#iiiit never fucking ends

[mlobsters]

supernatural s13x22 exodus (w. eugenie ross-leming, brad buckner)

well, mom gets a hug. that's something i guess. no time for extended you're-actually-alive-reunions with lucifer smarming around in the background.

this trying to be i dunno, spookyish discordant atmospheric music is not hitting for me. it just feels wildly out of sync with the tone of the scene. i wonder who made iiiit. oh look, it's jay gruska. i seriously don't look it up until i have a ~vibe~ and i'm vaguely impressed with my consistent reactions to the two composers. i'm pretty much never rockin with jay. sorry, my dude.

LUCIFER Don’t say he’s nothing like me. I’m the only one who understands him. This power he has? I’m powerful, dangerous, ruthless. In the...best sense, though. DEAN No. Kill him. LUCIFER (chuckles) He can’t. He’s not strong enough. GABRIEL Dean… DEAN (turns on Gabriel) You’ve got the blade. JACK (quietly) Stop it. DEAN He’s the devil. Kill him. JACK (shouting) Stop it!

in the land of not-a-show, this seems very reasonable. we have the means and opportunity to FINALLY fucking kill this guy, who has done unspeakably awful things to more than one person present. who they've been trying to take out for a long ass time. but, being that it's this show, yeah. of course it's not that simple. i think they had a general plan to kill him after they used him for the nexus excursion, yes? but them believing he'd still be captured and subdued until then was a bit of a stretch :p also, jack wasn't around for that convo and i suppose he might have some thoughts and feelings around cutting down bio dad right away

CAS In case your innate evil overwhelms this new found team spirit, you won’t mind wearing these then, will you. You’re not at full power. They should hold you.

LOL good one. is he not at full power because he was drained, juiced up, then used some of that juice to resurrect sam? (was also thinking about how like, cas stole someone's grace at one point. a bad someone, right? is it that different? why didn't gabriel just go that route? not actually socially acceptable? whatever. we needed to include lucifer)

jfc nic shut up

thank you, everyone, for that long ass hug. i'm not crying, no, i'm fine

i know the wiki has hugs and lengths (which amuses me to no end), i wouldn't be surprised if that was one of the longer ones. ahbl 29 seconds i think is an outlier being that sam is dead through most of it 😞 what a statement. excluding ahbl pt 1, top 3! lol

other thing he did, which he does regularly? when he's affectionate, that turn to the side like he's checking who's around or avoiding eye contact while he got a little mushy.

he does it before hugging a lot too, like the avoiding eye contact and pulling someone in. definitely with charlie, not sure actually who all he does it with, if everyone at one point or another? anyway. he doesn't instigate a ton of hugs. i'm not under the influence, i swear, i'm just extra... *waves hands*

jack having a little montage o'guilt with xfiles sounds rapid fire (they use it periodically now but i don't recall so many of them in one scene like this. i had to search for "shoe" on the wiki because my blog search is perpetually fucked and all i could remember of the scene was sam finding a shoe lol)

so like, the solution is all the au people come back with her through the nexus, right? so this is a moot conversation? but. dean's reaction to her "i know what you went through to come find me" was so right. like, understatement of the century and in fact i DON'T think you know what they did. and (show logic aside) sam died and only isn't still dead due to a fluke/luck.

interesting to see the production draft script has her saying sorry and that she's grateful, which didn't make it to screen

granted, i think they were doing the getting back to the nexus project for jack too, and i imagine they would have made the same efforts and paid the same prices. but anyway. feels like dean is always waiting for the other shoe to drop with mary, reinforced with her needing space business before, so understandably he's immediately reacting defensively and maybe a little childishly (do they need-need mary? probably not. but it's also reasonable and understandable to want your almost entirely absent mother [which she had no control over] once you got her back)

another thing i like about pellegrino's lucifer, the hair! it just is almost always unkempt in not a cool way, more the disaster been sleeping on it weird way. which my hair also is often in some degree of.

DEAN We have been mopping up the world for years. Years. We have been knocked down. We have been possessed. We’ve lost friends. We’ve lost family. We’ve lost each other. And we never walk away, ever. And sometimes, we should’ve, because not every fight everywhere can be won. It just can’t. Right? (turning to Sam) Tell her.

never (permanently) walk away. ignoring the nonsensical amelia aberration? 🤪 i don't really understand dean's logic. we never walk away, but sometimes we should have, so mary should walk away? doesn't seem like the best sell

SAM I think Mom made up her mind. DEAN See? Wait. What? SAM Mom doesn’t want to leave these people. So let’s take ‘em with us. MARY They’ll never leave their home. They’ll never leave their cause. SAM I’m not saying abandon the fight. I’m saying we get them somewhere safe, then we all figure out a way to take down Michael. Then once we do, they can come back and save their world. MARY You’d do that for them? DEAN Well, we got...what, nine busting out? What’s a few more. How many are we talking? MARY Twenty-five.

(don't know what that 9 number is referring to either, oh right, charlie and ketch? lol) sammy's plan seems very. pie in the sky and not something these other world people would necessary go for but mary's down so sure why not

LUCIFER Well, I mean, yes, I have done things that I am not entirely proud of. I have led the occasional soul to ruin. This is true. But, Jack, it’s because humans are so messed up. They’re -- they’re so willing to be led. JACK My mother was human. LUCIFER Awesome lady. Incorruptible. Not like that. You know, great kisser. And, uh, lost my virginity to her.

pointing to my very disgruntled thoughts about this in 12x08. we're going to regularly make allusions to lucifer raping sam via hallucifer and i think also when sam was stuck with him in 11x09 before cas sprung luci but then lucifer in the president vessel supposedly had never had sex. ok. i prefer to believe that rape isn't part of the torture package, but they make it real hard sometimes. but the show is gonna tell us that was the first time lucifer had sex. being generous and dumb, maybe he believes in the rehymenation like dean. or some particulars of being in a human vessel. as opposed to whatever it is exactly getting tortured in hell. soul in vessel-ish shape? because it wasn't dean's shiny glowing light of a soul on the rack, it was his person. i've been thinking about this off and on since we knew generally what a soul was supposed to look like

jack interviewing lucifer, the quote unquote father of lies, to whatever, determine if he wants to have anything to do with him? well. how could this go wrong?

DEAN I told you no talking! And I told you no listening. JACK Dean, he’s in chains. DEAN His mouth isn’t. Shoulda gagged him. JACK No, I need to know about my powers, my family. CAS Jack, we are your family. We’ve been protecting you. We’ve been honoring your mother’s wishes. We’re your family. SAM Jack, you have no idea who Lucifer really is. JACK And I never will unless I talk to him.

like yes obviously, going this route is going to make anyone shut down and not listen to what you have to say (acting like john winchester basically), especially someone who is framed as being a kid. HOWEVER! couldn't we just say that lucifer spent a year which is equivalent to whatever in dog hell years torturing sam. our sam, that's standing right there. your sam, who you're including as a father figure.

MARY (amused) Jack isn’t going to the dark side. He’ll see Lucifer’s true nature. And he’ll see through his own eyes and not yours.

like she's trying to impart some parenting wisdom - which this is surely applicable to regular real life parenting! but i don't think it's applicable to the situation at hand. being that the grown ass adults with a lot of life experience and big bad demons etc etc have been fooled by lucifer time and time again. at least he should be aware of the actual harm lucifer has done to everyone present that they've personally experienced. and maybe he does know? i'm thinking WAY TOO MUCH ABOUT THIS. for this half baked plot shit.

lucifer cutting off gabriel from telling him about the (oops not actual) murdering of himself would indicate to me he doesn't know so, yeah. whatever man. i gotta fucking finish this episode! i started yesterday but just yammered on too much and then it was midnight.

BOBBY Now about that. Mary said you wanna take a bunch of our people back to this Other Earth? DEAN Yeah. Yeah, that’s the idea. BOBBY Well, no offense, but that may be the dumbest friggin’ idea in a landfill of dumb ideas.

say it, bobby

sam's gonna give a rousing speech to get the people to come around though, right. and now ketch and charlie get to be tortured. so both ketch and rowena are all about the redemption arc life

i'm real tired of this episode lol.

GABRIEL Dad saw that your evil was like the first few cells of cancer...that it would spread like the disease unless He cut it out. That is why He locked you up, to stop the cancer. But it was too late then. And guess what? It’s too late for you now.

excuse me what. he's crying? what even

great, au!cas misha doing another accent. as a... nazi? seriously checked out at this point

sure. like that whole wound tending thing the first time they were there. weird vibes man, are we supposed to ship it

AW-CASTIEL Don’t think that you are better than me. Well, we are the same. CAS Yes. We are.

cathartic

this like. militaryish music as they ride off in the bus is.... oof. not great. ditto for the music with this goofy fucking jumping through the nexus proceedings

and now gabriel's gonna get into a knife fight with this basically impossible to win against michael, good idea. and sam and dean are just gonna hang back and watch him die

well, at least sam got to trap lucifer there with michael? 🤷 surely that won't go bad!

gives me the heebiejeebies all those people in there

CAS What about Lucifer? DEAN Sam handled it.

heaven forbid we actually kill him. wonder how they're gonna have jack react to this

and hey last minute mushy music during the toast by bobby to sam and dean. welcome to the family. mhm

and of course lucifer immediately plotting with michael

#supernatural #spnwatch #spn clip #spn 13x22 #spn script #eugenie ross leming #brad buckner #spn musical score #jay gruska #spn mushy music #spnwhinge

[eddies-house]

Ok, I'm finished with work, I'm here! 🤣 I did read this before my shift but was waiting to do a proper response till now. It was super early and it was thundering and lightning and raining real hard outside and it was the perfect setting for reading this chapter ⛈️

The flashbacks! The way you wrote her pain was so real. Particularly her feeling paralyzed by it, both of them shells of who she thought they were. Her describing him as home, that was gut wrenching. I was hurting reading it. And then the sugar analogy, he really is gritty but sweet. this whole paragraph was my favourite part I think. You've created such good imagery, it's fantastic.

And then they get mean. I liked that she clapped back though. I've seen mean Eddie fics before and sometimes reader is kinda meek and just takes it (no shade at all, I would 200% be like this in real life) but roadkill does not. The line 'you had no intention of entertaining a conversation with someone who never had your best interest in mind' hit hard. People need to bear this in mind more often (definitely not me 👀) it's inspiring. but he really does try and that part where they're admitting they like eachother but it's all wrong because it's too late. This was 'stick a fork in my heart and just pluck it out beat it to death' angst. Just amazing writing. It's like they're breaking up and they weren't even together.

The self fulfilling prophecy situation Eddie's created for himself was hard. He's convinced he doesn't deserve love and fucks up every good thing in his life, and he makes it so. Isn't mature enough at the time so see it doesn't have to be that way, that he could make better choices. And so the kitchen scene at the end proves it. Poor roadkill. Proves that then was not the right time for them. He needed to get to the present day point to realise that he can make better choices, and he does 🖤

And now they're trapped together! And a totally different kind of trapped than just working together. Forced proximity within forced proximity. Very clever, see what you did there! I love that he's such a rock for her in her distress. And his thoughts on if she were his, how she never would be, how he's somehow fallen even harder. Stop iiiit you're killing me 😭 although this undoubtedly confirms he's got zero going on emotionally with Steve, and he even tells her that! Fist bumping the air at that! Their whole conversion after this was amazing. He's being so honest and she's clinging onto this shitty version of him she's gotten comfortable with because she's stubborn. and seems very good at holding a grudge and I relate to this so much. You have no idea. 'Don't mess me up with your niceness when I'm not used to it, I don't like change' kinda deal. The dialogue was so good here, the direction it goes. She's laying it out how awful it was and telling him how it's affected her dating in particular all this time and his reaction is perfect, it's a great take on misogyny and how that situation would have been terrifying and he understands that now. They were barking. Gross. But they end the conversation on good terms! Not forgiveness, but a ceasefire maybe? I can just see them attempting a friendship and it getting harder for him to hide how gone he is on her 🖤

p.s. them picturing touching eachothers noses the exact same way! I'm scrrreaming 😍 they're gonna be so in love and I can't wait.

Why you were ever scared to post this absolute masterpiece of a character study I'll never know. I loved it. But I guess you can tell that by now 🫣

🖤🖤

ILY IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY TO GET YOUR ASKS AFTER EVERY CHAPTER 😭

ugh yes that is such a fitting setting like just really setting the mood right there

IM SO HAPPY YOU LOVED THE SUGAR ANALOGY THAT WAS LIKE MY FAVORITE ugh I think that may be my favorite paragraph too 🥹

Yeah I found it really important for her not to hold back or excuse any of his behavior (even tho I’m totally the opposite idk like I’m so shy I would be like ok) UGH YES it feels like a huge breakup but there was never a relationship to begin with so in a way it’s more achey :(

I LOVE forced proximity, ik it’s been done so often but that’s because it’s so good like it just makes you yearn for them so to then double it is like YES NOW YOU HAVE TO GET YOUR DEMONS OUT WITH EACH OTHER HAHA

I’m so glad the take on misogyny landed well

you have no idea how excited I am for them to stop being idiots and just kiss BUT WE ARENT THERE YET

I WAS SO PROUD OF THE NOSE TOUCHING PARALLEL like it’s so simple but it makes you feel their yearning even if they don’t quite realize it yet SO IM GLAD YOU LIKED THAT PART 🥹

thank you thank you thank you I cannot thank you enough for your support on this fic I adore all of your feedback 😭🥹💜💜💜💜

#vics mail #asks #the under-ground

[fategoflatass]

some of my fav no. 6 quotes/moments/scenes/whatever · part two

honestly? this scene? 👀☕

í love these scenes where nezumi ends up opening up to him, like, i know it must be harsh for him to do so but bitch the trust they have on each other????? 😭😭 and the way shion just knows those words aren't exactly for him, these bitches just get each other so badly i love them please stop

i know i love many things from here but hear me out. i just love when nez is being like, cute? when he's just being dumb and a normal 16 yo messing around with his friend-but-could-be-more, you know what i mean? these scenes are everything to me like 🥺 and when he calls shion 'your majesty' like, that's so them stop iiiit 😭😭

i just love scenes that go more in deep about nez, let's move on

the way nez's literally talking about "hey, these guys were trying to throw the blame on you over your workmate's mysterious death bc they don't like you" and shion's just like "omg he's so fucking hot" like bitch chill

i honestly have no comments on this, i just really like it

the way such a small gesture changed nez's view on humanity, even if just a little, giving him hope that there are people who are up to help others without expecting anything back is 👌👌👌 shion will never understand how important that open window was for him and i'm here like DUUUUUUDE

#long post #(?) #no 6 #no.6 #wake me up (wake me up inside) #i literally woke up and finished reading the first volume #there's more stuff to come #and i will keep on commenting this stuff #bc i hate myself and so i relive this shit even tho i know how it ends #although i haven't read beyond bc i just never finished the novel #is it supposed to go before or after the novel?

[avungerthatgotaway]

The Soldier of the Night

heyyyy guys!! this is my first ever request fic and im so excited to do iiiit. please tell me what you think of it in the comments🥰

it's made for this request

summary: y/n finally takes matters into her own hands and escapes hydra. but it won't be as easy as she tought...

warnings: mentions of blood and child neglect

pairings: avengers x teen!reader (platonic)

genre: angst-ish, fluff at the end

Sorry for grammar mistakes.

If you have request feel free to ask🥰

----------------------------

Y/N Y/LN, but no one calls you by that name. To the world you are known as The Soldier of the Night, the merciless murderer. Mothers all over the world use you to teach their kids about most dreadful dangers. People gather around campfire in woods and share scary stories of your cold heart and homicides you don't feel guilty about. You are the biggest fear of each and every government there is in world.

And you always wonder what all those people would say if they knew how old you were. Or that you never kill willingly. Or that you silently pray every night for the victims you harmed or killed in your brainwashed state.

Or that hydra has no control over you anymore. You are currently running, without exact destination, just to get as far from hydra as you can. They are probably alerted of your absence by this point, but you are already in New York, so you can maybe find a hiding spot before they find you.

-

-Avengers pov

-

Nick Fury hurried to the avengers tower, where he called a sudden meeting this morning.

When he came in Steve and Sam were sweaty, probably just came from their morning jog. Bucky was still fighting sleep in his pyjamas, hair sticking out in different directions. Wanda was starring daggers at him for waking her up so early. Tony and Bruce were in lab coats, probably didn't sleep at all. All other avengers were at their respective missions.

"I called this meeting because my resources told me infamous Soldier of the Night is out of hydra HQ. We don't know why, but it's probably another killing mission for hydra. He is currently laying low, somewhere around south entrance to the city. Your mission is to stop him from harming anyone and bring him here. Alive if possible, it would benefit us to know what are hydra's plans at the moment." he finished.

"Alright." said Steve dutifully. "Any information we can get on him before we go?"

"Not much. Only that he is dangerous, and doesn't spare anyone. He is a ghost story. We don't even know if it's a he, that's just a guess."

"Very well. Everyone suit up, I expect you in front of tower in 10." Steve said and left, other avengers following behind.

-

They came back that evening, exhausted of their unsuccessful search. There was no trace of the soldier. But they had to keep looking as long as there's hope to get rid of the monster.

-

-2nd person pov

-

Your heart was racing a hundred miles. You were well aware of the possibility of hydra finding you. But you didn't expect it to be this soon. You were in hiding for only 2 months and they already tracked you down.

Windows broke on your left side and hydra agents started piling in. At the same time on your right side the door broke down revealing whole avengers team, with few additions. You faintly remember one of them as The Winter Soldier, but what was he doing with avengers? Your toughts were cut short by a punch in your face delivered by one of hydra agents.

That's when it snapped: you had to fight for your life. And you probably had to fight both sides.

You started fighting hydra agents, harming them as much as you can without killing.

The avengers stand at the doorstep, and you faintly hear one of them saying "What the actual fuck?". They seemed belivered.

But they soon join the fight knocking out hydra agents. A fist connected with the back of your head, knocking you out into pool of darkness.

-

Light clacking of bottles was the first thing you hear when you wake up. You squint your eyes open, panic finnaly kicking in to where you are. Your first tought was that you were back in hydra HQ, but the room was way too light for that, and hydra wanted you dead.

You started panicking and franatically got out of the bed, trying to escape. Whoever this is, they nean no good. Even avengers want to kill you. But as soon as you got up, black dots invaded your vision, causing you to fall. But before you hit the groung a pair of arms caught you, leading you to sit back in bed.

"Hey, hey sweetie calm down. No one will harm you here. Don't make any sudden movements, your head is still not completely healed." a man told you.

You just layed back and watched him bandage your wrist.

"I am Bruce Banner, by the way. What is your name?" he asked kindly.

"Y/N Y/LN" you whispered, almost inaudibly but he heard it.

"Alright, Y/N. I think I bandaged all your bruises. Rest of the team is waiting out, do you maybe want to meet them?"

By 'team' he probably meant rest of the avengers. You saw a big 'A' painted on the wasll, so that had to be it, right? You immediately shook your head no, eyes widening in fear. You still weren't sure they won't harm you, and meeting them seemed overwhelming in your current state.

"It's okay, calm down. You can meet them later. I will stay with you a little. We could talk if you want?"

You just shrugged your shoulders, not particularly fond of talking with anyone, but not wanting to seem rude because he did help you.

"Okay. How old are you Y/N?" he asked slowly.

"(your age)" you quietly said.

"Dear lord, you really are just a kid. I'm so sorry for everything you've gone through."

You just zoned out, thinking about everything that happened, when something poped up in your mind.

"Mr. Banner?" you asked shyly.

"Call me Bruce kiddo. What is it?"

"I tought I saw The Winter Soldier at the door when you guys came to get me?"

"Oh yes. Bucky. He was also in hydra, as you probably know. He was brainwashed. I suppose you were too?"

"I was, every time I killed somebody. Sometimes I went to missions with other agents and they didn't brainwash me, but I never killed anyone when I was in my senses." You started thinking about your victims as teers pooled in your eyes.

"We supposed so. Do you want me to bring Bucky in a little? Maybe he can help you feel better, because he knows what you're going through."

You slowly nodded, not wanting to reject meeting avengers the second time.

"Alright, he'll be here in a minute." Bruce gave you a gentle smile and patted your shoulder.

A minute after he exited, in came Bucky. He looked better than when you saw him last, but you doubted he's seen you. You were sneaking out, tryna find some food, when you heard and saw agents torturing him. That's about only memory you have of him, along with stories you've heard from other people.

"Hello there doll. How are you? Bruce told me you remember me." he said gently, sitting at the edge of your bed.

"I-I am alright, i guess. Th-thanks. And yes, I do. A little. I was passing by door, when I saw them torturing y-yo-you." you started sobbing a little, the memory bringing back others. Memories of them torturing you. And you torturing other people in your brainwashed state.

"Hey don't cry. It's okay, shhh. Come here." he opened his arms, and you hesitantly scooted closer, not exactly sure what he wanted. He circled his arms around you, and you flinched, thinking he's gonna attack you. But he just gently kept his arms wrapped around you, soothingly rubbing you back. after some time you wraoed your arms around his middle, still not sure what's going on.

But it was a nice feeling. You never felt something like it before. You felt so safe, like nothing could harm you as long as you two stay like that. You wanted to know what was all this about.

"Wha-at are you do-oing?" you asked after you stopped sobbing, but still hiccuping a little.

"Oh, I'm hugging you. Are you uncomfortable? I will stop if you are. Sorry." he said starting to draw back.

"No!" you quickly said, clutching onto him like koala. You were afraid the sense of comfort will leave you as soon as he withdraws from you.

"Shhh, doll. I won't let go. Never. Nothing will ever harm you here kiddo. We will take care of you. You can live normal life, like all other kids. Maybe go to school after you adapt to your surroundings. Here is a kid Peter he is about your age. You can make friends your age. And of course we will be your friends. For as long as you want it."

"Wait, I can live here? I'm not a burden?"

"No, of course not. Don't ever think that, please."

"B-Bu-Bru" you struggled to remember what Bruce told you his name was.

"Bucky. Or James, whichever you prefer kid."

"Oh okay. What are hugs Bucky?"

"Well I'm hugging you right now. You hug people ti show your emotions. Like comfort, thankfulness, happiness, love. It's what friends do."

"Wait wait wait. You never had a hug before?? Like ever????" a new voice boomed. It sounded genuine but way too loud. You flinched instinctively and hid your face in Bucky's shoulder. He tightened his hold on you for comfort.

"Can you be any louder Thor? And no she was practically raised in hydra, they don't exactly hug around." Bucky said.

"I am sorry, lady Y/N. For frightening you, and for my inappropriate question. I am Thor Odinson." he said coming closer to you.

"It's okay Mr. Thor. I'm Y/N Y/LN, nice to meet you." you said shyly.

"Oh it's lovely meeting you too. I came here because brother Stark asked me to ask you if our presence is wished upon now."

"Huh, what do you think, doll? Ready to meet 'em now? No pressure." Bucky quietly asked, only for you to hear.

You tought about it for a second, but if everyone is nice as three you already met, you'd like to meet them all. And with quiet "okay", Bucky nodded to Thor and he left to call the others in.

-

That night you layed in your bed, thinking of that day's events. You met everyone, since no one had missions assigned. They were all really nice to you. Even Loki, which surprised every avenger. You were not sure why tho, Loki was nice, and his voice was comforting. The Maximoff twins were really funny, and Tony already started making you your own room! Everyone else you've met was aweosme: Natasha, Clint, Steve, Sam and Rhodey. Peter was shy but nice, he promised to show you some good movies and he was belivered when you said you don't know what those are.

Bucky was still you favorite. He stayed the longest, promising to come and visit you first thing in the morning. You hoped he'll hug you again, you were quite fond of hugs now.

-

Few months passed since avengers saved you. Life couldn't be better at this point. You were home schooling, or rather preparing to go to real school next year. Peter already introduced you to his friends from school you are going to attend. You were training to become an avenger, and it was so exciting.

You were currently having breakfast tho, sitting in between Sam and Bucky who were bickering about one thing or other. Tony was dancing funnily while making pancakes, while Nat was trying to throw as many blueberries as possible at him. You heard Clint somewhere in wents above you, probably setting up a prank. You smiled to yourself. Even though you never knew love, or had a family until two months prior, avengers accepted you. They were slowly becoming your family, and you couldn't imagine your life without them. ;)

#avengers endgame #fanfic #avengers x teen!reader #marvel #fypシ #otc #avengersinfinitywar #spotify #clint barton #hawkeye #black panther #black widow #natasha romanoff #bucky x reader #james buchanan barnes #winter solider fanfiction #captain america civil war #captain america #steve rogers x teen!reader #bruce banner #hulk #tony stark #iron man #thor odinson #loki #wanda maximoff #wandavision #vision #pietro maximoff

[mojjisxng]

hold me like you wanna | sunghoon x reader

genre- angst, fluff, sort of enemies to lovers

warnings- a single curse word lmao, angst (themes of self hatred)

word count- 1.3k+

no capital letters intended

a/n- I FINALLY DID IIIIT!!! writer’s block has really been fucking me up lately, so i’m proud that i’ve actually done this. it’s probably a little short and won’t be very good, but i’m not angry with it. this scenario is based off of the song ‘hold me like you wanna’ by somebody’s child. i put in some of the lyrics throughout (but they’re not i order). i hope you enjoy it 🥺

- issy💕

[9:35pm]

just another normal wednesday evening at dance practice, you know except the fact that i was crying over- no, having a mental breakdown over the boy i both hated and loved the most. park sunghoon. you see, i’ve had a huge crush on him for so many years, but he’s always been so unreachable due to being the most popular boy in school. his utter perfection really began to peeve me and i let all my frustration and insecurity build up. well, up until we had to work on a school project together anyway; that’s when i totally messed everything up, even though i never realised it in the moment. i was so horrible to him while we were working together, making snide comments here and there. this became a regular thing between us both; it had gotten so bad that we had become the worst of enemies. despite all of this, i could no longer pretend and broke down, alone in that practice room.

You're acting like a kid

“why are you crying, dumbass? you look like a stupid little kid who dropped their ice cream.”

i snapped out of my reverie and glanced towards the source of the voice that i know all too well, tears still streaming down my face.

“oh shit- you’re CRYING crying. what’s wrong?”

“you wouldn’t understand,” i retorted.

“try me.”

And you tried your best, and you don't succeed

and that’s when the dam broke and all my twisted up emotions started to unravel and overflow; “i just hate feelings things, all right! i can’t stand feeling so insecure about myself and how i can’t match up to everyone else. even though i try my best with everything, i’m not pretty enough, not loud enough, not smart enough and not even kind enough to ever be loved by anyone; and i hate myself so much for it!” at this point, i was yelling, more in frustration at myself than sunghoon, my face was wet with bucket loads of tears and my fists were clenched too.

I don't want you to feel like I did so...

sunghoon’s soft voice brought me back down to earth, “hey hey just breathe okay, it’ll help you calm down.”

“why are you even being nice to me sunghoon, have you forgotten that you hate me?”

“i don’t hate you y/n, and you’re struggling right now, i don’t want to see you like this, even though you really piss me off,” he remarked as he sank down against the wall. i was trying to process what sunghoon had just said, when he solemnly added “come here.” i tentatively shuffled over to him, apprehensive of what he was going to do. was he going to shout at me, hurt me, laugh at me- oh, he just pulled me to sit in between his legs. all of my muscles froze because i was so shocked at his newfound tenderness. he clearly noticed how tense i was, as he rubbed a hand on my back and explained himself, “i just want to comfort you or whatever because you just sound so broken. it’s weirding me out, you never act like this. what’s wrong y/n, tell me. like were you rejected or something?”

i absolutely could not tell sunghoon the truth because he’d just despise me even more, so i had to vaguely tip-toe around what i truly wanted to say to him.

“no, not exactly. i’m just feeling a lot of things right now. one of those feelings should be something positive, well it usually is for other people anyway. but for me, it’s not an exciting emotion; it just brings me pain everyday. as it consumes me, it makes me feel nauseous and anxious without fail, yet it will only bring more harm if i act on it. it’s just another thing in life that i’m failing miserably at. i just want to give up, i feel too inadequate for anything good to happen to me,” i lamented, in total dejection, as my silent tears dropped onto the wood floor.

You don't have to say anything

the air was still between me and sunghoon for a beat too long, so i looked up, only to be met with a glassy-eyed sunghoon staring at me in pity. “y/n, stop! don’t say things like that; you’re breaking my heart. i loathe that you can say thing like that about yourself. you’re more than what you say you are, even i know that.”

“why are you being so nice to me all of a sudden? keep being vicious to me, that’s all i’m worthy of. i don’t deserve true happiness because i’m just a bitter and lonely girl, who takes out her own insecurities on other people!” my body was shaking as i cried and i could not look at sunghoon, it was too humiliating.

but even after the lifetime of self doubt that i held inside spilling out, sunghoon only gently tugged me closer to him, so that i was curled against his chest. he then asserted with utmost confidence, “you deserve the world y/n, actually no, you deserve the whole universe. i know you don’t believe me, probably because you don’t seem to like me very much, but i like you. i like you a lot. so when you started to act negatively around me, i was extremely upset so i reciprocated the malicious behaviour. but hey, it never stopped me from liking you and it sucks that i caused you so much inner conflict. my god this is so embarrassing.”

to say i was gob-smacked would be a complete understatement. the knowledge that he actually liked me, whether i believed it or not, made me feel even more guilty so i started to divulge the truth, “no no no you can’t possibly like me, you’re too good for me, like totally out of my league. oh god oh god OH GOD i’m such a mess...the only reason i started being mean to you was because your perfection irked me so much, that it made me enraged at you. i didn’t want to feel so defeated, so i made an enemy of you instead.”

“oh y/n, you were never one for being up front and simple,” sunghoon chuckled, “but at least we both know that our feelings are mutual.” he didn’t even give me a chance to answer, as he caressed my cheek with one hand, and placed the other on the back of my neck to pull my face closer to his, taking my breath away. he closed the gap between us, moving his plush lips against mine. when i realised what was actually happening, i returned the kiss. however, all good things have to end, and let me tell you, the kiss felt like it ended just as fast as it had started.

we fell deep into each other’s eyes, dumb smiles etched onto our faces and a blush painted onto our cheeks. i was the first one to break the silence this time around, “so ummm sunghoon, i know we got off to a rocky start, but would you be willing to give us a go? what i’m trying to say is, do you want to go on a date with me tomorrow, to ummm that popular café down the street o-or s-something?”

“there’s no other way i’d want to spend tomorrow,” sunghoon affirmed, “but right now all i want to do is stay right here with you in my arms and make up for lost time.”

Just hold me like you wanna

#enhypenwriters #enhypen #enhypen scenarios #enhypen imagines #enhypen reactions #enhypen headcanons #enhypen drabbles #enhypen au #enhypen fluff #enhypen angst #enhypen timestamps #sunghoon #park sunghoon #enhypen sunghoon #sunghoon scenarios #sunghoon imagines #sunghoon drabbles #sunghoon au #heeseung #park jongseong #jake sim #kim sunoo #yang jungwon #ni ki #enhypen heeseung #enhypen jay #enhypen jake #enhypen sunoo #enhypen jungwon #enhypen niki

[too-kinky-to-live]

taste

happy vo.re day everyone!!! here’s my cringe fic to commemorate :-) 

(no ao3 link this time im too self conscious) 

this idea came about while talking to the lovely @chili-kinks and they made this in conjunction with my fic so please check them out!!

anyway this fic features pre.game oum.asai and soft, same size vo.re, you have been warned. also bad words

“IIIIT’S PUNISHMENT TIME!!!”

The screen cut to a large Monokuma towering over the latest blackened, a small blonde girl with a long pigtail. The demonic bear picked up the girl and began to lick all over as she struggled in his grasp. Slowly lifting her above his head, Monokuma bent his head back and opened the gates of hell: his half-fanged mouth, with drool beginning to form around it. The girl was screaming and flailing about as she was lowered further down to her demise. Monokuma’s fist released her without effort, the blackened dropping right into his gaping maw. It slammed shut with a metal clang, and the bear gave a loud, deafening gulp. 

Saihara’s eyes were glued to the T.V., in a more intense manner than usual. What a cruel way to go, even for Danganronpa standards. He had many ideas about his own execution someday, but this… this was definitely one to consider. He could only imagine how she felt wriggling around in his large belly, put to an eternal sleep with a comforting blanket of warmth. His shaky hands moved to text his boyfriend Ouma, who sadly couldn’t make it to their weekly Danganronpa viewing because of heaps of school projects. He knew Ouma was more into the mystery aspect of the show than the gruesome killings, but he simply couldn’t resist. 

Saihara: omgomgomg did you see the latest episode???

Ouma: I did. I had it on in the background so I could work. 

Saihara: what did you think of the execution? :D

Ouma: It was… something. Unexpected, definitely. 

It was difficult for the taller boy to contain his fantasizing, to say the least. 

Saihara: i love the way she was screaming for dear life,,, it was soooo satisfying in the end! god i wish i were monokuma… tasting a victim would be so worth ittt

Ouma: Uh, Saihara?

Saihara: yea?

Ouma: I think you should go to bed. You have school tomorrow. And… you’re scaring me a little. 

Saihara: sorry kichi… but fiiiine ill see you tomorrow.

The last thing he wanted was to make Ouma uncomfortable. And he was a man of his word, he’d take his advice and get to bed. However, there was one thing he wanted to try first. Rummaging around in his snack drawer, he found a small bag of Monokuma-themed gummy bears. He couldn’t stop thinking about having something whole run down his throat… and what better way to do it than try on a small candy? He frantically opened the bag and plucked out a red gummy. Dangling it above his drooling maw, he licked his lips. 

“My first victim… down the hatch!” 

He shoved the gummy in his mouth and had to stop himself from chewing. Positioning it for swallowing, he let it slide down his throat with a hard gulp. Saihara traced a hand over his chest to feel it going down to his stomach, shivering slightly. What an amazing feeling… he couldn’t chew these ever again! He happily shoved more in his mouth and gulped them down, pretending they were meek little prey against his predatory might. 

Saihara tossed the bag aside and rubbed his belly blissfully. One day, maybe he could have a person inside him. Despite his affinity for Danganronpa, he could never bring himself to kill someone. He was going to rely on Team Danganronpa’s directors to change that for him. No, he merely wanted someone in his belly for a while, just to feel what it’s like. 

Surely a normal human like him couldn’t achieve that, right? 

Only one way to find out. 

Ouma looked on nervously as Saihara effortlessly swallowed half a sandwich whole. His previous victims included sushi, apple slices, candy, cookies, and brownies. It was almost inhuman how the taller boy could open his mouth to fit a seemingly endless array of food. 

"Saihara, you're gonna make yourself sick."

Saihara simply chuckled. "I'll be fine, 'Kichi." 

The smaller boy knew Saihara had a somewhat unhealthy obsession with Danganronpa, but he never would have imagined it would affect him this much. Despite how unnatural it was, Ouma couldn't help his morbid curiosity. He couldn't deny how interesting the latest execution was (no matter how much he tried to convince himself otherwise), and a small part of him absolutely loved watching Saihara scarf down food and seeing it travel down his throat. 

Nope, he definitely didn't enjoy this. 

Every so often, the taller boy would lift his food above him and slowly ease it into his mouth, as if to simulate eating a person. Ouma was immensely thankful the other patrons of the cafe were ignoring them. Maybe this sudden fascination would fade once the next Danganronpa episode came out; but with Saihara, anything was possible. 

Saihara: hey could you come over today? i wanna try something. 

Two weeks later, Ouma received a rather unceremonious text from Saihara one night. 

Ouma: Sure. What is it you want to try? 

Saihara: i don't think i can say over text

Ouma furrowed his brow, his mind racing to the absolute worst possible scenarios. Did something happen between him and his uncle again? 

Ouma: ...why not? 

Saihara: i just can't i'm sorry 

Saihara: pls come over asap 

Ouma: Alright.

It was unsettling how vague his friend was being, and that made him all the more worried. He hurriedly packed his things and ran to Saihara's house. 

The two sat across from each other on the floor in Saihara’s room, neither saying a word. The taller boy had his eyes cast down, deep in thought with Ouma left to wonder just what the hell happened to him. The air was unnerving, and Ouma couldn’t take it anymore.

“Are you okay, Saihara?”

The boy in question took a second to look up at him, meeting his eyes with an emotionless face Ouma had not seen in him before. 

“Do you remember the episode where the girl got eaten alive?”

Oh.

“I… I want to try it out. I’ve been practicing so I could make it happen.”

Oh.

Saihara couldn’t possibly think this would work, right? Humans aren’t capable of eating each other without… killing the other. Ouma shuddered. 

“Saihara,” he spoke slowly. “Do you really think you can do this? I mean, Danganronpa is just fiction after all… and one of us wouldn’t s-survive,” his voice began to quiver. 

The taller boy sat up slightly and looked at Ouma with soft eyes. “I won’t let that happen. I’ve been looking stuff up. I’ve been training myself. And… you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.” 

Part of Ouma didn’t want to. That part was constantly pushing the fact that this could end up very bad. However, another part slowly began to rise up - the feeling of being the closest he can to the one he has a crush on. And of course, there was that naughty side of him thrilled at the idea. 

“...I’ll do it.”

Saihara’s eyes lit up. “Really?!”

“I trust you. And, well, I’m kinda curious too.” 

Hearing Ouma have mutual feelings to this weird activity made Saihara’s heart race. The smaller boy began to remove his clothing, too embarrassed to make eye contact with his crush. Saihara finally noticed how bony Ouma was. He’d make sure to get him a proper meal later. Ouma removed everything but his boxers, feeling somewhat self-conscious and looking away with a blush. 

“Could you uh, close your eyes while I do this? I don’t think I could make eye contact with you.”

“S-Sure.”

Ouma complied and Saihara inched his way towards him, shaking slightly. Ouma trusted him. He wasn’t about to let that be for nothing. Raising himself above Ouma’s head, Saihara opened his maw until it became unhinged. He gently bit down on the smaller boy’s head of hair. The flavor was a sweet grape with a bit of lavender, which made Saihara drool slightly. He couldn’t help but smile in bliss as he took more of the boy in. He felt Ouma flinch a bit, so he brought his hands to Ouma’s arms and rubbed for reassurance. The smaller boy calmed down and Saihara reached his shoulders. 

Perhaps it was Ouma’s smaller stature, but this was going a lot easier than Saihara had anticipated. He wanted to lick at him to get more of his sweet flavor, but he didn’t want to gross him out. He also wished he could ask how Ouma was holding up, but, well… he was a bit preoccupied. As Saihara reached the smaller boy’s torso, he realized the boy had entered his stomach. He was already feeling full, but there was no going back now. He took a hand off of Ouma to rub his belly, his hand gliding over the dent created in it. Reaching Ouma’s boxers wasn’t nearly as thrilling of a milestone, since his taste was interrupted by bland fabric. 

He picked up the pace and shoved the covered part of Ouma’s body down his gullet. He mentally apologized for being so rough. Resuming the wonderful taste of Ouma, he slid down his spindly legs. All that remained was below the knees, and those were consumed just as quickly. Saihara could feel Ouma squirming a bit to get comfortable, and that’s when the true euphoria started. 

It felt fucking amazing. 

It was everything he hoped it would be. He leaned back and let an arm support him from behind, using the other to support the massive weight added to him. His stomach stretched past his knees with many bumps protruding from it. Red-faced, Saihara panted heavily with his tongue lavishly hanging out. God, this was so worth it. He rubbed around to feel for Ouma, who was surprisingly calm during the whole ordeal. 

He opened his mouth to ask Ouma how he was doing, but a massive belch burst from his lips instead. The smaller boy, meanwhile, was fumbling around trying to make out his surroundings in the dark. His body was drenched in saliva; but strangely, no stomach acid was present. The world quaked around him as Saihara let out a loud burp, and Ouma found it hard to be grossed out given his current circumstances. 

“Are you *urp* okay, ‘Kichi?” 

Saihara’s hand found Ouma’s head between the fleshy wall separating them, and Ouma couldn’t help but lean into the touch. He never saw himself in the stomach of his crush, yet here he was. 

“I’m okay. It feels… really nice,” he blushed, accentuated with a small rub to the stomach walls. He was amazed at how elastic Saihara’s stomach was, he hoped he wasn’t putting too much strain on it. 

“Haah… I’m great, ‘Kichi! The best I’ve ever felt, actually! You tasted incredible,” he grinned, licking his lips. 

Suddenly, the buttons on his dress shirt holding on for dear life relented and popped right off, exposing his large belly. That was… pretty hot, Saihara realized. Ouma started to rub more of the walls surrounding him, causing Saihara to moan rather loudly. He was a complete mess around his crush, but it was just too difficult to contain his bliss. 

“Saihara, why aren’t there any stomach acids yet?” 

The taller boy gave his belly a gentle pat. “I found recipes online for drinks that *hic* could subdue stomach acids for a bit. It looks *hic* like they worked pretty *hic* well, huh?” 

Ouma smiled and let himself lean back into the warm stomach walls. 

“You’ll let me out when I’m ready, right?” he asked tiredly. 

“Of course,” Saihara whispered, rubbing Ouma’s head.

“Thank you, Saihara.”

#hope yall enjoy #pora's fix

[hellsingimpuresouls]

1, 2, 7, 25 (Gonzo Hellsing)!

responding to this late, so sorry about that! hopefully i’m answering the questions from the correct meme orz. onward to the salt! ( i’m an idiot because only after i answered everything did i realize you put ‘for Gonzo’, so these answers are a mix )

1. What OTP(s) in the fandom do you just not get?

Seras/Integra. 

the most famous interaction that people go nuts over is the finger-sucking scene : it’s gross, rapey and just… uncomfortable how generally this is justified in so many ways. from ‘well, it didn’t ACTUALLY happen like that, that was just through the male gaze’ to ‘it’s just fan-service, Integra wouldn’t actually force herself on Seras’ to ‘uwu lesbian / sapphic rep.’ i just don’t vibe, canonically or fandom wise - there’s a very clear power dynamic in that rendition of Integra, and generally as a whole ( not that i’m infantilizing Seras by the way ), and people really like to use the finger-sucking scene as a sort of… foundation or undeniable evidence that they are very into each other, when if that same scene was done with Walter or god-forbid, Alucard, there would be riots left and right ( clarification : Alucard TO Seras, not Integra to Alucard ). it just really hit too because irl, women go through shit like this in the workplace, being sexually assaulted / harassed by their bosses. Integra being a woman doesn’t make it less rapey.

it’s also hard to ignore the fact that Seras was ‘taken in’ without anyone asking her what she wanted ( unlike Gonzo ) on her end - idc what people say, they literally abducted her ( that creepy smile Integra gives her in the first episode when Seras is being given her uniform, or that even creepier smile when she’s sexually assaulting her : miss me with that shit ). MAYBE i’d be into it a bit more if the finger-sucking scene never happened? who knows. 

i can say i enjoy shipping them in any other way but the fandom / general way. the manga-canon had a funny thing going between them ( even the finger sucking scene hit a little different? still not okay obviously but more… idk ig lighthearted and almost troll-like, ‘here suck it. do it. doooo iiiit.’ i could appreciate that. )

2. Are there any popular fandom OTPs you only BroTP?

i know Millennium pairings aren’t popular, at least in current tumblr spaces, but Dok/Major. it was apparently a popular ship back in the day, and i still occasionally see stuff for it. i genuinely don’t get it, because i saw no kind of connection between those two that was even slightly romantic. Dok legit went ‘aight, i’m out’ when the zeppelin was shot to bits - he gave no fucks about Major lmao.

7. Is there anything you used to like but can’t stand now?

mm... maybe the dynamic between Integra/Alucard? idk, when i first watched Ultimate, no tumblr or fandom involved, i thought it was very complicated. there was definitely trust, suggestiveness, excitement, guardian-like qualities, and the list just goes on! but then i made the mistake of exposing myself to fandom spaces a bit much, and them being spoken about in a strictly romantic sense kind of annoys me now. same thing if people insist that there ISN’T romance. i’m on a high horse, but i genuinely don’t think i’ve seen many people truly understand / capture the Integra/Alucard dynamic. i roll my eyes when i see either extreme sides ( romance v. no romance ).

not that i was the biggest shipper or anything - i gave very little care for Alucard and Integra respectively, but now i just care for them even less. i literally just say ‘idk and idc’ when people ask me if i ship it.

25. How would you end XXX/Would you change the ending of XXX?

impure souls : would they have continued season 2 as planned, just continue to the canon. Integra would run the organization under the watch of the Crown, but everything else would run mostly the same. there would be interesting plot points when Integra and the Queen conflict on what to do with certain missions, and the pressure gets put on even more when they realize there’s literal Nazis behind everything. at some point, reveal that the traitor was the same guy we see in Ultimate, ergo Incognito and the whole FREAK mess was just more Millennium fuss. introduce Pip and Heinkel later on too ( as they were planned to also make an appearance in the anime as well ). i definitely wouldn’t have minded Gonzo’s take on canon, and it’d be easy to pick up from where they left off.

ultimate : everything was fine / dandy, i wouldn’t change anything except for the last minutes. this is the old, nostalgic, Walter-fangirl i once was, but since Alucard is almost close to a god ( or something ) at this point, have him lift up his cape at Integra, only to reveal that he somehow managed to take in Walter as a familiar ( unwillingly, of course ), not only that, but he’s forever stuck in his adolescent form. sort of to have the ‘gang’ back together, or something. Walter was a son of a bitch who deserved no good, but this would be a funny way to condemn him.

as far as canon goes, i am please with how things ended. it was pretty alright.

SALTY ASK LIST

#* my love turned around and i fell : asks #crystallinee-waters #hellsing

[hockeytrashgoblin]

Ice Cold ~Part 12

A/N: A much shorter one. Well not much shorter, only about 500 words shorter than average but it feels shorter? I don’t know I hope you enjoy!

"Are we there yet?" I groggily asked.

"Baby you can't keep asking that every time you wake up. It's only been 10 minutes since I told you we were an hour away." He laughed fondly at me.

"M'sorry thought I was sleeping longer than that."

"Are you gonna stay awake and talk to me now?"

"Probably no." I curled up further under my coat.

"You'd be warmer if you put your coat on and your boots."

"But then I wouldn't be comfy. Besides I'm fine, just want to be cozy."

"Baby you're cold." I said taking my hand in his.

"How do you even know? I'm still warmer than you are."

"But not as warm as usual. I can still feel different temperatures you silly girl."

"It's not that silly! I still don't know everything yet." I pouted, making him laugh and squeeze my hand.

"You'll know everything soon enough I'm sure. Mitch can't keep his fucking mouth shut no matter what you say and I will answer anything you ask. It shouldn't be long until everything is known."

"Hey when did you feed?"

"What?"

"Yesterday your eyes were pretty red and today they're bright blue but I was with you all day yesterday except the game."

"I went to Mo's last night after you fell asleep."

"You just left me there while I slept?"

"Well I didn't think you'd appreciate me waking you up just to tell you I was going to hunt. I wanted this weekend to be as human as possible without having to worry about all the shit that comes with me being thirsty."

"Well that's sweet but also rude. You could've just said you were going out beforehand, you didn't have to sneak out."

"I didn't think of it beforehand. I'm sorry, are you upset with me?"

"No I'm not upset. I just don't understand why you guys are so uncomfortable about it. I wish you weren't."

"I'm afraid that if I talk about it a lot it's going to become more real to you and you're not going to like it. Or you will get scared."

"William I won't. I've taken time to process. It is what it is. You are what you are and what I will eventually be. I'm not scared and I'm not going to be."

"I love how brave and courageous you are." He said kissing my hand.

"I love everything about you Will. I mean that." 

We were quiet and I ended up falling asleep again. I was exhausted. That's what William got for starting a 5 hour drive at 10:30pm. There was a big bump in the road and I jostled awake with a whine.

"You're fine baby. We just turned onto the road the cabin is on."

"Really?"

"Yes darling. You can go back to sleep and I'll bring you in if you want?"

"No! No I'm awake, I want to see it." I rubbed my eyes with my fists making him giggle. "Your giggles are so cute Willy."

"Woooah there, I do not giggle."

"You absolutely do. All the time. There's no other way to describe it. I love it."

"Are you trying to bother me?"

"What? No! Baby of course not! Your laugh is my absolute favourite sound, I don't want to bother you at all. I'm sorry."

"The only person who's ever described it like that is Kap and that was to bother me."

"If I wanted to bother you I'd do it better than that."

"Oh I know you would." He said rolling his eyes with a smile on his face. "We're here."

"William! This is beautiful, what the fuck dude! I'm in awe. Look at iiiit!" 

I jumped out of the car and stood in front of the most beautiful little log cabin. The lights were on inside so the windows let out a warm glow all over freshly fallen snow. It was truly incredible. William was suddenly beside me.

"I just rented a small one because I thought you'd like that bett-mm." I interrupted him by kissing him.

"William. I love it. It's perfect."

"You're perfect." He grinned and kissed me again, harder. "Do you want to go in and go back to sleep?"

"Are you tired?"

"I actually don't have to sleep, I just choose to. I could never sleep again if I wanted."

"Soo..?" I didn't know how to bring up what I wanted.

William had spent the whole week leading up to this creating the most unbearable sexual tension I had ever felt. It was mostly small things that no one would even pick up on. Lingering touches, intense looks, stuff like that. Other times it was really blatant. Like pushing me against a wall or aggressively making out or buying lingerie as a gift and leaving it for me to find when he was out. I had some revenge on him but I really don't think I had a fraction of the effect on him as he did on me.

"Come here." He pulled me in by my hips and kissed me, forcing his tongue into my mouth. I moaned and fought for control of the kiss. It didn't work but I tried. 

Before I knew it I was being dropped on the bed. He took his shirt off and climbed on top of me. His lips met mine in a deep kiss I felt through my whole body. I pulled desperately at his shoulders and waist. He pulled back and started pushing my shirt up. I sat up and whipped it over my head. He took his pants off so I followed his lead and took mine off too.

"Babe you're fucking gorgeous." He said between kisses.

"You're so hot. Look so good for me." I said as he kissed my neck.

"Are you ready?" He mumbled on my neck.

"Yes. I love you."

"I love you." He gave me a fiery kiss and started touching my body. We spent the rest of the night tangled up together until I was too tired to keep going and we went to sleep.

I woke up to a bright room and the smell of breakfast. I was alone in the room so I took a second to myself. I felt so wonderful and happy. I had had sex before many times with different partners but I'd never felt like this. This feeling was a whole new experience, it felt how everyone made losing your virginity sound. Magical, incredible, a real connection. I found his sweater on the floor and slipped it on. I smiled at the fact that the sleeves went so far past my arms. I left the room and looked around for the first time. 

I loved the wooden walls. It was so beautiful. I had always really loved all wood houses and cabins. They were just gorgeous. I made it to the kitchen and stopped in the doorway to take in the fight in front of me. William standing in his sweatpants with finished and half finished food around him. I was surprised at how human it felt. He turned around and smiled at me. I smiled big and covered it with the sleeve.

"Good morning my love, how did you sleep?"

"Gooood." I went over to him and hugged him. He reached over my head and flipped a pancake.

"I'm glad. You were pretty tuckered out."

"Don't look so proud of yourself." I teased flicking his nose.

"I love you."

"I love you too even though you're using the voice on me again."

"I'm not sorry." He smiled his sunshine smile and kissed me again making me laugh.

"Anyone ever told you smiling and kissing don't mix, Nylander?"

"You're in such a teasing mood this morning." He shook his head and put the last pancake on the plate. "I made all your favourites."

"God you're incredible. Thank you so much!"

"Go sit down in the breakfast nook and I'll bring the food over."

"Breakfast noooook!" I got really excited as I rounded the corner and saw a cute little nook with floor to ceiling windows beside it. "William this is so perfect! I can't believe you found literally the perfect place."

"It took a lot of looking but I wanted it to be exactly something you'd like." He put the food down and sat across from me.

"You're my favourite person."

"You're mine. How do you feel about going for a little skate on the lake after breakfast?"

"Will, you know I can't skate."

"I'm going to teach you. It'll be fun I promise."

"Fine let's do it." 

After breakfast was done I bundled up and we went outside. It was a mess. I wasn't good at it at all but the absolute joy that was present on William's face was completely worth falling on my ass a bunch. He left me on the ice to take pictures to prove he got me out there and I fell during them so there was a progression from me standing, to falling, to sitting on my butt, to laying flat on my back. William fell over laughing so hard. After he recovered and could help me up, I was freezing. We went back inside and sat curled up under a blanket by the fire.

"Do you care much for relationship milestones?" William asked out of the blue.

"It depends. Why?"

"Today is 5 months since we started dating."

"Awww that's so wonderful! 5 months has flown past."

"It really has."

"5 months really goes by quick when you're so happy."

"That's definitely true." He gave me a sweet kiss.

"Hey! Will I be better at skating when I'm a vampire?"

"You will. Your balance will be completely perfect once you change."

"Oh good. My balance is not good right now." I said, making him snort.

"Trust me babe I know. Today was proof enough of that."

"Hey!" I hit his shoulder. "I wasn't that bad! I was even skating without holding onto anything at the end! I got better."

"Still was not very good."

"Sorry we aren't all vampires good with knife shoes." I grumbled making him burst into giggles. "You're not nice."

"Babe, I'm plenty nice, you're just funny."

"Um yeah I know."

"Then stop complaining." He teased squeezing my leg before lunging at me and pulling me into a kiss.

#nhl story #nhl imagine #hockey #hockey story #hockey imagines #hockey imagine #maple leafs #toronto maple leafs #maple leaf #maple leaf imagine #william nylander #william nylander x reader #mitch marner #kasperi kapanen #morgan rielly #auston matthews #halloween #vampire

[arlekqin]

Favorite parts from the Beetlejuice bootleg Act 1

Beej's ukuleles in the whole being dead thing

"like a gay republican"

"This guy knows what I'm talking about"

"Yes, it's been very creepy"

Actually literally all of Beej's spoken lines from the end of the whole being dead thing to when the Deetz move in

Sad puppet shows

Adam's "I mean...that's bad, obviously, BUT!"

The cheerleaders in The Whole Being Dead Thing pt. 2

Adam.....I'm your father

Keen observation, Adam

"does this couch make me look dead?"

It's like Kale salad- no one likes it, throw it out

The mocking "move aloOong" in Dead Mom

"iT's A fIgUrE oF sPeEcH aDaM jEsUs ChRiSt WhY yOu GoTtA bE sO sEnSiTiVe"

WHY IS OHIO SO POWERFUL?

That little dance BJ does during the drum solo bit after "THEY'LL BE QUAKING IN FRIIIIIGHT" in Fright of their Lives

Y o u m a k e d a d d y s o a n g r y

"yeah?" pause. "Well that 👉 was a soliloquy" pause. "So you're 👈 the one who's being rude"

"h..hey guys..?" "Yeah?" "....fuck you guys"

Babs' little dance during and after "rEaDy As We'Ll EvEr GeT"

Delia dabbing after she says "I'd like us to be real friends"

"I'm warm, I'm friendly, and I only think about death a normal amount"

Oh my god that moment of pause after Babs tells Lydia "you seem like a normal girl to me" because I feel like that just makes Lydia feel so good but she'd never admit it you know

"well, I don't see any cops around here!" "OhoOOHHH ADAAM THAT WAS AAAWFUUULL!!"

"you're invisible when you're scoobadoobadoobadoobeebop...me"

"IM GONNA JUMP!" "NOOOOOO- I mean...no,,,"

*gasp* *snap* 👉 "you could use a buddy"

Actually all of Say My Name but I'm biased bc that's my favorite song

Green spotlights that happen when Lydia says Beetlejuice

Canon evidence that Babs pegs adam

"fool ur friends! Fun at parties! :3" "I DID IIIIT"

"CAN EVERYBODY SEE ME???"

BEEJ RUBBING HIS NIPPLES

God ok we all know I love the bug man and every single one of his spoken lines and mannerisms ok if I were to list EVERYTHING I loved we would be here all day but this post is already so god damn long and I've already cut so much lmao

#beetlejuice #beetlejuice the musical #beetlejuice the broadway musical #beetlejuice musical #betelgeuse #bjm #bjtm #btjm #btjtm

[iknownowmerlin]

merlin rewatch - 1x13: le morte d’arthur

a series of posts in which i record my thoughts and reactions as i properly watch all of bbc’s merlin for the very first time 😊

great end to a great season

season finale baby let’s do this

love that even now the knights just quietly stand behind merlin and arthur like yup,, there they go again 

uther you are going to get you, your son and all of camelot killed

gwen comforting morgana when she has nightmares 🥺

morgana really is losing it and it’s quite heartbreaking

arthur’s first instinct upon seeing the beast is to push merlin out of harm’s way

did merlin just defeat the questing beast just like that? he barely lifted a finger damn alright emrys

“we haven’t done all the things we’re meant to do” wanted to make some kind of shippy comment before i remembered that arthur eventually does die before they do all the things they were meant to do and now i’m crying

tbh despite it all it’s always nice to see the more human side of uther, the one that truly cares for arthur

HARRY POTTER IS DEAD vibes

kilgharrah my dude you’re really starting to get on my nerves

merlin has clearly felt bound to his destiny from day one but we’ve never seen him quite so desperate for arthur to live

i think it’s really interesting how his reasoning for being willing to do anything to save arthur keeps going back and forth between ‘it’s my destiny’ and ‘he’s my friend and i don’t want him to die’

hm bashful/nervous gaius, that’s a new one

arthur calming down under his father’s touch :( he’s just a boy

also hi merlin looks gorgeous

gwen’s talk to arthur is just lovely, as is she

arthur is already loved and respected, the people are preparing to mourn

���i don’t believe in miracles” >> immediate cut to merlin. i dig it

iiiit’s nimueh

“i willingly give my life for arthur’s” “his life is worth 100 of mine” 😢

merlin!! ily but at NO point did she explain or did you ask for the exact terms of this bargain you have already agreed to

everything’s going to be alright?? i can’t tell what merlin’s thinking. maybe arthur living is all that matters to him but everything certainly won’t be alright for a whole lot of people if merlin dies

merlin holding arthur i

morgana jumpscare

“i think there’s someone watching over me, keeping me from harm” the closest merlin will get to actual recognition from arthur until… well you know

what’s this? the first proper arwen scene and it actually really works for me?? holy shit why had i never seen this???? it’s super arthur and it’s super gwen and they’re adorable af?????? MORE OF THIS PLEASE

who tf is it??

HUNITH D:

this part with kilgharrah just makes me mad because it was merlin’s fucking destiny to help arthur bring magic back to the land so WHY didn’t that happen

merlin’s betrayal. i felt that

hey uh kilgharrah… wtf?

this is a good time to point out that we have never seen merlin do so much magic or be so in control of it

i know it sucks but your mother wouldn’t want you to die for her merlin

i don’t know how true everything merlin’s saying to gaius rn is but it’s sweet

this,,,,,, scene,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

merlin calls him a royal prat right to his face and all arthur does is laugh with overwhelming levels of fondness

“are you ever going to change merlin?” you KNOW what future line i’m thinking about 😭

arthur’s face when merlin says he’s happy to be his servant until the day he dies, i’m telling you shit’s going on there

arthur’s last words to merlin: “everything you’ve done, i know now. for me, for camelot. for the kingdom you helped me build. thank you” vs. merlin’s last words to arthur: “just… don’t be a prat”

merlin saying goodbye to gwen too 😢

gaius DID that

“you did not like the outcome” and you did??? was the outcome not the genocide of your people? isn’t revenge the whole point of all this?

well i say that, to this day i still cannot for the life of me figure out what any of nimueh’s actual goals are

yo this confrontation is pretty epic. worthy of a series finale

powerful merlin is my shit!!!! he just brought LIGHTNING down. amazing

LMAO “what did you do?”

yo that ending was cute

oh shit spoke to soon. ~drama~

#merlin #bbc merlin #merlinwatch #watchs1 #1x13 #ahh one down four to go

[dragonnan]

Author Interview Tag

Tagged by @aelaer a week or two ago, thank you!

Name: Tanya (among family I'm Nan or Auntie Nanny)

Fandoms: Sherlock, MCU, Psych, Prodigal Son, and a goodly collection of others

Where you post: For a number of years I posted on FFN but between the really shitty reviews and extremely cumbersome posting process I finally quit.  I posed on Psychfic while still an active part of that fandom but that, too, has pretty much ended.  I put a few stories on Wattpad but found it to be pretty meh. I now post exclusively to AO3.

Most popular multi-chapter fic: It's a tossup between “Fury” on Psychfic and “All Nighter” on AO3 – one based on comments and the other on Kudos.  Frankly “popularity” is really subjective because there's also stuff like read count and with comments, at least nearly half are replies from me and read count also includes re-reads as well as every time I clicked on the damn thing to edit so....

You know I'm just really not sure how to properly answer this??

Favorite story you’ve written so far: Like others have stated you can ask me this on three different days and get three different answers and there will be more than 1 fic mentioned every time so.... Because I write in different fandoms I just absolutely can't list a single fic.  The best I can narrow it would a fic from my top 3 fandoms.

Psych: Paint it Black.  I had read a fic where Shawn was gradually going blind and had really been enjoying it and the challenges it presented.  Sadly it was never completed.  As has happened before I decided I would write my own damn fic if I couldn't get a completed story so that was the primary motivation to start this.  What I most love about this is writing from Shawn's perspective as he navigates being blind and not knowing whether or not his condition is permanent.  I did my best to honor the experience of blind and partially blind people and tried to look beyond the cliché.

MCU: I have so much fun writing these stories! In spite of the dumpster fire the film canon became I do so love this sandbox and employing various forms of unfucking it.  So I'm gonna cheat a little and pick two for my faves here since one is a WIP.  Sed Diabolus.  I don't need to have completed it yet to know this will be my all-time favorite.  This is the first fic that has been entirely plotted out and OMG I'm so excited for iiiit!!  The second is Simple Math which seems like an odd choice given there's zero action – mostly just one character – hell, not even any whump.  But there is something about that deep dive into Tony's mindset that keeps this as a fave even though it was the first thing I ever wrote for the MCU.  I learned about Tony as I wrote this and I also worked my way through those motivations that bothered me regarding Stane.  Even years later I still mentally go back to this fic whenever I write Tony because I feel encapsulates the essence of how I see him as a character.

Sherlock:  Compared to other fandoms I'm still quite new to this fandom so I don't have nearly as many fics.  But I still have a favorite!  And, like with the MCU, it's the first story I ever wrote for this fandom; The Tiger and the Shark. Returning to a plot device I've employed in other fics, this one is built around a sexual assault and taking the character on a journey from that terrible event to the point where they rediscover themselves.  PTSD ever being my favorite form of whump I employ that fairly a lot in this story and employ some kinda radical methods for coping with those memories.  

Fic you were nervous to post: I mean until I start getting comments I'm a world of anxiety with every story I post.  But grabbing a specific fic that hit my nerves – that Sherlock fic I'd said was my fave certainly qualified.  Not only was it my first Sherlock fic – it also was charging out of the gate with a very heavy topic so yeah – I wasn't sure if people would absolutely hate it or find my characterizations totally off or what.

How you choose your titles: It varies a bit.  In some stories, like Sed Diabolus, I actually consult friends on various ideas.  Other times I'll consider songs or lyrics and my favorite thing is if I can alter the known title just a bit to make it more relevant to the fic (I did that a LOT with Psych fics which was the method the show also employed for its episode titles).  One of my favorite Psych titles is “The Wizard Was the Wicked Witch and the Scarecrow Lost His Courage”.  

Do you outline: Almost never – not until “Sed Diabolus”.  That story, though, is so astoundingly complex that without an outline I'd be hopelessly lost.  I am, though, trying to make a practice of outlining more because it helps SO much!

Complete: If we count every one-shot collection and challenge collection it likely is over 200 stories. Of course a lot of those are one-shots.  My total completed chaptered fics number maybe around 34?

In progress: 16 – between Psychfic and AO3.  All Psych stories are on long-term hiatus for the foreseeable future (some, honestly, I will never finish as they are many many years old and I've lost the inspiration for the plot). Several MCU stories are also on the back-burner while I focus on “Sed Diabolus”.  I admit I get LOTS of story ideas and staying focused on a single fic is not something I've ever been greatly successful with.

Coming soon/not yet started: I meaaaan.... lots?? I have probably several hundred ideas and partially started fics across many fandoms.  As to “imminently coming soon...” I don't think I currently have an active story that I haven't already posted at least a first chapter.  Sadly I have zero patience for developing something for months before posting which is why I have so many WIPs.  That said I DO have a Sherlock au that has been poking at me now and then involving the witch trials that started in Denmark and, eventually, made their way to Salem.  The idea would be that Molly Hooper is accused of being a witch.  She, of course, is innocent but cause this unfortunate attention due to her “uncanny” ability to heal the sick and injured (not so much uncanny as opposed to employing methods that aren't so reliant on superstition and folklore).  

She is scheduled to be tortured and executed but is saved by Sherlock – a strange recluse primarily ignored and given a pass as he solves mysteries for people. He and his friend John save Molly from this awful fate. The twist is that Sherlock is a sorcerer (bit of marvel crossover-ish) and able to transport them to safety.  

Do you accept prompts: I wish I could cause I love ideas but I don't have the time/energy to always work on what I already have and I'm awful at follow thru.  Like I will never turn away an Ask wanting to share ideas but I can't promise that I can actually write anything.

Upcoming story you are most excited to write:  As was the reply to a previous query – I have lots that are ideas that will linger in partial stages for sometimes years.  If it's “upcoming” I've already posted the first chapter lol!  But, again, I have several story ideas that whenever I poke through my folders I get excited about someday actually writing them.  Here is a teaser for an MCU fic involving Tony Stark and Obie (I still feel this was never explored enough – certainly not in fic):

They were doing a retrospective, ten year anniversary kinda... whatever.  Unofficial, of course. Certainly nothing Pepper would have dreamed up even at her most drunk (which, honestly, was never her scene.  Tony had sorta owned that space well beyond the time it had started owning him).  Whose idea it ultimately had been?  Frankly Tony couldn't give a fuck.  That he was asked to be one of the speakers was slightly more... awkward. Awkward was the right word, yeah?  Nauseating was certainly another and possibly a bit more accurate.

Dead for a decade and Obadiah Stane still managed to fuck with his life.

But... it hadn't always been that way. At least, not as he'd believed back when the Walkman had been on every kid's Christmas list.  

He'd thought it was bonding; at the time.  His dad had never been one for just hanging out; shooting the shit; telling tales out of school.  No, Pops, when he bothered to interact, led with questions.  “You keeping your grades up?” “You still seeing that floozy?” “When are you going to pull your head out of your ass and grow the hell up?” “You do realize it's my name you're disgracing every time you go on a bender?”

With Obie it was just, easy.  Obie might ask about school but it was always with approval and pride.  He would discuss Tony's conquests as though Tony had climbed Kilimanjaro wearing nothing but underwear and a cape.    

Obie was there when his father wasn't. Which meant that Obie was always there.  The first time he got astoundingly drunk on his father's scotch, Obie was the one to help him hunch over the toilet and vomit expensive, aged booze into the toilet.  Obie was also the one to replace the depleted bottle to keep Howard in the dark.  For a fourteen year old kid still trying to gain his dad's favor, that had meant everything.

He saw his first porn with Obie; sex education ala Traci Lords, three months shy of his fifteenth birthday.  That was the same time he was introduced to weed.  Obie had cautioned him to use it sparingly; didn't want to fry that genius brain, he'd say, and ruffle his hair.  The porn had made him uncomfortable.  Obie had turned it off and told him they could watch whatever Tony wanted.  They'd ended up changing the station to Knight Rider; smoking and munching Cheetos and laughing over their orange fingers.

It was Obie who was there, arm around his shoulders, after his parents died.  He desperately didn't want to sob in front of the man.  Things were so complicated with his dad that all he felt was blinding guilt... as though some part of him had caused this.  But Obie had filled him with bourbon until the emotions got soft around the edges and he'd sat beside the older man, head tipping gradually to the right until he was held up by Obie's shoulder.  Obie had just slung an arm around him and let Tony pass out while he rubbed a broad hand up and down his bicep.

It was strange, now, looking back with adult perspective.  A perspective that included Afghanistan and his intended execution while Obie talked about legacy and responsibility while Tony's lungs slowly seized.  He'd taken the time to sit there – arm around Tony's shoulders while one broad hand traveled up and down Tony's bicep – just like when he was a kid and Obie was the whole world.

He'd tried to remember if it had felt so... tainted... at the time.  Or if he'd always believed it was love.

Obie had never quite crossed that line. Though hindsight offered a peek into that possibility with enough clarity Tony had fought with his cramping gut for nearly thirty minutes.  He'd staved off vomiting though he was fairly certain his dignity had still been in tatters what with Bruce wandering in on his misery.

Upcoming story you are most excited about (this is basically a repeat of the above question so I decided to change it.  Do you have a future story idea you'd like to write that is not yet beyond the vague idea stage?  I love stories that put Molly in some sort of jeporady and I have a barely formed idea to someday write a “stalker fic” of some sort and not I don't care that this trope had been done on  repeat – I still love it lol!  I have a smidge of writing for it:

“I need your help.”

As afternoons at Baker Street went, this was a mundane request heard so often that Sherlock's typical reply, “Obviously, or you wouldn't be here”, could have been printed on flash cards.  The detective had actually made the suggestion after a particularly full day at the flat and having heard the statement no less than twenty times.  

Today, however, Sherlock merely blinked for a moment.  Then, with an awkwardness rare to a man with a lethal sort of grace in his movements, Sherlock gestured to John's chair, JOHN'S CHAIR, before taking his usual seat.

Molly didn't exactly smile but her lips edged up a bit before she sat.

John cleared his throat before pointing a vague hand towards the kitchen.  “I'll just go make some tea, shall I?”

“No, please, I...”  The stammer in her speech was not uncommon; though John couldn't recall such obvious fear.  Forgoing the kitchen he, instead, took the hard wooden chair facing the other two.

“Molly, what's wrong?”

Tagging: @kitcat992 @mizjoely @sgam76 @ariaadagio @hanuko @ceruleanmindpalace 

[ghouls-dream]

Hey Hey!! I thought about a request and I was thinking of this one: Dew argues with the other ghouls and holds a grudge but the reader cheers him up. How about that? :D

Hello, dear! Thank you so much for the request! I actually enjoyed writing it a lot so I hope you like iiiit! (btw great idea tho, haha)

Dewdrop x Reader “Sacred“

“Really, dude, you think I would do something like this?” Dewdrop’s voice filled the room. The walls echoed in response to his anger as the ghoul put his hands on the table in front of Aether. “No, we’re not saying you’ve done it! It’s just getting obvious that you… You have… You know…” Mountain tried to reason with the fire ghoul, but with no success. Dew looked into his eyes, feeling how rage, mixed with adrenaline suddenly shot through his veins. His fists clenched as he hissed at the earth ghoul - “I have what, Mount? Come on, say it!”. “Feelings! You have feelings for Y/N and it shows! You can’t hide it forever… You both can’t!” Mountain shouted back, feeling how his nerves were on the edge. Not that this was such a big of a problem, but it would have caused Dew a lot of trouble… And then not only to him. And the last thing anyone from the ghouls would want is for someone to get hurt. Them or Y/N… “Dew, its a matter of time before Imperator finds out about both of you. End it until you still have time” Rain spoke softly, putting a hand on the fire ghoul’s back. Dew raised his eyes to him, squinting them a little and whispered back angrily “Then let them all know”. After those words Aether and Swiss looked at each other worriedly as Rain’s voice spoke once again “Dew, you can’t…” “I can’t? I can’t do what? I can’t have feelings for someone? Or I can’t fuck them? Well let me tell you - I screwed her brains out the other night, okay!?” the fire ghoul shouted. That clamness he tried to remain was just a memory of his enraged mind… He couldn’t bare control. What’s more - his worst nightmare was someone (let it be even Papa Nihil) telling him how and who to love/hate.

Aether came closer to the angry man, putting both of his hands on his shoulders and spoke seriously “You’re gonna get us all in trouble! Not only you!”. “So what, Aether?! I’m tired of everyone telling me what to do and what not to!” Dewdrop shouted back. Swiss rolled his eyes, feeling how none of that would make him think straight and said “You like her - fine, she likes you back - great! But putting hers, yours and our lives in danger is just fucked up, man. Remember - she is a Sister of sin, if they find out she’s no longer a virgin, the whole Clegry will go after your ass and then ours’. Imagine the trouble you’ll cause”. 

Seemed like Swiss was the only one that actually had some sort of success into taking off Dew’s pink glasses and making him come back to his senses. The fire ghoul looked around his friends, taking in every word, acknowledging the fact how guilty he’d feel if anyone got hurt because of him… And then it snapped. The anger, the rage, the rebellion… They all came in together, creating a deadly cocktail of emotional outburst in Dewdrop’s mind. “So be it” he spoke, letting go off Aether’s grip as he began walking towards the door. Mountain quickly grabbed the fire ghoul’s hand as he shouted “Are you really this in love or you’re just way too stubborn to risk it all?!”. “Screw you, Mountain. At least I have balls and my horns are big enough to confess my feelings for someone!” the fire ghoul hissed back before slamming the door closed after himself…

Crazy, angry, screwed up thoughts were running through the fire ghoul’s mind. He knew his friends were right, he knew he’s cause trouble to many people not only himself with chosing to be in love… But did he really have a choice? Did his heart have choice? Y/N was everything he ever dreamed of - fierce, independent and decisive. She was everything he always needed…

The minute his head started to clear a bit, Dew found himself standing in front of the girl’s chambers. His hand was already clenched into a fist, ready to make a knock, but something stopped him… Aagain - “Maybe they are right…” the voice in his head spoke calmly. And just there, right at this moment he was ready to give up his own feelings for the sake of everyone when the door opened and Y/N’s face blessed his eyes. He couldn’t help but smile a bit as she squeeled quietly. The girl hugged him, putting her head on his chest as she whispered “Hello, my love! I missed you!” “I… Missed you too, Y/N. You have a moment?” Dew’s voice spoke calmly. Unusual, even odd for him and Y/N. And that was the moment she knew something was wrong. The girl raised her head, still holding onto his body and asked with a note of fear in her voice “Is everything okay? D-did anyone…”. “No, no! Please just let me talk to you, okay?” he asked her as she nodded silently, letting her lover in her room.

Fear and panick were the only two things Y/N could feel as she listened to Dew’s story.. About his argument with his friends, about the consequences of his and her actions.. And with every word Dew’s voice began raising again - finally something typical for a fire ghoul. The girl instantly felt that as she looked into his icy blue eyes, putting her hands around his neck and after that kissing him gently. She whispered “It’s going to be okay. No one will find out about us and no one will get hurt, okay?” “How can you be so sure? I took your virginity, Y/N! When Papa and Imperator find out, they’ll…” Dew’s voice interrupted her as he pulled the ghoul closer to herself, rubbing his back.

Y/N was a smart girl, she knew damn well what would happen to both of them if anyone found out what they’ve done but luckily… She wasn’t the first non-virgin Sister of sin, taking part in the “sacred” ritual. Many of her girl friends, serving in the Church of Ghost, were also “impured” before the “night of their lives”… “A woman always has her ways, my love. And they don’t include you or any of us getting banished or burned alive… Just blood” Y/N joked as she started into the ghoul’s eyes. 

As much as he was confused, Dew was also entertained. The long forgotten smile started dancing on his lips once again as he gave her a gentle peck on her own, before winking and whispering into her ear “In that case I think we can say that a little fun never killed anyone… Right?”. 

#ghost bc #the band ghost #ghots band #the nameless ghouls #nameless ghouls #ghouls #dewdrop ghoul #dewdrop #swiss #mountaint #aether #rain #ghost #one shot #papa nihil #papa emeritus #the band ghost

[sunshine-pup-fics]

I N S I D E // Bakugo x Reader

It was a lazy Sunday afternoon. Most of class 1A had headed out to get some shopping done before the scheduled storm. The ones left behind were holed up in their rooms or moping around in the common room.

Bakugo was begrudgingly content with his circumstances; seated on one of the large couches in the common room, watching an action movie with his girlfriend’s head in his lap, combing through her hair. She was quietly humming to herself, eyes closed as she embraced his touch.

“Hm, I’d never pin you for someone who’d like this, Suki.” She popped one end open, a cheeky smile tugging at her lips. The blonde paused, deadly ruby gaze peering down at her. He simply grunted, untangling his fingers from her hair. She let out a whine. “I never said I didn’t like iiiit!” Bakugo smirked. “You’re so greedy.” The girl feigned shock, dramatically clutching her heart. “What? Me? Never!” She started giggling. “I have half a mind to push you off me.” He mumbled, leaning against the armrest, head in his palm. (Y/n) stuck her tongue out. “You wouldn’t.”

He would.

There was an ungodly screech as (Y/n) was shoved off his lap and sent sprawling onto the ground, pillows and blankets taken with her. “KATSUKI YOU BITCH!” Bakugo simply grinned, looking down on the girl who was still lying flat on the floor, eating a face full of carpet.

  “Are you okay (Y/n)?”

“Yeah. Katsuki shoved me off him like 10 minutes ago. I’ve adjusted to living the rest of my miserable, lonely life here. But the concern is appreciated, Sero.”

The raven-haired boy laughed, bidding farewell to the two as he continued toward the stairs. “At least someone cares.” Bakugo rolled his eyes, clicking his tongue as he nudged the girl with his foot. “It’s your fuckin problem.” “You were the one who pushed me off!” “After you were being annoying.” “You wound me, Katsuki.”

The (h/c) haired girl eventually sat up, shuffling around and took her seat on the floor, back against the couch, leaning her head against Bakugos knee. However, their date was again interrupted as the common room doors flew open, and a rather dishevelled and sopping wet group of teenagers stumbled in. Mina was the first to enter, dramatically flinging herself over the couch. “My shopping day was ruined! I was having so much fun window shopping, and now I’m all wet!” She whined. Momo rung her hair out before moving over and gently patting her friends’ shoulder. “Well, we did originally go just to get necessities before the storm.” Uraraka joined them by the couch, handing a towel to the pink haired girl. “Why don’t we all have a movie night later, Mina? We can bring blankets and everything!” Uraraka cheered. The rest of the girls agreed.

 Bakugo turned his attention to his girlfriend, expecting an excited response. He frowned when he noticed her gaze was locked onto the large windows, looking out that the courtyard that was now dark and dreary with rain. She didn’t even bat as much as an eyelash when the other girls headed off to their rooms to dry. He caught Kaminari and Kirishima throwing themselves onto a sofa in the corner of his eye, tuning out Iida who was ranting about drying off and not catching a cold.

 His attention fell back to her as he felt a tug on his leg. He hummed in acknowledgement. He couldn’t see her face, but she seemed to be preparing to move at any moment. He furrowed his eyebrows as he thought on something. Was (Y/n) scared of storms? He would've laughed at anyone else if they feared a simple storm, but she was her. He knew she was strong, and he would make sure she was okay if anything was wrong.

He was snapped out of his thinking when she moved. “Hey Katsuki, can you hold this?” She didn’t wait for an answer and simply thrust her phone into his hands. He tried to ask ‘what the fuck are you doing’ but was cut off as she vaulted over the couch and bolted from the common room, disappearing out the front doors into the rain, barefoot and in her pyjamas.

“Dude, is she okay?” Kaminari asked, shooting a confused glance at the bewildered blonde. They sat in silence for a moment, before Bakugo realised it didn’t seem she was coming back. He dropped her phone onto the couch and hauled himself to his feet before stalking toward the doors.

 Whatever Bakugo was expecting to find outside was certainly not what he got.

 (Y/n) was laughing blissfully as she spun around in the rain, splashing in puddles and trying to catch the rain in her mouth. She was lost in her own world for a moment before she realised his ruby eyes were trained on her. She spun to face him, smiling widely as she gestured up at the sky. “Look, it’s raining, Katsuki!” He only squinted at her, shoving his hands in his pocket as he watched her from the dry safety of the dorm entrance. “Yeah, I can fucking see that. But it doesn’t explain why the fuck you’re standing in it.” She only laughed, turning away and launching herself into a new puddle. “I’ve always loved to play in the rain since I was a kid! So being a dumb teenager isn’t gonna stop me!”

And he thought she was afraid of storms.

Alas, Bakugo would never admit it, but he committed that moment to memory. The way you were smiling so happily, a childish glint in your eyes, your (h/c) mattered to your forehead, your pyjamas sticking to you as they became further drenched with water. Even the way you unconsciously shifted your weight from foot to foot to avoid the cold brick path. He fought down the heat that flared in his cheeks.

 “I guess whatever makes you fuckin happy.”

“C’mon! You gotta join me!”

Bakugo scoffed. “Are you fuckin stupid? You’ll catch a cold.”

“It’s just a bit of water, Suki.”

“If you don’t get your ass over here right now, there’ll be no cuddles later.” He had to admit, he felt a bit guilty when he watched your shoulders slump forward as you dragged yourself back toward the dorms. But he also didn’t want to deal with a sick (Y/n).

Bakugo, however, was too late to realise his mistake. As she got closer, her eyes lit up with a mischievous glint and a smirk found its way onto her lips. She grabbed his arm and pulled him out into the rain, giggling as she watched his face contort in shock.

Now there were two teenagers standing in the U.A courtyard, in their pyjamas and drenched with rain, smiling like idiots.

#mha #mha bakugou #bnha #bnha bakugou #bnha bakugo katsuki #katsuki bakugou #bakugou #bakugo #x reader #bakugo x reader #my hero academia #boko no hero academia #my hero academia x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #SaladWrites

[thefudge]

scattered thoughts on sanditon so far 

this is a fun romp from andrew davies and there’s a lot to like and be invested in

but i do have some observations/ gripes

obviously davies is going for a modern/sexed up adaptation of austen and i have mixed thoughts on that, cuz there’s a lot of interesting stuff you can do with that, but you can also botch it up big time (i’m glad he didn’t do this to p&p back in 1995...i wonder what that adaptation would’ve looked like today. probably full monty darcy, lol). so i think some elements verge on the ridiculous, for instance having almost every dude in this show strip naked in front of a crowded beach several times in a row. ditto for theo james. i don’t mind the view (hehe) but i think it’s inserted awkwardly at times. like okay, we get it, it’s a beach resort and we’re trying to make austen edgy in 2019.... just maybe indulge a little less and literally keep it in your pants. 

this being a more modern adaptation i don’t mind hair and make-up anachronisms, but i DO mind the fact that rose williams sports this really weird shade of fuchsia lipstick in almost every single scene. stop iiiit

speaking of which, rose williams is a cutie and i loved her on reign, but i don’t understand what she’s doing with her face in this series. don’t get me wrong, she does a good job of making charlotte very likable, but the only way she can express...anything, really, is by making these confused faces, like a child practicing frowning in the mirror. it’s...really awkward. and she does this all the time, whether she’s happy or sulky or nervous, she just always looks like she’s trying to figure out the fibonacci sequence.  i mean it’s hilarious when u have theo james going all gruff to her about his feelings and rose williams is that gif of the blond lady doing math in her head. her acting is pretty good otherwise, but those faceeeees.

esther denham is my goddamn FAVE, gosh i love a Disappointed Queen and i’m glad she’s getting away from that boring skeevy brother. for once the incestuous siblings didn’t do it for me at all (which is pretty much the point lol). there’s nary a dude more uninteresting than edward whatshisface, my gaaaawd (also, davies trying to ramp up the sexiness with those scenes of edward brushing her hair or doing her stays...lol, sir, this rly isn’t your strength i’m sorry)

but i have to say that i thought esther and clara would be a thing. because my gosh, the chemistry during their scenes! the way they’d glide past each other with utmost contempt, while being disquieted by each other @___@. i mean it’s an austen adaptation, so i guess they’d never go there but!!! i need fic (would’ve made clara more bearable at least. i appreciate her character objectively cuz she’s an interesting pseudo-antagonist and you don’t get many of those, but blerghh. she was insufferable)

i was kinda (actually very) disappointed that the relationship between sidney and his ward, georgiana, wasn’t really developed. like there’s one more episode to go (as far as i know?) and they’ve barely scratched the surface with them. i mean he’s halfway decent to her now.... but ehh. i feel like this was a missed opportunity. after all, this was austen’s unfinished novel, so andrew davies & co could have added more material between these two. this, to me, should have been the real heart of the series. 

i like otis as a character, but georgiana/otis was zzzzzz. i suppose that they’ll end up together? zzzzzzzzzz (i frankly ship her way more with arthur! she finds him infuriating! he’s a sweetheart! the shenanigans!)

that German doctor is the real MVP, i feel like he should be sanditon’s no. 1 bachelor. i mean the shower rod??? providing pleasure to all the ladies in town, what a hero 

the soundtrack is rly rad! and the cinematography

i love how the show captures austen’s growing interest in the industrialized modern world which was emerging in the twilight years of the regency and i feel like maybe the show should’ve invested more time in that modern aesthetic (steampunk!) rather the awkward sexual shenanigans 

so....i can’t delay the inevitable anymore, can i? sigghh okay here i go

sidney/charlotte...annoys me. 

HEAR ME OUT.

 u know that i love LOVE “enemies to lovers” and hate/love stories, i LIVE FOR THIS SHIT. 

and i was ready to gorge on this dynamic because it looked delish 

 but i felt like michael bluth finding the dead pigeon in the paper bag. 

from what i can gather, sidney is supposed to be a mixture of darcy and capt wentworth, “haughty” and proud, with a history of romantic disappointment, a brooding sexy hero with a heart of gold. but to me this dude just comes off as weird. 

there’s legit no reason for him to be THIS mean to this young girl he just met. he is not just an asshole, he is ridiculously over the top about it, to the point where he makes a fool of himself. i am FINE with a man telling a woman off, believe me, but it has to have some kind of motivation, some kind of reasoning behind it. here, it just feels like the plot needs him to be utterly shitty to charlotte so that “sparks will fly”. that first ep convo on the balcony??? wtf???? it was genuinely bizarre. i got weird incel vibes. and every time he lashes out at charlotte (at least in the first 4 episodes) it’s fucking silly, because it’s not like he lashes out because she’s scratching the surface of his innermost painful memories. no!!! many of their arguments revolve around basic things that he could easily clarify!!! which he does eventually, so like whyyyyyyyyyy. charlotte keeps telling him he’s being vague for no good reason and he still does it. it doesn’t make sense he’d be this guarded and outspoken at the same time. like, fine, keep that shit to yourself, don’t tell ppl, but don’t also get pissed at them when they don’t guess your mind. again, i love an antagonist dynamic when it’s done right, but here many times it’s just pointless bullying, it’s not sexy or fun or challenging. the writers keep making charlotte apologize to him about how “wrong” she got him and how he makes her doubt her judgement but it sounds fake to me. like a) this dude went out of his way to be a total assface to you from day one, b) none of that bullying was him trying to coax you into having a more complicated view of the world. when darcy rebukes elizabeth, he is hinting at her limited point of view. he’s not blatantly negging her or calling her stupid as this dude does. AND U KNO WHAT.

i’d be absolutely fine with him calling her stupid IF IT MADE SENSE WITHIN THE STORY 

like if charlotte had truly done smth stupid during the first episode, sure, fine, it’s somewhat warranted 

but for him to decide she’s an idiot for no other reason than her making some honestly super nice remarks about his brothers when he asked for her opinion is THE HEIGHT OF NONSENSE 

it’s even more nonsense when 2 episodes later he decides maybe she’s not that dumb after all FUCK U MR. EDGELORD

and it makes me pity charlotte cuz she’ll probably marry this dude and have to deal with him in his old age when he’ll be even more insufferable. 

and i totally get the appeal. i do! i mean their scenes are manufactured to make you want more of them, i see the chemistry, it’s there (and we’re already at a point in the series where he’s trying to make amends) but at the same time i’m put off by this dude’s intensity, cuz it’s not the hot kind of intensity...it’s more like he’s a giant dumb baby who breaks things. meh. theo james is very pretty tho, and he is doing the most with his character (that voice def helps!). but i wish this antagonistic relationship had been written better, because it could’ve been glorious

this is why i think sidney/georgiana should’ve been so much more present. just like darcy has his georgiana we need the humanizing element, we need to see more variety from this dude than just “guy who clearly needs anger management classes”. 

i’m pretty sure i’m in the minority or possibly one of two ppl not won over by this romance, and i can’t lie and say i don’t root for them. too much of this show is predicated on their clashes for them not to work it out and get together, but boyyyy do i wish they’d done it a bit better

i almost feel like a reylo anti lol, but at least kylo ren doesn’t neg rey every single time they talk 

also, i go back to rose williams’ faces because they just rly enhance how clumsy this dynamic is. theo james is doing byronic asshole 2.0 and charlotte looks at him like he’s developed a smell lmao. i mean the scene where she catches him naked? she turns around and FROWNS in this rly bizarre way, almost like she noticed a growth on his dick lmao it’s that bad 

anyway i totally get the appeal, but i also know what i want from this kind of dynamic and...this ain’t quite it 

honestly i think i prefer charlotte/cute architect guy whose name i don’t remember right now! 

that being said, my fave moments of this show are the most austen-esque, where ppl don’t take themselves so seriously. i mean the adventures of the perennially-ailing parker siblings (arthur & diana)? deeeelightful. the pineapple scene? glorious

also it makes me sad that sanditon was left unfinished because to see austen tackling georgiana’s character in depth would have been so, so interesting 

in conclusion, the show’s a lot of fun but also frustrating in many ways

i hope davies doesn’t set his eyes on re-adapting p&p or other austen classics because ermmm i know i’m trash but i am kind of tired of these sexed-up “look how scandalous we are behind closed doors” adaptations. you can make the regency era feel modern and relatable without “shocking hand job in the estate park” pls and thank u. sure, the regency era was the inheritor of the sexually relaxed 18th-century, but it wasn’t that relaxed yall. ppl still kept their wits and bonnets about them.

still, i’m glad this show exists and that it tries to take risks, i just wish it took different kinds of risks, if that makes sense. like i am SO bummed i didn’t get into sidney/charlotte, u have no idea 

#sanditon #my thoughts #the fudge watches #jane austen

[wonstals]

OH MY GOD GUYS I WAS AT MONSTA X CONCERT LAST NIGHT IT WAS AMAIZNG !!!!! i was front row, i had eye contact with all the members aldbekd.

HYUNGWON !!! I INTERACTED WITH HIM LIKE 3 times !!! when i blew a kiss to him he blew a kiss to me back and watched me during like 6 secs omg omg!!!!! and during fallin he was in front of me i was telling him with my hands to throw water and then he was like « oh yeah, don’t worry i’m going to do it baby » LIKE FUCKK omg his expression was so good and hot at this moment, and he really threw water after this akdbskdjd. during send off too omg he was looking at me and waved at me. i love him sm. AND HIS HAIR OMG !! he was watching all the fans, one by one at the end.... he was so pretty

I GET SO MUCH EYE CONTACT WITH SHOWNU TOO. u know he’s my bias wrecker but god he’s like.... perfect....:l the most handsome man i’ve ever seen...... honestly i couldn't take off my eyes on him. everytime our eyes crossed i was akdbekd. during hi touch too, i was like litterally falling for him!!!! HIS THIGH TOO OMG. he did asmr during vcr omg it was so funny. WHEN HE WAS DANCING OH MY OMG, i was fucking dying, he was so hot!!!!

WONHO OMG!!!!! u know he’s my ultimate bias but unfortunately even if i had eye contact with him, i couldn’t interact with him since he was at the left most of the time but yeah, HE’S THIGH LIKE ZKDBDJD. he’s so perfect. his dancing, his voice.. bby i love u. also he looked so tired during ment, sometimes he was almost looking empty :( poir baby, i hope he’s okay. DURINGH TOUCH OMG!!!! he was looking at me with his eyes and our faces were so close.. i swear his eyes were so pretty at this moment like « i will never forger you i love u » you know. it was perfect. i was falling into them....... shownu too.

CHANGKYUN MY BABY YOU’RE SO SMOL LIKE KIHYUN. even if we looked tired he gave everything. his piercing enjxzbjxbzdj, this is the prettiest thing. we almost saw his new tatoo lmao. and omg his arms, omg omg. i love them so much. i love u bb. sadly i didn’t interact with him so much but zkdbdjdj. HIS RAP OMG. i forgot how much i love his rap. I want to see horizon ans fly with me in live PLEASE

JOOHEON YOU OMG YOU ARE FUCKING AMAZING. this is the second time i’m seeing monsta x and for god sake, he’s so beautiful, how can some people say he’s ugly?????? HE IS FUCKING NOT. his energy??? like???? he’s such an amazing performer, he was shining so much... i interacted with him so much during rodeo he was poiting at me aldbzkdbdkd’zkdsn. also he’s so cute too. HE WAS WEARING HIS PSG JERSEY LMAO (i hate psg) BUT HE WAS IMITATING KYLIAN MBAPPE so yeah it’s okay!!! during hi touch i told him « HALA MADRID I LOVE YOU » because he also have a real madrid jersey and he looked at me like « OH??? really?? » AND SMILED AKDBND.

KIHYUNNIE. YOU ARE SO FUCKING PRECIOUS. HIS SMILE IS THE PRETTIEST. he is so smol too i sweaaaar. but he’s fucking dangerous. he’s both so fucking cute and sexy. i died during jealousy and shoot out. maaaan. STOP IIIIT. i had so much eye contact with him during the send off!! he was so cute!!! also his voice, he’s amazing and so good. i love him with all my heart. during hi touch too he was smiling so much, i never saw a man happier than FUCKING YOO KIHYUN. he said that we were amazing nzndkdj. i can die in peace.

MINHYUK YOU CRAZY BOY. he’s so funny akwbzkdbej and fucking pretty. his voice is so special, i love it so so so sooo much. also, he’s so cute. we were singing his song during send off and he was dancing and looked so happy!!!! he threw so much water too during special akdbzj. he almost fell one time because he was out of the scene OMG I WAS LIKE « BITCH JUST BE CAREFUL I DON’T WANT YOU TO BE HURT » during ment he was like « i want to reborn as monbebe and attend a monsta x concert in paris because you guys are the best » YES WE KNOW, french people are the best.

this concert was amazing...... i miss them so much already. monsta x are AMAZING. they shine so much, they’re so fucking perfect, i never loved a boygroup this much... they mean so much to me. i want to see them again :(((

#monsta x #mine #wonho #shownu #hyungwon #minhyuk #kihyun #jooheon #changkyun #i.m #lou.txt

[sole-cuore-amore-e-droga]

Tel Aviv 2019: Straight outta Germany to Eurovision with two total strangers turned friends overnight

First, S!sters, let me tell you how it works, hey!

I am never too sure why but German national finals just almost NEVER work in my exact favour. Granted, I have forgiven them for Roman Lob because I have had literally no other reason to hate him other than “eww he’s winning every single Unser Star für Baku show bar one he’s such an easy winner”; and maybe Michael too because my only vitriol towards him was that he’s such a great soul... but only on his non-ESC stuff? If I had anyone else at the time, it would have obviously been the energy of Xavier Darcy and his song too! But at the same time Xavier would have placed worse than Michael so I’ll assume that Michael was actually the best possible choice for Germany at the time? Sorry, voXXclub, Ryk and Ivy Quainoo fans.

But god damn Germany, you could have given us just at least SOME ounce of competitiveness this year, couldn’t you??? And you'll know exactly why do I feel this certain way about this next target of my reviewing. Meet Carlotta Truman and Laurita Spinelli that were assembled specially for the German national final (which hopefully gives you a bit of a heads-up of where are the things going) and have a song written especially for them to pretend to be something they are actually not looking like to be, without their involvement... this songwriting camp experience has turned them into S!sters. Got that? Even the exclamation point part? Good, because you'll probably never hear of neither them, nor their song "Sister", ever again. Just like it is accepted for a German entry as of lately, I suppose.

It starts off innocently enough, with the music-box-y sound, and then quickly escalates into the singing on top of a different set of instruments. If there’s one thing I can’t fault this song for, it’s the instant relatability levels this song hits you with: “I’m tired”, “I’m tired of competing”, “I’m sorry for the drama”, “I tried to steal your thunder”... if these aren’t moods. Now what does this message tie into? Of course one of the songwriters (Laurell Barker) talked about the message of it being somewhat related to women who get aggressive with one another for things and I think I remember that the choruses represent their unity or so. However, I’d like to interpret it a little differently. If I consult myself of the meaning of this song for myself, it is somewhat indeed about two sisters that find it hard to get along a LOT (e.g.: me and my sister irl), but the chorus represents that in the end of the day, they’re still sisters, therefore, they’re each other’s family parts and the “fire” burning in between of them is the sign of the by-default sisterly bond and that it can be strong. If I listen to Laurell, however (and I should because it’s HER song and HER interpretations should be official), it’s two women who probably compete for a man’s attention and get angry at each other when they either receive something from that man (”how dare you get more flowers from him than me!”) or they don’t (”it’s your fault he didn’t look at either of us today!”). At the end they’re just “tired of competing” and “tired of always losing” and secretly accept the fact that they should just get the man notice them both equally so he can hang out with two chick of one’s price, all at once. ^^

But what about how the song sounds? Well, that’s the problem. It’s just your standard average pop tune that doesn’t offer anything fun nor exciting. It uses simple instruments (guitars, music box), simple melodies (the main leitmotif progression on this song is C - E - lower B - C), even the simple stage presentation (the girls were dressed in black for this song on the NF). Simplicity is key, but for a country like Germany, they often tend to wander off into a painfully average or just plain ‘misunderstood-idea’ category. Cascada had a good tune but in a rapidly evolving Eurovision their act just looked completely uninspired - just some chick with a mediocre dress dancing on stairs with random camera shots to the backings. While the others were even more fun and intriguing (or diaspora overvoted them). Elaiza for some reason was uninteresting for most songwise, to say the least. Ann Sophie wasn't so bad but the German staging director did not get the gist that turning your ass against Europe is a no way points magnetiser, not even from the thirsty guys looking for attractive Eurowomen. Jamie-Lee was so-so but she refused to let her otaku look go away for her Eurovision performance, therefore everything looked so confusing and there was no absolute point in anything, not even in those laser trees. And Levina was... ehhhhh... and like someone said on Twitter few days ago, this was a song with no staging. It's sad to see Germany sending something cookie-cutter but it's even more awful when they send something remotely decent but their staging sucks at the end. Even the one for "Sister" is not gonna feature the spinning platform they had in the NF originally for Tel Aviv, that's a shame.

Well if there’s something I can admire the song for is that the girls kind of sound good when they do the song live? Unlike San Marino 2018 (which is also two girls only paired for a national final that never knew each other in their lives but having to pretend to be besties after winning the NF they sang on), they truly sell the thing nicely without making it out to be a mess. The spinning platform might have helped a bit more and with it being gone so is the magic I guess, but I guess the ladies might make it work some more at SOME point (at least with their singing)... Also the structuring of the song is pretty smeared out but interesting. I'd expect them to go "oOoOo SISTER! WahOoO SISTE-ER!" after the whole chorus but Carlotta and Laurita are rebels - they use it after half a full chorus, omitting the second chorus line. And they manage to somehow bring that chorus back, so they can end it with proclaiming once more that something "[shines] like city lights, torches in the skYYY". Then they go all like "don't you try to hiiiiide iiiit, dON'T YOU TRY TO HIIIIIDE IIIIIT... SISTER!" and the music box closes everything. Bookends. And its simplicity is nice enough to not bother me, and the instrument touches (again, guitar, and they even tried to make the chorus slightly majestic, with strings I suppose, and thise backings that repeat the song's leitmotif melody) are quite delightful in itself, so that it wouldn't be boring, melred out vanilla with maple syrup - instead it's a bit more 'orchestral' vanilla. It's vanilla that's at least accompanied with some vocal strenght. I do imagine playing just that "oOoOo SISTER" part alone in a background of a fancy ball, with red carpet, punch bowl, silver sparkly dresses and chandelier lights. Everything of there filmed from top view until camera pabs to someone that looks like Anne Hathaway.

In the end I actually kinda like this, and I even liked Levina to some degree 2 years ago (but wasn’t fond of Jamie Lee and Ann Sophie, the better of the average German entries). It stands its ground out more than them - it has more going on for itself without needing to sound like a ripoff of another song or an anime fangirl staging. It has some nicer things going on for itself that I could care about (like the ‘orchestrale’). I have a feeling I might not like the girls' chemistry on stage and that it won't transmit to the viewing audience’s TV screens though, but more on that on the below résumée:

Approval factor: It’s... approvable, nothing much of complete approvable, but the feeling of liking this is there, so go ahead with it Germany...

Follow-up factor: Do I need to say more on this? You know what, these last two years for Germany proved that they decided to not improve on their result, Michael Schulte was just a fluke and if the Germans were more cloudcuckoolanding on last year’s German NF, they would’ve sent that only vanilla NF song they had in there...

Big 5 factor: If (emphasis on “if”) S!sters are staged nicely - decent vocals (no voicecracks like Levina), a bit better staging, “believable” chemistry - they maaaay escape bottom 2 at best, maybe even explore some more beyond the bottom 5... if anything else fails, bottom 5 is locked. I mean, they have plenty of places to fuck up in, like, making the girls look way too fake happy at each other at the end, or just let them scream “SISTEEEER” at each other with no mutual emotions exchanged at each other. Just like Italy was feared to look like last year - two men yelling angrily/passively-aggresively at each other. So can be S!sters, but the catch is that they’re’nt the fan faves. And they’re singing in English. And barely anyone of the “locals” would care about them anyway, just like the Eurofans don’t. (Also can S!sters get better stage clothes for Eurovision? Please? That’s just my flop suggestion, idk if it will give them better points but I would dress Laurita in a white suit (white crop top, white coat, white pants, even the stilettos white). Just because... they could play ying-yang with each other. Laurita can still have red lipstick on if she wants btw)

NATIONAL FINAL BONUS

Soooooo, Unser Lied für Israel. To be honest with y’all, this wasn’t a very favourable edition for me because, for one, I have never heard of any of those final NF acts. Wish they admitted Kasalla to the lineup, so then I could’ve had another clear favourite next to the first one down below that I’ll be talking about in this bonus. Second of all that... like I said, I wasn’t very hyped about this NF much unlike last year, where even some “who is she where did you find her” people tried their asses off to be appealing, and hey, a mediocre German NF filler-declared-winner did not win for once! (instead she went for judging talents in her actual home country and even danced a bit to that country NF’s winner song while it was performed as a competitor) This year, not only don’t I have an act that I would actively mourn of its NF loss, but also aside from my apparent favourite, the songs weren’t even that likeable by me. Yes, a lot of them were nice and Germany certainly upped their game, but I feel the same way I felt with Dora - only one good song, then another decent favourite that I have I guess, but that’s it. Let’s find out who won this NF for me and some other things:

• Look Germany, I found you your saviour you seemingly rejected! Well yeah fine, she didn’t do well with the international jury and S!sters did (only because the biased German juror pushed them into 1st), but let’s all agree her song would be a-bangin’. Meet Aly Ryan and her stylish synthpop tune “Wear Your Love”, complimented with a cool stage show, with projected stripes and everything! The expert jury rewarded it with 12 points rightfully, I’d say. Germany should’ve followed suit :) (also the trumpets remind me of a British NF fan flop from last year, “Legends” by Asanda. Is it just me???)

(this might as well just not matter anymore now that Aly’s management thought that it’s the best idea to block the fans that go to her DMs... granted that some artists could really use some privacy Instagram-wise, but that’s what disabling DMs is for. At least Aly still has fans though, unlike most other ULfI candidates. She should have enjoyed her attention, no? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) UPDATE: despite this people still would’ve wanted to see Aly win, and I agree. Some minor things are forgotten anyway and the artists are loved still if anything.)

• Not necessarily my favourite now but there was this cool chick going by the moniker Lilly Among Clouds. Nothing particular in her song “Surprise” sounds like there’s a happy sky with few clouds - it’s very much so a cloudy sky with a slightly dramatic storm coming out of them, complemented with Lilly’s bold vocals and the tone in her voice, and those orchestrals were something (and this song has an orchestral-based music video if anything). The song dragged in between a lot of the parts (verses felt like a passenger in a vast desert and the choruses were like a big oasis) but maybe those in-between song parts were to signify the calm before the storm, the warning before the “surpriiiiiiise”. Would have been a bold choice for Germany, this chick. Oh and I didn’t put a video down below (instead it’s linked somewhere) because I still have this screenshot on my phone. I love it.

• Besides those two, there also were two other remarkable ladies, and they they have a lot of things in common, besides their dark skin and that they’re ladies - BB Thomaz and Makeda. Two powerful ballads and two powerful vocals! Granted they were not my faves (I like 1,5 of both those songs combined though) but I admire their singingwork. It was magical. Not to mention are their songs themselves - BB Thomaz sang “Demons”, a quite personal song about overcoming one’s fears, bullying, naysayers, depression and everything like that, and also spawned this iconic line I am probably going to use on my T-shirt someday: “my demons can go and *dramatic thump* themselves!”. But I would’ve liked it more if the whole song sounded just like the verses - granted, it makes sense for her to go all showtune-y happy when she declares that her demons can go and *you know* themselves as she’s no longer dependent on them, but I found the choruses cheesy either way. Whereas Makeda, the sweet lil lovely gal, decided to go for a romantic ballad about not hating a guy after he breaks her heart. Her song “The Day I Loved You Most” is one big role model of mine now when it will come to my future relationships: I will never have to worry about the days when my non-existent future BF is a dick to me - instead I will rather cherish the good ole’ days in my heart without whining big time about our broken-off relationship! Yeah that’ll do I suppose. It was a nice ballad to me. Makeda also nailed one damn big great highnote live and that’s how I understood why International Jury and Eurovision Expert Jury loved it so much. Televote dares sink Makeda and uproot S!sters? For shame. Inb4 y’all ask me “but what about the other two?!?” - lol they’re not worth your attention. They’re just twink songs. I like one of them enough to be my 2nd of ULfI, but lbr, no one and absolutely no one, cared about them. That’s all.

• This NF started off with the hosts collectively attempting to make “You Let Me Walk Alone” sound somewhat funny? idk? and then Michael came back to save his own goddamn song out of the entrance door from the audience and right onto the stage <3 amazing. 

• Yet again, I commend the hosting of this show that has, and how much does it try to make a knock-off Eurovision, ever since last year ❤ Starting with the logo, continuing off with live commentary during the ending and the beginning of performances, including interval acts, and a sequenced voting ❤ One of the few complaints I have is that the postcards seemed waaaaay longer than each individual competing entries? I know I tl;dr with my reviews a lot here but some NF shows just get out the stories of singers' lives rather quickly and painlessly...

• ULfI decided that it'd be a good idea to outrival Festivali i Këngës in terms of ridiculously unnecessary interval acts. Yeah. There was this cowboy guy with glasses doing his own tunes, then him again on another interval act (I forgot but wasn’t his name Udo?), then Lena at some point (one of the better interval acts actually), then Michael Schulte, then this one dude from a band Revolverhed (who later voted as part of the International Jury as the German juror and... 12′d S!sters out of his The Voice mentor bias for one of his ladies. Yeah yeah, rigging...)... there were just a little too many, that’s what I’m saying.

• Now how exactly did we all know of the victory of the S!sters? Why, with voting sequences, of course! At first we have had this international jury made up of random specific people, usually giving 12s to S!sters, Makeda or some other twink. S!sters won it, then came the Eurovision panel whose votes were co-read by ... GASP! WILLIAM FROM WIWIBLOGGS!!! ;O don’t worry though he did not dun goof anything this time - the 12 from the Eurovision panel went to Aly Ryan. Sounds hopeful enough, right?? Well, hell no, as then came the televoting results, announced by Mr. Jon Ola Sand and he announced the 12 to S!sters! Oh German televoting, why did you allow yourselves to be THIS brainwashed and decline the good progress since Michael???? I will never forgive Germany for pushing S!sters this far. Putting them up together last minute and also last-minute adding them to the lineup, giving them the pimpslot, making a person who knows one of the S!sters more personally a German 'representative' of the International Jury... unacceptable.

• IDK where to find this but there was this part of the winner reprise where the blonde S!ster (that’s Carlotta) was so overwhelmed with joy that she struggled to open her song straightforwardly and instead let all the tears and laughs(???) take over her. It’s obvious this happens during all those winner reprises that the winner cannot really contain their emotions for what joyballs the victories have rendered them to, but that moment still sticks out to me. The other S!ster (Laurita) was much more collected and later on both of them carried on the right track and sang the rest of this whole thing decently!

For now I’d just wish them viel Glück in Tel Aviv and I hope that their friendship last longer than Jessika’s and Jenifer’s from last year! (probably not because like these two, S!sters are bound to flop, and separate as immediately as the unfortunately-formed class group project participants, just like Jenifer from Jessika)

#eurovision 2019 #tel aviv 2019 reviews #germany 2019 #s!sters #sister #germany