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hauntedcollectorartisanelf · 6 years

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Why are you in my class? You are so struggling to keep up with the lessons even though your attendance is perfect. You struggle to speak in a way that others can understand you. You slaughter the words making conversation nearly impossible. So please explain to me why I shouldn't just boot you out and give your space to someone capable of learning.

Yep, that's the conversation I just had with my instructor/tutor. I drew a blank. I couldn't figure out how to respond to this. The description is so true that I am ashamed of myself. It managed to hit the play button on the inner tape player of mine of my past teachers and parents... The never-ending loop of their remarks such as God you are such a failure, no good, you are showing the world what scum you can be, I’ve never seen anyone more thickheaded and stupid than you are. These adults would say to me every time I did an assignment that was less than perfect.

Maybe if I put this out there you will understand and help me word it so my tutor will understand.

Let me tell you why I sit down and I attempt to learn a language that isn't my own. Why no matter how much I struggle to get through the assignments my butts in the chair, I'm doing vocab flash cards, rosetta stone, Duolingo, trying to find a way to grasp the language. wishing there was a spell or I could get my hands on whatever gadget star trek people had to be able to speak to the others and understand for communication. Cause I so need it.

See I was exposed to the languages of other cultures for most of my life. It wasn't unusual for me to hear someone speak English and then switch to their home tongue in order to speak to their elders and then back to English. I marveled at the speed and ease these individuals had in communicating. Me I was left out of the conversation because I didn't know the home language and what I would be coached to say would be slaughtered so badly that I'd be patted on the head. Eventually, I stopped trying to communicate unless someone could act as an intermediary.

I did get a rough understanding of the languages I was exposed to so I could sometimes puzzle out something that was said to me but most of the time that was highly embarrassing and frustrating. Still, I looked forward to hearing the words spoken and communicating with them. A few families took pity on me and created a picture book of sorts for when I did the shopping errands and no translator was available. One thing I always got right is that I knew how to sit in the presence of the elders and be quiet. A few looked forward to my presence as it broke the lonely hours of their days even though the silence was deafening. I recall how much I looked forward to it as for that moment I knew I was safe and sometimes I would even get a drink and a snack out of it. Occasionally I would get a story or tale that made the time sitting so much better even if I couldn’t understand a word that was being said. I loved to hear the various languages spoken. I could listen for hours not caring that I didn’t have a clue what was being said. If I was able to do a chore within earshot I made sure to do it as slowly as possible just to get to hear the women speak.

Eventually over a course of several months of being quick to volunteer for a chore or errand and being willing to sit quietly it led to me being included in other things like evening meals, or my favorite activity of all baking and candy making, I may not have known what the yummy treat was called or why certain things were done as they were but I knew how to grease the tins and pans, how to sift the flour, how to stir something at the hot stove, how to peel the potatoes and apples and scrape the veggies and how to wash a dish. I learned a lot but not nearly as much as I could have if I’d only been capable of learning the language. I regret this. Not just because I have a box of letters from that time that I can’t read. I have kept them because I know it must have been important for them to write their words down for me and to give them to me before I left. I had hoped to be smart enough to learn how to at least read the letters or find someone to translate them for me. Sadly its been so long I’m not sure I even remember who gave me which letter and what possible language it might have been written in.

I did manage to read a couple of little notes written to me from a family who had come from Mexico. I was able to make out a few of the words though the ink had faded and the paper was starting to break down. It’s been touching to think that these strangers whom I vaguely remember (they used to have a lot of skeletons and decorated skulls at Halloween) thought to write to me.

I never felt right about expecting everyone to speak the same language especially my language of American English. I never understood the elders' strict rule to only speak English in the home. It seemed rather dumb to me who was stuck in the land of English and dreamed of mastering the older languages that I heard spoken around me as I went from place to place.

I loved it when during the summer All Nations week came. Each day was devoted to an entire country. There would be booths with the delicacies from the old world. clothing brought over would be worn, music from the old world would be played and dances danced. The best part is those who could would then freely speak their preferred language. Those who hid shuttered away because of not being able to grasp English freely strutted up and down the streets calling to neighbors, friends, family in rusty voices and their mutual language. It was bloody marvelous. I loved hearing Polish, Italian, Greek, Dutch, Czechoslovakian, Russian, French, Irish Gaelic, Scotch Gaelic, German, and occasionally from the tourists Japanese and Korean,

While there wasn't a day set aside for the Spanish speakers, they would come sometimes out of curiosity to see what all the hubbub was about. It is on one of these moments that cemented my desire to learn Spanish.

The local elementary was turned into a mini museum. People who had brought items with them when they immigrated here would bring them in to be displayed for everyone to see. It was during one of my daily visits to these rooms that I had to use the restroom. In there was one of the migrant workers with a child who was probably between 12-15 months. She was trying to figure out the taps to wash the sticky candy from the child's face while also help a slightly older girl get paper toweling from the dispenser. She couldn't understand the two other women's instructions on how to operate the paper towel dispenser. It was the type where you had to push in a button and turn the handle several times to get the paper out. The woman clearly couldn't read the English word push. The two white women were getting rather irritated and upset at the lack of understanding of their instructions. I felt so helpless because to get involved would have been to cross these two Christian women and I was still too short to reach the dispenser myself. So I just went and got my hands soaped and rinsed and dried them on my clothes. Well, I'm never been sure what happened next but the hot water tap was on and running full tilt and the little girl was reaching for it. Her mother spotted the danger and went to stop her and in doing so the baby's barefoot got into the hot water. I remember the shriek of pain, the horror in the woman's eyes and the weird distortion of the skin. I bolted out the bathroom and screamed for help. Thankfully some of the women who had just got off of being the room attendant for the displays came and one of them knew Spanish. So they were able to communicate with the woman.

I got in a lot of trouble for shrieking for help and running in the hallway and for that I don't regret. But I have totally regretted not being able to communicate that day and definitely not standing up to the two women. I definitely an F for good conduct on that day.

Maybe that's harsh for a child just out of Kindergarten to feel like she screwed up and someone got hurt because of it but it's how I have felt. It's my shameful bit that I try to bury in the closet.

That's why my butts in the chair and I'm working on learning Spanish. Yes, I took it in high school but that was eons ago. The only useful stuff I got from it was how to order a beer and back my friend in a fight. Nothing practical that would help if I was in a situation like I was when I was a small child.

Part of my issue with what was adding to my struggle to speak it was having no clue and being exposed to Spanish as spoken in Spain and Spanish as spoken in Mexico. Mainly because the two students who led our class were from two different countries and neither could speak to the other. Which left me highly confused but was an excellent excuse to regularly blow up the lab in Chemistry.

Still, I push on hoping one day my brain will click and I can at least be fluent in understanding if I can't be a fluent coherent speaker of it. While I am not around the migrant workers like I was in my youth and what little I was around them didn't allow for much conversation let alone lessons, I do hope to be able to speak a little with them. At least I hope that they will see that I respect their language and do desire to converse with them even as I slaughter what I can say.

As I've said above I've been exposed to other languages and would like to learn them but I doubt it will ever come to be. As the window is rapidly closing on my being able to learn them.

I'd love to learn German, Greek, Russian, Czechkoslavician, Dutch, Norwegian, Italian, Crow, Cheyenne, Black Foot, Apache, Comanche, Navajo, Japanese, Chinese, Korean, and Vietmenise, ASL, . . . and maybe if there's time and my brain can handle it French.

As for Greek... I do possibly have a chance where this could be practical. However, it's been 10 yrs and I still can't make heads or tails of it. My friend says she'll work with me as soon as things calm down as it's her family's language and I'd like to be able to speak to the few elders left from my childhood but I doubt things will calm down enough for her to work with me considering she's studying to become a doctor.

As for the Japanese/Chinese/Korean/Vietmenise, I want to learn but I'm very gun shy about attempting it. I tried to once with some very encouraging teachers and full-on immersion but alas I tried to pay a compliment to one and put the wrong vowelish sound with the accent in the wrong place and it came out highly inappropriate and I've never looked back. Sadly the ones I would most likely converse in these with are all gone. I miss them dearly. Again I just want to be respectful and to be able to figure out what I'm getting or what I want to get when I am allowed to travel where there are actual stores and pharmacies with everything in one of these languages. And most of all I'd like to be able to say thank you and maybe just maybe read the messages in the cards and the few letters I have from the dearest family back when we were close.

I no longer have anyone who speaks Czechkoslavician so maybe I should cross that one off. Again it would be nice to be able to read the letters that were given to me by Tootsie

Now ASL that's more of a major refresher and do over. It's been a very long time since I've had to use it. I still remember a few signs and of course the alphabet. I am able to communicate via the alphabet and of course pen and paper. But I also tend to use the version of sign that I was taught and used the most frequently.

See my stepfather would go to the VA hospitals for various treatment. Sometimes I would escape and look for my Dad. Because of this, I made friends with some of the guys who seemed to live in the hospitals. It’s where I developed a strong love of institutional chocolate pudding and billiards.

One of the men was a crabby grumpus. He couldn't talk much as his face was severely scarred and he only had one arm/hand. left. he would use the alphabet to spell out his wants/needs to certain staff. I was horribly fascinated by his rapid one hand ballet. I would sit mesmerized by his movements and unabashedly stare and watch him often for hours. I don't know how it happened but one day I was given a card with the sign alphabet on it. My stepfather took it upon himself to beat it into my head. When I could make all the letters and be fairly accurate with reading them I thought I would show my friends a new skill I’d gained. I thought it might earn me an extra chocolate pudding. So I really looked forward to the next time we made the trip to the VA hospital.

I again crept in to watch the man do his one hand ballet. I gave away my position when I too loudly giggled at something he said. He signed something rather rude to me and the nurse said she saw my eyes light up and a huge grin split my face ear to ear and I finger spelled a word back. She remembers it as me telling him no and not nice. I don't recall what I signed back it's just too long ago. but it was the start of a beautiful friendship.

He gradually over the years taught me quite a few signs all in a one-handed way. Soon I became extremely versed and fluent in his form of sign. We'd go to the gift shop and cafeteria and he'd sign to me and I'd speak to whomever. The nurse said those were the moments he cherished best. She said that the biggest change in his recovery had to do with me coming to see him. I gave him a chance to go to places in the hospital he couldn't go to normally. I gave him the chance to get something immediately rather than waiting until he could communicate his desire to her or one of the other nurses willing to learn his version of sign and then waiting until they could carry out his purchase and bring it back to him either when they went on break or got off shift. I'm grateful I could do something for him even though it was so little.

Later another vet came in and then I learned another one hand version of sign. That paid off much later when I got out of high school as this gentleman was placed in a nursing home that I had a job in. Because of my already knowing his language I was frequently assigned to his care. The staff eventually noticed an improvement in him on the days I worked vs the days I didn't work or that I did but wasn't assigned to him. It really drove home the importance of communication and how English isn't always the best or only way to do so.

I've faced the struggle I'm going through now with learning ASL. My instructor luckily happened to know the 2nd veteran. And once she realized that I could communicate with him things got better in the class for me. Mainly because if I wasn't getting it with both hands she'd do it his way with one and with a little cueing I would eventually get it with both hands. Sadly I wasn't able to continue my lessons as life threw me a curve ball but because of those lessons In 3 of my jobs working retail, I was able to salvage some nasty situations. My signing was rusty even then but it was good enough to intervene and take a disgruntled customer turning them into a satisfied customer. Especially when my instructor would come in to shop. I miss having someone to sign with. I miss the ballet of hands. It's probably why I insisted that both my children take classes in signing when they were presented. I regret that neither stayed with it. but for a select few signs.

I always felt learning to sign was important. After all, we have a school for the death in the area. The community may not be huge or use sign as much as when I was a child so there doesn't seem to be as many who sign at present it totally doesn't negate the need to know sign. Again it's about respect. I do run through my sign dictionaries and some online stuff to keep my fingers limber but I know I need real human interaction because I'm finding it harder to read since I don't have anyone to sign with any longer.

None of this is about being little miss goody-two-shoes, know it all. All of it is about respecting and being able to communicate with someone not because it's mandatory but because it's the only way good communication can happen especially to help out or to prevent injury in another. So that's why even though I'm struggling my butt's in the chair and I'm trying to learn and planning to learn something beyond the English I speak, read, and write now.

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jnicole817 · 7 years

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Lessons Learned on Mission Trip in Europe

Hi Everyone! As some of you know, I spent the first month of summer in Europe on a mission trip with Kontaktmission USA traveling to Germany, Belgium, and Albania. I’m going to share with you the lessons I learned in Europe while serving the Lord. I’m so over the moon excited to share it with all of you because if I’m being honest, it was one of the BEST months of my entire life and an absolutely amazing experience that I’m just fortunate enough to have been blessed with. I can’t thank each of you enough for supporting me either financially or through prayers or those of you who helped with my spaghetti dinner fundraiser. You all rock and I’m blessed to have an incredible church family.

This blog post can never truly compare or begin to express the experience I had overseas. My life and my heart have been forever changed. – Which reminds me of quote by Tony Stoltzfus “The heart speaks the language of experience. To change the heart, you must experience something different.” And let’s just say my experience changed my heart in so many ways.

So when I started to think about what I wanted to share with all of you, I was overwhelmed with thoughts and didn’t even know where to start because I learned A LOT while I was away and grew more spiritually in the past month while in Europe than in the past 4 years being a Christian probably. I learned so much about different cultures, different languages, what being a Christian looks like in other countries, what the Global church looks like (how we have family everywhere in Christ), about trust and faith in God, and a ton about myself as a person.

However, I don’t have time to share every single detail of my month long trip with you so I decided to focus on the few biggest lessons I learned while I was away. And I’m going to share/include a few brief testimonies of some of my dear friends in Albania (Aurela, Brisi, Dorina and Daniel) because they are a part of some of the lessons I learned as they witnessed to me and showed me the love of Jesus Christ.

First, I learned to TRUST JESUS 100% to provide for us in every way we need Him. Because HE will; we just have to trust Him. One of the verses I wrote down on a note card to take with me for my trip was Psalm 16:8 – “I will always look to you, as you stand beside me and protect me from fear.” My motto lately has been “Faith OVER Fear.” There is a quote that I want to try and live out; it is - “Fear can be what we feel – but brave is what we do”- Ann Voskamp

I used to base so many of my decisions on fear alone, and looking back on that – I missed out on so much.

Here is an example:

So when I began planning this month long journey to Europe, Albania wasn't even in the picture. I was only supposed to visit Germany and Belgium and then last minute and just a few short weeks before my scheduled leave date, the director of Kontaktmission proposed a visit to Albania as well. One of the first questions I asked was if I would have to travel alone and if I would have to fly there because I knew I was going to be with other Americans traveling throughout Germany and Belgium and I hate traveling alone because I am afraid and I don’t care to fly. This trip was my first time traveling internationally alone, and I was terrified. However, I told myself if I can fly from the States to Germany alone, then I could suck it up and fly from Belgium to Greece alone (then had a 5 hour drive from Greece to Albania). So after much thought and prayer, I decided to go to Albania as well. I realized I would miss out on experiencing another country in Europe all because I was fearful, and I told myself that I would not base another huge decision on fear alone!!

And now looking back, Albania was my most favorite part of the trip and I am so glad I don’t have to live with regret. I chose faith over fear, and here is how the Lord blessed me in return for trusting Him…

He gave me a sign while I was there and showed me my purpose. It was a sign that no matter if I ever do missions overseas again or not that I was meant to be there that month (specifically that I was meant to come to Albania). I feel as if I was called to go there specifically to meet the most beautiful soul, Aurela, who was pictured in my video - to pray with her, to get to know her, and to speak truth into her and encourage her. She was such a blessing to me. And GUESS WHAT lesson she taught me?!?! She taught me to choose faith over fear. Oh, the irony!

I’m going to share with you a brief version of her testimony now and explain the lesson she taught me through it.

Aurela is a 24 year old Albanian girl with the most beautiful heart and she has the strongest faith of anyone I have ever met. She worked on staff at the Bible school where I did ministry at while I was there (she is their church worship leader and cleans and cooks). Previously to working there on staff, she attended the Bible school (she has been there since she was only 15 yrs. old). From the outside, she is just a beautiful girl who loves others as Jesus does daily. However, I had the privilege to get to know her on the inside (to hear her entire story). Claus (the German American who hosted me along with his wife) told me that she had thyroid cancer, and I had noticed her scar on her neck and assumed that because my best friend Allie here in the states had the same thing last year and has the same exact scar from it. During our morning prayer and devotion time as a staff, Aurela would ask for prayer for her health but she was vague about it and so I thought nothing more of it. However, after being there a few days, on Sunday afternoon before our 2nd church service, I felt compelled to pray over her. She doesn’t speak much English (maybe 10 words or so) so I asked my Albanian friend Brisi to translate for us and she agreed. While I was praying for healing over her, I also decided to share about my best friend Allie and her situation and I said I can only imagine what you are going through and I told her that Allie had been healed from the cancer and that I hoped the same for her. Since I opened up to her, she decided to open up with me and shared her story with me. She said she couldn’t believe she was telling anyone let alone a stranger and a foreigner her story and about her battle with cancer. She was diagnosed with thyroid cancer about 6 months ago and had a procedure/surgery done on February 29th (the day after her 24th birthday). After the procedure, she lost her voice (she has the voice of an angel – you got to hear it in the video!) and the doctors told her it would never come back. For 14 days, she didn’t have a voice and was devastated – HOWEVER thru PRAYER and trusting the Lord, after 14 days her voice came back (it’s not as strong as it used to be, but she has it!) She called to tell her doctor and he was shocked, he said it was a miracle - which we all know it was. Therefore, she told me she still leads worship and sings no matter how weak her voice is and how much it hurts (bc she is in constant pain due to the procedure and has a tube in her chest/lung area) ALL BECAUSE she will worship and praise Jesus for giving her her voice back!!! The doctors also told her she will probably only live a few months. Because Here’s the deal though, Albania doesn’t have the medicine and the doctors that we have easily accessible here in America. Albanians also only make on average $4 a day! Therefore, she doesn’t have the means to afford follow up analysis appointments/treatments and the medications she needs to take to help her get better. But it’s been almost 6 months now, and she is still ALIVE! PRAISE JESUS!! This girl is a true example of Christ’s love. She welcomed us crazy Americans (me and a team of World Race girls) into her dorm room at CFN Albania’s Bible school where she lives and let us do life with her – no questions asked. She catered to our every need – everyday she would ask me if I needed anything or needed her help with something. One day she invited me to stay over with her and the World Race girls in her room – she wanted us to have a sleepover! That night she took me out to the lake and we walked on the beach. The next day I wanted to go for ice cream and asked her to go with me for the walk. This girl asked her friend Dorina and then her sister for money (bc she didn’t have any) and she wanted to treat me for ice cream. Let me tell you – an ice cream cone w/ two scoops in Albania is only 50 cents. She scraped up the little money she could to treat me even though she doesn’t have any money for her cancer treatment or for clothes on her back!! And I refused time and time again, but she insisted. That is the LOVE OF CHRIST. THAT IS FAITH OVER FEAR!! She trusts GOD with her life daily!!! She trusts the Lord with life and death!!! And I can’t even trust Him some days to provide me with a job in this season of my life. WAKE UP CALL, Jenn!! TRUST THE LORD. ALWAYS. CHOOSE FAITH OVER FEAR in all circumstances every day of your life! Her story is what TRULY TRUSTING GOD looks like!!!

If you all knew me years ago, I was such a scaredy cat (well I still am if you ask my friend Niki, ha-ha). However, in the past few years since becoming a Christian, God has pushed me so much out of my comfort zone. With public speaking, with mission trips and roughing it sometimes, with making the decision to change career paths at the age of 31, etc. My parents and sister (but esp. my mom and my twin sister) were in UTTER SHOCK when I first told them I was going on a mission trip to Haiti with Impact 3 years ago, and in even MORE SHOCK when I told them I was going to Europe for another mission trip ALONE (with no team, no one I knew at all) for an ENTIRE month to 3 different countries. They could absolutely not believe that I, Jenn, was going to be staying in hostels, with different families that I didn’t know, with people of different cultures and languages; traveling alone, flying alone, etc. And you know what? I couldn’t believe it either!! I couldn’t believe I said yes to this!!! BUT (as my friend Sue and I love to say!), God makes me brave and courageous. He gives me the strength and courage to complete His purpose and to follow His will for me.

With Him, we can do all things - as stated in Phil 4:13

13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

Also a quote that I read that I love is “You have to step out in faith even when you are vibrating in fear.” - Bill Hybels

He provides for us always and anywhere. I had to trust Him and know that He is the same God here in Pittsburgh as He is overseas in Europe. While I was overseas, I faced a few challenges, but He always came through! When I was physically and emotionally exhausted, he gave me strength to push on. When I was experiencing culture shock, He comforted me. When I would reach out to Him in prayer, He would bless me tenfold and showed me the power of prayer. I never got homesick once while I was gone; because He put the perfect people in my path everywhere I went and showed me my purpose in each place/country

(I’ll share a few examples) –

First weekend in Germany I met:

- Alex: a former missionary friend, he was on my mission trip to Haiti in 2015. Ha-ha WOW!

- Holli: 18 yr. old American girl who traveled thru Germany with me – I shared my testimony which most of you know while she was there, and she just happens to have a similar past and we could relate well.

Mallorie – an American missionary who hosted us in Hannover, Germany – who was the EXACT same person as my best friend Niki (both sing, both play piano, same personality, has kids, same exact marriage, random bursts of singing musicals etc.) INSANE!

Albania:

- Aurela – same cancer as my best friend Allie

- The World Race girls when I needed young American girls to talk to and confide in and they are on similar journey as me!

And just how HE provided overseas, HE will provide here at home for me too with my next steps and finding a new job and providing financially for me. All I have to do is TRUST HIM.

Lyrics from Oceans: (these words stuck out to me while I was away)

- "Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders Let me walk upon the waters Wherever You would call me Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander And my faith will be made stronger In the presence of my Savior"

I've heard this song a thousand times before and it's always been one of my favorite songs, however, these words from it were in my head for several days while I was in Europe. I couldn’t get them out of my mind. Although, this time the lyrics were speaking something different to me. I was hearing them in a different context. I was thinking more in terms of physical borders. Borders of countries. Our God is the same everywhere. There are NO BORDERS!!!

Second, I learned that Jesus + nothing = EVERYTHING.

Another amazing lesson that I learned recently while I was away in Europe, and then it was also reinforced when I returned back in the States because apparently it was the title of the message series here at Impact while I was overseas is that Jesus + nothing = EVERYTHING!!! Oh my goodness - truer words have never been spoken!

For the first time in my life, I feel as if everything and I mean everything has been taken away from me. I have lost my job/career of almost 10 years and am worried I’m going to lose my home as a result. I have lost friends of 10 plus years due to differences in lifestyles and opinions. I feel as if I have truly lost my family (parents, twin sister and my precious nephew). Basically, I feel as if I have nothing left. However, it's made me rely on Jesus more than ever!! I truly believe that He removed these things so that I would desire Him more and have to truly rely on Him because He is all I have left. And let me tell you, it's not been easy but I have never had so much PEACE! Therefore, yes -- Jesus + nothing = EVERYTHING!!! I have witnessed it first hand and it's been absolutely incredible. I am experiencing things I would have never experienced as result of Him taking things away. WOW, just WOW is all I can say.

Third, I learned that we should be so grateful that we were blessed to be born and live in America and to stop taking so many things for granted.

Here are just a few reasons as to why:

- 1. Modern medicine in America (like I explained previously about my dear sister Aurela with thyroid cancer) – something here we can treat fairly easily bc we have the specialists and good doctors and medicine to help treat it whereas they do not. She has to drive 3 hours to Tirana, the capital of Albania to get medicine when she can even afford it because local pharmacies don’t carry it and she has to take an Italian drug (they just don’t have the medical advances we do).

- 2. Accessibility of Christian churches, fellow Christians, and most importantly JESUS - less than 1% of Albania is Christians; not many evangelical Christians churches at all. Here, we have Christian churches EVERYWHERE…there are multiples in just ONE town. We don’t even realize how blessed we are with that. I’ll be honest I don’t know if I would have found God without my fellow Christian friends…so you can imagine not being able to find any Christian friends? Community is SO important and we should be so grateful that we can find that easily here in the States. Look at the "one another" passages all through the New Testament. For example, in Hebrews 10:25 "And let us not neglect our meeting together as some people do, but encourage one another especially now that the day of his return is drawing near." Community is Biblical, and while our faith is our own personal responsibility (thru prayer and Bible reading) it's also our personal responsibility to find believers to share with and serve with, and we are in ample supply of that in the States.

Now I’m going to share a few of my Albanian friends’ testimonies to show how awesome Jesus is and to prove that He is everywhere and always pursuing us.

- Brisi’s testimony first: Brisi is a 21 yr. old intern at CFN Albania’s Bible school. During Sunday service in Pogradec there was a time where they asked if anyone wanted to come up and share a testimony of faith. My friend Brisi approached the front of the room and shared this incredible story: she shared that she was grateful that after much prayer, the Lord provided a Christian church plant in Pogradec (the church we were in –it’s only a few years old). She said all she wanted was a place to be with others and worship the Lord. She also encouraged us to make Jesus our number 1 priority. She said some of her friends would say they were too busy each day to read their Bibles. She encouraged all of us to spend at least 1 to 1.5 hours a day reading our Bibles and being in the Word, and praising Jesus. I know we all know this and we all know we should, but it was super convicting to me (because we do take something this simple for granted and we are guilty of being “too busy” as well).

- Daniel’s testimony: Daniel was a 29 yr. old guy who was an intern at the Bible school I did ministry at as well. He used to be a Muslim and even teach Islam and now he is a Christian and spreading the gospel – SO COOL!!!

- Dorina’s testimony: Islam is one of the main religions of Albania, along with Greek Orthodox and Catholicism. However, during cell group (which is basically church/in home bible study we attended with the intent to become a church plant), there were many young members (ages 16-29 probably) who were new to Christianity and their parents/families were Muslims but they still allowed them to attend the cell group. Even Dorina (23 yr. old intern at bible school) whose home the cell group meets in is Muslim – but her mother allows her to host a Christian group there anyways. Dorina’s two sisters have now come to know Jesus thru her and I’m praying that one day she will reach her parents as well. So powerful.

- 3. Our freedom and safety – I met with an Iraqi refugee in Belgium. He was 28 yrs. Old. He has been living in Belgium for about a year now learning the language and looking for work. When he escaped Iraq, he was separated from his family (his parents and brothers fled to Turkey and Germany). Anyways he was telling us that a few days earlier that his Afghanistan neighbor was found dead in his apartment building in Belgium. They think it was a murder, and the police were investigating it. I asked him if he was afraid to stay there now, and he replied with a straight face and said “not at all, I have seen so much worse back in Iraq.” I just sat there in amazement. At such a young age, he has seen so much tragedy and death and witnessed horrible things. Things that I will probably never see in my entire life time, and all I could do was thank God for that. Again, we don’t even realize how good we have it in America, and how blessed we are to live here.

Fourth, I was reminded that we are not alone in our struggles. People all over the WORLD have the same issues/struggles as we do. As most of you know, I struggle with depression and anxiety. Well when I was in Brussels, Belgium, I learned that they have one the highest suicide rates in the world. I also ended up sharing my testimony in both Germany and Albania and reached others during both. One of the fellow Americans I traveled with in Germany who heard my testimony, Holli (the 18-yr. old I mentioned earlier) happens to have a similar past so she could relate to me. Then in Albania, I was informed about the Blue Whale challenge, which is a 50 day challenge which ends in suicide on the 50th day (last day). Apparently a 14 yr. old girl in Albania took her life after completing the challenge and that is why it was so well-known there. So sad and just goes to show you that struggles are everywhere and we are not alone.

Fifth, I was reminded that when we are a blessing to others and when we serve the Lord with our whole heart, mind and soul that HE blesses us in return tenfold. While I was in Belgium, I visited with several different sets of missionaries (about 6 or 7; married ones, single ones, ones with children, etc.). It was so awesome to hear their stories and challenges about life on the mission field. However, while I thought I was being blessed by them and learning so much about missions, one of the missionary couples thanked us for encouraging them and for taking the time to travel to Europe and to spend time with each of them to pray with them, etc. I was floored because here I thought I was the one being encouraged. It was so cool to see how we can encourage and bless each other at the same time. Same with my dear friend Aurela in Albania, I was just telling her this week what a blessing she is to me and how much she has taught me about faith, and she said that I’m a blessing to her and that she loves talking to me every day.

Sixth, I was reminded that missionaries are needed everywhere! Even here in the States! Even though certain parts of Europe (such as Belgium and Germany) and America may be physically wealthy, we are still spiritually poor. Christianity is dying here in America as well. The gospel needs to be shared wherever you are. Anyone can be a missionary even right here in our own country!! Similar to that, it has been super-duper cool to have non-believers ask me about my mission trip. I have also seen my mom’s faith grow while I was away on my trip through the letters she sent me. God has definitely used me to witness to others in the states through my trip in various ways. He uses us to be an example to others by just living out our daily lives for Him.

And Lastly, I want to share one more thing. This is more something that I’m grateful for than a lesson. I am SO GRATEFUL that laughing/smiling, crying, and Jesus is the SAME in every language/culture. It was amazing to see how with Jesus I was able to build relationships regardless of the cultural and language barriers. We have family (Christian sisters and brothers) everywhere all over the world because OF JESUS!! Despite the differences, we share one thing in common (that is our faith in Jesus) and we are connected by Him!!!

In closing, I’d like to challenge each of us to be a missionary in our everyday lives. Why can’t YOU be a missionary here in your day to day life?!?! In order to receive more from God and from our lives, we need to give of ourselves. Not in a codependent way (a way that diminishes ourselves or looking for worth/validation from others) but in a way that shows that we are different. That we're not looking out for "number 1" but that we are living our lives FOR number 1 and that's God. So I encourage each of you to think about that as you leave here tonight and think of ways to spread the Gospel to others!!!

#missions missionary lessons Jesus GodisGood

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