faux headcanons/observations cause i looked way too deep into a character xd
cw: abuse mention (nothing graphic)
under a readmore cause of spoilers for the end of the game
TL;DR: i think that faux is just a guy whos too chained by his roots and couldnt escape so he took it out on everyone around him in the absolutely worst way possible
Long version: i personally feel like faux has a LOT of unspoken issues, which is kind of hinted at in some dialogue/cutscenes
this entire conversation really felt like he had to uphold a perfect image so he wouldnt (couldnt) tarnish his fathers reputation. he had to do what it took to survive, even if it meant throwing his fellow writers under the bus. his perception on being a writer starts to warp and change because of this, turning into what he is now. also immediately being put into a machine he didnt have time to cope with anything, his anger just got worse. (i think that the death of Berlage was his doing as a way of having control, as he probably felt that he couldnt escape his roots and his ties to the police.)
i do find it interesting that he starts stuttering and panicking, which to me felt like a last ditch attempt to be accepted and understood in some form.
this line really stood out to me, as they are (assumed to be) similar in age. i think that maybe he went through abuse (presumably by his father), so that he views his body as aged.
i think that he really did trust felix, and felix became an anchor for him; in a very unhealthy way. when felix left to go solo, he felt that his stability went with it and was betrayed and angry. so he took it out on him in the worst way he could.
he didnt want to be left behind again, to be abandoned by his crew, so he tried to make it so he was the only one left. so there wasnt anyone around that could betray him.
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Not reblogging it for reasons, but I really agree with that person on here who said people are reframing depression and generally feeling shit all the time as a good thing because of the horrors of Gaza. There are people on here heavily implying that you feeling bad and finding it more and more difficult to live with yourself is actually an appropriate response to war and genocide. In some way, it might be. But the thing is, where does that lead? Does it lead to decisive action in accordance to your values, or to nihilistic stewing and self isolation from your community?
The post went on to call it anti-recovery culture- I don't know if I would call it that, because I get why people don't like recovery culture, especially in relation to addiction, but mental illness also. I think that's something I'm not qualified to speak on. So I wouldn't call this anti-recovery culture. Instead I would call it pro-burnout in activism culture. Do you honestly think people who are the most productively working in their communities and participating in actions to help overseas are feeling like this? Or do you think they have learned to use self-accountability and community support to reign themselves in when they begin to burn out emotionally, and rest and recuperate their mind in order to come back stronger? Ask yourself, is that wrong of them to do, because they should be feeling bad, because after all that is the appropriate response....does it mean they don't care, because they don't spend all their time feeling shit? Or perhaps, the truth is, they do care, and are demonstrating it all the time, but they also understand that them feeling shit literally doesn't help anyone. Why can we not talk about or acknowledge this?
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Unfortunately relatable. I grew up in the church and have a lot of Christian trauma from that. I show up for special occasions for my parents… sometimes. But it’s uncomfortable from the moment I step through the door. Bigoted pastor, the self-righteousness disguising the prejudice, the political comments from the altar. Shots at young people left right and center as if the hell on earth wasn’t caused by the same older generation 90% of the congregation belongs to..
I miss being young in the choir and the youth groups and not struggling with it. It’s wild to look back at the younger version of me who was unshakeable in his faith and honestly just saddening.
I was texting my sister today about it and she said
“I 100% think ALL of us have a ton of religious trauma and everyone else in the family just doesn’t realize it cause they’re still drinking the kool-aid.”
I ran out of tag room and didn’t want to delete any 😭 seriously not lying I could write a book about all my thoughts and experiences
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