#if you look close enough you can see the mouse cursor
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USING RELIGHT FOR RESHADE - a tutorial by amoebae
[You can also find this tutorial over at imgur and patreon]
ReLight is a premium shader for ReShade made by Marty's Mods (Pascal Gilcher). It allows you to add four new lights to your scene that help illuminate, and create realism and drama. To download and use ReLight you need to subscribe to the Path Tracers tier on Gilcher's Patreon to get access to the iMMERSE Ultimate package of shaders. Once subscribed, you'll be prompted to link your Patreon account to discord, and then you'll be granted access to his discord server, and, most importantly, to the Path Tracers discussion channel and the Downloads Level 2 channel, which is where you will find ReLight (along with the other premium shaders included in that tier).
Be sure to also download the up-to-date free iMMERSE shader package, because you'll need the Launchpad shader and some of the other included files.
The following guide is for the older qUINT_relight.fx version of ReLight. The latest version of ReLight is MartysMods_RELIGHT.fx, released on 31st December 2023. Many of the settings have changed in the newer version, but you can still use this guide to help understand how to enable and position lights. The guide will be updated/rewritten once I've had time to properly play around with the new version. You can continue to use the older version if you'd prefer.
When you turn on ReLight in the ReShade menu you'll be greeted with these settings. Yours may look different because I've used it a lot and it remembers your last settings.
Take a look at the settings at the top.
Use Smooth Normals = On
Trace Shadows = On
Filter Shadows = On
Use Temporal Supersampling = On
Shadow Mode = Trace All
Shadow Quality = Ultra (change this if you get bad performance)
Shadow Sharpness = I have mine set around 0.65 but you can play around with whatever looks best
Z Thickness = Play around with this too. It controls how realistically shadows fall on and around objects
At the very bottom of the settings is Visualize Light Position. Turn this on so you can easily see where your lights are.
Now we can turn on one of our lights. Remember, it remembers your previous settings so yours will look different to mine the first time you use it.
Under Light 0 check the Active box.
You should see a big circle appear somewhere on the screen. If you have any object close enough to it, you should see them get brighter. If nothing is close to the circle you may not see any difference.
You can see a difference between this screenshot and the last - Shadowheart's face is brighter.
Now it's time to move the light where we want it and change it to a colour we like.
Under the Active box you'll see a row of 3 boxes containing numbers, next to the word Position. These control the coordinates of your circle of light in relation to the screen. You can place your mouse inside these boxes and move it while holding down left-click to change the value a little like a slider.
Left box = moves the circle left/right
Middle box = moves the circle up/down
Right box = moves the circle forward/back
In this shot I've moved the circle of light over to the right and a little further back so it better illuminates the front of Shadowheart's face.
Next you can choose the colour of your light.
In the row below Position you'll see it says Tint. Click on the coloured box next to Tint and it will bring up the colour picker you see in the screenshot. Choose your colour from here. Click anywhere in the main ReShade menu to close the colour picker.
I adjusted the position and the tint a little more until I had it exactly where I wanted it. You can see a darker circle now over in the top right of the screen (my mouse cursor is hovering over it to make it easier to see).
You can use the Intensity slider (directly below Tint) to control how bright the light should be.
You may need to go back and forth between the Position, Tint, and Intensity settings until you get just the right effect.
Here's a reminder of what the picture looks like without that added light. Compare it to the screenshot above to see how great our new little light has been at helping illuminate Shadowheart.
You can turn individual lights on and off whenever you want by checking or unchecking the Active box next to the light in question. It will save your settings.
Now I want to add a second light. I've moved my ReShade window over a little so I can see what I'm doing.
I turned on the Active box under Light 1, and positioned my new light where I wanted it. Look over to the left of the statue in the background. You'll see my mouse cursor, and directly above it is a tiny blue circle. That's our second light!
The further you move the light away from the camera (using the right-hand box under Position) the smaller the circle gets, because it's further away!
I made this light blue, and I turned the intensity up quite high. This has helped illuminate the statue and added nice shadows that help give it some depth.
Here's a screenshot to remind you what everything looks like without any of the ReLight lights I added.
And here's a screenshot showing how everything looks with ReLight turned on and my two lights in action. I chose a subtle effect because I just wanted to draw attention to Shadowheart's face and to the statue behind her.
When you close the ReShade menu the circles that helped you know where your lights were will go away, but the light they cast will remain. Notice how you can't see the two circles in this shot?
You can also uncheck the Visualize Light Position box if you want to hide the circles while keeping the ReShade menu open. This can be helpful if they're obscuring parts of the scene that you need to see while you continue editing.
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And that's it! You can add up to 4 lights and control them independently from one another. You can use them to just help illuminate a character for a portrait, to add drama with bold lighting, or to increase the realism of a scene with better shadows and light falling where you would expect it to. If you have a big fiery sword you can add a light to it that makes orange light cast onto the character who is holding it, which can look really cool. The only limit is your imagination.
(If I ever learn how to make videos I'll translate this tutorial into an easier format, but for now I hope this helps.)
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“You love dreams, don’t you?”
He kept his eyes glued to the screen of his computer. The words are a blur, whatever pictures there were nothing but a mesh of colors the more H focused on them. A deep swallow -- hard to even keep down without it hurting his throat. Anything to keep his attention away from...from...
Don’t you want to see him again?
H ignored how fingertips slid along his forearm, goosebumps rising after them. He resisted the urge to lean back into the weight settling behind his chair. Locks of hair can be seen at the corner of his eye, prompting H to clear his throat as if it was nothing but a trick of the mind. A cruel joke. Another clue that this is nothing but a fucking dream. H blinked back tears with a sniff, the hand holding at his computer mouse trembling.
Go away. Please go away. I don’t want to see you...
Another hand reached from behind him, taking hold of it.
“Stop-” H choked out, only for those fingers to intertwine tightly. A nose burrowed into H’s hair, lips felt at the back of his head where they curved up in a pleased smile. A doting smile. A sweet smile. His smile.
“Look at me.”
When H hadn’t complied, a laugh is heard through an amused sigh. Those fingers pulled H’s away from the mouse, gently turning the chair around so he’d face the other. H kept his gaze down to watch feet setting on the ground as the man sat down on another chair. He rolled it forward. His forehead touches at H’s one, making his breath hitch in anxiety. His sigh became blurry just as his hands are taken to be held. They were...so warm. He always wanted to believe that these hands are frigid as ice -- what was there to keep warm and so...so full of life? Isn’t he just a walking corpse at this point?
“H.”
...
...
Silence.
“No more, X. Please... You’ve got what you wanted.”
A loud ringing is heard in his ears. The silence enveloping them constricted hard in H’s chest, hoping that it would suffocate him at long last. Anything to get him out of this. To get away from him.
Finally, H brought his eyes up. Hatred swirled in them. How lovely~.
“See? Was that so hard?” Lips brushed against his, H grimacing at the unnatural taste from him. A chuckle rumbled from X as he pulled away, his own eyes glimmering with mirth. It’s his fucking eyes-- how could it still be HIM? “You didn’t answer my question, H.” The man tore his gaze away at long last. He swallowed down the unpleasant taste at the back of his throat.
“What does that have to do with anything?” he asked instead. Challenging, even.
X’s lips returned to touch at his skin; this time, at his cheek where his beard tickled at him.
“I’m here, aren’t I?” It wasn’t his...voice. ITS voice.
A pitiful sob came out of him. H couldn’t stop the tears falling down his cheeks with his glasses falling to his lap, then clattering to the ground. Arms wrapped around him, a large hand rubbing along his back. His eyes closed as he took in that familiar scent emanating from X.
J’s jacket. He’s still wearing it...
...
...
...
His eyes opened. He’s slouching on his computer chair, facing the screen with the cursor still in place where he had been writing. Glancing around the room and squinting at the sunlight peeking through the blinds, H straightened up with a groan before his eyes caught a sight. A tan jacket draped along his body, large enough to reach down to his knees. H scrambled to pull his legs in to have his knees up in his chair, curling up with the jacket tightly wrapped around him. He dug his nose into the fabric, shuddering at the scent from it.
He turned towards the window, hearing chatter and laughter from people walking by his apartment. H curled more into it, remembering what he thought of as he watched that last video. The way HE sneered at the camera and thanking his most precious lilies -- his beloved dullard.
I am forever yours. All I ever wanted was you.
#10tapes#10tapes H#10tapes X#i need a ship tag for them lmao#10tapes HX#yeah why not#idk i just wanted to write this out#jaunty writes a thing#jeffiot
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DISPATCH_2
It's sort of common for some people with trauma to say "I wish I never felt ever again," or something to that effect. To never feel an emotion again sometimes would solve almost all of my immediate issues. No more anxiety to disable me. No depressive thoughts. Nothing. I would just float on from one year to the next in ignorant bliss.
I always said that I felt things more intensely than others. One of my best friends is like that too. I remember he was talking about something that really hit him hard and why he reacted the way he did to it. He said, "I'm just a giant pussy," but in a way that meant he owned that. He *is* a giant pussy, like myself, in the way that he is aware that he feels emotions and is effected by them. It was something that I hold onto till this very day. Yeah, I'm a huge giant dripping pussy of emotions. And I'm okay with that. It keeps me from feeling like I never want to experience emotions. It grounds me by reminding me that a person I love dearly can feel the same way as I do sometimes, but they own it and I can too.
Feeling happy is bittersweet. For a long time, I always thought happiness was just a small treat for living life. You got small moments where you're happy, but the rest of life is miserable. And it's hard now to look back and see if I've ever really been happy in my life. I grew up in rough conditions at times and I'm a victim of child abuse. I've been homeless 3 times across the span of my life. I didn't date until I was 19. I've tried to end my own life too many times to count. How do I feel like I could ever be happy if all I've ever known is the worst possible outcome besides death?
What happens when your brain can manufacture that feeling of happiness? How do you know that the joy you're feeling is real or just a symptom?
Mania is a terrifying force while also, ironically, being one of the best feelings in the world. It's almost euphoric. You laugh the hardest at all the jokes and feel uplifted and motivated. There isn't a drug in the world that'll make you feel as good as pure Mania does. You're invincible.
But you're also irrational, easily angered, mean, impulsive. It only takes a small transgression to switch to a Monster. You lash out and hurt others desperately to bring them down to the near bedrock that is your level. You fall off the top of the mountain into a ravine. You end up in a broken pile of anger and impulsive thoughts at the bottom.
YOU MADE ME DO THIS
LOOK AT WHAT YOU MADE ME DO
THIS IS YOUR FAULT
I DID THIS BECAUSE OF
YOU
BLAME GAME
My Word document closes and the Transmission application pops up in its place. OUT is in grey but IN is pulsing slowly, begging me to click on it. I do and I'm taken to an MSN email box. A single email greets me with the title CLAIM YOUR FREE GIFT!!!!!!!! The mouse cursor hovers over it, my instincts screaming at me to exit out of the window. I click it anyway. There's only one sentence in the body of the email:
EVEN IF YOU ARE NOT READY FOR THE DAY, IT CANNOT ALWAYS BE NIGHT
I look up from the monitor of the computer, startled by the woosh of a fireplace coming to life suddenly from across The Room. The bright orange and yellow light of the dancing flames have lit up The Room enough so I can see its entirety.
It's a bare room with only the desk, my chair, the fireplace, and a picture of a helicopter hanging completely square on the wall opposite from the desk. Under the picture is a sturdy dark wooden door. The handle is gone and a bar welded across the middle let me know the door is basically decoration at this point. The walls are a pale eggshell white with tiny cracks near the top, spiderwebbing out upwards towards the black and infinite chasm of what should be a roof. The Room is small and circular like I'm at the top of a lighthouse, only the windows have been walled over by a slumlord.
A Jenga puzzle of old but pristine wooden planks make up the floor. The old wood had warped and settled over decades, creating small canyons between some boards. By the fireplace, I notice a big cardboard box labelled "TO HELIPORT" stamped on the side is now visible. For the first time since I've been aware of this Room, I feel compelled to get up to see what is inside the cardboard cube.
I'm not even aware of how I got to the box by the time I'm standing in front of it; as if an edit was made between me getting up from the chair and walking a short distance.
The top of the box has a fine layer of dust on it and is sealed with clear packing tape. A box cutter is sitting on top of the tape, taunting me. I feel my heart pick up as my hands start to shake. What is going on? Why am I scared?
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID
3 TIMES
YOU FAILED EVERY TIME
NOW YOU'RE ONLY LEFT
WITH
SCARS OF EMBARASSMENT
MARKINGS OF WEAKNESS
LINES OF SHAME
YOU BLAMED IT ON HER
YOU ARE A
MONSTER
With the swipe of a hand, I slap the knife into the fire off the top of the box like I was angrily shooing away a fly. The knife flies off the box and lands directly into the fireplace with a burst of embers as it hit the logs. Dust flies up into the air in the aftermath like dull glitter celebrating my beautiful display of hand-eye coordination. Pride washes over me, not only for eliminating this perceived threat of the knife, but also by the aim of the swat. I do a small fist pump.
I realize now that I'm also anxious about the contents of this box. Gently grabbing the sides, I try to lift the box slowly to judge its weight. To my surprise, the box is very light and feels like it's completely empty, but the feeling of something small and flat sliding around told me otherwise.
I set the box down and push the sides in that are at each end of the stretch of tape holding the box together. As both sides come in, it creates enough space for my finger to get in and rip the tape off cleanly. My hands have done this many times and I didn't even realize it was happening until I set the box down.
Dust swirls around in the light of the fireplace as I look at the cardboard square in front of me. I lift the flaps up to find a small electronic device sitting at the bottom. It's black and square with a small screen taking up the top third of the body. A circle dominates the last two thirds under the screen. On the top is a tiny switch on one side and a hole on the other with a wire plugged into it that splits off in two at the end.
It was an iPod.
The metal back of the mp3 player was cold in my hands as I picked it up. The headphones dangled like stiff and dirty strands of hair while I stared at the electronic device in my hand.
This is Mine.
I push the middle of the circle pad and the screen glows to life. My hands know exactly what to do with the iPod as my thumb scrolls through the system to find out what is on this thing. I get to the Artists section and scroll through a list of bands that activate the pleasure centers of my brain. It felt like I scrolled for a lifetime by the time I got to the end. Nothing stood out to me so I went back to see if there were any videos.
There was only one file labeled "themanwhosoldtheworld.mp4" in the Videos folder. This can be either a killer David Bowie song Past Me must have loved or another bit of information on just what the fuck is going on here. I make sure to check out the earbuds to see if they're nasty, and put them into my ears. With a satisfying *click* of the middle button, the video starts playing on the tiny screen.
Static of white noise and the bustle of people could be heard. It looked like the video was shot in a supermarket. The camera pans down, looking into a large, long freezer of various frozen bags of food. Suddenly, the camera stops and whips upwards to a woman's face. The camera person shouts excitedly, "FWENCH FWIES??" to which the woman responds just as excited with "FWENCH FWIES?!?!?!?!" Her face immediately gives me goosebumps, in a good way. She loves me.
Cut to black
A new video starts
The camera is pointing towards a sliding glass door and still. Behind the glass is a wooden porch where two people sit on stools, Me and another man. The porch is elevated, meaning we're on the second floor. We're both dressed in basketball shorts and hoodies on a beautiful fall day. I have a bong in my hand while we're both laughing. There's a cat in a hammock stuck to the glass by suction cups. A dog sits between Me and My Friend, her face blank with pure joy as she looks between us. My heart swells with emotion as my entire relationship with this man flashes before me. These images flick by on the screen for just moments, but I recognize every one of them. Us hugging on a porch while My Friend cries on my shoulder. In a van with desolate winter flying past us as we talk about everything. A kitchen of a fast food restaurant bustles with movement as the two of Us work back to back, talking shit to each other. Us together at a concert, singing in tandem with our other friends to every song. He's the first person who made me feel valuable in my existence. This person also loves me.
Cut to black
THIS IS WHAT MATTERS
HOW CAN YOU GIVE THIS UP
HOW COULD YOU EVEN TRY
THIS
IS
LIFE
AREN'T YOU GLAD
YOU'RE HERE
I pull the earbuds out of my ears and look up. I'm back in the chair at the computer and my head feels like it's made of clam chowder. There's an immense pressure behind my forehead as my vision goes black.
My eyes open and I realize I'm facedown on the keyboard with drool leaking out of my mouth. I groan and blink my eyes for a few moments, realizing I don't have enough strength to lift my head or straighten my back to get off this keyboard. Hell, I can't even lift my arms up from dangling next to me like wet noodles. Even if I could, there's no way I could muster the power to push myself off the desk. Tears drip out of my eyes as I feel helpless and weak slouched over the computer. I understand what's happening after a moment and I settle in as I wait for the strength to come back to my body. I'm left with my thoughts the entire time and wish I never felt anything ever again.
The computer makes a short error noise that startles me out of my haze. I drag my eyes up to see if anything has changed on the monitor since I last checked. There's a Word document open that says:
GET TO WORK
WRITE WHAT YOU KNOW
WHEN YOU'RE DONE
HIT SAVE
DISPATCH WILL RELAY MESSAGE
GOOD LUCK
CHOOSE LIFE
A new document opens with the file name Dispatch_2 and a prompt at the top of the clean white digital page:
Have you ever felt happy?
I smile and laugh at how ironic this prompt is as I slowly lift my head up from the keyboard. A snail trail of slobber followed my face up as I fix my posture in the chair to be upright. After a lot of groans and heavy breathing, I'm able to put myself into a position to type.
And I start writing what I know.
It's sort of common for some people with trauma to say "I wish I never felt ever again," or something to that effect.
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Week 9: November 1
This week for creative research/inspiration I went to a special exhibit at MoMa called Never Alone: Video Games and Other Interactive Design.
Note that I will be attaching videos here since the games are better depicted as videos of gameplay.
Flower
By Jenova (Xinghan) Chen and thatgamecompany
“In flower, the player becomes the wind. The game is presented as a potted flower’s dream, in which the wind blows one of its petals away from the city and into a verdant landscape. The wind picks up more petals as it goes, and the pleasantly aimless journey becomes increasingly vivid and intense. There is no goal, only complete immersion in nature and whatever sensations that brings - whether thrilling, soothing, or contemplative”
Walkthrough of Gameplay:
youtube
My notes when playing:
There is only a mouse. You can move the mouse around, but can’t do much with the buttons.
You can move up, down, left, and right
You have to stay above ground and can only go so high
There is a glowing orb in the center of the petals that is the center of control for direction.
Is very simple in the sense that there are not to many signifiers or menus
There is a sky and a ground that is a landscape
Grass at the bottom blows in the wind
There are some sparkles, especially near the grass
You are an orb and petals move in a whirlwind trail behind it
Sometimes there is a glowing trail or two of sparkles beneath you reflected on the grass like a shadow if you are close enough
The glowing orb that is the main center of control is mapped to the cursor. Moving the mouse up causes you do move up, down causes you to move down, left causes you to move left, and right causes you to move right
Going through the grass causes the grass to part, and sparkles to fly around, as expected would happen based on physics
You approach with a sense of curiosity because there are not too many signifiers on the screen, and the colors and simplicity draw you in
It is contemplative because you just wander the environment
There is a sense of thrill because you are able to fly, and the moving petals and grass provide a continual sense of movement
You pick up petals as you go along
The backstory was given through reading the wall, as well as in the beginning of the game
There isn’t really a goal, but you can pick up some petals as you go along, and some areas gain more color as you go through it
You get more colors as you go along
When you get closer to the ground, there is a glowing path that follows you.
The grass blows in the wind and moves out of the way when you go through it
There are swirls of color in the grass
It is understood that the user is supposed to use the mouse as it is the only input interface. Based on prior experience using computers, it is understood that the mouse moves you up, down, left, and right when you move it in the same direction
Flying Letters
By John Maeda
vimeo
My notes:
You can right or left click with the two buttons below the touch pad
The rectangle in the middle of the screen tells what areas of the screen are actually active/you are able to interact with
There is a menu with numbers 0-9 in boxes that you can right click on to access a new interaction. The mode you are on will have a white box with black text, while the others are inverted with white text and black background
The cursor arrow only appears when hovering over the menu to show that you are able to click on it
Is very simple. There is rectangle in the center that tells what areas of the screen are actually active/you are able to interact with
There is a menu on the right labeled 0-9 that lets you select a new interaction mode
There is only a touchpad with a left and right button to interact with
The touchpad is on a table that is waist level, and the screen is an old fashioned computer above you, pointed down in you direction. You have to look up to see the screen.
The numbers 0-9 on the menu map to different letter interactions you can play with
The letters follow the cursor, and act in a way that one would expect in real life. In one mode, the cursor is the front letter in the word “Flying letters”, and the other letters follow it. Each letter follows in the letter before it’s previous position, making the letters flow as they follow the cursor. Letters that rotate on an axis in one mode move up, down, left, right depending on what direction the cursor moves. In another mode, the word ‘vertical’ is written in all caps vertically across the screen, and horizontal in all caps horizontally, and the cursor is the intersection. The cursor controls where the two words intersect, and it moves up, down, left, right with where the finger is on the touchpad to drag that intersection point across the screen.
There is a sense of curiosity. When clicking on a new mode, you don’t know what it will do at first, and some of the interactions are surprising.
There is a sense of wonder because you have to look up at the screen.
Letter interactions are satisfying
No particular goal
You play with each mode until you understand or are bored or satisfied, and move into the next one
Everything is black and white
Older screen provides some movement because it flickers just a little
No sound
Letters follow where the player is touching the touchpad, and moves up, down, left, and right in a way that would be expected. It does pull from interactions the user has had before. The sphere made of letters rotates like a 3D one, or the horizontal and vertical lines create an intersection that can be moved like maybe the user has seen before in other apps. The interactions are simple enough though that it can be figured out just by moving around on the touchpad.
Getting Over it with Bennett Foddy
By Benett Foddy
Foddy bluntly says, “I created this game for a certain type of person. To hurt them.” It’s the kind of player who feels entitled to make progress and eventually win - an expectation Foddy delights in thwarting. The goal is to climb a mountain of rocks and garbage, but the character attempting it is awkwardly stuck in a cauldron, and the game’s controls are infuriatingly - deliberately - clumsy. Players cannot save their progress; mistakes can tip the character down the mountain. This near-futile exercise prompts reflection on what we expect from a game, and what keeps us playing.
youtube
My Notes:
There is only a mouse as an input interface
You can right click to grab onto something with the ax
There is a slightly transparent white circle where the cursor is, which controls the tip of the ax.
You can click to grab onto something
There is only a mouse
Is very simple in the sense that there are not to many signifier or menus
There is a sky and a ground that is a landscape, and lots of rocks and trash to grab onto. The rocks and trash create a mountain to climb.
Otherwise relatively desolate
Player is stuck in a cauldron.
Occasionally text appears at the bottom, which is the maker of the game sort of mocking you
The semi-transparent white circle represents the tip of the ax and is where the cursor is, so the player can control how the ax is swung
The ax movement is limited by range of the human arm, and can really only be moved up or down in a circle, so the ax moves with the cursor, but only to an extent
Incredibly frustrating
You get frustrated because it feels a little bit like the controls don’t follow exactly the way you feel like they should
Also it’s very easy to lose all your progress
Make it’s little hopeless, but when you do make progress it fills you with determination
You start at the bottom of the mountain and climb your way to the top of the trash/rock mountain. You generally move right.
It’s incredibly hard to control the ax accurately to pull yourself up the mountain. You only can use the ax because your legs are useless because your lower body is stuck in a cauldron
Even when you make progress, a mistake can send you all the way to the bottom. There is no real way to save your progress
Along the way the game maker will talk to you and sometime sort of mock you, which can add aggravation
Somewhat realistic color palette
Background is cloudy and green, it seems rocky, industrial, and desolate other than the rocks and trash in the foreground
Dusk can be kicked up by the ax
Water can slosh out of the cauldron you’re in
Some sound effects from the metal of the cauldron hitting the ground, and the sound of the ax hitting the rocks
Sometime game maker will come in and talk/make fun of you adding to frustration
Relatively quiet otherwise for concentration and also no distractions so you can fully feel how excruciating the task is
It is understood that the user is supposed to use the mouse as it is the only input interface. Based on prior experience using computers, it is understood that the mouse moves you up, down, left, and right.
Tweenbot
By Kacie Kinzer
Tweenbots are human-dependent cardboard robots that navigate the city with the help of pedestrians they encounter. Rolling at a constant speed, in a straight line, Tweenbots have a destination displayed on a flag, they rely on people they meet to read this flag and to aim them in the right direction to reach their goal. The Tweenbot’s success is dependent people’s willingness to step outside of habitual actions and engage with a technological object in the city space. As emotive characters placed in the improbable setting of the city, Tweenbots create an unexpected interaction, disrupting the narratives of our everyday experience, and offering a fleeting and playful connection in the context of the city street.
Tweenbot description
Tweenbot
I love how tweenbot is made of such simple materials, yet is such a powerful project. Its design is super cute, which maybe makes it more friendly for people to want to approach it. I also like the level of involvement and interaction that a tiny robot is able to cause. Strangers are all working together to help Tweenbot reach its goal. It is a little heartwarming.
Visiting this exhibit taught me a lot about designing interfaces, and not just for games. It taught me how people interact with things in museum on display, and the proper amount of information needed for someone to understand how to interact with an object. For example, the labels all also have icons at the bottom that showed what the user was able to use to play the game (mouse, keyboard, touchpad, etc.). I also liked Flying Letters, and thought about what if there were letter interactions that juxtaposed each other, sort of like the horizontal and vertical line interaction that it was able to do. There was a horizontal line made with the letters HORIZONTAL and a vertical line with the letters VERTICAL, and you could play with where the lines intersect.
For scholarly research this week, I looked at an article called “Why Did Humans Evolve Pattern Recognition Abilities?” by Aditya Shukla.
Citation: Shukla, Aditya. “Why Did Humans Evolve Pattern Recognition Abilities?” Cognition Today, December 4, 2021.https://cognitiontoday.com/why-did-humans-evolve-pattern-recognition-abilities/.
Link: https://cognitiontoday.com/why-did-humans-evolve-pattern-recognition-abilities/
This article is similar to the previous one I wrote about about Superior Pattern Processing (SPP), but in more accessible language. It discusses why people are wired to see patterns evolutionarily, the brain structures in places that allow this pattern recognition to take places, and some of the side effects of this pattern processing. It also discusses how pattern processing is linked to memory and our senses like smell. This is part of the psychology of juxtaposition, which depends on pattern recognition or associations with symbols. Some important quotes are highlighted below:
This quote is about how we impose patterns even when there is none. This explains why in previous creative explorations, when I put random works together, I would form connections between objects where there wasn’t necessarily one.
Pattern recognition is evolutionarily advantageous for us, as it allowed us to recognize something we’ve seen before and behave accordingly, This is why it is so ingrained into the brain - part of it is always active seeking patterns. Again, why we see patterns sometimes when there isn't necessarily one - we are always on the lookout for it.
Pattern recognition can also lead to some negative things like confirmation bias and jumping to conclusions. This ties into some of the negative aspects of soft power, as this can be taken advantage of.
Overall this week, I got some really good inspiration for how and interactive work can encourage the audience to interact with it with the right discoverability and signifiers. Flying Letters also maybe gave some ideas for how I can make something related to juxtaposition interactive. I was also inspired by the simple material of the Tweenbot, and how it encourage people to come together to help it complete a goal. The article I read provided some clarity to the previous on on SPP, and more directly related to juxtaposition (How it works because of the patterns and connections we are able to make), and soft power (how pattern processing can lead to confirmation bias and jumping to conclusions).
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Mac move dock to side
MAC MOVE DOCK TO SIDE WINDOWS
(I’ll discuss other settings below.) If you look at your Mac’s screen, you can see that the dock takes up a fairly large percentage of its vertical pixels when it’s at the bottom. You’ll see a number of settings, including one for Position on screen.
MAC MOVE DOCK TO SIDE WINDOWS
Many people that are accustomed to Windows think that clicking the red button closes the application. Open System Preferences, and then click the Dock & Menu Bar icon. Multiple-window application - like, say, Safari - don't. That makes sense for those applications, because all there is to do with them is in that window. Single-window applications - like, for example, System Preferences - quit when their only window is closed. To change this quickly, right-click any vacant area in the dock (not on any app icon), and select Position. You can also summon all windows from just one application with control-down arrow. The dock can be moved to either side of the screen to save precious screen real estate. You can summon Mission Control, for example, with control-up arrow, and have access to all windows in all applications. The menu bar should be where the windows/apps are!ī) isn't a good solution because I need all the screen width I can get.įullscreen applications basically will leave the second screen black and unusable.Ĭommand-` switches between windows of the same application. Either display it on the screen the user actually set for it (what's the point of the setting if it's being ignored?!) or display it on both screens - or at least don't make it switch unless you keep the mouse in that spot for something like 10 seconds, so accidental switches (like when you're resizing a window) don't happen!Ī) Works in a way because the dock actually respects its "arrangement" setting and you can move windows half-way to one screen without it being cut off but at the same time it's really annoying that the menu bar is only on the main monitor and you have to move your mouse there, even when you're currently working on a second, third. I’d love to use auto hide, but when I slide over to make the Dock reappear, the delay is always just long enough to annoy me.The constant switching after keeping your cursor there for just a second is annoying and user-hostile because it breaks the workflow when you actually have to search for the dock. For me, there is almost always more than enough horizontal space and almost never enough vertical space. With the Dock on the right, always set to its largest size, and with my Finder preferences set so that new windows open to the Home folder, I was able to largely re-create the arrangement I had grown accustomed to in ye olden tymes.Ī secondary reason is that I like my windows to be as tall as possible, while I rarely run out of horizontal space. I can’t remember for sure, but knowing how meticulous I can be about such trivial things, I’m guessing I curated that column of icons to keep it from spilling over to the left to a second column. That stretched all the way down to the bottom right corner, where the Trash sat. Below that, I had a single column of icons that consisted of aliases to my most frequently used applications and my most frequently used folders and files. In those days, the hard drive icon sat in the upper right corner. The reason I have mine on the right goes back to how I arranged my Desktop before OS X.
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Dragon ball z extreme mugen download
#Dragon ball z extreme mugen download download
She is known for her work on my little pony: Grátis inglês 265,5 mb windows. estão participando desse game os animes: Andrea libman was born on jin toronto, ontario, canada as andrea eva libman.She has been married to jeffrey howes since september 2014.
#Dragon ball z extreme mugen download download
Hehe.That was just careless, don't you think? ”ĭid I hurt you? Sometimes I don't know my own strength.Dragon Ball Z M.u.g.e.n Edition 2019 / Ultra Dragon Ball Z Mugen Download Dbzgames Org - Dragonball z mugen edition 2013. No matter the odds, no matter the strength, there is always a way. Look, I have a wife, an extremely angry wife who I am terrified of, point is, can I stay at your place? ” You weren't counting on one thing! Punching my head is like punching a rock! ” Haha! I like your effort, but it's not enough to defeat me. ) ”Īha! Nice going there, I ache all over! ” I'm Earth's saviour, got a beef with it bud. The seas, the wind, the very Earth itself lends me its strength. I'm a Saiyajin, but I was raised on Earth! ” HEY! I bet I can throw that big rock over there further than you can!! ” If you try to destroy the Earth or my friends, I'll never forgive you! ” Move has different functionality between game modesįor any additional palettes besides the above, see Alternative palettes. Versions:, height and distance vary with button pressed, to cancel into Aerial Strong Kick while at a certain heightĭamage and number of hits increase with charge timeĪutomatically activates after 2.5 seconds of charge Projectile velocity varies with button pressedĭuring Dragon Fist phase 1 – Circle Punchĭuring Dragon Fist phase 1 – Circle Punch orĭuring Dragon Fist phase 3 – Dragon Upperĭuring attack to cancel into Dragon Fist ender – Snap Kick upon landing Hovering the mouse cursor over the icon displays the hold duration if applicable. Icons encased in square brackets require the respective button(s) to be held down. Hovering the mouse cursor over the Command Input icons will display text that refers to the inputs set in M.U.G.E.N's Key Config. will also ruthlessly exploit Goku Z2's Bicycle Kick, as it hits behind the opponent, making it difficult to block or counter. Goku Z2 can almost flawlessly block all oncoming attacks, making it near impossible to punish its attacks, or punish it overall, though due to the safeness of its attacks, Goku Z2 can quite easily punish its opponent's attacks. is horrifically aggressive, tough and can be quite cheap, spamming projectiles from afar, using its Power Charge when it's safe to do so, and performing lengthy combos a common combo Goku Z2 performs when at a distance is firing several Ki Blasts and following it up with a Kamehameha, to which it then proceeds to rush up to the opponent and combo them further with close-ranged attacks. While this character was made for fighting game enthusiasts first and Dragon Ball fans second, it still has many Dragon Ball-inspired elements and custom features, though as mentioned prior, its damage output is significantly lower than many other Dragon Ball characters, making the mastery of its combos a necessity. Due to this, it was grounded with Street Fighter/Marvel vs Capcom basics, but he has huge comboability with its Special Moves, making it easy to use, but difficult to master. Goku Z2 was meant to break the negativity towards Dragon Ball characters in M.U.G.E.N, which was caused due to most of them being overpowered, unbalanced, and overly flashy. Goku Z2 also has a unique Hope System that once activated, causes his Power Charge to fill up the Genkidama meter as opposed to its Power meter. Unlike many other Dragon Ball characters, Goku Z2 cannot fly around the stage, instead making use of multi-directional Air Dashing. It has many mechanics and features as its disposal, with abilities such as Super Jump, Power Charge, Chain Combos, Air Combos, Hyper Combos, EX Specials and a Focus Attack that doubles up as a projectile counter (named Slap Chop). Capcom and certain Dragon Ball video games. Goku Z2 is a six-button character with a gameplay inspired by that of the Street Fighter series, as well as many others such as The King of Fighters, Marvel vs.
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Simply how much Mouse DPI Do i require?
Best Wireless Keyboard and Mouse
You may be asking yourself, how very much mouse DPI do I need? Generally there are many considerations, from ergonomics to RGB lighting, and mouse DPI is just one of these people. To help a person decide on the right mouse to your requirements, in this article are a several tips. Keep in mind that large DPI mouse will be very sensitive and is a bit difficult to get used to. On the other hand, the most crucial consideration when getting a mouse is the DPI.
DPI stands for Spots Per Inch, and the higher the particular DPI, the greater. That means that an individual will need much less effort to go the particular mouse pointer upon your screen. For example , a mouse together with 1600 DPI will certainly move your pointer by an unbelievable 1600 pixels throughout your screen. Some sort of higher DPI number is better regarding gaming and various other precision tasks, but you should still choose a computer mouse that has a high enough DPI.
Although a better DPI mouse is definitely generally better with regard to gaming, you could even now use a lower DPI mouse sometimes. A high DOTS PER INCH mouse will assist you move your current cursor in smaller movements, but when you are employing it for sniper weapons, a lower DOTS PER INCH mouse will allow you move your own mouse slowly throughout the mouse pad. You can in addition use a mouse button with a decrease DPI when performing games that need quick movement.
Moreover, a computer mouse with adjustable DPI will assist you to customize its habits. You can select between high and low DPI to fit your preferences. If an individual are looking with regard to sensitivity and reliability, you should select a mouse along with a low DPI. The minimum DOTS PER INCH level should always be the same as typically the horizontal resolution involving your display. The ultimate way to choose the best DPI level regarding your mouse is to use a mouse that matches your display's resolution.
As previously described, DPI refers to be able to the dots for every inch. A increased DPI will move your cursor quicker per inch. Even so, a lower DPI is going to allow you to aim and handle your cursor carefully. Generally, a DOTS PER INCH setting of close to 6400 is good for gaming purposes. It is certainly not an universal standard, so experimentation is important. You can use an online calculator to get a baseline DPI range.
As previously pointed out, the DPI environment on the mouse is linked to its sensitivity. Higher DPI signifies a mouse that moves a cursor faster and can feel more sensitive. On the other hand, sensitivity depends upon what variety of mouse you have, so you ought to first really know what a person need. A straight forward office mouse will have two switches, while a dedicated game playing mouse will have 4 to eight control keys. If you would like your mouse to be able to be sensitive, look at whether you play games with low resolutions or high resolution displays.
When choosing a gaming mouse, need not afraid to be able to experiment with diverse DPI settings. While most gaming mouse has got DPIs ranging by 3200 to 16000, higher DPI versions could possibly be too sensitive to your taste. Try out a few game titles to see which in turn combination will function right for you. However, avoid overload. Don't overlook that high DPI mouse have a lot more advantages than cons.
DPI stands regarding Counts Per Inch. The number refers to the sensitivity of the particular mouse. Higher DPI means more tenderness and can find smaller movements. Individuals who want to carry out games that want great DPI should goal for a computer mouse with a high DPI. It is important to take note that a higher DPI means that it really is easier to handle the cursor. Generally there are some various other factors to remember if buying a gambling mouse.
The polling rate is an additional factor to take into account when buying the mouse. High polling rates are not always necessary, while they use more CPU resources, therefore they may not be necessary. Even so, high polling prices don't pose virtually any issues on modern day hardware. Yet , when you are searching for an ultra-high DPI mouse, you will be better off using one which is a decrease DPI. Besides, the speed of the mouse will certainly depend on precisely what you need that for.
It is usually also vital that you check out the horizontal resolution of the mouse button. Even the simplest mouse is built with a DPI of 2400 to 3200, which is enough for gaming. Even so, you should not really be too bothered about this minimal resolution. An increased DPI mouse can considerably increase the velocity of the cursor when you are moving this around. Additionally it is significant to keep within mind that the particular DPI is certainly not life or dying.
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Can’t pull the wool over my eyes, In The Flesh! I know a TOS sickbay body function panel when I see one
#in the flesh#Star Trek#tos#if you look close enough you can see the mouse cursor#one time I was watching TNG? VOY? and there was a visible mouse cursor on someone’s screen#gotta love it
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| And Me? |
Alex Quackity x Reader, Oneshot!
Word Count: 2262
Warnings: None! Just some curse words.
Summary: Seeing how much time you've been spending with Bad recently just doesn't sit well with Quackity, and he's going to make sure your attention is returned back to where it belongs. With him.
You had been messing around with what was coined the "Feral Boys" on a Saturday afternoon. Your takeout order was placed on your desk, neglected by the loud clicking and tapping of your keyboard. You all had been throwing around random stream ideas, which proceeded to be bashed by everyone.
"Guys," Dream groaned, frustration clear in his tone yet there was still that softness that let everyone know he wasn't actually mad, "we've been on call for 2 hours and still have no stream ideas we like."
"Maybe if Sapnap didn't complain about everything." Karl quickly quipped in, the grin that was probably plastered onto his face was visible to you even with it just being voice chat.
Sapnap clapped back just as quickly, a little more edge to his words but just the right amount of teasing too.
"Yeah? Nothing works with your schedule. We gotta fit these ideas in with your Mr. Beast-filled schedule."
Quackity let out a laugh that made you roll your eyes yet smile fondly as you finally turned to look at your food, taking a bite as the call jumped right back into their previous banter, a helpless Dream trying to regain control and get everyone to work together.
It served as background noise as you quietly ate your food, inputting or agreeing with someone here and there, your stomach grateful to finally be getting some food. You'd been too busy earlier, and now you had the chance to eat and relax on call with friends. No actual streaming or anything, but still with the burden of coming up with new and fun stream ideas.
As you took yet another bite, your gaze fell onto your phone as the screen lit up, a notification coming through. You set your food down and grabbed the device, clicking on it and smiling once you saw it was a message from Bad.
Unlike whatever mess this call was, you had scheduled to record a video with Bad, and you assumed this message was to confirm that he was now available to film. After quickly reading it, your assumptions were proven right.
"Hey, Bad just texted. I'm gonna head out. Try not to think too hard while I'm gone, okay?" You said as you grabbed ahold of your mouse again, cursor going towards the disconnect button.
There was a mix of 'Bye!' and 'You think of some too, then!' and Sapnap's backhanded remarks that told you he would indeed miss you. You smiled, about to click disconnect before he spoke up.
"Bad? What are you recording with Bad?" The question caught you off guard, not because it came from Quackity but because no one had asked.
"Oh, well, just for a youtube video.. and I promised him we'd chat since I miss him." You admitted, cursor dancing across the screen as you waited for a response, if there was to be any.
"How come we didn't get invited?" Quackity asked, voice a mix of feigned hurt and disbelief of being 'left out'.
You playfully rolled your eyes, noticing a message come in from Bad yet again asking if he could call now. "You spend enough time with Bad as it is. Get in line, right now its MY turn. Now bye!! Seriously." You chuckled, hearing the start of a protest before disconnecting from the call and moving your cursor onto Bad's chat, quickly pressing the call button and waiting to hear his sweet voice ringing through your headphones.
—
As the small ping notified everyone else in the call that you had disconnected, Quackity let out a small huff, followed by George's small laugh.
"What was that?"
"What was what?" Quackity replied with a tired tone, fingers lazily typing up some email he had been procrastinating on.
"Was that jealously I smelled, Big Q?" Karl teased, letting out a laugh that was so contagious, eliciting laughs from the whole call, even Quackity couldn't help but laugh before letting out another noise of disapproval.
"No, what the fuck? It's just they didn't even contribute any ideas. Just sat and argued with us, and then left to go hang out with Bad." He reasoned, it was a half truth. It didn't bother Quackity at all that you'd been 'unproductive', he enjoyed your company so much and these past two hours had left him with a tummy ache from laughing too hard.
What he hadn't enjoyed was you dropping everything to go on a call with Bad.
It didn't actually bother him, it was part of the bit they had going on, where he was a Skeppy 2.0 and had to fight the other Skeppy copies, in this case YOU, for Bad's attention.
..
Right?
He could feel a migraine coming through trying to understand this new emotion settling in his chest.
Sapnap let out an amused laugh, mumbling a 'sure' but swiftly changing topics in order to not start yet another argument.
—
It had been about 4 days since the call with the 'Feral Boys' and the recording with Bad. Since then, everything had ran smoothly and you'd been extra productive, focused on getting the video edited and posted as soon as possible.
Currently, you were ringing Bad as he streamed on the server, wanting to make a quick appearance and also just bug him for a bit since you missed him.
Since it was a rather chill stream, Bad didn't fight away your affection, instead encouraging that you hop on the server and play with him for a bit. You couldn't say no to that, how could you?
Before you knew it, you were off your bed and on your chair, in front of your computer as the Minecraft loading screen lit up your facial features and Bad told chat and you about an event that took place this weekend while he was out shopping.
The hushed laughs and sweet stories being shared were soon interrupted by Bad letting out an annoyed huff. "Quackity is spamming me to let him join the call. Is that okay, Y/N?"
You nodded, letting out a hum of approval as you walked towards Bad's avatar that was currently standing still since Bad tabbed out. "Of course."
"Okay, Quackity I'm live, what do you want?" Bad warned before tabbing back onto minecraft.
"Why are you guys calling without me?" There it was, the same tone he had 4 days ago when he was 'upset' he got left out. Your eyes looked at the small message on the bottom left of the screen that let everyone know Quackity had joined the server.
"Because.. whats wrong with it?" Bad asked, confused, before happily following that up, "I was actually telling them about my trip to the store over the weekend."
"Yeah, he was," you mused, "before you rudely interrupted." You assumed he was here for a bit, the Skeppy 2.0s fighting for Bad's love and affection, bothering Bad for a bit before letting the stream go back to being a relaxing, chill stream.
"Yeah? Well I want to hear the story too. You'll tell me too, right Bad?" He returned, the joking tone in his voice confirmed your assumptions. This was a bit.
Bad let out an exasperated sigh. These bits were never planned beforehand, they just happened and unfortunately for Bad it was happening during his chill stream. "What are you two going to fight about now?"
"I have one. Why were you guys recording without me? Hm?" The chat exploded with confusion and excitement for a new video from either Bad or you, possible video ideas being thrown around in chat.
"Because." You deadpan, "If you can do it, so can I."
"That's different." He says every single syllable with precision, as if he is preaching something of upmost importance. "You two spend way too much time together now."
Bad says something to try and interfere the banter he knows is about to take place, chat is going crazy about the Skeppy 2.0s fighting for Bad's love. "So much for a chill stream." He mumbles to chat as his character watches you and Quackity hitting each other. With your fists, since it was deemed a 'fair fight' by both.
After about 3 hours, Bad decided he'd had enough and began saying goodbye to chat. There was a content smile on your lips as you made your character crouch beside Bad's, letting out a small and content "Bye chat!". Quackity had stayed the 3 hours as well, and was yelling his own goodbyes. As soon as the stream ended, Bad let out a small laugh.
"Sometimes you two are just too much." He said, the smile evident in his voice. "Do you guys enjoy bothering me that much?"
"Aw c'mon, Bad. You know we love you tons. And you know damn well you enjoy it too." Quackity teased, which earned yet another exasperated sigh from Bad.
"Okay, well I'm heading to bed.. I'm exhausted. Thank you two, for joining me tonight.. I had fun." He said softly, which automatically made a frown appear on your lips.
"Of course, Bad! I had fun too. Thanks for letting us join. I'll call you tomorrow, yeah?" You offered, to which he hummed. There was a few more goodbyes exchanged before the ping notified you both Bad was gone.
There was silence for a bit as you finally got out of the server and shut minecraft off, wanting to rest your eyes for a bit. Maybe even head to bed yourself.
"You'll call him tomorrow, huh?"
Your eyes closed and you leaned your head back against your chair.
"Bit's over, Quackity." You chuckled, not up for yet another banter about who deserved Bad's love more.
"When's the last time we called? Now it's just Bad this, Bad that."
Your eyes opened, your eyebrows furrowed as you stared at his little profile picture that had its green ring fading around it.
"What?" You said in pure disbelief.
"You heard me." He mumbled. "Video recordings, streams, calls. And me? Nothing. Not one crumb."
"What about you?" You teased, amusement growing as you realized the past 3 hours had not been about Bad, at least not entirely.
"Don't make me actually say it." He complained, which only helped make the smile on your face grow.
"Use your words, Alex. I can't read minds." You gently bit at your bottom lip in anticipation, and in poor attempt to hold back the laugh that was threatening to escape.
"Where's my calls? My recordings. You can't just randomly strip away all your attention from me and dump it on Bad."
"I didn't even do that." You protested, before letting the laugh escape your lips. "Plus, you should be greedy over Bad's attention, not mine."
"Maybe it's not for a bit, asshole? Did you think of that?" He asked sarcastically, earning a scoff from you.
"So you want my attention yet you're going to proceed to call me an asshole?"
"Yes." He breathed out.
"You didn't deny it." You hummed in slight approval. Usually he'd shy away from showing any actual clinginess or affection, and yet here he was, declaring with his whole chest that he wanted attention.
"Because I'm serious. Do you think this is a joke? Is that what I am to you?" He said dramatically, to which you shook your head.
"Of course not." You hummed before smiling at the absurdity of this conversation.
Maybe it was the lack of sleep finally catching up to you and now you were imagining things.
"So? Does this mean I'm getting daily calls, recording videos with you, and streaming together whenever? Even on the alt?"
"Now you're just asking for too much."
"It's the bare minimum you can do for treating me so poorly and neglecting your responsibilities."
"Neglecting my responsibilities?" You repeated in disbelief.
"Yes." He declared. "Ignoring me for Bad is neglecting your responsibilities. A.K.A. me."
"I wasn't ignoring you, Alex." You tried to reason, though he would not listen to any reasoning.
"Yeah, yeah. So what? Do we have a deal?"
You paused and thought about what he was asking for. It really wasn't much, and he was most likely joking, but it was very endearing to see him ask for attention so openly. Especially from you.
"Did you miss me, Alex? While I was off on calls with Bad, talking about who knows what until who knows what time.. were you missing me? Thinking about me?" There was a teasing tone to your voice, but you also genuinely wanted to know.
It was clear that it caught him offguard.
"I mean.. yeah– what do you want me to say? No, fuck you. I didn't miss you at all. That's why I'm on call with you whining and bitching about how you don't give me enough attention and I want more. Specifically from you, please."
His last few words came out more hushed than the rest, and it brought a smile onto your face.
"Okay."
"Okay-?"
"You don't have to go on.. I'll give you the attention you want so badly from me." You said, the grin on your face growing more at the sound of happiness he let out.
"I guess directly asking for stuff isn't too bad, hm? I'll have to give props to Karl later for the advice."
You raised your eyebrows in amusement. "You asked Karl for advice on how to get my attention-?"
He let out a small groan, "Let's not talk about this with anyone, yeah? Just give me my attention and shh."
You hummed, "Whatever you say, Alex."
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You Live In Sweatpants And Hoodies (GeorgeNotFound)
MASTERLIST
pairing : georgenotfound / george x influencer!reader.
summary : george and your fans realize that under all the sweaters, you have a body.
a/n : if you are wondering what dress i was talking about, search up jennie short black dress :)
before social media, you studied law and got a degree in it but ended up not using it due to your social media career sky rocketing.
but you never thought studying was a waste, that could be your backup, after all. social media doesn’t last forever. and you were ready to accept any difficulties since you knew you had plan b.
you, till this day, could not describe what you do on social media. it started with tiktok. everything nowadays started with tiktok. but you were one of the first people who was on it.
and then tiktokers would make their way onto youtube to sustain their “career” and grow. so that’s what you did. you never abandoned that app, though. especially not now, everyone on that app is seriously hilarious.
your content on youtube was all over the place. once, for a video, you talked to weird men on omegle and tinder. another time, you would try different aesthetics on yourself.
but here’s the catch, you’ve never really worn revealing clothes. your mum had always told you to never deprive yourself from what she says “fun young girl things” which is dressing up, or down, in her say and go have fun with your friends.
but since the pandemic hit, you have had no where to go anyways, and you never really liked to show off your body. it’s not that you felt uncomfortable doing it, it’s just that you’ve never had the reason to.
you also didn’t grow up girly. you hated dresses, especially short and tight dresses. and you weren’t a fan of wearing shorts either. you always opted to go comfy.
whenever you post a tiktok, you always wore your signature hoodie and sweatpants that were clearly sizes too big for you. but you liked it, it’s comfortable to sleep in.
and whenever you had to pan down to show your outfits on youtube, you were always caught wearing jeans and a baggy shirt, just styled differently, according to the aesthetic of the video you were filming for.
you heard your phone ring from the couch. you picked it up, knowing who it was anyways. “morning, cutie.” you stared.
“morning b.” george greets you, hair everywhere, clearly just woken up.
you and george met on tiktok, just like all good friends do. he had duetted a tiktok of yours and you found him hilarious. you quickly followed him on every single social media platform he was in. you even set an alarm in case he ever streams and you’re asleep.
you two are close. some would say you two are dating, but you two haven’t figured it out yet. you two didn’t really want to disclose it anyways, you two knew your not so secret feelings for each other, anyways.
remember when he called you ‘b’? yeah that stands for ‘bub’. he thought it would be cute for him to have a different nickname than the usual “baby” or “babe”.
you two actually live very near each other, making it way easier as a couple, but since england was put into a quarantine order, you two didn’t meet often.
some would probably ask why you’d have to set an alarm when he streams when you two clearly are in the same timezone? well, that boy had no sense of time and a terrible sleeping schedule. it amazed you at how early he got up today.
that facetime call lasted about half an hour before you told him you needed to stream on twitch today, to which he responded to you that he’s watch it later.
today, you had a surprise. for the world. you can’t believe you even thought about this but it was about time you showed off to the world what assets you’ve been blessed with.
speaking of showing off. no, you weren’t a particularly insecure person, you were just comfortable in the clothes you’re in. but celebrating the long time you’ve been on social media, and it being your birthday, you thought it might be fitting.
george and you agreed to not make anything special about your birthday. you hated parties and large gatherings, and since you were still in the middle of a pandemic, you used that as an excuse to not go out.
you spent the longest time searching for a good enough outfit for this day. and you found it. you decided to pick a pretty simple dress, a black short dress that went to your mid thigh, that showed off your waist, spaghetti strapped and a little backless.
you walked out the shower, your robe on as you walked to your bathroom counters to dry your hair. you didn’t really bother to style it, just leaving you straight long hair down.
you put on the most basic white sneakers you could find to still make it casual, and you thought it went well together, anyways.
you finished you makeup and took a good look at yourself. you had been aware that you only wore baggy clothes, so this was a huge change. you twirled yourself, feeling confident.
you couldn’t wait for people to have heart attacks.
you sat on your gaming chair, getting ready to start your stream.
before you started your stream, you made sure you left your facecam turned off first.
you went live. chat was confused since this was the first time that you’re not on facecam. all they could see at the moment was the caption “IT’S MY BIRTHDAY!” that you typed on your notes app on your computer.
“hi, chat.” you said, to calm them down a little.
you heard your phone go off, a text notification. which you knew was george since he had a special notification ping on your phone.
it said “did you forget to turn on your cam?”
you laughed at that. “no, chat, i haven’t forgotten to turn on my facecam, just wait for a sec, please.”
you felt giddy, excited for the reactions.
instead of wearing your cute cat headphones, you wore your airpods instead to get the whole look going.
you let out a sigh before moving your mouse cursor to linger on the ‘start recording camera’ button. you clicked on it, before moving your chair back to fully say hi to your chat.
you brought your hands up to wave to the camera. you tilted your head slightly. “soooo, it’s my birthday.” you said.
chat was going crazy so you stopped reading them so you wouldn’t get a headache. the donations went crazy too, but you tried your best to read them all.
you thanked the people who subscribed to you or gifted you subs.
“360 of this dress? sure, i’ll give you a twirl.” you replied a dono.
you stood up, and rolled your gaming chair away so that they can see your whole outfit. you spun around once, quickly telling them where you got the dress from.
you tried to hold your foot on one hand, balancing yourself to show them that you could go casual in this dress too.
what you noticed was that, your phone hadn’t stopped beeping from a text notification, which belonged to the one and only georgenotfound.
and since maybe he noticed that you won’t check your phone, he sent a donation instead.
“WHAT THE FUCK.” the monotoned voice read out the donation, which was from george.
you facepalmed, knowing exactly what his reaction is like at home.
“I’M COMING OVER.” the voice said again. you laughed at his antics.
“see you then.” you replied, laughing, knowing he was joking around anyways.
-
GEORGE’S POV
she thinks i’m joking, isn’t she?
well, she gave me her spare key for a reason, and this would be the best reason.
i knew i wanted to come around anyways. just after her stream. i promised her no going out, but not no gifts and ordering in.
sneaky, i know.��
i had a plan brewing in my mind. to walk in her house as quietly as possible, to surprise her.
after seeing her in that dress, i don’t think i can stand our fans not knowing we aren’t dating.
i know, i haven’t really asked her out, but we kinda both agreed that there was no use, knowing each other’s feeling was good enough and that we didn’t need to do anything extravagant.
i don’t know what she’s tell her fans but i’m sure i hadn’t disclose our relationship. the fans shipped us, sure, but i don’t think i’ve ever said it out loud.
we knew we’d have to say it someday. so i thought, why not today? as i surprised her at her own house.
her fans watching her stream are tweeting at me like crazy. no one had seen her like that. she practically lives in sweats and hoodies, constantly.
the most fitting thing i’ve seen her wear is skinny jeans, but she would always wear a baggy top with it. people always say she drowns in her clothes, but i never complained, she looked good either ways.
but seeing her in that dress, damn. i needed to be there and hug her, kiss her. i couldn’t wait to see her in that dress, right in front of my eyes.
our observant fans or close friends have asked if she dresses the same at home, and my answer always stayed the same. that she lives in baggy clothes.
there are some creepy people out there who would ask that question in a sexual way. thinking i’ve seen her in less. but truthfully, i haven’t. we’re not pass that stage, and we prefer it this way.
what the fans see is what i see on the daily, too.
and no, me going to her house to see her more clearly in that dress doesn’t mean we’re doing anything. i just want to observe her beauty. see what she’s hid from me.
-
YOUR POV
chat was going crazy over george’s donation. but you still laughed it off. it’s all a joke anyways, him coming over.
he was coming over later, after noon, so he wouldn’t just drop everything to see you right now.
“geez. chill out, chat, george was joking.” you told them.
you sat on your gaming chair more comfortably as you started playing a couple rounds of among us with your fans. you told them not to cheat and watch your stream as they’re playing ad lucky you, they listened.
for some reason, your chat still kept blowing up with george comments. maybe they were still caught up on that comment he said earlier.
but you hadn’t thought that he’d be behind you the entire time, telling the chat to not make it obvious.
“happy birthday, b” you heard a very familiar voice from behind you.
you almost had a whiplash from how quick you turned your head to see who was behind you.
you stood up to hug him, almost falling to the floor, stumbling on your own feet.
with the way you ran to him, he almost fell to the floor. “you’re here, you’re here.” you kept repeating it to him, not believing that he actually came. you knew he’d come later, but not this early.
george moved you back gently to see your full outfit. you two were aware that the facecam is still on, and pointing to you two, seeing every move.
“come here.” he whispered to you before grabbing your waist, to kiss you.
you two took a little while enjoying each other’s company, still in front of everyone on twitch.
he moved you back a little, turning you to face your gaming monitors. “MY GIRLFRIEND, EVERYBODY. isn’t she so hot, oh my god.” he said to the stream.
you laughed at his stupid antics, covering your face with your hands as you blushed.
your chat didn’t stop talking about the interaction, not believing that their ship was finally sailing.
you played a couple more rounds of among us with them, george taking over sometime or making funny comments to entertain your chat while you played.
after the stream, george and you took time to enjoy the time alone, ordering in your favourite food and opening gifts that he bought you.
you forgot to mention that both of your twitter was blowing up too much that you had to mute it for a while. you knew that a lot had screenshot the cute moment.
you took note to screenshot some of the photos on twitter later.
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Washing Machine Heart Part 1. (Erik Killmonger x OC)
This is unedited so please have mercy on me in the notes 😭
Nahla knew she didn’t mean a thing to him. Next to being a mercenary, Erik was a player. He came and went as he pleased, spent his nights with more than one woman, and didn’t feel a single shred of regret whenever his girls would pour out their hearts to him.
Nahla knew she didn’t mean a single thing to him, yet she still somehow fell in love.
It was a painful realization. One that she came to during one of Erik’s many long term absences. It was another sleepless night for her and she was sitting in bed with her laptop open to her right and her keyboard directly in front of her. For the past week, the same melody had been on loop inside her head. A broken tune that conveyed so much sorrow that it nearly brought her to tears whenever she hummed it. Each day after she got home from work, she would add onto the melody bit by bit, putting in different instruments and sounds to create a beautiful symphony.
When it came time to write lyrics for the song, all she could envision was a tune about unrequited love. The same unrequited love that she had been feeling for a while.
It wasn’t until she put a name to that feeling when she finally realized how she truly felt about Erik.
She decided to try and keep things suppressed for a while, hoping that her childish feelings of romance would disappear after a few days.
They didn’t.
When Erik returned a few weeks later, she didn’t, know how to act. The man made it known that he was not committed to anybody, and Nahla was no exception. On the rare occasion Nahla would catch a glimpse of him on social media, she would see him surrounded by women who looked as if they could be models. Women who were leagues ahead of her. The photos never failed to resurrect her insecurities. They made her question why Erik even bothered to give her the time of day. Yet those insecurities melted away whenever he came to visit her.
Flash forward to the present, and Nahla found herself laying next to Erik’s naked frame in her bed. The faint sound of her washing machine echoed throughout the house, giving a sort of rhythmic banging as her shoes tussled around inside. The night was still fairly young, having only been a few minutes past seven, but all of the plans that Nahla had for that evening were discarded the moment Erik showed up on her doorstep.
It didn’t take much for his words to lull her into bed and for his lips on hers to enrapture her. His low, smooth voice was like music to her ears, and her moans being music to his. Each praise that left his lips was like a toxic lullaby. Nahla knew that he had repeated the same words to dozens of women in the past, yet in the moment, they made her feel as if she were the only woman in the world.
“You feel so good around me baby…”
“You don’t know how much I missed this pussy.”
“Say my name so everybody know who’s fuckin’ you right.”
Thinking back to his words sent shivers down her spine. She was wide awake, restless and too excited to fall asleep. It was rare for Erik to stay after having sex, let alone fall asleep before her, but her inner turmoil prevented her from falling asleep.
She turned back to look over at Erik, taking in every aspect of his being as if it were the last time she would see him again. No matter how many times she laid eyes on him, she would never be able to find the words to describe how beautiful he was. He had a smile that could light up a room and warm eyes that made her heart flutter each time she looked into them. It often left her wondering why exactly he even entertained the thought of her when he was way out of her league.
A heavy sigh left Nahla’s lips and she threw the covers off the lower half of her body. She looked back at Erik one last time while putting on her robe, making sure that he stayed asleep. Slowly and quietly, she crept out of the room and down the hall to her makeshift studio, closing the door behind her and turning on the lights. She used her studio as an escape from both the real world and her own mind, and right then she needed an escape from both. Turning on her equipment and opening up her laptop, she opened up the file that held her latest project. The one that helped her come to her realization in the first place. She made sure the speakers were low as to not wake Erik up and pressed play, listening to her voice blend with the gentle melody.
She had only written a few lines so far and could feel the next verse just on the tip of her tongue, but lyricism had never really been her strong suit. Muttering random words under her breath, she opened up the notes section on GarageBand and began writing down whatever sounded nice, replacing and adding words where she deemed fit.
“Might as well give it a go,” she sighed, getting up from her chair and walking over to the small corner where her mic and the rest of her recording equipment was set up. She pressed record on an empty track and began singing the second verse, her voice coming out soft and almost broken in contrast to her usual strong, belty tone. She was tired, both physically and emotionally, but she couldn’t walk back to that room. Not with him still laying asleep in her bed as if the two of them were a couple.
After a few more takes, she had finally gotten her voice warmed up enough to where it didn’t sound completely like shit and she walked over to her work station to edit the track on top the music.
With her mind now completely engulfed in her music, she didn’t noticed the sound of her toilet flushing or her bathroom sink running down the hall. She didn’t notice the sound of footsteps leading to her studio and her door opening slightly.
It wasn’t until the feeling of a hand snaking its way around her neck drew her from her work as she jumped in her seat while clutching her chest in panic.
“Whatchu scared for? It’s just me,” Erik muttered, his voice still laced with drowsiness. “What are you doing up? Any other day you’d be knocked out.” His fingers gently squeezed at her neck and he leaned down to plant a kiss on the top of her head. It was weirdly intimate of him.
“I couldn’t sleep so I decided to work on something.” Nahla spun her seat around to face him. He had on a pair of low hanging shorts. She recognized them as being one of the pairs she bought for him whenever he decided to stay over. She mentally scoffed at the thought; buying clothes for a man who she wasn’t even in a relationship with.
“You’re not leaving?” She asked. It had just dawned on her that, miraculously, Erik was still there.
“Nah. I haven’t seen you in a while so I figured I’d stay for a little bit.”
The sentiment made her heart flutter but she quickly grounded herself back to reality. She couldn’t afford to get her hopes up.
“So, what are you working on?” He asked, his arms folded across his chest as he looked past her and at the open editing software on her computer.
“Oh. Well I had a melody that was stuck in my head for a while so I put it down and write lyrics. I lowkey wanna find a mini orchestra to record it though.”
“Well can I hear it?” He suggested.
Nahla’s eyes widened and her heart skipped a beat. Despite knowing each other for the better part of two years now, this was the most he had ever expressed genuine interest in her music.
“U-Uhh, I’m not sure… I get really sensitive about my stuff. Plus it’s not what you’d expect it to be,” she said, swirling her chair back around to face her work station as she hesitantly placed her hand on the mouse and moved the cursor over the “play” button. After taking a deep breath, she played the song and closed her eyes as she waited for it to be over. Throughout the entirety of what little she had to play, Erik was silent, giving no response, comment, or critiques. When it was over, she reluctantly turned around to face him.
“So? What do you think?”
“Yeah, I can definitely hear an orchestra going behind that. Maybe start off with piano first, then bring in strings or some shit during the hook,” he suggested, walking over to the other chair in the corner of her studio and sitting down.
“Okay. Thanks.”
For about an hour or two, the two of them stayed up in her studio talking about random things while sharing a blunt together. They eventually migrated back to the bedroom and made their way beneath the covers together, Nahla’s body molding perfectly into Erik’s as they cuddled.
“Nah, I’m deadass. I thought I had locked his cage, but he always finds a way to get out,” Nahla giggled, referring to her pet chameleon who always managed to get out of his cage. “I remember a few day ago I had just woken up and went into the kitchen to get some juice and I see him inside the sink just sitting there. Then he have the nerve to look up at me like ‘what are you doing here?’ No sir, what are you doing here.”
Erik laughed softly while shaking his head. “Nah, I don’t think I could handle an animal just freely roaming my shit like that.”
“You get used to it after a while. I was low-key thinking about getting a snake too, but I gotta figure out where to put the tank.”
“Oh hell nah. If you get a snake, I’m not coming by anymore.”
“What?! You used to be a whole Navy Seal and you’re scared of snakes, E?” She asked, a bit surprised that he even shared that information with her.
“Girl, I don’t know how you can even stand them things,” he mumbled, “slithering around and shit. What if it gets out when you’re sleep and starts choking you?”
“Then we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it,” she giggled, earning an eye roll from Erik.
Though it didn’t seem possible, she pressed herself against Erik even harder, somehow managing to get even closer to him. Resting her head in the crook of his neck, she had a perfect view of the many scars and keloids that littered his body. She could tell some of them are new. Whether or not they were accidental or self inflicted, she didn’t want to know.
It was times like these where Nahla wished that her outlandish fantasies of romance weren’t fantasies at all. Having never been in a real relationship before, she constantly longed to be loved by someone in a romantic sense. Though she knew that Erik probably never thought of her as more than a fuck buddy, it was nice to feel his warmth underneath her. Even if it was an illusion, it was nice to imagine him as her lover while he was holding her close.
“What’s on your mind?” He pried, letting out a deep sigh before closing his eyes and relaxing his muscles.
“Where do you go when you disappear?” She partially lied. Even though that wasn’t what truly was on her mind, it was still a question that lingered over her head for a while.
“That, I can’t tell you ma. At least not right now.”
She wasn’t satisfied with how curt his reply was. Sitting up, she supported her head with her hand, her elbow buried into the pillow beside his head as she peered down at him.
“You can tell me,” she pried. A childish grin spread across her face. “If it’s something illegal I promise I won’t tell.”
Erik peaked one up up at her, a smile of his own taking over his featured. He pushed his hands behind his head and stared up at the ceiling. “Mm… Maybe I could tell you a little bit. I don’t even know where to begin though without you thinkin’ I’m crazy.”
“I won’t think you’re crazy.”
“You say that now.” There was a pregnant pause, and then, in the most serious tone ever, he said, “I’m apart of African royalty.”
“So there’s this country in Africa called Wakanda. At first glance, it seems like a small lil third world country, but in reality, they’re the most advanced civilization on the planet. They got this metal called Vibranium that allows them to all sorts of things, but they keep it hidden from the rest of the world.”
“How? And if they kept it hidden from the world, then how do you know about it?”
“They have a dome that surrounds the entire country. It’s practically impenetrable. And the only reason I know is because my father was the prince. He was sent here on an undercover mission in America but quickly saw how shitty thing were here, so he wanted to change it. “
“Wait, your father is the prince of an African country?” Nahla couldn’t believe her ears. Despite being secretive and mysterious, she knew that Erik wasn’t one to lie. After all, what could he possibly gain from lying about something as far fetched as this?
“Was. He was killed before he could enact any change; by his own brother no less.”
She could hear a pain and vulnerability in his voice that she’d never heard before. Now she definitely knew that he wasn’t lying.
Erik’s face had turned to the side in a fruitless attempt to hide the tears that welled up in his eyes. He’d never brought up his family or much of his life before he met her in a conversation, and now she could see why.
Hesitantly, Nahla reached up to wipe away the tears that left his eyes. “So you plan on going back and getting revenge?” She pondered. It would make sense why he’d want to stay under the radar, having no social media accounts, no permanent phone number, and constantly disappearing for months at a time. If he wanted to infiltrate an entire hidden country, then he’d have to be the closest thing to a ghost a person could be.
“It’s on the list,” he replied, sitting up in bed while resting back against the headboard. “But, my main goal is to change the world. Wakanda has technology and weapons that people can’t even begin fathom. If our people were able to get their hands on that kind of fire power, we wouldn’t have to worry about the White man oppressing us any longer.”
The sadness that was once present in his eyes had long disappeared, instead being replaced with a burning passion. It filled her with joy to see him get passionate about something, but it also put her on edge. Nahla knew what his plan implied, and she didn’t put it past him to sacrifice countless lives in order to see his vision come to life.
Staying silent, she simply nodded, too afraid that she’d say the wrong thing if she opened her mouth. Tearing her gaze away from the man, she began contemplating on everything she had been thinking about prior to his arrival. Her feelings for him were still unwavering, but now she was starting to ponder on whether or not being with him was a wise decision. It didn’t take being a genius to know that Erik’s path was a set one. He was a determined, goal-driven man, and when his mind was made up, there was no convincing him to go back on his decision.
If she followed him down that path, she wouldn’t be able to turn back.
“Do I scare you?”
Nahla looked back up only to be met with obsidian eyes boring straight into her deep brown ones. His question threw her for a loop, no doubt, considering how Erik was never one to be considerate of other people’s feelings.
“H-Huh? What do you mean?” She knew exactly what he meant.
“That look in your eyes… You’re scared of something. What is it?” He demanded in an eerily calm manner.
Attempting to spare his feelings would be a futile decision; Erik read people like his favorite novel. Yet, for some reason, Nahla had no control over the words that left her mouth.
She almost never did when she was around him.
“Nothing. I just get a bit spooked in the dark,” she chuckled.
Erik simply blinked at her, a look of uncertainty and doubt dancing around in his eye before he shrugged it off and laid back down in the bed, facing her completely.
“You should get some rest. Goodnight,” he said softly, his eyes never leaving her.
Upon hearing his words, Nahla felt an immense tiredness wash over her as if he casted a sleeping spell over her. She glanced over at the clock and noticed how it was nearly 4 AM. She had only three hours before she needed to get up and get ready for work.
She was tired, but fear kept plaguing her mind. A fear that he wouldn’t be there when she woke up. Or, even worse, a fear that she had dreamt the entire night.
“Don’t worry. I’ll be here when you wake up,” he whispered.
Nahla wanted to believe him, so she did, closing her eyes and drifting off to sleep.
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and they were roommates.
✘ k.k x reader
summary: you’re 10 more pulls from pity and your roommate kenma might just be the only way to get xiao.
wc: 1.7k
✘ fluff; no warnings
✘ an: hi! this is my very first post on tumblr! i hope you enjoy ^-^ asks are open!
masterlist
"80," you whined as you kicked open the door to kenma's room. it was midnight and you had still yet to sleep as you consumed cult-like rituals. you didn't believe in sacrifices, but if you had to throw your diluc of the highest mountain in liyue...so be it.
you wanted.... no. you needed xiao. you had saved up so many primogems, even as ayaka's banner came and went. and it took every single bit of self-control to not pull on yoimiya's banner, especially with the arrival of the cute claymore wielding chibi, Sayu. but if all this pain meant you could have xiao in your hands...it was worth it.
you had begun wishing late at night, at exactly 11:11. it wasn't a really important time, but you'd take any luck you could get. you would have xiao in your party even if it meant swiping money from your non-existent bank account. but...you should have known from your previous summons that the power of god and anime was not on your side. it was terrifying as you wasted 1600 primogems. your heart stopped as the shooting star streaked across your screen, only to fade into a bland colour of purple. but even if you did get a gold star, you would have to fight genshin's worst enemy of all.
the 50/50.
many have tried fighting this enemy, coming out of the fight with a qiqi or a jean. not that you would mind any of them. you were lacking five stars anyway. but... you just wanted xiao. you loved xiao. you loved his design all the way down to his lore. you had farmed everything for him. his ascension materials, exp books, mora.... you had even suffered months in the viridescent domain and even gotten a couple good pieces.
your eyes sullenly looked at the last 1600 primogems.
your last ten pull.
you gulped, closing your eyes as you pulled one last time. you didn't stay on the screen long enough to see the colour change. you pressed skip and waited, scrolling through the ten objects.
but alas.
no five star.
it hit you like a truck as you went back to the wishing screen only to see the 0 primogems mocking you. you scowled at the banner, at the xiao you would never have.
you groaned as you turned off your laptop, tucking your head in your knees.
you really thought you would get him and it's not like you had any money to spend.
the house was quiet the only sounds were coming from a closed-door a mere feet in front of you.
your eyes sparkled.
surely, kenma wouldn't mind....right?
your roommate was a bit introverted, opting to stay huddled in his cozy room. he rarely came out even for dinner. not that you really complained. it was an awkward situation in the first place. he didn't want a roommate or express that he deesired one, and yet here you were. he never really complained either, even seeming to enjoy your presence sometimes. although you had to admit, it was difficult to have a real conversation with the pudding-haired man. but the few conversations you had with him were pleasant and calming.
you took a deep breath as you made your way to his room. you didn't know how to enter. sure, the knocking was a good idea, as it showed respect. but maybe that would be too formal with someone you had lived almost a year with.
you kicked open the room, ignoring the small screech that came from the lean, slouching figure.
"y/n, hello." his mouth gripped into an odd smile as his eyes darted from his pc screen to you, clad in only a thin shirt and shorts.
"hi, kenma, I have a favour—"
"uh, wait a moment." something like a blush glazed over his cheeks as he looked back to the screen. "no chat, that's not— chat. no."
confusion must have shown all over your face as kenma whirred towards you in his chair.
"i'm streaming," he rubbed his neck awkwardly as if he had just proclaimed something embarrassing.
"oh," you chuckled, stepping from one foot to another, "i'll just leave—"
"no." he stopped you abruptly, almost getting out of his chair, pausing at your firm figure.
"chat," he pointed towards his pc, "wants to uh... meet you?"
you couldn't tell if he was asking for your permission or giving you an order but you chuckled softly before walking towards him. it was hard to not let your blush show was you took him in, sleep-deprived eyes and all. his shirt slightly rode up near his hips, the small slip of lean muscles full-on display. the sweatpants clutched at his waist, loosely covering his legs. his arms were fidgeting, small flexes of his biceps catching your eye. you nervously chuckled as you stood behind his chair, arms hovering over the top of his head.
"wait," kenma rose, skittering over to his bed to get an oversized crimson hoodie, "put this on."
you nodded embarrassingly before slipping on his hoodie, moaning slightly at the warmth that seeped into your arms. he motioned for you to sit on the chair, to which you furiously shook your head.
"no, n-no, I'll uh just...stand," you muttered. kenma rolled his eyes, pushing you towards the chair. it was a side of him you had never seen. though he kept his slightly awkward facade, his eyes glimmered with a slight slyness. it was utterly beautiful. the dark circles under his golden eyes seemed to disappear as he gave a smile to the stream. you blushed at the compliments and comments that rushed in the chat.
she's so pretty?!?!?!?!?!
omigosh please she's blushing it's so groineorignerrg
are you single????????????
are you and kenma dating :0
it was the last question that caught your eye, your heart beating uncontrollably.
"i- uh, um no, see—"
"chat calm down," he rolled his eyes, but the teasing glint still remained. the smirk that wavering on his mouth grew into a full-blown smile as you groaned into the warm soft texture of the hoodie.
"this is y/n," he smiled towards, "my roommate."
"this is...chat," he motioned to a screen filled with random emojis of cats.
"hi," you murmured as you shyly looked away from the camera.
"hmm," kenma hummed, "what were you here for?"
"oh," it wasn't till then you remembered why you were in his room.
"i wished today," you sadly said, a monotone tone engulfing your still shy voice.
"oh yeah, the xiao banner is today isn't it."
you nodded, looking down at the ground.
"did you get him?"
you silently stared at your hands covered with the long sleeves of the crimson hoodie.
"did you lose the 50/50," he asked, patting your head softly. you felt like a cat, as you leaned into his soft touch.
"i didn't have even have enough wishes to pity," you pouted, "i'm stuck at 80."
"and you came to ask for more?" he couldn't hide the teasing smile that peeked onto his mouth, the corners of his lips turning up into a humour-filled smile.
you only pouted, grumbling about the lack of luck you seemed to have.
"well," he looked towards the stream and the flurries of comments that asked him to get you xiao, "how about this."
he reached over your head, muting himself. his mouth hovered over your ear his warm breath wafting over your neck.
"turn off the camera," he whispered. your fingers trembled as you slowly turned off the camera. he leaned back, his forearm laying on the crown of the chair. you were about to talk, random words popping in your head as you opened your mouth.
you yelped as kenma suddenly whirled the chair around, the loud screeches of the chair echoing in the otherwise silent room.
"hi?" your voice was no louder than a whisper as you looked into the intense gold of kenma's eyes. he loomed over you, loose strands of hair tickled your nose.
"hmm," was all he said as he came closer, one leg right beside yours and the other anchoring himself to the ground. his arms laid right next to your hunched-up shoulders, trapping you. and though at this moment you ought to be frightened, you couldn't help the strange excitement that bubbled in your stomach.
he came closer, lips only a finger width away from your own. you closed your eyes, waiting for the soft impact it seemed you desired.
you only opened your eyes when kenma let out a soft laugh.
"your face," he wheezed slightly. you threw him an incredulous look, a scowl growing on your face. you swore as you threw your hands around his neck, pulling him in for a slight impact.
your lips moulded together, it was nice. softness and the taste of apples lingered on your tongue, on your lips as he slowly moved away.
it was your turn to laugh. a dark red blush had smacked itself on his cheeks, the colour trailing down his neck. he stuttered as he averted his gaze from your slightly swollen lips.
"your face," you mocked, rolling your eyes. "can i get xiao now."
he looked at your face as if he could see the invisible heat that rolled of your skin. you pouted, eyebrows pinched together. kenma moved back, hand covering the blush that continued to burn his skin.
"yes," he muttered as you pushed you towards the computer, motioning for you to log into your account. he refused to answer any of chat's questions as you gleefully logged in. though it was hard to hide that something had happened, especially at the unnatural blush that kenma still bore.
"stop chat," he whined as you chuckled.
you sighed into his touch as he grabbed your shoulder, small circular motions making you melt into his touch.
you may not get xiao, but you did get something slightly better. you smiled at kenma.
"how many primogems?" he asked as he looked at the store.
"oh just enough to make one ten pull." you nonchalantly said as you watched the elegant cursor hover the 980 genesis crystals. you hadn't ever bought primogems as you were a free-to-play player allowing you to double your purchase. a sinister look crept into kenma's gaze as the mouse snapped to the last option.
"kenma," you screeched, "no."
"kenma," he smiled, "yes."
you growled as he went through the transaction. you blanched at the 12960 primogems now in your possession.
that was enough for 80 wishes.
"c1 xiao, chat?" he asked, chuckling at the flurries of excited yes.
you continued to scowl, but when you saw the pure happiness that glowed in his golden eyes...you couldn't help but smile.
#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x you#kenma x reader#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu headcannons#kenma kozume x reader#haikyuu smut#haikyuu!!#haikyuu!! x reader#haikyuu drabbles#haikyuu fics#kenma kozume x you#kenma#kenma kozume#writing
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Your Voice - timeskip!Kenma x reader
This will be an ongoing 'x reader' fic. For now it will be SFW, later chapters will be NSFW.
[[Ch.2]]
Warnings: SFW
Words: 958
⭐The ask box is always open⭐
There was never a lot that would distract Kenma from a game he was playing, his mind set on the visuals and characters on the screens he would play on. If Kuroo ever called him, or if it involved his work, then he would hesitantly abandon his game, sighing as he got up from his seat.
It was a late night, his eyes browsing through the streaming platform, deciding which streamer to watch as the time neared two in the morning. His eyes were aching, his head badly wanted to sleep. But when did he ever pay attention to his own needs?
There were players from different timezones, even people who were just talking with the people in the chat, and then there'd be the one oddly disturbed individual doing something strange and weird.
Nothing caught his eye as he scoured the site, quickly scrolling from the top of the page to the bottom.
His head leaned on his left elbow as his eyes shut, exhausted from staring into nothing but a screen all day.
At first, it was all quiet. The words of a sweet voice coming from his headphones. It was a sound he could easily fall asleep to, and that was what was happening. His ears and brain liked the voice so much that it made him nap for a few moments.
A sudden gunshot came through the headphones, waking him up from the minute's long nap he had endured and would regret later.
The sound of a girls voice giggling filled his ears for a brief moment as he sat up again.
This must've happened as he drifted off, his hand on the mouse clicked on a random streamer, and it had to be you.
Your face wasn't visible, but Kenma knew that your voice would be the one thing that would bring him back again. He was so taken back by what he had done, the shock of it all making him sit up straight on his chair.
It was a shooter game you were playing, and you were playing it well. Kenma's eyes were fixed on the character on screen, watching it as it ran from one area to the other.
He would normally advise new players on what they should and shouldn't do, but it was too late at night for him to do anything like that.
It didn't look like you were a big streamer, not like Kenma anyway, at most, you had a few hundred viewers.
He thought about helping you boost your viewer count, but it was too late, and he was worried he would do or say the wrong thing.
You had such a nice and soft voice, your slight giggle making its way into Kenma's head. It was obvious that it wouldn't be easy to shake that wonderful sound out of his head.
"Dammit," Kenma says as he leans back on his chair, yawning and stretching his arms above his head.
"'You're really good at this', thank you so much," your pretty voice came again.
A sudden feeling of panic rushed through Kenma, his body leaning forward onto his desk, worried that he had unintentionally said something.
His worry soon disappeared as he sees the plethora of comments saying nearly the same thing, his username was nowhere to be found.
He leans against the back of his chair, his hands gripping at the armrests, a sigh escapes his mouth as his sleep eyes continue to watch the screen in from of him.
It was the only source of light in the room, nothing else was on that would produce a glow like the screen of his computer.
This wasn't what he would normally do, his games fill up most of his time and he enjoyed playing immensely. Watching someone else play did take his interest a little, but it would soon disappear the more he watched.
The whole situation was weird, how his sleepy head drifted off, his finger clicking the mouse button brought him to you, and he didn't want to leave.
A fight ensued in his head, one that tugged at him: should he keep watching, or should he just follow your account and rewatch the stream later? His grip on the armrests tightens as he closes his eyes, thinking hard about what he should do.
His left hand moves up to his head, fingers running through his hair as he makes his choice.
"I guess I can watch this again later," he says as his head leads the cursor to the follow button, making sure he presses it properly before exiting the browser and turning his computer off.
He continued to watch the screen as it shut down, his eyes still taking in the bright lights, until it turned off, leaving him in the dark.
His eyes try to concentrate on the objects around him in the darkness of the room, the only noises now being that of him breathing.
There was now no need for him to stay up, to sit on his gaming chair. Yet, all he could think of was your voice. Was it something that would stick with him all night, worming its way into his dreams, driving him mad?
He stood up, eyes finally adjusting to the dark room. His feet move over to his bed, where he falls forward onto it. Thinking about what just happened. Was this all real? Maybe he had just dreamed it all. But he didn't dream it, it felt real enough to him.
But would this end in him gradually falling for someone he had only just heard? Maybe it was, but it was something that he didn't really want to think about, he wanted to save his mind from overthinking everything.
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@jaundrew
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fate matrix
[ ffxivwrite2021 ] ★ [ masterlist ] ★ [ prompt #05 (free) - fate ]
[ alphinaud/wol & cameos and mentions of some friend ocs, you’re gonna have to read to find out who :) ] ★ [ 5,241 words (oof) ] ★ [ fate matrix au ]
fate: be destined to happen, turn out, or act in a particular way
in a world where the hands of destiny are ones and zeros, at the center of the matrix was a little goddess who would soon find out that she too, isn’t immune to the pull of fate
Day ???? | 07:07am | Day of Destined Meetings
An alarm rings, beeping in an increasingly loud volume as the monitors begin booting up. As light from the screens flood the room, the sound of cotton ruffling can be heard, followed by a soft little yawn.
The girl stirs, clutching at her duvet for warmth before her eyelids flutter open. Bright violet eyes stare up at the ceiling, where the patches of glow up star stickers have lost their radiance in the midst of the fluorescent bulb lighting up. Blinded momentarily, she grimaces, before rolling onto her side and sitting up.
“Good morning, alpha.” A melodic voice chirps out merrily from her parted lips, and she raises a hand to pet the head of the stuffed chocobo that she had been laying beside. “It’s time for work again, huh?”
Stretching her arms high above her head with a final, long yawn, the girl shuffles over to the minibar that was tucked under the table, pulling the door open before grabbing a small tub of yoghurt and peeling it open to peer inside curiously.
Oh, it’s strawberry today, how wonderful! Whoever or whatever magical force is behind stocking up the minibar seems to be in her favor this morning.
Grateful now for her breakfast, the girl slides over to the front of the bed, and places her hand on the mouse after taking a spoonful of the yoghurt into her mouth.
System booting... Please enter password.
>illyaskawi03112
Log in successful. Fatematrix.exe starting.
Welcome, Alice.
The monitors that surround her begin loading up window tabs after window tabs - and at the center on her main monitor, a sizeable grid of glowing icons pop up, along with a smaller, more discreet window showing a map tucked away at the corner of the screen.
Visual stimuli overload aside, the girl seemed to be completely unphased as she bites into yet another scoopful of yoghurt before setting the tub next to her white keyboard, as if this were a scene she’s had to see countless times now.
It’s a routine, a well rehearsed routine that the girl effortlessly goes through the motions of daily. The fate matrix is ever in need of use and she, the center of it all, was more than happy to take control.
That is, after all, the will of her late mother... the previous Alice and goddess of the fate matrix. It is simply her duty to carry on in her legacy. And as per her duty, she begins to spin the wheel of fate, clicking on the very first icon that boots up the fate matrix’s tool assistant. A bright blue pop up appears that the girl drags to the side, and text begins to appear.
Good morning, Alice. Today is a day of destined meetings. I would suggest working on getting soul mates together for the day.
Internally, Illya is delighted. Soul mates were one of her favorite types of work to focus on... and though they were rarely ever more urgent than other types of assignments like accident prevention, weather management or economic balance, it was one that often brought her a great amount of joy.
After all, what was sweeter than nudging two souls who were meant for each other closer? It was the very concept of soul mates, and the tales of the red thread of fate after all, that drew her mother into the concept of fate and caused her to develop the fate matrix.
A soft smile graces her features, and she moves her cursor to click on the second icon, which loads for a second before breaking apart into smaller, glowing dots that scatter across the map - with two dots that indicated soul mates being linked by a dotted line.
Time to get to work!
01:46pm
When Illya clicked on the glowing two red dots upon the map, she hadn’t expected to be shown live footage of the two targets in the very same room.
It’s not uncommon for soul mates to have already met each other, or even be familiar with one another already despite not having made their feelings for each other known yet... but they were cases that were, in Illya’s experience, a little more difficult to work on.
It was easy to nudge two strangers in the same direction or plant small, innocuous thoughts that would help draw two acquaintances into wanting to spend more time with their soul mate. It was far more difficult to convince stubborn people who have, despite many fateful circumstances, refused to confess their feelings to the object of their confession.
After all, the fate matrix was capable of many things - but controlling or taking over the will of people was not one of them.
Illya has convinced two stubborn souls to finally open up in the past though, she was certain she could do so again - she did so with the likes of the two childhood friends, Moth’ir and Thancred... a case which she would never in a million years soon forget... or the infuriatingly obstinate refusal of a pink haired miqo’te girl to confess to her close friend and personal trainer, Haurchefant Greystone... who had been more than obvious with his flirtations for years.
Alice, you have yet to eat your lunch. A quick break is highly suggested.
The tool assistant sends a reminder through a text in it’s window, which Illya is swift to ignore. She can eat once she’s done with this case.
She watched through the monitor as the pair sat on the couch, a girl with straight cut bangs and piercing red eyes lounging lazily with her back propped against the arm rest and her legs laid over her taller, lankier male friend, who seemed to be frustrated at the girl’s refusal to pay him any attention.
“Why invite me over if you’re just going to play your game?”
“Hmph! Says the guy who invited me over to his place only to kick me out halfway through because some of his friends were going to pay him a surprise visit!”
The man lets out a hefty sigh.
“I already apologized for that. And that was over a week ago. Are you seriously still-”
“Yes, yes I am!” Without even looking up from her smartphone, the girl lets out a dramatic huff while admonishing her friend. “I don’t get why you’re so adamant about me not meeting your friends. Why, are you scared they’ll misunderstand and think I’m your girlfriend?”
“That’s- That’s not-”
From the heartrate monitor, Illya can tell that was only part of the reason for his behavior. The true reason, and an explanation that the girl understood full well why he would refuse to tell his friend was written in text in a separate window next to his heartrate monitor.
The girl, Totomi Tomi, or better known by her stage name as Mint, was something of a minor celebrity on the internet. Known for her jovial personality and the many covers of vocaloid songs she posted on her well known eorzeatube page, it wouldn’t be a stretch to call her an idol - even if she wasn’t officially acknowledged or employed as one by some idol management company. Her friend, Estinien, and the object of her very strong feelings towards, had friends who were apparently fans of hers.
It was for that very reason that, for her protection and to spare her the oogling of strangers, that he’d kept his friendship with the young idol a secret from others.
In his eyes, perhaps dating her would be the quickest way to convince his friends to back off... but that would only come after they’d confessed their feelings - which they haven’t.
“That’s not important.” Estinien finally retorts after stumbling after his words for a moment, and Illya has to resist the urge to slam her head against the keyboard.
“Ohhhh... Kay.” Mint rolls her eyes, Illya mirrors the action.
What Illya doesn’t anticipate however, is Estinien’s next words, for as bold and uncharacteristic for an emotionally closed off man such as him.
“Why? Are you disappointed? You almost sound like you want to be known as my girlfriend.”
Mint chokes on her spit, sputtering and gurgling out incomprehensible words until she recovers - but only barely... and now with a dark red blush plastered over her freckled cheeks.
“I-In your dreams, maybe!” Her blatant lie is apparent to all but... the ones who are present in the room. “Besides, I already have someone I like!”
“Oh?” Illya can hear the sheer contempt from her headphones, and she grimaces at the man’s deep frown. “Do tell, who is it?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know, dunderhead!”
“Tell me. I’m curious.”
“Nope nope nope nope nope noppetty nope! Why’d you think I would ever tell you, huh??”
Mint sticks her tongue out at the man, who scowls deeper and nudges the woman’s legs off of his lap.
“Fine. How about a bet then.”
“What bet?”
The man points to the phone she has in her hands.
“Since you’re so fond of your gacha games, and you’re always bragging about how good your luck is, why don’t we make a bet using your game?”
Snatching the phone out of Mint’s hand despite her protests, Estinien taps on the settings button before clicking on the gacha button, the screen switching to the current limited rate up banner of a popular event character.
“If you get a character of the highest rarity within 50 draws, you have to tell me who your crush is.”
“W-why would I even agree to that?? I’ve been saving my primos for Xi-Ao you know?!”
“I’ll pay for your pulls. It’s a win-win for you that way, no? You get free pulls from the game, I get to know who your crush is if you get a shiny new character.”
Mint pulls back, hesitant and suspicion clear in her eyes, but still enough to hint at consideration.
“And what’s in it for me? What if I do pull a 5 star character?”
After much consideration, Estinien responds once more.
“I’ll let you whale for whatever character you want next on my credit card. And I’ll cosplay with you at the next convention.”
At the condition of his loss set, Mint’s face lights up with pure elation, as she snatches her phone back from her friend with a cheeky grin on her face.
“Deal! You’re so going to lose, long bean! My luck in Genshin Impact’s second to none! I can’t wait to make you cosplay sailor moon!!”
An equally devious smile spreads across the face of Alice, whose hands are swift to pull up another window tab reserved specifically for video game and gambling luck.
She has always admittedly been favorable and gracious in giving out good draws to people who deserve it - the program she has running in the background is testament to that... And she has no doubt in her mind that the fate matrix has been generous in it’s givings to Mint, if her boastings are anything to go by.
Mint must thusly, be a good person.... and she deserves a fate more fulfilling than virtual characters on a screen.
The girl must truly feel confident in herself, as she hits the draw x10 button without a single hesitation.
Illya begins typing the code into the new window, and sympathy wells in her heart as she hears Mint huff in minor disappointment.
“Only one 4 star? Eh, it’s just a fluke, I have 40 more pulls and I’m close to soft pity too!”
“Good luck.” Estinien chuckles mockingly, and Mint lets out a growl before pressing on the draw x10 button again.
Nothing. The third ten pull is no better - with nothing but a single 4 star weapon to show for her efforts. Mint is evidently getting more nervous as her finger shakes, pressing down on the button that will decide her fate for the fourth time.
She was so certain she’d get a 5 star by now - she normally gets what she wants within the first thirsty pulls, and it’s a normal occurrence to even pull multiple 5 stars within the same roll... So... why?
Her 40th pull ends with two 4 star characters, a sight better than the ones before... a sign of Illya’s pity on her... but still not a condition for her win.
“Oh, someone’s getting nervous.” Estinien smirks, “You’re on your last pull away from telling me who you have a crush on.”
“H-hah! That’s where you’re wrong!” Mint exclaims, jabbing a finger at him. “The chances of getting a 5 star increases with each pull, so i’m almost a hundred percent certain I’ll get one this time!”
Mint’s heartrate monitor is going off the charts, and Illya has to intervene by lowering her vitals enough so she wouldn’t pass out from sheer nervousness. It does little to hide it from Estinien, however, who could only relish every second of Mint’s rapidly darkening blush as she finally taps on the draw x10 button one final time.
The shooting star across the screen flickers, before bursting into a shade of pink that has Mint leaning back with mouth agape, a mixture of sheer shock and terror on her expression.
Hopelessness is all she feels as she taps, taps and taps, and the roll summary page shows naught but a single Benny - the unluckiest character in the game, grinning widely at her.
“Well, well, well. Looks like I won.” Estinien sounds way too casual and smug, unaware of the monumentally immense amount of bad fortune that had just befallen his friends. “As per our deal, you’re going to have to tell me who your crush is.”
Illya feels sorry for her meddling, and she makes a mental note to herself to bless Mint’s future rolls with as many of the highest rarity characters she could possibly afford to give without breaking the laws of probability too much... but when Mint finally breaks out of her stutter and sets her phone down on her lap, hands grasping so tightly at the hem of her skirt that her knuckles turned white, the girl knew that she’d dealt the woman a hand far kinder than if she had not.
“I-It’s...... It’s you, okay?”
07:32pm
Alice it is time for dinner. The curry will get cold if you leave it out for too long.
Illya’s tendency to ignore the tool assistant in regards to her own wellbeing was concerning, but not an anomaly. In fact, it was far more rare for the text in the pop up to be spared more than a single second’s glance from her.
Whether it was reminders for her to eat, for her to sleep early, to hydrate or to stretch after hours hunched over her keyboard in front of glaringly bright monitors for a good whole of her day, the tool assistant’s well meaning messages would always go ignored.
It’s a natural part of it’s program, Illya tells herself, as she filters through lists of finished cases before moving on to pending ones. Much like the fate matrix, that ran on a code that was, in admittance, far more complex than even she could fully comprehend... the tool assistant ran on code. It was an artificial intelligence her mother had created during her last few months of life, something that, according to the note left in the hard drive of the fate matrix, would help Illya better slip into her role as adjudicator of fate.
She’d remembered when she first awoke in this room and on the bed, not having any recollection of how she’d even arrived in the first place. The momentary panic and confusion had been replaced with a sense of obligation... of duty and honor when she booted up the computer for the first time to be greeted with the words from the tool assistant - as well as a lengthy message from her late mother.
We who do not belong to the realm of mortals... we who possess the blood of fate. We bear the burden of watching over the world and making sure that it is a safer, happier, better place for everyone. Only you alone can take possession of the fate matrix in my stead, and I pray you’ll forgive me for not being able to say goodbye to you in person.
Family meant the world to Illya, it has ever been that way. She spent a good amount of her childhood in the company of her parents, with little understanding of the world beneath. She had no concept of the idea of fate, of how destiny was dealt... only that her mother had a significant role to play, and that her time with her family was soon to be cut short by a crippling, unkind illness that not even the fate matrix could undo.
Illya’s never tried stepping out of her room before. She has always assumed that it exists in some kind of void or overworld that overlooked the mortal realm. It mattered not, really... The only thing important was that mother had left this place behind, and wanted her only daughter to inherit her role as Alice.
It was with that responsibility in mind that drove Illya to stay seated in front of the monitors for as long as she has.
Time is no longer being a concept, the rising and falling of the sun no longer visible to her eyes aside from a arbitrary number on the clock that served more as a timer for how long she has left to work until exhaustion would consume her.
Do you not wonder what it’s like to have friends, Alice?
Recently, however the tool assistant has been sending her more and more pointless questions... questions that went far beyond the daily self-maintenance reminders that she could understand her mother programming in for her wellbeing, questions aimed to be poignant and was targeted to making her feel more isolated and alone than it did help. It was bordering on annoyance.
You could leave this room any time you wanted.
And why would she do that? She murmured to herself as she typed in code to program a heavy storm, forcing a raven haired lalafellin man to offer his umbrella to his soul mate who had been stranded under a lone busstop - a pink haired woman with olive green eyes who seemed utterly smitten with him upon first sight.
Her purpose was here, to take control of the fate matrix, to grant happy memories, to save lives, to fulfill wishes and dreams. There can be no greater and heavier responsibility to bear in the world.
Truthfully, the reason why Illya stayed at first had solely because of her mother’s wishes... But now, it was more than that.
Because the idea of separating herself from the fate matrix... and not being able to grant the kindness of fate that so many people in the world deserved... it was a pain that was worth her own sense of self.
Are you not lonely? Do you not want someone to love you?
Why did it matter if she was lonely? The envy and curiosity she feels upon watching a group of friends hanging out together is nothing in comparison to the pain mortals felt from a love unrequited, or a loved one losing their life.
She taps furiously on a historian with bright red hair and eyes, forcing him to get a wardrobe malfunction that would push him to visit a tailor where an impish lalafellin fashion designer with snow white freckles awaited him with choice words of ridicule. She tips over a telephone pole that causes two surf shop co-owners who were on a road trip to park by the roadside so that they may witness a falling star, wishes made leading to their confession. She painstakingly guides a woman with silver hair and golden yellow eyes towards a drycleaner, where she initiates easy banter with a man who she later finds out was her old schoolmate.
Juno and Ysayle, Bianca and Varis, Niqesse and Zenos, Nowi and June. She remembers the soul mates she pushes together by name, and treasures the happiness they are sure to feel from their memories as if they were her own.
Detached from their world she may be, it is through the fate matrix that she can experience a sliver of their joy and love... even if it is for a fleeting moment before she must move on to the next.
11:17pm
One more assignment, she tells herself, eyes bloodshot and fingers sore from typing. One more case and she’ll eat before going to bed. She has done much for the day as it is... but she cannot rest until she’s closed one particular case that has her vexed for the entire day.
A pair of glowing purple dots that has been plastered on the map since morning has her thoroughly vexed... because for some reason or another, she cannot seem to gather information on one half of the pair.
She’s able to view the other half just fine - a dashing young man who seemed to be a senior in university despite his age, having skipped two grades due to his academic prowess. He is incredibly gifted, possessing not only of superior intellect but also an artistic hand and charismatic demeanor that makes him quite popular at his school.
But no matter how much she clicked on the other purple dot, or made futile attempts to manually search for data on his other half, nothing would show up. No windows, no tabs... What was even more perplexing was that the dot hadn’t moved on the map at all.
Illya had paid especially close attention to the purple dots ever since she’d found this anomaly in the fate matrix... she was certain she would have noted movement if there had been any at all.
But whereas the icon of the boy had understandably been moving throughout the city of Sharlayan, the icon of his mysterious other half hadn’t, laying stagnant on a singular point of the map in the middle of what appeared to be an old apartment complex.
It was as if his soul mate just... didn’t exist at all.
The boy didn’t have any romantic feelings for anyone, nor did it seem like there was anyone at his school that would have an attachment to him that extended beyond admiration or a short-term attraction, which she’s long learned to tell apart from genuine love. If the tool assistant had a text saying that her target simply did not have a soul mate at all, she’d have been inclined to believe it.
But the other purple dot that connected to his does not lie. If he didn’t have a soul mate, his icon wouldn’t be connected to the other. Her tool assistant wouldn’t have told her, very deliberately she may add, that he did in fact have a soul mate and that it was imperative for her to unite them.
But how was she to make two people meet when she could not even tell who the other was? It was the first time Illya’s wondered if there was even any point to her efforts.
Desperate times call for desperate measures, then. It may be unnatural for a piece of note to fall from the sky, but it was perhaps her final chance to get the boy to meet his soul mate before the opportunity would be lost forever.
Assignments from her pending window are known to disappear all of a sudden, and soul mates who were attached and at their prime for a fated meeting for the moment often times disappear from the map entirely... a tragedy as a result to the slipping of time that the fate matrix cannot rectify... and she’d be damned if she let it happen to this case just because of a simple glitch.
The boy, Alphinaud Leveilleur, star student of the nation’s most prestigious academy, had been walking home from his late night seminars. His position was unnervingly close to where his soul mate is, and since she could not think of any way she could naturally nudge him in the direction of the apartment complex, she writes a note posing as his soul mate and drops it from the sky.
“W-what in the twelve?”
The boy catches it in mid-air, looking at the haphazardly scribbled words on the paper.
PLEASE HELP ME. I’M BEING HELD AGAINST MY WILL. I’M BEING TRAPPED AT _______________
She made the handwriting disorderly intentionally... just to sell the idea of a person being trapped better, of course. She’d even slathered on a small smudge of blood on the corner of the note to make it more convincing... and it seemed to have done the trick as the boy widens his navy blue eyes in alarm, head turned up in the direction of the apartment complex he stood next to.
Illya can tell he has his doubts, and she doesn’t blame him... It’s suspicious enough that the call for help would just so conveniently fall towards him as he was walking past... but he’s never known any criminal activity to have taken place in that apartment complex - Sharlayan is relatively safe compared to it’s neighbor, Mor Dhona.
A few simple thoughts however, might just do the trick into getting him to spring into action.
Injecting into his mind, Illya types out frantically into the text box for thought processing.
What if this is real? What if there really is someone in need of rescuing and I just walked by without helping them? What if they appeared on the news tomorrow? I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself. What if... what if this note really is fate?
She’s preying on his upright and morally upstanding character, she knows that... and it never feels good to take advantage of a objectively good person’s kindness... But her determination to grant him lifelong happiness wins as she watches through the live feed the as the boy clutches onto the note close to his chest and begins to run into the carpark of the apartment complex before heading inside.
Zooming into the map, she sees that her target is taking the lift up to the highest floor, his heartrate skyrocketing at an alarming pace as she panics for a moment and has to manually adjust it back down. He’s nervous... and she must admit that she is too.
When he leaves the lift, his footsteps are unsteady and hesitant... But a few more encouraging thoughts was enough to get him to push forward until he’s standing in front of a door - the only door on the last floor of the complex, as it would happen.
Illya tries to look into the room, but the window that pops up is but a single black screen that has her sighing. No matter. The fact that there even was a window in the first place is progress.
She’s gotten this far into leading him here... all he has to do is open the door where his other half is sure to be on the other side.
The boy tries to twist open the door knob, the metal rattlingly noisily in Illya’s headphones. But it doesn’t budge or give way.
Figures that it’d be locked. How is she supposed to lead him inside? She can’t ring the doorbell because, for as odd as it is, there is none... and she cannot pull up any information on his soul mate, let alone inject into thoughts into their head to open the door. It’s far too suspicious to drop the key to the door right in front of him.
With each second that passes, it seemed like the boy was letting his doubts begin to sway his decision to stay more and more... and Illya’s heart drops into the pit of her stomach when she sees the boy begin to step away from the door and reaching into his bag for his phone, a thought bubble popping up above him.
I should call the police, instead...
“No! You mustn’t!” Illya yells out by instinct.
“Huh???” the boy’s eyes widen once more, and to Illya’s utter confusion, he bolts forward and is now banging his fist against the door. “Hello?! Are you okay?! If you’re in there and you need help, please say something again!”
He must’ve heard a voice.... Illya mused, eyes glistening with intrigue... her voice. Did her mic turn on by accident? Or perhaps she’d projected her voice onto the door out of instinct. She wouldn’t be surprised if she did... but the most important thing is that it worked, and it got the boy to stay.
“Y-yes! I’m... I’m in here!” Illya responds, intentionally letting out sobs into her microphone this time, “p-please help me... I-I’m really hurt and I don’t know when they’ll get back!”
Alphinaud’s heartrate is beating faster than it’s ever had before... and Illya makes no attempts to lower it as she watches the boy grit his teeth and set his bookbag down.
“A-alright! Stand back! I’ll try to knock the door down!”
Good thinking, Illya hums to herself in silence. The door seems old and rickety on its own... unless his soul mate has very deliberately barricaded the inside, there shouldn’t be any reason why he’d not be able to knock it down.
The boy begins to slam his torso into the door, pulling himself back before once more rushing into the door, and the sound of banging fills Illya’s headphones. It’s oddly loud and deafening... but she makes no attempts to lower her volume as she grips the edge of her keyboard in anticipation.
“Don’t worry miss! Just a bit more! I’ll get you out, I promise!”
His sincerity touches her... and though it is wholly unnecessary, Illya is moved to speak into the mic once more... and her words causes a surge of renewed energy to flow through him.
“Yes! I believe in you! I’m waiting!”
Illya has never known what the outside of her room looked like... nor the time or space that occupied it. It was never necessary, she’d convinced herself... She was simply content with watching the outside world through the lens of the fate matrix while playing the ultimate puppet master.
She has never smelled the outside air, never seen the light of the sun, never once touched the hands of another... not since she arrived here.
When the door to her room clattered noisily onto the ground, so loudly that she could not chalk it up to being a result of the projection in her headphone, the girl spun around... and stared with wide, bewildered and confused eyes at the boy in front of her - clear without the pixels of the screen obscuring him... clear and oh so very real.
Beads of sweat trickling down his brows from exertion... his usually neat fitting uniform disheveled from strain...
And in his clear blue eyes was the reflection of herself, staring back at her as if they were a window to her future.
“Y-you.... you are....?”
The tool assistant of the fate matrix sends another text, which goes unread and ignored by Alice once again.
You watch over the fate of others. But even you aren’t immune to the hands of fate.
#ffxiv#final fantasxy xiv#ffxivwrite2021#ffxivwrite#kiwisffxivwrite2021#alphinaud leveilleur#alphinaud#illya skawi#we've come so far#fanfic#mine#lots of cameos and mentions of friends but i'm not gonna list em all out here kek#holy fuck this turned out longer than i expected#and i already had to cut down a lot of this fic!!!#Like... i planned to expand each friend ship into their own dedicated segment but#it got too detailed and bleh
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72 Hours
You only have 72 hours to detain Steve Rogers. He’s the only opportunity you can get to find out what happened and why half of the population mysteriously disappeared.
word count: 3,168
tags: eventual dark!steve rogers and non-con; however, none much in this chapter but plot and interaction
Things escalated so quickly.
Ever since half of the world population had suddenly disappeared, which left fewer people walking around the streets of Manhattan, your job had become stressful yet so useless. The rest of the investigative crew are close to giving up and adapting to what has been left.
Meanwhile, here you were. Neither convinced nor ready to accept the fact that most of your friends and family have vanished.
Days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months. By now, the withdrawal is coming close to a year and a half. Yet the clues you have gathered merely comprises for a month of effort.
“You should be giving up on this already.” Two of your colleagues walk behind you, either of them comforting your bothered state by rubbing your back as a gesture to cheer up. The hint of hopelessness in their tone bothers you more than their initial intention.
“I doubt you will be solving one of the biggest mysteries of the world yet,” they state with an implication of humor before pulling back. From the corner of your vision, you could see their jackets folded neatly and hung on top of their arms. Just as their uniforms remained pressed, it conveys that they were already prepared to check out of their shift.
“But hey, if you do solve it, let us know. We’ll be more than supportive and grateful for your efforts, Agent.”
“Thanks. I hope so,” your voice was soft, resisting to show any sign of weakness or vulnerability despite on the verge of breaking down on the inside.
Within a few minutes, the office was left noiseless. Most of the officers who had day shifts proceeded to depart by the hour until you and two others have remained.
For you, it did not matter whether you got paid for overtime from your original schedule. Since you did not have anyone to look forward to when coming home, you preferred to spend most of your hours at work, searching for a way to somehow bring them back.
The chances were so odd and slim. The fact that all your families and friends near your location were wiped out. You could not do anything since you did not know who caused all this disaster, let alone the reasons behind the disappearances.
As your elbows were resting on top of your desk, your head fell onto both your palms. A big sigh was released from your lips countless times already. This wasn’t just getting lonely anymore, you were obsessing over something that was far from your reach.
The plain screensaver of the bureau’s logo was dancing over your desktop. Along with several pictures, specifically one or more for each member of the well-known extra-terrestrial fighting group of Avengers. Their superhero names were scribbled with red ink and pinned onto a small corkboard.
Tony Stark.
The name haunted you to your dreams. The billionaire who brought good and bad things into New York City.
You are not entirely sure why your guts were forcing you to focus on this man amongst the rest of his alliance. But you were just desperate to cling onto any evidence blindly hanging in front of you.
For the entirety of the event, you haven’t had a single report about him. Assuming that he’s been trying to hide from this mess, you tried contacting other bureaus from across the world in search of the man. For months of being very pushy, you have only been getting the same phrases like a broken record.
‘I’m sorry, Agent.’
‘No. We haven’t had any reports about Tony Stark.’
‘My crew has been trying their best, but there aren’t any traces of him.’
‘We assure you we’ll find him sooner or later, Agent.’
‘Please be patient, we don’t have much manpower here anymore.’
For months, you have been at the edge of your seat. Eager to answer the phone at the first ring. If it’s not considered patient then soon enough it’s going to run out. You did not know what backup plan you have once that does happen though.
Maybe going crazy would ironically be the sanest thing to happen.
Nevertheless, you will eventually cross that bridge when you get there. For now, the only option you have is to overwork yourself to the edge of insanity.
“A long day you got there, Agent?” A subordinate of yours passes by with two cups of coffee in her hand. She sets down the other right beside your computer screen and glances at the pictures splayed across your work area.
You groan, a frown still evident as you sat up straight before replying, “Oh tell me about it, I’ve had the longest year.”
She gave you a warm smile, like always around this time of evening. Though only being hired recently after a month of the mysterious disappearing arc, she continued to attend to her shift and adapt as the others would. And despite almost a year of greeting, and often bringing you a cup of coffee, you never really gave any of your attention to her.
This time though, you looked back just as she was about to leave. You were quick enough to get a glance of her name plastered on her identification card connected to a lanyard that draped around her collar.
Agent Maria Hill.
“Agent Hill,” you addressed her. She turned around with a smile, looking neatly as ever with her hair combed and pinned in a neat bun.
“Yes?”
"Thanks for the coffee, like every night." Your gratitude combines with a warming smile that reaches out for her. Though appearing exhausted from staring at a screen and documents for hours, you tried to look your best when facing her.
"It's no big deal." Her reply trails down to murmur a few indistinctive words that you merely brushed off, assuming that it was nothing but a nice gesture.
Before her figure could entirely exit the vicinity of your workplace, you swiftly chirped, "And thanks for being so nice to me!" A chuckle was heard from her, leaving off with a smile as she walked away without responding anything in return.
Immediately, your mood shifted again returning to your usual distressed state of mind.
The coffee you drank earlier was wearing off from your system. You could drink the cup your colleague had offered, but you figured it could not do much now that your body could only harbor caffeine to such an extent. A twelve-hour shift with merely half an hour of lunch break would not leave you, or anyone, at best. By sooner, your eyelids were getting heavy, risking to doze off at work.
Your fingers reached to move your mouse, dragging the cursor along with the useless mail your inbox has been receiving. Each of them took that least bit of hope of finding Stark, making you feel caged and haunted every day as there is not any progress in a year.
Again, you groan, louder this time. Other agents around could have heard you yet shrugged your frustration casually since they have witnessed it for months. You ball your fists and slam it against your desk, rough enough to make a sound echo throughout the room, but not enough to break it into two.
“Fuck, I need the rest,” you admit to yourself.
｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ
24 hours
Days have passed. Like usual – nothing.
As always, your routine started just as you were walking to the agency. However, amidst peacefully walking at the pavement, trying to get even a hint of peace of mind, the phone tucked inside the pocket of your jacket started ringing.
The name of your agency was the first thing you have noticed as you faced the small screen. Moreover, you did not hesitate to slide the green phone button to answer.
“Hel–”
Just as you were about to offhandedly greet the person at the other line, they made their way to cut the conversation fearfully.
“They found him! They found him, Agent!” The fearful yet impressed tone was evident, and eventually, you realized that the familiar voice belonged to Agent Hill.
Nonetheless, your mind started wandering to different scenarios, jumping to conclusions like a kid. Despite barely hearing anything other than they caught someone, you were sure looking as joyful as ever. It was as if every bit of hope you lost each week have been restored.
For a short while of daydreaming, you have recovered quickly. Moreover, inquire about the context of what she’s trying to refer to. “What do you mean you’ve found him, Hill?”
Your heart raced quickly. The tension behind finding out who it was was far from the reality of it being a pause for mere seconds.
Please say you have found Stark. Your mind could only pray harder for those words to be repeated from the other end of the call.
“The team found one of the members of the Avengers,” she answers.
“Which one of them?”
“It’s Steve Rogers.”
Your world partly crumbled after hearing a different name compared to what you were expecting. Nevertheless, happy enough that you were progressing on the vision you have laid out.
“Hold on, I’ll be at the station in a few minutes.” You assert, turning around the corner of a street you were approaching. From here, there was a fair five-minute jog until your office. Considering that it was early morning, you did not hesitate to start speeding your pace.
Right now, as if things escalated so quickly
Once you arrived, you passed vacant offices until reaching the interrogation room. The other officers were gathered outside it, facing the two-way mirror that displayed the known Captain America.
Maria Hill was standing closest to the mirror. Getting the best view of the super-soldier sitting peacefully inside the room. You approached her with a confused look upon your face.
“How did you even find him?”
“It’s a long story, there were two of them though we could only catch up with Mr. Rogers,” she explains.
“Alright.” You motioned for your other colleagues to return to their original tasks. Both you and Agent Hill were left, given privacy to talk about what should be done.
“Give me a moment with him, I’ll try to see what information we can get.” Agent Hill nods at you and hands over a folder. She gestures for you to take a step inside the room and reassures that she will be outside to act as a witness.
As you enter the room, it felt colder in addition to the resentful stare coming from Captain America himself. His gaze does not leave you, following your trail up until you reach the metal chair and take a seat in front of him.
Your back begins to sweat even after barely interacting with him. You did not know what could happen. For all you know, he could rip his handcuffs and beat your face over the table.
Nonetheless, you tried to look as assertive as possible. Adjusting your posture to feel comfier in your seat and clasped both palms of your hands over each other. You look in front, seeing the man still staring at you.
You took a deep breath to prepare yourself “Nice to see you in Manhattan again, Mr. Rogers.” Your voice was close to breaking, but you disregarded it. This is your nearest encounter with a superhero, so it would be normal for anyone to feel pressured.
The soldier raises one eyebrow at your greeting. He pulls back and slumps on his chair, acting as if he’s the one probing the detainee. “Been keeping track of me, ma’am?”
The tone of his voice instantly became cocky. Even so, smirking while his gaze shifts from the floor and back at you.
“I have been keeping track of the Avengers for these past months,” you affirm. To prevent a boost of ego in his system, you also added, “But I wasn’t specifically keeping my eye on you, Captain.”
He imitates an offended look, placing one of his cuffed hands over his left chest. “Ouch. Was expecting a pretty woman like you tracking down America’s Golden Boy.”
“Nonetheless, do tell me which one of us were you looking for. Is it Stark?” You tried to ignore his mood swings. The sudden change of being quiet, then proceeding to act hurt, and now seeming provoked even if you had not given any answers yet.
You figured it was best to ignore his question.
“Mr. Rogers, may I know what you were doing here in Manhattan and who you were with–”
“I asked you a question first,” he reminds.
“Look, sir, I don’t think it will help if I’m the one answering questions here,” you sigh. “So if you could please cooperate with us.”
“Cooperate? Why would I?” He scoffs. “You can only detain me here for seventy-two hours at most. Considering that you have no evidence against me, you can only hope to pray for a miracle.”
His attitude was not at all welcoming. Your blood started to boil at the man seated in front of you, acting as if he is completely innocent about all this.
“Is it true that you aren’t withholding any information about the disappearance of half of the world population?” You argue with a brow raised at him.
“I know nothing,” the man answers.
“And if you do know something, that’s obstruction of justice. You know that right, Captain?”
He smiles faintly. This time he breaks his stare, looking at the floor while answering, “Yes I do, ma’am. Very well.”
His expressions were starting to drive you crazy. You were used to this kind of scenario back when things were normal. Though after the events transpired, it has been a year without you interrogating someone who was held inside this room. You’ve gotten subpar upon looking like an intimidating officer.
“Okay then.” You nod, “Can you explain to me why you and your accomplice tried to run away from the cops.”
“We didn’t,” he said, ever so boldly. “Your friend, over there, spotted us and tried to cuff us immediately. Which one of you thought that was a good idea?”
Your gaze follows onto the large mirror placed near the door of the room. You could only see both you and Steve Rogers, but you knew Agent Hill was at the other side listening to your conversation.
“Look, half of the population mysteriously disappeared,” you sigh in between, “it’s not something a normal person would be able to perform. Can you blame us for following up on the Avengers?”
“I guess not then, ma’am.” He nods, accepting your statement. “Still won’t change the fact that I have no idea about all these disappearances, yeah?”
“Right, then tell me who were you with before Agent Hill decided to detain you here.” You lean back while crossing both your arms against your chest. Your teeth lightly bit the insides of your cheeks as you tried to hold out a frustrated sigh.
“Well, I was with Nat,”
“Nat? Natasha Romanoff?” You raise your chin, intrigued to find out more. “Five-foot five, Russian assassin, shoulder-length vermillion hair, Natasha Romanoff?”
“That’s impressively accurate.” Steve Rogers chuckles in front of you again before adding, “Except that she’s blonde now.”
You tried to take in a few minutes to grasp the information. The silence prods through your thoughts as you analyze the possibilities, perceiving that maybe, just maybe, you’re a few steps closer to Tony Stark.
But the man disrupted your thoughts, “Still don’t know why you’re holding us custody despite all this. You won’t get anything, might as well cut to the chase.”
“You’re quite a smart-mouth there, Captain.”
“And you’re quite eager to find about Stark, Agent,” he mocks. You throw your head back in defeat. This was going nowhere and both of you knew it.
Instead, you push against the table so you could finally stand up. You rest both your palms flat against the cold metal table, arms stretched wide to balance your weight out.
“I think that’s enough for today.” You grab the untouched folder before turning to your side to walk towards the door. “Thank you for trying to cooperate with us, Mr. Rogers.”
As you head out, you noticed that Agent Hill was already out of sight. She most likely headed to do her job rather than to stand and watch you and Steve exchange nonsense.
｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ
As you get home, you dressed into casual home clothes and headed to bed.
You could not entirely fall asleep. The super-soldier was stuck in your mind, frustrating you into the depths of it.
You tried to ponder, grabbing the folder of compiled documents that Agent Hill handed you over earlier. As you opened it, the first layer of it was pictures of Steve Roger’s face throughout the week. You guessed that they were not just trailing him today, but also studied his moves for the past week.
Furthermore, you flipped through pictures of him and his crew, but they looked like they were not in taken in New York. It was dark and the faces of Steve, Natasha, two other persons in the background could be seen fairly.
“Huh.” You furrowed your eyebrows realizing that there were more details about them that you expected. For a while also wondering why Hill did not updated you about these at least.
But eventually you acknowledged that you were so busy figuring out information about Tony Stark, that you forgot that the other superheroes he has worked with were just as significant.
Steve Rogers. Natasha Romanoff. Sam Wilson.
Location: Edinburgh, Scottland
21:32. April 2018
Steve Rogers. Natasha Romanoff.
Location: Manhattan, New York
13:05. October 2019
His beard remained almost the same despite the year difference. His golden hair was brushed backed sleekly. His appearance was still alike a year ago which meant that he was trying to maintain that kind of appearance
Compared to his clean, shaved aura back in 2012, you can admit that he looks way more intimidating now. You did not know whether he was trying to look different to prevent the bureau from recognizing him or if it was because he wanted to look like some creepy degenerate.
Nonetheless, there were a lot of questions running around your mind. It was only tonight when you finally got to grasp on who and what you’re dealing with.
However, your comprehensive scanning was interrupted after hearing a tap on your window. It did not sound as terrifying as it would, but it was loud enough to interrupt your thoughts from getting further.
In the end, you set the files on top of your nightstand and switched on your lamp. You lay in your bed, eyes sealed shut yet your mind still wanders off, trying to fit together the pieces of the puzzle.
When drifting to sleep, the most evident question strayed:
Why was Steve Rogers, and his team, staying in Manhattan, despite hiding completely undisturbed in Edinburgh?
#dark!steve#dark!steve smut#dark!steve x reader#dark!steve rogers#dark!steve rogers imagine#dark steve rogers#dark steve x reader#dark steve rogers imagine#dark steve#steve rogers imagine#steve rogers smut#steve rogers x reader#fanfiction#chris evans#chris evans imagine#chris evans smut#dark!fic
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A Place Like This 4 - Ending
Warnings: this short series includes dark elements including noncon, violence, mentions of mental illness, mentions of contraception, and other explicit content. I’m not your mother, curate your own consumption.
This is dark!Lumberjack!Andy Barber and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: You find yourself trapped.
Note: Alright, this is gonna be the last part. Hope y’all enjoyed.
Thank you. Love you guys!
As always, if you can, please leave some feedback, like and reblog <3
You didn’t know how you fell asleep. You chalked it up to your near-death experience and the physical shock that still ravaged your body. You were roused by a soft sway. Andy carried you up the stairs as the pale early morning light broke through the shrouded windows. You groaned, your body was sore.
He angled you through your bedroom door and set you down, your body enveloped in the duvet as he pulled the rest of your covers over you. He sat on the edge of the bed and grinned down at you. He had already dressed, the same clothing he’d shed before the fire. You turned your face away from him.
“I’m going into town. I’ll try to be quick.” He said. “There’s a lot of snow to clear though so… who knows,” His hand was on your shoulder, heavy even through the layers. “Sleep, relax…” He leaned in so that his beard tickled your cheek. “You’ll need your energy.”
You shuddered and turned your back to him. He chuckled and stood. You listened to the old wooden floor as it groaned beneath his weight and the door shut behind him with a soft click. You buried your head in your pillow as you tried to chase away visions of the night before.
You should’ve just left well enough alone. Should have.
Your sank back down into your drowsiness, reached for it, as you welcomed sleep and an escape from your new reality. If it were only for a few minutes or a few hours, you needed it because there was no true escape to be had.
When you woke again, you heard muffled voices below. Your head was heavy. You must’ve slept for some time. You sat up and climbed to you feet with a stagger. You went to your dresser and pulled out a sweatshirt and a pair of corduroy pants. You slipped into a pair of cotton panties but didn’t bother with your bra as the loose shirt hung from your shoulders.
The stairs creaked and you turned to stare at the door. He didn’t knock before he entered. Instead, Andy strode in and shut the door swiftly behind him. He placed the paper bag on your dresser as he neared and you backed away until you were against the wall.
“You’re looking better,” He said. “Your mother will be happy.” You were silent as he watched you. “I made sure she took her pills, don’t you worry, and I brought back breakfast. For all of us.”
He turned and unfolded the top of the bag. He reached inside and pulled out a slender box. He held it out to you.
“She’s warming it up now. It was a long drive.” He said. “You should eat before you take it.”
You hesitantly took the box. Your insides twisted and you sidled away from him to sit on the bed. You carefully slipped the flap open and slid out the single pill.
“We’ll be safer from here on out,” He reached into the bag again and revealed a large box of condoms. He smiled as he faced you and read the side. “Ribbed for her pleasure, huh? Looks like I’m doing you all sorts of favours.”
You shook your head as you popped the pill out of the wrapper. You swallowed it dry and closed up the box before tucking it away in your night table. Andy set down the box of condoms and neared. He sat besides you and played with the loose sleeve of your shirt.
“I’d say we could test these out now but you’re mom’s worried,” He sneered. “Come down, humour her, and we’ll catch up later.”
“You should’ve killed me,” You croaked.
“No fun in that,” He stood and stretched his arms behind him. “But lots of fun to be had.”
“How can you do this? How can--”
“You know what I’ve learned. This world is cruel whether you’re good or bad so what’s the point in trying.” He snarled. “Might as well get what you can out of it any way you can. Good and bad be damned.” He went to the door and swung it open. “Come on. Leave your mom waiting and she might start to expect you’re up to something.”
You rose and sniffed. You tucked your feet into your slippers and followed him into the hall. You wrung your hands. You could taste the powdery remnants of the pill on your tongue and almost felt it sinking into your gut.
Your mother was in the kitchen. She pulled out the pan of scrambled eggs, hash, and sausage. The smell of coffee floated in the air.
“Dear, you’re awake,” She set the pan down and laid out the three plates stacked on the counter. “I was so worried. How many times did I tell you when you were young to be careful of ice?”
“Uh,” You sat and Andy went to help her at the counter. “There was a lot of snow. I couldn’t see.”
He nodded subtly, a silent approval as he faced away from you. You mother divvied up the goods and Andy turned with two plates and set them on the table. He turned back from the last and took it from your mother.
“Sit, I’ll get the coffee… and your tea, of course. The kettle should be ready.” He set the plate down and pulled out her chair.
She sat and preened and you hid your dismay. You picked up your fork but your mother shook her head to warn you to wait. You did as Andy brought you both mugs and grabbed the cream and milk from the fridge. He sat with his own cup of coffee and sighed.
“Well, it’s been a bit of a disastrous few days but… I’m really glad I was here to help you ladies out,” He beamed. “Out here, all alone, you two really could’ve been in a lot of trouble.”
🍂
Later that day, after your mother laid down for her nap, you retreated to your office. Writing would help distract you. And if you couldn’t write, it gave you a reason to be alone. You sat before your screen, staring at the blinking cursor. You were supposed to be writing about themes for unique holiday gatherings. You weren’t much of a host but writing had taught you how to bluff.
You sat back in your chair and pressed your hands to your temples. You couldn’t concentrate. You still felt a slight chill and a shadow of fatigue hovered over you. He would be back to work tomorrow, if the lumberyard didn’t shut down due to snow. The storm had slowed enough that it might not.
The door opened and you spun around. Andy let the door slowly close behind him as he crossed the room but it didn’t click. You watched him near and he reached past you to your desk. He laid down the condom and smirked.
“Well, it’s quiet around here,” His fingers flitted over your shoulder as he drew back. “I’m pretty bored.”
“I’m working.” You swiveled back and rested your fingers on the keyboard. He grabbed your chair and rolled it back. He stepped forward and bent to look at your laptop.
“Hmm, not much,” He said and snapped his fingers. “Here.”
He grasped your arm and tugged until you stood. He pulled the chair up behind him and sat as you shuffled aside.
“What are you doing?” You reached for the mouse as he did and he batted your hand away.
“Get undressed,” He demanded as he minimized your document and scrolled through the rest of your files. “Now.”
“Andy--”
“You don’t wanna make a scene. Wake up your mother?” He looked at you briefly. “I thought you understood how this was going to work.”
You nodded and backed away. He glanced back at your computer and sighed as he rolled the wheel of the mouse and clicked. You lifted your sweat shirt over your head and shivered. It was cold despite the distant rattle in the vents.
“He wore black. Always black. As if he thought he could fade into the background. Often he did, as he watched her. As he followed her through the crowded streets. She never noticed him, never was aware of her watcher only six steps behind…” He read allowed. “Not until that day.”
He clicked his tongue and turned to you as you unbuttoned your fly. You blinked at him dumbly and froze.
“Interesting story you got going there,” He remarked. “A bit… fantastical. Real villains aren’t so obvious.”
You blanched and looked away. You pushed your zipper down and shoved your pants down your legs. You stepped out of them, your wool socks caught in the ankles and stood. He grabbed the elastic of your panties and drew you forward.
“We’ll have to be quick right now,” He said. “But tonight, we can take our time.”
You caught yourself on his shoulder as he pulled you close. His fingers brushed along the front of the cotton and forced your legs apart. He pushed the fabric aside and felt along your folds. He poked inside you roughly and growled. He rescinded his hand and stood suddenly.
He took the condom from the desk and held it out to you. “Put it on me.”
He was quick to pull up his flannel shirt and undo his jeans. He slid them down with his briefs and pulled himself out over the top. Your hands shook as you tore open the wrapped. You flicked it onto the desk as you held onto the rubber. You pressed it to his tip and slowly pushed the ring down his length so it stretched over him. He groaned as you reached his base.
“The chair. On your knees.” He ordered as his cock bobbed before him.
You gulped and climbed onto the chair, gripping the back as it threatened to tilt beneath you. He grabbed the arms and rolled it back until his cock pressed against your ass. He hooked his hand over your shoulder as his other guided his tip down. He slid your panties aside and poked around. You arched your back as he found your entrance and pushed inside slowly.
You were dry and the rubber hurt as he got deeper. You gasped and dug your nails into the leather. He pushed himself to his limit and snarled as he wiggled his hips. He thrust slowly and the chair shifted slightly. He took a deep breath and repeated the motion, harder, so that his flesh clapped against yours. The chair jolted beneath you.
“Fuck,” He rasped as he gripped the back of your neck and slid his hand around to grope your chest. “Maybe you can write about this, hmm?”
You braced yourself against the chair as it shook beneath you. He rutted into you harder and faster with each rock of his hips. Your body responded and his strokes grew slicker and smoother. You bit into the heel of your hand as you tried to keep quiet.
“Tonight…” He spoke as he kept on. “Three taps. You come to me. Got it?”
“Yes,” You croaked as you slapped your hand back against the chair.
His hand left your tit and stretched over yours on the leather. He clung to the chair as he pounded into even hard. You struggled to catch your breath as your core swelled. He didn’t relent as you whined and the share rocked noisily beneath you. Your thighs quaked as your orgasm bloomed and you choked on your voice.
He slammed into you over and over. The tails of his shirt tickled your ass as he did and your hips ached at the sheer force. He squeezed your neck and drew you back against him as he groaned. His hips slowed and he took long, ragged strokes as he came. He stifled his voice with a growl and stilled.
He pulled out and pushed you away so that the chair spun slightly under you. You slipped down to stop it, your ass tender as you righted yourself on the seat. He hummed as he slid the condom off and flung it into the bin of crumpled papers under your desk. You stood and stepped past him to gather your clothes.
“You wanted this,” He said as he tucked his cock away. “That’s why you write that garbage.”
“Shut up,” You hissed as you fixed your panties and shook out your pants. “Don’t talk about my writing.”
“Excuse me,” He grabbed your chin and forced you to stand straight, your foot caught in your pants as they crumpled to the floor again. “You really wanna keep pushing me?”
You glared at him, searching his face as he sneered back. His jaw ticked and you tore your eyes away.
“Sorry,” You uttered.
He scoffed and released you roughly. You stumbled and bent to pull your pants up. He watched as he crossed his arms.
“What happens if the old lady doesn’t get her pills?” He asked.
You took your shirt and stood abruptly. You hugged the thick fabric to your chest and frowned.
“Don’t…” You warned.
“I just want to be prepared.” He shrugged and grinned. “Just in case… something happens.”
“I’ll be good. Just leave her alone.” You stepped closer. “Whatever you want--”
“Whatever I want…” He bit his lip and his eyes drifted down. “Tonight, when you come in, don’t say a word. You get in the bed and suck my dick until I tell you to stop.” He winked and gave a low chuckle. “Oh and I got word that the yard isn’t going to be running tomorrow so… I wanna wake up the same way.”
You sniffed and glanced away. “Got it.”
He stepped closer and you shied away. He leaned in and kissed your forehead. “Good girl.”
🍂
The wet noises of your mouth were trapped beneath the blanket. Andy’s thick legs bent and tented the covers as your hand slid in time with your mouth. He was salty and slick. You held in a gag as he hit the back of your throat. Your stomach had felt off since you woke but you barely noticed your discomforts anymore for this man who had made himself a pestilence on your life.
His hands pressed against the back of your head as he urged you on. You let him. You had found in the last few weeks that it was easier to just give in. Appease him and it wasn’t so bad, though his persistence remained. Any hour he was there, any time your mother was disposed, he was on you.
You tried not to think of the e-mail you received the day before. A warning from the magazine. Your work was late and often time subpar. You needed to get your shit together. You knew why but that wasn’t a problem you could solve. No, that problem was halfway down your throat.
“Fuck, I’m gonna cum,” He rasped. “Oh--”
You pulled your mouth off of him and the blankets tangled around you as the sudden flip of your stomach had you frantic. You nearly fell off the bed as you pushed past his leg and brought your hand to your lips. The covers slipped from your shoulders and hung from the edge of the mattress as you wretched and your entire body tense. You looked around in panic and spewed into the dish of ancient potpourri that sat in the window ledge.
“What the fuck!” Andy sat up.
“I’m sorry… I don’t---” You put the dish down and wiped your mouth. “I don’t feel very well.”
“You’re sick?” He asked as he turned his legs over the edge of the bed.
“I think so. Stomach bug.” You said guiltily. “I’m sorry. I should’ve said something--”
“It’s okay, I don’t need your mouth,” He stood and crossed to you. He spun you around and pulled you back against him. “Bend over.”
“A condom--”
“I’ll pull out,” He smacked your ass and you bent over. He dragged you back onto his cock. “Fuck. You fucking edged me, you little bitch.”
“I didn’t-”
“Shut up,” He gripped your hips and rammed into you without relent. “You’re gonna clean that up. Then your mouth.” He growled. “Then we’ll try again.”
Your back ached as his pelvis crashed into your ass over and over. You let out a strangled cry and his breaths grew louder as they mingled with stifled curses. His hips stuttered and he sank into you with a startled grunt. He snarled as he spasmed and you felt his cum coat your walls.
“What the fuck?” You grabbed his hands and tried to shove them away. He clung to you and held himself deep inside of you as he purred. “Andy!”
“It’s alright,” He shuddered and slowly slipped out of you. He drew and hand back and slid his fingers through the cum that leaked from you and smeared it down your leg. “It’s too late to worry about all that.”
“What are you talking about?” You tore away from him and stood so fast it made you dizzy. “We’ve been safe. We--”
“That pill,” He pushed his tongue against the inside of his lip. “I switched the packaging. It was an anti-nausea pill.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” You grimaced. “Why would you do that?”
He shrugged and laughed. He sat heavily on the edge of the bed and pushed his shoulders back.
“I’m not. I can’t be.” You said. “You’re lying.”
“Only one way to find out,” He smirked. “We can go to town, get you a test today.”
“No, no, no,” You stormed towards him and pushed his shoulder. “No, it’s not true.”
“Shit,” He caught your wrists and sneered up at you. “What is your mother going to think?”
“Let go of me. You bastard!” You wriggled in his grasp. “You’re disgusting.”
“And you’re a slut.” He retorted. “But I’ve got a good job, I’ve shown I can manage the house, and I think…” He twisted your wrists until you whined. “I’m a pretty decent father.”
“Stop,” You hissed.
He chuckled and stood, holding your arms above you as he did. You were helpless as you struggled against him.
“I know you’ve never really had a man in the house,” He taunted. “But you’re just going to have to get used to it.” He let go of your left arm and twisted your right behind you as he spun you. “Hell, I think your mother will be happy. A real man to take care of the family.”
He held you to him and you felt his cock twitch against you. “I hate you.” You muttered.
“I know,” He preened. “But you’re stuck with me now.”
🍂 🍂 🍂 🍂
End Note: I’ve left this fairly open to interpretation but that being said, hope you all had fun!
#andy barber#dark!andy barber#dark andy barber#andy barber x reader#dark andy barber x reader#dark!andy barber x reader#au#lumberjack au#lumberjack#fic#series#short series#a place like this#defending jacob#dark fic#dark!fic
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