#if you have trouble getting validation irl as is the case for many of us

[nobody7102]

Normally I don’t post shit like this but it’s come to my attention that some people A) Don’t know how to have a civil discussion and B) Don’t know how to hate on characters without hating on actors(unless the actors actually have done something to deserve it)

(This is a targeted post)

Everyone is allowed to have opinions, in the US that’s the whole fucken point of the first amendment. HOWEVER, when you do clearly use that for your points without any regard for other people’s opinions and belittle others for their opinions that’s when you become hypocritical and the issues start.

You can dislike characters that’s fine, but unnecessarily hate on the actors who’ve done nothing wrong is different(separate Actors from Characters!)

You post your own opinion yet you have no respect or regard for other people. You ignore the valid evidence and reasons others try to show you and spew utter bullshit when actually asked for valid reasons for the hate you give.

We understand, you have so much hatred and disrespect towards anyone that isn’t Matt Murdock/Charlie Cox. The double standard you have are amazing, truly.

Normally I’m not one to police in the Marvel fandom because lord knows so many people already do it but when you spew so much bullshit to the point where I can’t tell your mouth from your asshole, then yeah I’m gonna say something about it.

A) First and foremost leave actors/character’s appearance out of the conversation/equation when you try to make a point. As soon as you bring up how “ugly” someone is you’ve fucken lost, apperence is never a valid/good argument (regardless how “ugly” a character or actor may be)

B) You get so pressed when other fans/people express their love for characters/actors(EX: Foggy Nelson and Karen Page) yet you expect people not to get pressed whe. You show hatred for the character and their IRL counterparts? How the fuck dose that work?

Again I’m not normally one to say “oh that’s not comic accurate” or “go look at the comic/have you even read the comics” bc lord knows I don’t read all the comics, but when you show so much disregard not only for the people/actors who provide you with the content/storylines you are so blatantly scrutinizing I’m gonna be a little bit of a gatekeeper.

Foggy Nelson was the whole reason “Nelson and Murdock” was even a thing to begin with. Foggy was Matt’s only friend until Karen was introduced, he has kept Matt on his feet and out of so much fucken trouble. Without Foggy who the fuck knows where Matt would be.

Karen Page was their first case. Without Karen “Nelson and Murdock” would have ended after they left “Landman and Zach” because they weren’t getting cases. Yes Karen is an amazing investigative journalist, she is the reason we/the public know everything we do about Wilson Fisk. Sure she didn’t “earn” her job at the Bulliten but she sure as shit proved that she deserved to be there.

Not to mention Season 3 Episode 13, Titled “A New Napkin”: after Fisks incarceration Foggy, Karen and Matt sit down in “Nelson’s Meats” and Foggy writes down “Nelson, Murdock and Page” implying that Karen will/wants to become a lawyer or at least help further in some way other than just being an assistant/office manager.

Foggy and Karen helped shape Matt as a character. Don’t disregard their efforts.

Yes character make stupid decisions all the fucking time: the whole point of the show is showing Matt Murdock being a fucking dumbass as he saves the city/Hells Kitchen.

But Matt isn’t the only character that saves the city, sure he does by being a vigilante but Karen and Foggy help the people of the city by being a voice for them as well as with how they help Matt.

Don’t even try to belittle actors because without actors you wouldn’t even have shit to shove in your mouth. The actors are fucking phenomenal so don’t belittle their work because I know you wouldn’t want someone to belittle your work. (Also Deborah Ann Woll and Elden Henson are fucken hot)

Yes everyone is allowed to have their opinions.

But if you disregard THE SOURCE MATERIAL of the effort which you hate upon as well as the efforts of the actors/people who provid you with the content, AND show so much disrespect towards them and other fans. You loose that right the moment you become a bitter bitch about everything.

There is so much evidence that proves how vital Karen and Foggy are to Daredevil/Matt’s story.

Just because they’re small parts doesn’t mean that their efforts are.

(Also quick edit: Elektra is “dead” her not coming back isn’t racially motivated(coming from an Asian American I can speech first hand about expressing racial motivations) it’s The Hand preparing her for rebirth and to come back as Black Sky, calm the fuck down. Not to mention: ELODIE YUNG’S CAREER IS GROWING! She had other projects and priorities currently(yes they could recast her but I’m sure she’s probably open to coming back) she has her new show on Fox, and she’s very clearly invested in other things currently)

#netflix daredevil #daredevil netflix #daredevil #matt murdock #matthew murdock #Matthew Micheal Murdock #karen page #no karen slander #Foggy Nelson #no Foggy slander #franklin nelson #charlie cox #deborah ann woll #elden henson #nelson and murdock #nelson murdock and page #marvel #mcu #disney

[sweetrays]

About me: 

Just call me by my username I don't like using real names anymore

(bisexual transsexual male & 2 yrs on T) 

I write novels, short stories, and fanfiction

I draw novel illustrations and favorite characters

I'm autistic and therefore can be perceived  a little bit strange 

My dominant special interest fandom wise is Peter Pan stories. (Hook is my absolute favourite Peter Pan movie. You'll mostly see me talking about the character Rufio) 

I liked OUAT Peter Pan for a little while last year but it's not my thing anymore 

My other special interest is historical (mostly 19th century) fashion

A quick heads up:

I enjoy NSFW art, but I don't post any. There might be some reblogging of that here occasionally. 

A lot of the fanfictions I post are openly based off- have some sort of connection to my somewhat disturbing fetishes that involve characters dying or being hurt

I know some might not be comfortable with that.

If you'd like to be my friend please just skim through the readmore just in case you find my opinions distasteful. If you do, just block me I don't want trouble

My Internet Discourse Opinions

Stupid but very important in order to avoid ugly confrontations nowadays 🙁

"Proshipping" 

-the good pure holy shipping vs. icky yucky nasty evil creepy freak shipping stuff is bullshit. If you give me/a mutual shit over FICTIONAL ship your ass is getting blocked cause that's just a whole nother level of ridiculous. I do not condone the bullying and harassment that is so common in 'woke' fandom culture nowadays. It is disgusting that people are throwing around paraphilic accusations and words like p**o at innocent fanfiction authors who are just enjoying characters with no real malicious intentions. 

I come across ships on ao3 that absolutely disgust me on a day to day basis, even so, the last thing I'd want to do is be mean to the author/anyone who enjoyed that ship. That's because the author has just as much a right to write about just as I have the right to be uncomfortable. No character ship is illegal and people are allowed to be as gross or weird as they like as long as it remains fictional (which in 99.99% of cases no one is actively trying to encourage and/or normalising pairing that would be illegal irl) That's never how fandom, art, or fiction has ever worked. If you think otherwise, all I'm saying is you have some serious issues and you need help. 

When I write an age gap pairing I don't parade my fic around going "EVERYBODY START DATING YOUR FATHER!!" I tag with many warnings to avoid upsetting people who would be opposed to reading it + add a disclaimer explaining how I do not support such things in real life situations because I don't and neither does anyone else who ships 'problematic' things. 

Transgender discourse (neopronouns, etc) 

As a transgender male myself, I don't care what pronouns someone uses or what gender they claim to be. I am pro-block anti-harassment when I see someone I disagree with. 

However, I do block quite liberally when I see people saying that transgenderism is possible without dysphoria. Because it is not. Being trans is not a choice. Dysphoria is the cause of being trans. Even if it's just a tiny bit of dysphoria you are still valid. If you're a feminine presenting trans male, that is fine, if you're a masculine presenting trans female, that's fine too because even if you're trans you absolutely do not have to abide by society's confining gender stereotypes. 

But, if you are feminine presenting non-dysphoric afab going by he/him or a masculine presenting non-dysphoric amab going by she/her. That is not transgender. You just picked different pronouns. Which again, I don't care about the pronouns thing so whatever, but just please don't call that transgender because my brother in Christ, we are not the same. 

Therefore please leave me alone if: 

You have some sort of weirdly obsessive morality/legality bias against people minding their own business with character shipping in fandom

OR

Think that being trans is a choice. 

Thats all, have a nice day. Don't forget to block if you don't like me lol.

[seaquestions]

can't help but be worried about young ppl who get a huge following online. i can speak from personal experience that getting a sizeable amount of notes on the art i made when i was like 12-13 was really cool... but also pretty Damaging in hindsight! and i was only a fraction of what kind of attention you can get online. even now as an adult, knowing that i'm considered an Internet Person™️/Content Creator™️ to some degree, it fucks with your mind sometimes. hate to sound like a boomer but i don't think it's healthy to have Such an online presence especially as a teen,, it worries me.

#incoherent turtle noises #between the numbers and the internalisation and all the freaks that are bound to interact with you.. #and Especially developing an addiction #i know it sounds silly/old to say aloud but it’s true #if you have trouble getting validation irl as is the case for many of us #it becomes easy to be addicted to getting it online. and sometimes that can break you.

[lazyliars]

/rp

Before I get into it, I want to state that is EXPLICITLY an analysis of the Characters, and is not intended to touch on how the cc’s played them in a meta sense unless specifically stated otherwise.

Also, this is technically a part two to my other post, which took a more in depth look at Techno and Phil’s reactions to Tommy’s death. It’s not necessary when reading this post, but I don’t address their reactions here.

So. The question must be asked.

Are we [the Syndicate] the baddies?

Yes.

The End.

 Why are the Syndicate the baddies?

They got damn logo is a wither skull.

The End.

That's not how this works.

Yeah, yeah. You’re right.

The Syndicate's goals as an organization are not inherently bad. They seem to have good intentions behind them, and the focus on the freedom of it's individual group members is important to remember when talking about it; It is not a government. There is no hierarchical power system. No one is forced to do anything against their will, or surrender any of their rights or power to remain a member. It is not a government.

I also want to address Techno and Phil backing Ranboo into a corner – I see them getting a lot of flack for this, but I personally do not think it is relevant to the greater discussion, or necessarily representative of any contradictions within the organization. It was clearly played for laughs, and after they back off they clarify to Ranboo that they won't force him. Then later when Phil and Ranboo are alone, Ranboo feels safe enough to express that he felt like he was pressured into it, and Phil assures him he is allowed to leave whenever he wants; He is not being forced to do anything, and he is not being coerced or blackmailed.

None of the Syndicate members have done any wrongs against each other in the context of the Syndicate, OR gone against any of the Syndicate's core principles.

That, said, holy shit are they the baddies.

Listen, there's trying to telegraph a meaning or message to the audience and then there's having your logo be wither skulls on blackstone. That is straight out of the skit I keep referencing, seriously.

Okay, but, they laughed at it! It was played as a joke, just like the Ranboo thing!

The Ranboo thing was improv, the Syndicate's headquarters were planned – the artistic choices that they made reflect on what role they want the build and the organization inhabiting it to play in the future storylines.

Wither Skulls kind of have some CONNOTATIONS. Techno is an English major, I don't think he chose the most threatening imagery possible on accident, and then joked about the way people would interpret it just to stir the pot. This reads as hugely intentional.

And beyond that, the jokes they make during this part aren't “haha yeah, we look bad but we're actually good!” they're “you can tell by looking at these that we're the good guys wink wink, this is good guy stuff right here :)” It is a joke about how they are definitely not the good guys. This isn't even a case of unreliable narrators, this is one step down from flat out saying the meta intent.

But okay, I hear you, I'm talking about things that haven't happened yet. The Syndicate hasn't used any Withers, they could be an aesthetic choice.  Lets look at what they do in practice.

So, they barge into private property, assess Snowchester's right to continue existing based entirely on their own ideals of what Freedom is, and then only once Tubbo assures them that they have no standing leader do they grant the place their approval to, and I gotta stress this part, continue existing.

 In my Quackity meta, I already talked about how Government in the context of a M1necraft RP cannot be compared to IRL Governments on a one-to-one scale. They don't serve the same purposes or have the same type of power. What I didn't talk about was Agency in the context of m1necraft governments.

In an irl government, if you are born into one, you can't really leave without committing a massive overhaul on your life, which can be expensive and difficult, if not impossible for many people. Even in a “benevolent” government, the simple physicality of where you were born can prevent you from leaving it easily.

The same hurdles do not exist in the Dream SMP. People who join M1necraft governments choose to. They want to, either at the beginning when they form one, or later on when they join up. So far, no Government has just Sprung Up and forced the current residents of an area to become dependent on them, except maybe the Eggpire, who's status as a government is... shakey.

And even when people want to leave or separate from the government, they have been historically able to do so without any trouble or any effort from said governments to stop them. Jack Manifold emancipated from Manberg. Fundy and Quackity both left to start new nations. In all cases they were allowed to do so without any attempts on the part of the governments to stop them, either through force, or institutions preventing them from doing so.

The most anyone has lost when leaving a government is their house, which is still usually their property anyway, and is something that is easily rebuilt elsewhere and is inconvenient to move anyway.

The only exceptions to this might be Schlatt exiling Wilbur and Tommy - but even then, they weren’t trying to leave, they were trying to get back in, and of course the original L’manberg revolution, where Dream attempted to force L’manberg back into the Dream SMP, which wasn’t even a government at that point in time.

I don’t consider Phil’s house arrest an example of a government forcing someone to stay a citizen - that was treated less as a matter of a citizen wanting to leave the country and more as a threat to national security. Still pretty fucked up, but it’s a different issue.

What I'm saying is, If Tubbo wants to create a government out in the middle of nowhere, threatening no one, forcing no one to join either through force or desperation, and allowing people to join willingly because they want to, then he should be allowed to do that.

The Irony of the Syndicate, a group of people consisting of some of the richest, strongest people on the server, going around and enforcing 'Freedom' that entails no one person having more power than any other, is absurd. 

It shows an extreme lack of self-awareness and/or self-righteousness, as they seem to think that they deserve to be the ones who decide what constitutes a government.

Snowchester is a small independent nation - they shouldn’t have to live in fear of being obliterated if they don’t walk on eggshells to meet an arbitrary standard decided by people who’s only authority on the matter COMES FROM THEIR PERSONAL POWER. No one elected them! No one chose them! They were not “approved” by the server at large to enact this kind of law.

The Syndicate are not a government, but they are an unsupervised power structure exerting their ideals on a land that did not ask for them. Like, These people have invented an actual Authoritarian-Anarchist faction. How the hell did they manage this?????

Back on topic.

Tubbo shows them the crater left by his nukes. The reaction is oddly positive – the nukes are fine by the morals of the Syndicate, apparently. I'd argue that they come across as more impressed than anything else; they seem to respect Tubbo for having gotten ahold of “real” power.

(There's a few good memes out there about “We can excuse nuclear weaponry, but we draw the line at Government!”)

So. By the Syndicate's standards: A single person or group of acceptably equal persons with weapons of mass-destruction are only worth “keeping an eye on” because they might provoke other people.

Like, I consider Project Dreamcatcher to be one of, if not the most morally ambiguous thing Tubbo has ever done, largely because it was all on his own initiative. He holds some culpability for The Butcher Army and Phil's house arrest, but they weren't his ideas and he was mostly following Quackity at that point.

And Phil tells Tubbo, IMMEDIATELY AFTER SEEING THE NUCLEAR CRATER:

“Looks like you've reformed a little bit Tubbo, I'm proud.”

And it's fine. Crimes against nature? Fine. A sign of healing in fact!! Tubbo is having a sweeeelll time and he definitely didn't make these nukes specifically in fear of being attacked by these exact people! Tubbo is doing great. Tubbo is doing fine. Tubbo. is. FINE.

Anyway.

I don't think this presentation of the Syndicate was an accident. Looking at the greater lore of SMP right now, after the Egg is done, their list of enemies is slim, and considering that they seem solely invested in taking down governments, that leaves maybe Snowchester, Kinoko Kingdom, and Eret and the greater Dream SMP.

Snowchester has not been shown to be corrupt, evil, or have any intent to go down that route. The most ambiguous thing they've done is, again, is the nukes. Other than that, it's pretty much your average cottagecore snow village.

Kinoko is presented in an even more morally 'good' light, Karl having founded it specifically for his Time-travel library purposes, which are currently being treated by the narrative as a selfless act, if not downright heroic.

Eret is also a fairly 'good' aligned character atm. He's been on that redemption grind since the og betrayal, and doesn't seem keen on backtracking. He's actively tried to leverage his position as king to make things better, and hasn't been quiet about that. He was also 'validated' by Tommy*, a character who has been described both by his allies and enemies as “the hero,” so take that as you will.

What I'm getting at is, all of the current potential enemies for the Syndicate aside from the Egg, are currently being cast as 'good,' and if they were to be attacked, they would undoubtedly have the moral high-ground, unless something drastically changed.

The only potential shakeups I can think of is are a Dream escape and/or a Wilbur revival, both of which could draw the Syndicate's attention and ire, depending on how things go. That said, it's just as likely that either or both of them would join the Syndicate – Dream still has that favor, and Phil and Techno both seemed to think Wilbur would've agreed with their blowing up L'manberg.

Both of those characters are currently **villains – the fact that they're both prime candidates for the Syndicate is a huge indication of the direction it's going to go as the plot moves forward.

((*I know some people are gonna come at me for painting Tommy as the “deciding factor” of what is morally good, so lemme just stop you there. I'm not talking about Tommy somehow having the 'right' to decide who is and isn't good, and definitely not the right to decide who should and shouldn't be king. I'm saying that Tommy, a character who the narrative treats as, if not a good person, then a person who is trying to be good, was in support of Eret, a character who has also been trying to be good.

Eret doesn't gain the moral highground because Tommy said so, he gets it because a character who the narrative treats as trying to do better, acknowledged Eret's earnest attempts at doing the same.

**I'm referring to Wilbur here as a villain because Tommy seemed convinced he would be if he were to be brought back. There is always the possibility that he's wrong.))

So, to summarize this: I read the Syndicate as being intentionally positioned as future antagonists, if not outright villains of a future arc. They are NOT a Government but their goals are contradictory with their means, and it is important to keep in mind that they plan to enforce their own brand of freedom on people who did not grant them either the authority or permission to do so.

So, uh. Can you tell I loved these streams? They were seriously so good. I kept switching between Ranboo and Techno's POV's trying to keep up with everything. I still have to watch Niki's!

All in all, I'm super, super excited for whats coming next, egg stuff, Syndicate stuff, Tommy stuff, all of it.

#dream smp #tubbo #the syndicate #c!techno critical #c!phil critical #dream smp analysis #lazytext

[kirksfattitties]

asks you can smell the privilege and internalized ableism radiate from

(tw for ableism and other bigoted implications)

i’m bad at reading tone but even i understand that this is 100% you being condescending and trying to cover it up with smiley faces and false sincerity. and i don’t appreciate that.

before i get into deconstructing your shitty ableist argument, i want to explain the reasons i believe in self diagnosis (self-dx):

even professional diagnosis doesn’t start with a doctor diagnosing you. there has to be a reason for seeing the doctor. some people see a doctor in their adult life because they’re struggling, some people are taken by their parents, some people are referred or suggested that they see a specialist. whatever it is, you don’t just see a doctor and they magically give you a neurodivergency. people have neurodivergencies before they see doctors and even if they NEVER see a doctor.

the psychiatry system is flawed in MANY ways and to say that it isn’t means you’re denying the experiences of people with less privledge than yourself. also like psychiatry isn’t gonna suck your dick. you don’t have to be a bootlicker lol

in many places (hi hello i’m from america where our government tries to indirectly kill us by not providing us with adequate healthcare! i and many other people have many issues we can’t get fixed because simply our government cares more about the economy than us), seeing a psychiatrist or a therapist or going to a mental hospital or WHATEVER is INCREDIBLY expensive. and to assume that everyone has access and enough time/money/energy/transportation/whatever to do all of that is classist and elitist.

ANYTHING medical (including mental health) is biased towards white cis men. most studies are done on white cis men/boys. because of this, people who aren’t white cis men (or people who aren’t perceived as white cis men) are often not diagnosed. the system is racist. the system is sexist. the system is transphobic. people don’t know how to diagnose autism or adhd or personality disorders or other neurodivergencies or even mental illnesses in black people and other people of color, in women, in trans people, etc. and GOD FORBID someone be in multiple (or all) of those categories. saying “just go get diagnosed :)” is a privileged statement to make.

shocker! the psychiatry system is also ableist. if you’re already diasabled (whether it be mental or physical) and you see a doctor about ANOTHER disability? the doctor is most likely going to shoot you down. or at least be weary about someone having mutliple disabilities.

also most people who diagnose are neurotypical. they have never and will probably never experience neurodivergency so they can never fully understand it. they operate off of stereotypes of neurodivergent people and usually only stereotypical behavior of neurodivergent white cis men (which, as i mentioned before, is problematic for anyone who isn’t a white cis man). neurotypical diagnosers don’t know the neurodivergent culture and aren’t trained to recognize very common things (like masking for example).

a professional diagnosis can also be weaponized. not everyone can get a professional diagnosis because there are some neurodivergencies (such as autism and personality disorders) and mental illnesses (like depression) that can have legal and medical respercussions to have in your record. trans people can be denied medical and legal transition for being professionally diagnosed. people can lose custody battles for being professionally diagnosed. a professional diagnosis can be used as justification for taking away someone’s body autonomy (especially if that person is also physically disabled).

a LOT of neurodivergencies also have some type of symptom (or symptoms) that make it difficult to interact with people. troubles recognizing facial expressions, troubles understanding certain phrases and types of speech, paranoid about people, audio processing issues, being nonverbal in an environment that doesn’t accommodate for it, overstimulation, extreme social anxiety, discomfort in new situations, problems with eye contact, and a lot more. because like. for many nd people, interacting with people is very difficult and stressful. and hey. if you want to get a professional diagnosis? take a WILD guess what you have to do? FUCKING INTERACT with people! LIKE?? JEHDJJDKEKKDKDKDS. do you know how many professionally diagnosed nd people i know who made their appointment COMPLETELY on their own without help from a parent or family member or friend? LITERALLY ZERO! and i know A FEW nd people who have professional diagnoses! so if someone has social issues that prevent them from doing tasks like calling and making an appointment, showing up for an appointment, talking during the appointment, etc and ALSO doesn’t have familial or friend support (because newsflash! people who are friends/family of disabled people can still be ableist)? almost impossible to get a diagnosis! plus, the diagnosis process is TIME CONSUMING. not everyone can focus on a task for that long and not everyone can miss work/school for that long.

so those are the reasons i support self-dx. (although there’s probably more that i’m forgetting but i have adhd and it’s hard for me to remember things!)

so hopefully you now understand my reasons for believing in self-dx, and perhaps even you’re pro-self-dx now because before you were just uneducated on these issues and how they impact people who aren’t you.

but in case you’re still anti-self-dx and probably hate already-marginalized neurodivergent people, let’s talk about this horrendous ask (series of asks, actually) that i got sent. i feel like i can feel the self hatred and internalized ableism OOZING from this ask and into my inbox, so thanks for that i guess /s

“Sometimes people who self diagnose can take away from those who are actually nd, even sometimes from themselves.”

starting out strong with the ableism on this one by separating people into “self diagnosed” and “actually nd” people. self diagnosed people ARE actually nd

there’s not a limited number of nd resources. this isn’t a math equation of only x amount of people can be nd because there’s only y amount of resources. more people realizing they’re nd will actually MAKE more resources for nd people and will bring more awareness to being nd

even IF someone self diagnosed, and they go back on it later, what harm was done? they learned some coping mechanisms? they made some nd friends? neither of those are problematic and i think they’re both actually very helpful. i think nt people SHOULD learn more about nd people and stuff because i think that will lead to WAYYY less misunderstandings and WAYYYY less ableism

“There are many people who fake nds for attention,”

hey anon, what fucking world do you live in that nd’s are cool enough to fake having? because i would LOVE to live there. like, i literally had a post about my personality disorder (which i will not be specifying) i had to delete because people were sending my anons about how i was “scary” and “threatening” now that they knew i had the personality disorder i have. last year i left a discord server because the ableism i was recieving from not only the members of the server, but the mods as well. there are very few people i know irl who i tell about my personality disorder, but when i tell people about my adhd, they start treating me different. they infantalize me and make fun of me and use “jokes” about stereotypical adhd behaviors to alienate me and they even TELL OTHER PEOPLE without my permission. i was SEVERELY bullied throughout elementary and middle school for being nd. i have been refused job and educational opportunities as well as literal medical attention for being nd. people aren’t “faking” being nd, and if they were they probably wouldn’t be doing it for long because it’s not something that’s EASY to deal with.

kinda ironic that you’re saying people can’t diagnose themselves but that YOU can tell when someone is faking their diagnosis. that’s both hypocritical and a double standard.

masking exists. if you think someone isn’t “acting nd enough” they’re probably masking because they’ve been fucking bullied and harrassed. also you’re probably basing whatever you think nd is on stereotypes. not every nd person is sheldon cooper lol.

this is a side note but can we talk about how you’re literally just taking transmed rhetoric and molding it to fit nd people? like. you really come onto MY NONBINARY NEURODIVERGENT blog and expect me to validate your recycled “but what about the REAL [insert group] people?” ??? like grow up, elitist. you’re not better than anyone else just because you lick some boots 🥾 👅

“and claiming that self diagnosis (and this is just what I interpreted) is just as valid as professional diagnosis”

it is 😌

the only difference between self diagnosis and professional diagnosis is that a professional diagnosis can also get you medicine. not every neurodivergency needs meds and not every neurodivergency can be treated (at this time or even ever). for example, my pd (self diagnosed) doesn’t have a specific treatment but multiple symptoms of the pd (all professionally diagnosed) have specific treatments and medicines that work, so patients are given/diagnosed with/prescribed those instead. also, medicine doesn’t work for everyone! and sometimes people are allergic to or take medicines that will conflict with any new medicine.

“can really devalue the account of someone who actually has a disorder”

here we go again with that “self diagnosed” vs “actually nd” bullshit. literally just say you hate poor people n minorities and leave lol

someone having a different experience than you isn’t devaluing you, but if you’re the one who always has the spotlight maybe you should use your privledge uplift other marginalized people instead of feeling angry when everything isn’t all about you 100% of the time

“I have a second ask”

i don’t want it

“Plus it can be damaging for a person if they self diagnose wrong.”

how? what if they learn information that they wouldn’t’ve otherwise known like coping mechanisms that help them with their own neurodivergencies? that’s definitely not a bad thing

i think it’s funny that you bring up that people can self diagnose wrong and don’t even MENTION that doctors can diagnose wrong. like. you know. the people who GIVE OUT MEDICINE to people. i think it’s MUCH more dangerous when a PROFESSIONAL diagnosis is wrong. what are self-dx people with wrong diagnoses gonna do? read up on nd tips? maybe smoke some weed? drink some coffee? that’s about all they can do with a self-dx. but if a MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL gives you an INCORRECT diagnosis, they can ACTUALLY fuck you up.

“I was recently diagnosed with PTSD, a disorder which I would have never considered I’d have.”

that’s great about your professional diagnosis! i don’t know you but i’m glad you’re finding out about yourself and getting the help you want and/or need /srs

sorry if this sounds blunt, but honestly i’m not surprised you never considered you could have PTSD. based on your asks, you sound like you have a lot of internalized ableism you need to work through and a lot more research about neurodiversity you need to do. being anti-self diagnosis is a common belief among a lot of people with internalized ableism and a lot of these same people are the ones who have no issue with and even SUPPORT auti$m $peaks. many nd organizations that are run BY nd people (like asan) actually support self-dx.

“If I had of diagnosed my own symptoms and then started treating myself or taking precautions based on my self diagnosed "condition", it could of really hurt me.”

how? taking precautions to preserve your mental health is NEVER a bad idea. i’m not ptsd, but someone i care deeply about DOES have ptsd and has shared a lot of the precautions and coping mechanisms for ptsd with me and honestly they’ve been incredibly helpful. it’s almost as if different neurodivergencies and/or mental illnesses have overlap and that’s why there’s a whole community for us to be able to share these resources and information with each other!

the same person was rejected a formal autism diagnosis because of their ptsd, plus the fact that they’re transgender and the fact they have symptoms of adhd. it’s not really my place to talk about their experience with professional diagnosis, but i’ll send this post to them and allow them to add on their experience in a rb if they’re comfortable with that. but it’s almost as if their experience with the professional diagnosis process was unhelpful, harmful, ableist, and transphobic 🧐 and unfortunately this is a pretty common experience

“Also, by self diagnosing, I devalue the account of a person with the disorder l assumed I had.”

how? if someone thinks they’re nd, they have a legitimate reason for thinking so. either they have another neurodivergency than the one they thought they had, or they’re neurotypical and need to figure themself out and have a need for support. either way, they learned more about the specific neurodivergency, more about the nd community, and more about themself. i don’t see how that’s a bad thing.

if you think self-diagnosed people’s experiences inherently have less value, that is straight up ableism. especially considering that other marginalized identities and minorities have trouble getting professional diagnoses, you might also be bigoted in some other way. or at the very least, refusing to acknowledge your privilege.

“only one more I promise”

i don’t want it

“I understand that doctors are expensive and professionals can get it wrong,”

okay. if you understand this, then dm me your information so i can bill you for the cost of my professional diagnoses, the cost for my therapy sessions, the cost for my medicine, and the cost for transportation to and from all these places. PLUS the cost of the work and school i’ll be missing for these sessions. 🤲

“but self diagnosis can be really harmful to yourself or others.”

nah, you’re just ableist and a gatekeeper lol

“If you feel like you have a disorder, go see a psychiatrist, you may have it.”

[remembers when i went to a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with two major symptoms of a personality disorder and said i had other symptoms of the pd as well but refused to diagnose me with the actual personality disorder because i was a minor at the time and he told me “kids don’t have personalities so they can’t have personality disorders”. i understand being weary about diagnosing children with personality disorders because they aren’t fully developed but this dude straight up told me that i didn’t have a personality. this man literally only worked with children so that means he literally never diagnosed personality disorders. this man was literally just lazy and didn’t care about his patients. this man also refused to believe me when i told him the medicine he prescribed me made my symptoms worse and even made me hallucinate. he ignored me and refused to change my medicine so eventually i just changed psychiatrists and they put me on a new medicine that DIDNT make my symptoms worse and DIDNT make me hallucinate. also i looked it up after our session and apparently ONLY people with my pd and related ones experience hallucinations on that certain medication. it’s almost like his refusal to diagnose me and ignoring my symptoms/concerns harmed me. this man also constantly misgendered me and told me that homosexuality and transgenderism should’ve still been in the dsm. like golly, it’s almost as if being queer and neurodivergent in an extremely conservative state is harmful and dangerous. and that psychiatrists aren’t immune from being homophobic and transphobic and ableist.] but yes :) perhaps i should see another psychiatrist in this conservative state :)

“I don't want to undermine anyone's actual experiences, but it can be dangerous.”

then stop undermining people’s actual experiences :)

no ❤️

“If you feel like something's wrong, go see a professional.”

the whole point of the neurodiversity movement is that there IS no such thing as a “normal” brain, so saying that neurodivergent people have something “wrong” with them is ableist.

💰 🤲 hand it over

“I don't want to offend, I just don't want anyone to get mislead or hurt. :)”

you absolutely meant to offend. you literally said that self-diagnosed people’s experiences aren’t valid and have less value than people who have professional diagnoses

i know more people who have been (and personally have been) mislead and hurt by professionals than by simply existing as a self-diagnosed person

also i want to say that being pro-self dx is NOT being anti-professional/formal diagnosis. i think that people should absolutely get a professional diagnosis (if they are able to without negative repercussions)! being pro-self dx is more inclusive of marginalized people (like people of color, women, lgbtq+ people, people with multiple disabilities, etc). pro-self dx is simply just saying that professional diagnosis isn’t the only option

(neurotypical people and anti-self dx people don’t add anything; pro-self dx neurodivergent people are allowed to add with their experiences if they want)

#asks #long post #nd adventures #ableism tw #sexism tw #racism tw #transphobia tw #misgendering mention #medical abuse mention #not star trek #homophobia tw

[little-silly-bear]

Hello Cookie!! Can you explain autism symptoms for me?

Hi dear! Well it’s a very big argument and I want to talk about my experience that is different from others on the spectrum since every person is unique. I was diagnosed the last year and it was a shock since I’m 23 and I lived my whole life thinking “what is wrong with me? Why I just can’t get friends or having a conversation like the others?” Tumblr literally saved me, I saw a lot of post of regressors that are on the autism spectrum and I was like “Wait..that isn’t normal? I mean not everyone do that?”. So I did a loooot and I mean a looooot of researches on this argument, I tried to study more that I could and I found myself at home.

I can try to summarise the big symptoms for you (I’m not an expert I’m just a kiddo pls don’t be mean if I say or spell something wrong it’s also 5 am here) :

Sensory issues-it means that you have one or more senses very high, you’re sensitive to touch, smells, tastes, sounds or sights and they are more but I don’t remember those ahah! You can have all of them or a mix of them, usually they are more that one. You can’t stand having targets on your shirt, some kind of fabrics drives you crazy and you just really need that blanket to live a regular life and can’t understand why? Yeah me too. Most of the time they are bad, like some sounds literally makes me crazy, in high school I spent a terrible time because no one believed that I felt pain for certain sounds or lights. But I try my best to concentrate on what makes me happy like the fluffy blankets, not having socks, sleeping with a weight blanket, walking with my cancelling headphones and the taste of a cheesy pizza. You just need to listen to your brain if that light is too much please, when possible turning off, your health comes first! I tried to suppress this feelings my whole life to make other people “comfortable” aroun me but not anymore! If a room is too crowded and I literally hear every person talking, I usually feel very sick and need to recharge in another room. When I was a kid and my parents used to take me to the mall I literally fainted, they thought it was something that makes me unique but now we now it was my body reacting to overstimulation.

Having trouble socialising and in building relationships. This was the first criteria that convinced my therapist that I needed a test. As I told before I never get other people, they seemed like a different species to me and if I wanted a friend I needed to work really hard on acting and behaving like them. Obviously I failed every single time because I couldn’t resist more than few weeks? Also this was around elementary/middle school when in my head I needed friends like a task to do 😂 when I realised that I was way more happier by myself I didn’t try it again! But for me, like a lot of us is difficult because everything is built in a way that isn’t ours, every single conversation is based on a neurotypical way. The small talks, the chit chat, I never get this things, why we need to talk about the weather when we can talk about how cool is the Pokémon Go game? Do you know what I mean? I think you does. Also big tip try to talk with a person on the autism spectrum and see if you’re more comfortable and tuned with them, I had three friends irl ,we’re all on the spectrum and let me tell you that is so much easier talk and keeping a relationship when you both understand each other.

Special interests!! Omg! Pls don’t get me started I will never end this post 😂 they literally saved my life, I didn’t know they were special interest until my therapist told me but let me tell you that I have a lot of them!!! Special interests are one or more subjects that you have a deep, almost professional, passion about. They can be simple, scholastic or very complex topic. And you don’t need to be an encyclopaedia to prove that is your special interest, the same fact that you have something that you reaaaaaally love talking about and can’t stop learning more and more about it makes it valid. Let me tell you that at the age 10 I learned Japanese because I fell in love with Japan culture, I didn’t have internet I studied from books and old movies/animes. I never thought that was a special interest because for me it was just my way of loving something.

Stimming. This is something that our dear cousins with ADHD have in common with us. Most of the times someone in the autism spectrum have also adhd and viceversa but it isn’t always the case. Stimming is a natural process to express our emotions, it comes naturally and it’s like an electric feelings (for me) it’s something that you can’t stop and if you tried to suppress it will grow and make you feel worst (not like in a tic or ocd way more in a mental state). Everyone stim, people stimming to music is very acceptable and well viewed by the society but people like us need to stim to express our emotional state. I personally suppressed my stims for so many years because of bad teachers that im still trying to relearn most of them. It’s a common thing to having your diagnosis or starting to accept your autistic traits and then see your stims grow like never before! Most are gestures like flappy hands or jumping when you’re happy or if you ate a good food but they could be everything like chewing, singing, humming, bouncing legs, hair wrapping, scratching, eating nails, watching aesthetic photos, listening a song on repeat or clapping hands.

They’re more and more things to add in this list but I already did a long post and I got so excited for this question that I forgot to take my meds 😂 I tried to summarise with the points that my therapist told me were the most relevant for my diagnosis. Let me know if you need more advices, my dms are always open for you little beans that need help or tips from your big sibling! Have a good day and happy stimming to everyone 💕

#mine #sfw agere #agere #ageregression #age regression #pure agere #agere community #age regressor #autism agere #autistic agere #aspie agere #agere ask #agere asks

[reachexceedinggrasp]

Would love to hear about your beefs with Lucas because I have beefs with Lucas

(Sorry it took me three thousand years to answer this, anon.)

They mainly fall under a few headings, with the third being the most serious and the thing that I am genuinely irl furious about at least biannually (and feeling unable to adequately sum up The Problem with it after yelling about it so often is a huge part of why this post has been in my drafts for such a long time):

1. His self-mythologising and the subsequent uncritical repetition of his bullshit in the fandom. Obvious lies like that he had some master plan for 10 films when it’s clear he did not have anything like a plot outline at any point. We all know the thing was written at the seat of various people’s pants, it’s blatantly self-evident that’s the case. There’s also plenty of public record about how the OT was written. Even dumber, more obvious lies, like that Anakin was ‘always the protagonist’ and the entire 6 films were his story from the beginning. This is preposterous and every time someone brings it up (usually with palpable smugness) as fanboys ‘not understanding star wars’ because they don't get that ‘the OT is not Luke's story’... Yeah, I just... I cannot.

Vader wasn’t Anakin Skywalker until ESB, it’s a retcon. It’s a brilliant retcon and it works perfectly, it elevated SW into something timeless and special it otherwise would not have been, but you can tell it wasn’t the original plan and there’s proof it wasn’t the original plan. Let’s not pretend. And Luke is the protagonist. No amount of waffling about such esoteric flights of theory as ‘ring structure’ is going to get away from the rigidly orthodox narrative and the indisputable fact that it is Luke’s hero’s journey. Vader’s redemption isn’t about his character development (he has almost none) and has no basis in any kind of convincing psychological reality for his character, but it doesn’t need to be because it’s part of Luke’s arc, because Vader is entirely a foil in Luke’s story. It’s a coming-of-age myth about confronting and growing beyond the father.

All attempts to de-centre Luke in RotJ just break the OT’s narrative logic. It’s a character-driven story and the character driving is Luke. Trying to read it as Anakin’s victory, the moral culmination of his choices rather than Luke’s and putting all the agency into Anakin’s hands just destroys the trilogy’s coherence and ignores most of its content in favour of appropriating a handful of scenes into an arc existing only in the prequels. The dilemma of RotJ is how Luke will define ethical adulthood after learning and growing through two previous films worth of challenge, education, failure, and triumph; it’s his choice to love his father and throw down his sword which answers the question the entire story has been asking. Vader’s redemption and the restoration of the galaxy are the consequences of that choice which tell us what kind of world we’re in, but the major dramatic conflict was resolved by Luke’s decision not the response to it.

And, just all over, the idea of Lucas as an infallible auteur is inaccurate and annoying to me. Obviously he’s a tremendous creative force and we wouldn’t have sw without him, but he didn’t create it alone or out of whole cloth. The OT was a very collaborative effort and that’s why it’s what it is and the prequels are what they are. Speaking of which.

2. The hubris of the prequels in general and all the damage their many terrible, protected-from-editors choices do to the symbolic fabric of the sw universe. Midicholrians, Yoda fighting with a lightsabre, Obi-wan as Anakin's surrogate father instead of his peer, incoherent and unmotivated character arcs, the laundry list of serious and meaningful continuity errors, the bad storytelling, the bad direction, the bad characterisation, the shallowness of the parallels which undermine the OT’s imagery, the very clumsy and contradictory way the A/P romance was handled, the weird attitude to romance in general, it goeth on. I don’t want to re-litigate the entire PT here and I’m not going to, but they are both bad as films and bad as prequels. The main idea of them, to add Anakin’s pov and create an actual arc for him as well as to flesh out the themes of compassion and redemption, was totally appropriate. The concept works as a narrative unit, there are lots of powerful thematic elements they introduce, they have a lot of cool building blocks, it’s only in execution and detail that they do a bunch of irreparable harm.

But the constant refrain that only ageing fanboys don’t like them and they only don’t like them because of their themes or because they humanise Anakin... can we not. The shoddy film making in the prequels is an objective fact. If you want to overlook the bad parts for the good or prioritise ideas over technique, that’s fine, but don’t sit here and tell me they’re masterworks of cinema there can be no valid reason to criticise. I was the exact right age for them when I saw them, I am fully on board with the fairy tale nature of sw, I am fully on board with humanising Anakin- the prequels just have a lot of very big problems with a) their scripts and b) their direction, especially of dialogue scenes. If Lucas had acknowledged his limitations like he did back in the day instead of believing his own press, he could have again had the help he obviously needed instead of embarrassing himself.

3. Killing and suppressing the original original trilogy. I consider the fact that the actual original films are not currently available in any form, have never been available in an archival format, and have not been presented in acceptable quality since the VHS release a very troubling case study in the problems of corporate-owned art. LF seizing prints of the films whenever they are shown, destroying the in-camera negatives to make the special editions with no plans to restore them, and doing all in the company’s considerable power to suppress the original versions is something I consider an act of cultural vandalism. The OT defined a whole generation of Hollywood. It had a global impact on popular entertainment. ANH is considered so historically significant it was one of the first films added to the US Library of Congress (Lucas refused to provide even them with a print of the theatrical release, so they made their own viewable scan from the 70s copyright submission).

The fact that the films which made that impact cannot be legally accessed by the public is offensive to me. The fact that Lucas has seen fit to dub over or composite out entire performances (deleting certain actors from the films), to dramatically alter the composition of shots chosen by the original directors, to radically change the entire stylistic tone by completely reinventing the films’ colour timing in attempt to make them match the plasticy palate of the prequels, to shoot new scenes for movies he DID NOT DIRECT, add entire sequences or re-edit existing sequences to the point of being unrecognisable etc. etc. is NOT OKAY WITH ME when he insists that his versions be the ONLY ones available.

I’m okay with the Special Editions existing, though I think they’re mostly... not good... but I’m not okay with them replacing the original films. And all people can say is ‘well, they’re his movies’.

Lucas may have clear legal ownership in the capitalistic sense, but in no way does he have clear artistic ownership. Forget the fans, I’m not one of those people who argue the fans are owed something: A film is always a collaborative exercise and almost never can it be said that the end product is the ultimate responsibility and possession of one person. Even the auteur directors aren't the sole creative vision, even a triple threat like Orson Welles still had cinematographers and production designers, etc. Hundreds of artists work on films. Neither a writer nor a director (nor one person who is both) is The Artist behind a film the way a novelist is The Artist behind a novel. And Lucas did NOT write the screenplays for or direct ESB or RotJ. So in what sense does he have a moral right to alter those films from what the people primarily involved in making them deemed the final product? In what sense would he have the right to make a years-later revision the ONLY version even if he WERE the director?

Then you get into the issue of the immeasurable cultural impact those films had in their original form and the imperative to preserve something that is defining to the history of film and the state of the zeitgeist. I don't think there is any ‘fan entitlement’ involved in saying the originals belonged to the world after being part of its consciousness for decades and it is doing violence to the artistic record to try to erase the films which actually occupied that space. It's exactly like trying to replace every copy of It's a Wonderful Life with a colourised version (well, it's worse but still), and that was something Lucas himself railed against. It’s like if Michaelangelo were miraculously resuscitated and he decided to repaint the Sistine Ceiling to add a gunfight and change his style to something contemporary.

I get genuinely very upset at the cold reality that generations of people are watching sw for the first time and it’s the fucking SE-except-worse they’re seeing. And as fewer people keep physical media and the US corporate oligarchy continues to perform censorship and rewrite history on its streaming services unchecked by any kind of public welfare concerns, you’ll see more and more ‘real Mandela effect’ type shit where the cultural record has suddenly ‘always’ been in line with whatever they want it to be just now. And US media continues to infect us all with its insidious ubiquity. I think misrepresenting and censoring the past is an objectively bad thing and we can’t learn from things we pretend never happened, but apparently not many people are worried about handing the keys to our collective experience to Disney and Amazon.

4. The ‘Jedi don’t marry’ thing and how he wanted this to continue with Luke post-RotJ, so it’s obviously not meant to be part of what was wrong with the order in the prequels. I find this... incoherent on a storytelling level. The moral of the anidala story then indeed becomes just plain ‘romantic love is bad and will make you crazy’, rather than the charitable reading of the prequels which I ascribe to, which is that the problem isn’t Anakin’s love for Padmé, it’s that he ceased to love her and began to covet her. And I can’t help but feel this attitude is maybe an expression of GL’s issues with women following his divorce. I don’t remember if there’s evidence to contradict that take, since it’s been some time since I read about this but yeah. ANH absolutely does sow seeds for possible Luke/Leia development and GL was still married while working on that film. Subsequently he was dead set against Luke ever having a relationship and decided Jedi could not marry. Coincidence?

There’s a lot of blinking red ‘issues with women’ warning signs all over Lucas’s work, but the prequels are really... egregious.

#sw #salt #more unhinged rambling #anyway dowload the despecialised editions #unsubscribe from Disney+ #be free #usually we'd be having a big family thing for Boxing Day but you know #so God bless us all at home separately #I hope everyone had as happy a Christmas as possible in keeping with the situation #I should see if I can drag my brother outside to build a snowman

[werevulvi]

I wanted to write a bit about sex segregated spaces, in regards to people who pass as the opposite sex. This is not actually about trans people, as much as it is about the safety, integrity and general rights of male-passing biological women. I am not the only gender non-conforming woman who gets tossed out of female only spaces, based on the false presumption that we’re men. I do not care about validating trans women, or even trans men, for that matter. I care about real life practicality, risks and safety for ALL women, not just those who look conveniently clearly female, which starts with accepting that some women, whether they've medically transitioned or not, pass as male. And none of them should have to feminise themselves to access female only spaces. Whether that be to ensure safety from males, or to just take a leak.

The fact that I choose to keep my beard has almost nothing to do with that I'm male-passing. It may be my strongest "male" feature, but it's hardly the only one. I still pass as male with a clean shaven face, which makes shaving my beloved beard rather pointless, in my opinion. I would realistically need to go through more than just facial hair removal to pass as my own sex again. I'd probably even need facial feminisation surgery, hair transplant, voice feminisation and full body hair removal, at the very least, to even get close to passing as female again. But even then, I'd probably STILL be read as a trans woman, i.e. male. And even IF I did all that... WHY should I have to mutilate myself (a second time) by buying into harmful patriarchal beauty standards, which would worsen my dysphoria and reduce my comfort in my own skin significantly, to be allowed the safety of male-free spaces?

Does that sound feminist to you? Because to me, it's incredibly misogynistic, and strongly counterproductive. To uphold patriarchal gender roles for the safety of women... is the most insanely anti-feminist double standard I can possibly ever think of.

To lay out my argument on this topic, I'm going to use my own experiences as examples a lot. Mostly because I cannot with any conscience speak for anyone else than myself, at least not in such detail and with such harsh judgement. But I'm sure a lot of my experiences are applicable to other masculine women as well.

First off, I still consider myself gender critical, but my allegiance to radical feminism has been waning lately. This is mostly due to that although I agree with the base premise of radfem, I tend to disagree with the proposed solutions to almost all of the issues, because to me they come across as unfounded beliefs (yes, BELIEFS) that "it would just work" without much of any evidence to back up such a claim.

And when it comes to trans people, I've noticed a lot of... shall we say, willful ignorance, going on among many radfems, which does affect opinions on gender abolishion as well as sex segregated spaces to appear rather... intellectually dishonest, to be frank. Although this is not intended as a call out by any means, I merely want for people of all sides of the radfem/gender critical/pro-trans fence to stay critical and keep questioning everything, even one's own beloved ideology. Which I don't see a lot of. Instead I see almost religious defending of radfem as the ultimate/perfect ideology... oh, guess where I've seen that before? I've come to believe that "hivemindedness" is probably part of every possible ideology out there. Even radfem.

So, anyway.

One thing I come across time and time again is the belief (yes, I dare say "belief") that people never pass as the opposite sex, although it's mostly directed at trans people, this very much applies to people who are just gnc as well. Let's not forget that. And this belief seem to often lead to that transitioned/gnc people can just use the space intended for their biological sex, no problem. However, this is not the case. There is a problem. Very many trans people, and some gnc people, pass well enough to at least blend in enough to not raise much of an eyebrow among the opposite sex, and to most definitely stand out as an outsider among people of the same sex. OR they pass barely enough as either sex, and thus stand out as an outsider among both the same sex and the opposite sex, which can cause similar problems with single sex spaces.

There's also the thing that it generally is easier to pass as the opposite sex among complete strangers, compared to people who know you/your background. They tend to read you differently, depending on that.

At least in my experience, complete strangers assume I'm male and don't even as much as raise an eyebrow about how male I come across as. They accept their false assumption at face value. And why wouldn't they? 99,97% of people who "look like me" are biologically men. Then people who know I'm transitioned, but didn't know me pre-transition, tend to see me as a female who looks very convincingly male, whether that makes me a masculine woman, trans man, or any other (female) label in their eyes. They claim to be able to "see" my female nature, yet they somehow had no idea before I told them about my true sex. Then people who know about my history and saw it happen from the time before my transition (now only really my family) never quite succeeded to see me as anything other than a gnc woman. To quote my dad: "You look like a woman who's trying to look like a man." Although I'm sure my mom and sister don't have quite as harsh views about me, lol. They still seem to see me the way they always have, regardless of what name or pronouns they use for me.

This matters, because although people who know I'm transitioned and may even have witnessed my transition from the beginning, struggle to see me as a man (which I respect entirely and I'm VERY careful to not push wanting to be seen/read as anything in particular, but also, people do not want to be rude, especially irl) that does not go for people who have never even seen me before the moment I walk into... say, a public bathroom. To them I cannot possibly be anything other than a man, and it's almost impossible to change their view of me as male once their brains have registered me as such. I need to conjure up pretty fucking compelling evidence to shatter that view they have of me.

This is important, because it means I cannot feasibly use female only spaces, unless someone else (who is also female) vouches for me and explains my situation for me. This is, most likely due to people being more likely to believe an unlikely explanation when it's told by someone else, because maybe I could be lying; and only someone of the same sex as me can accompany/escort me into female only spaces, obviously. But even then, there's a ton of tension around my presentation. An air of distrust, basically. The question that hangs in the air: "Is that a trans woman?" even after they've been given a thorough explanation of my situation. It's uncomfortable for everyone involved. Imagine how it goes then if I'd just show up unannounced, and without someone to vouch for me. I just get booted on sight.

Yes, I can whine about this all day, but that is NOT my point.

My point is that I'm either directly, or implicitly, unwelcome in female only spaces, despite being biologically female, because of my transitioned appearance... despite I'm not even on testosterone anymore since 2 years ago. Sure, most gnc women (whether transitioned or not) don't seem to have turned out quite as passable as me, but clearly, it happens. So let's stop pretending that it doesn't.

So with that in mind, I don't always have access to a gender neutral space. Like for example when I travel with the ferry that goes between my island and the mainland of my country, there is only men's bathrooms and women's bathrooms. No third option. That's a 3 hour boat ride, and with my coffee drinking habit, I will need to pee at some point or another while aboard that ship, alright. And no, peeing in the ocean is not an option, as squatting over the railing would be incredibly dangerous, and most likely not even remotely allowed. Granted, I don't take the ferry often, it's just the most clear example I can think of. Because it's my only means of transportation to/from the mainland, except from flying, which is incredibly expensive, less reliable and obviously an environmental hazard. So when I do have to use that ferry, I'm kinda stuck with my choices.

So then, am I better off going with the men's or women's bathroom? I am much more likely to be left alone to do my business in the men's, so even though that is not the space I want to be in, nor do I think it's "right" for me to be there, sometimes it's even a bit scary, other times even impractical if there's only urinals and no stall, and it's absolutely not validating at all - it's the only bathroom that I can realistically use, without too much trouble. And I don't want trouble. But I also hate having to put my own safety on the backburner for the perceived safety of other women, who are not actually at any higher safety risk when left alone with me.

So, onto the more general, political aspects of this issue:

Women in male only spaces may be less of an issue in regards to safety, at least for the majority of people (men) in that space, especially if the woman in question passes as male. No one gives a fuck, generally. But problem is then that she is at far greater risk than the majority of people (women) would be with a single male, in a female only space. As I think a group of women against one male is generally less risk towards the women, when compared to a group of men against a single female, which can be extremely dangerous for her. Although I've so far never been faced with any sort of violence in a male only space, let's not pretend that my presense in a male only space is somehow LESS dangerous for me, than how dangerous the presense of ONE male in a space with a whole group of women, would be for those women. Statistically and realistically, I'm at a far greater risk than they are, and no, I do not have any more choice in the matter than they do.

Thus, this kinda skewed idea of safety and choice, becomes a question of ethics, I think.

Furthermore, I'm a person of principles, and it wouldn't sit right with me that if males should never under any circumstances be allowed in female spaces, but females could be allowed in male spaces. I refuse to be a hypocrit on purpose! No, if males should never under any circumstances be allowed in female spaces, then females should also never under any circumstances be allowed in male spaces. OR, if females CAN under some special circumstances be allowed into male spaces, then males should be allowed the same in female spaces. Both of these solutions pose serious problems, which I keep seeing being brushed under the carpet a lot, and that annoys me.

But if we go with the first idea, of barring people from using opposite sex spaces altogether, then where the fuck do I pee? Should I utilise my "right" to use female spaces, despite making everyone uncomfortable and feeling threatened by my presense, as well as risking being kicked out and forced to use the equivalent male spaces anyway, which is exactly what that idea is meant to prevent - or should I completely avoid being in places which I know does not have a gender neutral bathroom, such as the ferry? Would that not be discrimination? Which is the most reasonable option here, what is the most practical, what's wrong and what's right? Do I even have a RIGHT to use female bathrooms, and if so, how do I prove it, considering my ID still says I'm male?

Trans men aren't gonna be nearly as willing to use female only spaces, and trans women definitely not eager to use male only spaces. But aside from that validation factor, I have the exact same struggle as trans people do on this particular point. Quite often they do toss and turn at which bloody bathroom to pick, not just out of validation, but because they genuinely struggle to figure out which one is the best option for them practically. Especially if they don't quite pass as either sex, and most and foremost just wanna do their business without unneccesary drama.

Also, to clarify: barring trans people from opposite sex spaces is NOT discrimination, as they never belonged there to begin with - but leaving them with no other option than to pee themselves, is. Which means that I think it's fucked up to barr them from those spaces BEFORE having solved the problem of "if they can't go there, then where?"

Perhaps I'm the only one around here who cares about males' integrity, safety and human rights. But even if so, I should not be the only one to care about gnc females' integrity, safety and rights. Male-passing females, whether transitioned or not, whether bearded or not, are still female, and if we don't want them in female only spaces, and not in male only spaces either; why? Because they "chose" to medically transition and/or dress in men's clothing?

Yeah, well, in most cases of transitioned females, they transitioned because of dysphoria, which no one chooses to have. It's a medical condition. Barring people from spaces they'd otherwise be welcomed into, due to the visual outcome of the treatment of their medical condition... is ableism. Barring a woman from a female only space she belongs in, solely because her unusual physical appearance freaks you out... is ableism. Also, simply being gnc and being viscerally uncomfortable with presenting femininely is also not a choice. And even if it was... shouldn't it be? That's why I cannot roll with that sorta solution. I dunno if it counts as a form of discrimination by definition, but it just smells a lot like it from where I sit. That it's no more right to toss me out of, or give me trouble, in a women's bathroom, than a masculine women who also passes as male but who has not medically transitioned.

That said, however, women's safety DOES matter a lot to me. Hence my reluctance to join their spaces, despite being a woman myself. I guess, what I'd want is complete sex segregation to work in my favour, but I can't promote a rule that would discriminate against me. I'm sorry, I just can't. I desire FUNCTIONAL sex segregated spaces, but realistically they cannot function. Truth is that the only womens spaces I've been allowed into since I began passing as male, are "trans inclusionary" ones that openly allow in trans women, ironically. I care about the safety of other women, and their right to have their own spaces... but not at the expense of my own rights, as a fellow woman. To say otherwise would be a crime against myself. I really wish this could be solved in some way that would work in practice, but honestly I don't think it can anytime soon. Not without some seriously tried and proven, practical and humane methods to check what sex people entering single sex spaces actually are.

That is the reality that people have to face. And personally I'd rather focus on women's rights than trans rights, but as a woman who's medically transitioning, I'd shoot my own foot no matter which one I'd choose. That's quite a dilemma.

So where my opinion stands on this right now, is basically this: I think female only spaces should only be for biological women, but I'm reluctantly okay-ish with males who pass as female utilising female only spaces, and vice versa for females in male only spaces. However, this does not feel ideal at all. It's a compromise. Ideally, I want such spaces to be entirely sex segregated, and for even people who pass as the opposite sex (like myself) to be allowed into spaces of their biological sex. My appeal here is both realistic practicality with the reality that some people really do pass as the opposite sex, as well as the safety, rights and integrity of male-passing women.

#female only spaces #gnc women #yes some trans people pass #but not only trans people pass #radical feminism #gender critical #ok to rb #my opinions and concerns

[rpbetter]

Thanks for your thoughts. Nope, I don't have another problem with the psa. It's the subtle word choice pretty much, but nothing else. I don't mind if people use me as a meme farm, so when I see psas like that or comments like that, I get upset because I associate it with people who make other blanket assumptions about all rpers, I have it linked in my head with people going around saying "rp is a hobby not a jobby" and making other assumptions about how all rpers do their thing.

Thank you for answering those questions!

The assumptive quality of the RPC can seriously be annoying as hell, especially if you're in the minority on any particular issue. When that's the case, the PSAs are so rarely geared toward you and any issues you might be experiencing that it's legitimately upsetting. I absolutely feel you on that!

I mean, obviously. Obviously lol I do. It couldn't be much clearer that I have a serious issue with the constant bombardment of PSAs insisting that we normalize shitty behaviors that are the damn norm, that we're all just losers RPing on tumblr so no one should be anxious about anything ever (instead of, you know, maybe trying to legitimately boost people's confidence, radical thought), or that anything that isn't being hostile to oneself is being hostile to everyone else.

I think the issue is that, while there is obviously a majority set of takes/issues/experiences (though, those, too, absolutely can skew toward one's particular RP corner and style), there's no way to address every instance and variable of an issue. Particularly not when anything other one paragraph is too lengthy for a lot of people here to engage with in a meaningful way.

So, I know I have to frequently ask, "is this a legitimate or hostile sort of blank-statement, or is it just addressing the majority experience? If it's the latter, is it genuinely enough of a problem to address?"

Like, did they mean that this is an experience most RPers have, or did they mean this is the only experience/is the correct and only way to do things? And that's not always answerable, of course, but when I feel like it is, it's usually found on OP's blog and RPC itself.

If OP has expressed things that are not the majority experience, expressed that they do not agree with blanket-statements, and doesn't imply with every rule, PSA, point on the DNI, and so on that to approach and proceed with RP in a way they do not is to commit some manner of terrible IRL crime? It's almost certainly that they were just expressing a majority experience and nothing more.

And in this case, yeah, as I'm sure you've noticed from being on the opposite side of this, it is the majority experience. I don't recall ever seeing very many RPers who do not espouse having an issue with having their memes and aesthetics reblogged without some manner of (rules specified if they're not a dick) interaction/relationship with the other mun. (Such as "mutuals are okay to reblog" or "I expect reblog karma and practice it.")

I don't know if there has been an influx of newer RPers or those who have migrated from more relaxed areas of the RPC, but recently, there really has been an increase in at least my corners of muns being used as resource blogs when they do not wish to be. They've all expressed in their rules their particular boundaries for that, have made overall posts politely but firmly asking that people who do not write with them and haven't even read their rules not do this, and have gone directly to the worst offenders to ask them to stop. And it continues to happen. So, I imagine that is why you might be seeing an influx of PSAs about the matter in response.

For anyone watching this conversation that might not understand why some muns are so against this, some reasons are:

clogging up their notifications

the aesthetic was their picture, edit, quote, etc. and not meant to be shared off their blog/only by the partner(s) tagged in it

when you reblog from someone, their URL is obviously attached, spreading them to another dash full of people - they might like you, but not want some of your mutuals following to their blog

their muse doesn't get much interaction, but other muns keep reblogging memes/aesthetics from them when they won't write with them or send anything in

they feel used for the above reason or any variety of other reasons

I'm really sure you know that, Anon, but I think it's important that we all understand where we're coming from because there are so many different preferences and experiences. It's really not good enough to just feel like everyone can do whatever they want, so long as it isn't harassing anyone else/they're being respectful of others. Because can feel that way all we want to while still getting upset when we lack the understanding of preferences that are extremely different, or even in opposition to our own.

We can't effectively respect each other without that sort of understanding of even the things that annoy us, you know? So, I try to promote that understanding and explain things for people who might simply see this on their dash.

Like the "hobby not jobby" thing! I don't get that, I think it has some concerning IRL connotations people are not recognizing, and it's a great way to treat other muns like shit while justifying the behavior. It's in opposition to what I do not because it exists, but rather, because it is weaponized in order to excuse bad behavior and vilify muns who do not engage with the hobby in this way. It doesn't have to exist in hostile opposition to how I enjoy RP, the use of it has made it this way, is what I'm saying.

But I understand where it came from and what it means for the more rational, adult muns here who feel this way. To them, it's just that this is an ultra casual hobby. The way I engage with RP is like a full contact sport lol it requires a lot of effort and engagement, and the effort and engagement is fun. They way they engage with RP is an act of disengaging, it is more like what watching TV is for me - they're just here for some light, quick entertainment.

Understanding this difference is understanding that not everyone who feels so casually about RP is a jackass insisting that everyone else better feel the same way, that their way is the only correct and good way. I'm still not interested in writing with them, it's far too different for that to work out, but it allows for delineating who is enjoyable on my dash/OOC that is into casual RP and who needs to stay behind a block somewhere because they think anyone who has RP as a primary hobby is trying to ruin it for them somehow, attacking them by existing, and the following list of terrible things as a person.

I think that all problems in the RPC could be drastically mitigated by a combination of understanding and mutual respect. People who are alright with others treating them like a meme resource absolutely can and should interact with people who don't feel that way without a problem, for example - all that takes is being aware of your mutual's rules and respecting them.

Damn near 100% of the PSAs out there honestly should not ever have to exist, they come down to the same factors of just exercising some easy respect for each other.

Again, the trouble often comes in at those very differing factors we need to be mindful of. When we feel like the weird one out in the RPC constantly, whether something is actually othering us or not, it starts to feel like it is. We start finding reasons and evidence, and much of the time, at least among those whose first inclination isn't to label OP as various terrible shit as a person, that takes the form of "not everyone."

Well, of course, not everyone! But unfortunately, when we are of the minority opinion/experience, we sometimes have to just realize that very thing. It isn't personal, and that while someone has caused issues coming from this side with that difference, we are not for our mutuals, so this isn't about us. We're actually doing the thing the PSA is speaking of by not pushing our preferences on others. If that PSA is just speaking from a place of the majority experience and nothing more, we're just annoyed with it for that reason and nothing else when it comes right down to it. We're just kind of sick of being in the minority opinion on this issue, and now are geared to feel like we're being hounded by most PSAs.

It's not an easy thing to get over or work with, it's not even something that gets to be faultless, but it definitely makes the experience less irritating when we can get to a point of stepping back and analyzing the situation without those emotions intensely in play. Seriously, if I allowed the issues I have with most PSAs out there to be evident by reblogging them with refutations or anger? That's all I'd spend my time doing, that'd be my hobby and not actual RP...and I'd absolutely be the most hated and blocked mun on tumblr in short order no matter how valid my points were. (And, I think, with good reason, I really do not support reblogging that sort of thing with negative commentary.)

What helps? Make your own positive PSA about your experience! Make one of those "reblog if" posts, I have never seen one that says "reblog if...you are alright with your mutuals reblogging memes and aesthetics from you without reblog karma."

I'm being dead serious, I encourage you to do that! It's great when you're of the minority opinion and do something like that because you can literally see not only that you're not alone at all but also that it's made other people feel seen. If you do that, let me know, I'll reblog it, even.

#answered #anonymous #post and ask replies #mun interaction #reblog etiquette #rp problems #tumblr rpc

[floralkittygambler]

Reposting for reasons

Response to Honest’s post here: Doing this to spread this awareness more as I know theres a bit of a rift in the critical community - plus I really fucking go on. Im PISSED and I do apologise however it NEEDS urgent addressing. I know people will hate me for it but Im used to hate and honestly? Hating rather than helping to solve the issue only furthers my fucking point here. So yeah this is so more people are aware (no offense to any of those involved in said rift either, but this is an important message. Thank you for understanding and if I can do anything to make all sides comfortable, then please message me and I’ll do my upmost.) “ More awareness of this is needed. Even if it’s your favourite, you can’t justify their shit but rally against another’s shit. Have people tell you you’re experiences arent real or invalid because, like Husk, people have - in real life - shipped you with someone you are far from comfortable with but you still treat them like a person. Because you have basic respect. And people force you to accept harassment, touching, stalking, advances for THEIR satisfaction. People use you for their fantasies. But you’re just a ‘tsundere’ for it. Or you have addiction issues but people think being with another addict will ‘save’ you because you’re apparently too incompetent to save yourself. Love isnt some magic fuckin cure so stop romanticising it as a fuckin saviour. It’s gross and fuckin creepy. Get stalked and have someone NEVER accept your no just because you show youre still decent enough to not treat them shitty or any different from anyone else. Try having someone way older or way younger (both in morally fucked up ways) advance on you and people encourage that. People you’re supposed to feel safe around.

People touch you when you pull away or show discomfort. Follow you home. Have pictures of you and wont accept you dont like them like that and it’s not ‘playing hard to get’ or ‘the thrill of the chase’. Fuck. OFF. In fact, Im not only disappointed in the fandom. Im disappointed in the entire team who some should know better from their OWN personal experiences - or at least the bare minimal of being a fucking adult. Im disappointed in especially females (sorry idk whether girl or woman is more appropriate here-) who statistically are more likely to have experienced something similar at some point in their lives think this is a cute gay moment. No. Angel is made out as a fucking predator - Im not saying he is, Im saying that his persistence is very fucking unwelcome like one. People like Husk dont need that fucking invasiveness. They/We need patience and someone on our level. Angel’s I know are the fuckin polar opposite - and some of them I know are very sexually harassing, including unwanted touching. It’s a shitty way to present gay people. Gays are fuckin people. Some are cunts and some arent. It’s a HUMAN thing. But considering the shit theyve been subjected to, presenting a gay as a victim only to also show them as a perpetrator is insulting! And for those Ive seen argue this about how people like AD wouldnt know how to express their love normally and whatnot? His pig. His best friend. He’s in his fucking 30s. There are literal real life criminals who get molested as kids and then go on to molest kids. Not all who grow up like that turn into nonces. Stop just fucking STOP justifying and romanticising this bullshit! I used to see the good in AD but now he makes me fucking sick. Especially with my verrrrrry fucking real traumas and connections. But fuck me, eh? Because this fictional guy matters so much more. Fuck real victims. And whilst we’re at it, fuck AD too when it suits your fetishes! Sarcasm aside, the fans and the team need to straighten up their abhorrent behaviour. Stolas. Fucking clearly having an affair, knowingly fucking up his daughter’s mental health and bribing a guy into sex who only wants the book and nothing more. He even has a fucking warning button over Stolas- Guys, how do you think any of this is cute? Even the team gross me out- I genuinely see potential and talent and it’s all gone to shit to satisfy horny teens, horny adults, and literally everyone who doesnt for the life of them understand being an adult is more than sex, drugs, violence and swears! I REALLY want to keep enjoying HB/HH but it’s getting harder and harder with such ignorant and bordering lazy creators (note: lazy as in wont do the fucking research or actually listen to real criticism and victims), such despicable fans (yeah, some HDers fuckin mocked that they triggered my ED, yet they had the fucking NERVE to support Angel’s potential ED AND laugh and blame me for me getting treated so badly for actually having the balls to call Angel and the teams hypocrisy. I got told to kill myself, that my problems arent real - oh but Angels apparently is! Which... They *are* but AD isnt real so technically only onlookers will suffer and not a drawing  - and they just excused their toxic behaviours. These people are like “aww poor angie babey!” yet fuckin INSULT sex workers. All this red in Hazbin yet it feels everyone and they mama colour blind. The issues are getting worse and fans are outright becoming EVIL, VILE, Vindictive little bullies - from kids to adults. You SHOULD be ashamed of yourself if you conduct yourself in such a manner. And you need to readjust your attitudes and behaviours because the only fuckers getting hurt are actual fucking victims. Ever been violated and been gaslit so much you STILL fucking question it’s reality? So you drown that shit out yet somehow it’s effects still hit you? Fetishise it. Make it your uwu gae couple goals, you’re no better than people believing Harley and the Joker werent toxic af. If this shit happened to you, most of you would actually SEE where we’re all coming from. Also, stop making gay a fetish - you’re like those creepy old men in the alley heckling lesbians to make out so they can wank off. Gays, no ALL the LGBT+ are fucking people too. So dont give me that bullshit then start turning everything just gay or just straight to mentally wank off to. It’s degrading and dehumanising. And yes, fiction does effect reality. You crush on a fictional character? Mourn one? Support one? Hell, fuckin jerk off to one - that’s affecting reality. Remember how in fiction all blacks were treated as villians? Look how theyre treated IRL. JAWS, great classic unfortunately their was a spike in shark killings over a fucking movie - the shark in the movie wasnt even real for the most part because they dont behave like that! (Also the animatronic was so shit they genuinely had so many issues - I think they even took to naming each one! Some fun trivia there!). Tiger sharks are more nasty than great whites as tiger sharks will hunt and eat a human. Great whites prefer seals and dislike human flesh, they just mistake us for seals. Hell, theres the toothless basking shark - theyre often SWAM WITH by divers for being so friendly. Yet Jaws made people think all sharks are bloodlusting over humans. Slenderman was created for a fucking contest and that influenced a stabbing (NOT Victor’s fault). Watch a horror movie that isnt based on a real life event and tell me that at least ONE has left you peaking over your shoulder. Stella may be a bitch - we dont know for certain - but try getting cheated on. Y’know what? Try growing up in such a broken home like Octavia. Yeah reaaaaaal fucking cute now, huh? Funny how as well y’all petition for male victims to be taken seriously then laugh when fictional males experience this abuse, further adding to stigma. You can be hit on by the hottest mf on the planet but if you arent interested, that should be respected! Also we’ve all been inspired by at least one fictional character so yeah. Yknow, since I was little Ive been fighting for sex worker and homeless rights. But HH/HB treatment of both leave a bitter taste in my mouth. I’ll still fully support sex workers and the homeless, but that’s the fucking effect this show is having. Bearing in mind I wont ever share everything Ive been through - and I shouldnt fucking have to in order to be believed and validated (obvs proof is required in a legal case but that’s a whole other topic). Why should I share MY fucking pain especially when you fuckers have belittled and triggered it more so? We have our rights to our secrets but fuck ME you lot NEED to start acting appropriately and like decent fucking humans. ‘iTs HeLl’ yeah and welcome to Earth- the team and yourselves live HERE. You obide by THESE rules. And as someone with beliefs (and a LOT of ancient fucking texts and studies on this shit) their Hell isnt even a proper Hell! It’s closer to purgatory and even then it’s not. Regardless, it’s a poorly built world with the lore consistently changing per episode and tweet, with many plot holes, and is apparently easy to get into - even via accidentally watching porn according to a stream. If youre gonna parade youre a fucking expert and research into demonology and use real believed figures, at least get THAT right. In fact, Lucifer and Lilith (and Stolas tbf) are ESPECIALLY risky as theyre a lot more complex than most easy access texts will tell you. Likewise, Stolas’s first introduction and main focus is sex. He’s one of the FEW Goetia demons that dont have some involvement in relationship issues at ALL. He’s known for astrology, crystals and herbs but hes also known to aid MONEY troubles (it’s lesser known but it’s true! HB Stolas is an insult to the Prince). Turning Vodou into something evil is vile considering it’s powerful and liberated slaves. Pentagrams are nothing to do with Satan, they’re magic based sigils. Upside down cross is the symbol of a SAINT. It’s just some edgy attempt to trick people into believing they know more than they do. Also you should NEVER dabble and doodle sigils without knowing the meanings or respecting what they behold. Vox and Val, real fuckin cute way to make them look like a stupid fucking highschool drama instead of a fucking SEX TRAFFICKER (note: real pimps often target YOUNG folks too - aka minors - and groom them into sex work. Theres different types of pimp. Viv has shown barely any understanding of ‘the game’ and its a fucking insult to injury. Yes we KNOW what a fucking pimp and prozzie are! We dont need to see it. We need REAL AWARENESS.) and a fucking scheming bastard of a CEO salesman botman. And yet even THEN lets go a step further and make some yandere wuv on boyfweind aboose! Fuck off- Now I love a good anime but these tropes are getting fucking dangerous now. And unrealistic to real love and relationships. Kids nowadays know fuck all on a healthy relationship (neither did the fuckin 50s tbf) and Im seeing more romaticism and glorifying abusive situations. Like the show ‘You’. Ok, there’s a fuckin bloke online who slaughtered innocents and kidnapped yet people commented how cute he is on his IG and that they want to be kidnapped or killed by him next. Dont believe me? Look up Peter Manfredonia Connecticut and the comments people left him and then tell me why shit like whats being presented in HH/HB ISNT fucking concerning - because it is. For a series about redemption, it’s brilliant at the opposite (Quote from the creator herself, Viv has posted that it’s influencing her bad choices. Even as a joke, proof’s in the pudding). And the overall focus on sex in the way Viv does is so immature and really creepy, and this is from an ADULTS perspective. From one adult to another, Im concerned as to why any of them think this is a normal fixation. Then again they’ve hired quite a large amount of dodgy folks and even a child. Most of this shit gets avoided with a basic background check like most companies run. I DO like Hazbin. Or the premise. I love some of the cast and spite the others. In Helluva, I just like a tiny portion of the cast. And I critique it so harshly because Viv DOES need a wakeup slap, grounding to reality, people who arent going to big her up or kiss her arse for once and shape her up to be the best she can be. The actually reach and even surpass her potential. And to reach where you need to be, there’s a lot of harsh lessons youll face. That’s life. Shes chosen one of the most HEARTLESS industries and if she blocks out critique as ‘hate’ then she’s not strong enough and wont last. It’s just another unprepped YanDev again (except I dont believe Viv to be a nonce. Even with her dodgy past and dodgy present, I think her perspective on sex and relationship with sexuality is FAR from healthy BUT I dont believe she’s a pedophile. Ive bled my fair share and so far, I just think her sex perspective isnt healthy or mature for her age. But there’s little to nothing to suggest actual noncery - dont worry about accusations there. But YanDev is totally a dirty predator. Just clearing that up). Viv NEEDS some harshness and stability if she wants to do things right. And it’ll make her fucking cry but if she loves these projects as much as she claims to, then you’ll sacrifice blood, sweat and tears for that shit. Even the strongest points are mediocre at best when properly observed. She CAN do more, but she’ll have to face the harsh music. Viv wont see this, but if she does, I dont care if it upsets her. Why? Because this is that much of an issue - something she’s cultivated - that she needs to take action and not ignore it or be secretive about it. She needs to grow up and get tougher skin. Im not saying this to cause her pain. In fact, I wouldnt waste my fucking limited time if I DIDNT care. Trust me, I have duties to be met at a certain quota every single day. I say this shit only because I give a shit and care. If we met, she’d fucking hate me. But people like me are good for shaping people up to their potential. And we arent always this ‘tough love’ either. But when someone needs that level of harshness to help themselves, we’re not afraid to lose people or cause upset if the results end up being the best for them. If she ever saw this, she needs to re fucking evaluate her message, her story, and those she’s choosing to welcome into her circle. And all Im seeing is one rookie mistake after the other. Her paid patreon discord. Just like the messages Honest has posted on her side of being harassed (not in Vivs fyi), Ive experienced shit and bullying and even stay silent on their for being attacked for a group I fuckin paid to be in and yet I feel isolated. It’s all arsekissing and ‘thank you viv’ (thats an actual channel-) and it feels like a place of borderline worship and people trying to appease her 24/7 whilst kicking others with different opinions down. There’s so many I love but I aint kissin yer fuckin arse. Ask the closest friend I have - we’re fucking raw and wont just side with each other just because. We’ll call each other out if we think they’ve fucked up and then help each other build themselves up better. Because real fuckin people who actually care wont just want to be adored by you. They’ll care enough to point out your bullshit and help you, even if they upset you at the time. They’re real and upfront with you. People like us arent always the easiest to be close to either because we arent afraid of upsetting someone if it’s in their best interest and to help them. Likewise, we dont go out looking for fights either. Most times, we’re fuckin soft bastards- All this shit listed is the fuckin surface level of the real life hell of this fandom. And unsurprisingly, those who experience little to no toxicity have always been higher on that popularity ‘food chain’ - enough admirers and shared opinions that people wanna arse kiss regardless of their OWN feelings as well as neutral perspectives. I’d say you’re the lucky fans, but you’re not. You’re sheltered, and that isnt always the best way to be sadly. As for the fans. If Ive upset you. Well... I dont care. Because many of you have actively sought me out and weaponised my traumas against me. You never cared about my feelings then. Why should I care about yours? Im not doing this out of malice. Im fed up of humans behaving so pathetically yet claiming to be high and mighty. Most of you have been arseholes to those in and out of the community. The victims and non-victims alike. Hardly any of you considered once my real suffering. You put a drawing over a life. Many lives. You had the audacity to tell me Im full of shit. Some even using my real traumas to make a mockery of me and those Im around with a very similar history. Some with traumatic histories that differ from my own. You hardly ever considered the real lives of those effected. So no, Im not sorry for having the fucking balls to this day to still stand up for our rights and give us a voice that’s long been stolen. Im not sorry for being a fucking victim. Im not sorry for saying what desperately NEEDS voicing. And Im not sorry for not conforming to you or any fandom just to belong. We deserve better than to constantly be your fuckin arse monkeys (well... the trope is butt monkey but yknow-) and to be mistreated, misrepresented and harmed by you. You’re no different to the school bullies who give speeches on anti-bullying day. And I hope every single one of you starts looking into yourselves and improving. PS: Depending on the texts you read, Lucifer is said to have been redeemed or to be redeemed. Fun fact to haunt yalls with~ “

#warning long #long post #hazbin critical #very long rant #important #hear victims voices #just sick of how awful people can treat one another and believe this is acceptable #everyone is accountable #toxic fanbase #Toxic shippers #toxic ships #im literally too fucking old for this #forgive the anger but after years and years it gets so cumbersome and tiring #im happy to be the pariah if it means victims actually get heard and helped

[modern-oedipus]

Covid Vent

No one: Nila, who goes out maybe once in a month due to covid: *listens to coffee shop sounds in youtube to get in mood*  It’s really hard to maintain social isolation now that it has been 5 months. But the cases are going up and up and up, hitting my friends and their families. I myself had to split houses with my mother because she had covid cases in her work place. I don’t think I’d isolate myself this much if I wasn’t in the risk group, but I am. Knowing that I am most likely to go to intensive care and experience the trouble breathing again like I did during the asthma treatment is not good. The potential permanent damage on lungs, for someone like me whose lungs are already more prone to sickness compared to healthy people, is also a big no, considering that I’m only in my early twenties and if everything goes well and I live a normal life I’d live around 50 more years.  50 more years with a disability or isolating myself at home? Isolation, obviously. But this pandemic doesn’t seem to be stopping anytime soon. I am only indoors because both my internships are online & college hasn’t started yet. I know that I’ll eventually have to go out if my college doesn’t switch to online education. It doesn’t scare me at all, though, I am not like, “anxious”. I’m concerned, disturbed, alert, but not in a paranoid anxiety. If I end up catching covid, I’m at least mentally prepared to deal with it. I’m also eating healthy and exercising and don’t really have health problems except for that past-lung-treatments that more or less put me to a risk group (risky enough to concern me, even though I don’t have a chronic illness), so who knows, I might just pass it like a flu as well. No one knows. It’s not good overthinking covid, all I can do is to keep social distancing & mask & hygiene, as always. I’m just so suffocated. I’m more prone to be an extrovert. Before pandemic, I’d only use my house to sleep I’d keep being out in public, attending events, ORGANIZING events, going to coffee shops, club meetings, lots and lots of stage plays, tours, everything. I’d sneak into my friends’ dorms and change cities and just so many more “normal” fun things. I was barely starting to enjoy my life again after the depression healed. Now, I’m mentally ok, but physically trapped. The “watch netflix, read books, stay home” thing is kind of overdosing me right now. I like this shit for a week maybe, not for 5 months. I don’t know how to not risk my mental health while keeping my physical health anymore. Of course, to even HAVE a mental health I need to stay alive, so I’m not complaining- health care workers, people who go to job everyday (including my parents), etc. are in such a harder situation. I know. But my own life is also valid, and while not as troubling and concerning as lives of others right now, well, I think I’m still worth caring, at least by myself. I don’t expect any extra outside compassion or validation (we all are in same situation), me writing my thoughts here is more of me just trying to see my thoughts being worded on screen so that maybe I can come up with a solution to these things as I go. Because I’ve always been a problem-solver rather than just merely venting. (I can’t always solve problems though, I need to work on accepting this fact.) Anyway, I just thought, maybe spending more time outdoors in the natural park that is close to my house could be a good thing. But it’s crowded since it’s outdoors and I really don’t want to share any commonly used areas right now. (I used to be more than okay with this before covid, as I said, I’m mostly extroverted and I like community gatherings, but I like being healthy more), so like... Idk, maybe I can just sort of have phone calls and videochats with my friends as I sit outdoors. Except I don’t even know I have that many friends anymore. I mean, I do- I surely do have bestest of friends in my life that I’m grateful for, but like. I am somehow an introvert magnet and while I’d die for most of my best friends (both irl and online) I don’t really think they are as hype about just chatting as often as I am. (I know that this doesn’t mean they love me any less. They love me in their own way & I love them in their own way so that’s OK.) So like. Maybe Nila, have this BRILLIANT idea of making more friends. Except. Like. You’re at home so you aren’t in much of social gatherings [you aren’t in any! That is insane!] and you don’t really know how to make friends from home. I mean, yes there are online friends but like. EVEN WITH THEM. How can I just *trust* them right away? I can’t, so like. I don’t know. I’m bored af.  On the bright side, today one of my bff from school called me and said he’s back in town and that we should catch up, he’s literally one of the greatest company ever and he wants to see the doggo, so I’m positive we can just have hour 9242309204 hours long in-depth chats again without getting bored (amazing to have people like that in my life). Anyway. I guess the moral of this is:

- I need to accept “the new normal”

- I need to protect myself but try to keep my mental health as good as possible because I like myself more when my mental health is fine and I can also come up with better creations then

- I need to finish my course work (internship) so that I can relax before school starts

- I need to spend more time outdoors but in isolated areas (good luck finding them!) 

- I need to recharge

- I “want to” make more friends or just check up on existing ones! I can’t use the word “need” for this because this would degrade the freedom of the other party. Friends are appreciated, and to some extend, a necessity for social creatures like us, but no “need” will make it happen. I will just make an effort to check up on my existing friends more frequently-- I’m quite selective at this, though, I prefer generally upbringing people who are mature to a certain extend (aka, no obsession, no passive-aggression. yes to personal boundaries, yes to an overall nice attitude [we all can have problems and that’s ok and that’s normal. what /I/ personally don’t wish to be around [with my all respect] is this mindset of “life is a disaster let’s be depressed” thing. I just love love my current friend circle because even if my close friends are just around 7 people, and even if we get depressed or sad or scared, our general look to life is nicer, we don’t make disasters out of regular days, we enjoy talking and chatting, which overall increases our life quality and makes it better. We also communicate & respect & listen to each other and all. I mean. It’s not like that with everyone, and that’s ok, but as I said, this is my personal preference. I prefer having bonds that are good rather than toxic and I am doing my best to be equally good, rather than being toxic to my friends. [I’m sorry I post a lot of Banana Fish to those who don’t know Banana Fish, ok. I know ur bored but like I just cannot help it. I’m trying to tone it down but BANANA FISH.] sOOOOOOOO, SOOOO that’s why it’s not how “i have 29420343204 friends uwu” mindset, like, I noticed I need to be reasonably picky with those I’m close to so that I and people I love can overall have a nice, fun days, which is point of friendship. (I mean. As I said. I’m here on bad days too. But I don’t feel mentally healthy enough to carry the burden of someone else’s depression. It hasn’t even been two months since I’m out of therapy yet, and my mental health is, while not bad, it is fragile. I’d rather not be around those who can [mostly, unwillingly] effect me badly. SO LIKE.  - that’s one hell of a long post nila, but long story short FRIENDS or you’ll die out of boredom

- also just finish your coursework i beg you

- thanks for coming to my ted talk, I actually always offer potential solutions on my vent posts, but this time i wanted to write this publicly [i dont think anyone will read this and i dont mind it] because like. why not? it’s just me thinking and I feel as if this could be of use for some people who are reading this & isolating themselves too. anyway, i love u, stay safe. 

#quarantine #covid19 #social isolation #social distancing #mental health #friendship #health #nila stuff

[thegoodomensdumpster]

I want to use @gingerhaole fanart I just reblogged as an opportunity to clarify what I think about how Crowley and Aziraphale are represented in the different fanworks I’ve seen. All orientations, all relationships, all body parts that Crowley and Aziraphale may chose to have or not to have, and all pronouns are welcome on this blog. Whether they are left for the imagination or not, whether they are unambiguous representation or can be interpreted different ways. I like to be free - and I like people to be free - to explore any and all possibilities and, for those who need it, find the ones that can apply to them through this relationship. Also seeing what seems to be a straight couple and assuming they are a cis man and a cis woman and both heterosexuals is: -trans erasure ( I’m talking specifically about AMAB and AFAB genitals but it doesn’t make much sense for them anyway since all angels have been created genderless, therefore all the angels and demons who chose a pronoun are transgender, but genitals being AMAB or AFAB for either of them and them going by a different pronoun are the closer we can get to irl trans human experience ) - in Crowley’s specific case, it’s also genderfluidity erasure - agender erasure - bisexual / pansexual erasure - asexuality erasure Then there are also aromanticism and other forms of queerness I may not think about right now but are as any bit as valid and deserving of being explored. I have my preferences and headcanons as anyone else, but I’m always happy to discover new takes or to see rare options being extended upon. 

Identifying as queer can be complicated when it’s subtle, especially some forms of queerness like asexuality that can let you feel like cis het experience is still the closest to what you’d describe yourself as and let you to be “not queer enough”. Or being cis and bisexual but in an hetero relationship and passing as straight. And that is not acceptable that the queer community would not be welcoming of orientations and identities that are questionning, fluctuating, or so subtle that they only diverge a tiny bit form the cis het experience. It doesn’t mean every single one of these identities will face the same amount of troubles fitting in our stupid cishet patriarcal society (I cannot stress enough that there is ABSOLUTELY NO COMPARISON TO BE MADE between a transgender person having to fight every single day of their life to be accepted as who they are and a cis asexual who passes for straight unless talking directy about their orientation). 

But being queer isn’t a competition about who struggles the most. Being queer is about being accepting of people’s uniqueness and leaving space for everyone to discover themselves as safely as possible, by being supportive of each other. Also: fuck TERFs. Trying to divide a community whose strenght comes from being supportive by turning useful labels into walls you can’t cross is pure poison. Labels are here to help people put words on who they are IF THEY WANT TO USE THEM, and they are most certainly not cages to trap yourself or others in. They can overlap with other labels, they can change through your life, and maybe none of them might apply to you. That doesn’t make you any less queer, even if you can’t figure out how exactly you are queer, you should always have the right to take the time and explore your identity before settling on a label (if you ever settle on a label, of course). And the queer community should be here to help you out during this time. And even if you turn out to not be queer at the end of your introspection, it shouldn’t matter. You should be welcomed anyway when you are trying to understand who you are. 

So, TL;DR : all representations of Aziraphale and Crowley ( and that goes for other fandoms and ships as well of course ) are as many ways for people to explore their own identity and discover other identities than theirs, and they’re all useful and valid. ( Just adding: it goes without saying I’m in no way talking about horrible things such as pedophilia or the likes. )

#long post #my stuff #queer #psa

[natsubeatsrock]

Should our heroes kill?

So remember how I said that I'm glad that a problem detractors of Fairy Tail have is people being too forgiving? This is part of the reason why.

I can't think of a time I've seen people seriously complain that anyone didn't kill another character in Fairy Tail. Gray had to rush to catch Juvia in Phantom Lord, Erza could have killed Jellal back in Tower of Heaven, and fans are glad as their potential ships are still not unconfirmed by death. The closest thing I can think of is fans being mad that someone like Lisanna didn't die. However, not too many people are going out to say that any character should have killed any other.

That feels kind of weird.

Don't get me wrong. I like that Fairy Tail fans don't have the desire to see XYZ character get killed off for ABC reasons. That should be expected from the guy that says forgiveness is generally good. I'm glad that Natsu isn't expected to kill too many of his enemies or that people aren’t sad when he doesn't finish off someone like Jellal or Gajeel or whoever.

At the same time, this doesn't feel normal.

Like, I know of only one person who has encountered My Hero Academia that actually seems to like Mineta Minoru. Pretty much everyone else seems to either not like him or outright hate him. It's common to see him excluded from fan depictions of Class 1-A and be glad when bad things happen to him. I think it can get to be a bit much at times, but I see where it comes from.

And then people wish for his death. And I have to stop. Ignoring in-universe issues his death would cause for the school, I find it troubling that fans can talk so casually about killing a character in a universe who isn't a villain. I get that the dude's a huge pervert, but Himiko Toga kills people unapologetically and has an actual fanbase. Something feels off about fandom priorities.

And of course, there is the big one: Batman. For the uninitiated, Batman has one famous rule: he does not kill his enemies. While there have been characters he has killed in the past, these are exceptions to this rule. Generally speaking, Batman is not one to kill even the worst of enemies. Part of this is why Zack Snyder's depiction of the character in Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice is so contentious with fans, along with his insistence that Batman killing is within character. (among other stupid comments by him)

This all comes to a head in the famous story Under the Red Hood.  Before the actual story starts, one of Batman's sidekicks, Jason Todd, was kidnapped, beaten, and presumably killed by the Joker. (Thanks to an IRL fan vote, of all things.) It is later revealed that he's back as the titular Red Hood and is mad that Batman didn't kill the Joker because of what happened to him. A lot of fans sympathize with Jason and believe it was wrong for Batman not to break his rule to avenge Jason Todd. 

Though, I think that Batman's response to Jason's plea provides an important answer to this question. He admits that all he's wanted to kill the Joker, however, he refuses to allow himself to. Many interpret this to mean that he thinks he's strong for not killing the Joker. However, I interpret this to mean that he feels he's too weak to kill just the Joker.

And that is an important difference. Anyone who's even remotely aware of Batman knows that he should have no trouble killing the Joker if he actually wanted to. Some even argue he does exactly that at the end of the Killing Joke. The issue is whether or not he can draw the line at only killing the Joker. He could start by killing the Joker and end up becoming the very thing he's worked to destroy. 

Thankfully, the troubles of this aren't lost on Batman. In The Dark Night Returns, he even comments on how doing that means that he’s murdered people. To put it in another way, Batman’s one rule doesn't exist because he thinks of himself as a hero. It's there to prevent himself from becoming a villain.

That is an important question to ask. Is it within a character's nature to kill another human being? When Deadpool pulls the trigger on the person responsible for his mutation, we know it to be within his nature. When Spiderman doesn't kill Uncle Ben's killer, we know that to be within his nature.

I don't know that people fully understand what they ask for when they say "someone should just kill a character". You're asking them to take the life of another person. From our perspective, these characters aren't real and have no technical agency. At the same time, the people in-series are real within their own universe.

Does it make sense for this character to take the life of any character? Would they be willing to make exceptions and kill a specific character for a specific reason? Is this the start of a change in their character or does it not affect them much?

Of course, there's a reason this comes after the talk about forgiveness. A lot of the same kinds of questions you'd ask regarding one character forgiving another are similar to if a character would kill another. Part of the reason is that the choice a character is often faced with is if they should kill a character for something they did or forgive them. Considering I've talked about the forgiveness angle, let's talk about the killing option. 

I think that if you're going to set a character up to kill another character, go through with it. Don't set a character killing another and then fake us out by having them give the kind of weak version of forgiveness I talked about earlier. Have them die and get it over with.

If you want to have them change, set that up well in advance. Give them a reason not to want to kill them or to see them dead. (Note: there is a difference between the two.) Don't give them a cheap conversation about how "this isn't like you" or "you should do the right thing". Give the audience good reasons for why we should believe this specific hero shouldn't kill their specific target.

Rising of the Shield Hero somehow managed to do both in its anime adaptation (I've heard things are different in the original version). I don't love that Raphtalia was faced with a situation to kill and decided to not to go through with it. On the other hand, I appreciate that, when Naofumi had to make a similar decision, it was made under different situations. He decided to save the lives of his tormentors to help someone he actually cared about while coming up with a creative punishment for them instead.

That brings up a fun topic to end on. A lot of people argue that crimes against oppressors, whether they're abusers, ruling classes, or something similar, are justified if done by their those they're oppressing. This is something that I'd normally keep for the topic to come but it's worth talking about in the most extreme case possible - when it comes to killing them.

One of the most hotly debated points about Avatar: the Last Airbender has been its ending. It’s established early on that Aang has to defeat the Fire Lord to keep the world in balance. However, as the end draws near, it becomes clear that Aang has issues with how that may mean killing him. In the end, he is able to find a way to defeat the Fire Lord without having to shed blood. However, many fans think that he should have killed him and keeping him alive was a mistake. (In fairness, I was of this opinion until I saw the actual resolution of this conflict.)

At the same time, I’ve talked about Scar from Fullmetal Alchemist and his revenge quest. To be clear, I get why he went after State Alchemists but think his overall quest wasn’t good. I stand opposed to a lot of people who are very much willing to justify his entire quest, despite any and all drawbacks and in-series issues that his quest has. Mind you, this is one of the big reasons he starts the series out as an antagonist. In their mind, Scar killing the alchemists is a valid form of judgment and justice for their actions.

I bring these examples up to make an important point. Comeuppance comes in many different forms. Sometimes, it can mean getting one over the people who wouldn't think twice to help you. Other times, it can be making people hurt the same way they've made you hurt. I think that we do well to recognize that in our handling these types of dynamics, not everyone will agree with the conclusion your character makes in how they deal with abusers. Recognize that as you write these situations.

Or just don’t write abusers in fiction and let fans argue over ships, I don’t know.

To be continued...

#not fairy tail month: crisis on infinite fandoms #our heroes #this was a fun one #i edited this at like 1 in the morning #and am posting this during a meeting at 7pm #the mashima server finished up their pokemon tournament #i've gained an appreciation of time zones

[the-transfox]

A “Quick” History

I’m gonna put a “keep reading” thing so I don’t clog anyone’s dash or anything, depending on how long this gets. This is basically just a quick background info on my history regarding my gender and related topics.

I’ve never really liked being feminine. Hated dresses, hated makeup, hated showing any amount of my skin, overall just... the entire idea was not my thing. The most feminine thing about me for a long time was my long hair - before I cut it, it had grown down to being an inch or two past my hips. I felt kind of... pressured, to be more feminine at times. I can only recall 2 times I wore a dress - and both times were for other people, and not me, and both times I was intensely uncomfortable and wanted to get out of it immediately. Not that everything about me is intensely anti-feminine - more recently, sometime during the time I was genderfluid (I’ll get to that in a bit), I got black lipstick. I wanted it for the aesthetic - and I only wore it once, and, again, for another person. It’s just sitting around my desk area now, waiting to be used, but never will again as far as I’m concerned. I’ve always been more of a tomboy.

When I was younger, I used to do these kind of IRL roleplay things with one of my best friends at the time. It was edgy shit, where we’d both pretend to be creepy pasta characters and the like and had this whole storyline going on and all sorts of made up drama with the characters. An... overwhelming majority of the characters I chose to act out and represent at the time were all males. I’ve always loved writing males and acting like a male - females were just... hard, for some reason. Always have been, really, even though I am biologically female. One of my favorites to do was the Jeff the Killer, obviously. He was my default, and it just felt natural, almost. It was more fun to do male characters. Hell, my first OC I ever made was a male. It makes a lot more sense now to me, looking back on it. In some cases, in more recent years, I’ve felt like I needed to go with making the character female. And I do have a lot of female OCs, don’t get me wrong. Anyway, with characters such as Coral (one of my sonas; used her often in an IRL roleplay after the former friend moved away and I moved on with another best friend) I felt like I needed to make her female, to... match my friend’s sona, Frost. I wish I hadn’t, now, but whatever. The past is in the past.

Speaking of the past, I’m a believer of past lives. And 99.9% of them are all male. Out of all of my past lives, I can only recall 2 humanoid (saying this because one was an anthro rat) lives that had female genders, and one more that was female though I don’t count because it was the life of a bengal tiger and bengal tigers don’t exactly go by pronouns so there wasn’t a whole lot of gender identity going on there in the first place. It feels natural to have male past lives, and a little... off, to have female ones. Every time I trigger a memory of a male past life, think about it, or talk about it, I used to only subconsciously refer to myself as male - though it felt great. It felt normal. My dumb fucking ass didn’t get a clue that this meant anything about my current gender identity until recently.

Sometime during my phase where I played Transformice more often, I made a separate account where I listed my gender as “male”, as an... experiment, of sorts. Wanted to see what it was like when other people thought I was a guy. I only really used the account for a single day, the day I made it, though that was enough time for me to meet people and interact. I absolutely loved it, though it didn’t occur to me afterwards for a long, long time to even think about what that meant. An embarrassing amount of time, honestly. I found my gender identity and it smacked me in the face and my response had been just “Cool, I’mma go back to being called she/her now”. Big dumbass energy, right here

Sometime in the summer/no later than early autumn of 2019 (my sense of time is... not the best, honestly) I considered becoming genderfluid. After all, I’d started to realize maybe it wasn’t so bad to go by male pronouns. Considered it a test run, of sorts. It was still primarily she/her, but online I gave people the option to call me he/him. Not many people did, but I liked the idea. It made the whole ‘internal male pronouns and identity during past lives shit’ make more sense to me at the time. In early December of 2019, I had the realization. The realization that I actually preferred male pronouns, and the idea of being male was... a lot better, than being female, or even a mix of both. It felt like me. Like it fit. My dumb ass finally figured it out, and luckily the genderfluid thing didn’t drag on for years. Since the switch to male pronouns its still a rare occurrence anybody’s actually used my new pronouns and I’ve heard it (I’ve come out to everyone I know online, though only friends in real life), though one time I was called ‘he’ irl in front of me and it made me feel great. Like a small “yeah... yeah, that’s me.” Not everyone has been completely accepting (like the person I consider my best friend - she’d responded kind of... oddly, when I came out, and said she’d been confused, and openly said that biological sex and gender are the same thing today) but I don’t really care all that much. They’ll learn to accept it if they want to keep me as a friend - or at least tolerate it. If they can’t, then I can’t go through the trouble of keeping them as a friend. One of my friends has been so supportive and it’s been delightful.

Backtracking a little, I realize I forgot to mention the fact that I hate my body. It’s not mine - or at least, it’s not one I want. Every time I think about my past lives I want to go back and have that body again. I want to be a skeleton monster again. I want to be a dragon again. I don’t want to be a weak, pathetic, human female who’s body won’t even gain weight no matter how much I eat or try, and whose throat is actively trying to tear holes in itself. And I’ve never been satisfied with the fact that its female. On a related note, I have the fear of penetration - it’s just... wrong, for anything to go inside of me down there. It should be the opposite. I miss having a cock - I wouldn’t have to worry about this anymore. Wouldn’t have to worry about something going inside of me, or having to be expected to push a fucking disgusting baby out of me. It’s frustrating.

I also feel like I realized I was transgender too late to be valid. I’ve seen so many stories (like Sam Collins) where they realized when they were tiny kids, and... what if that’s what it should be like? What if I’m wrong? What if you’re supposed to know before you’re even a teenager? So many people have realized before then, though some have realized later, and some say you can realize at any age. I just... don’t know. Anyway, that’s about it, I think - if I forgot anything, I’ll make another thing to tack onto this. Feel free to ask me questions.

#transgender #trans #transman #trans man #ftm

[dxmedstudent]

Sorry for the question, but you're like the older sister I don't have... My main problem is this: I'm 23, in my last year of med school and I have 0 experience in love. Never had crushes, or kisses, or anything sexual. I'm not gorgeous but neither ugly, just plain and with a terrible case of resting bitch face. It's not that I'm a recluse at home: I go to uni, study at the library, go swimming twice a week, go out with my friends... [1/3]

Yet nobody is interested in me, and at the same time I'm not interested in anybody... And yet I still crave affection. I was watching a movie earlier and the parents of the protagonist die. I felt a sudden, deep sadness mixed with loneliness because I realized that if my parents were to die, I would be completely alone because yes I have friends, but I really have a strong connection with my parents, I don't have anyone else I trust like I trust them...I really don't know what to do or think, because I consciously know that everybody has their own time and their priorities (mine is to graduate med school) but I really, really feel abnormal because in social situations, when my friends talk about their relationship troubles or their exes, I simply stay silent because I have nothing to contribute... I don't even know what I want with this ask, but I just needed to let this off my chest... Thank you for reading.

Hey, friend. There is no need to apologise! I’m always here to listen if it will make you feel better. You aren’t abnormal, just because you’re experiencing life differently to your friends. Everyone experiences life differently, including romance and sexual attraction. It sounds like you feel left out of discussion, particularly as you don’t feel you can add something due to your lack of experience. You don’t have to talk about them if you don’t want to, and it’s perfectly legitimate for you to just not be interested in them at all. There’s a huge pressure on young people to be in relationships or out there having sex, but that doesn’t mean it’s right for everyone. You don’t have to have experiences to talk about these things; I was giving relationship advice long before I had one of my own. You don’t have to earn the right to talk about these things, if they do interest you, either. You sound like a perfectly normal person; most of us look average; I certainly would never describe myself as stunning. Of the happiest married people I know, I wouldn’t say they are the most conventionally attractive, but that doesn’t matter to your partners. So I want you to know that your looks are not a problem. You say people aren’t interested in you, but I do wonder if it’s because it’s not something you’re interested in, and therefore the vibes you give reflect that. I’m pretty sure I’ve given ‘do not disturb vibes’ like that during busy, stressful parts of my life when romance was the last thing on my mind. Likewise, even when I’ve tried to make friends, I could spot the people a mile off who just... aren’t interesed in getting to know anyone, thank you very much. When you’re open to meeting new people, and actively engaging with people with forming relationships (whether friendship or romance/sexual relationships) as an option, it feels different. But, friend, what I’m hearing from you  - correct me if I’m reading it wrong - is that you perhaps don’t feel a desire to form romantic relationships, or a sexual attraction to people, that you know of. Have you ever considered that you might be part of the aromantic/asexual spectrum?  Sometimes it helps for us to consider where on the spectrum of sexuality we stand; there’s no right answer, only what feels right to you. Not only are some people asexual or aromantic, some people are demi or gray - they experience attraction under more specific circumstances; say, after a bond has been formed, or maybe just more rarely. I don’t know if this is something you’ve ever considered? Have you ever chatted to someone about it? What you’re prioritising at that point also matters; even the people I know who are definitely not aro/ace or demi/grey can go years without pursuing relationships if they are preoccupied or demoralised. I certainly have; a combination of rarely meeting people that ‘clicked’, but also just focusing on other things. But although that may be a part of it for you, it sounds like sexual attraction or relationships may not be something you feel a craving for, or being drawn to. Only you will know, so if that doesn’t feel like it describes you, then it doesn’t.

I’m gonna share something very personal with you, that few people know about me IRL: I’ve never had many crushes; it always seemed to me that other girls were always fiercely crushing. It didn’t help that I had a knack for the unrequited more often than not.  I considered the possibility of being somewhere on the demi/grey spectrum, but really it doesn’ matter; I’m me, and it doesn’t matter if I fall in love once or 100 times, what matters is the connections I make when I make them. I think it has a lot to do with my faceblindness; when your brain finds it hard to remember faces, I wonder if crushes just work differently. Mainly, it becomes more of a problem if you just don’t meet many people, so you can counter it by trying to cast the net a bit wider.  Lots of activities are fulfilling but not social; libraries and hanging out with friends are wonderful, but neither necessarily involve meeting new people who you might click with. If you want to meet people, I’d recommend either clubs and social activities you like, or something like online dating. I realised that I just wasn’t meeting many new people through friends or at work, and most of those people were taken, and I liked very few people. When you open it up to something like online dating, there’s the potential to talk to (and eventually meet) lots of people, so it increases your chance of getting to know or be attracted to someone you like, if you find that’s a rare event for you. If you need to get to know people to feel attracted, then mixing with your friends’ friends, or getting to know colleagues at work, or making friends through a club can be a good way of getting to know lots of people, until you find someone ‘special’.   I want you to know that it’s OK, whether you crush on people all the time, rarely crush on people, or never crush on people. Even if you’re completely asexual and aromantic, it’s completely valid, and it doesn’t mean you can’t form deep, meaningful relationships with people. Asexual people often still form romantic partnerships (with or without sex) if they choose to, and aromantic people often find fulfilment in deep platonic relationships even though there is no romance involved. You talk about desiring affection, and wanting someone to be very close to; those are possible even if you’re not sexually or romantically attracted to someone. Because support and intimacy come in all sorts of forms; I’m proud to say that some of my friendships are very intimate in terms of what we trust each other with (though completely different to my romantic relationships, that doesn’t make them lesser); so you can definitely find people who you can form close, trusting, long-lasting and share your life with them. One of my most wonderful friends is going through a hard time; they were disowned by their abusive family a long time ago, and now they are going through a divorce; they are scared of being left all alone. Having a romantic relationship is no guarantee of lifelong support, because circumstances change. Which is why nurturing meaningful friendships is also important. It’s tough, but we are here for them; out of a close knit group, everyone immediately offered to put them up at the first hint of trouble, and the group shares things we’d share with almost nobody else. The relationships that are close, and last, can look different for everyone; you will find something that works for you.  I think it might help you to read up about aro/ace spectrum, and talk to people who are going through something similar. I also think it might help for you to take some time to think about why you want someone. Connection and intimacy, yes. Having someone you trust. But is that something you desire from a relationship? Is that something you feel you get from your current friends? Is that something you feel you could get from a very close friend or platonic life partner? You don’t have to find the answer to any questions any time soon. But there’s definitely plenty of hope for you to find intimacy and companionship in your life.

#askdx #dxdates #dx dates #Anonymous

[thicctoasts]

Big Character Energy cheat sheet

Big K Energy

Bats, dogs, crows, beetles

Has a large weakness for dogs, especially afterlife/ghost dogs. She often visits pet cemeteries to call the dogs to play.

Is an demon !! (Salt is the enemy)

Neutral and dark color palette, wears majority black or dark colors, but isn't opposed to lighter colors.

Is in fact a demon taking on a human form, but has strong doubts of the spirit world/afterlife/ghosts. Is very realistic and science based in her beliefs, (much like Christians vs agnostics)

She has been alive for hundreds of years, knows extensive history of the world, has witnessed the rise and falls of industries, and knows many languages such as Latin, English, Japanese, and Korean.

Musky and heavy scents appeal to her. Dark, cologne-y, woody.

Appreciates the earth, life, and things that are temporary.

Has an odd fascination with death, as she is (probably) immortal, often wonders what death is like.

Has dark night time energy, but values sleep and thoroughly enjoys the human experience of checking out for 10-12 hours. (This does not mean she likes the day either, she prefers to be inside doing things. Major homebody.)

Big Rose Energy

P L A N T W I T C H

Her familiars include birds, mostly local finches and songbirds, cats, and a snake or two.

Has a very green thumb, plants growing all over her home, and she tends to poke around in other peoples plants too, blessing them with a little green magic.

Intimidating Swamp recluse on the outside, chill swamp recluse (who enjoys friends and having fun) on the inside.

Is also an ancient being who is bilingual, speaking latin, English, Italian, and french.

Likes making new uses for used or found objects. She has MANY tips for storage in her cabin.

Listens closely. Although she is a powerful witch, she prefers to blend, but this Grants her access to knowledge most people wouldn't think she knows.

Uses potions and tinctures for benefitting her plants and crops. She grows a good majority of the food she eats in her garden, whispers healthy her spells to her growing plants, and buries sigils with her new seedlings to promote joy and good intentions.

Simple color palette based on nature, muted, and gentle on the eyes. Greens, browns, whites, blues.

Enjoys time alone in her bog! She loves the little marsh creatures, especially the frogs and lightning bugs. (She is very glad she found a home in the swamp! It makes her happy!)

Makes her own wine & grinds her own coffee

Big Cyphus Energy

Trust issues, wandering mind, indecisive, tendency to need validation.

Is always working on breaking old habits and doing better for herself.

Needs to be warm! She's a snake, idiot! Warm beds, warm coffee, warm house, warm clothes (someone to warm her heart?)

Loves her friends, even though she might come off a bit hesitant to open up.

Has a strong connection to animals, mostly reptiles (duh) and likes to keep them as pets. (She won't keep a snake in an enclosure, however, her "pet" snake, Syrup, is a free range snake who comes and goes as she pleases, but always returns to Cyphus's home at night when the weather cools down)

Is sometimes self conscious of her body, given her vitiligo and you know, snake body.

Loves yellows, greens, blues, and whites! Happy color palette!

Snake body is VERY STRONG. She often works out by stretching her Snakey muscles, climbing trees, and navigating rough terrain.

She sleeps in a canopy bed with blackout canopies. She can stretch out or curl up. She sometimes falls asleep on the support beams in her ceiling though, with her noodle body draped around the beams.

She loves coffee. Needs coffee. Constantly has it coursing through her veins. (She says it's a heat source but has she heard of like, tea?)

Can have very stupid moments, but has the best intentions.

Big Bunny Energy

Rabbit? Cryptid Thing with wings? Bird? Who knows.

Looks like she belongs, or came out of, the late 80s. Loves 80s music, fashion, the aesthetics. Everything.

Is a cryptid/legend of the town itself. Some tourist named her "the breezy bunny" online and it stuck. She is loved by the town, and the town keeps her, and her friends, safe from amature ghost hunters looking for their next article.

Obsessed with halloween and scary things. Loves skulls, skeletons, ghosts, trick or treating, and the creepy vibe of it all. She loves supervising the town children when they go out for candy.

She lives in a small treehouse-like home, built into an outcropping/little cave of a large, rocky hillside, supported by trees who are older than the town. Her home is high off the ground, accessible by a less than ideal trail, rock stairs, or flying.

She sleeps in a hammock in the rafters of her home (she does have a mattress on the ground though, just in case)

Loves to explore feelings and thought. She observes humans and their behaviors, and she offers what she's learned to her friends. She asked Dr. Shepherd at the clinic what it was to learn about peoples problems and want to help them, and he said it was called Psychology? Hm. That's really interesting! She loves helping and making people Better!

Often wears blues, deep reds, greys, and blacks. Very calming color choices, but is not afraid of brighter colors!

Loves to make others laugh. Often jokes to help people through things, but had to learn the hard way when enough was enough.

She has some issues concentrating and getting tasks done, she has a lot of energy that needs to be released (tics & stims based off IRL mental illness) and she often taps, fidgets, and has trouble structuring her words.

K, her best friend, taught her human behaviors, English, and helped shape her into less of a cryptid, and more into something society wouldn't balk at.

Is loyal, loving, empathetic, and wants to do her best to help and give to whoever she cares about.

Big Nola Energy

Voodoo witch!

Specializes in tarot cards, potion making, and spells. She also speaks spells and good intentions into her cooking.

Loves PURPLE ! Amethyst, lavender, flowers, anything!

Her hair is naturally red, but might be enhanced by her magic (and hair dye)

BIG into astrology, (is a VRIGO) she and Bunny always research astrology for their friends and the people they meet.

She is introverted and introspective, and can sometimes be difficult to open up and trust someone fully.

Loves practicing magic. She loves learning spells, whispering magic into her cooking, and speaking to the spirits and universe while doing tarot cards readings. 

Although she is a witch, and will be alive for a long time, she is a very young witch, only being alive for roughly 40 years. She has not witnessed much rise and fall of the world around her. She has a lot to learn about practicing witchcraft, but is practicing a more modern form of magic, given that she is not several hundred years old. (a millennial witch for all intents and purposes)

she is rumores to be a rarity though, as not many redheaded witches made it to pass on their genes.

Her familiars include: cats, rabbits, and some butterflies and bumblebees.

She feels very connected to the moon and stars. She does her best work under the cover of night, but with the helpful light of the moon.

she has a small townhome in the middle of the town, but in her basement is a TOTAL witches lair! Can’t let just anyone see her practicing magic!

#NEBWV STORY #ne:bwv #original characters #babies