#ill destroy myself

[uncanny-tranny]

I think it would really benefit people to internalize that mental illnesses are often chronic and not acute. Some of us will never be able to jump the hurdle of managing illness, much less sustaining a sense of normalcy. Many of us will never "recover," will never manage symptoms, will never even come close to appearing normal - and this is for any condition, even the ones labeled as "simple" disorders or "easy-to-manage" disorders.

It isn't a failure if you cannot manage your symptoms. It isn't a moral failure, and you aren't an awful person. You are human. There's only so much you can do before recognizing that you cannot lift the world. Give yourself the space to be ill because, functionally, you are.

#mental health #mental health advocacy #like... anxiety and depression are often concieved of as simple and easy to manage... #...but that isn't the case for so many of us. anxiety and depression just have a lot more research invested into them... #...and while i wish this were the case for literally every other condition it does alter people's perception of you to some extent... #...so while this is NOT solely about anxiety or depression it includes us... #...my anxiety and depression and PTSD have *destroyed* my life. this is chronic and will probably be life-long... #...and that isn't my fault. i've done the fucking work but guess what? that doesn't account for the fact that I Am Just ILL #the least we can do for each other is to be compassionate #be compassionate to those who cannot heal. be compassionate to the people who can't manage their lives. this world is scary enough #recognize that management of symptoms is something not all of us can do - even IF their condition is labeled as 'easy to manage' #i allowed myself to feel angry that i can't heal 'normally' and that was unfair as fuck toward myself #and i NEED people to internalize this so that MAYBE this could help somebody else who is where i was #i NEED them to understand that it's okay that they are where they are - sometimes shit just doesn't turn out how you expect or want #don't beat yourself over you being a person. you are struggling enough. you deserve to rest. just rest please #and just... give yourself space

[charmac]

The way Rob wrote the Charlie plot in Dennis Looks Like a Registered Sex Offender revolves heavily around the angle that Charlie needs Frank in his life financially, and is fighting for him back so he pay rent/make ends meet. Interestingly, that motivation was very obviously pivoted away from in the actual episode:

The script says Charlie won't miss him, but he needs him.

In the Episode, Charlie tells Frank he doesn't need him, but he'll miss him.

The scene which explains how Mac and Charlie started scheming together was cut, and it starts with the idea that Charlie is already struggling financially without Frank:

And, once again when the script has Charlie mentioning rent,

it's dropped from the scene.

(bonus there's a little cut moment of Frank moving back in)

Charlie wants Frank back, but he's competing purely for Frank's affection, the financial angle dropped completely. There is literally no mention of a need for Frank's money/rent that is kept in the actual episode, while the script revolved around it.

Dennis and Dee only need Frank financially, it's their unfortunate bind to him, the literal, only reason they cannot escape him is their need for his money (and that continues to this day). Charlie was being written on that path, maybe doomed to be the third kid, but that wasn't actually executed, and in fact played to read the exact opposite of the twins' need for Frank.

Charlie is happy living in squalor, he'll find a way to survive off pennies, he had been his whole life, but a year in and he can't let Frank go. It could have been because of his money, if played as written/intended, but it very obviously wouldn't be, and isn't, about that for Charlie

#iasip #gruesome twosome #charlie kelly #charlie meta #sunny scripts #sunny 3 #killing myself again btw #charlie day you give us so much #slapping your name over robs as created by haha jk unless #no hate to rob like i get what he was going for in early years cos it 'makes sense' but #no one gets charlie kelly like charlie day #ive said it before and ill say it again but if they ever do a frank dying episode i will not survive it #bc frank dying would save dennis and destroy charlie

[flamboyant-king]

Howdy, I'm still alive. Not many drawings lately, but a lot of ling fun time. I just wanted to share my crafts hehe

My niece had fun playing with the ling plushies, I taught her about the goolings, and she drew Wiwi a couple times. I made her a Wiwi plushie and I'm gonna make a Lewling and a Hoardling too since she really wants her own. Makes me happy. That's what they're made for to make folks happy.

But sewing is so tedious 😵‍💫

#im making gooling plushies right now maybe i can sell those too #but thinking about selling got me stressed in the first place. im not enjoying myself in anything cause i keep thinking #you have to make money out of this. so i havent been drawing cause all i can think of is #now you can open commissions soon! i cant. no i cant i mustnt #so ive just been doing various crafts and diy projects because my relationship wkth drawing is strained at the moment #idk if theres a therapist out there that is creative oriented to help me love art again because i just #art has been destroyed by monetization and its breaking my brain #so no new drawings. its too much for me right now i feel like im gonna cry now about it. i need to enjoy myself and drawing wont help #so ill post other things i do meanwhile. just to update you guys im still alive and kicking and screaming sighhh #other #crafts #wiwi #hoardling #lewling #little creatures

[sadquickchristmassnowman]

I have so many thoughts about all the one-on-one relationships in community,,, like I could write full, separate essays on trobed, jeffshirley, troyannie, jeffabed, troybritta, even goddamn jeffannie, etc etc etc,,, they all mean so much to me and I NEED to get these thoughts out into something tangible and organized or I might explode

#now if only I could destroy my executive dysfunction #then it would really be over for everyone #pov becoming a youtuber just so I have a place to put my extensive and very mentally ill collection of self-made community video essays #I’ll play myself out #community #nbc community #community nbc #writing #video essays #the study group #abed nadir #annie edison #troy barnes #britta perry #jeff winger #shirley bennett

[todayisafridaynight]

no cuz fr the most unexplainable thing would be how they didn’t reunite sooner like,,, Mine could have been staying away because he wansnt good enough for daigo (in his mind) but still i don’t think he’d stay THAT far away 💀 at most bro is down the street at any given time 😭

reviews are in for Mine Isn't Dead Actually But He Is Emo So

#snap chats #crying at the thoght of mine and daigo reuniting at the grocery #like yk when you go with your mom and she bumps into an old friend and now youre stuck in a five minute cutscene #yeah that. but your Old Friend was your one true love who you thought killed himself #and now you find out he's just working at the bar around the bend 💀💀💀 #stop whyd i remind myself of that tiktok where dudes in a coat rack and is like 'dad is this where youve been all this time' #same shit mine's booking it. hes too embarrassed too ashamed #itd be so funny if every 'dead' character did just get kidnapped by the daidoji #thats the funniest shit to come out of gaiden The Daidoji just being an excuse to bring dead bitches back #not that im complaining its 1000% hilarious as hell vjaLKAEKLJ #gonna see kiryu at the daidoji HQ and act like they dont know each ther #a-fucking-pparently since kiryu doesnt even have a memory of mine in y8 💀💀💀 #genuinely hilarious how thats so ... like no i dont think ill remember the man who tried to usurp my son who he was in love with #and he destroyed my orphanage before killnig himself right in front of me. and my son. not worth remembering at all #at least the vocational school quizzes remember mine 💀💀

[holedyke]

of course the night i need to get to bed at a reasonable hour bc i have a early rise is ruined by my own brain working me up into a complete meltdown 😵‍💫 i am a prisoner to myselfffff

#i feel so so bad. tbh #tw for child abuse but i need to vent #i was watching a rlly good doc series on behavioral schools for teens which are pretty horrific and even though i never went through #anything like that. but just hearing the subjects from the doc talk about how they feel ruined after being destroyed like that as kids just #has me really emotional and i cant stop thinking about it bc i feel the same way i feel like ill never be who i could have or should have #been but what i went through just ruined me and ill never be okay i just feel fragile and mournful of myself i know nothing could have #saved me like its some big cosmic joke on me. and i never did anything to deserve that #no kid does amd yet it fucking happens and it happened to me witj zero repercussions which is almost what hurts the most #i just feel like a goddamn blubbering mess with a knawing black pit in my heart and i am never going to get to sleep at this point. #fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkk i just for once would like to feel okay about my past and my future like is this the me that ill always be? #broken and blubbering? fuck it feels awful. anyway. prob delete later but i just needed it off my chest #h

[owlf45]

how're u feeling?? w the twin leaving AND the imaginiary that's lots of stuff

in TOTAL disrepair

#/lh #its okay ill just call my twin and annoy the shit out of them until i get all my twin fuel back #imaginary is kicking my ass a little bit #but. im not going to destroy myself over this chapter so im going to take my time. even. if that means. itll be. ugh. a little late. #tbf tho my chapters are super uber duper long. so. no need to be hard on myself #my asks #imaginary #i finished some courses and am no longer working at second job #so now i just have to balance lab work and different courses #which. is not necessarily easier but itll be a change of pace #i should be able to find some good time to work on imaginary tomorrow

[teetlezhere]

Hi everyone, watch me attempt self-destruct on this bish just because

#nickelodeon ninja run models arent so bad #but they're bad #so im gonna self-destruct on this #wish me luck #how to turtle again? #watch me destroy myself on facial rigs later k? #i just hope ill finish them all #*cries* #rottmnt #save rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #tmnt #riseofthetmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #saverottmnt #its unfair the 2012 get their own model rigs and not these guys

[sleep-safe]

shout-out to anyone with a preventable disability. shout-out to the frustration and the pain and the grief and the rage. if your disability was caused by ignorance or negligence or malice or chance i see you. if someone else had made a difference choice or if you could have made different choices i see you. i see your pain. you are no less entitled to feel that grief even if you could have done something. you shouldn’t be in pain even if you caused it. i forgive you, i see you. if someone else caused your disability i see you. you’re entitled to rage and grief and confusion. to everyone who sees people ignoring the same advice that could have prevented your own suffering, i see you. i see your sorrow, your indignation, your desperation. It’s frustrating when people don’t take your advice because they can’t see the looming outcome. Even when you’re right there.

#thinking ab this. so much lately but today especially #ppl dont understand that dying from covid is not their biggest concern #living the rest of your life carrying the weight of not just a disability and illness but preventable suffering #its heavy #i consider myself lucky not to know what caused my illnesses #and i feel for my friends who will live forever knowing that their disabilities were caused by someone's ignorance or malice or their own #like discovering that anti-vaxxers destroyed the vaccine that could have saved you your suffering #i cant imagine it #its awful having people ignore your advice when you KNOW the pain coming for them #or when you want to say dont be like me but you know you'll be ignored #covid-19 #covid #for the record if you have long covid the disability community is here for u #mcas #hpv #ebv #mono #copd #tfios #bc tbh thats when i started thinking about this #like taking care of yourself out of respect for people who either wish they had or had no choice #sorta like the least you can do is prevent for yourself the suffering they cant esca[e for themselves #long covid #preventable disability #disability #ableism #accidental injury #preventable suffering should be prevented #lift with your knees #im fucking telling you.

[alangdorf]

& btw I’ve lost about a week of my life to thinking about this egg. Hi

#NOT tagging as art #me #blood #(fake he’s fine) #(​considered drawing egg yolk all over the floor but decided against it) #watched the epilogue last Sunday and then Friday we had a blackout and I’ve literally been talking about Maggie almost constantly since #might throw up some conspiracy theory boards to summarize idk #kirby #magolor #(removing from main tags cause I’m a bit anxious it might be misconstrued as hate!) #(for the actual original context: I said this when talking about how all of my recent discussion has been completely overtaken by Kirby #lore and a friend replied to it with ‘Kit standing over a mangled corpse’ and I was like yeah that’s funny. I should draw that #Two weeks ago I was like ‘yeah Magolor is the type of character I would really like but in practice I’m not like super into him!’ #hard cut to a week later. My dm’s with my fiancé: destroyed. My channel in my friends’ server: annihilated. Mental illness +30% this quarter #I was listening to Oh No! by Marina and the Diamonds and had the though ‘oh hey this would make a good Magolor song!’ #The babygirlification process has started and I fear it may be irreversible. #like I’m enjoying myself but also I pulled three all-nighters in four days and I really need to speed up my wedding prep agh)

[karnalesbian]

flight....

#florida if youre as hot as you usually are ill destroy you myself

[abirddogmoment]

What is something you think you only have and will indulge in for Maverick. A special thing that was just the two of you

We didn't have anything really weird that was just the two of us tbh, he was a simple dog who liked simple things.

One special toy I had just for Maverick was his training toy. He didn't really like tug as a reward and I didn't really care to train with tug as a reward. He liked retrieving and I liked watching him retrieve so I made him a rabbit fur ball (shoved a rabbit pelt into a small holee roller) that he could retrieve as a reward during agility and heeling. He loved it so much.

#about mav #mav memories #it was a thing i made just for mav but tbh ill probably use it (the concept) for the next dog #it was easy to make and lasted a long time #and we could do light tugging with it #the ball got super gross and i was sorting gear a few weeks ago #but thats anothing thing i havent been able to bring myself to get rid of #his terrible cat stuffy is an indulgence #it was the only toy that was just his and pike wasnt allowed to touch #most toys get chucked when they get gross or destroyed but not that stupid cat #it got sewed and fixed and washed and it persevered

[thanat0sis]

I guess just in case. any mutuals want my discord?

#it fucking sucks that ill most likely isolate myself on discord if tumblr destroys its site but wharever #its the only other place i talk a lot in for now. that might change depending on when i finish my neocities #and i also got on this forum site but idfk where else to talk in #mors speaks #also if you do ask me for my discord feel free to recommend servers related to my interests id love to talk more

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#theres this feeling i get sometimes. i find it very hard to articulate. its part despair and part awe. dispair at how beautiful the world is #all those intricate little process coming together to organize the chaos. i dont kno y i feel it so deeply or y it hurts so much #because its just. no matters what horrible things r going on in the world. ur body is this miraculous collection of chemicals and reactions #mobile containers of water with a history that spirals back billions of years. and you can hear and see and experience and reflect #and when you die the world goes on spinning without you. if we as humans destroyed this planet past the part of our ability to inhabit it #it wouldnt even matter. there would be continued life past humanity. cosmically we r tiny and insignificant and we dont matter #but were beautiful and wonderful and infinity complex and knowing that leaves me in agony. because i want to kno everything right now but #mind is too small and i walk around with the disorientation of someone whos just been hit in thr face ans i cant focus enough to read #cant make the words make sense and i cant justify the time it would take to try. so i sit on my deck. in the sun. crying as i think about #how the light hit the grass in my front yard the last time i was home. how the cliffs in the backyard are ringed with red lines of iron #separated out as the water leached through the sandstone. how every avaliable surface is stained green as organisms reach upward toward #the sun. and its beautiful and i dont kno y im crying. maybe its bc i cant just throw everything aside and chase that feeling. im not #allowed to feel it. im not allowed to talk abt it in the way i want. bc im afraid no one cares as much as me in the same way. bc when i #talk abt what i study its obscure and academic and so far from what most ppl think abt that they get intimidated and dont try to understand #so i just try not to talk abt it. or maybe im just afraid. bc i have my 1st TA meeting tomorrow and i meet with my new advisor friday #and im worried and im afraid i wont b able to do this in a way that doesnt make me feel like im dying. bc i like to b busy and i like having #a strict schedule but if u throw me that knife im going to stab myself with it bc i dont kno how wield it as a tool without hurting myself #sure ill get the job done. but at what cost? whatever. ill try to b better this time. try to hold tight to the wonder. but that feels like #reaching out into forever. knowing ill never make contact. not knowing what im reaching for. #the closest approximation to the feeling i can find is that scene in the terror. where go0dsir is asking if god is there. any god. and it #doesnt matter bc he can see god in the landscape. in an environment that's so harsh and barren that its killing him slowly in the worst of #ways and its beautiful. its still beautiful to him. there is wonder here. and im wasting my time laying in a dark room crying bc i put #myself into a container so constrictive that the surface snaps and i come spilling out as an angry liquid. smearing away into nothing #unrelated

[vanilladella]

actually fighting for my life tryna not cut this girl off even tho she makes me so happy n shes like one of my best friends just bc im an actual piece of shit n shes too nice to hang around w me. bc im mentally well

#most of the time i can ignore this shit bc ive been to way too much therapy but. #then it comes up that im a drunk who smokes way too much n generally just coasts on in life n she genuinely WORRIES abt me like. a lot #n im like oh lol oopsies sorry buddy #i try not to sabotage my own life but WOW is it hard lol #N LIKE yah i could change n improve n life a healthy life n not destroy myself BUT. but. ion want to #ill only work on my treatment of other ppl but its my substance abuse disorder n i aint ready to give it up