#ill go cry cya

[carl-grimes-fav-wife]

You and me Always, Forever Part 1 Carl Grimes x Female reader

THESE AREN'T MY CHARACTERS THEY ARE FROM THE WALKING DEAD SHOW Warnings: Blood, Mention of death, Cursing, Reader calling Daryl daddy (non sexual way he's her father you fool). N/n stands for nickname TEXT MEANING Purple: Y/n speaking Blue: Carl speaking Green: Other characters speaking Red: Sexual content/Topic Pink + Italics: Thoughts TIME PERIOD: END OF SEASON 3- START OF SEASON 4 Requested: No

He stood there. The boy that had been my best friend since the beginning of this whole shit show. Maggie was holding his newborn baby sister covered in blood. Rick was crying and screaming. But the only thing I was focused on was Carl. The poor boy had just lost his mom and his father wasn’t really comforting him. I was debating on whether or not to hug him. I ended up deciding to hug him. I ran over to him and wrapped my arms around him. “I’m so sorry Carl. I’m so, so sorry.” I said. He just stood there for a minute before hugging me back. “I-I killed her- I- I killed my mom, y/n…” I started to stroke his hair. “You did what you had to Carl. It’s not your fault. You’re not a bad person .” He just kept crying. I felt awful. His father went into the section Lori had died in. “Shh it’ll be okay Carl…”

-----------------------------------

A few weeks later Daryl and Maggie had just recently gotten back from getting baby supplies. I was sitting in Carl's cell with him with his baby sister. "She's really cute. You pick a name out yet?" "Yeah I guess she is... And no not yet" "Oh shit dads back. You good if I leave for a little bit? My dad just got back and-“ Carl had cut me off “JUST STOP Y/N! I'M NOT A BABY, I'M FINE TO BE BY MYSELF!” “I-I’m sorry I didn’t mean to make it seem like I thought you were... Never mind. I'll talk to you later Carl." I said walking off. "He just needs time to cool off... This is a lot for him. After all were still just kids." I took a few minutes before I went to find my dad. Once I did find him I walked over to him and hugged him. "HI daddy! Welcome back. I have a question. Do you think Carl will ever be happy again?" "Eventually. Yer just gotta give the kid some time. Alright, Pumpkin?" My dad said, hugging me back and kissing my forehead. "Okay daddy. Thank you." "Course pumpkin. I'd do anythin for ya sweetie. I'm gonna go check on Rick. Justa make sure Carl's alright?" "Okay daddy. Cya later!" I said running off to check on my bestfriend. "Cya sweetheart."

-----------------------------------

A few months later "I hate her Carl! Ugh why did my dad have to bring her back here!" I said pacing back and forth in Carl's cell. "I dunno. What's so bad about her I think she's sorta nice." He said while laying on his bed "Carl! You're supposed to be on MY side! She's so annoying I hate her. I dunno why my dad even likes her she's not even that pretty." I stopped to look at him "You don't know for sure if he even likes her. She JUST got here. He's just being nice. I dunno what you want me to say Y/n." He looked over at me "Just listen I guess? You're my best friend. And he definitely does like her. I mean c'mon when is Daryl nice to anyone? Plus its not like you're happy with your dad either. After he let the governors people in." "But Y/n he found her. It's different. I wouldn't think to much about it. But anyways. You talk a lot. And you talk with your hands a lot" "Rude. And I do not!" "Its the truth n/n" "Whatever." "C'mon Y/nnnn don't be like that." "Ill do whatever I want." "You're cute when you're upset." "What?" "Nothing" "Carl I actually didn't hear you- whatever." I said sitting next to his bed "I'll tell you someday. Promise." He put his hat on my head and I smiled. "I'll hold you to that then, Grimes." "I know you will. Dixon." ----------------------------------- It had only been a few weeks since I had that conversation with Carl. We both thought things would get better. But boy, were we wrong. The governor had attacked again. Hershel died. Michonne almost died. I got separated from Carl. I thought the world was as shitty as it could get before but no. Without him everything seemed way worse. I was constantly worried if he was alive or not. I hope he was. I dunno what I'd do if I never saw him and his pretty blue eyes again. I'd probably die. This is all so weird. Before the apocalypse being friends with a boy would be weird. But now a boy's my best friend. And to make this whole shit show better when I got separated I also stuck with Valerie. I'm pretty sure my dad likes her. He acts like it. All I want is to just see my dad and Carl again. That's all I care about. They're all I care about. I will admit she can keep me alive. Sort've. But how long till she can't? ----------------------------------- Carl's POV No. No. I wish this was a all just a bad dream. But it wasn't. In the span of a few months I lost my mom, sister, and bestfriend. I used to think girls had cooties but now? Now I don't think their all that bad. I mean hell my bestfriends a girl. Probably the nicest and prettiest girl I've ever seen but that doesn't matter. What matters is making sure she didn't die. The only thing really stopping me from that is my dad. God I hate saying that but after we left the prison he was so beat up. He's trying but he's really starting to piss me off. He's acting as if he's stronger than me. He usually is but with the condition his in right now. He's practically useless. I get he's trying to protect me cause I'm his son and he just lost his daughter but still. I'm not a baby anymore and I don't need him treating me like one. He's doing an okay job taking care and protecting me now. But how long till he can't? ----------------------------------- Y/ns POV

Holy shit. It's him. It's actually him. I didn't think I'd ever see him again. I didn't know I could be this happy to see someone. HOLY SHIT. Dad was with them too?! I started crying. I was so happy. But dad didn't seem to notice me. He ran right to Valerie. Saying I was pissed and hurt was an understatement. But if he wanted to hug her first I would hug Carl first. I ran over to Carl and he ran to me and we hugged each other. "I thought I'd never see you again." "I didn't think I'd ever see you again ever either... Oh my god I love you so much Y/n. I lost Judith and I thought I lost you. I wouldn't be able to live with both of you gone. God I love you so much." I pulled away from him and looked at him. Still somewhat hugging. "Wait- Judith- she's? You love me?" "Yeah... I don't really wanna talk about it... And of course I do. You mean a lot to me." "I dunno what to say Carl... I love you too." "You do?" "Yeah... Yeah I do." "Good." He kissed my cheek and hugged me again. "I'd do anything for you, Y/n."

----------------------------------- I hoped you enjoyed! Sorry if it wasn't the best it's my first fanfic! Part two should be up soon!

#the walking dead x reader #carl grimes x reader #twd daryl #twd carl #twd fanfiction #carl grimes #carl grimes fanfiction #daryl dixon x daughter reader

[azulzstupidity]

Hello! i am a person of many names, i'll make a list, pick which one you want to use!

-Moss -Alex -Azul(my favorite!) -Fox -Karl -Tubbo -Eret -Plushie/Plush -Tabi -Pati -Monster -Sen -Eric -Fundy -Rat -Tommy -Mellohi -Ender -Audi -Dei -Hank

I go by any and all pronouns (Neopronouns i use are moss/mosself, bee/beeself, Ender/enders, Voi/void/voids) I'm a minor so please dont be a creep or i will cry I draw! i just dont post them a lot here I use mostly Tumblr, but i have a discord I probably have some kind of adhd and/or mental illness, thanks mom <3 /hj I like cats, frogs, rats and a bunch more animals but those are the mains AZULZ RAMBLEZ <- main posting tag AZULZ ART <- Art tag! ɪ ᴡɪʟʟ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴀ ᴅɴɪ ʟɪsᴛ sᴏᴏɴ! ғᴏʀ ɴᴏᴡ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴅɴɪ ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ʟɢʙᴛǫ+ᴘʜᴏʙɪᴄ, ɪɴᴄ*sᴛ ᴏʀ ᴘᴇᴅᴏ sʜɪᴘᴘᴇʀ/ᴘʀᴏ-sʜɪᴘ/ᴀɴᴛɪ-ᴀɴᴛɪ

Check out my oc's story please!(SECOND CHAPTER POG!!) https://archiveofourown.org/works/31758277

Oki cya around!

[cyrotoons]

a small update

hey i know its been a while, just wanted to update yall on the situation since i havent been active much

so long story short, this is a really important year for me at school, plus ill be moving schools next year,, plus i have summer school,,,,

ive kinda burnt myself out during winter break drawing (yea ik, my fault my fault, i just wanted to have drawings done in advance in prep for school) and kinda dont have much time left to make up for the sloppily done/incomplete work

ive been working thru my burnout (protip: DONT.) which only made it worse, plus i still have big projects to wrap up to get at least a decent grade

honestly a lot of pressure is on me, mainly cus

1) my teacher is strict

2) i have been known to be one of the kids that do well in school

3) my teacher has put even more pressure on me because this^^^

4) as said earlier, really important year in school for me and im moving schools next year

5) im asian, and those strict asian parent stereotypes are extremely true

6) yay projects, esPECIALLY GROUP PROJECTS THAT ARE DUE REALLY SOON AND WE'VE BARELY HAD TIME TO COORDINATE SHET

7) working on a big class thing, my teacher has put me in charge of something big and i couldnt exactly say no to it

i could go on but to save time typing ill leave it at that for now

school ends in june, though as said earlier i have summer school, which i can only assume takes up july,, and going to a new school, ill need maybe a week or 2 to get my shet together

which leaves about the first 2 weeks of august for myself

how fun, my birthday is near the end of the second week, ill probably be working on something

anyway, assuming i can get some drawings done within those 2 weeks ill probably just really inconsistent stuff

my style's changed quite a bit since ive kinda been suppressing my anime style and been forcing a more cartoony one, so now my style looks a lot more anime

ive also been trying to redesign my persona to make it look a bit more like me, and in the process trying to let my hand do its own thing instead of forcing it to stick to the cartoony style i wanted (when i come back you can probably expect a ref sheet of my new persona)

ive also kinda have this thing where i obsess over certain things for a while, so most often ill be making fanart for whatever id be obsessed with atm,, so if ur expecting more tf2 or portal or some shet theres no guarantee

plus ive been sucked into the genshin fandom,, (i also learned what kinning is and i kin xingqiu sm,, kaeya is also my absolute fav and my dps-)

oh oh also ive been working on this rpg thing for a year now, atm its called oculi dreams, im still in the concepts phase of it so dont expect too much in the near future as im the only one actively working on it

theres probably so much i need to say but honestly ive been crying abt so many things lately this text post would go on forever and just turn into a rant-

ANYWAY TLDR

schools been shet, im stressed, burnt out, a lot of pressure is on me, im behind on schoolwork and have a limited time to catch up before report cards, school ends in june but i have summer school in july, i attend a new school in sept, my art style has changed into the more anime style ive suppressed for a while, im working on this rpg on the side and still in concepts phase, dont expect consistency when im back cus honestly ill just draw fanart for random games im into, the earliest i predict ill be active again is the first 2 weeks of august then i have more stuff to attend to for a while, it is god knows when in the morning and i still have work to do so cya then-

[frostwing05]

#302 Slate

"She's surviving, but it's hard. I know what it's like to lose someone I love. My brother died saving me from a fox attack—look."

HI AM DEPRESSED AFTER RISE OF SKYWALKER EVERYONE DESERVED BETTER K ILL GO CRY IN A CORNER NOW CYA

Bensolodeservedbetter

JAPANESE SYMBOL FOR BEGINNER A A A

Feel free to use with credit

#warrior cats #wc #cat #animal #warriors #kit #starclan #paw #warrior #rogue #windclan #dawn of the clans #queen #early settlers #she deserves better #slate #wind runner's camp

[weebrecc]

anime movie recc ::

- spirited away

I LOVE THIS MOVIE SO MUCH OMGOMG, ITS SO GOODD.

anyway, the storyline is about this spoiled, bratty, ungrateful girl, Chihiro who moves to a rural area in Japan. Her dad driving the whole way, it’s a normal anime at first, but then her dad takes a wrong turn to explore an abandoned tunnel that curves into a theme park. Turns out this is no normal park at all. This park leads to a small market with what looks like to have fresh delicious food, and also, appears to be “abandoned” as well. Chihiro’s parents sit down and dig in, they encourage Chihiro to join, but soon enough the food turns her parents into pigs. 

I don’t want to finish the rest of the description, bc I want people to experience the movie themselves, and feel its vibes, without any spoilers.

overall rating: 10000000 / 10

Haha jkkk, I would actually give this a 10 / 10

- weathering with you

description ( this ones gonna be rlly short p: ) :

A normal boy is walking and happens to stumble across a girl, who apparently can control the weather. A story forms between these two and only them two know about it.

Overall Rating: 9.5 / 10

- Tale of princess Kaguya

this made movie me cry oh my.

storyline:: A poor bamboo cutter was just doing his job, chopping bamboo, then he came across this little baby girl inside of the centre of the bamboo / flower. Of course, he brings her in and takes care of her. She grows into a beautiful young lady and is made into a princess, thus the name, princess kaguya. Ultimately in the end, she must confront her true fate. ***** **** ** *** ****.

( they’re in asterisks cuz I want y’all to see the ending ur selves ).

Overall rating: 10 / 10

- in this corner of the world

description::

Taking place during world war II ( in Hiroshima ) , a spirited 18 year old girl gets married and has to care for her family, buying the food and preparing it, despite the lack of supplies or rationing around. As she struggles during this time, she still somehow managed to maintain to have the will to live.

overall rating: 8 / 10

- a silent voice :

“A silent voice” is about Shoya ishida, an elementary school bully and Shoko Nishimiya, an innocent girl who has a hearing disability. Once shoko moves into her new school Shoya immediately targets shoko as a new bullying victim. Shoyas classmates also like to gang up on shoko just to make fun of her disability. This leaves shoko with no friends and isolating herself due to the pain.

overall rating: 8 / 10

- my neighbour totoro

description::

mei and Satsuki move into a new house with their dad, to be closer with their ill mom in the hospital. Whilst exploring the outside, saki and mei encounter a bunny-like creature “totoro”, who is actually a spirit. Mei and saki go on lots of adventures and during crisis moments totoro is always there to help :)

overall rating :: 10 / 10

I’m really sorry this is so long ahh but I hope you liked it !

cya later luvs ;)

[lovebug5151]

Child reluctant demon!henry

So @inkspottie I know I’m still working on gramp vamp, but I’ve seen the reluctant demon Au and the child Henry aspect to it and I NEED FF! And well, guess Im doing it Lol.

——————

Sammy walked into the small office they had set up with two small cots and slowly opened the door. They had set up this room for Linda and Henry, after Henry had fallen ill. Allison has been able to figure out that it was Sammy’s feathers that had caused this, and he felt awful. Even it it wasn’t his fault, he still felt guilty for letting someone get ahold of his feathers. There was a good point though, since he wasn’t a full angel, Henry would pull through. He wasn’t weak, so there wasn’t really a chance of him dying.

Sammy pushed open the door to the office and froze. “What the?...” the around 3 foot tall person turned around, and Sammy gasped. It was Henry, but he looked like a demon child. “Sammy? Why are you so tall?” Henry asked.

Sammy almost laughed. There’s no way that cute voice could be Henry. But he stopped. “Well Henry. Your now three feet tall bud. And you look like a demon child. There were a couple seconds of silence before a “WhAt?!” Screeched through the studio, sending everyone running to the office.

————————

Shortly after the whole debacle of telling everyone what Sammy had found, the studio went much back to normal. Except the fact that Henry seemed much weaker, as he couldn’t change forms, and that he was stuck in his child form until he got stronger. They found though that Sammy could now hold him because the angel feathers worked as almost a vaccination against holy items and angels. Everyone had differing views on demon child henry. Weird, cute, funny, rediculous, nerve wracking, playful, demon, but everyone agreed on one thing. If anyone tried to hurt Henry... well, it was their funeral.

Someone had actually tried to kidnap Henry a couple days earlier, but Tom and Sammy refused to say who it was, where they are, or whether they were still alive. Though Sammy had come back with blood on his feathers, so everyone had an idea of what was happening, but no one asked questions.

For the next few days Henry was frightened of going anywhere alone, and he was restricted to the studio unless two or more people from the studio were with him. He gladly agreed to that, though he said that all this protection will go away once he’s an adult again. He missed the smirks that were shared when he turned his back though.

After Henry was sure he was safe, he started playing little pranks on people. You know, a bucket above a door way with water, or with nothing. Cleardoor wats trick, switching pens trick, basically anything he could do while staying in the studio.

Soon enough everyone was sick of the pranking. But it only got worse when Joey introduced his finest Black Magic creation, Bendy! Honestly, Bendy was an adorable little toon, and he could do toon stuff too! He was the perfect devil sidekick to Henry’s pranking plans, and everyone in the studio cringed when they were together. If they were whispering glancing at you, you were getting pranked soon. The only people they didn’t prank was Linda and Joey. Linda because she was Henry’s wife and was very nice, and Joey because he was mean and scary. Even Sammy wasn’t exempt from the pranking. They kept it toned down on Allison though, on account of them scaring her once and kicking Henry and Bendy into a wall. Though she apologized afterward, they were undeniably wary of her fighting training, and only did pranks that had them out of limb reach. And often out of sight, because she would try to chase them if she saw them.

One day though, they made an extraordinary discovery. Tom, Allison, Linda, and Sammy were talking when they heard giggles from the hallway. They all looked out warily and saw henry and Bendy whispering to themselves. They heard Wally and Sammy chuckled. The two pranksters whipped around and yelped. Bendy sank into the ink with a “cya dude!” And Henry cried out “no fair bendy!” Before starting to run. We chuckled but then watched in shock as a red portal appeared In front of Henry. He went through it, and they heard a yelp of surprise and a yelp of fear from the projector room. They rushed to the projectors and found Henry in the air flying unsteadily, and Norman on the ground staring up at him. Norman heard everyone come in and looked at Linda. “Linda. I would appreciate if you kept your husband under control. Please!”

—————————————

HEHEHEHEH NOW THAT FLUFF IS DONE ITS TIME FOR SLIGHT ANGST (idk if I’m that good at it plz be nice)torture and stuff like that under this line, if you aren’t comfortable with that hen skip this part.

—————————————

Henry woke up with a start. Where was he? The last thing he remembered was- he sucked in a breath. Was walking by the front door of the studio and being thrown into a moveable demon trap. He rubbed his head. They also knocked him out. Damn that hurt. Henry heard steps coming towards him and tried to cower back, but was stopped by an invisible barrier. He looked down and froze more. He was in a very complex demon trap, one that sapped any powers away conpletly. Usually used so supernatural hunters could torture demons for information. Henry was breathing fast, and wasn’t paying attention to his surroundings, so his first slap with a Palm with holy water on it stung a whole lot more than it should have. He howled in pain, and his eyes snapped to the person that slapped him. He looked about thirty years old, with markings all over his body and one hand on a sword and one hand on a boy about 15 years old. They were both staring at him coldly, but the boy was slightly afraid.

“As i was saying Jonas, This is a Young demon. He wasn’t in hell which is why we got him so easily. Since he is in this circle he is very weak, and you will be able to step in the circle without him harming you. But as for the reason your here, remember. This is your initiation. Attack him. Torture him. Then you will be a part of the Hunters. Are you ready?” “Yes master Mathew. I won’t let you down.”

The young boy stepped toward a table beside the circle and grabbed what looked like a knife inscribed with runes specifically to hurt demons. “C’mon little demon...” the boy murmured “it’s time to pay...” he turned to Henry and Henry’s ears flattened to his head (as much as he can) and his tail went between his legs. He cowered, and then the boy leapt forward. Henry screamed. He couldn’t help it. It was incredibly painful. It didn’t help that the boy kept cutting and cutting. Soon his shirt was tatters and he was bleeding heavily. He was curled up crying, when he heard “master, may I use the ice?” Henry froze then started quietly freaking out. Ice was super painful for demons. Most likely because they were fire and heat, and ice was water and cold. Polar opposites. Henry was so deep in his thoughts he didn’t notice he not walking closer. “AGGHHHHHHHHHHH” henry cried out. The ice was way more painful than he had ever imagined. It felt as though his skin was sloughing off. As he lay panting from the ice, the boy grabbed one more thing. “Several lashes shall get you to pay for some of your deeds...” the boy murmured. Henry cried out as the boy lashed him 7 times, then put ice on his back. This was repeated seven more times, which made it even worse. 7 was considered a holy number, and holy stuff and demons didn’t mix. Soon enough the boy was done with the lashes, and picked up one last thing. “Maybe you will be able to repent someday demon child, but not soon enough.” He growled out. He lifted the Brand and stuck it on Henry’s side. Henry cried out in pain, because it was a fire-ice brand. Made especially for demons. It was somehow both ice cold and firey hot at he same time. Henry lay on the floor panting and crying in pain while the boy went to the older man. “Good Job Jonas. You may join the leagues of the Hunters. Leave this demon here, we will deal with him later.”

They walked away leaving Henry lying in his circle. He was crying himself into sleep when he heard quiet foot steps and the sound of flapping wings. He lifted his head slightly, and saw Allison, Tom, Sammy and Norman walking towards him. “Oh my god...” Sammy murmured. “No... buddy what did they do to you?” Henry cried out, sounding very much like a helpless hurt baby demon. Allison started getting rid of the circle, and as soon as it was gone she grabbed Henry, being careful of all his injuries. They started walking out when they heard a “HEY WHO ARE YOU?” They started running but an alarm went off. Soon enough they were trapped in a corner with a bunch of Hunters surrounding them. Henry was still curled into Allison’s chest, but she passed him to Sammy so she could fight. Right as hey we’re about to fight several red portals opened up around the room. All the demons Henry had told the other about, and others he hadn’t, had shown up. All called by the call of a hurt baby demon.

Soon enough, everyone went back to the studio. As his was Henry’s second time being kidnapped, he was never the same. But Linda helped him through it.

The Hunters though? Well, it’s safe to say that all the supernatural groups learned one thing that day. Don’t mess with a child demon. You won’t be alive to make that mistake twice.

——————————————

Well I guess it ended slightly fluffy but still. I had fun making this, I’m sorry Henry but it had to be done!

#batim au #batim #reluctant demon!henry #angel!sammy #inkspottie #fanfiction #torture #demon #im sorry i needed to do this and add angst im sorry i love you henry

[littlebellaperla]

Into the belly of the beast

Especially when the beast got a makeover

Especially when the belly is full of other people who called themselves “tribe”. Family. “your my daughter” “my little buckeye” “my favorite doctor” whom you havent heard from in months.

People are so fucking fleeting. 

You know object permanence? That thing babies lack? If it isn't in front of my face I wont know its there, hidden in plain sight they completely miss the toy”hidden” just under the blanket in front of their drooling moon face. They threw a blanket over me and called it medical leave. The babies immediately forgot I existed.

The tribe, family, mothers, daughter, friends, colleagues, gone. For months. Then rumors. Im crazy, Im dying, Im a drug addict, I had a break down, Im anorexic and in treatment.... 

Taking a hack saw to my social media pages while crying, Deleting friends I loved so much in fear they would use red hair or a picture of a snake as some sort of ammo against me, in the medical world we call this CYA. Cover your ass. Burn it all. This is my career and obviously these people didn't care.

Cue my re-entrance. “Be Beyonce, be Michelle Obama, give me Oprah” to these people? And the texts pour in about how excited they are to have me back and how they missed me and how God has worked miracles for me (what? you mean i found a doctor willing to treat me for the only things wrong with me, ADD, insomnia, anxiety, without labeling me as manic and accepting my aspergers??? Okay fine I can thank god for that...) I throw my expensive lifeline of a smartphone across the floor (its carpet its fine) because I cant. It makes me want to vomit. Where were they when I was getting stuck weekly, scared that all tests pointed towards autoimmune?

Can you imagine 29 working your entire 20s just to get a career and being scared its going to be ended by some disease? I mean I knew Id die early as a kid but come on that one would be really unfair.

Can you imagine learning it was all stress and a sinus infection causing a white blood cell spin out? Stress from the job you love? Can you imagine looking back and thinking wait, they made jokes about me burning out but scheduled me heavier, they saw me lose 100lbs in a year yet scheduled me through lunch while others got to eat, they laughed at how much I carried and never took me up on my offers to streamline, they emailed me about issues on my contract but never answered back when I asked for meetings with agendas to fix said issues. Then forced me on unpaid break. Everyones backs were turned and I was alone.

Am I crazy to have wanted to connect to someone when everyone in my life besides my partner was there for me during this? Is making your hair red finally after a childhood dream crazy? Is a strangers snake at a bar crazy? Okay yes that last one a little but really I went from 50 hours a week to NOTHING and my ADD Aspie brain cannot deal with a life without taking small technology apart, fucking around in programming, drilling holes in shit, organizing, spreadsheets, etc....so I garden and craft and paint and color and slowly go FUCKING INSANE until they need me back badly enough and the money is fastest here so....

Today Im supposed to Oprah sashay to my new building and see my new beautiful testing suite and future consult room and all the gorgeous arts and plants. Ill also see a lot of snakes. Not bar snakes either. I cant trust anyone. When I did it was used against me. Like cops. Im ready to puke just thinking about some of the looks Ill get. Theres no way to dispel that kind of rumor after so long. Would I want to? Is this who I want to text when Im scared or drunk or alone, who Id want to come over when Im too sick from medication switches to move and bring me soup? I have had approximately three of them remain friends. Three people who would offer a place on their porch, a couch, a walk, bring me food and force me to eat it even though I wanted to puke up every bite, who wouldn't judge my tears or panic or rate of speech or topic jumping. Cant I just start a practice with them?

Now Thats What I Call Rambling, 2018 greatest hits.

[soulytx]

Soul and Alphi~

Day [~] Soul bumps into Alphi!Chapter [~~]Soul bumped into Alphi! Her childhood best friend, He always protected her from people because he know when she is scared of people even if they look at her, she will know if they look at her then she will get scared and breathe heavily and her eyes will be blurry, sometimes cry. ‘’Soul Where have you been?!?!’’ He said, ‘’I uhm just...went into the forest eheh whoopsie’’ Alphi sighed and looked at her. ‘’Ive searched for you everywhere! you said u were coming to my house and you didnt show up, I got worried’’ She looked behide her seeing nothing and thinking to her self if it was real or not. Then she looked back at Alphi and responded ‘’Im sorry im sorry! can we just go i wanna go to ur place...’’ Alphi sighed and held her hand and said ‘’Lets go’’. few hours later they came out of the forest and went to Alphi’s place, Soul held his hand tight and putted on her hoodie trying to avoid and be un-noticed by other people around her. Later on they both were able to get to Alphi’s home safely, They went inside and she took down the hoodie and looked down on the book, Then she looked back at Alphi who is mad and looking at her with angry eyes. He didnt say anything because she already apologized to him, Soul just walked past Alphi and goes to take a shower thinking ‘’What was that’’ Soul shivers and Just had to think about something else, She thought of Alphi and her dating~ She gets happy thinking about it while being in the shower. After She gets done showering she dries her self off and dry her hair etc. She steals some of Alphi’s big pjama’s or Shirts because she likes big shirts. She walked downstairs quietly then she hears a laugh, She hears alphi and a woman, She rushed back upstairs putting normal clothes on and rushed downstairs to see whats going on. She saw Alphi and a woman sitting next to him. She forgot that Alphi had a girlfriend, then she gets sad and Goes to Alphi and says ‘’Hey uhm alphi i think ill just leave I need my things and stuff so cya!’’ She walked out the door before he Could even respond, ‘’oh uh cya then?’’ She knew Alphi responded but dont know what he said, She ran back home Rush inside locking the door and every window and closes everything and rush to her room and locks her self in. She opens the book and Read it after locking her self in the house.

--Few Days Later--

Soul was in her bed with alot of tissues and the book, She missed 120 calls from Alphi without knowing, All she did for past 20 days was reading the book and eating ice cream and being sad in her room. She didn’t care, Then she stopped reading and checked her phone for once. She gets bit blinded by the light and sees all these missed calls and messages etc, It was from Alphi she didnt respond or anything but checked her discord, Instagram, Facebook etc. She saw alot of messages from Alphi on discord, She didnt respond nor read it, She texted some of her few friends like Bluey, AnotherRedGamer, Jenny, Mysox, Kylie, She texted them about what happend because some of them asked and some didn't, to those who did not, She didn't text them. She kept texting to Kylie and AnotherRedGamer, She told them everything and Both of them supported her! She giggles being happy for the support~ Oddly Bluey Messaged her Then she responded Ofc. When she’s done talking to them she gets out of bed and changes clothes and fix her hair and walks outside and breathe in the air. She sees A car pulling up and The person coming out of the car was non other Alphi, She tsk and walked away from Alphi But Alphi catches up to her and grabs her arm and Says ‘’WHY DIDNT YOU RESPOND TO MY CALLS OR MESSAGES?!?!’’ She looked at Alphi seeing him more worried then she ever saw him before. ‘’i wanted space between us’’ She responded, Alphi got confused and sad asking Why, She responds ‘’Because i need to find new people i cant just hide behide you all the time!!!’’ She shouted. Alphi looks sad Because he was protective of her Finding new people and having more fun with them instead of him, ‘’Listen alphi i had feelings for you but im over you now! now let me be’’ She made Alphi let go of her arm and Alphi looked shocked, Because he had feelings for her too! but was a coward to say it, Now he lost the chance to Be together with her. She sighed and walked away, Soul is bit far away from alphi but oddly hears a shout! It was from Alphi shouting ‘’I LOVE YOU!!’’ She looked back and saw the tears in his eyes. She shaked her head and kept walking, But oddly she was crying, She had to Ignore her old feelings and gotta accept her new feelings. She began to have feelings for a online guy who she been talking to.

#Alphi and Soul #rejected #Soul and who?

[saltynemo]

Break-Up

WHATADO Everybody its your boi Nemo back at it again with another fanfic. Noq today I'm gonna disappoint you and leave you with a cliff hanger. I made a Brendon Urie fluff awhile ago but life has been busy lately. Btw, small angst at the end (I'm Jena from the future: excuse writing errors and shit cause this is one of my first stories)

Summery: Y/n decides to fly out to Brendon to comfort him about the Break-Up he has recently went through. This gives him and Y/n quality time together and things start to spark, but not in the way you think

Type: Fluff/Angst

Warnings: Cussing, Small angst at end, Fluff, I think that's about it

Requested?: Kind of, Yea

Word Count: 3.4k (3,478 words)

PT.2

Now without further ado, P-P-P-P-PLAY IT

I have been friends with Brendon since 2nd grade. We do everything together! His family adores me and its like im Brendons sister. I was there with Brendon when he had his first Flirting experiance. I was there with him when he had his first Break-Up. I am almost always there for him and there is nothing separating us. Mostly, the only time were apart is when hes on tour or I have things to do. But this time, he is touring and playing his usual gigs and I decided not to tag along with him. I didnt decide to go this time because of his girlfriend, Audrey. She has always been such a snob to me and I just never liked her. The number one reason I didnt like her is because she abuses Brendon. Its just that Brendon loves her too much to even notice! I try to tell him, but he just keeps telling me the same thing over and over again, "Shes just annoying me with her love and affection" And I keep replying with the same answer over and over again, "Shes abusing you and your money!" After a while, I gave up...Brendon loved her and Audrey didnt so much love him.

I woke up to the sound of a vibration next to my head. I lazily turn over and answer my phone in a groggy voice, "Hello..?" I heard sobbing on the other line, and I could tell it was Brendons. "Brendon, are you ok? What happened? Its..3 am" "S-he bro-ke up wi-th me.." Brendon stuttered. He was histerical. I tried to calm him down by telling him im here for him and such, but most of it didnt work. "Damn, i wish I could be there to give you a hug! You sound horrible" I say, on the verge of tears myself. "Y-yeah i wish too. Why d-o i d-do this to myself?! Am i t-too nice?" Brendon sobs. I tell him that hes too caring for some of these woman and to take a break. We talk back and forth about what happened and how we can resolve it. "Its 3 am Y/n..ill let you go. Ill just cry myself to sleep.." Brendon sniffled. We both say goodnight and I dial Josh's number. "Hey Josh?" "Yea, Y/n?" "Did you hear from Brendon yet..? Im kind of worried for him" I ask, pacing around my room. "Yea, i heard him talking on the phone with someone about his ex. Was that you?" Josh replies. "Yea, that was me. Also, how do you know he broke up with Audrey?" "Oh yea! I went on tour with him, just to tag along. Since im still on my haitus I thought i would give him some company" He says. "How long have they been broken up? Did it just happen?" I say, raising my voice a little. Josh starts to tell me the long story of how Brendon and Audrey broke up. It was pretty violent from my perspective. I hear sobbing in the backround as Josh went on with his story. "Wait, im gonna go outside..i feel like im destroying Brendon by telling you the story" Josh says, moving away from Brendons hysterical voice. "Brendons pretty..heart broken. Like is there any way you can calm him down? Your the only person I know who is that close to Brendon" "I tried! But i dont think I can do it over the phone, you know what I mean" I reply, leaning my head on my hand. "Is there any way you can like..come down here?" Josh asks. I can hear him pacing around outside. "I dont have the money ya know..im living in an apartment" I say, laughing a little bit. Josh chuckles but cuts out his laugh mid way. "I can PayPal your flight! Like-please come over here? Brendons destroyed..do it for him" "Ugh! Fine..Ill have to order the Tickets right now then. Send me your PayPal info and ill get packed" I sigh. "Sweet, Y/n!! I knew you would do it" "But ill need a ride..Can you do it?" "I dont think so..ill ask Tyler or Patrick. Both of them love you so it wont be a problem" He replies. I lay back on my bed, phone still next to my ear, "Welp, ok! Cya then. And dont tell Brendon about this..I want it to be a suprise" I say, smiling uncontrollably. "You gotcha. Cya then" Josh says. I could tell him winked by his tone. We said our goodbyes and I put my phone down. I sighed very loudly, almost thinking my neighbors could hear me. I sit back up and limp over to my Computer

Josh sent me his PayPal info and I bought the plane tickets. The plane was scheduled to leave at 3:00 pm tommorow. I closed my laptop and jogged over to my closet, packing up so I wont have to do it later. I didnt think much on what I should bring, but I threw in a couple outfits, toothbrush, hairbrush, and some headphones all into one SuitCase. I zip it up and put it to the side. Its now 4:00 am. I should get some rest..since I got lots of planning to do. I crawl back into bed, trying to put my worries about Brendon and my schedule aside.

*TIME SKIP Brought to you by Brendon's High notes*

Its 1:30 pm..I called a Taxi so I can get driven to the Airport. Josh texted me telling me that Petes going to pick me up. Im always excited to see Pete and..pretty much all of my Friends, so i was excited. Once we got to the airport, I payed the Taxi driver and headed for the long journey of ID Checking and security. Once I hit my first checkpoint, I put my bag on a conveirbelt and show them my Passport and ID. They aprove it and I grabbed my stuff. I found a very comfy bench near the Exit to where my plane is. I sit and wait forever, untill they finally call my plane. "Plane 3A!! All abourd 3A!" The flight attendant shouts. I pick my stuff up and head twords the door. I show her my plane ticket and I head to the back of the plane

The plane ride was quiet and peacefull to my suprise. No crying children, no kids kicking the back of your seat, and no rude or distracting people! I put my headphones on and put my music on shuffle. The very first song to come on was 'Dont Threaten Me With a Good Time'. I smiled brightly and tapped my foot to the beat as the plane flew through piles of clouds. I knew this was going to be a fun trip.

The seatbelt light flashed aboved my misty eyes. I packed up my things and secured my seat belt. I have always hated the landing of a plane, it just uneased me. The plane decended to the ground and skirted to a hualt. All of the passengers, including me, exited the plane through the door and a tunnel. Once I reached the end of the long corrador, I saw Pete! "Hey Petie!" I cheered, giving him a quick hug. "So nice to see you, Y/n!" "Hows Brendon?" I asked, pulling away from the hug. "Oh, about him, Hes...still depressed. I took a picture of him about 30 minutes ago" Pete exclaimed, showing me a photo of Brendon's head down, his arms hiding his face. He was in a position as if he were playing 'Heads Up Seven Up'. "Aw man...sucks" I say, itching the back of my neck. "How about we go suprise him now?" Pete said adding a cute smile. I smiled with him and we walked out of the airport.

Once we reached petes car, I threw my bag into the back seat and hopped into the passanger chair. "How about we play some music so we dont have an akward car ride" Pete said as he sat down in his drivers seat. "Sounds great, give me the aux chord" I demanded as i smiled a little bit. "Just dont play trash! You got it?" "Yea yea, I wont" I said, trying not to laugh. I typed into Youtube: "Josh says Penis Sized Nipples for 10 Minutes". I tried my best not to laugh hystericly, but i let out a small giggle. I plugg in the aux chord and I turn the 'music' all the way up. "Penis sized nipples, penis sized nipples, penis sized nipples" blasted in the car. I couldnt hold it in any longer and I bursted out laughing. Pete joined with me and was hystericly crying while trying to drive. I was about to change it when Pete stopped me: "Keep it on, and roll the window down!" He yelled through the 'penis sized nipples', echoing in the car. I rolled down the window and pretended to dance to it. We both laughed and drove to our destination, laughing all the way.

Once we reached the building where Brendon and our friends were, I turned off Joshs voice and put my phone in my pocket. "Here ya go" Pete said, swinging my bag over my shoulder. I wasnt expecting that so i crippled a little bit. "Sorry" Pete laughed. I smiled a bit and began walking to the front door. I reached my hand out to open it when Pete held my wrist, stopping me. "Before you go in there...just know Brendons sensitive right now..do your best to help him, he is seriously depressed." Pete said lowly. "I understand, now let me talk to him" I whisper back. Pete let go of my wrist and opened the door for me. I stepped inside to see all of my friends..especially Brendon. Josh, Tyler, Patrick, Joe, Andy, and all of the important folks were here. I waved to all of them and pressed my finger againts my lips. They all nodded and smiled, watching me creep up to Brendon. He was still in the same exact position from an Hour ago. I saw an empty glass of whisky by his side with a mountain of tissues. I dropped my bag besides a wall and leaned my mouth to his exposed ear. "Im always here for you Buddy" I whisper in his ear, putting my hands on his shoulders. He quickly lifts his head up, exposing his red & stuffy nose. His eyes were puffy and red from all of his crying. "Y/n" He asked in a suprised tone. He quickly rapped his arms around me, pulling me into a hug. I hugged him tightly, softly rubbing his back in the process. "Im so glad your here with me Y/n..ive missed you so much" He whispered, holding me tighter. His chest was warm and I never wanted to leave this position. "Ive missed you too, Brendon" I reply, lightly pushing him away. Brendon let go of me and gave me a bright smile through his depressed state. I smiled with him, knowing ill make him feel better.

We stared at eachother for a little while, enjoying our facial features and what not. Finally, Brendon snapped out of it. "Im gonna go clean the-uh-tissues up" He said, walking away to the mountain of tissues. "I knew you could do it" Josh whispered in my ear. I glanced at him, "I didnt expect him to feel better that fast, wow" "What would he do without you" Josh added, smiling and walking away. I found a chair to sit on as I watched Brendon joke and play with his friends. I leaned my head on my hand, day dreaming. "Hey, Y/n/n" Said a blissful voice. I turn my head to see Patrick. "Oh, hey Pat" I said, making room for him. "You really did wonders for this guy, ya know?" Patrick said, adjusting his sitting position. "Yea..I guess I did" I paused thinking of a question. "Speaking of Brendon...when did Audrey and Brendon break up?" I asked, turning my head to face him. I saw Patricks jaw clench at my question. "You know how Brendon called you?" I nodded in response. "He called you right after they broke up. Audrey stormed out of here and i dont know where she is. I hope she doesnt come back" Patrick added, folding his hands and looking down. "I really do hope so too" "But look at the bright side, Brendons bank account wont be empty" Patrick said, laughing a little. I laughed too, relizing he was right. I looked at my watch: 7:10. "Shouldnt Brendon be getting ready for his Meet&Greet with fans?" I asked Pat. "Oh, shit. Your right. Hey Brendon: Meet and Greets at 7:30!" Patrick shouted, getting up from his chair. He shot me a quick wink before walking over to Brendon. I smiled and got up, grabbing Brendons phone from a bench. "Here Bren, I think you might need this" I say, jogging over to him. He smiles and takes it, "Thanks, honey" He winks as he walks back to a table. The nickname he gave me cought me off guard, making me stand still. Tyler patted my back, making me come back to relization. He laughes as he follows Brendon.

I grab the Millions of pens lying on the floor and follow them. I set them on the Meet&Greet table and Sat in a Chair. I grabbed a hard, wooden surface, incase I had to sign things too. Brendon's fanbase loved me, even though I really wasnt that popular. "Y/n, you can sit at the table, I dont bite" Brendon calls, offering me a seat. I smile and sit next to Brendon. I thank him for the offer and we wait for the millions of fans to enter. I glance around the room, looking at Tyler, Josh, Patrick, and the security guards. I saw Andy and Joe, leaning againts the wall on their phones. "Here they come" Brendon whispers into my ear. I grin as I see fan girls come around the corner, with million doller smiles on their faces. The security guards step up, making sure the girls dont attack us. Suprisingly, the fan girls behaved very well. No cluttering or fighting or anything.

After about 30 minutes of watching Brendon sign papers, a girl comes up to me. She has brown, curly hair with freckles. She looked very sweet. "Arnt you Brendons close friend?" She asks, holding a binder closley to her chest. "Yea, I am. How did you know?" "Oh, I mean he posts about you all the time! Im suprised no one reconized you yet" She adds, placing the binder on the table. "Do you mind if you can sign my binder?" "Of course not! And whats your name" I reply, grinning as i sign my name onto the front cover of her binder. "Its Scarlett" She replies, smiling uncontrolably. "Thats a pretty name. Here ya go!" I complimented her. Scarlett smiles from ear to ear and takes her binder back. "Thank you so much!" She says, skipping away back to her friends. I smiled at her as I continued to watch Brendon. "I guess you got a fan" He whispers in my ear. For some reason, that sent chills down my back, making me jump a little. "Your jumpy today" He whispers again, handing a girl back her paper. I bite my lip and grin at him. He smiles and we both put our attentions back to the fangirls.

*TIME SKIP brought to you by Brendons body*

"Ok! Meet&Greet is over! Exit the room please!" The security guard yells. The room is filled with fangirls groaning and leaving the room. "Y/n..my hand hurts like crazy" Brendon groans, holding his hand. "I only signed a couple, so i guess im just lucky" I chuckle, placing my hand over Brendons, massaging it. He groans, smiling a little bit. I rub his hand as I hear snickering in the room. I ignore it and I continue to rub his hand. "Thanks Y/n. I dont know what I would do without you." Brendon says, smiling at me. I take my hand away from his and grin back. "Come on love birds, lets go watch Netflix!" Josh yells to us as he jogs to the cough. I laugh at his comment and get up, following Josh. Tyler, Andy, Pete and Joe were all sitting on the cough together, while Patrick is making popcorn. "Move, Im gay" I say, sitting on the couch. They laugh as they all scootch down. "Nice Brandon Rodgers referance" Andy comments. I laugh in response and Patrick sits on the carpet infront of us. "Get some popcorn before my fat ass eats it all" He says, holding up the popcorn bag for everyone to get. I took a hand full and stuffed it in my mouth. I feel a kernal of popcorn fall from my mouth and down onto my lap. I went to pick it up when suddenly, I see Brendons hand snatch it. "Hey! I was gonna eat that" I say, lightly pushing him. He laughs as he stuffs it in his mouth. He sits directly infront of me on the floor, along with Pat. "What are we watching?" Josh asks, scrolling through movies. "Fight Club" We all yell in harmony. Josh laughs as he hits the 'Select' button for Fight Club. We all seddle down and watch the movie.

After about an hour into the movie, I hear a knock at the door. "Ill go get it.." Pete groans, getting up from the couch and slowly jogging to the door. I put my attention back to the screen, when all of the sudden I hear Pete raise his voice. "Audrey?! What are you doing here?" Pete asks. I quickly turn my head to the door. I really didnt wanna go see her or even move. I cover Brendons ears, knowing the name will hurt him. "Im fine Y/n" He laughs, holding my hand. I smile and I take my hand away. "Brendon doesnt want to see you! You hurt him pretty bad" Pete yells once more. "Ill go see whats going on" Patrick says as he puts the popcorn bag down and walks twords the front door. I keep staring at the conversation, wondering what Audrey wanted. "Move, Emo boy! Let me see Brendon" Audrey shouts, trying to shove Pete out of the way. "Darling, Im not budging. Its best if you leave" Pete scoffs, closing the door. Before the door can fully shut, I hear a thud. I quickly get up and walk twords the door. I see Pete holding his crotch as he backed away from the door. "Audrey! What the Fuck! Leave right now, before I make you!" Patrick yells, pointing to the door. "What the hell is going on!" Brendon yells, stomping twords the door. "Oh..Hi Brendon!" She cheers. I stay in my standing position while i watch the battle set sail.

"What are you doing here?" Brendon asks. "I came here to see if I left my bra here" She said with a smirk. "Do you really think I still have your slutty bra?" Brendon says, walking infront of me. "Well, you must know what it looks like. We have had amazing sex before" Audrey comments sarcasticly. I feel my face burn with anger and embarissment. He stays quiet. "Cant you just leave? Were trying to watch fight club!" Josh, Tyler, Andy, and Joe all say from the couch. I snicker at the remark, but turn back to Audrey. "Well, if you dont know what it looks like, it looks like this" Audrey says, unbuttoning her shirt quickly and exposing her lingera bra. Patrick and Pete turn away from her and face the wall. Brendon is too angry at her to even look away. "Its best if you leave right now!" Brendon says, rasing his voice. "Oh cmon baby..I know you still want me..dont fight it" Audrey says, stepping twords Brendon. I push Audrey and get between her and Brendon. "Move away, slut" She scoffs, pushing me away with all of her might. I was strong, with no doubt, but I wasnt expecting this force. I was pushed back into the wall, my head hitting the wood hard. "Audrey! This need to stop, you should le-" Brendon begins to say, before being interuppted by Audreys lips. He tried to back away but she kept moving into the kiss. I felt my face burn with anger. Everything was happening in slow motion. I ball up my fists, trying to contain my anger. "What would I do without you" echoded through my brain. My face begins to scrutnch up and my eyes are blurred with tears.

(I put the cliffhanger so that you will beg me for more...unless I wrote a terrible fanfic. But whatever. I hope you enjoyed it and cya next time or somethin. Like for more!)

#brendon urie #brendon urie fluff #brendon urie smut #brendon urie fanfic #fanfic #fan fiction #fanfiction #brendon urie fanfiction #twenty øne piløts #twenty one pilots #twentyonepilots fluff #twenty one pilots smut #twenty one pilots fluff #twentyonepilots fanfic #josh dun smut #josh dun fluff #josh dun fanfic #tyler joseph #tyler joseph fanfic #tyler joseph smut

[sauceuser98]

I Think I’m Done

I have this problem of falling for people who I can’t have. I was going through a heartbreak where I decided I was done trying to make someone mine or become someone, someone. I met this girl during this time she was weird mysterious and very cute. Like too cute for me, so cute I didn’t try and flirt with her or make conversation cause she was way too far out of my league. We worked together and eventually she asked me if I wanted to hang out. Weird for me because she initiated the first contact. I thought nothing of it. When we hung out her room was weird lots of miscellaneous items, very grotesque and weird. I couldn’t put my finger on her. We smoked weed and soon she said that we should move to the bed as it was more comfortable. I was so naive and never really had sex except the one time I was blackout drunk and was forced upon. I try to forget about it and don’t count it. I had no idea what she wanted to do. We cuddled and then after awhile she pulled me onto her. I still didn’t put 2 and 2 together. Eventually I did and I asked her if she had a condom. She didn’t I definitely  didn’t. We met up again and then had sex. It was nice for me. The first time type of eye opening sex. We met up again and again and kept having sex. But we also hung out and talked. Not just sex. We had a good time. There was about a week in between each visit. On like the 3rd visit, I asked her. “What is this to you?”. She said “I hadn’t really thought about it.” That was a clear answer to me. I don’t want this to go any farther than this right here. I was spot on. I quickly realized she was addicted to sex and had at least a few other guys that she could text at anytime to come over. We only hung out a few times a month. She rarely spent a night alone. She was sexually curious at 11 and messed around with a girl who was 13 when she was 11. She gave her first blowjob at 13. She then had many sexual relationships with people much older than her. Basically all men. She cammed for a while and sold sexual services online. She claims it wasn’t prostitution and that she walked all over a guy once for money and then fucked him but didn’t fuck him for money cause she would have fucked him either way is what she said. She stopped all that pretty soon before we met. But she had an abusive relationship with this guy. He just wanted sex and was very rude and dismissive to her. He would force himself on her and she would push him off, he would punch her and then force himself inside her. She wanted that though. She fell in love with him. She’ll never admit that she loves him. But she loved everything he gave her. Pain, suffering, a constant dismissal of attention. She was addicted to him. She broke that off right before me as well. We were friends with benefits. I got to be really good at getting her off. I never came. Not once did I come. I stopped trying really. She really liked having sex with me cause I was good at it. But we became more and more focused on our friendship. She claims that she actually really wanted me to make a move to be more. But after an argument we came to the conclusion that I did make an attempt and she shot it down. I was okay with being friends. I cared about her but couldn’t see myself holding her down. And i was practicing distance. About half a year into our relationship she met with another co worker and they went on a date had sex and she was very eh about him. He assumed they were dating now, at least thats what she says. She has a very poor ability to say no to people especially back then. They were now dating but we were still fucking. That came to end and she said we could hangout but no fucking. She hadn’t let me know that they were dating and so I would see them interact all the time and sometime would see him leaving as I was arriving. One time me and her were supposed to play quarters and when i got their he was leaving and I said “would you like to join” he was down and we started playing. He had his hands all over her and I quickly realized I was the third wheel. I got sad and was drunk. I decided to get cigarettes. I forgot my earbuds. Walked back inside and he was on top of her in bed. I did not say anything or even look really. I walked back out. I got cigarettes and walked for an hour or so. I got back and was still too drunk to drive so I sat outside. Eventually they both came out to comfort me. Mainly her. I got up and walked away. They followed me. We all laid on the bed going to sleep but I sat there and waited for them to go to sleep and left. Was one of my worst nights on earth. Cant believe I didn't see I was hurt because I thought she just didn't want a relationship and here she is in one. I knew she fucked countless guys but I didn't wanna meet the guy. We continued to hang out. On the day after her birthday, I came over with cigarettes with a bow and a card. The card had cute bears on it and a sweet message inside. She didn't look inside. The next morning, I said the real present I wanted to give her was to drive 3 hours away to this oasis and spend the day. I said i understood she prolly didn't wanna go tho and thats okay. She apparently didn't even spend her birthday with her bf as he left town and got her a grocery store cake. She got excited and said lets go. We had the most magical and romantic moment either of us have ever experienced. The sexual tension was there. When we got back I expected a long time before we could hang. The next night, She called asking if she could come over. I said sure and we stayed up all night watching movies. In the morning she asked if I wanted to come over I said yes. We got to her place and immediately started having some of the best sex we ever had. Pretty soon after, we heard knocking, on the outside door. We assumed it was the upstairs neighbor who didnt have a key again. She said lets go to the shower. I  said sure. But got up to let the neighbor upstairs. When i opened the door it was her bf. I was half naked and sweating. I remembered her phone was ringing all night and she wouldn't pick it up. She was ignoring him. I sat outside while they talked. She came outside and said “ ill cya later dude”. Dropped my stuff in my lap and walked away. 2 weeks of no communication I said hello and she responded that she needs some space right now. 1 month later she posted on her story and i asked how she was doing. I was growing increasingly worried that I was being ghosted. She sent me a picture of space. I sent her 3 texts more over the course of 6 months. She clarified that she wanted to be friends with me but couldn’t cause it was damaging her relationship with her bf. and she wanted to focus on that so maybe someday we could be friends again but not now. I was a wreck that whole time and realized that I was in love with her. I missed her dearly and was in so much time. I spent that whole time depressed and abusing drugs. At about 7 months. One morning I woke up and I had this feeling like a boulder had been lifted from my shoulders. I could breathe and I knew i had moved past her. I sent her a message saying thank you for all the lovely times. But I am over this. She responded and said she was very sorry how it all ended and wanted to talk about it over a coffee. She had broke up with her bf for the 3rd and final time the night before. We hung out and picked up where we left off having the best time together. We hung out increasingly frequently till it was every night. At about 2 week I said I cant do this if i’m not the only one. She said then “ lets date”. I didn't believe her but we started dating. We started spending every night and every free moment together. It was amazing so was the sex. Everything was perfect. Until one night I was going to hangout with my best friend who I hadn't seen in a long time. I got high scared and so i texted her. no response. I called no answer. I called again the phone picked up and i said hello but then the phone hung up. I called again and she answered she was out of breath and scrambling. Saying how the phone id said my mothers name that she didnt recognize. and she didn't recognize my voice. she also says that her phone was upstairs so she didn't hear it. She says that she was chasing the cat around the house which is why she was out of breath. I asked her what she was doing and she said she was going to have a cigarette. She then told me to hold on one second. She said she had to pee. I hung up and began to cry. She cheated on me. I saw it in my mind. I never even thought of it as a possibility until then and then it happened. I cried all the way to her. I showed up and told her I thought she cheated on me. She was very dismissive and was like “ really??” “are you serious?”. After that every time we spent time apart i would get anxious. I started looking through her diaries and her phone. All the time coincidental things would happen that she would have no explanation for and I would think she was cheating on me. This happened almost every day. It was hell for me. We were surprisingly doing well tho. Soon after we moved in with my parents to save money to move to Oregon. The anxiety only got worse and the stress and fighting became almost constant. She left back home. We stayed in a long distance relationship for 2 months. I came back to live with my sister who lives close to her. We are still in a relationship. She doesn't want to have sex. Or is very particular about it. Weve had sex only a handful of times and ive been back almost a month thats weird for us. I am very depressed, I dont feel like she loves me half the time. Other times i think she is cheating on me. other times were having lots of fun together. Its becoming unbearable and I feel i might kill myself soon. Im tired of this game. I ready to see whats next. I always knew I would never last long. Is 21 the year where I finally get the courage to end it. 

[traditionisabsolute]

129 reactions

- COME ON ARE WE GOING TO FIND OUT WHO THE BLOODY BLUE STAR IS?!

- Poor Soma, at least he’s okay.

- So Ciel, what do you need to confirm...?

- Huh, Paula. I almost forgot she existed.

- “Snapped and broke”? Sounds like some form of mental illness... scary.

- “I just can’t stand to see her cry anymore”. Wow... sounds familiar... *cough* Gregory Violet *cough*

- HAS EVERYBODY TURNED INTO BLITHERING IDIOTS THIS ARC?!

- Violet still looks good with makeup on. What is this cry-proof, smear-proof makeup he’s wearing and where the hell can I get it?

- Violet’s hair is magical too. How does he have no bed head?!

- ARE WE GONNA FIND SHIT OUT!? OMG FINALLY!

- “We carried out a ceremony to brighten the radiance of the blue star.” ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTING ME?! (We CaRrIeD oUt A cErEmOnY tO bRiGhTeN tHe RaDiAnCe Of tHe BlUe StAr)

- Bravat isn’t the blue star. I ALREADY PREDICTED THIS. Thanks Mr Obvious. And now we got nowhere.

- YANA WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO ME!?

- Oh right, the servants. I forgot they existed.

- I just want to hug Soma and never let go.

- YANA STOP CHANGING FUCKING SCENES AND JUST TELL US ALREADY! 

- Bard’s got a point.

- *Inhale*

- BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH WHY 

- IMPOSSIBLE!

- THE ONE THING THAT WAS NOT TO HAPPEN HAPPENED.

- I’m annoyed. I’m pissed. I don’t have any more words to describe how FUCKING MAD I AM.

- Righto. *Picks up laptop and throws it across room* (in my mind.)

- Please, please for the love of god, let this all be a dream, let the second Ciel be Bravat in disguise or something stupid like that...

- FUCK!

- Fuck this chapter.

Cuss counter: 7. Wow, only seven for such a chapter.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go into a corner and be annoyed.

Cya!

#black butler #kuroshitsuji #ciel phantomhive #sebastian michaelis

[invisibleincredible-blog]

AN OPEN LETTER TO WHOEVER IS READING

TW: abuse, harassment, relationships, breakup, police, hospital, mental illness, suicide

2017 has been a shitty year. I came into this year with one goal: to survive. I’m doing a pretty awful job of it so far. I’m writing this, by the way, from hospital. This place is pretty much my second home now. Or the police station. 

I’m sure that you think you know me. I’m sure that you think you know what happened to me, and why. But you don’t. You’ve seen snippets, tweets here and there, arguments, heard bitchy, awful comments, and seen me at my very lowest. This is the final thing I will ever say on the events of this year thus far. So listen up, and don’t think that this is inviting a reply, because it’s not. It’s a statement. Read it and leave. 

In January I tried to end a relationship that had become increasingly detrimental to my mental and physical health. The reaction I received from that scared me so much that I was found being sick and shaking on my bedroom floor, and I abandoned the hope that I would ever be able to be free, so I continued to try and make it work instead. A week later I told a counsellor that I felt that my only options were to die, because I would not make it out of that relationship alive. In February, I did exactly that - I made it out alive. I’m not here to shit all over the year that I spent in that relationship, or give you a list of reasons why it was awful, what I want to talk about is the response to the breakup, and how it’s ended me up here - at the hospital - for the 4th time in as many months. 

After the initial breakup I received a lot of phone calls, emotional, crying, apologising, begging for forgiveness, saying the person concerned would change and get help and treat me better if I took them back. A week after this I receive a message from someone I used to be close with, asking why person Y, who was my ex’s best friend, was harassing them about me. Y had actually contacted many people, I then found out, asking for information on me, ‘warning’ people about what a ‘psycho bitch’ I was, etc. Naturally I asked my ex why this was going on and asked them to put an end to it. Instead I log on to find that both Y and my ex have made accusations about me publicly on twitter, claiming that I was abusive, manipulative, a liar, and a cheat. I wasn’t perfect in the relationship, but I was none of those things. 

Following that, at it’s worst, I was receiving over 100 abusive messages a day. Friends of my ex called up my uni, emailed my supervisors, claiming that I deserved to be kicked out. I received threats. My college had to increase their security, send around photos of who to look out for, and eventually contact the police re: a restraining order. It was classed as a high risk domestic violence case. My ex was asked by the police to stop all of this, and yet it continues. (And also, really, claiming that I ‘manipulated’ the police? Yes, because an 18yr old girl is above the law and suddenly the police act on stories and not the folder of 200 documents of physical proof that I sent to them). 

I never wanted this public. I never tweeted about this when we initially broke up for exactly that reason. Everything I’ve put publicly has been reactionary. I only asked for money I was owed (£1300 that I need for medical bills) after trying to go through a neutral third party and only receiving more abuse. I still haven’t received a lot of my stuff back, when I sent theirs back in February (which I have the receipt proof of, since I know people have claimed I didn’t send it). 

I’m tired. I’m tired of knowing people believe all the lies about me. I’m tired of watching people I know don’t even believe those lies, but still attack me, because it’s become fun to join in the spectacle. People really love to bask in others misery and pain, don’t they? 

I’ve lost a lot of people I care about over this, but I’ve also met some incredible people who have supported me endlessly. I’ve had friends of my ex message me to apologising, telling me that they believe me now, and are sorry for not before. I’ve received countless supportive messages and love and kindness from people I don’t even know. 

If you don’t believe me, fine. I just want to move on. Leave me alone, and do the same. If you used to be a friend of mine, and you’re reading this, now’s your chance to make a decision. Because I won’t be accepting apologises from enablers and abuse apologists in 6 months time when they finally realise the truth for themselves. Stop the harassment and gas lighting and pushing me to the edge of suicide week after week and get on with your own lives. Stop making me feel scared to go out in public, or go online. 

I won’t be on twitter. I’ve had to make it deliberately hard for people to contact me to escape the constant harassment. If you do want to talk, though, get in touch (or if you don’t know how, ask Ellie (@/sapphicly) to contact me for you). 

I guess that’s it. Cya

[englishchinesetranslations]

02.05.10, 04:35 PM EST

The World Health Organization has suddenly gone from crying "The sky is falling!" like a cackling Chicken Little to squealing like a stuck pig. The reason: charges that the agency deliberately fomented swine flu hysteria. "The world is going through a real pandemic. The description of it as a fake is wrong and irresponsible," the agency claims on its Web site. A WHO spokesman declined to specify who or what gave this "description," but the primary accuser is hard to ignore.

The Parliamentary Assembly of the Council of Europe (PACE), a human rights watchdog, is publicly investigating the WHO's motives in declaring a pandemic. Indeed, the chairman of its influential health committee, epidemiologist Wolfgang Wodarg, has declared that the "false pandemic" is "one of the greatest medicine scandals of the century."

Even within the agency, the director of the WHO Collaborating Center for Epidemiology in Munster, Germany, Dr. Ulrich Kiel, has essentially labeled the pandemic a hoax. "We are witnessing a gigantic misallocation of resources [$18 billion so far] in terms of public health," he said.

They're right. This wasn't merely overcautiousness or simple misjudgment. The pandemic declaration and all the Klaxon-ringing since reflect sheer dishonesty motivated not by medical concerns but political ones.

Unquestionably, swine flu has proved to be vastly milder than ordinary seasonal flu. It kills at a third to a tenth the rate, according to U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates. Data from other countries like France and Japan indicate it's far tamer than that.

Indeed, judging by what we've seen in New Zealand and Australia (where the epidemics have ended), and by what we're seeing elsewhere in the world, we'll have considerably fewer flu deaths this season than normal. That's because swine flu muscles aside seasonal flu, acting as a sort of inoculation against the far deadlier strain.

Did the WHO have any indicators of this mildness when it declared the pandemic in June?

Absolutely, as I wrote at the time. We were then fully 11 weeks into the outbreak and swine flu had only killed 144 people worldwide--the same number who die of seasonal flu worldwide every few hours. (An estimated 250,000 to 500,000 per year by the WHO's own numbers.) The mildest pandemics of the 20th century killed at least a million people.

But how could the organization declare a pandemic when its own official definition required "simultaneous epidemics worldwide with enormous numbers of deaths and illness." Severity--that is, the number of deaths--is crucial, because every year flu causes "a global spread of disease."

Easy. In May, in what it admitted was a direct response to the outbreak of swine flu the month before, WHO promulgated a new definition matched to swine flu that simply eliminated severity as a factor. You could now have a pandemic with zero deaths.

Under fire, the organization is boldly lying about the change, to which anybody with an Internet connection can attest. In a mid-January virtual conference WHO swine flu chief Keiji Fukuda stated: "Did WHO change its definition of a pandemic? The answer is no: WHO did not change its definition." Two weeks later at a PACE conference he insisted: "Having severe deaths has never been part of the WHO definition."

They did it; but why?

In part, it was CYA for the WHO. The agency was losing credibility over the refusal of avian flu H5N1 to go pandemic and kill as many as 150 million people worldwide, as its "flu czar" had predicted in 2005.

Around the world nations heeded the warnings and spent vast sums developing vaccines and making other preparations. So when swine flu conveniently trotted in, the WHO essentially crossed out "avian," inserted "swine," and WHO Director-General Margaret Chan arrogantly boasted, "The world can now reap the benefits of investments over the last five years in pandemic preparedness."

But there's more than bureaucratic self-interest at work here. Bizarrely enough, the WHO has also exploited its phony pandemic to push a hard left political agenda.

In a September speech WHO Director-General Chan said "ministers of health" should take advantage of the "devastating impact" swine flu will have on poorer nations to get out the message that "changes in the functioning of the global economy" are needed to "distribute wealth on the basis of" values "like community, solidarity, equity and social justice." She further declared it should be used as a weapon against "international policies and systems that govern financial markets, economies, commerce, trade and foreign affairs."

Chan's dream now lies in tatters. All the WHO has done, says PACE's Wodart, is to destroy "much of the credibility that they should have, which is invaluable to us if there's a future scare that might turn out to be a killer on a large scale."

Michael Fumento is director of the nonprofit Independent Journalism Project, where he specializes in health and science issues. He may be reached at [email protected].

[angyt0mmy]

my middle school crush that turned out to be a nightmare (not really)

this is going to be a blog i post everyday about whats going on with him and me (were not together its so i can vent you know??

so here is a back story

ive liked this kid lets name him Jake for privacy reasons since 6th grade and im in 8th grade right now currently 14 (yay) and so ive been in the same teams as him (if u dont know what that means ask me ill explain) he was in my math class in 6th grade i was completely clueless of my feelings for him up until 8th grade but ill get to that later but anyway he would talk to me a lot he would help me with stuff i didn't get and da da da the teacher had us sit kind of close to each other like all the time i honestly didn't mind we were friends same with 7th grade but we didn't see each other that much 

but

here comes 8th grade and ruins my facking life

so wanna keep reading its a wild ride

yes?

OK here we go

2nd week of 8th grade hes in my 5th period (ill explain to u if u dont know what it is) and 7th period i realized i had feelings for him (and still do im so stupid) and i decided to do an oopise and tell him he played it off like nothing happened occasionally he would bring it up but not a lot we were still friends

1st time i asked him out..... rejected

i asked him if we wanted to go to the mall nope

2nd time i asked him out.......rejected

i asked him if we wanted to go out with me i did it pretty weirdly i wrote a not with a box for yes and a box for no he checked no

3rd time i asked him out.... rejected

this time i was actually hurt because the school dance was on my birthday and i asked him out to that he knew it was my birthday and he would non stop tease me for it i went home crying and i told my parents that i like “Jake” they said

“well if hes teasing you he likes you”

no nope never in a million years

im to ugly for him

im to fat for him

im to stupid for him

the list goes on and on

anyway this week just made me really pissed off and depressed even tho its Monday so today during lunch one of his friends came up to me and he was like 

hey Jake likes you

i said thats a lie dont even start

next period i ask Jake if he likes anyone and i know who he likes its this bitch at school that looks like she facks her cousins and he said 

“im dating her”

i was broken i wanted to cry scream punch him but i couldn't because i cant do that to him so i kept flipping him off and not talking to him 7th period rolls around and i have to sit next to his best friend so i ask him to ask Jake if hes dating that bitch his friend says no not that ive heard of so he goes and asks Jake and Jake said

no im not dating her

OK wow you just lied to me OK you want to lie to me i will lie to you ik im being petty now but i dont care at the moment

oh and by the way he knows what happened to my mom when i was in 5th grade she passed of suicide and i used to hurt myself but i dont im clean now and Jake would ask me if i was OK from time to time)

so yea that was my day ill update you tomorrow and cya

i hope you and your crush r doing great

love u

[wilamoo]

LIFE UPDATE 18.6.19

Hi, I think I’ll start doing these kind of posts every now and then to just catch up with myself and of course if anyone is that interested in my life, which I doubt...

A LOT has happened during these last months, both good and bad but let’s start from the start👀

In March I started working, it felt great to be able to have my own income and not always beg my parents for money. Honestly it made me feel kind of guilty whenever I did but it’s all good now!

Lately I’ve been thinking I could have either bipolar or borderline personality disorder, my mood keeps going up and down and the way I act changes within a second, I get bursts of anger, sadness and happiness, when I’m angry I just wanna break stuff and scream, at one point i hit myself & pulled on my hair because I was so frustrated with myself as a person. When I’m sad, I just wanna sit and cry, everything in the world is miserable and I even wish I was dead sometimes, I feel like a failure, not getting anything done on time, not having the energy to do things, not feeling good enough etc. Stuff like “I hate myself” and “I would be better off dead” crosses my mind. Sometimes when I’m sad, I spend money and once I snap out of that I feel bad that I’ve wasted my hard earned money. When I’m happy, things are tip top, I laugh like I’ve never known sadness, I’m just chill in general, except again, spending money I shouldn’t, but not to extremes of course.

I was at my psychologist before so called “summer break” from school started and we talked about a lot of things. But it felt nice getting things off my shoulders.

I wanted my girlfriend to visit this summer but whenever I brought it up to my parents they (mostly my mom) just disregarded it as she doesn’t believe in long distance relationships. Me and my girlfriend however, still tried planning things but it never worked out because that actual flight here would be so long because of several stops. There are no direct flights and that breaks my heart. I just wanna be with her, she makes everything okay when it’s not and I feel as if she’s the only one who truly understands and supports me. We tried several options as going somewhere on vacation; more south like greece or spain, but everything is so expensive, my bank account would be empty. I love her with all my heart and more and I hate that things are so goddamn complicated. To begin with I wish my parents were more involved instead of calling my relationship irrelevant, when it very much is real. It’s not the 1900s anymore and the reality of today is online dating, which I wish my mom would just accept, plus I’d rather not date anyone who’s finnish, I dislike the language and people here in general make me feel anxious. I’ve talked to my dad about it, just a little bit and he seemed cool with it and asked when we’d plan on meeting but since I didn’t have a date yet at that point I think he didn’t really take it seriously.

School’s going shit. I hate my school and I just wanna drop out, but it wouldn’t be worth it. My home room teacher stresses me the fuck out. I was on sick leave all winter and spring because I simply am so exhausted. It’s easy to say “just do it” for someone who’s not in my shoes, but it really isn’t just that easy to “just do it” and I wish I could just finish up, graduate and get the fuck out and away from this shitty town. Back to my teacher, I don’t know how or why but I’m terrified of him, whenever he texts me and asks how I’m doing, anxiety starts boiling up inside me and I could literally have a panic attack. He’s treated me semi badly, saying I’ll get a grade at the end of said month but then on the last day went on to say “Nevermind, you still have some stuff to do and you should be all good.” And last year, he scolded me for being away from school when I had told another teacher I was gonna be away for blood tests and doctors appointments and what not, which this other teacher had A OK’d. The communication at school SUCKS. No information gets anywhere in time, it’s always like and hour before an event a teacher will be like “OH YEAH THIS..” Like stop I don’t wanna be in this shit hole anymore.

This next part is sad as hell. I lost my 2 “best friends” over the dumbest shit (stupid discord drama). They teamed up and started talking about negative stuff about me and the way I act (mind you I had an anger burst before this) and they think it’s “toxic” and that I’m a bad friend for being truthful and saying what I think needs to be said. It makes me sad that I let myself close to people like them, that I trusted them when they’re gonna 2 face me and turn into shit talking snakes. I still have my super mega good best friend tho, she’s the absolute best and we relate to each others sad memes™. I hate that because I’m mentally ill, I automatically become a bad person who doesn’t care what I say, trust me I care; but I can’t control it. I’ll never see or talk to these people again, because at this point they have hurt my self esteem and made me feel miserable about myself for being mentally ill, which I do not accept under any circumstances.

I STARTED A MAKEUP INSTAGRAM!

This alone makes me so happy, I get to create and let my creativity flow into art on my face??? Amazing!! My girlfriend is so supportive too and it makes me feel so appreciated and loved.

Me and my best friend rebuilt the discord server we had when the “snakes” were still around. I had destroyed it in anger and removed everything and all the hard work I’d put into it. Now it’s a wholesome and supportive community which I’m super proud of to have built alongside my best friend.

I had my first surgery??? Last week (11.6.19) I had my first surgery. I had my gallbladder removed because I had gallstones, I was super scared of getting put under anesthesia, but everything went well! I stayed the night at the hospital and now I’m still healing, but everything’s going to the better side!

Mental health wise at the moment, stuff is standing in one place. No therapy, no medication, no appointments, no nothing... Kinda sucks if you ask me. I wanna get better.

I just wanna be with my girlfriend. Everything would feel better if I could just be with her.

I’ll go back to work on Thursday, because I feel like I’m in good enough condition to work, the pain is very bearable and I should be fine!!

Thanks for reading if you did, cya next time!💎

#red #red theme #love #red aesthetic #red and black #quote #follow me #lmao #yay #couple #ldr #long distance #rant #personal #mental health #life update #friends #discord #drama #paragraph

[survivor-themyscira-blog]

Hello. It's raining outside today. And surprisingly, my game is going similarly. My last Idol Search ended with me stumbling over Raymonds corpse, resulting in me being forced to sit out the upcoming Reward challenge because I am SHOOK. Like a corpse would scare me... My hope is that my tribe has to sit out a player (since it's 6-5-5 atm) and that I can claim that spot. If I am forced to just not submit, then that's fair too. Minor blow. Nothing I can't recover from. (Famous Last Words) Besides that, RIP Ruthie. From what I've seen, you're awesome, but oh well... that's the game. Let the current Hippos jump at each others throats. I'll just be somebody you wanna be friends with. I feel very safe within Menalippe and I think I'd be comfortable in case we Swap. Cya! The Skies are crying over Ruthie... Don't cry, sky! You're next!

Wooo that tribal was Fucking lit. Obviously Jaiden proved he won't work with me. Seriously dude, sometimes you should just save big moves for merge. Way to single yourself out as someone I can't trust and that's what this vote was about. Finding who I can trust. Fun fact for all of you reading this post game, Madeline and I talk on the phone! I need her to work with me and she works with me!

Being close and working with Ian has become the best move I've made in the game so far.

So I had to have a couple of days away since I had an ill bubba but the tribe has been amazingly supportive, considering I expected to go asap - we haven't been to tribal yet so I still might -, its a nice friendly tribe and everyone tries their hardest so I just need to pull my socks up to match that!

DONT GIVE US FLASH GAME CHALLENGES WHEN JORDAN IS IN THIS GAME??? WHY?? EVERYONE HAS PLAYED WITH JORDAN PINES, NOT TO MENTION HE AND LILY ARE ON THE SAME TEAM AND THEY BOTH DOMINATE FLASH GAMES GRR

WHY DONT I READ THE MOTHER FUCKING DIRECTIONS?????? i fkdsjkflas fjkdsfkasdfk fjdsnkfasdkf god i truly hate myself i didn't read and then i submitted my first score for casanova and i- whew. i just didn't read. and we could only submit once. my hope is that other people on the other tribes also didn't read and submit shittier scores than me! lol but i got 70k which is good for me but for others? i don't know. i am shit at flash games okay i truly am. and which 1/2 of our tribe being inactive, i'm not expecting much out of this comp. the men lips are losing a lip tomorrow night. rip in peace to ... probably madison at this rate lmao. let's just hope she doesn't have any special powers!!! omg fjdkjfaslf but like she's been so inactive maybe she hasn't been searching the island? idk that's what i hope. and ruthie went home last night over rocks and i SCREAMED how can the rocks do that to RUTHIE!!! also i just talked to logan about this flash game and he says that he gets like two million on casanova and i just- WHAT H O W??????? i dont even know. i also just realized this is, in fact, a reward challenge, so i feel less shitty about my score. it's just reward but... logan thinks antiope is gonna win it and give us the disadvantage but like! that's ugly! anyways more like actual survivor related stuff going on, i think kai, logan, and i are going to make a group thing and roll with that. i feel a swap coming on soon but... who can never be sure? it could be at 15 and we're divided into three tribes or five or it could be at 14 and we're divided into two tribes of seven... i don't know which i'd prefer because i like having very few people on our tribe bc it's less people to talk to but also less options to vote out come tribal... ugly! also because half my tribe is inactive! this is >:-(

https://youtu.be/SIt2jOUDLug

https://youtu.be/9QhJFyjE6v0

https://youtu.be/XvkrD_DkVDA

It is currently 3:36AM EST and all the Europeans are up and so I’m talking to Amanda and Andreas. I think we’ve decided that Kai sit out this challenge, which I’m fine with. He hasn’t helped much the previous challenges lmao. Anyway, I’ve been thinking a lot about allies and who I want to get with. I have 0 alliances so far but there’s definitely an unspoken thing between Kai, Logan, and I (well, I know they’re very close so it’s probably not unspoken to them, but unspoken to me.). But I’m struggling because I’m starting to really like Madison and Amanda? The two people Logan and Kai want out? And this is definitely a predicament. So like... I love women. And my goal was to work with women. So you know... Madison and Amanda? But on the other hand, I love Logan and Kai. Logan really wants Amanda out for voting out Dan, who he was close with. And so I’m :-/. I like both sides and I’m just hoping that I don’t have to choose a side so soon. Or maybe I’ll luck out and convince people to vote out Andreas! Who can never be sure? I’m just stressed and not sure where I want my loyalties (I don’t actually have loyalty to anyone - so these are like alleged) to go. Logan and Kai or Amanda and Madison? Choices are to be made.

[11:18:20 AM] Jordan Pines: here drew make some confessionals for me [11:18:24 AM] Jordan Pines: tell them about my gameplay [11:18:39 AM] Jordan Pines: I’m aligned wiht lily and jack, sort of with rhone and nicholas and i have no idols [11:18:42 AM] Jordan Pines: do with that what you will [11:18:55 AM] Jordan Pines: make me sound smart

I MISS MADELINE WHY CANT WE BE ON THE SAME TRIBE AGAIN

I just royally flopped that challenge. SO BAD. Like okay... I had sixty seconds to think of things and one round I only got like five points! I'm literally such a piece of shit I feel like I'm going to HEAVILY let down my tribe!!!!!! If we lose because of me... at least I'm in a good spot socially but HOLY SHIT I'm so fkdjskla this is not good not good not good. I'm just hoping other people flopped this challenge too and that my last round (words that start with W) can save me. I got 26 points there... Probably could've gotten more but I'm a dumbs. I also couldn't think of any TV shows that have strong female leads! Like I'm not sure if there's like a shortage or if I just don't watch the shows. I got like 6 points and typed two wrong lmao. I even said the vampire diaries but a bitch has never seen vampire diaries so I was just guessing lmao. But I also spelled it wrong so ANYWAY! I feel so guilty I feel like I've helped a whole lot these past challenges and this one............. I flopped a whole whole whole lot :-/

Last game I played, I was the type of person to pour themselves a bowl of cereal and then realize that there wasn’t any milk in the refrigerator. This game, I’m checking the refrigerator before I pour my cereal. I’m not going to make dumb decisions then realize that my goals can’t be fulfilled. I need to think through everything. Also I love cereal

Apparently Survivor US is not a spin off show from Survivor that takes place only in the states so guessing Alabama didn't win me any points.

My name is Ian Eugene Layne, Commander of the Armies of the Devil's Lair, Generally well liked by the Aphi Sa Legions. loyal servant to the true Sole Survivor, Zachary Rae, ally to a murdered Icon, friend of the Robbed Queen And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.

Once again we skate by in second place!!! I love being immune!!! I have yet to go to tribal and I love it! :-) But I’m also sending a swap after this... whew. Let’s just hope that whatever tribe I end up on is full of comp beasts and allies! Woohoo! LOL anyways I love winning and I hope that keeps happening.

ok so i haven't made a confessional in 1900 years but i am so happy! i love this tribe a lot and think that all 5 of us left have a lot left to contribute to the game so i think it is 100% in my best interest to hope that we keep winning these challenges! there are some strong players like jordan on my tribe who i want on my side for sure! rhone & jack are cool too and i think that if we go to a tribal the majority alliance of hippos og might not be enough to keep me safe so it is definitely a relief that i am able to be safe this round. but numbers wise i think we are about to get either a swap or a merge into 2 tribes coming up so lets just hope that i can merge/swap into the majority! i also feel like now i have gotten rid of the 'inactive/slacker' stigma i had from og hippo and now people will take me seriously but they will also recall how i didn't attempt the first challenge so i'm less threatening! whew lets hope for the best!!

HAHAHAHAHAH Hippo back to tribal! I hate it for them, those are some nice folks but....  ha!

I’m so sick of losing challenges!!! UGH!!! I don’t really know what we’re gonna do this vote. I have a feeling my name will come up at some point or another, but right now I’m putting a whole ton of trust into Billy to keep our plans secret. Right off the bat, I’m pissed off that we lost by such a close margin. But then I realize just how terribly people performed in certain aspects of the challenge, like the second category??? It was literally Survivor seasons and everyone besides me scored less than 10. How hard is it to think of ten seasons of Survivor. Apparently, very hard because nobody was capable of processing that kind of information. So anyways, I get over this initial anger by campaigning to Ian that he needs to get rid of Toph and keep me around, even though I betrayed his trust last vote by forcing an unnecessary rock draw. My plea is that I’m good in the challenges and I have no power on this tribe. He and Madeline have that power, so it’s their choice to either keep me around as an asset or take a gamble with Toph and Billy. Billy and I both know that Ian and Madeline are going to continue to control what this tribe does for the long run. But Billy wants Madeline to go home more than anything, and I agree. I recognize that taking out Toph only delays the inevitable a lot longer – Madeline and Ian will remain loyal to potential previous tribe alliances than they will with me or Billy. Someone needs to deal with them, and unfortunately it has to be me. Losing Ruthie last round is both a blessing and a curse. I think it’s a curse because I lose one solid person I could work with for a long time, but it’s a blessing because she far too honest and nice to make the kinds of moves I’m gonna have to make in this game. If Billy went home last round, we would certainly take out Toph and gain zero traction within this tribe. Since I have Billy still here, we can actually take a shot at Madeline and Ian and hopefully take back a little of the control here. I’m going to throw Toph under the bus hard and pray that Madeline and Ian take the bait. I also hope that fucking Billy doesn’t backstab me at the most inconvenient time… I think Billy has better options with people not named Jaiden Hantz, so ideally I keep him thinking that I’m his BEST ally. Also, I don’t need Madeline and Ian realizing that Billy and I are super close and have them decide to just split us up. If they take out Billy, I’m FUCKED because I’ll have exposed my loyalties and look even dumber than I have before. Idk man. I just wanna survive the vote.

Damn son, Antiope is going strong! Poor Hippos getting their wings clipped. :'( But who cares about those as long as Men's Lips are safe? Either way, with this Immunity, I've guaranteed my spot in the Final 15... and I expect that a Tribe Swap is just around the corner. We could be put in 3 Tribes of 5... that would make sense imo. At this point, only Emily, Kai and Myself haven't attended a single Tribal Council and those two are my closest allies on my tribe now. Madison is our only outsider on Menalippe, but I tried to stay a bit friendly with her, since Emily said that she's close with JP, who I don't want to have as an enemy.... yet. In case of a Swap, I'd like Emily on my tribe the most (but seeing how well she does in challenges, she should be safe on any tribe until merge). I would be happy enough with JP, Madison, Kai, Logan, Ian and Toph. I'd be happy to play with Billy as well but I think he's the one who's getting voted out tonight. Idk the others too well or at all. If I'm with Amanda, it depends on who's on the tribe to see if I wanna cooperate with her or not. The weather today is as eventless as this day in Themyscira.

Damn... i really thouhht i did quite well... and yet we were like 10 points away from tribal and 200 away from first place... like we need to step up our game

Y’all I keep thinking about that empty spot when I jumped off the cliff... what the FUCK what there!!! Who has it now!!! Will this prevent me from voting someone out that I really want to vote out!!! Will this fuck me over!!! I don’t know what’s going ON MAN IM SCREAMING

Also can Kai and Logan just add me into an alliance chat already like wtf we’ve been talking about it for like a week let’s just DO IT

I really hope this vote goes the way we want it to. I feel if this hadn't gone to the rocks last time and we had Ruthie still we wouldn't have even been to this second tribal in a row.

Ugh my god this game is so slow paced right now. Cant we just have a triple tribal and like... idk vote someone out and have DRAMA!! I am bored out of my mind right here right now... Ughhh

I can’t decide who I want to join uS. If what they are saying about Madeline is true then her

QUEEN MADELINE SURVIVING THAT 3-2 VOTE NUT I CANT WAIT UNTIL WE SWAP TRIBES AND I CAN TALK TO HER AGAIN UGHHHHHH I miss her I want to be her BFF but queenie for voting out another boy I can’t wait to get all the tea on her tribe UGH I MISS HER jebwjwbwjwnw

Things might be getting spicy folks https://youtu.be/5ZWKrQnaVxs

#whatidoisnotuptoyou #athena11 #episodes