#if someones done this joke already i s2g

[skygemspeaks]

okay let's do this again, for the last time this season, and what a way to end it!

i like that nami got to be included in the walk to arlong park, it was really nice!

the banter between zoro and sanji is already quite funny. i like that sanji is just earnestly trying to be part of the crew, but zoro's being a little bit bitchy because he feels like his place as the first mate is being threatened. later on in the episode when sanji starts calling out his move names, and zoro makes fun of him for it...how much do you wanna bet that the reason zoro starts calling out his attack names because his thought process is like "oh no, the shitty cook is also calling out his attack names what if luffy starts liking him better than me because i don't do it?"

as someone with dental trauma, seeing arlong's teeth fall out one by one was horrifying, thank you very much. it was well done

the fights in this arc were well choreographed, and i'm actually really happy that they all finished by around halfway through the episode because then we got a good amount of time to wrap everything up

it was really sweet when nami went running up to tackle usopp and zoro in a hug. i did feel a bit bad for sanji, but ehh it's understandable. she's been sailing with usopp and zoro for a while now! those are her boys!!!! and she didn't think she'd ever be able to sail with them again! she barely even knows sanji at this point

the scene after the tower comes crashing down and the straw hats are all waiting to see if luffy made it is great. nami looks like her whole world is ending again, because first she lost her mother, and now she might have lost her captain. and then everyone's relief when they see luffy come out is palpable! sanji doesn't even try to hide his relief! he's become so emotionally invested in this crew already and he's known them for just a few days

sanji's smugness when zoro comes back for seconds was cute, and i love their banter afterwards!

koby and helmeppo standing up to garp when they disagree with his orders was a good scene, and i liked their conversation about it afterwards at the end of the episode. each marine's personal code of justice is a big theme in the anime, and i like that they establish it here, and that it's what impresses garp enough to make him want to train them personally

we finally got the luffy vs garp confrontation! it was a good way to see just how small luffy is in the grand scheme of things, that he wasn't able to hurt garp at all. when luffy starts laughing and garp drops him and starts laughing as well, it was a good tension break. i really really wish that we got at least one grandpa hug before garp left...i know it never happened in the manga, but i crave that grandfatherly affection for luffy. but i know neither of these two idiots are like that. ace better fucking hug luffy at least once next season i s2g.

when nami is talking to bellemere's grave, and nojiko shows up wearing bellemere's shirt.....🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

the final conversation with luffy and koby was adorable! i loved the hug! also, i really like that koby was the first one to show luffy his bounty. a great way of coming full circle to the beginning of the season when he's standing next to luffy, looking at the notice board in shells town and luffy asks where his face is

the scenes where people see luffy's bounty!!!! makino grinning in pride!! kaya already looking healthier without kuro's poison! Zeff posting luffy's poster on the employee of the month board!!!!!!!! alvida and buggy meeting!!!! (if they make alvida lose weight or recast her next season i'm gonna kill someone)

helmeppo finally admitted that koby was his friend!!!! their little fistbump!! i've really come to like koby over the course of this season, and it's been great seeing his character arc

the mihawk and shanks conversation was great! shanks making jokes about his missing arm was hilarious, i love how irreverent he is

the redhair pirates are all SO proud when they see luffy's poster!!! and shanks' big, goofy, proud grin when as he stares at the poster just made my heart melt.

merry finally gets to fly the straw hat jolly roger again, i'm so happy for her!! luffy's absolute uncontainable joy at the sight of it, like he can't believe his eyes, was absolutely perfect!

the cast-off ceremony was fantastic! i really like the effect they did where their younger selves spoke in the voices of their older selves.

i could be wrong, but i think i heard we are in that last scene as they sailed off? which, amazing!

FUCK YEAH THAT LAST SHOT OF SMOKER!!! i can't wait to see more of him next season!!!

#opla liveblog #opla spoilers #one piece #opla #monkey d luffy #monkey d garp #koby op #helmeppo #nami #sanji #roronoa zoro #usopp #red leg zeff #makino op #kaya op #white chase smoker #red hair shanks #dracule mihawk #nojiko #bellemere op

[ninewhiskers]

ok i'll bite. who is firestar

#wc #firestar #fireheart #warrior cats #warriors #if someones done this joke already i s2g

[59writes]

SEVENTEEN- REACTION: THEIR S/O GETS INJURED (PART 2)

(PART ONE)

part two of @honeyylin ‘s request!!! sorry it took so long honey ㅠㅠ

also check out honey’s acc!!! they’ve recently started writing fic so give em a visit!! <3

today’s photo theme is green green green green green green green green green green

(I didn’t proofread this I will when it’s not 5 am lol)

tw: food, injury

SEOKMIN

• *insert terrified screaming*

• yikes. this man. this poor fellow.

• he’s so worried about you!!!

• like. you’re fine. it’s not a big deal you just won’t be able to walk without crutches for a while

• but this man PHYSICALLY refuses to go to work

• Jihoon even comes to your apartment to beat Seokmin’s ass gently request he come to work cuz they kind of need him

• but no, because “y/n needs me more!!”

• please you’re fine. you can walk and you work from home already. you’ll live. You’ve been injured before.

• this goes in one ear and out the other!

• he will stay home and baby you and peek in your room every ten minutes like “hey are you ok???? do you need anything???”

• it’s kind of endearing

• the calls you keep getting from Seungcheol and Jihoon are not though because SOMEONE keeps forgetting to “call in sick” to work!!

• it’s just part of the whole shebang. he calms down eventually and gets over the anxiety of you getting even more hurt or struggling and goes back to the others

• but you bet your ass when he comes home at night you’re not going anywhere and he’s gonna baby you until he deems you all better

• also he definitely just likes babying you because he doesn’t declare you better until a week after the doctor does, “just to be safe!!!”

• he loves you very much and if anything we’re to happen to the love of his life he’d like. Evaporate on the spot

• 10/10 man right here

MINGYU

• ok so we know how clumsy this man is

• he technically knows how to take care of injuries

• also the injury was sort of maybe his fault ):

• he tripped over a damn rock and made you stumble too, falling and scraping up your leg

• and this poor man is apologizing faster than he raps

• you’re not badly hurt, and when the pain wears off you’re laughing

• and Mingyu’s all pouty lol

• and though you assure him that you’re ok and everyone trips up sometimes, he just wants to make it up to you

• he is also one of the other mfs who would make soup. him and Josh r gonna open a soup kitchen s2g

• but he’s also super cheesy and you wake up from a nap and see that Mingyu’s gone out and gotten flowers and made some nice food and made a little mini date in ur apartment

• and he just feels so bad !!!! please help this man

• once you joke that maybe you should get injured more often so you guys have more dates like this he finally really calms down

• but like I said, he’d know how to treat any injury

• maybe not well, and I’m sure this man’s instinctive response is “I will put a bandaid on it and move on with my life” but how focused he is when he is just wiping off dirt from your arm or leg or whatever and making you sit still while he gauzes it up is just really sweet he cares so much

MINGHAO

• this man does not know anything.

• I mean don’t get me wrong he’s incredibly smart and emotionally intelligent but also. there’s nothing in this man’s brain except for dastardly ideas

• and you nearly breaking your arm is not exactly a dastardly idea

• so he kinda just shuts down

• he wants to help !!! So bad !!!! but he can’t do anything !!!

• like he’s genuinely such a kind dude and always willing to help even if he teases about it and just always there

• and this is the one thing he can’t help with!!!

• so frustrated ):

• so he spends his time with you by lurking with a pout, ready for any request you had

• he definitely looks like a lost puppy ㅠㅠ

• maybe you act a little more helpless than usual so he can feel better about himself. just maybe

• seeing him brighten when you ask him to get the pasta from the top shelf or help with the laundry is completely worth getting hurt for!!

• eventually he cheers up and goes back to his normal and teasing ways

• and once you heal up he’s so glad he can hug you super tight again (:<

SEUNGKWAN

• Ah, Seungkwan.

• be prepared for lots of passive-aggressive scolding

• I mean when it first happens you can see the panic in this poor man’s eyes

• ok well technically you texted him about it but his reply was violently misspelled and he showed up at your house within 15 minutes

• tbh you should be scolding him because he definitely was speeding to get home that fast

• but he was scolding you!!!

• like wtf you’re already feeling shitty and then Seungkwan comes over and is acting like your mom

• but this man is emotionally mature!!!

• he notices how frustrated and snippy your replies get and calms down, hugging you tightly where you sit on the bathroom counter as he cleans you up

• complains about getting blood on his shirt tho the bastard

• but he definitely hangs out with you for the rest of the day and you catch up and eat ice cream while you lie around on the floor and it’s just. aju nice. (lol)

• he does his best to keep your mind off of any pain or struggling, and we all know this man is a master of distraction so it goes very well

• he’s a very home-y person and you always feel safe with him (:

VERNON

• his literal response is “well that’s not good”

• you fuckin call him like “hey sol I’m in urgent care kinda like. broke my arm” and he’s just like “Yeah that’s a problem”

• thank you Hansol “Sherlock” Chwe

• he is just. out of his element please this man will just stare at your cast or whatever with wide eyes like “yo you broke your arm” yes Vernon

• he’s kinda just fascinated ngl

• he lets you tell your story with wide eyes, beaming proudly when you said you didn’t cry

• he’s like “yeah that’s my partner (:< so cool and badass”

• he’s just very silly about it and doesn’t treat you any differently

• which is nice because you kinda hate people bringing attention to it cuz it’s annoying as shit already ):<

• and he’s already so helpful and willing to do chores or whatever so you don’t have to worry about carrying things or washing dishes or whatever cuz Vernon’s got it!!!

• plus it’s adorable how literally every night he’s just like “it’s so cool how you have a cast” like it’s the dumbest thing ever but he finds it so entertaining. like not even the fact you got hurt just like “holy shit like. it’s cement they basically cement your arm in place you have cement on your arm y/n you could knock someone out with that”

• he’s a cutie lol

CHAN

• ok contrary to popular belief I think he would handle it very well!!

• don’t get me wrong this man is PANICKING under the surface but like. he’s so calm about it on the outside??? hello????

• you call him during practice like “hey so I kinda got hurt I’m ok tho, at the doctor rn” and he’s just like “yes ok are you ok?!”

• little dude lol

• and even though you are, in fact, completely fine, he’s gotta worry smh it’s his job!!

• he comes home and listens to the story as he helps you change the bandages with the most gentle hands ))))):

• and being near you definitely helps calm him down

• he’s back to teasing and being goofy in no time

• this man also definitely knows some medical shit idk what makes me think that but he knows how to like. deal with an injury.

• he definitely is very medically aware idk man I feel like he listens to doctor speak cuz it’s cool and is like “oh yeah go ice that you don’t want it cramping up” whenever one of the other guys complains about something minor lol

• he’s very caring ): I love he sm (:

• he can be a little rat but he knows when to stop and be an ally and what an excellent ally he is!!!!!!!!!

I’m so sorry I’ve never done an after note like this before but seeing all the green and plants makes me think of this damn tweet and I can’t stop laughinh

“he has pollen allergy” I’m sobbing please

#x reader #kpop x reader #svt #svt x reader #seventeen #svt scenarios #svt reactions #dokeyom #Seokmin #mingyu #minghao #the8 #seungkwan #Vernon #hansol #Dino #lee Chan

[ddarker-dreams]

anon asked: OMG pls pls pls could you write a possessive yandere Diluc??? I'm sorry if this is generic...

[repost because someone mentioned this post wasn’t showing up in tags... tumblr i s2g...]

Diluc:

Diluc has seen the worst and best that humanity has to offer. Regrettably, the worst is what has made a lasting impression, darkness waiting to strike in every crevice. He’s always done his best to protect everyone. This is amplified to a new, unprecedented level when his obsession for you takes root.

There are plenty of threats to be wary of -- Diluc will reason -- but he starts actively looking for them in the wrong places. No longer is he concerned with just making sure you get home safe, unbothered by monsters. Now it starts to seep into your relationships. Innocent gestures are mistaken as malevolent, Diluc stepping in where it’s wholly unnecessary.

Compared to most yanderes, Diluc has commendable self-control. He won’t openly lash out to anyone that speaks to you in a friendly manner. That doesn’t mean he’s not upset about it, he’s just used to hiding his emotions, and has had lots of practice suppressing everything. So while others chat you up, romantic intentions or not, he’ll slink off to sulk.

Surprise surprise, it’s Kaeya who catches onto this hidden behavior before anyone else can. Kaeya actively exacerbates the situation, quite literally adding fuel to the fire, unaware of the monster he’s awakening in the process. To his credit, Kaeye’s intentions would be in good fun. Maybe for some lighthearted teasing to laugh about later over drinks with you and your friends. Instead, he released a burden onto your life.

Kaeya might let a friend or two into Diluc’s “crush” on you, planning to see how far they can push it. He’ll throw an arm around your shoulder, whisper inside jokes into your ear to make you giggle, offer to walk you home, etc. Diluc begins to excuse himself from the room when this happens to get a hold of his kindling fury. Diluc knows Kaeya is just trying to get a rise from him, that he’s giving him what he wants. But god, that twisting sensation in his stomach when Kaeya is the one touching you, getting that melodic laugh, and being the center of your attention... it’s unbearable.

Diluc feels like it’s such a shame. He’s a busy man, so being around the same areas as you is a rare treat, that’s now being tainted. Can he not have this single enjoyment in life? To make matters worse, he’s now hyper-aware of anyone possibly flirting with you. Diluc is growing paranoid that while he’s unsure of how to pursue you, someone else might come along and take you away.

While trying to provoke Diluc, Kaeya tends to be on the receiving end of some biting language. With an unimpressed expression and even tone, Diluc will tear into him for his obnoxious behavior, even if you express that you don’t mind. It’s remarkable he’s managed to control his darker urges for this long. Should Kaeya -- or anyone else for that matter -- not get the hint, Diluc lists some concealed threats.

He’ll start physically blocking anyone’s path to you, looming over almost like a bodyguard. Diluc’s presence is intimidating and effective in warding off people he finds irritating. He’ll act like he doesn’t know what you’re talking about if you mention how close he is, but there’s an almost indiscernible blush on his cheeks.

While you’re not paying attention, Diluc will motion to his weapon, scaring off anyone brave enough to come speak to you. When you turn around he’s back to wiping down glasses. If he needs to distract you, he’ll offer free drinks, not that he ever makes you pay anyway. The few times you do manage to convince him to let you pay for your own tab, the money is “mysteriously” sent back to your residence by mail.

Bonus Childe:

Childe is not held back by the same moral qualms that Diluc is. This, mixed with the extensive network of Fatui agents at his fingertips, makes for a horrific combination. It’s a disaster waiting to happen. Whether you’re aware of it or not, he’s already having people keep tabs on you. This includes people that you speak to as well. While the Fatui don’t entirely understand why they’re being asked to watch you, like hell they’re going to question a Harbinger on the bizarre orders.

You’ll be having a pleasant conversation with someone, only to feel a shadow looming over you. Then there’ll be an arm wrapped firmly around your shoulder. Childe would act dismissive of whoever you were speaking to, making up some excuse about why he needs your attention more and whisking you away. All the while looking back and giving the unfortunate individual a soul-shaking look.

He projects a lot into your conversations. Childe asks with a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes if you’re trying to make him jealous. “As much as I like you -- and trust me when I say I do -- you should be careful with that.”

Anyone who makes the mistake of flirting with you gets it far worse. Childe will judge them accordingly later when being filled in on your movements for the day, sitting and listening with an eerie calm as his agents detail the person’s description. There’s a myriad of ways the Fatui could make this person’s life a living hell. From the shackles of debt tightening, harassment, to even making them disappear entirely. It all depends on Childe’s mood that day.

Childe would actually find it interesting if the person has a Vision themselves. He views it as a challenge of sorts. Malice would be oozing out of him at the thought of proving his strength to you, that no one else could come close to the claim he has. To avoid any unwanted attention, Childe would wait to strike until the person is traveling alone, channeling his Delusion alongside his Vision. It’d be an awful sight.

When he talks to you next, you’ll notice he looks oddly content. If you’re brave enough to ask why this is, he’ll give some ominous answer, that leaves your body going cold. “Hm, I really need to know. Did you think that they were any match for me? That by batting your eyelashes all prettily, you’d convince them to get rid of me? Well, whatever the case, this should be proof I’m not going anywhere.”

Childe will mention that he even was kind enough to get you a gift. A Fatui agent will reach into their bag, giving him a piece of cloth, which he then pretends to you. You’ll likely be rendered sick by the sight. It’s a torn piece of their outfit, a testimony to Childe’s victory. He’ll tilt his head and playfully ask if you don’t like it, before taking his leave for the night.

If you ever plead with him to leave the people you interact with alone, he might look like he’s giving it some thought. Childe’s suggestion of how you could convince him to do this is equally unpleasant.

“You could always spend your time with me, that way this wouldn’t be an issue. Give it some real thought. I’m looking forward to hearing your answer.”

#if this doesnt fix it ill cry probably #yandere diluc x reader #diluc x reader #diluc genshin impact #diluc ragnvindr #diluc #childe x reader #childe #yandere childe x reader #tartaglia #tartaglia x reader #yandere #yandere x reader #my stuff #answered #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #Anonymous

[d20owlbear]

Could you tell us more about Aziraphale Swan and his Very Peculiar Neighbor if that’s ok? Thank you

Yeah of course!

So! This one started out as a joke (every damn time I s2g) and has gotten more... well it’s gotten more as time has gone on.

It’s a Twilight AU/fusion thing based off a discord post from @kai-art! Where Aziraphale is entirely unrelated to Bella Swan but has the same last name, moves up in a similarish timeline to Forks, and used to live in Phoenix, AZ. None of this is explained, of course.

There, by chance, he happens to meet one Anthony Crowley, who is a nearby mortician and drives off all the bio waste to Seattle (the nearest disposal... please know I’ve done so much research for this, holy shit, I’m pretty damn sure at this point I’ve done more research for this fanfic than Meyer ever did for Twilight and THEY DON”T HAVE FANGS??? OH MY GOD why?! anyway if anyone wants to see my math on exactly how much blood Twilight vampires need to consume, lmk! cause it’s an unholy amount my fucking god Meyer did you even do any math at all? Christ). 

The secondary goal of this fic is to fit as many romance anime tropes in there as possible, particularly shoujo tropes. So far we’ve got the toast in the mouth and being saved by a handsome stranger/pulled into his arms, and we’ve got around 3-4 kabedons planned, tripping during a particularly erotic slow sword fight, and a confession during a festival (this one autumn leaves rather than sakura, but still! the vibe is there but make it PNW).

I’m currently writing ch 3 and wanted to get a good padding of chapters before I started to release anything, but here’s an excerpt!

Aziraphale was moving. Out to the Pacific Northwest of America. Washington state, Forks to be specific. It was small and wooded and there was a lovely little home off on an acre of unfenced woodland, butting up against the back of some place called Fern Acres. He'd gone and picked somewhere wholly isolated, or at least as isolated as he could bear, and put-putted all the way from Arizona in his old, beat up pick-up truck his father had left him. The body of it had been a pretty buttercup yellow at some point he remembered fondly, but had sun-bleached to white in patches and spots like he'd spilled paint all over it. There was a certain sort of charm though, Aziraphale said to himself in order to avoid going to a place like an autobody shop, to have a car with more character than oneself. 

Moving interstate was always interesting, wasn't it? It made one a bit of a mystery, coming new into a small, wooded town. Maybe someone would even gossip about him. The very thought of it perked Aziraphale up during his arduous drive all the way up through California (stopping briefly in the famed Wine Country for the night in a lovely little B&B that doubled as a winery, picking up a rundlet of wines. He'd had his heart set on a butt simply to say he'd purchased a literal buttload, though he couldn't justify the expense, nor spare the room amongst things that wouldn't break the bottles).

Aziraphale drove and listened to the music on his staticky little cassette player in the car, a mix tape his father had made so long ago when he'd found out all the kids were doing it to give to their dates. He'd already been married to Aziraphale's mother, but it had been cute, and ever since, his father had used the massive tape deck to build the same playlist every few years to present on their anniversary and wore them into the ground playing them over and over in this old rust-bucket car… Aziraphale sighed and pulled over for a bit when his eyes grew too watery to see the road well enough to drive. Thinking of his parents always seemed to do that, though he hoped the young couple that had purchased his childhood home only half a month ago had that child they were aiming for and it grew up even half as loved as Aziraphale had been.

But! He dashed his sleeve over his face and turned the tape over, even though it wasn't at the end just yet, and set it to play in the middle of the first song on the other side. The passionate refrain of Queen lilted in the car and Aziraphale smiled, though it felt like more of a grimace, and started up the truck again to resume his drive. Queen wasn't his favorite band, but they were certainly up there. Freddie simply had a way with his voice, and how queer so many of the songs were made Aziraphale's heart glad. That and it reminded him of his parents laughing in the kitchen and dancing with spatula or ladle in hand as Aziraphale watched from the kitchen table where he did his homework to the strains of ooh you make me live now honey!

This was slightly all over the place, but if anyone’s interested in any of my research holes for this, my various griefs or Opinions™ about Twilight lore in relation to other vampire lores or want to know more about Crowley (who is clearly a vampire) or Aziraphale (who’s far more interesting than he thinks he is) please let me know! This is one of my more interesting wips I think, if only cause of my wide and varies Opinions™ about all the stuff I’ve had to look at.

See more wip names here if you’re interested and ask me about them!!

#wip meme #my writing #asked and answered #Anonymous

[meshkol]

Twitter Threads (or That One Time Tony Dialled It Up to Eleven)

Summary: Social media is hard and full of trolls, and Tony has poor impulse control.

Notes: I hate this so much. Less cracky than I wanted it, because I suck at writing humour. Fill K-3 for the Tony Stark Bingo 2019: Gossip Press. Unbeta'd as per usual. Any relation to existing twitter handles is entirely coincidental.

Warnings: Social Media, Twitter, Homophobic Language, Sexist Language, Ableist Language, Internet, Trolls, Protective Tony Stark, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Goes On A Rampage

No one can say that Tony’s ever had good impulse control, especially about people he loves.

@1234ideclareathumbwar posted: I donno what it is about dr strange but he must suck dick like a pro if hes got iron man whipped god knows theres nothing attractive about him except those dick suckin lips #drstrange #ironman #wtfisstarkthinking

 @100percentDONE-xxx replied: yeah its not like he can give a decent handjob ffs must me the lips or maybe hes just tight every1 knows stark loves a tight whole hes prolly cheating neway poor cripple

 @itsawrapandimreadytoparty replied: Probably just lays there and thinks about the wizard gods just to get that $$$...I’d think of England even for a nymphomaniac drug-addicted sugar daddy too, tbh.

 @BlessYouThor-ness replied: still can’t believe he chose strange over THOR like everyone can see the chemistry between them and tony is such a bottom he’d take thor’s cock so well fuck yes

 @they-did-the-thing777 replied: is it just me or does strange look like an alien maybe there’s no magic at all just aliens and he’s got a tentacle dick and stark just wants to mark off another box on his worlds-biggest-slut checklist #tonystarkispathetic

 @snowflakes_makeme_lol replied: hes just fkn ugly i s2g stark id spread 4 but strange??? that bitch be ugly asf n not worth gettin my dk wet prolly get aids

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: You guys are the pinnacle of our evolution and I am in awe of your genuine kindness and polite generosity (and grammar). Wow, I can’t believe Stephen Strange saved all of your jerkass lives TWICE for this shit and you know what? Everyone knows I’M the cocksucker in this relationship, dumbfucks.

 @kiki_blow_this_popsicle_stand replied: HOLY SHIT LMAO

“What are you doing?”

He doesn’t bother looking up from his tablet, backing away from that thread because he has no interest in seeing the replies, and hunting for the next war he can wage. “Destressing,” he replies gleefully, clicking on a thread that mentions Pepper. He can feel Rhodey behind him – and, what’s more, he can feel the disapproval seeping out of his pores too now that he’s peeking over Tony’s shoulder – but he’s on a roll, and fuck impulse control when he can sass and bitch on twitter. Some people just need to be removed from the genetic pool of the human race and not be allowed to procreate, honestly.

Somewhere in bumbfuck-nowhere, Fury is having a coronary and Stephen is rolling his eyes so hard they’re permanently lodged in his cranium.

@rudethatyoureallamatwink posted: Does anyone else think that Pepper Potts only got the job at Stark because she’s got awesome legs and a great twat and Tony Stark wanted to stick his dick in? #idfuckher #pepperpotts #starkindustries #idfuckhimtootbh #tonystark

 @MyNameIsGoFuckYourself replied: lol ur gross shes like 35 or smth but wvr u want crusty ol lose pussy u do u bro #oldchickgross #getbotox

 @shredderinmymetal3-14 replied: @MyNameIsGoFuckYourself lmao wtf?? He started fucking her when she was like twenty or something so she was still nice and tight back then. I mean I’d still fuck her right now cause she’s one hot cougar and I bet she’s learned a thing or two from the Slut Extraordinaire. And anyway, how tf do you know what her cunt’s like?? The only hole you’ve fucked is your mom.

 @queeen-bee-says-hi replied: Wow, you guys are pigs. Pepper Potts is a strong, independent, beautiful woman who is worth a thousand of all you, and your mothers would be ashamed of you all.

 @gags_are_the_best_fight_me_bitch replied: @queeen-bee-says-hi hey look theres the feminazi if you want i can replace that stick up your pussy with my dick you know you need it ill fuck you real good show you what a real mans like

 @truthisanillusion replied: I’ll fuck @queeen-bee-says-hi AND @OfficialPotts_CEO at the same time fucking feminazi cunts, god knows you bitches would be grateful for my prick in your gaping lesbian pussies

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: Wow. So. Uh.

1. That’s revolting and my AI just delivered the IPs of @gags_are_the_best_fight_me and @truthisanillusion to the authorities for premeditated violence, rape, and hate crimes. You’re welcome, and feel free to send a cash donation to the charity of your choice for my thoughtfulness. I’d recommend something for women’s or LGBTQ+ rights, and I’ll match it with a multiplier of 1000x.

2. @queeen-bee-says-hi, good for you, and I can see from your profile that you’re a student. Consider your crops watered and your schooling paid for, all the way to your twelfth PhD if you want it.

3. @OfficialPotts_CEO can and will murder you with her pinky nail. I’ve taken on Thanos and I’d rather go ten rounds with him than piss her off. THAT’S why she’s CEO, not because of her admittedly awesome legs.

4. I hate this hellsite. If I buy it, can I kill it?? Rhodey says “technically” so I’m gonna look into that now.

 @i_stan_one_legend_named_virginia_p_potts replied: IRON MANNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!! DEFEND THE QUEEN!!!!!!!!!!! #PEPPERPOTTS4PRESIDENT

 @iaminlovewithcapandimunashamed replied: lmfao incels be fkd when #ironman comes to town

 @truthisanillusion replied: Hey @YouKnowWhoIAm No one trusts you or likes you, you fake ass super “hero” taking it up the ass like a faggot stfu and die already, kthxbye

 @queeen-bee-says-hi replied: whAT OH MY GOD THAT IS NOT NECESSARY

 @OfficialPotts_CEO replied: Tony, stop picking fights and threatening to buy twitter or I’ll ground you. And just accept the gift, @queeen-bee-says-hi - after all, he’s already done it.

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: Shut up Pepper, you aren’t the boss of me.

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: And jokes on you @truthisanillusion because I’m already dead inside come at me bitch I’ll be the one in the multi-billion-dollar suit of armor surrounded by Avengers

 @OfficialPotts_CEO replied: Actually, I am. Don’t make me take away your toys. Or call @Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel. He’s on speed-dial, sweetheart, and he likes me better than you.

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: Rude.

 @Sorcerer_Surpreme_With_A_Scalpel replied: The last time you threatened someone, your house got blown up. Please refrain from egging on internet trolls or I’ll dump you for Rhodes for my own sanity.

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: ALSO RUDE.

“You know, I’m not even remotely bi-curious and I would totally tap that,” Rhodey says absently, though his lips are quirking into a smirk.

Tony rolls his eyes. “Hands off, you little shit, or I’ll tweet about that one time in MIT when you ate that—”

“Fuck you.”

“Been there, done that,” Tony quips cheerfully. “Not remotely bi-curious my ass—”

“You know what’s better than picking fights with twelve-year-olds on twitter? Kicking your ass right here. You come at me, Stank.”

Tony opens his mouth to reply but then gasps, already losing himself in another thread after sending a middle finger emoji into the last one.

@mwahahaha-666 posted: You guys can wax poetry about Tony Stark all you want, but screw that basic-ass rich boy - everyone knows Doctor Strange is the smokin’ hot one. #takemenow #mybodyisready #drstrange

 @ukulele_jedi_master replied: PREACH!!! stark may be loaded but stephen is the one that looks like a prada model giMME THAT MAGICAL DICK

 @xxx-foreverfit-xxx replied: Fuck both of you. I just wanna be a fly on the wall when they’re fucking each other...or better yet, DIRECT them on how to ruin each other #ironstrange #otp

 @highpercentageofuselessnessachieved replied: i wonder if he can clone himself like can u imagine?? being fucked from all ends by #drstrange cock?? what i wouldn’t give to be tony stark omfg i don’t even want the money just the hard dickin from that fine piece of ass

 @its_a_fact_that_captain_america_has_a_big_dick replied: He’s got Iron Man wrapped around his little finger so he must have the biggest dick and the know-how to use it properly. Yes pls and thank you very much, I’ll take that monster dick pronto.

 @TGBYHN_4_LYFE replied: dude i tell u what i would do what @xxx-foreverfit-xxx said: sit in the corner w a ridign crop in 9’’ stilettos rubbin myself while directing them 2 do what i want...make em touch n stroke n suck n bite n fuck each other til they cant walk anymore n then cuddle w them n stroke their hair

 @catcatcatcat-cat replied: I would give my college education, my life, my cow, and my internet access away for the rest of my life for a sex tape

 @xxx-foreverfit-xxx replied: @TGBYHN_4_LYFE omfg fuCK YES CAN YOU IMAGINE listening to them moan as they lost themselves in each oter, so fucking desperate to get off that they’re begging you to let them cum even as they try their hardest to obey, covered in precum and sweat and hot as fuck

 @bigfoot_is_nessie1987 replied: I s2g the amount of fanfiction I write about those two alone should have me committed but I literally can’t stop the two of them are so fucking hot together that it should be illegal god bless Iron Man and Dr Strange and their sexy, sexy chemistry and sexy, sexy bodies #killme

 @one-upon-a-time-in-asgard2 replied: They are the hottest couple in the history of the universe and so fucking pure I love them both so much also @bigfoot_is_nessie1987 I demand a link to your fics cuz I’m always looking for more ironstrange porn #otp #ironstrange

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: @Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel Hey, they think you have a big dick. Little do they know that they’re totally right and that you also have the added bonus of actually BEING a big dick too! #dontthreatentoleavemeforplatypus #orilltagyouinthirstposts #awesomethirstposts #stephenhasabigdick #andiloveit #goodshit

 @mwahahaha-666 replied: OH MY DUCKING GOD

 @its_a_fact_that_captain_america_has_a_big_dick replied: Well, I’d be mortified that Tony Stark is replying to this except Tony Stark is acTUALLY REPLYING TO THIS BLESS YOU IRON MAN

 @Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel replied: One of these days I’m going to murder you with your own bravado and not lose a night’s sleep over it. And fine, I won’t touch Rhodes...I’m sure Rogers is free anyway, and he’s always so polite when I visit.

 @bigfoot_is_nessie1987 replied: Please don’t read my fanfiction I will literally combust in embarrassment also I am dying over here in Copenhagen omfg

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: BRO CODE, DUDE. YOU’RE VIOLATING THE BRO CODE. I HATE YOU SO MUCH AND I WANT A DIVORCE.

 @catcatcatcat-cat replied: ...oh my god what does that mean you guys are MARRIED??!?! BLESS THE WIZARD GODS!!!!

 @Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel replied: Rhodes, I know you’re reading over his shoulder, so if you could please take away his phone now before he ends up on the cover of the Times...or breaks the internet. Again. Thank you in advance.

Tony reacts immediately, trying to make a break for it, but Rhodey’s already tackling him into the couch, a hundred and ninety pounds of lean muscle and pretty Class As. Tony hisses breathlessly, the wind knocked out of him, and he struggles valiantly to keep his hands on his tablet while Rhodey does his best to rip it away. He doesn’t have a very good position so he makes a hair-brained, split-second decision to throw his body weight to the side, making them both roll off the couch. Rhodey’s a jerk though, and manages to react fast enough so that Tony takes the brunt of the impact, and he can’t even help but groan in a mixture of mild pain and disappointment as he feels the tablet being removed from his lax fingers.

“Sucks to be you, Stank,” he says breathlessly, fingers flying over the keyboard, and Tony cranes his neck until he can read Rhodey’s reply (and on Tony’s fucking account what in the hell!):

@YouKnowWhoIAm replied: I think I broke your hot mess of a husband, Stephen. Come collect him before he murders me with his eyes or gets his hands on another electronic device. We’re in the lab.

Three seconds later, Stephen walks through a portal, looking oh-so-fucking-gorgeous in his battle robes, and wearing a scowl of irritation that bodes well for rough, mock-angry sex in the near future.

Tony grins unapologetically, and abandons the lure of social media in exchange for his pseudo husband.

It’s an easy choice.

Also read on ao3.

Feel free to prompt me things on my Bingo Card!

#tony stark #stephen strange #rhodey #james rhodes #pepper potts #ironstrange #social media #twitter #homophobic language #sexist language #ableist language #internet #trolls #protective tony stark #tony stark has a heart #tony goes on a rampage #rowan writes #tony stark bingo 2019 #tsb19 #this is utter shit

[stcllac]

muse intros part 2 yee yee

yejun roh

he’s basically just another one of my jin fcs so idk what to tell u fam

he has a pretty basic upbringing tbh ??? his parents are chill and work decent jobs and they were always fairly middle class ?? they didn’t stand out too much

they also come from gardeniaville aka where briar’s from so he grew up knowing her

except yejun made himself stand out bc he’s fuckin yejun and needs to be Stopped at all times

he knew from a young age that he was adorable and handsome and it kinda inflated his ego a bit and sure some people hated him for it but most people found it funny bc he wasn’t a dick about it he just made jokes and shit

he found himself doing some part time modelling when he was in high school, and he definitely enjoyed it and would have gone down just that route had it not been for an incident during his third modelling gig

basically he saw the outfit and was just “ooooh it’s pretty !! though i would’ve done this.....and this and this..........

the designer wasn’t offended tho and was just “you have a good eye boi maybe you should be a designer yourself

and the clouds parted and the light rained down and suddenly yejun knew exactly what he wanted to do in life

it actually wasn’t long before he rose to fame as both a designer and a model bc his confidence in his own abilities as well as his general appearance was through the roof sO

he now owns a brand simply named roh yejun, or rojun for short

he’s willing to work with just about anyone tho some people tend to avoid him bc he’s dramatic af which is valid tbh

like this is the guy who will make himself the star of his own fashion show and ensure that rose petals are falling down around him as he struts it down the runway i s2g

he has definitely shouted “THIS IS A GAY’S ONLY EVENT GO HOME” more than once

he knows that magic and all that jazz exists, but he believes that there’s always a science behind it, so he’s a certain brand of sceptic, like he needs to see it to believe it

potential connections & stuff !!

he’s probably worked with anyone famous sO mostly stuff with that tbh

portia galexia

alien princess !!

she’s from the planet lucaura which is a very magical planet that has a very strong connection with the stars and the various constellations in whatever galaxy they happen to be in

lucaura’s magic is very strong and a single (though well practiced) spell by the king or queen can send the entire planet into another galaxy, which is something they tend to do if their current position is threatened

this is how they ended up near earth, as the argenti had attempted to invade them and the royal family were having none of that, and so they spelled the planet to wherever the magic would take them, and thus they ended up close to earth. this was just over a year before the argenti stumbled upon earth themselves

the lucaurans are peaceful and diplomatic people, and so they sent their daughter portia down as a mediator in negotiations

they didn’t really have to try hard as earth as we know it has some strange and magical people, and so it wasn’t hard for her to be accepted, and portia was able to strike a deal where lucaura would protect earth in the case of danger and vice versa

portia is a very generous and kind individual, but can also be optimistically stubborn. if she thinks something can be fixed by her hand, she’ll make sure she does just that as soon as possible, and she can have a one track mind at times

she actually really likes it on earth and spends a lot of her time there. she initially lived near the space port downtown, but that became an infected zone pretty quickly, and so she lives in a skyscraper right by it

her parents made the decision to not tell the earthlings about their history with the argenti, a decision portia didn’t really agree with, but she trusts her judgement and instead focuses on ensuring the safety of the earthlings and the lucaurans

ever since she was young, she’s focused a lot on her magic, and so she has very strong powers that she gathers from the stars. they’re stronger at night for obvious reasons

her magic can be pretty op in terms of what she CAN do but there are definitely things that are generally forbidden in lucauran law, such as resurrection, murder, summoning the dead in any capacity, basically anything that is considered disrespectful is a big ‘no-no’

they don’t count killing argenti monsters as murder tho so go wild i guess

possible connections & stuff !!

if you’re a leader or hero of some kind, she’s probably at least met you once since she’s always trying to help and make connections

her attendant aka the sort of ?? official ?? who came down w/ her to earth bc those are the Rules yeet skeet

levi royce

an orphan boi

levi has absolutely no idea where he came from or who his real parents are or even what his birthday is but he’s roughly 18 so ??

he was left on the front steps of anna’s home when he was a wee bab and there was nothing to tie him to who tf he was so he didn’t have a name or birth certificate or aNYTHING

his name was given to him by one of the people who work there, and he was sORT OF adopted at that moment ?? but he lived in the orphanage bc his adoptive mother lived in the orphanage, and even then it was just this agreement that this child was the orphanage baby and he was everyone’s son

levi didn’t really question it until he was quite a bit older, about eight or nine, and they pretty much told him the truth bc he was pretty mature for his age and could take it

while he didn’t show it, it actually really affected him bc at least some of the other kids had a vague idea of where they’d come from, but not him apparently, he was a mystery

he refused to reveal how he felt to anyone tho bc he’d already made a name for himself as being the big brother to everyone in the orphanage, the one all the kids could rely on to be there with advice or a bedtime story, and he didn’t want to show weakness in front of them

while he’s a relatively calm person he goes into angry protective mode when the orphanage or the residents of it are threatened like he’s not playing he has a sword and he wILL use it

the day the argenti came, he’d had a really bad feeling, especially when the clouds starting coming in, and so he’d told the other kids to stay inside. sure enough, then came the argenti

he wasn’t able to save all of the kids tho as one of them went missing and he has no idea where they are, but he once again refuses to show his worry

he’s the type of guy who’s really soft around those he considers his family but can seem kinda distant to strangers, but that’s because he can be a bit distrustful at first

he absolutely sings the kids to sleep he has a heavenly voice

but he’s also kind of a dumbfuck with no sense of self preservation sometimes as well as being completely and utterly oblivious like jfc

possible connections & stuff !!

gimme more orphans like it doesn’t matter if they’re older or younger he’ll look after all of them ok

micah gilligan

speaking of dumbasses

micah is basically the epitome of a dumb teen he’s just ?? niCER THAN MOST I GUESS ??

he was (and still is tbh) the neighbourhood kid who would try stupid stunts and break his arms every month or so without giving a fuck like i s2g he’s immune to the pain to this point why is he like this

he lives in the cul-de-sac w/ the other kids there and grew up there from the time he was a wee bab so he ofc knows remy and thinks of him as his older brother of sorts

he’s super friendly and gets along with most people even tho he’s, as we’ve established, dUMB

his parents are just waiting until he graduates and he goes off to college

when the argenti first made themselves known he was just “WHAT” like everyone else, but after that, he was determined to get in contact with them

he didn’t meet an argenti, per say, but he met one of the monsters the argenti had made from a few nearby bushes. needless to say, it didn’t end all that well for him, and he had to be treated for burns, but at least he wasn’t dead

that hasn’t deterred him, though, and he’s determined to be of sOME use in the fight, and so he lets fighters come into his home while his parents are out and makes sure they’re fed and well-cared for, even lets them sleep upstairs if they need it

once he gets one of siwoo’s weapons in his hands he’s gonna be unstoppable tbh he’s gonna gO FOR IT

honestly it’ll be a miracle if he doesn’t end up killed

despite all of this, once he does figure out that someone is upset for whatever reason, he ensures that he pays attention to them and gives them whatever they need if he’s able to and is just there for them in general

too bad he’s an oblivious little shit half the time

possible connections & stuff !!

hi i need more cul-de-sac crew kids asap i want them All

any fighter around the suburbs that he could’ve helped !! he’s pretty friendly with all the people who have set up camp in their little enclosed area so !!

paige park

yall know my girl it’s been a while

she works for the agency that doesn’t have a proper name bc they’re that secretive that they’re just “the agency”

her parents were both agents who met while working there and badabing badaboom paige is conceived

paige’s father didn’t agree with the experiments the agency was doing in the science department, the ones where they were attempting to combine human dna with animal dna to make shapeshifting hybrids, and so he called them out on their bullshit and booked it once he was labelled as a traitor

what happened to him afterwards is officially unknown by most, but many speculate that he was assassinated

as a big ‘fuck you’ to the guy who tried to ruin their precious experiments, the agency decided that they would make test subjects out of paige’s mother and paige herself after she was born

the experiment on her mother, the one that was conducted barely a day after paige was born, was almost a success, but there were several factors that caused the project to fail, notably the fact that her mother was still recovering from giving birth and that the animal dna wasn’t large enough in quantity to overpower her genetics. she died on the operating table

paige ended up being part of an experiment along with a bunch of other infants, and it’s only then that the experiment was a success and the scientists realised that they would need to inject the dna and ensure its spread during the first few years of life, around a few weeks to five years old, though ideally around the three year mark

and thus, paige the platypus was created

she’s a stellar agent and is considered one of the best in the field, though this often means her workload is tough

most of her jobs prior to the invasion kept her close to the agency downtown, and while she’s still in the downtown area now, she has to stretch herself pretty thin sometimes

since she has platypus dna she can turn into a platypus, though the only ability she retains in her human form is electroreception, which basically means she can sense shit underwater

she’s sorta known as a big sister among the other animal agents bc of her personality, she’s very much the mum friend

she has no idea what happened to her parents and is pretty obedient when it comes to the agency

possible connections & stuff !!

i’ll always love me some more animal agents

even tho she’s focused on the argenti that doesn’t mean she can’t see other criminals in action, she’s more the tailing type tho sO she might stalk some shady people just :eyes emoji:

margaret corrs

she’s trying her best

maggie’s always been the responsible one out of her and her sister and that’s been the case since they were little

what she diDN’T expect was that she would end up becoming her sister’s legal guardian when their parents went missing under suspicious circumstances

her parents both worked for a well off family and her mother was a secretary and her father was a driver so they’re pretty much invisible workers ?? not that they’re unappreciated or anything it’s just that people tend to have conversations in front of them as if they aren’t there

aNYWAY one day they went to work but ended up not coming home which was of course sUPER concerning and so she went to the police to file the missing person’s report

long story short, she was to look after violet while the police did their investigation, but for a year and a half it was a constant string of no-shows and dead leads and shoddy police work and maggie was growing tired of it

she was already studying journalism so it wasn’t hard for her to become interested in investigative journalism and she used the skills she learned to start looking for hERSELF why her parents disappeared

the argenti attacked before she could get very far tho

and now that vi has gone missing she’s looking for her too and she’s stressed and feels terrible bc her entire family is gone why couldn’t i help them

she isn’t doing anything sUPER crazy yet, just looking around and asking questions, but the more time spent without any word from any of her family members the more determined she’s gonna be

she has literally nO time for the argenti fam she has a family to find and those dumbass aliens aren’t gonna stop her

she’s a pretty no-nonsense person and the mama bear will come out if you even tHINK of hurting anyone close to her i dare u

she can defend herself aDEQUATELY but not amazingly

potential connections & stuff !!

tbh she’s probably questioned anyone and everyone so !! anYONE TBH

castanea primus

succubus babie

except she’s not really a babie she’s just a Brat

after what happened to her parents back in the underland, castanea has always held a deep grudge against demons despite being one. as far as she’s concerned the only other demon she can trust is her older brother and everyone else can perish

that’s a major reason as to why when her brother moved away from the underland she was just “tAKE ME WITH YOU”, she really wanted out of there

some of her generalisations towards other demons have changed the way she sees herself, and so she doesn’t see herself as a good person in any capacity, so she doesn’t really try

upstanding citizen ?? what’s that ??

she’s not going around and doing crimes, but she just doesn’t care. she doesn’t care about school or how she’s going to get far in life. who needs to do that when you have the ability to charm someone into doing whatever you want them to ???

the daytime hours are when she acts the most human, going to school (most of the time) and spending most of her time with surface dwellers. her night time hours are usually spent at the club her brother works at, pestering him and anyone else who might come her way

tbh she can’t wait to be a hoe but only bc she wants to get stuff out of it

the argenti is something she tends to ignore for the most part, as in her opinion, her life on earth would likely just be cut short in some other way if they weren’t around, so why bother ??

very flippant about death as you can see, doesn’t really care if she lives or dies, but she isn’t about to tell anyone else that

she’s considered the ‘cool beauty’ type at school. beautiful, but hard for people to approach. she probably has a group of good friends but it’s unlikely that they know she’s a succubus

talks back to teachers with the most deadpan expression and calm voice

refuses to get Attached™

possible connections & stuff !!

fellow students !! her school friends !! even just people around the downtown area who know her !!

anyone she can get attached to, bc getting attached fUCKS HER UP

#( intros ) #i'll do 7 here and 7 in another post #just to balance that shit out yeet

[goforwardgreenwriter-blog]

The Worm Reads: Empire of Storms, Ch 34 - 37

Because Chapter 38 is a... doozy, today we’’ll be covering some extra chapters. My treat.

She was a liar, and a murderer, and a thief, and Aelin had a feeling she’d be called much worse by the end of this war.

Pfft, I’ve called her worse during these chapter reviews.

Securing this alliance was only part of it. The other part, the bigger part … was the message. Not to Morath. But to the world.

“I mean yeah innocent people might die but who cares I just want attention from the whole world because I’m so ~special~ lol!”

[Aelin] was not a rebel princess, shattering enemy castles and killing kings. She was a force of nature. She was a calamity and a commander of immortal warriors of legend.

No, you’re a selfish asshole who cares only about herself and throws tantrums whenever someone doesn’t immediately bow down to you. Also, love that final nail in the coffin to the original concept of t0g. May the first two books rest in peace.

Gavriel was still too busy staring after Aedion, who hadn’t so much as glanced at his father before fastening his shield and sword across his back, mounting a sorry-looking mare, and galloping for the watchtower.

I S2G SJM, leave Gav alone.

People were panicking in the streets as the dark force took shape on the horizon: massive ships with black sails, converging on the bay as if they were indeed carried on a preternatural wind.

See Alien you fuckin’ prick, innocent people live here!!! And you’re totally okay with them all dying if it means everyone knows what an uber powered snowflake you are you piece of shit!!!!!

Rowan’s hatchet gleaming while he hooked it at his side

Again, total nit pick, but.. why do both Lorcan and Rowboat use hatchets? I mean it’s totally okay, I love other kinds of weapons getting used other than swords, but they both have hatchets? Let’s get some battle axes, maces, and other cool weapons in here!

Aelin strode for them. “Anchor them to the mainmast and make sure there’s enough room for them to reach right … here.” She pointed to where she now stood in the heart of the deck. Enough space clear of everyone, enough space for her and Rowan to work.

I’d point out she doesn’t have authority here, Rolfe does because it’s on his ship, but I might as well talk to a wall. Alien is putting the iron there in order to steady herself while using her magic, FYI. She has so much snowflake power she literally needs restrains lmfao SJM you’re killing me.

[Aelin] flicked a glance toward either watchtower to see Dorian arrive—then Aedion’s golden hair racing up the outer spiral staircase to the enormous mounted harpoon at the top. Her heart strained for a moment as she flashed between now and a time when she’d seen Sam running up those same stairs— not to defend this town, but to wreck it.

I despise Alien but the callback here works pretty well. Whereas back then, Alien was wrecking this town, she is now defending it, even without Sam at her side which highlights how much has changed and how much she’s gone through since her previous visit here. I mean, she is also the reason this town is in danger, but regardless.

Lysandra jumps into the sea and transforms into a sea dragon. I’ve already complained about her OP shifting powers, but I’ll admit, this scene is pretty cool.

Lysandra dove, and she let them see the long, powerful body that broke the surface bit by bit as she plunged down, her jade scales gleaming like jewels in the blinding midday sun. See the legend straight from their prophecies: the Mycenians would only return when the sea dragons did. And so Aelin had ensured that one appeared right in their gods-damned harbor.

Like c’mon, that’s pretty bad ass. Lysandra is a cool character in spite of her shitty powers, and that’s really only the fault of SJM’s crappy magic system. We transition into Assdion’s POV.

Aedion chucked off the shield from his back and slammed into the seat before the giant iron harpoon, its length perhaps a hand taller than him, its head bigger than his own.

So like.... a harpoon cannon, essentially? Because those were invented in the late 19th century. Consistent world building who?

Well, at least [Aedion] now knew what secret form Lysandra had been working on. And why Aelin had insisted on getting inside Brannon’s temple. Not just to see the king, not just to reclaim the city for the Mycenians and Terrasen, but … for Lysandra to study the life-size, detailed carvings of those sea dragons. To become a living myth.

How does this make any sense?? So Lysandra can perfectly replicate the system, the anatomy, and the size and powers of a beast by looking at a drawing of it? The fuck??? She doesn’t even need to see it in real life?

Gonna pull from Animorphs again; the kids have to see the animal in real life and actually touch it to absorb its DNA. They can’t turn into animals they haven’t touched even if they know what they look like. This makes sense in a sci-fi fantasy setting. Lysandra’s shifting powers do not.

Lysandra had studied the carvings of the sea dragons at the temple, once Aelin had burned away the dirt on them. Her magic had filled in gaps the carvings didn’t show. Like the nostrils that picked apart each scent on the current, the ears that unraveled varying layers of sound.

HOW DOES MAGIC DO THAT??? We’ve received several hints magic is its own sentient being but it’s never explained or expanded upon?? Lysandra’s magic is only as old as her, how can it know all these details about a beast she’s never seen? SJM I’m not asking for an amazing magic system, I just want things to be consistent and make sense!

Next chapter!

Perched on the rail of the Sea Dragon, gripping the rope ladder flowing from the looming mast, Aelin savored the cooling spindrift that sprayed her face as the ship plowed through the waves.

Even though the sudden pirate and adventures on the seas element is... well, sudden, I’m all for it. Gimmie some awesome pirate battles!

Tightly grasping the rope, Aelin leaned out, the vibrant blue and white below passing in a swift blur. Not too fast, she’d told Rowan. Don’t waste your strength—you barely slept last night. He’d just leaned in to nip at her ear before sliding onto Gavriel’s bench to concentrate.

You’re in a battle. You’re sailing into almost certain death. Can you not be fucking horny for five seconds please I am b egging. Why couldn’t he have done something pure and sweet like a kiss on the cheek?? Why does everything have to be ~sexual~, SJM?

Aelin again looked ahead—toward those black sails blotting the horizon. The Wyrdkey at her chest murmured in response.

You know what? I’ll take this over “The Wyrdkey between her breasts” any day.

Alien puts on the iron chain to restrain her magic. Rowboat kisses her ass for a bit, then we get this.

“I’ve recovered, I’ll have you know. So this morning’s little display…” “A way to take off the power’s full edge,” [Aelin] said wryly. “And make Rolfe piss himself.”

I hate you.

[Aelin] lifted her head to study [Rowan’s] face, the harsh planes and the curving tattoo. He leaned in to brush a kiss to her mouth.

If Ratlin starts making out during this battle I am actually going to quit. No joke. I’m warning you, SJM.

All anyone on deck saw, she knew, was two lovers embracing. But Aelin tunneled down, down, down into her power, felt him doing the same with his, felt every ounce of ice and wind and lightning go slamming from him into her. And when it reached her, the core of his power yielded to her own, melted and became embers and wildfire.

The actual reason SJM didn’t make a magic system was so she could pull this and justify her OTP making out in the middle of a battlefield. You cannot convince me otherwise.

[Aelin’s] magic whispered to start digging through that ash and silt. But Rowan’s grip tightened on her waist. “Easy,” he murmured in her ear. “Easy.”

If this was a ship I actually liked I’d be living because I love the “loved one helps protag with their uncontrollable magic” thing, but I hate Rowboat and Alien. I can’t even win when SJM uses my favorite tropes.

Alien shits out a huge column of fire out after Rowboat lends her his magic.

Aelin was ripped from his arms with the force of it, and Rowan grabbed her hand in a crushing grip, refusing to let her break that line of contact. Men around them stumbled back, falling onto their asses as they gawked upward in terror and wonder.

Higher, that column of flame swirled, a maelstrom of death and life and rebirth.

Oh my god I get it, Alien is the most powerful snowflake ever

So apparently this fire shit isn’t even burning or attacking their enemies, it’s literally just a display to the world. So Alien is burning (no pun intended) all of her magic just for a pretty fire display for everyone to fear how ~special~ she is? Holy shit. People actually stan this shitstain.

The flames winked out at the same second [Aelin] reached into Rowan with burning hands and tore the last remnants of his power from him. Just as she ripped her hand from his. Just as her power and the Wyrdkey between her breasts merged.

JHNDSJKAHDSKAHDKAHDSAJ SJM STOP YOU FUCKING HORNY ASSHOLE I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD YOU CANNOT WRITE AN EPIC MOMENT OF YOUR PROTAG DISPLAYING HER MOST POWERFUL MAGIC AND THEN STOP TO FOCUS ON HER BOOBIES FOR NO REASON KAHFKHSKFHDSJKFHKSD

So apparently Alien gets possessed because she was wearing the Wyrdkey. Idiot, why’d you go and do that, then? So who is possessing her?

“Deanna,” Rowan whispered. [Possessed Aelin] flicked her eyes to him in question and confirmation.

So for those who didn’t know, Deanna is a goddess mentioned in some of the other books. So the gods have gone from actual gods that were briefly mentioned to spirits who can possess people.... huh.

We switch into Alien’s POV again as she is unable to do anything while Deanna struts around in her body.

And those flames—her flames and her beloved’s magic … they belonged to the Other now. To a goddess who had walked through the temporary gate hanging between her breasts and seized her body as if it were a mask to wear.

Okay, guys, can we be completely honest with each other here? Tumblr user to Tumblr user? Does this bother anyone else?

Am I over reacting? Because I find it completely undercuts the tension of the moment when I’m suddenly forced to picture a Wyrdkey jammed in between Alien’s boobies. IDK maybe I’m just going crazy after being exposed to this book.

Alien busts a nut after hearing Rowboat’s voice and it’s enough for her to gain the willpower and strength to kick Deanna out. Not enough for her to not immediately fuck everything up though.

The ship beneath her, the center and left flank of the dark fleet beyond her, and the outer edge of the island behind it blew apart in a storm of fire and ice.

God job, Alien! If any innocent people died it’s all on you. Fuck you.

My god. We’re only on chapter 36. I... I’m going to break.....

Aelin drifted down, as she had drifted into her power, the weight of the Wyrdkey around her neck like a millstone— Deanna. She didn’t know how, didn’t know why— The Queen Who Was Promised.

Hm.. that sounds familiar.... lemmie just Google it to see if-

INCH RESTING...

Didn’t SJM once claim she hated Game of Thrones? Lmfao she’s so full of shit.

What had she done what had she done what had she done—

Later. Later, [Aelin]’d deal with that rutting goddess who had thought to use her like some temple priestess. Later, she’d contemplate how she’d shred through every world to find Deanna and make her pay.

Okay, but.. is this just Alien fuming or can she, like, actually do that? What are the gods in this world? Are they just spirits who can teleport between worlds I’m?? so confused???

Fenrys takes Alien, since she’s such an idiot who couldn’t save herself from drowning in a puddle, and jumps from the remainders of Rolfe’s ship. Good fucking job, Alien. Can’t wait to see how the narrative justifies this.

Think of that later. Aelin shoved through and ducked under larger bits of debris, past… Past men. Rolfe’s men. Dead in the water. Was the captain among them somewhere?

She doesn’t even give a shit she killed dozens, maybe even more, of innocent people on her side! But I have no doubt she’ll angst about it later but only so Rowboat can fuck her and convince her it’s not her fault even though it fucking is.

While Alien is busy wailing for someone to comfort her poor feefees, Lysandra actually makes an effort to save Rolfe and his first mate even though the sea wyverns are an issue.

Blood laced the current. And not the puffs that had been staining the water since the ship exploded. Great, roiling clouds of blood. As if massive jaws clamped around a body and squeezed.

Ain’t that edgy. We all know SJM is gonna forget all this gore and death took place once the porn kicks in.

[Lysandra] was so tired. Shifting afterward might not even be possible for a few hours.

So amassing the power to shift into a huge ass dragon doesn’t tire you out.... but destroying a few ships with your dragon form. Okay, SJM, okay.

tl;dr Lysandra kills the two sea wyverns and the chapter ends. One more to go for this review... one more....

Assdion’s POV opens up this chapter, where it’s revealed the two sea wyverns Lysandra killed were just juveniles, and there are three adults.

Faster and faster, those three bulls closed in. Lysandra remained at the mouth of the bay. Holding the line.

Even though her magic pisses me off, I think I’m about to stan Lysandra. Here she is, weakened with no magic left, and she’s willing to make a final stand and protect her friends.

The three wyverns spread out, so huge Aedion’s throat went dry. And for the first time, he hated his cousin. He hated Aelin for asking this of Lysandra, both to defend them and to secure the Mycenians to fight for Terrasen.

WHAT THE FUCK??? ASSDION NOT PRAISING ALIEN’S EVERY ACTION???? This can’t be right. This can’t be the Assdion who is only a plot device to kiss Alien’s ass...

Lysandra destroys the last warship and traps one of the wyverns into impaling himself on the remains. Then she leads the other two near Dorian’s tower, where he freezes one of them.

Dorian loosed a battle cry. And Aedion had to admit the king wasn’t that useless after all as the catapult behind Dorian sprang free, and a rock the size of a wagon jettisoned into the bay

Lmao bitch you thought! You've literally done nothing this battle while Dorian is out here killing a sea wyvern so you can climb off your high horse, Assdion. Also, Lysandra loses sight of the final wyvern.

Aedion scanned the bay, rotating in the gunner chair as he did, searching for any hint of that colossal dark shadow— “YOUR LEFT!” Gavriel roared across the bay, magic no doubt amplifying his voice.

Hate when dialogue is typed in all caps. Also magic can now be used as a megaphone? Lmfao aiight.

“SWIM,” Aedion roared, even if she couldn’t hear. “SWIM, LYSANDRA!”

Assdion doesn’t even have Gav’s megaphone magic powers, so you have no excuse for this shit, SJM.

Lysandra swims for the beach and Assdion rushes to her while everyone celebrates. This is a good concept, so like, can anyone write this but with a good ship? Might have to make a self indulgent AU for one of my ships just to scrub away the filth of this novel.

“Open your gods-damned eyes,” Aedion snarled. [Lysandra] snarled back but cracked open an eye. “You made it this far. Don’t die on the rutting beach.” The eye narrowed—with a hint of female temper.

Why the fuck is temper gendered now? SJM, you saying a woman’s temper is somehow different than a man’s? You implyin’ all women have bad tempers and they should be shamed for it? What the fuck is the point of this?

Aedion drawled, even as his relief began to crumble his mask of arrogant calmness, “The useless sentries in the watchtower are now all half in love with you,” he lied. “One said he wanted to marry you.”

Uh... why you lyin’ Assdion? I think he’s trying to compliment her, but this is kinda weird?

“But you know what I told them? I said that they didn’t stand a chance in hell.” Aedion lowered his voice, holding her pained, exhausted stare. “Because I am going to marry you,” he promised her. “One day. I am going to marry you. I’ll be generous and let you pick when, even if it’s ten years from now. Or twenty. But one day, you are going to be my wife.”

FUCK I would like (some of) this scene if it wasn’t for Assdion..... Someone rewrite this but with a good ship please.

Those eyes narrowed—in what he could only call female outrage and exasperation.

... I’m done. We’re packing this chapter up.

Alien and the others show up and Assdion realizes that Alien used the Wyrdkey and nearly killed all of them. He’s understandably mad but criticism against Alien? Rowboat’s Fae peen says no!

[Assdion] was shaking now, that rage indeed taking over. But Rowan snarled at him, low and vicious, “Save it for later.”

Oh fuck you, Rowboat. You know damn well you’ll never let anyone criticize Alien. This entire fucking narrative sucks up to Alien so much and I’m pissed. If your characters make stupid ass mistakes, punish them for it! Let them know! Don’t pretend they’re perfect uwuu unproblematic babies and let others criticize them without being portrayed as villains for it GOD I’M SO FUCKING DONE

As if SJM is trying to throw me a bone, there’s this.. actually decent scene afterwards. Gav watches Assdion as he watches over Lysandra until she has the energy to shift back. SJM refers to Assdion/Gav as the Wolf and the Lion though, gets kinda repetitive.

Sand crusted [Lysandra’s] naked body, and she tried and failed to rise. The Wolf moved then, slinging his cloak around her and sweeping her into his arms. The shifter didn’t object, and her eyes were again closed by the time the Wolf began striding up the beach to the trees, her head leaning against his chest.

In a better world where Assdion wasn’t an ass to Lysandra and he was a good character... I would ship this. Fuck. Just gonna go casually write this scene but with one of my OTPs  so I can get this sweet gesture without Assdion’s shitty personality.

The Lion remained out of sight and held in the offer of help. Held in the words he needed to say to the Wolf, who had downed a sea-wyvern with one arrow. Twenty-four years old and already a myth whispered over campfires.

Fuck... the way Gav describes his son as an outsider, since Assdion hasn’t accepted him yet... it’s really good. I love this. Damnit why can’t the rest of the novel be like this?

If you guys thought these chapters were bad, buckle up. Because the next chapter is the long dreaded it.

Yup, next time we’re covering the Ratlin sex scene.

#the worm talks #the worm reads: eos #anti sjm #anti eos #anti tog

[ocean-butch]

How is cas different from ur other girlfriends

akcjwjxia i had to wait like SIX HOURS to answer this bc of a goddamn test i had bUT OH BOY ANON AM I GONNA LOVE DOING IT alfjadjsk i just love talking about my gf i love her so much i wanna gush about her 25/8

the short answer would be basically in every way bUt imma do it part by part.

okay so, in a simplified version i’ve had relationships with people whose personalities worked well with me but who were shitty girlfriends or a good girlfriend who just didnt really fit with my personality. i’ve actually given that so much thought even before i met cass, but the point is that i met her and she was just perfect for me in both ways (technically its more complicated bc theres a bunch of logic into this that im not explaining bc my mind is weird and it would be Way too long but anyways). but ok let get into How she fits me perfectly.

first of all literally no one ever in my entire life has made me laugh as easily and genuinely as she does. im not even exaggerating, like laughing was never really A Thing for me to look for in girls bc it just never happened???? like i had fun conversations and stuff but there was never anyone that made me go “holy shit i have never laughed this much with anyone else” and we have So many inside jokes, which is a thing that i almost never have????? and i always used to wish i did bc everyone would talk about it and i’d feel like i just wasnt funny and That was the problem. and also this is really important bc its one of the things that made me realize that i liked (and eventually, came to love) her. bUT its not the only one so theres also like all these things that we like and we can talk about for HOURS like i remember when i watched infinity war and the first thing i did when i got home was call her and we talked about it for like 2 hours idek but it was great. the point is, we have a bunch of shared interests (which isnt like 100% necessary but its still really nice), wHICH LEADS ME TO: her music taste is amazing and i love that so much bc i love music With My Entire Soul and its the best thing in the fucking world (after cass & my friends and tied with the ocean) but yeah thats great too. AND i think more importantly than the last 2 things is that she is literally so fucking easy to talk to. like ever since the beginning we didnt really have that awkward phase where we run out of things to talk about and the conversation keeps dying like we never had that it just flowed so well and that was such a good feeling. another thing is also how comfortable i feel talking to her.

like i have never felt this way with any of my girlfriends bc i was always scared that i was gonna be annoying or say something Wrong and they’d start to realize i sucked and then break up with me, but shes just so kind and idk she just has this way about her that makes me feel at home and its always been there like i dont believe in love at first sight or anything like that but i swear to god the day after i met her i already felt like i could tell her anything and that was such a comforting thing and i needed that so badly at the time. i dont feel like i was able to describe this aspect very well tbh like im not doing it justice. like, she makes me feel like im not annoying at all, and like i could just randomly start ranting about anything and she would be like super invested in it, and just literally so comfortable in every sense of the word. she is my home, no ifs ands or buts, i just feel it every single time that we talk or that i simply think about her, and i have never felt this so clearly with anyone. and i think this comfort i feel with her is kinda connected with how she has always made me felt so appreciated, in a way that no one has ever done. like, i had like 2 tags about my wants and needs in a relationship, there was “my dream girl” to remind me that i shouldnt settle for anyone after i got out of a rlly bad relationship, and there was “things i wish someone would tell me” after my “first” relationship (i dont really count it bc Officially™ we only dated for a week) because my gf at the time would almost never be affectionate with me and it made me really insecure so i started that tag as a way to vent kinda. anyways my point is that i made those tags bc i would always feel super anxious in my relationships bc i never really felt loved or even wanted (aka the good personalities awful gfs relationships) i just felt like a burden and it was such a big thing for me.

okay now i’ll say that there Kinda was an exception to this before cass, because it would be unfair to say that that relationship was detrimental to my mental health, but it was still different. like, that ex did make me feel wanted most times, but not only did i still have A Lot of insecurities about the whole thing bc of some things she would say and do or not say and not do and i’d get like super uncomfortable or just sad really but also bc whenever the conversation would start to die out i was Absolutely Certain that she was gonna break up with me. it was pretty bad im not even joking. and like ofc my anxiety isnt her fault OR responsibility and like sure i still get anxious about cass sometimes but its not like that its basically just when she doesnt answer for a long time i think that something bad might have happened but even when my rude ass brain does try to tell me that she doesnt love me i KNOW that its not true, and that is a kind of peace that i have never ever had before. but anyways, so that was the good gf whose personality didnt fit mine and its weird now bc that is so obvious but i really didnt wanna believe it at the time even though i knew it wasnt gonna work out, but now its just really weird ngl (but i wont get into the why).

and now cass. wow okay let me tell you about cass. she is perfection. she is literally everything i have ever wanted AND things i didnt even know i wanted. she is everything no one else ever was and i just remembered that when we started dating in may i said that exact same sentence to abby. its just so true, she really is everything that no one else could be. because theyre not her. i’ve said this a lot of times but i really dont see how i could ever love anyone else after loving her, it just doesnt make sense to me because she really is like,, as good as it gets. there is no one better than her for me. we’re literally meant to be i s2g like when we broke up for a while i would tell everyone i wasnt really trying to move on at all bc i just hoped she would come back to me and i couldnt miss that chance. i knew she was my soulmate, although at some points i lost almost all hope (but never all) and i started thinking that maybe she was the love of my life but i wasnt the love of hers. and thats bc she really is everything ive ever dreamed of like she has all these little things that she does or say that sometimes wouldnt even mean anything to other people but to me they are So important bc theyre things ive dreamed about while my ex girlfriends ignored me akcjsjxn like, i was talking about how comfortable she feels to me and a big part of that comes from little things like the fact that even when we were just friends she would spam me when i was gone for a long time and that not only made me feel missed and appreciated but also it meant i could do that to her and it wouldnt be annoying bc she felt the same!! like, she missed me too! and me knowing that she actually Wanted to talk to me and the fact that she actually showed me she cared was super great when we started dating bc it made me feel like if i was feeling sad or insecure, i could literally just ask her to be a little more affectionate and it wouldnt feel fake bc i actually knew she cared. and you have No idea how much that meant to me bc i literally didnt know it was possible for me to feel that way. like honestly i thought it was an innate aspect of who i am that like if i asked for affection it would be meaningless? bc i’d be lowkey forcing the person to say something? but with her it felt different bc we had enough intimacy for me to feel comfortable enough to do that.

HOWEVER i never actually Had to do that bc i got insecure exactly once (1) on the first night we started dating back in may bc i didnt know how much she liked me and i was like in love with her so i thought she would think i was too much and then i told her i was sad and that i was gonna sleep and the next day when i woke up she said something along the lines of “how are you babe bc i remember you said you were sad last night and i couldnt stop thinking about it bc i want you to feel good all the time” and thats something so small but wow it just meant so much to me bc i would cry and beg any fucking force in the universe to make my last ex do Anything At All to try to make me Not Sad and it would be awful and i would feel so so unloved and then cass just said that and something clicked in me and i never doubted her feelings to an actual Meaningful extent while we’ve been together anymore (like ofc i get insecure sometimes and especially when we broke up, but while we have been dating ive never gotten like actually Sad™ specifically bc i wasnt sure she liked me) but it gets even better because some of the things she does are so so special that i never even imagined them like shes literally unreal, i literally never thought someone like her existed and its just so wild to me that i get to be with her.

and i know im saying a bunch of cliches but i mean it all so much like i remember when i was dating one of my exes i was learning her first language but she didnt try to learn mine and i really wished she would bc i just always loved the idea that someone would do that for me?? (and she was like the good gf so yknow,, just how that relationship literally did Not even compare to cass) and guess what yes cass is learning portuguese and its the cutest thing ever btw bUt the point is she does all the little things ive ever wanted in a partner (i literally have a post with a list of things i appreciate in a partner and she does all of them!! well, the ones that arent like irl or smth) also i literally have a draft in this blog that is a list of cute things cass has done/said that means a lot to me personally but i didnt post it yet ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and like theres just so so many things that i havent talked about, like how im not even sure if i was ever in love with anyone of them anymore because what i feel for cass is just so different and so much more, or like how cass actually makes me want to try to get better, which ive never actually wanted before bc it always seemed to scary, like she literally makes me wanna be not only alive but also happy bc she makes me feel like i deserve it. she has been such a good influence on me and my mental health and thats so important and its the first time someone has been this good for me.

but anyways the point is that cass is right for me in every single way like she really is my other half she literally just is everything that she is and thats how shes different from my ex girlfriends.

#according to my girlfriend i spent over 2 hours writing this #AltHouGh #she DID distract me a few times bc she was being cute #and i love her #wow i love her #i know anon is definitely not gonna read this but my girl will alhajska #mine #answered #anon #luna

[textsacc]

letter

mm hey bestie 🥺🥺🥺 im not rly intending to write this as??? a love letter or smth but i have thoughts i was thinky abt n i just wanted to jot them down??? n also here you can read it ig bc they're tangentially rl8 to you but

hfkfjf i mean you'll see

so like i was watching this biologist talk abt researching how love is like. represented in the brain right. like dopamine n neurons n love map (aka a list of conscious n subconscious wants for your future partner) n there was a qn that asked what seperates romantic love frm platonic love! n i went to research the list bc the interviewee said there was one n i just went through them seeing if their list matches up w what id experienced before. n they have!

but the one factor that sorta shocked me was this specific item:

comes with an unrealistic aspiration of happiness from the prospect of being together.

like thats just a call out post for me right there fr fr. n i was thinking back on when you first met me to pass me the ciders for sab (which. admittedly now i want to try more lmao like taste wise n less alcohol wise) n rmb how i said legit i got so head empty when you called my name n offered to hold the bottles for me? and like. idk if i did mention this to you n uh i guess its kinda cringey but i cldnt stop thinking abt that moment: i swear i thought we were already long term married n i was abt to call you hubby. did i mention this before? like i was so swept up in myb the sext the night before that i just. head emptied too hard. reincarnated into a past life or smth idk. but like i point this out bc i wanted to say:

1. idk abt you but i s2g thats a first for me

2. i hope you wont bring this up agn bc im trying to forget

3. you know my absolute fav part about that is like. well. let me continue for a bit b4 coming back to this.

so im writing my character's backstory in sao and i'm not done w it yet? n i rmb smtimes i ask kon or sab to read it just to test how legitimate the storytelling feels. and like its good smtimes bc i shove in singlish in there for that local factor n its funny bc people cringe hard reading it. but likewise when i hit that gay note kon finds it hard to believe?

like the context is: char meets this transfer student n the transfer student wants to hang out w char + other transfer students on the weekends. like its an orientation camp n just so happens that char gets invited to go tourist sightseeing in sg on the assumption it's part of a group. but on the day the outing happens no one else shows up except char + transfer student. and ik its unlikely, just as unlikely as it is that strangers who just met wld go out on an outing like that? but aft pointing it out kon was like @ me: "well ig anything for a pretty girl right?"

and like. i thought it was a joke. i still think it is a joke ngl but. i really gotta think hard abt it. i think in that moment in the supermarket i really did feel like i understood what "anything for a pretty girl" was like. as in, that moment of chasing curiosity and/or falling hard for someone condensed into a single moment, a single snippet in the passage of time. like if you took forever n crammed it into a few seconds, that's how it would feel like.

like i'm trying to say: the feeling of falling hard: it feels dizzying. it feels hazy. it feels like a dream. it feels like you're actually weightless n transcendent. it feels like a lifetime, crushed, filtered for all the joy life brings you. it feels like a rush of dopamine so pure it could rival cocaine. it beats chocolate. it's higher than anything i believe i could ever feel.

and that's fucking insane thaddea. i'm still livid i felt that at all. like on a level of 'i can't believe that was a thing' and 'omg 2nd hand regret from remembering it' and 'is this universal? is this only me? should i double check myself before i wreck myself?' and 'wait. stop. is this how love actually feels like?'

to all of those qns? uh idk. i really dk the answer. but when i think back on all the poetry n yearning, the richard siken poems n the sappho excerpts, the speaking of the universe, death n rebirth n getting lost n found in crier's war, i start to understand why love or romance is written in this manner. like i love my nsfw lust-based stories just as much as anyone, and pure-hearted affection is easy to consume, but then it also begs the qn of 'why do people believe there's a certain depth to it?'

and to me it's like i just found the answer. like i'd just reached enlightment when i think back upon that moment. like in all the time i've existed in the world, it has to be this moment that gives me the answer n reasoning as to why the ocean was as deep as it is. not because we inflate it for fun, just for romanticism's sake but because that is the essence of romance. when someone falls they fall hard.

very hard. seeing stars is one thing. seeing an alternate universe is another.

and. uhh ik that was very intense??? above???? uh im not saying this to be like 'this is a declaration of my love' or 'this is how much i feel for you!' um its more so like uh

a. peer review me??? is this smth you've experienced before? i'd ask my other friends but this is. fucking gay to admit to anyone. like on a 'they'll never let me live it down' manner especially since it was on the first time you ever met me. like i've done stupid shit before but this is unintentionally the most head empty thing i've ever experienced and even then i had no control over what i felt.

b. do you think so too? like on the essence of how we write abt love n romance so deeply like its a subject matter worth studying itself. but like love comes in many different forms n im sure this isn't the only way it can exist but. that strong infatuation is what most people think about when they consider love. and also, obsession. do you think romance written in this manner is worth the hype?

c. they say love is obsession and every day i think of you. << this was meant to be a poem in general but yeah ig it was inspired by you. also not a declaration of my affection i'm just putting down stuff as it comes to my head. i promise. 💀💀💀

d. on an unrelated note, did you know that when i first showed you my tiddies i was asking for you to rest on them? n like. hfjfhkfhf you just sucked on them instead n i'm still shy abt them. like i just wanted to know if tiddy pillow was comfy n ig we did try it at sm point but like i was thinking head btwn tiddy = comfy??? or no??? but also every time i want to test this i get. rly. rly lost on how to ask for it. n i swear im not being sexual abt this i just think abt it all the time when im trynna sleep n im trynna imagine holding you or sm1 in btwn my arms n having their head just in btwn my boobs. that's it! n when i sleep w my bolster its comfy but idk abt human head yet. is that? weird? um

e. your tiddies r v nice pillows?????? yes thank you for letting me rest on them. this is my white guy fuckboi side that doesn't know how to flirt n sounds like an obnoxious person but also like. they are soft n comfy!!! i am. still yearning. shy

f. i forgot what else i had to say. i was rly just writing the abv thesis abt love n romance n thats how i got here rly. also i cldnt sleep nnive been trying for like an hour. so. wan giv you kisses b4 i try to sleeb agn.

g. gnight thaddea 🥺🥺🥺 you're cute n i like you a lot. n also if you read this here's 5 vouchers to get kisses frm me any time you want, just ic you feel lonely or kiss starved.

ok. nini cutie uwu

[metvmorphcsis-blog]

this intro ? WACK.

( IM JINAH ) *|| DECRYPTING ! file  :  rin hana. the twenty six year old conduit with the power to SHAPESHIFT was last seen in seattle washington. SHE is a level 3 threat, and must be brought into custody of the D.U.P dead or alive. they are usually associated with  ( droplets of blood on snow, faux laughter, cracked mirrors, tightly tied back hair, daggers hidden beneath sleeves, small cuts on the cheek  )  so be on the look out. witnesses describe her as implacable + evasive, but strangely charismatic + staunch. if sighted, please contact the DUP help line.

a little bit of da past

this is the second rin seed, aka, the younger sister to ouran. their parents died when she was two so she and her brother grew up in foster care. she and ouran have literally been attached to the hip since she could remember ? they’ve never been separated in foster care, with the exception of that one time but let’s just say it didn’t work, and he became her legal guardian after he turned 18

hana’s abilities surfaced after her conduit gene was activated and she was tbh kind of psyched about it ?? she didn’t see herself as cursed, she actually embraced her powers pretty easily. it started off with her being able to change little things, like the color of her hair, eyes, etc. but she loved to experiment so after awhile, she learned how to shapeshift into completely different people. ngl the first person she took the appearance of was her brother, probs as some kind of practical joke to fuck with his head a lil LMAO

the day ouran was taken by the DUP was the first day the two had ever really been separated. her brother helped her escape the apartment before the DUP came, but he never made it out with her. she always relied on him for everything so being on her own was like a hard ass slap to the face. he was the only person she had and she didn’t have anyone else after he was taken, had no place to stay and was like... hella broke. she was also on the run. the DUP knew that ouran had a sister and they assumed that since his powers were pretty dangerous, that hana’s would be just as bad so um yeah she was on their watch list for the longest. little did they know that the bitch could shapeshift so even though they had her description, she’d just take the appearance of someone else and blend in with da crowd. that’s how she survived tbh, she’d constantly be changing her appearance and pick-pocketing and just being a sneaky bitch in general

during one of her little acts, she gets a bit carried away and goes to this party for the elite, right ? she’s hoping to get lucky and steal some mulah, you feel. but then, get this, she MEETS SOMEONE and he’s catches her attention almost immediately. fast forward a month, she’s still in the same form she’d used that night and they’re together, as in like, they’re dating. all’s happy and shiz and she believes that maybe she can keep this appearance up but them boom, she lets her guard down once and he finds out she’s a conduit. he pretends to accept her for who she is but you already know hana’s iife highkey SUCKS and he ends up lying to her and reporting her to the DUP when she’s asleep lol

the DUP takes her but instead of locking her up, they propose a deal. if she works with them, they’d release ouran from curdun cay in 5 years... so uh yeah she took the deal. due to her special ability to shapeshift, the government wanted her to disguise herself and gain the trust of numerous rebel conduit groups then turn them in, basically. she hated it but hana’s love for her brother shadows everything else so she did it anyway WHOOPS

3 years into being their little “undercover cop”, hana hears rumors of a “fire conduit” escaping curdun cay. she knows that there may be a chance that it’s not her brother, but she doesn’t let the opportunity slip away. she uses all of her resources to find him and somehow, they get in touch and she escapes from the DUPs grasp to meet up with him in seattle

hana ? WACK too

much deceitful. she’s taken multiple identities during the time she’d been without her brother so the girl’s learned a thing or two about messing with someone’s head

real charming. she has this kind of vibe, you feel ? she just has this way with words. lowkey it’s scary tho

pretty loyal, pretty trustworthy. she hated betraying all those people when she was working with the DUP but she did it for the person she was the most loyal to: her brother. she doesn’t just go around backstabbing every person she meets i promise

uhhhh trust issues ? she just doesn’t trust people easily and though she’s a pretty outgoing person, it’s hard to have a raw-kind-of conversation with her. she likes to flash a smile and laugh, not talk about feelings

ok so she’s one of those nice people who have a really, really bad side ? if she’s angry, boi she is ANGRY. if you’ve done her wrong, don’t expect to ever get on her good side ever again. she is just so unforgiving, unyielding, uncompromising, un-EVERYTHING

a bit flirtatious lmao. leave it to her to be like “did you know that i can make my boobs bigger”

oooo magic ooo power ooo Bad-Ass™

so as explained, hana has the power to shapeshift, along with the general abilities of a conduit. she can change specific parts of her body as well as her whole appearance, but if she’s trying to turn herself into another person, she would have had to see them beforehand. 

the activation of her conduit gene also altered her physiology a little. she grew small horns on her head, her hair turned snow white, and her eyes became completely black. though in order to blend in, she gets rid of her horns and uses her former hair and eye colors.

can only take the form of humans, no animals or objects. sometimes she tries to imitate an animal, but it never ends well bc it exerts her and causes her to be temporarily stuck half way through the transformation. think human with the legs of a chicken, or something funny like that

knows how to kick butt ? she was taught basic fighting moves during her time with the DUP but she wasn’t some kind of huge military ass kicker. but after she and her brother met up, she totally bugged the crap outta him until he agreed to train her so yeah basically they’re a pair of butt kicking siblings<333

since shapeshifting isn’t really an offensive ability, she’s always carrying around a weapon or two. good with guns and swords but her weapon of choice are kunai knives, which she literally hides everywhere on her body s2g

wanted connections

best friend

childhood friend

frenemies

enemies/rivals

crush(es), one-sided crushes ?

ex(es)

one night stand

fwb

just the general ones i guess ? a more specific one would be someone she’d met when she was working for the DUP. could be someone who was part of a group she turned in ?

#♛ ❛ ― ooc. #geneintro

[anyway-i-love-vanderwood]

A MC that doesn't know how to handle feelings, let alone feelings of love

✿ Thank you @clearruby, who requested this via my Ko-Fi! (sorry it took a few days i’ve been swamped at work orz).

I’m splitting this in two because of the length.  Here’s the main RFA portion! Minor Trio will arrive soon.

Yoosung

You don’t get it.

Like, just saying that doesn’t really convey your complete bafflement regarding Yoosung’s behavior. He frets about your safety constantly, he is frequently expressing affection to you, and he… seems to care… what you think about him?

What the heck?

Why?

And why you?

You’re not really, uh, a particularly personable person. In fact, it was your heretofore emotionally isolated existence that had left you perfectly happy to take this weird job where you stay in an apartment alone for over a week. It wasn’t like you had friends, anyway. It wasn’t like you talked to people.

It wasn’t like you were great at this human connection thing that everyone was going on about, so why the heck was Yoosung… interested in you?

And – what the heck is this… weird warmth in your stomach whenever he checks on you at three a.m., asking about what you’re doing and how your day has been?

It gets weirder when you start finding yourself trying to… protect him? Whenever Seven starts teasing him and tricking him into thinking he’s dying, you calmly and coldly tell Yoosung that no, that’s not the case. You soothe his worries with cold, analytical logic, and while Seven calling you a robot doesn’t bother you at all…

Something about the way Yoosung defends you and calls you great… does?

But not a bad kind of bothering, it’s like…

It’s like…

Something nagging at you that you can’t stop thinking about, like wondering if you’ve left the stove on back home, but with your heart instead of your mind.

It gets frustrating, how often you think about him. How you wonder how he’s doing at school, and think about whether he got that grade he wanted on a test or not. It’s doubly frustrating when he plays LOLOL instead of getting his work done, because for some reason, it – matters to you that he succeeds?

It’s weird. It’s stupid. Why would it affect you? But it just feels all bubbly, and weird, and –

And –

You start thinking about his face –

…Why?

Late one night, you complain to Zen about this, and he pauses for a moment before saying…

“I… think you’d call that love.”

You say no. No. That’s not. It can’t. You don’t fall in love, that’s just not you, and Zen starts laughing uproariously and tells you to test it, why don’t you? When you meet him in person, try holding his hand. If your ‘weird feeling’ gets worse, then you’ll know for certain that it’s love!

Eager to prove Zen wrong, you agree. You’ll show him. You’ll show them all! …Which is also kind of strange, come to think about it, why do you care about proving him wrong? – But you have enough questions to think about for now, so you set that aside.

It’s at the party when you do it, standing in front of the setting sun with Yoosung at your side. He’s said a lot of things that made you feel that Strange Thing – that weird flutter, the feeling like your stomach is dropping into your shoes – but you can’t isolate or examine any of them until you complete Zen’s trial.

You’re alone right now – you’d told Yoosung you’d wanted to get some air, which he’d rushed to accommodate. He said it made sense, y’know, with… how you are about people, and why did it matter to you whenever he was friendly and considerate? It was dumb, this was dumb, and spurred on by some emotion you couldn’t name, you looked away from him and grabbed onto his hand.

Yoosung sputters.

Yoosung turns into a tomato.

Yoosung practically d i e s next to you, which you don’t witness, because you felt your heart stop.

It was just… nice, this feeling of his warmth under your own, and knowing that it was Yoosung’s hand you were holding – kind, gentle, wonderful Yoosung – made it all the better.

Well. Sort of better. It also made you so dizzy that you felt like you wanted to faint, and Yoosung maybe had to catch you with his other hand when you stumbled, which brought you into a position of further physical proximity which made you both emotionally collapse even more, and then resulted in you both panicking and shoving yourselves away from each other, but.

Well.

It was exciting?

(from then on, zen – who was watching from the window because DUH HOW COULD HE NOT – resolves to get you two married asap.)

Zen

Zen is stupid and dumb and idiotic and moronic and frustrating and you don’t know WHY he’s frustrating and you don’t know how to deal with him being FRUSTRATING because you’ve always been able to RUN AWAY BUT YOU CAN’T BECAUSE YOU’RE STUCK IN THIS FREAKIN’ APARTMENT.

When you’d gotten this ‘job’, you thought it would be great. Minimal social interaction, free food, and an excuse to make yourself a complete recluse. People thought you were a weird robot devoid of the ability to make emotional connections, so why wouldn’t you want a job where you could escape them all?

(ok, trying to get people to come to the party was a little… but tbqh it was fairly easy with some basic googling and some research.)

Anyway, that was all ruined by STUPID, WEIRD ZEN, WHO KEEPS SHOWING YOU ATTRACTIVE PICTURES AND FLIRTING?? IS THIS FLIRTING??? WITH YOU and MAKING YOU FEEL WEIRD.

People asked for a selfie, so you took one, and he spent literally thirty minutes gushing over it.

Is this a joke?

Is he playing a trick on you?

YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND HUMOR, you can’t tell if your leg is being pulled, here!

You spend multiple evenings on your bed, flopped on the covers and sulking over this development.

You just… can’t deal with this?

and why does it make you feel so funny when he gushes over you?

Why does it make you feel so funny, being told that he’s spending a lot more time in the chat ever since you came around…?

UGH. WHY DOES HE HAVE TO BE SO HANDSOME? This isn’t your opinion – it’s objective fact!

(cue more annoyed rolling.)

Zen is… amused by all of this, and he takes the opportunity to tease you more. Like, obviously he wants to start dating you asap – this boy is desperate – but he’s also loving watching you go through this period of emotional turmoil. You’ve told the chat a little about yourself; you don’t do Feelings, and it’s making him pleased as punch that he’s becoming an exception.

…He’s surprisingly gentle with you when he meets you in person.

Oh, he keeps courting you, obviously. Flowers, chocolates, dates. But he’s patient and kind and lets you figure things out at your own pace. He’s enjoying this slow, prolonged descent into you accepting your feelings, and he really enjoys the process of seeing you work through it.

Ok, so sometimes it means he gets punched in the shoulder because you don’t have any other way to process the turmoil of flirting, but it’s always just a smack, and he’s tough anyway.

Zen’s loyal. He’ll wait as long as it takes for you to accept that the ‘weird sickness’ you get whenever he’s around is love.

[Jaehee, Jumin and Seven are under the read-more!]

Jaehee

Ohhboy.

Welcome to Friendship Simulator 5,000, where neither of you can really process that your relationship is... uh… not entirely platonic.

Jaehee’s route is already about her processing the feeling of becoming ‘friends’ with someone, so your descent into emotional closeness is actually a pretty gentle one with her. Yeah, it’s weird that you suddenly find yourself supporting someone so much and being supported in return… but Jaehee makes for a welcoming, accepting partner to discuss these things with.

She’s so reliable that you feel like you can tell her your fears. You say that you’re terrified she’ll leave and then you’ll be left floundering, with no idea what to do or how to deal with your feelings. You say that you’re scared of intimacy, that you have trust issues, because… duh, she has them too.

You don’t really know what to make of the u t t e r f u r y that encompasses you when you hear how Jaehee’s foster family treated her. In fact, it leaves you with a busted hand and a hole in the plaster of Rika’s apartment that you aren’t sure how to explain. It’s – weird! You’ve never gotten this mad for someone before!

But Jaehee is kind, and – and she doesn’t deserve that!

You struggle. You talk to Jaehee. You have a calm conversation that’s conducive to opening up your feelings.

Like the flowers in spring, something starts to bloom in your heart.

You don’t realize what it is until almost a year later, when you and Jaehee are opening the café one day… and even then, you don’t realize the full depth of what it is you’re experiencing.

You just know in that moment, watching the morning sun pool on her shoulders and ghost across her hair, that you want Jaehee to be in your life. Forever.

…It’s a feeling that’s desperate and wanting and hurting, but it’s also warm and supportive. You’ve never felt anything like it before, but you also know that you wouldn’t change a single aspect of it for the world.

Jumin

oh christ.

Neither of you understand an appropriate and proper way to moderate Feelings, and the both of you find different ways to be BAD at it.

Jumin gets, uh. Y’know. Possessive, doesn’t want to let you out of his sight for fear you’ll be hit by a car, etc. You get tetchy because intellectually, you understand this Isn’t Okay, but the emotionally compromised, affection starved inner part of you is like, woah, he cares so much! Frustrated with these feelings and also your inability to properly negotiate boundaries with him, you often close yourself off and sulk.

Jumin doesn’t want to make you sad, so he sulks, and by the end of it Jaehee is dealing with two miserable adult-children which she isn’t prepared at all to handle because HOO BOY GUESS WHO ELSE HAS EMOTIONAL ISSUES??

all y’all need therapy i s2g

anyway you’re falling for jumin, and also have no idea how to describe or properly articulate your feelings regarding jumin. you get annoyed when women fawn over him but are confused about why, because why should it matter to you? what will it affect? what stake do you have in this?

The closest you come to mentally resolving this internal conflict is deciding that, well, you LOVE Elizabeth the III, like - love. like, you’d die for this stupid cat, and Jumin dating someone would probably limit your access to her, so you’re jealous of these women not because they’re around Jumin, but because they’re limiting your Elizabeth time.

In the end, it’s JUMIN who accepts his love of you first, and who tries to express to you that he’d like to be a couple. You tell him that you’re very flattered but obviously, this warm, fuzzy, gooey feeling in your chest is only a response to his cat, so you can’t date him.

(i want to emphasize how many times zen has bashed his head against the wall in the background by this point.)

Anyway, Jumin is crushed by this idiotic rejection, and since he’s not used to this whole… loving and then not having thing, he goes into a downward mope-spiral. This makes you feel guilty and sad, which are both things you’re bad at dealing with, but you also realize that you kind of want to hug him and make him feel better?

like… that’s weird.

This drama is too much for Zen, so even though he hates Jumin the cat freak, he decides to help a bro out by sitting you down and forcing you to confront yourself. It takes like five straight hours of bickering with you to prove that, yes, you do like jumin - seriously, he needs a powerpoint and documented evidence - but afterwards, you’re like…

oh.

You’re also scared because, OH SHIT, you just- rejected him! he probably hates you now! you can never show your face again… no, not just that, you need to run away to another country! another continent! another planet!

N o, zen says, and he grabs your arm, drags you to a flowershop to buy an ‘I’m-Sorry-I’m-an-Idiot-Bouquet’, and then brings you to Jumin’s apartment to talk.

JUST TALK, YOU MORONS.

AND BE HONEST…!

after what is, quite possibly, the worst confession in the world, Jumin hugs you, and the two of you can be emotionally repressed, touch-starved idiots Together.

707 (Saeyoung)

somewhere, the combined forces of cupid and Aphrodite create a new ocean from their tears, because gdi you are a matchmaker’s worst nightmare. 

You don’t get Seven’s jokes. They’re weird. He’s weird. You don’t understand why he says this stuff. 

You also don’t understand why he talks to you, why he seems fascinated by you, and why he laughs with such force after hearing your deadpan responses over the phone. It’s bizarre! It’s peculiar!

You know you’re a robot, and he knows you’re a robot, so... why does he keep pestering you?

You can only think that he’s some kind of weird sadist, and you continue on as normal (while sighing and rubbing your head each time you’re the punchline of his bizarre humor.)

Seven doesn’t get why you’re so hilarious, but holy crap, you really are the greatest straight man in the world, aren’t you?

You’re like Jumin but better, because your sincere naivety isn’t tainted by you being ruthless, capitalist, bourgeoisie scum. You’re odd, you’re different, you don’t understand basic things (like the human emotions you’re so used to repressing) and he’s fascinated every time he talks to you!

He can never predict you! He can never anticipate what you’ll say! Interacting with you isn’t like the mundane, routine call-and-response shticks he has with the rest of the RFA... 

Talking to you makes him feel like he’s flying on the clouds! 

--But only because you’re entertaining, right?

He’s definitely not pestering you because he’s head-over-heels in love. That’d be ridiculous! Preposterous! Unthinkable.

...This is how things go, until you’re put in danger from the bomb.

You take things cooly. What, you’re supposed to be scared? Hah! The last time you felt fear was when you were eight and just learning that no one would come and help you fight the monsters in the closet. You’d truly understood then that, if you wanted things done, you’d have to do them yourself, and feeling fear wasn’t part of the equation.

...Feeling anything wasn’t part of the equation, really...

Seven takes things less cooly. he is, in fact, flipping out, because holy shit you’re in danger holy shit it’s his fault holy shit he’s so worried about you and -

...Why is he so worried, precisely?

(You ask him this question repeatedly. He’s only known you for a few days. The lengths to which he’s going to ruin his life for your sake are ridiculous, aren’t they?)

But for some reason, it’s precisely because you think they’re ridiculous that he wants to try so hard to help you.

You don’t get it. He doesn’t get it. You kind of fight about it but he won’t stop. and neither will you stop worrying about him because for some reason...

You want to save him, too.

Everyone else realizes it’s love long before you two do, and the both of you manage to navigate the Mint Eye situation without ever once beginning to acknowledge how you feel about each other.

There are plenty of strange declarations of emotion. When Seven is letting his brother take his repressed rage out on him, you step in and force them to talk. When Saeran is struggling, you try to watch over him, because it’s stressing Seven out, and you want Seven to be happy.

You stay up late, listening to Seven’s worries, and tell him he’s a dipshit in the morning when he tries to brush them aside. Occasionally, you do the same in return, though you’re less likely to back away from having expressed emotion. You’re just...

Confused. And lost. And don’t know how to deal with being strangely concerned about him. You make a million excuses, which Zen and Yoosung shoot down a million times because they just want to see you happy with someone, okay?

And you love Seven so much! And he loves you so much!

It’s dumb!

They do everything in their power to set you up on dates, which ends up with you and him bumbling past your feelings like two navigationally challenged ships passing in the night. It’s impressive, really. Even Vanderwood is annoyed by watching you two. The only thing that Zen can think to do...

Is try to make Seven jealous by flirting with you.

This is a bad plan. This is a stupid plan. But Zen is also kind of a stupid man, so he undergoes it with gusto, trying to ‘woo’ you while attempting to inspire some feelings of jealousy in Seven.

and it. works? sort of?

Like, you don’t understand you’re being flirted with, but you do get kind of flustered once which makes Seven feel w  e i r d.

and obviously, since Seven loves running from anything even approaching genuine emotion, shuts down and avoids to problem.

He stops talking to you.

This pisses you off for reasons you don’t quite understand, and with only a very poorly thought out plan in mind, you march to his apartment and BANG ON THE DOOR UNTIL SOMEONE LETS YOU IN BECAUSE THIS IS ENOUGH.

YOU ARE DONE.

YOU FINALLY JUST GET SO ANGRY AT SEVEN ACTING DUMB AND NOT LETTING YOU CARE FOR HIM THAT YOU ADMIT BOTH TO YOURSELF AND TO HIM THAT YOU DO.

THAT YOU ARE HIS FRIEND.

THAT YOU DON’T WANT TO SEE HIM HURT.

that you... like him.

“...so please... stop ignoring me, okay?”

(saeran lets you in, grabs his brother by the scruff of his neck, and forces you to talk.)

That talk doesn’t really get you into the date-zone yet, much to everyone’s chagrin, but it puts you far closer to the vicinity of romance than either of you have been willing to trudge into up to this point. There’s practically a second RFA party held in honor to commemorate you holding hands with him, and five years later, when you’re finally married, Zen openly bursts into tears as he watches you go down the aisle.

FINALLY.

FINALLY, IT WORKS OUT.

#mysme #mysme headcanons #mystic messenger #mystic messenger headcanons #mysme reactions #mystic messenger reactions #mysme imagines #mystic messenger imagines #long post #mystic messenger spoilers #mysme spoilers #yoosung kim #jaehee kang #zen #jumin han #707 #luciel choi

[bambamsgotjams]

Wonwoo As A Father

AHHHH!!!! You’re S. Coups as a father was so good and I may have fangirled a little too much over it lol. I don’t know if you a have a certain order, but can you do Wonwoo next if all possible. And maybe make him have a little girl

Wonwoo is everyone’s bias wrecker

Like even if he isn’t he still is so lets see how far I can get without fangirling

Wonwoo is another member I can really see having daddy instincts almost instantly when being a father

He would be so nervous though and have doubts about being good enough

He would be so oblivious to your hints while trying to tell him you were pregnant

When you had found out that you were two months pregnant from skipping a period

You were kind of scared of the reaction Wonwoo would give you seeing that the two of you aren’t even married yet

Heck with it you weren’t even engaged

He was just your 6ft dorky book loving boyfriend

You were pretty sure that both you and him were not even 5% ready to have a baby together

You knew you had to tell him though

You can’t keep a swollen belly hidden away from your boyfriend forever

So you tried slipping the idea of children smoothly into conversations

“You know Wonwoo, those kids at the park were really cute. Ours would be cuter though”

“That couple has a cute little baby. I’m pretty sure we could make a baby that cute too”

“These baby commercials really have me thinking, catch my drift?”

Wonwoo would be so goddamn dense about it though and you couldn’t seem to get the idea of having a baby stuck in his head

So you turned to the one resource you knew your boyfriend would never miss

books

You managed to take the picture of your ultrasound and fold it up in his novel that he was currently reading

One night before bed when you were cuddled up under the covers next to your boyfriend, he decided to catch up on that one very special novel

It took a couple minutes until he flipped to the page you marked with the ultrasound picture

Wonwoo took out the photo and looked at it with a confused face

“[y/n] do you know why there is a picture of a baby in my book? And why does it have your name on it??”

“Because it’s mine” you would reply

Wonwoo would look at you and laugh thinking that you were joking

He would stop immediately though once he found out that you were dead serious

Then he would turn even whiter than his whitewashed photos

“you’re not joking”

You would just nod your head slowly and bit your lips in fear of his response

Wonwoo would stay silent for a couple of moments before breaking out in a small grin

“do you think it’ll be a little girl? I’ve always wanted a little girl”

Just his few words would be enough to reassure you that this was going to be a great experience

especially now since you have your boyfriend’s full support over the pregnancy

Wonwoo would be so caring throughout the entire thing

He would be that man to always make sure he held the doors for you

Even in your own apartment where the doors didn’t really need to be held for you to get to room to room

He would reassure you that he would cook dinner for the next 7 months of your pregnancy

You would be skeptical but wouldn’t complain because you loved the fact that Wonwoo was going all out to pamper you during these next few months

He would absolutely fail miserably at cooking for you and you would end up fixing his mistakes

He somehow managed to burn water (which i may or may not have done before so don’t judge)

In the end you really did give him credit because he tried so hard to make a good meal for you and he would get so upset when it wouldn’t turn out right

Telling the boys would be an interesting experience

Like all they would do is shower the poor man with questions and tease him for the rest of his life

“hyung, boys are the one’s with penises right?”

“i s2g kim mingyu you’re such a headass”

Although Mingyu seemed to act naive to the entire thought of his best friend having a baby

He actually was pretty helpful

He offered to do the shopping for the two of you

He would walk your dog

He would water your plants (only to get smacked by Wonwoo because he over watered and killed your cactus)

But overall he was a great help

Wonwoo would be so giddy when it came to his first viewing of the ultrasound

It was your six month checkup and he was beyond excited to finally find out the gender of your baby

He would hold your hand throughout the entire process and watch closely as the doctor explained to you guys about the different parts visible on the screen

The doctor would then smiled and point to the lower half of the baby and talk to the two of you in a calm tone

“it looks like the two of you are going to have a healthy little girl”

Wonwoo would cry on the spot because having a baby girl was what he really wanted ever since he found out you were pregnant

“Wonwoo, are you okay? you sound like a dying whale”

“i’m not crying a spec just flew into my eye”

he would say as showers of tears poured down his face

This oaf would be so happy about the entire thing for weeks

It’s all he would talk about to the boys and even to random strangers on the street

“Hey, did you know that the gender of my baby is going to be a-”

“A girl, we know wonwoo”

“Are you guys psychic or something?”

Wonwoo would be so obsessed with shopping for your little girl

Like he would be spoiling her even before she was born

Her entire nursery would be pastel colors

He’d buy her every single plushie he would see

There would always be a moment when the two of you were shopping that you needed to pull your boyfriend to the side and tell him that you’re little girl already has enough

Of course he would never listen and still end up buying the whole store

The first time you felt the baby kick was during one of Seventeen’s practices

And of course you ended up disrupting the entire thing

Not that you tried

When the baby kicked it took you by shock because you weren’t expecting it and you didn’t realize what was happening until it happened so you were like

“o h”

Wonwoo heard you and thought that something bad happened so he would scream for the music to stop and quickly run over to you to see if you were okay

The boys would follow him quickly because you were like family to them and they were worried also

“give me your hand”

“why??? what’s wrong”

You would take his giant hand and place it onto your round belly

It would take a couple of seconds until the baby kicked agian and wonwoo was like

:O

He would scream loudly and turn to his members and motion for them to place their hands on your belly too

And that’s basically how you ended up with 13 hands on your pregnant belly

All the boys would be so giddy about it and would start screaming about how excited they were to complete this milestone with you

This wasn’t exactly how you expected the first kick to go but honestly it was better than you thought

Everything since then seemed to run pretty smoothly

The only thing that really bothered you were the constant contractions and morning sicknesses

The doctor told you that it was normal though because the baby was so close to it’s due date

You and Wonwoo were both nervous and excited because you’ve been waiting for this moment for the past 9 months

Wonwoo started having his last minute “i’m not good enough” doubts about being a father

You did everything to reassure him that it would be perfect though

And finally the day came

Your contractions were being extra painful that day and Wonwoo was too afraid to leave you all on your own so he decided to take you to work with him where you laid down on a sofa in jihoon’s studio

You were about to fall asleep when you felt a sharp pain run through your abdomen followed by trickling liquid

You were like “oh shit” and stood up to go find Wonwoo

But the second you stood up you screamed out in pain

Lucky for you Jihoon was headed back to his studio to grab one of their newest tracks and heard your scream

He immediately ran to your side and judge by the way you were struggling to stand he knew exactly what was happening

He allowed you to hold onto him as he led you to the practice room where your boyfriend was

Right as you walked through the door, you made eye contact with Wonwoo

Wonwoo asked you what was wrong and Jihoon gave him a dead face

“dude she’s going into labor, can’t you tell??”

Wonwoo’s eyes popped out of his head as he went to dial for an ambulance but luckily Seungcheol stopped him and told him to just have someone drive you to the hospital instead

So Wonwoo grabbed a staff member and had them run the two of you to the hospital

You didn’t really remeber most of the trip because the pain was too much for you to handle at the time so you ended up passing out on the way there

The nurse woke you up in time to tell you that it was time to push

And damn was that quite the wake up call

Wonwoo helped you push pretty well and he managed to stay calm and collected through the entire thing

He knew that if he stressed you out that wouldn’t be good so he tried to stay strong

But really he was dying on the inside

And finally loud cries were heard

And no, it wasn’t from that baby

It was from your dorky boyfriend who had a giant grin on his face and broke down at the sight of your little girl being held in the arms of the nurse

“she’s here! she’s really here [y/n]!”

You couldn’t help but smile at your boyfriend as he continued to fuss over how happy he was

The nurse soon got the baby cleaned off and handed it to your boyfriend to give to you

But he didn’t want to let go

You couldn’t blame him though

He looked so mezmerized by the small girl and his eyes were so glossy with delight at the sight of her in his arms

He couldn’t process how something so tiny could mean so much to him

After a couple of days it was finally time to take her home

Of course Wonwoo took up the role of becoming her tour guide

He would walk around the house with your little girl in his arms and show her around and introduce her to all your plants

“these are the marigolds, these are the daisies, and this is the cactus that uncle mingyu killed so he is not allowed to come around the house until your much older because the same thing might happen to you too”

She would start at him with her big brown eyes as if she were listening to every word he was saying

This is how you knew that your little girl would have her daddy wrapped around her finger

As she grew older Wonwoo refused to miss any of her major milestones

Such as her first steps when she fell into his arms and he was so proud

Or when her first words were “woowoo” and he was melting over how cute she sounded as she tried to say his name

Honestly you couldn’t tell if she was trying to mimic the trains you took her to see of if she was calling out for her father’s attention

But you didn’t want to fight about it because it made Wonwoo so happy

But basically that’s how Wonwoo got his nickname from you and no matter how many times he told you to stop you were like

“yeah, whatever woowoo, you know you like it”

And he honestly didn’t mind because he loved you so much

Sometimes you wondered if he loved you as much as his little girl

But he always said he loved you both the same

He would be so protective over her

Like when the two of you needed a babysitter so you could go out for a special dinner together Mingyu offered to watch her

You were okay with it but Wonwoo was afraid he would kill her like he did with his precious cactus

You literally had to pull him out the door so he could let Mingyu do his job

And throughout the entire night he couldn’t stop worrying about his little girl

“if you were so worried about leaving her alone why did you ask me for dinner tonight?”

“because i had important business to take care of with you but i didn’t think you would call the worst possible person to babysit”

And because he was so worried he would completely rush through the night and almost forgot that he was planning to propose to you so before you guys left he restaurant he shoved a black box into your hands and you were like

“lol okay”

So that’s basically how you got engaged which is another story

And when you got home you told him that there really wasn’t anything to worry because of the sight you walked into

Mingyu was laid across your sofa with your little toddler craddled into his chest

Wonwoo walked over to the two of them and placed a blanket over top of them and pouted the entire way back to you

“he’s gonna take her away from me”

“shut up dork, no he’s not”

The wasn’t the last time he got jealous over Mingyu’s relationship with your daughter

There was also the time they had a tea party and your daughter declared Mingyu her new boyfriend

And it was like that way for 3 years until Minghao’s son strutted into your daughter’s life and was like

“sup babe you got a man??”

And that’s how you and Minghao’s wife started fangirling about how cute your kids would be with each other

Wonwoo and Minghao on the other hand were not happy because they didn’t want their babies to have anyone in their lives so young

The two of them were best friends for like their entire life

Despite Minghao’s baby being a year younger than your daughter

And when they got into high school Minghao told Wonwoo that his son had a major crush on his daughter

And jealous Wonwoo was back

All that went away though when Minghao’s son came over to your place one day to ask if he could take your daughter to prom

He was so nervous because Wonwoo looked so intimidating

But Wonwoo only smirked at him and was like

“dude, chill. if you want to take out my daughter you can, it’s just prom right??”

But Wonwoo was wrong because prom actually made their relationship turn into more and before you knew it your daughter had a boyfriend

You were honestly just glad that your daughter was with someone that you could trust to not hurt her

But Wonwoo had a hard time processing it

He did get over it after a while and realized that his daughter was really happy with baby hao

God he was such a mess when it came to her graduation

He was the one dad who took way too many pictures

But he also came up with the cute couple ideas for graduation pics for both his daughter and Minghao’s son

The two of them ended up going to the same college and Wonwoo was kind of relaxed because at least his daughter had someone to look after her while she was away

Fast forward a couple years

MInghao and your daughter were in their last year of college

Your daughter had actually just gotten excepted into medical school while Minghao’s son got excepted into veterinary school

So Minghao’s son showed up at your door one day during break and asked if he could take Wonwoo out

Of course Wonwoo hesitated before he agreed because it was his daughter’s boyfriend and it could do him some good to get to know her

He may have also been forced out by his wife

Baby hao was so nervous though like he kept shaking and was causing Wonwoo some stress

It wasn’t until he spilled juice all over Wonwoo’s pants that Wonwoo finally broke

“dude, are you okay”

Hao’s son was shocked that Wonwoo seemed so chill about it all so he decided to come clear about why he took Wonwoo out

“I want to marry your little girl”

Wonwoo was speechless and soon broke out into a small smile

“you’re okay kid, you can marry her if you want”

And that was how the two of them bonded

Wonwoo even helped baby hao plan his proposal

And a couple years later they ended up getting married

His daughter was so nervous the day of but Wonwoo helped calm her nerves

And the look he gave when he was his baby girl in her wedding gown made him cry

Like she was so beautiful

It was the same reaction he gave his wife as she walked down the aisle so many years back

Wonwoo’s little girl was finally grown up and he couldn’t be prouder of his family

Even though he gave his little girl away to another man, he still had his loving wife by his side to reassure him that everything was okay

He was okay

#seventeen scenarios #seventeen #jeon wonwoo #wonwoo #s coups #jeonghan #joshua #junhui #hoshi #woozi #mingyu #dokyeom #the8 #minghao #seungkwan #vernon #dino #kpop #kpop scenarios #daddy!wonwoo #daddy!seventeen

[bbangjaes]

:’) aw thank you so much i loved making those

i think i know exactly what you’re trying to say, coming right up!

(also i’m really really sorry this took so long i desperately need a new laptop bc mine is trash and keeps not working well when i try to write)

-mik

SF9 SCENARIO: Them Saving You From A Conversation You Want To Get Out Of

Youngbin: 

Have no fear, Binnie is here. He would be very in tune to your eye signals because he’s always getting lost in them (oooooo smooth, mik *high fives self*). This literal father would swoop in and attack the person you’re talking to with distractingly bad dad jokes or something while you made your escape. But, since he’s wickedly charming and just plain great to look at (srsly this guy has the most blindingly beautiful smile i’ve ever laid eyes on), he might struggle to them get himself out of the conversation. After some very kind listening and thoughtful nodding, he’d somehow manage to weasel his way away from the person that you so desperately wanted to get away from and get back to you. You’d be worried that he was mad at you for making him sacrifice himself for you but just the opposite would be true. He’d be a complete sweetheart about it and ask you if you were okay (i swear he’s such boyfriend material heart eyes emoji).

Inseong:

I feel like this meme would front like he knew how to save you but, in reality, he would have no clue (smh what a loser amiright amiright). You’d be signaling to him with widened eyes and he’d be super confused at first like ???? fuck you doing but would then finally understand why you looked like your eyes were bulging out of your head after a bit. He’d try and think up ways that he could help you and would settle on a plan of action that he was very confident in (oh jeez, here we go). He’d stroll on over to you and the person that you were talking to and put his arm around your shoulders. He’d very smoothly apologize for interrupting and calmly say that he had to steal you away for an important matter. You were looking at him with heart eyes like he was your hero. That is, until he crumbled right before your eyes. The person who you were talking to would ask what the “important matter” was and, unfortunately, your genius boyfriend would not have considered the possibility of that question coming up in his master plan (i really do love him i swear). After a moment of panic, Inseong would make some noise like a frustrated child and just sort of drag you away from the person without another word (i’m rolling idk why i made this like this but i thoroughly believe that inseong would be a hot mess).

(ignore the funny ass captions but i feel like he’d be this level of shook/confused)

Jaeyoon:

This honey would know right away that his baby was in trouble (i feel like he’d have some crazy “my gf is in danger” sense or something). He would zoom at the speed of light to come save you from the conversation. He’d probably use his smarts and come up with a v v v convincing excuse for the other person to have to leave. Jaeyoon would tell them some bullshit like that someone else needed them at that exact moment so they couldn’t initiate their conversation with you and that they better get to steppin. That person would fall for his diversion immediately and you would be free. Jaeyoon would have saved the day like a true angel but this little shit would stick his face out to you and look like he was waiting for something. You’d give the cute headass a kiss on the cheek and he’d consider the favor returned (idk why but i just imagined how unbelievably soft his cheek would be to kiss… i gotta go now).

Dawon:

No need to worry, Lee “Extra” Sanghyuk will come to your aid. That is, after he embarasses you. I’m almost certain that he wouldn’t even know that your eye signals to him were signals. He would practically scream to you from across the room to ask you wtf was up with your eyes or some shit like that and you would be completely justified to facepalm at this moment. After he noticed that you weren’t just trying out some new eyelid exercises, he’d realize that you wanted out of the conversation that you were trapped in and he’d “skillfully” get you out of it. He’d scream again, “JAGIYA. COME QUICK. I’M NEEDY… FOR… FOR YOU.” (that may or may not have been a dirty reference and no, i’m not the least bit ashamed of it ok maybe i am pls forgive me) Completely mortified from the confused look that you were getting from the person you were talking to and the amused looks that you were getting from the other members, you turned red as tomato. Usually you’d scream back at him to shut up when he did stuff like that (which would be v often) but you were so desperate to get out of the conversation that you were in that you smiled at the person across from you and excused yourself. You walked over to Dawon and gave him a death glare that practically burned right through him. Wising up real quick, this boy would gtfo and fast (rest in peace dawon it was nice knowin ya bud).

(ayyyyy lmao it’s my gif)

Zuho:

This boy is lowkey the most awkward human to ever exist so he’d be a confused noodle boy trying to help you (a lil off topic but also not, i honestly feel like zuho is also a v shy bun around people he doesn’t know but that could just be me). I feel like he too would not get your eye signals right away and would be a little puzzled, wondering why you were looking at him funny (i can see him being super confused lmaooooo). After he realized that he didn’t have something on his face or a bug in his hair or some shit, he would have a look of pure relief. You’d furrow your eyebrows at him to further hint that you needed his help and he’d try to frantically think of a way to get you away from the person talking to you. Juho would then kind of just noodle his way slowly over to the two of you and smile a little at the person across from you. He’d proceed hesitantly to ask them some random question that was so weird and out of nowhere that they’d stop mid-sentence just to stare at him in confusion. You’d already slipped away and you looked back at Zuho while he just stood there like a statue until the person got fed up and left. Your knight in shining armor would then look at you for approval and to check and see if you were okay like a kind boyfriend (he’s so pure i swear pls protect him from all danger).

Rowoon:

Rowoon’s spidey mom senses would be tingling at rates off the fucking charts and he would instantly know that you needed him (i’m laughing out loud rn bc i just picture the funniest look of worry spreading over his face). But, instead of formulating a plan of action ahead of his rescue mission, he would be next to you before he even knew what was happening. I feel like he’d be shook and not even remeber moving his legs to get over there or some crazy shit like that he’d be so fast at getting to you (it’s the freakishly long legs, man). He’d politely notify the person that you were talking that you were needed elsewhere and that he was very sorry for any inconvenience that your absence would cause. Due to Rowoon’s freakishly beautiful visuals and sparkling charm, the person would not question him, say goodbye to you, and leave. This concerned boyfriend would then make sure that you were unharmed and hold you tight to his chest v protective-like.

Taeyang:

Tae would be smooth af and would have you out of there in no time at all. He’d tune into your eye signals right away and would know just what to do (like it’d be scary how well he’d handle this shit). With a beaming smile, he’d make his way over to you and stand at your side. He would then greet the person that you were talking to and engage them in conversation, utilizing his sunshiney personality and dazzling smile (which is legit crafted from pieces of the sun n pure happiness i s2g) to distract them so that you could sneak away. Once you were safely out of range, he would expertly make up an excuse for him to leave and politely say goodbye to the person. The person that you didn’t want to talk to wouldn’t know what hit them and would be on cloud nine from just having an interaction with the literal angel that is Yoo Taeyang (as anyone would be) and you would be free. The two of you would probably then celebrate with a cute asf bubble tea date or some shit like that.

Hwiyoung:

This weirdo would have a rather… unconventional way of getting you out of the conversation. Hwi would see the distressed look in your eyes and try to figure out what the hell you were trying to tell him for a good 10 minutes or so and would eventually get it. He’d then think for a second before he executed his master plan. He would walk up behind the person that you were talking to while they were speaking to you. You would widen your eyes at him and he’d just put a finger over his lips to tell you to not alert the enemy of his presence. He’d then scare the living shit out of the person by screaming and touching their back quickly (lmfao i’m geeked). The person would be shocked and Hwiyoung would signal to you to get out of there while they were registering what the actual fuck just happened to them and you’d be able to escape. By the time the shocked victim of Hwiyoung’s attack got their heartbeat back to a normal speed, the two of you would be long gone (*sings* eojjeomyeon urin BONNIE AND CLYDEEEEE ok i’m done).

Chani:

Tbh I feel like it’d be more likely for something like this to happen to Chani himself (like I can totally see him accidentally getting himself into conversations that he’d rather die than be stuck in all the time lmfao poor thing). But if it was his boo thing in this situation, he would try his hardest to save you. He’d hesitantly come over to where the two of you were talking and stand calmly by your side. After listening to two or three sentences from the vigorous speaker across from you, he’d suddenly and dramatically point in the direction opposite of the two of you and shout, “WHOA, WHAT IS THAT?” And when the person talking turned around to try and see what the fuck he was pointing at, he’d grab you by the arm and run like hell. Once you guys were in the safety of literally anywhere that wasn’t there, you’d give him a kiss of the cheek and call him your hero while he was still out of breath from hardcore sprinting. The lil bun would blush but then front like he was tough shit and say, “Oh, that? That was nothing.”

(CAN WE JUST APPRECIATE THIS GIF FOR A SEC BC WOW)

#sf9 #sf9 reactions #sf9 imagines #sf9 scenarios #sf9 icons #sf9 gif #kpop reactions #kpop #kpop scenarios

[goforwardgreenwriter-blog]

The Worm Reads: Empire of Storms, Ch 5 - 6

“Last chapter was probably my favorite, and gave me hope that maybe everything won’t be so bad.” -a fool’s last words.

Aelin stared and stared at that piece of paper, at the names that had been signed long before tonight, the men who had decided against her without meeting her, the men who had changed her future, her kingdom, with just their signatures.

I feel like SJM is trying to make us feel sorry for Aelin, but.... no? She hasn’t proved herself worthy of being a queen at all! She flat out admits that these men have never met her - does she really expect these people to hand over the throne of their kingdom to someone they’ve never met?!?!?! WHAT IS gOING ON WHERE IS THE LOGIC

Aelin breathed, “Our doom gathers in the South of Adarlan—yet this is what you focus on?”

Umm yeah because the ruler of the kingdom is a very important job and one that is needed for war?? They need a strong leader to help guide them through the upcoming battles, Darrow is absolutely right to be concerned about this.

“The Bane,” Darrow spat, “is now ours to command. In the event that there is no fit ruler on the throne, the lords control the armies of Terrasen.”

You go Darrow! He’ll be the leader Terrasen needs and defend his kingdom while Aelin prances around demanding her crown be handed to her without her doing any work and threatening anyone who refuses to kiss her ass.

Something cold and oily clanged through [Aelin]. Marriage to a foreign king or prince or emperor. Would this be the cost? Not just in blood shed, but in dreams yielded? To be a princess eternal, but never a queen? To fight with not just magic, but the other power in her blood: royalty.

Hoo boy, the “I can’t marry for love but I have to marry for my kingdom” trope. I don’t mind this trope if it’s done well ( I guess I’m a sucker for that drama) but SJM is either gonna A. sweep it under the rug afterwards and never address it again, or B. milk the angst for all it’s worth and then come up with a last minute solution that doesn’t make Aelin have to make any decisions or compromises or work for her happy ending.

She had laughed once at Dorian—laughed and scolded him for admitting that the thought of marriage to anyone but his soul-bonded was abhorrent. She’d chided him for choosing love over the peace of his kingdom.

Karma is a bitch ain’t it

Aelin spoke into the dark, toward where Darrow was seated. “I suggest, Lord Darrow, that you become accustomed to this. For if we lose this war, darkness will reign forever.” There was a scratch and a hiss—then a match sputtered as it lit a candle on the table. Darrow’s wrinkled, hateful face flickered into view. “Men can make their own light, Heir of Brannon.”

Darrow literally takes no shit!! Why isn’t there fanart and posts dedicated to this bad ass old warrior instead of countless fans gushing over Aelin? Seriously, I’d ask for a Darrow backstory novel but SJM would fuck it up, no doubt.

But Aelin looked to Ren, his face tight. And over the roaring in her head, she said, “Whether or not you vote in my favor, there is a spot for you in this court. For what you helped Aedion and the captain do. For Nehemia.”

*chokes back on sobs* I miss when it was just Nehemia, Aelin, Dorian, and Chaol in the glass castle..... they really were simpler times.

Darrow expresses that Nehemia was a better princess than Aelin is (which is true) and references her death and Rowan fuckin’ threatens to kill him. So gg, you all are just proving Darrow’s point that none of you are fit for the responsibility of ruling/helping Aelin rule.

A messenger arrives and informs them that Rifthold will soon be under attack from the Ironteeth witches.

Aelin wondered if Manon Blackbeak would be leading the attack—if it’d be a blessing. The Wing Leader had saved them once before, but only as a payment for a life debt. She doubted the witch would feel obliged to throw them a bone anytime soon.

Ohhh is this foreshadowing that Manon is going to join Aelin’s side or am I reading into this too much? I’m worried that SJM is gonna reduce Manon to just another blind follower of Aelin hnghhh.....

Rowan’s hand brushed [Aelin’s]. “I will save him,” he murmured. “I wouldn’t ask this of you unless it was … Dorian is vital. Lose him, and we lose any support in Adarlan.” And one of the few magic-wielders who could stand against Morath.

Uhh and you’d lose one of your first friends you made after you were freed from the mines? The guy who you were once in love with? Seriously, she’s talking about Dorian as if he’s some weapon right now and not one of her best friends! I s2g as soon as Aelin met Rowan it was like Chaol and Dorian never existed in the first place and all that development she had with them got swept under the rug.

Since Darrow said that they needed allies, Aelin plots for them all to meet up in Skull’s Bay after Rowan rescues Dorian. Wait.... Skull’s Bay is from The Assassin’s Blade. But that means-

“I thought you knew Rolfe,” Aedion said. Aelin gave him a grim smile. “He and I parted on … bad terms, to say the least. But if Rolfe can be turned to our side…”

Rolfe!!! He was another interesting character from the first book (not a good guy, if I remember correctly, he owned slaves) who actually made Aelin work in order to beat him and gain victory. I’m excited to meet him again.

Alone with Rowan, Aelin said, “Darrow expects me to take this order lying down. But if we can rally a host in the South, we can push Erawan right onto the blades of the Bane.” “It still might not convince Darrow and the others—” “I’ll deal with that later,” she said, spraying water as she shook her head. “For now, I have no plans to lose this war because some old bastard has learned he likes playing king.”

Uhh fuck you?? For acting like Darrow is the bad guy here?? He cares about his kingdom and rather than let his grief over his deceased lover consume him, he fights hard to protect his people and makes sure the crown doesn’t go to anyone who will start a war over the stupidest shit. Fuck you Aelin, Darrow would be a much better ruler than you.

But if Rowan was caught, if Dorian was caught … “I can’t—I can’t let you go—” “You can,” he said with little room for argument. The voice of her prince commander. “And you will.” Rowan again traced her mouth. “When you find me again, we will have that night. I don’t care where, or who is around.”

That really is their only motivation at this point, huh? Aelin just wants this war to be over so she can bone her fae prince whenever she wants without any interruptions. I need a drink.

So Rowan leaves in hawk form to go rescue Dorian and Evangeline is going to stay with Murtaugh, since Aelin at least has the sense to not bring a child to a pirate paradise.

Aelin kissed the girl’s cheek and whispered into her ear, “Work your magic on these miserable old men while you’re at it.” She pulled away to wink at the girl. “Win me back my kingdom, Evangeline.”

I almost felt my heart melt at this cute interaction, but then I remembered that Aelin means Darrow and SJM wants the audience to hate him and that mood flew out the window. I’ll be the only Darrow stan on this website if I have to, damnit.

Aedion said to Ren, “Unless you want to swap one tyrant for another, I suggest you get the Bane and any others ready to push from the North.” Murtaugh answered for his grandson, “Darrow means well—” “Darrow,” Aedion interrupted, “is now a man of limited days.”

LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK AEDION!!!! Darrow rightfully denies Aelin the crown and you’re gonna fucking murder him? You need his alliance if you’re gonna win this war holy shit y’all are so fucking stupid!

Aelin said, “We don’t touch Darrow.” “What?” Aedion snapped. Aelin said, “I’d bet all my money that he’s already taken the steps to ensure that if he meets an untimely death, we never set foot in Orynth again.” Murtaugh gave her a grim, confirming nod. Aelin shrugged. “So we don’t touch him. We play his game—play by rules and laws and oaths.”

For once Aelin is finally using another method of negotiation other than killing people but stop framing Darrow as if he’s ~evil~ for not giving you your crown when you’ve done nothing to prove to any of the lords that you’re fit to rule! I am utterly baffled that SJM really thinks Darrow is in the wrong here.

So Murtaugh has been loyal to Aelin’s family, treated her with respect and kindness, and offered to look after Evangeline while they’re gone, so Aelin.... slices her palm and threatens him that if anything happens to Evangeline she will burn all of them. I’m not even joking.

Aelin clenched her bloodied palm into a fist, holding it in the air between them. “Because of that loyalty, you will understand what blood promises mean to me when I say if that girl comes to harm, physical or otherwise, I do not care what laws exist, what rules I will break.” Lysandra had now turned to them, her shifter senses detecting blood. “If Evangeline is hurt, you will burn. All of you.”

Seriously, can someone tell me if I’m going crazy?? AELIN THESE ARE PEOPLE WHO WANT TO BE YOUR ALLIES YOU CAN’T GODDAMN THREATEN ALL OF THEM!!!!! Murtaugh has not said one bad word to you and you’re threatening to burn him!!! WHAT THE FUCK AELIN THIS IS WHY YOU ARE NOT QUEEN YOU STUPID DKAHDFJAHFKDH

“Threatening your loyal court?” sneered a cold voice as Darrow halted a few feet away.

Oh thank god Darrow is here, a character who isn’t brain dead stupid. Seriously, number 1 Darrow stan right here.

Her heart strained, but Aelin said to Ren, that scar hidden by the shadows of his rain-drenched hood, “I wish we had time to speak. Time for me to explain.” “You’re good at walking away from this kingdom. I don’t see why now would be different.”

HOLY SHIT REN IS JOINING IN THE AELIN ROASTING!!! Ren and Darrow are the only good people in this entire goddamn kingdom.

Aelin said, “I promise you that no matter how far I go, no matter the cost, when you call for my aid, I will come. I promise you on my blood, on my family’s name, that I will not turn my back on Terrasen as you have turned your back on me. I promise you, Darrow, that when the day comes and you crawl for my help, I will put my kingdom before my pride and not kill you for this. I think the true punishment will be seeing me on the throne for the rest of your miserable life.”

>IMPLYING THAT DARROW WILL EVER NEED YOUR HELP YOU STUPID FUCKING ASSHOLE WHO CAN’T EVEN GET THROUGH A SIMPLE MEETING WITHOUT ALMOST STABBING SOMEONE

I FUCKING HATE AELIN SO MUCH TO THINK I WAS ON THE FENCE BEFORE HOLY FUUUUCK

Ungh... I can do this. So they finally get their asses moving and Aelin sees the Little Folk have left her another present.

Brannon’s temple on the coast had been rendered carefully—a clever little contraption of twigs and rocks to form the pillars and altar … And on the sacred rock in its center, they’d created a white stag from raw sheep’s wool, his mighty antlers no more than curling thorns.

Obvious foreshadowing is obvious.

Finally chapter 6 holy shit. Chapter 4 gave me hope that the book was picking up but chapter 5 just shit all over my hopes and dreams.

Dorian Havilliard, King of Adarlan, hated the silence.

Dorian’s POV! Sadly since the books utterly forgot of his existence aside from torturing him emotionally after book 2, Dorian doesn’t get a lot of attention anymore. I liked him in the first three books, but given what happened to the other characters, let’s see how SJM butchers him..........

He lifted his hands before the view, his palms callused from the exercises and swordplay he’d made himself start learning once more.

A ruler who teaches himself how to fight in order to help protect his kingdom? Fuck yeah.

Dorian has some inner turmoil about being held captive and tortured and the revelation that his father had been possessed by a demon for years, and it’s.... good? It’s well written, Dorian’s problems are understandable and sympathetic, and he’s clearly taking precautions so it doesn’t happen again. Nicely done!

Dorian flexed his fingers, frost sparking in his palm. Raw magic—yet there was no one here to teach him. No one he dared ask.

I mean, the poor guy can’t even control his magic because all his friends who have magic are off pretending to be a good queen. *glares at Aelin*

He was halfway through the pillars of books and papers when he spied the horizon. When his city began screaming. Spreading into the distance, blotting out the sunset like a storm of bats, flew a legion of wyverns. Each bore armed witches, roaring their battle cries to the color-stained sky.

And here we go! I’m hoping for a good action scene, since the witches are so badass (even though I feel bad for Dorian and his people). We also switch to Manon’s POV.

With the height and distance, Manon fully beheld the carnage as the horizon at last revealed the sprawl of the capital city. The attack had begun without her. Iskra’s legion was still falling upon it, still spearing for the palace and the glass wall that crested over the city at its eastern edge.

This build up is really good! I’m excited to see Manon kick ass (even though again, the people she’s fighting are innocent).

Manon aimed Abraxos for the stone castle atop the hill, barely peeking above that shining glass wall—the wall she had been ordered to bring down— and hoped she had not been too late in one regard. And that she knew what the hell she was doing.

A cliffhanger to end the chapter. Although the wording leaves me to believe Manon isn’t actually going to do any fighting, but we’ll have to wait and see.

#the worm talks #the worm reads: eos #anti sjm #anti tog #anti eos