#if you dont know what i mean check out weird route

[asexualzoro]

it's december 9th, meaning today is my 23rd birthday (which is my favorite number!), which means it's time for...

Lew Writes Wrapped 2023!!!

im including anything that happened after my last bday, so we have some works from december as well. this one's a bit of a weird one for the total word count, you'll see why

it's all treebark from my sideblog / alt ao3. i cannot change. i will not change. for these im just gonna specify the relationship that's the main focus bc thats easier than fandom bc all but like one are third life

dandelion wishing

(Dec, 2.4k, treebark, oneshot) (link)

op movie 6 au for dogwarts in which Martyn is the baron and Ren doesn't know he's dead

id actually plotted out a whole third life au for this movie like months prior and really wanted to write it, so i took it for treebark week and focused it just on these two. it's my fave movie of all time and i obvs had to give it to my fave completely dead team <3

i will admit tho. it did make me back search martyns twitter to see if hes ever posted abt watching this movie. bc i know he likes One Piece and i realized this would bring me into the danger zone (he hasnt ever posted abt it if hes seen it)

A Romance Route for the Doomed Villain?!?

(Dec, 5k, treebark, oneshot) (link)

treebark dating sim isekai parody that spiraled out of my control made in a day-long possession

im still baffled by this one. why was the response to this one so insane?? there was smth in the water the day i posted this bro. a 1:2 kudos to hits ratio for the entire first day is literally fucking unbelievable. 70 comments?? what hold did this fic have on you people. i got fic written about this one?? my friends goncharov'd me in front of my face

really fucking fun to write and the insane response was smth im always gonna remember. i appreciate you guys so much

treesekai also turns a year old in a few days!

Until the Angels Realize You're Not One of Them

(Feb, 7.2k, emerald duo, oneshot) (link)

a traitor phil au which was mostly just me talking about all the reasons i love technoblade

this one... wasnt actually written this year for the most part? i didnt want to not acknowledge it, since it's on my ao3 in this year, but i wont be able to count it toward the total

still. traitor phil au my beloved. hearing him say on his stream he and techno wanted to do a betrayal arc made me feel insane bc i already had this written at the time

missing or obstructed

(2022-present, 12.9k, Grian & Ren, ongoing) (link)

post 3L fic about Ren and Grian seeking out closure with a lot of funny little sleep metaphors

same deal as the last fic, i, uh dont think i actually wrote anything new for missing or obstructed this year either? just uploaded chapters i wrote last year,,, i didnt wanna now acknowledge it, but i wont count this in my total later

i miss her. one day ill actually sit down and write more missing or obstructed. in my doc im JUST at introducing Martyn and i havent written it yet

to reach my mangled debut

(Sept, 4.2k, treebark week, ongoing) (link)

it wouldnt be me if i didnt have an execution somewhere in here. another op au!

THIS. I LOVE HER. when rev and i were plotting out the whole storyline for smop renchanting i was begging please give me this scene i need it and i had so much fun writing it. i rlly need to finish soon but i haven’t had time but please. please check out smop. she’s top of my priority list to update

Three-Dog Night

(Sept, 6.7k, treebark week, oneshot) (link)

BIG DOG. beauty and the beast au!

god im so fond of this au. there’s some rlly good scenes written for this and unposted bc i just need to link them together. honestly i think if i took a month and focused it on this fic alone i could fucking finish it but i don’t have the time ;-;

that said i’m so enamored w this au genuinely. o dunno what else to say i just think. puppy

Cover Me In Roses

(Sept, 3.3k, treebark week, oneshot) (link)

lamplight roleswap! put Martyn in a flower pot

i don’t feel as motivated to work on this one when i have lamplight unfinished so it’s lower on my priorities but know i have like an entire arc of this written and unposted. we just have a few paths for this one and i have to decide which one to use

it’s so wild to me lamplight has like. aus. like this isn’t even the only one? a roleswap. that’s insane? it’s wild that you all like lamplight enough i can even get away with this

First Sign of a House Fire

(Sept, 2k, treebark week, oneshot) (link)

i love superhero stories for two reasons: plots about secrets and adapting the characters to give them powers. this had smth fun for both of them

yellow rose isn’t super high on my list of priorities to update (i think the oneshot is interesting on its own) but one day,,,, it’s part of the many aus cherri and i have but it’s the longest for sure. the doc for just this au is like 100k words long on its own. at the time i draft this cherri and i are actively writing smth else for it in another tab. theres like 4 offshoots and im obsessed w all of them. we had to make ocs about this one. i’m excited to eventually add more to this series

actually that’s one of the scenes i’m most excited for and most dreading adding. we made a backstory oc and im SO attached to him and im excited to post a thing out there w him but. ough. whatever cringe is dead i’ll get there eventually and brute force my way into attaching you to our funky little robot guy

also love that this fic forced me to be decided on a docv characterization that i have to stick to. he may be a canon guy to martyn’s vtuber lore but he’s my oc now too

Blindsided

(Sept, 2k, treebark week, ongoing) (link)

pirate au and royal au based on a big secret and also stuffing a guy in a box and it's all stupid dramatic literally what else do you want or need in life

this is my wife. my favorite. my most beloved. blindsided gives me new illnesses and diseases. i have just one scene to write before i can update it and then i can continue unleashing her. god i love this fic the drama of it is SO fun.

the funny thing abt blindsided is i know all the plot chronologically but now how to Present it which is part of why i haven’t continued too much. eventually i will but until then know that one of the scenes im sitting on which has been fully written is one i think about constantly. hopefully when i post it cherri’ll let free the comic she did for it

i actually have the ending of this fic written i just need to get there lmfao. second on my priority list after smop i think

Cradle of the Leviathan

(Sept, 1.5k, treebark week, oneshot) (link)

i just love mer aus man. whats the point of it all if you cant have mer aus. just get a big ol fish

i have the ending of this au written as well and literally so little of the lead up. but this is pretty low on my priorities. i think this one stands just fine on its own. mer aus are nice like that

we actually have a few mer aus but for now i’ll be focusing on this one. i do have a few sweet post story things written for this one. maybe one day i’ll write enough to post em lmao

Lamplight AU

(2022-present, 47k, treebark, ongoing) (link)

renchanting dnd/fantasy au, martyn's a paladin and ren's a lamp

so i started this au last year. my wrapped last year said my total was 20k, so that means this year's total is.... 27k!

and… it was just lamplight’s birthday and i did all my appreciation for the fic and its readers then, but god. i love this fic so much and i love you all who have read it and been so kind about it. the amount of popularity it has makes it a bit nerve wracking to work on, but i still really want to see it finished. i hope to see the bulk of it done by this time next year!

Six Sentence Sunday

six sentence sunday is a challenge where i try to post six sentences i wrote that week every sunday, to keep me writing every week of the year! i do it over on my writing blog, @driflew

i did not keep up on my six sentences,,, i had a lot of sunday fencing tournaments. i did for ~33 weeks this year! thats a pretty good amount! i’ll have to be more on top of it next year tho

unpublished work

the last few years i havent included unpublished work, but with the extreme bulk of it, i wanted to note it down. cherri @/cherrifire and i have been writing a lot back and forth at each other in discord dms this year, and i wanted to include those in my count! bc holy fucking shit is there a lot of them

i didn’t include collab pieces, just pieces i wrote alone. i also only included the renchanting aus i share w cherri and scarian aus i share w flowey, nothing else—no unfinished lamplight or other independent pieces or oneshots, no original fiction for class, nothing. i also missed a few u haven’t moved to docs yet. so i’m lowballing by a few. thousands. of words

the total for those is...... 135k words! there is,,, something wrong with me

total and end notes

our total this year is...

187512 words!

that might be my highest word count yet! because i caught treebark disease. wild.

something really fun about this year to me is i really loved everything i wrote.

if you want to get me a gift or support me on my birthday… maybe try reading my work and reblogging it or leaving a comment! you can find my writing at driflew or skelew on ao3, follow my writing blog at @driflew, or even consider tipping my kofi!

thank you for sticking with me and supporting me this year! i really appreciate it! hopefully i can break 100k next year too!

#lew writes wrapped #lew writes

[fictionfixations]

jaehee best route presentation

this is just me jokingly dunking on mysme's other routes and pointing out the weird and wacky shit that happened in comparison to jaehee's significantly more tame route (because i love her route. we stan jaehee in this household.)

meant to make a presentation cause a bunch of friends were getting together to make some dumb af presentations but im procrastinating

anyway ive never played deep story or another story mode. and the only routes ive actually played are jaehee's and yoosung's. i cant be bothered to do anyone else's (the notifs get so annoying. im the type of person who sometimes spends whole days in a row desiring me time and being all alone. so guess what when you give me a game thats basically like a messenger in which you have to actually interact by then? its like. actually socializing! which no. it hit my social limit and i just stopped trying after multiple bad endings trying to actually get to zens lol)

since im not gonna be showing off my presentation (because ah.. socialization.. and two, now im kind of scared i might trigger someone..?)

so. here.

MAJOR MYSTIC MESSENGER SPOILERS

its a gif..

[ Content warning: Swears, possibly triggering content, uh. Mention of bombs, death (faked su//cide), possible implied in//est thoughts (he doesn’t harbor those thoughts I don’t think, but it can still be the impression he gives off), ..mention of s*x maybe?, kidnapping, held captive, weird shit that’s meant to be kinky but actually comes off as really creepy, INACCURATE PORTRAYAL OF PEOPLE WITH MENTAL ILLNESSES, cringe, false reporting / negative media, captivity, yandere ending sob??, and ill add more if i can think of more - and torture. I wont go indepth but ill mention it. …beastiality? Just remembered headbang. I dont think its said but ppl kinda see the implications of it i think. ..ive never played his route so i have no clue | is cucking a trigger??? I dont..>>>????? / sexual implications probably  | mentions of S/A. It doesnt happen but a character falsely accuses another to ruin their reputation, toxic relationships ]

thats it lmfao

what i was going to continue with:

jumin. so. you know that bad ending where you're basically kept in his house and he puts trackers in your shoes so you can only walk as far as like the kitchen away from him and doing so alerts him and shit?? and its played off as being some kinky shit i think but like hello? (also i think. it was either him or saeran, but we fuck in the basement he has trauma in??)

(i mean theres also the thing with his cat. the 'i'll treat you like my pet' or something like that line?? i dont remember. or zen having a dream that elizabeth his cat was running away so he locked her up even worse so then when he opened the door she ran??)

707 is the most story-depth i think, the one ppl consider canon. in which. crazy shit probably happens there with the obligatory kidnapping and bomb threat. i honestly cant remember i didnt even go to his page to check . altohugh i think theres an ending where saerans is like 'give me a hug'. 707 does. then saeran kills him. which. oof…. poor guy. or its revealed who their dad is and basically bad things happen i think?

saeran/ray/unknown. inaccurate depiction of mental disorders or something like that (not meant to offend with wording, but i can never remember the names of shit). it was like.. we first get to know ray whose the nicer one. and then there's saeran whose an absolute asshole. there was something like 'if you dont listen something bad will happen' (which is apparently something his mom said to him or something like that?) very sucky situation

V. cucking??? IDFK wtf

V's CELL?

DRUGGed. from. RAY's. TORTURE. okay. okay.

(someone explain to me whats going on in that ending where we're cucking, im so confused)

ah...

so. yknow. jaehee's route is significantly more tame. and relaxing. and stress relieving imo.

the end

#mysme #mysme jaehee #mystic messenger #jaehee mystic messenger #jaehee kang #thoughts #presentation #do not take this seriously #queued because there's no way im taking the time to finish the presentation

[itsclydebitches]

OFMD Party Drabble #6

Prompt: Man vs. Self

Yes I’m still doing this series WHO CAN STOP ME MUHAHAHA anyway here’s Part One and Two.

Edward was his own worst enemy and after thirty years of putting up with the fucker’s nonsense, Izzy was this close to strangling him.

Of course, he’d been saying that for thirty years, so.

Just text him you absolute, utterly deranged sHITSTAIN

Izzy’s fingers flew across the keyboard of his phone. To his left a woman with a baby snuck a look at his ill-tempered texting, whatever expression he’d contorted his face into, and determinedly stood to find another seat. Izzy pressed ‘send’ with the vicious satisfaction of a warrior descending with his sword.

The reply was immediate:

thats not a nice way to talk to your boyfriend :(

YOU’RE NOT GONNA HAVE A FUCKING BOYFRIEND ANYMORE IF YOU KEEP DOING THIS TO ME, EDWARD

you dont mean that 😭😭😭 i just dont know what to say!!! i mean shit Iz he’s a fancy-pants museum curator and i’m slinging burgers all day. how the fuck do i even start that conversation? ‘hi hello i know Iz and he says youre cute wanna go on a fucking date with us’?????

Izzy resisted the urge to lean forward and bash his head against the pole. He didn’t even know where to begin with that. The fact that Edward had never lacked words in his entire, chatty life? That his job was far from just ‘slinging burgers,’ given that Blackbeard’s Bar & Grill was a multi-award winning restaurant with a Food Network spot and a legion of devoted customers? That Izzy had not once, ever, said that Bonnet was cute?

The fact that ‘disgustingly adorable’ might have been a better descriptor was entirely beside the point.

Originally, Izzy had intended to text Bonnet himself, act as the bridge between him and Edward’s rather... unique personality — though he suspected that these two were weird enough that they’d get along like a house on fire. He’d cooled his heels for a day after that absurd miscommunication, got wrapped up in running the restaurant, and then by the time the weekend had rolled around, Edward had decided that he wanted to reach out himself. Great! Less work for Izzy to do.

Except then the idiot had decided he was too chicken to pull it off, leaving them in a weird fucking limbo where Izzy vaguely feared for his life. That Lucius boy might just have been insane enough to follow through on his threats and that was not the kind of Wednesday morning Izzy was looking to suffer through.

Yes, he texted back. Say that exactly.

Iz i can’t say that!!

Sure you can. Put me out of my misery, Edward.

so mean. meanest. meanie. mean-pants :( :( :(

Actually, he should just screenshot all this and send it to Bonnet. Either he’d would fall hopelessly in love with the man like, god help him, Izzy had, or he’d run for the proverbial hills. At this point either option sounded wonderful.

Fuck, but he needed more coffee.

Izzy was just considering whether it was worth getting off a stop earlier and walking the rest of the way to work so he could stop by Ivan’s cafe when a thread of conversation — previously indistinguishable from the rest of the tube’s background noise — hit him like a fucking freight train.

“Hasn’t changed a bit! Wee Baby Bonnet looks like he’s ready to piss his pants...”

Izzy shut his eyes. Surely the world wasn’t populated by acquaintances of Stede Fucking Bonnet, all of whom ended up on his morning route? That was insane. Incomprehensibly annoying. Izzy hadn’t exactly been a saint throughout his life, but did he really deserve this?

Then again, how many people in the city had a predominantly French surname that, depending on its origin, might just derive from a synonym of ‘attractive’?

Sometimes he fucking hated his linguistics degree.

The man who’d spoken sat across from Izzy, just a few seats down, and after a double-take he realized that he didn’t need his eyes checked (again), they were just identical twins. Smarmy looking guys if you asked him, but then Izzy couldn’t exactly throw stones when it came to appearances.

He should ignore it. Really he should. Edward was waiting for a response, Ivan’s coffee was calling, and if he got off now there might even by a blueberry muffin in his future.

Ignore it, Izzy told himself firmly. Just leave, take the scenic route for once —

— and then the cries of ‘Baby Bonnet’ grew louder, accompanied by laughter that was too familiar to ignore.

Izzy closed his eyes and cursed. You sentimental twat.

“Hey.”

The twins looked up, the mirth dying in the face of Izzy’s expression and — while not towering figure — definitely threatening as they sat and he stood, leaning menacingly into their space. So he couldn’t discourage a flirty asshole half his age, but he could still intimidate some identical goons. Good to know.

“Lemme see,” Izzy said and snatched the phone before either could protest. Sure enough, there was Stede, those curls and a bright blue suit — good god with teal lapels? — absolutely unmistakable, even as whoever was filming shook with laughter of their own. It looked like Stede was getting reamed out by some visitor, his hands held up in awkward surrender, protests inaudible against the woman’s yelling. The video ended when she threw whatever was in her takeaway cup across Stede’s shirt. He stumbled back, landing on his ass — hands flying up towards his eyes. Whatever it was had been hot.

What a waste of a good drink. Thank god the suit was ruined.

Izzy wanted to bash that woman’s head in.

He kept his expression neutral as he handed the phone back, the twins sharing wary glances.

“You know that idiot?” Izzy asked — and the smiles bloomed again, identical.

That was all he needed.

“Oh yeah,” the one on the left said, digging himself a deeper hole. “Baby Bonnet was in prep with us. Total fucking pushover.”

“Thought he’d be dead by now,” the one on the right picked up. “Or committed somewhere. Ran him off of Facebook a few years ago, he dropped off the map, but then this gem popped up on Reddit — ”

“I’m sorry,” Izzy interrupted. He removed his jacket and laid it carefully over a nearby seat. The black shirt underneath was rolled to the elbows.

“Sorry?” they echoed.

“Not you,” Izzy sneered. He quickly caught the gaze of everyone else in the car, their attention drawn to the growing electricity in the air. The woman with the baby sighed and got up to leave. Izzy inclined his head at her retreating back.

Then he slammed his fist into the first twin’s nose.

They even went down the same, all bloody spurts and pathetic whimpers. Izzy might not have been as young as he once was, but it would take a lot more than these weak fucks to provide a challenge. Back-alley brawls and two decades of fencing had given him the reflexes of a cat and Izzy’s blood sang at the whoop of approval a few seats down. That’s why he was doing this. It was good to expend the energy on occasion.

It had absolutely nothing to do with Bonnet’s stricken expression in the vid.

When he was done and the twins had fled, with very pretty pictures painted for them about what would happen if the cops got involved, Izzy dabbed his knuckles with an old napkin and rearranged his clothes. The dude who’d whooped finished recording — because everyone recorded everything nowadays, the fucking degenerates — and shot him a small, hesitant smile. Izzy whistled him over.

“Send that to me,” he said, rattling off his number.

Izzy had long since passed his stop, but that was okay. If he was going to be late, might as well be late with a halfway decent breakfast. As he re-planned his route, Izzy attached the vid for Edward, easily imaging the glee on his face when he saw it.

“Had worse mornings,” Izzy acknowledged, pulling up his texts.

Stop being a self-sabotaging twat, you TWAT. Send this to Bonnet with my regards. If we can fight for him, we can sure as fuck invite him to dinner.

#OFMD #Our Flag Means Death #GentleHands #SteddyHands #OFMD Party #OFMDfic

[onedayimgonnasnap]

The Perfect Gift

Sherry Invidia X GN Reader

I made this fanfiction because after doing a couple of stuff in Tino’s route she caught my heart badly and I don’t know if I wanna be friends with her or be with her- (This Can be read platonically or romantically)

3rd POV:

“What are they doing there, getting themselves dirty like a rat?” Whispered a student clearly disgusted at the sight.

“Maybe they’re looking for food, man I feel bad, maybe we should leave them coins right here” Another student laughed as they didn’t even leave a coin and ran off.

You were currently in the academy’s garbage can. Getting weird looks at by other students while they gossiped at you and were making fun of you…

‘ Why, are you in the garbage?’ you may ask? It’s simply because you wanted to cheer Sherry up with the perfect gift and you were to broke to afford the Royal gift standard. So you settled on a simple Troom Troom/ 5 minute Craft DIY.

Yes I know, pathetic. You were making fun of them a year ago and here you are now using their advice to please the Princess-

.

.

.

“What are you doing in the garbage?!”

Yelled a grossed out Lance.

You looked up at him clearly pissed off; “MIND YOUR BUSINESS, JESUS CHRIST. NOWONDER ME AND DIA ARE YOUR ONLY FRIEND- WAIT SCRATCH THAT IM YOURE ONLY FRIEND-!” You shouted back at him about to throw a raccoon you found in the garbage at him.

“Stop using your weird language and I don’t need friends.” He tsked obviously pissed off and walked away.

….

A couple of hours later you’re at you dorm worn out from dumpster diving and stealing a random kid’s school supplies-

You currently had a couple of pieces of cardboard, some paper, scissors and glue. You didn’t even know those things exist in this world but here you are.. amazed.

Then you got to work on your DIY-

….

“Um… I don’t wanna be mean-“ “YES I GET IT- IT LOOKS DEFORMED- IT LOOKS LIKE BOTH OF ITS PARENTS ARE BROTHER AND SISTER. MY PARENTS RAISED A FAILURE!” You cut off Robin crying dramatically.

Robin just looked at you with a blank face as you got into the floor and cried dramatically.

.

.

.

You then hear a knock on the door. You’re heart soon raced knowing it was the one and only Sherry since you asked Robin earlier to invite her.

Soon freaked out, of the abomination behind you..

“QUICK ROBIN HIDE IT-“ “YOU HIDE IT” “NO YOU HIDE IT MOTHER FUCK-“ “Hello MC I came to see you”

Sherry stepped in elegantly as ever but you noticed she was sad but trying to hide it because she wanted to hang out.

“Hey Sherry how are you?” You said quickly hiding the monstrosity behind your back.

This doesn’t seem to go unnoticed by Sherry in front of you as she seemed curious what you were hiding.

Sherry soon smiled deviously as soon as she was curious and wanted to know what was behind you.

Stepping towards you slowly while smiling evilly, you started panicking. Both you and Robin looked back and forth at eachother and Sherry. ‘S H I T’ You thought.

You then put it behind your back holding it with one arm going around in circles with Sherry as she starts giggling trying to swipe what’s behind you.

.

.

.

Soon as this game lasted about 5 minutes till, Sherry fell over and tripped on her heel on accident.

“Are you ok?!” you yelled while frowning and subconsciously putting down the present.

You rushed towards her dramatically checking if she was ok, because you care about her (And because if she got seriously injured the king would hang you like Jesus was hanged)

“I’m fine MC” She giggled swiping the ugly present so fast.

You starred at her in horror soundlessly and she held it in her hands without saying anything.

“You know what Master? I think I should be going” Robin said as he ran off through the window not wanting to see the awkwardness that would soon ensue.

‘DONT LEAVE ME YOU TRAITOR-‘ You thought as you watched Robin leave with dramatic tears in your eyes.

Looking down at Sherry as you saw her giggle at the gift.

“MC, why are you trying to hide this from me it’s really cute. I admire it deeply it’s amazing it’s better than anything I can do” She said while smiling and admiring it

Soon a big grin spread onto your face as you felt happy seeing her reaction gratefully.

#court of darkness x reader #court of darkness #sherry invidia #Sherry Invidia x reader

[sailoryooons]

Just a question. I feel like your works are largely unedited. Is there a reason? It just feels frustrating as a reader when authors dont bother to edit their work lol

Hi anon - so I mean I can't speak for all the writers on this platform but I can speak to my personal experience editing my own stuff. I can assure you that it isn't born of laziness or not caring about the quality of my work, it is quite literally rooted in my worst quality as a writer: insecurity.

Insecurity might not actually be the right word but it's the one I'm going to use. I have a very weird relationship with my writing, that the longer I spend on a work, the more I start to loathe it, especially if it's something particularly difficult to write.

Additionally, if you've read most of my stuff, you see how long a lot of my things are. When I finish a fic after usually hours and thousands of words, I am suddenly in the editing stage and there is nothing more that gives me absolute anxiety than the thought of editing. Also - most of my unedited is my early fics or the ones that are like 20k words. I'm pretty lucky that 9/10 my more recent fics are beta read by @here2bbtstrash and I know those have no errors because M is perfect, but beyond M, I don't have someone who beta reads for me. It's a huge ask for people who are often also writers to stop their own fics and read 20k words for you.

One thing I have learned about myself: the more editing I do, the more I start re-writing the work. I have delayed so many fics this way. Editing is the reason that Chapter IV of Carved took so long. I was writing and erasing thousands of words at a time over and over again because when I went back to edit, I had fallen completely out of love with what I had written.

When I say I don't edit - I do use Grammarly and Spell Check and I make all those changes, and I do skim while going through those checks. I don't think that my fics are largely unreadable - someone can tell me if they are - but it's sheerly based on the fact that, currently where I am at in my relationship with my own writing, not stopping to read-edit my own works is the lesser of two evils, which is me re-writing a fic over and over again.

I understand as a reader it can feel like a writer doesn't care when they don't edit closely, but I just... it's my own thing to work on and something to try and get better at. It's not because I don't want to or think I don't need to. It's because the editing process makes me not want to post.

*Note: anyone who has ever sprinted with me or written in a collab with me can attest that 98% of my fics are not written over several days or weeks. They are typically written in a span of over 2-3 days in which I write thousands of words in a few hours. This is part of why at the end of a fic I don't even want to look at it.

Also I write for free on Tumblr dot com so I am always going to pick the route that gives me less anxiety I'm sorry

#replies

[yusiyomogi]

deltarune spoilers!!! (please, just block this tag if you don't wanna see spoilers)

.............................................................................

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OH BOY

#deltarune spoilers #deltarune #this is pacifist playthrough btw #but implication though #oh boy #if you dont know what i mean check out weird route #noelle holiday

[wonwoonlight]

stars | kwon soonyoung

➝ Soonyoung x Reader

➝ feat. Jihoon, Wonwoo, Jeonghan, and Somi

➝ word count: 5438 words.

➝ angst // fluff on the first half :) // nonidol!au // fantasy!au (kinda, but not really, you’ll know)

➝ warning: major character death!!!!!!!!!!, mentions of accident, terminal illness? but i didnt go into details bc i dont wanna be misleading, an unbelievably coddling brother,.......cliche????, the seal idea is from the fate series’s command seal, if you know about it heheheh, this is a very fair warning but I SUCK SO MUCH AT ANGSTTT

➝ song: EXO - Baby Don’t Cry (please please please do listen to this and see the lyrics and you’ll know why the angst part is somewhat based on this song to certain point) ((plus its a really good song lol))

➝ A/N: this is for @noisytigercandy​​ who asked for a hoshi/wonwoo/woozi heavy angst so i chose hoshi bc i havent written a long one for him! bc your request was simply “to make it as angsty as possible” i went down this route because i totally suck at angst and idk how to make it heavy T-T hopefully, this checks out with what you want. also, this is the first time i cry writing something and its such an experience lol im just too weak hearted for my own good, so it might not actually be as sad. also, sorry if there r a lot of grammatical mistakes bc I Can’t  read this again without crying lol. anyway!!!!!! enjoy!! your feedback would be much appreciated mwah

When you smile, sun shines

언어란 틀엔 채 못 담을 찬란 The kind of brilliance that words can’t express

Everyone is born with a seal on their body, all with different images in the form of one single tattoo.

You’re still not sure what’s the image supposed to represent; some people have their seals related closely with what turns to be something they love most as they grow older. Your brother, Jihoon, has a string of bars with notes decorating them going around his lower arm, ending on his pinky. A very beautiful tattoo that fits someone who loves music with his entire life.

Some people are just entirely something else; a vine of grapes on one’s arm, a fancy cross on top of one’s hand despite their belief, a string of flower going around one shoulder to the other on someone who’s allergic to pollen. Maybe fate likes to play irony at times.

You have a string of stars that goes through both of your wrists, which is a bit weird; because you’ve heard no one should have their seal broken into two the way yours is. The seal should be on one place as a whole, not in pieces.

The moment you’re born, the sight of your seal on both of your wrists quickly brought worry to your parents.

The seal is a gift for humanity. It is said that you can ask for three wishes; every wish fades a part of your seal. Using up three wishes means having your seal entirely faded, the tattoo gone as if it’s never there to begin with.

Having your seal completely faded means ending your life.

Maybe it’s a price everyone has to pay for the generous wish. The last part of their tattoos and the remains of the first two reminding them the good things the wish has brought and, at the same time, reminding them not to get too comfortable and greedy.

The wish works in a mysterious way, subtle yet obvious. No one is supposed to understand how it works, you conclude.

It scares your family; not knowing why your seal is that way. Would you be able to use your wish? Does it mean you only have two wishes (technically one) because the tattoo is clearly divided into two?

It doesn’t help that you turn to be a rather weak child, going back and forth to the hospital even up until now. Your heart is weak, the doctors have said, it’d be the better choice for you not to be too active so your heart won’t act up.

Both of your parents have used their second wishes on two different surgeries you went through a few years ago; ones in which the doctors seemed more tense as if knowing the successful rate was somewhat low.

When you’re old enough to learn about this, you make Jihoon promise never to use his wish on you; your parents’ are enough. Jihoon has been conflicted, but reluctantly agrees because he knows it’ll only make you feel worse about yourself.

In short, your parents dote and protect you so much that you’ve become very quiet and closed up; homeschooled for all of your school years as you currently attend a cyber university. You’re much better now, your visit to the hospital isn’t as often. But your parents are used to being protective of you and you’re grateful though it’s too much at times.

Your parents allow you to go out as long as you tell them where you’ll be going to, but having minimal friends mean you don’t have a lot of chances to go out often. Either you wait for them to be free, go out with Jihoon, or you go for a walk by yourself.

Your friends simply consist of those that are Jihoon’s friends, often coming around to play in his small studio in your house. A guy named Wonwoo, another called Jeonghan, and a girl called Somi.

Lazily laying around on the sofa, you stare up at your seal, putting your wrists together to see the stars decorating them when Jihoon suddenly appears on top of you. “You okay?”

“Yupp,” you sit up, turning to him. “Just one of those days. Are you working on a new song again?”

Jihoon sits beside you, ruffling your hair as he does so. For someone who hates physical touch, you’re the only person he openly coddles and throws his affections at.

“Yeah, the beat is done, and I have an idea about the melody. We probably will mostly work on the lyrics today,” he says as you settle on his shoulder. Jihoon has been your pillar, if anything, and you’re glad your brother is as reliable as he is.

“Ohhh, are Wonwoo and Jeonghan coming? What about Somi?” you say excitedly, missing your friends. It’s been a week since you last see them, all three busy with their own stuffs though Somi calls you every night.

Your brother shakes his head, looking at his phone. “It’s another close friend of ours. I told you about some of my other friends, right?”

“Umm… the guy with the English name and tiger boy?”

Jihoon cringes a little, making you laugh. “The latter. I shouldn’t have told you about that.”

“Why!” you giggle, lifting your head. “He sounds like a funny guy; I’d like to meet him!”

“You won’t be wishing the same once you see him,” he shakes his head again, making a face.

“But you must like him enough if you let him come here,” you grin at him, excited at the thought of meeting someone new.

The little smile that grows on his face isn’t missed by you, but the opportunity to tease him is gone when the door bell rings. Jihoon sits up, and you follow him like a puppy, hiding behind his figure despite the small difference between your heights.

When Jihoon opens the door, you peek a little from the back. You’ve never seen this guy, but his presence is so bright and warm that you can’t help but smile without meaning to. He greets your brother with a very loud ‘Yo! Woozzzzi!’, which makes you chuckle a little before stopping yourself as the stranger’s eyes travel to you.

“Oh? Who’s this?” He asks, tilting his body a little so he can see you clearly as you hide yourself some more.

“My sister. Don’t do anything funny,” he warns, bopping the taller guy in the head to get his face away from yours.

“Hi!” he grins, and you start to wonder if he ever not smile. “I’m Soonyoung! I didn’t know Jihoon has a sister?”

You smile back hesitantly, stepping to the side to take his hand as you introduce yourself to him. “Hello, I’ve heard about you from Jihoon.”

Soonyoung cocks his head to the side, a teasing grin on his face. “You actually talk about me?”

“Yes, because you’re weird and people tend to mention weird things they encounter to other people around them,” Jihoon simply says, closing the front door as he makes his way to the studio with Soonyoung in tow.

As you listen to his laugh chiming through the house, you can’t help but think it’s the most beautiful sound you’ve ever heard in your life.

“Soonyoung, can I ask you something?” you ask, swinging yourself on the swing.

You’ve known Soonyoung for a few months now. An unlikely friendship has grown between the two of you since the moment he steps inside your house to work on his music with your brother.

Jihoon has been reluctant to let you befriend him at first, afraid Soonyoung’s much too active and outgoing nature would be too overwhelming for you. But when he sees how much you laugh and enjoy your time with him, Jihoon doesn’t have it in him to stop you from befriending the guy.

You spend a lot of time with him now, sometimes just a little trip to the park, sometimes he brings you to the arcade so you can play some game together and watch him jump around on the Pump machine. He’s a little clumsy on the game, but something tells you his body movement is anything but.

“Shoot,” he replies, trying to swing himself higher.

“What’s your tattoo?”

He stops the swing, his feet digging through the ground as he hums to himself.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to answer, I’m just curious,” you tell him, a bit worried that you’ve somehow offended him.

The sound of your soft gasp can be heard through silent park as Soonyoung tugs the collar of his shirt down a little, showing you a spider web with both sides of its string already fading away. Did he use both of his wishes already?

“Cool, right?” he grins, his eyes turning into crescents. “A shame it’s not a tiger, but spiderwebs are cool enough, I guess.”

You stare at him, a strange feeling bubbling up on your chest before you nod and smile back at him. “Yeah, really cool.”

“You’re curious, are you?” he asks, starting to swing again, though this time slowly. The length of his legs doesn’t really allow him to do so, so his legs are bent a little as he tries to swing little by little.

“Hm?”

“About why did I use up my wishes already at this age,” he chuckles, the air around him is heavy. Probably the heaviest you’ve ever seen of him though that might be intensified due to his constant smile and laugh, his cheerful personality that shines above all.

“A little,” you honestly answer. “But you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

The sound of Soonyoung stopping and standing up makes you stop, too. He doesn’t say anything, simply dusks off his pants as he offers his hand to you with a smile.

You take his hand, thanking him as you stand up. When you try to let go, Soonyoung just tugs you with him, walking with you in tow. You don’t even ask where he’s taking you. Everywhere is fine as long as you’re with him.

It’s been a while since you’ve stopped denying your feeling for the guy. Soonyoung doesn’t need to know that, though. You’re completely fine letting your feeling grow for him like this, you don’t wish for a budding romance when you can’t even take care of your own self. It’d be selfish to ask for someone to take care of you.

“One of them I used by accident,” he starts, his thumb caressing your knuckles, making blood rush to your cheeks. You know what it feels like when your heart runs a little to fast, but never for this reason. Never because of someone else.

“My cousin’s dog died and she’s crying so much when it happened. I was sad but seeing her cry made me cry, too. She was so small, the dog much older than she was. So, I used my wish to get her a new dog that looks more or less the same with the old one,” he smiles, looking down at the pavement.

“The next day, she’s got another puppy from auntie’s friend. She said their dog just gave birth and she couldn’t take care of them all. The dog looks nearly identical with the old one, so auntie took it with her immediately.”

Your hold on his hand tightens, and Soonyoung squeezes your hand back. “She must’ve been very happy.”

“Yeah, the dog still lives now, almost 20 years later. So, it’s not a waste of wish, really,” he grins again, meeting your eyes as you look up to him.

“The second time, I used it for a dear friend.” The smile on his face seems content, as if he’s glad he did so. “He’s younger than me. A guy named Chan that I met from a dance club in high school. He wanted to be a dancer, that’s what he told me the moment he stepped in the club room. And I know he could do it; he’s more determined than anyone I’ve ever known and he’s got the talent.”

Soonyoung finds a bench beneath the tree and pulls you there to sit with him. It’s spring now, the trees along the street are blooming a pretty color of white and pink. Cherry blossom petals decorating the pavement as the wind blows a fine breeze every now and then.

He doesn’t let go of your hand even when the both of you take a seat there.

You let him be.

“What happened next?” you ask, wanting to hear the rest of the story.

“We became close real quick, and he’s basically a little brother to me even now. On his first year of university, he got into a car accident,” he frowns, the memory fresh in his mind. “It was pretty bad. His legs were beat up and even after therapies the doctor said it’d be hard to get back to dancing again with his condition.”

Your heart breaks at the story, you can only imagine how hard it is when your dream is taken away right in front of your eyes.

“He was so devastated, to the point where he wasn’t himself for a few months. I asked around, looking things up in the internet that might help him. An older cousin who’s studying to be a doctor outside the country says there might be a way to help, but it might cost a lot because the procedure is available only on where he’s at. I told Chan about it, but he said he couldn’t make his parents pay for it just because of his dream; that he’ll be fine doing other works even if he has to part ways with the thing he loves most.”

“Did you wish for his recovery? Can it work that way?” you ask, still intrigued with the wish. You haven’t used your wish at all, your parents warning you it might not be the best thing to do with your anomaly.

“Of course not,” he shakes his head. “It’s not that easy. But I wish for Chan to get another chance of recovery. About a month after that, my cousin said a professor wants to sponsor Chan’s surgery as long as Chan is fine with flying there, and there’s a chance his legs won’t 100% get better. It didn’t, but it’s much better than the prior condition. He’s a dance teacher for little kids now, but he’s learning to be a choreographer, too, and he seems more than happy with that.”

You stare at Soonyoung, someone with a heart so beautiful that he uses his limited gift to help others. There’s nothing bitter in his tone, too, he’s content and happy with his choices. You asked him if he never thinks of using his wishes on himself before, and Soonyoung simply hums as he thinks to himself.

“Maybe? I don’t know. Anyhow, there must be a time before us when humans don’t have these wishes, right? I’m sure if they could be fine without them, I could be, too. I’m glad I used mine to help instead of something ordinary like a job or something,” he flashes you that beautiful grin again, and how can you not smile back at him when he’s looking as he is?

You ponder about his words, glancing at your broken tattoos before smiling to yourself. He’s right, there must be a time when humans don’t even have wishes to help them through their roughest time. If they went through it just fine, why couldn’t you?

Falling in love with Kwon Soonyoung just might be the best thing you could ever wish happening to your life.

“What’s your biggest wish?” Soonyoung asks, one of his arms under your neck and the other on your waist as the both of you lay facing each other on your bed. Your parents are out of town, but Jihoon would have his head if he finds out. On the other hand, if there’s anything you’ve learned from Soonyoung, sometimes it’s okay to live on edge and you figure it’s a problem for when it happens.

“Campfire? Just spending some time out with my friends outside, singing songs under the night sky,” you tell him, your finger waves through his newly dyed hair. “Wait, you’re not gonna wish for that, will you?”

Soonyoung laughs, dropping a kiss on your forehead. How did your relationship even progress to this point? You’re not gonna think too much about it. “Of course not, silly. I can just arrange one for you, I’m not gonna die so you can have a campfire.”

“Don’t joke around about something like that!” you hit his shoulder softly, not amused with his joke. “Plus, Jihoon would never allow you to arrange a trip like that for me.”

Soonyoung rises his eyebrow, his mouth forming a pout out of habit. “Are you challenging me?”

You just laugh, the thought of going for a campfire trip is happy enough for you. There’s no need to actually go on one, you’re glad you have him by your side, anyway.

When Jihoon goes inside your room to ask what would you like to have for dinner, he finds you and his friend asleep, cuddled together on top of your blanket. He doesn’t have the heart to wake you up when you’re tucked safely in Soonyoung’s arms, your hand gripping the back of his shirt as if afraid someone would try to make you let go.

He couldn’t say he didn’t see it coming, either.

A month or so later, you’re on your way to a camping site with a camping car your parents help you rent with Jihoon, Soonyoung, Wonwoo, and Somi. Jeonghan can’t come, but he makes all of you promise there’d be a next trip with him.

“You better be glad I didn’t make you bet on it at that time,” he nudges you with his shoulder.

You laugh, nodding to his words to indulge him. “Yeah, yeah. But my parents wouldn’t have said yes if it wasn’t for Jihoon coming with us.”

“What, you two were planning on camping by yourselves?” Jihoon joins in from his seat, glaring at the guy. “You think I would allow you?”

Soonyoung lets out a laugh, his hands up in surrender. “It just came up before and she said I wouldn’t be able to arrange a campfire for her because of you.”

“She’s right,” Jihoon nods, as if it wasn’t Soonyoung that suggested this trip, convincing him over and over again it’s what you want. That a camping doesn’t have to be hard work and you’ll be okay because the rest can set up the tent for you.

The other guy just shrugs, and you giggle at the banter. Jihoon wouldn’t admit it out loud, but you’ve been much happier and brighter because of Soonyoung and your blooming relationship. He’s glad, of all people, it’s Soonyoung who’s making you happy.

“Are you that excited?” he asks, amused at the way your feet have been jumping up and down.

“She can’t even sleep last night,” Jihoon answers for you, shaking his head though there’s a smile playing on his face. “She ends up sleeping on my bed as I plastered myself to the wall because she keeps on moving around.”

Soonyoung chuckles, ruffling your hair. “She’s practically an octopus when she sleeps, right?”

Jihoon narrows his eyes at his friend, making Wonwoo and Somi laugh from the front seat. “You’re getting too comfortable, aren’t you? I don’t think that’s an info I should know that you’re aware of, is it?”

“We’re just napping together, there’s nothing wrong with that,” Soonyoung says brazenly, laughing again when you hit his shoulder. “What! He already knows, anyway.”

You just hide your face in your palms in embarrassment. For once, the quickening rate of your heartbeat doesn’t bother you even a little bit.

Hearing Somi’s soft breathing next you, you wave your hand in front of her face to make sure she’s really asleep.

It’s been a really good day even though you’re a bit tired throughout, having slept late the night before and not used to this kind of activity. The whole of you retreating to the two tents when it’s a little past midnight, Wonwoo whining that he needs his sleep because he drove the whole way there.

It was a bit of a shame, because you don’t know when will you be able to get another chance to go on a camping like this ever again. But you get that everyone is tired; even you’re tired, but you can’t sleep even after laying there for what feels like hours.

You wake up slowly, trying to make as little sound as you can as not to wake Somi up. It’s almost 2AM now, so you put on your jacket to go out, maybe spending a little more time under the stars would help.

Stepping outside, you can see quite a few people in front of their tents, too. Maybe sleep hasn’t come, maybe they just want to go stargazing. You sit on the chair from earlier near the campfire, looking up at the sky as you put on your airbuds, listening to some music to keep yourself company.

You jump a little when two hands softly hold your shoulders, glaring at Soonyoung who’s standing behind you with an unapologetic grin.

“Why are you out here?” he asks, placing another chair next to you. “Can’t sleep?”

“Yeah. Adrenaline rush, maybe? It’s been such a good day, I don’t want it to end,” you say, leaning to Soonyoung as he extends his arm to you.

“I’m glad you’re having fun,” he says softly, his head on top of yours as his free hand goes to rub the seal inside your wrist. “It’s worth constantly annoying Jihoon for weeks.”

You laugh, thanking him again for making this possible. “I don’t think I can ever thank you enough for this.”

“You know I’d do anything for you, right?” he says again, lifting his head to look at your eyes.

“You know I’d do the same for you, right?” you tell him without missing a beat, looking back at him.

“You don’t have to do anything for me. I’ll be fine as long as you’re here with me,” he says, winking at his cheesy comment.

Your burst into a fit of giggle, looking back up at the sky full of stars as you cuddle further to Soonyoung’s warmth.

“The stars are so beautiful tonight,” you tell him, remembering how much you’ve wished to experience this firsthand, not just though fictions. “I feel like they’re brighter today.”

“Brighter than me?” he giggles a little at his own question.

As you look up at him to see his eyes turning into beautiful crescents with a big smile glittering his face, you think there could possibly be nothing that shines brighter than Kwon Soonyoung.

It’s getting worse.

You don’t know what causes it, but your heart is getting worse again for some reason. The doctor even mentions you might need to do another surgery if it doesn’t get better by the next appointment.

Soonyoung is unfortunately outside the city when you receive the news because there’s a family wedding he needs to attend. But as you cry the whole night, telling him you’re scared through the phone, Soonyoung doesn’t hang up until he hears the soft pattern of your breathing.

He stays in the phone for a few minutes after that, making sure you’re really asleep before he hangs up, finally letting out the tears he’s been holding back.

It’s not fair. It’s not fair at all that a soul as beautiful as yours have to battle through something like this when you’ve done nothing to deserve it at all.

Soonyoung unconsciously traces his seal near his neck, staring into space as the trace of his tears start to dry. He doesn’t know what it feels like to have his heart in a weak state, but when he thinks of you suffering through all this, he can feel his heart tightening on his chest.

That must be how you feel but much worse. He hates it so much.

“Has the doctor told you when the surgery would be?” Soonyoung asks, once again laying in your bed, his thumb caressing the apple of your cheek as if it’s the most fragile thing in the world. Your parents and Jihoon have let the two of you be, now already trusting Soonyoung wouldn’t do anything they’d frown upon.

“Next week.” you sigh, the thought of surgery still scaring you despite it not being your first time. “I don’t know why, but I’m more scared of this surgery than the ones I’ve gone through before.”

Soonyoung looks at you before slowly moving forward to drop a kiss on your forehead. “It’s going to be okay. You’ve survived the ones before, haven’t you? You will again. There’s no reason you will lose a battle when you’ve been fighting restlessly.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” You nod a little, your head dropping to where his seal is hidden by his shirt. “I’ll be fine. It’ll pass just like my past surgeries and I’ll get better again.”

Soonyoung just hugs you tight, hoping you don’t notice his trembling lips and the tears he’s been holding.

It’s definitely not a complaint from your side, but Soonyoung has been making sure he’s spending all of his free time with you everyday leading up to the surgery. You’ve gone to the arcade again with him, a short trip to a flower field, and a simple picnic near the Han river. Sometimes Jihoon would tag along, sometimes he wouldn’t.

You get an idea of why Soonyoung is doing all of this; he’s never been there when you’re going through a surgery. The both of you say you’ll be okay, but the truth is, you don’t know. The thought of surgery is always scary, but it gets ten-fold scarier when it’s something as vital as a heart.

There’s a silent understanding in your mind: there’s a chance you might not survive this surgery and you won’t be able to spend time with Soonyoung again. Whatever it is, you’re going to accept these few days with a happy heart, and if it is the last few days you have left, you’re glad you’re spending it with the love of your life.

On the day before the surgery, you have carefully asked your parents if Soonyoung can sleep over, telling them his presence calms you down. They, of all people, know how scary a surgery can be for you.

It seems that they also get the same understanding as you do; so, your father has just smiled and nodded, telling you Soonyoung can stay if it helps you go through the night.

That night, you lay under the blanket with Soonyoung holding you close to him.

“What do you want to do most when you’re all better?” he asks, his fingers waving through your hair.

You hum, though in your mind you don’t mind doing anything as long as it’s with him. “I want to see the stars again like we did that day.”

Soonyoung smiles that dazzling smile of his again, a smile reserved just for you. “The stars were really beautiful that day, weren’t they?”

“Yeah. I think it’ll be good if we can go stargazing again someday,” you tell him, a yawn escaping through your lips.

“You’re not gonna cry tomorrow, are you?” he asks, pulling you closer.

“As long as I get to see you again,” you simply say, settling on the space near his neck.

Soonyoung doesn’t say anything in return, just holds you a little tighter until sleep finally finds the both of you.

Soonyoung apologizes to your parents the moment you’re submitted to the surgery room, telling them he can’t wait until it ends because there’s an emergency back home.

They have just smiled, nodding their head in understanding. Your mom hugs him for a moment, thanking him for making you the happiest they’ve ever seen.

He smiles at them, thanking them for having someone as beautiful as you are.

When your mom comes back home from the hospital, the house is strangely dark despite Jihoon being home. The surgery has gone well despite the doctor telling them to brace themselves, but you need to stay in the hospital for a few days and your father has offered to stay with you.

She calls for Jihoon as she turns on the lamps, but there’s no answer. She checks his studio, but he’s not there. When she comes up to check in his room, it is instead from your room that she hears someone crying.

It’s been so long since she’s heard Jihoon cries; the last time is probably almost two decades ago. She’s unsure on how to approach him nor what could possibly happen that her first son is crying to the point where she can hear him from outside.

“Jihoon?” she calls, turning the door knob. Her steps halt the moment she opens the door, her son holding Soonyoung in his arms, his body limp as if he couldn’t hold his own weight. “Jihoon, son, what happened?”

He shakes his head, barely able to let out the words out of his mouth.

“He…” he takes a deep breath, wiping his own tears. “he used his third wish.”

Your mom gasps, struggling to say anything in response.

“For your sister?” she finally says, her voice barely a whisper and tears already forming in her eyes.

Jihoon nods, tears escaping his eyes once again.

He hates to think what would happen to you once you find out.

“Thanks for bringing me here,” you tell your brother, your arms leaning to the fence while you tuck yourself deeper into your jacket as the both of you stand near the river. “Feels like it’s been so long since I go out at night.

Jihoon smiles, his arms also resting on top of the fence as he looks at the river in front of him, reflecting the endless sky above it.

“The stars are really pretty tonight, don’t you think?” you say again, and Jihoon can tell at once that you’re holding back your tears.

Your brother looks up to the sky, following your gaze. “Yeah, maybe they know you’re going to see them tonight.”

“He told you, didn’t he?” you turn to him, a smile in your face though the tear falling down your face betrays you. “He must’ve told you I want to go stargazing again.”

Jihoon moves closer to you, letting you bury your face in his chest as your tears refuse to stop falling. “He said he wants you to see the stars again. I’ve never been one to listen to Kwon Soonyoung, but I can’t not do that when I know that’s what you want, can I?”

You cry harder at the mention of his name, your heart tightening at the fact that you can’t see him ever again. You want to wonder if you deserve this, if you want to live a life without his smile brightening your day. But you know Soonyoung wouldn’t allow you to think like that.

Your selfless lover wouldn’t want you to beat yourself up for his choice, but it’s hard not to do that when you’re basically the cause of his demise.

You haven’t even spent that much time together with him, probably a few months pass a year since the first time you welcomed him to your life. But he was ready to lay his life down for you already and that’s exactly what he did. He gave you another chance at life and you know you can’t let his wish go to waste by mourning for too long.

“Stay there if you’re still crying, okay?” Jihoon says, his chin on top of your head. You can hear his voice faltering, but you understand why. “He might be watching you up there and I’m sure your tears aren’t what he wants to see.”

You nod, letting your tears fall some more before finally calming down, head pounding a little from too much crying. You let your hair down, hiding your face until you’re sure there’s no more trace of tears in your face except for your puffy eyes.

As you walk back home with Jihoon next to you, you look up to the sky, printing them in your mind. They seem to shine brighter that you’ve ever seen before.

You’d like to believe it’s Soonyoung shining down on you, knowing how much you love him and the stars.

이른 햇살이 녹아내린다 The early sunlight melts down

너를 닮은 눈부심이 내린다  The brightness that resembles you falls down

길을 잃은 내 눈은 이제야 Cry cry cry My eyes that have lost its way finally cry cry cry

A/N: how are you guys!!!! pls tell me if i was just too generous with my tears for crying over this lol i enjoyed writing this, though, so I really really hope you enjoy this. your thoughts are much appreciated!

#seventeen angst #hoshi angst #seventeen scenarios #seventeen scenario #hoshi fluff #seventeen fluff #hoshi scenarios #hoshi scenario #kwon hoshi #hoshi #hoshi fic #seventeen x reader

[queercraftingchonk]

Shalibrations polyam chat~

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Who's active in chat? shalei_stan5ever, archangel, justShep

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shalei_stan5ever_Hey, so, I know we said we'd talk boundaries and wants and all that. Which is good! Important. But, ah...maybe we can just use a private chat for now?

archangel_seconded

justShep_alright, sure. :) assuming Liara keeps her promise that the Normandy crewmates' chats hosted on her encrypted servers aren't just feeding right into her SB inbox

archangel_hi Liara

shalei_stan5ever_keelah she better not! {(>_>)} i don't want other people to know about...this...until i've been wooed properly

archangel_plz don't ask me to go on a pretend blind date w/ u

justShep_hey!

shalei_stan5ever_a regular Bellicus, you are. But no, I don't want that. But it does feel kinda weird, that we jumped straight passed the whole dating part and right into relationship talk

justShep_i'm afraid Garrus and I aren't exactly the paragons of romance. We didn't exactly do the whole normal dating thing, either.

archangel_speak for yourself, Shepard. im a romance renegade < :-3

justShep_dumbass xD

shalei_stan5ever_why did I want this again?

archangel_my body???

justShep_sexual awakening? ;)

shalei_stan5ever_you two are. the. Worst.

archangel_u luv it < ;-3

justShep_we don't need to worry about labels right now. and i definitely want to take you out. do you want to plan it, or do you want to be surprised?

shalei_stan5ever_I might regret this--but surprise me. i can barely think straight as it is

justShep_course not, you're bi ;)

shalei_stan5ever_ {(>_<)}

archangel_i dont know if this is too soon, Tali, but, ah...how much research should i be doing on quarian suit seals and stuff?

justShep_good question! also: what are you comfortable with Tali?

shalei_stan5ever_oh...uh, wow, this question already huh. I'm, uh...hmm. you can do research if you want. the clean room VI you installed is pretty good. i...i can take care of myself.

justShep_what do you mean?

shalei_stan5ever_i mean that quarian envirosuits are very complex and i might prefer just taking it off myself

shalei_stan5ever_if it comes to that ever! at some point! Organically!

archangel_research helps me feel better

justShep_you *are* a pretty good researcher. even knew what a human clit was for our first time

archangel_SHEPARD

justShep_what? :P

shalei_stan5ever_is it uncommon for humans' partners to -not- know about your basic anatomy?

justShep_you'd be surprised the ignorance still in the 22nd century

shalei_stan5ever_oof. points to Garrus, then

archangel_i don't know what the points are for but i'm keeping score. how many?

shalei_stan5ever_...4

justShep_alright. here's another question: how do we all feel about spending time together? should dates always include all of us? is it okay for us to pair off sometimes? and should the other partner get a heads up about plans that don't include them?

shalei_stan5ever_i do NOT want to mess with what you and Garrus have. i don't mind if you go on dates by yourselves. i just want to hear how it goes {(^.^)}

justShep_can do. I think I'd prefer dates be all 3 of us for now, but eventually I...well, I figure I just enjoy when you two are happy. if going on a date makes you both happy, i wouldn't mind. i might get jealous if you didn't let me know beforehand tho. how do you feel, Garrus?

archangel_uh...i don't know. i just want us all to figure things out together for now.

justShep_alright. we can talk about things later if we like where everything is going. i suppose the first order of business is that date, huh?

shalei_stan5ever_maybe this weekend?

justShep_that could work. Samara is leaving on Friday. Mom is heading back out to help with the Horsehead Nebula relay.

shalei_stan5ever_Hannah will be happy to see Samara again

justShep_she said she isn't staying on the Orizaba tho. Councilor Irissa asked her to work with the STG to secure routes back to asari space and check on asari colonies.

shalei_stan5ever_that means she can see Falere again! i'm happy for

her

archangel_what about ur biotic training, Shepard?

justShep_Samara's given me the tools i need. i think. i'll keep training on my own.

archangel_ok. and Sat. should work. i guess we have some brainstorming to do, Shepard.

justShep_prepare for some soldier-grade wooing, Miss vas Normandy~

shalei_stan5ever_bosh'tets, the both of you <3

Excerpt from Ch.18: In the Name of the Huntress from How to Love a Biotic Goddess

#mass effect #mass effect fanfiction #how to love a biotic goddess #tali'zorah vas normandy #garrus vakarian #commander shepard #shakarian #shalibrations #mass effect text chat

[ap-sadistics]

im probs either alone in thinking this or everyone has thought of this, but i think kris might have an agenda of sorts... that theyre trying to Do something..... and i am part of the crowd who thinks that kris isnt evil. so whatever theyre doing by making the dark fountains isnt out of malice i think.... and i dont think kris 100% hates being controlled (minus. in weird route.) by you........ look at the tea stats..... kris heals 120hp with susie tea. why? because they like them and because these two became friends over the adventures of last chapter! but why? everything the happened in ch 1 was within your control. youre the one who became friends with susie. susie was a bully and at the beginning of the deltarune, these two were Not friends..... and yet kris ended up liking susie. which means they were there too. they also bonded with susie and they arent really being "suppressed" when you are directing their actions. people have already said this but its obvious kris has a personality that comes through the text.... i dont think they are a poor puppet. i think theyre having fun too in their adventures just as you are....

also if being controlled by the player sucks and they are perfectly capable of taking out their soul. why put their soul back in then? what if the times they ripped out their soul is bc they have to do something without you? what if its a fucked up reversal in which they are really manipulating You. bc they need you for reasons i dont know.... or they could simply just need their soul.... ....... is the heart inside kris kris's soul? or is it you? or is it both... you are kris's soul.... im just spitballing now...

but if it turns out that this is at least partially right and kris is letting you take the wheels by choice and they could eject you anytime they want, it would check out then....... its not that kris's choices doesnt matter because you are controlling them.... your choices that dont matter because its always been kris's choice in the first place

#im aware that this somewhat conflicts with weird route considering how the player does in fact just take over #but also consider: thats not how weird route ends. the rest of the chapter plays out exactly the same..... kris takes control again... #and i KNOW that i will probably be wrong but thats speculation babey! #jem's miscellany #deltarune spoilers

[kaeyas-beloved]

Wait wait so your thing says request are still close but where u wrote something for someone it said request open so hmm idk ;-;. But just in case there open how about I request a mother MC/father theo from ikemen vampire where theo takes care of there newborn baby for the day this is a weird request DONT kill me ;-;

Hey Anon! Sorry for the confusion and the long wait - and don’t worry, your request isn’t weird at all! But I may have strayed from the request just a teeny tiny bit though... for the most part I think I stuck to the original idea of Theo with his baby for a day. 

I hope you enjoy and you can always come back and request again if this wasn’t what you wanted :)

Warning(s): Teeny tiny spoilers for Theo’s route (if you know who Vollard is you’re fine!), One (1) Dutch swear word

~

A Newborn’s Smile {Theo x MC/Reader}

“Are you sure you’ll be alright Theo?” she asked her husband again, staring up into his calm ocean coloured orbs. Suppressing the urge to roll his eyes, Theo ruffles her hair with a playful smirk on his face.

“What? Think I can’t take care of our daughter?” 

“N-no, but-” she began, an anxious look in her eyes. While she may have full confidence that he can handle a day with their child, it’s still going to be the first full day that he’ll be left alone with her.

“Listen Hondje, you go with Sebas and when you get back you’ll see that everything will be the same as you left. Now, no more senseless worrying, it’ll be fine!”

Ten minutes later and everything was, in fact, not fine.

“Now what’s with all this noise?” Dazai rose a brow, having just entered via the mansion’s window, as per usual. Mozart, who rarely ever sat at the table, sighed, taking a sip of his black coffee.

“The girl left with Sebastian to run errands. Theo’s taking care of their baby...” Another ear piercing cry filled the room and they all winced. While the sound was deafening to the ears, the twinge of pain that filled Theo’s chest hurt more. The fact that his pride and joy was crying her little heart out and he wasn’t sure what to do had him completely lost.

‘How does Hondje do it?’

“Theo old boy, you should take a page out of your wife’s book right about now...” Arthur chuckled while rubbing at his temple, the writer only somewhat enjoying the sight of his friend struggling to take care of his kid.

“What do you mean?”

“He means it’s lunch time, she’s probably hungry” Napoleon piped up, emerging from the kitchen with a pre-made bottle in hand. Passing it to the Dutch art dealer, Theo began to feed his daughter, the baby quieting as she drank. Sighs of relief left everyone at the peace they got...

..which was short lived, the little girl beginning to cry once more. 

“Well, someone’s not a daddy’s girl~”

“Quiet klootzak!” the baby cried louder, “tch, I’m gonna go see Vincent, he was always good with kids...”

“Best of luck~” Tossing a final glare paired with a scowl at the Brit, the younger van Gogh made his way up to the painter’s room.

~

“Afternoon Broer, sorry for barging in while you were painting...” Prompted by the sound of his brother’s voice, Vincent set down the brush he held, wiping off as much paint from his hands as possible while smiling.

“It’s alright Theo, I was finishing up anyway! But,” he frowned a little, gazing down with a troubled look at his niece, “you seem to be having a bit of trouble...”

“Yeah.. she’s been crying ever since this morning. Hondje was able to make her stop for the time being but then she left with Sebas and, well...”  

“Mm... I see” Vincent hummed, trying to think of a way to help out his little brother.

“Ah! Why not show her the painting? Maybe if she sees it she’ll stop crying! It always worked when you were little!” 

The idea was pure, innocent. It quite frankly made Theo embarrassed and for a split second he doubted that it’d really work. But, he reminded himself, Vincent is more experienced with kids than he is - plus, it didn't hurt to try.

“Fine...” stepping up to the coloured canvas, Theo angled his arms so that the little girl could catch a glimpse of the masterpiece. For some time nothing came of it as she continued to wail and Theo sighed, about to throw in the towel, claim that it was pointless and he’d just have to wait until his wife got home.  

That was until the crying gradually got quieter and quieter before ceasing altogether. 

The brothers stared in astonishment, watching as eyes that resembled the colour of a stormy sea stared in wonder at the painting of a vast ocean. Chubby little hands started to try and reach out to the picture, the little limps desperate to explore the new discovery more. And along with the newfound curiosity was a happy baby grin, a real one at that, and not just one of the usual reflex smiles.

It was truly a sight for sore eyes, a masterpiece that out does any other that the art dealer has seen before. If he’d had the ability to paint like his brother, Theo would’ve captured this moment in a heartbeat.    

“Look Theo! She’s smiling! And she likes art just like you!” Vincent laughed joyfully, the smile contagious. At the same time the words spoken to him sparked Theo with an idea of his own.

“You’re a genius Broer! Dank je!”

“But I didn’t do anything- hey! Careful Theo!” Watching as his brother nearly raced out of his room, Vincent stared at the doorway, wondering what went through the other van Gogh’s mind to cause such a reaction.

~

Vollard’s is where he took her. If his little girl enjoyed his brother’s artwork surely she’d be over the moon with wonder at seeing the bright colours of other young artist’s work.

Turns out, he was right. 

Instead of the cries from this morning, squeals of delight and laughter filled the room. Thankfully, none of the people who were expressing their creativity cared, it was a small price to pay if they had the honor of seeing the renown art dealer in such an unguarded and calm state.

This was his element, art having been a large part of his life, and the fact that Theo got to experience something like this with his daughter (no matter how young she is) was nothing short of precious to him, a memory he’d treasure for as long as he lived.  

When every nook and cranny of the art studio was explored, Theo went around to other Paris museums, showcasing as much fine art as he could. While the reactions weren’t as lively towards the standard religious paintings, the look of wonder and awe that mirrors his own still remained. 

And as afternoon turned to evening, the streets bathed in an orange hue and his daughter having dozed off long ago, Theodorus van Gogh donned one of the softest smiles he’s had in either of his lives. While he gazed down at the sleeping girl the image of her smile from earlier in the day flashed through his mind. Oh how he wished his wife was there to witness it with him. 

Theo placed a light kiss to the child’s forehead.

“Rest well mijn schatje...” he whispered, silently promising that for as long as he can, Theo will make sure that his daughter continues to smile as brightly as she did today. Vowing that he’ll protect her happiness from the dangers of the world and doing anything to make sure that the joyful expression on her face stays a constant in all stages of her life.

~~~

*schatje can have the meaning of ‘little treasure’ (which is what I was going for in this)*

As of me posting this, requests are open [check my bio though to be sure]! Don’t forget to check the rules too for the fandoms/topics I write for (which are linked in my masterlist)!  

Masterlist

#ikevamp theo #ikemen vampire #theo x reader #ikevam x reader #ikevam fanfic #ikevamp #ikevamp theo x reader #ikemen vampire theo #ikevam theo #ikevam theo x reader #ikemen vampire theo x reader #ikemen vampire theodorus #ikevamp theodorus

[stones-x-bones]

It’s Only Love (Night 3) || Mina, Morgan and Bex

TIMING: Current (last night, continuation of this)  PARTIES: @drowningisinevitable, @mor-beck-more-problems, @inbextween SUMMARY: Home is where the heart is.  CONTENT:  Head injury, Medical blood (wound cleaning, stitches), Domestic abuse mentions

They hobbled along, back through the trees, staying close to the river. The sun traveled across the sky until it was dipping behind the trees. They took infrequent breaks, racing against time and the sun. They weren’t winning, but they weren’t losing either. Bex squinted ahead, exhausted and ready to collapse, when she saw something new. "Mina," she huffed, shaking her, "Mina it-- it's the trail! The trail! We made it!"

I’m not,” Mina wanted to say. I’m not. “I’m not.” But she leaned forward and nodded her head, and she had to trust that Bex wasn’t lying. She wasn’t lying. She wouldn’t lie to Mina. “I”m yours, too. I am.” She was. If nothing else, she was Bex’s. If that was all she could be, then that’s what she would be. That was why it hurt so much when she left. That was why Mina was struggling so much with herself lately. “I don’t always get hurt. I don’t, really. It’s just-- It’s just a casualty of the job. It is the job.” But there wasn’t really much to say as they stumbled through the forest. Mina was desperate for them to get out of there before the sun set. There was no way she’d be able to defend both of them if night came while they were still in the forest. Mina knew what lurked in the shadows. She was in no condition to take it on. But there was the trail, and Mina could have cried in relief if she wasn’t so exhausted, if she didn’t feel like she was going to fall over from pain. “Maybe the fates are real,” she muttered. “We need-- we have to find a phone, or a person, or something. Anything.” 

Bex refrained from telling Mina she hated her job. And from telling her that she wished she wouldn’t do it. But it was what Mina wanted, and so she would support her. There wasn’t much of any other choice. And that was fine. Bex was okay with worrying herself over Mina every day as long as she came home safe. Everything else could be figured out later. The trail opened up and sloped down and there, a way station. Dingy and broken down, which meant they were near the Gallows. She looked at herself, at Mina, then to a spot nearby. “Here, wait here,” she said, hobbling her over and bracing against the tree, “you’re...a little too not dressed to be going into public. I’ll--” she glanced over her shoulder at the station, “I’ll go see if they have a phone I can use. I’ll be right back, okay?” And she wanted to say that this would be the last time she’d leave her, but it wasn’t. It was the last time they’d be alone together for a while, though, wasn’t it? She turned back quickly, unable to help herself, and kissed Mina, a promise that she’d be back. “Okay...I’ll…” She pointed towards the building, before zipping up the old jacket she’d put on and straightening out her torn skirt as much as possible. 

She hobbled down the hill, taking each step slowly, until she made it to the way station. It looked like there was a ranger office inside, too. Surely they’d let her use a phone for free, right? She opened the door slowly and peered in. “Hello?” No answer. But there, on the desk-- a phone. She raced over to it and picked it up, praying to hear the dial tone. “Yes.” Finally, things were working out. She jabbed Morgan’s number as fast as possible and breathed against the phone. “Please pick up, please pick up, please pick up.” Foot tapping anxiously. She wanted to get back to Mina as soon as possible. She wanted to get out of here before someone came back.

Morgan didn’t like unfamiliar numbers flashing on her screen any more than she did unexpected knocks on the door or strange cars by the driveway. But as with these other things, she knew that they could seldom, if ever, be avoided without consequence. She picked up, bracing for impact. “Hello…?”

Leaning against the tree, Mina managed to hum and say, “Yep, yes, no clothes, kind of scaly, really not interested in going in public. I’m-- I’ll just stay here. Right here.” She slumped against the tree, sinking a little further down until she was resting on the roots. She put her hand against her side. It came back sticky, wet. That wasn’t good. It had been quite some time since they’d been in the water. Stay awake. Stay awake. She glanced in the direction that Bex had disappeared to, still feeling the kiss linger on her cheek. She hoped someone came soon. They both really needed someone to come soon.

“Oh thank god,” Bex gave an audible sigh of relief, even through an old landline phone. “Morgan! It’s-- it’s Bex! It’s-- you can probably tell that by my voice. I-- sorry I’m calling you on a weird number. I-- we-- need your help. Mina--” she was babbling, with joy, with relief, she hardly noticed she was crying, her voice pitching through the tears, “Frank attacked her in-- in the forest. He-- that's not important, actually. Not right now. We need-- she’s really hurt. Can you come pick us up? I dont-- we can’t make it back to town. We’ve been walking for hours and she needs water and medical attention and I can’t help her anymore, I tried, I did my best, but I-- she needs--” She drew in a breath, holding it. She needed to relax. “Please, we need you.”

“Bex.” It was the last voice Morgan had expected. She was too stunned to cut in and tell the girl to slow down, take a breath, take a beat, think a little, it would be okay. But she caught Mina’s name and the part where they were in bad enough shape that they couldn’t get back on their own. “Bex, honey, I need you to tell me where you are. I will come, I will make it as alright as I can, but I need to know where you are. Can you take a breath and tell me?”

“Right, fuck, right-- we--” Bex started, stopped. She didn’t actually know. Somewhere in the Gallows. “H-hold on.” She fumbled the phone, trying to set it down gently but it clattered to the desk as she stumbled over to the map on the wall. “Five Point Ranger Station. Just behind Candelton. Five Point Ranger Station, just beyond Candleton,” she repeated it to herself as she made her way back over to the phone, picking it up as she slid to the ground, her legs suddenly nothing but jello. “Five-- Five Point Ranger S-station,” she managed to squeak out, “Just beyond Candleton cemetery. There-- there’s a b-back road, behind it. Leads right to it. To us. Pease-- please hurry.” She didn’t wait for the confirmation before she set the phone back on the receiver. She needed to go back and get Mina. Groaning, she lifted herself back up and glanced around. There was a walking pole by the entrance and she grabbed it, hurrying back up to Mina. 

“Mina?” She collapsed just in front of her. “Mina, I’m back. Morgan is-- Morgan’s on her way. But we have to get down there, to the r-road.” She held out the pole. “I found this, it might help. The hill is gonna--” her eyes wandered to it, then to Mina’s leg, “--or I can carry you. I might have-- maybe have enough magic left to-to carry you.”

Stopping was always a bad idea. Mina stood by this as something that was a fact. Leaned against a tree, wounds aching, hurting, burning all over again with no water to soothe them, she didn’t think that stopping had been a good idea at all. She should have gone with Bex, lack of proper attire and inhuman appearance be damned. She also didn’t want to move, and that wasn’t good. That wasn’t good at all. She looked up as Bex came back to her, spots in her vision, but she blinked them away. “I can walk. I just need a little help getting up. Don’t use any more of your magic. Please.” She fought to stand, hands pressed behind her against the tree bark, but she managed. She felt like hell. They needed to get to help.

Morgan’s world narrowed to the size of a list and the route her phone was coaching her through. She’d grabbed everything she could think of and reach within two minutes, thrown it all in the Subaru and started driving. Water and towels. First aid tub. Water for drinking. Jackets from each girl’s room. Whatever had been on the fridge shelf when she swiped her arm over it and dumped its contents into a plastic Hannaford bag. Battery pack. She’d weathered enough disasters to cover the basics. She must have. She must have because if anything could give her miserable little mortal life meaning, it would be doing enough that the two girls she loved did not die. 

Morgan pulled up to the building and got out, not even bothering to close the door or to check her appearance in the mirrors. She marched into the road in the tank top and shorts she’d been wearing when she’d picked up the phone, her dark fingers, flaking skin, and decomp-purple coloring on full display. It didn’t exist to her. “Bex!” She called.

Bex would’ve argued that she had plenty of magic, it was energy she was running low on. But they didn’t really have time to argue, not anymore. The sun had disappeared behind the trees and the shadows were growing longer around them, reaching for them like hands that wanted to pull them back into the dark world, where life and death were too close together. Bex helped Mina stand and wrapped her arm around her again, using her other hand to steady herself with the pole instead. They trudged down the hill, slowly, making sure not to slip or stumble or fall-- that would’ve been rather disastrous. But they made it, and there was still no sign of life at the ranger station, so Bex pried the door open again and deposited Mina inside on a chair. “I’m--” she glanced back around, “I’m gonna go look for Morgan. I’ll be--” right back. As always. She didn’t finish her sentence before she scurried back outside. 

The last bits of sunlight had all but disappeared when Bex saw the headlights coming up through the trees. Morgan was flinging herself out of the car and Bex did her best to throw the door open again and scramble into the road. “Morgan!” she called out, tripping on herself, on weak legs that felt broken and raw, a weak voice that quivered through a fever and a concussion. “Over here!” She ran to her as best she could, grabbing her hand and pulling her towards the Ranger station. “Mina’s i-inside. I can’t-- I’m not strong enough. She’s not strong enough to walk anymore.” 

Every step felt worse than the last, but Mina continued to push on, using Bex for help as she went. It felt like it was taking too long; she was scared they’d be stuck out in the dark before Morgan got there. But Bex managed to help her into the building, and Mina sat heavily in the chair. She waited. She tried very hard not to pass out. She waited. When the door opened again, Mina looked up with bleary eyes as two figures walked in. She almost passed out from relief. It was okay. They were going to be okay. Mina didn’t pass out though, just hung her head and raised a hand. “Hi.” She didn’t really have the strength for a less lackluster greeting.

I’ve been through enough, I will do enough, I know what I’m doing, I know this, I know this. Morgan’s brain circled around the same few thoughts as she came into the building and laid eyes on Mina. She gave Bex’s hand a squeeze as she released herself and came for the other girl. Mina, stupid, reckless, self-destructive Mina with and infected mess on her side, wounds in each leg, and a burn on her face that had barely healed at all. Morgan made a mental note of the damage, prioritizing, puzzling together what she wanted to do now and what would have to wait til they were home in the pool. 

“‘Hi’ is not gonna cover it,” she deadpanned. “But hi to you too, honey.” She bent and lifted Mina into her arms with ease and started heading back to the car. “Bex, no time to be a martyr, be honest: are you good to walk or are you hopping on like a spider monkey? I don’t care, I’m not bothered, I just need to know.”

Bex had almost gotten used to Mina looking on the verge of death, but when she looked at her in the dim light of the building, really looked at her, she found herself freezing up with pain. With sorrow. What she wouldn’t give to have been a healer, to have had magic that could’ve actually helped, or saved her, or gotten rid of the multitude of injuries that were now causing her pain. She wiped furiously at her face. “I’m-- I can walk,” she stated. Morgan needed to focus solely on Mina, they could see to Bex when they were back at the house and Mina was safe and in water and taken care of. “I can walk,” she reassured, standing and heading to the door, yanking it open and holding it. “We should go, quickly,” she stated, eyes both glued to Mina and wanting to look away. Just a little longer, she told herself, she just needed to be brave a little longer.

“Hey,” Mina said, followed by, “Ow.” As Morgan lifted her up like she weighed nothing. Really, to a zombie, she did weigh nothing. Her weight, her injuries, all of it was nothing. She gripped onto Morgan’s shoulder tightly, though, trying not to make any noise against the pain of it all. Stay awake. Stay awake. Stay awake. She had to stay awake. She couldn’t go to sleep. She might not wake up. She didn’t know. She couldn’t possibly know. “I don’t think some things are going to heal right,” she said quietly as they made it to the car. “Cold iron. It… hurts. A lot more than I want to say.” She looked at Bex, saw the worry in her eyes, the fear. It was fine. They were fine. They were safe. 

“You would be surprised what Deirdre has healed from,” Morgan said, shifting her in her arms to open the back seat and lay her down. “And you’ve never had fae healthcare before. So let’s put all of that into the ‘maybe’ category and see what happens.” She pressed a kiss to her head, then knelt over her supplies and got to work: burn salve, disinfectant, cotton pads, and soaking towels. She lifted her gaze to Mina and saw the glaze forming over her eyes and the exhaustion she was so desperately fighting. “Hey, Mina? Some of this is gonna sting, but it’ll hold you together til we get to the pool. While I’m working, why don’t you tell me what Bex’s status is, health-wise. Then tell me what you think she needs. Think you can focus enough to do that?”

Bex didn’t make it all the way to the car, but that was fine. There was an old lawn chair sitting out by the curb, close enough, that she sunk into. She wanted to go over, she wanted to help, but her body was exhausted and it fought against her, even as she tried to stand up again. She’d let Morgan take care of Mina without getting in the way. Bex would only get in the way, now, if she tried to help, with her own trembling hands and grievous headache. She laid her head back and closed her eyes, just for a moment. Just for a moment. She could hear Morgan’s soothing voice floating over from the car, and Mina’s trembling, pained one. She wanted to hug Morgan. She could wait until she was done tending to Mina. Something looked off about her, about Morgan, but in the dim light and through hazy eyes, Bex couldn’t put her finger on it. Finally, she lifted herself from the bench, deciding she’d gathered enough energy, and started the long, maybe twenty foot trek, over towards the car. It felt like it was a smile away. “Is she going to be okay?” Bex called halfway over. “Is she-- did we make it in time?”

“It’s just disinfectant. It’s not going to hurt that bad,” Mina said. Really, compared to some of the things that she’d done to heal herself over the years, disinfectant was nothing. Mina closed her eyes and sat as still as possible. “She’s got a concussion. She was also stabbed, though its older than mine. The sutures have come undone, though, and infection has set in. She was running a fever most of the day yesterday. She used up too much magic. She hasn’t eaten in three days, and the amount of water consumed hasn’t been nearly enough, especially given the fever.” Mina gave the list of ailments as methodical as possible, focusing on remembering what she could while Morgan worked. “She needs stitches, antibiotics, water, food, rest. To not go back to her parents. Somewhere safe. To go home.” Mina opened her eyes again, looking at Morgan. “I— I want to come home. Please.”

Morgan made a note of Mina’s list and her treatment plan. She had some stuff on hand, but no home made patch job was going to replace good ol’ antibiotics. But maybe she could improve a little, enough to survive whatever came next for her. She finished what she could for Mina by the time the girl finished and moved her hand to hold the still-water-soaked towel in place over her body. “It’s your home as long as you want it to be,” she murmured. “That means you never have to ask, Mina. I’m--it’s yours. It just is. It’s there. Whether you want it or use it or not.” She gave Mina a soft look, blinking back tears, and narrowed her focus again. She searched the grocery bag and pulled out a thing of leftover fried rice and put it into Mina’s other hand. “If Bex hasn’t eaten in a while, you haven’t either. I don’t care if you spill, just try to get something in you. You’re not gonna heal any faster if you’re malnourished.”

She plopped the bag in the slightly emptied tub and marched to the front passenger seat. Time for Bex. She set her things down, pushed the girl into the seat. “I’m not a fae expert, sweetheart, but I’m really good at breaking traffic laws when I want to, and there’s a fae clinic not far that we can get her to if things don’t look better in the morning, and I’ve patched her up as best I know how. But, the sooner we get home, the better, and since I’m not leaving until we’ve got you a little more stable, the best thing you can do is not fight me on it.” She gave her a look to show how set she was on this and started rifling around. “Take this water bottle, and this Tylenol, and show me where your infected injury is.”

“Fae clinic?” Bex asked, blinking. She didn’t even realize Morgan had pulled her into the front seat and sat her down until a water bottle and some meds were handed to her. She obliged without a word. If it got Mina home safe faster, she’d do whatever it took. She glanced over the seat and into the back, eyes traveling over Mina as if expecting to see her somehow still bleeding out in the back. But Morgan’s patch job was better than anything Bex had done, thanks to the copious amount of medical supplies she had. Bex nearly smiled at her. “Much better than gauze and old blankets,” she said to Mina, before turning to focus on Morgan again, who was rifling around in the bag. Bex set the water bottle down and unzipped the jacket, tugging it off with great effort. Without a shirt on, the multitude of bruises her parents left on her were evident under the scrutinizing car overhead light, but she turned herself enough to give Morgan access to the stab wound Frank had left on her, torn stitches black and bloody. “It’s just that one,” she said quietly. The burns from her magic exertion couldn’t be seen to, so they didn’t matter. She’d deal with them later. 

“I thought I should ask. I felt like I should ask. I was stupid to leave, I wish I hadn’t, I’m sorry I did.” And Mina might have kept babbling, might have gone on and on and on, but there was food in her hand, and she stared at it for a little longer than she should have trying to figure out what to do with it before she realized that Morgan wanted her to eat. Mina didn’t want to eat. The thought made her nauseated. But she opened up the container any way and picked at what was inside. She looked back up to the front seat, making eye contact with Bex. She gave her a tired smile, but her tongue felt heavy and so did her eyes and she still couldn’t sleep, not yet. So she watched the front seat and made sure everything looked like she expected it to, and she tried not to spill any of the rice, despite Morgan saying it was okay. She almost felt like she could genuinely relax for the first time in… awhile. It was overwhelming. 

Morgan let out a deep sigh. Even ignoring Bex’s bruises, painfully difficult but not impossible after all the practice she had with Deirdre, Bex’s wound was definitely...a lot. “Okay. Disinfectant first, then I’m gonna take those out and try to do one better so you’re not leaking out of yourself.” She started working swiftly, trying to keep her world small and not think of other, terrible injuries she’d seen and how much more fragile, more human Bex was. “And yeah, fae clinic. They’re not a fan of me, but they take care of their own, which is all I really care about. So, Mina’s got lots of really great options. But--” She took another breath as she soaked another pad and did another pass at Bex’s wound. “That’s not important right now. Right now, I need you to take this--” She reached down for an ice pack and gave it a good crack to activate. “On your head wherever it hurts. And maybe this could be a good time to practice clearing your mind and giving your brain a rest while I finish up. You’ve done a lot of really good thinking, and you’ve got everyone this far, but your brain really needs you to take it easy so it can heal. So you can keep helping Mina later on. Okay?”

Bex was more curious about this fae clinic than she supposed she should’ve been. She winced as Morgan started prodding at her wound, pulling the old stitches out. She wasn’t as strong as Mina, despite being used to the pain, and she let out a short whimper, before she bit the inside of her cheek to quiet herself. She nodded and took the ice pack, pressing it against the large bruise on the side of her face. “N-now? You’re going to do more stitches now?” She didn’t have too much room to complain. She looked back at Mina once more, who was barely holding onto consciousness, and resigned. “I’m-- I don’t think I could, if I tried,” she admitted quietly. She was too worried, too afraid, too full of fear and anxiety. Even if Morgan was here and she knew they were safe-- they were safe because Morgan would never let anything bad happen to either of them, she would never let them die, not in her care-- she couldn’t shake the feeling of panic that had gripped her heart the moment she’d seen that text and ran off into the forest. Frank was still out there. Her mother was waiting for her back home. She’d said things to Mina she couldn’t keep. “He’s still out there,” she said, quieter, “Frank. He…” She wanted to go home, too. Just for a night. Just to make sure Mina made it through the night. “He’s going to try again.”

Morgan had everything ready but Bex was tense and trembling and whimpering and her world simply would not stay small while that was happening. She leaned over into Bex’s view and touched her hand gently to her face. “Hey. Look at me. You are safe, Bex. Right now you are so safe. And even though there is going to be some pain and discomfort while I work, I am not going to hurt you. No one is, not right now. You did so good, getting me here and taking care of Mina and yourself. You did amazing. But now the thing you need to do is stop and put down Frank and your parents anything else you’re carrying in your head right now. Close your eyes, breathe how I taught you, and put it down. And--it’s okay, if you need to cry out some.” She brushed her finger over the little dent in Bex’s cheek where she was biting. “Breathe and put it all down, sweetheart. As much as you can. That is the best and smartest and bravest thing you can try to do right now. And I’ll try to make it so it doesn’t hurt for long, okay?” She gave her as much of a smile as she could and went to work.

Bex blinked and Morgan was in her view, she was the only thing in her view. The more she talked, the more the world behind her head fell away. The cabin, the trees, the quiet, somber sky that was once again fading to dark. She released her bite on her cheek and drew in a deep, shuddering breath. Just like Morgan had taught her. In for three. Hold. Out for five. Her body began to relax, even as it trembled uncontrollably. Weak muscles and tired bones and a fever fighting to take control. She swallowed and nodded and tried to push away the thoughts of her parents and Frank and what they’d just been through. Did Morgan even know? Did anyone? How long had they been gone? Days. Three days. This was the third night. “I was so scared,” she finally admitted, her voice small. Morgan was safe. She hoped Mina didn’t hear. “I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know she was--” a nix. That she’d needed water. “I found water as fast as I could. But I was afraid-- I was afraid I didn’t make it in time.” Heavy, ugly tears streaked down her face and stuck to the ice pack. She didn’t make a noise of it, though. “I can’t lose her,” she added on, somehow even quieter. Her eyes went up to Morgan’s. “I can’t lose you.”

“It’s okay you were scared, anyone would be scared,” Morgan whispered, her eyes fixed on Bex’s injury. “That must have been so much. But you are so strong, so incredible, you didn’t let it stop you from helping. That’s what matters. The thing isn’t to stop being afraid, it’s to stop letting your fear control you. And you did it, my love. Okay? You did everything right.” Her eyes slid up to Bex’s just for a moment. I can’t lose you. It didn’t make any sense to Morgan and she was too preoccupied to hide her confusion. She hadn’t gone anywhere or done anything. She knew when she let the rest of her feelings find her, she was going to be desperately relieved that she had made amends enough to be allowed this close and help this much. How could she be lost if she’d just been here, begging Bex to come back?

She finished and put a good sized bandage over the thing, then she reached for one of Bex’s old jackets and a pyrex of fruit salad and leaned back into her view. “All done,” she beamed. “Sit up and put this on instead of whatever you were wearing and try to eat a little.” She brushed the girl’s matted hair back and wiped the tears from her cheeks. “You’re safe now,” she repeated, whispering even quieter than before, now that she was close. “I’m going to put everything in the trunk, except for this--” She hefted the grocery bag and set it by Bex’s feet. “And I’m gonna drive us home, and we’re gonna be one heck of a surprise for Deirdre, and we’re gonna be okay. Alright?”

Had Mina been afraid? Bex wasn’t sure. She remembered Mina pleading her to leave her in the clearing, held down by that trap, because Frank was going to come back. He was going to kill them both. She remembered the look on Mina’s face when she’d finally woken up on the couch and watched Bex move around the cabin, trying her damndest to keep them alive. Had they both just been afraid for each other? Her gaze drew back to Morgan as she was handed more things. You did everything right. She didn’t feel like she’d done anything right. She hadn’t known Mina needed water to heal, she hadn’t known any of it. She’d gotten there and just done whatever needed to be done. She’d almost given up so many times, but the thought of letting Mina die had pulled on her weary, exhausted muscles and made her move more, further, just keep going. She let out a long breath and pulled on the warm hoodie Morgan had brought her. It felt soft and cozy and familiar. It even smelled like Morgan’s house. She wrapped her arms around herself and let some of her tears dry up on the neck of the jacket. 

Morgan set something  by her feet, and she was trying to smile and be light, and Bex looked up at her. “Can I hug you?” was all she asked. She wanted to hug Morgan. She wanted to not just be told she was safe, but also feel safe. And without question, she knew it would feel that way in Morgan’s embrace. 

“O-of course,” Morgan replied, suddenly struggling to keep her voice even. “Anytime.” And without any further hesitation she drew Bex into her arms and held her close. The word grew and Morgan ached with how much she missed the girl and how desperately she wanted things to be better. Her insides were melting, the only way she could clear her vision was to let some of her building tears fall, and stars above, she still had to drive. She swallowed, shoving down the lump that had formed in her throat. “I mean it. I love you, sweetheart.”

Bex grabbed onto Morgan and held so tightly she was worried, at first, that she might hurt her. But then she remembered Morgan was a zombie, that she couldn’t feel as well, and she held on tighter, burying her face into Morgan’s shoulder as she let herself cry a little more. Finally, something steady and solid and grounding. There was no more cramped cabin or rain or worry, no more threat of being found and killed, no more anxiety about whether she’d fall asleep and wake up next to a dead body. Finally, she could rest. “I love you, too,” she said into her shirt, through thick tears, and a strained voice. And she meant it, just as much as she had meant it when she’d said it to Mina, however long ago. And she was sorry, so sorry, it had taken her this long to realize it. That she’d had to destroy everything before realizing maybe love mattered more. She drew in another breath and tried to blink away some of the tears. “I have to go back to them,” she said quietly, so quietly. It sounded painful, as if she were saying it through a mouthful of blood. “I can’t come home yet.”

For a while, Morgan didn’t say anything. She had thought and hoped that she still mattered to Bex as much as before, but it was different, hearing her say it while held safe like the little girl she’d never gotten to be. After all this time, right when things were only going to get worse for her. “I know,” Morgan said into the girl’s hair. It hid some of the defeat in her voice, but not much. “I know. All of it. You can call a car from the house, or I can try to get you to the ferry before it closes. But we have to get Mina to the pool first. That’s not me wanting to keep you safe. She needs freshwater as soon as possible. We can figure you out after that.” She blinked her eyes clear and pulled on the hope in her soul to summon a smile before pulling back to wipe Bex’s face.

“I…” Bex started. It was a bad idea, she knew it was a bad idea, but her parents had no idea where she was, and what was one more night, anyway? She’d been making bad decisions all weekend. “I want to stay with Mina tonight.” Mina was all that mattered to her right now. Getting Mina home and to her pool, where the water she had bonded with, the house they called home, would heal her right. She could sleep in the water and Bex could know that she was safe and taken care of. She still wanted to stay with her, next to her, if she could. She would sleep on the hard ground next to the pool if Morgan would let her, but she knew she wouldn’t. “Just one night.” She just wanted one night away from that house, that place, one night that wasn’t a fight for her life or Mina’s. Just a safe space, to fall asleep and dream and not have to wake up to unending pain. 

Morgan’s brow furrowed. She hadn’t expected that, and she wasn’t sure if she was supposed to be thrilled or worried. She couldn’t deny that a night’s rest would help Bex stand a better chance against her mother, and few things in the world made her happier than the thought of Bex tucked safely under her roof and learning to smile again. That was it, wasn’t it? She had to take a night of this, and somehow let it go in the morning, knowing exactly what would happen. And now Morgan did remember what had become of her body, all her rot and necrosis pressed against Bex. She drew away slowly and shouldered into the jacket she’d originally brought for Mina, before Bex took notice. “If that’s what you really want, then that’s what we’ll do,” she said softly. She picked up everything from the ground and loaded the trunk and came around to the front seat, igniting the car to life. But she took another moment to breathe for herself. It was about to be one heck of a drive.

Bex wasn’t sure that was something she could ask for, but she’d asked anyway. She wasn’t sure she could actually walk through that house and sleep in her bed, in her room, and get up the next day and leave. She sat back in the seat, before turning once again to look back at Mina as Morgan made her way around the car. Was she asleep finally? She couldn’t tell. She hoped so. She needed to sleep. Bex looked across the seats to Morgan as she slid into the car and started it up. She felt oddly out of place, yet perfectly in the right spot. Morgan and Mina were her home, and no matter where she was, wherever they were, would feel as such. Even in a car, in the middle of a forest, full of blood and nightmares, and an iron knife that shared their pain. “I don’t think they know,” she said, settling back into the seat, looking down at the food container she’d forgotten Morgan had handed her. She pried it open and pulled out a piece of cantaloupe.. “What happened. Where...I am.” She didn’t think her mother knew what Frank had done, and she wondered who might be punished worse, once all the dust settled. “We were gone three days,” she went on quietly, her eyes drooping. She was growing tired as well, “this would’ve been the third night.”

There was conversation coming from the front of the car that Mina could only somewhat make out as her body decided that the best course of action, at least for the time being, was to not move at all. To shut down. So Mina let the voices fade into background noise. They’d made it. They were safe, or as safe as they could be. She didn’t feel like she had to run, not at the moment. She didn’t think she could, really. All she could think about was not passing out. She didn’t want to pass out. She couldn’t pass out. Mina tried to listen, tried to hear the conversation, but their voices were low, and she was steadily losing consciousness. She could pass out, if she needed to. She didn’t want to, but she could. She wasn’t going to, but she could. That was Mina’s line of thought as she set down the food, only a few bites taken from it, and slowly curled in on herself, moving to protect her side. She was safe. Two of her favorite people were with her, and maybe it wasn’t going to last, but she was safe. She blinked, not really seeing much in the semi-darkness of the car, and watched the front seat, making out the shapes and shadows of Bex and Morgan. As long as they were there, as long as they were okay, it was alright. She could close her eyes for a moment. She’d open them again when they made it home. 

Morgan drove as fast as she could, barreling through downtown and up to the East End. She punched a button on her keys and the lights in the driveway came on, harsh and bright after all their fumbling in the nothing-light of dusk. She took a second to gather herself again, knowing she had to let go of her jacket to take care of Mina,that as strange and wrong-looking she seemed to herself, it sealed the guarantee that she could carry the girls anywhere tonight, that Odell was watching them and any good feeling that came out of this wasn’t anything to keep, that sometimes you didn’t need a curse to keep on suffering. “I’ve got this. Wait here, okay?” She mumbled, sliding out the car and dumping Mina’s old jacket in her seat. With any luck, Bex was asleep and wouldn’t know anything until she was safe inside. 

Something was wrong with Morgan, but Bex didn’t want to ask. Some part of her knew, didn’t it? The rest of the drive was silent and Bex turned to check on Mina in the back several times, doing her best not to tug on the new stitches in her side as she did. She wished she were back there with her, holding her, but it was best for both of them she was up front. Finally, they pulled up to the house and Bex stayed still for a long time, not even unbuckling, as she stared at the front door. The bright porch light illuminated it and the front of the house, and she didn’t even swivel her head when Morgan spoke up again and slid out of the car to grab Mina. It was only once they were off inside that Bex unbuckled herself and got out of the car, limping over to the lawn, to the porch, and stared up at the front door. At the spot where she’d last been before she’d betrayed both of them and walked down the lawn into her mother’s arms. Her gaze followed the path she’d taken and stuck on the spot in the street where the car had been. She wondered if she knew yet, now that Bex was in town. She wondered how wide her mother’s net really was.

Mina was aware of being carried. That was the first thing that came back to her. “I’m awake,” she muttered, eyes still closed as she leaned her head against Morgan’s shoulder. “I’m awake.” She was awake enough. “I can’t walk right now, which… I want to say that I can, but I can’t.” Her tongue felt even looser than it had in the haze of half-sleep and achiness that was settling over her body. She wanted to walk. She wanted to prove that she could walk, that she didn’t need assistance. But she couldn’t walk, and she needed help, desperately, and it was almost a relief to know that Morgan wasn’t going to let her go. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m sorry I left you. I’m sorry I haven’t been around. I’m sorry you keep having to come get me like this. I’m sorry I didn’t protect her. I’m sorry she still got hurt. I-- I’m just sorry.” 

“Shh,” Morgan soothed, walking faster toward the pool. “That doesn’t matter right now. If you want to be sorry, you have to live long enough to do something about it. So, live first; sorry later.” Then she was wading through the reeds and water flowers they had lined the steps with and cursing the way water made the world turn slow. No running. No plunging. Only a slow descent to the bottom of the pool, Mina still cradled in her arms. 

It had been a while since she had spent time down here, even longer since she’d done it in the dark. Around her, stems floated by like wraiths, the water that pressed on them stretched before her eyes  as if it were infinite. Morgan wanted to ask if Mina was okay, if anything felt better yet, if she wanted to be alone or if she wanted Morgan to stay. But at this hour, from this deep, they were in a dark neither the stars nor the warm lights of the house could not penetrate. So, when her worry for Bex started to grate on her insides, she gave Mina a squeeze and kissed her head and climbed up to the surface. 

“Bex—?” She called. 

Bex needed to go inside, she knew she did, but instead, she sank to a sit on the porch. She wanted to go inside and make sure Mina was okay, make sure Morgan was, make sure she was, but instead all she could do was stare out across the lawn into the darkness of night and watch the lights of the houses around the neighborhood flick on and off. She could just wait here. She didn’t want to go inside without Morgan, she wasn’t sure she could. Mina was home now, but was she? Could she be? Would her mother come for her in the morning again? A voice called out to her. “Here,” she said quietly, then, louder, “I-I’m over here.” They’d lived through all of that, and for what? For Bex to simply go back to her parents’ and fade into oblivion once again? Her eyes turned to a figure moving towards her, her vision dull and blurry from exhaustion. No, she decided. No. She would not fade. 

It had been weeks since Mina felt like she was home. It had been weeks since she was home, since she’d felt comfort and peace and the relief that came with knowing she was going to be somewhere and find rest. Actual, proper rest, not just sleep that had been gleaned for a few measly hours face down in a pond in the middle of the woods. Actual rest. She stayed at the bottom of the pool for a few minutes when Morgan left, gills filtering in air as she curled in on herself. She was still in pain, but it wasn’t as bad. It was faded, dull around the edges, and she wasn’t worried about that. It was like the dulled pain that came from medicine. It was a kindness. Finally, she kicked up to the surface and swam over to the edge, resting against it as she listened for Morgan or Bex to come back or go inside.

Morgan walked, drenched, over to where Bex sat, ready to pick her up next when she remembered she was corpse cold and soaking wet and the last thing Bex needed was to roll the dice with pneumonia. Swearing under her breath, she went back to the car and dried herself off with Mina’s jacket, and swore again when she realized that left her with nothing to cover up with. She gathered everything in the backseat into her arms and hauled it as far as the front stoop before sinking next to Bex. 

“I felt her, before I climbed out,” she said. “I think she’s gonna be okay.” That’s what she hoped at least. “So, talk to me about you.”

Bex watched Morgan stop at the car before making her way over to the porch. She looked down at the things deposited on the ground in front of them, then over to Morgan. In the bright light of the porch, it was clear, now, that her skin was paler, her eyes were sunken. She looked how she supposed Mina felt. Half dead. Maybe more. “That’s my fault, isn’t it?” she asked, reaching out and placing her hand on Morgan’s wet arm. “Because my mom…” What was there to tell of herself? All the days blended into one. “I’ll be fine. I wasn’t the one attacked.” She knew she mattered, too, to Morgan, to Mina, but she didn’t care about herself right now. She wanted to go inside, but her feet stuck to the ground. “I’m just tired. Is she-- is she asleep?”

For the first time, Morgan shied away from Bex’s touch. There wasn’t any talking around it; she was lucky Bex had been too stressed not to realize Morgan was at least three different not-alive colors before now. “It’s not as bad as it looks,” she mumbled. “And since you aren’t responsible for your mother’s actions, I’m pretty sure all this--” she gestured, flippant and bitter, “Is strictly a me and Odell thing. You didn’t do anything.” It took her longer than it might have a month ago, but Morgan found the strong part of herself she wanted somewhere at the bottom of her soul and pulled a kind smile and looked back at the girl. “Not sure if she’s asleep, but she is definitely resting, which is what you need to do too. I know I’m all--”Gross, extra-zombie. “But do you think you can sling your arms around me so I can carry you instead of making two trips. You need your rest too, even more than Mina.”

Bex pulled her hand away. “Sorry…” She didn’t know what it was like, to feel the way Morgan did, decaying, slowly, as she was being starved, but she hadn’t expected her to pull away. She folded her hand back into her lap. “That’s kinda why...it’s my fault, isn’t it?” she glanced over at Morgan. “I didn’t do anything.” She should’ve done something. She wished she had the courage to stand up to her mother. She scared her more than Frank and a knife, or a thunderstorm in the middle of a forest. Morgan was being Morgan, though, even in the face of her situation, and maybe, if she could be brave, so could Bex. “Can I sit with her?” she asked, scooting a little closer as she wrapped her arms around Morgan’s shoulders for support. “Just for a little bit.” 

Morgan hefted her small mountain of supplies in one arm and scooped Bex against her hip with the other. She just managed to balance everything long enough to fish out her keys and get them inside. “Not until you’ve showered and changed into something clean,” she said. “And I’m sorry about--” She looked down at her hands as she set the girl down. “I just don’t like being this way. I’m trying to feel better about how it looks, but it’s hard when I know it means I’m more dangerous and easier for hunters to spot. I don’t mind being close to you.” She pulled her into another hug. “You are always wonderful to be close to. And maybe you haven’t found your moment for digging up whatever their weakness is yet, but you haven’t done anything that needs to be punished.”

Bex leaned against Morgan and realized how much her body was sagging, glad to have support. She wanted to reach out and help Morgan carry the supplies, but her arms didn’t move when she asked them to, staying limply by her side. It was purple and bruised where she’d landed on her wrist. She’d forgotten about it. “I can’t go up there,” she said, looking down the hall towards the stairs that led up to her bedroom and her bathroom and all the things she wished she had held onto and wished she could have again. “I won't come back down.” At least she was telling the truth now. No fae magic needed. She’d been telling a lot of truths this weekend. “Will you go sit with her? Until I get back?” She didn’t want Mina to be alone. She’d been alone when Frank had attacked her and she’d been alone for all the days they’d been apart. She didn’t want her to be alone anymore.

“Okay. Downstairs shower that way, I’ll leave you some clothes by the door,” Morgan said. “You  better be dry and squeaky clean when I see you again. There’s an extra smoothie in the fridge, so maybe come out with that too to tide you over until I can get delivery. I’ll be out by the pool.” She gave Bex a little squeeze and shooed her away and went to work putting everything she’d packed back where they belonged, because if she watched Bex go or lingered on casual ease she’d spoken (like everything was okay, like they had all the time in the world, like their life had never been shattered) she would feel the truth and it would cut her and she would not be able to get to the pool. So, food back in the fridge. Make a restock list for the first aid tub. Wet stuff in the wet laundry basket she’d gotten after Mina started staying. Clothes outside the tiny downstairs bathroom. Chinese food on speed dial. 

She turned on all the lights downstairs, and the ones on the back porch, and came back out to the yard where Mina rested against the pool steps. This, she reminded herself, this much might actually be real. “Hey,” she called softly, sitting down nearby, legs in the water. “I hope you’re not too sleepy, because I kind of already ordered you sushi. How are you feeling?”

Looking up as Morgan sat near the water, Mina managed to smile. “Hi.” She rested her chin on her hands, eyes closing slight. “I feel… like I’ve been stabbed and shot and caught in a bear trap.” She opened her eyes and looked up. “So, really, not as bad as it could be. Bad, but I don’t think it’s going to kill me.” The thought of food made her stomach turn, but she tried to shove that down. She needed to eat. She knew she needed to eat. “I appreciate that,” she murmured. “I’m not-- I don’t want to go to sleep right now. I don’t think I should. Just in case.” Just in case things went wrong. Just in case her wounds stopped healing for some reason. Just in case. “How’s Bex?”

“Bex is taking a much needed shower and will come to see you when she looks a little less like something fished out of a muddy lake. And you--” Morgan brushed back Mina’s wet hair. “Don’t need to ‘just in case’ anything. You’re safe, and you know exactly how dangerous sleep deprivation is, and I literally never sleep and Deirdre’s only out for five, maybe six hours a night? Let us ‘just in case’ for now. You, relax and let yourself heal. Tomorrow we can see about a house call from a fae doctor. I’m sure she’ll be understanding for a nix. It’s okay, Mina. Mission over. You got you and Bex safe.”

As nice as the shower felt, Bex made it as fast as she could. She scrubbed her entire body twice over, and washed her hair out until the drain ran clean, no more mud, no more blood, no more tears. But now that she’d stopped moving, her body felt heavy. She could feel everything that adrenaline and fear had stopped her from feeling in the past few days. Everything hurt. Still, she turned off the shower and hopped out. She dried and dressed quickly and tried to not look too long at herself in the mirror, at the bruise on her face, the bruises on her stomach, the bruise on her wrist. Bruises healed, they went away. It was why they only ever left bruises, the occasional broken bone. She shook the thought away and grabbed the smoothie from the fridge and made her way over to the back porch, only limping a little. The clothes Morgan had given her didn’t hide the tendrils of burns she’d caused herself carrying Mina through the forest, but she did her own best to ignore them. 

She was quiet as she came out, watching the other two in the light of the porch for a moment. “Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt,” she murmured. Bex came over and sat next to Morgan, refraining from putting her own feet in, even if she wanted to. She knew the water was cool, and she was already fighting off a fever again. “How-- how are you feeling? Is this better?”

“I haven’t slept well in so long,” Mina said quietly, leaning into Morgan’s touch. Her hand was cold. It felt nice. “The iron burns on my side are just infected. Not bad, but I don’t know if it will heal well, even in the water, and I’ve never been stabbed with a cold iron anything, just slashed at with it, and so I don’t know if-- I just don’t know much about it. It hurts. It’s not as bad but it hurts.” She sighed, eyes closing, and she nodded her head. “Mission over.” Mission only marginally failed. She and Bex were both alive. That was what mattered. Frank was still alive, too, though. Mina’s eyes popped open. She was going to kill him. It was best not to mention that, though, as Bex came out of the house and sat down. “Better. This is better.” Almost anything was better than stumbling through the woods. Mina smiled at Bex. “How are you feeling?”

“Cold iron is pretty bad,” Morgan admitted. “And since you went without help for so long, it’ll probably scar, But I’ve seen worse.” She would have gone on, but Bex arrived, and Mina brightened and it was so good to have the family she wanted almost complete, she re-worked the grittier words she’d been preparing and reached out for Bex so she had one hand on each girl. 

“Wow, I know I’m dead, but I’m pretty sure I can smell the difference from here,” she teased. “You look good, sweetheart. Now, because I know the two of you are going to be worrying about this, let me tell you, no bullshit: this is not the most terrifying set of Warden injuries to walk through this house. And our Mina is way too resilient to go down to an idiot like Frank. It might take awhile, and putting strain and trying to push through injuries will absolutely make it worse, but if Deirdre can survive worse--and I do mean worse, she wasn’t able to walk unassisted for weeks--and still be the most attractive person in White Crest, then I don’t see why Mina shouldn’t get back to being her stubborn self eventually, too.” She turned to Bex and gave her a more thorough look. She was probably due for more Tylenol soon. “I got you your favorite from the Chinese place, but you have dinner for breakfast tomorrow if it feels like too much for your stomach.”

Afraid was the first word that came to Bex’s mind, but she was so tired of feeling afraid. “Like garbage,” she said instead, tracing her finger around the rim of the smoothie cup. “But better.” She scrunched her nose at Morgan. “You try being trapped in a cabin for three days,” she grumbled, but she wasn’t upset and it wasn’t angry. It was just quiet. She looked back down at Mina in the water, still full of scales, and resisted the urge to wade in and kiss her. Now that they were back, she wasn’t sure if they’d get a chance to do that again. Not anytime soon, she supposed. She was even still hesitant to let herself believe it would ever happen again. She preoccupied herself with drinking the smoothie as she listened to Morgan talk. Our Mina. And Mina really was hers, wasn’t she? Even if she had to go home tomorrow. Frank’s name made her inside clench with anger again, but her tired body released it almost immediately. There was nothing to be done about it now, or even anytime soon, so she had to let go of it. For now. She just smiled at Mina, knowing Morgan’s words were true. She would get better. Now that she was home, she would get better. “This is fine for now,” she said, shaking the smoothie cup. “I-- should probably leave early tomorrow.” In case her mother’s prying eyes found her here again and the consequences turned out even worse. She didn’t look at Mina as she said it.

“If I was worried about scars, I think I’d have had a lot of complications in life starting about seventeen years ago,” Mina said, keeping her voice light. She looked at Bex with concern but said, “I’m glad you’re feeling better. I really am.” She didn’t like the idea of things taking awhile to heal, of this lasting that long. Broken bones were bad enough. She didn’t want to spend weeks trying to heal from this. She wanted to be well enough to kill Frank as soon as possible, before she lost the nerve. It was all she’d been able to think about since she looked into his eyes, and, now, it was still there, still important as she rested in the comfort of her own home. “Am I really that stubborn?” she muttered. She didn’t think she was that stubborn. She was raised to be resilient, to keep going no matter what, but she didn’t know if that was stubbornness. She looked at Bex sadly, then to Morgan, as if the older woman could somehow convince her to stay. Mina understood Bex’s reasoning, though, as much as she hated it. “How… How early?”

Bex just smiled at Mina. She didn't really have the heart to tell her right now that she really only felt better because Mina was okay. She was home, in her pool, and a doctor was coming tomorrow and barring any huge misfortunes-- which were so unlikely now that they were with Morgan, she would never let anyone hurt Mina in her own home-- Mina was going to live through the night. It was the first time Bex was sure of that in days-- Mina would live to wake up tomorrow. "You are," she agreed, glancing at Morgan, "so stubborn." She went quiet again. She didn't know the answer, not really, just that she didn't want to risk anything, not when Mina was in critical condition and Morgan was falling apart, literally. "Probably…early enough to catch the first ferry." Six am. She looked at Mina just as sadly. "It won't-- this isn't forever," she said, even if she was unsure herself. "I'm going to fight back."

“The most stubborn,” Morgan agreed. She tried not to tense in the quiet, to not fight herself against what she understood was best for the moment even if it was also the worst for everyone. “That doesn’t change anything I said earlier,” she murmured. “I’ll set an alarm and make sure you have something to eat…” What Bex said next made her heart clench. She looked over at her, wide eyes cautious. Don’t say that if you don’t mean it. Don’t give us more hope if it isn’t real. But Bex seemed...determined, if a bit uncertain, and everything in Morgan burned to believe her. Before she could come up with anything substantial to say, two sets of headlights came up the drive, and soon there was the unmistakable sound of Deirdre giving the delivery person a hard time. Morgan sagged with more kinds of relief than she dared count and pulled her feet out of the water. “I’m proud of you,” she said to Bex. “I hope you do. Now if you’ll excuse me, the food is here and we all deserve five easy minutes with the girls we really want to be with.” She winked at the pair and darted off to the driveway.

Mina’s eyes followed Morgan as she walked away, out the backyard and to the front. She eventually settled back, moving her head to rest on her arms as she looked back up at Bex. This wasn’t forever. Nothing was forever, she’d always known. Good things went away, but bad things did, too. This wasn’t forever. And there were things that Mina could do while Bex was gone. She was still restless, but she was going to stop running so much. She had to stop running so much. And Bex would be back. Eventually. This wasn’t forever. “I believe you,” she said. She pulled one of her hands out of the water. Scales, webbing, claws, scars; there was a bit of it torn between her pinky and ring finger. This was who she was. She held it out to Bex. “I believe you. Just-- You have to be good to yourself, too. If I do, you do, too. You know that, right?” 

Bex didn’t hesitate to take Mina’s hand, wrapping her own around it. With webbing between Mian’s fingers, she couldn’t quite intertwine theirs, but she curled her own around Mina’s and scooted closer. “I don’t know how long it will take,” she admitted quietly, “I can’t-- I have to be careful about this. Whatever secret they’re hiding, it-- it destroys people.” She’d watched it happen too many times. She leaned her head down enough to brush her lips against Mina’s knuckles, examining the torn webbing between two of her fingers. “I’ll try,” she answered. And she would. She didn’t need to be bad to herself when her parents did enough of that for her. She used to, but she didn’t anymore. Hadn’t in a long time. She tugged on Mina’s hand gently. “Can I kiss you again?” she asked quietly.

“Then be careful,” Mina said. “Be careful but-- but I’d really like it if you came back to me. Please.” That was all she wanted. She wanted Bex to be safe. She wanted.. She desperately wanted her to come back. She didn’t want to lose her again. And, if she couldn’t keep her forever (because Mina still had trouble believing in something as impossible as forever), then she wanted to keep her for as long as she could. “I don’t care how long it takes. I really don’t. Just-- Whenever you can. If you still want to.” She squeezed Bex’s hand before making the webbing go away and lacing their fingers. She wanted to be close. She wanted to be closer. She sat up and leaned in, moving herself up towards Bex. She was close. She wanted to be closer. “Yes,” she murmured. “Yes. You can kiss me again.”

“I will be,” Bex said, nodding, “I will be. I pr--” No, she couldn’t. She wanted to, but she couldn’t. There was going to be a time where she’d have to be careless or brave or not careful. The close she got to the truth, the less careful she was going to have to be, she knew that much. “I will.” She wanted nothing more than to be able to come home to Mina, to this house, this pool, her bed. She watched as Mina intertwined their fingers, and it looked so much less painful now than when she’d tried to change herself back at the cabin. Bex squeezed her hand. Mina was close, but she wanted to be closer. It was a bad idea, but she didn’t care-- Bex slid into the pool on the first step so she could be closer and pulled Mina into her and kissed her. Finally really kissed her, like she’d been wanting to the past few days. Like she’d been wanting to the past few weeks. One hand went up into her wet hair and even if her stiff body ached, she just didn’t care. She wanted to kiss her because tomorrow it would all go away again. “I love you,” she said against her lips, “I’ll come back to you. I promise.”

“Just— Just try to be. That’s all I ask,” Mina said. She knew how hard it could be to be careful in this town, this world. Not that Mina had ever really tried. Still, it was almost impossible. That wasn’t a promise Mina wanted Bex to make. She just wanted her to try. She almost protested as Bex got into the water with her, but any protestations died on her lips as she was kissed, as they were as close as they could be, at least like this. She sighed into it, relaxed, at peace. This. She wanted this. She wished she could keep this. “I love you, too,” she murmured. She traced her fingers against Bex’s cheek. “So much. So very much.” Mina kissed her again. “Which is why I release you from that promise.” She tucked a strand of hair behind Bex’s ear. It was a nice promise but a dangerous one. If it couldn’t be upheld, it would be a killer. “I don’t need you to promise me anything. I believe you.”

Bex wanted to make the promise not for Mina-- not quite-- but for herself. It wasn’t really a promise to Mina. It was a promise to herself that she had something to fight for, something, someone she was beholden to. Someone she wanted to come back to. She understood the consequences of a promise like that, after the things she’d seen in Mina’s dream, after the way her body had violently fought her when she’d missed their hot springs date because Frank had taken her. But Mina released her and she knew why. She licked her lips, tasting Mina on them. She liked that better than the smoothie. “Okay,” she said. She leaned in to kiss her again, slow and deliberate, arms wrapping around her bare back. She was going to come back to her. She was. The scary part was not knowing when-- and in what condition. 

“Okay,” Mina echoed before she melted into the kiss again, into the feeling of it, into the moment. She was bone tired and sick and hurt, and she wanted nothing more than to stay in that moment forever. Covered in scratches and scales and only half-clothed; if she was in any better state, she’d be self-conscious about it. Instead, it was hard to cling to modesty at this point. Beside, now there was really nothing that Bex hadn’t already seen. There was no reason to feel shame. Still. “We… should really stop. Before Morgan or Deirdre or both comes back,” she said, though she was still kissing Bex back, the words muffled against her lips. She thought about pulling away, even broke the kiss briefly, but she stayed close, barely a breath between them. She rested her forehead against Bex’s and savored the moment.

“I don’t want to stop,” Bex said against Mina. She didn’t want to stop. She wanted to stay right here, kissing her, holding her, knowing that in this moment she was hers and they didn’t have to worry about bleeding out or hurting one another or catching a fever. Sure, they both ached and they were both beyond tired, but she wanted to stay here, and kiss her, just a little longer. Just a little more. Even if Morgan came back. How many times had they walked in on her and Deirdre kissing? They were due a moment of their own. Mina’s forehead rest against her own and she looked into her brown eyes and remembered seeing them look up at her from under the surface of the lake. They were beautiful then and they were beautiful now. “You’re so beautiful,” she said, unable to keep words inside that often would have stuck in her throat. She kissed the corner of her mouth, her jaw, her neck. “I love all of you,” she mumbled into her skin, “all of you.”

“I don’t particularly want to, either,” Mina said, even though they should definitely stop. Really, they should stop. They needed to stop. They weren’t stopping. Honestly, Mina was going to be mortified when one of the older women walked back out and saw them, but, in that moment, she really didn’t care. She couldn’t. She could barely even think. “You-- I-- Ich liebe dich,” she murmured. “Ich liebe dich mehr jeden tag.” I love you. I love you more every day. And it was true. It was all true. Mina could only say the truth. She only wanted to say the truth. She had nothing more to hide. She didn’t think there was anything else about her to hide. “So much. You’re so much to me. Everything.”

Bex knew what that meant, actually. She remembered from what little Mina had taught her. She smiled against her skin before lifting her head to kiss her lips again, soft and slow and lingering, even as she knew Morgan was coming back out soon. “I know,” she muttered into the kiss, “I know.” And she did, she did. She knew she loved her and she knew Mina knew she loved her back. They’d finally said it, and Bex couldn’t stay. She wondered if it would be more or less painful to leave now. Maybe, with the promise of returning, it all wouldn’t hurt so much. Maybe, with hope for something good again, it wouldn’t be so tiring. But for now, she would kiss Mina until someone made her stop. 

Beyond the young witch and the fae she loved, another couple much like them embraced. Morgan hadn’t stopped talking since she’d run into her love’s arms. Even as she kissed her, frenzied and excited and so, so, very relieved, she was tumbling through the story. The girls were stranded, they were here, well Bex was only a little here and she didn’t want to think about that, but they were here right now and Deirdre should’ve seen them in that run down little station and how brave they were and how well they took care of each other and it shouldn’t be funny at all because Morgan hadn’t been sure Mina would be okay until they were talking by the pool, but she’d never seen any people so afraid and fearless at once since she had stood in the forest a year ago and told Deirdre she loved her. And it was stupid, so stupid to think that anything would go well for them from this absurd moment of recognition, but what if it did? 

“This, all of us being here, it’s only seventy-five percent real at best, and it all turns into smashed pumpkins tomorrow, but the way we love each other is real. Just as much as I love you. So we can act like we can have the rest of this, right?” She asked, mumbling the words into her love’s neck as she kissed up to her face. It was the kind of question that wasn’t a question at all, because Deirdre loved her enough to say of course, of course my love, and Morgan knew it.

And so under the cover of indigo clouds and fading stars, they returned to the girls and teased them as if they had never stopped and picnicked with their styrofoam plates in the grass and shared their secret constellations as though this was a summer dream. And later, when the need for rest couldn’t be denied, Morgan and Deirdre lay sprawled with Bex in the great room, windows cracked, just in case Mina called out in the night. Morgan didn’t call it keeping watch or taking shifts, even if she did periodically get up to look a little closer at the water as she adjusted the air or retrieved another pillow, another book. It was a bubble of a dream, held up by tired smiles and long looks. Morgan settled back into her spot around Deirdre as the sky started to pale and closed her eyes. It was a dream, yes. That didn’t mean she wanted to watch when it broke.

#chatzy #wickedswriting #chatzy: mina #chatzy: morgan #domestic abuse tw #head injury tw #medical blood tw #mina #morgan #tHE CONCLUSION #FINALLY #it's only love

[peachiikawa]

Fly | Route Selected: N. Yuu

genre: mafia au

warnings: violence, guns, blood

word count: 3.2k

Fly Masterlist

“I..I choose him”

You made eye contact with the short man with a blond streak in his hair

“What?”

The distaste in his voice was evident

It was so silent in the police precinct that you could hear a pin drop

Daichi cleared his throat to try and cut the tension

“Ok well if thats your choice then thats that. Nishinoya, make sure they get home and get them to work tomorrow. Dismissed”

Nishinoya nodded his head

“Yes, sir.”

You were surprised that he had little objections about it

But you were soon pulled out of your thoughts when he roughly grabbed your wrist

“Stop daydreaming lets go”

He let go once the car he called came for you two

And as soon as the door closed and the car was moving he pinned his arm against your neck, almost choking you

“I dont know who you are or what youre doing here but i swear to fucking god if i think youre going to hurt anyone here then i will kill you. Nod if you get it”

You nodded your head as fast as you could and he backed off of you

You were too terrified to say anything after that you basically tried to make yourself as small as possible in your seat

After about ten more minutes the car finally arrived at your apartment

“I’ll..um..see you tomorrow nishinoya. Oh im y/n by the way!”

He just grunted and waited for you to shut the door

After he left you went to your room and just fell onto it while taking a deep sigh

Just what have you gotten yourself into?

Nishinoya was at your house at 8:00 AM sharp. He was leaning against the hood of it, checking his watch every two seconds waiting for you

You knew he was there but your nerves refused to let you go down there

Only when you two made eye contact from your window did you know that you had to go

“Sorry im late!”

He said nothing as he got into the car

The car ride was awkward to say the least

You could hear your own heartbeat, could he hear it too?

You were so caught up in your thoughts that didnt even realize the car had stopped

“Hey”

You snapped your head toward him

“Yes?”

He rolled his eyes

“We’re here so get out already”

You undid your seat belt and tried to keep up with him

Where were you exactly? You looked up at the building in front of you to see ‘Sawamura Inc.’ plastered on the front of it

Your eyes widened, you were working here now?

“Get your ass inside”

Noya brought you out of your thoughts once again and you hurried yourself in

You were then stopped by an intimidating looking man

“Hey im asahi and ill be training you today.”

Between nishinoya and him you didnt know who was more intimidating

Actually it was nishinoya, dont know why you even had to ask yourself that

But despite asahi being the one to train you, nishinoya never left your side

You could practically feel his eye burning holes into the back of your head the entire time

This continued on for weeks

Nishinoya always made sure you were within his eyesight

You were printing some charts out for suga and noya was leaning against the doorway

“Nishinoya, can i ask you something?”

You took his silence as approval

“Dont you have other work to do? Im sure that you probably have better things to do that just watch me run errands for everyone”

You were right, he did have other things to take care of

But you were his number one priority during the day

“I can just take care of my other things at night. I was ordered to watch you so i am. Besides you chose me so if you have a problem thats your own fault”

You shook your head

“I dont have a problem with you, dont misunderstand, i just hope that im not being too much of a hindrance to you? I just mean...i know you didnt ask for this so..im sorry if ive caused you any problems”

You took the stack of papers from the printer and turned towards him with a smile on your face

“But thank you for taking time out of your day to watch over me, whether you were ordered to or otherwise”

You walked out and he just stood there for a moment processing your words

He just scoffed

Why would you be thanking someone who threatened to kill you only a few weeks ago?

You were strange

He thought it was weird that you had absolutely no sense of danger

But hes noticed a ton of weird things you do over the days hes been watching you

How you scrunch your nose when you dont understand what youre doing

Or how you play with your fingers when youre nervous

All of these little actions were so annoyingly cute--

Wait no. not cute. 

Definitely not. He had to focus. You could still be a threat to the mafia and he wasnt going to let anyone, no matter how cute they were, hurt his family

But watching you interact with the rest of the mafia made him feel as if he didnt have to be as hard around you anymore

He thought it was funny how you teased kageyama sometimes actually

And he almost wanted to join in on the fun

But he knew his place

Right now was one of the rare instances that nishinoya wasnt on you

So you turned your head to asahi who was sitting across from you doing his work while you had the chance before noya came back

“Hey asahi?”

He looked up at you

“Whats up y/n?”

You fiddled with your fingers

“Does nishinoya not like me? I mean i can understand since i take up a lot of his time but i feel like theres a wall between us that he wont lower no matter how much i try and talk to him”

Asahi just let out a deep sigh

“Thats not surprising. He...hes slow to trust. Out of any of us here, hes probably been with the sawamuras the longest. His loyalty is unparalleled”

You nodded along as you followed his words

“Then..i guess ill just have to earn his trust!”

That didnt happen for a couple more weeks though

It had happened when some grunts that worked in the office barged into the break room to get some coffee

They had shoved you out of the way to get to the counter

Luckily nishinoya caught you before you could fall

“God can you believe Daichi is pulling out of the shiratorizawa alliance? What a dumbass move”

“Yeah maybe hes going stupid in the head. Knew he wasnt cut out for this”

They both started laughing and you could feel noyas arms going stiff

“H...hey!”

You stood up from the ground before noya could jump in

Both of them turned their head towards you with scowls on their faces

“You got something to say?”

You kept your gaze firm

“Actually yeah, i do have something to say. Daichi is a good boss and he always does what he thinks is right for everybody. If he thinks that pulling out of the shiratorizawa alliance is whats best then i trust him on that and you should too! I mean, you two work for him! Dont you think you should show him a little respect?”

They just both busted out laughing

“Respect? For him? Hes nothing without his father. He never wanted anything to do with us anyways. Hes a weak bastard”

“Yeah well at least hes a better man than you two will ever be”

Maybe you provoked them too much

“You wanna say that again bitch?!”

You raised your hands to cover your face bracing yourself for the impact

But you opened your eyes when you heard their strangled voices cry out

“Dont touch them”

Nishinoya was in front of you, the man who was gonna hit you on his knees with his wrist in noyas hand

A sickening crack heard in the room

“Leave. I dont want to see either of your faces here ever again”

Both of them scrambled out of the room as fast as they could

You let out a shaky breath

“Thank you nishinoya”

He turned towards you with his hands in his pockets

“It was nothing. Just doing my job”

After that he wasnt as abrasive with you anymore

Talked to you more at work

Even joined in on teasing kageyama with you!

It made you smile every time he helped you with something as simple as bringing you a drink in the morning

Seeing you smile in the morning started to be something he would look forward to

He trusted you more now

And eventually it led to him knocking on your door at 3 AM on a friday night

You opened the door to your apartment still only slightly aware of what was happening

“Hello?”

You immediately perked up at the sight in front of you

Noya looked like he was about to collapse from the amount of bruises and cuts on him

“Can i come in?”

You quickly got him inside and sat him down on your couch

“Um stay here and undress ill go get my first aid kit

He just nodded his head as you ran off

Once you came back you poured some alcohol on a rag and went for the bigger slash on his side

But you stopped at what you saw

He had so many scars

You unconsciously brought your hand up to one of them and ran a finger over it to which he shuttered under your touch

“Y/N?”

You pulled your hand away and focused again

“Sorry, this might sting”

You saw his face grimace and his hand tighten around his shirt

“Did that hurt too much?”

He shook his head

“No its fine keep going”

Once you were done disinfecting and bandaging all of his wounds, you laid him down on a pillow so he could rest

“Oh! Let me go get you some water”

But once you came back he was already asleep

You set the water on the coffee table and grabbed a blanket from your room and laid it on top of him

You sat on the ground next to him just taking in what had just happened 

He looked so different when he was asleep but still just as handsome

You slowly fell asleep with your head leaning against the edge of the couch cushion

Noyas eyes slowly opened due to the cracks of sunlight coming through the window

When he turned his face he was only a hair length away from yours

Which startled him so he shot up from the couch which made you bolt awake

“What is it? Whats happening??”

You looked around looking for the fire only to see that noya had woken up

“Oh good morning nishinoya. Sleep well?”

You stretched your arms out and yawned

“You can take a shower if you want. Ill go get you a towel”

He was about to object but you left too fast

He stood up and looked around your apartment and saw some photos on a shelf

He picked up the frame to see a young you, probably around five or six with two adults sitting beside you

Your parents

He suddenly realized how...ordinary your life must have been

“Nishinoya?”

He snapped his head towards you and put the photo down

“Cmon ill show you the shower”

You had a smile on your face that made his heart do something weird

He didnt understand it

After he got out you were sitting on the couch with your first aid kit

“Do you need help rewrapping your bandages?”

He nodded his head and made his way toward you to sit down

You started wrapping him up, trying to be careful not to irritate his wounds

He just stared at you

Normally someone would be curious in this type of situation

So why werent you saying anything?

“Are you not going to ask any questions?”

You just kept applying ointment

“No, unless you want to talk about it but i know it doesnt really concern me as im not..officially in the mafia with you guys. What happened is your business, i know you handle your jobs at night since youre busy dealing with me during the day”

He was kind of shocked at how understanding you were

His hand reached out on its own and pulled you into a hug before he knew what he was doing

You froze as soon as he pulled you in

Just what was happening?

You both slowly pulled away from each other, hints of reds and pinks covering both of your cheeks

“Im done wrapping you up so I’ll um go shower now. If youre hungry feel free to look in the kitchen for something to eat”

You rushed off with a hand covering your face

Noya sat there confused

What had gotten into him?

He put his shirt back on and left before you could come back out

He wasnt being himself and needed to leave

Monday came around and you hadnt seen or heard from noya since saturday morning

You were shocked to see that he was gone when you had come out of the shower

But at the same time you were relieved to see him gone after that awkward moment together

Noya had picked you up like usual though and he acted like nothing had happened

So you decided to just follow along and did your job as usual

It was kind of awkward between the two of you

The only thing breaking the silence between you two was nishinoyas phone notification going off

“I have a meeting with daichi. Ill be back later”

You nodded your head

“Ill be here”

He quickly left the room and you let out a sigh

Noya quickly made his way to daichis office, clutching the area above his heart

Why did it race around you now?

You didnt even do anything

You were just...there

“God what the hell is wrong with me?”

He ran a hand through his hair

You on the other hand finished all your tasks for the day

You looked at the time...only half past two

There was a bakery right around the block, maybe you could pick something up real quick for everyone

So you went on your way grabbing only your wallet since it was so close

As soon as you turned the corner though you felt something was wrong

You picked up the pace, hoping to get to the bakery before anything happened

But as soon as you picked up the pace so did your stalkers

You yelped when you felt someone yank on your arm, pulling you into an alley

“Someone help! Nishinoya!”

You tried to kick whoever was holding you

“Shut them up we need to get out of here”

A white cloth came over your mouth and you were quickly unconscious

Itd been hours since noya had last seen you and he could feel his stomach dropping

Where the hell were you?

Kageyama said he last saw you finishing up a report for suga and suga said he received that hours ago

Noyas foot wouldnt stop tapping the ground, he couldnt sit still and everyone around him was starting to notice how antsy he was

“Hey noya whats up?”

Asahi was just trying to get noya to calm down from whatever was bothering him

“I havent seen y/n since my meeting with daichi. For some reason my chest gets tight when i think that something bad mightve happened to them. When they smile my heart races and i cant stand the idea of anything bad happening to them”

Asahi just let out a deep sigh

“Nishinoya, have you ever considered that you might love them?”

He...loved you?

Suddenly everything made sense to him

How he caught himself smiling whenever he saw you teasing kageyama or how when he woke up that morning in your apartment he wanted nothing more than to wake up like that every morning

He loved you

A ringing sound echoed in the room and noya pulled out his phone

An unknown number

Unease settled in him as he answered the phone

“Hello?”

“This Nishinoya?”

His hand tightened around his phone

“Yeah. Whos this”

“Meet us at the warehouse on 6th near the port in thirty minutes and come alone. If you dont then itd be a shame if something happened to y/n”

Noya could hear your strangled whimpers before the phone call ended 

His blood ran cold

“Asahi..someone took y/n”

His voice was low and feral, it sent chills down asahis back

“I'm going ahead. Bring backup ill send you the details”

Nishinoya grabbed his jacket and left the building 

His feet hit the ground as soon as he got there, he couldnt care less about his own safety right now

The cold metal pushed against his hands as he opened the door to the warehouse

“Y/n?!”

He felt his heart stop once his eyes landed on you

Blood ran down your face, your beaten body limp on the floor

“Took you long enough. They werent as fun as we thought they were going to be. Glad you got here before we broke ‘em”

Noyas jaw tightened as he instantly recognized them

How dare they touch you

He had shown them mercy the day they almost hit you in the break room

But now he knew that was a mistake

“What do you want with me?”

They both had disgusting smiles on their faces

“You got us kicked out of the mafia, something that was important to the both of us. Of course we had to return the favor, though we’ll be taking them”

The man gripped your chin and noya saw your eyebrows twitch from the discomfort

“Dont touch them!”

Red flooded noyas vision

He hadnt felt this amount of rage and fear in a long time

But as soon as he moved one of them had a gun pointed at him while the other was on you

“Theres no way you can win this. Just sit and watch”

“Is that what you think?”

Noya turned around at the sound of daichis voice

Hed never been so relieved to have backup before

In their shock the karasuno mafia quickly got the upper hand against the two former members

And as soon as noya could he lifted you into his arms and wiped away the blood on your face with frantic movements

But you slowly grabbed one of his hands and intertwined your fingers with his

“Thank you for coming nishinoya”

His lips quivered as tears flowed down his face and onto yours

“Im so sorry y/n”

You shook your head

“Its not your fault noya. Please believe me when i tell you that”

He nodded his head and tried to stop his crying

“I love you so much y/n. You wont ever have to go through this ever again, i promise”

His brought your hand up to his lips and he kissed your knuckles

“I love you too, noya. Now cmon, lets get home im really tired”

He lifted you up and carried you out, not bothering to talk to anyone as he left and no one talking to him either

For the first time karasunos guardian had something else he wanted to protect

And he was going to love and treasure you for as long as he was alive

taglist: @the-ironic-me​ @multisun​ @my-mass-hysteria​ @sugawsites @youbloodylegendyoudidit @sinthxy @celamoon​ @tinymouth @fait-de-fleurs​ @tsukifanbase​ @69owo​

#haikyuu!! #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu!! x reader #nishinoya x reader #nishinoya yuu x reader #nishinoya yu x reader #nishinoya yuu #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu!! imagines #haikyuu!! scenarios #tw violence #tw blood #tw guns

[junetuesday]

sweetener - [thirteen]

Good Vibes and Good Times

Pairing: Tom Holland x Female Reader - uni AU

Word Count:  5338

Warnings: alcohol, smut (fun stuff that i dont want to spoil by putting a warning for lmao), more alcohol, food, cuteness, fluff

A/N: not to toot my own horn but another update within a month???? who is she??? lemme know what you think of this chapter there’s some stuff in here i’ve never written before (and i kinda went off on a tangent oops) so im interested to hear your thoughts! as always thank you for the love on the last chapter and this series in general, it really means the world to me!

Add yourself to my taglist(s)

Updates: stay tuned....tentatively scheduled for march 1st?

As far as you were concerned, Refreshers Week was off to a great start. Though it was supposed to be a repeat of the first week of the academic year (aka Freshers Week), filled with nights out, drinking, and yet more nights out, you were taking a slightly different route this time.

You’d woken up from your post-Nandos nap on Friday to Liv knocking on your door telling you to get up and start getting ready after she’d gotten no reply to her text messages. You and Tom had slept a little longer than you’d intended, but you supposed that was your own fault for not setting an alarm. After speedily getting ready, you both joined the girls and Jack and a few of Liv’s friends downstairs for predrinks and a few rounds of Ring of Fire. The night got a bit blurry after the dirty pint you had to down hit you in the taxi on the way to the SU, but from what you did remember you had a good night, and the rest of the weekend was spent hungover, snoozing, eating junk food, and just generally enjoying your new found freedom.

Come Monday night, you and Tom were curled up together on the sofa in your living room. There was a “special guest” at the union, which meant they were charging £25 a ticket for some DJ you had never heard of, so both of you had decided to stay in and have some drinks at home instead. Madison and Liv had gone out and gone to predrinks elsewhere, so you had the house to yourselves - which meant you could watch a movie downstairs on the TV instead of in your room on your laptop. It also meant that instead of being squished together on your bed you were lounging on the sofa (not that you minded being squished, but still). You had your back to the arm of the sofa, your legs laying across Tom’s lap while he sat with his feet propped up on the coffee table, a blanket covering your both your legs.

“Can I ask you something?” he said after taking a sip of his drink, lowering his glass to rest on your blanket-covered thigh as you nodded. “What’s going on in this film?”

A valid question - one you weren’t sure anyone really knew the answer to.

“To be honest,” you chuckled, “I don’t really know? I’ve seen it like six times and I still don’t really get it but I still enjoy it.”

“Right...okay.”

“Plus,” you raised your glass, gesturing at the TV. “Look at baby Jake Gyllenhaal - in’t he cute?”

Tom laughed at that, shrugging. “I guess?”

“It’s nearly over anyway.”

That was a lie, it wasn’t nearly over, but you had a feeling you probably weren’t going to make it through the entirety of Donnie Darko this evening. On several occasions you’d felt Tom’s eyes on you, but each time you’d looked over at him out of the corner of your eye he’d been staring straight ahead at the TV, or looking down at his glass as he took a drink, or otherwise not looking at you.

After one such occasion, you set your now empty glass down on the table, licking your lips as you swallowed the last of your wine. You were feeling a little tipsy by then, the tips of your fingers and the depths of your belly starting to feel tingly. Lower parts of your body were also feeling a little something too, and while the wine probably did have something to do with it, it was also because of the boy beside you.

Your right arm rested across the back of the sofa behind his head, your fingers beginning to card through his hair. You kept your vision fixed straight ahead, eyes on the TV screen as your fingertips brushed his skin, rubbing gentle circles at the edge of his hairline behind his ear. Sat so close together, you practically on top of him, you could hear his breathing shift as he took a deep breath in. You looked over at him again as he exhaled, his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat as he swallowed harshly. This time he met your gaze, his eyes flicking down to your lips as his tongue darted out to wet his own before tilting his head to kiss you.

You sat up more as the kiss quickly deepened, though the positioning of your bodies on the sofa made the angle a little awkward. You hardly noticed, though, and before long Tom’s glass was sat beside yours on the coffee table, the blanket was discarded on the floor, and you were climbing into his lap, your knees either side of his thighs on the sofa. Your hands cupped his face as your lips reconnected, his holding your waist - though they didn’t stay there for very long, roaming your body as you kissed deeply, messily, all probing tongues and panted breaths. Grinding down onto him, you could feel him growing harder through his sweatpants, pressing against you through the soft material.

“We should, um” you swallowed, trying to focus as Tom’s hand in your hair tilted your head to the side so he could kiss along your jaw. “Should go upstairs...”

He hummed against your skin like he agreed, but then he started sucking on your neck, so it was all a little contradictory. Still, you reasoned, you might as well let him finish what he started, so you closed your eyes, leaning into his hand and rolling your hips against his as his teeth nipped at your skin.

Once he was done there though, you knew you really should move things up to your room - partly because it’s just common courtesy not to have sex on communal areas of the house, and partly because these sofas were here when you moved in and you dreaded to even think what horrors they had seen, let alone get naked on them. So, you placed your hands on Tom’s shoulders to steady yourself and pulled back, feeling a little wobbly as you got to your feet - for various reasons, from the wine, to him kissing your neck, to your legs starting to go numb from being folded up underneath you. Once you were upright you held out your hands, tugging Tom up off the sofa and towards the stairs.

You parted ways halfway up, sending him on up to your room while you made a pittstop at the bathroom. You checked your reflection in the mirror as you dried your hands - a little dishevelled, sure, your hair ruffled and swollen, but you were pretty sure that was mostly Tom’s doing so you weren’t too concerned about fixing it. Alcohol and lust were at just such a point in your system that you were, shall we say, feeling yourself more than you would have been on an average Monday night, a little pep in your step as you made your way up to your bedroom.

Opening your door, you saw Tom sitting on the edge of your bed, and it was only as you reached behind you to shut the door that you noticed what he was actually doing.

“What are you doing?”

You were frozen, your hand still clasped around your door handle as your eyes flicked back and forth between the bottom drawer of your bedside cabinet and Tom, who was sitting staring into it.

“Nothing!” He blurted, looking up at you with an innocent smile on his face before turning back to the open drawer. “What’s that?”

What’s that?? He knew full well what it was, and you both knew it.

“It’s - I-”

“I wasn’t like, going through your stuff or anything,” Tom’s eyes went wide as he turned his attention back to you, shaking his head hurriedly. “I mean I guess I was but not like that, I was just going to get a thing- a condom- ‘cause, I dunno I thought-”

“It’s okay,” you said as you finally moved further into your room, beginning to try and gather your thoughts into something besides ahhhh!!!!! and oh???. You really hadn’t expected to come upstairs to find Tom discovering your vibrator, but sometimes life’s like that, you supposed - full of surprises.

“...sorry.”

“It’s okay,” you said again as you approached him, managing an awkward chuckle this time.

“...can I look at it?”

An odd mixture of embarrassed and exhilarated and turned on and just plain uhhhh???? filled your mind and body as you considered Tom’s question. Quite honestly, you’d forgotten it was even in there, seeing as you hadn’t used it in a while. You’d had no need to, your sexual pleasure quite literally out of your hands as of late - and when you were using it, it was hardly something you advertised. The girls didn’t even know you had it - it was like your little secret. But maybe it didn’t have to be..?

“I guess?”

You sat down beside him as he reached into the drawer, into the little box where you kept the condoms you’d gotten from Liv, and plucked your vibrator from its hiding place. The little purple bullet fit neatly in the palm of his hand, about three inches long and tapered into a point at one end. You bit the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from giggling as Tom held his hand out flat, lifting it up to get a closer look as though he was holding some sort of rare lizard.

“How does it work?”

“There’s a button on the-”

“-oh right, okay.” Tom cut you off as you gestured to the end closest to his wrist, turning the bullet in his hand.

Holding it like you would a pen, he clicked the button on top, his eyes widening as it began to vibrate.

“You can click it again,” you chuckled quietly. “It’s got like different settings.”

“Oh...OH. Jesus Christ-”

You giggled as Tom cycled through the varying patterns and intensities, watching his reactions.

“Yeah, to be honest I think there’s too many like, it’s not really necessary.”

“Oh yeah? Which ones don’t you like, then? Or, I guess, which ones do you like?”

“Ahhhh,” you covered your face with your hands, feeling your cheeks hot beneath your palms as you groaned. “I dunno, this is weird…”

Tom laughed at that, and when you peeked out from between your fingers at him you could see he had a cheeky smile plastered across his face.

“Why’s it weird?”

“I dunno…”

To be fair to him, you didn’t really have an answer to that. Perhaps it was because you’d felt uncomfortable about buying a sex toy in the first place, like by purchasing something purely for your own sexual pleasure as as single girl you were somehow committing to being alone, as though it were some sort of symbol that you didn’t have someone else to give you orgasms, or something like that. Which you knew was ridiculous when you really thought about it, something that was likely rooted in the notion that women shouldn’t really enjoy sex or watch porn or that they don’t (or rather shouldn’t) masturbate - and they certainly shouldn’t be buying things with which to pleasure themselves. You hadn’t thought about it as explicitly as that at the time, of course, it was only after a drunken heart-to-heart with a random girl in the toilets of the SU about feminism and the patriarchy that you linked your embarrassment about ordering a vibrator online with internalised misogyny. In any case, all that internal toing and froing had quickly dissipated once you used it for the first time and you came so quickly and so hard you had to have a little lie down afterwards. But even still, having Tom see it, talking to him about it, maybe even using it with him, was entirely different. Somehow. Despite the fact that you’d been extremely intimate with him on several occasions already...he’d literally seen your arsehole, for Christ’s sake. Okay, so maybe it’s not that weird…if anything this is less intimate than like, oral, right?

Tom leaned back on the bed while you were trying to decide whether or not you felt “weird”, propping himself up on his elbows and passing your vibrator to his left hand so that it was on his other side - meaning that if you wanted to take it from him, you’d have to lean over him. Little shit.

Twisting to face him, you held out your hand and fixed what you hoped was a stern expression to your face.

“Give it to me.”

Tom glanced between you and your vibrator, securely clutched in his hand, narrowing his eyes when he looked at you.

“Why?”

“...Because.”

You reached across him to try and grab it, but he was faster, stretching his arm up out of your reach as he laughed.

“That’s not an answer!”

Your arm stretched out too, but you couldn’t quite reach. Your body draped over his as you leant over him, trying to reach his hand. Flat on his back on the bed, Tom pushed his feet against the floor to scramble further back onto the bed. You clambered on top of him, both of you giggling drunkenly as you clawed at his wrist - until his right hand was pulling your face down to meet his, and you felt him laugh against your lips before he kissed you.

Your hand fell away from his like you’d forgotten what you were reaching for, your fingers weaving into the curls at the back of his neck instead. Your hands in his hair kept him close as the two of you rolled over, his body a pleasant weight on top of your own. You were vaguely aware of the dull sound of the bullet vibrating low and steady in his fist somewhere beside you as you kissed, but you became rather more attuned to it when he started to trail it slowly down your side. Tom shifted off you slightly, and you let your leg fall to the side as he traced a line with the tip of the bullet, across your hip and down towards your inner thighs, following the seam of your knickers through the thin material of your leggings.

You sighed as he started kissing your neck again, picking up where he left off downstairs. In for a penny, in for a pound, I guess.

Reaching down, you placed your hand over his, clicking the button on the vibrator until it was vibrating in waves, steadily growing stronger with each turn before fading away again. You guided Tom’s hand to slowly tease your pussy through your clothes, rubbing the length of the bullet up and down between your folds.

He pulled back from kissing your neck then, watching your face as he copied your movements. Satisfied he would keep going unassisted, you soon let go of his hand. You could hear your heart beating in your ears, hear the sound of your own breathing, shaky and heavy as you closed your eyes and let yourself relax fully. You could feel it building already, the knot deep inside your abdomen beginning to tighten as the ebb and flow of the vibrations brought you closer and closer each time.

You tensed, sucking in a breath when Tom pulled his hand away, but relaxed again once he tucked his hand inside your underwear - until he clicked the button again, changing the settings abruptly.

“Oh shit, sorry- ”

“S’okay,” you breathed, a small smile on your face as you opened your eyes. “Press it again though, I don’t like that one.”

He chuckled and shook his head, but did as you asked.

“Thanks.”

You reached up to clasp the back of his neck, angling your face up to his as you pulled him into a kiss, feeling him smirking against your lips before they connected. Though he’d changed it by accident, you usually switched to this setting for a while anyway. The vibrations were stronger now, short bursts that grew longer and closer together until it was one long, powerful vibration, before reverting back and cycling through again and again.

The hand that wasn’t tangled in Tom’s hair moved back between your thighs, covering his through your clothes to press the bullet more firmly against your clit. Your mouth fell open against his as you felt yourself hurtling closer and closer to release.

“P-press it four times,” you managed to mutter, and he seemed to hear you though it came out strained and muffled against his lips because his hand shifted under yours and the vibrations shifted to a continuous, powerful blast.

“Oh fuck-”

Your back arching and thighs tensing, your hips lifted off the bed. Your hand over his keeping the bullet pressed firmly to your clit, your head dropped back against the pillows and you moaned loudly as you came hard. Grinding against the vibrator and Tom’s hand, your hips rocked back and forth until your orgasm had finally finished washing over you and you let your hand fall onto the bed beside you.

Taking the hint, Tom pulled the toy away and out of your leggings - though he pressed it against your clit again over your clothes, just for a second until you squeaked, your body twitching at the overstimulation.

“Sorry, just wanted to see what would happen.”

You rolled your eyes but laughed breathlessly - you’d be lying if you said you hadn’t done the same yourself. You watched as Tom clicked the button on the bullet to cycle through the settings until it was turned off, a curious expression on his face as he did so.

“What?”

“Nothing…” he shook his head, finally tearing his eyes away from the bullet in his hand to look at you. “So you don’t actually need me like, at all, really?”

You scoffed at that, sitting up a bit and propping yourself up on your elbows.

“It’s not the same. Like, that doesn’t bring me coffee in the library or take me to McDonald’s at half ten at night.”

“Ohh,” Tom smirked, “so it’s mainly just food and beverages that you want from me?”

“Shut up, you know that’s not what I meant.”

You shook your head with a laugh as you pushed at his chest until he fell onto his back, climbing on top of him and reaching for the hem of your t shirt to pull it off over your head before you leant down and kissed him.

“So is it like a ‘friends with benefits’ type thing?”

It felt like you’d been having this conversation for days. Maybe it was because after Tom left on Tuesday afternoon you’d found yourself thinking about what exactly it was that you wanted from him if it wasn’t food and beverages, and now it was Wednesday evening and you were being interrogated while getting ready to go out.

“Er, no not really,” you shook your head distractedly, focusing on curling the back of your friend Ruby’s hair without burning her or yourself.

Ruby, one of your best friends from high school, had texted you the day before asking if you were free for an last minute visit as her lectures had gotten cancelled and she, quite rightly, felt it was time for you to catch up, seeing as you hadn’t seen each other properly over Christmas. You immediately accepted, of course, briefing her on the fancy dress theme for Wednesday night - Angels v Devils. You were going as an angel, mostly because you had a new white dress you wanted to wear, while Liv and Madison were going as devils. Ruby’s costume was to be decided by whichever accessory she could find in Claire’s Accessories on her way to the train station - which turned out to be a white fluffy halo, so you ended up with another angel on your side.

The timing of her impromptu visit actually worked out quite well anyway, because it being a Wednesday meant that Tom was off doing AU stuff with the rest of the rugby boys. They hadn’t actually played a match yet this term, but as far as you could work out being part of the Athletics Union was as much about socials and going out as it was about actual sports. Someone on the team had had the foresight to order a huge pack of devil horns online, so they were all going as devils. They’d also started drinking around 3pm, so by the time you started getting ready at 7 you’d already seen a slew of ‘horny devil’ jokes and stories on social media.

And anyway, as much as you’d enjoyed getting ready and predrinking with Tom on Friday, you were happy to be having some good old fashioned girl time, all getting ready together in Madison’s room and having a few drinks as you got ready - plus, it gave you time to bring Ruby up to speed with your love life. In all honesty, if she hadn’t been there you probably wouldn’t have brought it up at all, but you figured you should give her a heads up because it was highly likely you’d see Tom at some point during the night, and you didn’t want to have to awkwardly try and define the nature of your relationship in front of him.

“So he’s not your boyfriend?” Ruby looked up at you through her hair as you curled the last few sections.

“No,” you shook your head more decisively this time.

“But you’re not seeing anyone else, are you?”

“Nope.”

“And neither is he?”

“No - well,” you paused, considering for a moment. “I presume so, I haven’t asked.”

“Why not ask?” Madison interjected from her spot on the bed where she sat, already dressed and ready, drinking vodka lemonade through a straw.

“Because…” you shrugged, returning your attention to doing your makeup now that Ruby’s hair was done. “I dunno. I don’t feel like I need to? Like it’s just...it’s fine.”

“Right…” Madison didn’t sound 100% convinced, but she moved on anyway and directed her next question at Liv, who was currently doing her eyebrows. “What about you and Harrison, is that the same?”

“Yeah, I guess,” she shrugged, tilting her head to see her brows from all angles in the mirror she had propped up against a stack of textbooks on Mads’ desk. “Like, we’re not a thing, but like, it’s a thing, you know?”

You didn’t know, but you also felt the same way about you and Tom, so you just nodded and went back to applying liberal amounts of highlighter to your cheekbones (and your brow bone, and your nose, and basically your entire face, because if you can’t glow when you’re an angel, when can you?)

By the time all four of you were ready to officially start predrinking you were already a couple of drinks deep (or more than a couple in Madison’s case), so by the time you got to the union you were all more than ready for a dance. Wednesday nights were typically the cheesy pop night, which suited you just fine, and though your friends claimed not to really be that into it you knew they’d be singing along as loud as anyone when What Makes You Beautiful came on. First port of call had to be the ladies’, however, as you had all well and truly broken the seal.

The second stop was the shot bar, which was probably an ill-advised choice seeing as none of you needed to be doing shots at that point in time, but you had a guest, so you had to give her the full SU experience, and that included the shot bar - which was where you bumped into Harrison. You weren’t sure whether he just happened to be passing or whether Liv had summoned him, but either way he was there with his arm around her shoulders and clinking shot glasses with you, Mads, and Ruby too just for good measure.

He pointed over to the dancefloor, and though you couldn’t really hear what he was saying you followed where he was pointing to and spotted a group of boys in the middle of the floor, and you guessed that Tom was amongst them. You nodded to show you understood, but you were torn - you were supposed to be spending time with Ruby, so you didn’t want to seem like you were ditching her for Tom. Luckily for you, she seemed to have witnessed your exchange with Harrison and gathered what was going on, because she just downed her shot, gestured over to the boys, and yelled ‘wanna go over?’ in your ear, so your decision was kind of made for you.

Weaving your way through the crowd, you made your way over to the group, Harrison leading the way. Tom saw him first, nodded in acknowledgement, and went to turn back to whoever he was talking to before he spotted you behind him. You could feel the grin spreading across your face as you squeezed past Harrison, wrapping your arms around Tom’s shoulders as his wrapped around your waist in a bone-crushing hug. He swayed slightly as he squeezed you, so you guessed he was about as intoxicated as you were.

“This is my friend Ruby,” you shouted in his ear as you separated, gesturing over your shoulder to her.

You turned to her and pointed to Tom with your right hand, the fingers of your left hand slotting between Tom’s as his hand slipped into yours. “This is um… this is Tom.”

You laughed to yourself as you introduced him - you’d discussed him at length at pres, so he hardly needed an introduction, but it felt like the proper thing to do. You were pretty sure neither of them heard a word you said over the music anyway, but both Tom and Ruby raised a hand and waved politely at one another, which only made you laugh more - which did make Tom look at you questioningly, but you just shook your head and shouted ‘nothing!’ at him.

Laughing turned out to be a running theme for the night, and you ended up spending the majority of the night as one giant group - which was very fun for you, if a little annoying for everyone else around you. As it was though, you were all too drunk to care about other students, so it didn’t bother you at all that you took up most of the dancefloor and were by far the loudest group when it came to singing along to some pop classics. By the time the lights came on and you all got herded downstairs by security, your camera roll was full of new memories - selfies with Ruby, selfies with Tom, plenty of group photos taken by random people who were unfortunate enough to get accosted by Liv - all of which you swore would be nice (spoiler alert: most of them were not nice, though there were some fun ones from predrinks as well as a cute one of you and Tom that you set as your contact photo for him as you lay in bed hungover waiting for Ruby to wake up the next morning).

Pushing tables and chairs together, you all sat together trying to eat enough greasy food to soak up all the alcohol in your bodies while you waited for your taxis (much to the annoyance of the union staff, not that any of you noticed). You and Tom sat a little way away from the rest of the group, picking at a large portion of cheesy chips with one hand each, your other hands clasped together on your knee under the table.

“Oh, I meant to ask you something.”

“‘kay,” you glanced up at Tom, but mostly focusing on the chips in front of you. “Actually, I need to tell you something first.”

“Okay,” Tom nodded, popping another chip into his mouth.

“Did you know…” You paused, possibly for a little longer than was necessary, but you got distracted pulling off another chip from the lump of potato and cheese in the tray.

“Did I know what?” Tom probed, nudging your knee with his.

“I’m getting to it!” you rolled your eyes, finally breaking the exceptionally long string of cheese that was preventing you from eating your chip and shoving it into your mouth. “Did you know that I fancied you for ages?”

“Oh?”

You didn’t really know what prompted you to say it - truth be told you weren’t really thinking too clearly, but now you’d started you couldn’t stop.

“Mmhmm, like in first year I hardly ever bought coffee on campus, and then- ” you paused again to eat another chip “-then I started buying it all the time from you, so really it’s your fault.”

“What’s my fault?” Tom laughed, his knee bouncing against yours as he shifted in his seat.

His laugh made you look up from your food, and then you started looking at the devil horns poking out from in between his curls and you sort of lost your train of thought (not that you even really had one to begin with).

“I dunno,” you shrugged, “just is.”

“Well...sorry?” he tilted his head and furrowed his brow, framing it as more of a question than an apology.

“S’okay,” you shrugged, squeezing his hand as you smiled. “What were you gonna ask me anyway?”

“Oh yeah,” Tom squeezed your hand back as he spoke. “Would you, I was gonna say- do you wanna come and watch me play in like, two weeks? I mean, it won’t just be me it’ll be like, the whole team - obviously - and another team-”

You’d been nodding the whole time he was rambling, your answer decided almost as soon as he’d said ‘do you wanna come’, but you realised you were probably going to have to say something verbal to interrupt him.

“Yeah, sure.”

“-oh okay, cool.”

“You better win though,” you raised your eyebrows at him, kicking his foot under the table.

“Obviously,” he scoffed, grabbing a handful of chips as he bumped his knee against yours.

You weren’t even halfway through your chips when your taxis finally arrived, but thankfully Tom let you take the box home with you - a gesture which earned him a kiss on the cheek from you and a hug from Madison, who had eagerly tucked in as soon as she came over to tell you your cab was outside. As might have been expected, Liv went back with Harrison (and Tom, who very astutely opted to sit in the front seat rather than squeeze in the back beside them) so you, Ruby, and Madison shared a taxi home, and by the time you eventually climbed into bed it was sometime after four am. It would have been earlier, only you were determined to take your makeup off before you fell asleep because you’d put on fresh sheets for Ruby staying over and you didn’t want to stain the pillow case. Which was admirable, really, only your fine motor skills weren’t too hot just then, so you spent a lot of time just rubbing mascara around your face with a make up wipe before eventually just giving up, flipping your pillow over and getting into bed.

“Your friends are nice,” Ruby yawned as she snuggled in beside you. “I approve.”

You just hummed back happily - you were already falling asleep, but you were glad to hear your home and uni friends got along. You were just thinking about how nice it is when different parts of your life overlap and it works out nicely, when your phone buzzed with a text.

“Tom’s nice too,” you heard Ruby murmur sleepily as you pulled your phone out from under your pillow. “I like him.”

“Yeah,” you muttered back as you read the message on your screen. “Me too.”

Tom Holland Glad u got home ok Goodnight angel x

⋘TWELVE | FOURTEEN⋙

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#tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland fic #tom holland fanfic #tom holland imagine #tom holland blurb #tom holland headcanon #tom holland smut #tom holland fluff

[a-lonely-tatertot]

Finding Home

A/N: HIIIIIII IM BACK BOIS! Anyways this is a shorter chapter I didn’t wanna mess with outline so you get tiny chapter. sooo woot woot for like barely 2k words? But like the doc im writing this on is at like 19k and 29 pages i am in shock. trying to get back a consistent updating with this so uh yeah dont keep your hopes up tho- working on ch. 7 rn hope you enjoy! As always betaed by the glorious @bookwyrminspiration

words: 2208

tw: none

wattpad ao3

Chapter 6: These Secrets Stain Us Red

They had gotten off the bus at the last stop before Kull, stepping out into the cold air. Sophie glanced at the trees in the distance turning orange and yellow. Distantly, she remembered when she was younger this was her favorite season, how the leaves would fall and crunch at her feet, and how it was actually somewhat bearable to be outside. She smiled at the memory as she held Linh’s hand, walking quickly to the gas station, her stomach already grumbling.

“Linh?” a voice called from behind them as they stood in line. Linh swung around, trying to find the source of who called her, nearly startling Sophie into almost dropping her water. The mystery person stepped out from behind a small cluster of people with an overly energetic wave. “Linh! It is you!” he called.

Sophie watched as Linh’s eyes landed on the man and her whole expression shifted. As opposed to the man’s own happiness, Linh seemed to put a wall between her real emotions and the rest of the world, her face betraying nothing. “Hey, Sameul!” Linh said in pretend excitement; Sophie knew that her words carried an undertone of malice.

This Sameul was not the man Sophie had seen in the memories, but from Linh’s reaction, he seemed to probably be involved in whatever Linh was in.

“That’s me,” Sameul responded, clearly not getting Linh’s annoyance like Sophie was. “Geez, it’s been what, how many months since I last saw you?”

“Yeah it’s been a while,” Linh said, her shoulders rigid and her jaw set. Who the heck is this guy? she thought. Their name was called and Sameul followed them to go pick up their food. Sophie tried not to feel trapped with the way Linh’s eyes darted.

Sameul smiled ruefully, “Last time I saw you you had a little backpack and were running out the door in the middle of the night.” Linh took in a sharp breath and stuttering to a halt, her tray of food almost dropping. Sophie raised her eyebrows, more confused than ever. There was a beat then a sharp ring interrupted the weighted silence and Linh’s eyes widened with relief.

“Oh Sam, I’m sorry, that’s her sister calling. She’s really gotta take that. Why don’t you come with me?” Linh asked, more of a command than a suggestion. Reluctantly, Sophie pressed accept on her phone, ready to unleash the crazy whirlwind of shit that she had found out on one completely unprepared Amy. “What up checking in blame Tina she was worried,” Amy said, boredom concealing her concern.

“Uhuh sure Tina was worried,” Sophie chuckled. “Anyways, Linh is being super suspicious.”

Amy made a startled noise, “O-okay then so not well.” 

Sophie nodded even though Amy couldn’t see her, “Yup, also uh side note, totally did not watch another one of her memories.” “Sophie! It’s like you’re trying to do it on purpose!”

“It was an accident I swear!”

“Mhm, yeah, definitely.”

Sophie grumbled, “Oh screw off. Anyway, I was in this bathroom and her knuckles were all bloody like she had punched something. And then this guy came in and said that she wasn’t allowed to be reckless anymore, but from what I saw it was like she was living with some other runaway people I guess?”

Amy was silent for a moment. “Well damn.”

“Yeah,” Sophie agreed. “You shoulda seen her when this guy recognized her while we were getting food; she got like scary tense and for a moment I thought she was gonna water power him.” “Water power him? Really? That’s what you’re calling it?” Amy said. Sophie could practically hear her raising her eyebrow. “At that point just call it water bending.”

“I refuse to call it that.”

“How dare you; you’ve disrespected our childhood.” Sophie laughed. “But seriously,” Amy continued, and she knew she wasn’t going to like what she was going to say next, “Soph, what happened to telling her about the memories? Instead, you just spied more.” “She’s the one with the sketchy past!”

“That you don’t have any right to!”

“She’s been weird and I need to figure out why. Once I do I’ll tell her everything.”

“No, you don’t need to figure it out yourself! You need to talk to her and she will tell you if she’s ready to.” “Don’t tell me what to do Amy. She lied to me. The first night we were together we talked about how we got here and she lied to me like it never happened.”

“This isn’t war Sophie. Just because you’re scared, just because she lied doesn’t mean you get to invade her privacy. She’s not the enemy Sophie, she’s your girlfriend.”

Sophie hung up and her phone buzzed twice more while she watched Linh walk back over to her. This wasn’t Amy’s problem, this wasn’t Amy’s life, so screw her for trying to tell her what to do. She had the abilities and she was sure as hell going to use them. “Sam left,” Linh said with a clearly fake smile. “Said he should probably get back on the bus and didn’t want to intrude.”

At that Sophie raised an eyebrow, she didn’t need to use her telepathy to know it was a lie.

Stepping on the bus felt like placing the weight of the world on her shoulders. She knew that man was something to Linh, or Linh was something to him; maybe he was what Linh was running from. She didn’t have regrets when she reached carefully out to Sameul’s mind and glanced at what he said to Linh. Maybe she should’ve regretted it, but she couldn’t bring herself to. She needed to know, when she had left the Lost Cities it was her way of saying “I will not be lied to even if it seems better that way”. So much had been kept from her and here she was, getting things from the source instead of waiting for someone to tell her.

The words, “You haven’t changed Linh,” rang in her ears as she pulled back, not letting any emotions show on her face as Linh followed behind her. Linh didn’t say anything so Sophie didn’t say anything and they settled into a tense silence as the bus around them buzzed with noise. Sophie tried to think of something to say as the words played on repeat in her head but Linh beat her to it.

“You never told me much about Mari, about what she means to you,” Linh said. Each word seemed rehearsed as if she had said it in her head a thousand times before speaking the words into existence. “I didn’t know you cared,” Sophie responded quickly before she could think it through.

“Tell me about Mari?” Linh asked softly.

Despite what Sophie was hiding from Linh and what Linh was hiding from her, she couldn’t stop herself from talking. The words may have meant nothing as she rambled on about her life there, only meant to be a distraction, but she let them spill from her lips without hesitation. She talked of Tommy, Angie, and Mari, of her weekly game nights, of the regulars at the diner. The people she had come to love yet when the time came she didn’t hesitate to leave ‘cause she was scared. Scared of the permanence of it, scared she’d lose herself in the dream of it. And how when she burned those bridges all she felt was a gaping hole in herself. As she talked she thought of the people she had left in the Lost Cities; how she burned it all like she had when she was young and reckless and angry burning her mark, the moonlark, into the ground desperate to prove something, desperate to mean something. But now she was afraid of that, tearing everything to shreds, burning it to ashes because she didn’t know how to mean something to someone. She thought of what Amy had said and briefly wondered if she would ever be able to just talk about something instead of treating everything as a mystery she was destined to solve. Eventually, her words lulled Linh to sleep and she let out a soft sigh of contentment as she laid her head on Sophie’s shoulder. Sophie glanced at Linh, only allowing herself a quick look at her girlfriend’s soft and relaxed face before staring out the window watching the gravel pass, not allowing herself time for her guilt and sadness to rise. She wasn’t allowed those feelings. With every fiber of herself Sophie dreaded and couldn’t wait for the moment they stepped off of the bus into Kull, the town with as weird of a name as people.

An hour later, as the sun started to fall behind the trees and the sky began to turn dark, that moment came and Sophie found her entire body filled with anxiety. They made their way to the front, Sophie in front of Linh, her hand stretched behind her holding Linh’s hand like a lifeline.

They were the only ones getting off and within seconds they were left standing on the dirt road, the bus was long gone. The air was cold, and the wind blew lightly, tossing around Sophie’s ponytail. Neither spoke to the other, standing in silence, staring at the buildings in front of them. It felt like they’d break a spell if they moved, if they talked, so Sophie didn’t. But Linh did (a spell didn’t need to last an eternity in her mind, just for the moment that it was intended for). Linh squeezed Sophie’s hand three times, dragging her out of her haze to stare at Linh confused.

“It’s a human thing,” Linh said sheepishly. Distantly Sophie remembered Amy teaching her, three squeezes, “I love you”. Four squeezes back and Sophie had said, “I love you too.” She didn’t have time to think if it was a lie because with that she started walking, entirely on autopilot, the familiar route to Mari’s house ingrained in her mind. It was after hours, so there’d be no point going to the diner. So she dragged Linh down main street, taking a left about halfway down, and then it was another block til she found herself outside the door on the white porch of the bright mobile home with her whole body buzzing. It was almost too much to be there; staring at it again it was like nothing had changed. But something had, because she didn’t have a key, and so she knocked with all of the impulsive courage she had left.

Three rapid knocks.

One. Two. Three. Four. Five seconds.

The door opened with a creak.

It wasn’t Mari.

There was a man, about her height, hair pulled in a bun and silver bangs over glasses. He was familiar, why was he familiar? Linh drew in a harsh breath of air and squeezed Sophie’s hand as tight as she could. That was when the puzzle pieces fell into place. That’s when it all made sense. The man standing in front of her was someone she hadn’t seen in two years other than in the memories she had unrightfully stolen from him. The man standing in front of her, still with his signature silver, was Tam Song.

Amy’s phone buzzed next to her, pulling her away from rereading her homework question for the eight time. Ever since Sophie’s call and her following silence Amy couldn’t focus; she tried to distract herself, and pulled herself away from texting Linh and telling her everything Sophie had told her. It’s not my place, she would think. It’s not part of the plan. Her phone unlocked and she slowly processed the photo and message. It was a picture of Sophie leaning her back against the gas station with her hand holding her phone to her ear. It was just like her co-conspirators to be that dramatic they had to send a photo too.

-Operation Collect the Dumbasses-

Braincell Holder: You know we heard that call. Pure of Heart Dumb of Ass: I thought we said that I would start this conversation? No Thoughts Head Empty: Yeah well you took too long. Braincell Holder: Not the Point. The Mental Stability: And the Point? This felt too pointed, Amy thought. Way too pointed and directed at her. Her phone buzzed again. Braincell Holder: Having second thoughts? Only slightly, Amy thought, but no no this needed to happen. The Mental Stability: No Pure of Heart Dumb of Ass: Thank the fucking ancients we can move on No Thoughts Head Empty: We’ve got a Phase 3 to begin

Phase 3, which they already had planned, would be the hardest to set up. Everything had to be just the right timing and just the right place.

Incoming call from Braincell Holder

Amy smiled as she accepted the call and long red hair popped into the frame. “Where is she?” Amy asked.

The redhead grinned, “She’ll be here in a minute, you know how Mrs. Sparkly Justice is; she’s got meetings but she said she’s got a friend who wants to help.”

Amy smiled, their little band of conspirators and their plan was working better than she could’ve imagined.

“So,” Amy said, “Where do we start?”

#appologies for italics i missed #tumblr was being shitty and i wasn't gonna do it all #kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #amy foster #sophie foster #kotlc fic #kotlc fan fic #solinh #tam song #finding home #tater writes #kotlc sophie #kotlc amy #kotlc linh #kotlc tam

[sburbian-sage]

Strifing Without Specibus: How To Weaponize Your Sylladex & Other Harming Implements

One’s Strife Specibus is one of the more important tools in the game. Defending from Underlings and PK’ers, facing down the final bosses and Unreal Heirs, fruitless sparring with your Guardians and Coplayers, and the time honored tradition of getting into dick-measuring contests with your friends, seeing who can make the coolest or most absurd method. Some people allocate their Specibus accidentally, but as their improvised weaponry grows on them, they “main” it, trying as hard as they can to keep using it in future sessions. Your average Player will use a variety of Strife Specubi, from typical weapons like bladekind, pistolkind, and hammerkind, to weird choices like bookkind, peprmillkind, or rulerkind (measuring sticks, not governing bodies). Some people choose theirs because they like it, some choose for versatility, and some choose for metagaming purposes.

Sometimes though, the Strife Specibus isn’t enough. You’ve got some wimpy kiddy scissors that just won’t cut it while an Ogre prepares to swing. You’ve got a lance, but a winged Imp flies out of reach. You’ve got enough mangrit to toss a dryer, which you conveniently have on-hand, but no dryerkind, and the strange abstracted game-y nature of reality thus prevents you from attacking with it. In such cases, instead of un-abstracting your Strife Deck for the purposes of tossing it on the floor and stepping on it, perhaps you should get good and learn how to weaponize your Sylladex.

We’ve all been there. We’re having trouble fighting things, so your smarmy know-it-all friend tells you “a hyuk hyuk why dont u fite with your sllyadex yuo fucking scrub” and then doesn’t tell you how to actually do it. So you flail around, then learn how to do it kind of, and then stop doing it and rely on your Strife Specibus. Then years later, someone with less experience than you is having trouble fighting things, so you tell them “a hyuk hyuk why dont u fite with your sllyadex yuo fucking scrub". With typos, because you’ve turned into a silly mspaint strawman comic man. And then you cry. It’s a vicious, dehumanizing cycle, and you probably want to punch that guy or yourself, but you can’t because you don’t have fistkind you fucking scrub. You also can’t throw stuff at him, because you learned the bare basics of Sylladex fighting so you’re very shitty at it. So I’m going to help you break that cycle, and teach you actual lessons of fighting with your Sylladex. That way, you can walk right up to that dude, then toss a bunch of cream pies at him, then watch him scream and cry like a silly mspaint strawman comic man. Then you can do it to your past self. Then go mad with the power of throwing things.

The Fundaments: How Do I Shot Web?

I wrote this section after all the others because I realized too late that some of you might not even know the basics of weaponizing your Sylladex. That’s sad and pathetic, but it’s not unlikely, and best to put it here now rather than get accused of putting the cart before the horse later. Basically, you know how if your Sylladex is full, if you captchalogue something else, it goes flying out at high speeds? This is the mechanic you are exploiting. Catchaloguing an item such that it ejects something you’re holding on. The following section will be divided into Taos (even more fundamentals) and Zens (more advanced tricks), because I read a book that did this once and I thought that was cool.

Also, you should know that Hope players will be better than you at this. [Eject] is a Hope-exclusive ability that automatically ejects something from their Sylladex, and it’s very easy to learn, and it completely removes half the challenge from weaponizing your Sylladex (that is, finding something to put into the thing). While you’re scrambling for rocks so you can launch your fridge, they’ll be launching fridges at a whim. If you’re not a Hope player, then do what everyone else does. Bitch about it and move on.

Tao of Sylladex Strife: Know Your Fetch Modus

If you’re going to be using your Sylladex to fight, know how it works. Even babies know how to pick stuff up, but sometimes babies get confused by how their particular Fetch Modus actually works. And maybe you’ll get confused even if you’re not a baby (read: teenager), particularly if you get dropped into a new Session and the guy whose place you’re taking is a hipster and decided to grab one of the most esoteric Fetch Modi known to man. So make sure, before you even THINK of mis-using your Sylladex for violent purposes, that you understand how it works. And check the back, because there might be settings.

Once you’ve done that, you need to re-learn it again. This time, understand how it works in combat. Particularly, how does it eject, and how can you use it? FIFO and FILO Sylladice will eject the earliest item. Hashmap ejects the item occupying the slot you’re attempting to fill. Tree doesn’t eject so much as stuff falls. Array is wonderful for inventory management (even though I prefer Index), but it ejects stuff randomly. Enabling the “detect collisions” setting also makes inventory management easier, but considerably slows down the speed at which you can weaponize your Sylladex. How long does it take to actually captchalogue items? Is it complicated, or unwieldy? When something gets ejected, how does it fly? It’s somewhat complex, re-assessing your understanding of your Sylladex, but some general tips are as follows.

Knowing what will eject is better than random ejection.

More space means more stockpiling, but it becomes harder to keep track of your stuff.

Less space means you know your inventory better, but you have less room to maneuver and can’t stockpile as well.

Turn off “detect collisions” if you want to use your Sylladex in battle.

Short and uncomplicated captchalogue mechanics are better.

Tao of Sylladex Strife: Know Your Inventory

Now that you understand how your Fetch Modus functions, you need to understand its contents. Your Sylladex will serve two functions. An inventory, and an arsenal. “Inventory” basically means “stuff for use in puzzles and alchemy”, “arsenal” means “stuff I will use to commit murder with”. Just as it’s good to have a Fetch Modus that can serve those two functions, it’s good to have a balanced inventory. Key items, and tossable junk items. It’s also important that you know what’s going to be used. Safely take out keys, and toss your dishwasher, not the Glass Orb of Not Softlocking The Game.

As for your arsenal, understand what does and doesn’t make an effective weapon. Straight razors and sharp and fly fast and long, but they’re small and might break. Fridges are big and heavy, so they’ll do a lot of damage, but also destroy the environment and have bad range. Make sure as shit you’re out of range of your impact bombs when you let them loose, and don’t toss garden gnomes if you’re trying to knock back a Giclops. While they fill the role of bullets (with the Sylladex as the gun), they’re more like specialized tools that are all used by hurling them at people you don’t like.

Tao of Sylladex Strife: Know Your Surroundings.

Understanding your battlefield is not only important in general warfare, it’s also important when considering your throwables. While most Players who stick to their guns (so to speak) will mainly traverse their Land only looking for that which is essential to winning the game, you need to traverse it while understanding it on two levels.

The first level is the Strategic Level. Understanding your Land as a whole, and how to utilize the TOYS (Tools Of Your Surroundings) within. If you find yourself low on Sylladex weapons, where you can stock up, and what will you be stocking up on? What’s the fastest route to those locations from where you are? Does a certain location have better weaponry for the specific foes you’ll face later on? Stuff like that.

The second level is the Tactical Level. This is understanding your immediate surroundings while in a fight. What items can you quickly get to? Which ones should be used for ejection, which are best for softening the enemy up, and which are best for dealing lethal blows? Is it at all possible to make new items, like smashing the tile floors or breaking a window and captchaloguing the ensuing debris?

It’s a bit difficult to give blanket lessons on this Tao, but it’s always keep an analytical eye. You should know where your TOYS are before you need them, lest you get caught with your pants down.

Zen of Sylladex Strife: Art of the Adventure Gamer

You could tag SBURB as a lot of games. AR MMO survival psychological action adventure with house sim elements. Early-access too, considering how shitty it is. But don’t forget the adventure part. Have you ever played those point-and-click adventure games like Monkey Island or Sam & Max, and been amused with how the protagonists will take completely random and sometimes absurd objects because they could be useful? Well stop smiling, because they’re always right and you need to start doing that too.

First of all, you should already have been doing that. SBURB is also a puzzle game, and not only can potentially any item help you with puzzles, but every item could be useful for Alchemy purposes. Well now you need to add “killing stuff” to the list of potential uses for every item. Diagnose yourself with severe kleptomania and start acting like it. Grab everything you can! Use everything on everything! Stack up on Captchalogue Cards! Seriously, they’re dirt cheap for the Alchemiter. And speaking of Alchemy...

Zen of Sylladex Strife: Alchemy Isn’t Just For Weapons

Everybody loves going down to their Alchemy Pad and making new weapons, new armor, new tools, and a whole lot of useless bullshit. It reminds them of the satisfaction of upgrading their equipment or buying a new level of gear in the other video games they’ve played. Those video games, however, also tend to teach you that upgrading your ammunition or spending money on special ammo is a waste of time. It is, but not necessarily in SBURB. While improvised weaponry for Sylladex fighting is comparable to ammo, the ease of Alchemy means that not only is is usually cheap to make “upgraded ammo”, but they can be pretty effective. For example, throwing a couch at someone will hurt. Steel nails are very easy to acquire. A bit of Grist and the || function later, and you’re throwing a steel couch at someone. Not to mention, like that couch, some ammo is easy to retrieve. So next time you settle down to celebrate Gristmas, consider loading your Sylladex with some harmful objects.

Zen of Sylladex Strife: Mod Your Modus

Now that you know you should know your Sylladex, you should begin experimenting with it. If you can, grab a Modus Control Deck and a couple of extra Fetch Modii. If not, then you could try Alchemy or perhaps programming. Mix-and-match modii until you have something stronger, then once you’re settled, get to understanding that. Try to find a way to circumvent the weaknesses of the one you’re currently using. It’s kind of like sitting down at a gun bench, except your gun should also be able to carry stuff effectively, and is infinitely more confusing to comprehend.

Speaking of the Modus Control Deck, remember that you can use it to change the Fetch Modus you’re currently using. It’s possible to change Fetch Modii manually, but I find the MCD is more elegant and simple. So it might be a good idea to have several Modii for several occasions, and use the one you think you’ll be needing. For example, use something Inventory-suited like Index when exploring, and when you’re expecting a fighter, switch to something Arsenal-suited like Fingerbands. Just remember to not displace the MCD, or you’ll be running around with the one you’re using forever.

Zen of Sylladex Strife: Fighting At Full Power

This is the Zen that makes you feel like a warrior. If you intend to fight with your Sylladex, you need to remember that it is one of at least two weapons at your disposal. You also have a Strife Specibus. You must use both if you want to truly succeed. Throw something heavy at a Giclops, then pepper him with bullets. When locking blades with a Lich, stun him with a surprise vase, then riposte. I once saw a guy with Hammerkind augment the swing of his sledge with a safe going at breakneck speed, so his strike went at terminal velocity and tore a Basilisk in half. You’re going to have to learn how your Strife Specibus factors into all of this, and probably practice, but by mixing conventional warfare with captchalogue warfare, you become significantly harder to predict, and much more deadly.

#sburb #replay value au #sylladex #strife

[happikattwuzheere]

the one where gansey befriends a deer: the au

hey remember that time ronan dreamed up a deer that was described with language suspiciously similar to how adam’s described, because i sure do!!! anyway

OK.

ok. so. this au’s actually evolved a lot since its initial already-pretty-fleshed-out inception one sleepless night, so me talking about it’s gonna be more than one post, but here’s the first one well actually the second technically yesterday’s warmup doodles were also from this au but i didnt talk about it at all so

and I’m gonna start with more or less the same pitch I gave to a couple people on discord

SO. starting out: it’s standard fantasy times, vaguely medieval but no specific time period because I don’t care enough to be digging into that quite frankly, but it is somewhere in England where this is happening. Story starts with just Gansey, Ronan, and Noah. Fey are very real and known entities and there’s been a conflict in England between the fey and humans, if not in the whole country then at least in the lands that the Ganseys are the lords of but probably the whole island tbh, and Gansey’s not inherited the lands yet but he’s going to and wants to maybe find a peaceful resolution to the conflict. It’s not open warfare by any means but it’s been a big problem. 

To the effect of solving that, he heads to some little village that I haven’t named but it’s right next to a known fey forest called Cabeswater. This village has avoided being stomped by the local fey because, despite witches not being particularly liked by the nobility of the time, there’s a big old coven (the psychics of Fox Way, essentially) situated right by this village that’s kept things in check. Gansey’s made his excuses to his parents about why he’s officially going there but really he wants to talk to the witches and get a better grasp of the conflict from the people actually dealing with it.  He and Ronan set out from home together, pick up Noah along the way--who is not a ghost in this AU, he’s a fey who owes Gansey a life debt, that’s a whole other post and THIS post is mostly about gansey and adam--but anyway they get to this village and NOBODY gives gansey the time of day. 

the witches don’t let him into their house because they don’t like the nobility right back thanks and the next time he tries to visit Cabeswater won’t even let him get to the coven’s dwelling, the one witch’s daughter who regularly stops by the village for supplies and to check if anyone needs anything has a big argument with him the first time he talks to her so that’s going nowhere, and, well, the villagers are polite, but they clearly don’t take him seriously. He’s just the lordling playing at things and potentially meddling in their business to them.

So he starts hanging out just barely within Cabeswater, even though he knows that’s not wise, because he finds this perfect spot by a stream, and he’ll sit out there and think and work on the journal he keeps of all his thoughts and plans, and one day while he’s there has a straight up Disney princess experience when a deer stops by the stream and seems incredibly unafraid of him. he cherishes the experience but accepts that it probably won’t happen again.

and then it does. several times. gansey’s losing his mind. this deer??? apparently likes listening to him info dump?? it’s very therapeutic and also very magical and he’s amazed 

a few times in, he names the deer “Pryderi” after a character from a welsh legend, because “such a handsome creature deserves a princely name,” [[muffled blue laughing and whispering “princely” in the distance]], and he tells ronan and noah about this experience but ronan doesn’t believe him at ALL. 

one time after gansey’s particularly upset at how bad his attempts at getting along with the villagers, Pryderi actually lets Gansey touch him for the first time and gansey cannot shut up about it to ronan who’s finally like “i think you’re bullshitting me about this deer thing. im coming with you next time” and gansey’s like “well he’s a deer he might not show up if a stranger’s around and he doesn’t come every time i go down there anyway” and ronan’s like “this sounds like a lot of excuses, dick, you’re not making me believe you any more with this” and gansey’s like “>8\” 

but pryderi does show up, and gansey is delighted, and ronan stares really hard at him and then goes 

and gansey’s like what? nooo. but ronan keeps arguing it for the duration of the visit and the deer actually starts to look annoyed and at the end ganseys like ok maybe but i doubt it. and then hes like “well since you are a fey apparently (/sarcasm) i ought to say farewell with respect” and bows very mockingly and then the deer makes direct eye contact with ronan and bows back and gansey loses his shit

gansey continues meeting up with pryderi but even while his infodumping still happens it does so now with the knowledge that He Does Actually Understand What Im Saying, he may be a fey but he seems like a friendly one and hey that’s way more than gansey thought he would get out here, and also this deer is his friend now thanks, 

he, ronan, and noah (who’s amused by Pryderi but keeps his main thoughts to himself for now) make some excursions into cabeswater, but the thing is noah’s not really native to england, he’s from the european mainland, again i’ll get to it in another post sometime, but. he can sort of help navigate cabeswater but not all THAT well so they get lost a couple times, and every time it does happen pryderi shows up and helps guide them out. there’s some very funny moments of a very jealous ronan getting into weird conflict w/ a very smug deer 

anyWAY one day there’s like a festival, everyone’s drunk because its the middle ages and there’s not really a drinking age, gansey’s making another effort to make friends with anyone, and this one guy about his own age is like “ok look here i’ll teach you the folk dance everyone’s doing ok?” and gansey spends the night dancing w/ a handsome stranger, yes he will recognize the irony in the morning, but for now it goes. well badly because they’re both drunk but it’s fun, and then the guy says “ah, fuck it, i’ll finish teaching you next time we see each other” and gansey’s like “thats a little forward but ok!” and the guy (adam. its adam) panics and leaves while gansey’s back is turned and gansey doesn’t remember that last snippet of conversation the next day nor can he quite recall the stranger’s face. ronan does, because he was watching and not sure which of the two he was jealous of, but neither of them has any idea who the guy actually was. 

and then like, 3 days later, gansey falls asleep at the spot he usually hangs out in in cabeswater and wakes up in the early evening just in time to hear people yelling and for Pryderi to burst into view with an arrow in his flank. he collapses in a bush. gansey snaps into “protect friend” mode and gets the hunters off his trail by being all “oh a strange buck? i saw it pass that way over there friend!” and then when they’re gone he comes back and is all “alright pryderi they’re gone, let me just--” except pryderi’s not a deer anymore. it’s a boy. 

(Adam. its adam. the deer is adam.) 

gansey takes him home, gets the arrow out, noah’s like “i mean he’s not a fey, i dont know what turning into a deer is about but if he were fey the iron in that arrow would already have him dead. he might be partially fey but so little that he’s human in the ways that really matter”, over the next couple days they figure out that pryderi is in fact from the village and is a young man named adam parrish who’s been labelled a changeling and is assumed dead since he was yknow shot, gansey decides for now its probably best to keep him that way, but adam’s not getting better--apparently even having had the arrow in him as briefly as he did has poisoned him, he’s desperately ill and on the third day is finally like “get persephone” so gansey tries again (he’s tried several times over these days, they’d worked out that to have survived this long he must have someone else with a small degree of fey blood teaching him the ropes and the most likely suspects are the witches, but he’s hoping adam specifically asking him to will grant him permission enough to go in) and runs into a very frantic blue en route who as soon as he makes it clear he’s got adam is like “move your ass over on that horse im climbing on too” 

they get persephone, who turns into a fox rather than a deer, she saves adam, everythings cool except adam’s pissy now because he cant go back to the village and he has to give up on the attempts he had in the works to get out of town by working his way out and he takes it out on gansey who doesnt deserve it because this friendship is a mess, he’ll feel bad and take it back eventually but thats yet more posts ANYWAY YEAH theres our starting point 

(also worth noting: due to cabeswater being Right There,  p much everyone in this village actually has a small degree of fey blood, adam just won the genetic lottery) 

tl;dr adam’s a fey-blooded witch’s apprentice and he’s been the deer the whole time and thats the start of this au ty for coming to this ramble 

#longpost #trc #the raven cycle #lolsketch #gonna make separate posts w/ just the art in a sec #anyway i love this au with all of my heart its extremely self indulgent #deer boy au #because thats what ive been shorthanding it to