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I having the biggest fucking crush on Ben Schwartz and it’s killing me 

When I think about him or see him it makes my heart hurt and my chest tight 

I’ve never been in love and I know this ain’t it cause I don’t actually know the man, but holy shit I’m in love with him lol

I know I’ll get over it eventually. I have to. There’s no other possibility

But I got a lot of shit going on right now and these stupid feelings aren’t helping 

No one pays any attention to me online and I need to just sorta type shit out freely so here’s my word vomit 


Originally posted by globalanimepictures

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so here’s how dinner went tonight.

I was super duper craving pizza. Talked myself out of delivery by convincing myself I could make some healthy veggie pasta that would satisfy my craving for italian food.

I am apparently out of spaghetti sauce. Garlic and olive oil will do, right? I made a decision to just throw in the last of a bag of broccoli because the zucchini I was going to use had gone moldy.

I set the stove on fire twice.

Broccoli pasta is… not good.

When I discovered the tastiest part of my meal was the plain pasta….

I ordered a pizza.

It was fucking delicious.

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I’m not having the best day mentally…I feel anxious and insecure, it’s mostly my fault so at least I know that it’s just my own thoughts right now.

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That moment when, you want to tell your parents you no longer want to go to a theatre school in a big city. But you’re also only taking one college class currently cause you dropped the others cause of stress. All these amounting to you just want to become a podcaster and get a job to keep you on your feet and just live life but you’re worried about the disappointment of the fact you’ve given up and changed your plans again.


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Voilà j’ai pleuré aujourd’hui parce que ma professeur de français a une femme et ils ont un chat (une chatte en vrai, duchesse) et c’est tout que je veux dans la vie mais en fait je pense que ça m’arrivera jamais parce que je pense trop aux autres je considère les sentiments d’elle plus que les miens parce que ça… c’est aimer, enfin. J’étais seule je suis seule je serai seule et je voudrais changer mais c’est presque impossible quand il y a toujours des exceptions des situations particulières et je veux jamais jamais lui faire mal. Je pose ces restrictions quand elle me regarde aux yeux que simplement je peux pas l’embrasser qu’il faut que je ne regarde pas elle comme ça. parce que je tomberai amoureuse. Mais en vrai je suis déjà amoureuse d’elle je l’aime je l’aime je l’aime. C’est quoi le pire, être sur ou être incertaine? La même chose pour moi mais si elle m’aime pas vraiment ce que je choisirai l’affectera. Je doute pas qu’elle peut vivre sans moi elle peut survivre tout mais qui suis-je si je lui dit que je l’aime et détruis notre amitié si je sais ce que passe dans sa vie?

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a lot of traumatic stuff from my past is starting to come back to me and i hate it, but i also know the only reason my brain is unblocking things is bc i am safe and more emotionally stable than i’ve ever been

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The thing that honestly sucks the most is knowing that you are easily replaceable,and once someone better shows up you will be abandoned at the drop of a hat,no fanfare,no warning. Nothing. Only someone who is just like me can understand this feeling,and I know many of you do.

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i leave everyone scarred. i’m a terrible person. i should die. i should die. i should die. i’m no good. good for nothing. i hate myself. despising myself for good. i’m only a fat, disgusting, ugly pig. i fucking hate myself. i ruin people. i ruin things. i ruin everything!

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I am so sorry because I literally know how serious depression is I have bipolar depression but whenever I see this ad is right after I’ve eaten a bunch of popcorn at like 4 am and I can’t help but laugh.

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Might fuck around and post about my interests on main more often

Might not do that


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