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#iiiii get bored easily
blackberry--mouse · 2 years
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Hiii sorry i haven't been online recently, ill probably continue to not be too active for a little while because of classes and work but heres a short lil clip from the lemonghost au to make up for it lol!! (its a little bit of a rough draft so lmk if theres any grammar or spelling mistakes)
tw for manipulative behavior, past abuse, ghosts, and a very small blood mention
The leadup to this moment is that lemonghost 1 is bored and lonely, he begins to think about the old days where him and his sibling got along. They've barely spoken to him ever since they both died because they were upset with him. What did people do when others were upset? Well, they apologized! so he went to find his sibling in their little greenhouse garden to do just that. It didn't matter that he was only apologizing to get them to do what he wanted, right?
“You aren’t listening to meee.” Lemongrab grumbled. He didn’t appreciate the amount of disrespect his sibling was giving him. Glob he missed his anger, it would be useful right about now.
“Hmmm, maybe I don’t want to.” His sibling replied coldly. They didn’t even turn to look at him, they just kept plucking the wilted flowers off their petunia plant and tossing them in the trash can by their feet. Well, where their feet would be if they had any. “Youuu are distracting me from my dead heading. These petunias get awful and need it about every two days. They don’t take care of themselves, you know.”
Lemongrab sighed, this was going to be harder than he thought. Why was his sibling being difficult? They didn’t used to act like this! They used to obey him without a second thought, scurrying around to do his bidding the moment he snapped out an order. Now they just stood- uh, floated there, mocking him as they cleaned a stupid pot of red pansies.
“What iiii am trying to say is…” Lemongrab hesitated, glancing between his sibling and the concrete floor. The greenhouse suddenly seemed very small, he hoped this would work. He hoped that somewhere inside this new rude sibling, his old sibling could hear him. The respectful one, the one who understood that they were the lesser sibling. “I am sorry. For everything.”
“What?” His sibling choked, almost dropping their watering can in surprise. They did manage to slosh an excess of water all over their petunias, spilling a few flecks of dirt out of the small pot and onto the concrete floor. For once, the didn’t hurry to clean up the mess, they just stared at him with an unreadable expression.
“Yes Iiiii am sorry so you can forgive me now and we can go back to being friends. Just like we were! You remember that, right? When we were friends? Remember how much fffun we had?” Lemongrab explained, trying to sound as sincere as possible, throwing in an overly toothy smile for emphasis. It looked more like a snarl than anything, but the thought counts right? His sibling just continued to stare at him blankly, giving no indication that it had worked, so he tried again. “You must be terribly lonely without meeee… all this time you’ve been aaalone, I bet you’ve miss me- GAH!” 
Lemongrab was cut off as his sibling hurled the heavy metal watering can directly at face, splashing the freezing cold water all over him. It hit him head on and bent his long snout back at an unnatural angle. He blinked for a moment as the can crashed to the floor, trying to process what on earth had just happened.
“Get out of my garden.” His twin seethed, reaching for a small shovel. “Get out and stay away from me. I do not accept your apology, I will never forgive you, and I have NOT missed you. Youuu aren’t even truly sorry, your just bored and lonely and wish you could push me around and hurt me just as easily as you used to. You don’t care for me, you never have, you only care for yourself. Get out.” 
“I dooo care for you!!” Lemongrab protested, rubbing his poor bruised nose. If he had been alive, it would probably be broken and bleeding. When had they gotten that strong?“Youuu are my broth- nnngh….. my sibling. Weeee are of the same rind, The only truueee friend I’ve ever had.”
“Fuck offffff to hell you bastard piece of shit.” His twin shot back, brandishing the spade at him like a dagger. Lemongrab took a physical step back at the horrendous language his sibling had just spewed. He did not raise them with such a foul mouth! “I am not your sibling and definitely not your friend. We may be made of the same fflesssh but YOU are no brother of mine! I will not say it again. Get. OUT!” 
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mmm-asbestos · 3 years
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*me establishing some sort of an artstyle and being relatively effective at it*
immediately my brain:
BARKBAKRKAKSGPGUJPSHUJSDGHUIGSDGRRRRRRRR
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORING
BORING
I’M BORED
WHAT’S THE POINT????
THEY ALL LOOK THE SAME
 BUT IN DIFFERENT POSES
changeeverythingchangeeverythingchangeeverythingchangeeverything
DO A FUCKING FLIPPPPPPPPPPPP
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undercoveravenger · 4 years
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Warmth
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Pairing: Paul Lahote x Male!Reader
Requested: Yes
Original Request: “Iiiii wanna request one of the wolf boys of your choice in Twilight imprinting on Bella’s younger brother and how the Cullens were involved cuz they all baby him so much. Thank you & I love your works a lot btw, hope you have a nice day”
A/N: I went with Paul, bc that gives Emmett reason to go angry brother bear mode lol, hope that’s okay!
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“Why am I here again?” You asked, looking over at your sister. The two of you, along with the entire Cullen family, were hanging around in some snow-covered clearing in the woods, waiting for the Quileute wolves to show up so that they could renegotiate the treaty, so that, hopefully, the Cullens could turn Bella without causing a full-on war to break out. “I get that this is important to you and all, but Bells, I’m human, and I don’t really want that to change, so I don’t see how this involves me.”
“Because you’re an honorary Cullen, human or otherwise.” Bella grinned at you, reaching over to shove you playfully, “And Emmett wouldn’t shut up about seeing his future brother-in-law again, so I figured this would be a good time to bring you to visit.” She shrugged, looking back out toward the wall of trees in the direction of the reservation, “Besides, having another normal person here might help convince everyone to keep a level head.”
You snorted, crossing your arms over your chest, “Bells, you’re a lot of things, but normal definitely isn’t one of them.” You waited with your sister for a few more minutes before getting bored and going to go talk to Alice and Jasper.
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Time seemed to have been passing even slower for Emmett than it had been for you, since you’d barely even greeted the dainty vampire and her mate before the brunet’s arms snaked around your waist and dragged you up against his chest and you barely had enough time to close your eyes before he was suplexing you into a snow drift.
To mess with him, you remained perfectly still once he’d let go of you, even going so far as to hold your breath. There was a lot of shouting, far more than if it had been just the Cullens to witness your little prank, meaning the wolves had undoubtedly arrived just in time to see you get pitched into a snowbank. There was the expected moment of arguing but before you knew it, you’d been hauled up out of the snow by a pair of arms so warm that you had to wonder whether hypothermia had set in upon impact.
“What the hell, leech?!” The chest you were being held against rumbled as it’s owner growled, “Not enough to have to kill things to exist, now you go killing your own sympathizers!”
You could hear Emmett snarling and you knew that you needed to intervene before things got even further out of hand. You jerked against the stranger’s grip, forcing yourself out of their arms and back to your feet. “Don’t get your fur in a bunch, Fido,” you grumbled, stumbling a little as you tried to regain your balance. “I’m fine, just a little colder than I’d like to be.” It was then that you looked up at your ‘rescuer.’
His hands were still extended out toward you to help steady you if you needed it, but now you’d been knocked off balance for an entirely different reason. He was tall, towering over you easily even though you really weren’t all that short yourself, and he was built, with thick arms and a defined chest and abs and the rich russet color of his skin only made his musculature all the more appealing. Suddenly you were a little regretful that your playing-dead act had ended so soon. He had close cropped black hair that nearly matched the pitch-dark eyes that were fixated on you, like the two of you were the only people left in the world. 
His lips twitched up into a tiny grin, like it was meant for you and you only. “Hi,” he said, voice small and breathless like he’d just run a marathon. “I’m Paul.”
You’d opened your mouth to respond when you were cut off by the celebratory whoops and hollers coming from the rest of the wolf pack. Your brows furrowed and you turned away from Paul to see what all the commotion was about.
You could see Edward murmur something quietly to the rest of the family, dark amber eyes flickering warily between the two of you. Emmett bristled, storming over and planting himself between the two of you. “No way in hell,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest. “Any of the other mutts I could’ve learned to live with, but you? Fat fucking chance.”
The werewolf’s shoulders straightened and you could tell he was trying to hold himself back. “It’s not really any of your business anyway.”
“Not my business?” Emmett hissed, tensing at the insinuation. “(M/N)’s my best friend! It’s definitely my business if some mongrel thinks it’s his place to come try and steal him away!”
It was fair to say that you were incredibly confused, but you knew that your first step needed to be defusing the situation. “Emmett,” you said, putting a hand on his shoulder as you spoke, “You wanna tell me what’s got you so pissy?”
Rosalie was the one to answer you, stalking forward to stand beside her husband and glare at Paul. “This pathetic little puppy imprinted on you.”
“Imprinted?” Your brows furrowed and you glanced toward the rest of the pack for an explanation.
Jacob, the only one of the wolves you’d actually met before now, nodded at you, “It’s, uh, kind of like soulmates. When a wolf imprints, it’s like their person is the only thing that matters anymore. Like they’re what’s holding you to the planet, not gravity.”
“Oh.” Well. That hadn’t been what you were expecting. You turned back to look at the vampires blocking you from Paul’s sight, nudging your way past them with a sigh so you could look up at Paul. “Is that true? Did you imprint on me?”
You could see him swallow hard before he forced himself to speak, “Y-yeah.” He was quick to backtrack, “But it doesn’t have to be r-romantic or anything, if that’s not what you want or you aren’t into guys or anything. We could just be friends? Or, uh, whatever you want me to be, really?”
You couldn’t help but smile a little; he was cute when he got flustered. “Tell you what, after this, if negotiations go well, I’ll let you take me out to dinner and we can talk about it, okay?”
Paul brightened, a wide grin taking over his features, “Yeah? Yeah.” He paused, seemingly getting lost in thought for a second, “Yeah-” He pulled a face, “I said that already. Um, sure. Anywhere you want is fine, I’ll just be happy to be there,” he grinned at you sheepishly, ducking his head to hide the faint blush coloring his cheeks.
Carlisle chose that moment to interrupt, “Well, with that excitement settled,” he started, shooting the two of you an amused grin. Esme smiled at the two of you from her place beside him, “I believe we have a treaty to discuss?”
Emmett and Rosalie headed back to the rest of the Cullens with a huff, but the rest didn’t seem all too bothered about your new bodyguard/soulmate. Alice even looked excited, bouncing up and down on her toes and speaking quickly to Jasper, probably already planning your wedding even though you and Paul had just barely met. 
You took a few steps toward the group before a thought struck you. You turned to look over your shoulder at the werewolf, “Hey, Paul? You said you’d be anything I needed you to, right?”
He perked up as you addressed him, grinning back at you. “Absolutely.”
“Well,” you started, smirking mischievously, “I’m still pretty chilly, so I could really use a space heater?”
Paul smiled as he realized what you meant, waiting until you turned back to listen to the negotiations to drape himself over you, slipping his arms around your middle so he could pull you flush against his chest. He pressed a barely-there kiss to your shoulder before setting his chin there so he could still see what was happening. He may not have known what you’d want from him in the future, but right now, with you in his arms, Paul was perfectly content.
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jordanr770-blog · 3 years
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America Needs Some Talent
 I just needed someplace to write down my thoughts so here we are!
I have been watching America’s Got Talent since season 11 when the ukulele girl won. I personally didn’t vote for her but can understand why she won. Same goes for season 12. I was rooting super hard for Diavolo but can understand why puppet girl won. Season 13 had some of the best acts ever (Shin Lim-winner) and I know a lot of people disliked her, but Courtney Hadwin should have at least  gotten 5th place over sob story “I’m such a good person and I hit my wife” Michael Ketterer. Kodi Lee was the obvious winner of season 14 and I personally thought he deserved it over the other acts. Other people did not think it was well deserved, and that’s ok too.  
Last season we got a spoken word poet in the form of Brandon Leake. I did not enjoy the act AT ALL and was kind of mad that he won, but I will say that even though I did not enjoy him, spoken word poetry is indeed a talent.
Now, you may be thinking that season 16 would be a smidgeon of an improvement over season 15. Talent and reality shows should probably strive to become better every season. But if you thought this show isn’t capable of getting any worse, you haven’t been paying attention because this show will always find ways to disappoint. Last night we were told everyone voted for an INSPIRATIONAL speech giver as the winner. Or I’m sorry, apparently he does magic. His name is Dustin Tavella. But the thing is, he was HORRIBLE at both storytelling AND magic and nowhere near deserved the win. “It was well deserved.” How? How is a kindergarten level “magician” worth a million dollars and a Vegas show? I believe the show in Vegas is about an hour and a half and I am curious as to what is he going to do in that timeframe? Talk about how the folks living in Vegas are living in sin while simultaneously throwing paper in the air MAGICALLY? I’m sure the audience will go wild over that. Or maybe during all of his shows he will adopt a kid a day from different countries and then spend about an hour talking about Little ZimZam’s harsh life and while he’s babbling  he’ll be semi incorporating his poor magic skills into the act in the last minute so the poster stating he’s a magician didn’t TECHNICALLY lie so nobody is getting their money back. I really don’t know. I have a lot of thoughts. 
Plus, his sob story just did nothing for me whatsoever. Good for you for adapting 11 children, unless it has to do with whatever your act is, shut the hell up and do the trick! Not once did this guy impress  or give even the best of a performance of the night. It was always 8+ minutes of “inspiration” and tirades about how we as a society need to be good to one another whilst doing crappy magic. Let me tell you, I know next to nothing about magic but even I could tell he was a less than stellar magician. Even calling him a magician is somewhat laughable. In reality he's a motivational speaker who does terrible magic tricks and  who always somehow manages to suck at said terrible magic but America apparently doesn’t notice him screwing up his terrible magic because he’s too busy telling them to look at a crumpled up piece of paper or a ladder or the new photograph of his adopted son who has an extra eyeball or whatever. It’s stupid.
Last night for his final performance Dustin’s act was, and I kid you not, telling us all to be nice. FOR SEVEN UNNECESSARY MINUTES. And I do believe he started to fake cry. Dude, you’re acting is about as good as Heidi Klum’s. You can't act and you can barely do magic. Why are you here? What is your talent? Did he really join a talent show to become some type of inspirational God of obvious wisdom? If that’s the case, he should have gone and done a Ted Talk, many less victims of mediocrity that way. America somehow  put him in the top 5 with actually talented people? I think not. The act itself was not impressive and he did the same thing every time, just told a different sob story. If you have to rely on a sad story to win, you don’t deserve to win a show where talent is the main objective. 
In case my last few paragraphs were not made abundantly clear, I am not a fan of this dude. At all. I read a comment which stated that a message is not a talent and whoever said that is 100% correct and summed up my feelings pretty accurately. I'm not a fan or boring and basic tricks combined with even worse stories. He's the living embodiment of a motivational meme and anyone who voted for this guy is  gullible and can fight me. Maybe people “voted” for him because he attempted to pull on the heartstrings? But because I sold my heart long ago his act didn’t effect me as much. /s But I swear every year they make it more clear that the entire show is rigged. 
Well, maybe the voting ISN’T rigged entirely and all the boomers  (first time I’ve ever used that term) and antivaxxers and easily swayed by sob story people on Twitter and Facebook voted for him. Doubtful, but you never know. HE WAS SO FREAKING BAD!!!
We are all allowed to have opinions and just because you don’t agree with me that doesn’t mean I am an awful person who deserves DEATH. I keep getting responses and messages on Twitter from angry folk who are calling me heartless because I questioned WHY they voted for him. “Well, IIIII gave Dustin all 10 of my votes!” That’s nice Karen. That is also not an answer and I cannot stress enough how much I do not care that you voted for the phony used cars salesman. Go tell your Prince from Nigeria all about it. Another guy got mad and reported me for “yelling at strangers.” Which is kind of a typical thing people do on Twitter. And I wasn’t even yelling! Lol. 
And another point I’d like to make (about this and  in general) is people really need to stop using the terms “all of us” and the word “we.” I am my own person and you do not get to speak for me. 
“We were all crying when we saw him perform!” - No WE most certainly weren’t. I was seething with anger, yes. Crying? Not even close.
“His magic touched all of our hearts!” WHAT MAGIC? WHERE WAS THE MAGIC IN THIS MANS ENTIRE ACT? I MUST HAVE MISSED IT AFTER I PASSED OUT FROM HIS 7 MINUTE LONG STORY ABOUT HIS BORING LIFE. 
His win was a complete insult.
* I personally voted for Aidan Bryant, but I really wanted Unicircle Flow to win before they got kicked off due to the judges having a tendency to suck at picking during judges choice. *
Edit: I apologize if this wasn’t articulated very well or if it seems I basically said the same thing over and over. To be fair it was 3 am when I wrote this and I was still irritated and questioning everything. Still doesn’t excuse the fact that this guy was lame and doesn’t deserve a Vegas show. My mom told me earlier today that people on the Internet are mad about his win and that it’s not fair to take it out on the guy, which I suppose is kind of true. Not exactly his fault the general public has failed and shown their stupidity yet again. If anyone is to blame it is the people who actually voted for this doofus. And AGT. And yeah, I guess I will blame him as well. But I’m not saying go to his Twitter or Instagram or whatever and call him out for being a con artist and bully him. 
I think the MESSAGE =P I’m trying to display here  is that someone has no business being on a talent show unless they have talent; self explanatory. A message isn’t talent. Being a narcissist isn’t talent. Exploiting your kids and wife isn’t talent. Speaking can be a talent (comedy, that poetry guy, acting, improv, probably a lot of other stuff I’m forgetting about) but one shouldn’t call themselves a magician if one is really a way less cool garage sale version of Talky Tina. Magic IS talent but if you want a million dollars you better have skills that are on par or better than the professionals. 
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marthakwayne · 3 years
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name: Martha Esther Wayne, nee Kane alias:  Martha Kane, Batmom gender: Cis-female sexual orientation: Bisexual romantic orientation: Biromantic
preferred pet names: Darling, dear, anything in Yiddish or Hebrew relationship status: Married/Widowed
opinion on true love: It’s very real, and she has it for many. opinion on love at first sight: Not real; she hated Thomas at first. She thinks the idea is absurd because people are far more than their looks, and since she’s all about putting on a show as a socialite, she doesn’t think you can get a sense of people that easily. Martha is well trained in charisma and very surrounded by fake people.  how ‘romantic’ are they?: The lady has a rose garden, after all. And money, lots and lots of money. She’ll paint pictures for her lovers too. 
ideal physical traits: Tall, dark hair, gruff voice for males, facial hair ideal personality traits: Kindness, empathy, and intelligence. She wants someone who can keep up with her intellectually while also nurturing her emotional side. 
unattractive physical traits: Sloppy, lots of body hair, shorter than her unattractive personality traits: Thinking you know better than her, stifling her creativity, sexist, boring
do they have a type?: She loves her mustached men alright.  opinion of public affection: Affection, yes-- chaste kisses, hand holding, all good. She is not okay with more intense PDA such as sitting in laps to making out +
favourite canon ship: PennyWaynes is canon, right? Martha/Thomas favourite non-canon ship: Martha/Alfred but IIIII think it’s canon lol
tagged by: @laughter-in-white
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justkeeptrekkin · 4 years
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Wrote a little Good Omens/Star Trek crossover
.... for the awesome @comicgeekery​. Thanks for the inspo!
5th April, 2063
“--historic day for humankind. For this is truly the first time that we have been able to refer to ourselves as such with the certainty that there is, in fact, life elsewhere in the perceivable universe.”
It’s a balmy, spring afternoon in London when Crowley rolls out of bed and turns on the television. Honestly, he’s fairly used to ignoring the news; it’s only on because he’d left it on channel one last night for a nature documentary that he and Aziraphale have been watching about whales. That’s why he pays very little attention to the picture on his projector screen.
“-- quite extraordinary. It seems as if this was all triggered by Zefram Cochrane's attempt at warp-speed flight, and er-- just coming in now, these beings call themselves Vulcans, Jane, and-- aha-- well, they’re not quite saying that they come in peace, but if our translators are correct, they’re offering us a long and prosperous life--”
Crowley slams his mug on the counter. He’s run out of coffee. He could very easily conjure up some more now, right here, but miracle-coffee is never as good as the nice Costa Rican stuff he buys. Or, more accurately, that Aziraphale buys for him, because he’s just that much of a kept man, apparently.
A knocking at the door. A light rapping that Crowley recognises immediately, and it would usually make him humiliatingly happy except for the fact that he’s just woken up from a--
He checks the time on the TV screen.
 -- from a two week nap, he hasn’t got any coffee, and the TV is blabbering on far too loudly. Waving a hand at said TV until it is muted, Crowley slides over to the door, dressing gown belt flapping about against his leg, and opens it with a flourish.
 Aziraphale has that bright-eyed, bushy-tailed look about him: never a good sign. “Crowley--”
Crowley plants a brief kiss on his cheek, then immediately retreats back into the kitchen, shoulders heavy with sleep. “I’m going back to sleep, angel. World’s too loud still.”
”Crowley--” the sound of the door slamming, very purposefully, Crowley thinks, as Azriaphale continues: “I have been trying to call you all morning. I thought you left your phone on vibrate for such things.”
 “I did. Didn’t I?” Crowley scratches his head. He’s sure he’d changed the ring tone for Aziraphale’s phone number specifically so he’d wake up when only he called. “Apparently not, sorry Angel-- any news?”
He sees the way Aziraphale is rolling his eyes and flapping about when he turns back around from the kitchen with two mugs of tea. His hands are fiddling with each other in that excitable way that they do, a happy nervous way that he’s come to adore. Crowley hands him a cup. Aziraphale takes it with a pointed raise of his brow.
“Any -- any news? Really. You could not have asked a more absurd--”
At that point, apparently, he’s lost for words. More frustrated than Crowley realised, and so he begins to take Aziraphale’s bright eyes and bushy tail a little more seriously. Particularly when Aziraphale puts down the cup of tea of all things, and gestures to the television, one arm outstretched and gaze still fixed on Crowley.
The screen remains muted. However, Crowley gathers what Aziraphale is gesturing at fairly quickly. He’s so used to letting the news blend into the background, tired of feeling depressed by the human race -- especially with this World War III nonsense -- that he’d completely missed that something, actually, rather important has been happening.
It looks like the research base in San Francisco. Crowley knows only a little about this; as the angel who created a fair few of the stars in the sky, he takes interest when humans start pointing their big magnifying glasses at them. Zefram Cochrane, the inventor of warp-speed engines, and a few other important looking men (who may well be important, what does Crowley know? He hasn’t been paying attention) welcomes three people. People, except they’re not human. Humanoid, perhaps, but human? No. Crowley can spot an alien a mile off.
“Crikey,” he mutters, hovering in his sparse living room with his dressing gown open and tea steaming.
Aziraphale nods fervently.
“Which ones are these?”
“These are the Vulcans,” Aziraphale explains. “Do you remember? Our colleagues -- oh, I forget their names -- a few of our colleagues helped set up. Erm.” Aziraphale purses his lips. “Well, their version of Eden.”
“Something like Sha Ka Ray, if I remember,” Crowley mutters, unblinking as he watches one of the Vulcans raise their hand in a v-shape, the humans mimicking.
“That was it! Sha Ka Ree.”
They’re wearing long, heavy cloaks. Even expressions, but glints in their eyes, as if they are taking some professional enjoyment out of this. The humans, barely containing their own excitement -- and probably a good dose of apprehension. Human beings, finally meeting an alien species who could take them down a notch, teach the buggers a couple of things. Crowley and Aziraphale certainly never managed to, much as they’ve tried. Far too stubborn.
After a while of sitting and watching the proceedings-- the beginnings of a new, enterprising delegation-- Crowley gives a long exhale.
“Those bowl cuts are questionable.”
Stardate: 53459 (17th July 2269)
“What? Just give them a quick ring? Give the flagship of Starfleet’s exploratory expedition a cheeky call, just to check in? ‘Hello Enterprise, nice to meet you’?”
“Yes. Why, do you not think that they’d appreciate it?”
“It’s less that they won’t appreciate it and more that it might blow their tiny minds, Angel.”
“They’ve met plenty of extraordinary species by this point -- extraordinary by their standards, anyway. A call from us will be -- how do they put it -- ‘a walk in the park’--?”
“Not the point. That’s -- that’s actually the bit that I’m struggling with, here. What is the point, exactly? What are you aiming to achieve? You looking to freak them out or…?”
“Well, I thought perhaps we could… ah. Tell them who we are.”
Aziraphale looks at Crowley. Red hair tied up, ringlets around his face; silver eye-shadow; a black jumpsuit in the style of the Terran fashion that really leaves very little to the imagination, with cut-outs here and there all over his body. Legs crossed, foot bouncing impatiently, arms sprawled across the back of Aziraphale’s sofa. In his old bookshop, Crowley always sticks out like a sore thumb, and he’s always loved that about him.
He tilts his head. “Really,” he drawls, vaguely amused.
“Yes. Don’t you think it’s about time?”
“IIIII dunno…” Crowley sucks air through his teeth contemplatively. “Never ends very well. Tell humans that angels and demons roam their planet and they get all agitated. Don’t need to tell you that, you remember how much it traumatised dear old Hieronymous. Couldn’t stop painting us, the poor bastard.”
Aziraphale sighs. “Yes, well, that was different. That was almost a millennia ago, now.”
The bookshop is still just as dusty as it has ever been. Crowley has been urging him to at least install a proper computer -- one that will answer to him, rather than sitting there stupidly, looking like a brick. But he is quite happy with it as it is, especially when he has Crowley here, lounging about as he’s always done, draped across the furniture like he’s still wrapped around that apple tree. And drinking more wine than is good for them.
“Right so -- let’s just role-play this--” Crowley’s glass makes a decisive clink against the table, “-- we patch into their network. Right? I find their frequency and just, try and call from my PADD.”
“Yes,” he confirms, not liking his partner’s tone of voice.
“So then they answer, all, military-like and ready for some sort of diplomatic… situation.”
“Mm…”
Crowley’s leaning forward in his seat, gesticulating a enthusiastically. “They see us, they’re all, ‘oi, how did you get this number?’ and we’re all, ‘sorry, just thought we’d pop in and introduce ourselves, we’re your new neighbours,’” he wrinkles his nose mockingly, “‘Cept we’re not new at all, not really, we’ve been here since the dawn of time, but don’t worry too much about that’.”
“Well--”
“So they’re all, ‘ah, immortal beings from outer space!’ and we have to explain that, actually, we’re not really from space at all, we’re the ones who made space, and no, sorry, we’d love to patch you through to God, except She’s been a little busy for the past six thousand odd years, no can do, just got us boring old sods’.”
“Crowley, really. Don’t you think you’re being a little reductionist?”
“No.” Suddenly serious. “I don’t. They’re humans. They’re brilliant, but they’re also humans, which means they’re also thick as shit.”
Aziraphale purses his lips, electing to ignore the love of his life for this moment. Sitting up properly, linking his hands in his lap. “I think it’s time.”
“And what do you think they’ll do?”
“Perhaps it will bring about some new, interesting philosophy. About the nature of the universe, of the overlap between science and faith.”
Crowley’s brow quirks, yellow eyes staring, wide and disbelieving. “Some ‘new and interesting philosophy’? Books. You’re talking about books. You think you’ll get some nice literature out of this.”
Aziraphale flounders. “Well, that’s not exactly how I’d put it--”
Crowley scowls. But then, he’s taking out his PADD from his purse, making aggravated noises as his fingers fly across the screen.
“You’re doing it?” Aziraphale asks hopefully.
“Yes, yes. You got all happy as soon as you started talking about it and-- I was never really going to say no, was I? You know how pathetic I am by this point, surely.”
He’s not looking at him, but Aziraphale is gazing with those big, angel-eyes that Crowley’s told him he uses sometimes. They drive him insane, but he can’t help it, not when Crowley’s being so unintentionally romantic. “Oh, Crowley.”
“Shhhht. Stop. I’m not doing anything nice, I’m--”
“Not nice, I know.”
Aziraphale smiles serenely. Crowley’s scowl deepens, just as the PADD begins to ring.
The screen is propped up against a wine bottle, just in time for the image to reveal a man. A man in green and gold, sand-blonde hair swept back and a look of cautious curiosity in his hazel eyes. Behind his chair, a woman in red is leaning over the controls. The captain’s head is angled slightly, tilted as he seems to consider his situation -- consider the two strangers who have called their starship.
“Greetings, this is Captain Kirk of the Starship: Enterprise. To whom am I speaking?”
“Oh, how exciting,” Aziraphale whispers, nudging Crowley a little. Then, more loudly, “Greetings, Captain Kirk! My name is Aziraphale, and this is Crowley.”
Crowley sighs, seeming very put upon.
Aziraphale nudges him again. “Well! Don’t be rude, Crowley.”
“Yes, hello, how very nice to meet you,” he simpers accordingly.
“This is a secure line, gentlemen. How did you access our co-ordinates?”
“Ah, yep, sorry, my fault,” Crowley waves a hand. “I’m -- well, we’re, er… we can do stuff. Lots of stuff. He’ll explain later.”
He shoots Aziraphale a glare, which seems to be a warning that this could go horribly wrong. Aziraphale, ever the opportunist, elects to ignore this.
“That I shall,” Aziraphale adds, pointedly.
Kirk thinks. He thinks, sitting so still as he leans towards the monitor, that for a moment, Azirpahale thinks the screen has frozen. Then, turning his head to his right, he notes that he is talking to someone. A certain someone who then appears on screen, a royal blue shirt and hands clasped behind his back. A Vulcan. The two converse with a silent look.
Ah. Aziraphale knows that look very well. 
“Be that as it may,” Kirk continues, turning back to them, “it is technically a federal crime to trace Starfleet co-ordinates and to contact a ship without first organising an official meeting. That is, unless it is an emergency.”
“Oh, yes, I have heard of your ship’s adventures, captain,” Aziraphale rushes. He puts down his glass of wine. “You’ve done an awful lot of good, helping those in need.”
“We… do our best,” he says with a slow nod.
“Sorry. For the, er… illegal call,” Crowley says.
Another moment where both men share a glance. And then, the Vulcan in blue tilts an inquisitive chin.
“Sir, may I enquire as to the colour of your eyes? They do not appear to be contact lenses.”
It takes a moment for Crowley to realise that he’s the one being addressed. Then, “Ah! Bollocks. Forgot the sunglasses-- see Aziraphale, this is why we don’t call Starfleet when we’ve had two bottles of Rioja.”
“Awfully sorry, dear--”
The captain looks up at his colleague with a wry smile and a raised brow. “Spock, don’t you think it’s a little rude to as a stranger questions about their appearance?”
“A stranger who has made contact with Starfleet’s flagship outside of legal parameters.”
“Still, politeness can go a long way,” he adds with a smirk, and a look in his eyes that’s, quite frankly, obscene.
Crowley clears his throat. “To answer your question-- although, seems like they’re more interested in each other,” he says to Aziraphale as an aside, “- to answer your question, yeah, they’re real. Snake eyes. Unfortunate accident involving a bastard called Lucifer.”
A pause. The man named Spock tilts his head. Kirk leans forward in his seat.
“Lucifer, you say?”
At that, Crowley gives a wicked smile. Aziraphale sighs. This wasn’t exactly how he’d imagined this conversation starting.
Stardate: 51650 (9th May 2271)
“My point is -- my point is -- tribbles. Tribbles, now -- whose idea were those, then? Who thought they were a good idea? They’ve -- they’ve not got faces, they’ve not got hands or feet or paws or anything, just, little balls of fluff that just poof! Reproduce, until you’re up to your tits in furballs.”
“Now, tha’s what ah been tryna tell yeh, captain. And you mind what he’s saying, too, Lieutenant Uhura! I know you thought they’s adorable, but they’re terrors.”
“Pointless, they’re pointless. Don’t know what they were thinking of when they made tribbles, whoever they were.”
“Aye! See, straight from the mouth of an angel!”
“Er, former angel.”
”Them wee bastards’ve been cloggin’ up my ship’s engine, would ye believe?”
 “Our ship, Scotty.”
 “Oh. Well, o’course, captain… I didnae mean no disrespect, captain--”
 “In Russia--”
“I swear, if you’re about to say that Russia invented tribbles, Chekov, I’ll kick you out of this here bar faster than you can say Alabama Slammer.”
“Alright, now, Bones, it’s shore leave. He can say what he wants. We’re all here to relax. Isn’t that right, Spock?”
“Yeah, he sure looks relaxed there, Jim.”
“I am not accustomed to frequenting such establishments.”
“I would like to state, for the wecord, sir, that I was not going to say that Russia inwented tribbles.”
“I -- ah -- actually, I have a bit of a confession to make in that respect…”
“Angel. Please. Please don’t tell me that you’re… Christ, you didn’t…”
“You are the angel responsible for creating the tribble species?”
“You have a lot to answer for, Aziraphale.”
“It wasn’t intentional! Or, rather, the intention was to simply create a creature so lovely and adorable that no one could quite resist it. And, I suppose, what with evolution and how that may have changed their, erm, reproduction process…”
“You bastard.”
“Crowley -- for Heaven’s sake, it was simply an accident! You can hardly say that it’s worse than some of your creations.”
“I invented Luton airport. You invented the universe’s most irritating pest. Honestly, I figured some lower ranking demon had been the one to come up with it, but now I feel, sort of… betrayed.”
“Don’t say that! May I remind you that you are the one who came up with the M25? Which nearly destroyed the universe as we know it!”
“I beg your pardon? Would you care to rewind and just, explain that last bit, Aziraphale?”
“Oh -- er, it’s a long story.”
“A very long story that would mean another round. Angel, you are definitely bloody-well buying.”
Stardate: 43897 (24th November 2366)
“You know, when you said that you wanted to check-in with Picard and the team, this isn’t what I imagined.”
Their call isn’t immediately picked up. However, when it is, the first thing they see is a large barbershop quartet. They’re all wearing pink, candy-stripe suits and wicker hats. The bridge of the Enterprise looks much the same as it did under captain Kirk, if not for this barbershop quartet, and perhaps a few technological tweaks. And, of course, the current captain who sits in his chair, face in his hand.
“Er.” Crowley looks at Aziraphale, who looks back at Crowley. “This doesn’t look like a good time.”
“No, by all means,” Picard gestures to the screen, other hand still covering his face. “If you have any advice to offer, then I will happily take it.”
“What…” Aziraphale trails off, purses his lips. The, trying to affect something light and airy, “What seems to be the problem, captain?”
Picard looks over the edge of his hand. “Are you aware of the being that calls itself ‘Q’?”
He’s about to say that he isn’t -- perhaps Crowley knows this Q?-- but before they even have a moment to deliberate, the tallest of the barbershop quartet members steps forward from the throng and hops down the steps to Picard’s side. Dark eyes that have seen too much, brightened by mischief. And for a moment, there is the faintest flicker of recognition as he doffs his hat to the screen, leaning against Picard’s captain chair.
“Good day to you, gentlemen. Did you like my song?”
“No,” Picard says quite firmly. “Now, would you please leave and take your pestering elsewhere!”
Q tuts, rolls his eyes. Pokes his thumb in Picard’s direction. “He’s just grumpy because he hasn’t had his morning cup of Earl Grey.”
“You…”
It’s Crowley that says this. Leaning forward on Aziraphale’s sofa, snake pupils narrowing. And it’s then that Aziraphale realises that this is absolutely someone they know. He just can’t put his finger on it, whilst Crowley clearly has.
“You know him?” Picard says, with the smallest flicker of hope.
“Wait. Wait a second now,” Q points his finger at Crowley, frown deepening. He miracles his hat away, cradles his chin. “Now, we worked together a long time ago, didn’t we?”
That makes Aziraphale stare back at Crowley.
There’s some hesitance. “Oh. Sure, probably. Long time ago, now, wasn’t it? Who knows. Worked with lots of people.”
“No, no, no -- we did a lot of creating with each other. Some fun messing around you know?”
“Er. Not sure. Might have a different person in mind--”
And then those eyes widen. A wicked grin on his face, and Aziraphale can only imagine that this Q must be a demon.
That’s when Aziraphale finds himself standing on the bridge of the Enterprise. Jean-Luc Picard looking up at them despairingly, whilst the rest of his crew work as diligently as they can with a quartet serenading them. Data, notably, is working with the utmost focus, whilst Wharf looks like he’s two seconds away from ripping something in half bare-handed. Riker looks no more patient.
“Oh,” Aziraphale remarks. “You’ve -- you miracled us here!”
No use, Q is far too preoccupied by Crowley. Pointing a finger in recognition. “You’re Crawly! I remember you! Oh, we got up to some good stuff together, huh? It’s been a long time since I’ve seen any of the guys from the Milky Way neighbourhood. You guys really like to keep to yourselves, I never understood it. Totally obsessed with your ‘Eden’ as if the rest of us don’t exist.”
“You o know him,” Picard says with some accusation.
Crowley looks, to put it lightly, a little embarrassed. Hands sliding in his pockets and averting his snake-eyed gaze, “Yup. Long time ago. Hung out with a different crowd, then, you got to understand…”
“Qasphiel.” The name bubbles up on Aziraphale’s tongue from nowhere; memories of a gaggle of angels who called themselves the Q Continuum, who were cast out for blasphemy. Creating your own little gang was never something that The Almighty did like. “You’re Qasphiel. You know, I do remember you, now that I think about it.”
Q looks Aziraphale up and down once. “I don’t remember you. Were you one of the more straight-laced types? Yeah, we wouldn’t have hung out, much.”
“Excuse me? I… I’ll have you know, that since then I’ve become quite the rebel--”
“What’re you doing here, Qasphiel?” Crowley interrupts with some exhaustion. “Coming in here and getting on everyone’s nerves -- believe me, I get that it’s fun for a while, but, come on. You must be a bit knackered of it now, no matter what the others are getting you to do.”
“Ah, but I don’t work on anyone’s terms any more. Not even the Continuum’s,” Q smiles smugly.
“That’s awfully nice, but the alternative is buggering off, so the rest of us can get on with our lives.”
He narrows his eyes at Crowley. “What’s in it for me?”
A weary sigh. And Aziraphale considers just how kind Crowley has always been, even if he doesn’t always see it. “Listen. How about -- what about a catch-up. Grab a drink on some planet in the Omicron Delta quadrant. Talk about old times? Big Bang and all that?”
“Ah yes,” Q sighs. Then, apparently distracted, “You know, I don’t recall the yellow eyes,” he gestures to his own. “The demonic thing. Did you fall with Lucy and the others, Crawly? Bad luck.”
“That’s a story that needs telling over a drink.”
There’s a long moment -- too long a moment -- where Q considers this offer. Picard is leaning back in his seat and watching the interaction over steepled fingers. Even Data has stopped to listen, head tilted in interest.
Then, Q shrugs.
“Alright. Let’s go.”
And with that, Picard’s bridge is once again empty of divine or immortal beings. Or barbershop quartets. It is extraordinarily quiet.
Picard lets out a long exhale. “Never a dull day.”
 Stardate: unknown
Three suns set upon the horizon of Alpha Centauri. Palm trees wave in the breeze; planted there a few decades ago when this planet first became populated by humanoid species. The air tastes like salt and smells like ozone. A burning orange sky, a deep purple scattering of stars directly above them. Small, clay houses, their shutters closed in the late afternoon heat. Mountain ranges in the distance, seeming so small from their little balcony.
“Total tourist trap,” Crowley mutters into his glass of Romulan ale.
Aziraphale stifles a burp. “Sorry?”
“Look at it. Tourist trap.” Crowley crosses his legs on the railing of the balcony. “All of it. Built like a Terran city, as well. Palm trees and all that bollocks. Shops and restaurants, Christ, it couldn’t get more human if you tried. When will they stop colonising and just learn to appreciate?”
“Mmm.”
“Remember when we could come here and not be harassed by people selling sunglasses? When it was just a big, ol’ expanse?”
“Empty,” Aziraphale remarks. Then, wide eyed, “Hot.”
They watch the first sun dip behind the mountain ranges. The Romulan ale burns Crowley’s throat nicely.
“D’you ever wonder what it would’ve been like?”
Aziraphale takes a slow, indulgent breath. And Crowley knows that he understands what he’s asking. “Sometimes. But I think it’s better that we didn’t run away. We did save the universe, after all.”
“I know, obviously. But do you ever wonder what would have happened if we hadn’t?”
Of course he does. They both have. Images of a war-torn universe, of all of this: gone.
Crowley drops his hand, finds Aziraphale’s. Their fingers link, and they absorb the light of three, alien stars.
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bambisfuneral · 4 years
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Warnings: Mentions of suicide
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Sunlight soon covered your half sleeping form, it made you throw your arm over your face to shield you eyes from the light. After what felt like ten minutes which was only ten seconds, you slowly sat up and stared at the bulletin board that hung above your desk. Instead of there being only two pictures, there were now four. The first one was a candid picture of you writing in her notebook, the second one was of Tendou with a wide smile holding up a peace sign and you in the background pouting at him.
“So you know how I said I used to be in your same position? I used to be a patient too, and in this psych ward. I just kinda..... I didn’t have anybody else admit me here I signed myself up, but with the way people treated me and how they talked to me, it sorta felt like they were the ones that made me sign up. It was like everything I did and said was wrong. Y’know I played volleyball when I was in school? That was where my heart was at, but people took it so serious. Like what’s the point in playing if you can’t have fun doing it?” I listened intently to everything he said nodding in agreement, it did suck being treated like you were beneath any and everybody so I knew how Tendou felt.
“That was my paradise, but my last year of high school, my team lost nationals and after that, volleyball for me was no more. Actually, all those guys you seen in the staff room? We were all on the same team, he wasn’t here but this guy Ushijima, I think he was my first true friend. He was never scared of me! To him, I was just another guy. Can you believe that? I was actually normal to somebody for once, I was never a monster. But I didn’t know that growing up, I was so used to people calling me a monster that I eventually became one........”
Tendou had stopped talking and I looked up from the food he gave me to look at him, he was looking up at the stars and he had a longing look on his face. Eventually a small smile replaced that, “I was lucky though, I healed eventually. Not everybody gets the chance to do that, so I wanted to do better and be better. So I went to college to be certified to be a doctor here, it feels nice being able to connect with people in this field. And then it feels even better knowing you played a part in making other people feel like they’re something, even if it’s just for a second”. He had looked over at me and his smile grew, “oh by the way, that’s Semi’s left overs so you might wanna thank him for that the next time you see him”.
The memory swallowed your mind and it was like you was glued to her bed as your eyes stuck to the picture of the red-haired doctor, he was an odd one. But he kept you company and was definitely a lot more accommodating than most doctors. Maybe you should just relax today. You rolled your eyes crossing your arms stubbornly. I’m being serious Y/N, you beat yourself up a lot for things that aren’t your fault. You don’t want Satori to come back tomorrow figuring out that you’re putting yourself in an unfixable predicament. “Kenma it’s fine! I told you that I got it under control, I’ve been feeling okay” Yeah Tendou’s right, you are full of shit. You watched Kenma hop up on your desk swinging his legs, “Oh I didn’t realize I was here to get tag teamed by you two” and you’re right, you’re not. You’re here to get better, but you can’t do that if you’re making yourself feel like crap all the time. I’m telling you, being around Satori’s gonna be a good change for you. You bit your lip and changed into a fresh set of clothes tossing your dirty ones in a corner.
“Hey doll, I know you’re not gonna like this very much, but I’m not gonna be here tomorrow. I got the day off and I got things I need to do, but I’ll drop you off some lunch and dinner so you don’t gotta eat the crap that they serve in the cafeteria. So.... what do you like?”
“So what am I supposed to do when he’s gone?” You muttered to yourself frowning. Ummm maybe socialize? Go eat breakfast? Maybe go talk to one of Satori’s co-workers? Kenma was talking to you like you were slow and it frustrated you but knowing he was just looking out for you, you decided to let it go. “Okay well I guess we can find that one guy I’ll Dr. Tendou was talking to in the staff room last night, it’d be easier if I could just ask around but I don’t know his-” Dr. Semi Eita, you’re welcome.
“Okay so it’s your turn to share now, and IIIII knooow you want to ask me stuff. I can see it on your face” Tendou’s eyes to match his sly smirk and he poked my cheek repeatedly before I slapped his hand away, “I mean.... you said you weren’t mad but I’ve never seen you lash out like that and it didn’t happen until after you and that guy talked”. I watched as his smirk dropped and his eyes darkened, “Doll you’ve never seen me lash out, not even in the least. So listen to me when I say I wasn’t mad. Now what else’s on your mind?” My lips pursed to the side as I looked away from him and clenched my fists together on my lap, his hands covered mine and he slowly opened my fists. I could tell by his gaze that he was still waiting for me to answer his question.
You walked up to the marbled counter with a glass wall surrounded it, behind the glass was an older bigger woman with brown hair which was starting to grey. Her fingers cracked against the keyboards for what seemed like a good five minutes before she stopped and looked up at you coldly. The woman was looking at her over her glass before pushing the frames to the bridge of her nose, “can I help you?”. You looked over at Kenma nervously and he was leaning against the wall with a thumbs up, you just huffed and turned back to the lady behind the counter. “Yes um.....” Y/N...... I swear, you spent eight minutes in your room just trying to figure out what you had to say and you spent an extra ten minutes reciting what you were planning on saying. Stop overthinking it and get it over with. This made her eyes widen and fists clench tightly, “I was wondering if I could see Dr. Semi? I’m assigned to Dr. Tendou but he’s not here today and he said if I needed to talk to somebody then to ask one of his doctor friends”
There was a moment of silence with the lady staring at her with amusement dancing in her eyes. A few seconds passed by before she pressed one of the buttons on a metal board off to the side, “Dr. Semi? Yes you have a patient here to talk to you, so if you would just come around to the front to come get her that’d be great. She said she’s one of Dr. Tendou’s patients”
“I was wondering if tonight could be our first official solo therapy? And maybe whenever we have them, we can have them up here?” I asked meekly only to be met with silence and then a thundering laugh, “That’s all? Yeah I doubt that was the only thing that’s been going through your brain these passed thirty minutes”. My lips curled downward while I shook my head, “Obviously not but I can’t just sit here and dump all my thoughts on you all at once!” A small smile was given to me which seem like a sign of appreciation, “Okay well we can start with that solo therapy then, how’s every Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday at eight sound?”
The man from last night came around the wall next to the counter and gave you a warm smile. “Dr. Semi?” He just nodded and reached his hand out for you to grab, “You can just call me Semi, it’s fine. Let’s go into my office” you followed behind him and you looked back to see Kenma grinning to himself. He gave you a reassuring smile before turning to leave, you wanted to call out after him but you felt eyes boring into the side of your head. When you turned back to face Tendou’s co-worker, he was looking at you with a patient look but sort of threw his head motioning to go walk inside his office, so into his office you went. As soon as you walked in he patted the other end of the sleek burgundy couch he was sitting on, “so, is everything okay? Tendou told you he was off today right?”
You just nodded your head making yourself comfortable on the cold material you were sitting on, “Yeah I just wanted to know if he’s gonna be back tomorrow, and I was kinda wondering if I could have a solo therapy session with you? And maybe you could record it so you can show it to Dr. Tendou?” Semi smiled softly at you nodding. “Yeah, of course! I’m assuming that things are going smoothly with you and him because of what you just asked of me? And thank you for feeling comfortable enough to talk with me” This made you mirror the smile on his face as you dropped your hands in your lap, “Yeah! I was pretty indifferent at first, but Kenma convinced me that this would be good for me. And yeah, I figured that if Satori knew you in high school and you were still friends that you couldn’t be all that bad. Especially with how he is....... but I have a question”
Demi’s eyebrows quirked up at the use of Tendou’s first name, he barely allows anybody to use his first name so it took him by surprise, his predicament must’ve been more serious than he let on. He stayed quiet but gestured for you to continue with your question, “Last night when you and him were talking, why did he ended up so...... not mad but....” you didn’t even know what to say to described how he was and how it felt being near him during that ride up to the roof but it seemed like Semi understood what you meant because he chuckled knowingly.
“Yeah see, it’s not really my place to tell you this, but I’m sure Tendou’s already told you about him being a passed patient here. He gets a certain attachment to people easily and he used to be very co-dependent to the individuals he was attached to, it was very unhealthy what he was going through. He’s actually still bettering himself about it. So he was just telling me some things and I was trying to understand the situation and tell him that things aren’t always what they seem, then he just..... sort of became frustrated. It’s hard to explain but I hope you understand, maybe tomorrow you can talk to him about it. Now about that session, let’s begin?” You nodded and on cue he hit the recording button on his voice recorder, “So Miss Y/N, why are you here?”
“So doll, are you gonna tell me why you’re here? Did you sign yourself up orrr....” Tendou didn’t finish the last part to his sentence but I understood where he was going with it, “um..... okay so I was actually signed up by my parents, back in my first year of high school. The doctors at the ward I was assigned to said nothing was wrong with me, but then my parents told them about my habits, how I acted, what I did, all that fun stuff, and so the doctors deemed me to have a type two bipolar disorder, schizophrenic, aaaand a compulsive liar”. I seen Tendou grinned to myself and my brow raised in confusion, “Yeah I seen the compulsive liar part in your files and I started questioning that, cause you haven’t been showing any signs of being a liar”
I huffed and rolled my eyes in irritation, “it’s because I’m not! My parents were so hellbent on trying to convince them that I was suicidal, but I’m not and I never was! I just know my life’s gonna be cut short eventually. But it’s life, it happens to everybody eventually so I was never phased by it and they just deemed it as me being suicidal...... okay so I lied, I was suicidal but that wasn’t until after they prescribed me Zoloft because of my bipolar disorder. After they started making me take Zoloft I was in a very dark place. I wouldn’t take showers for days, I never wanted to get up, I woke up everyday not seeing the purpose in life so I never wanted to do anything....... I was at the lowest of the low and I didn’t know what to do.”
I looked over at Tendou trying to read his face but he just smiled at me almost innocently which gave me the confidence to keep talking, “okay so this went on until I graduated high school. They had me taking online courses which didn’t go too well. But guess what? It turns out that the doctors at that specific ward were giving all the patients that were showing even a minor sign of being upset Zoloft because they knew that the patient would eventually commit suicide. So the ward shut down” the disgusted look on Tendou’s face matched mine and he frowned deeply. “It took..... three years for them to get that piece of shit ward to get shut down? That’s beyond me” I just exhaled a breath and pursed my lips, “Yeah I know, but they just ended up transferring me to a different ward but I was legally an adult so they gave me a choice and well..... I have a friend, he’s actually in this ward also! He actually convinced me to stay, but not for him. It was for my own benefit, me and him have been friends since elementary school!”
Tendou had a look of shock and confusion on his face, “oh..... really? What’s his name?” I nodded my head happily and smiled widely. “Kozume Kenma!”
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Tendou had just walked you back to your room and he was headed back to the staff room with long and fast steps, when he reached the door it swung open due to the force of him pushing against it. It slammed against the wall behind it and his friends were once again still sitting down at the table bewildered, “Tendou? What’s wrong?” He shook his head conflicted before pointing at his silver haired co-worker. “Come with me”
He led him into his office and walked up to his computer without closing the door behind him or sitting on his chair, he just pushed it out of the way. His fingers slammed against the keys rapidly, “What’s wrong now Tendou?” Semi came up behind him with a puzzled expression. Tendou just stayed quiet and kept typing on his computer, “Okay so look, Y/N said that she has a friend at this ward right? But if you look in our files, there are no results for a Kozume Kenma” Tendou mocked Y/N’s voice when he said his name, “She also mentioned that he was roomed with her. Buuuuuut if you got to the files of the first ward she was at, their files say a guy named Terashima was roomed with her”
Semi sucked a breath in before thinking silently, “We could make a call to the second ward she was transferred to and ask the big guys that work there about her” Tendou nodded deep in thought. “Yeah.... yeah that could work” it was silent as the phone line rang, Tendou tapped his fingers against his desk timidly and Semi was sitting down on the previously unoccupied rolly chair. The phone rang a few more times before a deep voice answered, and Tendou made eye contact with Semi. “Yeah this is Doctor Tendou Satori at the Shiratorizawa Psych Ward, who am I talking to?......Alright Mr. Kuroo, well I’m assigned to this woman, L/N F/N, that was recently transferred from you guys. She told me about a Kozume Kenma but there are no results of one in your files?”, Tendou hit the speaker button and the voice on the other line inhaled deeply before letting out a long sigh.
“Yeah..... there was no Kozume Kenma in our ward. But the three of us were friends growing up, Kenma actually committed suicide when we were in secondary school. That was when Y/N started showing major signs of depression and schizophrenia, she started seeing and hearing Kenma everywhere she went but when she transferred to our ward, I made sure that I was the one assigned to look after her. It seemed like she was getting better but I could tell being around me was holding her back from fully healing, so I transferred her again.” It was like Tendou and Semi were having a staring contest the entire time, Tendou’s lips were parted with a loss of words.
“Oh..... alright thank you for this new information, well have a good rest of your ni-” He was cut off by Kuroo, “Hey listen.... Tendou was it? How’s she doing? How is Y/N?” Tendou sucked air through his teeth feeling lost. “I thought it was going pretty good, but with what you just told me? It’s like I’m back at square one with her” The line was silent before a knock was heard on the other side, “Okay look, I gotta go but I’ll email you my personal number alright? We can talk more about it if you want, and maybe.... you can keep me updated on her?” He just nodded like the man was right in front of him to see.
“Sure thing, alright I’ll let you go. Have a good one” The phone clicked and Tendou sighed letting his head drop, “Semi?....... I gotta do it” he turned his head to the side to meet eyes with his friend and Semi just sighed crossing his arms. “Only if you genuinely feel like it’ll better her wellbeing”
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redjaybird · 3 years
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🌹 ☸️ 🎂 ✈️ 🎆 🦠
🌹- does my muse spoil a lover? Do they like to be spoiled themselves?
If he could figure out ways to do it, he would. Not having money usually and not really cooking (unless he does become willing to learn how) usually make it a bit harder to do. He does like being spoiled. He’s not used to it, but he likes it.
☸️- does my muse believe in reincarnation?
Iiiii don’t actually know if he does actually canonically. It was more like an easter egg joke I had that he was reincarnated between universes or something.
🎂- does my muse celebrate birthdays? Why or why not?
(You saw him on his birthday.) He likes making a big deal out of his. And if he actually cares about someone, he’ll try to do something for them.
✈️- how does my muse prefer to travel?
Well, technicals are a thing. Sand skiffs were fun. And cyclones on Promethea because basically biker kinda thing.
🎆- how does my muse react to change?
Things being the same all the time does get boring, after all. He gets tired of repetitiveness pretty easily. And chaos always brings forced change.
🦠- does my muse get sick often?
Uhhhh, not really, I guess. (That’s more Troy. Something’s gotta be just a Troy thing.)
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pseudoneiriic · 4 years
Text
GET TO KNOW THE BLOGGER.
can be used for rp   &   non-rp blogs to get to know a bit about the person behind the screen   !
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1. FIRST NAME:   pan  (no you are not getting the full version of my first name)
2. STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF:   to no one’s great surprise, i love writing and get depressed when i dont write something every day
3. TOP THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON:   them: physical things me: having a contagious laugh, being cuddly, being talkative and passionate
4. A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF:   curry chicken, highkey. also penne bolognese
5. A FOOD YOU HATE: tomatoes. no one should ever eat raw tomatoes. i also really hate pickles, and... honestly i hate a lot of food i am extremely picky
6. GUILTY PLEASURE:   i, uhhh.... tend not to keep secrets, like even if i feel guilty about liking something i can and will infodump about it and generally be really open about liking it. i guess, uh... oh god, i used to read this french comic series when i was a teenager, and that was HIGHKEY my guilty pleasure at that age. i just found it in my local bookshop and i was like.... . . .  swea t s . . ... .. . . ive never read this in my l i  fe
7. WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN: nightgowns! i have the same one in three different colours and i just swap them out.
8. SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS:   serious relationships...
9. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE:   iiiii uh... tend not to think on these questions too much. like, i try not to look back at the past and think, man, i should have changed that. it’s just not conducive to my lifestyle. i try not to stay fixated on things i can’t change. so, you know, maybe i’d go back in time and destroy my abuser before he could hurt me, but i dont know what kind of person i’d be now if that never happened.
10. ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON:   yyyyes? probably, honestly.
11. A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN: meet the robinsons meet the robinsons m
12. FAVORITE BOOK:  i don’t really have a favourite book tbh? a series of unfortunate events has been a longtime fave, as well as enid blyton’s mysteries series. i also really loved the wish list by eoin colfer. sobs can you tell i read extensively as a child and then never picked up a book again. ok real talk though i DID read the long walk and i do love it. thank you lizzie for the food
13. YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE:     GOAT!!!! A GOAT!!!!!!!!
14. TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS [IF YOU ARE AN RP BLOG, YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN SHIPS AS WELL]:  in no particular order: hinata / natsumi, seven / zen, franziska / maya, ray / pete, kouta / ryou (im sorry charlight and akiteru i did you dirty.......)
15. PIE OR CAKE:   cake!!
16. FAVORITE SCENT:     uhhh... paper, or vanilla
17. CELEBRITY CRUSH:   lizzie
18. IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO:   ummm... probably marseilles, and obviously paris too i just particularly want to visit marseilles
19. INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT:   me, shaking: a-ambivert
20. DO YOU SCARE EASILY:   yes.... i pretend like i dont but i do
21. IPHONE OR ANDROID:   iphone!
22. DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES:   i play every video game (im kidding i just...... animal crossing soon.......)
23. DREAM JOB:   any job where i get to work with kids one-on-one or in small groups, and im able to help them learn healthy coping strategies
24. WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS:   thinking about the real estate market where i live. i’d buy a condo and hope no one else can pay more than me
25. FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE:   im shaking. i hate hagakure. i dont even really have a good reason for it he is just mean and rude to all my faves
26. FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER:   do i ever truly leave fandoms? well, i left animal crossing community, so i guess there’s that.
Tagged by: @idollatry  😭😭😭😭😭😭 Tagging: lizzie tagged like All of my friends so @godmotif @androphobias and im too tired to tag anyone else pls steal it from me if you wanna do it!!
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ice-cream-nekogirl · 5 years
Text
Tag, You’re It!: Shinsou x Witch!Reader (END!)
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Part 6 to Part 5: https://chocolatekitsune.tumblr.com/post/181969628794/tag-youre-it-shinsou-x-witchreader-pt-5
Pt. 6: Tagged (Final!)
“TAG!! YOU’RE IIIII…” In your rush, you didn’t see that Bakugou rather easily ducked out of the way before you could tag him, and instead your palm pressed onto someone else’s chest. Blinking, you slowly and reluctantly stared up to see a VERY angry looking Aizawa who glared down at you with his angry, glowing red eyes.
“(Y/N)…”
A gulp was heard from you. Bakugou ALMOST felt sorry for you, but at the same time he couldn’t help but smirk and snicker a bit, especially since this just meant that YOU were the loser in the end.
Nervously, you grinned and held your hands up. “I know you’re mad Mr. Aizawa but to be fair… to be fair… to be fair…” You took a long, dramatic moment of silence before continuing your sentence. “Today was boring as hell. And we needed a goddamn break, so… that’s why I told them all to play tag, it’s all on me. Give me punishment but not them.” Finally, you owned up to starting the game, much to everyone’s surprise. However, of course their respect for you went up a little bit when you took responsibility.
As for Aizawa, he sighed a bit and pinched the bridge of his nose. “While it’s good that you’re owning up to what you started… don’t think this means you’re off the hook for fooling around instead.” He visibly softened but wasn’t going to NOT give you punishment since once again, you completely disobeyed and went against his rules.
“So I’m not in trouble?” You asked with a cheeky smile, even though it just served to irk your teacher. “No. You’re definitely in trouble.” He replied quickly, but he remained calm and unflappable even though you always manage to get under his skin. Sighing, you took that, but to your surprise…
“A game of tag?! Why didn’t anyone tell me?!” All-Might suddenly arrived, and in his heroic form with his trademark smile that never ceased to amaze your classmates.
“A-All-Might?!” You and Midoriya exclaimed in surprise and awe, wondering just when exactly he got here. However, you started to grin now that the ex-hero was here and raised your hand. “Yes! Young (L/N)?”
“Sir… I’m sorry I didn’t invite you. If you were here boy that would have made things a TON more interesting…” You admitted with a smirk, but you flinched when All-Might went into a coughing fit and reverted to his weakened form. Though his attitude remained the same…
“I see… it’s a shame… I used to play that game all the time when I was a school boy… I’m assuming that you brought up this game in hopes of improving on evasive skills while allowing your classmates to utilize their quirks?” The ex-hero asked you, and you just innocently nodded. “Yes sir. That’s exactly why I brought up this game… AND… admittedly I wanted to have some fun… I mean I get that we’re heroes in training and all, but my friends and I needed to have a little bit of fun too.” You added, and the look of understanding on All-Might’s face was all you needed to know that he wasn’t going to be mad at you for it.
“Hm. I see. I suppose you kids ARE still young…” He let out a sigh. “With all the ordeals you’ve had to suffer, this wasn’t a bad idea… I can tell that you all had some fun in this.” All-Might deducted when he saw a few bit of smiles (except from Bakugou and Todoroki of course) and sensed mostly positive and youthful energy from the students.
“EXACTLY.” You smiled and nodded up at the hero, who smiled back at you.
“And how did you fare in this game Young Midoriya?” All-Might then asked his protégé, who perked up and started to sweat a little bit. “Oh… um…”
But then you put your arm around your second best friend with a snicker, “Sorry All-Might… but as soon as I tagged Bakugou, he tagged Greenie here… sure he managed to evade everyone else, at least I think he did, so… meh… he did his best.” You answered for him, much to the green-haired boy’s embarrassment.
“(Y-Y/N)…! Don’t say it like that…” Midoriya blushed, especially with how close you were as you practically hugged him tight. The only thing that alarmed him was the smirk rising on your face. “Hey All-Might… why don’t YOU play with us this time? I lost the first game… but another one’ll do, it’ll be more of a challenge… anything goes…” You suggested, and most of your class all gasped lightly at the idea of another game of Tag when the first one was pretty intense yet thrilling.
“No.” Aizawa said flatly, but All-Might was quick to take up your offer, and in turn he took up his strong form yet again. “An excellent idea young (L/N)!” He exclaimed, and you threw your fists in the air.
“YES! It’s anything goes now! Thirty minutes this time! Mr. Aizawa’s it though! Cuz I tagged him last! Let’s go!” Immediately you took off running, grabbing Midoriya’s hand as he shouted in shock but let you take him away from your teacher. And you were pleasantly surprised to see that many of your classmates were glad to follow you and split up to find someplace to hide.
As for Aizawa. He took a huge sigh, seeing that for once there was nothing he could do, or rather he COULD if he really wanted to but at this moment, secretly he decided that this wasn’t too bad. His students earned a day of playing after everything they’ve been through.
“Use your quirks! Don’t hesitate! And don’t leave yourself wide open!” All-Might called out to the running teenagers but flinched once he felt a hand tap him on the back, and he turned to face the grinning pro-hero.
“Tag. You’re it.” He said, and reacted quick by getting away fast, much to the shock of the ex-hero. However, he nonetheless laughed it off and kept smiling.
“NOW I AM IT!” All-Might declared, which of course startled you and all your friends as everything quickly turned chaotic as soon as he tagged Bakugou and the last thing you remember is that Bakugou proceeded to tag you, and then you tagged Todoroki, and everything went downhill from there…
“TAG! YOU’RE IT!!”
“No I’m not! You’re it!”
“Tag, you’re it…”
“Tag!”
“Tag! You’re it.”
“No You’re it!”
“Tag! You’re it!”
“Now you’re it!”
It was full-on madness, yet you weren’t complaining. However, the last thing you expected was for Present Mic to show up and get tagged by Kaminari. Or for Present Mic to start tagging the teachers in the school, which lead to the students in Class B, Class C, Class D and the General Studies students…
“AHAHAHAHA~! You weren't careful enough~ And now you’re it!” Monoma was the first to instigate the wide-spread game of tag, as he started off by tagging Tetsutetsu, who was all too enthusiastic about the game as he and his classmates started tagging each other, and then some left to tag the students in General Studies...
“TAG YOU’RE IT NOW!”
“Tag! You’re it!”
“HA! Now you’re it!”
“TAG!”
“YOU’RE IT!”
“TAG!!”
“TAG YOU’RE IT!”
“HAHA! I DID THIS! I AM A GOD!!” You cheerfully shouted in between all of the chaos when seeing every student running around in the wicked game you wove, missing the annoyed sigh coming from Shinsou as he stood behind you, along with the very nervous trio of Midoriya, Uraraka, Iida and a perplexed Todoroki watched all of the madness…
5 Hours Later…
Everyone was surprisingly exhausted from all the running around and relentlessly tagging each other, but they came back feeling somewhat happy and partially relieved from one of their only days of free-spirited fun. Especially because they knew that this would be one of their few days of fun since next week will have them go back to training, and probably twice as much homework as punishment from Aizawa.
And on top of that, it turns out there was one winner…
Hagakure. Who wasn’t tagged once because nobody could find her due to her invisibility. “Yay! I won! I won!” The invisible girl chirped, now in clothes that let her be partially seen as she happily cheered with the girls, as the boys all gloomed a little bit.
“She had the best advantage…”
“There’s no way…”
“Any of us could have seen her…”
Sero, Kirishima and Kaminari each muttered a bit in defeat, since they definitely got tagged more than once during the second round of tag. However, both boys still had fun, and secretly wanted to play it again sometime.
As for you…
Needless to say, you definitely got in trouble for starting a game of Tag that spiraled out of control when EVERYONE in UA started participating with the help of All-Might and spread out to the rest of the school. However, because All-Might took responsibility you only thankfully had to do ALL the chores and clean-up in the dorms and everyone’s rooms.
“Hehe… I don’t know why people complain about this, it’s so easy.” You said breezily as you used your telekinesis to easily carry everyone’s trash to throw away, without any effort of course. Something that you never ceased to flaunt to your friends as you happily walked and hummed now that you were finished.
“You played good today!” As soon as you saw Bakugou, you grinned widely at him even though he just growled and glared at you. “Shut up you damn cheater! I wouldn’t have even had to play if you hadn’t tagged me in the first place!!” He shouted angrily, obviously not as happy or relieved as the others since today felt like nothing but a waste of time. In fact, it felt just like elementary school.
“Ah you’re just mad cuz you didn’t win.” You replied neutrally and smirked at the seething blonde.
“That’s coming from the first loser! I did a hell of a lot better than you did! All you did was fuck around!!”
“That’s right, and I loved it! And you know what? I’d do it again!” You stuck your tongue at him, passing by as he huffed in annoyance.
“Idiot…”
“Good night~.” However, you sang-songed to him one last time, almost smirking when glanced at you before scoffing at you.
Smiling, you rolled your eyes. ‘What an ass.’ You thought to yourself, but you were glad to see another friend who wasn’t a frenemy. “Toto!”
“(L/N)”.
“So… did you have fun today?” You asked him that question repeatedly today, and finally he gave you a satisfactory answer along with a little smile and chuckle of amusement.
“More than I thought.” He admittedly calmly, but your reaction was pretty much the opposite as you grinned and laughed triumphantly. “AHAHAHA~! I knew it! I knew I’d get you to have fun somehow!”
“As I recall, you had said that I ‘didn’t know how to have fun’.” His smile turned into a small smirk, causing your eyes to widen in genuine surprise, but your smile returned as you clapped your hands. “Shouto… you son of a bitch you are full of surprises… ha! Well… I can’t tell you how glad I am to hear that. I was hoping you’d be able to loosen up after a dull-ass week of training.” You gave him a thumbs-up and a pat on the shoulder, but you were confused when he looked just a little bit nervous.
“You’re not tagging me are you?” Even though the game was over, he had to ask you. Blinking twice, you burst into laughter, and thankfully to Todoroki you didn’t see him blush a warm pink because he initially thought you were laughing at him.
“Oh God no, no not tonight… I’m in quite a lot of trouble, if I started another game… I mean, it’d be hilarious, but Mr. Aizawa will probably kill me if I started something at this hour.” You nervously admitted, much to your friend’s amusement.
“Good point. Well… thank you for today. I never played Tag until today, it was surprisingly enjoyable. I understand it now.” He politely thanked you, his smile doing something to your chest as you blushed and felt a little bit bashful. “Aww… you’re welcome Toto.” You exchanged smiles and then you giggled a bit.
“We gotta do that AGAIN though.” You declared. Todoroki didn’t complain, in fact his pleased expression was enough for you to know that he was down for that.
“I won’t mind that.” He affirmed for you, making you giggle and clap your hands excitedly, “Yaaaay~. Hee-hee… good night Shouto~.” Waving at him almost flirtatiously, this time you saw Todoroki blush as he smiled at you, almost nervously, yet his reply was still calm. “Good night (Y/N).”
Afterwards, you could go to your dorm-room happy that everyone, well mostly everyone had fun and you got to have the day full of excitement you had been looking for.
“Hey.” And Shinsou sitting in your bed with his casual, lazy demeanor sparked even more excitement in you even though you were secretly surprised. “Hitoshi~!” But you weren’t complaining at all as you quickly flipped your shoes off and plopped right next to him on your bed.
“Today was pretty wild eh?” Giggling, your remote floated over to you and landed right in your hand and shut your door with your mind.
“What do you expect? When you make a plan, everything’s wild.” He replied to you in a deadpan tone, but he did give you a smile to indicate that despite the craziness, it WAS fun. Aside from the way Todoroki looked at you.
“Haha you know it… but it’s cool now… well... since there's no Madison to bother us, thank God... Aristocats?” You smiled at him, getting out the DVD as Shinsou’s smile grew just a little bit more. And it warmed your heart knowing that those smiles were for you, and only you.
“Yes.” Shinsou nodded as you grinned and giddily giggled, happily putting the movie in your player and pressing ‘play’ to start it up. Sitting nice and close to a somewhat flustered, now bashful looking Shinsou.
“Hey… Hitoshi. What is it you wanted to tell me? Before I called Todoroki you looked like you wanted to say something, what was it?” You then asked him because you remembered that Shinsou seemed like he had something to tell you before you got distracted by Todoroki. However, once you brought that back up Shinsou started to blush more than he wanted, and for once he was at a loss for words as he averted your eyes and struggled to come up with an explanation.
“Oh, right... I was only going to say that…” He began slow, which you found a little odd since Shinsou wasn’t the type to be so hesitant, and you had no idea how nervous you were making him with the way your (E/C) eyes practically stared into his soul. Secretly, he thanked all the deities for making you not have the power to read minds, you had a variety of powers but thankfully you weren’t a clairvoyant like Nan, that one witch you often mentioned. As much as he wanted to tell you, something kept him from doing so. Fear? Maybe... 
“Your shoe was untied the whole time.” Shinsou finally settled on a lie, far from his best one but it was all he could come up with on the spot. Blinking, you made a bit of a face. “No it wasn’t…” You were sure that couldn’t have been true, although you didn’t really pay attention to your shoes at the time, but you had no idea that Shinsou was denying that.
“It was at the time. You weren’t paying attention.” You pouted and grunted in light annoyance at the way he smirked at you, now you were starting to think that your best friend had just been messing with you as he often did, but you never really minded. That was just yours and Shinsou's thing. 
"Whatever. The movie's starting." Now it was your turn to smirk as you scooted closer towards him. As your sides touched you hugged his arm and deliberately placed your head on his shoulder purely to fluster him. And you had to resist the urge to snicker when you felt him shaking slightly. Shinsou swallowed hard as his face flushed very hot from the proximity. You little witch...
But instead of shying away, he slowly brought his arm around you, making you nearly jump in surprise as you looked up at him in surprise, purple eyes locked with (E/C) eyes in a stare before he smiled at you, "Tag. You're it." He said to you playfully. His tone causing you to blush as you coyly smiled back at him, and nuzzled into him warmly as the Aristocats' opening song played.
"And now you're it~."
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omfgthelife · 6 years
Video
Track: Ellie Goulding ✕ Bon Iver - Lights ✕ Calgary
Video Samples Source: Chaalbaaz - Tera Beemaar Mera Dil
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TL;DR version: I'm pretending to make music. Somewhere in 2007-08, I got introduced to the idea of "internet mash-up artist" when a friend living in the US sent me a link to one of the first mash-up artists to go viral on the Internet, DJ ToToM. He mixed everything we were listening to then. It was fascinating to listen to something like Bob Dylan through the gaze of The Pixies. It's a different song, it's the same two songs but now it's different. It means something else now. Yeah, you can still be attached to each of the two (or more) songs that make the mashup as well. But it's just that they were made for each other also.
Since then, mashups have become a part of my library. Every now and then, I go looking for some new mashup artist who is utterly mindblowing when it comes to their matchmaking abilities. Others just make remixes, where they take an electronic sample beat and then speed up/slow down two tracks to match beat with that sample beat and play them on top of it. Or my nemesis: Bands who play two covers clearled stitched together one after the other. Yes, I'm a mashup hipster. A mashup is all about sampling. If you're doing anything other than sampling then you're making music (it may even be amazing) but you're not making a mashup. A mashup is about an alternative reality's pop culture (as defined by all alternative reality references/imagined in popular culture).
2010 onwards, mashups became my way of celebrating New Year's Eve. Two of the biggest viral mashup hitmakers Dj Earworm and Daniel Kim would release their own year-end specials -- a mashup of the Billboard top 50 tracks of the ear -- titled United States of Pop and Pop Danthology. (In my head, it's like the mashup boxing match of the year. I'm sure neither of the two artists think that way.) Then I compare notes between the two mashups. Who made the smoothest, coolest mashup with songs put together in the least forced way possible. All of this is dependent on my own judgement of course, not some standardized guide or musical knowledge. Every year, I've spent a couple of days on Audacity trying to see if I can mash songs together before realising I know shit about creating music and giving up. (I actually know nothing, I love listening to music though.) I tried reading hack guides and watching terrible videos about how to extract vocals from a song. (Hey, it never works for anything but the song they're demonstrating in the video.)
Somewhere in 2011, I discovered Girl Talk. He has taken ‘mashup artist’ to a whole new level. His mashup albums are a like a reflection in the entire genre that would be made of mashups and samples. In his discography, you'll find everything from banging dance numbers to just good soulful listens to sometimes even an exploration in noise. I'm not sure I'll ever go that deep into the art/craft of mashups. You must listen to at least one full Girl Talk album to know what I'm talking about.
Recently, I started following oneboredjeu on twitter, who I consider perhaps one of the finest mashup artists that lives on the Internet. I walked into her YouTube channel for the Gambino and Gorillaz mashups and stayed for everything else. Among her recent uploads, her Sia-Lorde and SZA-Ariana Grande mashups are to die for. Through her, I found Raheem D. His Lil Kim-Ariana Grande mashup is da bomb. That was when I also discovered there was a mashup artist scene and their own space on social media. Reading them discuss mashups, hearing their uploads, I learnt two key things which I used when I restarted my attempts at mashing songs on Audacity:
1. It's best if songs are on the same key and close to each other in BPM (beats per minute) count. Because I know shit about making music, I couldn't guess what key any given song was, and I could never count beats already. 2. You can't just cut vocals out of a song like it works with image editing (which I had learnt already). Mashup artists source their stems (different tracks that make a song: vocals, strings, percussion, or the complete instrumental backing track) from all over the Internet.
Finally, we're at how did I end up here. A few weeks ago, I was hanging out with a friend from Chile. Our usual scene was sitting on his couch, and having a YouTube party where we'd keep showing each other videos or music. That day, the moment I entered his house, he jumped up.
"Duude! Do you remember the Asereje song?" He was doing the step. "The Tomatina girls or something?" "Yes, yes! That one." "We just called it the Ketchup song in India." "That's not the point. Somebody finally figured out what the gibberish part of the song was!" "There was a gibberish part?" "The lines that come after Asereje are all gibberish!" "They're not Spanish? They sound so much like Spanish!" "Yes, they do but they're Spanish gibberish. If you understood Spanish, you'd know." "So what's the meaning of Asereje?"
He then played a video from a Chilean news channel where they were reporting that a dude on Twitter had cracked the Asereje code. So in Spanish, the girls are singing the story of Diego. One night Diego is wrecked on alcohol and drugs and arrives at a club. The DJ starts playing a song, which happens to be Diego's favourite song. Y la baila (And he dances), y la goza (and he enjoys it) y la caaantaaa (and he siiings): Aserejé, ja deje tejebe tude jebere Sebiunouba majabi an de bugui an de buididipí Sebiunouba majabi an de bugui an de buididipí Sebiunouba majabi an de bugui an de buididipí So Diego's favourite song iiiiis: I said a hip hop, hippie to the hippie The hip, hip a hop, and you don't stop, a rock it out Bubba to the bang bang boogie, boobie to the boogie To the rhythm of the boogie the beat
Rapper's Delight! Yes, that blew my mind and I can no longer take The Ketchup Song lightly. I have regrets for taking it lightly when I was in college and the song was a sensation.
So at this end of this long detour in my mashup story: I got home that night and tweeted, asking the Internet for a mashup of The Ketchup Song and Rapper's Delight. Someone from my twitter social life was equally mindblown and asked for the same. Something hit me then and I made this just ffs. I'd successfully managed to get vocals only tracks of Rapper's Delight and The Ketchup Song, and an instrumental version of The Ketchup Song to put together that short clip -- in my head, it was more of a proof of concept that I can mashup AND that the guy from Chile was right, Asereje IS Rapper's Delight. Last Monday, I got bored one evening and also was itching to see if I could get even close to making a mashup. So as usual, my mashup attempt of 2017 was underway. I googled to see if somebody had compiled a song keys database and ta-da: I found Audio Keychain. While just clicking through their database to see if any song strikes me in particular that I wanted to try using in a mashup. I found Katy B's 5AM, which I really like. A reverse search told me that Blue Oyster Cult's hit The Reaper had the same key and almost the same BPM. There it was decided, for my first attempt, I was going to mash these two songs together. I found the Katy B stems on some filesharing platform after some searching. A decent instrumental (backing track) version of The Reaper on YouTube was found much easily and downloaded. I worked for a couple of hours and made an almost 2-minute draft. It was working but I hit a creative block there onwards. So I exported the 1:48 clip to mp3 from Audacity and sent it to the friend who first introduced me to ToToM and went to sleep.
The next day at office, I played the mashup over and over again to see if still made sense. I made a colleague listen to it because I was confident that I had no distance and it would sound amazing to me. He said, "I haven't heard either of these songs but I like this song I'm hearing." That was hella encouraging. Although, I was sure that it was a fluke that I managed to make that one. If I try once again, I'll fail miserably. On Wednesday, I opened Audio Keychain and decided to try again. After some hits and misses, I finally ended up with Billy Idol's Dancing With Myself (backing track) and David Guetta/Nicki Minaj/Bebe Rexha's Hey Mama (vocal track). After the first draft, there were lots of empty spaces for which I didn't find any vocals that fit. So I added the chorus from Charli XCX's Boom Clap, which doesn't really fit as well as the first two songs with each other. But it was all sounding pleasant and I hadn't fucked up as miserably as the last seven years.
Thursday evening, I didn't even think twice. I got home, logged onto Audio Keychain and started looking for tracks to mashup. A lot of random and terrible experiments later, Ellie Goulding's Lights and Bon Iver's Calgary seemed like they had promise together. Unfortunately, just like the bad Charli XCX stem from the previous mashup, I found a below-par vocals only track for Lights. I didn't actually care because all I wanted to see was if I could make a decent mashup again. I really, really liked how the two tracks came together. Hence, this decision of publishing the mashup. I would've published on Thursday night itself but I think I was too happy about how these two tracks worked together. I felt this track needed a video. And in a vision due to a fuckton of sleeplessness, Sridevi and my favourite song from Chaalbaaz came to mind - Tera Beemaar Mera Dil. So then I downloaded the best available YouTube video for that song and started to work on it. After quite a few drafts, a low-end machine, where every render takes 2 hours and the only way to see the video is to render it because otherwise everything starts malfunctioning due to the load, here's the final mashup video for a mashup track.
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lightningflash55 · 7 years
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Thoughts Dump on Season 7 Episodes 10-13
Shall we do this little read more thing here cause this is going to get long? Probably. Def open for talking about them if you decide to read all the way through! I’m up for some good MLP discussion.
A Royal Problem
Can I just start by saying how much I LOVE that we got an episode that actually has more in depth on the Princesses? I’ve been aching for one for forever, and honestly it feels like we’ve gotten more Luna over time cause she’s the one who’s had bigger problems that she’s needed to sort out. 
CELESTIA THOUGH, you cannot tell me she’s the boring blob that being the princess she is demands her to be all the time. This is why I need moreeeee. Give me Celestia’s wild side PLEASE.
On that note, I love how good she is at covering it up compared to Luna. Issues? Don’t fret my little ponies, they are being solved and I assure you, everything is alright. She’s just so GOOD at her role in being the one that takes everything just to make everyone else’s lives easier and brighter. Dang Celestia, how do you do it. Also the personality contrast between she and Luna is still great and it also shows their age/experience difference. 
The Twilight music box was a good example of how wonderfully odd this show can be and how, after 7 seasons, it continues to catch me off guard. I LOVE IT.
CELESTIA MAKES PANCAKES FOR EVERYPONY IN THE MORNING. I DIED. She is far too good and I highly appreciate the fact that she enjoys cooking, especially such silly yet comforting things?? Lmao
Not that I didn’t see it coming (I mean duh, but it’s just been awhile), but also holy heck is she a morning person. This is definitely where I connect to Luna more, and I love her snark.
Both the Princesses are just too good tbh, they both try so hard and do so much good in their own ways. LIKE HOW CONCERNED LUNA WAS ABOUT THE FUNDRAISER EVEN THOUGH IT WASN’T HER USUAL DUTY. She tried and immediately failed and felt super bad about it. All because she can’t hold a smile sjflksdjfjhdfj
Was telling my sister the whole time that nobody would ever, ever be as bold as Starlight Glimmer and that’s why this episode worked, and so I was glad Luna said nearly the exact same thing at the end. Applause for Starlight tbh.
Daybreaker’s design tho. On a more personal note, I was admiring her snarly face the whole time cause it’s definitely the closest design i’ve seen in the show so far that would work for Kelpie shape-wise. Putting that note aside if I ever try to do canon style stuff with my OC’s!
Luna’s dream was legitimately creepy for a show that seems to tone stuff down so much. There are like, magic battles and villains and stuff, but rarely does something strike me as dark? Maybe it’s just me. 
THAT’S IT FOR THIS ONE, I probs give it a 9/10
Not Asking For Trouble 
I don’t want to get too into this one, but for quite awhile Pinkie’s characterization has bothered me. Compared to the first few seasons, it seems recently she’s been over the top to the point of making others upset, but not even in a silly Pinkie way. It almost came across as less annoying others, but using her silly personality as a cover to let her freely say mean things? I’m not sure what happened there, but it sorta rubbed me the wrong way and this was just a good example of Pinkie being Pinkie. 
She went with everything the Yaks said and tried to understand them and fix the issue without being too much of a bother to them! That’s the Pinkie I know! I was honestly waiting for disppointment and was relieved when it didn’t happen. 
Not sure if this is an unpopular opinion or a lot of people thought this too, but what can I say, some episodes just seem more consistent than others
7/10?
Discordant Harmony
I FLIPPIN LOVE DISCORD
HE’S SUCH A BABY AND A PROTECTIVE GRUMP, DEFINITELY THE UNCARING OUTSIDE MUSHY INSIDE CHARACTER THAT I LOVE 
HE’S SOOOOOO ODD IN THE BEST WAY 
I reminded my little sister of this 50 times during the episode. I just feel the need to emphasize how much I love my dumb noodle horse dragon at all times. 
I don’t specifically like or dislike Fluttercord but you gotta admit there’s some good cheesy content here. THEY’RE CUTE FRIENDS AAAAA
Sometimes I wonder what the inside of Discord’s head looks like if he appears that crazy on the outside. Just, his mind must work in a very different way lol
THE SINGING GINSENG IS CUTE I WANT 100
I still marvel that the Discord we first saw is so taken by Fluttershy in such a legitimate way, but I am starting to get it. I suppose that his thing was always just chaos and messing with others and not necessarily being evil, and that’s probably what got me. He iiiiis kind of an attention hog so honestly, making friends that allow him to be his chaotic self around them is probably a fair compromise. Still, sometimes.
Explain to me though why he needed to go to 5 different stores to get things he could’ve just conjured up himself. Smh he likes to make things difficult and it pains me!! Stop being such a drama queen, but also don’t xD
Did u see the part where he hyperventilated into the bag but his neck expanded instead. Okay top wacky cartoon humor LOL
“Do something chaotic Fluttershy” “Oh no, I tipped over that cup!” MY SISTER AND I HAD A GOOD LAUGH AT THAT FLUTTERS PLS
There was probably an even mix of me expressing my love for discord and shaking my head actually. They go together hand in hadn though, no?
Hmm this one was also probably 9/10
The Perfect Pear
WHAT CAN I EVEN SAY ABOUT THIS EPISODE 
IT JUST GOT ME GOOD
IT WAS NICE TO GET BACKSTORY ON APPLEJACK’S PARENTS AND EQUAL PARTS HAPPY AND SAD
I MEAN THEY DEF AREN’T AROUND ANYMORE, DON’T THINK THERE WS ANY OTHER WAY TO READ THE IMPLICATIONS 
SO MANY GOOD FEELS
Just story and writing wise though this episode was so well done. There are always the funny episodes and everyone has their own favorite for reasons or because of their favorite characters, but sometimes some are just GOOD. Like classics, or everybody’s favorite, the ones that continue to stick out from the 100+ episodes the show has.
I’m rewatching these as I type this out and you know an episode’s good when you finish it and rewatch and things make more sense the second time around. Like how Grand Pear comes across as just a nice old pony the first time you watch it and if you rewatch it you’re like “Ohhh that look and being nice specifically towards Apple Bloom wasn’t just a random kind gesture”
Applejack’s over-reacting to everything: “PEAR JAM??? IN MY KITCHEN??” *DRAMATIC GASP*
“The food smells great Applejack i’ll brb for dinner” You mean the pancakes that are scattered all over the floor???
“And her cutie mark was a preserved jar, but pear butter don’t look too different from apple butter, so you know...” LMAO (true??)
The “the apple didn’t fall too far from the tree” moments got me, THESE KIDS TAKE AFTER THEIR PARENTS IN THE BEST WAYS. The sibling bonding was adorable in this ep.
Also I have to note, Pear Butter with her little bit of sassiness and curly ginger hair gave me Puck Connolly vibes the whole episode, which is always a good thing
DAMN THESE APPLES THAT STRIKE ME RIGHT IN THE FEELS EVERY TIME ONE OF THEM GOES INTO SONG
Def the part that got me the hardest right there. Like trying not to tear up, even
Ship goals tbh
What happened to them though honestly
GAH THE ENDING’S GIVING ME FEELS AGAIN I’LL END HERE 
10/10 EASILY
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notaprincessaqueen · 6 years
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1,2,8,13
shipping questions | accepting
1. OTP(s) for your muse?Elizabeth - WillMargaret - Hector (POTC ships are boring canon lmao)Leia - HanClarice - HannibalUsagi - MamoruI AM A BORING CANON WHORE?????? seriously come throw some non canon ships at me let’s get this shit moving
2. NOTP(s) for your muse?Elizabeth - Iiiii don’t think I have one actually!Margaret - Jack. I can’t get past the idea of them just having the best broship, or else being siblings outright.Leia - Lando. :TClarice - anyone but Hannibal this is all your fault @jestersmusesUsagi - Demando. I just. I’m sorry. I. No.
8. Does your muse get jealous easily?Elizabeth - She needs a partner who worships her, lbr. She’s a jealous hoMargaret - Not especially. Leia - Uhhhhhhhh. I’ve actually never had the opportunity to explore this directly, but. Yeah, I can see Leia being pretty petty and bitchy.Clarice - Nah.Usagi - have you met this girl I mean for real
13. Do you get jealous of your partners other ships?Nahhhhhhhhhh. We all ship hoes man.
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