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#if you ignore it it cant come true
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its so mindboggling that people can go “how can you say free palestine if you’re queer” as if the opinions a person has changes the validity of their life??? yall sound real similar to the people saying trans people are a danger to society
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snekdood · 1 year
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Im so tired of acting the way i think some ppl on here think i should act. Im tired of assuming theyre seeing me through the lens my ex provides for them. Im tired of feeling like nothing i say or do matters anyways because people have made up their mind about me and refuse to try to see me in another light. I know who I am and I know what im like and im tired of trying to almost essentially help people see me change my behavior for the better from something i never even was? Because i guess i feel like if i act like most people dont know about the issues between me and my ex that means other people will think im just *pretending nothing is wrong or happening*. It feels like i cant win either way. I cant play pretend as this horrible person whos trying to reform and have people allow me the chance to actually change and recognize that change and i cant also be myself and just know myself without people thinking im just ignoring this thing that isnt even a thing i need to work on or ever even fucking did. Im so tired of feeling convinced that other people are convinced im horrible and having to work from there and having to try to navigate that situation and get someone to see my side of things because ive just come to the conclusion that some people just will refuse to and idk. Theres nothing i can do in this situation. I just know i didnt deserve any of it.
#im like one of the most careful fucking people in the world istg#even before all of this but now especially after this bc im operating under the assumption that ppl see me as if im not#i almost feel brainwashed by what i think others perception of me is like online.#and then i try to go through the steps i think someone who did fo those things would do. or as if i did do those things and what id do#in that situation afterward. but i didnt do those things. and i dont need to live and operate as if i did to prove to other ppl i have the#emotional and mental maturity that i do#i dont need to sit here and let people gaslight me into their perception of me or at least what i think it is#i am such a good stinky lil guy. its people like my ex and the people around them online that brought out all this bitterness in me.#i resent those people so much. and i cant help but feel like theyre all stalking me still all the time. they want me to live like that too#like im in a panopticon. but this is what im saying- if i move on like i know myself and operate as myself the way ik myself#THOSE PEOPLE will come around and then act like im ignoring the situation with my ex and 'trying to escape responsibility'#i dont know why i feel so obedient to their perception. i mean i guess i know why like probably bc of my brother pushing me into a box#and me feeling like i have to stay in there or be abused. i feel the same way with my ex- if i dont act like ive been in the box they put#me in this whole time then they are going to get mad at me and try to come after me more i feel like.#i feel like thats when theyre really going to try to sic their followers or friends after me.#idk but im going to stop. i dont care how you see me. its not real. its not true. it never was. i was abused by this person and thats the#final truth about it. im not saying i couldnt have been reactively abusive sometimes with them but all the things they say i did#that they did to me but say i did but x10 worse? no. fuck off. thats not fucking me. you DONT KNOW ME. YOU HAVENT BEEN AROUND ME#ALL MY LIFE GROWING UP. IF YOU KNEW ME YOU WOULD KNOW ID NEVER DO THAT SHIT. YOU WOULD FUCKING KNOW THAT.#which is why i know you dont know me. none of you do. im tired of operating the way i think you want me to.#im tired of trying to empathize with people i dont want to LIKE my ex or my brother or my sister or my dad#im tired of trying to see things the way they do. how my ex is probably just this dumb scared kid inside who does dumb shit and doesnt#think about the consequences and doesnt care about the consequences of their actions because their only priority is#self preservation. like i dont care. i understand but i dont care. they still hurt me. they still did what they did to me.#they still know they did something wrong otherwise they wouldnt have started this whole smear campaign.#im tired of trying to sympathize with them. give them a million chances to change. do what i can to encourage them to actually have empathy#even towards the people they hurt and like to smear.#because they dont do the same for me. i know. i know theyre still shit talking me. i know they cant stop because if they did theyd have to#have more empathy about me on a whole lot of things they dont want to think about bc they dont want to feel about how they treated me#and continue to treat me by keeping up this narrative abt me online. they dont give a fuck so why am i extending so much to them.
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a-plasticine-dream · 5 months
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sometimes, when I'm feeling lonely, I look through your account to see how you're doing. I know it's not healthy, and I know I shouldn't. But I just want to know how you're doing, and if you are safe (and maybe if you think about me the way I think about you)
I don't know if I want you to see this, I don't know if you look for me the way I look for you. I don't even know if you'll get that this is about you. I'm just shouting into the void in the hopes that maybe I'll get better
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nanaslutt · 6 months
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Ok but giving gojo road head and he feels so good he has to pull over in the nearest parking lot to properly enjoy it oh my god just imagine his head bent backwards and his mouth open eyes closed moaning I can’t I need to suck his cock honestly ❤️ and maybe like if ur feeling a tad bit silly he could be a head pusher in this one 😁😁😁teehee just maybe ONLY jf ur feeling silly nana mwah!
OH I LOVE THIS we’re getting straight into this oh em gee
contains: fem reader, oral(m!receiving), sensitive!gojo, sooooo much dirty talk, road head :p, manhandling, throat fucking, headpusher!gojo <3
MDNI
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔
Your hands were all over Gojo, trying to rip off his belt, unzip his pants, and get his cock out as quick as possible.
“Baby slow downn,” he laughed, “My cock ain’t goin anywhere,” He placed a big hand on top of your own while you tried to undo his belt.
“We’ll be home in 20 minutes, ‘s my girl that needy?” he smirked. You ignored his teasing, pushing his hand out of the way; making him giggle and submit, placing it back on the wheel with his other hand.
You had just finished going shopping together. Gojo needed a new designer suit for some fancy get together with the jujutsu higher ups soon, dragging you along with him.
You protested at first, not wanting to spend your day off suit shopping with gojo. You would much rather cuddle up with him on the couch, but you didn’t want to be alone, so you caved, letting him drag you along with him.
And god damn it if you weren’t glad you did. Tight fitting suit after suit being tried on, all tailored perfectly to his measurements, accentuating his big biceps and toned frame.
Watching him roll up his cuffs and fiddle with his jacket was making your mouth water. You were clenching your thighs as he smoothed his big hands down his chest, veiny hands coming up to tighten the tie on his neck.
“How do I look baby? Ya like this one?” He asked, completely unaware of how something so simple as him trying on suits made you want to devour him right this second.
He found out your true feelings later, bringing you back to the car as you finally undid his difficult zipper after struggling with it for a while, reaching your smaller hands into his pants to pull his semi-hard cock out.
“You got this worked up while I was playin dress up? So dirtyy~,” he teased, biting his lip and smirking while you stroked his length in your warm hands, getting him fully erect.
“Satoru,” you said sternly, leaning your body over the center console and placing your mouth inches from his cock, “shut. up.” The second your words were out his cock was filling up your mouth, quickly falling into a rhythm as you bobbed your head up and down on his cock, making his hips jolt up into your mouth when he drove over a bump, making you gag.
“Ahh- A-hh shittt baby,” Satoru groned, eyes fluttering as he tried to keep his focus on the road, occasionally dropping his gaze to watch the show you were putting on for him.
He dropped a heavy hand on your head, pushing down slightly, making you wince as it hit the back of your throat, “Thought you wanted my cock so bad huh? Cant take it?” he smirked, relishing in the feeling of you swallowing around him, trying to hold back your gags.
Your hand came up to place it on top of his challengingly, pushing his hand down against you. “Oh yeah?” he smirked. Gojo’s fingers curled into your hair as leverage as he started bobbing your mouth up and down on him like a cock sleeve.
“Such a thirsty girl- fuckkk- such a tight fucking throat.” He was trying his best to keep the acceleration of the car at one speed, his legs jerking and jolting every so often when he felt his tip hit the back of your throat, making his driving a little sketchy.
The vibrations from your moans combined with the tightness of your throat as you choked around him was going straight to his balls, “Gonna make me c-crash the fuckin car holy shiiiiit,” he whined, jaw dropping as moans repeatedly fell from his tongue.
Gojo couldn’t take this for much longer, he yanked you back from his dick, popping your mouth off of him with a wet sound as you coughed and sputtered in the air, hand immediately coming down to stroke him still.
“Gotta pull over, ‘s too fuckin much” he said out of breath, face red and heart beating out of his chest as he took the next exit the freeway provided.
His abs were clenching, back coming off from the back of his seat as you rubbed your thumb on the underside of his cock, right under his head, “Babyyyy, killin me, h-hold on just hold on please,” he wined, his big hand coming down to grip your wrist tight as he frantically searched for a semi secluded place to pull over.
Once he found a nice gravel patch off the side of the road covered decently with thick trees he turned the wheel a little too hard to the side, car rocking the both of you as you settled into the spot.
Gojo quickly put the car into park and flipping his hazards on before he brought you back down onto his cock, “All yours baby, take my fucking dick,” he groaned.
Your lips immediately came to suckle on his tip, before sliding down the length of his cock again. This time he just let his hand rest on your head, slightly pushing down on the downstroke.
His head was tipped back against the seat as loud groans and wines spilled from his slack jaw, “goddd baby that feels so good-“ he choked out, running his hands through your hair.
His abs clench when you swallow around him, moans being cut off with a gag when his dick reached too deep in your throat.
You pop your lips off his dick, rotating your wrist around him while while you jerk him off, “yeah? my throat feel good?” you moan, biting your lip while smiling up at him.
“Yes yes so fucking good pretty, so good” He smiled back at you. His big hand comes up to grip your neck, squeezing as he pulls you up to his mouth, “Don’t stop jerkin’ me off” He whispers before he crashes your lips together, moaning at the taste of himself on your tongue.
The kiss is so messy; whenever you twisted your twist around his wet tip his jaw would fall open, and his pretty blue eyes would roll back in his head.
“Fuuuuck, Im so close- fuck-“ He moaned into your mouth, gojo’s body jerking when you started pumping him more vigorously.
“Wanna cum d-down ur throat princess, cmon, why don’t you suck my dick again, huh?” His grip still hard on your neck as he gave it w squeeze to emphasize his need.
Gojo was trying his hardest to keep his composure, trying to stave off his orgasm long enough to at least feel your lips around him again, but your hand movements around his cock was making that task feel impossible.
You bit your lip and nodded, feeling his member start to pulse in your hand. He released your neck, letting you drop your head down to his cock again.
You started to kitten lick the tip softly, dipping your tongue into his leaky slit; but gojo was having none of that.
Without warning he shoved the entirety of his cock down your throat, bobbing your head up and down with his new grip on your hair, “Sorry baby, cant put up w-with your fuckin’ teasing when i’m this close” He smirked down at you, watching you struggle to take him.
You adjusted quickly, breathing through your nose so you wouldn’t choke, and focusing on sucking and rolling your tongue around him to get him to finish as fast as possible.
“Yesyesyes just like that fuck- right there-“ His grip tightened at his head fell back with a ‘thmp’ against the headrest when your tongue caressed a particularly sensitive spot on the underside of his dick.
You were paying special attention to the thick vein running along the underside of his cock, and it made him feel fucking dizzy. His head was spinning every time your mouth fully engulfed him.
You continued your ministrations, letting the massive man above you manhandle you; pulling and tugging at your hair for his own pleasure, and steadily bringing himself to his orgasm.
“I’m gonna cum babe, oh my godd” He let his chin fall back down, jaw slack and eyes heavy as he watched your mouth create a mess of spit all over his cock.
Spit strings connected from your chin to his abdomen and balls, the feeling of you moaning and gagging around him; it was all too much.
You felt his cock twitch before you tasted him; his heavy hand pushing you to the base of his dick as hot ropes of his cum shot down your throat.
You swallowed his cum up greedily, like it was the antidote for some poison to save your life. “Fu-uuuck yeahhh” he wined, biting his lip hard watching you try to keep up with his orgasm flooding your mouth, “Just-like-that- swallow it alllll,” he emphasized by thrusting his too sensitive dick into your mouth.
His whole body was buzzing, long legs shaking from the intensity of his orgasm, mind feeling like jello as the aftershocks ran through his body.
When the stimulation became too much for him; and right when your vision started to be covered in black dots from asphyxiation; he pulled you away from his dick.
Still holding your hair as your hand came down to rub at your throat, coughing and gasping for air in the process. “Show me.” he demanded.
Your foggy mind knew exactly what he meant; sticking out your tongue you showed him how you swallowed every last drop of his seed into your tummy, smiling when you put your tongue back in your mouth.
Gojo’s big hand came up to pat your cheek, releasing your hair and opting to grip your jaw in his hand, “Good fucking girl baby~” He cooed, smashing your faces together.
You felt his tongue dart inside your mouth, greedily licking around, trying to taste himself in your mouth.
He pulled away with a smirk, spit string connecting the two of you as he gave you a quick peck, “God i’m still fucking shaking haha” He laughed breathlessly, making you giggle.
Gojo stared into your eyes for a couple more seconds, biting his lip looking at the expanse of your face before his sighed, dropping his hold on your chin.
“Okaayyyy~” He sighed out, tucking himself back in his pants and buckling his seatbelt back up.
By this point you were positive you had drenched a spot through your panties, pants, and his car seat with how aroused you felt, so you felt ecstatic at his next words.
Putting on his blinker and pulling out into the street, his big hand came to rest on your thigh, patting it a couple times before speaking, “I’m gonna eat your pussy till your fucking crying when we get home as thanks for that.”
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bucks-babe · 5 months
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Friends Don't Lie
Paring: Bucky x f!reader
Summary: Wanting to know if your crush likes you, you go to Bucky for help, the only problem is, Bucky is your crush
Warnings: Slight angst, fluff, Smut (oral f receiving, p in v), unprotected sex (don’t do that), friends to lovers, crying, praise kink, soft!Bucky is a warning, Roommate!Bucky, Bucky calls reader kid just to piss her off for a bit but not when they’re doing the thang thang, no actual age gap though, no use of Y/N
Word count: Over 5k Idk what happened
A/N: This is my first ever fic so please go easy on me. If I missed any warnings, please let me know. Any and all mistakes are my own
Sighing, you walk into the apartment you share with Bucky. He’s sitting on the couch sporting his signature grumpy frown. Your heart beats that much faster when you lay your eyes on him. Honestly, you don’t know how he looks that hot with just a black t-shirt and jeans on. 
“Hey, what’s got your panties in a twist, Buck,” you chime as you plop down onto the couch next to him, now noticing the bottle of whiskey in his hands. He only glances at you before taking another swig of his whiskey.
“My panties aren’t in a twist, kid,” he huffs.
You cringe at the nickname he gave you. In all reality, you were only 3 years younger than him, but he knows how much you hate being called kid. In true Bucky fashion, he calls you kid all the time, just to get under your skin. “Really, then why are you drinking at,” you check your phone for the time before cocking your eyebrow, “2 o’clock in the afternoon?”
He completely ignores your question so you press on. “Well since you aren’t doing anything, I need your help.”
This seems to catch his attention just a little, “With what?”
“Well…” you trail off only to continue when you catch his eye, “I need some relationship advice and I can’t go to Sam about it because he is the worst.”
“I’m supposed to be good at relationship advice? I’m not the right person to come to, kid.” He replies, seemingly even more annoyed than he was before you walked into the apartment, and takes another swig out of his bottle.
You snatch the bottle out of his hand (ignoring Bucky’s Hey! That’s mine!) and take a swallow, “You know how much I hate being called kid, Buck. But yes, I need relationship advice”
“Why can’t you go to Sam about this; he seems to think that he is an expert at everything?” he practically whines as he rolls his eyes and leans back into the couch, spreading his legs and giving you a great view of his thick thighs in those jeans.
“Because, Buck, Sam will just make fun of me, and I know for a fact he cant help me with this.” To be fair to Sam, he would probably give you good advice, but he would make fun of you for your crush on Bucky.
“And I won’t?” Bucky scoffs before taking the bottle back from your hands. 
“Well, you would make fun of me, but Sam would never let me live it down, okay,” you can already feel your cheeks starting to heat up and regret seeping into your pores for talking to the very person you want to be in a relationship with about relationship advice.
“I think I already know who you need the advice about, don’t I,” Bucky turns his head toward you and cocks an eyebrow.
“What!” It feels like ice is coursing throughout your entire body. There is no way that he knows you're talking about him. “Uh… wh-who do you think I’m talking about?” Nice save, dipshit. You are mentally punching yourself in the face.
He takes one final gulp of his whiskey, wiping his mouth with the back of his palm, and sets the bottle on the coffee table, “I’m pretty sure I know who you have feelings for. The question is, do you really think you have a chance?” Oh my God - he knows and this is his fucking warning to walk away. Pretend like this never happened and leave - now
“Who-who do you think I’m talking about.” Wow, nice save. Always repeat the question, it never makes you look more suspicious. If he wasn’t onto you already, he sure as hell knows now.
“It’s rather obvious, don’t you think?” God you hope not, “Let me guess, Rogers?”Huh? an amused, little smirk appears on his face, blue eyes waiting for your reaction.
“St-Steve?!” Okay, not where you thought this was going but at least he doesn’t know you like him.
“You’re blushing,” he puts an arm over the back of the couch and crosses one leg over the other, “and stuttering. Seems like I was right, huh?” that stupid, gorgeous smirk is still on his lips.
“No! I do not have a crush on Steve Rogers! Ew, no. Why would you even think that, Buck?” Maybe you shouldn’t have had such a visceral reaction to him thinking you liked Steve, but you’ve never seen Steve as anything other than a great friend; however, once you started talking, you couldn’t stop. “I do like someone, Buck, but the thing is… well I don’t know how to tell if they like me back. I mean, every relationship I’ve been in has been so…so superficial. I would like them, but I don’t think they ever liked me, you know? It was always about the sex and what I could give them.” Shut up Shut up “This is why I need your help. I’ve never had someone like me for me and I don’t know how to tell if what I feel for this guy, who is most definitely not Steve, is reciprocated.” Why are you still talking?!
“Calm down, kid,” Bucky’s hands on your shoulders cut you off from your rant. The smirk is gone from his face, replaced with a look that is slightly less grumpy looking than his normal face. “It’s only me, remember? I’m sure whoever this guy is, he likes you for who you are, kid.” He once again leans back against the couch.
Your scoff brings the smirk back to his face, which is now more annoying than pretty.
“You know what, I think I’m just going to go to bed.” As you go to get up from the couch, Bucky grabs your wrist and pulls you back next to him, much closer than you were before.
“Who is it, kid? I can help you, only if you tell me who it is.” It feels like he is staring into your soul, like he can see right through you and you hate it. Fear bubbles up inside of you.
“Why do you need to know who the guy is, huh? I need advice and you said you would help me.” He’s getting too close to the truth; if he keeps pressing the matter, he’s going to find out that it's him you like, and that will not end well. You can feel the heat coming off of his body just like his stare is heating your cheeks.
“Kid, just tell me who it is you like and I can help.” He leans forward in his seat and you can tell that he is getting pissed off. Maybe you're reading too much into the situation, but Bucky might be getting mad because he likes you? Impossible.
“Help how? Do you know who likes me?” Smooth 
“I can tell you if this guy, who isn’t Steve, likes you, I just need a name first, kid.” He crosses his arms in front of his chest, making it very clear that he is not happy with how the conversation is going.
“Wait! You do know if someone likes me!” You’re desperately clutching at straws to keep his attention off of who you like, knowing that it’s fruitless.
“Yeah, I do. But right now I don’t care because you still won’t tell me who you like.” Bastard! That stupid, pretty smirk is back and he knows he won.
“I’ll make you a deal, you tell me who already likes me, and I’ll tell you who I like.” 
“Deal.” Rolling his eyes, Bucky finally leans back and it feels like you can catch your breath again. “It’s Sam, he likes you, kid.” Bucky knows that he is lying through his teeth, but he is a great liar and this will get you to tell him who your crush is.
“Sam?” You can’t help the way your face falls or the disappointment in your voice. You knew it was a long shot, Bucky liking you that is, but he didn’t even bat an eyelash when telling you that Sam of all people liked you.
“Yep,” he pops the p. “Sammy boy likes you. Now, who do you like?” He can’t even pretend to care about throwing Sam under the bus or who he will now hate for the rest of time for taking his girl from him before he could make you his.
“Uh… it’s Sam. Yep…Sam. I like Sam, so this actually works out really great… thanks, Buck.” It sounds like a lie even to your own ears, let alone to Bucky’s.
“Come on, kid. Spit it out.” Somehow Bucky’s final braincells piece together your reaction. You like him. That is the only explanation as to why you won’t tell him who you like. “Kid, do you like me?”
You start to choke on your own spit and if you weren’t blushing before, you definitely are now. “Wh-wh-what? You? No!”
Bucky’s eyes light up just a fraction and his right hand cups your chin. “You like me, kid.” It’s not framed as a question, but rather a statement. Maybe it was the whiskey finally taking effect, but he tilts your head so you are looking directly at him and your breath hitches in your throat. “I like you, too.” It’s a whisper, but it pulls you out of your stupor.
You wheel back and jerk out of his grasp. “That’s not funny, asshole. Who said that I liked you?”
“Me.” Was his only response. “Didn’t you hear what I said, kid? I like you, too,” a chuckle left his lips.
“That is not funny, Buck. Don’t play with my feelings like that.” You don’t know why, but you feel tears begin to well up in your eyes. For a second, you thought that Bucky liked you back, but this was all some cruel joke. Of course Bucky was just messing with you.
“Hey, kid, look at me. Don’t cry.” The smirk on his face is gone, leaving only concern; this is worse, those pretty eyes looking at you with pity. “I wasn’t joking. I actually like you back, okay.” Guilt bubbles up in his chest when he sees tears fall down your cheeks. “Aw, sweets, you’re too pretty to cry.” He coos, wiping your tears with his thumbs.
“What did you just call me?” The pet name seems to bring you back to the moment. You’ve never heard him call anyone sweets, and the name made you feel special inside.
“Huh?” Now it is Bucky’s turn to be confused.
“You called me sweets, not kid.” You tilted your head, feeling your heart rate pick up.
“Well, it would be a little weird if I called you kid when I do this.” His face was only centimeters away; you could feel his breath on your lips. He was waiting for you to give the all clear, a sign that this was okay. You were the first one to make a move, closing the gap between you two. 
When your lips connected, you let out an involuntary moan; you’ve dreamed about kissing him and what he would taste like but nothing could compare to the real thing. He tasted of the whiskey he was sipping on and something distinctly Bucky that you couldn’t put your name on, but frankly you didn’t care when he was kissing you so good.
With his hands still on your jaw, he tilts your head to where he wants it, making you gasp. His tongue enters your mouth and now it’s his turn to moan. One of his hands falls down to your thigh and he pulls you into his lap, not breaking the kiss.
You were the first one to pull away, regrettingly, but you needed oxygen and as much as you wish you could breathe him in, it wasn’t possible to sustain life. You wrap your arms around his middle and bury yourself into his neck, and the arm around your thigh travels up to your waist, while his other hand goes to the back of your head.
“Hey, easy, sweets. I can barely breathe.” You can feel more than hear Bucky’s chuckle, but you only bury yourself deeper into his shoulder, feeling a sudden rush of emotions. Never in a million years did you think that Bucky would kiss you, or that you would be on his lap. “Are you okay, sweets? Come on, talk to me.” Bucky can feel how tense you are on top of him, and it makes him worry.
Once again, there are tears in your eyes. At this point, you don’t know if they ever went away, “I just never thought that you would like me, you know?” The hand on your head doesn’t try to pull you away, but rather massages where it lays.
“Well, I do, sweets, so you’re gonna have to get used to me. How about that?” You just nod into his shoulder and wiggle deeper into his embrace. Bucky lets out a low groan and the hand on your back drops down to your hip, holding you in place. “You’re gonna have to stop moving, sweets.” You can feel the hard bulge in his pants from you moving around, causing a giggle to leave your lips, the tears once again subsiding.
“Oh, you think this is funny, huh, kid?” He brings back the nickname just to tease you and you know it.
“Hey! I’m sitting on your dick right now, please don’t call me kid, Buck.” Bucky throws his head back and the most beautiful laugh leaves his mouth. He’s laughing so hard that you are slightly bouncing on his lap and your core hits the raised zipper of his pants. A whine leaves your lips while his laughter turns into a choked groan.
“Fuck, sweets, come here.” He pulls you back in for another kiss while he leans back into the couch. Involuntarily, your hips grind against his and he is swallowing your moans in his mouth.
You sit up a little and pull him up with you. Tugging at the bottom of his shirt causes him to break your kiss, “You want my shirt off, sweets?” You can only whine in response and tug on it again, but Bucky isn’t helping you take his shirt off until you speak.
“Please, Buck.” God you’re already out of breath and he’s only kissed you.
“That’s a good girl. See that wasn’t so hard was it?” Oh fuck. A high pitched moan leaves your throat at his praise. Bucky chuckles, he’s found your praise kink and he’s not going to let it go now.
He takes pity on you and takes his shirt off, but doesn’t give you time to ogle at his shirtless body before his hands are underneath your hoodie, warm palms running up and down your naked skin. “Can I take this off, pretty girl? Can I see my pretty baby, huh?” You nod your head so fast you make yourself slightly dizzy, but he makes no move to actually remove your top, waiting for you to speak.
“Yes, Bucky. I want you to take it off please.” A hum of approval leaves him as he takes your hoodie off.
“Fuck,” it comes out under his breath when he sees you in just your bra and pants. “Prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. You know that? You know how pretty you are?” Fuck, you can’t do this. He’s saying the things you always wanted him to say to you, but now you don’t know how to handle it. He lays you down on the couch and you can feel the outline of his hard cock through both of your pants.
When his hand goes up you back to your bra, your brain goes into overdrive. “This isn’t just sex, right?” You need this to mean something to him too. It can’t just be sex; you can’t do just sex. It would break your heart.
Bucky chuckles a little before giving you a chaste kiss, clearly missing your desperation for it meaning something more. “Let me show you how much you mean to me, sweets? Let me make you feel good.” His hands are on your leggings, fingers in the waistband. 
“You won’t leave me after, right? You’ll stay with me?” God, are you crying again? This might be your only chance to be with him and you’re blowing it! The crack in your voice gets his attention and his hands leave your bottoms to cup your face once again, thumbs wiping your tears.
“Hey, sweets, look at me?” You meet his eyes; they are filled with a softness you’ve never seen from him before. “Of course I won’t leave you. I just got you, and now you’re going to be stuck with me for a very long time, okay, sweet girl? You’re mine and I’m yours.” He rests his forehead on yours after kissing all of your tears away.
“You’re mine?” 
“All yours, okay?” After you nod, he pulls you back up so you're sitting on his lap and holds you close to his chest. “How about we just calm down for a little bit, okay? I didn’t mean to push you too far, sweets.” He’s so perfect. How did you get him?
“No. I’m okay, it’s just that…well I don’t want you to leave me after you get what you want, Buck.” This is so unsexy; there is no way he is going to want to sleep with you now
“Look at me, sweets.” You look at him, “Good girl.” Fuck. “I want you. Not just your body. I want to take you out on dates and annoy all of our friends with how cute we look together. I want it all.” He’s looking into your eyes with such sincerity that it feels like you could break and all of your doubts leave your mind.
You grind your hips against his still hard cock, “Will you make love to me, Buck?” 
He groans lowly before gaining his composure again, “Are you sure, sweet girl? We don’t have to do anything, you know that?” But you want to, so bad.
“I know and I’m sure I want you.” He’s looking into your soul; he never wants to hurt you. “Please?” It’s the doe eyes that break him and he picks you up and carries you to his room like you weigh nothing.
“I’m gonna make love to you, sweet girl. If you want me to stop, just say the word, okay? But I promise it won’t change how I feel about you.” He is looking into the depths of your soul, making sure this is what you want; there is nothing you want more in this moment than Bucky finally loving you.
Instead of a verbal response, you wrap both your arms and legs around him so his whole body is on top of yours on his bed and you kiss him again. You are surrounded by everything Bucky; his room smells so good that you want to spend forever in it with him. 
Calloused palms slide up your back to meet the clasp on your bra and Bucky breaks the kiss, staring at your swollen lips before catching your eye, “Can I take this off, sweets?” Taking your bra off swiftly after he hears your breathly ‘yes,’ his hands find purchase on your ribs.
“Fuck,” his groan makes you attempt to close your legs to find some release, but his waist stops your legs from moving even an inch. “Your tits are absolutely gorgeous, you know that? God, sweets, do you feel how hard you make me? This is all for you.”
You arch your back, pushing your breasts further into his field of view, gasping when his right hand cups your breast, tweaking your nipple and rolling it between his thumb and forefinger. 
“Please, touch me, Buck!” You already sound cock drunk and he hasn’t even done anything to you, but you can’t find it in you to care. 
Cocking his head to the side and chuckling, he whispers in your ear, “I am touching you, sweets.” That son of a bitch! “Where do you want me to touch you, huh?”
You grab his unoccupied hand and lead it down to your pants but he doesn’t budge, refusing to touch your clothed pussy. “Touch you where, sweet girl? I need words or I can’t please you.” 
Cheeks heating up, you finally give up, just wanting him to touch you, pleasure you, anything. “My pussy, Bucky! Touch my pussy!”
“Atta girl. I knew you could do it.” How does he know all the right things to say?
He leaves a trail of kisses from your neck, to your chest, down your belly, until he reaches the hem of your leggings; looking up at you, waiting for your permission, “Take my pants off, please.”
Another wave of slick goes straight to your core when he whispers, “Such a good girl, using her words,” as he takes your pants off, leaving your panties on your core. Shit, I don’t think I’ve ever been this wet in my life.
Bucky’s thumb goes up and down over your pussy, slightly pushing down over your entrance, making your panties that much wetter, then sliding his thumb up to your clit. Your thighs unconsciously tighten around his head and hips jerk up when he does it again, and again, and again.
Breathy moans and gasps leave your lips before he gently pushes your thighs back with a small chuckle, and pushes your panties to the side, getting his first glance at the pussy he has been dreaming about. 
“Such a pretty pussy to match the prettiest girl in the world, don’t you think?” He doesn’t wait for a response this time, instead his mouth latches onto your clit and the moan that leaves his mouth is almost louder than your own. 
He can’t bring himself to pull away for a single moment, rather speaking into your pussy, sending vibrations throughout your entire core. A small huff leaves his lips when your thighs wrap around his head again; he’s going to make sure you stay put right where you are so he can keep licking your pussy until he is satisfied. He laces both of his hands with yours when you reach down toward him, because you need to be able to ground yourself.
So lost in your own pleasure, you almost don’t notice that Bucky is grinding against the bed, desperate for any type of friction, dick being the hardest that it has ever been. He’s sure that he could blow his load at any moment, but he wants this to be good for you, needs it to be good for you, so he is holding back with all his might, but fuck if he can’t stop moving his hips he won’t make it inside of you. And the sounds that are coming out of your mouth are making it almost impossible for him to do that.
Your thighs clamp around his head somehow even harder when you feel your orgasm approaching, effectively suffocating Bucky. He doesn’t care; he can breathe when you come on his tongue. You don’t even have time to announce that you’re going to cum before the strongest orgasm of your life rips through you. Bucky’s muffled moans are even more distant over the blood rushing through your ears, eyes finding purchase in the back of your head, you don’t know if you went silent because the orgasm knocked all the wind out of your, or if you are going to get a knock on the door from the police because they think you’ve been murdered.
When Bucky comes back up for air, the whole of his lower face is covered with your slick, and that gorgeous smirk is back on his face. “Thank you, sweet girl. That was amazing.” Did he cum, too? Please don’t tell me I missed seeing his face when he cums.
Seeing your dilemma, Bucky chuckles, “Don’t worry, sweets, my cock is still rock hard for you. Although, I did almost cum watching you. You have no idea how pretty you look when you cum.” You’re too fucked out to even be embarassed at how easily he can read you, or his knowledge of how much you want his cock.
While you're still coming down, Bucky finishes taking off your panties and the rest of his clothes. The moment he pulls his jeans and boxers down and his cock springs up, you gasp. You’ve never seen a prettier cock in all of your life: thick and long with a vein that you want to spend hours licking goes from base to tip, flush head partially covered by his foreskin, heavy and full balls that you know wouldn’t even be able to fit in your mouth rest at his base.
Your eyes never leave his cock as he climbs back into bed, salivating at the way it bobs as he walks and the precum dripping from his tip. “Can I suck your cock, Bucky, please?” Damn, you’ve never begged to suck a cock in your life.
Moaning at the way it twitches at your begging, you reach out for it but Bucky stops you.
“Next time, sweet girl, promise. I need to be inside of you right now and I won’t last if I let you do that, okay, sweets?” You whine in disappointment but nod nonetheless. You groan and wiggle your hips when he is finally on top of you again and you feel his cock slide up and down your pussy.
“Can I have it, Bucky? Can I have your cock?” Bucky looks like he is about to blow a fuse as he grips the base of his dick to stop himself from cumming.
“Sweet girl, you’re gonna have to stop saying things like that if you want this to last.” He is lining up with your entrance and you immediately shut your mouth. There will be another time to be a brat and tease him, but right now you need his dick.
“I’m ready, Bucky, I want it.” Your breath catches in your throat when his tip slides in, for all the staring you did a few minutes ago, you vastly underestimated how fucking big his dick was and now it feels like you’re being spilt in two - in the best way.
“Shit! Sweets, you’re so -fuck- you’re so tight. Choking my dick so good, baby fuck. Best pussy I’ve ever had and I’m only halfway in.” He’s mouthing at your neck while you're grabbing onto anything you can.
“Please, Bucky, more! Fuck, I want it.” You feel like you could cum again just at the sheer stretch of his cock inside of you, his deep groans spurring you on. 
As he bottoms out inside of you, you feel the heavy weight of his balls against your ass, twitching wildly as he tries to stave off his own orgasm. “Oh god, you’re so fucking warm. Fuck, feels like I’m gonna blow before I even move. Shit!” Bucky is so pussy drunk he can’t even think straight, but fuck if you don’t love it. 
“Please move, Bucky, please, I need you to fuck me, please!” You weren’t fairing much better, cock drunk out of your mind.
Bucky is scrambling against the sheets, trying to be closer to you somehow, as if having his impossibly thick length inside of you wasn’t enough, he wraps your legs around his waist as he starts to rut into you.
He is barely pulling out of you, not that you would let him go very far anyway with how tightly your legs are wrapped around him. “Pussy is so fucking good! I just wanna stay here forever, sweets. You want that to, fuck, huh? You want me to stay in this little pussy?”
Clawing at his back, you were a babbling mess, crying out for him, never having been in so much pleasure before. “Yes, Bucky, I want that so bad, yes.” Tears were welling up in your eyes from the sheer amount of pleasure that you were receiving from Bucky. 
Rutting into you faster, his hand slid between your bodies and thumb rubbing your clit in fast circles, Bucky’s calm demeanor was gone, now he was begging for you to cum with him.
“Come on, sweets. I need -fuck- I need you to cum for me. I need to feel your little pussy cum on my cock.” His balls were slapping against your ass, making a vulgar sound, as they were covered in your slick that had trailed out of your pussy.
“Can feel you clenching around me, pretty girl.”
“Need you to cum first, please.”
“Want you to soak my cock.”
“Be my good girl and cum.”
Maybe it was the good girl, but the second orgasm that tore through your body was even better than the first and the clenching of your pussy sent Bucky over the end, into his own orgasm.
“Fuck, sweet girl, I’m gonna cum for you. I got so much fucking cum and it’s all for you. Shit, I’m cumming!” You felt his cock twitch once, twice, and balls pull up before his cum was coating the inside of your pussy.
After you both came down from your highs, Bucky slowly pulled out, catching the wince that left you at the emptiness of your cunt. “Sweet girl, I’m going to get a cloth to clean you with and some water, but I’ll be right back, okay?” Bucky wanted to make sure that you knew that he was coming back, that he wasn’t like all of those other assholes who didn’t treat you right.
Your faint ‘okay’ was the green light for Bucky to dash to the bathroom to clean himself up, get a rag for you, and then head to the kitchen to get a glass of water for you. He paid special attention when wiping you clean, not wanting to overstimulate you after having multiple orgasms.
He helped you sip your water before covering you both up and holding you close to his chest. Never in your life had you felt so safe and loved than you did at this moment, wrapped up in Bucky’s arms, confident that he would stay with you even after having sex with you. 
“You know that I love you, right, sweet girl? And I’m not going anywhere.” He whispered into your hair.
“I do now. And I love you, too, Buck.”
After a little while, you raise yourself on his chest a little so you can look into his eyes, “Hey, Buck?”
“Yeah, sweets?” No one has ever looked at me with so much love.
“Does Sam actually have a crush on me?” Bucky throws his head back into the pillows with an exaggerated groan while you try to muffle your giggles. For once, you actually have what you’ve always wanted.
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mysicklove · 8 months
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cw: sub! gojo, heavy edging and then heavy overstimulation, hand job, crying, lots of crying and withering, gojo being cute bc i love him
wc: 1.1k
a/n: wrote this in like 30 mins. good for me. and techically by my standards this is a fic, not a drabble bc its more than 1k. wooooah
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"Make it stop!" Gojo yelps, throwing his head back against the headboard, heaving as sweat drips down his temple. His lower half was naked, and he was wearing just a simple white t-shirt, now slightly sticking to his chest from the heat.
You pull back your hand, admiring the globs of precum on it. You bring it to your mouth, kitten licking it and groaning. "You really need to eat better Satoru. Taste so bad."
"Please," He breathes, eyes lidded and watery. You take another glance at his groin, his cock weeping against his stomach. It's flushed red, dripping pathetically, but other than that, cute.
He has been just one stroke from reaching his high a total of five times now. His body has grown tired, slumped against the headboard, and twitching occasionally.
You watch his hand grab your wrists, and you raise your eyebrows, intrigued by the action. He doesn't say anything, aware of your gaze but choosing to ignore it as he cups your hand into a makeshift hole and brings it back to his cock.
You chuckle at him, letting him do what he wants for a moment. He bucks his hips up into it, eyes slightly rolling back from the feeling. It glides down without much trouble, his precum from earlier lubing his entire length, and making a lewd sort of squelching noise.
He doesn't say anything because he knows he's moments from cumming. In fact, he doesn't even make eyecontact with you, trying to almost sneak by.
It was cute, pathetic and stupid, but cute. You pull your hand away when you see his body begin to curl over.
His mouth hangs open in a broken gasp and his hands twitch. He buries them into the sheets before he gets the idea of trying to touch himself. "Y-Y'know I love you, but I fucking hate you right now," He murmurs, blue eyes peering into yours with a wobbly grin.
You laugh at him, not suprised, and ruffle his already messy hair affectionately. Then you maneuver yourself onto his lap, straddling him. He peers up at you, slightly confused, but you just hum, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. His dick twitches at the attention, and he pants into your mouth.
Your soft hand comes back down to his cock, stroking the head a couple of time, watching the way his whole body seems to jerk and the breathy gasp he lets out. Suddenly, your pace is merciless, jerking him quickly and with full force. His eyes widen and his back slightly arches, his fingers digging into the sheets as he tries to process the intense sensation.
"Oh fuck. I'm gonna cum. F-Fuck! I'm cumming, I'm cumming, dont stop please!" He pleads, throwing his head back with a high-pitched, almost feminine moan. He stays true to his word, cum shoots out onto your hand and his stomach. You watch as your lovers abdomen contracts, and the way his whole body trembles under the force of the orgasm. It was an intense one, probably due to how many times he was edged.
Your hands dont stop moving through it all, and his body begins to jerk with the stinging sensation of overstimulation. "'m done," he whispers, hand reaching over to pull yours away.
You slap him away, continuing at the same pace, and he turns to you with frantic eyes, processing the situation. "N-No. No. No. No! I cant!" He pleads, tears welling up in his eyes as the sensation gets more and more painful.
You kiss away the first tear with a soft smile. "Yes you can! Cmon Satoru, all you wanted earlier was to cum. You can do it again!" You tease, kissing his neck when he looks up to the ceiling and begins to cry.
His whole body withers under you, jerking sporatically to escape your hand, and he begins to laugh. Its a mix of a giggle and a cry, sort of like someone was tickling him. He always did this when you overstimulated him, and it was always so endearing to watch. "S-Stop. Hurts. Hah! Oh fuck!"
You are stuggling to stay on top of him, his hips moving from side to side are threatening to knock you over. But you ground your knees into the sheets and use both hands to jerk him off. Wet squelching noises fill the air, mixed with his cries and helpless laughs.
But through it all, you just admire him. His pretty body that twitches and tries to escape your hold, his wet eyes that make the light blue color even brighter, the tear stained cheeks that are the prettiest red color. Everything about him was so pretty.
"I'm going to cum. No. Oh god! Too much. It's too sensitive! Im cumming. Im cumming again!" He rambles, unable to think coherent thoughts. The words just come spewling out of him, his head spinning.
Cum oozes from the tip, more pathetically this time, and he orgasms with a sob. His whole body seems to curl into himself, withering and trying to make himself as small as possible. The top of his head accidentally knocks into your chin, and you laugh, while he cries into your chest.
Your hands jerk him through it all, and the second he feels you going even a second longer after his high was over, his nails dig into your back and he pleads, "No more. Please, I'm begging. No more."
You obey his command, and let go of his cock, watching it fall back onto his stomach. You reach to grab the washcloth, wiping your hands and his stomach off. "Well that was fun."
"Fun?" He screeches dramatically, pulling himself away from your chest and using the back of arm to wipe away the excess tears. "You almost killed me!"
He goes under the sheets, pulling the blankets up to his neck with a pout. "Little dramatic much?"
"I'm not talking to you for the rest of the day," He threatens, falling limp against the pillow and staring at the ceiling.
"Alright."
A couple of minutes go by, and you hum to yourself, preparing for sleep. You listen to the sounds of Gojo tossing and turning in bed, glancing at him with amusement.
He turns to you, and narrows his eyes at you. "Do you think I can cum three times in a row?"
You pick up the lube. "You wanna find out?"
His smile falls in an instant, and he is waving his hands in front of his face. "Nope. Actually goodnight. I love you, dearest!"
You bark a laugh, and set the lube down, crawling into bed next to him. "Yeah, yeah, love you too, you kinky bastard."
"Hey!"
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blackpilljesus · 1 month
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I saw this from the female separatism subreddit & the responses are some of the biggest reasons for separatism et al (or extinction if I'm being candid here). Moids cant be reformed they are fully aware of the hell they force women to live in. MaIe achievement & happiness is rooted in female exploitation & life. Their glory days are based on our horrific days. No amount of love, kindness or facts will change maIes and we cannot happily or even neutrally coexist with them.
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Main points across answers:
Many want to experiment but not permanently be women
They dont want to be in constant danger or lose their autonomy at the hands of maIes for merely existing
They dont want to deal with childbirth (& periods)
They dont want to have to share spaces with species much stronger than them with ulterior motives
It makes me go crazy seeing people give moids benefit of doubt for their evil like "maIes just dont understand", "we need to teach maIes", or claiming that maIe violence is a result of maIes struggling with (expressing) their feelings. I get that women love maIes and it can be hard to imagine that people can intentionally be so evil but it is what it is. MaIes have no problems expressing themselves, abusing women is what maIes choose to do because they enjoy & benefit from it - that is their expression.
MaIes see the same news of women being abused, raped, and killed like we do except rather than be disheartened or alarmed they're either apathetic or satisfied. It isn't aliens that's committing GBV it's maIes & maIes have no problem reminding women of this when women anger them (such as rape threats & threatening women they'll end up on the news/true crime). The victim blaming, denial, and derailment of misogyny is part of the game to keep the system alive, they know the events occured & are a systemic occurence they just dont care. Hell not only do they not care, they rejoice in it or get off on it.
MaIes set up environments that work in their favour which simultaneously ensures that women will lose. They know women are set up to live in damn near impossible conditions for us. It's normalised for women to defenselessly share personal & private spaces with beings much more stronger than them with ulterior motives for us, it's trap. It's interesting how these moids aren't saying that they'll just cover up and *poof* harrassment gone, or they'll just pick a nice guy & they'll be okay. MaIes know the net negative they are towards women.
MaIes know that childbirth is a painful process & what do they do? Demand it happens and make it even MORE painful for women. MaIes that impregnate women do not love or care for them. Pregnancy itself is dangerous & sometimes lethal, often comes with a range of health issues, to cause someone to be in that condition especially in a environment where abortions are illegal is reckless & unloving. Now imagine how sinister & full of hatred one has to be to impregnate someone and abuse them on top of that. Many women risk their health & lives to reproduce with a Y and they get abused by said Y instead of being taken care of. Deranged.
Realising that maIes are aware of the evil they inflict is one of the things that radicalised me. It isn't a miscommunication or ignorance issue, their violence is intended. They want control. The cruelty is the point. Instead of wasting time & energy trying to change maIes or hope that they "understand" one day, focus on yourself & other women (who prioritise women). Moids aren't oblivious to female pain they enjoy it. A lot of women treat maIe evil like it's a mistake on maIes part but it's calculated terrorism. I know that this will go over many womens heads as they refuse to hold strong negative sentiments about moids as a collective so if you're not a woman like that, take this post as a sanity check. You aren't crazy, it isn't all in your head.
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etherealkissed88 · 6 months
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the reason why circumstances seem so annoying is because 1. your adding meaning to them 2. you are aware of them.
1. adding meaning to circumstances:
you dont realize that all “circumstances” and everything in the 3d, even the 3d itself, is neutral and literally doesnt come with any original meaning. meaning only comes when ego judges what the senses view. think about it: its all about perspective; two people both get 80% on their test. person A doesnt care because she decides its a neutral grade while person B freaks out because she thinks an 80% means she isnt smart enough since she believes she should have gotten a 100%. so person B cares and adds meaning to the score and even adds meaning to herself: “im not smart enough” “i should have studied harder” “i knew i was going to do bad”. person A doesnt add any meaning to it because she simply doesnt care, therefore she doesnt change her identity like person B did. person B still knows who she is and isnt letting a circumstance change her identity. when adding meaning to neutral circumstances, ofc you will feel annoying and you could feel like things are out of control because you are giving up your power to something that originally has no power.
2. being aware of circumstances:
ofc some circumstances can be right in your face and its something you cant ignore. but constantly being aware of them to the point where you start to believe them as true is what not to do. remember that life is a game and remember that you can instantly change circumstances. why do people manifest wealth in the most shitty circumstances for example, manifesting wealth while being homeless and neville goddard manifesting he was back home while being drafted in the war. circumstances never matter. you continuously accepting them as true is a no-no. when a circumstance hits you, realize it only exists because you are currently aware of it. things only exist when you become aware of them. you are aware of the your device you have right now but when you are sleeping and dreaming, this device doesnt exist because you arent aware of it anymore. circumstances are so temporary. the only thing giving them power is you and your fear of failure. if you keep being aware of something you dont want, ofc it will be annoying and it will seem like your stuck with it forever. thats a lie. circumstances are so easy to get over once you realize all of this is under your complete power of imagination and all you have to do is be aware of having what you want in imagination, instead of being aware and dwelling on circumstances.
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privitivium · 25 days
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!! I really jealousy fics like goddamned!!! Pathetic head over heels yandere so jealous but can't do anything bcs you're fully in control over him sgmdgdmdv)msb
"pathetic", jealous yandere male x male reader. rambles.
yan who gets quiet when hes jealous n says hes fine when you ask but then when you brush it off he immediately folds hrnn. JELAOUS YANDERE FTW !!-!!'^#!!!!!^#!^$
both amab, cw for. murderous thoughrs... perverted thoughts. Nsfw. Jerkin off. a girl flirts witj you very briefly
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head over heels,,,,, yandere,,, acting all cuddly n shit..,,, hnngh. boyfriends. willing reader. who's aware of how freaky and awful his little boyfriend truly is,,, and accepts him !!! truly, head over heels over you. its kinda nice having ur own lil personal stalker who you can come home to, i dunno,,,
and - now, he's holding onto your arm; unbeknownst to you, glaring stoically at the assailant who made you laugh n making them quiver - but ultimately ignoring him and focusing on you... minutes later when you finally take notice of his odd silence,,
"babe... whats wrong??" asking him all innocent n curious and he squirms, fidgeting at your side. staring blankly up at you,,, n he cant do anything about it... cant follow her. Cant. Murder. hes hopeless, holding onto your bicep and nuzzling into your shoulder. he hated when he saw other couples publically display their affection, but now that hes yours and youre his, he feels so free. but still. That disgusting feeling of his heart squeezing and his gut twisting in jealousy,,, poor little man.
now you gotta drive somewhere away from prying eyes n scoot ur chair all the way back n hug him from behind and jerk him off......... a true gentleman making it up to his lover by paying close attention on the way his thighs tremble, his back arches, the way his ass grinds into ur groin while squirming n mewling while he orgasms,,,, yeah
ㅡanother scenario,,, hrnrnn ur hanging out with someone without him, without his knowledge ( horrible mistake on ur part ) and he fucking shows up. of course he would... going somewhere without him, without even telling him? its obvious hes v upset :(
"babe what are you doing here?? haha!!" and you act cordially,,, not surprised, acting nicely.
immediayely introducing him to ur best friend and letting him sit in on the conversation. ur lil yandere bf sitting by your side, your arm wrapped around his waist, and all he can think of is bouncing on ur cock in front of everyone while you have him in a headlock from behind with everyones' mouths gaping and touching themselves watching you in this little comfy restaurant,,, but he has to sit there compliantly by ur side while you do the talking with ur little friend,,, glaring murderously. isnt he being sooo good? that obviously deserves a reward, right????? babe?????????? hes not whispering dirty things in ur ear or even texting you dirty things or even TOCUHING YOU INAPPROPRIATELY. yeah he does deserve a reward doesnt he,,,
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See the thing is nothing kills my attraction to a man faster than seeing him with a woman. Or a man if its Framed Wrong, and it frequently is, because girl I have problems you ain’t ever seen. Which is all to day I’m well aware this is no ones issue but my own but goodbye Dream of the Endless it was nice having you hang around in here for a while </3
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norrizzandpia · 8 months
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Used (LN4)
Summary: A bet can do more harm than good.
Warnings: i dont think ive ever wrote something this angsty, its very sad so be warned, lando is a back stabbing bitch but hes stupidly in love, literally stupidly, insecurities, loss of virginity, major betrayal, sad ending but there will be a part 2 bc as we all know i cant do sad endings
Note: im very sorry for this one
Word count: somewhere in the 4k’s
When Oscar got into F1, Y/n promised herself she wouldn’t follow her brother around the paddock like a lost puppy. With cameras all around and prying eyes, she wanted to come across as independent and strong rather than pathetic and small. For a while, that translated, but it got lonely after a few months. Missing her brother as he was busy doing interviews or creating connections, and losing her parents in the mass of people, she always found herself alone. That was until Lando fully came into the picture. He hadn’t wanted to overstep boundaries with his teammate by befriending his sister, but the boy couldn’t resist when he continued to catch glimpses of her struggle to fit in. She was too young to hang out with any of the racers’ girlfriends, yet too old to hang out with the children of powerful people. She was only 19, still figuring out what life was, why she was here, and what she was meant to do. So, overcoming his own anxieties, Lando approached the girl on a rainy Sunday when the race had been postponed because of the wet weather.
“Can I sit here?” He had said, smiling lightly at her as her head slowly moved up to make eye contact with the popular driver.
She had moved over on the bench, nodding quickly as if she was afraid any time in which he had to wait would set him off.
At first, things were awkward with Lando not knowing anything about her and Y/n being too shy to form any words in front of the boy she thought was cute. Nonetheless, after 20 minutes, words were spoken, and conversing became second nature.
Gradually, Lando felt Y/n warm up to him as she realized the driver was someone she found solace in.
Her first friend in Formula One.
Everyone in the paddock began to take note of the budding friendship quickly evolving between the sister and the driver. While people were happy to see a new connection growing, Oscar was weary. It was no secret Lando had a track record of sleeping around, pretending to be close to women for only one night in order to get what he wanted. The women in question always understood the pattern and never found offense or distaste with it, but Y/n wasn’t that mature, Oscar knew. His sister was still naive and her lack of attention toward media outlets played into her lack of luck as she didn’t realize Lando could be around for all the wrong reasons. Oscar did, though, and he made it incredibly clear to the British boy that any impure advances on his sister were not, and never would be, welcomed.
“You pull any weird shit and I’ll have your head.” He said sternly to Lando in a tone that no one had ever heard come out of the Australian before.
“I’m not going to, Oscar. I’m sorry if this makes you uncomfortable, but we’ve realized we just have so much in common. There’s nothing else behind it, I promise. I just like your sister’s company. That’s it.” He reassured.
And, for a while, that was true. Lando saw nothing else behind their friendship, however, that soon began to change. He noted the way he became so comfortable being touchy with her or giving her impromptu compliments about how pretty she looked that day. Being experienced in that realm of life, Lando also noted the way her cheeks blushed ever so slightly under his eye, and he couldn’t ignore the way his insides twisted at her subtle happiness over him.
They danced around each other and their feelings for some time until a drunken night changed everything. Lando had invited his friends from DJing over, one of those people being Martin Garrix. The men had laid themselves out on Lando’s luxurious couch with beers in hand, chugging away as they gossiped like 13-year-old girls.
The conversation came easily with these people as Martin interrupted and changed the topic to something a bit more interesting, “Lando, I gotta ask. What’s going on with you and Oscar’s sister?”
At this point in their relationship, Lando was still in the stage of denying any deeper feelings for her, “Nothing? What do you mean?”
Martin shook his head as the boys around him knowingly eyed each other, “Come on, you two are definitely sleeping together.”
“No, we aren’t.” He said immediately, not understanding why he had become so invested in protecting Y/n’s image.
Martin’s eyebrows furrowed, “So, you two aren’t sneaking around behind the brother’s back?”
“No,” Lando said firmly, but his defiance on the subject proved to worsen his situation as Martin set his beer down and looked at him with a mischievous look.
“Then, I have a proposition for you.” His arms rested on his knees as he leaned forward.
“What?” Lando mirrored his stance.
“Obviously, you know I have that really big gig next year at The Cabin in New York.” Lando nodded, “Well, if you can get Y/n to fall in love with you, maybe even sleep with her, I don’t know, then you can play it. Play the set at The Cabin.” Martin’s idea made Lando’s eyes bulge out of his head and his body leap from the couch.
The alcohol in his system proved to do its job by impairing his judgment as he didn’t ask questions or try to understand why Martin would get off on playing with someone in that way. All the boy did was scream his agreeance and then excitement for playing at The Cabin in New York.
“YOU ASKED MY SISTER OUT!?” Oscar had screamed in fury at Lando 2 days later.
Putting his hands up, Lando tried to talk down an aggravated teammate, “Listen, Oscar. Listen,” He pleaded, “I didn’t see it coming, really. But, I…” The words felt sour in his mouth as the guilt for what he was about to embark on set in, “I didn’t expect to fall for her, okay? I just did and I hope you’ll trust me enough that I’m not going to play her like I do the others. I wouldn’t hurt you like that and I especially wouldn’t hurt her like that.”
His words seemed to calm the blonde boy as he looked Lando in the eye, trying to decipher if he was being truthful. And, even though he wasn’t, Oscar found Lando’s spewed sentences to be genuine.
“Fine, but, I’m serious, Lando,” Oscar shoved a finger into Lando’s chest, “if you pull anything, I won’t hesitate to find crazy dirt on you and blackmail McLaren into firing you. Trust me, I’m smart enough to ruin your whole career.”
His threats went in Lando’s right ear and out the other because he found his British accent flooding the room they stood in as he said, “I promise, nothing will happen.”
“Is there any specific you want for tonight, my love?” Lando whispered against her skin as they lay in his bed, tangled together after a busy morning of meetings and conversations discussing their announcement of their relationship to the public with McLaren’s PR teams.
She breathed against the crook of his neck as she toyed with his shirt, “No, just excited to go out with you.”
He chuckled as he breathed the scent of her shampoo in, “Me too, baby.”
After nearly 3 months, the couple had fallen easily into the norms of a romantic relationship. Having not yet slept together or fully opened up and shown the other dark parts of themselves, they had a long way to go, but, at that moment, the two were content.
Content with having casual dates, hidden under baseball caps and sunglasses to keep from someone seeing them and outing their newfound connection. Content with the star gazing they had scheduled a few weeks back for that night, fulfilling something Y/n had mentioned she wanted to try.
They found themselves lost in the sky, weeds surrounding them as they lay side by side on a thin blanket to separate them from the rough grass beneath. In a quiet moment with Y/n’s fingers pointing out constellations to him, Lando sunk into himself.
His past few months with her had proven to be a lot more interesting than he had expected. Pretending to be in love with her started to feel less like a forced feeling and more like something he had been destined to feel for her and her only his whole life. The guilt ate away at him, but the love that was slowly consuming him for her trumped it every time.
“Lan? You still here?” Her sweet voice cut through his thoughts, making his head turn to meet her eyes.
He smiled at her, “Yeah, sorry, just lost track of my thoughts, I think.”
Her hand trailed up and down his stomach, “You okay?”
“Mhm, just don’t want to leave.” He nodded, looking at her so she could understand that he didn’t just want to leave this moment, he didn’t want to leave her.
She cracked a small smile, “Oh, me neither.”
A beat of silence went by before she sat up and turned to look down at him, “When did you realize you wanted more than just a friendship between us?”
This question was something he was anticipating and absolutely dreaded because, if he were to tell the truth, he would have to tell her she was a bet with his friends and that was the only reason he had been pushed to confront his underlying feelings for her. Although, wanting his gig, Lando tried to tell a white lie.
“I don’t really know when it happened. I just know that one day I really liked talking with you and the next I just liked you.” Simple and sweet, he thought. That was the trick to getting away with this.
Her blush complicated things and the butterflies in his stomach over her smile laid out the strong counterargument to his mind.
“Hm.” She said as she lowered herself back to the ground.
Lando’s curiosity took over as he asked what she meant by the ominous sound.
“Just that, I didn’t expect you to like me. I mean, you’re past is a lot of picture-perfect models and well-rounded, intellectual, impressive women. Not a 19-year-old kid whose major is undecided as she enters into her second year of college.” Her words struck a deep cord within his chest that he couldn’t not play.
“Is that all you think you are?” He was complicating the situation further, he understood that, but to think Y/n didn’t understand how amazing she was was something he couldn’t ignore.
She shrugged her shoulders, “Well, Lan, what else would I be?”
He was internally shocked at her obliviousness to her own perfection, “‘What else would I be?’ Y/n, what? You’re not just some lost college kid. You’re Oscar’s best friend and the person I would call first no matter what the situation. You’re so much to everyone around you. How can you not see that?”
Her voice came out trembly as she stared at the stars, “It’s hard when your brother’s constantly outshined you your whole life. My parents never realized they had another kid when I was growing up. It was all about Oscar and his races, his success. I never lived up to anything to actually make them notice me.”
His heart broke for the hurt little girl she was clearly entrusting him with, “Y/n, look at me.” His hands wrapped around her jaw to turn her head to the side, their eyes meeting in an intense stare, “Oscar could never outshine you and the fact that you’ve gone your whole life thinking anyone, let alone your brother, has the ability to take other’s attention from you is preposterous. You are the first thing that catches people’s eye when they walk into a room. You’re intoxicating with the way you carry yourself. You’re not just a confused child, you’re you. You are your best friend’s safe space, Oscar’s go-to person to brag about, you’re my favorite person, and, even though you might not think so, your parent’s pride and joy. You’re so many things, darling. Just because you aren’t an F1 driver doesn’t mean you don’t mean something. If it means anything, to me, you mean everything.”
His forehead rested against hers as he whispered the words to her, her eyes closed against his skin as she took in what she had longed to hear since she was 7. Lando’s thumbs rested against her cheeks, collecting the soft tears as they fell from her eyes.
“Sorry,” She whispered as she tried to back away from his hold, apologizing for the wetness that was pooling around his fingers.
However, Lando was quick to pull her back in, “No, don’t apologize. Letting me in isn’t something I’m afraid of, Y/n. It’s something I’m grateful to experience.”
She nodded, at a loss for words as she reveled in his gentleness. His hold on her tightened as he pushed her against his chest, whispering words into her ear.
Words that spoke truths he believed deep within himself and words that complexified the bet he had made.
“So, tell us what’s going on with you and the hotshot driver!” Y/n’s best friend, Paige, exclaimed at breakfast weeks after Lando and she had gone public.
Y/n rolled her eyes playfully, “Nothing! We’re just together. It’s not that serious.”
Paige reeled back in her seat, sending her a questionable look, “Really? ‘Not that serious’? Are you kidding me? He took your virginity!”
“Shh!!! Shh!!” Y/n jabbed a finger in her friend's face in response to the loud volume accompanied by the exposition of her situation.
“Sorry!” Paige squeaked, looking around to make sure no one had heard her, thankfully no one had. She continued, “Does he know?”
“That it was my first time? Yeah.” Y/n informed as Paige smiled triumphantly at the girl across from her.
“So, was he sweet? Did you like it?” Paige fired off the questions.
Y/n blushed, being taken back to the night before where Lando had assured her he would be gentle.
He had.
“Yes, he was very sweet. We got back from the date and decided to watch a movie. During it, we started kissing and then, you know, one thing led to another, and…”
“You told him.” Paige finished her sentence.
Y/n waved her head slowly to the left and right, “Well, it started getting intense, so I just let him know. I tried to be pretty nonchalant about it, come off like it wasn’t that big of a deal, but the moment he heard it, he was telling me how much he cared about it.”
Paige’s eyebrows furrowed, “What do you mean?”
“He just wanted to talk about it, wanted to make sure I wasn’t rushing into anything and that I actually wanted to do this with him. He told me how he didn’t want to screw anything up and how he really wanted it to go well for me, so if I needed him to change anything, I could just let him know. He was really big on communication through the whole thing and, honestly, it made things so much easier. And, then, after we were done, I got up to leave, but he acted like I had just said he wouldn’t ever win a world championship, and then insisted on me staying. Paige, he was so perfect.”
The two girls giggled together as they dug into their food, “So, you’ve let him in completely then?”
Y/n giggled, not having a clue of what was to come, “After he saw me completely naked and I told him about my deepest insecurities? Yeah, I have. I just hope this doesn’t backfire in my face.”
Lando was Y/n’s first love. There was no doubt about that. So, surprising him at the Silverstone Grand Prix sounded like a good idea. However, as she and Oscar stood outside his Driver’s Room door, accidentally eavesdropping on his conversation with Martin, the world proved to her that being there entirely was a horrible idea.
“Mate, I think it's gone too far. I want to back out of the bet.” Lando’s muffled voice sounded through the wall as Oscar and Y/n glanced at each other, matching confusion on their faces.
“No way, Lando. We made a deal. I don’t want to do this gig, I’ve done it so many times before it’s boring now, but for someone like you who has never done it, it’ll be fun.” Martin pleaded.
Y/n could practically hear Lando shake his head, “No, Martin. We should’ve never made it in the first place. I don’t want to play at The Cabin. Dating her for a bet is so cruel. I should’ve stopped it so long ago. I should’ve told you ‘no’ immediately.”
She didn’t even really comprehend what his words meant for a few minutes. She just stood there, eyes fixed on the door, trying desperately to figure out a way to explain away what he had just revealed.
Oscar’s hand gripped her arm as he watched her realize Lando’s true intent. His lip trembled, trying to keep the tears at bay, as his little sister broke in front of him. Her mouth opened and closed before her eyes watered and her gaze was shooting around the hallway in an attempt to find her brother. The fact that he was right in front of her didn’t translate in her brain, which had been in immediate turmoil once it dawned on her.
“Y/n, I’m right here.” He repeated to her as he slowly coaxed her into his embrace. Blind rage threatened to fill Oscar’s body, wanting nothing more than to storm into Lando’s room and rip him to shreds, but, as his sister quietly sobbed in his arms, he knew she needed him more than his fist needed to collide with Lando’s face.
Fortunately, his room wasn’t too far, so they weren’t seen by anyone as they made their way. The tears never ceased, only intensifying once they found themselves tucked away in the privateness of his own four walls.
“I was a bet?” Her choked sobs fought to silence her, but she continued to repeat the words as if it could cause her confusion to be fixed.
She clutched onto her older brother as she willed herself to go back in time and never step foot in an F1 paddock. Her mind raced as it tried to erase their time together and the love she had for him, the love she still had for him.
Hours after crying so much the tears dried up, Y/n found herself numb as she poured steeped the tea bag into the steaming hot water. No longer caring if she ran into him, she stood in the middle of McLaren’s hospitality, still trying to understand when she went wrong.
When she started loving him in the way that she did now. Even after finding out it was fake, his love for her was fake, she can’t stop the way her heart still beats for him.
The way, even after he had hurt her as badly as he did, she still searched for him in the crowd.
Oscar was off doing an interview, something he begrudgingly went off as he wanted to sit with his sister longer, as she made her walk back to his resting room.
Her attention was on the warm temperature that surrounded her face when she sipped her drink, she didn’t see the man of the hour turn the corner nor did she see the way his gaze landed on her or the way he began running toward her, confused as to why she was here.
“Y/n? Love, what are you doing here? I thought you had a test you couldn’t skip?” His voice forced feelings into her body whether she liked it or not. However, this time instead of feeling suffocating sadness, she felt pure, bewildered rage.
Turning around, she met his eyes, “What set do you think you’ll play at The Cabin?”
Lando’s eyebrows furrowed together at her question as well as the look on her face he wasn’t accustomed to.
“What?” He asked simply, not believing she could know.
She took a step closer to him, letting the betrayal take control, “When you play in New York at The Cabin, Lan,” Her smile was sickly and incredibly fake, “What are you going to play? I was thinking that one remix you have that you said makes the crowd go wild. I mean, it has to be big seeing as you went through so much trouble to get the spot. Ya know, dating me for a bet and all.” She took his silence and blank stare as an invitation to keep going, “Inspiring, really, Lando. The amount of dedication you must have when it comes to being a DJ that you would exploit someone else’s vulnerability, allow them to tell you all the internalized bullshit they’ve struggled with their whole lives, and, then!” She exclaimed, her voice translating ferocity rather than joy, “And then!” She dryly laughed, “Take their virginity just to spice things up! Wow, Lando, you have a certain level of determinedness I think society doesn’t address enough.”
His hand reached out for hers, but she quickly pulled her own back to her chest, looking at him in disgust, “Y/n, let me explain.”
Not wanting to look at his face any longer, she turned around, hightailing it to Oscar’s as she heard Lando follow her.
“Y/n, I’m serious. Please, there’s an explanation. Listen to me, baby. Please, I’m begging you.” He pleaded with her as he continued to reach for her, but he was always just a little too late.
“Y/n, I never meant for it to go this far. I though-” He tried, but Y/n was whirling around and jabbing a finger into his chest as she interrupted him with a fiery gaze.
“You never meant for it to go this far? Really? That’s the best you can give me!? I was lonely and you took advantage of that! You didn’t mean for it to go this far? Are you kidding me? You should’ve never even looked in my direction. You’re sick in the head for knowingly taking my virginity! For taking what was supposed to be something special and eventful, something meaningful, and twisting it into some stepping stone all a part of your grand plan to gain a bigger audience for your hobby! That was mine. That moment, when I allowed a guy I trusted and loved to take something so sacred, was supposed to be something I looked fondly back on. That part of my life, my girlhood, you exploited for your own personal gain. Where the hell do you get off? I trusted you. I told you things about my life, about myself, I’ve never told anyone before, and, what? The whole time it was a bet to you? A task you had to complete in order to turn some tables at a club in a dirty city?”
He stared at her, trying to peer into her soul and tell her all the things he didn’t know how to say, but, with all the hurt he had presented her with, she didn’t see him. She didn’t see the anguish he was going through over his actions catching up with him and abusing someone who was completely innocent. She didn’t see how hard he was trying to tell her he loved her and he always had.
“Y/n, it was never that to me. Please, you have to understand. You’ve always been so much more to me. Y/n, I love you-” Once again, she was shutting him up.
“That’s not love, Lando, and it’s pathetic you think it is.”
With that, she stepped into her brother’s room, closed the door, and locked it. Effectively, shutting Lando out.
For good or for the time being, he didn’t know.
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crearuru · 2 years
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My inability to remember what i did or did not do or say and instead having to piece it together retroactively is really not doing me any favors rn. Need to sleep so bad but haunted by my disability and mental difficulties
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kayseed · 2 years
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stuff in tags read if u want if u see. cannot stop you im just having a bad night and wanted to put a warning
#it is getting really bad tonight.#i would be lying if i said ive been doing alright for a while i just... havent brought it to light. ignored it#i just feel so... pathetic.#college failee#stuck in some fuckshit town#with no hope. job makes me sewer slidal ever time i have to wake up and go#and i cant even fix *that.*#constantly Constantly feeling like i am just on the BRINK of every single thing falling apart around me thinking for 20 or 30 minutes on#what to say to something. and just always always always believing it is the worst most damaging thing i couldve said.#that i am one wrong word from every thing and person i love and have loved just disspearing from my life again.#and outside of that. just being so hopeless. i will never get out of this state letalone town#i will never ever in my life feel the embrace of true unabashed love in any way it make come#i will never get a moment to just be happy about it all. that SOMETHING is looming over me to remember that#you know. this could all go horribly!-isms#and i can never ever ever talk to people about anything derectly. whats the point? itll weird them out. or make them sad. or distant#or angry or scared of me or something and i will be back at step one again in my life#alone and scared.#that i am some freak who thinks these things constantly never ever out of my head if even just a little bit#so DELUSIONAL always hearing and seeing this situations always always ALWAYS playing out and praying to some god i know would smite me#and oh but i have a good day one good day out of a year and i i smile and laugh and be happy and remember just always thinking#this is the last one i will EVER have. with people i love.#every time. and it makes me so sad. and so scares#and i just dont know what to do.#i just dont.#that i am just some villain. horrible person for thinking these things. that i deserve these things#because of some thing i mightve said or did wrong#and i just want to say sorry. a million times over#i am so so so sorry. to something or some one#i just am tired of feeling like this.#writing this through tears caused by myself wanting to just cry myself to sleep so i can fucking go back to work in 12 hours
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opalopera · 1 month
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If it's okay w you uhhhh top stepson please LOVE YOUR WORK KEEP IT UP KING!!
- 🌋
sure !!! thank yoou<<!<!!!! tw;; stepcest, noncon; he takes advantage of you while ur drunk, mean step-son, step-dad bttm male reader, minors, ageless blogs dni!
you didnt know why he didnt like you... well, that was a lie, actually - you knew very well why he didnt like you. some new guy coming in, dating his wealthy mother - of course his first thought is that you were only in it for the money, yeah? of course that was true, but you've also grown to care for her a little... she was sweet, polite... still, you didnt kiss as much as any newly dating couples should. he wasnt going to ever refer to you as his dad - you felt that he would never like you. but his mother made sure to cheer you up, gently cooing on how her son was just a tough nut to crack - you'll be friends in no time... of course that was a fucking lie. trying so hard to invite him out with you, picking him up from work and trying to get him to talk to you - but seriously, you cant rush these things... so you slow it down. letting him come to you. but ur just so impatient !!!
jeez little do you know ur new stepson has been jerking it to ur fucking boxers... rifling through all ur stuff when ur gone, evilly planting a pair of underwear with his own cum in your drawer. something that would make you grossed out, right...?
and. with mother gone... on a two day work trip, he decides to really let you have it. after his mother entrusted you, surprisingly, to look after the house rather than her own son... and you take it upon yourself to hangout all by your lonesome - drinking in the back patio. genuinely, not thinking that he would ever come out of his room, moreso that he would sneak out or something of the sort - until he was right there next to you on the bench, reaching for a beer and placing it to his lips wordlesslyㅡ
"no... you arent twenty-one yet. you're only nineteen..." you take away the bottle from his hands, uncaring if he dislikes you even more. proceeding to drink it yourself... lips where his lips have been... youre only proving to be a fucking freak as he thought... he merely chuckles, dryly. leaning back and watching you drink disgusting beer after beer - watching in delight as you continue to make a mess of yourself. glaring at you, so full of yourself just because youre with his mother now? youre fucking disgusting... ur stepson is such a hypocrite.
"you're really gross, you know that?" he grumbles, leaning back and discreetly palming his soft cock.
ㅡ"... sorry." oh, dont make him feel bad... this was all on you! youre a perverted freak !! you huff softly, wiping your chin - the acess of beer n drool dribbling down your chin. this is the fucking guy his mom is dating now? even remarrying? he still thinks ur fucking awful - all in it for the money... but he couldnt exactly stop himself from scooting closer. placing all the empty bottles on the ground to make room... "look at you... seriously, youre fucking weird..." he grumbles, wrapping his arms loosely around your waist and shifting off the cushioned bench to lay you flat on your stomach. ignoring your soft grumbles of what are you doooing?
wasnt long before he was slipping down your pants and pawing at your ass... n circling his fingers around your hole before fingering you,,,. with the help of his trusty lil bottle of lube for such scenarios... "yeaah there you go. Haha.. barely even squirming away - like it, huh??"
ㅡhe obviously felt big-headed, taking advantage of a much older man such as you... drooling and whimpering - instinctively spreading your legs and jutting your hips upward into him - "hup,, here we go... yeah, finally right? finally feel your stepsons cock inside you, haha..." inching forward and his cockhead slipping passed your puckered ring of muscle much to your mild chagrin...
grinning to himself and nearly cumming on the spot before he was helping you up and keeping his dick inside you... arms wrapped firmly around your waist and finally relaxing on the back patio - no light besides the ones inside creating an orange hue ,,,
pre... dribbling from the tip of your cock and he feels it. of course he does - hand wrapped around your cock and stroking so diligently while fucking upward into you - it was a sweaty position, but one he could handle... being so strong after all... "gross, dad." he calls youㅡurk-! "oh, you liked that... my stepdad sure is a fucking freak, huh?" making sure to call you out on tightening on his cock that was filling you up completely... yeah you've experimented - with toys -! not a whole ass fucking dude - who was ur literal stepson ...!!!
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azrielsdove · 4 months
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Ive really been loving all that you post. I've had this idea rattling in my head. It's a Azriel x best friend Reader. Where their friendship has mostly been platonic. Azriel and Elain were an item before she eventually left him for lucien, causing Azriel to spiral outta control. Azriels getting blackout drunk like every night, crying his eyes out saying how much he loved Elain, getting into fights hes just a mess and although readers there helping him shes fucking hurt that her friends suffering. I picture reader coming to help Azriel again one night dressed really nice and drop dead gorgeous, shes getting him into bed or whatever and hes just staring at her, like really looking at her. The bond snaps for him that instant and hes taking her in and asks her why are u wearing a gown? And she tells him she was on a date with Eris but ended it early to come help him. Breaks his fucking heart that shes dating someone (Especially Eris) but he then realizes shes always been there by his side. I imagine her not knowing about the bond or ignoring it cuz she just can't be Azriels 2nd choice ( but also cant hurt him) when shes been there the whole time and she feels she deserves someone who actually loves her not just cuz the mother said they should be together. Angst with maybe open ending? Or sad ending idk. Lol. Happy ending? I cant chooose. Lol.
Dearest Friend: Azriel x Reader
Warnings: Angst, Alcohol, Brief Mentions of Violence
***
You sighed deeply, knowing it was going to be another long night with your dearest friend. You hated that Azriel was hurting, but you were growing tired of the constant drinking and fighting. You dragged the large male out of the alley you found him in, calling out to Rhys to send someone to check on whoever he had been pummeling to a pulp when you found him.
“M’fine,” Azriel grumbled, pushing himself off of you to stumble down the road.
“I know you are. I am just helping,” you explained, used to the difficult task of getting him home. You brought him to the townhouse, as he was in no state to fly the two of you up to the House if Wind. He got angry when he was here, remembering the early stages of his feelings for Elain.
“I want to go home,” he protested, stopping in the doorway. You grabbed his hands and pulled him gently inside, shutting the door behind him.
“We can go home tomorrow, Az. Tonight we are going to stay here, closer to the ground.” He mumbled under his breath something about hating you and this place, but you just rolled your eyes and continued pulling him up to the room he typically stayed in.
You felt an air of sadness wash over you, looking to see Azriel staring at a door near the end of the hall. You knew that was Elain’s old room, before she moved to the River House with Rhys and Feyre. You reached up and placed a hand on his face, prompting him to look at you. “She’s not here,” you soothed, heart breaking at the anguish in his eyes. He nodded, head leaning into the touch of your hand. “Come on.”
You brought him into his room, sliding off his dirty clothes. He didn’t fight you as you slid warm, clean sleepwear onto him, the anger exhausted for the night. You pulled the blankets over him and tucked him in, pressing a light kiss to his forehead. “Get some sleep, Az.”
His hand on your arm stopped you, the pleading look in his eyes already telling you what he wanted. “Stay,” he whispered, pulling you down next to him. You took in a deep breath before sliding under the blankets with him, allowing him to hold you close. You had been sleeping like this a lot lately, your back pressed tight to his chest while he held you like you were his lifeline.
You wish he knew how true that was.
You had learned the shove the pull of the mating bond down long ago, realizing that Azriel would likely never feel it. The two of you had been friends for a few hundred years, and he had never made any inclination that he knew in all that time.
He pushed closer to you, burying his face in your hair. “Why wasn’t I enough for her?” Your heart broke just a little more, understanding the feeling all too well. You ran your fingers over his hands, shushing him.
“Enough of that, Az. She has a mate, that wasn’t a bond you could fight with. It has nothing to do with you.” You felt like you had said the same things over and over, constantly reassuring your friend that he did nothing wrong. Elain had tried to fight the bond with Lucien, making her own choice to go after Azriel. Unfortunately, the Mother creates bonds for a reason and even Azriel wasn’t enough to keep her from her mate.
Your countless failed relationships proved that as well.
“I wish she had been my mate,” he mumbled, sleep beginning to take over. You ignored the pain in your chest at his words, knowing he had no idea his mate was here in his arms. His mate he had no interest in.
“Go to sleep, Az.”
***
You smiled at the male across from you, raising your glass to your lips. With the now-accepted mating bond between Lucien and Elain, along with a growing alliance with the Autumn Court, Eris had taken to visiting Velaris often. You had arrived at the River House to ask about the male Azriel had attacked a few nights prior, not knowing he was there. You couldn’t deny the slight uptick of your heart whenever you saw him.
He had asked you to accompany him out to dinner that night, an invitation you gladly accepted. For the first time the attention of another male overrode the underlying pull of the mating bond. You had rushed off to get ready, forgetting the reason you even went over there.
Perhaps it was foolish, agreeing to a date with the Autumn Prince. You were tired of being alone, tired of waiting for the bond that will never snap for your mate. Eris was handsome, charming, and kept your attention full on him. You’d never met anyone quite like that.
“You look,” he spoke, surveying you over his whiskey glass, “divine.” You couldn’t hide the slight blush at his words, heat coursing through you. No other male had ever been able to affect you with such few words.
“I’m sure no different than the ladies you court in Autumn,” you responded, a teasing lilt to your voice. Eris chuckled, sipping his drink.
“Truth be told, I cant say i’ve ever had the interest in courting any of them.” You swore your heart stopped, mind going temporarily blank. “No one has ever caught my attention quite like you did.” He was looking at your curiously, as if trying to find some invisible string that tied you to him.
“I could say the same about you,” you got out, taking a mildly too large drink. Eris smiled back,
opening his mouth to say more when Cassian burst into the restaurant. He caught sight of you immediately, striding over to the table.
“He’s bad. He won’t accept any of us, he’s requesting you.” He looked apologetic, awkwardly glancing between you and Eris. You sighed, unable to hide the slow anger rising in you.
“Fine. Where is he?” You asked, standing from the table. You looked over to Eris, halfway ready to tell Azriel to screw himself so you could stay here. “Im so sorry. Our friend is…not well,” you explained, knowing he already knew the situation.
“Of course,” he said, waving you to go. “I just expect you to take me on an extravagant make-up date when he’s better.” The wink he gave you had color racing up your neck, a small smile on your lips.
***
Cass brought you to the townhouse, a sure sign that Azriel was wasted again. “I didn’t want to interrupt your date,” he began, “but he’s losing it in there. Crying and screaming about Elain, destroying everything he can get his hands on. Rhys can’t even get into his mind to calm him down.” You knew how dire this situation must be if Rhys was willing to infiltrate his friends mind without consent. You prepared yourself as the door opened, peering in to the damage he had caused.
It was bad. Very, very bad.
“Az?” You called out, stepping into the ruined home. “Are you in here?” You heard a low sob from the living room, turning to Cassian behind you. “You should stay out here, for now. I’ll yell if I need you.” He agreed, willing to do anything you thought may help his brother.
You made your way into the living room, finishing Azriel tucked into the farthest corner. His shadows were going wild, racing around the room in a chaotic show. You carefully walked over to him, being sure to not trip on any of the debris. You knelt down in front of him, running your hands up and down his arms.
“Hey, Az. I’m here now. What do you need?” Your words were quiet, soothing. He slowly lifted his head off his knees, eyes bloodshot. You clicked your tongue at the deep circles under them, the sunken skin of his cheeks. He was destroying himself.
“Let me help you up to bed, okay? I’ll bring you water, do you want me to send Cassian to pick up some food?” He shook his head as you pulled him up, looking almost small. You gently lead him upstairs, an area he had thankfully stayed out of during his rampage. You once again changed his clothes and tucked him into bed, heading downstairs to get him a glass of water.
You opened the front door to see Cassian sitting on the steps, waiting for you. “He’s in bed,” you said as he stood, “you are good to go. I’ll stay with him.” Cassian nodded, shifting on his feet.
“I’m sorry again. We may have had disagreements in the past, but Eris is proving to be a decent guy. I think he’d be good for you.” Your heart fluttered at his words, that small smile coming back onto your face.
“Yes, well, I suppose we will see.” He bid you goodnight and you closed the door, locking it behind you. You retrieved the glass for Az, bringing it up to him.
“Drink,” you commanded, pushing the water in his hands. He did so greedily, needing the cool liquid after his actions that night. You took the empty
glass from him, setting it on the nightstand. “Anything else?” You asked, voice missing the normal warmth it had when he was in this state.
Azriel looked at you closely, eyes slowly taking in your appearance. “You look…nice.” You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms over your chest.
“Yes, thanks for noticing. Are you good?” You were growing impatient.
“Why are you wearing that?” His question held a small tone of accusation, clearly unhappy that you were out while he was struggling.
“Honestly Azriel, do you take me as your mother? I was on a date, a very lovely night until you had to ruin it.” You couldn’t help the anger pushing out of you, years of being there for him piling up inside you.
“A date? With who?” He sneered, focused on the elegant but tight dress you had on.
“If you must know, I was with Eris. Now, do you need anything else?” You stared him down, focusing every emotion into that gaze. He began to shake his head, body suddenly stilling.
“Azriel?” Your anger began to be replaced by concern, the unblinking look on his face scaring you.
“You’re my mate.”
Oh. That. You couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled out of you at the injustice of it all. Centuries you longed after him, dreaming of this very moment. The very night your heart begins to long for another, the bond snaps.
Snaps while he’s drunk due to thoughts of another lover.
He states you down, unsure as to your laughter. “Azriel,” you sighed, “I know. I’ve known.”
He stood off the bed, the sudden realization sobering him. “This is great! You are my mate! This whole time, you’ve been right in front of me.” He raised a hand to your face, brushing your hair back lovingly. “My dearest friend, my mate.”
It was too much. You pushed back from him, shaking your head. “No, Azriel.”
“No?”
“I won’t be your second choice. Not when I have finally found someone I could be happy with, without the thought of you ruining it.” Your eyes filled with tears when you looked up at him. “You don’t want me, Az. You want her. You said it yourself, you wished she was your mate.”
His eyebrows furrowed, shadows becoming agitated again. “No that’s not what I meant, I-“
You cut him off. “Stop, Azriel. In the hundreds of years we’ve been friends, you’ve never once treated me as more than. You don’t want me, not like that. You never have.” Your heart squeezed tight at the devestaed look on his face.
“You can’t reject me,” he said, voice quiet.
You ran your hands over your face, a frustrated groan falling from you. “I’m not. I just don’t think this is truly what you want.” You looked up at him, standing tall. “I need you to want me for me, not because the bond has told you to.”
His shadows were swirling around, staying far away from you. The anger and hurt in his face broke you, but you stood strong. You would not be with a male you loved so deeply if he could not love you the same.
“Goodnight, Az,” you said, leaving his room and the destroyed townhouse before you broke any further.
***
I hope you like this!! I left the ending open, I feel like I always do HEAs so I wanted to try not not resolve the issue yet 🫣. Let me know what you think and thank you so much for liking my writing enough to request something ❤️
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hyewka · 1 month
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Ranaaa sub!jjunie content is so dry plis make a drabble with it tooo :(
warning: free use, degradation, misogyny, brat taming, sub!yeonjun, asshole!yeonjun, oppa use but its once 😭younger reader
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perfect timing because all i can have brainrot over is taming bratty yeonjun like i love obedient subs but jesus christ imagine having an egotistical pompous asshole grovel at your feet.
an au where hes your older brothers best friend whos always been in your life, constantly berating and making unfunny jabs at you in front of your brothers friend group since highschool; you thought oh well, you wouldn’t have to put up with it any longer once they graduate. to your demise, your brother and yeonjun get closer. they even choose to go to the same exact college. then, your brother lets you move in with him with no worry of paying overpriced rent. it feels like a gift from heaven until you come to dooming realization everythings going too well, too good to be true. the nagging instinct proves to be true as not only does yeonjun visit the apartment every day, he even sleeps over at times. its hell.
because now instead of making dumb teenage jokes about girls like he used to, hes turned into some weirdly overprotective guardian. making snarky comments on what you’re wearing whenever you go out, or giving you a scolding about how men “really” are for the tenth time and how oh youre so naive, you’re perfect prey for the kinds of guys in the “real world”. he talks your ear off, and when he gives that up he moves to belittle you and berate. its all hes good at. leech.
its no surprise seeing yeonjun on the couch again, you cant even kick him out because your brother pays like 80% of the rent—thats the con of paying less. you can’t fully treat this apartment like your place.
you also aren’t surprised when he catches you, eyes narrowing as they look you up and down. he sighs. you ignore it, putting on your heels.
“are you really going out like that?”
just ignore.
“i keep telling you its not safe to wear stuff like this but you don’t listen.”
ignore him.
“you know there are men out there who—hey, are you even listening?”
ignore.
“hey!” he yells, straightening up. you give him a glare this time, fool. you see the beer cans laying around everywhere. he’s a fool. good for nothing, a pretty face wasted on a fucked personality. he slumps back against the couch, tsking. “forget it. i’m just looking out for you while your brother can’t but okay, whatever, dress like a whore all you want. just don’t expect to be treated with-”
the rooms silent. all you feel is the burning numb feeling on your palm and rage snuffed the moment your hand landed across his face. you slapped him so hard, when he looks at you with wide wet eyes and a split lip, you let out a dry laugh. you feel everything rush back to you. all those humiliating memories. “seriously, who do you think you are? you’ve berated me those two years, embarrassed me, treated me like shit in front of people, and now you want to act like some fuckass parent?”
he flounders, you see the fear and confusion in his eyes, the way his lips part to say something only to come out with nothing. you grab his face, gripping it hard. “slut shaming me for what i wear? in this year? god, you must really not have a conscience.”
“i’m not slut shaming you! i’m just protecting-”
“protecting me? is that what you wanted to say? really?” you sneer, putting your knee between his legs, “what are you protecting me from? guys like you? perverted, sleazy, good for nothings?”
his cheeks are deep shade of red, it could be from how rough you’re gripping his face, or how hard you slapped him earlier or it’s him blushing. all those possibilities are amusing to you—you like it in fact. he’s stammering, shaking his head, trying to pull your hand off him. but he fails, which visibly gets him even more haughty and embarrassed. poor guy, he looks like he’s about to sob.
“what the fuck has gotten into you!? you’re speaking to me informally like i’m not your-"
“senior? oppa?” you push your thumb past his lips, and he panics again but you make sure to press on his tongue particularly hard. “you’re not any of those things, stupid mutt.”
you’ve always fantasized about being on top, someone taking charge of one whos always under your control, reacting to every touch or twist, you just didn’t expect to be in a predicament where yeonjun’s the one you’re feeling the burning desire to ruin. all of him, you want to ruin him.
seeing as how his eyes have welled up enough tears that they could spill any moment, it didn’t look too hard. “gosh, with the way you parade around, i’d think you wouldn’t be so easy to break.” you laugh coldly.
“y-you didn’t break me, fucking bitch. i’ll tell your brother-" he sounds like an actual fool talking, you could barely make out what hes saying, but lucky for him you caught on to the gist.
“no, you’re seriously a sleazebag. you go on and on about how men really are, warning me about this and that, but right now you could easily manhandle and overpower me, but you just sit here. and fuck, you pop a boner at me being slightly mean to you? tell me, was it the dress that you’re telling me not to wear out? calling you a stupid mutt? my leg? or god forbid, the slap?” you smirk at seeing his eyes widen looking down, they might really pop. did he really not know he got hard?
“pervert. you really were just warning me about guys like you... perverts.”
you shove two fingers in his mouth, simultaneously choking him and shutting him up, serves him right. “i bet you’ve jerked off this pathetic dick of yours to the thought of me. is that why you feel the need to berate me? to cover for your guilty conscience? stupid mutt.” you’ve having too much fun with this, seeing him not fight back, just sitting there taking it, letting his tears drip down. choi yeonjun…a crybaby. who would’ve thought.
you don’t mean for it to go any further, its just a little scare to get him off your back, a little grinding against his clothed hard on, just a little to have him elicit a whiny moan, just a little to have his senses overwhelmed—a little to have him humiliated with spilling his slimy seed in his pants so quick, sticky cum staining his boxers. leaving him there on the couch, overstimulated and pathetic, breathless, with an arm draped over his face, while you go out to the party you’re a bit too late for.
no jackets to appease him, no change of clothes, it felt freeing. you should do this more often.
then imagine smothering your cunt on his face, pinning the stupid asshole down just frustrated out of your mind and using him to have him shut the fuck up for once. his incessant whining and squirming under you dies down..eventually. then he stops pretending to not like it anymore, and you hear the squelching. he’s jacking off. he’s been so annoying and you’ve been sexually frustrated for the past week— getting a scolding from your professor today was the final straw. luckily for you, yeonjun said something to piss you off again.
he hasn’t stopped since that day, actually you figure him being an asshole only got worse after that incident. he’s more mean, despite humiliating him over and over again. you even positioned him to bend over your lap when your brother was out, spanking him until he shook, cheeks beet red. no matter how much you humiliate and berate him, it doesnt deter him, he only becomes worse outside of sex. “god, you’re super fucking annoying, you know that?” you groan, sliding your cunt back and forth his face, gripping his hair.
you can’t be mad for long when he’s making an effort to actually make you feel good, eagerly opening his mouth, lewd eyes looking up at you through his wet lashes as he eats you out—you find it cute almost. you dispel the thought, and decide to look elsewhere other than his face to keep your mind off. this is for your pleasure, not his, focus on that high building up.
its a weird relationship, you and yeonjun. he lets you use him however you like despite his complaining, he says he doesn’t want it, then he purposefully riles you up—you know that because every time he does it and you take his bait successfully, you find he isn’t in any underwear. bastard.
“stop jerking off freak.” you grit, shutting your eyes as you get sloppier and quicker, so …close. you can hear he followed your demand, the only sound being your desperate grinding. then you feel his whine, it sends some vibration, like he’s really a mutt begging for you to look at him. you ignore it, you’re good at that. but then he turns his head to your thigh, biting the flesh and you jolt. this indecent brat! you take two fistfuls of his stupid dyed hair, and move just a little more. a little more, and you cum all over his face.
minutes go by after you orgasmed and you’re on your back, on your bed, kicking him out with the lower half of his face glistening, wet with your cum. “leave.” you regard him coldly and he rolls his eyes, frowning, wordlessly shutting your door aggressively. a smile slowly spreads across your face as the realization sets in; he’s probably mad you blue balled him. serves choi yeoniun right.
this is definitely some much needed therapeutic healing.
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