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#ill be your dad now if i have too
moon-icarus · 4 months
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one day I'll be enough, I just need to try harder next time
unknown / climbing - lucille clifton / tubbo's stream - date unknown / there is no absolution for the fallen, only the dying - p.d / peepoG_ on Twitter / wikipedia / the sheaf-binder (after millet) - vincent van gogh / 1156 - asofterworld / tubbo3091 / "living for the knife", mitski / calling a wolf a wolf - kaveh akbar / unknown / naddpod, ep97 - brian murphy / fantastic mr. fox (2009) / phil's stream - 9.11.23 / five nights at freddy's the movie / tubbo's stream - 11.21.23 / fatherhood.gov / quora - what is the best advice for being a teen dad? / "teenage dream", olivia rodrigo / tubbo3091
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treemintart · 8 months
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faux headcanons/observations cause i looked way too deep into a character xd
cw: abuse mention (nothing graphic)
under a readmore cause of spoilers for the end of the game
TL;DR: i think that faux is just a guy whos too chained by his roots and couldnt escape so he took it out on everyone around him in the absolutely worst way possible
Long version: i personally feel like faux has a LOT of unspoken issues, which is kind of hinted at in some dialogue/cutscenes
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this entire conversation really felt like he had to uphold a perfect image so he wouldnt (couldnt) tarnish his fathers reputation. he had to do what it took to survive, even if it meant throwing his fellow writers under the bus. his perception on being a writer starts to warp and change because of this, turning into what he is now. also immediately being put into a machine he didnt have time to cope with anything, his anger just got worse. (i think that the death of Berlage was his doing as a way of having control, as he probably felt that he couldnt escape his roots and his ties to the police.)
i do find it interesting that he starts stuttering and panicking, which to me felt like a last ditch attempt to be accepted and understood in some form.
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this line really stood out to me, as they are (assumed to be) similar in age. i think that maybe he went through abuse (presumably by his father), so that he views his body as aged.
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i think that he really did trust felix, and felix became an anchor for him; in a very unhealthy way. when felix left to go solo, he felt that his stability went with it and was betrayed and angry. so he took it out on him in the worst way he could.
he didnt want to be left behind again, to be abandoned by his crew, so he tried to make it so he was the only one left. so there wasnt anyone around that could betray him.
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 months
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...
#i walked into a situation today where my mom was effectively already dead. effectively bc her body was and is still alive. still breathing#painful groaning purrs. but her mind was gone yesterday. my dad said he showed her a picture of the mountains i took that day and told her#i loved her and she smiled. thats what he said. maybe he was just being nice. or maybe thats the last time she thought of me. i dunno. but#the human body is an incredible thing. shes got a heart still powering a broken body. too full of tumors to function anymore. stomach#streched like a pregnant mother. it happed really fast and now its happening very slow#im somehow probably better off than the rest of them. i only got here for the aftermath of a downslide. my daily life will b least effected#i only really saw her twice a year living so far away and she didnt text much. didnt call often. so life wont change much ill just kno shes#not there. which is sad. but theres nothing to b done abt it. life goes on. it hasnt been all bad tho. its nice to talk to my family abt her#how incredible she was. bc she was. wish her mom wasnt here tho. she doesn't deserve to b here. my mom wouldnt want her here. she didnt want#her here. but anyway. i wish her body would just let her go now. so we can sleep. so this can be over. so she can rest#but even like this shes stubborn and resilient. they say it could go on for days but i hope not. may the universe let her rest shes gotta b#so tired after 10 years of this. but i have no regrets. she knew how i felt abt her. and i dont think she had regrets either. she did so#much up to the very end. went out on a high note without the burdon of knowing it was coming#i dunno. its just such a strange experience to watch the empty shell of your mother sleeping like a gurgling baby#unrelated
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todayisafridaynight · 22 days
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no cuz fr the most unexplainable thing would be how they didn’t reunite sooner like,,, Mine could have been staying away because he wansnt good enough for daigo (in his mind) but still i don’t think he’d stay THAT far away 💀 at most bro is down the street at any given time 😭
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reviews are in for Mine Isn't Dead Actually But He Is Emo So
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wild-at-mind · 2 months
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Not reblogging it for reasons, but I really agree with that person on here who said people are reframing depression and generally feeling shit all the time as a good thing because of the horrors of Gaza. There are people on here heavily implying that you feeling bad and finding it more and more difficult to live with yourself is actually an appropriate response to war and genocide. In some way, it might be. But the thing is, where does that lead? Does it lead to decisive action in accordance to your values, or to nihilistic stewing and self isolation from your community?
The post went on to call it anti-recovery culture- I don't know if I would call it that, because I get why people don't like recovery culture, especially in relation to addiction, but mental illness also. I think that's something I'm not qualified to speak on. So I wouldn't call this anti-recovery culture. Instead I would call it pro-burnout in activism culture. Do you honestly think people who are the most productively working in their communities and participating in actions to help overseas are feeling like this? Or do you think they have learned to use self-accountability and community support to reign themselves in when they begin to burn out emotionally, and rest and recuperate their mind in order to come back stronger? Ask yourself, is that wrong of them to do, because they should be feeling bad, because after all that is the appropriate response....does it mean they don't care, because they don't spend all their time feeling shit? Or perhaps, the truth is, they do care, and are demonstrating it all the time, but they also understand that them feeling shit literally doesn't help anyone. Why can we not talk about or acknowledge this?
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rosicheeks · 20 days
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Unfortunately relatable. I grew up in the church and have a lot of Christian trauma from that. I show up for special occasions for my parents… sometimes. But it’s uncomfortable from the moment I step through the door. Bigoted pastor, the self-righteousness disguising the prejudice, the political comments from the altar. Shots at young people left right and center as if the hell on earth wasn’t caused by the same older generation 90% of the congregation belongs to..
I miss being young in the choir and the youth groups and not struggling with it. It’s wild to look back at the younger version of me who was unshakeable in his faith and honestly just saddening.
I was texting my sister today about it and she said
“I 100% think ALL of us have a ton of religious trauma and everyone else in the family just doesn’t realize it cause they’re still drinking the kool-aid.”
I ran out of tag room and didn’t want to delete any 😭 seriously not lying I could write a book about all my thoughts and experiences
#I relate to all of this so much#and it’s so sad how many people truly have religious trauma#I still find myself lucky and privileged cause I know there are stories MUCH worse than mine#it’s really hard cause my parents still think I’m a Christian#honestly at this point I have no clue what i am#even if I end up still being a Christian that doesn’t help or heal all of the years of church trauma#but the hard part is still acting the part for my parents#growing up I always tried to fit into the good Christian girl mold#cause I know that’s what my parents wanted and I didn’t want to disappoint them#but once I started smoking weed and they found out? it went all downhill from there#their perfect angel fell from heaven#and I feel like ever since I haven’t been really their daughter…. I’ve just been living on the outside looking in to everything#it hurts looking back at all the years I spent brainwashed into believing that was the ONLY faith#it genuinely makes me sick to my stomach thinking about the fact that I went to a pro life rally#the thing I was talking to my sister about was how mental health was never talked about in the church#when I started dealing with it and went to my parents or the pastors or any adult really and told them what I was dealing with#wanna know what the first thing they would ALWAYS say? well have you prayed about it? the way they treated mental illness was that it was#YOUR fault cause God is punishing you for something…. that you need to pray or go to church so then God will eventually take it away#and the thing is I don’t necessarily blame my parents (which kinda sucks cause I want to blame someone)#but honestly it’s just the environment they grew up in too… like I’m 99% sure my dad has dealt with depression his entire life#but won’t get diagnosed or anything cause they always believe faith has something to do with it#which makes me incredibly sad cause I just think about how much my dad has suffered and how he didn’t need to#^^ I was typing this out when I was late to my family gathering hahaha but then I think my sister called or something so I had to stop#sorry this post is all over the place - I swear I could write a book about religious trauma#yesterday went ok surprisingly but today? TODAY is going to be so much worse#sure I’ll make a post about it later but I guessssss I should go to bed now? it’s 2am and I have to get up at 5:45 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃#and I have a fuuuuull day of fun Christian festivities while I’m dealing with all of this bottled up and unresolved crap from my past#please don’t get me wrong I love my parents and like I said I don’t blame them - they did their best#it just really sucks wondering what my life would have been like if I didn’t grow up in the church or in a super religious family#I wonder if when I told my parents I was depressed if they would have instantly brought me in to get help
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vote2 · 3 months
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switch to history major yes/no
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butnobodycame627 · 4 months
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hhhhhhh I can't have nice things
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oscill4te · 6 months
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stan her w my entire life. if she asked me to walk off a building i would (tag rambles)
#i dont really talk about dorothy cramp much but she is such an interesting character to me...#i need to write up an analysis on her. I would now but i have to go to work soon :[#grandmas piano and agent x really illuminate how much dorothy struggles w depression and being raised#by an abusive mother#she is also not a good parent and even if you watch the show casually w/o a “edgy headcanon” lense (aka me) you will see that..#the way she treats her children is probably because of how her mother treats her.. i wish the grandma got more screentime too#i wish cramp twins season 2 was as interesting as season 1#i just. ughhh#dotty.. i love u#txt#cartoons#the author describes dotty as a “voluntary stepford wife” ... which considering the way her mother is; it makes so much sense!!#Dorothy spends so many episodes in distress and fear bc her fear of contamination too. she is far from your usual cartoon mom#idk she is such.. an interesting character im not doing her much justice here#and i feel bad bc she has no support group other than her 2 fake friends who backstab her when convinient#and she was forcibly sent to a medical institute in another ep.. society is harsh on mentally women#esp mentally ill moms#yeah i read way too deep into this dumb cartoon oops#her husband is also an absolute useless dope no offense horrace.. i love horrace but he is sorta useless as a husband and dad#dotty deserves better okay. she may be a shitty parent but i stan her regardless bc that is who I am.#i luv imperfect flawed characters#its also good she had sons and not daughters bc dotty is. yknow. she has very flawed views on how to raise daughters#as seen in the pageant episode and other episodes. she would be so harsh on a daughter jfc#ok enough rambles i need to like. go lol
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six-of-ravens · 8 months
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yaaaaay my parents got their special government health insurance coverage that means mom can get her $1500 asthma shots for $25!!
not that we doubt they'd get covered but dad was in such a snit about having to apply for New Insurance that I was worried any barrier would cause him to just give up.
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bunnyb34r · 10 months
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I wish there was a way to convey to your neighbors that you wanna be alone when you're doing yard work sggdgdgd like just bc I'm visible to you and outside does not mean I wanna be friends 😭
And like I don't want to be RUDE to people I just wanna work in peace and do my outside chores 😭😭😭
#my neighbor came over to introduce himself and hes like yeah ive been here 6 years now :D how bout you?#and im like 24 sgdgdggdgdgdgdgd like yeah i remember the past two families that lived in your house man i remember all the people#who used to live here especially the guy NEXT to this neighbor who moved out after like one year who i swear on my life was a serial#killer like something was just really off ab him and he got too friendly too fast and would just show up when hed see us IN OUR FENCED#BACKYARD like privacy fence and he would be like hey neighbors! :DD whatcha doing?? need some help? :)#and i stg i remember this one interaction bc i really think he was gonna try to abduct my mom like i know i sound so paranoid but they way#he was acting was like he was thrown that i was there 😬 like the vibes were bad#and then he just SILENTLY moved out one day like the house didnt go out on the market with the sign no moving vans no goodbyes#he was just GONE so uh yeah 😬 oh and he would only come over when my dad was at work like not in a i dont want him to know im#trying to get with his wife (he wasnt flirty btw) but like a... i dont want him to know ME way#anyway he's long fucking gone and ill always wonder but i did feel safer when he left shdgdggdgdgdggdhdh#this neighbor i think is just like trying to be involved with his neighborhood bc he talks to everybody but i just feel uncomfortable when#anyone talks to me shdhdhhdhdh#marquilla#also i think i might have poison ivy and or oak on my hand from the bushes 😬 we cannot get rid of that shit no matter what we try i stg
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devotedlystrangewizard · 11 months
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as im getting closer & closer to the day that i will officially leave my hometown & go live with my dad i am starting to understand my ocs more
#avani most notably rn. bc shes actually my age and leaves behind everyone and everything she knows#having to grow up the rest of the way in an entirely different situation#because even if the situation youve been in for all your teen years has sucked ass the entire time its still.#its familiar? like. yk. familiar suffering is better than the unknown#personal#ive lived in that house my entire life. ive been with my dad for long stretches of time (all of summer break for instance) and it was fine#i KNOW i cant stay there. my mom's partner has actually physically hurt me and theyre both awful to me#and i also know that the only reason why its been somewhat good there lately is because i rarely speak to them anymore#that is not a house to live in! and i fucking love my dad. my stepsiblings. my stepmom!!#and its not even just the fact that im moving. right. i could probably handle that were it not for me also finishing high school.#i got financial support as a student whos 18+ while i was in high school. now its.#i need to get an income. in a region i barely know. being both physically & mentally disabled.#but not so disabled that im *incapable* of work!! which the law here asks for!!#(or i am and i just dont realize it because ive been working past my limits for so long ive forgotten what they are el em ay oh)#also ill miss my cat so fucking much#i love my dad's cats but shes special man#i miss her rn actually but im going back for the last time in a few days so#i was like. tearing up bc of the anxiety but then i remembered my cat and now im actively trying not to cry loudly#bc its. yk. almost 6 am and its almost waking up time for everyone here except me because. my school ended last month#its bedtime for me actually but i couldnt sleep because i was too busy crying over the fact that i am never going to get that room back#i miss being a child#at least back then it wasnt that complicated! i didnt know i was being mistreated when i was 11!#all of this doesnt even matter that much im just really bad with transitions. which is ironic. im transgender#though granted ive put off getting on that list for that exact reason. im scared of transitioning#like the moment im comfortably settled here and have a job and/or disability benefits. all of this will just be embarrassing#something to look back on and laugh. and then cry because i still miss my cat.
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lookin at my framed pic of mine for comfort is the worst thing i could have ever conceptualized to do because instead of feeling any relief i can distinctly hear him in his godly english call me a dipshit
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lilgynt · 1 year
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i told my mom i’m drugging myself everyday told my brother i’m gonna resent him and my other brother for life who else gonna get an awful truth from me today cmon
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#personal#minimum 3 weeks for this situation to start getting fixed#as you can imagine i’m not coping well#at all#my dad actually just had a bit where he’s like let me call government building#you are a jailer and unfair for not letting me call somewhere i’ve already fucked us DEEPLY#15 ish minutes of me dad telling me how cruel i am dudes not even trying to call that government building#kept saying it but meant the couple who took him there#and again i know worse for him but also i resent him for not dying like i’m very glad he’s alive i think but part of me will resent him for#this and everytime he calls my mom and i the key to his illness i want to bash his head in#i’m not a key moms not a key we’re people were alive youve spurned our attentions and affections before this#granted we have too but we’re not demanding it now are we#but you’re gonna be so fucking cruel to us and only talk to us when YOU need something and now we’re the keys to your illness and can’t have#a moment away from you? fuck you#he’s not the man he was last year let alone during his prime#i never met him but i hate him#i always wondered what he would have thought of me with his full capabilities but now i know to an extent i hate him#he got us all himself included stuck in this event. anyway new brand of daddy issues through this event#anyway told my mom and brother i don’t even know#all anyone CAN give me is thanks and apologies and praise but i don’t want praise#i don’t want to be strong i don’t want to be kind i don’t want to be good and i don’t want to endure#my life has been nothing but a test in endurance and i don’t want it#sure if there a rock crushing me id rather hear that help is coming over any thing#but i’m still getting crushed and these words do nearly nothing for me#i didn’t say that part but did explain the feeling#i don’t know where i’m going with this. like between the copious amounts of weed aggressive sobbing and being need 24/7#i’ve been spacing out bad randomly i mean bad when on purpose too but still just wake up in my body at some point#speaking of just waking up i’m legitimately not even going to sleep anymore get to my room than wake up an hour or two before it’s my shift#with dad#my mom when she finds out i’m not taking two edibles but two bags at a time and also kill myself: :0
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flintbian · 2 years
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Life achievement: three people have asked for my recipes after trying my food (five if including desserts)! 😁
#ive been teaching myself how to Really cook and not just follow a recipe which is why im so excited!#like i could cook before but now ive been learning the principles and techniques and my favorite lesson is about acids in your dish#and all the flavor types and combos etc#like we need salf fat acid heat and acid was missing from my stuff before!#and i said by the third time someone liked my food enough to ask for a recipe I'd have Made it in my mind#and idk im proud my cooking skills have improved 😊#ive always liked to cook but it's hard with my chronic illness...dont get to often nor practice bc it takes so much energy#which is another reason im excited about this!#me and my dad have now joined forces to teach each other stuff the other doesn't know#we'll send each other pics of our latest creations-he's going to teach me the best of barbecue and smoking and frying#he's from the south so#and i literally dont have the tools or capacity to fry but he's going to teach me anyways (he does it in his grill now which is neat)#did you know there's seasoning rules and combos for the type of meat or oil or flavor set? it's so neat and really does work#the biggest one im learning about is umami#ppl asked for my pesto pasta recipe gyudon and now chicken and rice soup 😊#my barbecue has greatly improved but havent shared with anyone yet (and yeah yeah i know im from the north aint Real barbecue)#oh also got asked for a couple desserts too like my peach cobbler and blueberry crisp 😁#before this learning curve my brownies were always a big hit but not counting it#very exciting#p
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daincrediblegg · 2 years
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Yup. It happened. I am dead horny for Obi-Wan Kenobi in this house tonight
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