#ikevamp quotes

[natimiles]

Isaac: *stuterring and blushing like crazy, but trying to flirt* I-I like your clothes... MC: Thanks! You should see how good they look on my bedroom floor. Isaac: *dies again*

#would like to do that at least once #and see him trying to look me in the eye ever again #and then kiss his whole cute face #ikevamp isaac #ikevamp mc #ikemen vampire #incorrect ikevamp #ikevamp quotes #incorrect ikevamp quotes #ikevamp #ikevamp isaac x mc

[ikevamp-twitter]

#his writing counts as art Right #ikemen vampire #ikevamp #ikevamp twitter #incorrect tweets #incorrect ikevamp tweets #incorrect ikemen quotes #ikevamp dazai #ikemen vampire dazai #dazai osamu

[worlds-smallestviolin]

Comte: So you've met Vlad.

MC: Yes.

Comte:...

MC:...

Comte: He's weirdly sexy, right?

MC: Oh my God. Thank you. I thought I was the only one.

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[namine-somebodies-nobody]

[Monthly banquet]

Dazai: Synonyms are weird because if you invite someone to your cottage in the forest, that just sounds nice and cozy, but if I invite you to my cabin in the woods, you're going to die.

Arthur: My favorite is explaining the difference between a booty call and a butt dial.

Shakespeare: It's called connotations.

Arthur: *nodding* How about this one...

Arthur: Forgive me, father, for I have sinned.

Arthur: *looks towards Comte, smirking* Sorry, Daddy, I've been naughty.

Comte: *sighs* All language has now been banned from the dinner table.

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[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

MC: There's no way he likes me back.

Charles: Dazai would throw himself in front of a moving car for you.

MC: Dazai would throw himself in front of a moving car for fun.

#ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp mc #ikevamp charles #ikevamp dazai #ikevamp incorrect quotes #okay like i feel terrible about this one but at the same time the way i WHEEZED #dazai ilysm and you dont deserve to be dragged like this but somebody's gotta do it #IM TAKING THE L #also hate that my other thought was: charles. charles why are you being so specific. #charles are you getting little gremlin ideas. CHARLES-- #i gotta hand it to him i was always stuck between being like #charles just bc ur master is a homicidal maniac does not mean murder is the answer to being with mc #charles: but are you sure #me: CHARLES. #charles: :3c #me: #me: he makes a very convincing argument-- #like do i approve? no #but you gotta appreciate his commitment to the bit #baby man appears what crimes will he commit

[clavissionary-position]

Licht: (shaving at the sink) Hey, you remember that pact we made? When we were kids?

Nokto: (shaving beside him) Mm, which one? We made like seventy pacts.

Licht: Right. Good point.

Nokto: What do you mean 'good point'? I still remember all seventy of them. Don't you?

Licht: I mean yeah. I mean... Give or take a dozen, sure.

Nokto: (glares in the mirror)

Licht: (stares back blankly)

Nokto: This is why I told you we needed to write them down!

Licht: No, this is why I told YOU that we needed to write them down.

Licht: What you said was 'don't worry, Lipt! I'll remember for boff of us!'

Licht: You'd just lost a couple of your baby teeth.

Nokto: Yeah, I got that, Lipt.

Nokto: (glares)

Licht: (glares)

Licht: Hand me the aftershave, Nopto.

#ikemen prince #licht klein #nokto klein #inspired by a certain ikevamp ce story fufufu you'll never guess which one #incorrect quote folder

[onegianthotmess]

Arthur: Admit it~

Theo: No because you’re wrong! I don’t use sappy pet names, period!

Vincent: Theo, I’m making tea. What would you like in yours?

Theo: Honey, please.

Jane: Yes, love of my life? Do you need something?

Theo: *exposed*

Arthur: HAH! I KNEW IT! DAZAI, YOU BETTER COUGH UP BECAUSE I JUST WON THE DAMN BET!

Vincent: *proud of himself*

Jane: *tugs on Theo’s sleeve* Dearest? Are you alright?

#theo got set up #ikemen vampire #ikevamp #ikevamp incorrect quotes #ikevamp arthur #ikevamp arthot #ikevamp vincnet #ikevamp theo #ikevamp jane

[cow-goes-moozart]

Comte: I got you a present, bro

Leonardo: Bro these are some expensive shoes

Comte: [reveals matching shoes]

Comte: now we're SOLEmates

Leonardo: *voice cracks* Bro.....

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[daisiesandshakes]

Comte, smiling cheerful: I got Netflix for you like you asked!

MC: Thank you so much Comte! I’ve been using Sebastian's account for months, so this will be awesome.

Comte: Wait- what do you mean .. account?

MC: His Netflix account.

Comte:

MC: Like.. his profile? I wanted an account of my own, they’re about $8.

Comte:

Comte: Ooooh… You wanted .. an account on the service..

MC: Yes! What did you think- wait.. what did you buy??

Comte:

Comte: .. Netflix.

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[natimiles]

I need this to happen:

Arthur: *say something obvious* MC: no shit, Sherlock Arthur:

#just once #it would be funny as hell #ikemen vampire #ikevamp arthur #ikevamp #incorrect ikevamp #incorrect quotes

[ikevamp-twitter]

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[worlds-smallestviolin]

MC is feeling depressed:

Napoleon: Have you tried sleeping it off?

Mozart: Uh, can you do that someplace else?

Leonardo: *follows MC everywhere* Have you cheered up yet?

Arthur: Well, you know what always helps me? 😏✊️👈💢🤕

Theo: Walk it off.

Vincent: *saw MC being sad* *got sad himself* *MC ended up comforting him*

Isaac: I don't know what you want me to do. Here's an apple.

Dazai: You should go to the beach. It won't cure your depression, but it will make it tropical.

Jean: Try holy water.

Sebastian: *flicks her forehead* * ineffective* I can't help you.

Shakespeare: So... How about you play a main part in my next play?

Comte: Get in, loser! We're going shopping!

Charles: Well, you know what always he... 💢🤕 MC: I am not having sex with you.

Faust: I have a perfect solution. Try these mushrooms 🍄 😈

Vlad: Oh, you just miss your grandma? Well, here. *vampire grandma enters the room*

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[namine-somebodies-nobody]

MC: The floor is lava!

Vincent: *helps MC onto the counter*

Theo: *kicks Arthur off the sofa*

Arthur: *lays on the floor*

MC: ...Are you okay?

Arthur: No.

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[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Leonardo: Dinosaurs aren't extinct. I mean, le Comte is walking in this room.

MC: *wheeze*

#ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp leonardo #ikevamp leo #ikevamp comte #ikevamp saint germain #ikevamp mc #back at it again with the pureblood on pureblood violence #truly these jokes never age a day (at least for me) #you see what i did there #although i think the funniest thing about this one is that comte would be so 'ha h a leonardo very funny >:/' #and then he's just drinking in the parlor room asking sebas is he's too old and boring for mc #and sebas naturally interested in stirring the pot is like #'idk if you ask me you don't look a day over 300' #needless to say the man needed pats from mc afterwards #man im dying all i imagine is comte just 'no talk me i'm angy' in a corner of the balcony #lowkey want to write this now--i might in fact #unauthorized bullying of comte will not be tolerated (unless i find it hilarious like i do in this case) #also funny because leonardo isnt much younger--not that that would ever stop him #ikevamp incorrect quotes

[clavissionary-position]

Arthur: A good writer? A good writer crafts their story with superlative attention to environmental and situational contexts.

Dazai: But to speak to the human heart a good writer must employ the language of the human soul, or else languish in silence.

Shakespeare: Yet the soul is a toy and all language its rattling cacophony, so the good writer shall endeavor to-

Isaac: Will you lot get the bloody hell out of my physics classroom!?

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[theundertakerswife]

Comte: Know why I called you in here?

Leonardo: Because I accidentally sent you a dick pic.

Comte: *Stops pouring two glasses of wine.* Accidentally?

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