Patched Hearts | L.HS
「pairing」 : bf!heeseung x fem!reader
「word count」 : 3.5k
「synopsis」 : you go searching for your boyfriend after realizing that he has forgotten your anniversary. however, the fear and anxiety tell you that he just didn't care, heeseung was determined to prove to you just how much he cares and how sorry he is.
「genre」 : angst, comfort, smut, fluff
「warning」 : cussing, mental health issues (anxiety, overthinking, etc...), unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), shower sex, make-out session, fingering, slight marking, petnames (baby, princess, good girl...), praising, creampie, heeseung just being sweet, lmk if I missed anything!
「note」 : I turned the small drabble I wrote into a full fic for all of you who asked for it!! I feel like it kinda of fell off the deep end towards the end, but overall I really like how it turned out :) I hope y'all enjoy it!
The rain had started right before you walked up to their front door, drenching you from head to toe seeing as you had no way of protecting yourself. The raindrops covered the tear streaks that had stained your cheeks from the tears that had fallen moments ago. Lighting cracked in the back, muffling the sound of your sobs.
You wanted to knock on the door, you knew that they wouldn’t care, they never did. Hell Jay would probably give you an earful, but you wished you were here on more happy terms. You wished you didn’t have to track down your boyfriend only to find him at his friends house. He never responded to any of your texts and all of your calls would ring until eventually going to voicemail. It was tearing you apart because you didn’t know what you did wrong, why he would forget such an important day and ignore you on top of it all.
You raised your hand to knock, but there was a hesitation in your movements. You were scared—scared of the rejection, scared of the confrontation, terrified to see Heeseung mad at you. There was a little voice in your head that was telling you to just forget about it, that you were sure he just hadn’t seen the date, telling you to forgive him and keep from arguing because arguments normally led to yelling, and you hated yelling.
Just as you were about to turn and walk away from the house, the door swung open. Jake was taken aback to see you standing there, eyes wide as you looked up at him. He was just as shocked as you were, if not more, because why hadn’t you knocked yet? And why were you just standing in the rain?
“Y/n, what the hell are you doing?” He finally spoke, causing you to jump at the tone of his voice. Was he mad? Did you really do something to cause Heeseung to come running to his friends? You tried to rack your brain for anything that could have happened, but the more you dug, the more it started to hurt your head.
Before you could dwell any further, you felt your body being pulled before you could even register it. You were standing at the entrance of Jake and Jay’s house. Your body shivered at the sudden temperature change, a sneeze threatening to break through.
“Stay here. I’m going to get a towel.” Jake’s voice was softer this time, causing your brows to scrunch together.
Jake could clearly see that something was wrong. You were never this quiet, never so out of it as you were. He was shocked to see you standing on the porch, drenched in water as if you had been standing there for a while. Heeseung had said that you were going to stay home because you had a test you wanted to study for, so why were you here now?
The questions continued to eat at his brain as he walked down the hall, stopping at the entrance of the game room, where they were all huddled.
“Hee, your girl is here,” he said, jabbing a thumb over his shoulder. The silver-haired male looked at Jake, confused. You hadn’t told him you were coming; in fact, he hadn’t heard from you all day. That’s what he thought, at least until he reached for his phone, only to realize that it wasn’t on him.
“Fuck.” He cursed under his breath as he stood from his seat, meeting Jake at the door as he was walking back with a towel which only confused the male further. Jake rolled his eyes before shoving the towel into Heeseung’s chest, annoyance pooling in his eyes.
“She’s drenched, and I'm pretty sure she’s been standing out in the rain.” Jake’s words sent a wave of panic through Heeseung’s body. Why the hell would you just stand in the rain? Or even forget your umbrella?
Grabbing the towel, he walked past Jake towards the front door. As soon as he laid his eyes on you, he knew something was wrong. He, however, pushed that to the side as he wrapped the towel around your body, pulling you close.
“Why the hell were you just standing out there?” Your heart skipped as his voice engulfed you, and your eyes trailed up to meet his.
Heeseung could tell that you had been crying; your eyes were bloodshot, making the color of your iris' stand out. Concern and worry etched themselves into his skin, and his hand came up to cup your face in his palms.
“Baby, what’s wrong?” His voice was softer this time, causing more tears to pull in your eyes, and your bottom lip started to tremble once more.
Heeseung could feel his heart breaking, he hated seeing you like this, wanting nothing more than to make you feel better. He needed to know the source first, though; needed to know who had hurt his precious baby.
“You’ve been ignoring me.” The way your voice came out so broken and hoarse was enough to completely shatter Heeseung’s heart.
“No, no, baby, I left my phone in the car by accident. I wasn’t ignoring you, I swear.” His reassurance mended your heart a little bit.
Key word: little bit
That still left the underlying issue that he had forgotten about your anniversary. You didn’t wanna speak it into existence in case it started an argument. That was the last thing you wanted right now. Heeseung could tell that there was more than what you were letting on; leaning forward, he pressed a kiss to your forehead, noticing how cold your body was. “Fuck baby, you’re freezing. Come on, I’m sure Jay or Jake have some-”
“It’s our anniversary, Heeseung.” The words tumbled from your lips before you could even stop them. Your hand immediately came up to cover your mouth, and your wide doe eyes looked up at him. Confusion pooled in his eyes; he was sure that it was next week.
“It’s not until next week, though, beautiful.” He sounded so sure of himself that his eyebrows scrunched together in confusion.
Your breath hitched in your throat, words failing to be spoken, but your eyes did all the talking for you. Heeseung cursed under his breath before pressing a soft kiss on your forehead once more, then making a beeline for the game room. Not even a few seconds later, he was making his way back to you, his jacket in his hand.
You stood still as he pulled the towel off of your body before draping his oversized jacket over your shoulder. His scent instantly fills your senses and brings you some kind of comfort. You weren’t angry; you weren’t even angry, to begin with. No, you were scared. Scared that he knew but just didn’t care. Scared that he had finally grown tired of you. Scared that-
Your thoughts were cut short when Heeseung cupped your face bringing his lips to yours. It was soft, almost a ghost of a kiss, but enough to fill your frigid body with warmth.
“Whatever you’re thinking, stop. Nothing that your brain is telling you is true, baby.” His voice was low enough for only you to hear, and tears brimmed in your eyes once more, your bottom lip pulled between your teeth.
Heeseung knew how easy it was for you to get into your head and start overthinking things. He knew that if he let you continue that you would only start to pick yourself apart, and he’d be damned if he was going to let that happen because of his mistakes.
“Jake, I’m taking your umbrella.” He called down the hall, not even giving the younger boy a chance to protest as he opened the door and ushered you out.
The whole car ride back home was filled with the soft sounds of the radio station playing and the rain that was still pouring outside. Heeseung would whisper sweet words to you every so often when he noticed that your mind was drifting, his hand squeezing your thigh comfortingly.
Even if his words flowed into your ears effortlessly, they didn’t quite stick; the fear was etched too deep into your soul. A part of you was telling you that he wasn’t mad at all and you were just overthinking everything, but a bigger, much bigger part of you was telling you that he was just waiting for the moment that you two were finally behind locked doors for him to blow up at you. Expecting him to scream and yell about how you interrupted his time with his friends just for some stupid anniversary that he had missed.
“Baby?” Heeseung’s eyes flickered over to your figure, taking in the tear streaks that had been left behind on your cheeks from crying. The guilt of it being his fault was eating at him, and he wanted nothing more than to make it up to you.
Your gaze broke from the rain-clad trees outside, and you looked over to meet your boyfriend's eyes. Just then, you realized that you were no longer moving; you had made it home. Heeseung squeezed your thigh one last time before leaning over to unbuckle your seatbelt.
All of the blood ran cold in your body. This wasn’t anything new; Heeseung had done this a million times before. So why did it feel so different this time? Why did it feel like he was telling you to get out? That small voice in the back of your head was screaming at you to run before he got mad and started yelling. With a shaky hand, you start reaching for the door handle, but Heeseung’s fingers wrap around your wrist, stopping you.
“What are you doing?” Heeseung asked with a tinge of hurt in his tone causing you to look over at him with wide eyes, lips parted slightly. “You just sit here, and I’ll get the door-” He leans over, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead, making your eyes flutter, “It's my job after all, princess.”
You nodded softly before sitting back in the seat. Heeseung smiled widely before scurrying out of the car after grabbing the umbrella. Your body jolted slightly when his door shut a bit harder than intended due to the harsh winds. Your eyes followed your boyfriend's figure as he walked around the car before he came to your door.
Heeseung opened the door swiftly before standing in front of it so it wouldn’t close on you. You swung your legs out of the car, standing on shaky legs. The wind was cold, probably due to your still-soaked clothes, but your boyfriend’s taller figure blocked quite a bit of the precipitation and chilly winds.
“Hold this,” Heeseung whispered softly, your ears barely picking it up over the wind, but you did as told. Grabbing the umbrella from his warm hand, confused. However, before you could question him, he bent down, sweeping your body up into his arms. A small sound of surprise fell from your lips, your free hand clutching onto his shirt as your heart beat loudly in your ears. Heeseung chuckled softly before kicking the car door closed. “Let's get you inside and warm up baby.”
Heat rushed up your neck, dusting your cheeks a light shade of red. You just buried your face in the crook of his neck, trying to ignore the way his chest vibrated from his laughter.
Getting into the house, Heeseung had you close the umbrella before tossing it off to the side somewhere. He was unbothered at the moment by whether it was put away properly. No, he had one thing on his mind right now.
And that was you.
Making his way into your shared bedroom, you were ready to be sat back down on your feet. However, when your body shifted even a little, Heeseung’s grip got tighter, not allowing you to go anywhere. Your heart lurched into your throat when you looked up to study his face. Even though his body seemed relaxed, his jaw was tight, and there was a gleam in his eyes that you couldn’t quite place.
Walking into the bathroom, Heeseung flipped the light switch on before walking over to the counter. Setting your body down, he was quick to slot himself between your legs, hands on either side of your hips, caging you in. Your breath hitched in your throat when you met his eyes, seeing the multitude of emotions that swirled in his chocolate orbs.
“I’m so sorry, baby,” His voice cracked, and your hands flew up, taking his face in your palms. “I should have paid more attention to the date…”
“Hee…” Your heart broke, and that little voice in the back of your head diminished the longer you watched as tears filled your boyfriend’s eyes. “You don’t have to apologize; it’s okay.”
“It’s not okay thought,” His eyes bore into yours, your thumb swiped away the few tears that had fallen from his eyes, “I fucked up and missed such an important day. Hell, I made you cry, made you think I didn’t care…” He continued to ramble on until you pulled him closer, sealing your lips over his, silencing his words.
Heeseung didn’t hesitate to kiss you back, pressing his lips firmly against yours. The kiss was passionate and wet as his tongue swept across your teeth. His hands gripped your hip, pulling your body flush against his. You were the first to pull away, watching with hooded eyes as he chased after your lips. He was quick to capture your lips once more, stealing the air from your lungs as he sucked on your bottom lip after biting it softly.
After a few moments, he pulled away, resting his forehead against yours, eyes locked on yours. Your hands slipped around his neck while he snaked his hands around your waist pulling you closer, leaving no space between your bodies. You shifted your hips, trying to relieve some of the built-up pressure, only to feel his growing bulge brush against your core.
A hiss fell from Heeseung’s lips as he let his head drop to your neck, kissing and nipping at the sensitive skin. “Let me make it up to your princess. Let me show you how sorry I am.”
It was like the fog had finally lifted from your brain; the little voices screaming at you died with every kiss that Heeseung laid on your skin. Any thought telling you Heeseung didn’t want you dissipated as his teeth grazed over your jugular. The chill that was slowly overtaking your body was being replaced with an indescribable warmth as his hands trailed along the length of your body.
The nod of your head followed by the breathy ‘please’ was all Heeseung needed before stripping you of your soaked clothes. A shiver ran through your body as your bare skin hit the air around you. Heeseung, however, didn’t leave you too long before he was back on your skin. His warm mouth kissed down your neck to your collarbone before finding your breast.
“Hee-” You gasped as his mouth latched onto one of your nipples while his fingers squeezed and flicked the other. Your back arched against him, head falling back slightly. He let go of your perk bud with an audible ‘pop,’ causing you to let out a breathy sigh before kissing back up your neck, stopping just below your ear.
“Be a good girl and sit here and look pretty while I turn on the shower.” He instructed before moving away from your body. A whine fell from your lips at the loss of contact, but you did as told regardless.
Your eyes never left his body as he stepped back, tearing his shirt off of his body and walking to the shower. Heeseung turned the tap on until it was warm enough for the two of you. You watched the muscles in his back flex as he messed with the knobs, thighs clenching together.
Warmth spread throughout your body when his eyes landed back on you. Walking back over, he found his spot between your thighs once more, hands massaging the plush flesh of your thighs.
“Come on, let’s warm you up.” He smiled softly before pulling you off of the counter, keeping your body steady as you shimmied out of the rest of your clothes. Your hands then went to Heeseung’s belt, undoing to buckle, causing him to chuckle.
It didn’t take too long before Heeseung had you pressed against the cool tile of the shower, his lips against yours as his fingers worked in and out of your drenched cunt. The whimpers that fell from your lips were like music to his ears; the burn your nails left on his shoulders felt good, too good.
“Hee- fuck, please.” You cried out as his thumb pressed against your clit, coaxing your orgasm even closer. Heeseung leaned against you, pressing a soft kiss against your temple before letting his fingers slip from your tight hole.
“Lift your leg for me, baby.” He mumbled against your skin.
Lifting your leg, you let him slip his arm underneath before lifting the other until he was holding you up between his body and the shower wall. A moan slipped past your parted lips when you felt his tip brush between your folds.
Heeseung sealed your lips with his as he pushed into your tight walls, a groan tearing through his throat as you practically sucked him in. Your head fell back when he bottomed out, allowing him to press wet kisses on your neck, adding to the marks that were already showing from earlier.
Once the initial pain from the stretch faded, all of your nerves were set aflame, wanting nothing more than to have him deep inside you. Leaning forward to capture his lips with yours once more, letting him swallow all of your gasp when you rolled your hips against his.
“Hee, move, please.” You whined, kissing the corner of his mouth, rolling your hips once more.
Heeseung groaned before pressing your body further against the wall and thrusting up into you; his pace was slow but deep, making your eyes roll back.
Heeseung watched as he easily made your mind drift off somewhere other than where it had been. Your eyes squeeze shut every time he brushes over your sweet spot. Your mouth opens as gasps and moans fall from it. The way your walls would flutter around him every time his tip kissed your cervix.
There were hardly any words spoken, but the emotions were more than enough to convey the feeling between the two of you. His slow thrust is different from his normal harsh and fast pace. Your grip on him is tight enough to leave bruises, scared that he’d slip between your fingers.
Both of your orgasms crept up quickly. Your body shook with pleasure not only from Heeseung being in you but also from the water stream coming down between your bodies, hitting your clit perfectly. Groans fell from Heeseung’s lip only to be muffled by yours as your walls squeezed around him.
“I’m close, Hee…” You told him, breathly, nails digging into his biceps. His hips snapped into yours, and a small moan fell from his lips.
“Me too, baby,” He pressed further into you until a choked moan tore through your lips, face falling into the crook of his neck.
Heeseung continued to piston his hips into your cervix until your body was trembling in his hands as you came undone around him. Your orgasm set off his. He panted against your hair as he fucked his cum into you until you begged him to stop because of the sensitivity.
After you both came down from your highs, Heeseung held you close, still buried balls deep in your pussy, whispering sweet words in your ear.
“How about we wash up and watch a movie?” he whispered, pressing a kiss to your temple.
“Can we get ice cream?” you mumbled against his skin, causing him to chuckle softly, but he nodded nonetheless.
“It might be a little late to get some delivered, but I think there’s some in the freezer.” He smiled widely when you pulled back to face him with a small smile of your own. Pulling you close, he pressed a sweet, lingering kiss on your jaw, “God, I love you so fucking much.”
You ran your fingers through his damp locks, a sweet smile overtaking your features, “I love you too, Hee.”
After cleaning up in the cold water, you two did not realize you had been at it long enough to make the water turn cold. You curled up in your cozy bed with a bowl of ice cream, watching movies, not caring how late it had gotten.
Heeseung looked over at you fondly as you started to drift off against his arm, swearing that he would never forget another anniversary or even a birthday. Anything to keep that look of hurt off of your face, wanting nothing more than to see your bright smile every day.
@alvojake | Do not steal, plagiarise, translate, or repost any of my work
𝖉𝖎𝖘𝖈𝖑𝖆𝖎𝖒𝖊𝖗 : ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ɴᴏ ᴡᴀʏ ᴀ ᴛʀᴜᴇ ʀᴇᴘʀᴇꜱᴇɴᴛᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏꜰ ᴀɴʏ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀꜱ. ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ᴘᴜʀᴇʟʏ ꜰɪᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴛᴀᴋᴇɴ ꜱᴇʀɪᴏᴜꜱʟʏ.
𝖙𝖆𝖌𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙 : @heesitation @riftanswhore @yeonzzzn @yzzyhee @skzenhalove @seuomo @moonchus @enha-stars @ikeuverse @prized-jules @ro-diaries @yeonjunsfox @luvyong2z @snoopypupp @wonnie99 @pockettwinzz
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PETNAMES, M. VERSTAPPEN.
CONTENT WARNINGS. female reader, explicit content.
Max likes to call you schat or mijn liefje because you get all flustered every time he speaks Dutch. And says it with a playful smile on his face because he knows the effect that is going to have on you.
Max calls you sweatheart — this is probably the one he uses the most — when he’s teasing you or trying to make you forgive him for something he definitely didn’t do but you’re accusing him of nonetheless; of course he’s not going to ask, he will simply ask for your forgiveness. Also when he’s addressing you and asking something simple as “What would you like for dinner, sweetheart?” or something else like “I think you should use the green dress because it really brings out your eyes, sweetheart.”
Max calls you sweetie to annoy you — you don’t like it, so he makes sure to call you sweetie in front of your friends knowing that you would never call him out for it. But he likes seeing you plaster on a smile while leaning against him, your hand sneaking from behind to pinch him on the side. It hurts, but he likes riling you up too much to care.
Max calls you princess when feeling extra attentive and wants to give you everything. You could ask him to give you the moon and he will find a way to make that possible. It happens when you’re out in Monaco or exploring the different cities he has to travel to for work, most of the time. If he sees you looking at a purse for longer than a minute, he won’t hesitate to ask “Do you want that purse, princess?” and even when he’s carrying so many shopping bags that you think he will complain (he never does), Max still asks “You got everything you wanted, princess? We can keep looking if you want.”
Max calls you love or babe when you’re arguing and he’s stressed and tired and doesn’t want to keep fighting. He will try to calm you both down by saying something like “I’m going for a walk, love. Because I can’t keep doing this.” and he’d grab his keys and go for a walk until it’s safe enough to go back home. The first thing leaving his lips will be a “Hey, babe. Can we talk now?” and then you’d spend the whole night trying to make things right, making promises of communicate better.
Max calls you doll when he feels smitten and wants attention but doesn’t know how to ask for it. But you know what he wants because it is the only occasion he really uses it. It is said with a head held low and blushed cheeks “What you doing, doll?” and you’ll stop what you’re doing immediately, if it’s important you will move things aside to make room for him to cuddle next to you. Other times the word rolls from his mouth like a purr “You look pretty today, doll.” while rubbing his head against your arm like a cat.
Max calls you baby when he’s buried deep inside of you, feeling so good that the only words falling from his lips are praises followed by a baby, baby, baby. He says it desperate, when you are riding him and he wants to buck his hips up, but you told him to be a good boy and wait, and he wants to be good for you so badly. He says it breathless when your walls are squeezing the life out of his cock and your climax is approaching. He says it roughly, demanding, while pushing your head against the pillows and thrusting as deep as he can because “You will take what I give you, baby. If I say you can’t come, then you won’t, you understand?” He says it in a whisper when he’s making love to you, rolling his hips slowly as you feel tears streaming down your face because of how intense everything is, “You’re doing so good for me, baby. The prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.”
Max Verstappen is an avid petname user, but would most definitely deny it if anyone were to ask him.
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I Don’t Forgive You || LN4 x reader
Warnings: Angst (ish), we all need somebody like Oscar
Wordcount: 0.5k
This is pt. 2 of Nattely
I’ve already decided on a pt. 3, but I don’t know when I’ll get around to writing it
Tag list: @e-nonsense @babyprofessorsharkpalace
When she heard the knock, she debated if it was worth getting up for. She decided for it anyway
She paused her show, pulled the blanket off of her and walked over to the door. She unlocked it and opened it
“What do you want?” She opened the door to be met with Lando standing in front of her
“Can we talk?” She didn’t really want to, but she couldn’t just say no “Please?” His eyes looked so innocent down at her
She didn’t say anything, but she stepped to the side, giving him space to walk in “Thank you” He sighed before walking past her
“I miss you” He said, searching for her eyes, but she stared down in the floor “I really do, and I’m so sorry”
“It’s crazy how you loved her after just two weeks” She finally met his eyes, but something else stirred in them that never she never showed
“What? How’d y-“ He didn’t get to finish his sentence before she interrupted him
“Oscar. I talked with Oscar. He called me after you told him” She said, anger lingering in her voice
“Oscar called you?” He seamed surprised, knowing that she was friends with Oscar as well
“Yes. You got a problem with that?” She scoffed and shifted her position to shift her weight onto one foot
“No. No, not at all” She shook his head slightly
There was a silence before he spoke up again “I’m not here to say I want you back, because I don’t, I just want us to be friends again”
“I hope she breaks your heart so casually” He looked confused again “I don’t forgive you” But I still fucking miss you
“I just-“ He stopped his own sentence before finishing it
“I saw a picture of her. She looks like me” She said, crossing her arms over her chest
“She acts like you too” She said low, looking into the ground avoiding her eyes
“Trust me, I’m in every other girl you meet. You see god’ll bring you back to me” Her words brought his head back up “I hope you think she’ll never leave and then break’s your heart so casually” She smiled cheekily
“Fuck this. This was a mistake” He walked towards the door “I’m sorry for disturbing your night” He walked out of the apartment, not looking back
You drive away. Guess today’s the last time I’ll see your face “Hopefully” She muttered to herself
She slumped back down on the couch. She looked at her phone shortly before picking it up. She hesitated, but she eventually called Oscar
”Hey. What’s up?” He asked once he picked up the phone
She sighed before speaking “He was here. Said he missed me. Wanted to be friends again. Admitted to not wanting me back” She chuckled, feeling small tears starting to form in the corners of her eyes
”He’s an asshole. Here’s what’s gonna happen. Next time I’m in Monaco, I’m gonna come over to you with ice cream. Sounds good?” She chuckled at his offer
“Yeah. Yeah, that sounds good”
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“under the burning hill” ; aventurine
premise — you say you know him, what will he choose?
tags — angst, with comfort if you squint, mentions of death, a lot of metaphors, spoilers to his backstory, i seriously don’t know how to tag this one, not proofread, 0.9k words; ficlet
tagging — @toorurs
note — i once cried to those tiktok slideshows that are like “if you really know your mother/self/father/sister/brother, what will they choose?” and then this fic happened. this is NOT my celebration fic for getting him, i have different one in my drafts
you say you know aventurine, what is he choosing?
a chance to be with his family again
he dreamt of flowers and gardens, of empty fields and large floating clouds, of tears and warmth, and he knelt into the dream where he felt the warmth of his sister’s hug and the soothing melody of his mother’s song. he buries his corpse who knew his father’s voice and how he would hold his child. in his dreams, he is good and he is loved.
he had nightmares of blood and fire, of wounds and tainted, dirty clothes, of screams and cries, and he’ll run away from the blades that will chase him, his body will become a corpse along with many others as he hides in the bloody waters. he has known death even before he saw his reflection.
and when he awakes from this, he’ll find himself in an empty bedroom despite the corners and the walls adorned with furniture, decoration, and dust. he’ll find himself alone—waking up yet he’s still in a nightmare. his family isn’t there.
for his shackles to never exist
the chain suffocates him—there’s the harsh smell of rusting metal and the cold tug of the chain when he moves his hand. his clothes are tattered, the collar and the hems burned off, and he stands before the eyes that scrutinizes and looks down on his existence. their gaze leaves letters that burn on his skin and it forms into a scar that will never heal, a reminder of what he is meant to be and will always be.
but he walks in the streets in flamboyance, the chain never seen on his wrist and neck as if it never once touched him. he treads the line of freedom and restriction recklessly and like a bird who has never known how to spread its wings, he could never reach far into the sky.
the form of his shackles have changed; it doesn’t mean he also has.
to stop the tremble of his hands
he fiddles with his fingers, adjusts the way his watch rests on his wrist—he keeps his hand busy and hidden. he wears a smile on his lips and utters such words filled with confidence as he places his bet, as he gambles his life, yet he desperately tries to conceal the way his hands tremble as he clutches on to his chips.
he wagers his life as if his existence was only a mere chip on the table, but it’s the only control he’ll ever have over himself.
an apology
he has dealt with scornful gazes and harsh remarks, has dwelled on the hidden meaning behind people’s words. he’s all too familiar with the cruel and unkind thread that weaves into their tongue as they speak—some may sing praises to him yet their eyes would harbor only hatred and disgust.
he wishes someone would ask for his forgiveness, but why would he even deserve one? what did he even do to deserve one? what did he do? does his existence outweigh the heaviness of a single syllable the word carries? was he worthy of one? does he even have any worth?
he can only let their gaze taint his skin, rearrange the letters of the words they utter into the one he will never hear.
(he has never forgiven himself either.)
to finally let go
how bruised are his knees and how long will he repent for the sins he has never committed?
he holds on to his burden as if it was a part of him, as if he’ll be nothing but an empty vessel if he loses his hold on it. he knows it's holding him down, knows it's making his hands bleed but it’s everything and the only thing he has known for—the thorns has been engraved into his palm and became part of his skin. he’ll stuff his mouth full of rotten food and leave his stomach empty, and he’ll believe this is what he’s made for.
perhaps when he'll finally find a place to put everything down, he’ll learn how it feels to live for himself and not for the things he carries.
you say you know kakavasha, what is he choosing?
to never have to say goodbye
farewell is a form of poetry and he is a poem.
in most days, he’ll hear his sister’s voice in the empty corridors of his home, he’ll hear the echoes and follow him into places she could never reach (his wishes will never be enough to save her). he’s haunted by the unspoken farewells and the goodbyes he is forced to make, watching their backs as they leave or his own.
(he wishes he never knew the word.)
(his child self) having a conversation with future him
children are bound with endless dreams and light to see into the dark as they walk into their future—he was (once) one of them. he’ll stay up at night wondering what’s ahead of him, grasping on to what little left of his hope that things will become better, and when he sleeps, he’ll dream of talking to his future self.
“are you happy?”
if he’ll have a conversation with his future self, he’ll tell him everything and anything, make him recall the memories lost when growing up, trace the stars with him as he asks him the questions he’s curious to know the answer to (his future self will know him inside out but he, the child he once was, will never know him). and maybe he’ll put their palms together once he notices his agitation—and he’ll see the differences of their hands and notice the dying light in their eyes—as they ask for their god’s blessings.
he’ll tell him: everything will be okay, even when he’ll only be met with silence.
(get onstage
fear not
never look back.)
© azullumi — do not plagiarize, copy, repost, nor translate any of my works.
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Tell Me What You Want
pairing - scott monroe, sam monroe 🍒
summary - sam and scott are twins, both have a crush on you.
part 5! of tell me what you want
Scott stayed over at his friends house for a whole week. He had texted his parents that he was staying over, but not with a reason. He was old enough to make his own decisions, so they had only told him they loved him and to be safe. Scott explained the whole story to his friend, Ray. The poor boy cried his heart out to Ray after explaining it all. Scott was never the kind of guy to think being emotional was stupid or something to be ashamed of. Neither was Ray. “You'll find another girl, Scott. She doesn't deserve you.”
“Ray, you don't get it. I don't want somebody else! I want her. I've always wanted her.” He sniffled, making Ray sigh. He knew how much you meant to Scott no matter what you did to him. “Why don't you just talk to her, man. You've been ignoring her texts and calls all week.”, “Because I don't know what to say. Am I supposed to apologize? Expect her to apologize?”
“Why are you gonna apologize to her? You didn't do anything but love her. You only dated her for a couple of weeks, but I'm pretty sure you're the best boyfriend she's ever had.” Ray was right. You've dated guys behind your parents' back, but never lasted long because they were all jerks and only dated you because you're pretty.
Scott didn't reply to Ray. He just stared at the ground, mind blank. It's not like you were his only problem, either. He had to apologize to Sam. Even if what Sam did was fucked up, he tried to explain, and Scott didn't let him. Then again, he always forgave Sam for everything, especially when they were kids. “Scott?” Ray repeated his name for the 3rd time. “Huh?” His puffy eyes shifted to the boy.
“She's calling again. Are you gonna pick up this time?” Scott looked down to the ringing phone. He sighed and answered. “Hello?” He sounded so congested. You nearly think you're gonna have a heart attack just from hearing his voice again. “Bab—” He was quick to cut you off. “Scott,” Yeah, you really messed up.
“Scott,” you sighed. “Listen, you don't have to forgive me. I know what I did was wrong, and I should have told you. But I wanted you to know that I want you. You were the first boy to make every second count in our relationship. If you were on the phone while we were hanging out, you held my hand. You never stopped texting me throughout the day. You took me out almost everyday—you spent all your time with me. Dating or not. I know you probably don't want me anymore, but.. I'm sorry. You deserve the biggest apology ever.”
“I'm sorry too.” Sam's voice chimed in, making Scott a little taken back. “I'm your brother, I should act like it. I never meant to hurt you, Scott. I didn't know what I was doing. I'll never be able to forgive myself for what I did, but I hope you can. I don't wanna lose my brother's love and trust.” His voice cracked a little. It sounded like he was trying not to cry. “Please, Scott. I can't eat or even sleep knowing that you're this upset with me. I want my brother back.” It wasn't any form of lying or manipulation. You could tell Sam was genuinely sorry.
Scott was silent throughout the whole phone call. Not because he didn't want to answer, but because he didn't know what to say. He never ever received any apologies like this. Was he supposed to say it's okay? thank you? Absolutely clueless until Ray mouthed ‘thank you’ to Scott, helping him out. The blonde bit his lip and hesitantly answered.
“Thank you.” Then he hung up.
You and Sam look at each other, confused. “Um. Do you think he actually forgives us?” You ask Sam. “More like did he forgive us at all.” He sighed and turned on his back, grabbing a pillow and hugging it over his chest. “I think he needs more time. He'll come around eventually.”
“You dont know that.” You say, picking at your nails. “Kay, I dont wanna sound stuck up, but, like. I know he's gonna come back and accept our apology if he already didn't. Scott's a very forgiving person.” It did sound stuck up, but you trusted Sam's word. I mean, they're brothers. He would definitely know of Scott would forgive him or not.
Scott didn't come home until a week after your phone call. Sam told you not to come over either, so you waited even longer. You didn't even get any updates. However, you did hear yelling coming from next door. You could make out a few words, like “idiot” and “whore”. What if that was Scott saying that you're a whore? No, he would never.. you think.
2 days passed since Scott came back. You scrolled on social media to find that Scott had posted something on his story, but you didn't wanna open it too fast in case he has just barely posted it, so you decided to wait 15 minutes. God, those were the longest 15 minutes of your life, but once they were over, you clicked his story. It was a dumb photo of Sam side eyeing the camera with his smudged eyeliner and messy hair.
Okay, so things seem to be fine with them if both of them are in Sam's room. As long as they weren't fighting, you were happy. At this point, you couldn't think of reasons why Scott would forgive you. At least you didn't have them stop talking to each other for the rest of their lives.
Later on, Chris knocked at your door. He knew the whole story since the day after everything went down. Your brother was the only one keeping you sane right now. He offered to take you out to eat and to shop, which was super sweet. Did he think you were a slut? No, but was he disappointed? Yes. But no matter what, you're his little sister and will always be there for you.
He tried so hard to keep your mind off those boys and was successful, but only until he left. Today, he had news.
“Scott asked me if he could come over later. I'm gonna talk to Sam about Alyssa, and.. well, yknow. You're gonna talk to Scott.” Chris mumbled, holding your hand. He knew you were scared. What was Scott going to tell you? Was he officially gonna end things? You had no idea.
“Thank you, Chris.” He was confused. Why the hell were you thanking him? “For?” He asked, cracking your fingers. “For being there for me even when I was the one in the wrong.” Tears filled your eyes. He looked up at you and smiled, rolling his eyes. “Aw, come on. Don't cry, you dork.” He pulled you into a hug, kissing the top of your head.
“You're my sister, I'm always gonna be there for you.”
Tears were shed.. mostly by you—and lots of affection was shared the whole time you thanked your brother. But then the time came around when Scott was coming over. You quickly fixed yourself up while Chris went to the door to get Scott and leave to talk to Sam.
The door opened, and your heart dropped. Scott looked.. good? For some reason, you expected him to look like he's had no sleep or whatever, but he looked normal. “Why?” He asked, standing at the door.
That simple question really said a lot. You bit your lip, not knowing exactly what to say. He sighed, looking out your door, then back to you and closing it. “You had so much to say over the phone, but now you dont wanna say a god damn thing?” His words were a little cold, but his voice was soft just like it always was.
“Angel, come on. You don't have to be scared to tell me what was goin’ on. Im asking you why.” The name he always called you gave a little bit of comfort. “I dont know, Scott, I'm sorry! I was stupid. I didn't think about what I was doing!” Your voice cracked, and tears started running down your rosy cheeks. Scott seemed a little frustrated that you were the one crying, but he didnt say anything.
“I just had a thing for Sam, I guess. After we..” You looked at him. You didn't even say you had sex with his brother, but obviously, he knew what you meant.. and he looked sad about it. “But when we were done, he said he was never gonna do it again. I'm pretty sure he was gonna ignore me afterward.”
“So do you like me, or do you like Sam.” He made eye contact. Seriously, was he not gonna cry? It embarrassed you that you were the one crying. “I like you, Scott. I love you. I realized I took you for granted before we were together. I realized how much you really liked me and how great of a boyfriend you are.”
“Do you mean that, or are you just saying it so I'll forgive you.” How could he even say that, of course you meant it! “Scott, I mean it. I regret doing that to you.” He came closer, standing in front of you while you were sitting on your bed. “Okay, I forgive you.” He crossed his arms, sighing. “Do you wanna give this another try? I mean. I still have feelings for you, baby. Nothing will change that.”
Wow, he really was a forgiving person. It surprising he was giving you a second chance, and who would you be to say no. “Yes. I wanna try again.” You nodded, looking up at him. Those eyes he loved so much. Even though your eyes were red and puffy, they were still mesmerizing to him. “Well, I shouldn't have put it like that, I guess. We never broke up in the first place. So think of it as we're not in a tight spot anymore.”
You nod as he fell to his knees, now pretty much the same height as you. “You gotta promise you'll never do some dumb shit like that again. Not to me, not to any other guy if we really do end up breaking up eventually.” You nod. “Will you stop nodding at me and use your words, please?” His hands rested on your thighs. You wanted to nod again but didn't. “I won't do it again, Scott. I won't ever be stupid like that again.”
“Good.” His hands left your thighs so that he could wrap his arms around your chest. You slide a little to reach him and hug him over the shoulders. You buried your face in his neck, kissing it gently. “I missed you, Scotty.”
“I missed you too.” He rubbed your back and pulled back to see your face. “Can I kiss y—” You didn't let him finish that question. As soon as you heard kiss, you went for it. It was slow and passionate. It turned into a little bit of a makeout, but hey! who were you to complain.
Afterward, he wiped your cheek with his thumb and smiled. “You taste good.” He let out a little chuckle. “Like cherries.” You smile back, digging your hand into his blonde hair. “It's the chapstick you bought me a few weeks ago, remember. You said you liked cherries and wanted my lips to taste like them everytime we kiss.”
“Bold of you for assuming we'd kiss tonight.” He pinched your cheek. “Yeah, well, it was definitely an assumption.”
Hours went by while you two really got deeper into the whole thing. He told you that he was anxious about even coming over to talk to you and that he was actually just gonna end up breaking up with you after you gave him an explanation. But of course, he didn't, and also told you why.
More kisses were shared, along with hugs. “I love you, angel.” he whispered into your ear as you fell asleep in his arms.
It took the rest of the summer to even get a little more comfortable around both boys, but it happened. School started up again, so you didn't get to see Scott all day, but once you got home, he was outside your porch.
God, telling your parents that you were dating Scott sent them to another planet, but at least it was Scott! If it was anyone else, your dad probably would've threatened to shoot them. Sam liked to keep his distance from you, which was understandable. But that didn't mean he was gonna stop saying hi when he saw you, or give a hug here and there when you came over.
Scott was such a good boyfriend, indeed. Taking you out almost every day to hang out just to eat. When you were just friends, he got along with your parents just well, but now that he was over more, his dad LOVED him.. mostly cause Scott would actually pay attention to your dad's nonsense and genuinely enjoy it.
“I dont know how you dont tell him to shut up and leave.” You say, combing his hair while he laid in between your thighs. “I dont know how you do! He tells me all these things from when he was in high school and stuff. I like hearing about it.” He shrugged. “Mm.” You hum. He smirked and turned himself around, burying his face in your clothed crotch.
This made you a little nervous since, well, the last time he's ever touched you was THAT day. “Scott, what are you doing..” You asked, hips bucking when he rubbed his thumb up and down on your crotch. “Nothing. Can I not touch my girlfriend? Make her feel good?” He bit his lip, making eye contact.
Yeah, this was going somewhere good cause you being all nervous and shy turned him on real bad and ended up with him eating your pussy and fingering you. At least he was being slow and gentle. Your parents were home, too, so the risk excited him a little more.
And of course! he fucked you, too! he even recorded it.
Scott Monroe is the best boyfriend you could ask for. He always knows what to say when you're sad, what to do when you're mad, and how to just keep you happy. He loved you so much. He was already fantasizing about marrying you after 3 years of staying together. Yeah, you both were still young, but he was never gonna let you leave him..
-
I KNOW YALL HATE ME UGHH IM SORRY I JUST COULDNT DO DATING BOTH @ THE SAME TIME CAUSE THEN IT'D END UP IN MORE PARTS AND IM LAZY 4 THAT 💔 anyway erm!! the part where hes like ermm eating you out I was lwk thinking of it being like this (8:46 — 19:33) but jajaaj anyways tell me what you want is FINISHED 😈😈😈
@heartsforanakin @sockiess @anakinstwinklebunny 🎀
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Okay but the angst of Bruce dying from soul bond not being full filled is delicious. Of course Clarke would Never allow Bruce to die, even if it cost him Lois over this, but if after Lois learns about the cheating and Clarkes chooses Lois, I don't think Bruce would tell Clarke.
I think Bruce would kind of assume it's his fault, and if he can't push through this, which in his mind is his own fault, well, he deserves it. Especially since his kids are mad at him, Dick and Jason are not talking to him. So as the effects grow worse, Bruce never says anything, dealing with it on his. At least, until his heart stops, and Clark suddenly feels Bruce's death like his hear withering and dying. He screams and collapses, in more pain he's ever been in. Maybe if he had been listening to Bruce's heart like he had done for years, had heard it stutter, he could have been fast enough to save Bruce. But he had choosen Lois, completely and totally, even knowing there would be consequences to separating from Bruce.
Alfred (and Dick) knew Bruce was going through it, and Alfred even knew about the soul bond aspect (no one else did) and that his health was failing because of it, but thought he would recover. The idea of Bruce dying from what was basically a broken heart was inconceivable to him. But his son body, despite feeling warm to the touch, is unnaturally still beneath his hands, having taken over CPR on Bruce so Dick could have a break, the ambulance 15 minutes out at best.
How could Clark live with himself after? How does Lois feel, realizing that the soulbond stuff was really really real, that her once friend is dead. And Clark, despite knowing this could happen (but didn't really, it was Bruce. Bruce was always the exception, always the outlier, and all the information they had said it only happened in about half the cases and Bruce couldn't- Bruce Can't be...) never believed, never thought this could happen.
How the guilt must kill every day. And imagine the league and family finding out. Dick, Jason and Alfred would never forgive Clark and Lois. Despite originally being on Lois' side. And Lois, I mean, would she stay or leave in that situation? She has to stay or Bruce died for nothing but she can't stay since Clark will never forgive her for her or himself for Bruce's death (even thought it's not her fault), nor will any one in the caped community see her or Clark the same.
So much angst and whump ♡♡♡
(Ps, as an apology for all this angst you totally write SuperBatLane fluffy smut) (This is a joke) (the apology bit, not the superbatlane stuff. You should definitely write some superbatlane)
Oh wow, that ask is a gut lunch. How about, if I finish the cheating superbat fic, I promise to write some superlanebat smut and call it all even? Everyone’s happy then?
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how i hc duke's relationships with the other (main) bats
bruce: mentor/friend/weird HS teacher u bond with kinda thing, i think bruce on his end still feels simmering guilt for not being there for duke when he needed him, duke feel simmering resentment towards bruce for being another adult that left him, this will boil over at some point but then they'll get over it, they will never be that dumb nuclear found family thing, i think doug and elaine would like bruce tho so maybe one of those friend of the family situations where u call someone ur not related to aunt/uncle
cass: very very good friends, would probably consider her a sister from another mister if u will, i would hesitate to call her a best friend *gestures at all of war* but i think she's up there, i really love the headcanon that there is some tension on duke's end because cass has the ability to be more efficient but she actively chooses not to, i think for a long time duke is going to be holding some unhealthy and unrealistic standards both for himself and also people around him, like everything else this causes tension then erupts before it gets resolved, cass i think would know about said tension the whole time but have no idea how to bring up the issue or how to even think about resolving it so it drags on
dick: i think duke holds a grudge for the robin war thing, and i think he fucking should iykyk, (the way he just leaves duke on a roof??? with cops????, i was shouting at my fucking comic) idk i think dick would probably make light of it for a while but duke would be real fucking clear that he remembers and won't be forgiving and forgetting any time soon, i think they're acquaintances at best but realistically, coworkers
damian: like cass Extremely good friends, found family if you will, honestly i think they got a lot of their interpersonal issues out of the way before duke becomes signal, so really its a matter of time before they actually become friends and not just acquaintances, they're old man young to me, i think they do old man things like feed birds in the park and play Go together, i think damian is probably one of the only people duke doesn't hold to his standards, he thinks damian deserves to be a kid, making damian be a kid is probably some of the only time that duke is forced to relax by proxy, therefore duke and damian's friendship is strongly encouraged by bruce who is out of his depth for what to do with both of them and throwing them at each other seems to be working (👍 parenting)
tim: i honestly don't think they know each other well, like i think they may have talked once??? so i don't have shit to base their relationship off, generally i think they're amicable if distant, like a coworker you say hi to at the coffee machine
babs: i Need them to interact, honestly it would be really funny if duke meets babs for the first time as oracle and he's just like??? you're my favorite librarian? and babs is like !! we missed you when you stopped volunteering!!! and duke has to be like yeah that was the joker, i think they would have a good relationship, they don't work together all that much cause oracle doesn't run duke's ops and duke isn't usually on the night shift but they know they can call each other in if they need. one of duke's few trusted AdultsTM
jason: i think rocky at the start, duke would definitely have some Memories of the red hood, that would probably be a hill to overcome, but i generally think that jason will eventually move into a more positive position in the city even with the shadows of all that stuff following him ofc. they are absolute Assholes to each other in a way that is clearly affection, jason will let duke get away with anything up to and including murder, duke will never let jason get away with anything, its like a typo in the group chat
steph: re same as tim, and babs practically nothing to base the relationship on BUT i think they would get on like a house on fire, like cass: sister from another mister energy, steph is giving duke the "you just found out ur dad is a supervillain" support he needs, they are the only bats successfully going to college they probably go to events on campus together, idk they have so much potential as the forgotten robins and all that, i think they should bully bruce together that would be so fun.
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Hey! It's my birthday today and it's been really good but it's been kind of the first birthday I've ever properly celebrated with my chosen family and friends in a long time since a lot of trauma/ab*se, and I really hope it wouldn't be too much to ask (take as long as you need obvs) for some headcanons with a Tav that isn't going to celebrate on their birthday, but Astarion makes it special for them somehow and maybe they agree it's Tav's 'first' birthday 🥹🥹🥹👉👈
I love all your work and eagerly await your posts, they make my day 🥰🥰🥰
Hi! Hope you will like it! Now, Tiriel's birthday is also in autumn!
Birthday Gift
Summary: Tiriel has no idea when her real birthday is and she's never receieved birthday gifts. Astarion finds it outrageous.
Pairing: Astarion x OC (Tiriel)
Tags: fluff, hurt/comfort, post-game, named Tav, established relationship.
Thanks @themadlu for beta-reading!
Read on AO3
Masterlist
Headcanons
TW: a mention of abuse
Tiriel looks around.
Autumn.
Leaves are turning red and yellow, the winds are cold and promise winter.
It’s beautiful, though the barbarian feels uneasy – the childhood memories. Winters are merciless in such wild places as the Sunset Mountains. Hunger, sickness, death… Sometimes her stepfather, a cruel chieftain, would order to leave certain people outside (too old, too weak) – to let them die and not waste scarce food.
He would often pull Tiriel outside when the autumn winds were particularly harsh and say: “Look at this, pixie girl, I can just order not to give you any food and you will die like a stray cat. But I am merciful – I told your mother I’d save your pathetic half-blood life!” With these words, he would let her go and Tiriel would run to hide somewhere dark and safe.
She was lucky there were no harsh winters during her childhood. She would be the first to be deprived of food and warmth.
Only half a human. The result of an affair between her mother and an unknown elf. She still wonders why she was spared in the first place. It would have been so easy to murder a newborn girl.
They didn’t.
They kept her.
Maybe it was a superstition that elven children would become evil spirits once they died, or fear that Tiriel’s elven relatives would return.
Those are questions without answers, Tiriel knows that.
Maybe there was a moment when her mother loved her. Maybe there was a moment when Tiriel’s stepfather really did forgive his wife.
Tiriel doesn’t have happy memories from her childhood. It’s all too dark and miserable.
And autumns like this remind her of it.
“Hello, darling,” Astarion grins, returning to the road from the woods. His shirt is stained and he licks his lips.
“What was it?” she asks.
“A boar. Didn’t expect I’d jump on it from the tree.”
Tiriel smiles as she wipes his face from blood and brushes his messy curls. Astarion doesn’t see himself in a mirror and, of all forms of intimacy, he especially cherishes being taken care of. Brushing his hair, cleaning his face, making sure he looks beautiful.
Two years. Two years of her own happy memories. Where she has a person to talk to, to hold, to love. Astarion is a troubled person, but Tiriel loves him at his worst and at his best.
Astarion rubs her ear, forcing her to giggle.
“Let’s go?” he suggests. “The weather is getting worse, I want to spend the next few days somewhere warm!”
“It’s five miles to Longsaddle if I’ve read the map properly.”
Astarion takes her hand, and Tiriel feels how warm it is thanks to the boar blood.
“Then we will meet the sunrise in a comfortable bed!” Astarion chuckles. “And in each other’s arms.”
“I doubt they have good beds there, so far from Luskan and other big cities.”
“We have low standards, you and I. As long as there is a blanket and a bed, we are fine, Besides I love using your breasts as my pillow.”
Tiriel bursts into laughter and receives a peck on the cheek.
Unfortunately, it can’t stop bad memories.
… Her siblings asked her to help them with something on a cliff. She followed them, only to be violently beaten by her older brothers. Tiriel even thought for a moment they were going to rape her, but, instead, they pushed her down to certain death.
Tiriel woke up in dirt and blood, with her arm broken in half, shivering and coughing.
And with a cave bear ready to murder her.
That’s when Tiriel felt rage for the first time.
It filled her veins with fire. Tiriel barely remembers what happened that night but she knows she killed that bear– and was left with facial scars. Then she came back, limping and bleeding. She thinks she fought someone, maybe one of her brothers or the chieftain and then she ran.
She ran into the mountains woods – no armor, no weapon, only rags and bare feet.
Then she collapsed on the ground, hurt and scared in the middle of the woods, forever lost.
Tiriel remembers that moment vividly.
A young girl who had barely hit puberty (because half-elves grow slower) woke up all alone and cried like a child. Then she got up and walked, dying of cold and hunger.
Two days later she was found by a group of adventurers who sort of adopted her as their party child. An old halfling washed Tiriel’s hair and healed her wounds. A water genasi cooked the girl food and offered the warmest blankets.
And the tiefling paladin asked Tiriel what her name was.
“My sweet, I thought it was me who tends to wander into dark thoughts,” Astarion squeezes. “Remembering your misfortunate youth again?”
“Yes. Just – similar. To what it was back then. The same autumn when I ran from home. The same autumn when I got my name.”
Tiriel, the little girl told the party. My name is Tiriel.
Astarion does the same thing he always does when he wants to support Tiriel.
He gives her a hug.
“Hush, Tiriel,” he murmurs. “You will never be alone again.”
Triel relaxes. That is her Astarion – a simple hug, a kiss, an embrace, and her nightmares perish.
He pulls away and Tiriel catches his most adorable smile – he doesn’t pretend, doesn’t show off, doesn’t perform. That’s real him.
“I want to kiss you,” he says.
She nods. They don’t have to ask permission to do things with each other. Kisses, hugs, grabbing hands, touching intimate parts – but they still do.
Tiriel asks if she can kiss Astarion.
Astarion states he wants to kiss her.
Simple as that.
Permission and declaration.
Astarion grazes her lips. He is in his predatory mood, when Tiriel just needs to accept whatever is going to be done to her. His strong hands grab her shoulders and tug at her.
Astarion finally breaks the kiss and stares at Tiriel for a few moments.
“I am not going anywhere,” Tiriel murmurs.
“I know, Tiriel. You are mine and I am yours,” Astarion presses his forehead to hers.
They go down the hill and find themselves on a road that connects scarce towns and settlements far from the Swords Coast. The road is more or less walkable but it soon will be washed out due to rains. Tiriel notices Astarion’s visible disgust.
“Honestly darling, we should have stayed in Baldur’s Gate and lived a life of comfort!” he chuckles.
“You would die of boredom – besides I thought you’d had enough of that place.”
“True, but there are many other comfortable places! Tiriel, you deserve to wear a nice gown made of the best fabrics and sleep in a huge master’s bed where I will ravish you till you beg me to stop.”
Tiriel turns around to see her partner better. “And then I would die of boredom. Astarion look at us – I am a nomad and you were enslaved for so long you deserve to see the world.”
“It doesn’t mean I can’t whine and complain!”
“You can whine and complain all day long, Astarion. Why even bother to be in a relationship, if you can’t do this?”
They bicker and laugh for the next hour until they see a town ahead. Despite it being close to midnight, the town doesn’t sleep and is rather festive.
“What is going on here?” Tiriel asks a passerby as they enter the town. “Some local celebration?”
“It’s our duke’s first son’s birthday,” the woman shrugs. “Not like we care about the spoilt brat but you can’t say ‘no’ to a celebration right?”
The woman disappears in the crowd and Tiriel points at the stalls.
“Astarion, look! So many sweets! Oh, and there are fireworks!”
Astarion looks distant, as if something plagued his mind.
“Love, what is it?” She asks and feels a wave of anxiety. What if it’s too much? Feasts like this used to be his hunting grounds, what if he has a painful flashback?
Two years against two centuries is almost nothing.
“Tirie,l” he finally asks. “When is yours?”
“What?”
“Birthday. I know this is a huge deal for humans and the ones who grew up with them.”
“I don’t know.”
Astarion looks at her with shock.
“You… what?”
“I don’t know when mine is, I was never told. Neither a date nor a month.”
“Oh,” Astarion didn’t expect this answer. “Well, at least you know the year, right?”
“I don’t.”
Astarion raises his index finger as if wanting to point at something, but then he shakes his head in disbelief.
“We have been together for two years and you are telling me now that you don’t… how old you are?!”
Tiriel ponders a bit.
“Well, I know it was 1472 DR when I ran away, I was told by the party who adopted me… and I had had my first blood only two months before that. But I am a half-elf and it took me longer to grow up… So I think I was… fifteen? Maybe, sixteen… Or fourteen? Definitely not sixteen… Because my older brother was sixteen… Damn, I don't really know. Don’t bother.”
“Darling, I can’t not bother with the fact that I don’t know how old you are!”
“You say it as if I was one of those little girls who look older than they are and get their one-night stands in trouble!”
“It’s not that, Tiriel! It’s just… I don’t know… wrong!”
“It probably is.”
“It is wrong.”
“I cannot do anything about that.”
The wave of sadness drags her to the bottom of her dark thoughts.
Beatings.
Insults.
Hatred.
Pain.
All at once, since she was born.
Suddenly, she is a little girl again – a little girl thrown outside in the autumn rain, in the wind, wearing only a nightshirt. Tiriel thinks she hears her stepfather's laughter from behind a thick wooden door as a seven-year-old half-elf who cries and begs him to let her in.
Tiriel stops. Tears prickle her eyes. Her face burns, and an adult half-elven woman who fought gods and demons starts ugly crying like a child.
She collapses on her knees not caring about the dirt, wailing and sniffing.
“Tiriel!” Astarion drops his sack and kneels beside her. “Did I do… Did I ask… Oh, hells.”
He puts his arms under her shoulders and presses her to himself, lulling and swaying side to side. He murmurs all the words of love and care he is capable of.
“Let’s take you somewhere warm,” he finally says, helping her to get up.
Despite the fest, they manage to find an inn with a free room, a cheap and simple one. Tiriel has to go inside first to invite Astarion, and then he takes everything in his hands again making sure the innkeeper brings warm blankets and prepares a bath.
“Love,” he says. “Look at me.”
Tiriel tries not to think about how bad she looks right now with her puffy face and snot but obliges.
“That's much better, now let’s take you to the bath”
An hour later, Tiriel submerges herself into the hot water and expects Astarion to join her, but instead he goes straight to the exit.
“Astarion!” she calls him out.
“I will be back soon, just relax while I am away, all right?”
Tiriel hates being alone. Too many dark thoughts, besides, now she feels guilty. Astarion went through hell and she dares to complain?!
Her past isn’t that bad in comparison with his. She has no right to pity herself.
Time passes slowly, and Tiriel feels restless. What if something happened? What if there was a vampire hunter? Or something else…
When she finally decides to get out of the bath, Tiriel hears familiar footsteps.
“Close your eyes, little love.”
Tiriel obeys and then feels something soft and plush in her arms.
“Open” Astarion places his chin on her shoulder.
A plushie-owlbear.
Soft and cute, it’s a toy appropriate for a little girl to cuddle with.
A toy she never had.
“Well,” Astarion explains. “Since you don’t know when your birthday is, it can be… today. 17 of Uktar. Happy birthday, love,” he kisses her cheek. “And I suppose we should decide how old you are.”
“Thirty-eight,” Tiriel says, doing mental math. “Let it be thirty-eight”
“Happy thirty-eight birthday, my lovely, darling girl.”
Tiriel feels like crying again. It’s just a toy, a plushie, a thing for a baby. But she was never treated as a child, she was never given toys or dolls. And this gift… is the best she could have received.
“Do you like it?” he asks carefully.
“Yes… I do love it! Thank you! Did you steal it?”
“I won it from the toymaker. Played cards with her.”
Astarion sits on the edge of the bathtub and Tiriel wraps her hands around his waist tugging him into water. He lets out a laugh.
“Darling, you know how long it will take to fully dry?”
“Eternity! And we will spend this eternity in the inn warm and safe,” Tiriel says. “Astarion, please! I don’t want to go back on the road now, so many bad memories!”
He sits in front of her fully in the water. “Ok my sweet, what else do you want for your birthday? Maybe I could return the favor and let you ride me in some place from your traumatic memories? I’ve seen a rather terrible-looking dirt of mud.”
Tiriel thinks for a while and then says. “I don't mind riding you, but maybe in the bedroom?”
“Whatever you say, darling!”
**
It’s sunlight outside, and Astarion feels the tugging feeling in his undead chest. He misses sunlight, that's true.
Tiriel is asleep in his arms. They actually didn’t make it to the bedroom and had the first round in the bathtub, and now Astarion needs to repair his shirt and find missing buttons from a doublet.
It causes him anxiety, but he shrugs it away.
He can lose all the buttons and rip all his clothes, and the only reaction he will receive will be Tiriel’s jokes.
Tiriel hugs him from behind, placing her cheek on his mutilated back. The plushie is pressed between their bodies as his warrior-love has decided to sleep with it.
He actually didn’t expect her to like the toy. Initially, he was panicking and looking for something appropriate for Tiriel. A ring? A bracelet? Maybe a weapon? Maybe just something sweet?
Everything he was putting his eyes on was off. Jewelry Tiriel would never wear, a weapon she wouldn’t fight with.
And then he saw the toys. An owlbear plushie for a woman who is always treated like a brave hero. Who didn’t have a proper childhood?
The first birthday gift for someone who has never had a birthday.
And Tiriel loved it so much she pressed it to her chest the moment they stopped ‘celebrating’. She wanted to give it a proper name, and they spent at least a few minutes discussing their ideas before they settled on Big Eye.
“Tiriel,” Astarion mutters knowing she is asleep and won’t wake up. “I love you. You will never be alone, I promise. I will be with you unless you grow tired of me, and I am sure you won’t. Thank you for … finding me. Saving. Helping.”
Suddenly he feels her wet lips on his scars.
“I will never grow tired of you,” Tiriel promises.
--
Tag list
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I feel bad for Starlo. (pt. 5)
Most see this as a Staroba moment (not saying it's wrong to see it that way), but I'm like: why is Star’s first thought after he is brutally kicked to casually admit how he deserved to be hurt that much? He could have fallen to his death! Like, dude, stop. You're breaking my heart. Just look at how chill he sounds:
no starlo.. please be more gentle with yourself
And then he says how his and Ceroba's mistakes were the same?
How??
What she did was MUCH MUCH worse. It's like comparing Papyrus to Alphys or Asgore. And I don't even hate Ceroba, or Asgore, or even Alphys. They're all flawed but well-written characters (gonna discuss the fox woman soon)
But like… Ceroba not only had time to process things (and plan everything) but got support from Star. He didn't get either. The posse and Ceroba all left him hanging, all because of his enthusiasm and insecurities (that somehow nobody ever picked up on; the struggle of people who always seem happy is real) and good intentions. His entire life fell apart without him expecting it, all at once. Even worse, no one who was supposed to be there WAS there.
And when Ceroba finally intervenes she basically reveals to us how North Star was someone no one liked?
I really hope she meant just who he was while Clover was there. Otherwise….
She better not be saying that, for the years this persona existed, they all hated it. That they hated this part of Star, the insecure part. They obviously wanted him to go back to being the Nice Guy™ (but like, he was always nice. The only time he was overly enthusiastic was when he met a real human for the 1st time and got to live his dream. Ceroba basically says how, well, the guy’s lived a pretty unfulfilling life before he found out about westerns. They gave his entire life meaning. She should have been more patient with him istg.)
Ceroba’s actions were manipulative. She never planned to tell anyone the truth. She wouldn't have told anyone the truth, EVER, if Star and Ed hadn't found out about her secret. Starlo on the other hand felt lost, since he got 0 support. Ceroba had Star. He gave her a free home. He was so thoughtful as to think "my childhood friend is currently crying herself to sleep, alone at home, why not give her company and ask her to stay with us?" Ceroba got a hug from Clover, lots of understanding from the kid, Martlet and Starlo. She got easy forgiveness. Star had to make up to his group himself and be the only one who apologizes. Even though they’d been gaslighting him (is that the right word for this situation?) for years apparently, or didn't let him enjoy himself for once in his life (depending on how you choose to interpret it). He even said sorry for forgetting to turn off the rock machines. Yeah, he deff goes back to Nice Guy™ AND does it pretty damn quickly when you think about it, after how much he was forced to deal with all at once ALL BY HIMSELF before Ceroba came and lectured him for the most part. He really is emotionally strong
yeah, ceroba didn't comfort star like this when he was at his lowest (bonus points for him soothing her all while grieving for the child he clearly saw as his own)
Even though she thought she was doing the right thing, Ceroba was a twist villain. Starlo was no villain. He just really hated himself, was glad to find someone who could understand both his passion and his beliefs (aka Clover), really wanted to finally feel useful and expected others to enjoy his fantasy world as much as he did. As a farmer he felt like he couldn't do anything for himself and his community. He only wanted to help the best he knew and got carried away.
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soulmate au - @wolfstarmicrofic
Sirius trailed him with a heavy stomp, his hands grabbing Remus’ arms to stop him from walking away. “What the hell, Remus?! What’s your problem?”
Remus stopped in his tracks to turn towards Sirius. “My problem is that I love you!” he exclaimed before he could even stop himself from doing so. He snatched his arm back, balling his hands into a fist to prevent them from shaking, keeping it firmly at his sides.
Sirius stood right where he was, mouth slightly agape. The courage coursing through Remus’ veins was pushing him to say what he’s always wanted to, right from the second he realised what his feelings meant.
“I’ve been in love with you before I even knew what love was!” Remus paused to catch his breath, whilst also trying to drown out the drumming of his own heart. “I know I’m risking a lot saying this—our friendship—you! But fuck that—I…I can’t fucking stand this anymore. I can no longer fucking watch you mope about some bitch who doesn’t even give a single fuck about you—cos I love you and it hurts seeing you get hurt!”
“All this time I’ve been waiting for you to see me—actually see me! I was there when you were complaining about girls not wanting you. I was there when you endlessly whined after your exes broke up with you—I was fucking there!” Remus glared at Sirius, who still looked limp in his place. “When you started realising you like boys as well as girls and asked me if boys would find you attractive, I wanted to tell you then that it would be foolish for them not to see how wonderful you are and it would be their loss for not doing so—but I couldn’t cos you were my fucking friend.”
“When you asked me to set you up with someone gay—I was there, Sirius. Me. But you only saw me as a friend and nothing more. Nothing more!” Remus sighed exasparatingly. Throwing his frustrations at Sirius whilst telling him how he really feels was not a choice he would’ve done earlier today, or ever. But nature took its course and the universe told him to fuck it.
“Remus, I…” Sirius finally spoke, his eyes still wide. He raised his hand to reach Remus’ but seemed to changed his mind mid-way.
“What? No funny comebacks?” Remus challenged. The choice of letting his anger lead this conversation is much more ideal than actively contemplate the consequences of him admitting his feelings towards his best friend.
It was a choice between letting the rage out or letting the tears go. With the former, Remus could just pretend to be angry at Sirius. While the latter would eventually lead to a lifetime of hurt.
Not only was he breaking up their friendship by confessing, but saying how he feels out loud just made it seem more real.
“No.” Sirius replied, gulping. His adam’s apple bobbed up and down. Remus shouldn’t be looking but he was, not only that, he’s also turned on by it. “I’ve always seen you that way, Remus. Always.”
“What?” Remus blinked. It was his turn to be rendered mute. His head was swimming into thousands of different possibilities of what Sirius could’ve meant.
“You were the reason why I realised Iiked boys too.” he paused. “The moment I saw you on the train, with your stupid freckles and stupid hair and stupid smile—how could I not see you? The reason none of those relationships worked out was because of you—”
Remus scoffed, cutting Sirius off. “Oh, so now you’re blaming me?!”
“No! No! Of course not!” Sirius protested, his arms gestured into surrender. “I couldn’t stay in a relationship with them for long cos I didn’t like them as much as I do you! They could kiss me endlessly but the feeling it would give would never amount to the happiness I get when I’m simply next to you. You are the one I want, Remus. You’ve always been the one I want.”
“Then why do you keep dating other people?”
“Cos I’m a fucking knob and I didn’t know that you were someone I can have.”
Oh.
Oh.
Sirius took a step forward. “Please forgive me for all the stupid things I’ve done before. I can’t promise not to make stupid things again cos I know I’ll make more, but I swear that none of it will be done to hurt you.” he paused to take Remus’ hand, his eyes completely fixed on him. “Remus John Lupin, you may not believe in soulmates but I do—cos I believe I was put in this world to find you and love you.”
“And I believe I was put in this world to stop you from doing stupid things—well, more stupid things that could land you in Azkaban.” Remus replied. Sirius gave him a small smirk.
The warmth spreading throughout Remus’ entire body was undeniably strong. The love he has for Sirius Black—who’s a complete idiot—was stronger than the hatred he has in himself for falling for his bestfriend.
“I love you, Sirius.” Remus muttered. It didn’t take long for Sirius’ hands to cup Remus’ cheeks, capture his lips, and slide his tongue in. The way Remus imagined it happening before was magical, but the actual one was a hundred million times better.
Sirius broke the kiss to get a whiff of air, his forehead pressing into Remus’ as he ran his thumb across Remus’ cheek. “I love you so much more, Moony.”
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Lady Echo: A Character Analysis
Before we dive in, there's something about me you should know. I'm a TV Tropes truther. That site is my Bible. If a piece of media interests me, then you'd better believe I have visited its TV Tropes page.
And because of that, Echo in particular is a character I've been meaning to talk about for a while now, because I get the feeling people tend to overlook what I feel is the true core of her character at the end of season 3.
As you can see, while other tropes go more into detail about her true motivations behind betraying Oropo, that part of her character ends up being reduced to being a Woman Scorned, and while that certainly applies here, I really don't think that's the trope that best encapsulates her character and her decisions at the end of the season.
A Woman Scorned is essentially any woman who has been wronged by the person she loves and seeks revenge or has at least expressed great anger. And it can go from being cheated on by a partner, or simply being rejected by their love interest and not taking it well. And both heroic and villainous characters can be the ones to break her heart. In fact, Arpagone too would be an example of this trope, as even if her feelings for Ruel are still there, most of her actions are motivated by the pain she feels for his decision to choose money over her.
As you can see, this all fits with Echo's actions and feelings at the end of season 3, but it's very general overall. Which is why, in my humble opinion, Echo is a better example of Love Forgives All but Lust.
This trope is essentially a deconstruction of tropes centred around the appeal bad boys have for women. The thing about women falling for bad boys is that those women tend to know they're bad news, and beyond a desire to be the ones to change them, the real reason that interest is born is because they're attracted to the idea of the bad boy being a jerk to everyone, but them. Love Forgives All but Lust is what happens when the woman is rudely awakened from that delusion.
In other words, when they realise not even they are safe from their partner's worst actions. And what is the best way to have a woman feel betrayed to the point of seeking revenge? Unfaithfulness.
Sure, they will forgive their partner if it turns out he's a serial killer, but if he cheats? Then he's the one who's dead.
And example of Love Forgives All but Lust is when the police is trying to get a mafioso's wife/girlfriend to testify against her lover, but she refuses to cooperate... until she discovers her husband/boyfriend has a lover, then she'll do everything to bring him down.
If you think about it, this is essentially what happened between Echo and Oropo after he revealed he only ever "loved" Amalia. Even if Echo is a much more active player in Oropo's machinations than simply being aware of them, having helped him carry over his plans for centuries as his second-in-command.
After he kissed Amalia and claimed Echo never meant anything to him compared to her, that's when Echo totally lost it. And her subsequent actions are a direct result of his betrayal. It never had anything to do with Echo seeing the error of her ways, as we all know.
Think about it, it wasn't until Oropo chose Amalia over her, after everything they had ever been through, that Echo truly struck. Once it became apparent her lover didn't care for her nearly as much as she cared for him, that's when Echo revealed his true plans: to destroy the gods, he must destroy the World of Twelve and deprive them of followers. In other words, he was willing to commit mass genocide for the sake of his dream.
Moreoever, the fact that she got to reveal the true extent of his plans at all already highlights that only she knew about them. All along, Echo knew what Oropo was planning, the consequences of his dreams, and she never once stopped believing in his cause. Their conversation in episode 6 even going as far as explaining Echo already believed in him and supported his dreams before ever falling for him, meaning she can't even excuse her actions by saying her feelings blinded her. Because she was perfectly aware of Oropo's plans all along.
And yet, that didn't stop her from loving him. If anything, it was only another reason she fell in love with him.
No, it wasn't until Oropo broke her heart that she ever went against him.
If you ask me, this all reads as Echo not minding Oropo's most questionable tendencies because she was convinced she was exempt from ever being at the receiving end of his worst actions. After all, she had been by his side the longest, witnessing how he got rid of demigods that failed to meet his standards or were no longer useful (going with what the show claims, I haven't read Ogrest's manga). It wasn't until he kissed Amalia and shoved her aside that Echo realised not even she was safe from him.
And it was because Oropo had had no qualms to screw her over that Echo decided it was her turn to screw him over. And hence, she revealed her plans to the Brotherhood of the Forgotten, not because she'd seen the error of her ways, but because Oropo had hurt her and she wanted to make him bleed in turn.
In the end, Echo's actions weren't fuelled solely by revenge or even jealousy, they were fuelled by the bitter realisation that she never meant as much to Oropo as he meant to her. It was about realising he had no qualms hurting her, not about how he had no qualms hurting anyone else.
It was about Echo not being enough for Oropo.
And for me, that's why Echo is a better example of Love Forgives All but Lust.
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It is totally possible to be a Buddie endgamer AND still support Buck/Tommy. It's possible to never be shaken from your stance as Buck and Eddie being soulmates while supporting every relationship they have been in, regardless of how dysfunctional it was.
Here's my take:
I want to see both Buck and Eddie explore life and find their true paths independently of each other, Christopher, and the 118. They are more than just each other's best friend/coparent, Christopher's fathers, and firefighters/part of the 118 family.
Since we know there is a season 8, and I would guess a season 9+ if these ratings keep up, it would be awesome to watch a full season, or more, of character evolution. We could watch Buck dating both men and women openly, learning his value, and discovering what he wants for his future.
Buck, as Bobby pointed out, doesn't enter into relationships of his own accord. He stumbles and falls into them without a clue how he got there. One day, he wakes up and he's someone's boyfriend or living with someone and isn't sure how it happened. Buck simply goes wherever someone will accept him. He misconstrues that acceptance and tolerance as genuine romance, feelings, and love.
Abby was bored and lonely and horny. I could say a lot about that relationship. If the motivation strikes, I may post about how that relationship was toxic and manipulative on Abby's part. If there are any Abby fans, you need to know your girl was showing some tendencies that were red flags.
Ali? Buck was single. She showed interest. That's it.
Taylor? Great sex and she kept coming back to Buck. She was there for all the wrong reasons and had questionable morals, but she was there. That was enough for Buck.
Natalia, again, was simply in front of Buck. She was obviously only interested in Buck's death, not Buck as a person, but Buck didn't care. He tried to make it work anyway because Natalia gave him time and attention.
So, we have an established pattern of Buck dating whoever will give him the time of day when he needs it most.
Enter Tommy. Buck is feeling left out. He's probably slipping into loneliness and spiraling because he feels the most important person in his life for the last six years is being taken away from him. (That's Eddie, for those in the back.)
Tommy shows up, sees Buck is spiraling, and kisses him. (Tommy fans, canon has established that Tommy has bad guy capabilities. Stop trying to gaslight the fans who are saying he may not be the good guy his sudden fandom claims he is. He isn't and Hen and Chimney forgiving him doesn't change that. People who are capable of consciously being a-holes are just a-holes. Mmkay?) He doesn't just hit on Buck. He physically initiates contact, giving Buck no doubt the man is open to other men. He showed Buck attention in a moment of crisis and he's a safe option after Buck openly admitted he was jealous and trying to get attention.
Buck stumbles into the next relationship. (Again, I could examine that situation, but if I do, it will be in a separate post.)
The show could give us Eddie admitting he let the expectations and influences of third parties control his destiny and he has no idea who Edmundo Diaz really is outside of what was expected of him, what he was taught, and what he did out of a sense of duty instead of doing what he wanted to.
He was with Shannon because she was pregnant and the right thing to do, per their parents and his faith, was marry her. I think he loves her for giving him his son, but nothing he has ever said or done indicates he was in love with her. I think he thinks he was. I think he wanted to be.
He was with Ana because Christopher needed a mother, per what he was told and taught, and she had an impressive resume and knew Christopher.
He is with Marisol because she fits the perfect mold of what his parents would like and she gets along with Christopher.
Should we talk about Eddie's relationships timing up perfectly with when Buck enters a relationship? No?
That man has never once in six seasons made a believable statement about genuine attraction to or sexual enjoyment with women. Ladies and gentlemen, if you have straight male friends who are in their 20s or 30s, you know you will be subjected to more details about their sexual history than you ever wanted to know. (Many of my close friends historically have been straight men. Conversations with them have been interesting and eye-opening. Sometimes traumatic, too, but I knew what I signed up for when I became their friend.)
Eddie canonically is in his early 30s and has been on the screen since his late 20s, but went without sex for years, never seemed to miss it, and now he's suddenly "pent up"? That is not the whole story and there is more going on there.
I'd love to see Eddie figure out he isn't into Marisol and hasn't been into anyone genuinely, except maybe Shannon. There could easily be a demisexuality arc for Eddie. Keep in mind, the term demisexuality was coined less than 20 years ago and is still not widely known. Eddie could spend a season, or more, working through the feelings he's ignored or been unable to put into words, dealing with overbearing parents, and how his faith has quietly, and unbeknownst to him, guided his choices. He could spend a long time wondering why he never feels an instant connection with anyone, except Buck and Tommy. (You seeing a pattern here?) This season has openly pointed out Eddie is in therapy.
The road to Buddie can be filled with satisfying detours, aka other relationships, leading to the realizations that open their eyes to each other. We don't have to negate the Buck and Eddie's experiences with others to support Buddie.
The part of me that wants instant gratification would love to see Eddie and Buck dancing at Madney's wedding and figuring out they are what they have been looking for all along. Cut to them in a room going at it.
But, the part of me that loves a great story, and doesn't mind waiting if the writing is great, is fine with a slow burn that gives us deep storylines and episodes that grip you from beginning to end. Let's say we have the rest of season 7, season 8, and maybe a season 9. There would be so much possible material.
Buck could go through a relationship with Tommy, a breakup, confusion, dating again, multiple amazing conversations with LGBTQ characters like Hen, Karen. This would also allow for giving other characters more depth, backstory, and more time on-screen. (This would be an amazing time to bring back Rockmond Dunbar as Michael and have him and Buck discuss figuring your sexuality out later in life!)
Eddie could spend that time working through his Catholic guilt and separating his actual needs and desires from what he was taught to need and desire. He could realize he makes excuses to stay with the women he dates then finds an excuse to escape when being with those women gives him anxiety. He could begin questioning if he is gay, bi, pan, or what. Then he could ask himself why he never really gets to know the women he dates. Who has he been close to? What was different? What gives him a feeling of safety and security and home? He needs to figure himself out.
So, yes, I do believe Buck/Tommy is acceptable and I support it, just not as endgame. I think, if written well, it could be integral to a great growth plot that takes us through Eddie and Buck diverging on their paths to self-discovery only to converge later on, a little more scarred but more in tune with themselves, to see their future in each other.
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Halsin and Wyll deserve their babies ever after ending.
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thinking abt kenny and his anti-neet agenda
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I exist only to post pics where I think Seb looks small
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