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#if someone on OF buys one of my posts and immediately deletes their account i’m assuming their someone i knew in school l o l
xoxothickbitch · 2 years
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i want to make a blog similar to yours but i’m nervous to. any tips? also you look amazing and have definitely inspired me, maybe one day we can be mutuals <3
🥺🥺 really?? That’s so sweet of you to say ☺️ here’s some things I wish I knew before I started:
- make your nsfw blog on a completely different account, not just a side blog. This is a side blog so I’m extra selective with who I follow just in case people decide to creep and find out about my personal life. Also because of this, a lot of my mutuals don’t know we’re mutuals 😅
- start blocking ageless and blank blogs from the start. It took me hours to go through my followers list and block them all. Now I block them almost immediately once they follow me
- many people will think that a person (especially female presenting bodies) posting nsfw content is an immediate invitation to be gross in your dms and asks. Decide if this is something you’re comfortable with and establish boundaries. (This is why my dms are closed and my responses to asks aren’t always what the person is hoping for. I also sometimes just delete asks without any acknowledgment.)
- get some sort of tripod or selfie stick for taking pics or videos. I actually don’t follow this rule myself but I’ll stack items like books when needed in order to get the right angle. One day I’ll get a tripod and selfie stick… maybe 😅
- you don’t need lingerie to make nsfw posts but if you want to get some, I usually buy from Amazon, Shein, and Fashion Nova cause a bitch is poor
- be prepared to get to know your body very intimately if you don’t already
- start with angles/poses/body parts that you’re most comfortable and confident with. It’ll help make posting easier. (If you don’t have any, look at boudoir photography tik tok. Those photographers teach you how to take spicy selfies)
- be prepared to take A LOT of pics and videos… it’s usually like a 15 min session for me to get 1-2 good pics and 1 maybe 2 gifs.
- I keep a list in my notes app for possible captions on my posts if I can’t think of something. A lot of them are song lyrics and I’ll delete once I use it.
- decide right away if you wanna share your face or not. If you’re unsure, don’t share your face. People have openly admitted to me that that save my posts on their computers so who tf knows what they do with it. Hopefully it’s harmless but I’ve also had an instance of someone reposting (not reblog, repost) one of my gifs. Thankfully they took it down when I asked but then they blocked me afterward so 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️
- I used a variety of tags when I first started to help get my posts out there. But one thing I never did until recently was use a consistent tag (I use ok to reblog). So you can’t really find my older posts unless you dig deep (which is a good thing imo, my old posts were bad lmaoooo) but I would suggest using some sort of consistent tag.
- there will be haters. They’re usually few and far between (at least for me but also I’m not that popular) but they do appear from time to time. It can be hard to brush off their comments but I will fight them for you if you need me to. I’m always ready to throw hands.
- most importantly, have fun and post for yourself, so post as much or as little as you want. Obviously it’s hard not to get a bit upset if a post doesn’t do as well as you thought it would. But then I remember that I thought I looked good in the post and my bbs (regulars) interacted with it and that is enough for me ☺️ (it also helps to find a consistent time to post but the people who really like your blog will interact regardless)
- wait I have one more lol try to follow people who you admire and who give you inspiration but be careful because some people get upset if they see you copy a post of theirs. Also remember to reblog their posts. Tbh I need to get better at this but something I’m becoming more adamant about is that I want my blog to be a safe space for fat people. I don’t really follow or reblog thinner people because there are already countless blogs dedicated to them. Problem is, I’m having trouble finding blogs with fat content creators that isn’t stolen content 🙃
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cyarskj1899 · 1 year
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Asian Doll Defends Megan Thee Stallion Amid Tory Lanez Trial [Photo]
December 15, 2022 10:41 AM PST
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During the first week of Tory Lanez’s trial, Asian Doll offered her thoughts on the case while also lending support to Megan Thee Stallion. 
via: AceShowbiz
Megan Thee Stallion finds support in Asian Doll (Asian Da Brat). The self-proclaimed Queen of Drill made use of her Twitter account to defend the “WAP” hitmaker after someone called the latter a liar amid Tory Lanez trial.
“Megan is an Aquarius that just sums up a lot of the things she’s done,” an individual tweeted on Wednesday, December 14. “& if you know anything about Aquarius they lie they A** OFF!”
Asian caught wind of the post and felt the need to defend the Houston raptress. “Friend…. Ion think zodiac signs got nun to do with a female literally being shot in her foot by a midget delete this,” she said, referring to Asian’s alleged shooter Tory.
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The tweet arrived after the trial over the shooting incident involving Megan and Tory began on Monday, December 12. Tory, who is facing three felony counts, could face up to 23 years in prison if convicted.
Tory has denied that he was the one who pulled the trigger at the time. As for Megan, the “Savage” femcee testified in court that when she exited the venue of Kylie Jenner’s party, Meg heard Tory shout, “Dance b***h.” She also claimed she then saw him with the gun pointing at her before getting shot. She confessed she started to go into shock at that point.
After Tory shot her, Megan alleged that he told her, “Don’t say anything and I’ll give you a million dollars,” adding he was already on probation. As for why she lied to the police directly after the incident by telling them that she stepped on glass, Meg explained, “I’m in shock. I’m scared. I hear the gun going off, and I can’t believe he’s shooting at me,” she said.
“At the time, we are at the height of police brutality. I felt like if I said this man has just shot me, they might shoot first and ask questions later. I don’t feel safe with the police officers. In the black community, it’s not really acceptable to be cooperating with police officers,” she continued.
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startours · 3 years
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spidermaninlove · 2 years
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Follow Theory
Anon. Do you think it's a possibility that Tom following that account is a little signal (as if we needed another one) that, yes, they're engaged? Also, re: the ring: it's highly unlikely that Tom walked into Bulgari and said "yep, that one right there that's already Z's ring size, etc." Bulgari needs to source its diamonds from somewhere, so who knows. 1/2
Also, someone implied (a while ago) that Tom buying Z an engagement ring that cost "only" $250k would be pathetic/cheap of him. I have so many things to say about that, but I'll settle for three. 1) Diamonds differ in cost due to color, clarity, etc. Colored fancy diamonds can cost hundreds of thousands of dollars on their own. 2) Tom would've emptied his bank account and sold some plasma if Z had wanted a multimillion-dollar red diamond. He got his girl the ring she wanted. 3) Really? 2/2
moi:  Okay, since you went there, I’ll share my theory, but it’s subject to change depending on whether Tom unfollows the gem account.  
Tom and Z and their teams know his stans track his follows and according to deuxmoi’s anon, they are discussing how to handle the forthcoming news of their engagement.  So my theory is Tom followed the gem account as a prelude to their announcement.  In other words, to begin preparing Tom’s fans for the news.  
As a side note, when deuxmoi originally posted Superheroes to the alter, they forgot to redact the employer of the anon’s “friend,” immediately deleted it because they realized their blunder, and posted it again with the employer redacted per the anon’s request.  I’ve seen the unredacted version and all I’m going to say is it lends credibility to their statement.  
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Regarding the Bulgari ring, Z previewed/debuted a similar ring during a photoshoot with Law back in April of this year and fell in love with it.  So either Law or Z could have shown Tom the ring and he had Law purchase it from Bulgari on his behalf.  
The price of diamonds vary depending on quality, clarity, cut, color, shape and carat weight/size.  If Tom bought Z’s beloved Bulgari ring, 1) it’s high end jewelry priced upon request, so while we may estimate its price, no one but the buyer really knows what it cost, and 2) it’s what Z wanted, period.
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jjheejz · 3 years
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Just here to say thank you for explaining in length on zzh's issue. Really appreciate it. It is painful and it is hard. At times it feels like I'm grieving. Thank you again and keep safe.
This is an ongoing update about the case from start to development. List of all related posts can be found on this blog's pinned post (link provided at bottom of each post as well).
Also an update as of 22.8.21.
Update: Updated an advice to all. Added an important NOT, added J's side (keep supporting him)
Hi anon,
You're welcome! ❤️
If it helps to make you feel better, the latest update in the Entertainment Industry (from all the sources I have) is that the Official Authorities have started to look into the the issue already, specifically towards Internet Water Army(IWA) and the bodies behind them.
Background
For newcomers of this blog (if any), please browse content page here for context.
Because of the nature of his case, especially the overnight deletion, it caused a lot of people (general public) to look into this issue. Many of whom also express the same general sentiment (that his shrine case was definitely not a light one, but it does not warrant such an outcome). Some people also got to learn about the cultural (the shrines), political aspects and the industry + IWA.
However, as the internet is flooded with IWA, their influence may still skew passerby opinions, therefore, those more easily influenced/doesn't know the whole landscape public might have their own other conclusion (a factor of concern for the govt). Though, generally the logical audiences wouldn't even bother engaging with those posts in the first place, it became more like an Be Educated thing than a criticising thing.
Cause
The Officials started to step in partly because of the timely political clash of dates, this created a concern among the Officials. They literally kind of attracted the Government's attention themselves.
So shoutout to those who have asked before if the Government will do something about it, the answer is yes, they are in the midst of doing it (so sorry again to the anon whom I blanked out and deleted the ask about it too).
Still, I'm just sacarstically laughing at the whole situation. What we thought was an end was actually just another beginning, caused by those people themselves, they targeted someone, and yet it got ricocheted back at them (after being around for 10 over years).
Other impacts
Another change this case brought about, is that the Entertainment Industry landscape is getting a huge change eg. checking their celebrity's background so that the staff can better prepare to deflect any allegations etc.
What it means for him
Despite knowing this is good news, am still unsure what this entails for him. We can still wait. But knowing that even though he is not in front of the camera now, the impact of his issue is still currently generally positive, it's a funny kind of joy. His fate really is something (for those who have read my fate series about JZ).
Regarding silence 🛌
Lastly, I've been wanting to raise this but didn't know how/where to insert/didn't quite understand fully at first, the reason for being silent is that the purpose of those behind IWA (or similar terms etc) is probably (i stress again as this was a guess from the source) that there is a wave of people who wants to find out the political sentiment from the public and govt - and they are possibly NOT even govt bodies doing this kind of checks in the first place. So now they are trying to use JZ fans as a shield to avoid the authorities from coming to them (through J as well) - a line of thought.
That's why don't click into any videos/posts/trends (eg. Bilibili, twitter, weibo, zhihu etc) because they can all be collected as data.
Same advice as usual, ignore. WOH is still up on Youku, J is still working, work/studies & life is still a part of your life.
Stay silent, and live life to the fullest. 🌻
Hope this helped brightened your day a bit :)
Other details
Link here
---
Was thinking really hard if i should do a dedicated post on this, but tbh I got paranoid at some point on the IWA on Tumblr issue LOL (because of certain active login records in my account - but later kind of realised that I had a bunch of dead side blogs havent touched for years - I only use my main and this was created for JZ, so bots and buying of followers probably used my account to access my dead blogs or something, about 8 or 9 overseas login LOL to follow nonsense accounts, immediately logged them all out and did all my 2FA what not, do your 2FA guise!).
Was in between wanting to share more so more people know, while at the same time got paranoid over the tags LOL and pondering how silent should I be.
So thanks a lot for sharing your thoughts, it bridged a platform for my own questions. :) Hope it made you and everyone else at least a bit more hopeful to wait 💛
Answered on 22.8.21
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rachelbethhines · 3 years
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Tangled Salt Marathon - Be Very Afraid
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This is the best story arc episode in season three and arguably the best written episode since The Great Tree, but it’s still season three so there are still issues with it. 
Summary: When Zhan Tiri tells Cassandra she must destroy Rapunzel in order to wield the Moonstone's true power, Cassandra discovers that she can create, with fear, red rock spikes that cause fear and freeze their victims. Varian discovers the red rocks and teams up with Rapunzel to use his amber solution on them. Meanwhile, Eugene and Lance decide to throw a talent show to distract everyone from their fears. 
Why Can’t Cassandra Control The Rocks?
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The series never gives an actual explanation for this. She could control them just fine in Rapunzel’s Return, so what’s changed? 
There is No Destiny!
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There’s no prophecy, no oracle, no grand design nor master of fate to fight back against; the characters literally have no reason to do what they do. If you want destiny to be a goal then you have to establish what that destiny is first. 
What does Cassandra want? How does this connect back to Gothel, Rapunzel, and the Moonstone? Why she just failing about like an idiot here? Did she not have a plan when she threw her life away for this stupid rock? 
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And of course Zhan Tiri is lying here, but why should Cassandra believe her? What does she gain by listening to a creepy ghost girl? This ‘destiny’ has not been established, so therefore there’s no hook nor bait for Zhan Tiri to trap her with. 
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Leading directly into “you should kill your bestie’ should logically put Cassandra off of Zhan Tiri’s advice for good because Zhan Tiri isn’t actually offering anything. Temptation requires the person to be, you know, tempted by what they want, but Cassandra doesn’t know what she wants so none of this makes sense. 
The writing is desperately trying to make Cass sympathetic here, but all it winds up doing is making her look like a moron instead. 
This Isn’t Consistent
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Not only does this fail to explain why Cass could control the rocks previously but no longer can, but it’s also contradicted just a couple of episodes later with the incantation bullshit. 
You need an established magic system in place in order for the character’s actions to make sense show!
This Ultimately Goes Nowhere
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Ignoring how Varian should have been in season two and how translating the scroll should have led to freeing his father, which we’ve talked about previously; this subplot should have had more impact on the narrative than it actually did. Yes, Varian’s translation winds up driving the plot of Cassandra’s Revenge, but 90% of that episode winds up being utterly pointless, including the incantations themselves, so.... 
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I Like This Sequence; Shame It Winds Up Being Undermined Later  
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Unlike the majority of dream sequences in this show, this nightmare has an actual point. It more firmly establishes Varian’s fears and gives the audience some insight into what happened to him back in season one. Something we were sorely lacking. It also becomes the core conflict and drive of Varian’s character development through out the episode. 
Only for the episode to ignore Varian’s real issues and fail to adequately address anything. By series end this plot point will be completely forgotten. The show acts like bringing it up once and then never acknowledging it ever again just magically revolves Varian’s character arc. It doesn’t.  
So How Come Quirin Isn’t Affected By the Rocks? 
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He’s right there next to them and he shows no reaction to them at all. You’re telling me the man who lost his home twice to these things, almost died to them, and nearly lost his only child because of them, is just not going to respond to new creepy red ones popping up? 
Quirin would have a treasure trove of trauma to explore in his own right, that undoubtedly would connect back to Varian’s own issues, but we’re just going to ignore it and have Quirin off screen for the majority of the episode?
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Are These New Character Models?
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Are you shitting me!? 
They built five new models just for a short two minute scene, one where none of the new characters are named nor given lines, only to never appear ever again!
What the fuck? Why did you waste time and money on this? What happened to all of the other background characters you already built? Did a bunch of season one models just get lost or deleted or something? 
Also why are they all wearing green? Is it St. Paddy’s Day? 
This Plot Point Wasn’t Established Enough Beforehand
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Look, I’ll buy that there are people in Corona who still blame Varian for what happened in season one and for the Sapoiran take over. I mean they’re only getting half the story and were directly effected by his actions whether or not he intended harm to them. But we needed to see more of it beyond just this one scene.
No one was bullying him in Lost Treasure or The King and Queen of Hearts, so for all purposes he appeared to be integrated back into society, and now you’re telling me he’s not and that Rapunzel risked his well being by forcing him to interact with people who were hostile to him back in Lost Treasure? 
And yeah you can’t really move Lost Treasure back any further than it already is cause that’d leave a giant hole in the wall of the throne room for over a year. Which also makes no sense either. 
Or hey, maybe it’s just Feldspar being an asshole. In which case why should Varian or the audience care? 
Eugene is Wasted
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Look I understand that there’s only twenty five minutes to tell this story and that Eugene isn’t the focus of the episode. I also understand that the B-plot is meant to be comedic in order to relive tension from the A plot, but this wasn’t the best way to go about it. 
The B plot swings too far wide in the other direction that it dilutes the tension too much. The A plot now has to work over time to keep the urgency going. I could understand it, if the show wanted start off with small fears first, but it needed to ramp up the drama as it got closer to the climax, not under cut it. 
We never see Eugene freak out over anything other this this cowlick. In fact we never see him scared of anything else beyond this one scene, which undermines Rapunzel’s arc this episode as she’s suppose to be the only one bottling things in. What makes Eugene so special that he can keep a lid on it with out consequences, or are you telling me that a dumb cowlick is his only fear? 
Either answer is stupid. 
I Hope You Have Copies of the Map
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You went through all that trouble to steal the journal for this very reason and now here you are prancing around without it like it’s not that big of deal. Way to undermined past story arcs. 
It’s like the writers know that season one was their most successful season, and therefore try to make callbacks to it whenever they can, to make up for ignoring it in season two completely, but they still don’t want to actually acknowledge anything that happened during that season so they just refer to it in the laziest way possible, rendering the previous events pointless. 
So Close and Yet So Far
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I’m mainly posting this whole conversation so that you dear readers will have context for what I talk about next. 
For you see, this scene starts out okay and it looks like we’re finally going to address the elephant in the room regarding Rapunzel’s involvement in Varian’s past trauma, only for the scene to immediately side step the issue all together and not resolve the conflict at all. 
No! Don’t Interrupt; Listen! 
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Or at least go all the way and accept some of the blame yourself. 
It may look like Rapunzel is comforting Varian here on a superficial level, but without her verballing acknowledging what she did wrong, this action just winds up taking the focus off of Varian and what he needs and places it upon Rapunzel, both narratively and physically.
So what happens is that, in universe, it comes across like she’s just consoling Varian for her own personal comfort rather than genuinely trying to help. 
Why Would Varian Ever Think This? 
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Okay, first off this has nothing to do with what Varian was talking about previously. Why would he jump from discussing his trauma to praising Rapunzel? You know the woman who is responsible for said trauma? 
Secondly, this switches the focus of the conflict off of Varian’s specific trauma and makes it about a generic “over coming fear” lesson mixed with an out of place validation issue. Which is not what’s actually needed for his character development; nor for Rapunzel’s for that matter. 
Third, being the sundrop has nothing to do with Rapunzel as a person. Her being born with magical powers was an accident of fate, same as her being royalty. She’s not innately better than anybody else because of this and nobody has any narrative reason to assume otherwise. Especially since her powers are utterly disconnected from her actual personality, choices, and actions. All three of which have become unbearably unpleasant by the last season. 
Finally, Varian, of all people should be the last person on earth to ever think so highly of Rapunzel. Them being friends again is already pushing believability. Him suddenly kissing her ass the same as everyone else this season is just flat out bad writing.  
Varian knows better than anybody what an awful person Rapunzel is. He’s seen her at her worse. He’s seen her not live up to her hypocritical ideals. He knows the larger problems that steam from placing people in power on pedestals. As her former victim, Varian by all accounts should be the one person who can bring Rapunzel down to earth and poke holes into her ego, even while still being her friend. Especially while still being her friend. She needs that! Writing Varian as another blind Rapunzel stan is not only writing him out of character, but it also damages Rapunzel’s own development. 
Also Varian hates magic. Why would he now worship someone just for having magic? 
THIS AIN’T ABOUT YOU BITCH!!!
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I literally yelled that at my tv screen when I first saw this scene. Those were my exact words upon the episode’s first airing. And believe it or not, I’m not one to usually scream obscenities at inanimate objects. 
I understand what the writers were trying to accomplish here. They wanted Rapunzel to ease the tension by saying something funny and to make Varian laugh to distract him from his woes; thereby defusing the situation. But it doesn’t work because of season three’s tendency to make Rapunzel the most egotistical, smug, self-centered, abusive, self-righteous twat in the show. 
It really boggles the mind just how unaware the writing is. Like, surely no one makes their protagonist this unlikable on accident. Clearly they meant for Rapunzel to be an ass on purpose right?  They wanted Cass to have a reason to hate her so they decided to make her insufferable to the viewer in a misguided attempt to make Cass more sympathetic? Right? 
Then where is the bloody comeuppance? 
I genuinely thought this was all going to lead somewhere. That Rapunzel was going to learn to be a better person and I would have been fine by that. I would have applauded the show if they had turned her into an asshole intentionally so that they could teach a mature and nuanced lesson about morality. 
But they didn’t, and here I am; still shaking my head in confusion over a year later. 
Seriously what the fuck happened behind the scenes to cause this? How can processionals paid by the largest animation company in the world be so incompetent? 
Having Trauma is Not the Same Thing as Having a Phobia  
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This is where Varian’s arc falls apart. Not only does the episode fail to have Rapunzel acknowledge her past wrongs for a second time, but it also completely mishandles Varian’s trauma because it equates it to being an irrational fear. One that can be overcome through pure force of will at that, same as Lance and everyone else’s fears in the episode. 
Ok first off Varian’s fear isn’t irrational. He even just said so at the start of the conversation. Varian’s trauma is very real, it’s not a hypothetical unlike clown-spiders and cowlicks. Also has been given very little reassurance that it won't happen again. Varian has no reason to trust Rapunzel or anybody else in the show. They never owned up to abandoning him previously, and both he and the audience have little reason to believe that Rapunzel wouldn’t just neglect him again if it was convenient for her.   
Secondly one does not simply ‘overcome’ trauma. Oh you can deal with trauma, you can manage it and learn to live with it. But it never goes away. It doesn’t magically disappear just because you ‘faced it’. 
In fact confronting it head on is actually the opposite of what your suppose to do when going through something traumatic. Studies have shown that distracting your mind after a car crash or what have you actually helps with PTSD later on. And ‘dealing with it” doesn’t mean ignoring the problem out right, but rather learning how to function despite the pain. 
But as the show acts like Varian’s trauma never even existed after this episode. 
This Doesn’t Resolve Anything!
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What does “being special” have to with fear? How does this help Varian with his trauma? Empty validation has nothing to with what we were just discussing. 
Everyone gets afraid. Everyone has trauma of some sort. Are you telling me that my need for therapy some 20 years after being physically assaulted is just because I’m not special enough? Fuck you show! 
Moreover, this doesn’t resolve the story arc from season one. Varian and Rapunzel’s conflict with each other has nothing to do with self esteem. It was about personal responsibility, conflicting needs, and abuse. Yes, self image and acceptance was a small factor in their motivations, but it was never the driving goal behind their decisions. 
This is yet another broken narrative promise to the audience. There’s no closure to be had from this and leaves the viewer wanting, if not outright frustrated. 
In order to justify this exchange fans have to ‘read between the lines’ and make shit up in order for any of this to make any sense. People who still defend season three do by doing all the heavy lifting that writers themselves should be doing. 
If it’s not on screen, it doesn’t count. 
If Rapunzel never apologizes on screen, then she never apologized. If Rapunzel never checked up on Varian on screen, then she neglected him outright. If Rapunzel never acknowledges her wrong doings on screen, then she’s never learned anything. The characters pretending like she has doesn’t make it so. 
Why Does Cassandra Even Want a Destiny? 
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Yes, Zhan Tiri is lying, there is no destiny, but Zhan Tiri being a liar doesn’t absolve Cassandra of her own actions. 
Cassandra herself believes in destiny and is looking for her’s, but why? 
Why does she want a destiny? What is this destiny she’s after? Why does she believe such a thing exists? What does she believe it’ll gain her? Why is she willing to risk so much for such a vague goal? What does any of this have to do with the moonstone or her mother? How does this destiny connect back with her personal feud with Rapunzel? 
It’s all disjointed and confused. Nothing lines up. It’s like the writers just had this dart board full of ideas for Cassandra’s villain arc, but couldn’t decide on which one to go with, so they just threw darts randomly each episode and went with whatever stuck for any given scene.
“Oh she want’s revenge for her mother during this scene, or wait no, she’s actually looking for destiny this episode?” “What destiny?” “Who knows. Now for this scene we need her to be sad because reasons...” “What reason?” “I don't care, make something up... Uuuuh, she’s sad cause she’s not a royal guard still” “But she became a guard during season one.” “Ignore that. Kids won’t remember. Now she needs to be angry and threating here” “Why?” “Because it’ll look cool.” “But why is she angry?” “Cause it looks cool Bob! Geez! Oh but she still needs to be sympathetic so give her a frowny face afterwards. Just have Zhan Tiri remind her how much she hates Rapunzel later, so as to egg her on and keep her doing stupid shit?”  “But why does she hate Rapunzel?”  “Do I have to think of everything BOB!!!???”  
There, there’s my non-so-accurate behind the scene’s glimpse into the Tangled writer’s room when discussing Cassandra’s arc. I could be wrong. There could have been some intricate and complex plan thought out that just didn’t make it onto the screen for whatever reason, or maybe everyone involved was so far up their own ass that they just forgot to give their main villain an actual reason for being the villain. But regardless the over all effect is that Cassandra is handed the idiot ball for a whole freaken season in order to even have a conflict and that is never good writing; or rather she’s hit in the head with it repeatedly. 
This Actually Goes Against Zhan Tiri’s Plan
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Zhan Tiri’s short term goal is to be released from her dimensional prison and apparently she needs Cass and Raps to fight into order to do this. This was never established before hand and goes against her disciples pervious plans, but whatever. One could argue that this is just a lie in order to get them to fight later... 
However, this lie jeopardizes her long term goal. She eventually wants to wield both the moonstone and the sundrop herself in order to destroy Corona, but Rapunzel is the sundrop and you can only take her power during an ellipse, supposedly, which means if Cass actually succeeds in killing Rapunzel before then, then Zhan Tiri is up a creek without a paddle. Also if Cassandra did manage to steal Raps’ power with or without an ellipse then Zhan Tiri would still be out of luck. 
This was wholly unnecessary; you didn’t have to go from zero to sixty in one fell swoop. Have Zhan Tiri claim that fighting Rapunzel will award the power to the winner or something. There’s no need to bring up the ‘kill her’ option. That should logically just drive Cassandra away and puts Zhan Tiri’s plan at risk. 
The series wants to act like Zhan Tiri is this master manipulator, a chess master like Zantos or Palpatine, but she couldn’t even tie their shoes. Her plans make no sense and often contradict one another. They only work because the rest of the cast are reduced to imbeciles in order for them to work. 
This Plot Point Contradicts Season Two
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His fear of spiders was establish early on, and I’ll accept the clown thing as there’s nothing to contradict it, but Lance has preformed numerous times before now and has never show stage fright. He’s a huge ham and back in Return of Quaid he mentioned how much loved acting and preforming and apparently been on stage before, so where does this fear of singing in public come from? Heck he sung in public just a few episodes ago in Rapunzel’s Return. 
If you have to sacrifice established character into order to make your plot work then you need a new plot. 
This Song is Nice; It Just Needed to Be in a Different Episode 
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I’m glad Lance got a solo. He deserved one and the song is good. However it breaks the tension of the climax and gives the episode tonal whiplash. 
More than a song, Lance needed an actual focus episode in season three. One that was fully his. If anyone else shared it with him it needed to be Red and Angry, not Varian and Cass. 
Just imagine if this song came during an episode where he had to watch the girls. Imagine if he was singing it just for them. How much more impactful would that have been? 
Now imagine that we had a Rapunzel and Varian duet in it’s place here. That would have tied the episode together better and helped to further their own stories. Glenn Slater can write lyrics far better than Chris can write dialogue. I bet you a thousand to one Tangled the Series would have solved like half of it’s problems had Menken and Slater been allowed write and actual apology duet between Raps and Varian. 
Such a duet was proposed during Rapunzel’s Return but it could have worked here too, and you could have placed Lance’s solo in Day of the Animals or something, just leave Rapunzel out of that episode all together. 
Nothing honestly needed to be cut music wise, yet for some reason season three has less songs than the other seasons, even when counting the reprises, and they’re mostly shorter too. 
That’s mismanagement right there. Plain and simple. Someone at the top didn’t know how to balance the budget or resources and didn’t know where to the throw the money at. 
You Have a 70 Foot Shield Made of Magic Hair, Rapunzel
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You couldn’t think to just block those rocks instead?
Giving your protagonist a big hero moment doesn’t work if they placed the person the have to save in jeopardy to begin with show. 
I Do Not Care About Rapunzel Right Now, Show
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Yes, she’s the main character. Yes, her feud with Cass is the main conflict of the season and kicked off the episode. That does not mean that I automatically care about her personal feelings at this moment in time. 
Rapunzel has kept such a tight lid on her real feelings for the whole episode that this just comes out of nowhere. I was never waiting with baited breath for her to confess her deep dark secrets or whatever. 
It’s not even an interesting reveal. It’s just “Oh, see Rapunzel’s human too. She’s gets scared just like everybody else.”. I already fucking knew that, thanks. And what she’s afraid of isn’t even that compelling either; it’s a just a rip off of the prophecy dreams she had back in season one. The same ones that had no explanation and never furthered the story, so why should I care about this one?  
You have to earn the audience’s investment in your conflict. The character’s likability, as little as that may be currently, will only carry you so far, you have to establish shit first.  
Varian’s conflict has been the focus of the entire episode so far, and it’s a conflict that was set all the way back in season one, so of course that is what I’m invested in seeing get resolved. Rapunzel is once again just butting in and making it all about her when it’s not actually her story. 
And if you wanted it to be her story then you should have made her the actual focus to begin with and had her learn something by the end of it. 
This is Poor Choice of Words, Writers 
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I could be generous here and pass this off as Rapunzel not fully believing in this prophecy. After all Corona’s destruction is still a hypothetical at this point and Cassandra really has left already. Since the episode is about fear, Rapunzel is of course more afraid of losing Cassandra’s friendship as it’s real tangible possibility. 
More than a possibility even, Rapunzel’s been dumped. Season three is a classic break up story, right down to the poor plotting and tunnel vision, hence why it’s so gay baity. 
However, this reading only carries so far. For starters this is Rapunzel’s what, fourth prophecy dream so far? Haven’t the past three already came true, so why would she think this one wouldn’t? 
Secondly, all that good grace goes right out the window once it becomes clear that, yes, Cassandra is indeed a threat; a threat that Rapunzel refuses to take seriously because she cares more about her own personal validation than her kingdom. 
Even as Cassandra does succeed in destroying Corona, and no doubt harms other people while at it, Rapunzel still is obsessed with ‘winning Cassandra back’. Oh and make no mistake, this is not because she actually cares about Cassandra as a person and her needs or feelings. Nope. Rapunzel just doesn’t like being dumped. 
Why Does Varian Need to Shove His Feelings Aside for Rapunzel’s Bullshit?
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Rapunzel’s ‘confession’ has fuck all to do with Varian’s current issues. They do not connect in any way.  
Varian is dealing with real trauma, trauma that she helped cause, while Rapunzel is only dealing with a hypothetical prophecy and one very shallow, self-centered fear. There’s nothing to relate to here. Neither for Varian himself nor the audience. 
Yet for some undefined reason this is what gets Varian to ignore his PTSD flashbacks? What? 
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This is once again break the narrative promise. I was promised closure for Varian’s story arc and instead of that the writers just brush it up under the rug. 
From the outside looking in this doesn’t come across as Varian ‘overcoming’ his ‘fear’. It looks like an abuse victim using learned helplessness to placate his abusers.
And yes, for the last time Rapunzel is Varian’s abuser. 
NEGLECT IS ABUSE!!! 
And and even though he is no longer her ‘responsibility’, she is still neglecting him emotionally as his supposed friend. 
Varian’s and Cassandra’s Stories Undermined Each Other’s 
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Varian stopped the rocks. Rapunzel had nothing to do with it. Zhan Tiri blaming Rapunzel for it steals agency away from both her and Cassandra. 
However, if Rapunzel had used the hurt incantation to stop the rocks and Cassandra had felt it rom the other side, then you’d have something to back up Zhan Tiri’s claim and an actual point of real conflict to carry the rest of the season. Not to mention an actual tangible goal for Cassandra to work towards, survival. 
Cassandra’s conflict with Rapunzel not only prevents the resolution to Varian’s arc from being satisfying, but Varian fulfilling his arc in turn winds up cutting off Cass’s story at the knees. 
It didn’t have to be this way. Varian’s and Cassandra’s arcs should have complimented each other, but instead the creator decided to make them complete for screen time and relevance. 
It is such an gratingly stupid and petty decision that winds up being a disservice for all the characters involved.   
Cassandra’s motivation and goal should have been revealed back in season two. Varian should have been the sole focus of Rapunzel’s Return and gotten his big hero moment there along; with an actual ending to his conflict with Rapunzel that didn’t feel so lopsided and half assed. Then Rapunzel and Cassandra could have both been held accountable for their conflict in season three, instead of pretending like their shit smelled of roses the whole damn time. 
Lance Got a Whole Crowd Cheering Him On For Singing a Song, Varian Just Gets One Asshole Giving Him a Single Line of Congratulations
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Did I mention this show has an odd anti-Varian bias? Cause it does. For whatever reasons his own creators hate him and that’s just utterly baffling to me. Like why create a main character that you don’t like? 
I look down on professional writers who treat characters they didn’t create poorly within their works, like with James Gunn and Scrappy Doo in the Scooby Doo Movie, Adric in the Doctor Who spin offs, or even the treatment of Doofus in Ducktales 2017. I don't care how much a character is liked or disliked by fandom, that shit is just tasteless and often unfunny. But at least I understand where they are coming from when they do it. 
But I’ll never understand what compels a writer to sabotage their own work; one that they are getting paid to write no less. Especially when said character is super popular with their fans. And Chris knows this. He knows the ratings plummeted without Varian in season two. He knows the merch didn’t sell because there wasn’t enough Varian products. That’s why he hyped up Varian’s return a whole week before Season Three’s airing with a massive online campaign, but he wasn’t smart enough to treat the character decently afterwards? 
I mean congrats, you convinced a just enough viewers to come back to season three to keep the show on the air I guess, but you left them all pissed off and have nothing to show for it to the higher ups a Disney. 
And Chris wonders why he wasn’t asked back to work on new Disney princesses shows that are currently in the works. 
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That is Not Quirin. That is a Plank of Wood Pretending to be Quirin.
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*Beep* *Boop*...*Dad Bot Is Proud. exe* 
Quirin is such a pale shadow of his season one self that he might as well not exist. I genuinely don't know why the writers released from the amber so early if they weren’t actually going to use him until the season finale. 
For the longest time I honestly thought that Rapunzel sucked out his soul with that decay incantation; what with that lyric about “setting the spirit free”. I genuinely thought that would be a later plot point, but nope, it’s just bad writing
Him just saying hi to son once and smiling blankly isn’t compelling and it’s isn’t fulfilling. It doesn’t actually resolve his arc. I mean he’s at least shown spending time with his son, but that’s not enough. We need to see him acknowledge past, we need to see him acknowledge his own flaws, and we need to see him being more attentive when Varian is in need. .  
Season one Quirin would be trying to stop Varian from going near the red rocks, a post season one Quirin should logically go after his son to make sure he’s alright, even if he’s know longer trying to actively stop Varian like he once did. 
There’s also that damn note and it’s secrets! 
You know what? That’s it. That’s the problem. The focus is all wrong in season three. Episodes get pulled into to many directions trying to juggle too many characters rather than dedicating the needed time to each individual arc. 
Season two’s finale should have been a three parter with Cass’s full motivation and goal laid bare before leaving.
Rapunzel’s Return should have been solely about Rapunzel and Varian’s conflict and resolving that arc fully 
Either Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf or Day of the Animals should have been a Lance episode about him and the girl’s, no Rapunzel. 
And this episode should have been about Quirin and Varian resolving their issues, with the Rapunzel and Cass stuff as the B plot not the stupid talent show 
There, all fixed. You don't even have to cut much, just rework the focus and leave Rapunzel and Cassandra out of conflicts they have no business being in. 
This Does Not Excuse Rapunzel’s Later Negligence Regarding Cassandra
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Just because the red rocks was an accident doesn’t mean Cassandra should get a free pass for all the awful things she does later. Rapunzel uses this one interaction to excuse everything else Cassandra does in season three, as if she was just some poor lost baby and not a grown ass woman out to kill them. 
In fact Cass showing hesitancy here actually makes her later actions even worse. This means that she fully acknowledges that what she’s about to do is wrong, but goes ahead and does anyway, even gleefully so at times. Then she has to gall to act baffled when people see her as a threat? 0.o 
When fans say Cass isn’t redeemable or shouldn’t be redeemed, it’s not because he actions are so much worse than everybody else’s (even though they are), It’s because she doesn’t act like she wants to be redeemed half the time. The show doesn’t properly set up her ‘redemption’, instead it just lazily has Rapunzel yell at us how she’s ‘not lost’. 
Like below for instance. 
What Does Cass Need Saving From?
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Cassandra is not in danger. She is the danger. 
She made the conscious decision to leave taking a world endangering artifact with her, and she later makes the conscious decision to come back and be an asshole for no adequately defined reason. 
She’s never shown to be in any physical danger from the rocks, the moonstone, or even Zhan Tiri herself. She apparently can take care of herself in the wild for over a year. She also has the capability of getting a job else where and just living out her life if she wanted to. Nothing is forcing her to listen to Zhan Tiri. 
Heck, even her hurt arm, the one thing Rapunzel is responsible for and could potentially be a continued threat to Cass’s well being, is just completely forgotten about.
And no, mental illness and past trauma are not excuses as well. In fact it’s rather insulting to both people with mental heath problems and abusive survivors to suggest otherwise. We don't need ‘saving from ourselves’ and we aren’t automatically dangers to anybody. Nor do we get free passes if we hurt someone. A jerk who happens to have a mental illness is just a jerk who so happens to have a mental illness; coloration is not causation. 
Conclusion 
It’s better than Rapunzel’s Return, but this episode was still a disappointment. A small part of me whishes this was a two parter because it has so much untapped potential, but I know it’s just be wasted in Chris’s hands. 
Anyways, I consider this to be the true mid-season finale of S3. Not only did the hiatus kick in after this episode, but it also clearly divides the season between the first half filler and the later Cass conflict. As such the next entry will be the mid-season recap. See ya, then. 
Ko-fi https://ko-fi.com/rachelbethhines
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jamiethetrans · 3 years
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Women of SVU - Day 1 Getting ready for a party/wedding
Rita Calhoun x Reader
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Hey everyone! Just a repost from my other account! Told you a long time ago that I would transfer everything that I’ve posted on the other blog onto this blog. This is the first of the three stories that I have from the Women of SVU week that happened a while back. So just to warn you all, a lot of stories is gonna get posted now, so the other blog can get deleted asap.
And please let me know if you want me to add a taglist for the stories. Would love to know what you guys think about that.
Also new keyboard, so if any misspelling, blame that.
Thanks for the love on this new blog. It’s amazing! Thank you!
“This was not how I expected my day to go”, you said as you stood in front of a body of a fifteen year old girl. Raped and shot point blank between the eyes. Treated like she was nothing but dirt.
“Why? Did you have any plans?”, Kat asked as she stood next to you, writing down important information about the victim.
“Rita and I are going to a wedding in like five hours”
Kat gave an impressed look and nodded. “That’s why you’re so fancy dressed”, she said and you nodded and pulled out your phone, finding Rita’s number. Kat looked around, watching all of the people standing around to see the crime scene. She noticed a man standing in a hoodie, looking at her. She narrowed her eyes at him and gently touched your arm.
“Y/L/N”
“Hm?” You looked up from your phone and looked at Kat following her line of sight, immediately spotting the man in the hoodie, standing by the corner.
“Hey”, you called out and the man looked towards you. You and Tamin watched as he turned around and suddenly ran. “Hey!”, you called out and you both ran after him. Olivia and Rollins turned as they heard you yell and saw you both run after a man. Their eyes met and Rollins shrugged making Olivia roll her eyes.
The man sped up his pace and you let Tamin take the lead, noticing a shortcut. You smirked and ran another way, hoping you were right.
“NYPD stop!”, Tamin yelled and the man turned his head to look at her when he felt someone jumping into him from his left.
“Got ya”, you said as you immediately got on top of him and put him in cuffs before turning to Tamin. “You okay?”
“It’s hurts a little”, the man said and you frowned at him. “Not you idiot!”
“I’m fine Y/L/N”, Tamin said with a chuckle and you stood from the ground with the man and Tamin held a hand to her mouth the moment she saw it making you frown at her. “What?”
She cleared her throat and nodded towards your thigh and you looked down, loosing all color in your face as you saw the hole in your pants. “Fuck… Rita’s gonna kill me”, you whispered and walked back towards the crime scene, Kat not far behind. “Yeah she is”
Once you reached the crime scene, Olivia and Amanda turned to see you with the man in cuffs and immediately noticed the hole in your pants, most of your thigh showing. “What happened?”, Olivia asked the moment she knew you were both in ear shot and you sighed.
“Just caught a guy running from his own crime scene”, you said and let an officer take the man. “I didn’t do anything to that girl!”, he yelled.
“Shut up”
“And that?”, Amanda asked pointing towards the hole and you all looked down at your very visible thigh.
“Yeah… let’s just say these aren’t my work pants”, you said.
“Calhoun’s gonna kill you”, Amanda said and you sighed nodding and looked down at your phone, instantly seeing a missed call from Rita. “Shit. Cap is it okay if-“
“Yeah sure go go”, Olivia immediately said and you nodded and walked towards your car. You drove as fast as the speed limit let you and you reached your apartment. You immediately got out and ran inside. You walked to your bedroom and immediately walked over to the mirror, seeing the big hole in your pants. “Goddammit”, you hissed and opened your pants.
“Darling?“
You turned to see Rita standing in the doorway to your bathroom in her red dress and sighed. She immediately noticed your expression and softened her eyes. “What happened?”
“A fifteen year old girl was raped and killed. Saw a man at the crime scene and he ran away from us”, you explained taking off your pants completely before throwing them onto the bed. “I of course run after the guy. Kat ran after him as well and I saw a shortcut. When I reached him I had to jump into him so he could fall”, you kept on explaining and Rita nodded, listening carefully.
“And I broke my pants”, you said closing your eyes, knowing what was coming next.
Rita’s eyes widened and you sighed. “What?!” She walked over to the bed and looked at the brand new pants she has bought for you for this exact wedding. “Y/N…”
“I know”, you almost begged and she sighed and took a hold of your wrist. She brought you closer and covered your cheek.
“As long as I get you back in one piece, I don’t care what your clothes goes through”, she whispered and you smiled. She leaned up and kissed you softly on the lips before pulling fully back.
“But now I gotta go down and buy you some new ones”, she said and you sighed, feeling more bad than you ever had before.
“Baby I’m sorry I–“
“Don’t be sorry”, she instantly stopped you and your eyes met. “There are millions of pants out there. Only one of you”
That was enough for you to keep your mouth shut and she gave you a soft smile before walking out of the door. “Rita?”, you stopped her and she turned to you. “I love you”
She stood still watching you. It was the first time she had heard you say it and she felt her heart beat faster at the sound. “I love you too”
You smiled and watched her walk away towards the entrance. You sighed and sat down in the bed, immediately laying down and letting out a loud sigh
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binniedeactivated · 4 years
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saint.|| soobin (2.2)🌪
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🖤┊𝔰𝔞𝔦𝔫𝔱 . ೄྀ࿐ 𝖕𝖆𝖎𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖌: 𝖘𝖔𝖔𝖇𝖎𝖓 𝖝 𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖊𝖗 𝖌𝖊𝖓𝖗𝖊: 𝖘𝖒𝖚𝖙/𝖆𝖚 𝖜𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖈𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖙; 2225
And just like that, she was the laughing stock of the whole school again. no one expected that. in fact they hadn’t expected anything at all. but kevin thought it would be a good idea to expose mia for who she really was. so yes, mia’s nudes were posted on social media for the world to see. she hadn’t noticed until she woke up for school that morning, the group chat her and her friends had made was being blown up of them just sending the pictures and asking if that was really her. 
mia covers her mouth with her hand feeling absolutely sick to her stomach. she ran to the toilet and hurled everything she ate for dinner last night. she hovers over it when she was finished, breathing hard and crying about the embarrassment she had yet to feel. her friends were still texting her phone questioning whether if it was her or not. mia had typed a simple ‘yes’ and the messages went into shambles after then. they were asking her why she’d do something like that. subliminally calling her a whore if she ever fucked kevin. but it was hard to tell them what was going on, because if it isn’t about having sex with guys and buying expensive clothes they wanted nothing to do with it. 
mia told them to stop, telling them that it was a situation that they’d never understand. but of course the girls didn’t listen, telling her that she should’ve never sent the nudes in the first place. not being able to withstand their attitudes mia slid to the right and deleted the group chat and all of it’s messages. she felt herself beginning to shake. she was angry she couldn’t even think straight. but her parents were calling her telling that it was time for her to go school. but how could she go? how could she tell them that she didn’t want to go? she couldn’t tell them what happened, they’d kill her. 
she couldn’t just blatantly tell them that she didn’t want to go, they’d tell her no. she stuck with it and just went. she was sure to wear the biggest hoodie she can find. she kept it on as she walked through the school hallways. she barely even went to class. she was relieved when no one noticed her. she wouldn’t be able to withstand the embarrassment she’d feel if they were. even her friends watched her stroll through the hallways trying not to be noticed and they only scoffed at her. you were easily floating through the hallways though with the help of soobin’s back. he never let you use your own two feet to get anywhere when he was around. as much as you slapped his shoulders and told him to put you down he didn’t. he just laughed. you kind of liked the view from up there though. 
“did you hear about what happened?”. he mentions while bringing you to your class. you were glad the hallways were calm enough so that you could hear him. “no why?”. soobin breathes. 
“it’s mia”. he starts. 
“what happened to her?”.
“her nudes were leaked on social media”.
your heart dropped. how could she send nudes to anyone? 
“what do you mean leaked? by who? who saw them?”.
“the whole school saw them. they were leaked by kevin”. he mentions again. you think for a moment. wasn’t kevin soobin’s friend? 
you slapped your hand across the back of soobin’s head. 
“what do you mean leaked by kevin? aren’t you friends with kevin?”. 
soobin grimaces. 
“why are you hitting me like I’m the one who leaked them? I didn’t even know she sent him nudes in the first place”. 
“It doesn’t matter that’s your friend! you’re supposed to hold him accountable for his actions. so you saw the nudes posted on social media and you did what? you laughed?”. 
“I didn’t laugh”, soobin kind of sort of pouted. which you thought was adorable but that wasn’t the point. 
“so you didn’t say anything?”. you repeated. 
“he’s my friend not my son. I can’t control what he does”.
“so you’re really just going to be like that?”. you say, as he puts you down at the door in front of your classroom.
“be like what?”. 
you slap his chest with your jaw clenched. 
“heartless soobin. are you really going to be like that? that girl is going through hell because of your friends and you are sitting here ignoring everything? you’re just as bad as them”. 
soobin flinched before you hit him. he sighed, knowing you were disappointed in him once again. he felt as if he couldn’t do anything right. 
“I don’t want my name to be in anything or else people are just going to blame me. I didn’t do any of that shit to her”. you squinted your eyes at him.
“how do I know that? you two were dating right?”.
“we didn’t date and you know that”.
“you went on one date with her and never spoke to her again”. 
“so what?”.
“what happened soobin? don’t lie”. 
soobin’s heart pounded and if he didn’t pray to God for anything else he prayed that you couldn’t see how hard he was breathing.
“what happened soobin?!”. you repeated this time growing frustrated. you felt like he was going to lie. 
“nothing happened can you calm down? Please?”. he begged in distress. he attempted to grab your hand but you snatched it back. 
“I feel like you’re lying”. soobin sighs and rolls his eyes. 
“I’ll see you later soobin I have to get to into class. and yes, I will be expecting you to tell your friends to stop messing with mia.=”. you said with as much attitude as you could muster before leaving him in the hallway alone. he had no idea where his friends were and you were no longer with him so he thought it was best for him to just go to class--or free period because that’s what he had. he dragged his way to the library already stressed about what he was going to have to do. 
he opened the door and saw yeonjun sitting at a nearby table studying. he was ready to mean mug him until sister anne told him to sit right at the table with him. he deadpanned her before doing as he were told. he was too stressed to argue. he sat across from yeonjun and proceeded to take out notebooks and things he didn’t normally use. he wanted to make good use of his time regardless if it wasn’t school related. 
he was fine until he kept feeling yeonjun’s eyes on him. once he looked up at the boy he was still staring at him like some sort of psycho. 
“what the fuck is wrong with you?”. soobin harshly whispered. and yeonjun sort of laughed, knowing it would piss me off. yeonjun waits until he starts drawing again and kicked him under the table. soobin mutters a curse word and looks at yeonjun as if he wanted to kill them. 
“did you hear about mia?”. he began. soobin gave him a straight face. “yes why?”. “were you apart of it?”. 
“no”. 
“I don’t have time for mia anymore”. 
“didn’t you fuck her not too long ago? and the guys did too right?”.
“just shut the fuck up yeonjun”. soobin hisses with his eyes still on his paper. 
“why the hell are you so hostile? what did you do?”. 
“nothing”. 
“no way the guys are tormenting her on their own”. 
“why do you give a fuck?”.
“you should relax. I’m only asking you a question”. 
“yeah well no one asked for your questions”. 
“you’re probably the reason why mia is being treated like this right?”.
soobin glares at him. yeonjun smirks.
“bingo”. 
“it was a fucking mistake. I shouldn’t have done it”.
“what did you do?”. soobin rolls his eyes. he looked around before he snuck into the seat next to yeonjun. 
“If i tell you this you can’t tell no one shit. alright?”.
yeonjun nods. 
“I’m serious as fuck”. 
“I know. just tell me”.
with his voice as quiet as possible soobin proceeds to tell him what happened that night. with each detail yeonjun’s jaw dropped lower. he told him how you felt about mia, and how much you were caring for her. he told him he apologized. he told him about what happened this morning too. it was a relief. he could finally get some advice.  
“yeah and now she wants me to tell the guys to stop but she doesn’t know them. she doesn’t know that telling them to stop would only rile them up and they will call me fake for even fucking doing it”. 
“she’s making you tell them to stop?”.
“yes”. 
“she’s making choi soobin tell his friends to stop being problematic?”.
“yeah why?”.
“and you’re considering it?:
“yeah well I have to”. 
yeonjun scoffs thinking about soobin’s asshole history. he then thinks of something and starts smirking. 
“who is this girl? If she changed you like this then I’m starting to like her too”.
soobin stopped combing his hair with hands to give yeonjun a death ridding glance. 
“watch your fucking mouth before I kill you”.
“I was joking calm down dip-shit”. 
“don’t joke like that”. 
“anyway soobin. if you don’t want to lose this girl--which it clearly sounds like you’d die without her-- you have to tell her the truth”.
“what you mean?”.
“you have to tell her that you started this shit”.
“she’s never going to fucking speak to me again”. 
“all I’m saying is if she finds this shit out by bits and pieces of information she hears from someone else, you’re a dead man”. 
soobin places his elbows on the table and buries his face in his hands. 
“shit and this girl got you stressing? I really need her number for real”. 
soobin reaches out his arm and shoved him, yeonjun grips the table laughing almost falling out of the seat. 
you got out of class immediately worried about mia’s safety. you looked into the classroom she was supposed to be in but you couldn’t find her. you even text her multiple times but she didn’t respond. your heart was racing and you didn’t want to ask people about her because you didn’t want them to bring her situation up. so you ignored that idea and waited for the bell to ring before you headed to the bathroom. 
“mia?”. you called out. she wasn’t at the same spot you found her in last time. you look around a little more. “mia?”, you call out again hearing your voice bounce off the bathroom walls. it was the last stall. you saw faint movement between the cracks of the stall and you took no hesitation to kick it open with your foot. and sure enough there mia was, shaking and shoving pills into her mouth like a lunatic. you ran into the stall and took the pill tablets throwing them into the toilet. you didn’t know what kind of pills they were but you know she was taking one too many. your heart started to ache. 
“mia? what are you doing?! are you alright why are you trying to overdose?!”. you hiss frantically. she glances over at you wit teary eyes. she began crying. you wrap your arms around her hunched frame. “mia don’t do this”. you croaked, almost teary eyed. 
“I want to die”. she choked.
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answering questions I’ve been asked on TikTok✨
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QUESTION: how did you get into reading?
So, when I was in middle school (many moons ago) we had this thing called AR Testing. Basically, you read a book and take a test on it—the questions were things that happened in the book, it was really simple. If you got a good grade, you got points. The more points you earned, the more eligible you were for the reading party at the end of each semester. Me, being the nerd I am, got top of my class because I went through 8th grade level books like it was nothing. The librarian at my school brought me books from the high school to read since everything was easy for me, and alas, my addiction began. And now that I have adult money, it’s a true addiction. Also, telling my father “I’m bored” and his response being, “go read a book or something” so thanks dad.
QUESTION: what’s one book you ALWAYS recommend to people?
This one is tough because I’ve read THOUSANDS of books, but if I had to choose one, it would probably be Confess by Colleen Hoover. I fell in love with her work in high school when I first read Ugly Love, but Confess is the type of book that pulls at your heart strings, y’all. It has everything people love: humor, sexual tension, drama, love. GO BUY THE DAMN BOOK. Or honestly any book by Colleen Hoover—she’s a fucking amazing author.
QUESTION: outside of making TikToks, what do you do for a living?
I currently work at a restaurant and hate every second of it. If anyone tells you to become a server, DONT. It’s not worth the hassle, I promise you. Sure, you can make decent money but the amount of rude customers and shitty tips you receive each shift is very disheartening. If you really need a job, do anything BUT work in the food industry.
QUESTION: what’s your wattpad story about?
First question: which one? I have about 30 drafts sitting there waiting to be posted. But, I’m going to assume you’re talking about the Harry Styles fan fiction I’ve been working on for the past 4 years and haven’t had the courage to post. I’ll tell you a little about it: Elaine Aldridge is forced into a betrothal to a man she’s never met & loathes. She goes to his court and realizes things aren’t what they truly seem. And the guard her future husband sticks on her??? None other than Mr. Harry Styles. Add in some magic & deaths and you’ve got my story— The First Prince. (Honestly, that’s an extremely shitty description so if you wanna check it out go to my wattpad account)
QUESTION: how old are you?
Ahem. . . twenty-one.
QUESTION: what is your dream career?
Being a published author and having people rave about my books. That’s all. Or, an editor for a publishing company. Imagine reading all day and being paid for it🤩
QUESTION: what was your least favorite read of 2020?
I already KNOW I’m gonna get shit for this but....... the wicked king. YALL I LITERALLY COULDNT GET THROUGH IT IM SO SORRY, I STILL HAVENT FINISHED IT
QUESTION: current favorite author?
Sarah. J. Maas. I don’t know what it is about her writing style, but it’s addicting. Throne of Glass is hands down the best series I’ve ever read. A Court of Thorns and Roses is the first book I’ve EVER reread. Her stories truly suck you in and hold onto you—you get lost so easily in her writing and it’s like once you’re done with a series, nothing will compare. Or, at least that’s how I felt after finishing Kingdom of Ash. Honorable mentions: Jennifer L. Armentrout, Penelope Douglas, L.J Shen, Elle Kennedy and Kennedy Fox.
QUESTION: any recommendations/tips to give to a new reader?
I’ve always given this advice to people who want to get into reading: find what you like and start with that. If you like romance, I’ve got a list for you to choose from. Mystery? Another list. Sci-fi? I GOT YOU. Fantasy? Yes! Sports fiction? It might take me a second but I’ll find you a book. Nonfiction? I’m zero help in that category, honestly. The point of the matter is that you’re never going to enjoy a book if you aren’t interested in the underlying topics.
QUESTION: do you ever find yourself comparing your life to fictional life?
Yes. All the time. I daydream about being apart of the Inner Circle and living in Terrasen with Aelin and Rowan. I think about what it would be like to have real powers and a mate. It drives my boyfriend crazy—but he loves me anyway.
QUESTION: what are your most anticipated books of 2021?
Here’s a list:
A Court of Silver Flames by Sarah J. Maas
The Crown of Gilded Bones by Jennifer L. Armentrout
Gods and Monsters by Shelby Mahurin
Crescent City 2 (Untitled) by Sarah J. Maas
A Vow So Bold and Deadly by Brigid Kemmerer (I just ordered this one & it arrives tomorrow)
Blessed Monsters by Emily A. Duncan
QUESTION: why did you start a Tumblr?
Honestly, I used to love tumblr when I was in grade school (way too young to be on here then but what else is new). I like having an extra space to get my questions and comments out without having to compress it into a 60 second video for TikTok to see. Tumblr is a good place to blog & post things like this.
QUESTION: what’s your favorite song right now?
I’ve listened to Carry You by Novo Amor every day for the past two months and I cry each time.
QUESTION: why write Harry Styles fan fiction?
Simple: I love Harry Styles. I’ve been a fan of him and One Direction since they were on X FACTOR. Read that again. X. Factor. I used to watch their performances on YouTube before WMYB even came out. Of course, I love all of the 1D boys but I was always a Harry gal. And I look up to him in a way—I’ve read things about people wishing they knew him personally and honestly? I would never want to meet him. I like the version of him I’ve cooked up in my brain over the past 10 years. I like the symbiotic relationship I have with his music. Fine Line is a ✨masterpiece✨. HS1 is a ✨work of art✨.
now, some topics I’ve been asked way too many times and want to finally get to:
QUESTION: political views?
the saying “anyone but trump” has been in my brain for the past four years. No, I’m not a republican. No, I’m not a democrat. I like to think of myself as a progressive (ahem, liberal) Did I vote for a democratic candidate? Yes, and I’d do it again and again until the US isn’t one of the worst countries—I’m sorry, businesses— to be apart of. I wanted Bernie but got Biden, and I’m alright with that. And my girl Kamala🥳
QUESTION: how did you feel about the BLM protests?
I went to multiple BLM protests and donated a lot of funds to BLM & other organizations. It’s 2021, people... stop being fucking RACIST. And don’t be afraid to call racist people out! Black Lives Matter, even if no one is posting about it anymore.
QUESTION: thoughts on abortion?
your body your choice, queen! not my uterus, not my problem.
QUESTION: there was a comment on an old video of yours talking about r*pe, why did you delete the comment?
I made a video when I first started my account on TikTok about reading in public and feeling “turned on” by it. Go watch it if you don’t know what I’m talking about. BUT, some ignorant male decided to comment and say “this is how girls get r*ped”. Whew. So. I deleted the comment because ....
I am a victim of sexual assault. Along with a lot of other women. 1 in 5 women have been victims of sexual assault. Talking about being r*ped isn’t funny.
No one else needed to see his comment. I reported it immediately and his account was shut down.
I never got justice for what happened to me, and the fact that some random male—who had never even met me or seen me before my video showed up on his FYP—had the nerve to comment that? Unacceptable.
this question isn’t as controversial but
QUESTION: what’s the best way to get out of a toxic relationship?
okay, let me just start off by saying that the people around you who love and support you are going to be your backbone. Leaving a toxic situation is hard, and every situation is different, but my best piece of advice to offer you is don’t be afraid to ask for help. Your loved ones are going to be there for you when you need them, even if you don’t believe they will. If you explain what’s happening, someone you know and love will drop whatever it is their doing to make sure you get out safely. good luck my babes.
now, back to our regularly scheduled program:
QUESTION: any tips on making tiktoks?
Literally none. I post what I think is funny and relatable and if anyone agrees, I’m satisfied. Even if it’s one view, it’s good enough for me. So I guess my one tip is to not base your life off of an app and followers.
QUESTION: favorite Harry Styles fanfic?
DONT MAKE ME CHOOSE. Duplicity is up there, along with Stall 1&2, and Kiwi. After? Absolutely not.
QUESTION: favorite WEBTOON?
y’all already KNOW. LORE OLYMPUS BY USEDBANDAID. Rachel is a genius and I have reread the series a million times. Hades is my soulmate and Apollo can rot in the fiery pits of the Underworld. also, if we’re talking about other webcomics, reading Walk on Water on mangadex...🤫
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QUESTION: favorite movie?
Howls Moving Castle. I will be getting my “a heart is a heavy burden” tattoo very very soon.
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QUESTION: I read your Elain theory on tumblr, can you explain a little more?
I thought I was pretty straightforward but I’ll say it again: she is always the “good” one and it’s too suspicious. SJM has already given one Archeron sister a happy ending, Nesta’s is obviously inevitable, but Elain? She has too many options for a happy ending. Lucien, who is her “mate”. Azriel, who is intrigued by her slightly. Her human guy—I don’t remember his name—who is disgusted that she’s not human anymore. Or, alone, planting flowers all day. BUT! My point is that she’s not truly happy. She was forced into the Cauldron just like Nesta. She was ripped away from the life she loved so dearly and didn’t want to give up. The man she was going to marry now hates her guts because she’s a High Fae. She has the perfect set up for a villain plot line and I’m all here for it.
well, that’s all I feel like doing tonight. hope you enjoyed my little q&a! be kind, and talk to you later! byeeee!
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noraszoo · 4 years
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Enigma
tendou satori x reader; side ushijima & reon & reader friendship
word count: 2900+
content: slowburn (as slow as it can get in <3000 words), developing friendships, platonic relationships (this is pretty much,,,not romantic at all???), brief mentions of past bullying/exclusion, mild trust issues, fluff
cross-posted on my ao3
(WOW OKAY so first off,,,not to flex but i’m kind of really proud of this?? i hope it’s as good as i think it is right now--i’m kind of hyped up on caffeine and a lack of sleep so my perception of things might be a little off, to say the least. 
i think tendou is an interesting character, and he has a personality that’s sort of,,,,malleable? in a sense? so this is my take on him! but i hope i still kept him accurate to how he’s portrayed in the show. 
also !! i’m probably going to be opening up requests soon!! this is still a small blog but once i post my request rules you can feel free to stop by and leave a suggestion in my inbox :) 
i really hope you guys enjoy this one!! happy reading!!)
☾.:°∗★.:☆:.★∗°:.☽
Making friends was never an easy process for you. You could count on one hand the amount of friendships you’d initiated yourself, and most of those occurred between the ages of five and twelve. After that, it was not smooth sailing and you found yourself sinking deeper into a pit of self-doubt and self-loathing. 
Because, you figured that the only reason you couldn’t form connections deeper than surface-level was because you were… well, you. People never made the effort to approach you, so you didn’t put in the effort either. Though at first it was a tough pill to swallow, you’d convinced yourself that was just how life went as one of the unlucky ones. 
Maybe you’d be a bit more content if the lucky ones would retain their distance from you. 
In a way, they did. The kids with big friend groups--the typical loud, chatty ones that pushed tables together in the cafeteria to fit their whole squad--didn’t really interact with the likes of you. Not that you minded. You only started to mind when they did start to interact with you in a less-than-pleasant manner. 
It started with lingering glances that you felt burn into the back of your neck during lunch. That’s what initially drove you out of the main cafeteria and into the bathroom, where you’d neglect eating in exchange for a quiet, botherless place. Then it led to too-tight smiles being sent your way in the hallways, followed by silent laughter shared among their groups. By then you’d caught on, and tried to distance yourself from them. But things never went as planned for unlucky ones like you. 
They’d talk to you in class, eyes narrowed, brows raised, and smiles pulled taut against their conventional features as they chatted about their weekend with you as if you were all old friends. 
It hurt more than being alone had. After a while, you learned to be alone and not lonely. You liked it, even. Knowing that these people were feigning friendship for their own sick entertainment only served to hold you back in the grand scheme of school-life. 
You remembered all the jeering comments from junior high even when entering your first year of high school. You remembered the comments on your hair (“Yeah! That’s such a cute style! You should wear it more often”) that only led to you holding back tears in the girls’ bathroom during lunch and plucking out bobby pins from within your hair, reverting back to whatever style you typically wore. You remembered comments on your photos that you’d even dared to post online (“I liked your outfit that you wore on your trip last weekend. So cute”) that nearly made you delete your account after heavy consideration. 
You remembered a lot of things. Maybe too many for your own good. It’s what led to you lacking trust in everyone around you and analyzing things far too deeply to be healthy. 
When you entered high school, you expected things to be the same. Though the same group of people weren’t following you to your choice of school (Shiratoriawa, which you studied frantically for in what you were sure was a subconscious effort to distance yourself from whatever schools they would be attending), you figured that people didn’t change. People didn’t mature. It was still school, after all. No age or grade or whatever would change human nature. 
Maybe that’s why Tendou Satori had been such an enigma to you in your first year. 
You remembered entering homeroom--no daring makeup, no accessories to your uniform, and hair worn as always--and avoiding the gazes of all your classmates. You plopped yourself into whatever spare seats were in the back and waited for the day to start, quiet and mundane and tiring as always. 
What you hadn’t been expecting was someone to talk to you--already, on your first day. As if you were such a visible target for those around you that they could immediately sniff out your inferiority among them. 
Bright red hair that seemed to defy gravity was the first feature you noticed. His eyes were a similar color, though certainly darker, and his expression was far too similar to those you’d seen in the past for comfort. 
“Hiya! I’m Tendou. What’s your name?” 
The greeting went in one ear and out the other, though the general gist of it had stuck inside your head well enough to be able to process it. You averted your eyes from his. The best way to deal with someone like him was to respond, and not hope for, ask for, or do anymore than that. 
You gave him your name. His smile only widened. 
“Nice to meet you. I hope we can be good friends.”
You stayed silent. There wasn’t much point in saying anything. Your nails bit into the skin around your thumbs until it was red and aching. 
Weeks passed and Tendou has resigned himself to a strange sort of routine with you. He’d say good morning, ask you about the homework, and make small comments during lecture which you assumed were attempts to get something out of you. Before lunch, he’d ask you if you wanted to sit with him. You’d decline, spend your break in the bathroom, come back to class, and the events from the morning would only repeat themselves with the addition of a polite farewell at dismissal as you two parted to different dormitories. 
It was uncomfortable, but you put up with it because--well, what else were you supposed to do?
Tendou was a bit peculiar to you, though. He put up facades of false friendliness just like the old kids from junior high used to do. But whenever you’d catch him in the hallways, he never seemed to walk in groups like they used to. You couldn’t speak for how it was during lunch, considering that you were never really there--but when you occasionally spotted his bright red head of hair bounding through the halls, he was always alone. 
You shrugged it off. To be fair, you didn’t see him often outside of class, so the conclusions you’d drawn were bound to be at least a little off. 
A couple of months went by. The routine didn’t change, and neither did you and Tendou. You were both the same individuals, and just as always, you weren’t planning on twisting any of fate’s strings. 
Tendou seemed to be different, though. He seemed to grow more and more curious of you as time passed. His questions became less vague and more frequent. He started voluntarily walking with you in the hallways whenever lunchtime rolled around. Thankfully, he never questioned it when you parted ways with him and walked in a direction that certainly didn’t lead to a cafeteria. 
Until his curiosity peaked, early in the morning before homeroom started. 
He greeted you, as always, and let you simmer in comfortable silence for a minute before he decided to prod at you. 
“Hey, [Name]. I never see you in the lunchroom. What’s that about?” 
You paused. No one ever really asked you about that before. You blinked once, then twice, and cleared your throat. 
“I don’t like going there.” You didn’t know where your sudden streak of honesty came from. Even Tendou seemed a bit shocked at your suddenly-informative response, and seemed to make the most of this unusual occurrence. 
“So, where do you go instead? Library?” 
“No.” 
“Then…?”
“Bathroom.” 
“...oh…? Why don’t you sit with me at lunch today?” 
Oh. The pattern came back. “No, thank you.” 
“C’mon! Just this once. I promise. And then you can come back if you want, but you don’t have to.” You retracted your previous statement. Usually Tendou would let you do your own thing after asking once, but this was different. Again. 
You took the time to consider his suggestion--again, something that was unfamiliar to you. Maybe just once. Just to analyze more of who he was and who his friends were--if he had any. You’d keep your expectations low, you promised yourself. (But a voice at the back of your head giggled in childish excitement at the prospect of maybe having an actual acquaintance.)
You agreed, and Tendou made an exclamation of victory that you couldn’t help but find a little endearing. 
When lunchtime rolled around, Tendou bounded to you and grabbed your wrist, pulling you along to the cafeteria (which you’d never seen before, so you couldn’t help but stare in mild awe at the grandeur of it). He’d asked you if you were buying lunch--you said no, as you never really had an appetite this time of day and he gave a playful frown, flicking you on the forehead and reminding you that you still had to eat and stay healthy. 
Since you hadn’t gone on line, he didn’t, either. You voiced your guilt and he shrugged, dragging you a long to a separate stand away from the main line and purchasing a few snacks for you to share. 
“I’ll pay you back tomorrow,” you told him. “You really don't have to get me anything, though.” 
“Nonsense!” Tendou exclaimed. “What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make sure you were well-fed?” 
Though the nature of his words were playful, you found a hint of something in his eyes and tone. Something that, despite your years of analyzing people’s body language and tone and words, you simply could not deduce that easily and put a label on. 
You paused. It was so foreign to you, but Tendou seemed almost… genuine. 
His smile became more soft rather than teasing, and he took the initiative to take hold of your wrist again and lead you to his table. Whereas you initially expected a large group of loud, coquettish boys you were met with a near-empty circular table occupied by two other boys. 
“Miracle Boy! Reon! This is the girl I told you about!” Your steps faltered for a minute--he’d told them about you? Maybe he was less genuine than you thought. 
‘Miracle Boy’ seemed like an amusing nickname, though, different from the ones you’d heard before. You couldn’t tell which boy had which name, though, leaving you in the dark as you and Tendou took a seat next to each other. 
One boy had dark brown hair while the other had a strange olive color. The former gave you a smile, like the one you’d seen Tendou give you just moments before. 
“I’m Reon. This is Ushijima.” He introduced him and his friend, and you found a wobbly, unfamiliar smile playing on your lips. “You’re [Name]? Tendou has told us abit about you.” 
You didn’t know how to take that, and your hesitation must’ve shown in your expression as Reon gave you a gentle chuckle and a dismissive wave of his hand. 
“All good things. Nothing to worry about.” 
With introductions and mild reassurance out of the way, casual conversation proceeded amongst the four of you--well, mainly among the three of them. You didn’t really find yourself inputting anything into the conversation too often, preferring to listen and nibble on the food Tendou had offered you, nodding along to whatever discussion they had. 
You realized that the way Tendou interacted with Reon and Ushijima, who you assumed were his close friends, was very similar to the way he interacted with you. It made you separate him from your initial interpretations of his character and hold him in a much better light, though still with a hesitation you simply couldn’t get rid of that easily. Reon was calm and very friendly, asking for your input at certain points in the conversation in what you saw as a genuine attempt to involve you in their group. He was observant, you thought, noticing his eyes glancing your way occasionally and taking in your body language before asking you certain questions and shooting kind smiles your way. Ushijima was quiet and seemed indifferent to your presence--which you appreciated. You’d rather have him indifferent than hateful or jeering, and you didn’t take it personally. He just seemed to have that sort of personality. 
By the end of lunch, you found yourself smiling and enjoying yourself. They didn’t seem like the same type of people you knew from junior high. It was a new experience, though not an unwelcome one, and you asked Tendou once you returned to class if you could join him again tomorrow. 
“Always, [Name]!” He shot you one of his blinding, playful grins and you couldn’t hold back the upwards drag of your lips. 
That day you found yourself reciprocating his farewell at dismissal, giving him a wave, a smile, and a nod before making your way back to the girl’s dorms. 
This was good, you thought. Very good. 
Another month passed by, and you developed a routine different than the previous. You’d say good morning, and ask how volleyball practice had been the day before (which you learned he attended early on in your newly-formed friendship). You and him would chat during lulls in class, passing notes occasionally if you felt the need to talk while the teacher was still droning on. When lunch came, he’d take gentle hold of your wrist and lead you to his table--or, on certain occasions, to his volleyball practice, where he made sure you were comfortable despite the intimidating-looking coach. At the end of the day, you’d say goodbye, with a promise to talk to him the next morning or after the weekend was over. 
It took you a while to get used to. But you certainly weren’t mad at it, and Tendou’s presence made it easier for you to adjust than you once thought it would be. You’d stuck to interacting with him only during school--which, in your defense, was what you thought most people did. The concept of meeting up with classmates off school grounds, actually leaving your dorms during the weekends rather than staying holed up in your room as your roommate went out and had her fun--it was even more alien than any other newly-adapted-to-concept had been for you. 
When he suggested exchanging phone numbers, you blinked owlishly at him before processing the fact that maybe that was something you should’ve done a long time ago and obliging to the task. When he asked you to go to the mall with him, Reon, and Ushijima, you repeated the dumbfounded gesture once again, before giving a halfhearted smile and nodding along. 
You were nervous, there was no doubt. But you sucked it up, put on a modest, but (somewhat) stylish outfit, and walked to the train station with your three friends. (It was almost amusing for you to see that number placed next to that word and used in a context referring to you--but you giggled in your room thinking about it and couldn’t find the strength to doubt yourself.) 
Tendou greeted you outside the girls’ dorms, and you felt nervous as he paused on his typical greeting to look you up and down. In the middle of wishing you’d grabbed an oversized sweater rather than the cropped jean jacket you chose, Tendou gave a bright, comforting smile, and laced his fingers with yours. 
“You’re pretty, [Name].” 
You couldn’t help but take apart that sentence as the two of you walked to the train station, Tendou’s endearing rambling becoming a consistent buzz at the back of your head. He stated it like it was fact. He was so sure in everything he said, and this time it was no different. There was no stopping the creeping grin appearing on your face, and Tendou seemed to take notice as his hand squeezed the slightest bit tighter around yours. 
To put it simply, the trip to the mall was fun. Reon gave you a gentle yet knowing look as you and Tendou approach with hands still interlocked, and you were sure you saw Ushijima crack a smile or two during the duration of your trip. Tendou didn’t leave your side--which you felt the slightest bit guilty about, but he managed to brush that internal guilt away wordlessly with simple smiles and his sheer presence. 
Though the four of you barely purchased anything other than food, Tendou made the effort to drag you into a children’s accessory shop while Reon and Ushijima went to order food for all of you. At your confused expression, he leaned down to your height, narrowed his eyes, and analyzed your face before bursting out into giddy giggles. 
“I think you should style your hair more often,” he’d told you. “I’ve been thinking about it, and I think these clips would look nice.” 
You left the store with a large, full bag in hand, filled with colorful, bright accessories that Tendou bought and made you promise to wear at least for the next week. It was a childish bargain, sure, but one you knew had deeper meaning than what was just spoken. There was something more in his eyes that you couldn’t hep but smile fondly at as you both left the store and faced Reon’s and Ushijima’s faintly amused expressions. 
Tendou had started off as an enigma to you. He was someone strange--someone you assumed to be the same type you seemed to constantly find yourself tied up in, only to flip that judgement on its head and become the exact opposite. 
The thing about enigmas is that they’re not good or bad--they’re just weird. They’re different, they’re confusing, they’re something new. It was the perfect way to describe Tendou, you thought. He took some getting used to. But he certainly wasn’t bad.
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Everyone. It's Ace.
I know I'm posting at 3 am. But this was one of my only free moments.
I'm not going to sugarcoat this, something really fucked up just happened to me.
So two months ago, when I got a job as a CSR at Domino's, I met someone. He was sweet, kind, and made me laugh every time I talked to him. Eventually we got close, and he asked me out, and I said yes.
My parents were somewhat adamant about me being out with him. We got in big trouble at one point because I was out late talking with him after work. It didn't help that I didn't get out of work until 2 am. My mom was calling him a pedophile, said that if he respected me he would've asked to meet my parents first, assumed we were out drinking and having sex, etc. Of course, I'm 19 and he's 21. So it wouldn't be illegal even IF we were doing that.
Then she had the audacity to tell me that my dad was contacting my general manager to find out my clock in and clock out times.
By law, HE CANNOT GIVE OUT THAT INFO. By law, THEY CANNOT ASK FOR THAT INFO. By law, THEY CANNOT HAVE ACCESS TO MY SCHEDULE. The only reason why they did have access was because my sister was registered as the email used for my application, and she sent the schedule to my dad.
BY LAW WHAT THEY DID WAS A FELONY. MY GENERAL MANAGER COULD'VE GOTTEN FIRED AND THROWN IN JAIL BECAUSE OF THEM.
I have never had the best relationship with my mom. But this kind of was the last straw.
I consulted my now boyfriend about all of the situation, and he agreed that I was not happy there, and with the advice of my fellow coworkers, I decided to leave.
My old phone, which was literally a $20 prepaid flip-phone that came from family dollar, which I didnt get until I started here, which wasnt even considered mine, which was a work phone only, and which I was not allowed to buy a personal phone myself, was taken away after the incident. So my boyfriend(gonna call him T) bought me an LG Rebel at Wal-Mart with service.
I wasn't even given access to my own paychecks. Half went to my savings, a quarter to my parents, and a quarter was my own. Even so, my parents had my own portion set into a savings account so I did not have access to it. I coukd ask for withdrawals, yes; but when you make $527 and you only get $20 at a time...well, anyone would get pissed. So, for the most part, I lived off of tips.
Shortly after I got my phone, a friend of T's contacted me. Essentially T told him everything I had gone through with my parents and he wasn't ok with it.
He and I kept in touch, and he urged me to leave while I could. After much pressuring I gave in, and decided to leave my house on September 30th.
Unfortunately, I started getting worried that my parents were catching on, and reported it to T and his friend. His friend, who was older and had a home and a job, said that I had to leave IMMEDIATELY, but I waited the next night to leave.
I moved in with three others: his original friend(calling him M), his other friend K, and N. N wasn't significant in this, by the way.
The next morning my dad contacted everyone at my work looking for me. T got a call from him and he said, all I can tell you is that I know where Ace is and they're safe. My general manager even threw me a bone and told my dad about how unhappy I was at home and how badly I wanted to leave.
T ended up coming over, and we hung out in the room I was staying in, which happened to be in M's room. Well, we were being intimate when M interrupted and kicked him out.
45 minutes later M critically hurt me.
I can't talk very much about it, because it's shameful and frankly, I don't even want to tell my own family, but all I can say is I nearly ended up in the hospital Friday because of the after effects.
Should I have been more careful, I would have noticed all of the warning signs. I would've gotten a weird feeling from all of the weird innuendos he sent me. I would've taken time to step back and asked him why he was so impatient to get me to leave. I would've been careful, especially after T mentioned him being into BDSM.
Because of the way I was raised, I was used to doing as I was told and putting others' happiness over my own. And I was scared of saying no.
Probably one thing that was stuck in my mind was, why couldn't I say no?
He did horrible things to me. He took photos and videos of me the whole time. He ripped one of my best pairs of pants. He yanked my hair a few times. He was rough with me. He marked me with his symbol a couple times. He encouraged me to say no if I didn't want to do something, yet a few times I said no, he kept going. I had to report everything about T to him. He ended up hurting me so bad that I was confined to the restroom with stabbing pains down there, pains so bad I thought I'd have to go to the hospital. At one point I told him I couldn't keep doing this, that I wanted to be with T, he began verbally tearing him up.
K ended up contacting T, saying that something was up. T contacted me and M separately, asking what was going on. M suggested just coming clean and me ending it with him, but I couldn't. M started texting me and began to blackmail me in a way, abd I decided that I couldn't do this. I had to get help. I privately called T at work and told him everything, that I was scared, and that I didn't feel safe anymore.
He immediately left work and headed over. Matt came in during the call so I had to hang up. He was demanding to know what I told him, and finally I gave in.
T showed up, and M had the audacity to blame me, saying that I willingly consented to it all, and that I was just playing him and T. He wouldn't have mentioned half of the things he did if I hadn't brought them up myself.
Afterwards T asked me where I wanted to be, and I told him I was scared to be here. So he took me to his house.
K called while T was driving, asking if we were gonna call the police. Apparently he had gone through M's phone and found the photos of me. He said he deleted them.
T's family took me in on Saturday. They all heard what happened and are letting me stay with him.
Unfortunately K is now blaming me for the whole incident. He heard M's side of the story and now believes that I am a slut and that I'm going to hurt T, and essentially never wants to see me again.
I'm safe now. I was originally going to quit Domino's and work at the same restaurant as M but now that is definitely not an option. I contacted my general manager and told him, and he gladly put me back on the schedule.
I'm ok now. But what is seriously fucking with my head is, I left one hell behind, and was so eager to leave that I didn't see another one waiting with open arms. He took advantage of my past and hurt me.
It'll take some time to move on from this, and I may not be on for a while. But hopefully I can continue the blog soon.
Thank you and have a good morning/afternoon/night.
23 notes · View notes
jamielea81 · 4 years
Text
Conversations
Chapter 2
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Description: You accompany your friends on a day trip to Animal Kingdom Theme Park where you meet Scott Evans by chance. This one afternoon leads to a year long friendship with both Chris and Scott over text messages and phone calls.
Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader
Warning: Cursing
A/N: Here is chapter two! Cast members are what Disney calls its employees. Italics are internal thoughts. Tag list is open, please send an ask if you would like to be added. Likes, comments, and reblogs are wonderful.
Chapter 1
When he added you on Twitter, that was strange enough. You could reason it out that he saw your name spread through the tagged post and he did it on a whim. Or maybe he followed a lot of people. But that one was easily debunked after a quick glance at his profile showed he only followed about three hundred people. Maybe he was just friendly in that way. A quick add here and you’d be unfollowed by Thanksgiving. There was no chance he actually liked you as a person. Right?
You hit reply before you could overthink it more than you already had.
Y/N: I’m not always grumpy, I’ll have you know.
Y/N: Are you guys still on vacation or back home?
When he didn’t immediately reply, you decided to put your phone away and actually go to sleep. You’d be bringing Jana coffee in the morning which meant you actually had to get up before noon.
Your alarm sounded at eight which it hadn’t done in at least a year. Since you worked mainly on assignment, you rarely went into the office until well past noon. Some days you didn’t even go in. You were a night owl, so unless there was a morning meeting you slept in. Living alone also brought less interruptions to your schedule. You’d been in your sleepy vacation style home for the last two years. Your father regularly lectured you on the importance of homeowner ship. Paying rent wasn’t doing anything to build equity. Blah. Blah. Blah. He was only looking out for your future, but between lectures about settling down and having a family, the house stuff pushed you over the top. You still weren’t sure where you wanted to end up, so buying wasn’t on the top of your priority list.
Florida really was a mixed bag. Between the retires that lived in Florida during the winter months, the tourists, the general crazies that you heard about on the national and local news each night, and those like yourself that were just trying to live your life, you never officially settled in. The ocean called to you, but the pricey lifestyle and fear of evacuating each year due to a hurricane did not. Being fifteen minutes from both the Disney and Universal parks would also be nice, but the traffic and long lines at Target were not appealing. You were currently living in a cute two-bedroom home fifteen minutes outside the parks bubble where life was a little more affordable and groceries weren’t inflated. It was still technically a vacation rental, but the owner liked the idea of having a long-term leaser. The fact that it had its own pool that you didn’t have to maintain was just an added bonus. Driving into Orlando wasn’t great, but at least you missed the bulk of rush hour by sleeping in.
You texted Jana to let her know you just pulled in to the parking lot. Balancing your laptop bag, oversized purse, and two coffees through a busy office rotunda wasn’t easy. Thank goodness for stylish flats. If you had to navigate in heels every day, you’d probably never get out of bed. God bless Jana. How she handled it, you had no idea.
The security desk knew you by name, but due to protocol, Jana actually had to sign you in. After exchanging a few good mornings, you set both cups on the desk and waited. Most of the time she was already in the lobby when you walked through the double doors. No doubt this was a form of punishment for not telling her about meeting the two boys from Boston. Not that you looked that up or anything. You totally didn’t Google anything that night when you got home. And she calls you the brat. Ten minutes later her smiling face walks out of the elevator and up to the security desk. She signs you in while you stare her down.
“Let’s go pokey,” she says before turning away from you, leaving you to carry your bags and both of your coffees.
You huff but manage anyway, making it to the waiting elevator she holds open with her hand.
“Did you know Phil’s wife just had another baby?” She shakes her head no. “Yeah, it’s their third. These are things I wouldn’t know if you didn’t take your sweet time signing me in. Coffee’s cold by the way,” you add for good measure.
“I already had some, that’s fine,” she said, one eyebrow pointed daring you to complain.
When the elevator stops on the twelfth floor, Jana gracefully exits on three inch heels, swaying her hips in the tight and posh pencil skirt with matching blazer. You get it. It’s a well-established law firm full of sharks all trying to get ahead. She exudes confidence. There are whispers of her making partner in the next year. At least that’s what Brooks has told you. Jana’s mum on the subject, not wanting to jinx or tempt fate or whatever.
You drop her coffee in the trash bin just outside the elevator doors and hurry after.
“Y/N! Nice to see you gracing us with your presence.”
Jana turns around to see Ethan’s predatory stare. You don’t mind it. Ethan’s a sheep in wolf’s clothing and has been coming on to you for the better part of a year. He’s good looking with his sandy brown hair coiffed in the front and bright green eyes. He’s up for partner as well. You know this because he tells you this at least once a week. He’s harmless and always has a kind word for you.
“Well, good morning to you too. Any word on getting partner yet?” you practically whisper. You have to give him something.
“Soon. It’ll happen.” He looks behind you and then meets your eyes again. “Here by yourself? Come to see me?” he asked.
You gesture behind him. “Nope. Just here to see my bestie.” You move past him, but turn your head to him as you do. “Have a good day, Ethan,” you reply.
Jana enters her office and closes the door after you enter. You take a seat in front of her desk as she walks around to sit behind it.
“Are you ever going to throw him a bone? Not that I want to see you with him, but it’s hard to watch sometimes,” she says picking up her phone, fingers moving quickly before setting it back down.
“Am I here to talk about Ethan? I thought I was here to beg for your forgiveness and tell you what happened,” you asked.
“Grovel first. Ethan next week,” Jana says with a smile. She taps her desk in a ‘speak now’ fashion.
Taking a quick sip of your coffee before setting it on her desk, you take a deep breath and lick your lips.
“Okay, so I found a table at Nomad, which was packed by the way. The sever was apparently pulling double duty as Mickey as she just never showed up. You know me, I was impatient and probably drew attention to myself with excessive eyerolls or whatever.”
Jana mouths “no way.”
“Anyway. Scott Evans was sitting at a couch across the aisle from my table. I didn’t know it was him until later. Apparently, I caught his attention, so he bought us both a drink and sat at my table. We chatted for a while, did a shot, no big deal.” You smirk and shrug a shoulder. Jana’s mouth is hanging open. “He somehow drags me to Everest and because they had a cast member with them, we got ushered right to the front of the line where I end up sitting next to Chris. That’s when I knew who I was with. Had no idea before that because I hadn’t talked to Chris at the bar. I thought that was the end of it until you mentioned the photo of me last night. I still hate that ride by the way.”
You down the rest of your coffee because it’s cold, but damnit if you don’t need the caffeine.
“Well, fuck. Who would ever see that coming? It’s a fun story you can tell at parties or I don’t know, to your best friend,” she said.
“Oh, I planned to tell Brooks at work,” you said with a grin.
“Wow. I’m really hurt,” Jana said while clutching her chest.
“You love me.”
“Hmph. Maybe,” Jana added.
You don’t check your Twitter account again until you get home from work. You don’t even want to utter the word Twitter or have it on your screen in case someone sees it and starts asking how you were able to sit next to a celebrity on a ride. You didn’t think anyone would have seen it anyway. No one outwardly admitted to being a die-hard Chris Evans fan at the Sentinel. At least not in the circles you ran in.
Grabbing yourself a beer from the fridge, you made your way onto your lanai. The weather had just started to become reasonable at night with temps dropping into the mid seventies after dark. Still warm, but comfortable.
Opening your Twitter app, you did indeed have a message from Scott.
Scott: I’m pretty sure you’re always sassy.
Scott: Nope, in Boston for the next week. Left the other night.
Y/N: I Hope you all had a good trip.
I mean really, what do you say to someone you just met?
You took the time to go through your follow requests, deleting every one of them as you had no idea who they were. Most likely they were only adding your because they saw that you were tagged in the picture. On the positive, Jana was smart enough to tag your personal account rather than your work account. Your personal account was one you made up in college and did not include your actual name. As hard as it is to keep your anonymity in this day and age, some things you could still keep private.
Your mail notification lit up on the app again so you clicked into.
Scott: Oh my god she’s alive. That was like a full day for you to respond to me.
Oh boy.
Y/N: Sorry. I’m trying to lay low after my Twitter kind of blew up.
Scott: Yeah, sorry about that. Didn’t see that coming.
Y/N: Not like you released the picture. If anyone is to blame, it’s the tequila.
Scott: It’s always the tequila.
 Your new formed friendship continued like that. The two of you messaging each other at odd times of the day and taking several hours to respond to one another. Scott was back in LA, putting a three hour time difference between the two of you. It wasn’t uncommon for you to wake up to see you had a message that came in at three in the morning.
It was just before midnight when you noticed you had a message from Scott.
Scott: It’s been a shit day.
It was only sent about twenty minutes earlier, which was pretty much a record for the two of you in seeing the other’s messages.
Y/N: Do you want to call me?
Crap! Why did I type that? He probably doesn’t want me to have his number. Twitter is one thing. A telephone number is too personal.
You wanted to close the app and get ready for bed, but you were worried that you’d miss a message from Scott in case he did want to talk. Not necessarily on the phone, but in direct messages. You did the only thing that made since, you walked around your house with the phone in your hand and direct messages open. This was your life now. Apparently. If it ever got out that you spent thirty minutes with your phone in your hand while brushing your teeth, combing your hair, removing your makeup, changing into pajama shorts and a tee, and prepping the coffee maker for the morning, you’d blame it on lack of sleep and the neighbor’s dog. When you were about to call it quits and crawl into bed, a message came through.
Scott: What’s your number?
So, we’re doing this.
You replied back with your number and waited. Deciding to crawl into bed in case he didn’t actually call you tonight seemed like a wise choice. The air conditioning was blasting as it always was because you needed to sleep cold, so you pulled your warm flower comforter up to your elbows and waited for a call from your acquaintance that was maybe becoming a friend.
To your surprise your phone did ring with an out of state area code. Answering it on the second ring you heard him sigh when you answered with “Hello, this is Grumpy.”
“Really? I’m the grumpy one tonight, we both can’t be,” he whined out.
“Fine. Fine. Hello, this is Sassy,” you said.
“Better,” he muttered.
“You know, I’m just going to enter you as Grumpy in my phone contacts now,” you said.
“I expect nothing less. You’ll just have to wait to see what I’m adding you as.”
“Why? Are you making a return trip to Florida so soon?” you asked.
“Nah. Maybe Miami, but I’m good on Orlando for a while. Just don’t tell my brother that.”
“And here I was going to invite you to my wedding. One less mouth to feed,” you said, him chuckling at your response. “Was even going to let you get the steak.”
“Wait. Are you really getting married?” He sounded surprised which you weren’t sure how to take.
“Do I not seem the marrying type? I know this friendship is new, but dude.”
“No. No. No. Don’t start that. I just meant that you didn’t mention anyone while we chatted. Just that you were there with friends,” he explained.
“Single as a bird. Wait, that’s not right. Free as a bird?” you laughed out.
“Got it,” he chuckled. “When you do get married, I will be attending.”
“Perfect. You’re back on the short list for steak as your entrée. Now, tell my why you’re having a shit day,” you asked.
 Two weeks had passed with you and Scott exchanging short text conversations each day. You took to calling him before you went to bed once or twice a week if you had a funny story to tell him. Eleven at night your time seemed to be the right time to catch each other. Besides, it was nice to head to dreamland with a smile on your face because Scott always had a joke.
Jana picked up on your happier mood after a week.
“What’s going on with you? And don’t say it’s nothing,” she demanded.
Picking up your pint of beer, you took a mouthful of the amber liquid before addressing her.
“So, don’t get mad.” She shook her head, resting one palm on her forehead. “Scott and I have been chatting. He’s become a real friend.”
You knew she wouldn’t be upset about you having a new friend, but you were worried she would be because you hadn’t told her right away. First you didn’t mention meeting the Evans brothers, now you were corresponding with one on the regular.
“Just like that? You meet the guy one time and now you’re friends?” she questioned.
“He DM’d me on Twitter when that ride photo came out and we just started chatting. It’s like how you and I text every day. It’s similar except I don’t see him because he doesn’t live here. It’s just nice to have a new friend,” you said shrugging your shoulders.
She laid her slender arms on the table, resting her chin on her down facing palms. “Does this mean you are replacing me?” she says with her bottom lip jutting out.
“Of course not. Did you not catch that he doesn’t live here?” Some days you couldn’t help but be a huge smartass at the expense of your friends.
Her head slumped forward even more as she let of a groan.
“Babe. You know you’re my one and only. I lub you,” you said with your lips puckering out.
x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x
“Cah’mon, that’s it. Can you put the damn phone down for two minutes?” Chris asked.
Scott shushed him, placing his fingers in front of his lips, but eyes still locked on the phone screen in his other hand. “Give me a second,” he said.
Chris sighed and sat further back against the couch cushion in his living room. His wide stretched legs kicked out further in front of him, hitting the coffee table before pulling his feet back a bit. “Fuck. Ouch,” he muttered to himself.
Scott chuckled to himself as he typed out something before setting the phone on the cushion beside him. “Now, what do you need big brother?”
“I don’t need anything. You just seem to be more involved with your phone than the person your visiting,” he spits out, hand wildly gesturing in front of his chest.
Scott puffs out a laugh and shakes his head. He straightens up a bit and turns his phone face down. “Sorry. Truly. How’ve you been?” he asks.
“How’ve I been? Pfft. Really?” Chris asks.
Scott shakes his head in all seriousness.
“I’m fine. Just bored out of my fahckin’ mind, but fine.” Chris says, running a hand through his hair before brushing it back down. “Look, I know I said I wanted a break before starting up another project, but I just thought I’d have more goin’ on. Seems like everyone’s so busy all of a sudden. I can only get drinks with Frankie so many times before I want to check into rehab,” he said.
Scott laughed at his brother’s tantrum. “I get it. Wish I was around more. Maybe go back to Mass. Or go to Disney! M’sure I could get Y/N to meet you at Magic Kingdom,” he said.
Chris tilted his head to the side and raised an eyebrow. “Who?” he asked.
“Y/N,” Scott said matter-of-factly. When the confusion didn’t wipe off Chris’ face, he closed his eyes and shook his head. “Y/N! The woman that you sat next to on Everest. The one in the ride photo.”
Realization struck Chris. “Excuse me. I didn’t remember her name,” he said.
“Ouch. I’ll have to remember not to tell her that,” he said picking up his phone to see a new message from you.
“What do you mean?” Chris asked.
Scott set his phone back down, turning his body to face Chris head on. “Huh?”
“You said you wouldn’t tell her that I didn’t remember her name,” Chris said.
Scott shrugged one shoulder, lifting up one hand in the process before plopping it back on his knee. “Yeah?”
“Wait a minute. Are you still talkin’ to her? How?” Chris asked, eyebrows furrowed.
“That picture. She got tagged in it and I happened to see it. Messaged her on there and now we talk. She’s frickin’ hilarious.”
Scott grabbed his phone again, scrolling a bit before flashing the screen to Chris. It was a picture of you with a woman next to you who had one of the overly large lollipops in her hand. Your mouth is wide open and your pretending to bite the large candy right out of her hand while she laughs in the picture.
A small smile curls up on Chris’ face but he shakes it away immediately. “Dude, you don’t know her. Ever think she’s just nice to you because of who you are?”
Scott rolls his eyes. “First off punk, she’s not like that. She’s pretty private. She didn’t know who any of us were until after you said your name on the ride. Secondly, she didn’t even ask for a photo nor did she try to keep hanging out with us after riding Everest.” Chris rolled his eyes this time. “Thirdly, I contacted her, not the other way around. And lastly, she’s a friend now, so just deal with it.”
Scott was right. You hadn’t behaved like most others would have.
“Fine. Whatever,” Chris said. “You can be friends with whoever you like.”
“Thanks, dad,” Scott said lamely. “Anyway, like I said, she’s great. Her Twitter blew up after that picture. She did a good job of locking her account down and ignoring comments. It’s hard to be pictured with the likes of you.” Chris chuckled and shook his head. “Smart that her handle isn’t actually her name. Crappy that her friend tagged her, but at least she didn’t tag her work one. Like I said, she’s a pretty private person, so she didn’t like the attention.”
Chris nodded his head. “Yeah. Glad it wasn’t worse for her. Think I should apologize?”
It was Scott’s turn to be shocked. His head whipping back and forth a couple of times eyeing his brother. “Okaaay. Not your fault, but maybe don’t add her on Twitter. That’ll just draw more attention. If you’re serious, I’ll give you her number,” Scott said.
“You know what? Never mind. Just tell her sorry for me.” Chris slapped his hands down on his jean clad legs before getting up and walking into the kitchen.
“Too late,” Scott called out. “I just texted you her number. Do what you want.”
x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x
The Jonas Brothers’ concert was tomorrow night, so you were doing your best to get stuff done at the paper before heading home. You planned to sleep in extra late and get some errands done before heading to the venue. Your press pass got you into some reserved places at concerts, but it didn’t get you an interview. While you had been writing and covering entertainment for years, you were mostly known for theme park and tourism coverage in Florida. So, yes you could always land an interview with a Disney Parks or Universal Studios park executive, but other doors in entertainment weren’t flying open.
Grabbing your purse and zip file, you shut down your computer and pushed in your chair. Your phone dinged with a text message. It was probably Jana asking you to get her a t-shirt at the concert tomorrow. Fancy attorney or not, your friend loved a concert tee.
Once you arrived home, you put a frozen meal in the microwave and changed into a pair of sweats and a comfy t-shirt. Grabbing your phone out of your bag, you took a seat sat at your kitchen bar top to wait for your meal to be done. Opening your texts, you saw a new one from an unknown number.
Unknown Number: Hey Y/N, this is Chris. Scott gave me your number.
Unknown Number: Evans
Unknow Number: Should have typed that the first time. Just wanted to say I’m sorry that ride photo got out.
You dropped your phone out of your hand. It hit the quartz countertop hard which jolted you out of your daze.
“What?!” you yelled into your empty home.
It was crazy enough when Scott messaged you, but the fact that the two of you had drank together made this whole friendship make a tiny bit of sense. But Chris now? This was just not real. And it made you feel weird. On one hand it was nice that he reached out even though it wasn’t his fault at all. One the other hand, was this it? The one text and then you move on?
The microwave beeped at your harshly indicating your meal was done. Leaving your phone on the countertop, you moved to grab your food, picking up the hot plate with a potholder. You made your way into the living room, setting the potholder and plate on your lap. You picked up the remote for the TV, flipping through the channels and settling on The Golden Girls. Maybe a little Rose and Dorothy banter could settle your mind.
This was silly. You were going to text him back. Of course, you were going to text him back. You weren’t a rude person. This whole exchange didn’t have to mean anything. This would be a one and done conversation and to Chris you would go on being nothing more than Scott’s friend.
After scarfing down your cheese ravioli, you made your way back to the kitchen to clean up. You eyed the phone on the counter where you left it. You quickly scooped it up and plopped yourself back on the couch, opening Chris’ text again before you could change your mind.
Y/N: Thank you for reaching out, but that photo getting released was not your fault at all. I appreciate the gesture though.
You threw your head back against your couch cushion and groaned. Why am I responding like it’s a work e-mail?
You shot Jana a text to get your mind off of the message you just sent Chris.
Y/N: What size Jonas Brothers shirt am I picking up for you?
Your phone buzzed in your hand before you even had the chance to set it down, but it wasn’t Jana responding. Clicking the back arrow, you saw that Chris had responded.
Wait, he responded? Already? And at all?
Chris: I still feel bad that you were dragged into it.
Chris: Hope I’m not interrupting a Friday night out.
You chewed your bottom lip, trying to think of how to respond. Should you tell the truth that your life is pretty lame and you’re watching The Golden Girls? Did Scott talk about you to Chris? Maybe it was best not to lie.
Y/N: Just hanging out with my friends Dorothy, Blanche, and Rose.
Y/N: You’re actually saving me from another long drawn out story about Rose’s hometown of St. Olaf Minnesota.
Chris: I’m surprised your friend Blanche is home on a Friday night.
Y/N: Oh, you know Blanche? Is this going to become awkward?
Chris: 😂😂😂
Chapter 3
Tag list: @mustangshelby04 @bellaireland1981 @carolina-thiell @sullyosully @straightforwardly​ @torntaltos​ @denise1605​ @mcuclintasha​ @southerngracela​ @iam-cj @trynnabemultifandom​ @chrisevansforever-blog​ @kelbabyblue​ @broadwayandnetflix​ @kyjey​ @thevelvetseries​ @i-just-feel-like​ @daddieslittlefangirl​ @stankface​ @denisemarieangelina​ @im-not-an-armrest-im-short​ @whymalu​ @the-doctors-fallen-angel​ @mariswritingforfun​ @tessabb7​ @hista-girl​ @tanelle83​ @pinknerdpanda​ @allaboutthebooz​ @estillion14​ @panicfob​ @patzammit​ @heartislubbingdubbing​ @collinsstanharbour​ @twittytelly​ @thefandomzoneisdangerous​ @linki-locks11​ @mywinterwolf​ @ab-baybay​ @rda1989​ @impalaimages​ @jesseswartzwelder​ @rainbowkisses31​
481 notes · View notes
get-chazzed · 3 years
Note
When do you usually do most of your writing?
Pet peeves?
What is on your wishlist?
When do you usually do most of your writing?
I wake up very late because I have no self control and a really messed up sleeping schedule, so I do the writing from 1 pm onward, generally speaking. Then again, I have spent more than one day doing nothing but typing away on my keyboard for this account, so... Yeah. I'd like to say I do most of it during the daytime, but it depends: if a thread I like gets a reply at 2 am (which happens a lot because everyone seems to be living in the Americas?) you can bet I'll be typing a reply as soon as I get the notification (though I almost never post them right away, since I'm anxious about spelling, syntax and so on). It might be that I'm new to the scene and that I'm a situation in which I have little else to do, but I get really excited whenever I get a reply or an ask and will jump at the chance to start interacting with new people- which is sadly kind of hard because of how unpopular GX seems to be among the RPC. People have still been very nice to me and have been very open to testing out interactions, which I'm deeply grateful for. I am wagging my nonexistent tail of all of you, constantly. On a separate note, I do the fic writing after midnight. Always. And I hate it.
Pet peeves?
... Oof. Ok. I'll take my chance to say a bunch of things? Don't hate me for it, I don't mind any of these that much.
1) I kind of dislike writing in present tense, mostly because I find it unnatural, but I will when the other person does. I'm the opposite of picky- and it isn't necessarily a good thing.
2) Fancy formatting. It's one thing to use small text, that I don't mind one bit. But when fonts and random highlighted words are involved I get very confused? I know I use italics for emphasis and for things that are meant to be internal monologue that isn't narrated, but rather delivered by the muse himself- maybe that's annoying or distracting to someone? I bet someone out there has looked at a reply of mine and wanted to delete the post in my stead at some point.
3) Heavily edited icons. Again, icons or not, it technically doesn't make much of a difference. I personally have taken a liking to keeping my Manjoume icon folder open on my second screen- plus I'm Italian. Come on. Half my communication skills are non verbal I'm lying I suck at communicating in general. The edited icons, yes- a frame and coloured filter make icons look personal and I appreciate the work put into them, but when I can barely make out the expression I have to wonder what the point is. Aesthetics, I suppose, which is fine, of course.
4) Tumblr themes. Some themes don't allow for reblogs when you open posts on the op's blog. WHY. It's sort of annoying to have to fish for the post in order to reply to it.
5) Endless threads. Very few do this, but I think you should consider that people who are not involved in a given thread will have to scroll through it on their dashes before you reblog a thread without cropping it. That's all. I didn't know how to do it initially, but I asked and I was lucky enough to get an answer from a very kind person.
6) ... Grammar. Typos are fine and dandy. Sometimes they happen and you can't notice them because some words exist and thus are not highlighted by the spellchecker (which is on everyone's chrome, by the way). An example is 'fir' and 'for'. I can assure you there is no red squiggle under 'fir'. It's a tree, apparently. I had no clue. But yes, I am not from an English speaking country, so don't take this as like... a British dude coming up to you and bullying you because your English is bad. No. A misplaced comma is ok, I don't care. It becomes a problem when the sentences are hard to understand. That's it. (Note- if I write something that you think is an incomprehensible mess, tell me and I'll try my best to fix it.)
... I'm done. I am not angry at anyone who does any of these, believe me. Pet peeve number seven is a request. DM me for literally anything. If I do something wrong, tell me. I write a lot of extra tags to convey how I feel about what has been written and maybe it's unnecessary, but I do it so you can always know that I'm actively invested in the interaction. If I don't add tags it's solely because there is nothing to add. But if it's annoying, tell me and I'll stop immediately. That is all.
What is on your wishlist?
... This.
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How very unexpected, I know.
A bunch of other things, too: I have some Jojo prints in my cart on Etsy and I know I'll never get them (sad) and a bunch of videogames on Steam and the Nintendo e-shop (which I'll never buy or play- they look neat though). On Amazon I have the last few volumes of the DM manga and the GX series (Light and Darkness Dragon, my beloved). Also also any charm that has to do with Manjoume. I haven't found any I could buy, but I want 'em all. Literally break into my house if you find one. Ah! And the matching figures of Komaeda and Hinata from Danganronpa 2! (Big Danganronpa fan, bigger Komahina shipper- I've made a fucking animatic and I can't post it because the music is copyrighted ;) ) I also have a bunch of zines I'm waiting for- some I've bought and are about to be sent out and others have only posted interest checks. 2021 was the year in which I discovered that yes, I can commission people and buy zines and it doesn't need to a big event (except I'm not rich and need to be mindful with spending of course). ... I also really want the new Pokemon games. Like right now.
... If it turns out the question wasn't actually about like... material things, but rather what I want to do with my blog and muse in the future... Well, first of all pretend I said nothing. Second, I want to find an art style I can comfortably use to make more frequent illustrations for threads and asks. I was a big fan of ask blogs as a kid (I saw them through crust screenshots and reposts only, I didn't have a tumblr lol) and I always wanted to be that cool artist that makes cool art for a given cool character. Manjoume is the coolest of characters to me, so yeah.
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NUANCE
Edit 7 (7/12): I didn't realize I kept breaking the link when I was trying to come up with a good title lol my bad.
Last two titles: "I'm not your bass-slut anymore." (That didn't exactly fit the narrative.)
"Don't fuck your idols. :)"
Since everyone is talking about accountability, let me put it succinctly: I was 22, this was consensual for me, I was a "groupie" who knowingly emotionally cheated on my then-bf with Bassnectar for months, I broke it off & moved out because I expected more from the relationship than I ever got.
As one person on IG stated: I was just a groupie whose fantasy didn't go the way I wanted it to. Lol it's true, but that isn't the whole story.
I know it's easy to focus on how I was "old enough to know better" and the harmful choices that I made, but don't forget that Bassnectar actively pursued me even after finding out about my boyfriend -- I'm sure he wouldn't have had any problem finding a single girl to talk to instead, given his stature.
He offered me concert tickets, plane tickets, money to buy an apartment, he told me to email him as often as possible, he told me to keep everything a secret and to lie to my boyfriend over and over.
He tried to "save" me with controlling advice about eating, sleeping, not partying (ironic, considering that he is a DJ) not pursuing music journalism, not hanging out with any male friends whatsoever, where I "should" work. This was all before we ever met in person.
People don't realize how hard it is to say no to your idols, especially when they are CONSTANTLY offering gifts that I considered very extravagant at my age.
This wasn't a normal affair; I had absolutely nothing to offer Bassnectar but myself, yet he spoke to me like I was a star. He told me we could "go deep" and that he wanted to "mate" with me.
Of course my dumbass young-adult drug-addled mind is going to fall in love with the idea of him.
CONSENT IS NOT DEFINITIVE. I didn't consent to a relationship as two normal people sneaking around. I became a cheating asshole who was misled by a rich & famous liar. I never said what I did was right -- in fact, I made it very clear that I did something wrong, too.
I also said that my story is NOT as bad as the other accusers'. I absolutely do NOT think that I had it worse than anyone else. I think my story is important because it shows that his behavior wasn't limited to people underage.
Hopefully my candor denotes honesty and by admitting my faults in this situation, people can see that Bassnectar's emotional manipulation was real and calculated, and most certainly did not start or end with me.
Side note: Apparently Bassnectar DOES cuddle... I guess he just didn't want to cuddle me that night. Ouch! :)
Edit 6 (7/12): Too many typos to fix so I'm just leaving them now lol. Added detail.
Edit 5 (7/12): Just because I say I'm slutty and I like sluts, doesn't mean every girl/women who was involved with Bassnectar is a slut. I'm just owning that label to change MY narrative for MYSELF. I really don't think there's anything wrong with being slutty -- it's always the rest of the world that has a problem.
I wrote this stream-of-consciousness, so I wanted to mention that sometimes my statements that involve other women may seem brusque, but I'm on the women's side. I mean to convey disdain for the way Bassnectar treated us (as a secret "harem",) rather than jealousy or annoyance toward the women. I hope it comes off that way, but I don't know who is reading this and how some might interpret my words.
Edit 4 (7/10):
Removed names. A story mentioned in this post wasn’t true. Either just a lie (to make someone look bad,) or I don’t remember it properly ‘cause it’s been so long. If it was my fault: my bad. 
Edit 3 (7/7): 
FIXED SOME TYPOS! 
Edit 2 (7/7):
I like sluts. Stop making us feel bad for wanting love *and sex, too. 
Another thought: Bassnectar probably pursued a relationship with me because I had a boyfriend. Therefore, I would be more secretive and would have to take some of the responsibility and guilt in this situation, too. And that is true. I do feel guilty about the lying and sneaking. I think that it was inevitable that I would break up with my then-boyfriend, but it really wasn’t Bassnectar’s place to accelerate the break-up by giving me the impression that Bassnectar would be my boyfriend instead. This wasn’t friendly advice given to me by someone older, this was tactical. It makes me wonder if a lot of girls/women don’t want to come forward because they are afraid that the truth will come out about their own affairs? 
Don’t be afraid to tell your story because women-hating assholes try to dissect and expose your secrets in an attempt to discredit you! Bassnectar is the one who needs to be exposed for HIS indiscretions -- this is about what HE did wrong.  Edit 1 (7/7): 
- Bassnectar told me that he was coming to NYC and because we had an online relationship, I thought that he was coming to see me. My friend told me today that Gov Ball 2013 was the same weekend, so I think he may have actually been in NYC for that reason (I don’t think he was scheduled to play on the flyer,) but I was delusional about it.  - I removed the screenshot of his phone number from the post because I don’t want to violate any doxx rules. I am still willing to compare this phone number with other women/accusers to corroborate our stories. :)  - This is my story told from my perspective. I was an adult and I’m not posting this with the intent of legal action, or revenge (although I do admit that this relationship was devastating and heartbreaking for me.) I just want people to know what kind of person he is. - My story is not as harrowing as some of the other accusers’, but that doesn’t make it invalid. - Even now, reliving everything hurts me and I wish I could say that it was real, but now that I’m older I am wise enough to know that it was all lies. - I stand with the women who Bassnectar has hurt in similar, or worse, ways.  
----
My relationship was short-lived, but it was so eventful for me that I remember it clearly. I'm mentioning many minuscule details because I think that could help prove the validity of other victims' stories.
Writing in bullet points because it's easier for me to sort through the memories. I'm calling him Bassnectar because the "Lorin" I was talking to is someone that I feel hurt and appalled by now.
• I don't have social media/email screenshots because I deactivated my Facebook and Twitter years ago. Bassnectar asked me specifically to delete our emails because his "girlfriend had caught him" and asked me to get rid of the evidence because she was "demolished." (I will go into a bit more detail about that later on.)  • I don’t have a “smoking gun” that skeptics are looking for, but that’s what happens when someone asks you to keep everything a secret and delete everything that shows you were communicating.
----
• This happened in 2013 over many months, plus Bassnectar texted me a few times about once a year after our "relationship" ended. • I was 22 at the time. I'm from NYC and frequently went to clubs, shows, events, and festivals with my then-boyfriend (who I lived with) & the same group of friends. • Bassnectar was one of our favorite artists and we'd seen him perform several times in several states. • My friends had a private Facebook group where we'd tell each other about shows and make arrangements to travel/meet up/stay over each other's places. • I was very interested in music journalism at the time and occasionally wrote show reviews for my friend's online music magazine. • I actively used Twitter. I basically tweeted at every DJ we liked, and always posted reply screenshots in our private Facebook group to share with my friends. • Things became complicated with my then-boyfriend, but we still lived together. We had recently gotten back together around the first time Bassnectar DM'd me on Twitter.
• Bassnectar responded to a Twitter pic I posted of our mini-fridge with a Bassnectar logo sticker and said that he "liked my fridge" or something. • I screenshotted this and posted it in my group because he was the biggest artist who had responded to me at that point. • I thought I could use this as an opportunity to interview him for my friend's mag. • After I already posted the screenshot in my group and had responded to his DM, he sent another message asking me not to screenshot him because he "hates that." • I deleted the screenshot from the friend Facebook group. I stopped screenshotting and sharing our conversations with my FB group immediately after he asked. • I continued to chat with Bassnectar via Twitter and said that I was a big fan of his merch and that I bought several things at all the shows I've attended. • I asked to interview him at some point in the conversation, and he skirted over the request.  • Instead, he gave me his email (bassnectar2012) and asked me to send him merchandise ideas. • I slapped together a few simple, quick ideas on Photoshop or something and sent them to him.
(I don’t know how to embed a picture on Tumblr lol -- will update.)  • You can see that the image I sent is no big deal, and all the files were similar, but he responded as if they were the greatest things he had ever seen. He definitely made me feel special and talented. • We emailed regularly and relatively frequently for days. • Emails are exchanged back-and-forth and eventually I asked to interview him again and he agreed. • I gave him my number and he called me. My then-boyfriend was aware that I was in contact with Bassnectar, with my original intention of interviewing him. • My then-bf was in the room when Bassnectar called me for the first time. • Bassnectar didn't want to be interviewed; he wanted to get to know me. I agreed to just chat at first. • He told me not to call him Bassnectar because that was his "band" and that I should call him Lorin. • At some point he asked if I had a boyfriend and I told him no, even though things were complicated with my then-bf and we were technically together.       > I know I'm going to be chastised for doing this, but I've learned years ago that I made a bad choice. Honestly, I still wanted an interview, and I am well-known for leading with my sexuality. This is when I started becoming deceitful with my then-partner. Simply put, I was just more enticed by the idea of advancing my career, and eventually the allure of potentially being Bassnectar's girlfriend, so lying seemed best. Just because I’m flawed, too, doesn’t mean Bassnectar did nothing wrong. 
• My then-bf confronted me about not saying that we were together. I felt guilty and the next time I spoke to Bassnectar, I confessed that I was back together with my then-boyfriend and I wasn't single. (I don't remember if it was via text or voice call.) • Bassnectar was upset that I lied, but continued to talk to me nonetheless through text and email.
• He made me feel like my writing was profound and touching, and that we were falling in love. • He would tell me that he wanted to "bring me the sun," or "get me a puppy." He said things that were romantic and poetic and I felt heartened to respond to what I thought was love. • He said he had $10,000 in his mattress and he wanted to get me an apartment in NYC, so I didn't have to live with my then-bf anymore. • He would text me before and sometimes immediately after he played shows then say he was going to sleep by like 12am (typically.) It was easy to keep up with where he was playing via social media.  • He offered to fly me to his show in Red Rocks so I could attend. (I didn't accept.)
• He called me from time-to-time and told me not to tell my then-bf who I was speaking to. • One day he had me call a different phone number, which he said was his "home phone." • He told me a story about a beautiful girl named (removed)? Who he had a falling out with because she mentioned that Bassnectar told her that he didn't like Steve Aoki. (I don't remember that story in detail -- I think he was telling me so I wouldn't tell other people when he talked about other artists.) > Edit (7/10): This person messaged me to say that’s not what actually what happened between them. • One day I was speaking to Bassnectar on the phone and didn't answer when my then-bf called on his way home from college classes (I always answered right away.) He asked who I was speaking to and I admitted "Lorin."
• When I called Bassnectar back, he became annoyed that I told the truth and said that I should tell my then-bf that I meant my girlfriend Lauren instead. • I began to sneak around more, lie more often about who I was speaking to on the phone, and texted or emailed Bassnectar almost every single day. • He said we should skip Camp Bisco 2013 and just spend time together. (Obviously anyone who attended Camp Bisco knows that didn't actually happen lol.) • He was flirtatious, charming, and always offered me tickets to events, or sometimes to fly me to where he was. I didn't accept any of this then.
• He told me that I shouldn't do any drugs, not even smoke weed. All of my friends were casually experimenting back then, and I was equally as candid as I am now about everything I did. He told me not to do drugs at his shows, or any shows, and especially not around guy friends. • Me and my friends traveled to see a show in Philly and stayed with friends. When I texted saying I was mostly with guys (my friend group was mostly guys at the time,) he asked if I "felt safe" and offered to get me a hotel. I thought it was unusual because I always felt very protected by my male friends. • He told me that I shouldn't hang out with guy friends, or have guy friends at all. • He told me that guy friends all wanted to sleep with me and I didn't realize it. • He told me I should eat healthier and exercise regularly -- it was very weird and controlling. He just didn’t want me to be myself.  • He told me that he had a girlfriend who had two abortions. I think because we were talking about relationships?  • He told me that he grew up in a hippie commune and was Christian and he questioned his priest and that his mom was a poet laureate. It just seemed like he wanted me to get to know him at the time. • He told me I was co-dependent with my boyfriend and that I needed to become independent and move out. • He told me I should make lists of my life goals as an independent person and email it to him. • He told me not to tell anyone about us talking. I told all of my girl friends, but it was a "girl code" situation and none of the guys or my then-bf knew what was going on. • We talked A LOT and often, but all of this only happened in a matter of months.
• Time passes and our emotional affair eventually becomes physically intimate when he says that he is going to fly to NYC. This is JUNE 2013! He played at Electric Zoo 2013, but that wasn't until Labor Day, so I'm not sure why he really needed to go to NYC, but it definitely wasn't for a show because me and my friends would have been there. > NOTE (7/7): My friend read this and mentioned that Gov Ball 2013 was the weekend before, so there is a good chance that Bassnectar was already in NYC for some reason and didn't actually come to see me personally like I was led to believe. lol.
• He alleged that he would see me again around Labor Day when he came back for EZoo, too.
• I am from Staten Island, and wasn't totally familiar with Manhattan's layout at the time, but I think that the hotel he was staying at was in Midtown. It's been 7 years since this happened, but I tried my damnedest today to figure out exactly which hotel it was -- there are soo many in that area alone.  • If Bassnectar says any of this isn't true, then he's lying because there will definitely be a plane ticket or something with his name on it to NYC in JUNE 2013. > NOTE (7/7): I thought he was there to see me specifically, so the dates he told me was staying in NYC are probably not 100% accurate, but there is definitely some proof somewhere on his end that he came to NYC for whatever reason. The lies he told me are just coverup to make me lose credibility if this ever came out. 
• He said he had a hotel for three days. I think it was a Mon-Wed? I took off work those days so I could see him everyday that he said he would be in NYC. If he has no record of checking into a hotel around the time I'm citing, then his manager probably did it for him. I believe his name is Carlos. (I'm going by the memory of what Bassnectar told me.)
• Bassnectar met me in person at the Staten Island Ferry (Manhattan side) and we walked to Battery Park and sat on a bench and talked. • I felt extremely shy and awkward because I knew that by meeting up in-person, I had given up with my now-ex. The whole thing was conflicting and unfair to so many people, but it was too late now. • Bassnectar frequently complimented me in person. He said things like, he was dying to smell my neck, that he loved my wrists because they were delicate like a bird's frame.  • He said that he felt self-conscious that he would be recognized because he's used to being recognized in crowds. • He would pet and caress me, but didn't try to kiss me in public. • He told me that he got his hair washed at a hair salon and he gave the hair dresser a ($50 or $100?) tip and looked in the window to see her reaction and she was crying because she was so happy.  • He convinced me to go back to his hotel. We took a cab there. It didn't take that long, which is why I'm convinced it was Midtown. He never told me which hotel it was, but I didn't realize it was actually because he didn't want a trail back to him. I guess it worked.
(I'm about to get very detailed about my memories, so trigger warning for making people feel uncomfortable.)
• When we got to his hotel, he became physical with me very quickly, but he said he wouldn't kiss me first. That I had to do it first. So I did. • It progressed into kissing, cuddling, him touching me all over in bed with our clothes on. He dirty-talked a lot. I also remember that he moaned and grunted a lot, and I wasn't used to any of that. • At one point, I untied his hair and let it down and he joked that I was making sure he was really Bassnectar and not his assistant that I was meeting. • He told me about his go-go dancer friend who had fake boobs. I can't remember why. • I remember him kissing me against the wall, and he said something like, I want to fuck you against the wall and hold you up with only my dick. It was way too specific to forget. (It didn't happen, though.) • We inevitably had full-on sex after the on/off touching/kissing/talking. • He said he didn't want to wear a condom at first, but he thought he should. We did, but it felt like a test to see what I would say. • I remember that he wanted me to have an orgasm, and I instructed him which position worked best for me. • He orgasmed by having sex with me from behind and asked me to look back at him. I remember him draping his long hair over my back. How could I forget that? -_- • One of my girl friends texted me ("How are you plants doing?" was our code phrase) to check in and make sure I was okay because she knew where I was. It was monumental for me, so I told her it was great. • I sat on his lap while he looked at his laptop. • We had these deep conversations about life, and love, and the future and it seemed so real to me at the time. • I remember that I told him I was unsure if we could be boyfriend/girlfriend because he was so much older than me (I think he was 35 at the time?) • He told me about about a girl he loved named X who was also around my age. I didn't think it was that weird because I was convinced he still really liked me best, but he probably had so many "Xs" and I was just another one. • At some point, he commented on Facebook (or Twitter?) in response to someone saying he was Illuminati. Honestly, it was like we were two people hanging out because of how normal everything felt after the sexual tension was gone. 
• I remember having dinner with him at the restaurant across the street and talking about wanting to be a writer and he said I CAN'T WRITE ABOUT HIM EVER. (So it wasn't normal after all.)
• I remember, back at the hotel, he asked me perverted questions like, can you show me how you make yourself orgasm? He asked me to just demonstrate on his hand so he knew what to do next time. • I don't remember much more because I wasn't planning to stay. • My other girl friend had a job interview that day and we decided to meet at the ferry to take it home together. • On my way out, he walked me to the elevator and he gave me $50 to take a cab to the ferry and to use for a cab when I came back to see him tomorrow. (For my fellow New Yorkers who doubt this story, no, that wasn't enough fare for both trips, so the amount is definitely the truth lol.)
• I went to see Bassnectar again the next day. When I asked him for the hotel address or name, he wouldn't give it to me directly. He said it was because of people stalking him or something. I don't fucking know but it was obvious confusing bullshit and I think he gave me an address that was about a block away. I think he even said he would tell the cab driver the address over the phone. There was a lot of runaround to avoid saying the exact address. (Now the reason why seems obvious.)  • My details are a bit fuzzy at this point because I remember meeting him outside the hotel and going up together, but I forget why we met outside and why we were both confused about which street the other person was standing on. • We went up to the hotel room, he worked on music on his laptop, while I sat on his lap and read Trainspotting on my Kindle. • He let me listen to what he was working on, but I don't remember it. I just remember that he was working with female vocals. • He told me he had to meet his guy friend in Williamsburg because his friend was making him lobster. Looking back, it was probably another girl.
• I asked to stay because I wanted to spend more time with him. I texted my now-ex-bf (who I still lived with) that I was staying with my friend. • Bassnectar said that normally he would say no, but for some reason he agreed and left me in the room with the room key and all his stuff. He either really trusted me, or really trusted how much control he had over me to leave me with his laptop. • I left at one point to get pizza, and came back. I watched TV, but couldn't sleep. He got back some hours later and he was drunk off wine, but I just wanted to cuddle and sleep. • He jokingly thanked me for not stealing his things. • Apparently Bassnectar DOESN'T cuddle and made that a point, but he did sleep in bed with me for a bit, before moving to the other bed in the middle of the night. (There were two beds in this hotel room.) • For anyone else who had sleepovers with Bassnectar, you know that he sleeps with his own fans for the white noise. So we slept in separate beds with his own personal fans on. It was all very bizarre. • We didn't have sex this day at all.
• The next morning I went to Duane Reade while he was still sleeping so I could get toiletries and shower since the sleepover was impromptu. • He had a meeting with someone (manager?) who was supposedly coming to stay in the room later that evening? (It was probably another girl though? idk)
• When he got back, he made me go over the list of accomplishments and goals he asked me to email to him. • He told me that I shouldn't be worried about finding someone to be in love with and it should be a lower priority on my list. • He told me that I should get a job at a restaurant or American Apparel or something and get a shitty starter apartment with only girls. • He said that finding an apartment that was pet-friendly shouldn't be a priority at all. I had a pet cat so if I moved out, that meant I would have to leave my cat behind, but that didn't matter to him. • He told me that if I wanted a serious boyfriend, I shouldn't let him see my legs or have sex with him for a long time. • When he finished life-coaching me, we watched a movie together. • He chose Spring Breakers because he was supposedly asked to do the musical score for it and turned it down (that's what he told me.) • At one point in the movie, Vanessa Hudgens jokingly gestures to her friends that she's giving a blowjob, and Bassnectar said he "didn't understand why girls sucked dick." • We had sex once more, more quickly than the first time and with much less romance. I can't remember much because I just remember feeling sad about leaving soon and like he was blowing me off suddenly. • We took a shower together after.
• I packed up my stuff and before I left he gave me $1000 in cash without warning and told me I could use it to help put a down payment for an apartment or something, but I should pay him back because it would be "good for me."    > Looking back, when he left for a short while that    morning, it was probably to take out cash to give    me when I left. • He didn't walk me to the elevator this time and he sat on his laptop while I left feeling very cheap, stupid, and crushed.
• Time passes and we talk less and less. I'm heartbroken, but still make moves to find a job and move out of my ex's ASAP. • I email Bassnectar a diatribe saying I'm feeling hurt and abandoned. I say that I felt betrayed that he made me think we were essentially going to be together after I left my boyfriend and it turned out to be all lies. • I'm having lunch with friends when he calls me and is angry saying that he told me what I should do to make my life better and that he can't just give me a job or do anything for me and that I need to do things for myself. • My friends walk over to the car where I'm on the phone and when I say I'm ready to go, he asks who I'm speaking to and I say, "my friends." • He yells at me and asks why I'm talking to him on the phone when my friends are around (he asked if he could call and I said it was okay, I didn't know we were supposed to be alone.) I tell him I will call him back. • I text him and ask to call back and his mood flipped and he's suddenly super kind and apologetic and tells me he just wants me to be independent. He reminds me that I'M the one who told HIM that he was too old for me and we can't be boyfriend and girlfriend. • I am heartbroken all over again, but I move on with my life and move out within the next month or so.
> I actually did get a waitressing job as per his suggestion and saved money from that + the grocery store I already worked at and moved to BK by August 2013. I didn't use the money he gave me at first because I thought it was a reason for us to see each other again, and I was afraid to spend it in case I couldn't earn enough to pay him back by the time I saw him. (I never saw him again, though.) > In case you're wondering, I did spend it eventually when I started to resent him for blowing me off.
• I speak to Bassnectar very rarely, and only via text. He doesn't call anymore, even when I ask. • One day while I'm at work, he sends me a video of a beach he's supposedly vacationing at. • When we DO speak, he asks for nudes, usually. • When I send them, he says he feels guilty since “he has a girlfriend” and that we should stop. • Contact is so infrequent, when we catch up about my life, he gets annoyed if I mention I'm seeing any guys, but I never think he really cares because he stopped caring about me a long time ago. (If he ever did at all.)
• I still tried for months to maintain any kind of relationship with him because I truly thought we had something special, but he was always too busy for me. It fucking sucked because he was always in the back of my mind now that I was *~independent~* like he said he wanted me to be so many times.
• One random day when I was too busy to chat with him, I remember he actually DID call me because he said he lost a sound file and wanted me to record myself saying "I really like it." A few times to use on a track. I guess I took too long to get back bc 15 mins later, he texted to say he got it from someone else. I couldn't do it anyway because I was dealing with some other personal stuff. I forgot about it soon after. • I didn't listen to the album NSVB for a long time after it came out bc I was still hurt, but when I did.... I heard that fucking sound bite in whatever song it's on (I really don't care to know) and it fucked me up. • I was conflicted thinking, shit, did I blow my last chance for "us" ? I was still hung up on this asshole as if he were just some ex because of that emotional manipulation. • Would that have solidified what we supposedly had? Or would that have just been another way he used me? I began to resent him.
• Fast forward a few months and I'm drunk with my girl friend at home and text Bassnectar for the lols. I say that I should ask him for tickets to BASSLIGHTS 2013 in VA to make up for him being such an asshole. • Surprisingly he agrees on the condition that I only go with girl friends, don't do any drugs, and say that the Tix are left for me because I interviewed him. (Don't forget that no interview ever happened!)
• Before Basslights, he texts me and even asks me what songs he should play and I don't realize he's just stringing me along. Presumably it was just another plot to hook up. • Before we leave for VA, my friend who is driving admits that one of her OTHER friends secretly knows Bassnectar so we might be able to get into some party or backstage. Sooooo I guess she was another one of his "harem" that he was having a secret relationship with. (I don't mean anything negative towards that girl/woman, just that Bassnectar probably saw us this way and was playing *at least* the two of us at this time.) • My friends and I drive from NYC to VA and miss Bassnectar's set the first night because we arrived late, but the Tix were waiting for me at the box office. • If you get Bassnectar's guest list for Basslights 2013, my real name is on there. I'm sure a lot of other girls he manipulated are on there, too. • Bassnectar texts me and asks what I think of the show and I say I missed it. • He says he was thinking of me a lot during the show. • He texts me saying I should let him "vroom vroom in my girl power." Obviously he's alluding to sex, and I show the text to the friend who was at my place when I asked him for the Tix. He won't send a cab to get me at my hotel when I say sure, though, because he "has a girlfriend" again and he would feel bad. Maybe he was annoyed that I missed his set, maybe he picked someone else, maybe he actually was with his gf? Whatever. • I told him I didn't feel comfortable texting like that anymore because he said he had a gf. • He tells me I'm a good person.
• I am so hurt that I don't answer his texts at all anymore. • We go to Basslights night 2 and I get suuuuper fucked up with my friends (because fuck him) and have an awesome time and disassociate Bassnectar from his controlling bullshit. • I ignore him all the way back to NYC and just text to say I'm home. • He sends me an URGENT text saying that his gf suddenly found out about his gross infidelity and begs me to please delete all of our emails and texts. • I'm stupid and kind and fucking over him so I do it. He knew I would because he knew I was too nice of a person not to. • Bye bye evidence, though. :(  I regret deleting those emails even now because I knew this misconduct shit would come out eventually with him.
• LOTS OF TIME PASSES. Now and again, Bassnectar would text me just to say what's up and I'd barely respond. This only happened approximately once a year. • I'm pretty sure this was just to make sure he was on my good side and there wasn't a chance that I was going to expose him. • I think the last time he texted me first was all the way back in 2016.
• The last few times we spoke were when he had a cancer scare and I texted to say sorry. • When I went to Moonrise Festival, I asked if we could meet and he blew me off. It's been so long, I didn't really expect him to say yes, but it was worth a try. • When me and my friends went to Electric Zoo and he closed, I texted him saying that we couldn't hear well from where we stood and left early. I think he was offended because he replied saying that no one else complained. • The last time I spoke to him, I knew he was playing at an event near me and asked for tickets again so I could see him and he said he would be with his girlfriend. It was a one-off thing and I thought it was worth the try. •There were no cordial conversations in-between the times I contacted him at all. Just me being lonely and single and still hanging on to this idyllic version of him that never fucking existed in the first place. 
• I'm much older now and I know that a lot of this happened because of choices I made, but I was 22, starstruck, in a confusing relationship, partying, and desperate for an ethereal love that I sought in that music scene.
• I bet Bassnectar specifically targeted girls like me because (at least in my case) I was depressed, pumped full of mind-altering chemicals, pretty, and lonely. He acted like I was a unique, artistic, lost soul and he made me believe that he was the only one who could save me.
• At 22, you don't realize that a man 13+ years older than you shouldn't be asking you to keep your conversations a secret from everyone, asking you for nudes, asking you to lie to/break up with your boyfriend, inviting you to hotels, offering you gifts, and straight up giving you cash that you didn't ask for.
• But that man DEFINITELY knows he's doing something wrong, otherwise he wouldn't be sharing that hush money with you, or asking you to hide and delete everything.
• Because he would text me once in a while saying something like, "You cross my mind all the time," it would be enough for me to hang on to this hope that *maybe* there was still a chance. I couldn't see that it was just another manipulation tactic that worked well on me because I was still feeling the effect of the emotional annihilation from so long ago. :(
• I loathe how he made me feel for so long and it breaks my heart to know that there are so many other girls who were taken advantage of in worse ways by this egotistical LIAR in his position of power. Seriously, Bassnectar, fuck you.
ALSO: not sure if this was his burner phone or what, but here are the last two digits of the # he always contacted me with (sent in the DM). If any other victims want to corroborate by comparing numbers... Let me know.
(I REMOVED THE SCREENSHOT OF THE PHONE NUMBER IN CASE IT VIOLATES ANY DOX RULES, BUT I CAN SEND IT TO YOU DIRECTLY IF YOU ARE CONTACT WITH ME!) :)
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ratfuck · 4 years
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Is it crack, ma'am? Is that what you do? Do you smoke crack? He was a positivity blog who's last post was about how much his mental state had taken a dive! That's your fault! In your post (hey, I wonder why it was fucking deleted, hmm?) You only quote jokes by him as proof that he's a pedo.
since your response is to ask me if I smoke crack while you singlehandedly express you have no fucking literacy in regards to what I have posted,
It doesn't matter if it's a positivity blog, that makes things worse. Time and time again he has shown that he doesn't appear to actually care about important topics unless he can gain clout from it. He constantly trivializes and infantisize civil rights groups like Black Lives Matter. His support for trans people or any other marginalized group at severe risk goes nowhere outside of posting a photo made in microsoft paint of his goldfish png pasted in front of a pride flag. Whenever he screws up, like the time he offended lesbian woman by making them seem like violent men-hating ferals, he immediately starts cry typing until his fans start forking over money to patreon, make tribute art for him, and harass the people who call him out on his bullshit. There is a difference between actually showing support for marginalized people, and using marginalized people as a way to propel your own popularity by making yourself seem woke. Even if he does go by any pronoun, and says he's pan, you still shouldn't put yourself in front of other's voices if you have nothing to contribute besides trite made to make people clap for you.
His mental state did not take a dive, and he was no suicide threat. This behavior is consistent with other internet shitbags who generate sympathy when they're caught doing dumb, bad shit. He made one comment about having an intrusive thought after some weirdo made fun of him, and then left for a month while you people starved for content and attention from him. Except he didn't really leave, because he was making private posts for the people who pay him for "content" on Patreon.
I deleted my posts a few days after that worthless CreepshowArts youtube animator/rantsona made a 20 minute essay on me, instantly fucked up and misgendered me before immediately uploading a "corrected" version (I honestly do not buy that this was an accident, if someone's going to stare at my blog for 20 minutes they should be able to pick out "trans woman" in the fucking header, and the people telling me that it's my fault I got misgendered because of my blog theme are HUUUGE assholes). Almost instantly I got sent hate mail telling me to kill myself, calling me a tranny/trap/fag, anons writing graphic descriptions of raping me and killing me, and a 14 year old wrote a fantasy about me where they abducted me, tortured me for hours with a knife, then stab me to death. I have a perfectly good reason to have deleted my post, because I was being singled out as a trans woman while the other people who made the callouts didn't receive any of the type of harassment I received.
Yet again you dumb fucks cherry pick what you see and stick to it. You completely disregard the incident where his discord was moderated by hand-picked people who openly expressed how they think MAP is a sexuality, that talking with minors about sex is perfectly okay. You disregard that Fish, despite claiming how he hates pedophiles and never interacts with them, is still friends/mutuals with that Gaud fucker who was outed consuming similar pedo content and being a transphobe. You conveniently disregard that he followed accounts that posted loli content daily (even if it IS sfw sometimes, its pretty fucking concerning that an adult is following an account that posts drawings of little girls in swimsuits or lifting up their skirts in front of the viewer), an artist that openly states that their pedophilic shipping of Kid Icarus characters is their life (which they draw CONSTANTLY), an account that posted Spiderverse adult/minor shipping, and a Rick & Morty account that posted incestuous/pedophilic art of the characters engaged in a relationship. Of course, when that evidence IS brought up, you people just claim that he did that on accident. How do you know that? You say it's follow-for-follow, but why would a Japanese account that posts lolicon material that is speaking Japanese ONLY have any interest in some performative idiot who makes Gay Rightz posts as a goldfish? How come none of these accounts followed or liked, commented on, or retweeted Fish's tweets at all? Your failure to read into the stuff I posted, as well as the other information gathered by individuals isn't my fault.
Most importantly, how do you people see this shit and conclude that it's not problematic in the slightest? Some of the people defending him straight up are saying that it's okay if he consumes that content, because he's not ACTIVELY sexually abusing minors? The only evidence YOU have is second-hand, word-of-mouth BULLSHIT spewed by people who are actively biased towards him. You have NO screenshots to confirm that he followed these accounts on accident or purely out of an innocent follow-for-follow game. You have NO testimony from him or people he's been involved with that state he is this pure source of positivity and enrichment. You have NOTHING besides a collection of 13-17 year old who are clearly absorbed in his cult of personality, pedophiles jumping to the rescue for someone accused of consuming pedophilic materials, and edgy internet trolls who just want a chance to harass a trans woman for warning people of a manipulative, creepy fuck spouting the same, tired, uninformed, uneducated, sympathy baiting rhetoric over and over and over again hoping for me and the OTHER people who made these posts about him to delete so you can go back to your delusion that everything is alright.
Until you have actual, serious, damning proof that me and other people are entirely wrong, and that I'm some sort of sick twisted fuck doing this SOLELY to harm some nobody positivity blogger on some backwater social media site, YOU NEED TO SHUT THE FUCK UP.
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randomarcanatingz · 4 years
Text
the arcana characters as youtubers
nadia
always has her hair and makeup impeccably done for her videos and when she meets fans,,,no one has ever seen her look like less than an 11/10
makes videos on fashion trends and fashion history (think a less experimental safiya nygaard), ones where she gives advice to viewers who send in questions, and unboxing/review videos for beauty items and clothes
people always comment calling her “queen” which she thinks is sort of cute and “mom” which just confuses her (“for the last time--i appreciate all the kind words but i DO NOT HAVE ANY CHILDREN”) 
has never been demonetized once and doesn’t plan on it
whenever her videos are sponsored, she manages to sneak the sponsorship in smoothly, in a clever way
goes to vidcon but typically is too busy to stay the whole weekend 
wrote a book on self care and how to be independent and successful that became one of the best-selling youtuber books ever 
 isn’t a huge fan of collabs on her own channel, but appears occasionally on portia’s or asra’s 
does a yearly giveaway of high end jewelry and makeup for her subscribers, and holds a charity donation event for her birthday (like colleen ballinger’s childhood cancer one)   
seems to avoid scandals effortlessly, but actually works hard to stay out of drama 
asra
has absolutely no theme to his channel and just rolls with whatever video idea he can think of at the time
some examples include an instructional tarot reading video, a docuseries on the stigma against reptiles (featuring faust in every episode), a collab with nadia where they just drink tea and talk about current events, and him playing the weirdest children’s games he can find online
LOVES meeting fans and spends the whole weekend at vidcon, has like 7 meet and greets, and appears in every panel that will let him participate
his videos are low on editing and mostly just edited for length, but any special effects he does add in are not subtle at all (aka random sparkles and dramatic jump cuts) 
has been dubbed a “cinnamon roll” by his fans but he isn’t afraid to call out other creators if they say something problematic
 is very expressive and there are many reaction images and videos of him all over instagram and twitter
doesn’t usually make travel blogs but he does travel a lot, so most of his videos don’t have the same background
 all his merch is tye-dye and the best seller is a mug with a faust-shaped handle 
 follows a bunch of fan accounts for him on instagram
 tons of fans ship him with julian and while he’s not super into it, he finds the shitty instagram edits hilarious 
julian
the KING of clickbait titles but his fans don’t mind that much because it just parallels his dramatic personality 
“Staying in a Haunted Hotel???” (it’s not haunted, he just heard the people in the room beside him talking at midnight and thought it was ghosts), “I Solved the Jon-Benet Ramsey Case” (he didn’t, it’s just him discussing theories on it), “Proof the Government is Plotting Against Us” (no solid proof, just off the wall conspiracies that he explains confidently)
makes videos of him exploring supposedly haunted places, ones where he discusses unsolved crime cases and what he thinks really happened, and conspiracy theory videos
very active in the comments section; likes every nice comment he sees and replies to them with a winky face
 also very active on twitter and instagram, especially past midnight, and replies to tweets and dms from fans
sometimes collabs with asra for conspiracy videos which immediately leads to 20 fanmade compilations titled “julian annoying asra for 5 minutes straight”
is always sponsored by the weirdest, most random companies that have no relation to the kind of videos he makes at all
does 6 hour live streams where all he does is look at cursed images on reddit 
is determined to not let any of his subscriber’s discover that his birth name is ilya 
random haters have tried to cancel him multiple times but it Never Works he is literally immune to being cancelled 
portia
vlog QUEEN !!! her videos are mostly vlogs of her daily life, with a few scripted videos scattered here and there, usually involving pepi
contrary to her brother, her titles are very blunt and true to the content and are in all lowercase (“a day in my life”, “getting frustrated in my garden”, “buying my cat clothes online”)
 she tries to make her videos appeal to everyone, but 90% of her demographic is still teenage wannabe aesthetic vsco girls
 has never done a proper collab, but her vlogs always end up featuring nadia, julian, and some of the palace guards 
has a popular merch line that sells unique items like flower seeds, pet food bowls, and baking tools 
her favorite thing is seeing her fans’ reactions when she picks up one much taller and heavier than her for a picture at vidcon
fans all agree that she has bde 
sometimes makes so-called “family vlogs” where she hangs out with julian and mazelinka and calls them “the maz squad”
for april fool’s day, she posted a fake giveaway announcement video where she claimed she was giving pepi away to a fan
her twitter is mostly retweets of fanart and sweet messages from fans (and pictures of pepi, obviously)
muriel 
has the smallest subscriber count of the group but it's surprisingly high for someone who never wanted to be popular in the first place
his videos are very niche and are usually on topics like how to survive in the wilderness and how to raise chickens
many of his subscribers think his quiet personality and unique videos are all an act or persona and muriel does not understand why
he's only ever been to one (1) fan event/meet and greet and it was when he tagged along with asra to vidcon
despite his protests, asra always plugs muriel’s videos on his twitter, so they share many subscribers 
he doesn't really have any haters because those who actually watch his videos think he's super sweet and those who don't are too scared of his huge stature 
didn't want to include inanna in his videos initially, but caved after fans saw her in the background of one and demanded she make an appearance more often
fans (and asra) keep insisting he change his username to “the mountain man” but he heartily refuses 
does his own editing but also isn't great with technology so sometimes his videos are strangely edited and include parts he meant to edit out (but it's kinda endearing)
has never sold merch, never plans to, and ignores any requests to do so
lucio
listen i'm not comparing him to the paul brothers but you know …..
makes prank videos, makeup tutorials (but it's the same look just varied SLIGHTLY every time), and vlogs where he not so subtly flexes how rich he is
his merch is supposedly “the highest quality and extremely stylish” but that just means the prices are sky high and the quality is not that great 
goes to every convention he can and holds random meet ups because he craves attention 
isn't mean to his fans because he couldn't bear seeing his sub count go down, but will absolutely TEAR his haters to shreds and get their channel taken down somehow 
gets demonetized all the time and complains about it (as if he needs more money)
people are either a huge fan or they HATE him there is no in between
uses clickbait just as much as julian but people are less forgiving about it 
none of the other people in the gang really want to collab with him but julian did once, got tricked into eating a beetle, and refused to do it ever again 
king of scandals, tweets random controversial stuff and then deletes it
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