#if you dont get this bc youre not american shoot me an ask

[rookiesbookies]

So Im on a minor Soap obsession (Gaz obsession starts when @shotmrmiller posts about him, check out their Needs series bc 🤤) and by minor I mean major bc he and Gaz are my favs.

So i was like… what is Sergeant MacTavish met Captain MecTavish and his wife. Like HOW WOULD THAT GO???

Well dont fret bc I have an answer.

Under the cut

Yall can ignore this part it in italics bc doesnt mean anything but this is just my hc ig? But they dont change anything for what I wrote:

I feel like this woman is the definition of slim thick. She has the nicest birthing hips, a decently small sized waist, busty chest, a nice ass, and the thickest thighs. She has nice calves and is the definition of all natural. There isn’t a fake piece to her. She’s like 5’4” to the Captain, who stands behind her like a giant scary shadow.

I feel like she’s American and they bonded over both “hating” the brits.

She definitely has a size kink. Like has to.

She’s fiery. Like “my husband said no pickle,” type. The Captain knows if his wife goes “you need to handle it,” there’s a problem because there isn’t anything she won't take on. So it’s probably some douches asking to talk to her husband about buying a car or some shit.

Only part that kinda sticks is that I feel like she worked in intelligence? Idk

The good stuff:

The Captain sees Simon and pulls him into the biggest bear hug you’ve ever seen. Simon’s eyes are wide at the size of his once more nimble companion. His wife standing to the side shaking her head. No one knows who this strange lady is yet.

Price shakes his hand. Gaz is gawking at the size of this man, stating something like, “he’s the lumberjack and the whole forest.”

Sergeant Soap, out of habit started flirting with his wife from the future. The woman leans back against the counter top, sipping a water as the young lad flirts with her mercilessly.

“I’m almost old enough to be your mom.”

“I’ll just call you mommy.”

You get the point. Soap is basically purring at this lady as the Captain walks back over to her and wraps his arm around her hips, giving her a peck on the lips and Soap’s mouth falls open for the second time in a row.

Not only was he now the definition of manliness but he has the hottest woman he’s ever seen for a wife.

“That’s our bonnie?”

“That’s our bhean.” Which is Scottish Gaelic for wife. It rolls off the Captain tongue with 0 effort as his wife giggles lightly and presses a kiss to his neck.

Soap about faints.

“Do I miss when you used to flirt with me like that,” his wife turned to her husband and asked. The Captain moved to put an arm on either side, caging her in against the counter and helping her easily move to sit on top of it.

“Oh, I think ya do. Its that charm that won ya over after all. Got ya to marry me, dinnit?”

“If charm is what we’re calling the monster between your legs, then yes. Yes, it was.” The Scottish Captain laughed with his wife, a hearty chuckle that makes her hum in amusement and leave a peck on his scratchy beard. Soap about fainted again.

“WE’RE MARRIED TO A SUPERMODEL?”

“I’m an American Central Intelligence Agent, actually. We met putting Graves behind bars. Told him if he didn’t shoot him when we got him in the heli, I’d return his advances because Graves has some info I needed. Rest was history.” Her voice sounded like the best music Soap had ever heard. She was EVERYTHING. He’d pray to the ground she walked on and lick the rim of any cup she sipped from just to get a taste of her. He had a big fat crush on this woman.

The Captain could see the look in Soap’s eyes and sighed to himself. He forgot how much of a simp he was for his wife. He forgets how much of a simp he still is for his wife. Wondering if he still makes that dorky expression.

Soap tapped the Captain and pulled him into a different room. He got on his knees in front of his Captain self and begged, “PLEASE TELL ME HOW YOU DID IT. I NEED TO MEET THIS WOMAN NOW.” His hands clasped together, on his KNEES.

Captain MacTavish just pats his little mohawk and says “with time,” which makes sweet little Soap about CRY. Gave him some other small light hearted advice about her favorite flowers and that he’ll know when he sees her.

The Captain just makes his way back into the room and over to his wife. He gently returns to her, still seated on the counter, as she plays on her phone, and sticks his face into her chest with a content sigh. Her free hand goes to run her fingers through his hair and his arms tighten slightly around her waist.

Soap waddles in and his FOMO is off the hook. Simon shuffles over to him and in his best serious voice he goes, “I’d offer to let ya put your face in my tits but I don’t think mine are the kind ya looking for.” Before cackling to himself.

He heard the Captain mumble something to her about retiring, her having perfect birthing hips, and chubby Scottish babies which made poor little Soap break down.

She hummed back at comment about her having the job that’s less dangerous and how she’d let him have a whole little futbol team once he stopped doing the dangerous stuff. She pulled his head up, planted a kiss to his lips, and let his head fall right back.

His future is AWESOME.

Sergeant John ‘Soap’ MacTavish is officially excited for his future.

Masterlist is pinned on profile as always, don’t forget to leave me a comment or a request in my inbox to let me know what yall want to see!

Part 2 here

#cod x reader #call of duty #john soap mctavish x reader #soap mactavish

[octolingkiera]

12, 14, 17, 23!

omg hiiii anon~ lol thanks for the ask!! :0

(the list)

12. Favorite turtle across all iterations?

i havent seen most tmnts, so i don't know if i have a single favorite across All iterations, exactly, but i can name my favorite one(s) from the ones ive seen! (which are rise, MM, and 87)

(i need to watch more but there's scheduling conflicts with friends and sitting down to watch new stuff is so hard sometimes WAH)

SO!! for rise, my favorites are leo and donnie (they're constantly engaged in a fist fight in my head for who's number one, tho leo tends to edge donnie out more often) bc they're both just. chefkiss. hashtag relatable and also just absolutely hilarious

for 87 i really like raphael bc he's a snarky little shit, tho donatello is also really great bc he's just. casually unhinged lol

MM raph is also really great (and also lowkey unhinged) but i like the others as well. i feel like it'll be easier to pass judgement on favorites once the show is out and we get to see them in some different situations!!

as a bonus, just judging from fanworks ive seen, i think i'd also be a fan of 2003 donnie (who is also casually unhinged from the sounds of things) andddd idk, 2012 mikey??? he's just a silly lil guy

14. Which character would you want to be friends with?

ooooh uhhhh. prolly Any of the mikeys tbh LOL (except bayverse 💀) tho 87 raphael and rise leo and donnie would be an absolute riot to hang out with lol. i feel like the three of them together would just shoot the shit and be the WORST gossips but in like the best way lol

17. What’s your favorite pizza topping(s)?

im super lame in that my favorite toppings are just. cheese, pepperoni, sausage, bacon,,, lol. im not a fan of most vegetables, and something like hawaiian... i dont like ham at all, so that's a no from me just bc of that

23. If you could have a tmnt crossover with ANY other series, which would it be?

oooh that's a tough one. i feel like tmnt could make for some really fun crossovers with both other superhero series, and also series either based in NYC or having to do with like. weird scifi/fantasy/supernatural stuff. there's a LOT of like. aliens and robots and magic stuff in tmnt, (like WAY more than i expected going into the 87 show after rise) so i feel like a lot of stuff could be twisted to work well

ive seen some really good rise crossovers with marvel/dc, a few really fun danny phantom crossovers, and even a couple with gravity falls. ive ALSO seen a couple with sonic and some of them make me laugh so hard reading the summary that i don't think i'd be able to read them lol. the first fic i ever read with tmnt in it WAS actually a sonic crossover (that i read on ffn waaaaaay back in the day) so in a way it's like returning to my roots lol

i love seeing specific crossovers of my interests so if i see one that grabs my attention im all over it lol

more specifically, i would love to see a crossover with rise of the tmnt and american dragon jake long, and it's like. a future project of mine. i've been talking about it with a friend and telling her for Months that they have a lot in common and it would make for an interesting fic. there's some serious potential there i think!!

(on a more theoretical note, ive also done some really light brainstorming/daydreaming about a potential rise/undertale crossover bc i think it'd make for some neat scenarios lol)

#thanks for the ask! #i didn't expect to get any lol #i really need to watch 2003 at least #i can watch that one by myself #ive been holding off on the 90s movies bc i was hoping to one day watch them with friends #but we're all so busy and scattered around #and my 87 watch is on hiatus for now #but i have the dvd box set so it can be done whenever #i TRIED to watch 2012 once but so much about it threw me for SUCH a loop #and not in a good way fdkgljhndf #rob paulsen bud i love you but as donnie? you are not it. sorry #and now my personal archive tags!!! #ask #answer #anon #tmnt #rottmnt

[shaykeijser]

none of the skam austin characters were off campus yesterday taking the AP united states history exam?? in this economy!? unlikely.

#prev inspiredbynewt #skam austin #megan flores #jo valencia #kelsey russell #grace olsen #<- she 10000% would take it #zoya ali #tyler nunez #shay dixon #daniel williamson #nat watches skam #if you dont get this bc youre not american shoot me an ask #anyways im right :-)

[bigmammallama5]

im sorry, i saw the last post about rising the wages in usa

and im confused? cos like if yall are complaining about getting 14$ per hour, when that shit is literally close to double the amount people earn on average in my country (sk, in eu) ????? please :|

and the highest tax from personal income you got is 10.75%???? ...we got 20%

uhmmm what

okay.

if you account for inflation and the cost of living in the us a living wage SHOULD be closer to $25 an hour.

our federal minimum wage has been stuck at $7.25 since 2009.

it should have been $15 an hour years ago because now THAT is considered just barely scraping by. THAT is why people say $14/$15 isn't enough-because it ISN'T. generally/statistically speaking a single person on a full time income of $7.25 an hour would not be able to afford to rent an apartment or home anywhere (excluding truly horrible living accommodations and pure luck) in the united states. for $15 an hour you can scrape by at a living wage but good luck trying to save or have anything for an emergency-especially if you still have student loans or medical debt. you can do it but you'll be living carefully.

and if youre poo-poo'ing that WE are complaining.... baby you're getting underpaid too. call your government officials. direct your please :| at your government and ask why they havent raised your minimum wage.

tax brackets. slovakia has one at 19%, a government tax. we have seven. you listed our lowest tax bracket but ours go 10%, 12%, 22%, 24%, 32%, 35%, and 37% depending on your income. you have no local taxes. we have to pay state and local taxes on top of federal. so many low-income americans are paying just as much if not more than 19% in yearly tax. i wont even get started on individual state sales taxes because that's a whole other mess.

your higher tax makes sense and most likely actually pays for your country's infrastructure. i would gladly pay 20% personal tax if that meant that our interstate bridges didn't fall apart because they were neglected for twenty years.

idk man, im one of the luckier people here and i still look at countries in europe and seethe in rage bc our idiot government is too set on ballooning our military and police forces instead of actually helping us lol

if someone with actual math would like to clarify this for anon please KINDLY do (in a reblog-please dont start sending stuff to my ask bc then the information would not be connected) and i dont want to see ugly name calling on my post bc of misinformation-bc i dont have the energy.

#ask me stuff! #tldr dont whine at us for complaining go whine at your own gvt lol #also generale note to not be a dick to me please if this information is wrong #i dont know everything and the us tax system is a wreck #also like #public transportation #ours is terrible consistently #you need a car to get most places here #dont get me started on health care and insurance #i just need yall to realize how utterly expensive it is to live here #especially NOW because our cost of living is just shooting up #and theres no rent relief #our govt left millions of americans high and dry last year #i dread to even look up how many people were made homeless bc of the pandemic #like #yes we're america #but her people are starving and dying and the veneer is falling away

[kkusuka]

congrats on 3k!! i hope im not too late but here are my hcs for osamu (she/her if you dont mind)

-osamu doesn’t realize whenever some girls tries to flirt with him at onigiri miya, he’s just friendly

-whenever you get bitter about it (either on purpose or not) he’d find it cute and tease you about it bc its a miya thing to be annoying

-and when you get riled up enough he’d have to show you how you’re his only one and how no one else can get him off like you do

Broken Chopsticks 

Husband!Osamu x Wife!Reader 

Synopsis: osamu likes watching you stake your claim just a bit to much

words: 1.1k 

Cw: smut (cunilingus), jealousy, very tiny angst if you squint, some bad language 

a/n: thank you so much!! i love me a good Osamu moment too 

“Well, I happen to think you’re the better twin Mr. Osamu!” “You just seem to get more handsome every day, Miya-san!” “It’s just too bad you’re married.”

Snap. Suddenly all eyes were on you, namely the broken chopstick in your hand. Shooting your husband, who resides at the counter as normal, with a tight smile you make your way to the kitchen pondering just where these women get their audacity.

  ‘Oh Miya-san, you’re so good with your hands!’, yeah he was, it’s just too bad he’s married. It enraged you, they not only flirted with a clearly taken man but right in front of you? It’s downright shameless. What’s worse is that ‘Samu either didn't realize it was happening, years of high school pining over him and his twin would do that. Or he just doesn't care. And you can only hope it’s not the latter.

You can't even remember a time when women wouldn't flirt with him, even when he was still only your boyfriend. Horrid memories of waitresses slipping him their number as they blatantly ignore your plea for another cup of water. Or women asking for selfies with the famous owner of Onigiri Miya and brother of the “best” setter in Japan, Atsumu, another pain in your side.

But- through all the years- the worst of all are the times when you’re working the counter. You could deal with them questioning who you were and how long you had been working there (really asking about just who you were), it the biggest ego boost when you reveal that not only did you help build the business, but you fuck the owner almost daily- and he loves it. (of course, you don't say that but you explain your marriage and how happy you are to help Osamu with his dream)

You are happy to deal with them, whether or not they buy something is irrelevant, and if you see them again they order and silently leave. It's the, and excuse your language, homewrecking whores that you can’t stand. The ones that look you in the eye and ask where the ‘hunk’ that’s usually there is. You try to explain that you’re working the counter- they roll their eyes and get a piece of onigiri. 

The same women you glare at through the small window above the stove where you make dinner for you and… the guy who’s letting some wench squeeze his-your-biceps.

  It's only when they leave before Osamu closes for the night, do you walk out of the back, hands full of rice and Thai-style chicken for you and… that man. Being your husband of five years, as soon as you walked out he knew you were upset. Even when you placed his food down and started some random small talk that he currently had no care for. He could almost smile, the act bringing him back to high school when you would act like all the girls that came up to him meant nothing. No matter how high you may have your chin, he knew that the women did in fact matter to you- it was cute. He almost felt bad but feeling your stare burning his back while some rando tries to flirt with him was all too adorable. Your nose scrunches and your cheeks puffy out, lips falling into a cute little pout, sometimes you cross your arms and wait for him to be finished only to wrap yourself around him, still in plain view of anyone trying to ogle him. It’s similar to the face you make now, only you’re trying to act like you aren't making the face. “What’s the matter, Baby? Yer makin that pouty face.” Geez, he always knew didn’t he. “If you’re asking, you already know the answer.” You knew he did, by the way he put his chopsticks down, rose from his chair, taking your hands in his as some random song playing on your radio- some Ed Sheeran song from an American station. “You’re so cute when yer jealous. Makes me feel special.” “M’not jealous, ‘Sumu.” That gave him a good laugh, firstly the tens of chopsticks you split today are still peeking out of the trash, and don't think he didn't notice the intellectual brushes against him whole people were ordering. Simple daily activities laced with possessiveness. “Oh I’m sure ya aren’t,” your feet started to sway, moving through the rows of tables and chairs, “I do have to say, whatever this is, I like it. You should stake your claim more often.” As you move, his mouth attaches itself to your neck. His hands pressing you down to sit on the same counter you’d been so angry with. One hand moving to settle on your thigh and the other playing with the hem of your shirt, pulling the fabric over your head., at the same time tugging your shorts down in one go. “We didn’t finish dinner.” He deliberately ignored the comment, instead, kneeling between your legs, pulling you to sit on the very edge of the marble. Your thighs resting on his buff shoulders, face pressed to your panties. “I’m about to eat mine.” With that he pressed his tongue flat against your covered folds, sucking your juices through the red lace. His tongue sought out your clit, swirling over it as your hands laced through his dark locks. “‘Sumu, I-” “You what? Gotta say something, I’m hungry.” He waited for no response as he pushed your panties to the side, taking a moment to commit your creamy pussy to memory. “Yer always so wet, I think ya get off on other girls bein’ near me.” His tongue ran between your lips, gathering the slick on them- the sleeping noise enough to make you cum that second. He moved the hand on your waist to your mound, his thumb attaching to your clit. Letting out an almost pornographic moan his eyes connect to yours, lips curling into a smirk as his tongue and fingers move faster on your cunt. “Feeling good?” “Yes-yes! I just, please! Really wanna cum!” “Well, if you wanna so badly, I guess I'll help ya out.” His finger moves faster around your bud, using his forearm to keep your hips in place. He delved in your dripping hole, thrusting his tongue in and out of your cavern. He can feel you getting close to your thighs encasing his head, a favorite for him. Replacing his tongue with two fingers he focuses on sucking your clit, the action that brings your orgasm crashing over you with a screech of his name. “So pretty, but ‘m not full yet.”

tags: @diamond-3 @rinsangel @heyheyitsne @angelalje @monisi @crystal-lilac @sadpotato10

#osamu x reader #osamu smut #osamu miya x reader smut #osamu miya x reader #osamu x reader smut #osamu angst #haikyuu angst #haikyuu smut #haikyuu x reader smut #haikyuu x reader #osamu miya x reader angst #osamu miya #osamu #hq osamu #hq smut #hq x reader

[batarangsoundsdumb]

yet another ask dump yeehaw!

do you ever think that jay's mother was one of those bitch who believes in horoscope and tarots and things like that and so he believes in these things too, or it is just me projecting?

sheila haywood took one look at jason's birthchart said 'nah this won't do' and left.

Wait, but what happens when the justice league does find out that Bruce and John fucked? Lmao it sounds like it would be hilarious, really, I don’t want a justice league that doesn’t make fun of Bruce for like his entire life.

barry runs out of the meeting immediately and comes back with an entire sti testing kit. diana fully seriously wants bruce to get tested while bruce is sitting there like 'come on guys, you're being ridiculous, i already checked twice'

john is standing in the corner clearly offended while bruce is just like 'don't even say anything, constantine, you fucked a shark'

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

on the one hand, good for him, on the other hand, bro, how do you still have a secret identity when your superhero name is just your last name,,,,

Your fic on ao3 was GOLD PLEASE CONTINUE I loved Dinah's cameo btw ( @purple-vixen

thanks so much! i already continued but this ask is like 10 years old because i'm a notorious procrastinator (also yes! i love dinah so much aahhhhhhhhhhhh)

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

bruce internally: holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit bruce externally: get out of my city, alien

AHHH ur multimedia fic is the only thing that brings me happiness anymore continue it forever pls

uhh thanks, but can't continue it forever because my attention span is that of a toddler on crack on a good day and i can't function without at least 10 things going on at the same time and music in the background

Oi, so I'm getting into dc and watching batman the animated series, and they use fruitcake a lot. Which I thought was very funny and wanted to share w you - Denilla

wait like fruitcake (food) or fruitcake (derogatory) ?

young justice 🤝 teen titans slut shaming batman

tim drake and dick grayson to their respective teams 'you guys stop it, that's my dad'

Happyhoganon: If an eighty year old Batman had fought crime in Gotham City for decades and the only threats to him and the city lately are a wheel chair bounded Penguin, your usual purse snatchers and a few con artists popping up every now and then, how well could the Dark Knight do in maintaining the peace in Gotham despite him being just somewhat fit to do that as an elderly man (which says A LOT given how old he is)

uhh he'll probably do what my grandpa does and that is ruthlessly prank them until they die of shame.

in the death in the family interactive movie there's an ending where Jason is tasked with raising Damian and he decides he's gonna raise Damian to take down the waynes and al ghuls which uh maybe isn't great BUT the idea of Jason raising Damian... PRICELESS. CHAOTIC. I just need more people to know about this :)

yes i saw that wow holy shit but jason would accidentally drop damian on his head one (1) hour in and jason just yeets him into the lazarus pit.

Headcanon: The Penguin has a really hard time fighting any of the Robins because of his avian obsession means there's always a small part of his mind that's like "Birb. Child. Protect" ( @subspacecadet )

as soon as dick becomes nightwing the penguin is like 'you know what, fuck this dude' and shoots at him.

Y'all talking about King Shark dating Constantine, let's not forget about John literally hooking up with Satan

listen there's a clear difference between monsterfucker and satanfucker in that king shark is literally a shark and satan still looks like a normal dude

Does everyone in Gotham think Batman is a teen dad?

everyone in gotham thinks batman has been around since gotham was founded, but they do think that bruce wayne is actually a teen father and dick grayson's biological dad.

why. why would you do that fancast when you know it will only hurt people

what? i loved my fancast it was really well done. i did it with good representation in mind and i really managed that with alfred pennyworth being ✨italian✨

Seeing james charles a jason gave me psychic damage how dare you i need to wash my eyes

well that's a you problem isn't it?

do you think dick grayson thirst tweets about nightwing just to annoy his family/cause problems on purpose in general?

he thinks nightwing is hot, next question.

holy jiminy cricket batman, its as cold as the good lords ass crack in here!!

i- what? this is why i don't fuck with english expressions it's way too goddamn weird

Brooooooo, your teen dad!Bruce au is soooo good. I've got brainrot.

Honestly if you ever write anymore, I'd read that shit twice. Sign me the fuck up. Good stuff, Good Stuff.

uh yeah i'm thinking about writing a fic, but i have exams coming up and i don't wanna fail because that would suck. but after i'll certainly be writing more tho

your teen dad AU is so great! bruce acting like a big brother for all of like a week before he's telling everyone about his son. what if in the AU dick meets the JL because they need to rescue him? maybe he's in trouble/kidnapped at a gala and bruce starts calling for JL. clark finds him and has to fly with dick to bring him home - that's how dick and clark meet and superman becomes dick's fave hero. he goes around the manor thinking he can fly with a red blanket draped around him like a cape.

actually- if you want a young dad! bruce fic with like that kinda stuff(just with damian) go check uhh- in for a penny by cdelphiki. it's really good and bruce is like 24/25-ish. (and dick's there!!!)

This account has solely convinced me that Tim is a trash goblin ( @hamilcat-and-magic-turtle )

because he is. that boy has slept in dumpsters on multiple occasions even if he is the son of a billionaire.

Okay but when you said victory dance I did think of the whole justice league defeating the big bad and then they all start flossing

well that's exactly what hal jordan does and that's why batman uses a gun now. no but the victory dance in my opinion is like the 'we're all in this together' dance from high school musical.

The horrors in Invincible s1 was nothing compared to the comics, I cant wait for s2

oh well okay, i mean i personally react to horror and violence by laughing awkwardly so i can't wait to be called a monster for accidentally laughing at a mass murder.

I'm currently watching Batman: The Brave and The Bold and- Bruce is just talking about Oliver like he's an old love (@nightwings-kid)

okay im going to watch that lmao that's totally and completely in character for him tho.

The invincible comic is like super gratuitous with its violence so much so I'm shocked the show was able to adapt it in a faithful way! Anyway had the show been live action it absolutely wouldn't have the same impact as it does as an animated show and I'm so glad so many people agree with me on that

also because a live action casting would've been like uhh amanda stenberg for amber, the dude- the guy from the supernatural but with a mustache for omni-man, and scarlet johanssen for debbie grayson

Debbie grayson is a milf, yes. You're welcome for the invincible propoganda, now you can questions your life. Bruce def seems like the perfect father next to Omni-man. Like they really took a rip off justice league and I was like well, now I'm attached even tho I was like hah I know who they're supposed to be. And then bam- death gore death gore gore gore sad Mark grayson just had to have daddy issues. Why does every character have daddy issues. I'm sick of the attacks

because daddy issues make a person arguably funnier, that's why i'm not even remotely funny (haha good dad flex). i liked that it was dark contextually, but not in the colouring, bc i hate when it's like 'uh yeah graphic murder and now a shot so dark you have to sit in a dark room and squint at the screen to faintly see the characters. (like dcau ugh)

About the Wayne insurance, for a moment I thought you would put the video with moans over the waves.

i mean- i could've done that, but rick rolling seemed more family friendly.

Its the first time in forever that im surpise rickrolled, i usually expect it. Congratulations (i really should know better this is tumblr)

i get rickrolled so often but i actually like the song so i dont really give a fuck

Actually, my information about Damian and John's kids is outdated because it was revealed that the old men telling the kids stories about the Supersons were actually Jon and Damian the whole time. I was blinded by my thirst for Grandpa!Bruce Wayne but I was wrong... I liked my version better, tbh (@artemisa97)

fair enough. but i'd honestly like to see damian and jon getting together, just because it's a really fun dynamic and their friendship was really cute when they were kids. (also idk maybe it would be nice to have one (1) main batfam/superfam character that's not cishet)

How am i JUST finding your blog skdskfkd you're so fucking funny and ur takes are hot

i thought u were calling me hot :( but youre not :( crime detected (but lmao thanks)

So I have depression and I swear that your memes are one of the few things that have made me laugh so thank you 💛🥺 (@katekanebadass)

aw you're welcome, and i hope you're doing okay!

The metropolis memes are so funny, I love them 💀😌

i think metropolis is also so fucking funny it deserves more attention imagine having your entire police force being upstaged by an alien from kansas and his kids

as an american i feel your complete lack of knowledge of us geography is just so sexy (platonic) ❤️

thanks so much (i also don't know any other geography, i'm not kidding, like you can tell me you're from hungary and it will just blank, there will be nothing that comes to mind)

In the DC universe they don't say "Can't have shit in Detroit" they say "Can't have shit in Gotham"

this just reminds me of that guy whose porch got stolen like the steps to his door, and i'm thinking of people living in gotham and waking up without a front door and going "can't have shit in gotham"

honestly all i know about chicago is the bean, so. what would gotham's famous sculpture be?

gigantic gargoyle statue in front of one of the police precincts because a villain thought it was a smart way to keep the police inside, but it's too heavy to move.

why tf do people go on about how batman "works alone" or how he's the "lone wolf" when he like 38290202 members in his family

bc people think it's cool that a grown man in his 30s has no friends or family instead of calling it what it is (sad)

Bruce is gotham's sugar daddy

why would say something so controversial yet so brave.

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

dick: gerard way are you in position, gerard way are you in position

tim: for the last fucking time, my codename is 'totally not count olaf' this week, abbafan 3000

dick: shut up my codename isn't 'abbafan 3000'

dick: it's 'abbafan number 1' and you know it

I have a feeling Tim drake is ur favourite batfamily member but okay u don't have favs if u say so ok

i mean he is, i won't deny it. but i love each and every one of the batfam just the same, i just have a weak spot for short dumbass nerds, because i'm a short dumbass nerd.

Omg i fuckin love boy meets world too fam shsjkfk

bro boy meets world was the shit!!! it was just fire and awesome and so fucking great like bro. it was so good im not even going to be accepting criticism

you know I find the whole "joker completes batman" thing a bit disgusting considering the horrendous stuff the batfamily went through because of the joker and let's not get started on the "joker has a point" thing like yeah he's this cool complex villain but he's absolutely batshit crazy

like yes! i get what you mean the joker just fucking sucks man he doesn't do shit for batman's character or the batfam he's literally just annoying as fuck. like the joker has a point' shit is so stupid. i will accept 'magneto was right' because he fucking was and i think he didn't do anything wrong, but joker? he's just like that. he's not even cool and complex he's just a weirdo with a bleach kink at this point.

ALSO YOUR RACISM POST- SO TRUE BESTIE

thanks bestie, i'm glad you agree.

in today's essay of why I think cass should become batman- I was thinking Tim would probably be the most efficient batman in many ways but I also think he wouldn't want to be batman tbh none of the batfamily members would want to be batman because they're trying to outgrow him but cass is the one who wants to represent the symbol that is batman

absofuckinglutely i will say it again and again that cass represents the batsymbol more than anyone in the batfam, in batgirl (2000) she literally didn't care about anything else than bruce's oath to not kill, she thought the batsymbol was more important than anything in gotham. she's just an excellent character because her motivation to not kill is not 'i'm scared i can't come back from it' or 'well my dad says no murder so i'll go along with it' but that she's killed somebody as a young child and she never wants to kill a human ever again and that's so fucking beautiful for a new batman like yes.

need more cass, duke and tim inclusion in gothamite memes

yes yes, a tall order of cass, duke and tim coming up in 1-14 business days

oldest to youngest batfam members cus I'm confused as shit

okay order of being taken in: dick, jason, tim, cass, damian, duke order of age: alfred, bruce, dick, cass, jason, tim, duke, damian (though cass and jason are around the same age general consensus is that cass is a little older)

I'm so confused Steph is a redhead?? like how was it that hard to get this right? the source material is literally right there and free

cw is jared, 19

do you receive anon hate? if so, how do you deal with it

uh no, i'm not remotely popular enough to get anon hate and i also don't say a lot of things that would attract anon hate, but i do send anon hate to @the-real-peter-parker because he forgot about the specialists from winx club

Wait how many languages do you speak??

uhh- 5 if you include latin, but that's a dead language and i'm really bad at it. but english, my native language, german, and french also, tho german and french not fluently.

You can mix aguaepanela with aguardiente 😈 and is tasty

okay but now i'm curious if the liquor deserves the 😈 emoji or if that's a you problem. but i googled it and it looks like something you'd take one sip of and then not remember the rest of your evening.

#i love all of you guys so much thanks for all these asks #some of these are literally from march but fuck it #the day tumblr puts dates next to anon messages is the day i close my inbox crawl into a hole and die #it's such a basic task to answer asks but i don't want to bother anyone with asks clogging up their timeline #and if i don't have a funny or good answer i'm like 'uhh okay won't answer it now then' #so this is for you #also i deleted a few asks because it gives me mental pain to see my inbox go over 50 and it's almost at 100 #i was complaining about having too many asks to the-real-peter-parker like months ago and then i had 45 asks in my inbox #now it's amassed to going over 100 twice #but no i love all of you and you're great and you're all fantastic and i lvoe you #muchos kiss kiss #kiss kiss for my kiddies lvoe you #invincible spoilers #dc #dcu #dc comics #ask #anon #bataranswers #i really wanna try aguapanela now i'm gonna see if i can find panela somewhere and review it for you babes #uh yeah that's it #muchos gracias for all your questions babes

[wickedpact]

You can't just drop that "I read Forces Multiplied" bomb on us and not give a ten page written reaction.

[cracks knuckles] if u insist

nicky cant drive hc: destroyed. rip. also i loved how andy and nile stole those sports cars and were being badass and driving off the bridge & meanwhile joe and nicky were just absolutely vibing in the van

'heres the thing about power: people who have it think they deserve it' [shot of police car] i see u greg

5 whole panels being dedicated to booker not being able to unlock his door. booker not even seeing noriko sitting RIGHT THERE in the window at first. incredible

noriko being 24/7 horny was surprising. like wow all of the stuff i saw she did out of context was 100% equally horny in context as it was out of context. love that for her

i didnt think the 'andy + slavery' thing was handled as badly as everyone made it out to be when telling me about it. tho from the way it was talked about i had kind of figured the conflict between andy and nile re: slavery would be really racially charged (esp considering nile is a black american and would obvs have Thoughts on the subject in that regard) but like,, done in a cringey 'a-white-guy-obviously-wrote-it' kind of way? but it wasnt that. i mean. it makes sense that andy would be implicit in slavery through the years

i mean, like she says, is that not what people just did to each other in the aftermath of battles for thousands of years? and i really like how its pointed out that it was what she was raised with (in the beginning when you see her put shackles on that guy after the battle) but she also accepts responsibility for it and acknowledges that it was wrong and not just 'what people did'.

i like how from her expressions you can kind of tell baby andy knew it was off but she sets those feelings aside bc she felt angry. it explains how she felt but didnt make her out to be blameless in it. plus i mean. i dont know, the fact that andy was involved in a lot of morally shady stuff for 7000 years is not that wild for me. if you live that long youre just Going to be involved in some shit, and she didnt even have other immortals with her as positive community influences, she literally just did whatever the fuck she wanted for thousands of years

'i was worshipped as a god once' i mean, yeah no shit she wouldve been involved in some seriously fucked up stuff, gods were fucking scary back in the day

tldr it could use some polish but it wasnt that bad

tho everything people said about moose being boring was unfortunately a little true. sorry king i tried to be interested in you

joe and nicky writing verbal fanfiction about nile and moose was iconic. 'you seeing that?' 'i am definitely seeing that'

it was also extremely funny bc that was like 60% of their contribution to the whole comic, besides kidnapping copley. they came, they wrote some fanfic, they left. kings. at least in tog1 they had an excuse to be useless bc they got kidnapped

joe just found out his old friend who he thought was dead is alive (and also probably wants to murder them) and instead of investigating with andy he stopped to help nile up. champ.

nicky shooting noriko through andy was cool. rip to the concept since it wont happen in tog2

wanna see mr ejiofor deliver this line

on that note imo copley was. weirdly enough, more interesting in fm than in tog1. to me at least. the fact that andy let him live and he was so haunted by what had happened that he came back and sought them out despite knowing they would likely kill him for it bc he wanted to not only make up for what hed done but also to tell them what theyd done for the world was admittedly more interesting than andy just kind of drafting him to the cause and him going 'okie'

i like how nicky was drawn in this one. in opening fire he looks like a blob man but in fm he looks more like a very nice grampa with a very good dye job

'theres no pain like a broken heart' andy 🥺

noriko implying andy's never drowned. .. .idk about that one, she musta drowned sometime

joe and nicky came, they waxed poetic about nile's love life, they waxed poetic about grog, and then they left.

sports bras being a reason humanity is good. i mean..... okay, yeah.

i mean. wild but you cant exactly tell her shes wrong

i liked how noriko telling andy that their purpose is to make people suffer coincides with joe and nicky finding out that they actually did good all those years

joenicky in opening fire: jail for booker jail for booker for 100 years

joenicky when copley tells them he knows where booker is: WE'LL KILL YOU WHERE IS HE

joenicky when copley comes back: if your vibes come off as even remotely rancid we Will destroy you

joenicky 2 minutes later when copley helped them find booker: he made up some ground :)))) <3 lov you j cops

theyre forgiving af

moose: how old are you?? a hundred??? a thousand???

nile [vine voice]: I M 2 7 ?

alright andy you got me there

joe texts like my aunt

i dont know why noriko drowning andy in that car tickled me. Bad And Naughty Andromaches Get Put In The Pear Wiggler To Atone For Their Crimes.

the drowning sequence was cool

copley trying to talk to andy while she was like o_o at him was great

ive hit the picture limit but id seen that panel where nicky goes 'forgive me' as he kills a guy out of context and it was HILARIOUSLY anticlimactic for me to discover that there was literally no context to it. nicky just apologizes to random people he kills. i thought that guy was someone he knew or something. nope its just Some Guy that nicky didnt know from adam

nile's complaint that andy was especially brutal to the guys on the boat... i mean. . , how exactly does one kill a man with an axe and not be brutal about it?

it was funny how noriko kissed andy and the only people who seemed surprised by that were nile and also andy

nicky and joe's complete non-reaction to finding out noriko is alive And Evil Now is endlesly funny. they just left her on that boat and neither cared. i get book and nile not caring but joe and nicky knew her, and they just have 0 input on the subject of what to do with her

pinstripe suit guy!

joe and nicky and booker packing up and leaving with nile

andy blowing up at nile was A Moment tho

i dont know, i get why people didnt like the ending but its. .. . it makes more sense in the comicverse. bc the squad doesnt really. .. interact outside of jobs? i mean, think of the moon landing story in ttt. that was booker and joe and nicky doing a job and andy only showed up a for a couple minutes after it was done. or the brunch in the first issue of opening fire. the squad arent as tight in the comic, and andy often seems to do her own thing outside of work, so andy saying 'i dont want to do work anymore' and the squad being like 'alright bye then' makes more sense in this universe than the movie one

also i feel like greg was Trying to set up a thing where nile becomes the Leader of The Squad after andy dies but like. its not very well done since. . . i mean, nile hasnt spoken to booker since opening fire, (and she only knew him A Day). and shes known joe and nicky all that time, but there isnt really anything that indicates that they have any relationship at all, much less one that's grown. in all the comicverse the only time nile and nicky speak is in FM, and in that scene nicky tells nile about noriko. nile goes from someone who needs to be set aside to have background knowledge explained to her to being the Leader of the group with nothing in between. it kind of... comes out of nowhere.

on the other hand tho... i felt really bad for andy thru the whole thing. well, i always felt bad for andy, but in this one she seemed so miserable, especially since it really felt like none of the others actually.... cared about her. when noriko came back no one asked andy how she was doing (big question ik, but it wouldve showed they cared at least), nobody ever expressed any concern for her, no one even really seemed to want to be around her. in opening fire everyone was more distant than in the movie of course, but there were little moments where she would joke with joe, or nicky would try and comfort her, or stuff like that, but in FM it really felt like they just didnt really care about her. & in opening fire it felt a lot like andy's relationship with nile breathed some new life into her, but in FM it felt like all they did was argue. i get theyre not *as* close in the comics but it really felt like the only person who cared about andy at all was noriko (which was probably also how andy felt) but it just seemed to come out of nowhere. honestly i was reading and i was honestly agreeing with andy that she might just be better off if she did just die. opening fire, on the other hand, never make me feel that way

tho everyone made it sound like when the squad split up it was one of those cursed 'the found family leaves each other at the end of the journey' tropes. but guys i mean,,, this is the second installment out of three. that isnt the End. theyll come back in the third one and Dramatically Reunite to fight some baddies (probably those 'others' noriko mentioned). im guessing yitzhak fits into that too somehow.

anyways it wasnt That Bad but it made me kind of sad and the only Sweet Found Family vibes in it were when they saved booker. also they shouldve beefed up that nilemoose romance, it underwhelmed me. 6.5/10

i also ABSOLUTELY understand all of greg's comments about how you couldnt make FM directly into a movie, he always said that it had no plot and. i get it now. it really didnt have a plot sdfghjkl

#nicoloalkaysani #it took me So Long to type this up #asdfghjk

[isolemnlyswear]

hello! can i request a modern marauder (you pick) x popstar!fem!reader (while they're still in hogwarts) to the song breathin by ariana grande as if it were the reader's song? <3 <3

breathin

a/n : this is the most specified request i've ever gotten, so it's kinda shitty ! i really have never wrote anything like this - at all - and i didn’t know if the reader was meant to be a muggle or not ????????? so i made them not one. bc you’re anon i cant ask you questions abt your request, so next time please specify!

continued a/n : wow, this is interesting. i dont like it, but !!! hope u enjoy????

warnings : swearing, bad writing

taglist : @oldschoolkiddo @amourtentiaa @anchoeritic @faeinorbit @tomriddleswifey @inks-and-jinx @jxsperhxle @punkrific @the-gazette-of-tea @krasivayadarling @orifortheweeknd @fallin-4-ya @incxndio @daisyyy2516 @hoe4cedricdiggory @vsawyer1989

Remus sighed, glaring at the raven-haired boy beside him.

“What, s’gonna be fun!” Sirius grins, and the lycanthrope who’s refuting him simply laughs.

“Fun? Your idea of fun is a packed concert - full of muggles, nonetheless - for this...popstar woman?” Remus says incredulously, and Sirius raises an eyebrow.

“Oh, ho, ho, this is not any popstar, Moony. Plus, what else are we gonna do over the summer? Sulk around at your parents’ house?” Sirius grins again, and Remus lets out a sigh.

“The latter I can agree with. But who is this girl, anyway?” Remus inquires, and Sirius reaches into his back pocket to acquire his phone. Although Hogwarts doesn't allow modern technology, both Sirius and Remus have their own each for the summers. With how phone-centered the modern world is, they couldn't not.

He swipes through to find a picture of you - one obtained from your Instagram, which has over four million followers - and holds it up to Remus.

“Merlin,” he breathes, eyes scanning the image.

You're wearing a brown leather dress, the shoulders poking up just barely. Your hair is framing your face, legs tucked under you in a half-crouch, and you're looking into the camera with lips perfectly parted. It was one you took for the shoot of your newest album, and a particular favorite of yours.

“Gorgeous, right? She’s really talented, as well.” Sirius grins, looking at his best friend, who is unresponsive, with eyes glued on the screen. “Moony?” he waves a hand over the brunette’s face, who snaps out of his trance.

“Hmm? Oh, yeah. Sure.” Remus says, blinking a few too many times.

“So, you up for it now?”

“Alright,” Remus replies, nodding at Sirius, who pumps his fists into the air with a grin.

“She's American, but doing a show in London in a few weeks,” Sirius informs, smiling.

“American, huh? How old is she?” Remus asks, settling back into the couch they're perched on.

“That's the best part. She's our age - just turned eighteen.” Sirius grins again, putting his phone away.

“Oh yeah? You say that like she'd notice us. Never gonna happen, Pads.” Remus smiles, shaking his head.

“Expect the unexpected, mon amie.”

---

You're fiddling anxiously with your fingers, hands out of use as someone else is doing your makeup, rather than yourself.

“Almost done, Miss L/N,” Madelyn, your makeup artist, says, brushing a soft highlighter over your cheekbones.

“Mads, I told you that you can call me Y/N. You only do my makeup every day,” you say, closing your eyes as the woman pats highlighter into your inner corner.

“And...” she mists your face with setting spray, “...Done!”

---

About four hours later, your back is facing the crowd that's piled into the venue, stage lights shut off as only the sounds of quiet murmurs and shuffling feet hit your ears.

And then, the lights come on with a thumping click, and you begin the routine that you've practiced time and time again.

The music to your first song, the least vocally challenging of the set, begins, and you turn around with a sway of your hips.

Holding the mic to your mouth, you begin a one-step, two-step rhythm, one that's second nature to you; your eyes survey the crowd, left hand reaching to flip your hair.

The tune changes, and the beat is faster, now, as the lights begin to flash and your voice, in a habitual fashion, changes to match. You stride out rhythmically to the center of the stage.

You crouch in a fluid movement, thankful for the coverage your outfit gives you. It's a black sparkling jumpsuit, bottoms being a high-waisted, glimmering fabric with two side flaps, connected at your stomach to a matching corset-like top.

After a few minutes of usual song/dance routines, followed by cheers from the crowd, you decide it's time for a crowd interaction. It's difficult, resisting the urge to pull out your wand and cast a silencing charm to get the group's attention, but you opt for speech, instead.

"Alright, alright, everybody," you say into the mic with a laugh, eyes scanning the crowd for someone to converse with.

There's one man - his ebony hair is swishing as he speaks - who's bouncing up and down like an eager dog, and you laugh.

"We all excited to be here? In London!" you say, garnering numerous cheers and screams from the group.

"I can tell you are." You walk over to the raven-haired boy, who's in front row, and crouch down. He'd previously cheered extremely loud, confirming his excitement.

The boy makes a loud whoop'ing noise, getting a laugh from his friend.

His friend.

You continue to speak, walking over to someone else, but now your eyes are glued on him.

He looks about your age, with beautifully disheveled sandy brown hair and chocolate eyes. He has numerous scars littering his face, some new and red, some older and whitening.

You can't help but wonder what the scars are from, and you feel a strange attachment to the boy, though you've never spoken before.

And after a while, it's time for your final song. About a thirds of the way through, at your favorite part, you meander back over to the boys.

You lean over, disguising your position as a simple concert move, but you're really staring into the brunette's eyes.

"You remind me of a time when things weren't so complicated." The words fall from your mouth effortlessly, and you're able to search the boy's eyes as you sing. There's a spark in them, a glimmer of light that pulls you in.

"All I need is to see your face." You sing, still singing almost directly to the brunette.

You need to see more of him, you suddenly think. And you continue to sing the song, but all that swims around in your brain is a plan. A plan to erase the mystery behind the boy.

The show comes to a close, but before everyone has left, you pull your manager aside.

"Hey, Martin, this- this is an odd request, but could you ask these two boys to come backstage? That sounds, um, interesting, but would y'mind-"

"What do they look like?" Martin interrupts you, and you sigh in relief.

"One has longer black hair, and the other... sorta sandy brown hair, and some scars on his face. Can you find them from that?"

"I'll try."

You nod and thank him, running backstage to your small lounge and bathroom to await your mysterious visitors, changing quickly into clothes that are more comfortable; a simple silk dress, in a y/f/c hue, and a sweater to go over it.

You fiddle with your wand in your hands, mentally berating yourself.

It was quite a reckless decision, really. It's not like you had a valid reason for inviting these people to such a VIP space such as this. Just because you feel some weird connection to one of them didn't mean you could disregard everything. These boys are probably muggles, and you are not. Merlin, you're getting shipped off to Scotland next year after being home-schooled by your magical parents for eighteen years - just in time for your last year of school -going to a boarding school called Hogwarts (which would be a PR nightmare, but your parents insisted you needed some 'real-life experience').

But amidst your train of thought, you hear a knock at your door - two taps, three taps, your manager's code that it's okay to open the door - and you shove your wand into your (enlarged via Engorgio charm) pocket.

You stride over to the door, fiddling with the hem of your sweater, and open it to see Martin.

"Here they are, Miss L/N." He steps to the side to reveal the two boys, the darker-haired male standing in front, and you refrain from gasping when he steps forward, allowing you full view of the other boy.

The scars on his face are glimmering in the light, and his eyes are warm, pulling you in with every glance. His hair is perfectly tousled, and he's tall, over six foot two, or so you'd guess.

"Come in," you say, stepping aside to allow them entrance. You nod to Martin, signalling him to leave, and he does so, shutting the door and leaving you with the pair.

"Holy shit," the raven-haired boy says, and you realize he's only slightly shorter, about an inch less.

You laugh slightly, gesturing for them to sit down.

"Why are we back here?" the shorter one says, and you smile. He's made himself comfortable, seemingly the more outgoing, but the other one is still standing awkwardly beside you.

"You can relax, I'm not interrogating you," you say, smiling at the taller boy, who seems to let out a breath. "Why don't you introduce yourselves, and then we can talk, okay?"

"I'm Sirius, Sirius Black." The boy runs a hand through his dark hair, grinning.

"Ah, like the constellation? Brightest star in the sky," you say, and he nods.

"I'm, um, Remus. Remus Lupin," the other boy says tentatively, offering a smile.

"Hi, Remus," you say, nodding. "I don't want to assume you know my name, I'm aware you're not American, but considering you're at this concert-"

"Of course, we know your name, we're British, not daft," Sirius says with a playful scoff, and you laugh. "You're Y/N."

"That I am," you say with a giggle, and Remus grins. Your heart stops for a moment, the world coming to a halt as his eyes meet yours.

Sirius clears his throat, and a blush spreads onto the apples of your cheeks. You gulp, looking down.

"So, you didn't answer my question," Sirius starts, tilting his head, but Remus kicks his shin.

"Pads, chill," he whispers, shaking his head. Sirius shakes his head, looking at you.

"It's fine, really. 'M not that interesting, no need to be uptight," you say, smiling again.

"I'd beg to differ," Remus breathes.

After what feels like no time at all, but is really three hours, you've gotten any and all formalities out of the way. Well, all but one - you're still unsure if they're muggles, and they don't know that you're a witch, either.

That is, until Remus gets up to go to the restroom, and something tumbles out of his pocket.

Your first thought is how did something that long fit in a jean pocket, but then you see what it is.

It's a wand, about ten inches, cypress wood, with a small bulb at the end of it. You gasp, and Remus goes pale, stumbling to pick it up.

"Is that-" you start, but Sirius cuts you off.

"It's nothing," he says quickly, but you shake your head.

"That's a wand," you say slowly, and Remus is wide-eyed, nervously fidgeting.

"It-"

"No, no, no," you say, reaching into the pocket of your sweater and pulling out your own. Sirius and Remus simultaneously gasp as you brandish it in your hands, and you grin.

"You're a witch?" Remus asks, jaw slack.

"You're a wizard?" you return, raising an eyebrow.

"Fuck yeah we are!" Sirius says, and you grin.

"What school?" Remus inquires, and you purse your lips.

"I was home-schooled, but this year - for my last one - I'm going to this school called Hogwarts? D'you know it?" you explain, garnering another gasp from the pair.

"That's where we go," Remus says, and your eyes light up.

"Really?!" you ask excitedly.

"Yeah! I guess you'll have some friends when you get there, at least," Remus assures, grinning.

"I bet Remus wishes you had a boyfriend to greet you," Sirius says, disguised with some coughs, and you blush. Remus kicks his friend in the shin again, and turns to you with a sigh.

"Sorry, he doesn't know what he's talking about," he says, and you raise an eyebrow.

"Does he not?" you ask flirtatiously, and it's Remus's turn to blush.

"Uh-"

"We'll just have to see, won't we?" you say with a mischievous grin, one returned by the sandy-haired boy in front of you.

#remus lupin x reader #wolfstar #sirius black x reader #remus lupin fanfiction #remus lupin #remus lupin fluff #marauders

[mythiccheroacademia]

Hi!! I don’t know if you’re doing requests rn but can you do a scenario with Kirishima, midoriya, Bakugou and todoroki learning dance moves with their s/o?? (The woah, milly rock, driving the boat, etc.)

 GIRRLLLLLLL 

my first ask!!!! ayyeeeeee, what it do babyyyyy

k, i’m done but thank you sm for asking! and for future reference, i’m open for scenarios/imagines/anything lmao

i hope you like it! 

Characters: Kirishima, Midoryia, Bakugo, and Todorkoki

Warnings: a serious case of fucking it up (ass throwing as well??)

PG-13 

y’all, i couldn’t help myself hehe

A/N: the gag is, i was literally just turning up to my good sis Megan Thee Stallion and Rico Nasty so this should be fun

Kirishima Eijrou:

the best hype man and dont @ me on it

It was after hours and, outside of U.A., the night was quite peaceful, for the most part. Most were tucked in their bed, fast asleep, but some of the young future heroes of Japan were wide awake. That included you and Kirishima. 

You spent the night showing him some of your favorite Western music videos. He recognized some of the long-time globally famous ones like Beyoncé, Nicki Minaj, and Rihanna (who you both had a crush on). You had tried showing him the moves to Single Ladies and Super Bass, but he couldn’t quite get. 

“C’monnn, just jut your hip out more,” he laughed.

Kirishima made a face before dramatically sticking his hind up. You punched his arm to which he broke out in laughter. 

“Ahh, I’m just hopeless,” he shrugged.

You rolled your eyes. “No, no! You got the shoot, but you have to know more. There’s gotta be something.”

“What about him?”

You looked at the video suggestion he motioned towards, and your brows shot up in excitement.

“DaBaby! Of course!”

“DaBaby?”

“I’m about to change your life.”

It only took one watch for Kirishima to pick up on the DaBaby shoulder, BOP dance, and fist pound. He was a natural and went hard on it. 

*and his muscles looked real nice all flexed like that but that’s besides the point~* 

You two spent the late hours running through all his Albums and EPs, dancing and hyping one another up. It was so fun that you two ended up having to take a shower because of how sweaty y’all were. 

The fist to thigh pound was now you two’s celebratory dance each time one of you made an accomplishment.

You both passed a test?

DaBaby.

Won a team competition?

DaBaby.

Made it through a battle alive?

DaBaby.

Midoryia Izuku:

i’m sorry but it’s like cannon this boi cant dance, but bless his heart, he really tries

You should’ve just sat down and ate your food, but, of course, you didn’t care about priorities when it came to tiktok. (just bear with me y’all)

It was an unhealthy obsession you wouldn’t admit to. You spent hours on it. Ochako had gotten you hooked on after she kept sending you tiktok dances to learn with the girls. It was fun though, especially since dancing was something you loved to do. You still kept up with your grades, so there wasn’t much harm in it.

But then, you made a mistake.

You were eating lunch with your boyfriend and watching a tiktok Momo had sent in your groupchat. The two girls in the video were dancing before they hit the woah on the beat drop. 

Izuku heard the music and looked over at what you were watching. 

“What’s that?” he asked.

“Oh, it’s these two girls dancing. They’re really good!”

You showed him the video and it was like he’s found his life’s purpose.

“W-what was that? At the end!?” 

“Uhh, it’s called the woah?”

“Do you know how to do it?”

“Yeah–”

“Teach me!”

So you spent the lunch period teaching him the move. It wasn’t very complicated, but you found that he had no sense of rhythm and flow. It took a couple YouTube tutorials and then some for him to decently grasp the concept. When lunch was over, he kissed and hugged you like you were his savior.

“Thank you for showing me! I must show the others!”

You were so confused.

But you didn’t know you created a monster.

That is ALL this man does now!

You’ll see him in the mornings. “Hey Izuku!”

“Hey y/n!” 

Hits the woah.

He answers a question correctly?

Hits the woah.

He answers a question incorrectly?

Hits the woah.

Beats Bakugo in a competiton.

Hits the woah.

Bakugo did not appreciate that. 

He downloaded tiktok and 80% of the videos are of him and/or someone else hitting the woah.

All Might has asked you if your boyfriend is going through something. You just pinch your nose. 

Bakugo Katsuki:

won’t outwardly admit to knowing how to dance, but when the time comes, he’s ready for anything

also! i’m inlcuding african moves in this one, hope you dont mind

Sometimes, when you two aren’t doing anything in particular, you’ll try and teach him some moves. He’ll usually sneer about not wanting to learn and how dumb it was. You fake cry and he begrudgingly does it (bc when you cry he panics)

There are multiple snapchat videos of you putting on Shatte Wale or EL (Lomi) and you two doing the shaku shaku or azonto. You were surprised when he picked up other moves like dougie, lean back, and jerkin. 

The music was blasting in his room and you two were following the Walk It Out music video, dancing, copying what you could and just having fun with one another. At first, Bakugo was a bit stiff, embarrassed that he was even indulging in something like this, but he saw the happy look on your face and set a tiny bit of his pride aside.

Plus, you were actually kinda good and he wasn’t gonna let you show him up on something he knew he was good at. 

“Ayyee, okay Bakugo! You kinda lit!” you cheered.

The genuine praise made him blush. “I don’t know what you thought this was, but of course I can dance, idiot!” he exclaimed, trying to fight his sudden embarrassment with how into it he was getting. 

You laughed at him and he was about to cuss you out until you gasped.

Suddenly, your favorite song by Saweetie came on and your face fell into all seriousness as you broke out in dance. He sputtered when you sensually moved your body over to him, taking his hand and turning so your body so your back was to him. 

“Well if you’re so good, why don’t you prove it,” you challenged. 

He was confused until you circled your hips and he automatically followed your lead. Bakugo’s prior bashfulness left him and a proud grin spread across his lips, eyes half-lidded with desire. 

“Oh, bet.”

You bent forwards, hands on your knees as you threw it back on him–and he caught it just fine. This was his kind of dancing. He was a beast in clubs. (ofc you’re 18+). 

It wasn’t like it was anything new to him. You two have had many many opportunities to practice. 

When “Red Nose” came on, it was over. 

Well, the dancing was over~

Todoroki Shoto:

hits the meanest milly rock and you cant convince me otherwise

*youre in an American club for this one and you all are most certainly 21+*

You two were overseas for a vacation. Well, it was supposed to be a trip for a business convention, and he was going as the next heir to his father’s company, but who wouldn’t use this as a getaway?

Plus, a chance to show your boyfriend where you come from?

And on Endeavor’s dime? Say less. 

You were going out to a club downtown with your Shoto and your friends and their partners. It would be a nice de-stressor for the long day you and Todoroki had handling business. 

At first, Todoroki was a bit hesitant. You offered to have a dance practice, but he softly declined. He wasn’t one to go out and you didn’t push it.

But then he saw you in that tight outfit, the one that makes your ass pop, and he grabbed the keys before you could. 

The sooner you went, the sooner y’all could get back home for the real party.

Anyway–

At first, you two are just standing and talking, enjoying one another’s company. You’re a bit tipsy when you’re friends drag you onto the dance floor and you let loose. Todoroki’s watching you with a soft smile and then talking to your friends’ partners before they prompt him to take a couple shots. 

He might be one of the fiercest heroes in Japan, but mans can’t hold his liquor.

He sees you dancing and can’t help but miss the way your body feels in his hands. You both make eye contact and he’s suddenly making a b-line for you.

*Big Ole’ Freak by Megan Thee Stallion begins*

Todoroki is working his hardest to catch all the ass you’re throwing, using his hands and the support from the people behind him. He won’t let his good sis Todoroki Tina down. 

He’s pretty damn good at catching.

Y’all are sin on the floor. So much so that your friends are HOLLERING. 

“FUCK IT UP Y/N!!!”

“LET’S GOOOO SHOTO”

“CATCH THAT ASS, BRO!!”

“BITTTCHHH!!!”

*Cue Pour It Up by Rihanna*

The music changes, and suddenly, both of you are facing each other, hittin’ the folks and slowing down the nae nae. Nasty Freestyle by T-Wayne comes on, and you guys are the center of attention.

Let me tell you…it was perfection.

The City Girls came on and Todoroki amps it up—you rapping the lyrics as he dances. (He loves the City Girls as much as he does Meg and hopes a woman scams his dad like that)

But you even lose your shit when Shoto starts to milly rock. He’s got the entire club hyping him up. 

The next day, you both are watching videos from last night. Your brows shot up in surprise at how natural he was. You both were kinda shook.

“I’ve never seen you dance a day in your life. Where did this come from?” you asked, a genuine pitch in your tone.

Shoto was just as clueless as you. 

“I have no idea.”

#bnha #bnha scenarios #mha x reader #mha x black reader #mha x poc!reader #mha bakugo #mha midoriya #mha todoroki #mha kirishima #bnha todoroki #bnha midoriya #bhna bakugou #bnha kirishima #mha scenarios #mha imagines #bnha imagines #THROW THAT ASS #todoroki tina would be proud #bnha x y/n #mha x y/n #bnha x reader

[goldensparrows]

Answer 30 questions then tag some people

 I was tagged by @say-hey-kid love u boo 💕

 Name/nickname: bri/brianna

 Gender: female

 Star sign: aries sun, aries moon, scorpio rising 😎

 Height: 5'2 ;-;

 Time: 8:57 pm ct

 Favorite bands: black keys, santana, chicago, kc and the sunshine band, america!

 Favorite solo artists: UH- i like some of selena gomez's stuff! and lady gaga! and george strait!

 Song stuck in my head: default? malo by suavecito. currently? funkytown. i shit yall not.

 Last movie: twister, i watched it with my best friend and bless her soul i got to word vomit SO much science jargon

 Last show: does critical role count..? otherwise the voice- i havent watched the past few seasons but im REAL excited for this one

 When I made this blog: HAD to have been early 2013 when i was just finishing middle school SHUT UP

 What I post: baseball? pretty things? funny things? topics are nebulous and my audience is M E

 Last thing I googled: lakeline mall sports store- i was tryna remember the fucking NAME so i could get my sister to get me some cards, Did Not Pan Out

 Other blogs: fjldmdlaja @slamrockshake is where i post all my GROSS FUCKING NERDY DUMB SHIT rn its a cesspool of transformers and critical role and the mummy (1999)

 Do I get asks: hardly ever actually! only recent ones have been cutesy chain mail asks and a check in from an old internet friend!

 Why I chose my url: uhhhhhh shoot me bc its been 8 years but i like gold? and birds? and also i had these real cute decorative hair combs with gold birds on em and its a cute aesthetic

 Following: 386

 Followers: 672

 Average hours of sleep: PFFFFFT THAT SHIT FLUCTUATES EVERY OTHER DAY IT COULD BE 5 IT COULD BE 12

 Luck number: multiples of 7, especially 14

Instruments: guitar, violin, and i sing! i did competitive choir for several years!

 What am I wearing rn: a few ear cuffs, several rings, this cute yellow roomie hoodie that says "flower child with a rock and roll heart," hand me down jeans, and cute patterned sneakers! FIRST TIME OUT IN SEVERAL MONTHS A BITCH IS ALLOWED TO LOOK CUTE

 Dream trip: hhhhhhhh italy... my sister went and i wanna visit SO BAD, and then the bestie went to ireland and it look SO PRETTY TOO, i just wanna go traveling ;-;

 Favorite food: popcorn!!!! and potatoes.... AND BRISKET...

 Nationality: Mexican-American!

 Current favorite song: oh geez ngl ive been jiving out to im your boogie man by kc and the sunshine recently, and you make my dreams come true by hall and oates

 Last book I read: the pacific rim novelization!!

 Top 3 fictional universes: OKAY HEAR ME OUT, STARDUST, POKÉMON, and also twister bc i love that shit and the protags literally NEVER GET KILLED EVEN THOUGH THEY VERY MUCH SHOULD BE DEAD,

 Favorite color: yellow ochre, cornflower blue, and rose gold!

tagging: @desos-records @spiritofalltheforests @xxsdelphia @bluberrylimeade yall dont gotta if you dont wanna 💕

#bri words #about bri

[bloopbyoop]

weep woop

ayo. ive read my scheduled email and its time for freewriting shit again. lmao. I want this post to be like a small light from a lit match stick inside a very hollow, icy, and numbing cave. (sounds cartoonish right? I know. Im obsessed with Adventure Time.) I want all people to be genuinely happy.  Spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Upon reaching my 24th anniversary in this world, I finally learned how to truly embrace all my emotions. Some are more overwhelming than the other, but we have to heed in our treacherous yet perplexing minds that everything is fleeting and we are in control. The feeling of extreme sadness fades, but so does joyful states. Everything can change in a matter of minutes or years. You are in control of all your emotions. You are in control of all your life choices. Your actions. Your words. Your perspective. It feels weird to actually write about it. I've wanted to talk about it. I never wanted help from anyone as I firmly believed that I was alone. Sure, I have a family and friends, but it is hard to see that when your head is clouded with negativity. I've even come to the point where I was too overwhelmed, I found being physically hurt less painful. The pain I felt distracted me from what I was thinking. My mind tended to go bonkers. lmao. But bro, I was so good at concealing my bonkers mind. It's easy to fake any emotion that you have. Slap anything sunshine-y or happy to anything and people would believe you. It went on for years. Long story short, thousands of bracelets collected, it became worse. The physical pain could no longer withhold the emotional pain. Couldn't sleep. Couldn't stop thinking. And voila! I found a good amount of self help books (from tumblr) and novels. Novels that brought me to different places. Self-help books that made me understand what I feel and what to do. I've read that taking the easy way out will leave everyone sad. AND IN THE FIRST PLACEEEEEE, I NEVER WANT THATTTTTTT. I want everyone to be happy. I would act foolish and do dumb shit to make everyone happy in a heartbeat. So, that idea made me push a few more years. Later on, the crippling shit came crawling back again to my head, sooooooo I needed new shit to keep me distracted again. Films, series, music, and short clips from YouTube helped me out a lot. Every single time that my mind is going to think like anything that can think of, even to the point that I was just going to think that I might be hungry, I'd watch something. There's just something about silence for me. Because of this new habit of mine, I've learned more about myself. I love different types of things. I like horror. I like thriller. I like comedy. I like romance. I love all types of films, but there is something about the horror genre that interests me. I still can't point out what, but I love watching horror films. With regards to music, I've learned that I love Indie, Punk Rock, Rap, and Pop. We all can't like a specific genre. It's stupid to ask "what genre of music do you like?". It's not actually stupid-stupid, it's just stupid. Ya know? Anyway, passing this phase, I needed to find something again because it's not doing the shit that it was supposed to, I tried investing more time on video games. By investing more, I mean a whole shit lot. I love video games since I was young cuz.... u know.... they keep u... try to guess it! oh yeah. you got that right! distracted! I love the aggressive plays and trashtalks that my friends and I make. The short stories we tell one another. The rants. The lame jokes. The late night we sound drunk but we are not drunk jokes. The roleplays. The lame jokes. The memes. And once again, The lame jokes. Something about lame jokes and the laughs and curses after that always gets me every single time. Oh shoot. Yup Yup. Few years later, I finally noticed the pattern that my sadness is temporary. I got over it one way or the other (or another. depends on how you wanna read it. i dont wanna say another cause i might write about one direction like what im doing now so-). Happiness is temporary as well. But, we are the ones who are actually in control of our emotions. If you wanna feel sad, be sad for a while. You're getting too sad? Try hanging out with your funny friends. Can't do that? Find an alternative. Watch a movie, knit a sweater. Anything your mind could think of as long as it will keep you mentally distracted from being physically and mentally hurt. I do have a few notes though. We cannot and should never assume what people are going through. It may be petty for you, but it may be very crucial to them. So never everrrr say things like: -Some people have it worse than you -At least you have ..... These sheetsss are annoying as heckkk and could really down someone. I know it is not your intention to annoy but people react differently. alsooooooo, it is not okay or normal to hate on things for bandwagon. that is just plainly crazy and stupid. let people enjoy things. anddddddd never suppress your emotions. admit what you feel inside and try to think of a way to resolve ittttt. keeping it to yourself will just make it worseeeeee. find your own outlettttttttt. hihihi ️ alsooooo. being more spiritually full with God's words and ideas really help me to be spiritually happy. ps. im christian but i dont discredit other religion and even applaud other religion's ideas and beliefs. this is a really long, selfish post so i might as well recommend some things I like : Songs with their lyrics that made me go through life. “I’ve got soul but I’m not a soldier” -All These Things That I've Done, The Killers “It's not too late, I'm still right here” -Breaking Your Own Heart, Kelly Clarkson "And the salt in my wounds / Isn't burning any more than it used to / It's not that I don't feel the pain / It's just I'm not afraid of hurting anymore / And the blood in these veins / Isn't pumping any less than it ever has / And that's the hope I have / The only thing I know that's keeping me alive" -Last Hope, Paramore “There is not a single word in the whole world / That could describe the hurt / The dullest knife just sawing back and forth / And ripping through the softest skin there ever was / How were you to know?” -Hate to See Your Heartbreak, Paramore "It's holding on, though the road's long / And seeing light in the darkest things And when you stare at your reflection / Finally knowing who it is / I know that you'll thank God you did" -1800, Logic "Did some things you can't speak of / But at night you live it all again / You wouldn't be shattered on the floor now / If only you had seen what you know now then" -Innocent, Taylor Swift (My bb) "10 months sober, I must admit / Just because you're clean don't mean you don't miss it / 10 months older, I won't give in / Now that I'm clean I'm never gonna risk it // Rain came pouring down when I was drowning / That's when I could finally breathe / And by morning gone was any trace of you, I think I am finally clean" -Clean, Taylor Swift “I guess I always knew / That I had all the strength to make it through.” -Believe in Me, Demi Lovato "I'm addicted to the madness / I'm a daughter of the sadness / I've been here too many times before / Been abandoned and I'm scared now / I can't handle another fallout / I am fragile, just washed upon the shore / They forget me, don't see me / When they love me, they leave me" -I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me, Demi Lovato “I'm overwhelmed / I need a voice to echo / I need a light to take me home / I need a star to follow / I don't know” -Nightingale, Demi Lovato "I'm a walking travesty / But I'm smiling at everything. // Arrogant boy, Love yourself so no one has to." -Therapy, All Time Low "I tried it once before but I didn't get too far / I felt a lot of pain but it didn't stop my heart. / But maybe I'm alive 'cause I didn't really wanna die / But nothing very special ever happens in my life / Take the blade away from me I am a freak, I am afraid that / All the blood escaping me won't end the pain / And I'll be haunting all the lives that cared for me / I died to be the white ghost / Of the man that I was meant to be" -Ghost, Badflower "Are the pieces of you / In the pieces of me? / I'm just so scared / You're who I'll be / When I erupt / Just like you do / They look at me / Like I look at you" -DNA, Lia Marie Johnson Movies and series to try : -The Perks of Being a Wallflower (The book is bomb af. if yall havent tried, ur missing out) -The Kings of Summer -Never Let Me Go -The Art of Getting By -Silver Linings Playbook -Winter’s Bone -The Lovely Bones (The script. The words) -Me and Earl and the Dying Girl -American Horror Story -Black Swan

pps. remember that every one has their own pace and point of view. don’t push yourself too hard, and don’t overthink. give yourself time, and respect all your emotions. analyze them but not more than like 5 minutes as anything beyond that might cause you to overthink and be sadder. and sad is not rad. hehe. you got this. you got you. self love is the best even though it can be tricky to do. nobody else is like you. you’re the only one of you (i just remembered me.......... i might have hummed it while typing it mid sentence). consider other people’s opinion but do not let it cloud your own judgement as you know yourself best. dont let other comment’s define you. spread love. vibe people you vibe with. ayeeee lets go!!! 

ppps this is my last post bc im happier now and know myself better. i no longer limit myself on the age that I want. I want to live as long as how God wants me to be. hehe. 

x :D

[sporadic-writer]

Welcome to the Neighborhood pt. 2

Note: ok so I know that not all of the boys, meaning both twins, live with the others. And I know my update schedule sucks but I go in a block and funk. Sorry guys. I just want you to read something I would read and truly enjoy. Also, I think I may make this a Haz fic bc ones about hin deserves more love and notes.

No one really reads these but I also think I'll write this for Harrison bc when Tom posted the pic of Nadia, it shattered the illusion in my head lol and it feels weird to a certain extent to write when he is most likely dating her. Don't get me wrong, I'm so happy for him and he doesn't know I exist, but it feels odd idk. So im pausing on Tom stuff atm lol. Harrison is single as far as publicly that ik so thats that 😅

Pairing: Harrison x Reader (most likely)

Warnings: mentions of weed, alcohol, and swearing. I enjoy all these things responsibly and ik im not the only one. As always stop reading if you dont like something.

Part 1 here initial teaser here (got around 100 notes soo 😎 check that out)

°•○•°○°•○•°○°•○•°

“Alrighty boys. That’s enough about me, tell me about yourselves. I only know this one from the big screen and that 2 of you are brothers.” You gestured to Tom as you spoke about him. “And from basic eavesdropping I gather you are all very close.” 

Tom smiled, “Actually I’m a brother to the twins, older obviously.” It was fun having a celeb lounging in your hot tub, drinking a beer with you. “But yeah I am an actor, Spider-Man as you probably know. Harrison’s an actor too!”

“Oh my god you are! I watched Catch-22 on Hulu! Comedy my ass..! I balled my eyes out several times.” He had the nerve to laugh in response. “Don’t laugh! That shit got intense quick. Then the shot where you all are swimming? Killed me. I don't know how I didn't notice you. Sorry!”

“Did you at least like it?” He smiled and asked hopefully. When you nodded yes he beamed! “Well then that’s all that matters. I will say an American accent is hard.”

You brought your beer up to your lips. “Yeah because your guys’ accent is so easy. You make fun of how different areas in America have different accents but it’s the same here!” They nodded in agreement at your words. You leaned your head back a tad and enjoyed the warm water. “Southern accents have different twangs bepending on the area, I have family that lives closer to New England, that's something all in its own. Just like here. You got London, Wales, some place called Essex and other places more north of here. It's not just the US." You reached over for your joint to finish it amongst the bubbles. "Now for real. Tell me about yourselves. Harrison you start I guess."

"Why me?"

"Shorter wikipedia page." You smirk as you re-lit your herb. The guys laughed and made 'ooh' noises to tease. "I'm kidding! Relax a touch. I just picked your name because you are right in front of me."

"Well I've known this lot since we were all kids. Tom and I went to school together and we have been stuck with each other since. I was his personal assistant for a while too." You listened as he spoke. Sweat was building up on his face from the hot tub. It added a nice shine to his, and everyone's faces. In order to avoid makeup running everywhere you sat up as you listened to him. You watched his eyes watch your movements as you took a hit and slowly exhaled. Almost like he was relaxing from watching someone relax from getting high without actually doing so. He kept going and you realized you zoned out a tad. "And then I wanted to do more than just model so I did more auditions and Catch-22 became my biggest so far."

You nodded, noting you heard and were listening. "That's cool and all but tell me like favorite song, movie, animal! Hahaha it isn't everyday famous people are in my hot tub. I'm going to savor this first encounter!" He smiled and answered your sort of questions. You offered the joint around before it finished. Tom passed, Tuwaine and Harrison took quick hits though. "But yeah that is me. Now someone else go so I don't have the spot light on me anymore." He looked at you as he said that and handed you the last bit. You winked in thanks, and to flirt lightly. (Shoot your shot right?) "Same questions to you love."

You responded your favorite song, movie, and color to him. "Yeah I like a bit of everything. But funny movies are my favorite. Obviously I like Marvel too Tom don't worry. Same goes for music but my preference ranges from new pop to older rock. I grew up on 80s alternative pop stuff." You smiled at him and he beamed in pride at the brand he represented. "Ok Sam you now."

Sam starts talking about his life and Harrison goes to grab more drinks. At this point the sun as almost finished setting and you tell the blonde how to turn the deck lights on. Soon the rows of edison bulbs flick on and a lovely mood is set. The glow isn't too bright and adds a nice light to your summer tanned skin. What you don't know is that the gentlemen appreciated the glow as well. However, they are too polite to say anything too bold after just meeting you.

If you could read minds or be sober enough to detect a certain lack of subtlety you would pick up on how the single men checked you out as you got out of the tub to get rid of the roach. Polite of course, 20 something men are going to appreciate a beautiful American girl right in front of them.

And if they could read your mind they would hear how you were taking in Tom and Harrison's jaw lines and toned muscles. How you appreciated Tuwaine's smile and height. Then add the twin's curls and freckles to the list and they'd think you were picking them like boys from a catalogue. Despite the slight oggling on your part, your eyes always wandered back to the blonde hair blue eyed boy the most. He seemed a little more laid back then Tom. Probably just because one was working more than the other, but that was just initial vibes you got. Regardless of vain appearance choices and vibe preference, all these boys were wonderful and you were just lucky enough your uncle's hot tub fit them all nicely.

Tuwaine smiled cheekily and spoke up. "Alright, we all have fresh drinks and proper buzzes. Let's make it fun and play a game. So Y/N, you went to college in the states, give us a classic drinking game and show us what you got."

"Ha! I don't know what you're looking for but I assume never have I ever is universal? You can't play kings or flip cup in a hit tub. Hold up 5 fingers, put them down if you've done said thing, drink as well."

"No fingers, just play till we are right pissed." Harry grinned and everyone else went along with it. "I will start. Never have I ever- wait this a normal game or sexy version?"

You said you didn't care and Tom said what the hell, so he continued. "Never have I ever gotten walked in on during a scandelous activity." Tom and Harrison both drank and groaned saying they have both walked in on each other at some point in life. Tuwaine continued.

"Never have I ever fooled around while someone else is in the room." There was a pause and no one drank. But then you rose your beer to your lips and they all looked at you in a manner of surprise and demand for explination.

Shrugging you said, "Old drunken hookup in school. We didn't know his roommate was in his top bunk asleep until it was too late. The mistake we made was keeping on going when we thought we heard him, because we did..."

"Wow Y/N. Learning a lot about the neighbor girl right away!"

"Shut up this game was your idea!" You laughed as you spoke in response to his teasing. "But whatever it's my turn now anyway. Never have I ever sent a dirty text to the wrong person." That got all but Harrison and you felt proud for getting them. "Alright so you are either morons or were in a rush to send that sext."

Tom defended himself saying her name was Sam and it was instant regret the second he realized.

Sam glared at him and said, "Yeah no one enjoyed that bro. I'm still shaken up about it."

"Get over yourself it was like 5 years ago! And you accidentally sent your friend Jake one, so pot, kettle, hi both black."

"It was detailed!"

You just sat there amused taking this all in. "I am so glad this happened tonight." You said more to yourself than them.

"Darling if this ends up in the tabloids we will never speak again." They were teasing with the threat. "But come on this is good let's keep going. Never have I ever done it in a car." You, Sam, and Tuwaine all drank and giggled.

The game continued on and another round of drinks were had. You learned Tuwaine had said the wrong name in bed. Also, that both Harry and Harrison have fooled around during family functions. In return they learned that you've hooked up in a college classroom and in a restaurant bathroom. That ended up getting you and your former boyfriend kicked out of the establishment. Towards the final round all were getting sleepier but still in a good mood.

"Never have I ever had sex high." Harrison challenged the group. No one drank. "Wait really? Thought I'd get you with that. Finish your beer and all." He looked at you as he spoke.

"Nope. Just never happened now that I've thought about it. Huh. You'd think right? But nope. Not that I'm opposed." You ended your statement by glancing his way while finishing your beer anyway. Harrison just watched the way your neck moved as you tilted your head back. "Ok boys this was fun but I am gettin tired."

Tom nodded. "Same here. Thank you for having us darling, it was fun!" The others spoke in agreement and you smiled at them saying they were welcomed back anytime. They offered to help clean but you grabbed the remaining bottles and told them you were good. After final goodbyes, you told them to not he strangers, you were all in your respective homes.

You went to bed pretty quick. Next door, at their place Tom, Harrison, and Sam lingered to get some water before bed. "She was really cool." Sam said while sipping water.

Harrison hummed in agreement. "Yeah I think so too. Very chill and all that."

Sam smirked and playfully said, "You just think she's fit mate." There was a pause.

"Well she is." It was Tom who said that and the others looked at him in playful shock. "What I'm not blind! She is! She's isn't some shy girl freaking out over us. She's cheeky and just seems normal about us living next to her. More Harrison's type though I'd say."

Sam laughed. "Yeah he always liked the classic American 'girl next door' type. Just a bonus she is actually American this time." They paused for Harrison to negate their statements but he just sipped his water and looked at them with a glint in his eyes. "Told you." Sam said as he took a sip. "She is better than half the models either of you bring back. Nuerons fire and she can keep a conversation. Not that all models are like that! But come on you went out with some stereotypes." Neither could disagree. Sometimes you just want to have a date with the beautiful face. Long term needs substance though, and both Tom and Harrison thought you had it all.

"We need to invite her over tomorrow, and any time she's free." Groundwork was to be established and Harrison was determined to get to know you more.

°•○•°○°•○•°○°•○•°

As always, like and reblog! I hope you like it! Also if i forget to tag someone lmk, same if you wanna be tagged or not tagged. Feedback and notes are appreciated but be nice haha I edit as best I can. Thanks for reading and enjoying.

Tags: @jillanaholland @averyfosterthoughts @sarah-m-limelight-2007 @astridcommings

#fanfic #tom holland x reader #tom holland fanfiction #harrison osterfield fanfiction #harrison osterfield x reader #tom holland #fanfiction #marvel #marvel fanfiction #harrison osterfield fluff #harrison osterfield

[aj521z]

EVERY SINGLE QUESTION! ANSWER THEM NOW K PLZ TKS

(I HATE YOU MA’AM)

1. What is you middle name? - Crackhead

2. How old are you? - apprx 8

3. When is your birthday? - April 7 

4. What is your zodiac sign? - Dumb bitchasaurus 

5. What is your favorite color? - Blue. Like turquoise/aqua 

6. What’s your lucky number? - I have no luck Im gay

7. Do you have any pets? - 2 beautiful fucking dogs that the loml and I die for them immediately and kill everyone to defend them. Also a cat who is a wack boy 

8. Where are you from? - SoCal 

9. How tall are you? - 5′7 

10. What shoe size are you? - 10-11 (lol big feets)

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? - probably like 10 and they’re all converse 

12. What was your last dream about? - sleep paralysis shadow demon(:

13. What talents do you have? - falling for girls who leave me 

14. Are you psychic in any way? - No im an oblivious fucking fool

15. Favorite song? - I have 69420 (two that have a VERY special place in my heart though in memory of my little brother are “Comfortably Numb” by Pink Floyd (his fave song) and “Since I’ve Been Loving You” Led Zeppelin <3 

16. Favorite movie? - oooooofff The Lion King is fave disney. Star wars and LOTR are some of my faves

17. Who would be your ideal partner? - Christen Press (only requirement must love dogs)

18. Do you want children? - Pending, but yes dog children

19. Do you want a church wedding? - LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

20. Are you religious? - yes @tobinheats-me-up​ and I have our own religion, bless JVN

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? - YES YIKE im an injury mess

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? - I got chased by the popo but escaped HAHAHAHHA

23. Have you ever met any celebrities? - Lindsey Horan and CP hello ma’ams

24. Baths or showers? - Showers I dont have time move im gay

25. What color socks are you wearing? - none hahaha

26. Have you ever been famous? - Im famous for being a stupid ass clown

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? - fuck no ( @frankarnstein said “no not even a smol” and im dead)

28. What type of music do you like? - mmmm mostly everything but especially rock (indie, classic, industrial, punk, grunge, folk, all of it)

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? - yes 💀

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? - one to two

31. What position do you usually sleep in? - back or side I toss and turn bc I have anxiety lol

32. How big is your house? - I live here so infinite abyss

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? - usually fruit and eggs

34. Have you ever fired a gun? - yes once at a shooting range

35. Have you ever tried archery? - yes! my aunt actually competes and she taught me hahahha 

36. Favorite clean word? - gay and yikes

37. Favorite swear word? - fuck

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? - 78 hours i hallucinated 

39. Do you have any scars? - too many hahaha physically and emotionally 

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? - soranon (only OGs will remember hahahaha)

41. Are you a good liar? - Depends, but usually no hahahah

42. Are you a good judge of character? - I thought I was but I dont know anymore tbh. Ppl are unpredictable

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? - Yes ask @hvafaenerdette​ I love accents ahahahah

44. Do you have a strong accent? - I’ve been told by internationals that i have a strong american accent but idk ahahaha

45. What is your favorite accent? - Tobin Heath skater girl

46. What is your personality type? - Dumb bitch 

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? - idk like shoes?

48. Can you curl your tongue? - 😏 please

49. Are you an innie or an outie? - why is this a question wtf ahahhaha  

50. Left or right handed? - Right hand, Left foot

51. Are you scared of spiders? - No. Unless they fly down from my fan while I’m trying to play guitar and I’m very drunk and feel attacked

52. Favorite food? - All of it

53. Favorite foreign food? - Everything 

54. Are you a clean or messy person? - depends on my mental state((((((((:

55. Most used phrased? - for fucks sake and dumb bitch probably 

56. Most used word? - clown

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? - 5-10 minutes 

58. Do you have much of an ego? - No, I’m a clown I know my place 

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? - suck I aint tryin to break my teeth lol

60. Do you talk to yourself? - bitch pls ahahahah ofc 

61. Do you sing to yourself? - Yes hahahha

62. Are you a good singer? - Maybe? hahaha

63. Biggest Fear? - Jill Ellis 

64. Are you a gossip? - Nope. I am bearer of all secrets hahahah

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? - Tournament of Nations 2017 USA vs. Brazil

66. Do you like long or short hair? - long on me but I dont care on other people

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? - I cant geography, but think I could get most ahahaha

68. Favorite school subject? - bio

69. Extrovert or Introvert? - Depends who I’m with, but usually introvert unless I fuck w you ahhahaha

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? - Snorkling yes, but not scuba diving

71. What makes you nervous? - WHAT DOESNT LOL

72. Are you scared of the dark? - No 

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? - only if it’s serious 

74. Are you ticklish? - Not really hahaha

75. Have you ever started a rumor? - No 

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? - Yesssss

77. Have you ever drank underage? - Lol do you know me

78. Have you ever done drugs? - 🥦 💨 @tobinheats-me-up

79. Who was your first real crush? - Gwen Stefani I think? ahhahah I love No Doubt

80. How many piercings do you have? - 0

81. Can you roll your Rs? - yes ma’am

82. How fast can you type? - very fast 

83. How fast can you run? - I cant, but I can walk very fast, move bitch im gay

84. What color is your hair? - light brown

85. What color is your eyes? - depends on lighting either blue or green

86. What are you allergic to? - homophobia 

87. Do you keep a journal? - I write songs instead hahaha

88. What do your parents do? - judge my “lifestyle” 

89. Do you like your age? - yes hahahah

90. What makes you angry? - men

91. Do you like your own name? - yes it’s v gay

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? - Christen and Tobin 

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? - ive been laughing at this for a minute a “a boy a girl” 

94. What are you strengths? - being gay

95. What are your weaknesses? - girls

96. How did you get your name? - my parents gave it to me? hahahaha

97. Were your ancestors royalty? - cereally 

98. Do you have any scars? - This hasnt changed but again yes both physically and emotionally (:

99. Color of your bedspread? - blue with anchors bc it’s 

100. Color of your room? - tan and one dark blue wall

[scandeniall]

Can I request Atsumu Afro!American!s/o inviting him to her family cookout ( I’m not American tho)

Since you said you weren’t american i tried to make this not americanized (bc thats what i know) and relatively general so i hope i didnt trash this 

ok so i want to start this by saying i can actually see atsumu as a top tier type of bf to bring and heres why:

hes not gonna show up there and be awkward as fuck. Hes not gonna be scared to engage in conversation. Also not gonna be the type of s/o thats like “babe come with me to fix a plate”. His ass is gonna just GO do it

he makes a perfect balance between a dork and smooth talker so he can vibe with all your family. Bashful laughs and genuinely polite greetings when he first meets your parents/grandparents/aunts/uncles to being able to act a fool with you and your cousins when the older folk are away

so when you first approach him like “hey do you wanna come to my family’s cookout,” hes excited. For one- its canon that this man loves food and loves to eat so hell yeah hes in. Second, i can imagine the fact that you’re comfortable enough in your relationship to bring him (whos obvs not black) is a big deal. Like you want him to meet your more extended family? hes like “oh shit i gotta impress” (also people be out here demonizing him more than needed- hes an asshole but not that bad, so even before he was aware of the more cultural aspect of it and is super respectful and wants to learn)

So you pull up with him, and I can imagine him being lowkey nervous the day of/drive to and youre just like “relax, just dont be you” as a joke and he glares at you and youre just like “I’m kidding”

Give him a tiny pep talk, he’d appreciate it. It’d be one of the times you get the sweet side and not the “yall just wild ass best friends who are dating” type him.

The minute he steps out of the car he literally hits a 180 on you and suddenly isn’t nervous. The music is a vibe, your hand is in his, and that food smells good. Hes annoying though and as yall walk thru to the central location hes like “watch your family like me more than you”

Anyways when yall get there its not early but its not late either, so food is highkey still cooking, save for a few hot dogs (which i’m gonna say turkey or veggie for my own selfish indulging LMAO). And this mans does NOT care. He’s still gonna eat 2-3

Anyways, you make quick rounds with him by your side to greet: he straight turns on the charm. To the point where its like “OK but you didn’t even charm me like this sir.” And trust me he eats the compliments your aunties and shit shoot off at him up. (but also props to you because you bagged a man who is fine as fuck) 

Whether you say something or not, he asks YOU to go dance. So yall got your little red solo cups and he smooth grabbing your hand and just straight vibing with you. (he looked at youtube videos and learned to step much to your surprise so uh, you better know how to before he embarrasses you). bonus: when youre alone with close cousins later they like: spill the tea. his hips? d**k game gotta go crazy

anyways towards the later half of the day where the air is a lot more settled and everyone is just chilling, hes over with some of your guy cousins (lets say yall around the same age). Anyways you walk over after talking with your parents, beer in hand for him. Hes the type of bf to just wrap his hands around your middle even while your standing and you gotta give him the look that his hands better not slip lower. But yeah, your fam teasing anyways F in the chat

idk if hes more touchy because its getting late and the adrenaline and excitement for the day is winding down, or its because hes that comfortable with your cousins and they all friends now so if he wanna touch on his baby hes going to

hes actually really good at cleanup (now if only he’d exercise that not around your family lol). Hes handing out the foil, helping empty garbage cans, etc: yeah hes invited back, your family is impressed

yeah now hes tired, its dark its late and as yall are walking back to the car, he offers a squeeze to your hand. “Thank you for inviting me. I had fun.” He also loved seeing you being unapologetically black and you and not having to code switch and yeah he fell in love right then and there at the bright smiles and just pure joy (hes not gonna tell you that part tho, maybe if your sleep and he thinks you cant hear but don’t hold your breath on him voicing that)

bonus: he helped (kinda) with whatever dish you made. He also brought the extra foil, because he didn’t wanna fuck up and bring something stupid 

bonus: your fam like “ooo you should bring us a Japanese dish next time” and yeah he takes something osamu made and claims its his and that he made it all while you look at him like 🤨 knowing damn well-

#haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #atsumu x reader #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu headcanons #ri answers requests #tsumtsumsemi #haikyuu x black!reader

[vampiricsheep]

top 5 favorite animals 👀

PUTTING A BREAK HERE bc desktop is doing. Something. ___________________

aksjdhkjashd animals are (one of) my special interests oh no

uhhhhh

1. I adore sheep as they are without any modifications here but did u know some breeds (like damara, which my ‘sona is based on) are bred to have supper fatty tails? it’s a food thing, but theyre also just cute

2. coyotes. some ppl call them the american jackal and I can see why! also the eastern coyote / coywolf population is fascinating to study bc...well it’s multiple populations but the thing is they’re mutts. like, different populations have mixed wolf and dog genes in those not-as-little coyote bodies! but it’s not a unified blend so calling them a separate species doesn’t really pass the test. anyways its just wild to me how the species definition most often used depends on genetic incompatibility when, while it’s definitely not common bc of behavioral differences, wolves and dogs and even coyotes sometimes interbreed and have viable offspring. what is Up with that

also on the topic of wolves did you know dingos are. a subspecies of either wolves or dogs depending on who you ask. wild

3. velvet worms. they look fuzzy but are actually chitinous and shoot slime blobs at their prey to immobilize them. also they have feet? kind of? but not really? that just kinda stick out from the sides of their bodies. seriously if youre not averse to creepy crawlies look them up theyre so fun to look at

4. sharks are just. theyre covered in teeth (sort of teeth. more teeth than dentures are) but it just Works so it’s fine. if you ever get the chance to (safely!!!!) feel one you should. it’s an incredible texture. they also just feel like pure muscle. basically im saying sharks are fun to pet. also there are SO many of them. a design that just, works

5. i dont have any fun facts for you about these but the anoles where I grew up in texas? precious. adorable. nice to hold (they dont like that dont do it I was just moving them out of harms way)

#thanks for the ask!! #the-mystic-dragon #sylposting

[capfalcon]

top 5 f i c s

all my top 5 fics r for inception but like um in terms of marvel (i havent read marvel fic in a while ok this is hazy)

also i kind of hate you for this ask because i just re read literally every single fic i recced and now im fucking sobbing like a maniac

most of these r gonna be stevetony just an fyi and they are not in order bc honestly every fic is different and has it's own qualities and joys so they are not comparable or ranked i love them all. i would also like to mention that i am the type of person who has loved writing since i was maybe 4, and has been a writer since i was maybe 5, so like. when i recc these, i mean that these fics made me a different person. they made me a better writer. they made me a better human being. because every time you relate to a character over something you have 0 experience with, you are a different person. you have a new perspective. so i am reccing these from the perspective of both a writer and a human being and a person who loves words.

1. maya's (@quidhitch ) entire christmas AU makes me cry and laugh and cry and cry and smile and cry so much i love it (all her other fics are also life changing)

“I love this song,” Steve sighs.

Tony snorts. “Everyone in the world loves this song.”

“Doesn’t make it any less worth loving.”

2. hold your fire by jenthesweetie. this fic. god. this fic. raw. so fucking raw. i am a big big fan of the whole ravaged world idea, and this fic does it justice so beautifully. i even wrote my own fic sorta entirely based on this one. it's. so fucking good. plus im a really really big fan of...not ambiguous endings, but endings that aren't concrete. it's a fucked up world, and sometimes things dont have to be definitively good. it's a beautiful, beautiful fic.

"Yeah," Steve says, and then Tony's quiet for a long time, and absolutely nothing is ever right anymore but given the circumstances it's not exactly wrong, either.

3. okay. so this one is very difficult and honestly I'm gonna cheat and not even do it properly. there are a few select fics that @elcorhamletlive (nanasekei on Ao3) has written that literally maybe have changed my being. probably. quite possibly. almost undoubtedly.

the first is responsibility. this fic haunts me. genuinely. i fall asleep thinking about it, sometimes. it fucking hurts, but like in the way that makes you want it to hurt. (although this is the only fic i will ever recc with a sad ending. the only one. it is the only one i have ever found worth the pain.)

You think of Vormir, of how he kissed you too many times to say goodbye and not enough times to distract you from his shaking hands. He said I wish and you know now what he was thinking of.

the second is Hating Steve Rogers. no joke, for a period of like 5 months, i re read this fic at least ocne a week. i won't say more. the fic speaks for itself.

The thing about loving people is that no one’s exactly good at it. And Tony loves too much and too loudly, and Steve loves too much and too quietly, and they learn to find each other in the middle, to create their own frequency. It’s like palladium and shrapnel, and ice, and Steve’s touch in Tony’s hair in the morning, Steve’s voice at his ear at night, Steve’s hand carefully and slowly reaching for his during a team dinner. 

Tony thinks: I’d start a war to get you to look at me like this.

(Maybe, Tony thinks, you just can’t be that stubborn and kind and brave and exist in the world without also being sad. Maybe being sad is just the price Steve pays for being real.)

Tony counts the endless shades of blue in his eyes, thinks of his hand still so close, wonders how it’s possible to feel drunker on someone’s presence than after five shots of whiskey.

the third is Five Seconds. it's a massive fuck you to the mcu and i love it immensly.

There are the moments where Steve thinks love, in itself, is not a good word to express what they have. Steve thinks love is too small a word – too simple, too easy –, and what he feels for Tony is something humanity hasn’t yet named. He wonders if in some reality someone has found the word, a word for the way he watches Tony yawn and stretch his arms above his head in the morning, a word for the feeling of dying and being born exactly at the same time.

the fourth. if I time it right, the thunder breaks (when I open my mouth). this fic is gorgeous. intricate. delicate. beautiful. just beautiful. it's sort of an ode to love and wanting someone, in its own beautiful way.

(If he’s going to be honest – and he’s always honest –, the minute the words actually leave his lips, he doesn’t regret them in the slightest, just like he didn’t before, in the hospital room and watching Tony sleep. At the end of the day, Steve thinks, you can’t regret the truth. It is just what it is.)

all the rest of her fics are beautiful and lovely and funny and so good, but these ones i would gladly get tattooed across my body, if i had to choose.

4. When Our Day Comes by thepartyresponsible

this is a funny but slightly serious fic about steve dealing with everything, cuz like. that's kind of a lot, and it's fun and it wormed a way into my heart. i adore it.

 “Ugh, what the fuck,” Tony says, running a hand down his face. “JARVIS,” he says, as he falls back onto his bed, “I despoiled America’s sweetheart. Call Rhodey. Call a tattoo artist. Call a priest.”

5. Put My Guns in the Ground (I Can't Shoot Them Anymore) by jukeboxhound

one of the most important things in a fic for me is characterization. i don't really give a shit about grammar or format or even plot, i just want true to form characterization. tony stark is by far the hardest character I've ever written in terms of fanfic. his syntax and phrases and word choice are insanely unique. so, by large, i do not believe most authors tend to capure that perfectly. however, every fic on this list definitely does. but one of the defining characteristics i remember of this series is that i was pretty impressed with this take on ptsd and depression and mental health in relation to both steve and tony in general.

i have reread a few paragraphs in this fic daily for a few months because it's a piece of writing that sees me, that grips my fucking heart and hurts, says in no uncertain terms, "I hear you. I see you."

So yeah, Steve is their captain and their icon and this means he has to make the decisions that other people can't, or won't, or pretend don't exist in this modern civilized world. Tony puts his gauntlets on Steve's hips as though it'll anchor him in the correct era, in the here and now with Tony himself and the consumer capitalist soulless nation that America's becoming, where the American Dream has become the Wall Street Dream. Tony holds himself solid in the face of Steve's hard, bruising kisses, imagines himself taking in what Steve needs to give him and tucking it close inside the harsh light of the arc reactor because he's too cynical to let Captain America bear the weight of all their sins himself.

I'm aware that's technically both 5 and technically not 5, and i want to reiterate, this is not my top 5. this is not ranked. these are the fics i remember right now, and yes, they're beautiful, but there are dozens of other fics i love. there are fics so gorgeous i wish i could make every person on earth read. nasafic's fics got me into stevetony in the first place. i love romcommed by fate, i love first impressions, i love so so so so many more fics than this. but here we are.

i'm gonna go cry some more now and maybe go take another 4 hour nap.

#ask #save #fic rec #fic recs #fics