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k1ng-for-a-day · 3 years

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Can you do fluff and nsfw headcanons the nurse x survivor s/o?i think sally deserves love.. thank you!

Good morning my beautiful demons. The king has finally arrived, and I like to say I’m VERY SORRY for the inactivity. Due to schooling, my motivation to create posts is AWFUL. So please stay patient! If I haven’t gone to your requests, then again I’m sorry.

(And also yes Sally needs more attention 🥺🥺)

(And sorry for this being so short. Again I’m having a huge lack of motivation. Either way thank you very much 💞💞)

The Nurse has arrived...

💊💉 Upon arrival to the realm, you made a quick realization that you were at the Crotus Penn Asylum. This was the worst place that you were put in due to the cathedral like building in front of you. Maybe it was due to the eerie feeling, but something or someone triggered terrible thoughts to your head. Syringes: These tiny little things made you feel nauseous every time it like you. Additionally it made you feel terrified each time one appeared near you. Hell, even when it’s on your hand you start to shriek! These small needles just made you curl up in fetal position, and weep on the floor. It was technically a phobia since it was that bad.

💊💉 Nevertheless you knew you what you had to do. Get generators done, attempt to hide, and escape without blood on your hands. That was all.

💊💉 When you finally reached your first generator, you quietly crouched down and walked towards it, attempting not to alert anyone. Once you reached it you decided to work on the wire portion of the machine since it was an immense hassle. You never enjoyed working these little strings of torment since they would always function improperly, or they would be inadequate. Additionally you despised the fact that it could possibly blow a fuse if you made the wrong plug in, use the incorrect wires, or simply have the incorrect tools for it. (However this only applied with the toolbox). Nevertheless your ambition got the better of you, and you persisted. You wanted to get this terrible gut feeling out of you, so you needed to complete this efficiently.

💊💉 Though you could feel the taste of an exit door holding you graciously, you accidentally put the incorrect wires together. As you stared for an hour or two, you shook your head in disbelief. Shit! They’re going to kill me! You thought for a brief moment, and you quickly went in hiding. You crouched down to a corner, and held onto your knees hoping the killer would just pass by you. The fear of something poking you at any instant grew immensely, and that uneasy gut feeling made you tremble weakly. Your fragile body being slashed at and picked up, your whole entire plan being frabricated in seconds; everything was seemingly ruined. But why did you have this hopeless feeling? There wasn’t anyone near you since there was no terror radius. Then again it could be Ghostface... You thought for a bit, but proceeded back to your Gen. and surprisingly it wasn’t kicked! You completed the generator in no time, and went running to the next one.

💊💉 The next generator you approached was with someone you knew, but never interacted too much with outside the trials. It was Meg: the athletic workaholic. She always loved to loop killers around, and annoy them somewhat. She’s always a bundle of joy during these types of circumstances, and tries to comfort other people. She’s also immensely competitive, yet plays fair. You always strived to be like her, but with her dedication and hard work it’s nearly impossible to make headway like she does. Nevertheless you crouched down next to her, and worked on a different portion of the Gen. This particular portion was the power supply. All you had to do was make sure the energy levels were all evenly dispersed, and if they weren’t you had to remove a piece and plug it in a different section. This was much more difficult to fail since it didn’t require experience with wires and such. It was just a simple “where does it go?” Type of deal. Unfortunately, Meg accidentally blew a fuse do to her sudden excitement. And even worse; you heard a terror radius. You didn’t know who it was in particular, but you were terrified needless to say. You quickly hid in a locker since it was the closest thing near you, even though you knew they would search it. You held onto your mouth, trying not to make a sound, and closed your eyes. You imagined that you were dancing in the middle of your room with your favorite song. The anxious feeling in your stomach was dissolving, but you still heard the terror radius coming closer, closer, and even closer... you started to cry softly, trying not to alert them, but it was too late.

💊💉 When you saw the killer, your eyes shot wide and tears ran down your cheeks. It was the nurse: the most terrifying killer you’ve ever met. You always heard rumors about the syringe she carries, and how aggressive she can be to other survivors. She’s so quick to her feet that she could easily pull you to the ground. It made you tremble immensely to the point you started to cry even more. You never really looked at her hand since you were afraid to encounter the weapon she would carry, but oddly enough she didn’t even take you. She just stared at you blankly, or you assumed she did, and simply patted your head. She realized how scared you were since you were either new to the place, or you had some sort of phobia. In attempt to make you feel a bit more happy, she picked up a flower that she found on the ground, and handed it to you. She then left you in your little closet, hoping that you would come out and feel much more stronger. And surprisingly you were more collected with yourself. You slowly went out of your locker, and walked back to your generator. It was kicked, but not insanely a lot. Just enough to motivate you to continue.

💊💉 And just like that you were finally finished! Now all you had to do was move on to the next generator. And you were done. And fortunately enough your team only needed one more Gen... Coincidentally it was near you, so course you ran towards it.

💊💉 While the nurse was distracted by the other survivors, slashing them one by one, you quickly worked on the wires, slowly placing them in the correct order. You were becoming use to the way everything was, I mean you were slightly new to the world of the entity.

💊💉 For a while you forgot how you ended up here, but that nurse you met reminded you of certain aspects: syringes, people with blurred faces, and a commotion in the halls. That was all you could gather from that meeting. It gave you a chill down your spine, even though now was not the time. You needed to concentrate on your goal, which was to finish the generator and leave. Luckily someone approached you with a soft smile, and that person was Adam. He seemed very nice and philosophical. He would always talk on and on about what he believed, what books he read, and his advice towards you. Sometimes it got to the point you would zone out and forget what you asked him. You could tell he was very intelligent, but his mouth was what led him to victory. Nevertheless you continued on your Gen until you heard a familiar noise... it was the nurse! She was coming straight towards Adam with her hatch saw!

💊💉 Weirdly enough you kept hearing people talk about her holding a syringe instead of a saw. Maybe it was to torment you since you were alarmed easily. But currently it made absolutely no sense why people would confuse such a dangerous object to something more painful like a saw. You shook your head in disbelief, and was about to finish the Gen, however you accidentally blew another fuse! Quickly and quiet you looked behind you, and crouched down near a corner. She was coming quickly and saw you right then and there. She simply stared at you again, and reached her hand out.

💊💉 “Dont be afraid dear child,” she spoke to you, “I won’t hurt you as long as you don’t hurt me.” Her voice seemed to be genuine, semi intangible, and monotone. You took a good look at her before reaching out your hand: she seemingly had a bag on her head for some odd reason. Additionally she had blood all over her white unform. Her blood was possibly due to the other victims she has come acrossed and attacked, but then again it could possibly from her past. You didn’t want to ask since you were terrified. Additionally she seemed very hesitant to actually take you with her. She wasn’t really to sure if she should’ve even picked you to take care of in the current situation. Either way she just hoped you got her message clear. She didn’t want to actually hurt you, she wanted to take you out alive. In response, you reached your hand out and touched her’s. It felt immensely cold, like an ice cube or even a glacier. She then pulled you up from your position, and led you back to your generator. She stood beside you, and let you work on the machine, hoping you would finish it soon enough. She then left you to complete it, and chased down other survivors as well.

💊💉 Once you finished your Gen, you ran to the exit and pulled the gate open as quickly as possible. Someone was near you as well, and that person was Zarina. She waited patiently for the door to open, and asked you a couple questions about your arrival. These questions being “how are you doing so far? Are you alright?” And other similar ones to make sure you were alright. She didn’t want you to be scared, but wanted you to relax for right now. She seemed nice to you, but you weren’t very sure of it. Again, you were still new to this realm, so you didn’t want to mess around too much. As the exit gate opens, you heard that same noise, and suddenly the nurse appeared again! She stood in front of you, holding her saw, ready to strike! But she didn’t... she just stood in front of you... “Be careful dear... others will be harsh...” she told you, somewhat unintangible. You nodded and was about to leave, but you turned back. “Thank you... very much..” you told her and left. For some odd reason you felt saddened for leaving her. It was strange..

💊💉 After you left, you remembered how you came here, but you could barely vision it. A hospital, an exit, patients galore. It all came back to you within seconds it seemed. Again you weren’t really sure of it too much. Nevertheless you wanted to see the nurse again, and talk to her. Even though it may seem difficult, she probably would actually talk to you but not so much. She barely has a tangible voice in general, so she probably would barely talk since it may hurt her.

💊💉 One day, you saw her again, and you tried to go up to her. However, unlike last time, she was much more harsher towards you. Instead of approaching you kindly, she chased you around, striking you or attempting to. This behavior made you immensely scared to the point you trembled to the ground. Then it hit you. Your memories, fears, and visions of that night... that one night that landed you here...

💊💉 From what you remember vaguely, there was a hospital you use to work at with many clients. Those patients were very needy, and forced you to do things for them. Those tasks were to give them more medicine every hour, everyday until they snap. This place felt like a living hell for you, especially since you had no idea why they wanted to be injected. It got to the point they labeled you as “Dr. Injector” in order to tease you. One day you stopped giving them their precious medicine, and explained to them that they were running out of samples. However, they believed that you were lying considering the fact that this was the most rich hospital in your state. They went after you, chasing you down the halls, ripping at your clothes, until suddenly you flew through the exit! Unfortunately it wasn’t what you had intended it to be. It was a void like substance, staring back at you with those saddened, terrified eyes. You then arrived at a new location, brimmed with fear.

💊💉 From that moment you started to cry, desperately trying to get up from where you were. Unfortunately she picked you up before you could escape, however she didn’t hook you. Instead she took you to a certain location and put you down. She patted your head gently, trying to reassure you. The other members of your team were completing generators, and here you were right next to the killer. She then began to speak, “I’m sorry... I had too...” she seemingly whispered, “the entity... was after me...”

💊💉 What basically happened was that the killers criticized her when she would spare new survivors, and try to act friendly. Once this rumor spread around, the entity started to get fed up with her bullshit, and forced her to kill ever single survivor. If she was unable to do so, he would take something precious from her, and burn it in a fire. He would then use her as a puppet or decoration for a new killed. You satred at her in disbelief, and hugged her gently. This was terrible: having to be forced into killing others just because of your friendly nature? It was unimaginable. She stared at you, with what you can assume a melancholy glint, and hit you softly. You instantly fell on the ground, and were hooked. You closed your eyes and let the entity sacrifice you...

💊💉 Once you were back at the lobby, you cried silently away from everyone. You really wanted to see her again, but it would be immensely difficult. Luckily the match was finally over, and all the killers might’ve been talking with each other. You slowly went over to the killer area, sneaking past several security type things, and entered the area. You slowly tried to find the nurse, but you were met with other killers instead. The first one you recognized was Ghostface, but he was talking with someone that you saw as well. Another survivor here? Is this normal..? Next you saw Michael talking with another killer, and then you saw her. The nurse all by herself, sighing in relief. You quickly ran up to her, trying not to get caught, and wanted to jump out to hug her. However, someone already caught you...

💊💉 The entity caught you in the act, and tried to drag you away from her! You tried to remove yourself from him, but it was no use! You kept being pulled back into your lobby, and you were immensely weakened! You could barely even stand!

💊💉 Once you realized your circumstance, you held onto your knees and started to cry. You knew it was no use in seeing her. It was unfortunate how you could never seen her again. Maybe not even in another match..

💊💉 The next day you heard someone or something enter the lobby. They were immensely quiet, but you recongnized the noise. It was her.. next to you... alone...

💊💉 “Hello my dear...” she whispered, “I’m sorry for not coming towards you...” she apologized, and you hugged her in response. You wanted to make sure she felt okay, comfortable, and happy. You told her about a vision you had the other day, and she sighed. It was similar to her story as well.

💊💉 Basically she moved into a small town with her husband, smiling hand in hand. However he unfortunately died, and she was alone. With no other way to sustain herself, she had to work at the Crotus Penn Asylum, which was filled with patients that verbally, physically, and even mentally abused her. One day she just snapped and killed them all. Their blood was all over the walls, the beds, and simply everywhere you looked. She went insane.

💊💉 You held her hand gently and tried to reassure her. You told her that Andrew’s death wasn’t her fault, and that she would be alright. You both ended up cuddling against each other until the next day. You were finally happy, and had someone with you to keep you comfortable. To keep you as safe as possible.

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stfredsa · 3 years

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𝐇𝐂 —— 𝐏𝐓𝐒𝐃 ( or: outside / inside scars ).

TW : domestic abuse , domestic violence , choking , gaslighting , ptsd . what follows is a more or less thorough rundown of fred’s post-traumatic stress disorder. because it’s loaded with triggers, most of it is placed under a read more for everyone’s safety. it’s not a clinical description of ptsd, obviously, but it’s a deeper insight in fred’s character and inner monologue, for sure.

“ every morning i wake up from a dream of you holding me —— underwater. is it a dream or a memory? ”

freddie still carries the signs of jimmy’s ( and not just his ) ABUSE — if anyone were ever allowed to see them, she’d smile apologetically and call them BATTLE SCARS. a mark inside her right forearm, from when he snuffed a cigarette out on her skin. a cut across the left side of her cleavage, when he was playing with a pocket knife once, and lost his patience on her. you could call her body a MAP of her suffering, though it doesn’t quite cut it — ‘suffering’ sounds like a passive action, the receiving of an act. the sad, darker truth is that, most times, she welcomed the abuse. it doesn’t matter how many scars or marks she still carries over her body — the scars he left in her mind go far, far deeper than them.

one of jimmy’s preferred ways of physically assaulting her was by GRABBING her by the neck, most times also CHOKING her. because of this, freddie can’t stand pressure around her neck any more, in any way: she only wears wide-necked shirts, tank tops or open shirts, and can’t stand turtlenecks at all. she also loathes the feeling of scarves or necklaces around her neck, and will usually have a knee-jerk reaction to anyone touching her neck for any purpose. slaps or any kind of smack to the face also elicit a similar response from her, as it also mirrors one of jimmy’s behaviors.

in the very first years after leaving him, LOUD / SUDDEN noises would trigger her immensely. the first week in ashford was spent at peter’s place, on his couch, in a relatively safe neighborhood: the lack of noises made it so that every little creak of the house, every gast of wind would have her JUMP at any moment. for this reason, she decided to force herself into a shock therapy of sorts, and picked an apartment in the WORST, loudest neighborhood in town: as traumatic as the first few nights were, the constant stream of sounds and shouting somehow helped her ease back into a condition of relative quiet.

SILENCE, for the above mentioned reasons, makes her terribly uneasy. most times when she can’t sleep at night it’s for a lack of noises: those nights she’ll get anxious and the only way to calm down will be having a smoke on the fire escape, where the sounds are louder and the distraction of the city below eases her right back into her quiet chaos.

jimmy had a thing for saying she was WRONG. inadequate, weak, just plain stupid. she’d roll her eyes at that, she’d pretend it didn’t matter much more than any other bullshit that would usually leave his mouth — at some point, however, the words started piling up inside of her. and the longer it went on without her being able to get out of that relationship, the more she felt POWERLESS against him, the more she started believing him. and this ripples throughout her life, it has an effect on her even now: because no matter how hard she may struggle for a decent life, no matter the relationships and bonds she’s made to keep herself grounded — she still feels like an OUTSIDER. in her mind, everyone’s healthy, functional, strong: she — she is just plain WRONG.

he was successful in bringing her so low because he knew WHEN to strike, too. because when she tried to react and fight back, the first thing he’d do was call her CRAZY. he’d gaslight her, turn things around, confuse her out of her mind and then he would hold her, talking down to her, treating her like a mad, helpless child — “POOR BABY”, he’d often say, “WHERE WOULD YOU BE WITHOUT ME?”. even now, being called CRAZY or any inflection of it is a huge trigger for fred. though she tries hard to maintain her calm, even just the word makes her stop dead in her tracks, a sudden fury rising inside of her, tears in her eyes. when in a fight, it’s the one surefire way to make her lose her cool altogether.

saying the WRONG THING at the wrong time could trigger jimmy’s anger, so at some point she learned how to think hard about anything she’d say. it wouldn’t always work, but even now she usually takes about ten seconds before responding to anything, sometimes even more. unless involved in a friendly conversation with someone she’s truly close with, when asked a question freddie will usually go quiet, let her eyes drift downward, then reply in a quieter tone of voice. it’s a natural response she’s not at all aware of, and it’s usually dropped with people she’s truly CLOSE with ( people she can honestly trust ). she also tends to stall, when talking — use certain formulas that will allow her to gain some more time to think ( “i mean”, “uh, uhm”, “i think -”, etc ).

one consequence of her fear of acting / saying anything is her difficulty with CHOICES. when presented with a choice of any kind ( even something as menial as picking a restaurant or a song ), fred tends to get uneasy and embarrassed, and will try to find a way out of it any way she can.

on the other hand, decisions that require EMOTIONAL COMMITMENT ( which is to say, anything relating to relationships and feelings ) trigger her FIGHT or FLIGHT response, and she’s been known to act illogically in these scenarios. it’s never a matter of thinking clearly, it’s a matter of feeling SAFE or not. which, most of the time, doesn’t even have to do with the other party involved: most times, it’s her own FEAR kicking in and blocking her every action.

tying to that last part, her ILLOGICAL thinking is also aimed at herself. freddie is RECKLESS and doesn’t hold her own well being in much account: she drives too fast, forgets to lock the doors at night, walks home alone after closing the bar each night. it’s not a conscious DEATH WISH — it’s more that, despite the TERROR of jimmy or victor catching up to her, she both EXPECTS it to happen and thinks she DESERVES it, at least unconsciously. in a way, she believes this is a reckoning that awaits her further down the line, and she spontaneously works to shorten the wait. because despite the brave face she puts on every day, despite the way she’ll smile and say ‘ it’s all gone now ‘, she lives in CONSTANT terror: any chance to end it, even in the worst possible way, she’ll take it.

last but not least, fred is extremely self-conscious about her body, because her body is littered with the signs of what she went through ( in her mind, something she was an accomplice to — in her mind, something she DESERVED ). there are a handful of thin, faded CUTS ( the most visible on her collarbone, but many can be found on her thighs and her abdomen ) that were not self-inflicted but mostly came from sick games her customers at the motel forced on her ( a few of them, like the one on her collarbone, where caused by jimmy when he was high and deranged ). a few cigarette marks can be seen over her forearms too, and a jagged whiteish line on the side of her right calf where the glass of a vase cut her after he’d smashed it to the ground. her body in general, even not counting the scars, feels like a burial ground for the woman she could’ve been and the million ways she was used. though she’s fine exposing her skin through revealing / scant clothing, being naked and exposed is a raw, intense experience she’ll reject as long as she can: seeing herself naked still brings up a darkness she can barely rationalize.

#FILE —— maybe i've always been more comfortable in chaos.#HC —— sometimes i feel like an inland ocean.#abuse /#domestic abuse /#ptsd /#choking /#knives /#scars /#smoking /#god i just.#remembered i wrote this awful awful thing on my old blog #so ofc i had to repost it and add a little to it #i'm in pain i'm SO IN PAIN RN

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stfreds-arc · 3 years

Text

HC / ptsd .

TW : domestic abuse , domestic violence , choking , gaslighting , ptsd . what follows is a more or less thorough rundown of fred’s post-traumatic stress disorder. because it’s loaded with triggers, it’s placed under a read more for everyone’s safety. it’s not a clinical description of ptsd, obviously, but it’s a deeper insight in fred’s character and inner monologue, for sure.

“ every morning i wake up from a dream of you holding me —— underwater. is it a dream or a memory? ”

freddie still carries the signs of jimmy’s ABUSE — if anyone were ever allowed to see them, she’d smile apologetically and call them BATTLE SCARS. a mark inside her right forearm, from when he snuffed a cigarette out on her skin. a cut across the left side of her cleavage, when he was playing with a pocket knife once, and lost his patience on her. you could call her body a MAP of her suffering, though it doesn’t quite cut it — ‘suffering’ sounds like a passive action, the receiving of an act. the sad, darker truth is that, most times, she welcomed the abuse. it doesn’t matter how many scars or marks she still carries over her body — the scars he left in her mind go far, far deeper than them.

one of jimmy’s preferred ways of physically assaulting her was by GRABBING her by the neck, most times also CHOKING her. becaus of this, freddie can’t stand pressure around her neck any more, in any way: she only wears wide-necked shirts, tank tops or open shirts, and can’t stand turtlenecks at all. she also loathes the feeling of scarves or necklaces around her neck, and will usually have a knee-jerk reaction to anyone touching her neck for any purpose. slaps or any kind of smack to the face also elicit a similar response from her, as it also mirrors one of jimmy’s behaviors.

in the very first years after leaving him, LOUD / SUDDEN noises would trigger her immensely. the first week in ash meadows was spent at peter’s place, on his couch, in a relatively safe neighborhood: the lack of noises made it so that every little creak of the house, every gast of wind would have her JUMP at any moment. for this reason, she decided to force herself into a shock therapy of sorts, and picked an apartment in the WORST, loudest neighborhood in town: as traumatic as the first few nights were, the constant stream of sounds and shouting somehow helped her ease back into a condition of relative quiet.

jimmy had a thing for saying she was WRONG. inadequate, weak, just plain stupid. she’d scroll her eyes at that, she’d pretend it didn’t matter much more than any other bullshit that would usually leave his mouth — at some point, however, the words started piling up inside of her. and the longer it went on without her being able to get out of that relationship, the more she felt POWERLESS against him, the more she started believing him. and this ripples throughout her life, it has an effect on her even now: because no matter how hard she may struggle for a decent life, no matter the relationships and bonds she’s made to keep herself grounded — she still feels like an OUTSIDER. in her mind, everyone’s healthy, functional, strong: she — she is just plain WRONG.

#me: im gonna make icons #me: writes the hc of death instead #i truly hate myself for writing this but i had to #i just rly wish jimmy fucking choked #ptsd /#domestic abuse /#domestic violence /#gaslighting /#emotional abuse /#choking /#hc.

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dragonkeeper19600 · 4 years

Text

Super Mario Bros.: Fallen Star AU (Part 1)

This is an AU I’ve been developing for a while. It’s basically my take on the stock “Bowser defeats Mario and conquers the Mushroom Kingdom” scenario. I haven’t decided if I want to do this as a fan fic, a series of fan fics, a comic series, whatever, so I decided I might as well lay out the basics here.

The name “Fallen Star” is a double entendre. The first meaning refers to the weapon Bowser uses to conquer the Mushroom Kingdom: a star that fell from the sky. The course of history in the Mario world is often determined by the presence of stars and other celestial bodies on Earth, the Power Stars, the Beanstar, the Dark Star, the Shine Sprites, the Cobalt Star, etc. All of these entities contain great power and great capacity to be used for either good or evil, but one star proved itself more devastating, more uncontrollable than all the others. This was the Havoc Star, which fell to Earth in a fiery blaze.

The Havoc Star crashed into the ocean, and the force of its impact was so great that it caused flooding in coastal cities around the world. Bowser’s forces found it smoldering in the sea depths, the water around it broiling to a white heat. They managed to contain it with Kamek’s magic and unleashed it as a weapon on the Mushroom Kingdom.

All stars are living beings, but this star seemed heedless of any attempts to communicate with it. It couldn’t be controlled or reasoned with, the only voice it had seemed to be a scream. Bowser didn’t see it as a sentient being and instead as an infinite energy source to be pointed in the general direction of a target.

The devastation this thing wreaked on the Mushroom Kingdom was total, and there was a lot of collateral damage even among Bowser’s own forces, as Kamek’s attempts to wrangle it relied a lot on trial and error. Even Bowser grew uneasy at the extent of its power, but he was far too prideful to admit to his fear and carried on laying waste to the Mushroom Kingdom.

Mario and Luigi had no way to fight this thing. They decided to focus their efforts on evacuating as many of the Toads out of the Kingdom as possible, hoping to buy time for the Star Sprites to find a solution. But, they are only two men, and the star was more powerful than both of them. Luigi is captured, and Mario and Peach are forced to go into hiding. Bowser takes the opportunity to install himself in the now vacant Peach Castle.

Alone together, Mario decides to make one final bid to stop Bowser. Peach will run for the border while Mario takes one last stand against Bowser.

And this is the second meaning of “Fallen Star” because Mario never returns from this encounter.

Mario throws down with Bowser inside of Peach’s Castle, but when Mario gains the upper hand, Bowser orders Kamek to unleash the Havoc Star on the castle with the two of them still inside.

Kamek is alarmed and refuses at first, but Bowser is seeing red.

He’s basically razed the Mushroom Kingdom to the ground and still Peach eludes his grasp?

The only thing left for it is to burn everything.

So, the Havoc Star is set loose upon Peach’s Castle, where it proceeds to tear it apart.

Bowser manages to escape by the skin of his teeth.

But, Mario is pinned under falling rubble and unable to get away,

So the castle collapses with him inside it.

When the smoke clears, and there’s nothing left of the castle but blackened stone,

Bowser is in a state of shock.

Somehow, he didn’t expect Mario to actually die.

The reality of it is only now sinking in.

And, he doesn’t know what he feels.

Meanwhile, Luigi is being held prisoner in the dungeon of Bowser’s castle

Because he’s too dangerous to let loose.

Bowser actually gives him the news in person.

He’s halting and awkward with it. He doesn’t attempt to console Luigi, but there’s something almost regretful in his words.

Luigi’s brain is a blank.

He can’t comprehend what’s being said to him.

All he knows is that Bowser must be lying.

He sits in that dungeon for months, waiting for Mario to rescue him.

And as each day goes by without any sign of his brother,

A horrible, all-consuming terror takes hold of Luigi’s soul.

What if it’s actually true?

Three months go by of Luigi trying, with increasing desperation, to stamp down the awful possibility.

But then, finally, one day, there’s chaos up above.

Someone is storming the Bowser’s Castle.

Luigi hears crashing, blasting, all kinds of foundation-rocking noise

Before a masked person drops into his cell.

The person with the mask blasts a hole open in the wall,

And pulls Luigi out into a waiting airship.

Only when the airship is flying away does his rescuer remove their mask.

It’s Daisy.

Daisy is overjoyed to see Luigi, but Luigi only has one question:

“Is Mario with you?”

The look on Daisy’s face says it all.

For the first time in three months, Luigi breaks down completely.

Everything, everything is gone.

Everything has lost its color.

Daisy just holds him as he cries.

When they arrive back in Sarasaland, they are greeted by an anxious Peach.

She made it out.

She, and the other Toads that managed to escape, are hiding out in Sarasaland.

Daisy and the rest of the Sarasaland nobility have been spreading rumors of Peach taking refuge elsewhere.

They have most of Bowser’s forces convinced that Peach has run to the Lunar Kingdom with plans to head deeper into the galaxy.

Only Daisy, her father, and the other four kings know that Peach is actually in Sarasaland.

For the first few weeks of his own exile in Sarasaland, Luigi doesn’t see much of Peach.

He seems to be numb to the world. He sleep walks through his day.

At night, he’s wracked with sobs and can’t catch a single wink.

Daisy, to her credit, doesn’t leave his side during all this time.

She spends all day with him, she encourages him to eat, she lies next to him at night.

She feels overwhelmed.

She’s grieving for Mario, too, but she knows Luigi is feeling an anguish beyond her comprehension.

She feels inadequate.

But, Luigi clings to her desperately each night.

After a month, Daisy tells Luigi she has to tell him something important.

It’s a struggle for Luigi to hear what anyone else is telling him.

But Daisy has such a serious look on her face that Luigi summons the effort to pay attention.

“Maybe we should’ve told you sooner, but we didn’t want to overwhelm you with so many things at once.

“Peach is pregnant.

“You’re going to be an uncle.”

Shock. Even greater than the moment in the cell.

When? How?

Daisy admits she doesn't know all the details.

“After all. I wasn’t there.”

But, apparently, that last night before Mario left to fight Bowser,

Peach and Mario knew there was a decent chance they might both die.

They didn’t want to leave anything unsaid or undone.

Daisy wonders if perhaps a baby was the outcome Peach was hoping for.

To carry on his legacy, you know?

Luigi is distraught.

It’s Mario’s baby. He should be here.

Daisy agrees. Mario should be here.

But, Luigi is here.

Peach needs him.

Daisy takes Luigi to see Peach immediately after.

Her smile is apologetic.

She asks Luigi how he feels.

He says he doesn’t know.

Which is fair.

It’s a lot to process.

Peach says the baby is doing well.

Toadsworth was evacuated too, and he never leaves her side.

Luigi doesn’t need to worry.

She tells Luigi the baby will probably have a lot of questions about its legacy.

Luigi will be able to answer questions that she doesn’t know the answer to.

Also, she wants the baby to know Italian.

Mario taught her some things, but she isn't fluent.

She doesn’t want the baby to lose that part of its heritage.

She’s gushing, saying too many things at once.

She’s wrought with emotion, too. She hardly knows what she’s saying.

But, the last thing she says is,

“I’m so glad you’re here, Luigi.

“I give thanks everyday that you’re here.”

It’s strange, but the news of the baby seems to rally Luigi.

While obviously still grieving, the darkness that had weighed him down seems to lighten somewhat.

He seems more awake, more alive.

Whenever Peach asks for something, its practically a race between him and Toadsworth who can get it to her first.

Luigi, as the younger, has the advantage.

He holds her hair back when she needs to puke, he gets up in the dead of night to make her food.

Though she knows it isn’t fair, Daisy grows jealous.

Luigi is spending so much time with Peach, and the baby seems to unite them in a way that leaves Daisy feeling left out.

Besides, she knows that Luigi never really stopped being attracted to Peach.

But, Daisy is enough of an adult not to go to Peach with these feelings.

Instead, she communicates them to Luigi in a very apologetic, mature way.

She admits she feels like a failure. She wasn’t able to help Luigi like Peach was.

Luigi is surprised that she thinks of herself that way.

He tells her he’s immensely grateful for how kind and patient she has been with him.

How patient she’s still being with him.

Daisy saved his life. He’s never forgotten that.

Daisy presses her hand to her mouth to hide her smile.

But, she can’t hide her tears.

She though she hadn’t been able to help Luigi with his grief.

But all this time, Luigi thought of her as his hero.

The months pass, and the time comes.

In a cottage hidden away from the world, Peach goes into labor.

Luigi and Daisy wait outside while Peach is attended to by a doctor.

After a while, Daisy is called into the room.

Peach has asked for her.

Daisy is taken aback.

“Why me!?”

The nurse says she doesn’t know. Peach asked for her specifically.

Daisy heads inside nervously.

She don't know nothing about birthing no babies.

Luckily, Peach just wants Daisy to hold her hand.

She tells Daisy she didn't ask for Luigi because she didn’t want him to panic.

Daisy laughs nervously.

Joking around like this, it almost feels like old times.

Eventually, Luigi hears the baby cry.

Daisy comes outside and gives the thumbs up.

It’s all good.

In the months leading up to this moment, when Peach and Luigi were discussing names, Peach admitted she didn’t want to name the baby after Mario.

Mario’s name would already be a huge part of the baby's life.

Peach wants the baby to have its own identity.

Luigi is touched that Peach understands.

Anyway, it’s a moot point, since the baby is a girl.

The doctor tells Luigi he can go in and see them.

He goes.

Peach looks exhausted, but happy.

The baby is sleeping.

Luigi can’t believe how beautiful the baby is.

Peach agrees.

“We did good, huh?

“Would you like to hold her?”

Luigi is nervous.

He’s afraid he’ll drop her.

Peach says she trusts him.

Luigi takes the baby.

She’s so light.

She doesn’t wake up, only stirs under the blanket.

They’re a banished princess and a disgraced hero, both living in exile,

But home is right here in his arms.

The Italian word for star is stella.

It seemed like a perfect name.

“Hello, Stella.

“I’m your uncle.”

#super mario bros #fallen star au #mario #luigi #princess peach #princess daisy #bowser #angst #character death #havoc star #stella #depression #grief #fan fic #au

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katedoesfics · 4 years

Text

Shadows of Hyrule | Chapter 21

Tuesday. Another day in the week, yet also another day closer to the end of the year. Link was counting down the days; just five weeks left. Twenty-four school days. The closer he got, the longer the days started to feel. He wasn't sure if he would make it to the end alive. Quite literally, in fact. As each day passed, he found himself growing more and more anxious about the coming war, with no clue as to when Ganondorf would make his appearance, and if he would even be able to stop the evil destruction that would surely follow.

Link stared down at the pages on his desk. Unfinished equations stared back. Although, this time, they didn't seem quite as daunting. In fact, he was sure he knew the answer to at least some of them. It seemed his studying was actually starting to pay off. If he kept on like that, he was certain he'd make it through to senior year. That is, if he managed to stay alive until then.

“Link.”

Link jumped light in his seat, but no one in the room had seemed to notice, too occupied with their noses in their tests. He glanced around quickly, then met Zelda’s gaze. It was apparent to him that she had heard it, too, her brows knit together in confusion. But it had been over a month since they had heard the voice of the sword. Why was it calling for him now?

“Link?” This time it was Mipha who spoke, whispering to him. Her brows knit together. “Did you fall asleep again?”

He jumped at the sound of Mipha's voice. He looked around once more, this time catching Paya’s gaze from the back of the room. Her brows furrowed together as she tried to read Link’s expression.

“Yeah,” Link muttered, turning back to Mipha. “I guess so.”

“ Link.”

Something was wrong. He turned his gaze out the window, and that’s when he noticed the strange dark patch in the sky. He squinted his eyes in an attempt to understand what he was seeing. The patch was a darkness unlike anything he had seen before. Blacker than any shade of black he could imagine. It seemed to split the sky, just slightly at first. It pulsed for a moment, then flashed erratically like static on a tv. The flashing grew more erratic for another moment before the hole in the sky disappeared completely.

If It weren't for Zelda's squeak of fear, Link would have sworn his mind was playing tricks on him. He twisted around in his seat to see Zelda. She had her hand over her mouth in an attempt to keep herself from screaming, but her face was pale, her eyes wide with horror.

Ms. Muller looked up from her desk and peered at Zelda. “Are you alright?”

Zelda moved her horrified gaze from the teacher, to Link, then back to the teacher. She started to stutter and babble incoherently. The teacher furrowed her brows together.

“Are you going to be sick?”

Zelda nodded quickly and hurried out of the room, the door slamming behind her.

Link turned his gaze back out the window, noticing then the dark split had returned to the sky. But this time, it seemed to be closer, somewhere in the city, and it grew larger, spreading sharply. It opened and grew for a few moments before it finally stopped. Link watched as three dark figures seemed to fall from the portal, disappearing behind the tree line at the edge of the city.

“Link!”

Link stood abruptly, his heart racing. He met the teacher’s gaze for a brief moment but gave up trying to think of an excuse. Instead, he hurried out of the room, ignoring her shouts behind him.

“Link!”

He turned to his right and saw Zelda peering from around the corner, her face pale. He trotted to her side as she began to panic.

“What the hell is happening? How has no one else noticed that?”

Link pulled her wrist and they sprinted down the empty hallway, following it until they reached his locker.

“What are we doing?” she asked, her voice shaking. “We can’t go out there!”

“I’m getting the sword,” Link said. He worked to steady his shaking hands as he tried and failed to spin the correct code on his locker. “Something fell out of the sky. I have a feeling it has to do with Ganondorf.”

“The sword?” Zelda straightened and narrowed her eyes at him. She threw her arms in the air. “Are you insane? Call the cops! Get a gun! Blow that shit up! What are you gonna do with that damn sword?”

“No one else can see it but us,” Link hissed at her. “Impa wouldn’t have wasted her time with us if this was something that could just be blown to bits by the army. The Master Sword is here for a reason.”

Zelda’s mouth opened, but no words came out. She stared blankly at Link, still trying to process everything that was happening. But Link grew impatient with her. There was a faint glow from behind the locker door. His brows knit together as he tried once more to unlock the door. He forced his breathing, his mind, and his hands, to slow, working steadily until the lock clicked. He yanked up, then threw the door open, revealing the Master Sword. He pulled it out, slamming the door behind him, and grabbed Zelda's wrist once more.

“W-wait,” she stuttered out as she fell into a sprint behind him. “I can't do this! I don't have any power!”

Link stopped abruptly, turning to her, but his expression was softer than she had expected. “Right,” he said. “You should stay here then. I'll take care of it.”

Zelda's brows knit together angrily. “I don't think so! This is just as much my problem as it is yours!”

“But you have no power. You'll be useless out there.”

Zelda's hands balled into fists at her side. “I'm not useless,” she sneered at him. “We can stop at the shrine first. I'll take one of the swords there.”

Link raised a skeptical brow at her. “Yeah, okay.”

“We're wasting time,” she hissed. “You're not going without me.”

“Fine,” he muttered. He turned and sprinted down the hall way with Zelda on his heels. They burst through the front doors of the school and across the street, narrowly avoiding the cars as they came to a screeching halt. They ignored the drivers as they leaned to shout out their windows, only a few brows raised at the boy with the sword in his hand.

They cut across backyards and skipped crosswalks as they took the fastest, most direct path to the shrine. To their surprise, Impa was nowhere to be found when they reached the shrine. But Zelda helped herself to one of the better swords in the shrine, hung with care on the wall. She snagged one that seemed light enough to hold, bounced in her hand for a moment to test its weight, then nodded to Link.

“You don't have to do this,” Link said once more.

“Yes, I do,” she said fiercely. “This is my destiny, just as it is yours.”

“I really wish it wasn't,” he muttered, then sighed. “Besides. We don't even know what we're going up against. What if this is Ganondorf's big entrance?”

“That's unlikely,” she said. “If I learned anything from the Sheikah, it's that Ganondorf always has a plan, and he never does anything alone. He has an entire army of monsters to cause havoc for him. And most of the time, they're just a distraction.”

“That seems like a pretty important item to consider,” Link said.

“A distraction? Maybe.” Zelda hesitated. “Either way, whatever those things are that you saw – they need to be stopped. They will kill. The less reinforcements Ganondorf has, the better.”

Link still felt uneasy. If it was a distraction, what could Ganondorf be going after? Who was in danger? His father? Aryll? Mipha? His stomach knotted. “I don't like this.”

Zelda shifted her weight to her back forth, a hand on her hip. “Then what do you propose we do?”

“I don't know,” he admitted, turning his gaze out the window. “To be honest, I didn't think any of this would actually happen.”

“Well, it's happening,” Zelda snapped. “And we're the only ones who can stop it.”

She was right, of course, but it didn't make him feel any better. In that moment, he felt very underprepared and inadequate, all of his earlier confidence completely gone. It was real now; he couldn't pretend otherwise. He couldn't swing a sword around haphazardly and brace himself when Impa hit his knees with the bokken. If he misstepped, his life would end in the blink of an eye, and all of Hyrule – and the world – would fall to Ganondorf. This was what he was practicing for; his destiny. Hyrule was doomed.

“We're fucked,” he muttered.

Zelda stepped closer to him, taking his hand in hers. She smiled warmly at him. “I believe in you,” she said.

“Really?”

Zelda's brows furrowed, her warm smile dissolving into an angry snarl. “No. We're fucked, and its all thanks to you.”

Link sighed. “Thanks,” he grunted.

“What do you want?” she said. “A speech? Because I got nothing.”

“No, no,” Link said, waving her off. “Its cool. You'll make a great queen someday. You'll inspire the whole world.”

“You're the hero, here,” she retorted. “You're supposed to be the inspiration. Millions of little children will look up to you and wish to be just like you when they grow up, okay? So just fight the fucking monsters!”

Link grinned and let the Master Sword rest on his shoulder. “Yeah?”

Zelda rolled her eyes. “Yeah.”

“Alright,” he said, sucking in a breath. “For all my little idols. We'll fight the monsters.”

“That's the spirit,” Zelda grunted, pulling him by his wrist. They hurried out of the shrine and made their way through the city, towards where the monsters had dropped from the sky, onward to their first battle in their war against Ganondorf.

#soh #soh21 #chapter 21 #shadows of hyrule #loz #botw #fic #fanfic #legend of zelda #breath of the wild

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anjagnorisis-blog · 6 years

Photo

Artist: Conor Oberst Author: Conor Oberst Album: Ruminations Year: 2016 Genre: alternative/folk/anti-folk

TITLE

A “next of kin” (NOK) is a person’s closest living blood relative or relatives. It is a legal definition in the United States (where Conor lives). According to legal systems, in cases of medical emergency, the next of kin may participate in medical decisions when their relative is incapable of such. This term is not used anywhere in the song itself, except for the title. Its nature, related to legal issues (jargon), may indicate that the author wants to separate himself from the issues presented in the song (death, loss, hopelessness) by using a term which doesn’t necessarily have any emotional connotations in order not to feel sadness himself. He may also use it ironically to point out that people, when in difficult, life-challenging situations (such as death of a beloved person), are limited to the system and its bureaucratic procedures, having no room left for sentiment, nostalgia and pain.

VERSE 1

The speaker admits to seeing a (supposedly) car crash on the interstate highway which moved him deeply to the point he couldn’t get rid of the feeling. The crash must’ve been fatal, with certain person(s) dead as a result, since he ironically points out that the dead person’s relative (next of kin?) must be notified, as restricted in a database. The speaker now reveals that he is, in fact, to notify the relative. He again admits that he feels uneasy as he doesn’t want to call that person nor inform them. Did he know the deceased? Does he know the relative? Or is he just as empathetic? He tells the relative that he has bad news and asks them to sit down to not fall unconscious (possibly). It’s worth to notice that the mentioned “interstate” sounds similar when pronounced to “intestate” which refers to the condition of the estate of a person who dies without having made a will or other declaration.

VERSE 2

We now switch to a different scenery. We’re presented with an image of a bathrobe hanging on somebody’s bedroom door. It belonged to a woman who’s clearly a year gone by the time. Her closest one, possibly a relative, a man (a husband? partner? father? brother? A partner more than anyone else, given the image of a shared bedroom) buried her body by a sycamore, a tree which in Catholicism symbolizes clarity (Zacchaeus climbing it to see Jesus clearly among a crowd of people). The tree is a symbol of place in the lives of Catholics where they’re able to have a clear vision of Jesus, their savior. In Egyptian Texts, two sycamore trees stood at the eastern gate of Heaven. Between the trees the Sun God, Ra, showed himself each morning. It is believed that a sycamore tree and its valuable wood (often used to carve sarcophagi, or coffins) was a symbol of protection for the Egyptians during the journey from life to death. I think it’s safe to say that the author could’ve had both symbolic connotations in mind. He tells us that the man, grieving his wife’s death, buried her under the sycamore. By “the” & the following line we know it’s not a random one, but possibly a tree growing in their garden or somewhere near home, since the man wants to “keep his wife/partner close”, aka wants to have “the best view” to visit her grave often and to have it protected, near. We’re later told that “it”, the man’s partner’s death was devastating to him both emotionally and physically. It “made him old” which may refer to him changing physically (people’s hair, for example, can turn gray within seconds of a traumatic experience) or/and mentally (loss of a loved one is a life-changing experience which provides people with both trauma and knowledge). The man tries to “rebuild” something. His heart? His body? His life? His faith? but he can’t do it, because it deteriorates instead. He’s told by people that that’s the routine of life, that’s what happens - death is real and will affect you, everyone experiences loss, you can’t do anything about it, but he doesn’t want to deal with it that way, he’s unable to come to terms with it.

VERSE 3

Now the speaker addresses the listener/reader. He tells us - “you” - that you can’t perform onstage when you drink too much. When a “star” is born something needs to die - he paraphrases the issue presented e.g. in Andersen’s tale “The Little Match Girl” where the protagonist is told by her grandmother that when somebody dies - a star falls from the sky. The speaker, possibly the author himself, knows the difficulty of being a known artist - drinking problems, the possible loss of one’s true identity which needs to “die” in order for their new image - “a star” to emerge, to please the audience. It doesn’t only need to refer to a musician/artist’s fate though, because one doesn’t need to be a singer to “perform” aka present, carry out, fulfill or accomplish anything. This verb may refer to any actions one can take, including the most basic ones. “Get too drunk” = make yourself unstable so you can’t do anything right. One thing also has to end in order for something else (sometimes better) to start. For us, for the speaker, for the author. For everyone. Later, the speaker clearly shows us his own perspective on the issues as he admits to having “spread his anger like Agent Orange”. Now, Agent Orange is a defoliant, most notably used by the U.S. military during the Vietnam War which caused major health problems for anybody who was exposed to it. By “spreading his anger” like a chemical the speaker confesses that he was open with his negative emotion in a toxic, contaminating and damaging way, to himself and other people, probably. He then admits that he did randomly, against the better judgment, as being “indiscriminate”, just like Agent Orange affecting the lives of Vietnamese people. He talks about how he met Lou Reed and Patti Smith (both valid counter-culture icons of the 70s, musicians and poets, self-taught and independent, charismatic) which didn’t have any crucial impact on him anyway. He thinks that yet another loss - of innocence, made him indifferent already. Also, you should never meet your heroes.

VERSE 4

Who’s a “she” mentioned at the beginning of the first line? That’s possibly the trickiest line of them all. A partner? A girlfriend? A mother? The aforementioned Innocence? She’s definitely known to the speaker and has the edge over him by “winning the fight”, possibly an argument or a game (like poker) by “calling his bluff” i.e. challenging the speaker to reveal his real intentions (like a card) to unmask him and show his weakness. “She” is smart and skilled. The speaker, as a result, runs away and notices the night has already begun. It is hot, too which can be unusual to some of the listeners since there’s no more sun at night thus the heat decreases. He points out that he has a lighter which doesn’t seem to work and admits that he shouldn’t smoke anyway. The lighter may symbolize the urge or possibility to do nasty things which never seem to work thus it’s better for the speaker to not continue on this path. He says he’s already on his way, “free to leave” as though he can go away already, not restrained nor limited anymore. He walks down the Bowery, fast. The Bowery is a street and neighborhood in New York City. The area was infamous for the number of low-brow concert halls, brothels, pawn shops and flophouses, welcoming all those considered outcasts or degenerates. This line can make the “she”-problem clearer then by adding more possible interpretations . A “she” can be a prostitute, an opponent in illegal poker game, maybe. The speaker cries and through his tears, yet another obstacle, he can’t see the road/path/way before him but he admits and assures us that he managed to get back home; to what’s familiar, close, near, comfortable and considered safe, known.

SUMMARY:

Conor Oberst’s “Next of Kin” tells a story of loss and acknowledgement of it. A story of feeling lost and inadequate, nervous and anxious. A story of failing at living with pain. A story of losing innocence, purity and dignity. A story of understanding loss, facing up to it and finding a way to what is always there, sometimes abandoned and neglected - home. Our own sensible selves.

#Conor Oberst #Bright Eyes #Ruminations #Conor Oberst lyrics #Lyrics analysis #Lyrics interpretation #Poetic analysis #Poetry interpretation #Poetry analysis #Poetic interpretation #2016 #Song analysis #Song interpretation

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littlerose13writes · 6 years

Text

The First Five Years: 2001

31st December, 2001

Pain.

That was all Ginny could register as she felt herself come to, presumably somewhere on the pitch after her fall. For a Chaser who had once continued playing with a broken wrist, using just her good hand to expertly catch and aim the quaffle (and the Harpies had still won), pain was nothing new to Ginny. She prided herself on her ability to push through injuries; it drove Gwenog insane.

But this was something new, this was pain on a level Ginny couldn’t remember experiencing since her awful, painful sixth year of Hogwarts. She felt as if she’d been given a round or two of the Cruciatus curse.

Ginny went to lift her head from the surprisingly soft pitch, but it was so heavy she could barely manage it. She blinked against the horrid sensation.

“Gin? Ginny? Ginny?!” a familiar voice sounded anxious and steadily louder as its owner got closer from somewhere behind Ginny’s head. Harry was here, of course he was, he was in the stands watching the game. One of those rare but glorious times his day off had coincided with her match.

Since Ginny had been promoted from the smaller International League to the British League and they’d moved back to their flat in Holyhead, Harry was rarely able to watch her games the way he had done when they were travelling together. But once in a while, a match came up that he could attend.

Ginny adored these moments, when she could feel sheer pride radiating from her boyfriend as he watched her fly. They’d never made it through an entire season as team mates but this was even better. She loved seeing Harry there for her, the Holyhead Harpies logo shining brightly on everything he wore, and cheering for her ferociously.

“She’s awake!” Harry entered her vision and it was only then that Ginny realised she couldn’t have been lying directly on the pitch, as Harry’s concerned face was only a few feet above her and he was standing over her.

“Where’s the Healer? Quickly, I’ll find him! George, get mum!” Ginny recognised her brother’s voice from somewhere nearby as Harry gently and softly placed a hand on her cheek.

That was weird. Ron hadn’t been at the game. It was then that Ginny recognised that there was no sight of the sky above her, in fact she was most definitely indoors.

“Harry?” she asked, surprised at how faint her own voice sounded. “What’s going on?”

He continued to gently stroke her face and smooth her hair as he spoke. “You don’t remember, they said you might not.” Ginny could feel herself starting to come to, she was increasingly aware of her surroundings, realising there was a pillow beneath her head. “You’re in St Mungo’s, Ginny.”

“St Mungo’s? I can’t be! The game!” Ginny tried to push herself up but Harry stopped her.

“No, Gin, you fell from your broom and you’ve been here all night. It’s New Year’s Eve.” Ginny stared into her boyfriend’s face, trying to read his expression. This wasn’t Harry’s idea of a joke. She noticed he was pale and his eyes home to deep, dark hollows, their edges rimmed with red.

“Let me sit up!” Ginny felt a surge of panic, a feeling of disorientation masking all common sense. She pushed past the heavy feeling in her limbs and head and forced herself upwards from the bed. This time, Harry didn’t try to stop her and instead helped her position herself back against her pillow. A dull ache in the back of her head thumped. “Why does my head feel so-?”

“You’re fine, they said you’ll be fine. You’re okay.” he breathed, spotting the note of panic in her voice and gently wrapping his arms around her, kissing her forehead softly. “It was a nasty fall but you’ll make a full recovery.”

“I fell?” She echoed his words in a small voice and Harry’s grip tightened around her.

“You held on longer than most could have, with that Sweetwater idiot ramming into you constantly. I hate this time of the season, everyone is just that bit too reckless.” He muttered darkly into her hair. A pause, as he pulled away and looked into her eyes, his arms still around her shoulders. “You scared me, Gin. Last night, you really scared me.”

It was a significant admittance, one which Harry would never say unless he truly meant it. The natural reaction would be to apologise for scaring him, but Ginny knew Harry would never hear it from her.

“Was I out all night?” She had no memory of any time having passed between the match and now.

“Completely out, you didn’t move. I kept leaning in to check you were still breathing, even though the Healers insisted you were and told me to sleep.” He gave a light shrug and a lock of his dark hair fell from his dishevelled, usually-neat knot.

Ginny was unbelievably touched that he had stayed awake all night for her; it was another of those moments when she was almost taken aback by how much she loved him. She reached out to tuck the loose hair behind his ear. “I love you, Harry.”

Harry beamed, like he had the first time she’d told him she loved him. Generally, as a couple, they preferred to demonstrate how in love they were, finding the words by themselves inadequate. But this time, it felt enough to cover how she was feeling. “I love you too.” He responded, not as if automatically but with genuine meaning, as he pulled her to him again with a quick kiss.

At that moment, a Healer came rushing in and Harry unwrapped Ginny, staying close to her side with his hand in hers.

“When did she wake up? How long has she been awake? How is she feeling?” the Healer asked hurriedly and Ginny bristled as he addressed Harry, acting as if Ginny wasn’t even in the room.

“I’m feeling great thanks, just relaxing here in this nice, comfy bed.” she bit sarcastically and Harry smirked as the Healer looked taken aback.

“So sorry Miss Weasley.” the Healer backtracked swiftly and Ginny noticed from his name badge he was a junior Healer. This comforted Ginny to know they hadn’t thought her injuries serious enough for a more experienced Healer. “Have you been awake long? How’s the pain?”

Ginny considered her question, assessing where she could and couldn’t feel pain in her body. Her head still thumped away like a cannon being fired into the back of her skull from a great distance. Her limbs felt as if they had been filled with lead.

“I’ve had worse.” Ginny replied and Harry scoffed, although she was being serious. “What actually happened to me?”

“She’s been awake around five minutes now.” Harry informed the Healer. “You fell off your broom, that’s really all there is to it, Gin. Probably didn’t help that you were travelling at around fifty miles an hour when you came off. It was that Beater. I barely got my wand out in time, else I could have cast a more effective cushioning charm.” Harry wore a dark expression.

“Your boyfriend here was the quickest thinker there. I’ve got half a mind to suggest a trained Auror at every match as standard procedure, I dread to think how much worse off you’d be if that charm hadn’t been cast. No broken bones, you’ve been blessed.”

“You saved me?” Ginny turned to Harry. Harry shrugged modestly, moving closer and wrapping an arm around her again.

“Do you have pain anywhere specific?” the Healer asked.

“My head kills but I’m sure I can sleep it off.” Ginny murmured, leaning into Harry’s touch.

“Your head?” the Healer looked worried and picked up his wand, casting a spell over Ginny which caused a number of complicated charts to appear in the air before them. “You can have more pain potion if you want,” he eventually said and Ginny nodded reluctantly.

The Healer went to fetch the potion as the door opened again, bringing with it a strong ray of morning December sunshine. Ginny’s mother entered the room, a warm but worried smile gracing her features.

“Ginny dear! Thank goodness!” she bustled over, taking Ginny’s face gently in both hands and looking over her. Harry dropped her hand to allow Mrs Weasley to greet her daughter but he stayed beside her, sinking into a chair not far from the head of the bed, which might have been there all night. “This Quidditch, really! It’s getting more and more dangerous every season, I’m sure of it. To think, if we hadn’t been here at St Mungo’s anyway, well who knows what might have happened?”

Ginny interrupted her mother’s dramatic speech. “Why were you already at St Mungo’s? Have I really been here since yesterday? Have you been here all this time?”

Mrs Weasley nodded her head vigorously. “Of course! Your father’s upstairs too, with Bill, and Ron and George are outside, waiting to come in. Percy is planning to drop by again after work and Hermione should be arriving back any minute. Speaking of which, we must let Charlie know you’re okay too before he sets off.”

Ginny processed all of this information. “Ron and George can come in, the Healer’s gone to get me more pain potion.”

As if waiting for their cue, her two youngest older brothers came bundling into the room, both making a beeline straight for her then stopping short just before the bed, preventing themselves from no doubt grabbing her in a bone crushing Weasley brother hug.

“That was a bit scary, sis!” George exclaimed.

“Just a bit.” Ron agreed.

“You’ve woken up just in time.” George continued.

“In time for what? Where’s dad, and Bill?” Ginny felt she was missing something.

“Maternity ward.” Harry supplied the information nobody else was. “Fleur went into labour.”

“It’s been quite an eventful twenty four hours.” Ron added.

“That’s sooner than we thought! Has she had the baby yet? Have I missed it?” The Healer returned with her pain potion and Ginny immediately quizzed her. “Can I go upstairs to see my brother and sister-in-law?”

The Healer exchanged an uneasy look with Mrs Weasley. “Not just yet, we still need to monitor you. I’m sure they can bring the baby down here later. I’m afraid I can’t let you leave until we’re sure you’re okay. You were out for quite some time.”

“When will you be sure I’m okay? I feel okay!” Ginny would have been frustrated enough at having to stay put in a bed for the foreseeable future without the extra incentive of a new Weasley baby.

“It’s up to the Senior Healer on the ward. Let’s just hope you won’t have to ring in the new year here with us.”

Ginny’s eyebrows shot up and she looked straight at Harry to see his reaction to this. They had plans to see The Sex Pixies for New Year’s Eve and she knew how disappointed he would be if, instead, she was stuck in a hospital bed.

Harry, however, was not looking at her and was exchanging a panicked glance with Ron. Ginny presumed they were worried about how she would react to this imprisonment.

“Is that likely?” Harry asked, after what looked like a wordless conversation with Ron.

“I really couldn’t say. I’ll have Senior Healer Fairchild come by as soon as she’s out of theatre.” The hidden meaning behind his words was clear. The Healer left with this bombshell hanging in the air.

Harry looked utterly crestfallen; Ginny knew he’d been really looking forward to the concert.

“It’s alright, you can go without me! We can see them together another time.” she pushed aside her own feelings of frustration to comfort him. Harry looked up from his reverie and gave her a forced grin.

“I’m not going without you.” he said after a pause. “There’ll be other concerts.”

Ron was mouthing silently at George, who looked up and noticed Ginny gazing at him curiously.

“No, Ron.” George said pointedly. “You can’t go instead, you don’t even like them.” Ron turned crimson and glared at George as Mrs Weasley gave him a judgemental look.

“Ron!” Her mother began but he interrupted her, guiding her by the shoulder away from Ginny’s bed.

“I’m going to see if Hermione’s here yet, and then let’s check on Fleur.” He looked sulky and stalked off out of the ward with their mother.

Harry stood up again and returned to Ginny’s side to hold her hand. George took this as his cue to leave and did so, throwing Harry a hugely unsubtle wink as he left.

“Are you disappointed about the concert? I’m sorry.” Ginny spoke immediately.

“No, no, of course not! The important thing is that you’re alright.” He kissed her forehead again.

Senior Healer Fairchild turned out to be rather formidable, unaware of Ginny’s infamous pain threshold and unaffected by her boyfriend’s pleas to release her. She examined the results emitting from her wand with a studious expression.

“I’m sorry Miss Weasley, Mr Potter, but I just don’t want to take any risks. You were out cold for several hours, anyone would need recovery time. We can reassess again tomorrow but in the meantime you’re stuck here.”

Ginny glowered at her. “Can’t I at least visit the maternity ward? My sister-in-law is about to have a baby.”

“I’m sure that’s true, I’ll see how you do. Get some rest, try and sleep that headache off.” She turned to leave then glanced back at Harry. “Oh and Potter, you’ll need this tonight if you’re going to refuse to leave again.” She waved her wand and conjured an extra bed alongside Ginny’s.

“Healer’s orders, you heard her. Get some sleep.” Harry instructed her, helping Ginny settle herself back down so she was lying flat. He kept a hold of her hand and stroked her hair with the other.

Ginny didn’t think she’d be at all tired after her time out cold, but as soon as Harry began rhythmically stroking her hair, she felt exhaustion overcome her. The pain potion she’d been given must have been pretty strong because it seemed to only take a minute or two for her Healer’s suggestion to become a reality.

Ginny awoke, momentarily forgetting where she was and what had happened, before the memory washed over her. She hadn’t a clue what time it was, but judging by the lack of sunlight streaming in, she guessed she had been asleep for several hours. Looking around her, she spotted Harry’s bed untouched and empty and the space around her own bed unoccupied.

Ginny pushed herself up in the bed, her head hurting far less than it had before. In fact, she felt almost completely normal as she propped herself up on her elbows and scanned the empty room. She realised what had awoken her when she spotted the jug of water to her right and reached for it, registering just how thirsty she was. Ginny guessed it was the evening now and she’d barely drank anything for hours.

She drummed her fingers back and forth across the bed spread, wondering if she was allowed to leave this room yet or if Fleur had had her baby. There weren’t any Healers in sight and Ginny felt fine.

Experimentally, she gave one aching leg a kick out, removing it from the bed and planting it on the floor. It felt steady enough as she joined it with the other. She stood, a lightheaded feeling present but not overpowering, holding onto the bed post in case she fell. The window opposite was pitch black, as it was the dead of winter, but the night was clear and the stars shone brightly.

Before Ginny could try a few steps towards the beautiful view, the door opened almost silently and Ginny turned, expecting a Healer.

It was Harry.

He looked much healthier than he had earlier, as if he’d had a few hours’ sleep. His hair was swept back in its usual knot and he’d changed out of his day-old Harpies stuff into a dark grey t-shirt with long sleeves.

“You’re up.” He said, coming to her side at once and taking her hand.

Ginny shrugged. “Just looking at the stars. Can’t see them all that well from here though.”

“Here.” Harry placed his arm around her waist and guided her over to the window, allowing her to lean against him. She breathed against his chest. “And even better.” A flick of his wand caused the window to magically expand, until it took over the entire side of the room, allowing them to look out across the constellations.

“Sorry again about the concert.” She murmured and he kissed the top of her head.

“I’ve thought of that.” He grinned, flicking his wand towards the magical speaker Ginny hadn’t noticed in the corner of the room. Music immediately came from the device, softly playing The Sex Pixies’ most recent hit. “It’s like they’re here in the room with us.”

Ginny smiled into him and he rubbed small circles over her back, the stars twinkling overhead. His eyes lit up as his favourite song began to play.

“I bet you were looking forward to hearing this tonight.” Ginny sighed wistfully, still feeling bad that it was because of her they were missing the concert.

Harry looked at her for a long time before speaking. “That wasn’t what I was looking forward to most about tonight.”

“It wasn’t?”

“No.” he said in a small voice, facing the ground. “Ask me what was.”

“What were you most looking forward to then?” she asked him bemusedly, thinking her boyfriend was acting rather strangely.

He took both her hands in his, hesitating for a second to check she was able to stand without his support. She was perfectly able, she just liked leaning into him.

“Ginny, I’m so incredibly in love with you. You mean everything to me.”

“Aw.” She smiled at him. “I’m gonna fall off my broom and scare you more often, I like ‘overly-romantic-Harry’ from time to time.”

His smile grew and his green eyes twinkled behind his glasses as he dropped one hand.

“I mean it, Ginny. I love you so much, and last night just made me even more sure about this, but I was going to anyway… tonight, at the concert.” He reached into his pocket and withdrew something Ginny couldn’t see in the low light. Her heart froze as a million and one thoughts rushed through her mind, each of them landing on the conclusion that ‘no… he wasn’t going to-’

“Ginny Weasley,” he sank away from her, dropping to one knee, her left hand still in his, “will you marry me?”

The hand that wasn’t holding onto hers flipped open a small box and held it up for her to see. Inside was a thin silver band, housing a sparkling diamond of perfect size. Ginny stared at in shock, her gaze flicking back to Harry’s expectant, nervous expression.

“Please say something.” He finally whispered, after what Ginny realised had been too long of a pause.

“Yes! Of course yes! Yes, yes, yes!” she practically fell down on top of him and he swept her up into his arms, picking her completely off the ground and spinning her around. She felt lightheaded again but this time she knew it had nothing at all to do with her accident. He placed her back down gently and pulled back, taking her left hand in his.

“I wasn’t supposed to do that, I forgot to put the ring on, I even remembered to keep hold of your left hand.” He was speaking without thought, his face split in half with a huge grin which mirrored Ginny’s own smile. She immediately gave him her left hand again, and he carefully removed the ring and slid it onto her fourth finger.

“I’m going to be a Potter.” She said, watching it fit snugly into place. Harry intertwined his fingers with hers, both of them staring at the ring now firmly on her finger. He kissed her softly, his arm finding the small of her back, her own hand tangled in the back of his hair.

“I’m not going to be the only Potter anymore.” He said between kisses, looking overjoyed at the prospect.

“And you were going to do this at the concert?” Ginny asked him breathlessly, the two still in a tight embrace.

“Yeah. This is embarrassing, I doubt you even remember but the first time we ever kissed, in the common room after that game?” he was looking at her questioningly as if worried she might have forgotten that particular detail of their relationship. “Well, as that happened-”

“The Sex Pixies were playing at the Quidditch party.” Ginny finished for him.

“You do remember?”

“Of course I bloody remember, Harry!” she smacked him lightly on the shoulder.

“Sorry.” He chuckled and circled his arms around her tighter.

“I sort of like that it was just the two of us though.” She kissed the end of his nose.“How many of my family members knew you were about to do this?” she questioned.

“I asked your parents for permission a few weeks back.” Harry grinned.

“I expect Mum told you you’ve always had their permission.” Ginny smirked.

Harry nodded. “But only Ron knew I was planning to propose at the concert, until this happened,” he gestured to her hospital gown, “then George figured it out and Ron had to tell your mum when she was getting suspicious. She’s thrilled by the way.”

“Of course she is, she loves you more than I do.” Ginny said with a wink. “And Fleur, has she-”

“An hour or so ago, another girl.” Harry responded.

“Oh Teddy will be so disappointed!”

“He is, he started poking my stomach and asking me when I was going to have a baby so that it would be a boy baby. He was complaining Fleur only has girl babies because she’s a girl.”

“A few mixed messages there.” Ginny grinned. “I think that’s Godfather’s job to have the talk.”

Harry blanched. “He’s only three! I can most definitely bribe somebody else to do it in time.”

“Don’t look at me.” Ginny nudged him with her newly bedazzled hand.

“The Healer said you’d be allowed to leave the ward when you woke up to visit upstairs. I had to promise to bring you back though.” Ginny gave him a grateful smile, fully appreciating for a second that he was going to be her husband.

“Ready to swap big news then? Everyone’s up there.” He nodded his head to the ceiling. “They looked in on you but you were sleeping.”

“How shall we tell them?” Ginny suddenly felt apprehensive.

“Make a fuss of the baby, wait for somebody to spot the ring.” Harry grinned.

“It’s a plan.” Ginny accepted the hand he offered and leaned on his side as they walked out of the room and down the corridor towards the lift, pressing the button for the maternity ward.

The room Fleur was in became clear in a second due to the vast amount of her family gathered around the doorway. Charlie had arrived from Romania while Ginny had been sleeping and he immediately pulled her into a one-armed hug.

“Hey sis, still throwing yourself off broomsticks I see.”

“Still throwing yourself at dragons I see.” Ginny teased, pointing to a new, shiny burn present on Charlie’s collar bone.

Hermione came over from a grinning Ron and looked straight at Ginny’s left hand, indicating that Ron had told her. “I expect you’re feeling much better now.” She whispered as she too gave Ginny a hug. “Congratulations.”

Arthur spotted Ginny next, coming to place an arm around her, while Percy gave her a somber, disapproving look from across the room, as if it was all her fault she’d been injured. Molly hurried over to bring Ginny into the room and she gave in, allowing her mother to guide her inside.

“Gee-Gee.” Baby Victoire reached for her auntie upon seeing her and George handed her over, giving Ginny a knowing look and glancing at her left hand. Ginny pretended not to notice and smoothed the little girl’s white-blonde hair down from where George had presumably been tickling her.

“You’re a big sister, Vic!” she grinned at the little girl, who giggled and squirmed to be put down and walk. Ginny obliged and watched her toddle over to a cupboard and begin attempting to open it.

“No, Vic, you not allowed!” little Teddy marched over and stood in the way of the cupboard door. He attempted to haul the younger girl away from the cupboard and back to the adults and she gave him a sulky look, waddling from him and straight to her Aunt Gabrielle who picked her up.

Teddy watched jealously as the teenager bounced Victoire around to delighted squeals until Harry noticed and went to pick Teddy up too. His hair was jet-black today, just like his godfather’s.

“Where’s this baby then?” Ginny asked impatiently, moving further into the room to reveal Bill and Fleur, who was on a bed looking exhausted. Bill was carrying a bundle of blankets.

Bill chuckled as she crossed the room to him. “How you feeling?”

“Better than ever.” Ginny’s eyes shone. “Let’s see what you’ve made.�� She grinned and Bill handed over the bundle of blankets.

“This is Dominique.” Ginny peered into the blankets to see a tiny face with a button nose. “Cute, isn’t she?” Bill smirked proudly.

“Adorable. Congratulations.” Ginny said, gazing at the baby and sharing a glance with Harry who had come to her side, Teddy still balanced on his hip.

“What’s dat?!” Teddy asked loudly, pointing fiercely at where Ginny was holding baby Dominique.

“That’s baby Dominique, Teddy. Vic’s sister.” Harry watched his confused face.

“Not a baby.” Teddy replied in a matter of fact voice. “Dat fing.” He leaned out of Harry’s arms and Ginny felt his hand brush hers under the baby, landing on the new addition to her left hand. “What ‘sit?”

“No concept of when to let go in a hug but this he notices.” Ginny laughed with Harry and Bill watched their exchange, his gaze drifting to the object of Teddy’s question.

“Ginny, is that-” he was staring at her hand holding baby Dominique; a second later, Bill whipped his head round to Harry in surprise. Harry smirked.

“Oh, yeah it is.” Ginny withdrew her hand from underneath the baby and held it out to show Bill her ring.

Harry shifted Teddy over to his other hip and placed an arm around Ginny’s waist, smiling round at the now silent room. There was a short pause which was then broken by an outburst of celebration.

Ginny and Harry found themselves in the middle of a mass hug, baby Dominique and Teddy were sandwiched somewhere in the middle and he was squealing in delight, picking up on the mood of the room.

“Only my little sister could manage to upstage my second daughter being born.” Bill chuckled, wiping a tear from his eye as the newly engaged couple were released. Ginny handed his daughter back to him and took Harry’s hand.

Their intertwined fingers found the ring, the still unfamiliar feel of it an exciting reminder of the decision they’d made that evening. Ginny looked into Harry’s eyes and shared a smile with him.

The room they stood in was so overflowing with joy and love and family; in that moment, Ginny felt like she was finally healed.

<<< Read 2000

>>> Read 2002

#the First Five Years #hinny #harry x ginny #fanfiction #harry potter #ginny weasley #F5Y #F5Y2001

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yogaadvise · 5 years

Text

Overcoming Anxiety: A Guided Meditation

Anxiety can be a complicated emotional state to find yourself in, no matter of whether the motorist of the emotion is substantial or totally benign.

It's that sensation of concern, uneasiness, or unease. It's the concern of what might take place. It can also be marked by physiological signs such as sweating, tension, as well as an enhanced pulse.

With anxiousness, your self-doubt seems to take over and also you seem like you can't handle daily circumstances. It can be the point that avoids you from:

Applying for the job you want

Entering right into a new relationship

Attending celebrations with friends

Whatever it resembles, you can most likely agree that anxiousness is something you would rather do without.

Anxiety is a future-based anxiety that you have forecasted out in front of you on your path. Eventually, you likely had an experience that left some unsettled psychological poisoning behind, as well as that imprinting of psychological baggage has actually now transformed right into a worry of having to duplicate the very same (or similar) experience.

There may not even be a connection between what took place in the past as well as what is taking place now. No matter, the residual psychological component from that previous experience is still significantly alive and also is what perpetuates the uneasiness in the future.

For example, if, as a child, you increased your hand in course and also the various other children laughed at you due to the fact that you said the wrong thing, you might have created an instability around putting on your own out there socially or in job meetings.

If you were continually overlooked during your teen years, it's feasible that you believe you will certainly never get the job deal you imagine, so you don't also bother trying.

As a grown-up, you might discover yourself fretting about points like financial resources, health and wellness, and also self-respect:

How am I going to make my rent?

What if I can not afford to retire?

I have not been really feeling well. I wonder if I have (fill in the space)?

How much time do I have left?

You could be stressing over whether your relationships are going to go the distance or if that lively brand-new employee is going to take your task. You might also be asking yourself if you are excellent enough or do enough.

You develop anxiousness and also concern by making an assumption concerning something that may or might not be occurring-- either currently or in the future. You build intricate tales about what you assume is taking place and then convince yourself that this tale is true.

You construct your truth based on how you are viewing other individuals, on your own and your experiences. And what you go searching for, you make sure to find.

One of one of the most reliable strategies for conquering these daily stress and anxieties originates from Mental and Emotional Release ® Therapy( MER ®). Daily stress and anxieties include (yet are not restricted to):

Concern about the future

Political state of the world

Being excellent enough (or doing enough)

Deadlines

Traffic

Health as well as well-being of yourself and also family members members

Employees

Hangovers

Job interviews

Finances

Conflict of any sort

Uncertainty

Using the MER ® method, you take a trip into the future 15 minutes beyond the effective completion of the event producing anxiety.

When you transform and also look backward, the formerly regarded stress and anxiety no more exists. This is due to the fact that stress and anxiety is a future-based fear as well as fear is a negative feeling. The mind stores negative emotions as well as memories in the past, implying fear can not actually exist in the future.

This strategy educates you that there is no need for your anxiety.

Try the following meditation-- based upon the MER ® method-- to conquer some of your everyday anxieties.

A Guided Meditation for Getting Over Everyday Anxiety

Sit easily and also close your eyes.

Begin to link to your breath, making each inhalation and exhalation slow as well as deliberate.

Next, picture which instructions (in connection with your body) your future is in. Some people might imagine it is out in front of them, others may have a concept that it is off to the right or to the left. This is called your timeline and also is exactly how your unconscious mind pictures your past, existing, and also future.

Imagine in your mind that you float up above your timeline.

Now, drift out into the future to 15 minutes after the successful completion of the event which you thought you feared about and quit there. ( You can tailor this step based upon recommendations listed below.)

Turn and look back toward "Currently" along your timeline.

Ask yourself, “Where is the anxiety?” That's right, it's gone!

Float back towards "Currently" over your timeline, float down into "Currently" as well as open your eyes.

Now, test to ensure the stress and anxiety released. Consider things that made use of to make you nervous and also notice that there is no stress and anxiety there any longer.

Note: if the stress and anxiety did not release, see to it you imagined the occasion completing successfully symphonious # 5. Repeat if necessary.

The power in this method is envisioning things finishing in an effective way. Things may still not end up the method you wanted, however you will enhance the possibility of success by doing this kind of visualization.

* Sometimes where a person may have had an extreme experience that developed a limiting idea or sentence that things will constantly turn our in a particular method, this method might require to be come before with elimination of restricting beliefs as well as past negative feelings using Psychological and Psychological Release® techniques.

Here are a few of the most common root causes of stress and anxiety. You can customize step # 5 in the procedure above to whatever is troubling you. Keep in mind to imagine the successful completion of the following events:

Finances:

Closing the sale

Paying your mortgage

Repairing your vehicle

Signing the documents for your child's university funding

Health and also Safety and security (of self as well as others):

Achieving your goal to shed weight

Receiving positive outcomes from a recent medical test

Healthy delivery of a new baby

Confrontation (of any sort):

Performance discussion with your boss

Arguing with a spouse or family members member

The Unknown:

Leaving a toxic relationship

Resigning from a dead-end job

Being alone at the end of your life

Mortality

Living a good life

This method is a fantastic device to utilize for the important things you find yourself fearing regarding on a day-to-day basis. If you are struggling with more serious anxiety-related thoughts or propensities, please seek guidance and/or treatment from a medical care specialist.

Gaining Control

There are likewise a number of things that can create stress and anxiety that are action-based as well as within your control. As an example, if you battle with time management (way too much to do and also inadequate time) you might require to create a routine that sets out points based on:

Priority

Importance

How long they can wait

You can additionally learn to re-frame your anxiousness. The only difference in between stress and anxiety and excitement is the label or the meaning you provide to it. The body does not understand the difference between the 2. It's the mindful mind that informs the body what the feeling is and also exactly how to reply to it.

A fast re-frame on a scenario can be enough to change the method you're viewing the energy. As an example, if you're really feeling anxious about offering a discussion, you may re-frame it by claiming, "I'm so ecstatic that I reach share my knowledge and also proficiency with this group today."

In some situations, stress and anxiety can be present when you do not recognize your purpose or absence direction in your life. In this instance, it is necessary to:

Discover what you are passionate about

Set a goal to bring more of that into your life

This can be performed in a professional setting or in the form of a hobby.

Because anxiety is future-based fear, sometimes it might be needed to initial release the previous negative feeling of anxiety as well as any restricting beliefs (I'm not good enough, I'm refraining from doing sufficient) relevant to it before the anxiety will release.

To do this, you will require to discover a Certified Expert of Psychological and Psychological Release ® to lead you securely and also properly through the process.

Having feelings is component of the human experience. They are absolutely regular and also, actually, even adverse emotions are (approximately a specific factor) valuable for you to have.

In lots of instances, negative emotions as well as limiting beliefs are your unconscious mind's method of warning or safeguarding you. The goal is to be able to recognize when something is there as a message from the unconscious and also when it's no more offering your process of evolution.

When it's the last, it's time to thank it for the objective it served and afterwards allow it go.

If you proceed to deal with chronic stress and anxiety, we welcome you to join us at our 3-day psychological healing workshop, Healing the Heart. At Healing the Heart you'll feel the weight raised from your heart as you're gently assisted through a five-step psychological recovery process made to help release any kind of poisonous emotions or experiences. Visit this site for more information.

#guided meditation #healing #meditation #yoga #yoga alliance

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fatimakarim · 5 years

Text

Suzanne Haneef, Islam: The Path of God, pages 7–24

To ALL OF YOU, MY READERS, WHO ARE SEEKING TO KNOW ABOUT THE FAITH OF ISLAM OR WHO ARE SEARCHING FOR A PATH OF LIFE, I DEDICATE THIS WORK, WITH A PRAYER THAT IT MAY BE USEFUL TO YOU IN YOUR QUEST.

“The little book you’re holding in your hands was written by an American woman who accepted Islam in 1965. However, when I first encountered Islam in the mid-50’s, I knew absolutely nothing about this religion or its followers. In fact, whatever I thought I knew-that Muslims believe in a pagan deity called Allah and that they worship Muhammad-couldn’t have been more incorrect and absurd.

At that time, the Muslim presence in this continent was hardly noticeable and was limited almost entirely to foreigners hailing mainly from the Middle East and the Indian subcontinent. American Muslims were extreme rarities, who came into their new faith with very little support from any direction: there were very few Muslim communities and Islamic centers, a small and inadequate supply of literature and information about Islam, and a severely limited number of live role models to learn from. The critical question of how Islam could be applied by people living in the mainstream of American society without sacrificing any of its basic principles or teachings had barely been asked, much less answered.

But during the past three decades, all this has changed dramatically. The Muslim community is now firmly established in this continent; currently there are some 1500 mosques or Islamic centers in the United States, and a large number in Canada as well. Muslims are found everywhere, even in the smallest places. They are making significant contributions not only to the religious and spiritual life of North America but in many other areas as well: politics, business, teaching, technology, research, medicine, and the social sphere.

Islam is generally thought of as an Arab religion. But the fact is that Arabs comprise only one-seventh of the world’s Muslims. Indonesia has the largest Muslim population in the world, followed by Bangladesh, Pakistan and India. Some twenty or so million Muslims live in the People’s Republic of China, and triple that number in the former Soviet republics. Thus, the Muslim population in North America represents the Muslim world in miniature. While it consists primarily of Arabs and Indo-Pakistanis, there are also significant numbers of North Africans, Iranis, Afghans, Turks, Bosnians and South East Asians. And there is a steadily increasing number of American Muslims.

Still, in spite of this growing Muslim population, and the fact that Islam and Muslims are constantly in the news, many people in America know almost as little about Islam as I did a third of a century ago. We may imagine that we’re getting a lot of information on the subject from the media, but much of what comes to us is actually misinformation, which does nothing but reinforce prejudices and stereotypes.

Even now, at the end of the 1990s, I find myself constantly surprised by the unwillingness of people in the West even to consider Islam as a possible source of correct information. I’ll give you just one example of this. Christians and Jews are deeply interested in biblical history and archeology. But with very few exceptions, they approach these subjects without ever consulting Islamic sources, which would unquestionably provide a wealth of authentic information. And I keep asking myself, When are the people of the West going to realize the treasure that Islam is and avail themselves of what it has to offer?

I’m sometimes asked what attracted me to Islam. To answer this, I must give a bit of personal history.

By the time I first began to hear about Islam, I’d parted company forever with my earlier strong Christian convictions. Not finding answers to the insistent questions I was struggling with (questions which you’ll frequently encounter in this book), I stopped believing in God because the only God I knew about was unbelievable. It was simply impossible for me to come to terms with what I perceived His dealings with humankind to be.

But as time passed, I found a deep aching emptiness within myself where God had previously been. It then became clear to me that Islam offered something I desperately needed: absolute certainty and clearness of direction. As I came to understand the Islamic concept of God and His purposes for mankind, it was one that made complete sense to my mind and that I instinctively recognized as right. Islam’s emphasis on the individual’s relationship with God and its deep spirituality drew me like a magnet. And I knew I had to make it my own.

It’s been a long journey from that state of knowing less than nothing to this point. But it’s been a grand and exciting journey. It’s taken me from inner emptiness, sometimes verging on despair, into the heart of a faith which I’ve found to be like an ocean in its depth and breadth. This journey has allowed me to recapture the spirituality of my childhood, and to taste the flavor and sweetness of Islam as a way of life in some of the Muslim heartlands. Summing it up, it’s been a journey of coming to an understanding of the purpose and meaning of existence and of finding my own personal path to God.

This is a path which I feel so blessed to be a part of that I must share it with others-with you, if you’re willing. I’m offering to be the tour guide on your journey of discovery of a faith which is as dear to life itself to millions of the world’s people. The fact that some of these people may be your neighbors, friends, fellow students, co-workers, grocers, physicians, teachers or even your relatives may make this journey more real and personal for you as you try to look at things through their eyes.

Muslims are no longer “those people over there.” On the contrary, they’re over here and they’re an integral part of our communities. This fact in itself demands from us the willingness to be open-minded and to replace prejudice, speculation and stereotypes with accurate information, which hopefully in turn will lead to tolerance and respect. And in the process we may find out how much Islam and Muslims have to offer us.

My approach to the subject is simple and direct, not scholarly. I’ve emphasized the concepts and high spiritual principles of Islam rather than its rules; this is not a how-to-do book but simply an overview. May God, your Lord and my Lord, the Lord of the universe and every creature in it, bless you and guide you as you read.”

THINKING THINGS OVER

where am I going? This society? The whole human race?” These are questions which many of us today are asking urgently, deeply troubled about what we see happening in our world Our concerns may be quite personal ones, centered around our own particular life situation. They may be general ones, related to the state of things as a whole or both. For this is a strange and difficult time, a time when all the old values and traditions seem to have been cut out from under us without anything clear and definitive having been substituted for them. From every direction and every possible source, we’re being bombarded by the newfangled ideas, values and behaviors of the New Age in which we live.

The New Age is an age with many interesting features. One of these is confusion. Great numbers of us no longer seem to have a clear sense of right and wrong, good and bad. Under the impact of too much personal freedom and the flood of new ideas and values, we’re falling apart, frightened, uncertain, lost. After all, how is it possible to have certainty about anything when even the most basic, time-honored values are being called into question?

In comparison to earlier times, everything around us today seems upside-down and backwards. A great deal of what was previously considered right is now looked upon as outmoded, irrelevant or just plain dumb. At the same time, much of what used to be considered wrong is now accepted as right, normal and okay. Members of the older generation, like myself, still maintain our vision of what things were like in an earlier, simpler, less perplexing period. But when our generation goes, apart from people of strong religious faith, who will be left that still retains a clear vision of a saner, more stable society? That vision will have gone with the winds of change.

This tum-about in basic human values and morals has led to a steady unraveling of civilized standards and behavior, not only in the country but worldwide. Brutality, lust and all manner of other evils flourish around the globe; violence, vice and exploitation seem to have become the new order of the day. And fear hangs over the whole world. Those of us who are even slightly sensitive to the currents and energies around us realize that something is wrong-deeply, awfully wrong. And we carry the collective burden of humanity’s pain and turmoil deep within our hearts.

Day by day the fear and uneasiness increases. Often we sense that we’re at the edge of a terrible and dangerous abyss, surrounded by intense darkness. As the end of this millennium approaches, predictions of a worldwide Armageddon-like catastrophe haunt our minds. And how can it be otherwise when we sense deep within ourselves that things have gone so wrong that such a crisis is due? For each day, new and deeper holes appear in the social and moral fabric of mankind, and it seem obvious that when the holes become more than the fabric itself, it’s past repair.

Why? you may be asking. Why is our society, our world, so terribly disturbed? Why is there so much suffering, misery and evil on earth? Why is everything around us and inside us in such a state of upheaval?

Why are the rates of crime, violence, sexual misbehavior, family breakdown, substance abuse and suicide mounting day by day? Why are there so many problems within my family, among my friends, or in my own life? Why am I so anxious, depressed, stressed-out, uncertain, unable to find any peace of mind?

These are all-important questions. I’ve thrown them out to you, not in order to make you uneasy, but because they’re matters which we urgently need to address. Yet we seem unable (or perhaps unwilling) to put our finger on the cause. Social scientists spend years studying such issues, but even they often fail to understand the primary reason for this troubled state of affairs, much less what can be done about it. Why? One possibility is that in a secular society such as ours, the reason is one that few people want to admit or accept.

Can it be that we’re all suffering because a critical something is missing from our society and world in our time? And is it possible that because of this missing thing, a huge emptiness exists in a great many people’s hearts? Might it be that our attempts to fill this void, although without knowing what it represents, has resulted in our blind race for material solutions, material supports and material satisfactions, without taking into consideration our total human nature and its needs?

Then, we may further ask ourselves, can it be that the race to replace that vital missing element with material goals and goods has warped our spirits and, in turn, our values even more? To take this line of questioning further, is it possible that the drive for material props could be fuelled by an intense spiritual hunger, even starvation, which we try to fill in any way we can?

In my view, the essential thing we’ve lost is religious faith. Together with faith, we’ve also lost the fixed set of values and principles which guided the lives of peoples and civilizations before us, giving them stability, continuity and certainty. The prevailing materialism that’s taken the place of faith has resulted in a misplaced trust in science and technology, which are good servants but bad masters. It’s cheated us and robbed us of a sense of direction, both as individuals and as a society. On a deeper level, it’s also deprived our spirits of the deeper, truer satisfactions they require.

While earlier responsibilities and rights went handin-hand, today freedom rules. This freedom is defined as the right to do what one pleases without accountability as long as it doesn’t “harm” anyone-that is, as long as no criminal or civil codes are violated. But who’s to decide whether a word or an action is harmful to others, or to our own inner selves? Without a strong conscience, firmly grounded in universal principles of right and wrong, it’s easy for us to be cheated by the desires of our egoes, so that whatever we want to do seems all right.

Because of this loss of faith and the moral responsibility which it instills, another catastrophe has occurred: our society’s loss of its clear understanding of the family as a God-ordained institution, to be upheld and supported by every possible means. Sexual enjoyment has become an end in itself, divorced from responsibility. Better methods of”protection” are offered as the solution for the host of problems this attitude has brought upon us, rather than encouraging responsibility for the consequences of our actions.

Our children and their well-being have become the first victims of this loss. Many of us grew up in disrupted families in which we never learned any positive parenting skills. Some of us want to be good parents but are so strapped financially that it’s difficult to be. Others of us have given priority to a better lifestyle or a rewarding career. No matter what the reason, great numbers of our children are growing up without the emotional security, parental love and attention they require to be healthy. And the circle of deprivation continues from one generation to another. As a result, we’ve become increasingly a nation of emotionally crippled, dysfunctional people. Due to no fault of our own, many of us carry hollow spaces inside hearts which should have been filled with love and a sense of well-being from the moment of birth.

Another casualty of our lost sense of responsibility is the moral and spiritual training of our children. From a young age, they’re bombarded by values, morals and examples which conflict sharply with any religious belief, and even with civilized standards. But young people who’ve never been taught morals and values other than material ones have no standards for distinguishing right from wrong or beneficial from harmful. Nor do they have any effective weapons for fighting against their own powerful impulses or the pressures coming from outside.

Science, which many people believe provides answers to all questions, has played a major role in eroding religious belief and traditional values. Many people today question the very existence of God, demanding “proofs,” although strangely enough, we never hear of anyone’s demanding proofs that God does not exist. Others, although believing in His existence, do not grasp His relevance, even to their own personal lives.

Although as a society we may give lip-service to belief in God, this is far removed from having certainty that He is in complete control of all things. According to our current thinking, a vague force called “Mother Nature” (or just “Nature”) is responsible for running the natural world in an orderly, predictable fashion. But when something out of the ordinary occurs, something which we look upon as unpreventable, such as a natural disaster, it’s viewed as an “act of God”-as if God were some sort of an intruder in the smooth, orderly running of the universe.

But without firm belief in a Supreme Being who is continuously involved with His creation, we human beings are spiritually and emotionally empty and deprived. We go through life uncentered, unfixed, and a prey to every wind that blows, without clearly-defined beliefs, values or goals by which to chart our path.

If you grew up with a religion and strong faith, you’re one of the lucky ones. Many of us were never exposed to anything of the sort. Others were brought up with a religion but later outgrew it; we still believe in God but don’t subscribe to any particular faith. Some of us may have looked into various religions without finding any clear direction. Others would like to believe but don’t have any idea in who or what, or even where to look. And still others of us may feel that even if we knew what to believe, we’re beyond all hope of salvation.

Whatever your particular case may be, it is critical for you to know that you were created by an absolutely merciful, loving Lord. He created you because He desired you to come into being, and He honored you by breathing into you something of His Divine Spirit.! No matter who you are or what you may have done, that fact alone gives you worth and importance. And He, your Creator, is asking you to connect with Him.

God is always there for you. He never leaves you; there’s no way you can get rid of Him. All you need to do is reach out to Him. If He doesn’t have any place in your life but you would like Him to, initiate the relationship. Call to Him, ask Him for help and guidance, pour out your heart and your needs to Him, tell Him that you love Him. For without being firmly bonded to our Source, we’re hollow, empty creatures, easily crushed and

destroyed by the difficult conditions surrounding us. Without belief in the purposefulness of our lives, we’re likely to be in despair.

At the same time, you need a way, a path to walk upon to Him, a system for guiding your life. But, if you’re not to be misled, it must be a true and correct one.

Islam, the faith of one-fifth of the world’s people, is one among many ways claiming to be the truth. I’m talking about real Islam, of course, not the biased versions you hear about in the media or the Farrakhan variety, but the genuine, pure faith that goes back to Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) and the early Muslim community.

Islam, meaning “surrender” or “submission”, is the original religion revealed by God from the beginning of human history. He revealed it through the first man, Adam (peace be upon him), who was also the first prophet. Later, He revealed it through Abraham (peace be upon him), the father of Judaism, Christianity and Islam.

“ Abraham was neither a Jew nor a Christian, but he was a Monotheist, a Muslim. And he was not of the Polytheists.” (Quran 3:67) God says concerning him.

Still later, He revealed it through Moses (peace be upon him), and afterwards, through Jesus Christ (peace be upon him), the miraculous prophet who came to revive and purify it. And He revealed it for the last and final time through the prophet who established Islam as a world religion, Muhammad of Arabia (peace be upon him), the most perfect of all mankind. And this final revelation contains God’s unchangeable guidance for humanity up to the end of this world.

“I hear what you’re saying,” you may be thinking. “But exactly who’s making the claim that Islam is the truth, and why should I believe it any more than in the claims of any other religion?”

Good questions, which you should be asking. Islam’s answer to the first part of your question is, quite simply,

God Himself. This, and much more, is what He has to say about His final revelation:

o mankind, the truth has come to you from your Lord. Therefore, whoever is guided, is guided only/or his own soul, and whoever is in error errs only against it. (Quran 10:108)

That which is revealed to you [Muhammad] by your Lord is the truth.

(Quran 13:1)

Those who have been given knowledge see that what is revealed to you [Muhammad] from your Lord is the truth and leads to the path of the Almighty, the Praised One. (Quran 34:6)

By the Lord of the heavens and the earth, this is indeed the truth, as [much as the fact that] you are able to speak. (Quran 51:23)

But claims to being the truth are not to be taken lightly. In order to test this claim for yourself, please read on. Gather information, sift and weigh it all in your mind, and come to your own conclusion.

If you do conclude that this religion is the truth, then other conclusions follow: that in Islam’s divine Message lies hope for ourselves as individuals and for mankind as a whole-indeed, perhaps the only hope; that nothing other than this faith that can cure the deep, devastating ailments of humanity; and that, without it, there can be no lasting solutions, no safety, and no way out of the life threatening global crisis of our time.

ISLAM’s WORLD VIEW

“I bear witness that there is no deity except God, and I bear witness that Muhammad is the Messenger of God-Ashhadu an la ilaha illa-Llah, wa ashhadu anna Muhammadu Rasool-Allah.”

Muslims repeat this Declaration of Faith over and over again in their daily prayers. But what does this Declaration really mean?

This act of witnessing proclaims that I accept no one as my God except the One, Eternal, Almighty God, who alone is worthy of my worship and service, and that I accept Muhammad ( peace be upon him) as His last and final messenger to mankind. In accepting both, I’m prepared to follow the guidance which God revealed through Muhammad ( peace be upon him) as my way of life and my path to salvation.

When a person is ready to make such a commitment, he or she enters Islam by repeating the Declaration of Faith in front of witnesses. He or she is now formally a Muslim, part of the world-wide community of the millions who live by the teachings of Islam. He or she is also absolved of all sins committed before accepting Islam, as pure as a new-born baby.

1 THE AGE-OLD MESSAGE OF ISLAM

I have already pointed out that Islam is not a new religion. Rather, it is the original religion revealed by God to mankind from the dawn of human history. Thus, the first man, Adam, who was also the first prophet, was a Muslim in the sense of being surrendered to God. And after him came a series of prophets, including those we mentioned previously and many, many others, who were all Muslims or surrendered ones. And every single prophet brought the same divinely-revealed Message from his Lord.

And what is that Message? It is that there is a single, unique Being who is the Lord and Master of all creation. He alone deserves to be worshiped and obeyed, and we, mankind, are accountable to Him for all our actions. We are in this life for a brief, limited period, after which we will return to Him for judgment. We will then enter a life of eternal duration, during which we will either be in permanent happiness or in misery. And the choice of our destiny in that future life is up to us.

2 UNDERSTANDING REALITY

Now, everyone has a certain world view, an understanding of what constitutes Reality, and this view naturally differs greatly from person to person. But what’s really important about our world view is whether it’s a correct one or merely someone’s mind-product — possibly our own.

If it’s correct, well and good. However, if it’s one that we human beings have concocted out of our own or other people’s guesswork or imagination, it’s bound to be wrong. On our own, we simply don’t possess the equipment or capability to grasp what makes up this endlessly complex Reality. And since our principles follow from our world view and our actions follow from our principles, if our world view is wrong, everything we do is almost bound to be wrong as a result.

What we’ve got to figure out is this: Is Reality only what we can see, touch, taste, smell or hear with our bodily senses or grasp by means of our technology, or is there something more? Is there Someone in charge of it all who is Himself the Ultimate Reality, or are there just individual bits and pieces? Is everything in existence simply the result of randomness, coincidence or blind chance? Or, alternatively, did Someone arrange it so that all the bits and pieces are actually parts of a great, meaningful whole, an unbelievably grand, complex cosmic plan?

Then, if there is such a Someone, who and what is He? And-if you really want to take all this to its logical conclusion-isn’t it just possible that finding out about that Someone is the most important thing anyone has to do?

Let’s continue this line of questioning and get more personal. Perhaps we further need to ask: Does my own individual, personal life have any purpose and meaning, or not? Does it really matter what I do, say, think or feel? Am I just some physical being who will one day stop living, like all other living things, so that, suddenly, when the switch is turned from On to Off-fini? Is this life that I’m now in the only life, or was there something before it-and if so, what? And will there be something after it for me, some other state of existence? If not, none of these questions matter. But if there is going to be something after it, the critical question is: What is that future life of mine going to be like?

These are questions that every thinking person must ask because they form a vital part of human consciousness, questions which human beings have sought answers to since the beginning of history. The only problem is, Who has the answers?

3 ARRIVING AT ANSWERS

It’s obvious that finite beings cannot arrive at answers to questions such as these on their own, for such questions are related to Infinity. Therefore, to rely on our limited senses, technology, thought processes or personal understanding for answers is futile and may even be dangerously misleading. For, again, even if some of our answers are right and some are wrong, the end result is bound to be inaccurate.

We are therefore faced with the unescapable conclusion that no one can possibly have all the correct answers except the One who created the whole. Only when the Creator Himself supplies us with the answers are they certain to be correct ones. Otherwise, human attempts to arrive at such answers are bound to be nothing more than guesses, or, at best, bits and pieces of the truth. And in view of our limited equipment, answers arrived at on our own probably have much more likelihood of leading us astray than guiding us aright.

Islam teaches that God, the Creator, Himself communicates the answers to us. By means of revelation through His chosen representatives, the prophets, God speaks to us about Himself and His creation. He informs us that there is an ultimate Reality which is known only to Himself, its Originator, and that He is the sustainer and center of that Reality.

What we human beings are able to know and understand of this Reality by means of our limited human equipment is actually only the tiniest, most minute portion of it. God refers to this part of His creation that we’re able to know about or experience as the ‘Witnessed’ or visible, in contrast to the ‘Unseen’ or spiritual realm. And He makes it clear that belief in that unseen realm is a pre-requisite to being open to receiving His guidance, His final Message to mankind, the

holy scripture of Islam known as the Qur’an, saying,

ذَٰلِكَ الْكِتَابُ لَا رَيْبَ فِيهِ هُدًى لِّلْمُتَّقِينَ الَّذِينَ يُؤْمِنُونَ بِالْغَيْبِ وَيُقِيمُونَ الصَّلَاةَ وَمِمَّا رَزَقْنَاهُمْ يُنفِقُونَ

This [Qur’anl is the Book in which there is no doubt, a guidance to those who are mindful of God, who believe in the Unseen. (Qur’an 2:2–3)

Anyone with a working mind is aware of the incredible complexity of the physical universe in which we live, as well as of our own selves. But it’s quite probable that the complexity of this material world is as nothing compared to the infinitely greater complexity of the unseen Reality. Its depth and complexity is so immense that even the prophets, who were intimately connected to the spiritual realm, knew only a minute part of it.

It is therefore critical that we take our answers to the questions we’ve asked about Reality and about ourselves from the One who has them, not from any other source. Otherwise, we may never fulfill our appointed destiny and may end up in some limbo which we’re not going to like. It’s our business, our obligation as thinking human beings, to know the answers to these and many more questions which relate to our ultimate destiny.

We will start by taking a look at the basic beliefs of Islam, which are a summary of the unseen realities and our own place within them.

credit: Suzanne Haneef, Islam: The Path of God, pages 7–24. (PDF)

i recommend this book to everyone!

E-book copy http://www.islamicbulletin.org/free_downloads/new_muslim/islam_the_path.pdf

read her first book: What Everyone Should Know About Islam and Muslims by Suzanne Haneef

E-book copy http://www.islamicbulletin.org/free_downloads/new_muslim/what_everyone.pdf

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marginalgloss · 7 years

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the belly of an architect

When The Beginner’s Guide was released in late 2015, there was a sense that the current lexicon of video game writing was somehow inadequate to properly describe it. Here was something that was entirely in keeping with every trend in indie games: it was personal, political, metafictional; it was witty and ironic, in the highest sense of those terms; it was a game about games, and it was a game about people. It was also funny, visually inventive, and above all it felt like something genuinely new. It was received with good reviews, tempered with caution. Even players who were affected by it seemed to hold it at arm’s length. Much like the sight of somebody having an emotional breakdown in public, the implication was that it was powered by something that was somehow beyond criticism.

The game had a certain amount in common with The Stanley Parable, the previous work by creator Davey Wreden. Both games are told from the first-person perspective with 3D graphics, and place a very limited range of interactions at the player’s disposal. There is not much to do in these games; you wander alone through a world while an unseen narrator comments on what you’re doing and what you are looking at. Indeed, The Beginner’s Guide is even more limited in this respect than The Stanley Parable — there are none of the alternative paths, hidden endings and secrets that many players found so endearing in the latter title. But both games are full of jokes about the absurdities of game design, and in spite of their sometimes acerbic tone, both are made with a rich empathy for players and designers alike.

Where things differ is in the uneasy relationship of The Beginner’s Guide to reality. It purports to be a set of unfinished games originally created by somebody called Coda. (This requires some suspension of disbelief: we know from the credits that a small team of other people worked on this game as well, but within the fiction of the game, they might as well not exist.)

The story goes that Wreden has spliced fragments of Coda’s creations together into a semi-coherent experience in the hope of demonstrating the work of his talented friend. As the player moves through Coda’s worlds, Davey’s voice is their tour guide. His explanations provide a ‘story’ to what otherwise might seem a totally abstract set of design decisions. But Davey is more than a narrator: he’s the architect of the entire experience, warping the player from one section to the next, and often interfering directly with Coda’s work in order to make it possible to play.

This question of possibility is key to understanding The Beginner’s Guide. For Davey, everything in life seems possible, or can be made so; for Coda, it’s the opposite. Coda was, we are told, a socially awkward person. To borrow a phrase from Sarah Baume, he is ‘not the kind of person who is able to do things’. Yet Coda’s levels seem quite straightforward at first. He dabbles with a map for Counterstrike, and a science fiction thing that almost feels like the start of a ‘real’ game. But even in those early examples, his work demonstrates a tendency to add inexplicable elements which interrupt the experience entirely.

A bizarre bug in the sci fi game means that if the player walks into a laser beam — which they have to do in the absence of other options, even though they know it’ll kill them — they actually end up floating slowly through the ceiling, and then up and out of the map, so that the whole of the crafted space is visible to them. Is this a sort of expressionism, or is it simply a mistake? Why would somebody put something like that in a game? What were they trying to tell us?

The basic situation between Davey and Coda is emblematic of a certain tension present in the way we think about games today. On one side, we have the idea of games as personal expression: the idea that in a game one might be able to turn one’s own experiences into a kind of machine for empathy. On the other, there’s the notion that games don’t need to be ‘about’ anything except their own mechanics: that they should be accessible and rewarding and coherent and, you know, fun. The Beginner’s Guide is an attempt to resolve this tension -- both within a creator’s work, and their life. Is it possible to make a game which is complete, rational and enjoyable, when none of those things are true of life?

The personal approach is Coda’s modus operandi, but his games aren’t expressive in any kind of straightforward way. At times, they have all the cold unreality of conceptual art. And it’s hard to tell how they might be encountered in isolation, since as it stands, they can only be appreciated alongside the insight that Davey provides into their methodology. He’s like the curator of an exhibition who creates an experience by placing one work alongside another, by colouring the backdrop, by writing the cue cards. At every stage we are told what to think about we are seeing. And like any good critic, Davey isn’t hesitant to root around in the guts of Coda’s work if it means he can get his point across better.

(considerable spoilers to follow.)

Davey finds a lot of things to show that were never meant to be seen at all. A distinguishing feature of video games is that a great deal of extra craft can be present in the work itself, but also be totally invisible to the audience, even though it represents a deliberate artistic gesture. Imagine a writer who encoded whole extra passages in a novel by sealing them up within the endpapers: the equivalent of this comes early on in The Beginner’s Guide when Davey strips away the walls of an innocuous hallway to reveal a vast network of interconnected passages floating in the void; an entire hidden labyrinth, forever unreachable by the player.

This is emblematic of the eternal problem for Davey. Coda’s games were never intended to be ‘played’ in the commonly understood sense. Coda created a staircase that would slow the player’s movement speed in proportion to their progress along it, making it almost impossible to ever reach the top. He built a cell within a huge, elaborate prison, where the player had to spend hours and hours in real time before they would be allowed to proceed. In one of his more detailed creations, Coda made a little house in which the player can only repeat a cycle of tedious domestic chores while a nameless companion provides a stream of inanely optimistic chatter. Davey allows the player a taste of all these, but he cuts them short too. For him, the work cannot be allowed to speak for itself: context is king. And who else is there to provide context but Davey?

Over time, Davey begins to build up a portrait of Coda in the player’s mind. These are the creations of a person who is anxious and depressed. This is the work of someone who is subject to a kind of creative paralysis; a sense of crippling inertia which sees him repeating the same small, obsessive routines that have damaged his personal life. In Davey’s version of their relationship, Davey himself only exists as a helpful counterpoint. He tells the player how he encouraged Coda to share his work, and to make it more accessible to a wider audience by toning down some of the more difficult aspects. And eventually, Coda’s creations begin to take on a different shape. Davey is delighted to point out when a clearly defined end point appears in the levels, marked by an old-fashioned lamp post.

But at the same time, things seem to be progressing towards a very uncertain place. In this sense, the ending of The Beginner’s Guide has a certain shape to it reminiscent of Gone Home. Players approach both having worked through a great deal of dark subject matter, much of which suggests that something horrifying might be around the final corner. But instead, the game has one final curveball to throw.

The last world Coda shared with Davey was his most impressive, and his most demanding. An enormous tower that stretches upwards through endless dark space. To approach it, the player has to make it through a maze with invisible walls: touching any wall means death. And even if they manage to get through this, there’s a locked door where the switch is on the other side of the door — it’s simply impossible to open. (As ever, Davey is on hand to warp the player past both of these obstacles, if they choose.)

Once the player has passed through every one of Coda’s impossible challenges, they find a gallery, with a series of messages on the walls.

‘Would you stop taking my games and showing them to people against my wishes?’

‘Would you stop changing my games? Stop adding lamp posts to them?’

‘The fact that you think I am frustrated or broken says more about you than about me.’

This, then, is the real story of The Beginner’s Guide. It is a confession of sorts: Davey’s interference with Coda’s work has gone beyond packaging it in an accessible way. He’s adopted it entirely. And as Davey explains, in a rare moment of honesty, he’s come to directly identify with certain aspects of it. Coda’s worlds express something that Davey’s conventional persona cannot talk about. And Davey wanted to share them with the world because the ensuing admiration made him feel valued; but in doing so, he may have destroyed something essential about them.

Perhaps Coda wasn’t a depressed person after all. His messages to Davey seem to suggest as much; or as Davey puts it: ‘Maybe he just likes making prisons’. Depression and anxiety are not generally conducive to creativity, and Coda was nothing if not creative.

But we aren’t quite at the end of the game.

The final sequence is an epilogue. It’s the only part of the game which isn’t framed as Coda’s work.

A train station leads to a windowless train carriage. The train leads to a station outside a stately home, the lofty rooms filled empty but for heaps of sand. More caves, more columns of dark and light. Then we are out into a little empty abstract space of bright yellows and blue skies, a visual tone not dissimilar to Coda’s first map for Counterstrike. And then down a little hole in the ground and we’re in that space ship again from the start of the game. Here again is that laser beam, so strangely broken; what do you think will happen if the player walks into it?

Davey is talking again, but this time from the heart. He’s no longer interpreting, nor commenting on the environment: he’s just telling us how he feels. It’s refreshing, and true. In this moment, what we have suspected all along comes to pass: Davey and Coda have become one and the same.

It’s to the game’s credit that a player might feel uncomfortable at this stage, as though they had accidentally wandered into a personal conflict between two old friends. But nothing happens by accident here, no more than it does in any other video game. The question of whether or not Coda ought to be considered a ‘real person’, so often raised around the release of The Beginner’s Guide, is not without interest; but not for the reasons many people thought. In the reality of the game, Coda is no more or less fictional than Davey Wreden.

The world was always Davey’s, in every sense. Perhaps Coda was only ever a part of him: one that he originally believed he could hold at an arm’s length, but which he eventually comes to embrace. By the time we reach the end, he’s absorbed Coda’s lessons and moved beyond them. He knows that the home is a prison, and that the prison is the maze, and that the maze is a the world. He’s realised that it might be possible to create a thing which is both an entertaining experience and a valid means of personal expression, without necessarily telling the player how to feel about it at every juncture. In other words, he’s ready to create something that looks a lot like The Beginner’s Guide.

#gaming #the beginner's guide #the stanley parable

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endeavoring-doctor-blog · 7 years

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Entry #2

Hello again. First things first, let me give you an update on my day so far. It’s only 4 PM, so who knows what might happen. It’s been an off-day, which is quite annoying seeing that yesterday was such an on (right?) day. I was so productive yesterday and feeling so awake and energized but today, anxiety was through the roof. I’m shaky, anxious, and have a general feeling of fogginess, like I’m floating through today in the clouds. I don’t feel 100% present because I just feel so confused in my own thoughts & irrational fears. My first guess at this is because I just started to take vitamin supplements. Just a simple one-a-day women’s multivitamin with some magnesium and turmeric supplements on the side. I noticed yesterday that an hour or so after I took them, my energy sky-rocketed. I was a little uncomfortable at first, but I sort of eased into it and got my work done. Today however, it was a little too much. I felt super uneasy, restless, fatigued, and unable to concentration. It was almost as if I was going into some sort of manic state. I’m thinking it might be the B vitamins in the multivitamins that are making me feel a bit bonkers. I’m going to test this tomorrow by cutting my multivitamin in half and taking that with my magnesium and turmeric and see how that makes me feel. I’ve taken magnesium by itself before in the past and it never caused be any problems, so I have a feeling these vitamins might be the underlying issue. Readers, you’re going to have to get used to this. I tend to try and diagnose myself or try and figure out the underlying issues of my current-state-of-mind on my own. There’s no one that knows myself better than i do and being so constantly in my head all the time, I know when something isn’t right. With that being said, I love to analyze every crevice of my brain, personality, and everything about myself to better understand not only what the issue is but also to better understand myself as a whole. This past year and a half has been a lot of that. A lot of self-reflection and figuring out exactly what makes me, me! It’s scary, but at the same time, very exciting. This feeling of uneasiness and restlessness led me to start pondering about the various irrational fears and stresses in my life. For example, I woke up this morning to me remembering the conversation I had with my boyfriend on the phone. It was a usual conversation, like any other, filled with lots of “i love you” and “i miss you” but then we started getting into finances. When he came up to visit this past weekend (we do long-distance even though we only live about 1 hour away from one another) and we just splurged. Needless to say, we spent a lot. He started discussing other job options that he could take and mentioned going back into restaurant-managing. As he said, if he were single, he’d go do it and make a lot more money that way. The words “if I was still single” resonated in my head like not other. The logical side of me knows that he didn’t mean he wished he were single or that this relationship was a burden to him, but my irrational side just wouldn’t have it this morning. All I could think about this morning was whether I was burdening him with our relationship or that he’d be better off without me because he would be spending less money, would think of himself rather than both of us, etc. I know these fears are irrational, HOWEVER, I am unable to stop thinking of them. The perks of anxiety am I right? Because I was already thinking of our financial topics talk, I began to stress about money. I don’t have a job, well kind-of. I walk dogs and pet-sit on the side to earn some form of income. I’ll be going to Vegas this weekend for my best-friends birthday and lets just say I have to be very stingy with my money. I have a couple of walking and house-sitting gigs coming up soon but they’ll be in the next 2 months, whereas I could really use the money like NOW. On-top of that, I also have to buy her a birthday present. This was brought to my attention when she told me about her wonderfully spent birthday yesterday, leaving me feel inadequate and that I have to do more for her. I was so happy to hear about her day and how well she spent it, but the conversation made me feel bad that I didn’t send her a package or something on her birthday and was waiting until I saw her in Vegas. Irrational thoughts again. Next came the wonderful stresses over school! Yay! My Favorite. I have a midterm coming up this week in my Physics of the Environment class. Let me remind you, I am NOT a physics major, I actually despise the subject (sorry) and my brain simply doesn’t understand it as well as it understands biology or other concepts. It’ll be open book, open laptop, open note, open EVERYTHING but I’m just scared I’ll have a huge brain-fart and just completely forget how to do any math! Hopefully it’s not too bad. On top of that, I have a group project in that class and having to manage my time during the week is difficult (because I’m almost always occupied every weekend). And who could forget worrying about the future? Certainly not me. I’ll be taking the MCAT this summer after I complete my course and the idea of that test honestly scares the living shit out of me. Not only the content and the length of the exam, but the fact that it LITERALLY is my ticket to medical schools (at least through the primary application process). My GPA is not at the average 3.7-3.8 so my MCAT score is what’s going to be making me a competitive applicant. I’m scared to study for it, I’m scared to take it, and I’m scared that my score will not be good enough. Overall, I’m just scared. It’s a giant hurdle, no no, scratch that, a giant fucking WALL that I need to learn to park-core over or some shit. I know I can do it, I’m just scared. FINALLY, everyone is already getting post-grad jobs and everything! Meanwhile I have to still do my course and finish up two more classes in the Fall before even considering working anywhere. I know everyone is on different time-lines but I can’t help but compare myself to others I surround myself with and question whether I should be looking for a job too? So that’s it for my daily anxiety and worries. Onto more productive things! I’ve wanted to create a Goal List for the month of May. I used to create the bullshit “New Years Resolutions” but let’s be realistic here, you almost always forget those after a month or two. So let’s try and be realistic by taking it step by step, or in this case, one month at a time. By hopes in creating this is that when the month ends, I’ll be able to look back at my list, see which ones I’ve accomplished (or haven’t) and use that to brain-storm another set for the following month. So here goes. —————————————————————————————————- List of Goals for May 1. Eat healthier (seriously, stop snacking on junk food, resist!) 2. EXERCISE - Start running like you used to! 3. Practice breathing techniques; they’re not as stupid as you think they are 4. Draw at least one piece of artwork 5. Have a nightly face-washing & flossing routine 6. Create an MCAT study plan for the summer 7. Express yourself more; don’t hold it in and DO NOT be afraid of being “too much” 8. Call to check in with your parents & best-friends more, one simple call can make a HUGE difference 9. Write these entries at least once a day - keep writing it all out! 10. Continue to think of at least 3 things that make you happy throughout the day —————————————————————————————————- I think that’s enough for now, and in accordance with Goal #10, I’ll also put in my 3 happy things for today (even though I know the day is only half over). —————————————————————————————————- May 2nd; 3 Happy Things 1. Making a goals-list (that’s do-able) 2. Calling one of my best-friends from home to see how she was doing 3. The tree’s rustling in the wind and how beautiful they look —————————————————————————————————- Ahh. Officially done. Thank you.

#mental health #diary #my fears #anxiety #health professional #health #aspiring doctor #doctor #college student

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tellytantra · 5 years

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Turning on the radio gifted by her dear husband on their third wedding anniversary Naina put on her favourite apron that was green in colour and said, "Food is symbolic of love when words are inadequate." She was humming with song being played on the radio and was working swiftly to make herself some pancakes. Pancake craving at the time when it's almost lunch time, pregnancy craving don't see time Naina. While she was working on the batter of the pancake, the doorbell rang. It rang twice in the time of six seconds. With one hand covered in batter and other with dry flour, Naina managed to open the door for that impatient soul on the other side of the closed door who rang the doorbell for nine times in just three minutes. Before she could yell at the person for annoying her with the doorbell, she was engulfed in a huge bear hug. "I missed you so much." She heard the person mumble near her neck. After giving few sloppy kisses on Naina's cheeks, he finally let go of his wife he missed so dearly for the past one week. Naina, who became super happy seeing Sameer right back to her was still angry over the fact that he didn't even budge to pick up her phone on his oh-so-important one week long business trip to London. He doesn't have any idea how miserable she was when he didn't pick her phone up on the first day. She was thankful of Ayaan, his secretary who informed her everything was okay. Sheathing all her anger, Naina moved away from him, without a word, to her work of making herself some pancakes. Sameer looked at her back and was slightly taken aback by her behaviour. "Honey, you're okay?" Sameer tried to talk to her. But, Naina being Naina, she ignored him and continued to make the batter. "You angry?" Sameer asked nonchalantly thinking that would be the last think Naina will be, not aware of the fact that she's two months pregnant and is high on Pregnancy mood swings. Also, he was not aware of the fact that he did a grave mistake of not attending his wife's phone calls. That's the last thing a husband is supposed to do. "Get out!" Naina said calmly seeing Sameer moving here and there around her with a carrot in his mouth. Sameer paused for few seconds thinking he heard something wrong. "You said something?" Sameer asked in order to clear what he heard was actually said by his dear wife. "I said get out of my sight. I don't want you anywhere near." Naina said pouring the batter in the pan and spreading it evenly. Sameer was taken aback. "You seem to be really angry. Naina. Jaan. I'm sorry for whatever wrong I did. Don't be angry na. We're together after such a long time." Sameer slid his hands on her waist. She jerked him away. All the anger she held resurfaced. "Accha. Toh now you remember you have a wife. When I was constantly calling you, you didn't have a single minute to pick my call. I called you for 95 times dammit. You know how scared I was for you. But no. Tumhein humari fikr kahan hoti hai. Now just go away. We can manage." Fresh tears made its way down her cheeks. She turned off the stove and went to the bedroom. Sameer didn't understand why was she reacting that way. He had left her for business trips in past too but she never reacted this way. "We can manage." Her last sentence echoed in his ears. "What does she mean by that?" Sameer thought to himself. Oh, stupid you. Silly boy. Climbing the stairs as fast as he could, Sameer reached to the bedroom to be welcomed by a locked door. He banged it hard and asked Naina what had happened. Naina got up from the bed on which she was sobbing and slid a report file from the space underneath the door. Sameer picked up the papers and quickly went through it. Not understanding the medical terms he asked again if she's ill. She didn't respond. Sameer flipped the pages of reports and he understood just one thing out of all the terms. 'Pregnancy test - Positive'(Purely fictitious) "Naina open the door please." Sameer said anxiously. Naina didn't move from her side of the bed. It was his time to repay. "Honey please open the door." Sameer said again. With every passing second he was getting more anxious. He needed to see her, right now. He banged the door again. He had this happy hormone rush in his veins and he needed to hug his wife and his baby as soon as he can. He looked at the reports once again and banged the door once again. Aye kaash ke hum Hosh mein ab aane na paayein Aye kaash ke hum Hosh mein ab aane na paayein Bas nagmein tere pyaar ke Gaate hi jaayein "Balcony. Yes." Thinking of jumping in the bedroom from the balcony seemed like brilliant idea to him, anything to make him reach his wife. Climbing the metal ladder that was kept for fixing some wires, he jumped in the balcony, of course, without making noise. He saw Naina facing the other side. "You thought you can keep my wife away from me?" Sameer said sitting beside her. "Ha! Wife. You have started to crack good jokes these days." It was sarcastic from Naina's side. Pregnant women get too sarcastic at times. "Baby, tell Mumma that Daddy is sorry." Sameer was on his knees in front of Naina holding his ears. "Baby is also angry. Huh." Naina looked the other side. Sameer swiftly moved beside her and hugged her, whispering few more sorry. His hug always melts her down. Argh! She hates it. She held him tightly and sobbed a bit more. "I missed you." Naina said between her sobs. "Ah! Don't cry please." Sameer caressed her hair. Aye kaash ke hum Hosh mein ab aane na paayein Aye kaash ke hum Hosh mein ab aane na paayein "By the way, you never behaved like this before. I'm sorry I didn't know you will get so worried." Sameer still had Naina in his arms caressing her. "Pregnancy mood swings stupid." Naina told this Dad-to-be as the matter of fact. "Oh!" Sameer giggled. "You gotta make me some Apple custard right away. I wanna have it." Naina came out of the second longest hug she had with him. The first one was when he proposed him for marriage if you all don't know. "What? Apple custard? And you? Don't you hate them to death?" Naina was surprised. "I guess your baby loves it as much as you do." Naina laid on the bed. Her back was hurting a bit. Sameer chuckled and went straight away to the kitchen to get her some apple custurd till she rests. Khilti mehekti yeh zulfon ki shaam Hanste khanakte yeh hothon ke jaam Khilti mehekti yeh zulfon ki shaam Hanste khanakte yeh hothon ke jaam Aa jhoom ke saath uthayein Bas nagmein tere pyaar ke Gaate hi jaayein It took Sameer exactly three hours to make the entire lunch with of course Apple custard. Naina took a nap till then. Setting the table with some rose and while lilies, Sameer took out his apron. Sorta lunch date it was but Naina enjoyed it. "Why didn't you tell me before that you were pregnant. I would've cut short my trip and would have been with you guys." Sameer took Naina's hands in his and rubbed it. "After leaving you at the airport, I went for the check up because I was feeling nauseous for quite some time. I did want to tell you in a beautiful way. Never mind. By the way, you gotta get me some blueberry ice cream. Now!" Naina is gonna give tough time to Sameer. Haha! Hazards of having a Pregnant wife. Aye kaash ke hum Hosh mein ab aane na paayein Aye kaash ke hum Hosh mein ab aane na paayein Bas nagmein tere pyaar ke Gaate hi jaayein Aye kaash ke hum Hosh mein ab aane na paayein Sitting on the terrace on a cold starry night with the one you love is the best thing in the world. "Thank you Naina for the best gift of my life." Sameer was staring at the moon that lit brightly today. A tiny tear fell from the corner of his eyes. Happy tears they say. "I have never said this to you because I think you already know, Naina, you mean the world to me. Before you, I was just a stone-hearted human not into relationships at all. You made that heart beat. You made this house a home. You fixed my scattered life. Thank you for everything." Wiping the corner of his eyes he pecked her cheeks. "Baby, I'm thankful to you for choosing me as your Daddy. I promise to keep you and your Mumma happy always. Daddy loves you and your Mumma to the Neptune." He talked to baby who's yet to understand what he was talking. Pregnancy took a toll on Naina. She dozed off on Sameer's shoulder. He just looked at his adorable wife. Yeah! Adorable Pregnant Wife. He picked her up and took her to the bedroom. Ho bas agar tum hamare sanam Hum toh sitaroon pe rakh dein qadam Ho bas agar tum hamare sanam Hum toh sitaroon pe rakh dein qadam Saara jahaan bhool jaayein Bas nagmein tere pyaar ke Naina was sitting on the couch feeling uneasy. She called for Sameer who was in the kitchen preparing some spaghetti she was craving for a while back. Hearing Naina moaning in pain, Sameer reached to her. They both were sure it wasn't a labour pain because she was just 27 weeks pregnant but still Sameer decided to take her to the doctor. After driving for about half an hour, they reached the maternity home. Doctor examined and told that they have to deliver the baby prematurely due to some complication Sameer didn't understand. Sameer was restlessly walking in the corridor outside the labour room. Occasionally he could hear Naina screaming and his heart would come to his mouth. After about three hours he heard the squeal of the baby. There were tears in his eyes. Never in his life he thought he'll get so much of happiness. Naina was shifted in a private ward. Holding not one but two bundle of joys in her hand, she smiled at Sameer who blinked away the little happy tears. He rushed to her and pecked her thanking for all the happiness she had given him. "You got your little Naina." Naina said giving him the delicate fairy. He kissed her and she smiled. "Even you got your little Sameer." He said looking at the other man who rested as close to his wife as he does. Sitting beside Naina, he hugged her. "Thank you for giving me the perfect family." Aye kaash ke hum Hosh mein ab aane na paayein Aye kaash ke hum Hosh mein ab aane na paayein Bas nagmein tere pyaar ke Gaate hi jaayein "Ooo. Daddy. You went to Shimla for honeymoon kya?" A little toddler sitting in Sameer's lap flipping the photo album giggled. "No no. That was a business trip where your Mumma also tagged along because she wanted to see snow." Sameer explained to his four year old angel. "Oh! By the way Daddy, I was thinking one day, whom do you love more, me, Mumma or Zeo?" Sameer was left in a deep thought. "Hmm. Sorry to say Saina but I love your Mumma the most because it is for her that I got two precious gift in you and Zeo." Sameer kissed Saina saying that. "I knew that. Lemme make it difficult for you. Whom do you love more, Me or Zeo?" Saina gave that toothly smile that was characteristic to Naina. "That's not fair Sweetheart." Saina giggled and hugged him. "I know you love me more." Aye kaash ke hum Hosh mein ab aane na paayein Aye kaash ke hum Hosh mein ab aane na paayein "Saina have your food sweetheart. Mumma and Zeo will be home any time and Mumma will shout at Daddy if you'll not finish your breakfast." Sameer was running behind Saina holding a bowl of Daliya. "Daddy you're afraid of Mumma. Hihihi." Saina stopped in her tracks seeing Naina glaring at Sameer. Saina was laughing all the more at her Daddy's condition. "Toh this is what you think of me? I'm a monster na that you are afraid of?" Naina said releasing Zeo's hands who ran to his sister and joined her in giggling at their poor Daddy. "Meet me in the room please." Naina stomped her legs and went to the bedroom. Sameer was terrified and both the kids let out their suppressed laughter and laughed heartily. Sameer ran upstairs. "Sorry Naina. I didn't mean that. I was just." Before he could finish his sentence he received a bear hug from the warmest people he knew. "I missed you." She had her plump lips curved into pout against his chest. "I missed you more." Sameer secured her in his tight grip, not wanting her to go away again. Kissing his cheeks, Naina hugged him once again as if her life depended on him. They heard their Kids screaming at each other and that made them giggle. Zindagi agar gham deti hai toh usse beshumaar khushiyan dena bhi aata hai..... Writer: OctoThorpe

http://jodifiction.blogspot.com/2019/09/samaina-os-aye-kaash-ke-hum-sameer.html

#SEO #Local SEO training Samaina OS || Aye Kaash ke Hum || Sameer | Naina | YUDKBH http://jodifictio

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mohamadpros · 6 years

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Somebody may not remember it, but rather their starch desires may really be her body's method for helping her to feel more joyful. In the previous two decades, various investigations have affirmed a connection between specific nourishments and our capacity to feel more alarm, quiet, and even energetic. "We've discovered that a few nourishments impact the generation of mind synthetic concoctions that are straightforwardly engaged with deciding our disposition, mental vitality, execution and conduct says Judith Wurtman, a sustenance analyst at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.

Some great disposition nourishments may as of now be silting in your kitchen. Here are probably the most critical ones.

Entire Grain Bread

Most nourishments contain at least one of 20 distinctive amino acids, atoms found in creature and plant proteins fundamental for good wellbeing. Like the lobbyists, amino acids contend to convey messages to the mind. For this situation, eating a couple of cuts of plain, entire grain bread enables the amino corrosive tryptophan's to message be "heard": unwind, be glad. When it enters the cerebrum, tryptophan helps levels of serotonin, the calming, temperament raising mind synthetic likewise invigorated by the energizer Prozac.

Try to eat the bread in front of any protein rich dinner or cheddar. This enables tryptophan to enter the cerebrum before other amino acids can swarm it out.

Turkey

This low-fat protein source is wealthy in an amino corrosive called tyrosine, which helps levels of the cerebrum synthetic substances dopamine, and norepinephrine, and thusly enhances inspiration and response time. U. S. military research has demonstrated that tyrosine lifts vitality levels and encourages the body to adapt belter to pressure.

A turkey sandwich or turkey noodle soup may deliver similar outcomes. Viable other options to turkey are fish and chicken.

Meat

Finish evasion of red meat may accomplish more mischief than great. Individuals on low cholesterol weight control plans may encounter press inadequacies that influence them to feel drained and blue. Press keeps the body's cells powered with oxygen and, therefore, invigorated.

Illinois State University sustenance educator Jan Shane found that the individuals who ate as meager as three ounces of meat, a little burger, every day ingested 50 percent more iron than those on a veggie lover abstain from food, proposing that a smidgen of hamburger might be a decent vitality source, "Purchasers need to change their reasoning about hamburger as something that is horrible for them, "says Shane. "You have to eat just around three ounces of it every day to essentially enhance your iron ingestion. "

Water

Gentle lack of hydration is a typical however regularly disregarded reason for weariness, says Elizabeth Somer, creator of Food Mood. At the point when the body gets dried out, blood stream to the organs diminishes and the body backs off. Drinking enough water every day can keep you from feeling lazy.

In any case, don't depend on thirst, Somer says. Most grown-ups should drink eight to ten glasses of water for every day. Jazzed soda pops and espresso, notwithstanding, are no substitute. They may go about as diuretics and increment lack of hydration.

Bananas

Magnesium insufficiency and stress are connected so intently that a few specialists and dietitians prompt individuals who have rushed existences to include magnesium-rich sustenances like bananas to their eating methodologies. Most Americans don't eat the Recommended Dietary Allowance (RDA) of magnesium (280 mg for ladies, 350 mg for men), says Dr. Mildred S. Seelig, previous leader of the American College of Nutrition. In the event that you juggle a feverish timetable, the issue is more terrible: push hormones, which surge the body amid limes of pressure empty magnesium out of cells, bringing about lower protection from colds and infections and a worn out inclination.

Scientists have likewise discovered that expanded magnesium in-take brings about less nervousness and better rest. On the off chance that you don't care for bananas, other great magnesium sources are nuts, beans, and verdant greens.

Oranges and Grapefruits

Analysts have discovered that even a little insufficiency in vitamin C, a key element for boosting levels of invigorating norepinephrine, can abandon you feeling touchy and blue, An absence of vitamin C rich sustenances likewise hinders your body's capacity to retain the iron it needs to battle weakness.

In a 2001 investigation of in excess of 1000 men, German scientists found that among those with diets just marginally inadequate in vitamin C, a day by day measurements of 150 mg, generally the sum in two oranges, brought about less anxiety, crotchetiness and sorrow.

Devouring more than this measure of vitamin C may influence you to feel much more perky. College of Alabama specialists found that the individuals who frequently devoured in excess of 400 mg of vitamin C every day (around two 12-ounce glasses of crisply pressed squeezed orange or six oranges) were half as worn out as the individuals who expended under 100 mg. every day. Vitamin C supplements are additionally viable.

Brazil Nuts.

Because of the rich soil in which they develop, Brazil nuts are stacked with selenium, a follow mineral that some exploration has connected to cheery states of mind.

In a recent report including 17 men and 33 ladies at the University of Wales, Swansea, those given 100 micrograms of selenium (the likeness maybe a couple Brazil nuts) every day for five weeks detailed a more prominent feeling of joy, more vitality and a decrease in uneasiness contrasted with members given a fake treatment. These outcomes were particularly obvious among those with low levels of dietary selenium, representing the significance of having an adequate measure of this mineral in your eating routine. Other great wellsprings of selenium: fish, meat and entire grain breads.

Chocolate

Numerous ladies want chocolate, particularly when they're experiencing premenstrual disorder (PMS) or when fatigue or stress strikes. There are various conceivable explanations behind this. A few specialists trust that like numerous sweet sugars, chocolate may have a relieving impact. Others recommend that caffeine and comparative substances in chocolate may go about as stimulants. In the case of nothing else? The sheer delight of eating it might be all you have to lift your spirits.

Espresso

That morning glass truly can kick off your day. Late research connects the measure of caffeine in one to two glasses to clear reasoning and more vitality for up to three hours. In an examination of50 restless individuals, the measure of caffeine in as meager as 1.5cups of espresso supported their fixation, vitality and certainty levels.

A few specialists trust caffeine causes a slight, transitory ascent in circulatory strain and squares hormonal couriers that break us to rest. Be that as it may, more than a few mugs multi day may make you fractious and anxious.

Smudge Peppers

On the off chance that you like hot salsa, you might be pulled in to more than its taste. As indicated by University of Pennsylvania specialist Paul Rozin, capsaicin can invigorates the mouth's nerve endings, causing a consuming sensation. Accordingly, Rozin conjectures, the mind discharges endorphins, characteristic painkillers that may deliver an impermanent high.

In this way, the more hot peppers you eat, the more grounded the calming impact. Actually, some hot pepper darlings may simply be snared on the high. Lesson of this story: when you eat certain sustenances you may end up dependent on remaining in a decent state of mind.

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