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auteurdelabre · 5 months
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Something to Fight For (Epilogue) Dad!Joel x f!Reader
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Something to Fight For: Epilogue
Warnings: Tooth-rottingly sweet epilogue.
Words: 5.3
a/n: I dragged y’all through angsty hell and I PROMISED I would deliver a happy ending and imo it don’t get much happier than this! Now, if you're sad this is over I understand. Nice thing is, I got vignettes happening featuring the characters in this story. Some of 'em sweet, some spicy, some funny. I can't say goodbye to these characters or this world quite yet. So I'm not gonna. And if you want, you're always welcome to request a scene you'd like to see in the comments! I love hearing what you want to see! And I got heaps of other writing, but if you like this sweeter sort I recommend: “Bravo! Take a Bow” and “Losing our Minds Together”
I thank every single one of you out there that read this story and left a review because it really feels like we built a community here in the comment section. I'm gonna miss seein' y'all here. Hopefully you stick around while I keep writing, but if not I am so glad we could share this online moment together. Thank you for making this fanfic author a happy gal. I'm gettin' choked up here so I'll stop and we can get on to seeing our sweet idiots in love.
Oh and please review, reblog, etc cuz it makes me smile.
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You walk into life on Rancher Street as naturally as if you've always been a fixture there. You think this is borne from a routine the three of you slipped into without thinking.
Mornings are coffee and cereal (Joel's banana pancakes on the weekends), then it's getting ready, brushing Sarah's hair, packing leftovers into cartoon lunch bags (for Sarah) and brown paper bags (for you and Joel). 
You're dropped off first; your work is on the way to the school. Its kisses for both of their sweet smiling faces and then you're thrust into the world of animal rescue. Joel drives Sarah to school next, holding her hand until they reach her classroom where he kisses her forehead and tells her to "learn lots" before handing her off to her new first grade teacher. 
He drives to Tommy at whatever site they're working at. The days are long, but punctuated with texts from you. Most are funny, some sweet. Occasionally Joel tries to write back but when he really wants to interact with you he just excuses himself and calls you. Hearing your voice always makes him smile in that dreamy, crooked way that has Tommy giving him shit the rest of the day.
At five promptly Joel returns to pick you up with Sarah buckled in her car seat smiling up at you. His heart jumps every time you come through the door, eyes bright and smiling as you jog over. He holds back the urge to kiss you senseless, restraining you both to a quick peck and then drives his girls home. 
Dinner is done by Joel unless you've offered (which you rarely do because cooking is a drag). Instead you help Sarah set the table and the meal is spent listening to Sarah talk about her day and the animals that you’ve helped to rescue. 
After dinner Sarah goes to play with her toys or watch a DVD while you tidy up. Joel sits with his coffee in his favorite green mug at the counter, eyes on you and chatting as you do the dishes. He always tries to help at first but you always remind him that he did the cooking and that you want to keep things fair. 
This is when you both talk about everything and anything. Work, movies you want to see, plans for the weekend, philosophical questions (you've both decided that you'd rather fight one horse sized duck versus a thousand duck sized horses, for example). Joel is hard to get information out of. He isn't used to talking about himself, but you urge him to do so. He thinks his job is boring but you're fascinated by controlling clients and his keen mind when problem solving an issue at a job site. 
Sometimes Sarah turns the volume of  the TV up really high during these times and Joel has to yell over the noise at her to turn it down, smiling and shaking his head. It's one of your favorite parts about being here. There's always noise in the background, either a television or laughter. Your home had been so quiet, so empty, you'd just never realized
The other favorite part is how Joel always finds ways to touch you. Subtle things like a hand trailing over your lower back as you wash the dishes, nestling his shoulder against yours as you watch television together, laughing and hip checking you gently as he passes you in the hallway. 
The only thing not perfect (at least for Joel) is the odd evening when you leave to go back to Maria's basement suite. He doesn't call the old suite your home because as far as he's concerned this is your home. 
His stomach always drops when he sees you've gathered your purse in your hands, ready to leave. Joel usually walks you to your car, but some nights he stops you both at the front door, bringing you into his arms and kissing you deeply. 
"I should go Joel," you tell him as he holds you, his mouth moving from your lips to your jaw, kissing that spot behind your ear that has you whimpering and your legs buckling. "Still have stuff there."
"Please stay," Joel murmurs against your mouth, hands wrapped around your waist as he presses into you against the wall. "Just a little longer."
Sometimes (often) this works. Your resolve breaks under his sweet mouth and hands and on these nights you wrap your legs around his waist and allow him to carry you back to the bedroom. 
These nights he spends hours making love to you until you're too exhausted to leave. These nights Joel likes best because you linger in his arms and in his bed until the morning, the scent of your perfume on his pillow and sheets until you return that evening. 
"Love having you here," Joel sleepily murmurs into your hair, kissing you awake one morning. "When are you just gonna move in?" 
Still half asleep in his bed you stretch, snuggling up against him and sighing into the crook of his neck. "Whenever you want, baby."
Joel wants you there all the time. He wants Sarah to know that you're there; he doesn't want to hide you. But you're tentative, nervous that this all feels too good too fast. You ask that Sarah not know that you're spending the night, not just yet. She knows that you’re daddy’s girlfriend, but that’s all you want her to know right now.
You pretend to arrive in the mornings, making a show of ringing the doorbell and smirking as Joel welcomes you in, his eyes amused. 
Despite the occasional seduction, Joel understands and he lets you go at your own pace. He agrees to what makes you feel comfortable. 
But he loves when you arrive with a new cardboard box of your stuff from Maria's. He sees the blush across your cheek as he excitedly takes it from you, asking where this one will go. Most of its clothes and those boxes are promptly brought to the bedroom and unpacked into the closet. Seeing your blouses hung next to his button ups makes him feel good.
Week by week more of your things are brought over until one day there's nothing left for you at Maria's except for your bed, dresser and sofa. You tell him as much over a late night snack of chocolate pudding after Sarah has been put to bed. 
"Pretty much everything I need is here."
Joel makes note of this, his heart hammering in his chest as he reaches into one of the drawers and pulls out the key he got cut.
“You’ll need this, then.”
He slides it across the counter with his forefinger, his eyes not leaving your face as he does.  He sees the surprise there, the widening of your eyes.
"You have a lot of keys to your house just lying around?" You joke, feeling your heart race.
"Nah, got this one cut the day after the wedding," Joel murmurs. "Thought you'd need it sooner or later." 
He loves seeing you blush, especially when you do that shy smile of yours.
When you look uncertain later that night in bed next to him, fingers twisting together anxiously Joel notices, lowering his book to glance at you. 
"What's wrong?"
"Are you really okay with me moving in here?" You ask with a furrowed brow. "It's not too soon?"
Joel's mouth over yours is all the answer you need. But he's so delighted by your potential move in that he'd already launched into an outline of what to do with your furniture. 
"We could sell your sofa and bed. I know a guy who needs a sofa. Only 'cuz my stuff is bigger and already here, but I don't want you feelin' like this isn't your house too so maybe we should-"
Kissing is the second best way to stop Joel Miller from rambling. The first is climbing on top of him and urging him inside of you, languidly bringing you both to orgasm.
You do both just to be safe. 
The things left at Paul's had been clothing and a few personal items. You considered leaving it, but decide in the end that you shouldn't have to. 
Your small pile of cardboard boxes are left outside his old apartment. He's sure not to be in said apartment when Joel goes with you to retrieve them.  
You'd ridden over in Joel's truck, the day punctuated by an unexpected silence with Joel's protective hand over your knee. He'd loaded the boxes alongside you, his face tight. With every box retrieved from Paul's place Joel grew more and more miserable. 
He hadn't responded to your gentle teasing as you both worked, had turned down your idea of going out for lunch, and had been all over a grumpy bastard. 
When you'd loaded everything and were driving home Joel's hand had flown back to your knee, grip just as tight as before.  When you finally questioned him about his bizarre behavior his dark eyes had been hard. 
"The boxes and Paul," Joel winces, eyes fixed on the road. "Just reminded me how close I was to losin' you."
You make him pull over right then and there so you can crawl into his lap and kiss him senseless. He wraps his arms around you, pulling you so tightly to him you feel breathless. 
"You'll never lose me, Joel," you whisper against his neck. "Never." 
When you make love that evening your fingers linger on his cheeks as you stare into his eyes and the words you whisper as he fills you are of the love you have for him, the longing for this life you held for so long within you. 
As you both begin to drift off, tangled together under the sheets you press a kiss to that patch in his beard that doesn't quite grow. 
"I'm not going anywhere, Joel. I'm done running."
///
You miss having an office space like your studio had. A little area for just you to organize your thoughts and work. But it's a small price to pay because you like existing on Rancher Street. You've enjoyed every day of the last three months.
It feels like home when you're there and not because of the structure but the two figures inside. Home isn't a place, you've come to realize, its people. Joel and Sarah.
Evening rituals are the same as when you babysat. Picking out books as Sarah slips into bed smelling of toothpaste and the hair cream Joel massages into the curls under her favorite purple bonnet. You smiling at her while she snuggles down under the covers, propping toad up next to her so he can see the pictures in the books.
"Okay we're ready."
The only difference is that Joel is there too, bending down to kiss his daughter's cheek and murmuring a low "G'night babygirl. Sweet dreams. Love you." 
She gives him a sweet 'I love you' back, kissing his lightly bearded cheek. If Joel takes too long to leave, getting distracted by the sight of you gathering books or just wanting to linger, Sarah is prone to shooting him a silent look that communicates: okay, I love you dad, now please leave.
He always does. Because reading before bed is your special time, just the two of you. Joel used to do it on the nights you weren't there, but now you are there every single night his services are no longer necessary. 
Joel's qualities are better served in the kitchen, you and Sarah decide as you watch her drawing on the sidewalk with the chalk you've just bought. 
"Daddy's a better cook than you."
She says it thoughtfully and without malice as she draws a lopsided flower. 
"Yes," you agree with a nod, making a star pattern nearby. "Much better. I think he puts love in his food. I just use salt."
But the ever empathetic Sarah is quick to point out your many virtues as well. The main one of course being your stellar reading ability and your stories in general. 
So every single night Joel stands there outside Sarah's room, arms folded and shoulder tilted against the hallway wall, his cheek facing the half closed door of his daughter. 
There he listens to the two of you giggling or you reading the book Sarah has picked from your pile (Sarah's right, you're very good at doing the voices), the gentle murmurs of 'I love you" thrown back between you two and those sounds wind around Joel's heart in a way he never knew just sounds could. 
He's so fucking happy. 
And when you finally creep out, quietly closing the door behind you and shooting him a pleased smile, Joel is always there to grip you by the hand and drag you to your shared bedroom down the hall. 
Rarely do the two of you make it to the bed with all your clothes on because Joel has many virtues outside of the kitchen as well. 
///
Joel watches you give a frustrated sigh, frowning at the laptop on the kitchen table before putting your face in your hands. 
"Everything okay?"
"Just this fu- darn sanctuary project," you self correct, remembering a listening Sarah sitting across from you. 
Sarah has a piece of paper she has drawn to look like a laptop and she pretends to clack away on it when you do on yours. Joel sits next to you, his knee brushing yours as you complain. 
"Alex's contact said she could get the supplies at cost and he was supposed to get back to me but he hasn't and now the landscaping guy is saying -" you pause, realizing Joel's eyes have taken on a dreamy, faraway look. “-And you're not even listening to me, are you Miller?"
He gives you a guilty look. "Nope."
You give a sharp laugh at his honesty, leaning over and shoving his shoulder with yours affectionately.
"Hey, I really wanna show you somethin'," Joel says with a hint of excitement in his dark brown eyes, a window into the boy he must have been. "C'mon. Both of you." 
You follow him down the steps to the basement, to Tommy's old place, your hand wrapped around Sarah's. You both follow him towards the large door separating the areas, watching his broad shouldered walk, the excitement in his rapid footsteps. 
At the door there he spins with a small anticipatory smile on his handsome face. 
"I thought this would be a good place to have for an office," Joel explains shyly pointing to the door behind him. 
You smile up at him, delighted that he thought of you needing one. He pushes open the door for you, his eyes on your face as he does. 
Balloons. 
Hundreds of colorful balloons take up almost the entire main room of the basement.  
Sarah doesn't wait for you, she runs in headfirst giggling and shrieking, her arms open wide. 
You walk into the basement in a daze, your eyes owlish as you take in this prism of color, feeling the balloons brush your skin, the awe-inspiring sensation of being surrounded in a rainbow. You laugh, it bursts from you.
You can see that the space beyond the balloons has been transformed into an office, complete with built in bookcases and a custom desk under the window. You trace a hand along the desk before being swept up in the color of the balloons and Sarah's contagious laughter.
Joel is standing there just outside the door, his eyes bright as he watches the two loves of his life laughing and tossing up the colorful balloons.  
Sarah kicks at them with vigor, her head thrown back in laughter at the squeaks they emit when knocked about.  
Joel looks to you, expecting the same behavior and pausing when he sees how you're now standing there looking at him with damp eyes. The balloons float between you, falling to block his eyes as you approach. 
"Joel."
"Mmm?"
"Get in here," you order gently, your finger curling around his collar as you gently tug him in encouragement. You can't move him of course, but he grins widely, nodding and stepping into the color with you. 
For a moment neither of you speaks. All you can see is Joel and the balloons that seem to surround you on all sides, the colors framing his beautiful face. You can hear Sarah's distant laughter.
Then Joel smiles in that sweet, open way of his. You look down when you feel his hand taking yours and see a diamond ring being slipped onto your fourth finger. You stare at it in amazement before your gaze meets his. In his deep brown eyes you see a future so beautiful you never could have imagined it. What you don’t know is that when Joel looks into your eyes he sees exactly the same.  
"Will you ma-"
"Yes," you breathe without letting him finish, your hands coming to either side of his jaw. He pulls you into his arms grinning before his mouth is on yours, gentle and sweet. You know that your eyes are wet and you know that on your deathbed this will be one of those moments that comes to you, comforting you. 
You pull back and look around at all the balloons, the color and you smile broadly through the tears. 
"Couldn't wait for your birthday," Joel murmurs against your cheek. "Hope that's okay."
"Yeah," you say curling your arms around his neck. "It's okay." 
You don't mind at all.
///
"Shit, did you feed the cat?"
"Daddy you said sh-"
"I know babygirl," Joel says rubbing the back of his neck as Sarah looks to him with a chastised look. "Was wrong of me. Daddy just doesn't want to find another hairball in his shoe. "
Jam, your orange tabby kitten is not really yours at all. Despite being brought home for you, Jam quickly decided that Sarah with her warm bed and shirts covered in food crumbs was a much better companion than you. You don't mind though, seeing how much Sarah loves the cat is enough for you. 
"I fed him," you say giggling as the three of you make your way up the drive. The whole gang has been invited to Frank and Bill's for a Sunday lunch. You see them quite often despite living on Rancher Street full time. 
They often encourage you to bring Sarah and you do without hesitation. She loves Bill and Frank just as much as you do. She loves painting with Uncle Frank and baking with Uncle Bill. She loves that their house smells like cinnamon in the winter and fresh flowers in the summer. 
Despite living right next door, Maria and Tommy arrive late with cornbread and lemonade, but are given a reprieve when Maria shares that she took so long getting ready because "morning sickness makes it hard to feel cute."
Joel had hugged Tommy so tightly you were sure you heard bones cracking. You had just cried, throwing your arms around Maria, careful not to squeeze. Sarah asked to feel the baby and Maria told her it was a bit too early to feel much, but she still let her niece gently stroke her swelling belly. 
"I think it's gonna be a boy," Maria told you sagely over lemonade at the table. "A mother knows."
You smile, thinking of a little mix of Maria and Tommy in the vision of a little baby boy. Your eyes sail over to Joel, watching as he chats with Jackson and Tommy. You wonder what it would be like if you had a kid. Who would it take after? 
You’re distracted by this idea when Sarah and Bill bring out the dessert, followed by Frank with the coffee. The cupcakes are decorated to resemble beautiful flowers and you all wait as Sarah picks the perfect one for each of you. A daisy for Sarah, a lily each for Auntie Maria and Uncle Tommy,  a purple rose for Daddy, a peony for Frank and a forget-me-not for Bill and finally Sarah smiles at the pink carnation she labored the longest over with Bill. Sarah immediately cites that this one belongs to you. 
"That one," Sarah says pointing, watching as Bill pushes the plated cupcake in your direction. "Do you like that one, Mama?"
Joel's hand that's been absently rubbing along your spine stills when he hears that. His attention goes to your face, seeing the way your eyes have gotten wide. Mama.
You feel your breath catch in your chest as she calls you this, her tiny face turned up and smiling at you. You don't want to embarrass her, don't want to draw attention to the fact that she's called you Mama.
She did it so casually, so naturally that a part of you is worried she didn't even realize she'd done it. If you draw attention to it you're scared there's a chance that she'll take it back. 
"I love it," you whisper, pressing a kiss to her cheek. "Thank you, bug." 
You kiss her again, feeling tears prick your eyes when Joel's hand skates to the small of your back, squeezing softly. Maria and Tommy are wet-eyed, and share a soft smile before turning their attention to their cupcakes. Frank sniffles, pretending he’s just about to sneeze. You catch Bill’s eyes across the table and when you see them glossy and that’s what makes the tears spill over your lash line.
"Why are you crying?" Sarah asks, her head cocked to the side. She can’t understand why everyone suddenly got so quiet.  
"I'm not," you insist. "Just allergies."
Sarah is satisfied or maybe just relieved with this answer and she and clamors onto the chair next to you, ready to dig into her own cupcake. She leans companionably against you, starting to tell Auntie Maria and Uncle Tommy about the class hamster.  
You feel Joel's kiss on your temple and you turn to see his eyes damp like yours. 
"Mama," you whisper to him. "I'm Mama."
////////
3 years later
Joel is at your side, whispering how strong you are, how beautiful, but all you want to do is punch him.
Hard.
"You did this to me!" You say through clenched teeth as a wave of painful cramping goes through you. Your head falls back onto the damp hospital pillow. 
"If I recall it was a very mutual decision," Joel insists with a wry smile. His mouth goes to your ear and his voice drops to a deliciously low timbre only you can hear. "The words 'fuck me pregnant' were a direct quote by you, were they not?"
You don't answer him on that. Not just because he's right, but because a stab of pain is going through your pelvis that takes your breath away. 
St. David's is a very fine hospital with very fine people but at this moment everything is not fucking fine. You feel like you've been split in half by a fucking axe. 
"Doing so good, baby," Joel croons, wiping the damp hair from your forehead and temples as he watches the doctor and nurses at your feet. "Keep going, keep going." 
For a delirious moment you think that it was Joel saying these exact words that got you pregnant in the first place and you let out a high pitched laugh as Joel looks to you in concern. 
"Push," the doctor says, breaking into your foggy brain. And so you do. As you have been doing for the last three fucking hours.
You grit your teeth, feeling Joel's mouth on your temple whispering words of encouragement and you push. You push with everything you have and then...
There is a pause and then the loud braying sound of a newborn's cry. The doctor's voice behind the mask rings out. 
"It's a girl!"
A sister for Sarah, just like she'd wanted.
A second daughter for you and Joel. 
You look over to see Joel's dark eyes shimmering with tears and you feel you've never been so in love with him as you are in this moment. You burst into tears, your face wet as Joel kisses you. 
"You're amazing," Joel whispers against your mouth. "Fucking amazing." 
The nurse brings over a pink faced infant with a shock of dark brown hair. She is pink all over and her little face is scrunched up as she wails. You take her into your arms, marveling at how you and Joel made the little creature you're now holding. She's so warm and she smells so good. 
You glance over at Joel, recalling all the nights spent with his hand curving over your belly, murmuring soft sweet things to your daughter as she grew there. You think of when you both sang together, your hand carding through his hair and his eyes on you. You remember how on the days she felt really jumpy, all it would take is Joel singing a few bars from a song and she would quiet right down.
Now Joel's finger goes to trace the slope of her tiny nose and you smile as she quiets down, grunting. Seems he has a soothing effect on her outside the womb as well.
"She's so fucking perfect."
"Hopefully she doesn't swear as much as her parents," Joel says as he presses his lips to your temple.
You giggle at that, pulling her back so you can see your daughter's sweet face. The wailing has subsided and she gives little grunts as she tries to open her eyes.  
"Hi Ellie," you coo. "We're your parents."
/////
Four years after your first meeting, Joel Miller sits across from you in the very booth you had your disastrous blind date on. It's become a sort of tongue in cheek tradition, to have you all back to where it began. 
Only this booth is far more crowded than it ever was then. A very pregnant Maria slides in next to you, looking every bit the beautiful goddess she always does. Tommy and their son slip into the opposite side beside Joel, saying their hellos. 
"They're so cute," Maria coos as she watches Sarah give Ellie a toy to play with before going back to her puzzle book.  
"Sarah loves being a big sister," you smile softly. 
"Tell that to Jackson would you?" Maria says rolling her eyes at her eldest child who is obsessed with his game boy. "He seems to think that this new baby means the beginning of the end." 
"He's been an only child for so long he doesn't want to share you," you insist. But you can't help but feel secretly lucky that your daughter's had an immediate connection. 
Even when pregnant, Sarah had talked to the baby in your belly, she'd even helped pick out her sisters name. At this moment Sarah is curled up next to you on her seat, pencil in hand and her eyes focused on her latest obsession. 
Toad has been replaced by puzzle books (though you still find him under her pillow most nights) and her new favorite color is green. She's wearing green head to toe tonight including the green barrettes in her hair. She's like a slender blade of grass with wild hair and big, hazel eyes.
And while much about Sarah has changed, she still smiles when you and her father kiss, she still wows you with knowledge beyond her years and she still plays with the ends of your hair when she's anxious or distracted. Oh and she still loves you to death. 
You sling an arm around her, your eyes on the menu before traveling up to watch Joel across from you. He's looking at Ellie in her booster seat next to him, babbling incoherently as most toddlers do. 
Ellie is a daddy's girl though and through, obsessed with Joel the minute she laid eyes on him. It's now to the point where if she starts crying most mornings you simply glance his way. He always gives a grumpy frown before you see the smile peeking through as he goes to retrieve her from her crib.
He's smiling broadly at her now, his finger tracing down her nose as she gurgles. Something he’s done since she was born. There's something about seeing Joel Miller, all broad shoulders and inherent masculinity, being so soft that makes you love him harder.
Sometimes when you're watching him play with your daughters or watching him cook you all dinner, you feel this overwhelming love for Joel that's almost incapacitating. 
He seems to sense your gaze because his eyes travel over to you. He gives you a playful wink. 
"You look great tonight," Joel says with eyes that linger on your décolletage.
"Thanks," you say taking an equally appreciative look at your husband. "You clean up pretty well yourself."
More than pretty well. Joel Miller is, as Frank had once told you, sex on legs, and you have to agree with the assessment. His linen shirt is rolled to the elbows, showing off his muscled forearms. His hair is brushed back from his face and he's wearing his glasses as he reads the menu. (Something he only does when desperate as you’d found out when living with him). 
Joel wets his lower lip without thinking, his eyes drifting back down the front of your dress. Maria and Tommy are helping Jackson decide on what to order for dinner, distracted from your end of the table.  
"You keep looking at me like that, Miller and we're gonna wind up with another kid," you murmur with a smirk, knowing Sarah's not paying attention.
"I'm not opposed to that," Joel says, his gaze heated. 
"That's because you don't have to carry or pop them out," you reply with a good-natured roll of your eyes. "Just get to do the fun part."
Joel grins as you tilt over the table to fix the bow in Ellie's hair that your mother sent you. Ellie gurgles happily at you, smacking her tiny fists on the table. Joel takes this as an opportunity to not very covertly ogle your chest. 
"Joel," you hiss, even though a smile is breaking out over your features. Joel tries to look innocently up at you, brows raised.
“Yeah baby?”
You want to be irritated, but he knows very well you love it.  
"I don't know this one, Mama," Sarah says pointing to something on the page in her puzzle book. She's normally very independent so you know she must be really stuck.  You glance over at the crossword clue.
"A six lettered spore producer," you read aloud and think for a moment. "Fungus?"
"That fits," Sarah enthuses, her pencil writing hurriedly. 
"Speaking of which, I'll have the mushroom ravioli," you say as your server comes to take your order. Joel orders his chicken penne and Sarah's spaghetti and then his hand comes to fall on yours as the server takes the rest of the orders for the table. 
His hand is heavy and warm, but that's nothing compared to the warmth of his eyes. It's the kind of look you associate with deep thinking, his "dreamy stare" as you've coined it. 
"What are you thinking about, Miller?'
"Just that I never thought I'd be married to the same woman who screamed at me in the parking lot of this very restaurant."
You giggle behind your wineglass, watching Joel's eyes go soft.  
"Or how happy I'd be."
He brings your hand up to his mouth, kissing gently. He holds you there, watching as you stare back at him with eyes so full of love you're shocked Cupid himself hasn't come to give you his job. 
You begin to smirk when Joel's dark eyes drop to your chest and then dart back to your face. 
"I was also thinking about how three is a very nice number. . ."
417 notes · View notes
seraphic-saturn · 6 months
Text
3rd House: Texting
"Hey, let's meet up tonight! I have some exciting plans. Get ready for an amazing time!" Aries in the 3rd House: You are likely to text with enthusiasm and a direct, to-the-point approach. Your messages might be energetic and spontaneous, often initiating conversations and expressing your thoughts and ideas assertively.
"Just wanted to check in and see how you're doing. Hope you're having a great day! Let me know if you need anything." Taurus in the 3rd House: You might prefer to send practical and grounded texts, focusing on comfort and material matters. Your messages could be deliberate, straightforward, and may often include expressions of affection or appreciation. "Hey, did you hear about the new restaurant downtown? I heard the food is amazing! Let's check it out together sometime."
Gemini in the 3rd House: With this placement, you are likely to text frequently, enjoying lively and engaging conversations. Your messages might be witty, informative, and versatile, often conveying a range of ideas and topics. "I've been thinking about our childhood memories a lot lately. Remember that time we went camping? Those were the best times."
Cancer in the 3rd House: You might text with a nurturing and empathetic tone, often checking in on others and expressing your emotions. Your messages could be comforting, caring, and may involve sharing personal experiences and memories. Guess what? I just got a promotion at work! I can't wait to celebrate this achievement. I knew I could do it!"
Leo in the 3rd House: You may prefer to send expressive and dramatic texts, often seeking attention and admiration. Your messages might be bold, entertaining, and enthusiastic, with a touch of creativity and flair. "Here are some tips I found that might help with your project. Let me know if you need any more advice. You've got this!"
Virgo in the 3rd House: You might text with a practical and detail-oriented approach, focusing on accuracy and organization. Your messages could be informative, precise, and may involve providing useful advice or sharing interesting facts. "I understand your point of view, and I appreciate your honesty. Let's find a solution that works for both of us. We can talk more about it later."
Libra in the 3rd House: You are likely to text with diplomacy and a desire for harmony. Your messages might be charming, polite, and often involve seeking balance and understanding in conversations, while also ensuring that everyone feels heard. "I've been reading this fascinating book about psychology. It's been really eye-opening. Let me know if you want to borrow it sometime."
Scorpio in the 3rd House: You may text with intensity and depth, often delving into meaningful and thought-provoking discussions. Your messages could be passionate, probing, and may involve sharing your insights and uncovering hidden truths. "Just booked tickets for that concert we talked about. It's going to be an unforgettable experience! Can't wait to share this adventure with you!"
Sagittarius in the 3rd House: You might prefer to send adventurous and optimistic texts, often discussing your latest endeavors and philosophical ideas. Your messages could be spontaneous, inspiring, and may involve sharing your experiences and aspirations. "I've been working hard on my new project, and it's finally coming together. I believe that staying focused is the key to success."
Capricorn in the 3rd House: You are likely to text with a practical and goal-oriented approach, often conveying your ambitions and discussing your plans. Your messages might be structured, organized, and may involve sharing your achievements and offering guidance. "Have you seen the latest documentary on climate change? It's truly thought-provoking and sheds light on some important issues we're facing."
Aquarius in the 3rd House: You may text with a unique and innovative style, often discussing unconventional and progressive ideas. Your messages could be intellectual, original, and may involve sharing your insights on various social or humanitarian issues. "I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed lately. Can we talk about it? Your perspective always helps me see things in a different light."
Pisces in the 3rd House: You might prefer to send empathetic and imaginative texts, often expressing your feelings and artistic sensibilities. Your messages could be poetic, compassionate, and may involve sharing your dreams and offering emotional support.
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transmutationisms · 3 months
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along w ur plato post uve also mentioned disliking marxist syllabi that make you go chronologically just to understand one author (ie greek philo - hegel - marx)
i was planning to go down this route this yr to combine both my long overdue dive into theory and philosophy, and i actually found this to be less overwhelming than immediately diving into say, continental philosophy or critical theory. i wonder then what other route you'd suggest for philosophy? (since for marxist theory youve pretty much alr answered it in a past ask)
are greek philosophers still "useful" to read for beginners or is it much better off to start with contemporaries? is this a case of "we've actually been doing the math curriculum wrong this entire time" or is it just personal preference. help
depends what you're trying to accomplish, but if someone's in my inbox asking how to get started reading theory or philosophy then i think it's a) unhelpful, and b) needlessly deferent to received ideas of 'canonicity', to perpetuate the notion that there's a single correct order in which to read, and it begins with the same 20 ancient greeks writing about geometrical forms and elemental tetravalence. like, it's worth remembering what's missing from a typical global north university's philosophy syllabus: perhaps most obviously, reams of islamicate scholarship and centuries of dialogue between 'western' and 'eastern' writers often suppressed in favour of a 'dark ages' narrative that just sort of jumps up to the 'renaissance'... and there are so many other, egregious, historically unjustifiable lacunae like this.
it's noble enough to want to know where an idea comes from or what its genealogical lineage is, but to try to discover this by reading through a list drawn up by classicists or philosophy departments is dangerously optimistic about the politicking that shapes and perpetuates such lists. even just reading the works that an author is openly citing or arguing with is lacking: what about, say, hegel, whose idea of freedom and enslavement developed partially in response to reading newspaper coverage of the haitian revolution? he didn't exactly announce that in the text! to read the phenomenology of spirit as merely the next intellectual step after kant is deeply distorted; for that matter, kant's own intellectual influences came not only from a supposed philosophical canon but also from the scientific and anthropological discourses underpinning his biological theory of race and defence of racism.
my issue with the "read chronologically" approach isn't that it's bad to follow a topic over a process of historical change. it's that these received lists of 'canonical' thinkers are artefacts of their own social and historical contexts, and are both produced to certain ideological ends, & then appealed to later in order to enforce and even naturalise those ideologies. if what we want is the context to understand what hegel or marx or adorno were really talking about, we need to engage with the texts as historical documents and with the histories as products of imperfect, biased, and ideologically laden human labour.
i'm not here to tell you not to read whatever you were planning to read. for one thing, sometimes the intellectual influence named in the syllabus is a useful one (there are certain questions about marx and marxian ideas that are easier to understand and answer if you have read at least a little bit of hegel). but, in the context of the overwhelming gatekeeping of knowledge, and the hegemonic use of ideas about canonicity and the 'right' way to read 'classics', if someone asks what they need to do in order to read xyz, i'm pretty much never going to default to "start by reading plato". read things that are interesting to you, however old they are; read about their authors; make liberal use of online resources like the SEP if you need a crash-course on certain concepts or jargon. you certainly don't need to be afraid of reading one text to better understand another. i just don't think you need to be beholden to that mode of reading, either, especially not in a context where the common wisdom on whose work belongs in such a genealogy is predicated on centuries of colonial and imperial scholarship and disseminated by institutions structurally positioned to defend the idea of an enlightened and ennobling western intellectual tradition.
in a certain twisted way, these 'standard' (to whom?) or 'traditional' (since when?) reading lists are often presented as the shortcut to the 'correct' understanding of landmark texts or authors—only, this is a 'shortcut' that considers ideas as disembodied from their real contexts, relating only to one another in an intellectual realm and developing in more or less linear fashion often to some teleological end; and, by dint of the sheer amount of material involved, it's also a 'shortcut' that many people will never actually traverse. i don't have an inherent problem with reading chronologically. i just don't automatically defer to these kinds of syllabi, and i think dethroning them could do us all a lot of good.
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chase-prairie · 9 months
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I'm guessing that as a graduate student you have read a zillion and one documents and books and papers and things in your field. Would it be outrageous to ask for recommendations/your favorites? I'm really interested in learning more about the history of Native land use and food systems in the midwest (which I suppose is a very long history, I'd be happy learning about any time period), prairie ecology, and the current outlook for native plants and pollinators (and conservation recommendations). Even one recc for each would be amazing. Feel free to postpone this ask if you're too busy! P.S. can't wait to read your dissertation.
This is a big ask, and I get a lot of these types of asks! In the future it'd be nice if people were more specific about their interests and not asking about general, huge topics. There's a level that you can and should be googling yourself! Many academic papers are online for free through sites like academia.edu and I'm not a search engine!
General answer if you're interested in this range of topics is Robin Wall Kimmerer's Braiding Sweetgrass. She comes from the midwest and writes some on prairie and the book is all about Indigenous science stewardship.
Otherwise, the topics you're asking for don't have one single source that will tell you everything you're looking for. People make small studies of one community, one ecosystem, one plant. Whether it's ecology or ethnobotany, there's no one making compendiums of info, especially not in the midwest. That's why I do the work I do, but even what I do is imperfect. Be suspicious of anyone who/any text that claims to be comprehensive on a huge, complex subjects; they probably are bsing you.
Indigenous Land Mgmt:
Two good recent papers:
The subject of indigenous wild management is more intensely covered in California (M. Kat Anderson) and Vancouver (Nancy J. Turner). Those two authors are great for both nuts and bolts chat and philosophical perspectives about how people have lived in and altered and restored their ecosystems.
A compelling academic book on the subject is Roots of Our Renewal: Ethnobotany and Cherokee Environmental Governance by Clint Carroll, which is just as much about philosophy, knowledge production and protection and community building, as plants.
Prairie Conservation Practices:
Like I said above, currently published stuff is about very specific interactions and focuses, like a particular pollinator group in a particular plant. What you're looking for, a generalist summary of the field, doesn't really exist.
If you're looking for plant lists and how-tos Tallgrass Restoration Handbook or the Tallgrass Prairie Center Guide. Do not go for Ben Voigt. If you're looking for a general conceptual entry to Midwest conservation/restoration, there's Ecological Restoration in the Midwest
If you're looking for general recommendations for free, Xerces.org is the resource for bee-friendly landscaping and planting.
If you live near a University or Arboretum or Botanic Garden, this is the kind of thing where you should just browse the shelves near the books I've recommended! Chances are you have free access to the libraries, if not the ability to check the books out yourself!
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percheduphere · 4 months
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So...Thoughts on the whole people thinking Sylvie is Aro-Ace? I can kinda see her being Aromantic, but with her mentioning she's more "hedonistic" than Loki and silently hinting that she's Bi too, can't really see her as Asexual. But what do you think?
LET'S TALK ABOUT SYLVIE'S SEXUALITY, HER RELATIONSHIPS WITH LOKI AND MOBIUS, & HER CONTRIBUTIONS TO THE SERIES NARRATIVE
Before I answer this, I think it's important to acknowledge that fictional characters exist for people's comfort and pleasure. I write original fiction, and I would hope that most artists believe in the right of the audience to interpret character to meet their personal needs. To me, canon is a sandbox. Everyone should play with it as they please and not hate on each other. There are more important things in life to worry about. Therefore, if Sylvie reads as Aro-Ace to you and that reading brings you joy, then she is.
This question inherently requires the need to talk about Sylki in this post. I predominantly analyze Lokius, so please, no hate! My number one rule is never yucking someone's yum. Furthermore, Sylvie plays a critical role in Loki's development and the philosophical thrust of the series, of which Mobius also contributes to as the other half of Loki's character arc equation (selflessness and sparing life [Mobius] + free will and revolution [Sylvie]). It would be biased and disingenuous to not acknowledge her contributions to the overarching narrative.
ARO-ACE INTERPRETATION
All right, your question! I can definitely can see Sylvie as being aro-ace. That's a legitimate interpretation based on how she responds to Loki's flirtation and romantic advances. It is also possible that she's an aromantic bisexual. This second possibility is more likely based on the text the audience is given.
THE CANON TEXT
Having said that, I think you're curious about what the source material is trying to say about Sylvie's character and how that influences her sexuality. I believe it's important to remember that external behavior doesn't dictate how someone defines themselves. Closeting and disengagement from intimacy because of trauma are prime examples of this.
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The train scene in S1E4 reads as earnest. Loki and Sylvie are both very lonely characters. In this moment, both are trying to connect with someone who finally understands them because they are the same. It's actually a lovely nod to the queer experience.
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The dialogue, lighting, and costuming (blue, purple, pink) in this scene communicates they are both queer, specifically bisexual. The lighting and costuming combining to represent the bisexual pride flag is an example of queer subtext in film. The dialogue, while direct, is also written in such a way that it avoids explicitly stating "men and women." Sylvie later comments that the brief flings she indulges in during apocalypses helped her "keep going". She even specifies that apocalypses make people desperate. This suggests that Sylvie likely didn't need to do much wooing or charming like Loki would to obtain a sexual partner. Finally, the way Tom and Sophie play this scene is vulnerable. I therefore believe we can take this on-screen admission at face value.
So the question becomes, why does Sylvie respond to Loki's flirtations the way she does?
SYLVIE'S BACKGROUND
Sylvie was orphaned and forced to run all her life from a very young age. Her backstory is deeply tragic. To live in such a way means that she never had the opportunity to experience adolescence.
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NOTE: This is honestly my favorite gif of Sylvie. She's so sweet and cute when she's happy. I can't get over the 5 stars on her employee badge. "Sylvie, can you refill the straws?" "Already did it!" The sweetheart.
Sylvie working at McDonald's accomplishes two things: it allows Disney to fulfill their advertising sponsorship agreement for the fast-food franchise, and it subtly alludes to Sylvie's need to live the adolescence she didn't get to. The TVA forced her into arrested development. She never had the chance to make friends and safely socialize on her own terms. The centuries of trauma have made trust, let alone romance, completely foreign to her.
Which is why, when Loki and Sylvie have romantic scenes, she is often awkward or, if not unreceptive, wary. Her previous flings, as she agrees with Loki, were "never real". Physical intimacy without emotional intimacy is a familiar dynamic for both characters. Their relationship with one another is their first experience of emotional intimacy (or at least attempt at it) outside of their families. The pursuit of this emotional intimacy feels safe to them because they are the same entity and thus they know each other's base nature (versus nurture!) to some degree.
The difference between them is that Sylvie has not experienced social rejection in the way Loki has (nurture!). She recognizes the wrongness with which the TVA has treated her. She knows the absolute atrocities the TVA has committed. She is determined to destroy them to free herself and all timelines. Sylvie is consequently more self-assured, more confident in what she wants and believes in, than Loki. In S2, Sylvie's clarity on desire is what allows her to help Loki articulate what he wants: his friends back, most especially Mobius.
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In S1E1, Loki, still posturing before Mobius, describes himself as a "liberator". At this point in the story, we know that isn't true, but it will become true by the finale. This line of dialogue foreshadows Loki's trajectory as well as Sylvie's revealed motivation in S1E4: to liberate.
THE NEXUS EVENT
There are a variety of ways for viewers to interpret what exactly the Nexus Event was. The canon, within the text of Mobius's dialogue and verbal confirmation from the creators, is that Loki and Sylvie fell in love. Now, I'm not going to spend time arguing over other interpretations here, but I will say that regardless of whatever pairing or OT3 a viewer ships, the Nexus Event was ALSO definitively this: two Lokis in the same place, at the same time, not feeling lonely together.
And Sylvie, who had confessed to Loki she has no friends and has never really experienced joy, answers Renslayer with the number of positive memories she has:
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Sylvie doesn't state it outright, but the subtext is clear that her one positive memory was her time with Loki on Lamentis. Indeed, moments later, Sylvie prunes herself in an effort to find and rescue him.
SYLVIE & MOBIUS
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But being the harshly pragmatic individual she is, upon arrival and encountering Alioth, Sylvie assumes Loki didn't make it. I don't think Sylvie means what she says in a cruel way. I think she believes this because she is accustomed to disappointment and accordingly guards herself with cynicism. Sylvie's traumas, her difficulty with trust, her inexperience with intimate relationships, and her cynicism all combine to create an individual who may appear aro-ace when that may not necessarily be the case. Please note, however, that Sylvie being aro-ace or aro-bisexual may still be a possibility. My analysis here is based on what the text and subtext seem to be telling us about her character.
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Notably, it is Mobius who is more optimistic about Loki's survival, wondering if Sylvie truly believes that Loki is dead.
This moment is brief, but it is significant because Mobius's optimism implies that not only does he believe in Loki, he also wants Loki to be alive. Sylvie is intelligent. She can read between the lines. We can also assume an off-screen conversation took place between them that confirmed for Sylvie Mobius's genuine care for Loki. When Sylvie informs Loki of this fact, I believe we get this:
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Mobius was conservative in how Loki might interpret their relationship, extending a handshake before their goodbyes. Loki, on the heels of his conversation with Sylvie, chooses to hug him instead. The result: Mobius is delighted!
I've long pondered on why Mobius would say, "You're my favorite" to Sylvie. I believe this is why: she helped along their friendship and opened the gates for physical affection between them. This demonstrates that Sylvie cares enough for Loki to ensure he is secure in his bond with Mobius. It likely helped that Mobius did not deny the TVA's evil when she pointed it out to him, and that he did not hesitate to apologize to her for it.
Ironically, it is Mobius's optimism, especially in the potential of broken things to become something better (whether it is Loki himself or the TVA), that creates the fraught philosophical divide between Sylvie and Mobius (and Loki) with regards to the TVA in S2.
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THE S1 FINALE
The S2 finale is where the narrative between Loki and Sylvie turns, and the plot pivots to the deepening relationship between Loki and Mobius. Triggering this event is Loki's desire to slow down and think about the consequences of killing HWR in the Citadel at The End of Time.
This may seem out-of-character at first glance. S1E1-E4 have demonstrated that Loki's decision making is sometimes chaotic by virtue of impulse. What was the last impulsive decision he made with heavy consequences?
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He ran off after Sylvie. A good decision ultimately, as Loki learns the truth about the TVA through Sylvie, but only by luck. This decision very nearly cost Loki a friendship, one he didn't even realize he had until Mobius called him a "bad friend."
Despite the fallout, Mobius recovers relatively quickly once he confirms Loki's claims and views Ravonna's recording of C-20. He reestablishes trust with Loki as soon as possible to help Loki be with the one he loves. Why? Because Mobius is ultimately selfless and wants Loki's happiness regardless of his own feelings of jealousy.
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Which circles us back to the theme of trust and Sylvie's challenges with it.
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Loki and Sylvie's relationship falls apart not because of lack of mutual interest, but because Sylvie loses trust in Loki and with good reason: HWR (and thus the TVA) is the cause of all her suffering.
It is not Sylvie's fault she is this way. She hasn't had enough time to develop meaningful relationships, and the one relationship that was meaningful to her (Loki's) became, in her eyes, a profound betrayal. This experience only adds to the other traumas Sylvie carries with her, making encounters with Loki in S2 emotionally difficult if not triggering.
The relationships of Loki & Sylvie and Loki & Mobius are intentionally set side-by-side for 3 critical reasons:
1.) To demonstrate Loki's growth by developing trust and thus emotional intimacy with others.
2.) To create the Plot B emotional source of conflict in S2.
3.) To set-up Mobius and Sylvie's individual beliefs and values (selflessness and sparing life [Mobius] + free will and revolution [Sylvie]), which Loki combines into his own system of beliefs and values. This combination gives Loki the strength and wisdom to ascend the throne and become the God of Stories (and Time).
THE S2 FINALE
Loki comes to his final decision after speaking with the two halves of his character arc equation. Loki first seeks out Mobius, who shares with him the distinction between himself and Ravonna. Now, this is brainwashed Mobius. Brainwashed Mobius believed Ravonna could do the impossible while he couldn't. But Loki knows Ravonna's corruption.
Beneath Mobius's wisdom that "most purpose is more burden than glory" is also Mobius's heart: he could not prune children and that instinct was the right decision. His "failure" was not a failure of duty but rather his humanity succeeding despite the brainwashing. It's this same intrinsic compassion that drove Mobius to convince Ravonna to spare Loki. Loki articulates this to Don as such. He therefore takes the message of selflessness and sparing life from Mobius to Sylvie.
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Sylvie, in turn, challenges Loki, stating they should have the freedom and right to fight whatever comes on their own terms.
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She also stresses that it is all right to destroy things. Upon hearing this, Loki comes to the conclusion that what is destroyed must be replaced with something better. What needs to be destroyed? Not the TVA and the people in it (not Mobius, Verity, OB, and Casey), but the Loom.
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Loki sacrificed himself (selflessness + sparing life [Mobius]) in order to save all timelines (free will + revolution [Sylvie]). Loki sparing Sylvie's life is a direct consequence of Mobius having fought to spare his.
Through this sacrifice, Loki gifts Sylvie the chance to get the type of positive experiences she wants and needs, which includes future romance, if she so chooses. That is canon and is a genuinely romantic gesture regardless of anyone's interpretation of mutual reciprocation or lack thereof.
It is also canon that Loki loves Mobius and Mobius loves Loki. Their actions for one another across both seasons demonstrate this to be true. Is it also romantic? Absolutely. Is it sexual? On screen, no, and it doesn't have to be. Romance does not require sex, let alone physical contact, to exist.
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Loki loves them both.
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pocketwei · 4 months
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hii do you perhaps have any dofuwani fics recommendation. I've checked out the the ao3 but I really don't seem to like anything there after scrolling thru the most kudos'd works... I feel like you (and a few other artists) get them and I wanted to read things in a similar tone as your art and so far I'm in the trenches bleeding out. like obviously no offense to any of the writers it's just that all the like modern highschool loving dad croc and etc aus are not for me... OTL I hope I'm not sounding rude and thank you for your time!
oh anon come rest your head upon my bosom.... I got you anon..... as a fellow slave to canon-compliance I, too, know the pain of sifting through pages upon pages of AUs, not that there's anything wrong with them but I just can't imagine these sickos working a 9 to 5 in a suit...... thank you for thinking my vision of dofuwani is trust-worthy, this is vain on my part but it genuinely means a lot <3 OK rant over here are the goods, in no particular order (always mind the tags but I figure if you asked me for dfwn sacred texts you're probably a fellow sicko):
that was now and this is then. by ghostwit (M): one of my favourite ever, perhaps even my favourite. About a long relationship, about twisting each other inside the skin, about being formative to each other in ways so deep and intertwined that they can't seem to tear one apart from the other. And despite it all* (*the murders and the hatred and the irreconciliable flaws and differences of their Ego (philosophical) and the unbearable, unacceptable vulnerability of understanding), they are, somehow, unforgivably and incomprehensibly, in love. *smashes head against pavement, it cracks open like an egg, spilling millions of dofuwani thoughts everywhere
no better irony by ghostwit (E): shichibukai meeting sidequest...... excellent characterisation like everything Haze writes (it's just The Best dofuwani there is..... read everything he wrote please). I'm so fond of them in that fic in a way that's like. watching stick bugs in a terrarium. You don't understand them and they don't understand you but you're just happy they're having fun. You wouldn't join in for anything in the world though.
like i need a gaping headwound by ghostwit (M): loguetown era dfwn, Haze back at it with formative years and the fresh sprouts of insanity in these two. So so so good.
nothing in this world that's quite prescribable by ghostwit (T): the opening of this fic is perhaps one of my favourite scenes ever. Vulnerability and odd transparence that only drunken disinhibition allows. Which is rare for these two. Absolutely adore this one.
honestly you can and should read everything Haze has written for these two they're just so AUGHHHHHH
black & bloody & rotten & perfect by revolvermonkcelot (M): perfect capture of the fine line between (????love, perhaps) and insanity they walk on. Absolutely fucking insane about this one, the reverence and sacrality of their whole thing, the Indulgence:tm: and permission that can be revoked (for Crocodile is mercurial in his vulnerability), but that is somehow maintained in a delicate and incomprehensible equilibrium. + absolutely incredible undertones of wani (trans)identity crisis, the imperceptible yet meaningful and constant change of the Form... Head in hands
Just a taste by marimoes (M): perfect perfect perfect characterisation, little gestures that betray familiarity. Perfect on all accounts
Swallow by revolvermonkcelot (M): my roman empire. Absolutely perfect Wani characterisation, it's The Wani for me. Exploits perfectly the essential dfwn dichotomy of "one entity tumbling down and the other rising up, meeting halfway through in the eye of the storm, in a singular moment". Classy cannibalism that ties to the no-less essential concept of consumption, to be/become whole again. The reason why they somehow stick together is because of this primordial longing for something, for understanding perhaps, for beauty sometimes, for belonging. Fcuking hell I love them so mucj
A Bird and His Cage by doctornemesis (E): read this one a long time ago but it's in my bookmarks so I trust past me's judgment and tell you it's amazing
From Dressrosa with Love by Sibilans (E, on-going): incredible atmosphere, perfectly depicts the post-golden age rotting glamour of Dressrosa. They are particularly unhinged in this one.
i wanna hurt you just to hear you screaming my name by stealth-black-leg (Kiir_Bee) (E): I'm running out of steam for long meaningful comments but this one has top tier characterisation.
That's it!! Don't forget to comment and leave kudos to give writers the love they deserve <3
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thedaythatwas · 16 days
Text
TW: Hegel.
So, what’s up with Shuake and dialectics? Click below to watch this user (who is not a philosopher) give this (frankly too invested) analysis a shot!
Something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately is the fact that most– but not all– of Joker’s confidant routes involve some sort of transaction. Joker does something for someone, Joker gets a favor in return. Joker’s identity revolves around what he can do for others. He’s got a different mask (haha game mechanic is narrative device etc.) for everyone in his life. 
Getting a little bit in my head about this led me to a (not-all-that-novel) realization: Akechi’s confidant route is largely non-transactional. Sure, he says that he wants to meet with you to talk about the Phantom Thieves, but that more or less directly translates to just wanting to hang out with you. The “favor” that you're doing for Akechi, if we follow the logic of some of the other confidant routes, is spending time with him. (Which is of course also about getting close to Joker for metaverse recon purposes… But I’d argue that amounts to more or less the same thing in the long run anyway). Really, that’s what your relationship with him is, up until you realize the heart he needs you to change is actually one of the big-bads of the game. And at that point… Well… 
Where am I going with this? I’ve also been thinking a lot about Hegel (I’ve seen some really fun posting about Akechi and Hegel on here this past week– thank you philosophy P5R tumblr!). Akechi’s paraphrasing of Hegel goes a little something like “advancement cannot occur without both thesis and antithesis.” Hilariously, this is how he frames his desire to talk to you more, his flirting is just like me forreal I understand him etc. etc. BUT! The interesting thing here is that the game is cueing you to view your relationship with Akechi through the lens of Hegel’s dialectics.
More on that to follow, but first, I want to plug the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy’s page on Hegel’s Dialectics here– If you haven’t used it before, SEP is a reliable, peer-reviewed source. It’s great. I use it like. All the time. It’s good for getting the gist of big ideas when you don’t have time to read full texts. (Also if I get any of this wrong please know that philosophy is not my field and I’m totally open to constructive criticism.)
Hegel’s dialectical process revolves around three key moments: the moment of understanding, the dialectical moment, and the speculative moment. These moments can also be referred to as thesis, antithesis, and synthesis. The moment of understanding, thesis, is the point at which an idea is seemingly stable. In the dialectical moment, antithesis, this idea “sublates” itself– the idea is challenged and destabilized because an inherent contradiction in the idea has been made apparent–importantly, part of the idea is preserved. The speculative moment, synthesis, negates the contradiction. A new idea takes form, containing elements of the original idea that was sublated (Marx’s theory of history, anyone?) 
This process continues on and on. Ideas naturally reveal their contradictions, are destabilized, and resolve their contradictions through the creation of a new idea, which is challenged again. This is because the dialectical moment does not come from outside an idea. Antithesis is not an external push against thesis, but rather, the moment when thesis is forced into instability because of its own tightly-bound restriction. 
So back to what I was saying. The game kicks off your relationship with Akechi with a nod to, uh, all of that. Could this be a throwaway comment? Of course! But it’s much more fun to work under the assumption that it isn’t. So bear with me. Akechi is framing himself and Joker as thesis and antithesis. What does that mean? Why do I think it has something to do with Akechi and Joker’s relationship being non-transactional?
Previously, I’ve thought that in the context of their relationship, Akechi represented thesis, and Joker antithesis. This isn’t exactly true (at least per the criteria above) but I do think I was on the right track. 
At the beginning of his story, we can think of Akechi’s worldview as thesis. The world is a stage, and he is a performer. His entire life is dedicated to destroying Shido. It’s a key narrative element of P5 that Akechi doesn’t have confidant relationships (as contrasted by Joker, who has many confidants and becomes stronger through building up those bonds). He views himself as deceiving literally everyone in his life for his goals– his “fans,” his father, the Phantom Thieves. He doesn’t trust, because to him, trust is failure. 
Still, he’s starving for approval, and not just from Shido. You can see the inherent conflict between his desires and beliefs in just about every interaction he has with Joker, particularly those where Akechi overshares about his past. He desperately wants someone to hear him. I don’t think his (primary) aim in that was to strategically win Joker’s trust by showing vulnerability– if that was all he was going for, I doubt Akechi would have been so honest. He omitted information, sure, but he gave Joker the honest-to-god broad strokes of his childhood.  
When Joker comes into his life, Akechi comes to realize that his stable worldview might be wrong. Watching Joker and the rest of the Phantom Thieves reveals the cracks in his own internal logic. Joker has friendships and he is stronger because of them. When Akechi sacrifices himself for the Phantom Thieves on Shido’s ship, we see his moment of synthesis. If Akechi really still internalized all of what he said in his “Teammates? Friends? To hell with that!” monologue, he wouldn’t trust Joker to change Shido’s heart in his stead. To be clear– he probably would have reached this point with or without Joker’s intervention. Joker just happens to push Akechi towards self-sublation a little bit faster.
In Royal, we see a new iteration of Akechi. He doesn’t really regret his actions, and he is still very distinctly Akechi, but we can see that his original perception of the world has made a shift. He is willing to team up with Joker. While he may not place a great deal of faith in all of the PTs, he certainly has real trust in the protagonist. He’s learned that he can be recognized (dare I say loved?) without being perfect, and accordingly, his driving desire for approval has been displaced by his desire to never be so completely under anyone else’s control again.
But ok— that’s kind of an old take. Perhaps a hotter one: I’d also like to propose that Akechi does the same for Joker. 
As mentioned above, Joker’s identity for most of the game is defined by what he can do for the people around him. While a large part of this has to do with the fact that he is a playable character, this is a game, and a game needs to have things for you to do– it wouldn’t be very fun otherwise– it also seems pretty clear that this is part of his characterization. Joker is selfless to a fault. Like Akechi, he is a wildcard who can take on multiple personas. Unlike Akechi, instead of having a handful of personas directly linked to the core of his character development, Joker has as many personas as you want him to. He literally has a mask for every situation. You can equip a persona of the correct arcana to level up your relationships faster– a game mechanic, but also, an interesting meta statement about how Joker bonds with his confidants.
In Royal, however, Joker has the option to do something for himself. His greatest wish isn’t for someone else's happiness– it’s to have Akechi back, for selfish reasons, I would argue. Joker can sacrifice reality to keep him in his life, and depending on the actions you choose to take, sometimes, he does.
Loving Akechi teaches Joker to be selfish. This is especially poignant when you think of how adamantly opposed Akechi is to staying in Maruki's reality. Giving up the true reality to keep Akechi is a wholly selfish act on Joker's part, nothing altruistic about it. And if he doesn't make that choice? Well, don't forget about how Joker spent his wish.
He would have learned how to do this without Akechi– one tends to realize that neverending self-sacrifice is unsustainable sooner rather than later. Again, Akechi just pushes Joker towards effecting that self-sublation a little faster.
By spending time with Joker, Akechi learns that there are people he can truly trust. By spending time with Akechi, Joker learns how to put himself first. Their confidant relationship from this perspective is not only transactional, it’s actually one of the most transactional relationships in the game. Joker actively impacts how Akechi sees himself and the world around him, and vice versa. Their relationship is profoundly transformative for the both of them. To paraphrase Akechi, advancement cannot occur without both thesis and antithesis.
But also, we can forget dialectics for a second. Even without a fun analytical lens, Akechi’s confidant route centers two misunderstood people who find understanding in each other. That’s enough for me!
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mydetheturk · 9 months
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ive been trying to come up with a way to talk about my take on The Argument, but honesty i can't get past these pages where Wolfwood shoots Rai-Dei. there are four panels on this two page spread, and no words, but god there's so much said in it. i keep flipping back and forth between it and the next page like "holy shit wolfwood. holy shit wolfwood." like. like we know. we've known since volume two of trigun that wolfwood was one of the GHG. we've known! this is knowledge that we have had for multiple volumes.
i literally cannot get over the expression on wolfwood's face in the pages leading up to their fight (and this expression lingers through their fight, mind you)
like
hellO????
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like!!! this is the start of their argument!!! wolfwood cannot let vash die. and if he has to kill to do it he's going to kill to do it. vash is supposed to suffer. he cannot suffer if he's dead.
and this is the lead up to their argument. they have such philosophical differences about life, Vash believing every life is precious and that everyone can change, where Wolfwood's convinced that people won't. he thinks Vash is foolish - is naive for not taking the GHG seriously. Wolfwood wants - Wolfwood needs - to know Vash is taking this seriously, is prepared to kill if Vash wants to keep everyone else alive.
Wolfwood needs to know Vash is prepared for the shit Wolfwood knows - or suspects, if he doesn't know off hand - Legato is going to send.
hence this panel.
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(yes i did just straight up copy the alt text from the post i made about being unable to cope with this panel. it ruins me.)
And then Vash reads him for fucking filth.
Vash's heart is breaking for Wolfwood, who cannot see a way out of the grave he's dug. Vash doesn't want to kill but he's broken for the way Wolfwood cannot see any other way to survive.
Like. the whole of page 106 hurts, but the way the Overhaul translated these panels is. Oof.
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(the Dark Horse translation differs. Vash's speech reads: You... told me back then... that my face looked better with a real smile. If you could see yourself through my eyes now... You'd see a man forcing himself to play the Devil while his own heart cries out.
It's a little more poetic, but both of the statements cut Wolfwood to the core.)
They're talking past one another! they care so much about one another but their love languages differ so hard. (and i don't even mean this in a shipping way tho you could take it that way)
Augh. They're idiots. We'll see later that Wolfwood knows what Vash is, because of his experiences with Knives. (Wolfwood was there when Knives got reborn, after all) and he's seen Vash fight. He just. Doesn't know if Vash can kill one to save the many. (The start of their first fight in Stampede, their first true fight, is because Wolfwood shoots Rollo/Monev the Gale. Vash asks why. Wolfwood says its out of mercy.)
Anyway, there's some other really good meta about this fight (@needle-noggins has a nice breakdown of it) and if/when I find the posts I'll drop links in the comments/reblog with them.
I'll also upload what i could figure out of the transcript when I read through their argument in order to figure out how i was even going to talk about it to google docs and drop the link to that in the comments as well.
If you're still here, idk, Vash read Wolfwood for filth in front of God and everybody, which in this case was an empty town, Rai-Dei's corpse, and Zazie, who's been watching them for who knows how long at this point.
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nicosraf · 3 months
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quite certain you've probably had this ask before and have answered it but what books/specific sections of the bible do you recommend reading for angel research? and are there any good websites/other sources/other religious texts outside of the bible?
Hello!
Off the top of my head, I would say the biblical books that are more angel-related than others are Genesis, Ezekiel, Job, Revelation.... hmmm I would say the gospels tend to mention angels being physically present quite a bit too — like when Jesus leaves the desert and the angels run to comfort him (very cute of them btw). And, of course, you might want to take a look at the Book of Enoch.
One non-Bible source I remember very well is The City of God by Saint Augustine, specifically Book 11. For a secondary source on Augustine, I highly recommend Augustine's Theology of Angels by Elizabeth Klein.
I like Augustine's stuff in general, and I personally try to look for angel mentions in theological/philosophical work before Pseudo-Dionysius the Areopagite's Celestial Hierarchy (which took over western christian angel understanding). I do still recommend reading Celestial Hierarchy mostly because it's what you're going to find in every single angel-focused book/site.
I don't really have website recs for that above reason but I do make use of Christian q&a sites a lot because they tend to stick very strictly to what the Bible says and I like knowing what the contemporary consensus tends to be about angels for Christians.
Also, I really like to crawl along JSTOR and I'd really like to set up a list of my favorite articles to share, but it'll take a while. I really recommend reading a source — for example, Thomas Heywood's The Hierarchie of the Blessed Angells, which I quite like – then looking it up on JSTOR to understand what the historical context behind it is and what it might be responding to (researching Heywood's book is what made me see why the 9-level angel hierarchy concept has been so persistent in angelology).
One JSTOR paper I'll go ahead and link now is this one about angel Lucifer's beauty that I like very much.
Anyway, I swear one day I'll have a very neat organized database of sources......... I Swear.
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myangelhaven · 10 months
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This is my recommendations of JISUNG fics! It will be updated once in a while for new stories I have read. Hopefully the links work (lemme know if it doesnt)
Credits to the authors!! All informations written are taken from the authors' post and has not been modified. Reminder that some fics are NOT for minors, so please read the key and avoid 18+ contents.
HAPPY READING!!
KEY:
[❀]: fluff [𖤓]: angst [☄]: sad [☾]:smut [⟡]:smau [✮]: my favs
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˖⁺‧₊˚ ˚₊‧⁺˖✮-------------JISUNG--------------✮˖⁺‧₊˚ ˚₊‧⁺˖
ONESHOT
ten things han jisung says when he thinks you’re asleep by @soobnny [❀] NEW
Rule breakers by @ppiri-bahng [❀][𖤓][suggestive][pining] NEW
reader isn’t the angel everyone thinks they are
A perfect disaster by @jae-bummer [❀] NEW
Your bias confesses through text message while sitting next to you.
Red-handed by @straykeedz [❀][☾][fwb] 1.2k NEW
Han Jisung pounding into reader over the kitchen counter and getting caught by Lee Know and/or Bang Chan.
Not that innocent by @straykidshoe [❀][☾] 1.3k NEW
Seven minutes in heaven with the music major, the [by all that mattered] rumoured virgin. You assumed that you would need to teach him how to do everything- and if not that, then leave the stuffy closet needy and wet. But what happened is much different
You're still a traitor by @skzonthebrain [𖤓][☄][nonreciprocal pining][fwb] 1.4k NEW
"He broke the rule of not sleeping with anyone else, but you broke the rule of not falling for each other."
the accuracy of philosophical aphorisms by @skazoo [❀][crack][vampireau] 2.6k NEW
ok, you're tired, but you're sure those two floating, glowing, red orbs(?) are staring right at you.
Talking body by @hyungszn [❀][𖤓][ratedM][mutualpining] 2.8k NEW
The downfall of womankind (read: you) is a trim waist, tan skin, and a delectable belly button.
You Lose If You Get It First by @jinxhallows [❀][☾][idolau] 3.2k NEW
The heat by @hwanghyunjinenthusiast [❀][☾][✮][aphrodisiac] 3.6k NEW
When your roommate brings home a bag of strange cookies, you two don't think much of it. Assuming whoever sold them to him was lying about them containing an aphrodisiac. You both quickly come to realise that you were very, very incorrect.
The night we met by @jisungsjheekies [❀][𖤓][soulmateau] 3.6k NEW
Soulmate connection: born with a tattoo of the date you first meet your soulmate - Y/N’s is 22/09/19
It's a scream, BABY! by @tyunphoria [𖤓][☾][✮][ghostface] 3.7k
when you thought you finally escaped that psycho who calls himself ghostface . . . think again. he always finds you.
Lucid dream by @changbeanie [❀][𖤓][vampireau] 4.7k NEW
You keep on having the same dreams about the same person every night. What happens when the boy in your dreams is the new kid in town?
Resurrected by @changbeanie [❀][𖤓][☄][zombieapocalypseau] 4.2k
In the year 2193, humans are in threat of extinction. In order to preserve what is left of humanity, the government set up a sanctuary. However one day, you found yourself in one of the restricted areas. What will happen to you now? Are zombies really what people claim them to be?
Bad guy by @jl-micasea-fics [𖤓][☾][fwb] 4.4k
He’s the classic bad boy, the one you shouldn’t want but can’t get enough of. It’s only too late you realise, you should have listened to the words of warning from your brother.
Rebound by @yoongihan [❀][☾][✮] 5k NEW
Recently broken up with and cheated on, you decide to go to your first frat party and see what is so appealing about sex with a stranger.
Hopelessly devote by @straylightdream [❀][𖤓][☾][wolfau][f2l][mutual pining] 5.7k NEW
his life changed unexpectedly and he’s attempting to cope with the inner turmoil he faces as he accepts the beast living inside him.
Glow by @j-0ne25 [❀][☾][bff's brother][frenemies][substances] 7.3k NEW
It’s finally time to celebrate your birthday and the atmosphere is beyond belief – until your best friend’s annoying little brother shows up, having one specific plan on his to-do list: you.
Acquainted by @ch4nb4ng [❀][𖤓][☾][e2l][fwb] 7.7k
Jisung was the repulsive, totally arrogant drag racer from your area. You were the mechanic aways willing to fix his bike, but that wasn't the only interactions the two of you had shared.
The bet by @chvnnie [☾][3some] 8.2k
hyunjin and jisung make a bet. the prize? you.
On my mind by @staytheword [❀][𖤓][☾][✮][roommatesau][mutual pining] 8.6k NEW
You and Jisung are stressed over your upcoming exams. You need to clear your heads, but you can't find anything that works. That is, until Jisung suggests watching porn together.
Public display of affection by @bugeater101 [❀][𖤓][☾][✮][e2l] 8.7k
You hated Han Jisung. Despite being one of numerous students in a prestigious academy, it felt like he was the only student who challenged your intellect. And it annoyed the hell out of you. He was just as smart, just as talented, and just as competitive—but he didn’t put in a single ounce of work to get where he was. The worst thing about him? The fact that you were wildly attracted to him. 
Catfish...? By @seungminheart [☾][rockstarau] 9.2k
What is more embarrassing than matching on Tinder with a catfish pretending to be rockstar Han Jisung, number one heartthrob of the decade? Probably discovering that the catfish isn't a catfish and actually is, in fact, rockstar Han Jisung. Whoops.
Alien by @j-0ne25 [❀][𖤓][☾][chf2l][fakedatingau][alien/demonau] 10.9k NEW
Spawned at the age of thirteen—on his mission as a spy on planet earth—Jisung is made to build a bond with a human, quickly developing a tie of friendship and trust. On his 25th birthday, he is supposed to bring said creature to his home. But there’s a problem—by now, he has fallen hopelessly in love with you and there’s only one way to escape the awful mission: you need to return those hopeless feelings.
Lover, lover, set me free by @hanniiesuckle17 [❀][𖤓][✮][badboyau][bet][povswitch] 13k NEW
Jisung is one of the biggest players on campus. When Hyunjin bets him that he can’t get into the coldest girl on campus’s pants, Y/n gets unknowingly thrown into the ordeal. While doing his best, Jisung unconsciously starts to fall for this girl who means more to him that he is willing to admit to anyone- even himself. 
Volcano by @astraystayyh [❀][𖤓][✮][e2l][slowburn] 13.2k NEW
you've never gotten along with han, your mutual prejudices ruining any prospect of friendship between you both. but you slowly realize that you are more similar than what you originally thought- your darkness recognizing his, and his light yearning for yours.
"I'll take care of you. It's rotten work. Not to me, not if it's you."
SERIES
Your Lover Who Will Never Change by @thepixelelf [❀][𖤓][soulmateau] 16 parts (written)
A soulmate story told in moments.
Sunshine by @svngbins [❀][𖤓][⟡] 19 parts
y/n’s only secret is that she’s in love with her childhood best friend, jisung. the only problem? y/n’s other best friend, aerin, has a not-so-secret crush on jisung.
Don't shoot me by @staysuki [❀][𖤓][⟡][✮] 25 parts
two detectives go head to head in a battle of wits and stupidity. who wins? who loses? perhaps you both do.
Number neighbour by @softyn [❀][𖤓][⟡][fanboyau] 30 parts
Jisung has been a fan of y/n since he can remember, what will happen when y/n posts her new youtube video texting her number neighbor who turned out to be Jisung?
Friends without desire by @skzhua [❀][𖤓][⟡][exes2l] 40 parts NEW
where minho being a dumbass led to meeting him again.
⠄・ ⋆ ・ ⠄⠂⋆ ・ ⠄⠂⋆ ・ ⠄more to come!⠄・ ⋆ ・ ⠄⠂⋆ ・ ⠄⠂⋆ ・ ⠄
☆-------------------skz masterlist-------------------☆
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raayllum · 9 months
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how are you a teacher and shipping a literal child with an 18 year old💀
i'm a tutor with an honours specialization in how fiction influences and/or is influenced by reality. i also work with students across all grade levels, even into university ages/adulthood. you're bringing up talking points from plato's republic that aristotle knew was stupid 3000+ years ago. i've written papers & studied this exact same line of discourse across the western canon of like, 800 years? but have fun playing into far right bullshit and book banning that just repeats over and over again, the literal conservative puritans were having these moral panics too &lt;;3 totally not protestant conservatism with a gay hat
& that's cause i'm not shipping a literal child with an 18 year old (which btw 18 yr olds are not magically emotionally mature fully grown adults either even if they legally are adults, i say as someone who was a teenager just four years ago). i'm shipping two characters with an age gap when they're both fully grown adults in their 20s. if you think characters are for some reason Frozen at a certain age and can never be aged up when they're from an IP property you don't own, and that authors can only explore characters at different life stages when they're characters the author owns, you inherently don't understand the transformative part of fandom / transformative fiction
like hi, was a literal minor like 4 years ago who was harassed throughout my teen years by people just like you because i shipped two (2) things with a 4 year age gap, but no i'm sure calling a 16 yr old a pedophile in the name of "protecting children" (when no one online is entitled to anyone's personal private information, nvm their history with csa) was totally worth it
if you've ever enjoyed or read literally anything adjacent to greek myth or the fucking bible, you've enjoyed texts with a whole lot of fucked up shit in it, of which age gaps are the least of their 'problems'. come back to me when you've read "wuthering heights" or some actual fucked up shit
and update bc anon came back and Really thought they were doing something: wuthering heights doesn't have an age gap at all. the two leads are the same age and are fucked up for so many other reasons. plato's republic is a philosophical musing manual on where art fits into society and how it should manifest / what its purpose is. but thank you for failing critical thinking so hard you couldn't even google something for 2 seconds to make sure your argument was sound At All
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reanimatedheart · 20 days
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Do the cast members speak any other languages? How would they act around a multilingual MC? Also would they like to do and share the traditions and things from their culture with the MC once they are comfortable with the MC?
Crux knows Hindi but has a thick American accent still. He can read Sanskrit though, and have read Hindu texts like the Puranas and Ramayana in the original language. He also cursory knows German because he was obsessed with German philosophers like Hegel and Nietzsche when he was a teenager. His mother is a devout Hindu and a devi worshipper, and she raised him very familiar with their customs. He'll definitely share his culture with MC when he invites MC to dinner with his family!
Vincenzo is fluent in Italian. Actually, originally, he was supposed to have a mild British accent because (spoilers) he was dumped to an English all-boy's school by his father, but yanno, getting too specific with accents when looking to a VO isn't great. My headcanon is that his accent just neutralized after his travels. Vincenzo loves Italy, especially the food, and I'm planning on having him and the MC bond over food.
Black knows Tagalog. But only very basic because his only exposure to it was his mother in Florida, and the insular Filipino community there. He won't be able to explain any grammar rules to you, lmao. But he'll cook you fried rice and sinigang if you're hungry... and that's way better than how he normally used to eat!
If the MC shows an inclination to liking language learning, Vincenzo and Crux will be really enthusiastic with learning it. Vincenzo will try to be sultry with the MC with the native language, while Crux will look up various insults and curse words at first.
Black is not great at language learning, but he'll shyly say phrases he's picked up to you. And you'll just notice he's fully understanding you whatever tongue you're speaking. Not a great language learner, but a good listener.
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edwad · 1 month
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What's the best secondary literature on the Grundrisse?
i'm not necessarily a grundrisse-doer by any means so i don't go out of my way to leaf through all the secondary literature on it, but rosdolsky's the making of marx's capital is the classic text which set discussions about the grundrisse in motion. it has been somewhat outmoded by later scholarship (even the title of the work itself is based on a misunderstanding of marx's changing plans for the critique of political economy), but all serious grundrisse-ing since is in some way indebted to this work.
otherwise, i think the relevant part of oakley's marx's critique of political economy is probably the best study of marx's source material and what he was doing with it. he has his flaws, but i consider oakley a must-read for anyone really trying to grapple with marx's economic work. his earlier book, the making of marx's critical theory (an obvious nod to rosdolsky), is much less ambitious than his 2-volume work, but has plenty of overlap and works well as a brief but scholarly overview of marxs development as an economic thinker in a way which dovetails nicely with the framing offered by mandel in his similar work on the formation of the economic thought of karl marx, but without nearly as much stupidity. mandel's work is worth reading if you can get to it, because he has a certain sensitivity to the development of marx's theory of wages in a way which puts the problem neatly to the reader, but oakley's work is undoubtedly superior.
there are also a zillion or so edited volumes out there which are more or less useful (in marxs laboratory ed. bellofiore et al, karl marx's grundrisse ed. musto, etc) and they're worth perusing on topics of interest, but -- like most scholarly volumes of that sort -- they are probably best digested after achieving a certain degree of familiarity. i don't know where you stand in relation to the grundrisse or marx generally, but these volumes tend to involve a lot of specialists wading into long-running debates that not even rosdolsky can fully prepare you for, so they don't necessarily work well as a handy guide to the text, if that's the kind of thing you're looking for (although obviously some pieces are better suited for this than others). that being said, musto's original work in particular (found in his edited volume but also freely available on his website) is quite useful for situating marxs grundrisse in the context of his life/intellectual development.
the last thing i might throw out there as a suggestion is sixel's understanding marx. this is a thin companion to marx's introduction of 1857, which is typically included in published editions of the grundrisse even though it doesn't really belong to that project and, in some ways, can complicate the reading by making it seem as if the grundrisse is supposed to somehow fit into the shape or develop the case for the conclusions of this introduction. this isn't really the function of the introduction, and the grundrisse wasn't written as a book-draft which ought to be introduced to an audience of readers. that being said, it's an important piece and is usually read by people picking up the grundrisse, so sixel's little book is handy for anyone interested in thinking through its implications. his approach is rooted in a philosophical reading of marx as navigating the terrain of german idealism with a notion of critique in mind which implicitly nods toward kant and hegel, so no one can complain that ive neglected these elements.
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tanadrin · 7 months
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@msexcelfractal
Would you consider global colonialism and climate destruction to be huge qol improvements? Industrial humanity has knowledge without wisdom and it’s going to destroy us - the ttc remains a relevant warning
i think this is a great example of not being able to even begin to take a long historical view on anything. obviously the philosophers of the warring states era of chinese history whose work was compiled into the tao te ching had not even the foggiest notion of "colonialism" as the concept is used in modern political discourse or of climate change! how could a work of axial age political philosophy, when the global population was measured in the low hundreds of millions, have anything thoughtful or interesting to say about climate change, a consequence of technological and social processes that wouldn't begin for another ~2,000 years?
the only way the tao te ching can have any relevance to the present day is if we renegotiate the text--this is something dan mcclellan talks about a lot in the context of religion; it's basically an automatic process. we have texts that are culturally significant to us, which remain important for reasons of identity, and which we thus must find ways to keep relevant, bc we're unwilling to abandon them; thus, even as the politicial/social/technological/cultural/etc. context around those texts changes, even changes very radically, we must find new ways of reading those texts in order to keep them relevant, so that we don't have to abandon them.
not only is it historically baseless, i think it indicates a profound lack of imagination and a profound inability to do the kind of thoughtful, sympathetic reasoning necessary to really appreciate texts from other cultural contexts to look at something like the tao te ching and only be able to read into it modern concerns. to, in other words, draft every ancient text you read as a soldier in modern arguments. the concerns of the author(s) of the tao te ching were completely different from yours! like, maybe if you're a committed taoist interested primarily in devotional readings of the tao te ching there's something there you can work with, but even then i think that's kind of fraught--like, i don't think Christian readings of Isaiah are on much better footing even if they admit, sure, yeah, Isaiah really has nothing to do with Christian notions of the messiah. I think you're still doing something silly there, and even if you acknowledge you're bending the text out of shape on purpose it's more interesting in its original sitz im leben.
and really--what lessons could we drag out of the tao te ching even if we dragooned it into a modern context? break the world up into sovereign states so small that the people of one state can hear dogs barking in the next state over, but will grow old and die without having had any dealings with them? how can we operationalize the dictum that governing a state is like boiling a small fish? the tao te ching is a fascinating and thoughtful book, and totally worth taking seriously--but it's not a modern work of economics or political science! and the work necessary to turn it into one would constitute constructing a whole new political philosophy that has nothing to do with the actual text and everything to do with the preexisting beliefs of the person doing the constructing. you, presumably, would build some kind of generic leftist philosophy out of it. someone else might discover it's really a tract about right-libertarianism. somebody else might decide, well, really it's about RETVRNing to some kind of ultra-authoritarian hyper-patriarchal micro-feudalism.
like, not to be a huge bitch or anything, but... be serious. think outside the extremely narrow context of contemporary political horizons for five freaking minutes.
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letyukisayfuck · 6 months
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hey!! i really like your blog and all of your thoughts about haruhi the franchise are so interesting but what I'm curious about is how do you feel about koizumi in general? you speak about him very rarely but he's my fav character and you're my fav tumblr account so far so i wanna hear it if you have something to say about him ahah
aaaaaa thank you! i'm glad people like my particular brand of nonsense and screaming loudly into what i initially thought was a void. gotta say, being called someone's favorite tumblr is an honor i never thought i would receive from anyone
so yeah, i mostly talk about koizumi on here to give him shit, but honestly that's partially because i find it funny that after mikuru gets promoted from being nothing more than the universe's punching bag he basically takes her place in terms of 'character that suffers for comedy' (see: random numbers and seven wonders in particular), and partially because the text gives us very little of him seemingly being genuine without some level of bullshit attached to it.
like i said yesterday, i don't dislike any of the brigade; koizumi would probably be classed as my least favorite, but it's not so much because i dislike him and more because he never gets the narrative focus that would bring him up to the same level as mikuru
we never really get something that eqates to love at first sight or the melancholy of mikuru asahina for koizumi, and certainly nothing on the level of disappearance or intrigues (which i would argue are the yuki and mikuru spotlight novels, respectively)
(melancholy and surprise i would class as haruhi spotlights, one before and one after her character development; and sigh i would class as 'establishing material that is necessary but not exactly fun to sift through for the most part')
i like to think if we ever get another long-form book it'll be koizumi-centric, mostly because i'd like to see him actually get to be a major player! it's getting a little sad to watch kyon hear him go "maybe i wanted to time travel" and just go "i mean what could koizumi possibly want from me"
but really, the only koizumi spotlight we have is the tempo loss bishop exchange--which, notably, while i take it as canon (as it was authorized) was not by tanigawa; if i remember right, it was instead written by sou sagara
i read a fan translation, as there's never been an official release and my relationship with the official haruhi translations is reasonably antagonistic on a good day, and i think it's worth noting that for the first page and a half i didn't think there would be a plot. i thought it was just koizumi's philosophical bullshit, novelized.
that said, it was really fun to read something from his perspective (kind of like how editor in chief gives us insight into yuki and mikuru via their writing styles; but more direct)
so, before i get into my own thoughts (which i believe i've touched on before), it's worth noting that while the entire cast of haruhi can be easily read a variety of ways, koizumi is arguably the easiest to do this with because we get so little to work with in terms of "things we know to be true"
things we know for sure are true about koizumi: north high student (presumably a teenager), esper, works for a mysterious organization, considered attractive/popular (unless i'm misremembering something), has explicitly stated that he's always putting on an act but has never clarified how much and in exactly what way, earnestly offers advice but often contradicts himself, claims to be able to read haruhi's mood/emotions/something along those lines, and (in the later books) has made a hobby out of trying to convince kyon to deal with his very obvious romantic feelings for haruhi
my own reading of koizumi is biased by my readings of other characters and their relationships/dynamics; and it's also specifically the one i think is the funniest option: koizumi has a thing for both kyon and haruhi, is aware that neither of them views him the same way (with haruhi viewing him solely as a subordinate and only really paying attention when he's saying things she wants to hear, and kyon seemingly regarding him as a friend as well as a source of useful information, but hardly even willing to acknowledge that fact most of the time)
and, since he has accepted that neither of them like him that way but they do very obviously like each other, he's decided that they should get over themselves and get together. unfortunately, kyon's strategy when he hears things he doesn't want to is pretend no one's said anything at all, and so koizumi's words go ignored
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will-o-the-witch · 1 year
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so i'm reconstructionist hellenic pagan and i've got a lot of time sunk into that from a philosophic point of view and i have Very Strong Feelings about hubris as a concept and i had a little "ive connected the dots/you didnt connect shit" moment regarding other gentiles bothering you about kabbalah.
i have 10+ years reading academic esoteric texts because im just a nerd and i would not even BEGIN to presume i have an atom of a clue what kabbalah even is. i hear "30+ years rabbinic experience" and "intensive torachic study" and my trash witch ass starts anxiety sweating.
i want to study them like bugs how do they stand up under the weight of their egos.
My personal theory is that it's a mixture between commodification and the dunning-kruger effect.
Like, you do see some of what I'll neutrally call "Pop Kabbalah" with celebrities, and books about using practical kabbalah almost as a get-rich-quick #manifestation practice. And to be fair there are reliable books out there designed to at least make the surface-level kabbalah stuff (if there really is such a thing) more accessible, even if they're still pretty dense.
Naturally, then, you end up with a lot of people who initially get exposed to Kabbalah through a pitch that makes it sound much easier to wrangle than it actually is. And if you're coming into it purely for the purpose of treating it like a toolbox (as it was sold to you) rather than comprehending the oceanic depth of it, then following the guidelines other people laid out for you is probably enough to satisfy you and "mastering" those will make you feel like an expert.
That said, I haven't spoken in-depth with a lot of those folks myself lol. I have a goyiche friend who used to be into it back in the day who I should ask sometime.
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