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Spending this late evening writing out some of the backstory for my shadow sorcerer changeling, Rut. 

Normally my backstories are a handful of paragraphs, or aprox one and half pages… this one is already on third page… but then normally the games are not planned to be whole Campaigns going from 1st to 20th lvl… and I may have found the state of mind for writing tonight.
Who knows.

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I honestly don’t expect anyone to read this but if you do, thank you.

I was born with hearing loss- so here is some things that I had to grow up with that I think Bakugou probably did too and that Mitsuki probably shared some experiences with my mom.

So I have Mild to Moderate hearing loss that mainly focuses on High Frequency sounds and I also have tinnitus. Obviously Bakugou wouldn’t have the same hearing loss as I do. However, I think that there will be a timeline/progression of his deafness, technology and experiences that I can comment on.

First of all its inevitable that Bakugou’s hearing will become worse the older he gets, with a quirk like explosion it is going to happen especially when he has been using it none stop throughout his developmental years, that’s nearly 10-12 years of close range explosions, therefore it is likely that he would have tinnitus as well. Hero work as at 18 all the way to early 50s if he is lucky which is 32 years of active service.


Aged 4-10 Mild Hearing Loss

It is likely that he had mild hearing loss. So this means that means that he would be a bit louder than his peers, quite possibly heavy footed to be able to hear himself, he would develop at the same pace as his peers, though at some points its harder to hear them, and his comprehension skills maybe less developed. However statistically children with hearing loss do worse in academia than their peers - though with his determination to be The Best, I doubt that he would let his hearing loss stop him or become an excuse. 

At this point Mitsuki would have looked into provisions for deaf children and technology that would help him in his day to day. She also would’ve taken him to sign language lessons and maybe some speech therapy might be necessary. At this point in my own childhood I was misdiagnosed with ADHD because I mimicked the behavioural patterns of the people around me and never knew that there were things I was missing this meant that nobody around me knew that I was deaf, it was only after both my mother and grandmother hounding the hospital for tests that I got a proper diagnosis. Therefore, it is possible that Young Bakugou mimicked certain behaviours of the people around him to make his deafness less noticeable.

Which leads me to my next point- there are specially made alarm clocks- I repeat DEAF people use ALARM CLOCKS. I saw a headcanon on tiktok that basically said that Bakugou goes to bed early because he can’t hear his alarm clock, I get where they’re coming from but this is the 21st century and research has gone into making life easier for deaf people which means that there is mostly likely an equivalent for deaf people. An alarm clock for deaf people usually flash and vibrate, so I think going to bed early is him just trying to get the required amount of sleep for his age range/ avoiding his classmates because surprisingly hearing makes you tired especially when you are actively listening. 

At this point he would also have very mild tinnitus, which means he could go weeks without hearing that high pitch whining/ ringing of a dissipating explosion/ the turning on of an old television (it is very different for everyone). 


11-14/15 Mild To Moderate Hearing Loss

At this point I feel that his hearing would have deteriorate much further, now reaching the mild to moderate stage, which I can only liken to being submerged in a body of water and hearing people talking above it. Now in the UK hospitals information pertaining hearing aids changed a little while after I got my first pair due to lack of funding and ‘necessity’ which meant that most children with my hearing would either not get hearing aids or get one, but if they are particularly lucky they might get two. I am not familiar enough about Japanese regulations, but it is likely that Bakugou would’ve gotten his first pair at this part of the timeline, probably at 11 or 12.

 My first pair were a full in ear mold that were inefficient and blocked some of what I could already hear so I’m going to use my most recent pair (December 2019 I received my ‘adult’ pair when I became part of the adult section of the deaf/hearing department at the hospital at 16) as an example, this pair has a clear insert that went inside the ear canal, which makes it invisible though there is the actual aid that hooks behind the ear can come in a multitude of colours available which means that flesh tone does exist and it is plausible that would be the colour he would go for as it less noticable. However, it is just as plausible that they would a bold colour as I don’t see Bakugou wearing his hearing aid religiously,it is most likely that he would wear them when he is out socially or training but not with his usual cohort. I doubt he would wear is hearing aids to school mainly because we do see him using his quirk in school and there is a risk of damaging his aids (which are very expensive). 

Also he would have gotten louder when speaking, footsteps louder and his room would be carpeted as it dampens the acoustics (softens the echos). When it comes to technology there is an attachment that can be attached to the bottom of the actual aid and can be plugged into his phone/MP3 player to convert his hearing aids into headphones without sacrificing hearing.

That’s what makes his hero costume so amazing, at least for me, is that he is paying attention to is hearing loss and trying to prevent more damage, I don’t know all the ins and outs of it but what I do know is that he has ear protectors as part of it which makes them very efficient, however there is the question of how much he can hear with them in.  

At this point he would be looking into a radio aid and microphone for school; a radio aid is what Bakugou would be wearing around his neck that is connected to the microphone which his teacher or lecturer would wear, it allows everything spoken by the teacher to go directly to the hearing aid which makes it easier to follow the lesson and directions. My teachers often repeat what other students are saying and write on the whiteboard/ dry erase board important points and spelling to make it easier for me and other students, they also print any powerpoints or lesson plan to help me out as well, so I can see the teachers of UA doing the something similar.

His tinnitus would have gotten worse as well, for me, my tinnitus becomes for frequent the more stressed I am and the frequency changes from ear to ear, my left is more frequent than my right, but what we would both share is that once it starts all hearing leaves the ear until it is over. this means that it could come every week/two weeks.


Aged 16- Mid 20s Moderate/Severe Hearing Loss

At this point in my life i can only properly comment on ages 16-18, because I will be turning 18 in latter part of this year, but cannot comment on what life would be like in the later years, except that Bakugou should be wearing his hearing aids more frequently and that his friends and colleagues should really be learning JSL.

16-18:  At this point the radio aid is definitely necessary, his hearing aids would be calibrated to suit his new hearing loss. His room would have to fitted with a system that connects to his door  and the fire alarm, so lights in his room will flash to let him know that something needs his attention, his friends should be making use of messaging age to get his attention, never just touch a deaf person to get their attention not only is it rude but it also trigger fight or flight- it is Likely the Bakugou is punch the person trying to gain his attention.


Aged 30-early 40s Severe Hearing Loss

Aged late 40s- 50s- Complete Deafness.

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Tumblr sure loves to mess with me ಠ_ಠ

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2021 baby ✨✨✨ ethereal and effortless. prosperity, growth and happiness. attracting all that’s good for you. health and wealth. inner peace and wishes coming true. facing your fears. living your dreams. accepting the ebb and flow of life. divine timing. meaningful relationships. new experiences. applying wisdom from the past. reaching your highest potential and seeing the beauty in life. fulfilling your hearts desires. graceful and grateful. new love and self love. blessings and good luck. 🕊

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Hello guys 👋👋👋

Finally, we did it. Finally. 2020 is over. And this is a new start.

I’ve seen a lot of people tagging me in a similar things, but y'all guys don’t know HOW MUCH you did for me.

You don’t know how much this year killed me inside. My mental health was already bad enough, and then all the other shit happened… I’m so lucky.

2 different persons (not gonna say who), mutuals I learned to know this year on tumblr, told me about how they’re doing right now, how much everything affected them, how close they were.

I guess I should tell you all too how close I was, this year.

3 times. 3 times I thought I would really, really do it. 3 times I thought I wouldn’t do it till tomorrow.

15 times I self harmed. That was in the first months of 2020, then I stopped.

I lost 4 close persons I knew. 4 persons that will never wake up again.

And there were different persons who saved me and don’t even know when and how. They’ll never do.

I did lot of things this year, I drew and I’ve read and wrote and I’ve definitely watched too much Netflix. And because I wanted to do something special for the end of this GIANT AMOUNT OF SHIT, here is what I did. First, I drew. A drawing that took me so many hours. I wanted to color it, so:


Fireworks look like this, right?

Then, for some reason, I made a moodboard about 2020


I don’t even know why

And then, I decided to write you a little reminder.

You are worth it. No matter how hard it seems there is always gonna be a person who cares about you. You just have to find this person. How I know this person exists?

Because I’m that guy. I don’t care what you’re going through, I’m always gonna try to help you. You’re an angel, because some angels have to live and some have to die.

And now, you’re a living angel, and one day you’ll become a dead one, but until that day enjoy being a living one!!

You still have a lots of Netflix shows to watch, you still have a lot of Among Us games to win, you still have a lot of songs to shuffle, you still got a lot of gay ships to ship, you still have a lot of apocalypses to survive, you still have to see a lot of cute kirby pictures! You probably still have to follow me.

Everything you need is on this world. I’ve never seen Heaven. How do you know Heaven is good? Maybe it isn’t. Maybe it was only a giant lie and you’re just gonna arrive in a white room where there is nothing to do and you have to listen to country music all the day (i hate country music, sorry). You don’t know, and it’s always better to stay in the hell you know than in the one you haven’t seen yet.

I hope you can remember that. You probably won’t, at the worst moment, but maybe, before it arrives at that point… Bro/sis, stay strong, stay strong for me and for the world, because we both need you.

Not gonna lie, I can’t believe you’re still reading. You know, at this point I’m just gonna tag people I wanna wish Happy New Year, and I hope I don’t forget anyone…

@666-notsatan I just appreciate everything about you. You write amazing fanfictions, you have a wonderful character and you survive fucking fires!! (I would’ve probably just panicked and would’ve died passed out on the floor) AND YOU’RE 5'7… *sad face*

@youngreckless Did you know you were my first follower follower/mutual ever? You got me started on all this. You were my first friend on this site. Gotta thank you for this. You’re perfect. End.

@rinadragomir I feel like I can trust you so hard, and I think you do trust me a lot, and you do beautiful edits, and you’re just such an awesome mutual. I don’t deserve you 😔

Also some other people…

@sophiescones @deathwithoutacause @kit-12 @genken64 @itsdaughterofthemoon @livvyheronstairs @lucian-evander @my-archerboy @augyshit @don-din-min-man @autumnangel20 @shady-duck @tamaraheartz @yeah-but-is-it-legal @textrovert-01 @sofiastars04 @rosewine-noquack

To every single one of my followers aaaand to you, person who made it to the end. I’m proud of you. You’re amazing. Remember that, please.

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Omg I’m so sorry I just saw this message AGSJAHDJ

Dude I totally get you. Sometimes you just like. You really want to be social but it’s hard???? I hope you stop by here if it’s hard to reach out to irl people


I’ve been alright tho! We’ll see how the holiday season goes lol. And omg I have not listened to any new music but,,,,,

My go to is ALWAYS AJR, two door cinema clubs, and glass animals.

“FUVK somebody” by the wrecks is great too. And the rest of their songs!

I’ve actually been listening to a bit of jpop and other Japanese genre songs. So like a few notable favorites would have to be:

  • Tokyo Flash by Vaundy
  • Togenkyo to taxi by mega shinnosuke
  • Tulip by Indigo la end
  • Okay tbh any song from indigo la end
  • Also anything by Polka Dot stingray
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Okay, so… time for a vague announcement, because I’m currently alone and unsupervised and bored - and really, y'all should know better than to leave me that way, so here goes -

takes a deep breath and shouts into the void

Suck it!! I have a gf now and I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my life!! She’s the prettiest girl I’ve ever met and I love her and she makes me happy..! AND SHE’S A DIANA!!! 💚

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How do you talk to someone who you feel you’re annoying simply by doing that? I get an annoyed vibe sometimes in dms. Maybe annoyed isn’t it. I don’t want to say she doesn’t care as much anymore, but that’s what I feel sometimes. I know I’ve been a lot at times, and nobody wants to hear complaining, so I just don’t say much, if anything. Neither does she. I think I’ve apologized for my distance, maybe even before the pandemic, and talked about the reason for it. I know she cares, so why do I think she doesn’t?

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<div> —  for whoever needs it </div><span>You’re more worth than you think</span>
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okay soooo I just reblogged and queued a ton of text posts from one if my favorite blogs so sorry for that spam both now and in a few days

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I’ve been a shitty person to you recently.

Making things worse, sending paragraphs, confusing my feelings, and everything else under the blanket of being a bad friend. I know that, eventhough I’ve forgiven you, you don’t forgive me or trust me but just know - even if you hate me - I’m always here, and I’ll always be a text/DM away if you ever need me.

Thank you for always listening, trying, and putting your time, energy, and effort into our friendship.

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tw : transphobia and homophobia and kinda family issues

okay im really sorry but like im fuckin angry right now i swear i’ll post art tomorrow i have a sketch in progress.

So i was conversing with my dad while walking my dog and eventually our conversation led to the show Adventure Time. I talked about the new epilogue episode series, which the newest episode covers the relationship between PB and Marceline. So i’m explaining it to him and how it’s about Bubbaline and he says “ugh i don’t like how they made them lesbians near the end.” and im like

“wwhat” and he says “they were totally catering towards the feminists at the end of the show.” and that doesnt make any fuckign sense because their whole dynamic was super implied throughout the WHOLE DAMN SHOW like holy shit you have to be hella clueless in order to think that PB and Marcy were just really close friends this whole time.



And then i explain this to him and he tries to change his argument to “that stuff shouldn’t be in kids shows because it’s gay” and that gets me even MORE FUCKING MAD BRUH LIKE?? ITS OKAY WHEN ITS A STRAIGHT KISS MULTIPLE TIMES THROUGHOUT THE SHOW BUT ONE GAY KISS?? HEreSY DISGUSTING UNHOLY.
and so i say “well it’s good to show that stuff to kids early so they know that its okay to be gay and to be accepting of the LGBTQ+ community.” and HE SAYS-
“it’s just unnatural and i don’t want my kids being exposed to that stuff”


so then I call him out for being homophobic and he says some bullshit about how he’s somehow “not homophobic” and so i’m like

“It’s okay to be gay tho.” and he agrees with me
“but i don’t want my kids being influenced by that” he says
“oh i dont have a problem with people being artists i just don’t want my kids to become an artist or something because they looked at art shows when they’re young”

he’s also been super weird about pushing towards looking at girls for some reason?? Like i was at the beach and looking at this cute ass dog and my dad pokes me and says “aren’t there other things you should be looking at” and i’m like wdym? and he’s like “there are girls here” and that came off as SUPER WEIRD to me so i was like “um no that’s weird pls stop” and he got all defensive so… I think he’s really trying to push me towards being straight but im disastrously bisexual so thatss not happening.

This isn’t the first time he’s been anti-lgbt tho, he made some super fucking transphobic comments about gender-fluid people, and nonbinary people as well. It gets me really fucking mad that he just actively dismisses me whenever i try to change his POV saying that i’m just a kid and i don’t know what i’m talking about. I HATE IT ARGHGHGHGEHAHNIDIWSJDNAIJDN.

my mom isn’t much better either, she kinda added onto his comment on NB people which makes me sad cause she’s actually a lot more accepting than he is and she’s STILL TRANSPHOBIC.

now i’m fucking scared to come out as bi to my family cause my dad might disown me. 

btw the new adventure time was really good i strongly recommend watching it if u have hbo max

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Manuel Neuer doesn’t deserve all this hate. He had one bad game that technically wasn’t his fault. 😠

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