#if that makes sense idk i have a headache

[relaxxattack]

every time someone calls moirallegience just an alien qpr i wilt a lil like YEAH thats more or less the CLOSEST human thing but its also Literally Not That. like a qpr is fundanmentally not romantic and thats not even going into moirails whole Actual Purpose of calming ppl down. its just. aughhhhh pisses me off i see the confusion but, as aformentioned, aughhhhh

OH MY GOD THIS HAS BEEN BOTHERING ME TOO.... but i don't want to get petty at the people in my notes always saying "moirails are QPRs!" because in some ways that is the closest human thing so it's hard to be mad...

i think there's definitely some overlap in some ways. but NOT because moirallegiance and qprs are the same at all really, but INSTEAD because both relationships have unconventional boundaries defined by the people within them.

you know... like every relationship.

like the only reason the two have overlap is because they are both partnerships that emotionally care for each other but can choose to not bang (which is true for any romance anyway, even if it's considered abnormal). they're both just romances* that are unconventional to human norms, which makes people view them as the same thing when they're not.

i think the REAL issue here is that humans insist on using human words to understand things that are just, fundamentally, alien. can't we just appreciate alien romance for being... alien romance?

no, it's not platonic, it's romantic. it's just romantic in a way you aren't quite wired to understand, is all.

*in generalization, most QPRs are not romantic, because they are made up of aroaces who are life partners in a non-romantic way. however i want to disagree with you that none of them are romantic, because that is up to the partners in question.

#quadrants #homestuck #moirallegiance #BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS FOR SO LONG OMG THANK YOU FOR THE ASK #its just i USED to think they were the same #and then recently i kept getting pissy when people said they were the same so i was like. okay let's unpack this #what's the overlap here and what's the differences? #and really people THINK theyre the same because they think theyre both like. 'im gonna platonically marry my friend!' ^w^ #(which is obviously not actually what either of them are like. lol) #when REALLY what they have in common is 'hey you're a person i want to have a committed partnership. but potentially not sex or tradition' #and it's not really fair to compare them because they come from totally different places and have totally different standards #QPR was created as an ALTERNATIVE to allonorms. its about saying 'hey lets make up our own rules. my life partner can be platonic if i want #whereas moirallegiance IS a norm and its not counter any culture. it's just 'trolls have biological romantic feelings/needs in This way.' #idk idk how to explain it any further because ive spent a fucking hour on this post and i have a massive headache so feel free to ask me-- #more specific questions if the shit i said here doesnt make any sense (；￣ー￣).. #<- wow haha the troll fictive autism really jumped out with this post huh. whoops #hsmeta #long post #op

[raiiny-bay]

he's a fashionable man

#ts4 #simblr #ts4 edit #ts4 render #sims 4 #myedits #dhestyn #kelly #sarnai by simspurgatory #aka dhes' bestie lmao #i just want you all to know that if i had the skills to make shit #dhes would have the wildest wardrobe #the man has the most headache-inducing fashion sense honestly #like it requires some confidence to leave the house looking like he does #these outfits barely scratch the surface of his fashion sense & that's only bc i'm limited by what cc items i can find #& eventually i just could not be bothered to keep looking for stuff #i lost motivation for this edit at least a billion times over the course of the last month #the fact that i finished it at all is a miracle #idk if i even like it anymore honestly. tired of lookin at dhes' smug ass face. i could fight him #i WOULD fight him actually #find me & him in the denny's parking lot at 2 am duking it out #i would absolutely lose but i would at least feel better after he yeeted me into the side of the building #there would be a rai-sized dent in the bricks

[divine-misfortune]

hypo empathetic rain is amazing, please share if you have anymore thoughts about that because im obsessed

I think Rain shuts down sometimes when it gets to be too much.

When the previous three Papas died "unexpectedly", he watched everyone else grieve and felt helpless to do much of anything. He didn't really know them, and of course it's sad they died, it's sad when anyone dies, but he can't seem to grasp the depths of everyone else's sadness.

Rain watched his pack cry. He watched Aether, the steadiest of them all, fall to pieces. He watched something bright and beautiful be snuffed out of Mountain's eyes. He watched Dewdrop go alarmingly quiet, scarily tense, and quickly retreat before something raw and ugly could make itself visible. Rain watched every second of it like an outsider looking in.

Nothing he could say would ease the sting or lighten the burden, honestly it felt like when he tried he only made things worse. His attempts at comfort are dry and almost disingenuous. Rain pulls away for everyone else's sake, allow them to mourn without his seemingly callous demeanor.

He goes quiet, fearing every word will come out wrong and misinterpreted. He stops meeting other's gazes, unable to stomach the glassy sorrow he can do nothing to fix.

He avoids. He withdraws. He makes himself scarce.

And he loathes every second of it. Not because he's angry at anyone else, they have every right to their pain after all. It is a frustration that roots itself deep in his chest, growing inward and tangling up in his ribs. Rain loves his pack more than the world, more than all of Hell could ever understand, but he feels he can do nothing for them, and that is what angers him - this awful useless feeling.

#idk if my thoughts are making sense i have a sort of headache and my brain feels like its melting but i tried to make smthn coherent! #void rambles #answered #nameless ghouls #rain ghoul

[ganondoodle]

sorry about that last rambling post, i didnt mean to sound like its worse than it may be, but i got no ... lense to view it through but my own, and the main reason i wrote it out anyway was bc i needed to get it out (even if posting it might be not the greatest idea) .. and bc it kinda showcases, i think, how my stories kinda write themselves, involuntarily in a way? its not like im not putting in any effort- but its like .. i cant STOP it always keeps going and even the dumbest idea stays in some form, its very hard to get everything in place bc theres so much going on all the while i am very slow at making anything, writing or drawing anything, especially anythign coherent is very hard bc not only do i get constantly distracted, i get distracted by my own thoughts suddendly skipping to a certain scene and me having to go throguh imagining in detail NO MATTER how many times i have done it before for the same scene that i already decided on how it goes, when theres a new idea it can take over my entire day bc i cant let go of it-

not trying to sound either like im the only that has that sort of problem, but i think its a big part as of why i start tso many projects without being able to finish them, or even start them bc i constantly have to fight my own thoughts from derailing into another daydream session, thinking of too much too fast than i can ever draw or even write about and not knowing what is worthwhile and what isnt (im telling you i have no idea what is good and what isnt, idk why but for all i know all things i do could be trash, or they all could be bad, maybe the one i thinnk is decent is actually worse than the things i deem not good enough and once i start to think no this isnt good enough i stop having fun making or thinking it bc im trying to do better

honestly its kind of impressive that i can get anything out at all, not to pat myself on the back there but even if i hate how long it takes me, considering how much im having to work just to start working on something at all, the fact that i could post stuff coherent enough for some people to understand AND LIKE is something i should be a little more proud of

#ganondoodles talks #personal #sorry today is a bit of a brain fart day #got a headache and have wasted the entire time until now (5pm) with watching old analysis videos i have watched 5 times already #and crying over undertales music #how much could i get done if i didnt have to deal with thought trains going 200 above speed limit #also didnt mean to sound mean to people who like the things i deem cringy #BC I DONT KNOW WHAT IM TALKIGN ABOUT 90% OF THE TIME #I DONT KNOW IF ITS GOOD maybe it is #my judgement of my own stuff is pretty random #.... maybe thats why i can work with fanstuff that adheres to lore better #bc it sets limits for me #it gives me options of rails to derail onto without falling straight into the woods #idk if that made sense either #... i need to start drinking more #(and i guess by calling some of my stuff cringe bc i am entirely unsure of its quality im trying to make myself smaller than i am) #(so if it turns out to be actually bad- im more safe from ridicule since LOOK I AM SELF AWARE) #and there i go letting my thoughts spin further #maybe ill delete both of these posts tomorrow when i realize how dumb this is to say in the first place

[torgawl]

i keep thinking about how “is this what justice means to you, answer me neuvillette”, despite having been used in a case all those hundred of years ago, was probably a question that haunted - and still haunts - neuvilette during the entire time he has been chief of justice. i keep thinking about how they highlighted his struggles through time with both carole and wriothesley's trials. how guilty and powerless neuvillette must have felt for not being able to support and save those he recognised as vulnerable and victims before a system that corrupted their fates but that he wasn't able to change despite his position. the theme of being a casualty of a system no matter if you're the victim or the perpetrator in its eyes. the way neuvillette took, in both cases, things into his own hands. even if it was too late to fix the hurting carole and those who cared for her went through, even if it was too late to save her life; even if it was impossible to change wriothesley's past, his verdict and subsequent imprisonment; neuvillette went above and beyond, making use of his influence, to allow both melusines and wriothesley the opportunity of a better future - to melusines by making sure they weren't discriminated, to wriothesley by supporting his attempt at a second chance in life. i think part of the reason he's so intriguing is our awareness that this internal conflict he's bound to have is so complex. you have a chief of justice, or a judge, that is supposed to be imparcial and follow the law stictly confronted with situations of social injustice, unable to protect those who rely on him. you have someone who understands better than anyone what it means to be an outcast, being able to relate to those who are ostracised and have their pain weaponise against them. you have, in vautrin's case, a friend who cannot even showcase his own pain and is still expected to fullfil his juridical duties despite being personally related with those involved in the case. someone who people constantly turn to but whom he feels like he has no right to turn to himself. it's about the conflict between his feelings and his duty, between what's expected of him and what he can actually do. i think that's why the end of his story quest is so emotional and why it's so heartwarming to have him realise he isn't an outcast anymore, that he has a community there for him too. because a system is a system and he will probably never be able to save everyone, because yes he isn't human, but it doesn't mean he doesn't deserve to belong or that an active demonstration of love towards individuals and people he can relate to rather than the theoretical concept of humanity isn't meaningful. in fact, i'd it's a lot about that, about finding ways to be kind and how community gives meaning to life; how personal relationships and targeted kindness can shape society, or at least i think so

#i don't know if this makes sense but i like how character's stories in fontaine are interconnected in the perfect way that they're used to #give depth to each other while also existing perfectly independently #i forgot to add navia's story to the post but that's also another scenario used to characterise neuvillette #the same way wriothesley's backstory exists independently but it's also used to give depth into neuvillette's character and his motivations #the same way navia and clorinde's probably will as well #i always headcanoned (is that a verb 😂) neuvillette and wrio's friendship stemming from neuvillette trying to atone to his silence during #wrio's trial. i think it makes sense. i think it probably meant a lot to wrio too to have someone be so trustworthy after everything he #went through the betrayal from his adoptive family and his only aid through his life being the melusines who aren't human #and neuvillette being that sort of comforting older figure especially probably feels familiar to wrio #i have no idea what i'm trying to say actually i have a big headache at the moment and i feel almost delirious but i just love the concept #of neuvillette as a character and i think a lot about his friendship with wriothesley how it began and the grief and guilt neuvillette #probably still carries #but also about how he also gets the chance to a brighter future and how he achieves it so naturally without even realising #how he never expected anything from his compassion even if he saw it as duty and didn't interpret his own kindness as anything other than #his own responsabilty towards others #like idk am i making sense??? #he's just so cool 😂 #like yeah there's a layer of there's no reason he would have any animotisity towards humans because they're not at fault for the primordial #one's actions but from that to actually actively being so empathetic and compassionate goes a bit of a long way?! #okay i'm over i'll shut up this is probably si confusing i apologise if anyone read this mess shsjhs #this is also influenced by my tbk brainrot because loving others actively is a big theme and i just think that's beautiful actually #genshin thoughts #genshin impact #my post

[bandofchimeras]

people who insist on reducing all gender & sexual issues under white supremacist capitalist patriarchy to misogyny are a lot like class reductionists. guys. no one is saying that class isn't fundamental to these antagonisms we observe. (maybe some are but that's....fairly detached from reality). but why do class struggle, or misogyny, keep getting used to eclipse the racialized & colonial aspects of collective struggle, or undercut nuances within trans discourse?

#idk if this makes sense i have a headache rn #but its more like #reductionism in general #“oh x?” that's just y #you don't need another word for it" #paternalism? idk

[transfemlogan]

Its so strange enjoying a series where both the fandom and the creator. APPARENTLY. Dont know the characters.

Watching fans make remus in2 this Silly Guy, when his character is so much more than that, & making him into "intrusive thoughts", even though that's not what his trait is canonically. & being like "goodness, these fans. Im gonna turn on sanders si—" & then thomas & co r ALSO making him in2 a Silly Guy & reducing his character into "intrusive thoughts" despite having a 40 minute long video abt him & intrusive thoughts

#revy.txt #i have a headache & its 12 am idk if this makes sense but #ooaoug7uhghrhhh

[fluentisonus]

interesting that khuzdul doesn't have a 'th' sound when a lot of the most famous 'outer' names (originally from mannish dialects) the dwarves choose to use specifically do use that sound (thorin, thrain, thror, etc.)

#idk i don't have anything specific to say I just think it's interesting they chose names that are almost like deliberately non-khuzdul #if that makes sense. #thoughts #tolkien #I wonder if in ceremonies or smth when you'd need both khuzdul & the outer name they'd pronounce it 't horin' or the mannish pronunciation #I have too much of a headache to say anything intelligent but it's interesting to think about

[kenzie-ann27]

meanwhile my experience with being asexual is just like. constant self hatred and apologizing about it

#it's just. idk it's ace week and no one is talking about it #and i go in the tags and it's just. ace culture is basically all memes #and it's fine but like. i enjoy having serious conversations about it #i never get to talk about it because it's such a non thing #ace culture is like it's filling the hole that comes from not having a sexuality with jokes about bread and cake and dragons for some reason #but like. i want to talk about how sad and lonely it is a lot of the time. but it's a thing where it feels so self imposed #like of course no one wants to be romantic with me in any sense when i am so awkward from past trauma #combined with the fact that i will never be able to give them what they actually are aiming for #like. high school was fucking miserable. #i mean i'm already crying so why not make it worse here #it's just. i feel like i am missing out on so much and i hate that i am made to feel like this #and no one fucking takes me seriously when i try to talk about it #it's a big part of who i am and it's always a shadow because it just doesn't matter #i just... i want people to see the beauty not in filling that void with other memey shit and just. acknowledge the void #internally and externally and in every way possible being asexual is so crushingly lonely and no one ever talks about it #we're not in ba sing se we can talk about it please #and now i will apologize #and i will lay down because i have a headache and i need to calm down

[sunflowersand-bees]

Hey I'm like actually so mad about how Stan's suicide was portrayed in the movies and yes I've been mad about it before but it's hitting me again.

Like fuck no, he didn't kill himself to fucking help anyone.

The ONLY reason they beat IT the first time was because Stan was there. Because all seven of them were there. And he knows that.

But he also wasn't trying to sabotage them.

He was scared. He's been traumatized. His worldview was shattered by the events of his childhood.

His suicide really isn't surprising, and not just because it's shown in the very beginning of the book and the beginning of the second movie.

There is a ton of foreshadowing leading up to it. There are hints and clues.

Stan's death was an action he made because he was scared. He was afraid. It was a part of his character arc. (That feels like a poor choice of words, but I currently can't think of any better ones.) He did it to save himself from a fate that he believed would be worse than dying.

So don't romanticize it.

#stan uris #it #it 2017 #it stephen king #it chapter two #it chapter 2 #idk if this makes sense #its just my thoughts laid out in a post #if i contradict myself? oh well #i have a headache so #riv rambles #it chapter 1 #tw suicide

[if-loki-was-a-fox]

Feeling kinda anxious about this so justed wanted to put it out there again that I am able bodied and don't know a whole lot of physically disabled people irl, so if I ever do anything weird in depicting disabled characters (canon, OC, headcanon, wtv) please let me know and/or generally give me advice and point me in the right direction!

(preferably nicely because I am kind of very anxious, but if I'm being a jerk even on accident you obviously owe me nothing on that front!)

#I am very sleepy and have a cold and a headache rn so idk if this makes any sense #but yeah I do mean well and want to just make myself and other happy #the idea that I'm probably gonna get stuff wrong and upset people sometimes 'cus that's just how being a person works #is just stressing me out lately for no reason so I'm trying to remind myself that y'all can just. let me know #and then I can just change my behavior and fo better! #just me rambling

[noxchievous]

Lemmy again

#digital art #my suffering ends man #I made her a little more monstrous looking after her corruption becuz . I wanted to ^_^ #as in I've drawn a little bit more uncorrupted gems (which she is) since her initial design so I wanted to redo it a little #made her look like a shark. becuz she's a lemon quartz so.. lemon shark idk man it just happened whil I was drawing #she wasn't initially gonna be uncorrupted but it would only make sense for her to be. also she's super cute now !!!! #also forgive me for idulging in myself. she doesn't have a body this human; she's segmented just like most other gems. #she doesn't have fat reserves so her “excess” weight wouldn't fold like humans she's segmented like an ant #because that's how I interpret gems to be like... #anyways really glad I'm done w this finally ^_^ #now I have to make some refs for art fight. so that people aren't frustrated by how scattered all my references usually are #I go by muscle memory baby !! I work with whatever color references I have but that doesn't work for art fight so yea #sorry for rambling in my tags again (I'm not) I just deserve to after this headache of a piece and am thinking about a lot #Lemmy&Cateye #real proud of this I think it could be better though

[a-very-fond-farewell]

tried to take a day off from writing. still woke up at 5am. let’s write then 😈🔥

#sneaky niki #lamb loose liveblogging #I wanted to take a day off.. but my brain is now accustomed to wake up at 5 I guess?? #that’s so not fetch of me #topic of the day is: #I’m pissed bc I had to make a sensible decision and move a plot point a few chapters down the line #which is not fun #but feels more organic #judging by the way I’m keeping steady on this fic I think it will reach 300k #that’s a rough estimate #maybe 280k if I’m being generous instead of acting like a sadistic prick #but that’s just a theory #HDS is making it extremely hard for me to keep a steady pacing too #for example. recently he’s been giving me headache after headache about his growing sense of paranoia #he knows he isn’t sleeping enough #he knows he’s stressed af #the only reason why he has to trust one or two people in his life is bc he will turn absolutely insane if he doesn’t #and this is not me shaming #I remember how I was at my most paranoid during a prolonged episode #trust me. that ain’t fun #but he’s starting to hear things. that’s concerning. that’s suspicious. he needs help #but as usual. he refuses to acknowledge his limitations #also. attic-wifing your nemesis maybe isn’t a safe starting point to discuss with a trained professional during therapy #do criminals go to therapy? #I mean. not convicted ones. I do believe it’s part of their reintegration program. good for them #but like.. sneaky criminals? big fish evading taxes? one inconspicuous attorney holding his amnesiac crush hostage? #idk mate this is fiction #you have fun today ok? #go hug someone. or a pet. or a tree. #:D

[upsidedowngrass]

look, i know cheesy mostly answered that liam would listen to metal 1) because he was put on the spot and 2) likely because its funny to imagine liam ‘literally just some Standard Guy’ plecak as listening to music far more intense than he is, but tbh?? it is so fitting. like yeah, thats abt right for him. i cant even figure out how to explain how/if it coincides w what we see of him but like. its just the truth

#hfjone #hes literally so silly #bryce drives him to see a band he likes post one #and bryce is like. i thought you were gonna listen to fucking beatles covers. what #amelia ? also wouldnt have heard much music like this pre one but i think shed be SO interested #liam and amelia just chill on the floor listening to the loudest music possible #and bryce doesnt seem like someone who would care for like. more intense and noisy music #so hes like. wtf #(charlotte would join amelia and liam obv. bryce is on his own) #all four of them end up seeing a band together and bryce feels like hes herding cats #bc liam and charlotte both try to join the mosh pit and bryce is. hell no #and he has to force amelia to wear ear plugs (she is simply very invested in the music) and shes so sad #she doesnt take them out bc yeah ok that makes sense. but shes sad that the music is no longer as loud #(amelia and liam have a headache for two days after bc liam never put any in and amelia was sdidnt have any for at LEAST an hr) #(bryce tells them yeah. thats your own fault) #(he still gets them some ibuprofen tho lol) #also if this seems rambly its bc i went to a metal concert recently and it was fun and i acquired new knowledge #(idk if its the type of metal liam listens to esp since i am a bit new to the genre. but i still know things i didnt know b4 #and now i can write these highly specific interactions better now)

[enavant]

me, tiredly thinking, what if aphrodite kinda had like that thing like in the sil.ent hi.ll f trailer where flowers just grow everywhere but they hurt people. maybe...depending on her mood :thonk: but especially in her transformed form too. thinking about her charming people n making them dance toward her :') pretty n scary

#[ aphrodite getting angry n just apperating pretty flowers everywhere n spider lillies n they are painful hmmm ] #[ idk this could not make sense i have a headache all day n im dying but listen....i love....pretty but deadly things n i keep #thinking about it sm but also the charming people n they dance like uhhh jibaro ] #━━ ❥ headcanons » #??? idk maybe idk what u think idk

[sensazioneultra]

going to be real i don't know how i could stomach going to work lately if i didn't know the 'higher ups' at the place i work at are pro palestine and one of them has told me so himself more than once

#like i feel i'd lose my mind not having even a bit of certainty that i'm not working somewhere that is in conflict with what i value deeply #idk if any of this makes sense i have a headache but #idk. it's a tiny tiny bit reassuring #obviously this isn't anything against ppl who work someplace where ppl don't share their values like #we all have to eat i know things are complicated for everyone etc i'm just saying like #it makes me lose a bit less sanity in this situation to know this. that they believe in what i do