#if you want me to call you zaddy just say so

[soapsbaby]

Silly Spicy Call of Duty headcanons

Characters: Simon "Ghost" Riley, Johnny "Soap" MacTavish, König, Kyle "Gaz" Garrick, Alejandro Vargas, Rodolfo "Rudy" Parra, John Price, Valeria Garza, all x reader Rating: 18+ (Minors DNI) Themes: All NSFW but very lighthearted, nothing particularly triggering but ask to tag! Word count: 750ish

These are just silly little headcanons about them, PLEASE if you have any like these send them to me i had such a blast writing them lol!!

Ghost

Sometimes his mask slips a little and he looks goofy as hell, you have to do your best to not laugh into his face because you know he won’t let that slide.

Uses British lingo sometimes. Has called your pussy a “fanny” before. Got mad when that made you giggle.

Once got so frustrated with trying to figure out how to operate one of your vibrators that he broke it. Was very apologetic and immediately ordered you another one afterwards.

Soap

He is clumsy as hell. Every time you have tried to fuck in a position that is anywhere near athletic, something goes wrong. It’s a miracle neither of you have broken your necks trying to get it on in the shower. He will always take the fall though, protecting you with everything he has and curling himself around you even if it means he will end up bruised or bleeding.

Makes a lot of typos when sexting, never notices. Called you “baby gorilla” once (you will never let him live that down).

Gets offended when you call him “Soap” in the bedroom. You know my name, what are you calling me that for? Dummy.

König

He doesn’t usually wear his balaclava under his mask when you have sex since it gets too sweaty but since his mask is pretty loose he will sometimes have to pft-ppf-tpftt when it gets stuck in his mouth. Has almost choked on his mask before.

Gets so flustered that he will just start sputtering nonsense. Has on several occasions been so out of it that he has messed up the nicknames you use for each other. “yes show me that I am your little babygirl, wait- no, you are… I am your boy… you’re… Wait, I’m sorry”. Not a gender or kink thing, which would of course be alright with you, just him being a dummy.

Is a bit of a crier and drooler sometimes which wouldn't be a problem except for the fact that he will sometimes accidentally waterboard himself in his mask and not tell you.

Gaz

Has called you mommy once and was mortified. Neither of you have really spoken about it but sometimes you will drop little hints around him to get him flustered.

Likes when you suck him off while he is playing video games but then gets too into the game and genuinely can’t help but get annoyed when he loses because you distract him.

Cpt Price

Is oblivious to any signs that you want him. Will go into Dad story telling mode and completely ignore the effect he is having on you until you grab him by the shirt and just tell him to fuck you.

Has a sex playlist called "sensual" with just the most cliché sex songs on it possible. Can unironically have sex to "Careless Whisper" and “Let’s get it on”.

Has given you rug burn with his beard before. 0/10 very unpleasant experience (you’d do it again, though).

Alejandro

Will say things that could be interpreted as sexist in the moment and then immediately get apologetic. Who’s my good slut? I mean… If you want to be. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to… Are you okay with that? Okay. Cool.

Will fuck you in uniform because he knows you’re into that and then get distracted by things he finds in his pockets like shopping receipts. 

Doesn’t care whether or not you understand him, he will speak Spanish to you.

Rudy

Gets tormented by you with new pet names every day. mí amor, I don't know what a Zaddy is. I don’t even know if that’s a good thing.

In the beginning of your relationship he was completely oblivious to most kinks. If you ever expressed anything out of the ordinary to you, he’d raise his eyebrows in confusion and say something like “what? why would anyone want that?” but was always open to trying anything. Now he is probably even more of a deviant than you are.

Valeria

Has this roleplay thing going on where you are a traitor to her cause and she discovers it and gets to “punish” you. You find it a little silly but it gets her super riled up so you play along.

Secretly loves to bottom and to be taken care of by you but would never tell you (you know anyway). Thinks she is being very good at hiding it (she is not).

#call of duty imagine #call of duty x reader #oh lord there's gonna be so many tags on this help #ghost x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #soap x reader #johnny mactavish x reader #könig x reader #konig x reader #gaz x reader #kyle garrick x reader #alejandro vargas x reader #rodolfo parra x reader #valeria garza x reader #captain price x reader #cod fanfiction #cod x reader #ari writes

[ma3mae]

"I feel like sleeping on the couch tonight"

Summary: Pranking your hubby/bf by telling them that ^ and how they'd react (fukuzawa, ranpo, tecchou)

Genre: kinda cracky, def some fluff and more tooth rotting fluff 💀🛐

Warnings: tecchou whipped for ur cute ass, me barking for fukuzawa, ranpo being a child.

A/N: saw it from a reel on insta and immediately HAD to use that inspo, okurr 😤✋originally wanted to add fyodor but ill prob do it in a part 2 thingy

Fukuzawa Yukichi

Ok so first off hes a major workaholic so you prob often fall asleep on the couch during some movie watching while waiting for him at home

always feels apologetic and even guilty bc not only as his lover but as a person, you should be sleeping in the comforts of your bed

will always carry you to bed bc he wouldnt want to wake you up as well. You already did enough by trying to stay up for him

So you can see how surprised he is when he finally arrives at home at reasonable hours and you lying wide awake on the couch

And you suddenly blurt that shit out?? HES ALSO PROB TIRED AF ILL MASSAGE U, ZADDY WOOF

takes a seat next to you and immediately asks if theres a reason for that

wont jump to conclusions but will still be a bit taken back and worried that it might be his fault...

"Nah, i just feel like it today." "Oh okay, well if you say so" SOBBING FR

He values honesty above all else and wouldnt doubt that you'd be pranking or lying to him tbh and overall your comfort is one of his main priorities

So he'll let it go but still be saddened that you dont wanna sleep in your shared bed :((

A sudden idea pops up in his head bc at some point even he wants to still be in his lover's arms especially after work

Its already sad enough that yall cant do it whenever u want to D: HUG HIM FFS

********

"Then I shall join you on the couch if you're alright with it?" Before you can even say anything, he takes a seat right next to you. You shuffled your feet away from him to give him some space, focusing your gaze onto the TV. You knew if you'd look at him, you'd immediately stop the prank. His gaze alone would make anyone confess their biggest secrets and well, you didn't want to spoil the fun yet.

Yet it only needed a clearing of his throat to turn your attention towards him and oh no...

You couldn't do it. How would you? When he was looking at you like you just kicked a ton of cats infront of him.

"Y/N."

NO! DON'T SAY ANYTHING

"I'm sorry if I have been neglecting you lately. If there's anything I can d-"

"It's prank.."

You sat up as you took his hands into yours.

"I didn't mean to make you feel like you've been neglecting me... I just saw it online and thought it was a funny prank."

Blinking his eyes in confusion, his gaze softened at your words.

He pulls his hands back before wrapping them around you, gently pressing your bodies closer as you felt his lips on your head.

"Even if it's just a prank, I have still been neglecting my duties as your husband lately and apologize greatly for that."

Slightly pulling back, you feel his rough hand cupping your cheek.

Eyes full of love looking into your glassy ones as he lets his thumb stroke a stray tear away.

"I apologize deeply for making you feel in such a way that you had to" prank" me as you called it. You must have felt lonely these days but don't worry. I will make sure to return home earlier because I have also been missing you, my love. "

After a loving kiss and an enjoyable evening, he had kept his word for the future days and if something would change, he made sure to notify you immediately.

Yet at the end of the day, he would always return to your beloved home and into your arms for the night.

**********

Yall, dont be surprised in how FAST we confessed

look me in the eyes and say you wouldnt spill everything out when THIS man looks at you like he'd give you the world if he could 🛐🛐

He'd def try his best to keep his promise but sometimes yokohama takes a bit longer to save but dw he'll make time for you bc happy wife happy life

cook him smth, massage him, just be there for him and let him lie on your chest or smth and he'll already feel so blessed

we all wanna pamper him ok, he be raising a whole orphanage so someone gotta pamper him too

I just want me a nice fukuzaddy alright 😩😩😩😩

Edogawa Ranpo

He'll give you the biggest side eye fr 👁️

like?? Hello?? Why sleep on the couch when you can be in bed with the world's greatest detective???

Will fr shame you for that ngl

He obviously knows its a prank but he cant believe you have the AUDACITY to do it to him

You are literally challenging a MAN CHILD, have fun 🤓

For the sake of it, you did the prank after knowing that it was a pretty uneventful day at the agency but oh dont worry

This man WILL gaslight u into thinking it wasnt 💀

*******

"So you want to sleep on the couch, huh?"

There he stood infront of you, arms crossed, the biggest pout he could muster on his face and blocking your sight of the TV as you continued to nonchalantly munch on HIS chips he had hidden under the bed.

"Well, I just feel like it."

""wElL i jUsT fEEl LikE iT", she says. Then I feel like taking MY chips back, thank you very much!"

Before he could snatch them away, you immediately turned your back towards him, clutching the bag tightly in your arms.

"Y/N, YOU'RE BREAKING THE CHIPS?!?!"

"and I'M sleeping on the couch."

Silence fills the room for some seconds before you hear a huff behind you. Hasty steps making their way towards your shared bedroom before the door being shut quite loudly.

Doubt was creaking through your resolve, asking if you were maybe overdoing it.

"Nah, he knows I'm joking....Right?"

An hour passed before he came back, flopping himself down onto your legs and you could just feel how he was pressing down harder on purpose so there'd be no way to leave.

"Ow, Ranpo?! Get off of my legs!!"

Yet his sharp gaze stopped you, not giving you the slightest chance to tell him off.

It made you nervous, how he just sat there with his arms crossed, eyes not leaving yours.

Was he threatening or mocking you??

You weren't sure.

"You know, Y/N..." He slowly began as you felt him press down even harder.

"I really don't appreciate what you're doing right now."

"H-Huh, what do you mean?"

He physically had to hold himself back from laughing at your clueless face because oh...

Oh, you wanted to prank him? Then be ready to get it handed back at you even worse.

"So many people have been hurt today, all these lives the Agency had to save with MY help. You don't know how many eyes I had to witness as they were about to lose their light in them. So many were at Death's door and we managed to help them. Now I'm tired and ready to be welcomed by the comforts of my home and the love of my life pulling me into her arms, telling me how proud she is of me of having LITERALLY saved the city and maybe wanting to lighten that burden on my shoulders I have to carry every day? "

He pressed his index finger on your forehead as he leaned in closer.

"That's not very nice of you, you know. Imagine you'd be the World's Greatest Detective and coming home exhausted but your lover decides to be weird and seemingly not EVEN appreciating my work. Can't relate to that, right?"

You hated him.

You hated him so much for how he exactly knew what to say to get what he wanted.

But that's also what made you fall in love with him at the first place.

"If so many people have been hurt then why didn't I see it o-"

"We have ties, Y/N. Of course they wouldn't broadcast something like that on TV. Do you know what chaos it would cause to this city and possibly the world? "

It only made you frown as he clicked his tounge at you while waving his finger at your words.

"Now, now you know what you should be saying after pulling such a stunt like this. Especially after I have worked so hard today."

Pulling your blanket over your head to break from his intense gaze seemed to do nothing, as he had just simply snatched it out of your hands.

"I'm not gonna apologize to you for that! Just wanted to pull a prank on you and you just have to turn it onto me!"

He merely shrugged his shoulders.

"Well, what did you expect? You should be glad that I didn't give it back to you ten times worse. Just wanted to go home, eat your cooking and maybe cuddle but I might actually not do that at all today."

"Ugh, you're such a buzzkill."

You just sighed at his words and he suddenly found himself in your arms.

He turned towards you with a frown on his face yet his reddened face seemed to lessen the effect of his next words.

"H-Hey! I didn't say that I forgive you for your prank!"

"Well but I forgive you for trying to make me feel bad for it. If you wanted me to cuddle and kiss you then just say so. You knew it was a prank after all."

"But I didn't like it when you said that you'd rather sleep on the couch than on the bed today..."

His voice resonated through your chest as he pressed his face against it, muffled words accompanied with a whiny tone.

"I never said, I would sleep without you though?"

A laugh escaped you as his head shot up, big eyes meeting your amused ones.

Yet he only gave a pout at your words as he went back to your chest, wanting to hide his embarassement from you.

"You're mean but I still love you. You owe me candy for putting me through this, though."

You only let your hand glide through his hair before settling it on his neck, giving light scratches to the spots he liked.

A satisfied sigh escaped him and soon the room was filled with only noises from your TV.

"I'm already sweet enough so that should suffice as" candy", right? And that was your pick up line not mine so I'll stick to what you meant."

"Yeah, yeah. Now let's just cuddle in peace, okay."

A comforting silence grew between the both of you as you later on fell asleep together, a smile etched on each face.

********

This was SO long lmao but next time you'll prank him, he'll just dump some water on u bc thats sparing you from him at this point

bRO COULD legit just expose everything of u but he wouldnt bc he loves u too much 💕💕💕😤😤😤

Suehiro Tetchou

bro, thats like the worst prank u could do to him bc... he wouldnt get it first...

the only reaction you'll get is 🙂 him when he greets you > 😐 when u tell him that

hes gonna be fr confused like... why does his partner want to sleep on the couch but... okay?????

Honestly i think he wouldnt protest right out but at the end of the day, even he wants some cuddles after work :(

*********

Tecchou was excited. No one would really know about it if it wasn't for the light smile adorning his face as he thought about going home.

The only one who'd notice is Jouno but he didn't really care enough to mention anything about it.

He'd merely click his tounge when his annoying ass colleague would take a bit longer to respond to his questions, only saying the words "Just go home if even the smallest things are distracting for you."

Jouno could swear he was about to kick him in his face when he'd hear him turn towards him and only reply with "Y/N is smaller than me but not the smallest thing though."

"JUST LEAVE ALREADY, OH MY GOD!! I can't listen to your rambling about them any longer!"

Only he could nearly make Jouno groan in agony as he turned and began to walk away, not wanting to be near that idiot, knowing he'd just be looking like a lovestruck dumbass to everyone around them.

Tecchou only blinked at his partner's outburst, yet took his word and began to make his way home.

An exasperated sigh left Jouno's lips as he heard his footsteps yet it didn't surprise him at all.

He just couldn't get it around his head how someone could even be into that guy but oh well.

It's not his problem as long as it doesn't disrupt their work.

After all he had to give his thanks to that weirdo's partner for having given him a way to make him comply more easily.

It took him a simple "Just finish already and then you can go home."

"Okay."

Would be his only answer every damn time yet Jouno couldn't help but let out a small smirk when he'd hear the racing pulse of their enemies as if it was a declaration of Death from the Grim Reaper himself in their eyes.

Finally arriving at home, Tecchou would take off his coat and hat, hanging it onto the designated stand for such things.

A soft smile adorned his face as he walked into the living room of your shared apartment, finding you laying comfortably on the couch, the crinkling of stuffing your hand into the pack of spicy potato chips echoing through the room as a cackle escaped your lips.

"Trash TV's surprisingly entertaining if it's done right, HA! "

"Y/N."

A yelp escaped you as you sat up and whipped your head around, only to see your boyfriend standing behind you.

Tecchou was unfazed by your surprise,reaching for your face to wipe the potato crumbs on your lips with his thumb.

"Mmh, chips. The spicy one's are especially tasty with mustard and red pepper." He told you as he licked the crumbs off of his thumb, a smile adorning his face as he sat himself down next to you.

Laying his head onto your lap, the soft fuzzy blanket covering it, making it all the more welcome for him to lay on them.

He had randomly gifted them to you one day, simply because "it reminded him of you".

Fuzzy and warm. That's how he'd always feel when thinking, looking and touching you.

"That sounds like a really weird combo." You replied as you smiled at his words, settling your hand on his head before let your fingers run along his scalp and scratching the right spots, making him sigh as he pressed his face against your stomach, snuggling into it.

"Are you tired, honey? You could go to bed, you know?" You asked him as he closed his eyes, breathing evening out while he wrapped his arms around your waist, enjoying your smell and warmth.

"Just wanna cuddle right now."

"Alright." You replied with, thinking about how you'd tell him the words you've been wanting to say for a while now.

An hour passed before you felt your boyfriend stir a bit, finally turning his head up to you, yet his arms still enclosed around their original spot.

Your legs were cramping at this point but how could you tell that your boyfriend when he just looked so cute like that??

"Had a nice nap?"

"Yeah, it was nice but I'm still tired..."

"You can go to bed if you'd like. Have you eaten anything yet though?"

"I have after the mission. I think I'll go to bed though."

Tetchou stood up and made his way to the bathroom, getting ready for bed.

After 10 minutes, he found himself back on the couch, a slight furrow of his eyebrows as he asked.

"Aren't you going to bed with me?"

Welp, straightforward as always.

"Uhmm no, I feel like sleeping on the couch today. Sorry, honey..."

"Oh. That's okay."

Blinking at his reply, he gave you a peck on the lips before going to your shared bedroom, the shutting of the door being the last sign of him before you were left alone on the couch.

You had forgotten that he wouldn't see any fault in that...

So was it really a prank? You didn't know, feeling a bit guilty yet you stuck to your plan.

Maybe he'd notice something was wrong the next day....

.

.

.

"Y/N."

You felt a hand slightly shaking you, making you stir in your sleep before slowly opening your eyes, recognizing the face of your boyfriend through your blurry sight.

"T-Tetchou??"

There he was kneeling before you so you'd be face to face as you lied on the couch, having fallen asleep after your continious marathon of trash TV.

Blinking to get a clear sight of him, you could see slight eyebags under his eyes.

"I can't sleep without you, Y/N. Come to bed or let's sleep on the couch together."

He suggested as he cupped your cheek with his hand, leaning his forehead against yours.

Hazel eyes bore into yours as the guilt inside of you went haywire.

"I'm so sorry, Tetchou. I should have gone to bed with you."

"But you said you wanted to sleep on the couch which is no problem at all."

You let out a sigh as you sat up, hands fiddling with your blanket, feeling him instantly lay his arms and head onto your lap, his eyes refusing to leave your face.

"Well... It was a prank."

He merely blinked at your words, seemingly processing your words.

"Why would you say that you'd want to sleep on the couch as a prank? Isn't a prank something like hurting someone but making it seem like an accident?"

"Yeah well, I did hurt you."

Your only reply was him furrowing his eyebrows as stood up, only to take a seat next to you.

Letting him pull you onto his lap, he gently cupped your face in his hands.

"But you never did?" His obliviousness was taking a toll onto you.

The guilt was surely consuming you. He was so honest to a fault and that made itself apparent in how he'd perceive anyone else especially you.

He would never think that YOU would ever do something to hurt him.

How could he? You loved him and he loved you.

Why should someone hurt the person they love the most?

"But Tetchou, I-I did. You couldn't sleep because I didn't go to bed with you and I had a hunch you'd probably get up and talk to me about it but I wasn't sure so I... stuck to it."

You couldn't look him in the eyes, yet the sudden lips on your forehead made your gaze shift onto his, confused eyes clashing against slight amused ones.

"That's not hurting me. Don't worry, Y/N. I'm used to pranks even if yours isn't one. Jouno would often do that too."

"Jouno??? Since when does he even do something like pranking??"

"Well he would sometimes just not reply when I talk to him or try to make me trip when I'm about to deal with the enemy. He would sometimes just click his tounge and walk away because it never works on me though. Heh, it's kinda funny if I think about it now. "

Ah.

How would you tell him that it was just Jouno being a dick.

You couldn't help but sweatdrop at his words, the guilt being comepletely wiped away as you thought that it would be better for their... colleagueship to just leave them be.

"That does sound funny... But maybe let's just go to bed. It is late after all."

"Hm, but I haven't forgiven you yet."

Eyes bulging yet narrowing at his words as you saw the corners of his lips rise up, a small but definite smirk decorating his handsome features.

"Hey!! You just said that I didn't even prank you!"

He let out a breathy laugh as you yelped, having lifted you up with ease and making his way to the bedroom.

"Yeah but u got pranked, heh."

You could only let out a "Hmph!" at his words yet not stopping the smile spreading on your face as he laid you down onto the bed, immediately laying down next to you and wrapping his arms around you, your legs entangling with each other as he pressed a soft kiss onto your lips.

"I think Jouno is being a bad influence on you." you teased as he let a hand glide through your hair.

"Hm maybe but I can now understand when he says" give them a taste of their own medicine.""

You merely rolled your eyes at his cheeky statement, pinching his nose before tucking your head under his chin, shuffling closer towards him.

"Let's just sleep already, you tease." were your last words for the night before closing your eyes, the beating of his heart like a lullaby for your ears.

"Good night, Y/N." he said in a quiet voice as he let his lips linger on the crown of your head before closing his eyes as well, the warmth of your body guaranteeing him he'd have the best sleep as always with you in his arms.

********

you still dont know what posessed him that night for behaving like that 😩

U even went to Jouno and asked him about it, no eyes boy was just like "? maybe that was a fake LOL" u shouldnt have asked that h*e 🙂🙂🙂 jk we love him

now you'd be wary of "pranking" ur bf, maybe he'd prank u back again but worse.... yet you'd quickly forget about all of that bc he'd shower u with kisses whenever you'd ask him about it

even he can be sneaky but we forgive him bc hes cute ok 🛐

#bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #tecchou x reader #ranpo x reader #fukuzawa x reader #bsd edogawa rampo #bsd fukuzawa #bsd tecchou

[pastelpousay]

Disney Villans reaction to reader calling them little omega 💀

A/N:just so we’re all clear..this shit is clearly a joke I just thought this was funny all of this is a joke even the warnings

Warnings: fluff, some cursing..(sorry pook I’m a bit of a sailor)mentions of tough alpha zaddy, mentions of super submissive omega uwu senpapi

Jafar:

Was like actually shocked…

What tf did you just say??

“Excuse me..??”

Little Omega

Bitch wtf

Then when you repeat yourself…

He’s bewildered

“I know for a fact you didn’t just call me that”

HE DOESNT EVEN KNOW WHAT THE HELL OMEGA MEANS

Im pretty sure once he does find out what that means

He’s never gonna look at you the same again

Especially with the given context and the voice you said it in

He just sort of side eyes you now

Okay but on a real note is actually wondering what the hell is wrong with you…

“It’s okay little omega” bitch what????

He just stands there in shock, trying not to cringe

Is still wondering what’s wrong with you

That was so random and it came out of no where he knows your joking and all but like…

That was unnecessary and unneeded 😐

And if you ever call him that in public….

He’s currently fighting the urge to actually kill you

What tf is wrong with you

He doesn’t want anyone getting the wrong idea about either on of you

So don’t call him that in public…or at all actually 😃

Like he knows your joking but also…be normal

“My dear…do you have to joke around like this?? It’s a bit odd my love..”

“It’s okay if you can’t handle these big alpha jokes little omega, you’ll get used to them soon”

“In what world are you the quote on quote “alpha””

“This one”

Every time you call him that be prepared to have a full blown conversation about who would be the alpha

And jafar is dead set on taking that alpha spot 💀

Hades(my man 😍):

He just gave you this super unamused look

He gets the joke, and the reference but he’s actually done with you….

How he gets the reference we’ll never know 🤷🏾‍♀️

Sometimes if he’s feeling playful he’ll play along but that’s in private…..but never do this bs in public

Or infront of pain and panic

He’d actually just end all three of you right then and there

“Hey little omega how was work??”

“…….okay you need to stop, babe..it’s getting out of hand”

“What’re you talking about, are you forgetting I’m the alpha wolf here little one???”

“….—_— get away from me..”

No but like he’s actually done with you

Why

he gets the joke but like….

Like I said before he does play along with you so remember if he gets on your ass about it remember to take note of what he says when he does play along

“Hey there my little omaga…how are you today”

“Good my big strong alpha wolf”

“…….screenshotted!!-“

“Wait what…wtf is a screenshot??”

IM THE ALPHA IM THE LEADER IM THE ONE TO TRUST

And also just like jafar, he likes to fight over which role he is

“I told you before little pup, you aren’t ready to be an alpha”

“Do I look little to you….”

yea, he also sometimes does genuinely wonder if you’re joking are not..

How would he know he’s not a mind reader

It’s like a 30-40 % chance…

He often just brushes the topic aside

I mean it’s weird yes but it’s not like he’ll love you any less

Pain and panic have definitely overheard some of those conversations

Don’t tell hades 💗

Gaston:

His reaction to that information:

No like literally he would make this exact face 💀

He didn’t get the reference or that it was even a joke in the first place

What does ‘omega’ even mean???

I’m pretty sure he’d be the only one to never question you about it and just rolling with it for the hell of it 😭😭💀

He secretly wonders if your joking or not

He sure is hoping so..

He won’t play along with you either he’ll just kinda look at you funny

Or he’ll roll his eyes and or chuckle a bit

Not even knowing what that even is

He secretly questions why he likes you

What drove him to like Such a…

Freak…

Lightheartedly of course 😙

He will still question if there’s something wrong with you

He just now registered that it’s a joke but like

Why can’t you be normal…

What was the reason???

He doesn’t understand it

No matter how many times you explain he’s still confused

Your only allowed to do this in public because he doesn’t understand what an ‘omega’ is

Once he does….

Ngl his goofy ass would probably be shellschocked 💀💀 not even upset about it 💀😭

But like…he’s still salty about it

And if you guys ever have a disagreement he’ll definitely bring that up

Like it’s fucking blackmail 😭💀

“I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT THE HELL THAT IS!!”

“…that’s why I’m the alpha bitch 🐺🤫🧏‍♂️”

Meanwhile he doesn’t even know what blackmail means probably 💀

He’s so fucking goofy bro- i love him sm

Dr. Failicer

I’m gonna be dead honest….

He knew you had to have been joking…there’s no way you just said that and now have the audacity to laugh about it in his face

“….your ass better be joking…”

He said that in more of a warning tone if anything

Like he’d loose his mind if you were actually being serious

Now that he knows you aren’t(for sure)

He can somewhat live in peace (not really)

Still thinks your a mega freak

Lowkey uses this shit as blackmail

He always gives you that look after you say some shit like that

Like it’s either that 100 yard stare or the “Ik you didn’t” ahh look

“Hello baby, my little omega-“

“Tf is wrong with you-“

He gets used to ur bullshit after a while but like and starts to laugh with you about it

But still don’t do this shit in public with him

There will be an argument about it

Everytime you do it now he just smiles and rolls his eyes choosing not respond with to you bs

“Pookie butt omega…why’re ignoring me 🥺🥺🥺”

“…chér…..just……be normal for once please”

Bro is begging 💀

Don’t get me wrong he thinks it’s funny and all but still 😭😭😭

Your lucky he loves you enough to deal with this type of buffoonery

Hook (ft jake and the neverland pirates cuz jake is his son 🤫🧏‍♂️)

Definitely had to do a double take….

The only thing he got out of that was ‘little’

But still wtf💀

“……what’re you on about dear….”he says pinching in between his brows

He doesn’t even know what that means

Nor will he get the reference

Probably ever

And even then he’s still done with you and your bs

Don’t get caught doing this shit when Peter is around either

Or his crew for that matter

If you do it in front of Mr. Smee they’ll be giving each other that look💀💀

“Are they okay??”

“I think the barnacles are starting to get to them”

💀💀💀

Ngl this shit would probably spread to jake so quick it’s not even funny💀💀

“You don’t get it dad your not an alpha wolf like the rest of us 💪🐺” 💀💀💀

By this point he’d actually just turn a blind eye to it

He’s so done with you

First Mr. smee now jake??

Wow

Might as well the rest of the crew huh??

The only person that knows what an alpha is is probably jake and that’s cause you taught him 💀💀

He gets that your joking and all (now at least)

After a while it’s probably just be such a normal occurrence to the point he just gives up

“Hey little omaga, how are you??”

“Good my…..alpha-“ he shudders at the thought of even calling you that but I digress

Still don’t do this infront of the crew 💀💀

You already got jake in on it he doesn’t need his crew knowing about what a freak you are….but hey he loves that freak right?? 😭😭

Just kidding your not a freak

Just a bit of a weirdo

And talking with you definitely doesn’t get old

Frollo (haven’t watched this movie in a while so forgive me if this isn’t accurate)

Your ass is getting crucified idk what to tell you 🧍🏾‍♀️

Jk(not really)

He’d definitely be baffled

He give you this disgusted look then shake his head before walking away

He needs at least an hour long break from you after that 😭💀

He never would have thought you would’ve done something like this

But whatever

He didn’t register it was a joke but while he’s taking his break from you he’d probably figure it out

He still thinks it’s a really weird joke

It doesn’t even make sense😭

He questions you about it later

In the end he still doesn’t get the point of the joke

“How is that funny in any way shape or form”

“It just is”

“It just isn’t”

“But it is”

“But it’s not”

“Shut the fuck up little omega daddy’s always right🤫🧏‍♂️”

Que frollo fainting

You two will usually go back and forth about this topic

After a while he won’t even care to argue about it anymore it just becomes a borderline normal occurrence

Key word borderline

He still thinks it mega weird no matter whether it’s a joke or not

It’s exasperating for him at this point

“Why must you you be this way?”

“It’s funny to see you upset 🥳”

Another one of villans whos done with you shit

Everytime you do it it gives him a migraine

But hey it’s worth it to keep his love entertained right?? 😭

Maleficent

Her actual reaction not even kidding

What’s wrong with you man??

She just looked at you

It wasn’t even worth it to her to respond 💀

Your lucky she didn’t turn you into a rat after that 💀💀

She knows you were joking

The joke just didn’t land

“…….omega…….?? I’m the omega here???”

“…….sorry pookie🧎”

She soon realizes she made a mistake by not checking you behavior

Because you kept at it

Now the only response you get is her face scrunching up in disgust

It’s so funny bro 😭😭

“How’s my little omega kitten today, mally??”

“…….I should have turned you into a salamander when I had the chance 🤦‍♀️”

There’s not really much else

There’s not really anyone else around that can catch you doing it

But if they were to shed actually just kill you both 💀💀

She’s sick of you to say the least

She knows you joking why can’t you be normal or quiet at least

Definitely questioning why she hasn’t killed you yet or why she loves you for that matters

When you do this you might doubt if she does at all but her not turning you into the rat you are should be proof enough 🥳🥳

I would have added the others but I got hella lazy and I had already spent over a week on this so enjoy little omegas of the world 🥳🥳🥳 I might add more later but who knows

I’m never writing again /j

#disney villans x reader #disney hades x reader #gaston x reader #hades x reader #x reader fic #captain hook x reader #jafar x reader #x reader #frollo x reader #disney hades #maleficent #maleficent x reader #disney jafar #claude frollo #disney gaston #idk what else to put #maleficent is the alpha #I would add more but I got lazy #tags lookin hella empty goddamn 💀

[jazeswhbhaven]

Just Another Day in Hades...(Requiem of the Survivors Event React III)

Henlo again, third post time! Make sure you check out the previous parts before continuing! ->Part 1 -> ->Part 2->

Good to go? Let's finish this~

So we're back and this is final part to my react post!! It's mostly the damn image limit that kills me. Let me have 50 images per post ugh. Anywayssss

WOMP I spelt his name wrong in another post like all the way wrong. It's bad enough Orias couldn't even remember his name lmao

I'm crying because level with me... I read his name because of the typo as "Zaddy" instead of Zadkie Sure. I mean I'll call him Zaddy ᕕ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )ᕗ (btw this is a different way of calling someone "Daddy" during sex) Now you know your admin was being horny for another angel again. I am never leaving the streets at this point and Dre has his eyes on me ready to have some words. m o v i n g o n n nn

So Orias is hyping up the angel trying to get him ready for when leviathan gets over to him. they see him from afar and have their little talk, and Zadkiel is nervous asf (as he should be) but Orias is like "you're fine :D" all while he's over there slobbering over Levi's soul again.

See. Look at him. Just confident. Also this part I'm just gonna hurry up and paraphrase so "Levi" walks up to Orias and the angel and after the two of them stare at each other BAM Orias tells the angels to attack "Levi" immediately.

Looks like they got him right???

W R O N G

After Orias ripped through "Levi's" chest and ate the orb, it didn't taste at all what he expected, and...it had the opposite affect of what he thought it would too.

Won't you look at that, Orias wasn't the only one who fucking came in with a failsafe key sort of speak. SO remember back when I said Zadkiel was staring at Levi??? Well he knew who it was because it wasn't really Levi at all but an old colleague of his named Ose that was disguised by the real Levi who only half trusted Orias's note. And as I suspected, Levi was too smart for that and if we remember that he and orias are the ones that can lie. so both parties threw everyone for a loop.

Leviathan played his cards right and he won. Foras witnessed such a thing before his eyes knowing he was probs gonna win anyway lol

And omfg how cheeky, Levi also just wanted to know what would happen if Orias swallowed the soul omg. Lol this is wild. So in short honestly, Zadkiel gave up, seems that he was under Gabriel since he said his name as his last words and the Leviathan monster pretty much swallowed everyone up. It nearly goes for Orias but Levi stops it.

Yes, even after all this bullshit, Levi sticks to his original promise that he wasn't going to do anything to Orias. In fact, he even has the monster spit out a few souls for Orias to eat.

Now see here, this whole "omg being over 21 means your so old now wow" joke is tiring because no one in their 20s looks like Orias who I assume looks like a wrinkled fucking peach under there and his hair is kinda greyed out too? which I mean I've heard of that happening but come on. lol

otherwise though it comes to a conclusion that Orias was pissed off that he was tricked even though he's the one that tricked Levi in the first place

I can't either Foras. I really can't. Orias needs the timeout chair if he's gonna act like this because omg it's almost like Levi is gentle parenting him so he can act better but I mean technically none of this is a good example of gentle parenting lol But also, Orias has a new noose on his neck and if I'm reading the room correctly, I think Levi intends on using it in it future because of how he says "your life belongs to me" and that it's not like the old one.

Orias is on a tight leash now, Levi's promise still hasn't changed, and our nobles learned more about him and us too.

CONCLUSION So for this event I give it a 9/10. One point off because Orias is being a little brat which kinda came off to me as in his big age, he was still acting like a child. Like yes, give him some grace because he was at that farm with Levi and had horrible stuff done to him and especially one that causes aging to where he may even die in another year or so and he's addicted to angel souls now and it makes him want more and more. I'm pretty sure I'm forgetting to highlight something...but I'mma be honest I'm running off fumes and I haven't slept at all SO if I do remember I'll just edit it in here. But but I hope you all enjoyed the heavy lore again, I really appreciate this that they're doing for the story because it's starting to kind of align with the main story kindish? And we get to see glimpses of how the devils are without MC around so I'm getting my piece of slice of life demon pie.

NOW though with the event done. I'm sure the next one crossing my fingers will be a Lucifer-centered one. maybe. Because they have told us before chapter updates would be every three months or so so that's a lot of waiting that I'm glad for because that means more time to beef up cards, unlock holy board stories, farm for materials. The best time for a f2p peep. btw these advanced candies are gonna fucking be the end of me, it's almost like I need to ONLY nab those during events because they get you at the end with those.

As always appreciate you all for reading my stuff, after I sleep today I'll get back to work on those requests again T^T byeee~ -your lovely admin ♥( ˆ⌣ ˆԅ)

#whb #what in hell is bad #whb leviathan #whb hades bois 💜 #whb spoilers #whb event #whb orias #there was a lot of lore in here #team no sleep tho #zaddy come to me #lmao

[dreamonminecraft]

I mean, George’s been showing an attraction for men (fictional and real) for ages, not just Dream. Those thirst traps he used to watch.. his fascination (not just jokes) with dicks over the years. Also he went from being very awkward/careful about any gay mention (remember how upset he got over the ’bottom’ comment?) to fully embracing that now. He even got upset when the sidemen thought he would be bad at head like? For me, in the past two years, he (seemed to at least) fully accept himself. That obviously doesn’t mean you’re ready to be out about it. But going out to gay clubs with Larray, being in their ’twink’ tiktok thing they did and all other moments.. they bonded over *something* surely. So yeah, I was shocked about this whole thing, not gonna lie. It’s the first time ever we’ve heard about him in connection with women, in a non-platonic way. Like remember when he went on that girl trip with the Botez sisters in 2022? Just him and the girls and them talking about that ’Zaddy’ waitress or whatever it was 😂 And all the moments of him seeming uncomfortable about talking of girlfriends and boobs and yeah, I don’t know. He’s always been just gay in my eyes (based on the things he’s done/said and not stereotypes or looks just to be clear.) Or even about just dnf either. Like take Dream out of the equation and I would still think that. Now sexuality can be fluid of course. Maybe he realised he could feel something for women too? Maybe it was an exception to the rule? Or maybe, he experimented a bit and what do we know what he really felt about it? People try things sometimes, for many different reasons. Maybe he had a little crisis or something. Maybe he was heartbroken over Dream flirting with someone else in the same room like? Or maybe he is bi/pan ( not trying to deny the possibility, I’m bi myself so.) But yeah, just my opinion, not some actual truth here ofc ❤️

I think that's a really fair assessment. From what we knew of his private life (up until a few weeks ago) he was attracted to men (real and fictional) and never shared details of any prior real life experiences with anybody (women or otherwise - first kiss, past partners, etc)

He's fine with the perception that people have of him being gay (obviously it doesn't hurt his career. not saying he's queer baiting) but Dream was very 'im straight. I kiss girls. I date girls' before he knew he wasn't straight, and when he started to realize that he wasn't, he still acknowledged that he liked girls while recognizing his changing feelings. George is just very private in general.

There's a clip from one of the very first dsmp streams where Dream calls George gay "he's like that one closeted friend who doesn't say I love you because he doesn't want to out himself" (my least favorite Dream joke ever, thanks) and you know how he justifies it to the (rightfully) uncomfortable chat? "I wouldn't say that if I wasn't 100% sure George was straight."

George's response: "Straight outta Compton"

I mean this guy has been actively denying any sort of public labeling of his sexuality by anyone for almost four years. Maybe he's in the same position as Dream and he just doesn't want a label (doesn't know/doesn't like the pressure/whatever) or maybe the public perception is something that he doesn't want. Whatever he is, I think it's pretty clear he's some sort of queer.

#i do feel a little weird being so thrown off by him (maybe) not being gay #like it feels. biphobic #im bi. #i don't care if he's bi or pan or whatever it's just fucking with my head #asks

[shortpplfedup]

Only Friends Character Rankings Episode 8

Well this was a whole-ass SITUATION. I'm still processing, but another outstanding ep. The twin scents of audacity and desperation hung over this episode. Sand tries and fails to have any kind of backbone with Ray. Boston sits in purgatory and decides nope, hell it is. Cheum learns more valuable lessons about perhaps minding her own business. Nick might be moving on to Zaddy!Papang. Mew spirals. Yo and Plug break up. And Top...maybe set Ray up to get arrested so he could look like a hero? Everybody had the goddamn audacity this episode. Y'all went up for Mew's crazy eyes last week, let's see where the gworls are landing for me this week.

⭐1. Atom

People with self-confidence like you are very charming to me.

OH SIR! Talk about coming in hot! Atom's in an experimental mood and looking for somebody to blow his back out, so of course he thinks of Boston, and he's putting out whatever sauce he can muster to entice him. I gotta say, this is a wrinkle I ABSOLUTELY did not see coming but the mess is MESSING and I'm fully on board. Cheum is gonna LOSE IT.

🔺2. Boston (3)

Alright. I’m a social leper.

Well he didn't do a lot this week but boy did he make it count: his bitchface at Nick, who it seems he might have really started to care about; poking at Top's soft spots; telling Cheum maybe she should mind her own business; and just talkin' gay shit with Atom who is VERY into gay shit right now it would seem...every second Boston was onscreen was a second of perfection. ESPECIALLY the second when he decides to make yet another terrible decision and take Atom home and maybe give him what he's been sniffing around asking for. I mean, has learned not ONE goddamn thing and I LOVE that about him.

🔻3. Mew (2)

You take no space in my mind at all.

I haven't seen a classic post-breakup slut spiral this well executed in FOREVER. When Mew did the line of coke I gasped, and when he shoved his tongue down Ray's throat right in Top's face I SCREAMED. Oh honey, you're SUCH a cliché and I love you for it. Mew does not feel an ounce of anything resembling love or attraction for Ray, and he knows it, and he also knows the thought of him and Ray will keep Top up at night, so cigs, booze, yeyo and tonsil hockey it is.

⭐4. Daddy Dan

If you have a friend who likes old people, introduce us.

Papang has arrived, and he's playing the kind of guy who asks college students he's hiring to hook him up with their friends so...that's all present and correct. They love to cast Papang as charming but also slightly seedy and creepy and I'm very into it. Also, in my country there is a strip club/brothel called Dad's Dan so I cackled for a solid 5 minutes at the previews.

⭐5. Freddie Mercury The Second

I want no business with someone else’s boyfriend.

The only person this episode to exhibit even an ounce of self-respect. I salute you sir.

🔻6. Nick (4)

What should I do to earn your forgiveness?

Nick's licking his wounds and trying to get back in the game with Boston, but Nick having never met a boundary he couldn't trample has pretty much sealed that deal for now. As Sand pointed out to him: what was he even doing at that party, other than making a fool of himself?

🔻7. Top (6)

Are you really picking Ray?

Ok so Top's the one who called the cops right? Because they knew exactly who and what they were looking for, and his #1 priority was getting Mew out of Ray's orbit and back into his. Top's beggin' tour wasn't working on anybody except Cheum (who...girl. GIRL!), but he still managed to end the night in bed with Mew, so I guess he'll count that as a win?

🔹8. Cheum (8)

They're all selfish. They don't care about me.

GIRL. Your girlfriend keeps telling you to LEAVE THESE BOYS ALONE AND MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. Now you crying on the couch and don't nobody care except your girlfriend, WHO TOLD YOU. All them boys one by one just telling her to get out of their faces...GIRL YOU ARE A LESBIAN YOU ARE ABOVE BOYS MAKING YOU CRY.

🔻9. April (7)

I know you’re worried about Mew. But he’s a grown man. He can take care of his life.

Girl aren't you tired? That woman don't never listen to you and now instead of having a good time you're feeling her snot seep into your chest through your (slay) outfit and thinking about how you're not getting any sex tonight either. SHE DOESN'T EVEN APPRECIATE YOUR ART.

🔻10. Plug/Yo (5)

There were many people I gave all my heart to. I gave them everything I got. There were many people I gave my room key to. They all returned it to me in the end. I don't want you to raise my expectations. And then you leave me too.

Oof, poor baby Plug. He just wants to live that househusband life but Yo been THRU it and ain't interested in going thru it again. I was surprisingly affected by Mom breaking up with Cool Stepdad, given how little screentime they've had, but Jennie's just that good.

🔻11. Sand (5)

Friends? You and I have never been friends from the get-go.

What more can I say about this loser? He's so embarrassing I can hardly look at him. Ray does not give a good goddamn about him, he uses him as a plaything, a servant or a punching bag as it suits him, and instead of throwing rocks at his ass and telling him to GTFO, he FIGHTS THE DAMN COPS who are trying to take him away. It's almost fascinating, watching this bullshit: every time I think this is surely Sand's rock bottom, he goes lower. We've got 4 episodes left but I'm calling it now: Sand is the most pathetic character on this show.

🔻12. Ray (1)

Let's hire a DJ instead this time. I don't want a band anymore.

OH MY GOD FLAMES ON THE SIDE OF MY FACE. Does Thailand do 5150s? Because Ray needs to be committed as a danger to himself and others. He got everything he wanted and IT'S NOT ENOUGH, just as we all (I hope) knew it wouldn't be. And then on top of that Mew refuses his kiss in private but lays one on him in Top's face and it's like he just lost it. That ugly scene, breaking up Sand's encounter with Freddie II (shades of him doing the same with Sand's date earlier in the season), claiming ownership of him (told y'all) forcing a kiss on him because Sand's his property right? Ray was downright nasty this week, and not in an enjoyable way.

#only friends the series #bless this mess #only friends weekly character rankings #i support gay wrongs #only friends #only friends series #bl meta series

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

GENTLEBEARD BTS BOYFRIENDS SCENE SYNTHESIS

none of these takes ended up in the show which means i get pick and choose my favorite bits from each one and make my ideal boyfriends scene and nobody can tell me it didn’t happen. it is canon to me

so anyway our three scenes are as follows:

BOYFRIENDS TAKE 1 (the og)

STEDE: Let's live, if possible. I mean, I just got back together with my boyfriend! Oh, can I say that? ED: I actually fuckin’ love it. STEDE: Yes! *clears throat* Anyway, um. ED: *clearly you don’t own an air fryer smirk*

BOYFRIENDS TAKE 2 (this is actually the second take in this video but my gut tells me this was the first time Taika dropped Zaddy while they were filming this scene)

STEDE: Let's live, if possible. I mean, I just got back together with my boyfriend! Oh do you mind if I call you...? ED: *dramatic hair flip, hair gets stuck in beard* I love it... Zaddy. STEDE: *confused* Zaddy???? *pause* Anywho!

BOYFRIENDS TAKE 3 (1st one in this video)

STEDE: I've had my fill of courting death for one day. Let's live, if possible. I mean, I just got back together with my boyfriend! Oh do you mind if I call you...? ED: *successful dramatic hair flip* Not at all, Zaddy. STEDE: *surprised, horny* Whew! Yeah, I mean, I'm fairly sure we're not the only ones who want to live forever! CREW: *mumbles noncommittally*

tbh it was incredibly difficult to choose btwn stede’s surprised and horny response and his “um, anywho…” confused cringe adult man voice. ultimately i went with anywho for reasons i can explain if u want but i don’t care enough to type out rn. if u prefer the horny take then it can be canon in ur heart if u want i’m not the boss of u. anyway without further ado:

BOYFRIENDS TAKE 4 (jenkins jess ourflagmeansgayrights cut)

STEDE: I've had my fill of courting death for one day. Let's live, if possible. I mean, I just got back together with my boyfriend! Oh do you mind if I call you...? ED: *successful dramatic hair flip* I love it... Zaddy. STEDE: *confused* Zaddy???? *pause* Anywho! ED: *clearly you don’t own an air fryer smirk*

anyway thank you for coming to my TEDx talk (the x stands for x rated thank u goodnight)

#i am being serious when i say goodnight i’m abt to pass out now byeeeee #ofmd #our flag means death #gentlebeard #blackbonnet #edward teach #stede bonnet #ed teach #edward teach born on a beach #stede fucking bonnet #ofmd bts #s2e08 #bts #txt #link #mine #og #taika waititi #rhys darby

[houseofbrat]

Still so William let his cancer stricken wife being trolled online for the mother day pictures as well have her carry bags during at the farmers market. William sigh

That's the worst part. She had cancer all along and William was like "all right under the bus you go Cathy!"

Meanwhile the stans are calling him a hot zaddy and lusting after him.

Granted we are on Reddit so I guess the bare minimum is expected for men.

They have an entire press office and people that they pay to be their mouthpiece to the public.  Why the hell didn’t they just hand all of this off to them to have a plan to roll out to the public?  How did this go so badly?

Honestly, I'd love to know the whole story. Just to be clear, I mean the whole story of the PR fiasco, not Kate's specific medical problems.

This might be an incredibly unpopular opinion, not sure, but I really disagree with everyone saying oh she shouldn't have had to tell us about her cancer, she should have full privacy, etc. I agree with those thoughts for celebrities and influencers, but for people supposed to lead a country and whose lives are being fully funded by taxpayers, I do think they owe a duty of transparency around their health. I'm in the U.S. and we've all seen outrage because Biden's defense secretary kept cancer a secret for like a day, because Trump refused to release his physical results, I could go on.

I think it’s a really hard judgement to make because royalty is such a unique role, and there really isn’t much to compare it to.  Not to mention that there are 2 separate questions: what was she obligated to announce and what should they have expected as far as levels of curiosity about a high profile public figure.  I do think that there would have been strategies that they could have used to better preserve privacy in the face of public curiosity.

I agree. I tend to think royalty doesn't get to be totally private about major life events but that doesn't mean they don't deserve ANY privacy. I just feel like the outraged comments about how sad it is she was forced to tell people because of their evil speculating ways are going too far in the other direction.

I don't think she necessarily has to share a diagnosis, but expecting that she could disappear entirely from public view and no-one would ask any questions is ridiculous. They had at least two months to come up with any plan besides complete silence.

I never wanted them to discuss her medical issues but transparency would have helped. Don't treat people like idiots. They mishandled this, and there were a million ways to keep things private but not have things turn into a cluster. Prayers for Catherine.

in terms of prognosis...

"preventive" chemotherapy is a positive sign here

the fact that the surgeon did not recognize he was looking at a cancer tumor in the OR is a positive sign here

the fact that it required a complex biopsy (it took 5 weeks) for the pathology to find the cancer is a positive sign.

Having been through this recently with a spouse, what you’re saying sounds correct to me too.  She would have had the best of diagnostic tools, so that would have ruled out large masses.  The language also indicates that what they found was small.

whoever ran the PR definitely did it poorly. Part of the reason the mother's day photo blew into a bigger news event was all the major news agencies put out a kill notice on it. and they only did that because Kensington palace declined to share the unedited one when asked.

Chetwynd said news agencies asked Kensington Palace to provide the original photo, but they did not receive a reply. That’s when they decided to issue “kill notices,” something that is very rarely done.

but they didn’t stick to the timeline.. they decided to reveal a doctored image and then make Kate take the fall for it. even if she did edit the picture on her own just for fun, they didn’t have to put it on her alone? the whole thing was so odd.

They could have skipped the fake photo release. They could have reacted to the swell of interest by putting out a statement that there have been developments and they will communicate when they are ready. To pretend nothing happened since the Jan announcement is disingenuous and PR is about real time handling

#my gif #reddit #british royal family #PR fail #kate middleton #Catherine The Princess of Wales #kensington palace #palace officials #MESS! #William The Prince of OWN GOALS #William The Weak #William The Terrible #William The Prince of Wales #prince william

[piningintrovert]

2023: A Year in Review

Thank you for the tag @wanderlust-in-my-soul and @25shadesoffebruary; I'm always down for a trip down memory lane

Rules: Link your favorite and most popular post(s) of each month of the year and tag some CCs friends

January

Most popular: Payu and Rain make up, Love in the Air Special Episode (understandable lol just like with everything else, they were insane for this) Favorite: Yeo Jung becoming Dong Eun's executioner, The Glory (full black and white set, my beloved AND this monologue is just so *gestures wildly*) Honorable mention: Tinn asking Sound to help Chinzilla, My School President (had a lot fun playing the text and emoji animations; it took forever and a day but it was worth it)

February

Most popular: The Complete BL Sass™ Collection (finally gave the people what they wanted lol) Favorite: Masumi finding out the world is going to end, The End of the World With You (one word: ACTING)

March

Most popular: You're my man; don't call yourself a pebble, My Beautiful Man 2 Favorite: (same as above)

April

Most popular: Payu touching Rain's lips, Love in the Air (deleted scene) Favorite: Kiyoi just wanted Hira to feed him, My Beautiful Man 2 (shameless plug for my "don't mind me" collection)

May

Most popular: Why do you like me?, Be My Favorite Tralier Favorite: Deleted scene from Payu & Rain's first time, Love in the Air (I still maintain that it was a CRIME to cut that scene out)

June

Most popular: Bad Buddy meta; Ink and Wai are the only ones who know about Pat and Pran's relationship as shown with their outfits Favorite: Tongfah and Paper's first kiss, Second Chance (the blue in this scene speaks to me)

July

Most popular: Payu and Rain attending Sky and Prapai's wedding, Wedding Plan (I would like to know when we're getting the special episode of WP where Nuea plans Payu and Rain's wedding) Favorite: Domestic Kazuma and Ren, Tokyo in April is...

August

Most popular: Henry, the world-class insomniac, Red, White & Royal Blue Favorite: Prince Henry "You're in his DMs" tweet (this was the first time I made an edit like this and I love how it came out)

September, October & November

I went offline for a bit so nothing for these months

December

Most popular: Smol Rain next to Big Zaddy Payu, Love in the Air (first set after my three month hiatus; way to come back with a bang) Favorite: Welcome to Smirk City, Pit Babe (the first gif... need I say more?)

It's always nice to look back on the year like this because I sometimes feel like I don't contribute enough to the fandom (dw I'm actively trying to change that mindset ^-^), and something like this really helps puts things into perspective for me. Even with a three-month hiatus, I created quite a bit of content—content that I'm proud of :)

Tagging @raypakorn @musicdramalove @snimeat @forcebook @spicyvampire @aejeonghae @maxescheibechlinichacheli @dengswei; feel free to ignore~

#tag game #love in the air #the glory #my school president #the end of the world with you #my beautiful man #be my favorite #bad buddy #second chance #wedding plan #pit babe #raemakes

[ravenbloodshot]

Hyunjin- Stray Kids...Insecurities vs. Confidences Reading

Insecurities

He may fear appearing stupid or childish in front large crowds of people. (I'm seeing some public speaking anxieties, quite an debilitating fear for a celebrity). I'm also seeing like a fear of seeming incompetent especially in front of prominent ppl(rich folks) or even girls that he's interested in. He could be insecure about not appearing manly, not having a masculine enough aura. This could especially bother him when it comes to people calling him pretty, referring to him as a pretty boy when he wants to be seen as a sexy zaddy type of man

A lot of his insecurities stem from how to act with the opposite sex and dealing with women romantically. He may want to act like the kdrama male lead but fears that she'll only see him as second lead material. He fears his romantic abilities just in general, like insecure about if he's good at kissing, touching, flirting etc....

Yeah guys. He has a big public speaking fear/anxiety, he may even become tongue tied a lot and would become very angry with himself if he stumbles over his words if he was giving like an award speech. He can be very insecure about the way he talks, his grammar and always worries about if he's saying the right thing or not.

He can be very self conscious in social settings. I can see him being very shy and hesitant interacting with seonbaenims (reminds me of when years ago Stray Kids met up with got7 members Jay b + Jinyoung and how shy and low key scared Hyunjin looked). In settings where he's working with more established ppl in the industry he can begin to question how worthy he is to be working with them

Confidences

He's confident in his ability to flirt and make fangirls falk for him (quite interesting how insecure he is about getting girls he likes to like him but becomes the most confident man in the world when attracting fangirls). It's like he knows that fangirls would give their last just to get his attention and he's confident in gaining that attention/love. He knows he has what it takes to be attractive as an idol (he may low-key think stays are easy to please)

He's confident about taking of others especially children or just people younger than him. He knows how to be sweet and compassionate so he's sure of himself in situations where he has to play caretaker/healer. (Pisces vibes, giving captain save a hoe vibes).

He could be uncomfortable around people that are angry with him, ppl that don't like him. But he could become more confident when those people make up with him or just begin warming up to him (problem with this is he can be blind to a lot of fake love just because he rather not deal with the harsh reality that some people just don't like him and may wish bad on him).

He's confident in his power of persuasion, attracting people to him and being on his side. I do see he has a fighting spirit but he could just be more of a lover than a fighter. So, he plays nice with people to calm them down and get them to like him (like the saying 'you get more flies with honey than with vinegar' or however the saying goes)

I'm seeing that he could be pretty good at games. Playing video games, sports etc... he can becomes very competitive in that setting (he probably was pretty serious about events like ISAC, became very cocky and passionate).

#kpop readings #kpop #kpop tarot #stray kids #hyunjin #hyunjin stray kids #pisces sun #stray kids tarot

[honeeslust]

When you’re really down bad for Satoru Gojo

You’re alone, and your mind’s wandering in the clouds from the indica mixing with the alcohol.

You’ve just put on the jjk movie for the 70th time and your almost embarrassingly down bad for the snowy haired Zaddy. Every time they show his hands, All you can think about is his porcelien fingers around your throat whilst his heavy cock teases at your sweet slick pussy.

It’s the way he teases you making you come repeatedly with his mouth and/or fingers.You can feel yourself panting and crying and begging for him to finally fuck you. But he wants your desperation. He savors everything you give him when your a pathetic whimpering mess just how he likes you to be.

You lay there watching him fight, slipping your hands into your panties while you’re daydreaming about a 2d fictional character. But still!!

It’s the way you start to tease yourself, touching the way you imagine that he would. No matter what you did, you couldn’t stop feening for him.

You could just almost feel his massive hands all over your body. You can almost hear him calling you his slutty little sweet thing while you ride him. You can hear the way he would praise his pretty cum slut while he fucks you on top of his car. You can almost feel his hands on your thighs while he tells you how much he loves the way they fit around him. You smile to yourself, looking over at the tv and his pretty eyes keep staring back at you.

It’s the way you just knew that daddy would stroke you deep until you couldn’t fucking breath. Looking into his eyes whilst he made you come again. It feels so fucking good that you cry out for him to let your swollen pussy rest.

But Satoru only fucks you slower, staring into your eyes with his heavenly blue ones while he tells you, you can keep taking me baby girl, I can’t get enough of you, you’re so fucking sweet.

Fucck…. You can’t believe you ust did that. You actually made your self cum fantasizing about him.

You poor delulu bitch you say laughing to yourself and wrapping yourself up in you Gojo blankie.

#smut oneshot #smut writer #spicy headcanons #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen #jjk season 2 #satoru gojo #satoru gojo smut #gojo sensei

[13as07]

Spitting Image #2

(Ino Yamanaka)

[Artwork is not mine! Credit to shiino_9]

Requested by: Myself

Word Count: 3,738

Warnings and/or Pre-Notes:

Okay I want your thoughts. I’m thinking part three is all Gaara being zaddy and trying to reconnect with his baby mama. Then part four is moving to the Sand Village. Yay? Nay? Idk :)

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     "Just breathe, it's all going to be okay," Ino whispers in my ear, gently squeezing my shoulders as she leads me down the road.

     I repeat her words in my head, eyes set on Yoshiki who's curled up in my arms. His chubby hands are raised, trying to get a grip on one of the strands of my hair. He giggles to himself, the ends of my hair tickling his chubby cheeks. Lord, he's so chubby and round and adorable.

     "You are adorable, my love," I coo, peppering his cheeks in kisses.

     "You're hogging him," Inojin complains, his hands wrapping around my arm to tug on it.

     "Inojin," Sai says, his tone calm as he smiles softly at his son. "Maybe let Ne-San carry Yoshiki for a while."

     "She has been carrying Yoshiki though. I want to hold him!"

     "Inojin!" Ino snaps, gripping her son's ear as she lectures him.

     "Ino," I call, shifting Yoshiki to my hip before I tap her shoulder. "It's okay, if he wants to hold him it’s fine. It'll probably be good, give me a chance to wiggle my nerves out of my system." I bend down, handing my son over to Inojin. He's quite responsible for his age, and always careful while holding Yoshiki.

     My son's eyes light up when he realizes who's holding him. I swear, he's just as attached to Inojin as Inojin is to him. Yoshiki takes hold of his hair, gripping it and using it to move the older boy's head around. Ino's son gushes over my baby, cooing at him as he takes slow careful steps down the road.

     The sight is nice, even if we are heading to my doom. It's been about a week since I ran into Shikamaru's brother-in-law. Gaara's older brother. Yoshiki's Uncle.

     After Ino managed to talk me out of the bathroom, she showed me pictures of Temari's and Shikamaru's wedding; more specifically pictures of Gaara, who turns out was the man from the one-night stand. It took about a week, but Sai and her managed to talk me into letting Gaara meet Yoshiki and me. Meet me again, in a sober mindset, with the lights on, and my legs closed this time.

     "You look pale, Ne-San. Are you nervous Gaara is going to want rights to Yoshiki?" Sai asks, getting a smack upside his head from his wife.

     "What the hell, Sai? You can't say stuff like that!" Ino hisses, gripping his ear like she was doing to her son a minute ago. My eyes stay trailed on the boys as Ino rips into her husband, the noise of their fighting filling the background.

     My mind spins with a million different possibilities and 'what if's about this meeting, about things going forward, about how Gaara is going to react.

     "Okay, I want Yoshiki back," I mutter when the restaurant we're meeting at falls into view.

     "Ne-San!" He whines, clinging to my son more.

     "Please don't fight with me about this Inojin. I'll let you feed him at lunch," I try to bribe him, sliding my hands between his arms to wrap Yoshiki in my hold.

     "Really?! You mean it?"

     "I mean it," I echo, resting my son on my hip. Inojin tucks himself into my side, the one my kid is resting on as he continues to coo at him. My grip tightens as Yoshiki tries to throw himself at Inojin, calming my nervousness a bit again. The sight clams me a bit. It's adorable how much the boys love each other.

     "Shoo, go run ahead and say hi to Shinki or something," Ino complains, trying to wave her son ahead. Reluctantly he does as he's told, racing ahead and disappearing into the restaurant. "Alright Mamas, how are we feeling?" She asks me, gripping my shoulder again.

     "She's probably not doing too well. We're about two steps away from her life changing forever, hopefully for the better," Sai mumbles, doing his weird 'I'm trying to be comforting but I actually look creepy as hell' smile.

     "Sai!" Ino screeches again, ramping up her lecture.

     After a couple of minutes filled with their heated back and forth, I decided waiting in the restaurant would be better than listening to the Yamanaka screaming match. The restaurant atmosphere is quite calming, with dark soft reds, and gentle music playing in the background.

     Yoshiki's head swerves around, taking in all the soft lights and the colorful coverings of the lights. "You like the colors?" I ask him, shifting him up further so I can whisper in his ear. Giggles erupt from him, his small hands squishing my cheeks as he enjoys the lights.

     "Oh, you like that one, don't you?" I ask another unanswered question, walking towards the soft red-colored covering that has caught his eyes. I settle us underneath it. Watching Yosh watching the coloring. "Do you know what color that is? It's red, just like your hair," I tell him, twirling one of his strands around my fingertip. "Your hair is red, chief Akimich has red hair, and... and..."

     "And his dad's hair is red," a voice from behind me butts in. My nerves are on edge as I turn around. My grip tightens on my son as the man from the flower shop - Yoshiki's Uncle stands a couple of paces behind me. "Gaara has red hair," he reiterates as if it's something I don't know.

     "Ya, I know. It's why I was attracted to him," I mutter, scanning the entrance for Ino and then the restaurant for Inojin.

     Ino might not fall into my view but her son does. He's sat at one of the large tables in the restaurant, a group of about six people or so with him, making my heart flutter faster with anxiety. My eyes stay locked on the boy, hoping he'll notice me and bring some familiarity to this uncomfortable moment.

     "You got a thing for redheads, little lady?"

     "Don't call me that," I mutter, anger bubbled in my words. My nerves are rubbing off on Yoshiki who's starting to stir, his pre-cry whines falling from him.

     "Oh hush, love," I coddle him, covering his forehead in kisses. "You don't need to go and get upset just because mommy is. You're fine," I continue to coo, moving him around like a bird as I walk us around the restaurant, leaving his Uncle and some of my anxiety behind.

     Yosh giggles because of it, 'flying' like a bird being pretty high up in his list of favorite things. "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine," I hum to him, continuing our laps around the room as I wait for Ino to join us. "You make me happy when skies are grey. You'll never know dear how much I love you," I continue to sing to him, resting him against me again. "Please don't take my sunshine away," I finish off, littering his chubby cheeks in kisses.

     "Ne-San!" Inojin calls, leaning over the table he's at as he waves at me. "Come here! It's almost six o'clock, Yoshiki needs his bottle."

     I sigh softly at the boy's knowledge of my son's schedule. It's useful when I'm busy, but not useful at this moment. "You might not know how much I love you but you sure as heck will know how much big brother Inojin loves you," I tell my son, holding him in front of me so he can dangle. He doesn't do his newborn scrunch anymore, which makes me a bit sad.

     "What do you say we go over to Inojin? You want to see Inojin?" I ask him, getting happy babbles as a response.

     I cuddle him against me again, my heart slamming against my chest as I head towards the table. Yoshiki's Uncle has rejoined the table, his wife - presumably - is sitting next to him, in similar purple makeup as her husband. Shikamaru and Shikadai are sitting next to them, looking more like twins the longer I look at them. There's a blonde lady next to them, Yoshiki's opal-colored eyes staring at me from the lady's face. That must be Temari.

     The spitting image of my son is sitting next to the blonde girl, repeatedly blinking as he stares at me and my son, our son. A boy about Inojin's and Shikadai's age sitting silently next to him.

     Yoshiki is unfazed, his attention on trying to grip my hair again. Soon his hands fall from my hair to my mouth, trying to shove his hands into it. This is his new thing, like two days ago new thing. "Yosh," I coo, moving his hands away from my mouth. "We don't do that. No, we don't," I tell him, pressing kisses to his small hands.

     "You're hogging him! Ne-San! You promised I could feed him. Give me, give me, give me," Inojin whines, turning around in his seat and trying to take grip of my son.

     "Ya, ya, ya," I mumble, carefully placing Yoshiki into his arms. My eyes stay locked on my son, worried about this Gaara guy or anyone else at the table jumping at him while I dig for his bottle.

     "There you are, mamas!" Ino calls, jumping on me as she wraps her arms around my shoulders. "And look at that, Yosh is already back in Inojin's arms. I swear at this rate Ino is going to have a permanent imprint of Yoshiki on his arms," she teases, sending me a soft smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes. Ino's eyes are soft, a silent 'are you okay?' being sent by them.

     "Yoshiki? As in fortunate?" Gaara asks, his face scrunched up as he looks between me and my - our son. 

     "No, Yoshiki as in blessed. Like a blessing, since he's my blessing," I mutter the last half, tugging his bottle out of the diaper bag. Despite the fears and anxieties I've felt today, I managed to hold it together enough to prep for dinner. Pre-measured formula in his bottle so all I need is warm water.

     "Aw, that's cute!" Temari beams, sending a not-so-secret glare towards her brothers.

     "Oh, ya. Adorable," Purple-man echoes, getting kicked by his wife under the table.

     "Yes and no. It was my father's name," I mutter, setting Yosh's bottle on the table as I scan for a waitress.

     "Don't worry Ne-San! I already ordered some warm water for you, it should be out soon," Ino's son says, focusing still on making faces to entertain Yosh.

     "Thank you, Inojin," I praise, resting my hands on his shoulders before pecking his forehead. I lean down a bit further, kissing my son's head too before I slide into the seat next to the boys.

     Ino quickly sits down on the other side of the boys. Sai goes to sit next to me in the only spare chair, getting a pointed look from his wife.

     "How about we play musical chairs!" Temari cheers, locking eyes with Ino. Shikadai sends his mom a weird look, his father mimicking it as they stare at her together. "You stay right there... um... ma'am? You boys stay there too," Temari struggles out, ordering Inojin to stay still.

     "Temari - " The oldest brother starts, quickly getting cut off by his sister.

     "Get up Kankuro," she hisses, quickly standing to her feet, husband and son in tow.

     Everyone shuffles around, raising my anxiety even more. When everyone settles back down, seats have been changed completely. Inojin is still holding Yoshiki, then me, followed by Gaara, the kid who sat next to him earlier, Shikadai, his parents, the Kankuro man and his wife, with Ino, and Sai sat by their son to start the circle again.

     "So..." Shikamaru mumbles, breaking the silence and getting a warning glare from his wife. It's almost funny how much Temari and Ino seem to be. "Gaara and you have two kids, that's cool."

     "Two?" I ask, snapping my head towards the Nara chief.

     "Shikamaru!" Temari and Ino both yell, startling Yoshiki enough for wails and tears to spill from him. "Shut up," Temari hissed at her husband, pairing it with a smack to the back of his head. Well, that solved the mystery on the silent kid with red face paint. I assumed it was Kankuro's kid, I guess not.

     "We're going to step out for a moment," I murmur, snatching Yoshiki from Inojin's arms. "Do you mind making his bottle?" I ask the older boy, patting his head before quickly heading back out of the restaurant, crying baby in tow. By the time I get out the door, into the chilled air, tears are spilling from me too, mine being from stress instead of fear.

                        ———————————

     The door to the restaurant creaks open, upsetting Yoshiki more. The more upset he gets, the more upset I get, continuing the cycle of unchecked emotions. "Please calm down, love," I coo, rocking him in my arms again.

     "Would you like some help?" Ino asks, her tone gentle as an attempt to help calm me down.

     "No, I have it under control," I hiss out, causing Yosh to shriek again.

     "You've been out here for twenty minutes. That isn't 'having it under control'," Ino points out, shifting to stand in front of me.

     I have to turn my head up to look at her, courtesy of being sat on the ground, back to the wall. "Okay, maybe I don't have it under control. I'm freaking out. Gaara has a kid. A different kid! And our dinner went from the six of us to a party of twelve of us. What... what the hell? What the hell, Ino? I'm actually meeting Gaara, like for real, and his brother, and his sister-in-law, and his sister, and her family, and I can't calm down long enough to get Yoshiki to calm down, and what the hell?"

     "I know, I know. It's a lot to handle right now. There's a lot of people and it's a lot of new and a lot of stress, but this will be good, right?" She asks, falling to kneel on the ground in front of me. "Yoshiki will get to have a relationship with his dad, with his older brother, with his family. He'll get more family to love him, you'll get more family to love you."

     I lean forward, resting my head on Ino's shoulder. "I don't know. What if it doesn't work out? What if Gaara wants to take Yoshiki? What if he wants nothing to do with Yosh? Then what? 'Sorry kid, your dad was too established in the sand village to give a shit about us, but hey your mom tried her best'? What kind of life is that for my son?"

     Ino lets out a sigh, rubbing my shoulders to soothe me. "I don't think that's going to happen, and even if it does then fuck Gaara. If worst comes to worst, you two will still have us. You'll still have Sai, and Inojin, and me. We can be our own little family of five."

     I let out a sigh of my own, my stress still high and only climbing higher the more Yoshiki cries. "Alright mamas, you need to calm down. The more you freak out, the more he's going to freak out."

     "I know, I know. It doesn't help that he's hungry either," I mutter into her shoulder, my angry tears soaking into her shirt. "I just... I can't go back in yet."

"Okay, okay. I have an idea - that you can totally say no to. Remember, you're the mamas, your baby, your rules," Ino starts, rubbing my shoulders faster as she rests her cheek against my head. "I'll take Yoshiki inside and get him calmed down and fed. You can hang out here and get yourself put together before you join the table again, okay? Worse case you decide this isn't the right time or space to do this and we replan, okay mamas?"

"Ya... ya that's... probably for the better," I mutter, reluctantly letting her take Yoshiki from my arms. I don't like the thought of him being around Gaara without me, but I know if I don't take some space to calm down, I'm just going to keep winding Yosh up. Besides, my poor love is probably starving since his feeding time was about twenty-five minutes ago.

Ino takes him from me, pressing a kiss to my head before she leaves me alone outside the restaurant, giving me the time I need to calm myself down.

                        ———————————

     I brush my hands over my pants, dusting off the dust from the sidewalk. As I'm cleaning myself, the restaurant door creaks open. "I'm sorry," I mutter, shifting out of the way.

     "You are not in the way... -San," the young voice struggles with the last word, not sure what to call me.

     My eyes settle on the boy, the same one that I left sitting next to Gaara at the table. His eyes are a green color, not the same as his father’s or Yoshiki’s, a darker green. It reminds me of the forest. His face paint is red unlike his Uncle, and cups his eyes in a way that makes them stand out. It's weird how much my - our - son looks like Gaara and how little his older son looks like him.

     "Your kid screams a lot," the boy mutters, shifting around. His black cloak moves with him weirdly, like it's not made of cloth. "He's okay now though. Inojin is feeding him and that seemed to quiet him down."

     "Yoshiki is a little stressed and he's too young to be able to understand what he's feeling."

     "He can't even talk, what could he be stressed about?"

     "He's stressed because I'm stressed."

     The kid looks at me for a moment, head tilted and face scrunched as he sizes me up. "He looks a lot like my Papa."

     "Yes, he does."

     Silence falls between us, the boy slowly blinking as he stares at me. My eyes jump around the road, looking for something other than the child to look at. "Papa doesn't cry."

     "No?" I ask, internally screaming. What have I gotten myself into? What kind of man did I accidentally choose as the father of my child? What the hell is up with his kid?

     "No... he cried when Aunt Temari told him you agreed to meet him again, to let him meet..."

     "Yoshiki."

     "When you agreed to let us meet Yoshiki."

     "I'm sorry I made your dad cry," I murmur, glancing around the empty street again.

     "Uncle Kankuro calls you 'The Leaf Village Margarita Lady'."

"Ya?" I ask, shifting my weight around. The conversation is very uncomfortable and the need to check on Yoshiki is building with every passing second. I see my out when the restaurant door creams open again.

"Shinki?" The soothing voice that whispered sweet nothings into my ear sixteen months ago calls, making the kid's head turn. Shinki and Yoshiki, it has a nice ring to it. So much for my out though. "Hello," Gaara says, tone a bit panicked when his eyes settle on me.

His panic only grows as his eyes flicker between his son and myself. "My greatest apologies for anything Shinki might have said," Gaara rushes out, leaning forward and grabbing his son by the collar of his shirt tucked under the not normal cloak. "His social skills are a bit - "

"- like his father's?" I ask, cutting Gaara's sentence off.

"Yes," he mumbles, just a hint of pink dusting his cheeks. The sight makes my mind flicker to... the creation of Yoshiki. Gaara was all kinds of pink that night, it was a sight I enjoyed quite a bit. It was hot, a big shot Shinobi stumbling over his words and blushing because I was flirting with him, because I was doing a hell of a lot more than flirting. "I hope he didn't say anything insensitive."

"No, your kid has a good set of manners. Though, he did tell me your older brother calls me the margarita lady."

Gaara's flusteredness deeps, the color of his cheeks proving that and tugging a small smile to my face. "I am sorry for Kankuro too. I know your first meeting with him wasn't... up to par. I am sorry for the nickname as well."

"It's fine," I mutter, my eyes switching between Shinki and Gaara. Whoever his child's mother is must have some pretty strong genes to outweigh Gaara's. Stronger than mine, that's for sure.

     "Mamas!" Ino's voice rings out, the door slamming open as she pushes her way out. "Gosh at this rate we're all going to be out here."

     Ino and I both nervously laugh, only making Gaara pinker and his son even more unamused. "Might as well tell everyone we're eating out here now," I murmur, focus set on my friend. Her attention is set on me, eyes asking if I'm okay again. The answer is a big fat no but I don't voice it. "I should go check on Yoshiki," I announce, skirting past Gaara and squeezing through the door.

     I can sense Ino behind me even before she wraps her arms around my shoulders for the millionth time tonight. "Dear Lord, Mamas. Gaara looked like he wanted to eat you whole."

     "He did not!"

     "He did too," she giggles, using her hold on me to shake me around. "Look at you, having the Sand Hokage all flustered and blushing. Not to mention your kid is the spitting image of him. Not to put it out in the world and ruin it or anything, but I think Gaara is going to take care of you two."

     I know she means it in good light, but the thought terrifies me. All the 'what if's circling my head, the main one being 'what if Yoshiki and me end up trapped'? I don't know anything about this man, about his family, about his expectations, about his wants for himself, for Yoshiki, for me. He was supposed to be a one-night stand, a high and fly, not the father of my son.

     "Stop worrying, mamas. Everything will be alright," Ino whispers in my ear, gently squeezing my shoulders. When the sight of Yoshiki giggling in joy because his uncle is blowing raspberries into his cheeks falls into view, a small piece of me wants to believe her.

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#naruto shippuden #naruto shippuden oneshot #naruto shippuden x reader #ino oneshot #ino x reader #ino yamanaka oneshot #ino yamanaka x reader #ino yamanaka

[d-nessi]

A/N:

Oh boy that chapter is huuuge and took me 4 days. And as if this is not enought I need holy water after writing that filthy but cuuute fic. I lose control on some point, the reason it's so long. Sry but hope you like it❤️

WARNING: little bit of agression, being jealous, sickness,!! masturbation and smut is clearly marked!! Bella is a completely innocent potat and for me it was my first soft smut....hope it's not too trashy

Wordcount: 4k ...holy clicker....

Proofread: yes but I'm german as always so... ;)

Love that song and thought it fits perfect for this chapter♡

CHAPTER 4

♡IF I ONLY COULD♡

"bless you Honey" Bella sneezes.

"you ok?" I ask them.

"yeah I'm fine thanks" he smiles at me while we grab our luggage at the calgary airport, wrapped up tightly cause of the weather that hits us all pretty hard.

-22 degrees and pure white snow everywhere covers the world. "We should stop landing on different planets" I laugh and grab my tissue out of my pocket.

While we are about to leave the airport we hear someone calling "Bellie!" Almost cinematic, Bella turns around, her look which immediately tells me that she knows exactly who is calling her.

There it is! The huge and incredibly sweet grin of her!

With a speed she is embraced, not by anyone no. There is only one who makes her laugh like that and that is papa Pedro. Even I have to smile broadly.

This happy mood is so contagious!

"Pedro, you're here already? God, I missed you so much all this time," she says so british I could melt.

"Bella, it's so good to see you here again! Aaaaaand yes I am already here today because I have to go through some scenes with Craig and Neil.

There's a lot coming up" He winks at her and then looks at me, who waits patiently.

"And who is this pretty young lady?" he asks smiling at me.

"aah so Pedro that's Y/N. Y/N? That's Pedro" Bella seems pretty happy which also makes me happy.

"It's an honor to meet you, Bella told me a lot about your time on set. I'm glad you took such good care of her" I tell him, which makes him look mischievously at Bella, as if he knew directly what was going on between us.

A real daddy. Pedro looks at his watch and gets a little hectic.

"I'm running out of time, I'll see you on set in the next few weeks! Adiós cariños" He waves as he leaves and Bella looks after him wistfully.

"Zaddy huh?" I give her a cheeky grin and she punches me on my arm. "Come on let's go before we freeze here".

With our luggage we move on until we finally arrive at our hotel room. "How did you stand it on the first shoot? This is inhumanly cold."

"eating a lot of healthy food and going pretty often outside." she says while unpacking her bag. She sneezes again and grabs a towel. "I need a hot bath. Tomorrow is the meeting with Neil right after breakfast."

"alright!" I throw myself on the bed and close my eyes while Bella takes a bath.

------NEXT DAY AT THE MEETING-----

"Neiiil it's so nice to see you again" Bella hugs him with joy.

"Y/N!" I introduce myself and can't believe I'm in front of the head of Naughty Dog. "it's an absolutely honor to meet you! I really enjoyed every game you made!" I tell him in awe.

"so what is the next game your working on?" I look cheeky with the knowledge that he will not tell me anyway.

He looks mysterious and pretends not to know. A Cough. No not because Neil Druckman wants to distract.

No that came from Bella this time again.

"So let's get started right away! This way. There are a total of just over 600 women who have applied for Dina. a few of them are on the shortlist. we'll look at all of them and you Bella make it clear which ones you have a good feeling about."

"all right" she says rather absently and takes her text sheet in her hand. Again a cough as she tries to talk to the various Dina performers.

I can feel the tension emanating from Bella all the way to me. Something is not right.

I go closer to her to make sure that everything is in order since we are here for about 3 hours. The Dina actress also comes close to her, almost too close.

"Bella?" Neil looks questioningly at her as she makes no more sound.

I was about to push my way through when Bella collapses and the actress representing Dina catches her. She holds her bridal style which almost makes me puke.

"Bella! What's going on!?" I ask with concern all over my face.

"I don't know. We were just saying our lines and then she collapsed," the Dina actress says, looking worriedly at Bella, grabbing her forehead and putting her forehead against Bella's so she can better feel if he has a fever. "Give him to me!" my tone is anything but relaxed.

"I'll take her to the doctor" says the actress.

Bella is breathing heavily and obviously sweating, which only makes me more anxious.

"I told you to hand her over to me!!!" Without realizing that my tone sounds almost aggressive, I get almost threateningly close to the actress, who hands Bella to me, completely perplexed.

"I will immediately request the doctor to your hotel room, don't worry Y/N." Neil puts a hand on my shoulder and I leave together with Bella in bridal style the set, back to our room.

"I'm so sorry babe...I knew something was wrong. I shouldn't have let you go."

Her breath is still fast and short, totally sweaty, she doesn't even have the strength to hold on to me anymore.

"Y/N....." she whispers almost inaudibly while I look at her with a sad face.

"here we go" Arrived I immediately put her to bed her whole body shaking terribly.

"it's ok sweety...I'm here I promise" I cuddle up to him for now, take him in my arms and put my chin on his head.

Firmly gripped, he snuggles close to me and mumbles inaudibly something to himself. Completely exhausted, Bella tries to control her breathing, which is almost impossible due to the trembling.

"You're burning up...I'll get you something to cool you down"

With the cool cloth on his forehead I try to lower his temperature a bit. "If I only could swap places with you...If I only could be sick...not you"

"mmmhh...." Bella whimpers and is completely drenched in sweat.

"can you change your clothes? you're freezing because you're all sweaty babe" I say calmly but Bella shakes her head. "ok do you want me to help you?" a normal question.

She nods and tries to sit up with all her strength.

"ok hands up sweety" without much effort I have the hoodie in my hand.

quite clever Bella.........no bra.

I put the hoodie aside while Bella doesn't even notice that she is sitting topless in front of me.

Damn!

I swallow, bite my lower lip with all my might.

Pull yourself together shit! I thought, while grabbing a loose shirt and pull it over her head.

"thaaat's a good boy" I joke, looking down at his trousers. "lay down then we'll have it done in a minute. The doctor will be here soon as well."

He lies down, his breath still faster than usual, I reach for his waistband.

If I didn't know better, he'd be bright red because of my actions.

I blame the fever. Trousers off and aside my gaze falls on his panties and I pray to God that this is now only wet because of all the sweat.

"jesus...." I say inaudibly and want to grab the new one as Bella grabs me by my arm, pulls powerless and looks at me completely blurred. "B...Bella....what..." I stammer "you have to put something on or you'll soon have pneumonia" I look at her worriedly, but she absentmindedly grabs my hand and leads it between her legs directly on her panties.

This is now a joke. my totally sick girlfriend is so delirious with fever that she can't even think straight. great! "Sweety your completely out of mind...come on" I take my hand back to me, breath deeply and want to put on her new shorts. When I start to put them on, she pulls her legs towards her and pouts while looking at me almost pathetically begging for more.

"Bella....if you want to make out ok, but not now and not when you're so sick!" I say with a stern look and put my hand on her thigh. "It's not that I don't want to but I want you to be yourself." Fuck I don't even know how much experience she has.

"We just leave the shorts off" I say relaxed and with a kiss on her thigh I wanted to cuddle up to her as it knocks on the door. I open and the doctor comes in, goes to her and looks at her more closely.

"I can reassure you, this is a common flu infection. in 2-3 days she should be much better!" He puts medicine on the table and wishes her a speedy recovery as he leaves.

"Well thank god it's nothing worse...so...let's give you your medicine and relax more" I say while I get everything ready, give it to her and finally nuzzle up to her. "the actress tho......" My face completely thoughtful while whispering.

----------------2 Days later----------‐-------

Bella is doing much better so he has decided to go back to work without remembering everything that happens the day he collapsed. Everyone is pleased to see that he is already feeling better. And as if I would have thought it, the same actress who grabbed Bella shows up.

"hey Bella are you feeling better?"

"yes thank you" he smiles simply and grabs his script. Almost affectionate as a dog, she creeps around Bella and speaks her lines.I sit in the background and trust Bella completely. When it comes to acting, she's a natural, she doesn't have to prove anything to anyone anymore.

A flurry of activity ensues when Pedro suddenly appears. Bella totally happy hugs him and they talk about various things.

everyone laughs and the actress of Dina becomes super pushy. Bella obviously a bit annoyed takes it easy, which is not the case with me. This bitch gets on my nerves! Pedro greets Neil while Bella and the actress continue with the rehearsals.

"ugh... ok I think that's enough for now." Bella looks at the list of all the performers when he suddenly feeling hands on his shoulders.

"let's rehearse some other lines, i can recite some more!" the actress shouting completely weird.

Awkwardly Bella turns away and gives her a 'WTF' look."

"ah....sorry I have enou--"

"get your fucking hands off of her! I swear!" I walk over to Bella, all eyes on me. "don't you fucking dare touch her again!" i look at her like a mother wolf defending her young, ready to do anything.

"everything good here? stay calm" is the first thing pedro says. I stare at the actress and want to turn around when I hear her snort arrogantly. "Who are you to tell me what to do!"

".........."

I turn around, ready to kick her ass, but I don't get far. "HEY HEY relax!" shouts Neil and he and Bella hold me tight so I don't tear her apart.

"you fucking chick keep your hands better off of my girlfriend!" I growl at that bitch and I swear if they weren't holding me she would be the next bloater in the show without any recognition value.

Bella grabs my face in her hands "babe it's ok calm down I don't give a shit about her I promise you." She tries to placate me with a goddamn sweet look. "She just wanted to act for the show".

"Yeah... Exactly....." I said ironically

"Enough here now. You pack your things and get out! We'll find someone else for this part" The actress disappears and I sulk after her while Neil lets go of me. Bella also takes an annoyed breath and goes to Neil. "please don't blame her, the actress was very pushy" she explains relaxed.

"I understand, just let's get on with it already. something like that can't happen again!" Neil makes clear while Bella looks down at her feet reproachfully as she feels Pedro's hands on her back .

"nice that you have someone who is obviously very important to you" he winks at Bella and claps his hands. "so let's just get on with the work and relax. VAMOS!"

Neil looks around at the other actresses and takes a cup of coffee. "Twenty minute break and then we'll continue. We don't have too much time left today." I go and find a quiet spot away from them.

The rest of the day was quiet and Bella took her role as ellie very serious. Unbelievable how she is so in charakter while acting. it's like seeing the ellie from the show, not my bella.

Well thats also pretty hot, I smile and still have a guilty conscience. the thought that this actress touched bella makes me sick to my stomach. So they call this professional? don't make me laugh....

"Hey Ellie! Look at me. It's Okay! your Home. Your Home!" The Dina actress speaks her line while Bella going nuts in this awfull scene I remember of the game. She is unbelievable. It's as if she's really experiencing these terrifying flashbacks.

I rest while the exercises come to an end and finally we can go back in our hotelrooms. The way back was silent. Bella is obviously exhausted and I'm still pissed about the stupid actress. When I arrive, I close the door in annoyance and look at Bella without a word, who just throws herself on the bed.

"Y/N are you ok? I mean come on....she just touched me...nothing serious." Bella gets up and comes towards me.

"where did she touch you?" I stand in front of her completely indifferent.

"what...?" Bella looks at me confused.

"show it to me..." I move closer, place both my arms by the sides of her head and lightly press her against the wall while looking into her eyes.

"W...why is that important?"

"because I will clean every single spot"

"And...how...? She looks at me almost helplessly.

"I'm gonna...." I start kissing her neck very gently than slowly work my way to her shoulder, making sure every single spot is mine. ".....Kiss every single spot on you where you've been touched" I say teasingly, a sweet moan escapes her mouth and her breathing becomes faster. damn she likes it....

but this satisfaction isn't enough for me......

every single kiss becomes more greedy and makes her body tremble. Doesn't seem like anyone has ever done it to her when she's that sensitive. "mhm..." a short whimper comes out while she loses all strength in her legs and sinks to the ground.

I squat down and give her a cheeky look. "Already done?" I get closer to see her sweaty face. "Babe everything alright? was I too bo--l-...." She interrupts me with a kiss, so I fall back on the floor with her, with my back to the bed and looks at me expectantly.

"...how experienced are you?" I almost whisper.

"had never the chance to make some..." she says a little ashamed and blushes.

I smile lovingly and take her cheek in my hand. "It's ok baby, then let's have this experience together. I've never been with a woman myself so...at least it's a little bit new for me as well.

She looks at me uncertainly and I kiss her carefully and tenderly on her soft lips, but she finds it difficult to respond.

"you wanna wait? it's ok...you decide when time is perfect" she looks so incredibly innocent I just wanna give her the pleasure of her life.

"just a little...I need time to think about it' or to...prepare" She stands up and takes a breath. "Honestly? That felt nice" She smiles really wide at me, just the kind of smile that could melt me.

GAAAWD

"can you stop being so cute!? or otherwise I can't resist anymore" I laugh and poke her in the stomach. "Let's just snuggle and go sleeping. I have a whole workday on my laptop tomorrow while your being my ellie" I wink to her, grab her and throw her on the bed, she completely laughing.

--------------NEXT DAY---------------

The day starts pretty simply as we woke up. She is already awake, ready to continue rehearsing and bent over me to give me a soft kiss on my sleepy lips.

"see you this evening my darling" she said in the most british way I could just die. Her british acent is to damn hot as if the queen westeros speaks in person right next to me. Better don't call her Lady I thought and start to get ready as well.

Everyone spent today with their work without any further complications and I can't wait to take a hot shower and go to our bed.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡WARNING SMUT ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

(SKIP CHAP. IF U'R UNCOMFORTABLE)

I unlock the door and put my key down, take off my shoes and am about to enter the room when I hear strange noises. I stare at the door to our room and blink a few times because what I'm hearing sounds like someone having a hell of a time without me.

I peek through the door and I wish my eyes hadn't seen it THIS. There she lies completely naked and plays with her fingers in places that I would love to play. Her sweet and wet folds screaming for love.

Her movements looks clumsy almost helpless and fuck....I would help her so bad that only the thought of it gives me goosebumps everywhere.

She really tries hard and right now I understand what she's been meaning to 'prepare'. She looks like she doesn't do it that much. Did she ever cum on her own? All the thoughts making me nuts.

My heart is racing and I take a few steps back as Bella keeps moaning softly.

Shouldn't she still be on set for the night rehearsal? I grab the front doorknob to open the door only to slam it shut with a jerk.

Loud enough for Bella to hear. I wait a moment and walk slowly to the door, spy in and see that she's covered by her blanket.

well... "hey Bells sweety your tired? Thought you had to work through the whole night" I walk in.

"That's been postponed until tomorrow so I'm already there." Her voice is slightly shaky.

I can literally see that she's horny.

"I'll take a quick shower and then I'll go to bed with you"

Only briefly inside I come out of the bathroom. Her look almost hurts. She looks unrelaxed and her legs are visibly tense under the covers. Only with a towel around I look at her pitifully.

"How do you stand it?" I come to the edge of her bed and sit down. "I heard you when I came home"

Bella hides more under her blanket

"Without you, I didn't think much about it...but since I've had you, I've had this feelings again and again...." She looks at me for help, almost begging. I look at her and run my hand under the covers along her thighs the reason Bella melts already by that touch.

"I think your body would appreciate letting me blow off some pressure" I whisper softly.

"It's so embarrassing" She hides under her blanket, bright red in the face.

"Oh dear, it doesn't have to be. I just want you to feel good." I'd better keep the fact that my heart is racing to myself and crawl under the covers to her, can smell every scent from her body. He's screaming for relief so bad. I bend over her while supporting myself with my hands on the sides of her head.

"Don't worry, I'll do it very gently." She nods, her breathing shaky full of excitement.

"Tell me when I should stop" Still under the blanket, I bend down to her and start kissing her neck tenderly.

Soft moans escape her innocent lips and suddenly she grabs my towel. Her beautiful fawn eyes looking at me.

"It would only be fair if you weren't wearing anything either" she says with a shy gaze.

I smirk and let her undress me.

"your so beautiful" realizing what she is doing she gets tears in her eyes, covering the face with her hands. I gently grab them and kiss her tears away. "are you ok?" I said so calmly even a mountain lion could be tamed.

"yeah..it's just....I...I'm so happy right now" she smiles a bit embarrassed.

"well that's good. I wanna make you even more happy" I smile cheekily and kiss her softly on the mouth, deepen it and feel her hips press against me, giving me goose bumps everywhere. I work my way down to her chest and look at her almost begging. She nods shyly and small noises exiting her innocent lips, hips bucking under my touch.

Bella is already close to heaven I can feel it, her body already slightly shaking. While her breath getting more ponderous under her sinnful moans I keep working my way down, stopping right befor her most sensitive spot.

"can I touch you?" I breathe heavily, my heart to excited to beating correctly.

She hesitate for a single moment but nods, me pushing the blanket out of my fucking sight to pet her slit gently. A sudden moan escapes her mouth.

"holy shit....your so wet....and all for me!" While I realize where my fingers are right now, especially WHO I gave the pleasure I start to going nuts. I can barely hold myself back, the reason I kiss her clit making Bella to a moaning mess.

"Y.....Y/N..." Her moans starting getting heavier, her back arching off the bed begging for so much more of the sensation.

"w...weird feeling...w....please wait!"

"you ever cum by yourself baby?" I ask with a husky voice and move my hand a little bit slower. She shakes her head no and I start to move my hand faster, not thinking about to stop. "Y/N! wait i....it's so weird!" she moans ungodly under my kisses I startet again on her clit.

"it's ok......let it come. you will love it" I say between the kisses and can feel she wants to squeezes her shaking tighs. "t.....to much...it's to much oh gawd!" her moans complete out of control sounding almost pornographic while she tries to keep her breath.

"there you go darling" I can feel her whole pussy throbbing more, getting pretty intens and I speed up.

"I can't.....I can't contr...ol...feels...so good"

"cum all for me baby!" She screams so sinnfull and her whole body is trembeling while experiencing the feeling for the first time. "what a brave queen..." I kiss her belly, teasing her a bit more and finally let her calm down.

"holy fuck.....that was....-"

"intense?" I give her a sweet smile and cuddle up to her, taking the blanket that we're not getting cold.

"I never thought it would be so good" she says so british again I have to kiss her right now. She not that shy anymore deepens the kiss and whimpers in it.

"someone enjoyed the taste and wants more huh?" I look resolutely into her eyes.

"you're awesome Y/N" she kisses me.

"no.....you're awesome....you're everything for me...seriously. I think I love you Bella" I never was this serious in my life. Bella looks overwhelmed and just snuggles up to me with no response. That's enough for me...... for now.

Yeeeah so here we go. If u liked it show me if u want I'm just curious if its not trash😭

For more Chapters, stories and more just look at my Masterlist ♡ (next chap in progress)

#bella ramsey #bella ramsey x female reader #bella ramsey x reader #bella ramsey x y/n #bella ramsey x you #hbo tlou #lgbtq #bella ramsey smut #Youtube

[earthtoharlow]

Liked by yourbff, enews, and 17,511 others

yourinstagram: Jack Harlow just got done performing, someone tell him I love him I’m shy 👉👈

view all 1546 comments

y/nfan: oop

Harlowsource: sir @jackharlow

yourbff: no seriously please notice her so she can shut up @jackharlow

user: one thing about y/n she gonna love a lice lieutenant

user1: who is this

user: a model and actress :)

Liked by yourbff, jackharlow , and 50,875 others

yourinstagram: Siri play First Class by Jack Harlow

view all 1694 comments

user: no one: … y/n: yeah but Jack Harlow

userbff: I thought you were just going to the room to change clothes not post about Jack !!!

user: how long till she notices Jack liked her post

JackHarlow: ✈️

y/nupdates: JACK COMMENTED TOO !!!!

harlowphotos: Someone film her reaction please I’m begging

liked by yourinstagram, urbanwyatt and 610,430 others

JackHarlow: Life under the scope

view all 3987 comments

user: u cute I guess 🙄

user: good lordT

urbanwyatt: zaddy

user: marry me now or I’m dying

yourinstagram: come home the kids miss you

JackHarlow: be there soon

user: not them flirting in the comments now omg

15,065 likes

y/nupdates: NEW || Y/N and @JackHarlow were spotted hugging outside her apartment in LA. People magazine say the pair met officially at a party and have been inseparable since!

view 200 comments

user: hate seeing people live my dreams

user: Jack dating his stalker 🙄

y/nupdates: They could just be friends and if you aren’t gonna be nice then I’ll block you

user: the best part about this is y/n keeping this a secret for months

user: MY PARENTS OMGGGGGG

liked by nemoachida, yourinstagram and 1,305,785 others

JackHarlow: Come Home The Kids Miss You. Album available May 6th. Thank you @yourinstagram for the title name

view all 8,965 comments

user: let’s fucking gooooooo 🔥

user: already know this about to be heat !!!

user: okaaaay but why has no one mentioned that y/n came up with the album title

yourinstagram: so proud of you 🥹 can’t wait for everyone to hear it

liked by jackharlow, yourbff, urbanwyatt and 976,678 others

yourinstagram: Come Home The Kids Miss You OUT NOW! I’m fortunate enough to witness your passion, your hustle, tireless work ethic and your ambition. I don’t even think you realize how iconic you are. Love you forever, Jackman

user: omgggggggg

user: so it’s official now I could cry

user: she called him Jackman

user: from stalker to friend to lovers. Iconic.

jackharlow: fuck I love you more

liked by yourbff, urbanwyatt, and 980,257 others

Jackharlow: I’ll make another post later about how much this album means to me but I wanted to post my biggest muse first. I love you babygirl and could not have done this without you. This was her reaction to hearing Lil Secret & Poison btw

view all 8,064 comments

user: please not this picture

user: I too get emotional listening to your music

yourinstagram: JACK I LOOK LIKE A WET RAT

user: the cutest ever! I knew those were about her !!!

urbanwyatt: my parents 🫣

—————————————————-

first Jack harlow AU hope you guys enjoy this and let me know if want me to make more :)))

Face claim: Chloe Bridges

#jack harlow #Jack harlow reader #Jack harlow social media AU #social media au #jack harlow x y/n #jack harlow x reader

[everythingbutresolved]

The Worst Haim Fic Ever

Fictional!Hamish Linklater x f!reader

Rating: Horny Teenager

Summary: Let's break the writing dry spell with something so bad it will self destruct when you have finished reading it shall we?

Warnings: Grammar? What is it? Abuse of Zeta Gen talk. Reader is a a hamfam mutual and Haim has several nicknames, gratuitous descriptions of the male body, unprotected sex, moron dirty talk.

Notes: Thank you so much for the love in the past year, I'm trying to love back and be more productive, I just wanted to share the silliest thing that popped in my mind...enjoy 😜

ur sitting at home in ur pjs all comfy with half edible left from the tray you baked for the weekend.

Ur dog and you are watching netflix eating only red m&m’s talking to the friendz in your phone when u hear a knock at ur door. u get up and spill all the candies on the floor but don’t worry cuz u already gulped down all the red and yellow choco, but carry your puppy with u because you didnt order anything from amazong in like 3 days so your four legged friend might have to scare an intruder. u open the door and it’s the hottest man ever

 Hummus Longlater

u almost drop on your butt bcz you were just talking to your mutuals in barks and meows how much u need to climb that human palmtree covered in chocolate fudge. U say “Drop gorgeous Daddy Legend wtf ya doin here?” But that piece of licorice bats his eye hair so quickly u fall back on the couch while ur doggo goes and pack his toys cuz he's going with him.

“Hey babygirl” Hamosh sais, leaning on ur doorframe, revealing he is wearing nothing but a white vest two sizes down a toddler and the tightest jeans ever sold by those gud bois at Levi’s. A “Look I know I’m your bias and that I always munch on it, and finally my Zaddy whiskers r too drenched in fandom juice to keep ignoring them. The fire has spread and reached my cheeks missus.”

ur like “omg !! Im not wearing any makeup!! Or pants!! Oh skinny legend u’re so father, periodt!!!”  but he just lafs at that because tahts what he likes about u. “ya girl i know thats why im heer. I’m mad lit on god no god no cap. Drip drip. I heard u enjoy eating junk food and getting your junk food ate out. Do u wanna rip my pants and eat me up gurl? Leave no crumbs baby.”

And saying that he loafs in to your house, tripping over doggo when he refuses to hover his naked feet. “i like your trash panda” “don’t scratch him under his ear or he’ll hump ur leg till tomorrow” U say before smushing your face into his. He smells like old spice and tastes like pumpkin donut and matcha latte. You untangle your tongues only to ask “Hammac glorious, your foot is always on my neck daddy, but I have to ask, r u real or is the weed they sold me pretty fire?”

Ur pup gives you  stern look and plops on his furry ass and ur sure he says “human im petotaly serious don0t parse this or ill foist on you three gens of my litters – mine and the raccoon that lives under the porch”

Himbo grabs ur sweaty ass and says “The way u scratch ur armpits called me like a charm and i just had to come get a taste of this sweet sweet potato couch.” He stretches his vest over his head, his eyes are the color of the hazelnut frosted chocolate brownie you had this morning. “well? U got me like La-La-La baby, wanna sit on my face or what ?”“duh,” u spit, moving puppy aside. “I love you down Mr. H” His chest is smooth with baby oil when you slide ur hands on it. He has huge hands that scoop under ur ass and throw you on the bed and rip of your pjs. Ur android goes flying out the pocket, probsbly never to be seen again. U have the time to chant “You’r our beloved, and u have us in a chokehold!” then is on top of you fast, pinnning you to the bed, slopply groping under ur shirt for ur boobs that bounce boobily. He chokes u with his socks that smells like socks but u kinda think thats hot. His jeans sway to the floor and skitter away, leaving him in his boxers he got for christmas in 2003. His heft is huge, huger than his hands. It snaps the elastic and elicopter it for a ful minute until u’re hypnotized. “dont worry babygurl this will help u get it all in” he grabs ur legs and throws them over his shoulder and massages ur pussy until u scream and snatch his fingers up your coochie like the dyson ur mom gave u for xmas.

“omg Mr. H that was nom-nom delish how r u so good at pumpussy??!” you gasp gasplessly

“since I’m in my assembly period my strengths multiplied, now I can make u cum with just a flex of my massive eyebrows watch this” and with that he hoola-hoops his hairy caterpillars and makes u *O* a few more times “ r u ready baby gril?”

“yes Zaddy!” 

He likes that. He ate that up a compliment and had u GAG, while ur cunt eats it all up. U can see urself cumming in the reflex of his caramel pudding eyes. He moans so loud the neighbors think ur killing someone and get more popcorns. U scream obscenities and fuck and cum and fuck and cum all over the apartment. Ur doggo has found ur phone and is taking a video to send ur besties later. The couch rols over from so much fuckng and cumming. Hammamet keeps gong flexing his infinite thighs becuz yours gave up. He doesn't unload until the very end when he climbs on the bedframe and showers u singing Sweet Home Carolina. U almost drown.

“wow mr Hamigo thank u” u say. Talking makes cum gush off ur hair

“ur welcom. Btw I gotta go now.” He swishes in his jeans like a well grased seal and moves to ur side of the bed. U start crying for the sudden loss of his massive cock. “Hamandbacon I thought you were different but ur like everyone else, mid.”

He looks into ur eyes and lovingly swipes some cum from your face.

“I don’t get it. I just gave u the best camping of ur life”

“And now ur fleeing”  

He lafs u off “I have 47 more friendly stops after this, don’t be greedy babgurl” U bat ur sticky palms with joy, meanwhile your familiar retrieves ur phone for U so you can give a head up to your mutuals – get ready with water and lube.

@littleredwritingcat this is for you bestie

Randy tag @supplanther @plainlo-inthemorning @girlwiththenegantattoo @agirlinherhead @madsmilfelsen @aherdofbees @chronic-ghost @ebiemidnightlibrarian @pegplunkett @jyngerpeach and more

#hamfam #hamfam assemble #hamish linklater #fanfic #The Worst Haim Fic Ever #silly thing #yes there's 48 members on discord

[gloutena]

Cupid is so dumb! || R.Haitani

You and Ran challenge each other, whoever falls in love first is the looser. Both of you hate loosing so even though you aren't betting anything, it's gonna be hard to say you lost, so of course you say yes. doesn't hurt to take on a challenge, right?

Inspired by Cupid - Fifty fifty

Not gonna use pronouns but reader has breasts.

Warnings: Cursing, a little smut idk??

ART NOT BY ME CREDITS TO OWNER

This is only part one. Make sure to give request!

(Zaddy? Sorry, Zaddy?)

Your POV:

"Miss L/N! Uhm.. Boss wants to talk to you.". "Oh? I already did what i always do, what could be the problem now?" I smile at my assistant as we walk towards my boss, Yuko Horoshi's office. I researched that the name 'Yuko' stands for 'helpful child', he is helpful and he really depends on me so I can't let him nor my guard down. 

Once we get to the door I do my 'special' knock, *Knock, knock, knock,knock,knock,knock,knock,knock,knock,knock,knock*. Yes, it's the peppa pig intro. "Come in.", I open the door and walk toward my boss. "Hey Yuko, heard you called me- Oh? What's with the special guests?", "That's what i called you for, Bonten. The biggest gang organization".

 I turn to the gang,  i have to admit, they are handsome. "Why hello there, my names Ran, Ran Haitani", the man with short lavender and black hair grabs my hand and kisses it while smirking at me. "Stop being a fucking creep you weirdo". Another man with pink bubblegum hair gives Ran a disgusted look at the man.

"Oh i don't mind", it was quite lovely.". I bend down where my mouth is near Ran's ear, "In fact, it was so lovely i would like to do something more than that." I stand back up and walk behind Yuko's chair holding onto the back of it.

"You're teasing me? How naughty, sorry though". I'm caught by surprise when he says that, "It's gonna take more than that to get me hard.". "That's enough unnecessary talk, i'm Y/N L/N . But please, call me Y/N", I give them all a closed eyed smile and we continue the meeting.

After the meeting I lead Bonten out of the  building giving them the best service i can. Manjiro orders Sanzu to call their men to pick them up, they walk out after 5 minutes but one decides not to leave just yet.

"Hey, you thought I forgot?". I turn around to see who's the owner of that voice when i'm suddenly pushing and pinned to the wall, I look up to the slender figure to see Ran Haitani. "You've been a naughty girl and haven't been punished".

Ran puts his leg in between my thighs right where my cunt is as he moves his right hand down to my waist, he puts his leg down and moves his hand to my thighs and pulls it up to his waist. "W-wait Haitani, you're supposed to be leaving." "Oh? You fell for me, what a shame. I wanted this little game to last longer".

 The lavender haired man puts his mouth to my ear and repeats my words i said earlier. "Remember, it was quite lovely. You said you wanted to do something more, yeah?", I smirk on how he remembered that and decide to play along with his little game. I flip myself causing Ran to be the victim on the wall.

I grab him by his tie and kiss his neck to make things more interesting and entertaining. "Oh, have the tables turned?", I look up at the Haitani and he's blushing with a smug face on. He flips us again so now i'm back at the wall, he lifts my chin up and kisses me on my lips spreading them apart so his tongue can touch mine. He breaks the kiss and turns to walk away.

Before he does he looks at me and says his final words before disappearing. "you just got rizzed".

(HE'S SUCH A CUTIE PIE I CAN'T)

I'M SORRY IF THIS STORY IS ABSOLUTELY TRASH IT'S MY FIRST STORY

YOU GUYS PLEASE TELL ME IF I'M DOING SOMETHING  WRONG TY FOR READING THOUGH!!

I WILL POST MORE PARTS TO THIS STORY!! FOR NOW BYE BYE <3

(WC: 663 Including this)

#ran haitani #ran x reader #tokyo rev x reader #tokyo revengers #bonten #Gloutena #Uzxsy_