#ill keep trying to break them up

[skitskatdacat63]

Okay now where's the Seb teddy bear so I can make them kiss each other!?

+

#okay btw you can credit the last frame to suzuki #bcs she brought up the pig stuffed animal that seb kept as a good luck charm when he was karting #and suggested the same with fernando's bear :DDD #also feeling weirdly sappy abt the fact that theres pics of fernando in the ferrari garage w an almost identical pig like ?????? #anyways please yes have this random vettonso comic 🥰🥰 #im working on a bigger vettonso drawing rn so i made this quick in the meantime! #icl i saw the fernando teddy bear. and i made the eyebrow post and whatever #but there was also just this image in the back haunting me of him gifting one to seb #I AM DELUSIONAL!!! #its just so cute to imagine it as like 'heres a memento of me to keep you company' 🥺🥺🥺🥺 #funny tho cause i had the same exact imagine for my ocs and i never drew a comic version for them yet drew this real quick #the power of vettonso takes hold of me sometimes..... #tfw you take a break from your vettonso painting youve been working on for a wk+ to go draw a vettonso comic #i have a problem. #ANYWAYS THIS IS SO CUTE WAAAHHHH #drew it as cope bcs in trying to restrain myself from buying the fernando teddy bear #if i cant have it ill make seb have it yknow 🤭🤭🤭 #wah this reminded i should draw more little comics theyre not too hard tbh #f1 #formula 1 #sebastian vettel #fernando alonso #vettonso #catie.art

[arsenicflame]

ive had to step away from all the analysis of the finale because thinking about it for too long it fills me with such a [rage? bitterness? frustration? all of the above?] the likes of which ive genuinely never felt for a show before

ive cared about media before. ive been disappointed by media before, but i think the difference is i haven't put my faith in media like i did ofmd- and the more time passes the more i feel fucking stupid for putting that faith in the show in the first place, when so many of the things coming to light now were already there

i cant think about it too long else it makes me so fucking sad, and im tired of analysing it to bits because its not going to change anything, theres no way to fix any of this, no way to find a spark of light in it, no way to come back, to resurrect the show i fucking loved.

im sure everything everyone is saying is well thought out and nuanced things but for the sake of my own enjoyment of this fucking show i have to just not engage with it anymore.

#the last post was the exception to this and its only bc that segment of the interview was directly on my feed #like im sorry if you followed me for my serious takes and now youre getting silly goofy dude #but not taking this media too seriously is the only way im coping rn #ikyk ive talked your ears off about my relationship with fucking show and the fandom in the past month but. but #nyxtalks #ofmd #ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd critical #like. the serangela break up Sucks and i could yell about it forever #but in the end i dont think i really went in having faith that marvel wouldnt fuck it up #and thats the difference here for me #the faith i did put in. and the way i see how that i shouldnt have #ill still complain. but i dont have the energy to read them or try and write them in a way thats in any way fact checked or nuanced i just #i need to complain but i need to keep my love for this fucking show i. need to #again. ikyk. so. silly hours. ignoring s2 hours. making up that fictional man hours. i gotta #also please enjoy nyx tries to label an emotion and fails

[wabblebees]

just finished the new fantasy high episode and havent seen anyone talk abt this so i wanted to say i am 100. one HUNDRED PERCENT sure. that fuckin fourdogs was at that party invisibly (the One And Only buttfucker to NOT make an obvious appearance?? rules-follower or no, i dont believe that for a SECOND) and that she stole the piece of the cloud runner that went missing, and that the moment of her swipe was the "something" riz missed on his check -- i also really *hope* it wasn't oisin that made those damn ice mephits (or "muffets" as my beloved drunk adaine christened them lmao) act up like that, but immmmm pretty sure thats exactly what was goin on since it wouldve given his party member advantage/an easier access point :/

#dimension 20 #fantasy high #fhjy spoilers #listen i was oisin to be good & real & nice SO BAD. HOT RIPPED TATTED DRAGONBORN WIZARD ??? PLEASE #but. im also a suspicious-ass bitch lmao #also wait ik they spelled his name without the accent on his character art #but doesnt the name oisin have an accent over one of the i's?? idk jack abt shit so i could be wrong ofc #in any case. i like the concepts behhind the ratfuckers as a party (*except buddy. seeing him made me feel fucking ILL lmao.) but #i neeeeeeed them to get fucking TROUNCED by the bad kids. i NEED it. theyd be so much more tolerable if they got briefly asswhooped #like i think after that they could TOTALLY be friends and work together. before that?? FUCK no lmfao #anyway. i love-hate fishykitty whatserbucket and i need to see her lose #i cant wait for the ratgrinders to meet the unstoppable force that is the bad kids bigass hearts #deciding to team up with local shitheads & therefore turning them into op allies by sheer force of will and love #its happened to ragh its happened to aelwyn it kiiinda happened with kalina (jury's still out but my fingers are crossed!!) #spring break i believe in them!!! #bee speaks #its happening yall. i try to keep my incomprehensible blorboposting to a dull roar but now that im fully caught up on d20 i fear i may start #going full pepe silvia trying to figure this out #i cant binge it all in one go and have it rot thru my brain like slow-eating acid to leak thru in a contained matter #waiting for a new episode every week means i have time to THINK

[opens-up-4-nobody]

The way that the sun hits leaves and clouds. I feel like I could watch the colors change forever. If I could slow down for that long.

#i keep forgetting a have a deck now. i can go outside and sit there #im doing that now. sitting in the corner of a deck full of empty chairs. staring up at a big pine tree where the sun is striking it gold #at the top. i like how thr light hits the needles. if the sky was black it would look like its on fire #theres a tree outside my bedroom window too. in the morning. after the sunrises it catches thr light and refelcts the most perfect shade #of green. the kind of green that flutters translucent like youre looking up from the bottom of a pool. the light the light its all about #the sun. everything everything is about the sun. when i start my project I'll be focused on understanding how organisms catch the light bc #its so incredible and complicated it would make my chest swell to bursting if there wasnt an empty bleeding wound in my gut. a #metaphorical wound of course. i dunno. its just difficult bc right now my mood is inflated by hormones. not even that much i think I'm #just at what shoulf be a normal level of happiness so i can be slow for a minute. but just a minute bc i kno it won't last long #sorry i cant shut the fuck up when im like this but i dunno i just feel like i havr to document these ephemeral moments before they're gone #its just difficult when you kno the world is so full of beautiful things but 95% of the time your eyes are too clouded to see it #everyone tells me i work too much but i feel like im just staring off into space being miserable 60% of the time. ive just done so much #damage over the past few years im coming into a new lab as damaged goods. ive got an albatross around my neck in thr form of data i #collected so self destructively that the idea of having anything to do with its publication makes me hate myself. everytime someone tells #me good job on collecting so so so much data it feels like they're congratulating me for breaking something within myself. like i slit my #wrists and bled out on a lab bench and theyre saying good job and theyre excited for me and i have to grin and bear it and pretend im #excited too. but im not bc ive burned everything inside me to ash. so when im elevated enough to be distracted by the clouds and trees it #feels like healing. like seeing angels. beautiful ephemeral beams of light. i wish i could slow down enough to watch them. but now thr sun #is hitting the horizon and the sky is going gradually dark and i should go inside. bc i have many things to do in the morning. so that's #what ill do. and ill try to get more thsn 6hrs of sleep but its hard when your body is vibrating over with energy #but at least i dont feel tired in the morning. something in my head must be on fire #unrelated #hm i should maybe add a tw to this #tw self injury #but its the kind thst makes u good at ur Job. its the kind ppl reward. so they don't understand when u say its destroying ur life #but im trying to get better. i say as i gear up for an insane semester lol but i do mean it

[boxheadpaint]

new schedule of wake up and take ibuprofen probably

#drawing is easier than not drawing <- most normal man in the world #both my arms have had difficulty and pain these past few weeks. mostly my left for some reason but my right picked up the slack recently #putting any pressure on them like say pushing myself off the floor or plunging a toilet Hurts #and of course like most things its worst when im trying to sleep #i keep twlling myself whenever this happens “oh ill take a few days break from drawing and go easy on them” #unfortunately my most effective and enjoyable method of communication is drawing. #and also its good for me when its not bad for me

[creekfiend]

What would you say your farm goals are rn? And do you still have eventual dog breeding goals?

Rn, getting the downsized herd settled and figuring out splitting the daily workload with my mom and such. We have no breeding plans this season, will probably look into a fainter cross buck next season for hardiness but I doubt I'll keep back many kids. There's a couple we are raising up rn from last season that i might sell to a friend who wants to start her own hobby herd this year.

My long term goals are still hearty and hardy animals who don't need too much medical intervention too often and who can kid easily, have good mothering skills, etc. Next generation I want better parasite resistance. But right now we are just figuring out how daily upkeep husbandry and maintenance is going to work going forward!

For dogs I don't have immediate plans bc all my dogs are spayed. I still co-own Mari, Dandelion, Pixie and Bao, so if any of them are bred I will have some input there. And if Mari is bred I will hopefully be able to spend some time with and help out with puppy raising!!! But, for now, no immediate plans myself :) getting things settled around the house and yard and in my own life/with my health before I think about dipping my toes back into dog breeding as a concept.

I am PROBABLY getting a goldador service prospect next year or the year after, out of a Lab I really like who is a working SD and a sweet golden who his handler thinks is a good match. And if that dog turns out nicely and passes health checks I might breed it. But that's so far in the future it doesn't make sense to make any actual plans around!

#a couple does may kid this winter and we will milk those for sure #i think Poe and Bae may be bred. but Hawthorne and Lovelace are getting a break this season #getting to re-know everyone now that we have less stock and can consolidate them in one big pasture. #a couple sheep are still here because mom essentially wants them as pets #and didnt want them to get sold for meat #so we are also working out a shearing schedule and such but not gojng to breed sheep anymore for now #if i get a better handle on my illness in the years to come i might try again #but rn? cant keep up with husbandry if we have that many. esp with shearing. #its so important to prioritize that imo SO YEAH #also mom and I are thinking about rearranging/overseeding some pastures #anyway! #the lab i want a pup from is Ace who some of you may remember sired the chinook outcross litter #his puppies have all matured really nicely and are similarly bombproof #so im optimistic a pup out of him would have that environmental stability that noodle struggles with :) #pixie is the only dog i co own who is an adult and her testing is almost finished so if she is bred next year Ill let yall know 😊 #she just needs eye exam and some -- god what else... shes got basic genetic and hips and elbows done. i think she needs #a couple more collie specific genetic tests for stuff embark doesnt do

[apollo-zero-one]

Man I can't believe I had the chance to go to a performing arts school up through middle school and I fuckin quit after 6 months just because I got bullied. BRO YOUR HOMEWORK WAS POETRY!! YOU HAD TO PRACTICE DANCING TO COTTON EYE JOE AS YOUR BIG UNIT TEST. GYM CLASS HAD A CIRCUS UNIT!! YOU HAD A WHOLE DAILY CLASS ON IMPROV!!! YOU FOOL!! YOU ABSOLUTE IMBICILE!! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN A YOUTUBER!!! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN ONE OF THOSE TWEENAGERS GETTING LOADED BY MAKING SHITTY YOUTUBE SHORTS IN 2008-14!! But noooOoooOOOoo little miss Noellie (who WANTED TO GO!! who worked SO HARD and sent in an application essay and did an INTERVIEW to get in!!) couldn't handle disruptive classmates or little scuffles and petty grudges and general Attitude of the other students and cried to mommy to put her back in public school. I am EATING MY HAIR over what Could Have Been. I COULD BE SOMEONE'S ANNOYING YOUTUBER!! I could be a DISGRACED DISNEY CHANNEL STAR!! I could be an America's Got Talent winner! A mild to moderately successful comedian! I could be making short films!! But no no no precious thin skinned baby me heard a few new cus words and watched a teacher get heckled and begged to give up The Dream in favor of?? Quiet math tests?? I am such a fucking quitter I quit everything the second it gets too hard I always take the out as soon as it's offered what's my fucking damage.....

#I had SO MUCH POTENTIAL and I SQUANDERED IT!! weak ass third grade PUSSY! Your life could have been SO SICK!! #or you could at least be addicted to cocain or something interesting like that!! Boring ass goody two shoes always just staying home doing #NOTHING bitch make a REAL FRIEND go to a God Damn PARTY live a little instead of just hiding in the closet eating saltine crackers for years #waiting for it to be quiet outside before you ever even toed the line #mentally ill self-isolating motherfucker #you could have shrugged it off you could have GROWN A PAIR and FOUGHT BACK but you just ran and cried for mommy #victim complex little bitch baby always whining and exaggerating and making shit up fucking LIAR I am you and I KNOW what you did and I know #you knew it wasn't the truth and you regretted it the moment it came out of uour mouth but once you'd said it you just swallowed it back and #doubled down incriminating or discrediting others with your lies. For why? Because you didn't like them? You could have ruined someone's #life you wouldn't have hesitated mayhe you did and don't even remember because you cant keep your mouth shut with your pants ablaze #manipulative little shit and to WHAT END? Pity? Sympathy? Attention? Entertainment?? What was even going on in your stupid ugly head? #This is a callout post for my third grade self that possessed demon ass evil nine year old. That kid drowned anthills in olive oil and #poisoned a wild animal once. That kid cut plants just to see if they oozed. That kid modified her whole ass personality on a dime for a boy #she had a crush on. INSTANTLY dropped a LIFELONG CULTURAL ALLEGIANCE (thats what football teams were like back then in our town) because he #said he had the opposite allegiance??? What the fuck? girl had NO integrity none zip zilch. #No empthy either that kid looked at everyone else on earth like they were friggin space aliens and she was the only one with Real feelings. #bitch literally thought like 'I have Feelings they just have Reactions' bitch what the fuckkkkk #that nine year old was fucked the hell up!!! #and for literally NO REASON!! No cause!! Just born fucking evil and weird. jesus fuck. #Evil ass bitch caused her autistic brother months of nightmares and then laughed about it and wrote poetry about how evil he was because he? #was a kid??? Normal sibling rivalry taken way way way too far defamatory ass statements #and this girl had NO CONSEQUENCES because she could lie and manipulate her way out of ANYTHING she had the baby eyes and the helpless charm #and played dumb soooo well . read people like some calculative evil AI scanning their faces for microexpressions and overanalyzing each word #choice like holy shit. its not That Deep. pretentious shit trying to play 5D chess on a checkers board. #Manipulating shit just to see what happens?? zero awareness?? no asking just skipping straight to testing for yourself?? #'What happens if I step on this' it fucking breaks 'what does that taste like?' it's not fucking yours to mess with 'if I hit this person #how will they respond?' they'll be upset use your goddamn judgement you are NINE not TWO do you even care a little about any other person?? #Are you just living in some other reality??? #callout post for the fucking demon child inside of me #im so goddamn problematic I'm so so so deeply mentally disturbed and broken for no reason

[skyllion-uwu]

They should invent a me that feels real and doesn't self sabotage

#sky vents like amogus #im sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo normal (lying) #legit i dont know what im supposed to do with myself. i dont see a future for me but i dont want to die. i just exist #i think about this one sci fi story a lot where the guy finds out everyone in the world is him and he is everyone in the world #reincarnated across timelines and bodies and every single person ever from good to evil has always. been. him. #i wonder if im that guy. why do i treat my current body and my past and future bodies so bad. do i even deserve to since so many of them #have the capacity to hurt themselves across history too. do i even try to break the cycle at this point. #or sometimes its like. im not real but everyone else is. i just inserted myself into this world and one day ill wake up and theyre all gone #if i found out that was true would i even do anything about it? could i get the courage to live knowing that it doesnt matter in the end #because i dont fucking exist. or would i just keep existing as i am now miserable because it doesnt matter in the end im not real #i feel like im gonna cry now. i thought too much #i dont wanna be needy and bothersome but. augh

[ragnars-tooth]

Medieval/fantasy au be upon ye: the gang reconvenes and discusses their next steps

Oh god, so this one requires me to get into what the hell this au is about and uhhhh I don’t… know?? Yet???

I’ve got some broad sweeps down but the details are for the most part hazy rn

(That got long fast whoopsie!!)

SO:

- The Pennykettles are the royal family, Lucy is the heir. David is not strictly related to Liz or Lucy, but he was raised in proximity to the crown and later made the equivalent to a prince in title (basically, he’s not really royalty, he can’t take the crown, and he doesn’t do anything important, but he is the court’s funny little guy and you will apologise to him rn for hurting his feelings!! He acts as a figurehead in the Pennykettles’ place for some festivals, and is generally well liked by the public despite being dumb as rocks.)

- More on David: he was raised by the monks of Avalon (pushing my Arthur & Bernard agenda on this fine evening), one of which Liz eventually married (take a wild guess).

- The royal line carries down the women, Arthur is basically arm candy. He and Liz are very queer-platonic to me. Their role is to act as ‘ambassadors’ between dragons and humankind. It’s mostly symbolic at this point, as dragons are very respected and mostly left to their own devices. Their perches are treated as holy places where offerings are left, and they don’t bother themselves with humans as long as things continue to roll smoothly.

- (To be clear, Arthur is not Lucy’s father. I may well go with canon’s egg shit because it works maddeningly well here. It is also important to me that you know Arthur is still blind. I will hold this man in my disabled arms mwah you are safe here)

- THE PENNYKETTLE DRAGONS? They’re still here baybey, but REAL ALL OF THE TIME. They’re a small species of living dragons – I haven’t worked out the exact origin story here yet, whether Liz still breathed life into them from something non-living, or if they’re just juveniles that will eventually become as big as Gawaine. We shall see, I suppose. I imagine that they act like very needy cats that attach themselves to their human and follow them about. God I wish I had a little dragon guy.

- The royal library is run by Henry Bacon (HE LIVES. FUCK YOU.) and his apprentice, Zanna Martindale. David also used to apprentice here before being adopted by the crown. It took Zanna a while to get over the boy she used to throw books at and make daisy chains for becoming effectively a prince. They are in love <3 (no Alexa yet, sorry (unless…. Hm, I will get back to you on this…) bc I see David and Zanna being Firestar ages, and Lucy being older than usual at around 16/17)

- Zanna has a vaguely middle-class upbringing (as far as the concept exists), with a doctor/dentist father and an older sister.  (Ngl. Forgot zanna had a real dentist dad and just made henry her father originally. And now to fix it I’m considering marrying them. It would be funny literally only to me. But it Would be funny. Local doctor and librarian have a weird unacknowledged little gay thing going on. Good for them <3)

- I don’t know how but Melanie Cartwright is in there somewhere and she and Lucy are dating. I am right. You will understand the kettlewright agenda by the time im through with you.  

- Lucy is in her teenage angst era but at least this time it’s just sort of silly instead of a result of horrific trauma. She’s just smothered by loving parents and thinks she could totally make it as an independent adult with no survival skills. She is wrong!

- (Lucy voice: God I hate my parents, they keep saying they love me every twelve seconds 🙄 I just want to do normal things like commit property damage and travel cross-country with nothing but a bag of cheese and scare old man Bacon. Instead all I can do is count my stacks of money and play fetch with my fire-breathing cat. This fucking blows!! They never let me do anything fun :/)

- Tam is a wannabe poet who becomes a knight. On his first day after a big promotion he promptly loses the crown’s only princess and decides that the best course of action is to fake his death and live in the forest. I can’t say I blame him.

- During Tam’s self-imposed exile he comes across is stalked by Bella (the catgirl). He finds her very annoying and is not at all her father now. He also hates cats and would never ever pet one and let it fall asleep in his lap. He is a man of principles and sticks to his finely tuned moral compass. By lying. And running away.

- Regarding Lucy’s disappearance – it was her way of getting away for a bit for fun only child shenanigans, but ultimately ends in her (crown princess, very recognisable, her face is on like. Everything.) getting kidnapped for real.

- Unbeknownst to Tam, David had also disappeared during official business, and Zanna is nowhere to be found. The crown is left in a precarious place, and it soon appears to be under real threat.

- Spoilers: Voss is about, and there is a lot he’s willing to take.

- On lighter notes: Gwilanna and the Chamberlain boys are absolutely still in this because I am so fucking predictable. Tootega come here I can treat you so much better mwah mwah. Well… maybe Gwilanna isn’t a lighter note. But she is there! This will have no consequences on anyone or anything, I’m sure! :3

PLEASE DEAR GOD ASK ME QUESTIONS IF YOU HAVE THEM. I swing violently between wanting to give every single plot detail rn and wanting to go write the actual fic so things can be revealed ✨mysteriously✨

#the last dragon chronicles #tldc #david rain #zanna martindale #lucy pennykettle #tam farrell #bella tldc #i swear her surname came up but i cant find it rn rip #ragnar art #fantasy au #ig?? idk i need a tag for this stuff so i dont flood the main tag all the time #<-- also like generally im gonna try to keep sketches out of the main tag i think #unless its sm i spent a long time on (like this) im gonna keep it quiet bc im just hyperaware theres not a lot of us and i want it to be #easy to ignore my self indulgent stuff lol #i mean.... ALL my tldc stuff is self indulgent but you get what i mean #had to draft this post in my word docs and now i have a 4k essay on tam and how stupid david's 'move' to uni was #(it is not in a postable state) #realising that if i want analysis of the books in this fandom i gotta write them myself /j #if the formatting breaks after i had to readd the images like six times ill eat my shoe #if ur wondering why im suddenly active too its bc i have less than a week to finish an essay i have nothing written for <3 #so um... slay! #ok i gotta just shut up and post at some point dont i #matt posts: 40 colour variants that are barely different and tags that are 9 miles long

[shadeswift99]

Today on really stupid things to be happy about:

The fact that when I stopped being able to read or write four months ago my Works and Bookmarks just happened to be perfectly even

#it makes sense in a way because i had started trying to keep them even as a half joke ages ago #but still I'm so weirdly happy to have left it like that dhfhfhd #not like its easy to not be able to do the things i love (it's been hell actually) but it would be so much harder if I'd left it uneven >:[ #....yeah. I don't think I've ever fully explained on here so #hi I'm Shade :) i used to write things and then i went on a month long break for school stress and THEN a many month long break #unplanned because apparently chronic illness. so. so sorry to the people who were waiting for that Red Thread update in may #or yknow literally anything else other than semiconscious reblogs and radio silence #don't worry I am far from 100% still but i have meds and they're helping a lot #and i AM going to work my way back up to writing. I am. slowly #but it's probably going to be very slowly and low effort for a while because i still don't know if i can handle full time uni in the fall #but i have been able to read again! physical symptoms are still kinda eeh some days but the brain fog most times is gone #huge win #and at least my works and bookmarks are even :] #i don't usually put personal stuff here and honestly i don't even know if there's still anybody around who remembers me more active but #feels good to not be too hopeless to open ao3 again. #that's about as much shade ramble as you'll have to put up with today have a great evening everyone 💙 #ah fuck i forgot #tw medical

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#some reflections on 2022 as a year bc im bored and tired mostly prob bc my hormones r fucked up #ill b real. it was not a great one. not the worst i guess. that award goes to 2016 when i was a junior in undergrad and i was spiraling #and i did kno y it was happening so it was scary. now at least i kno why mostly but i think ive experienced the most soul rattling cosmic #despair in this year just bc i pushed and pushed to the point of destruction and i mean i have a history of doing that but i never wanted #to like quit before like as in fucking quit my job and just fucking break things. its weird. and ive got that panic feeling now #its the same one i get when ive been in therapy for a while and nothings helping. and i keep thinking: help me help me someone make this #stop bc i dont want to b like this anymore and i dont kno what to do. bc i was hoping a break would heal me and that would b enough but #the fears been creaping in the past few days bc deadlines and projects snd i havent done anything i need to and i still just want to give #up. ugh. im probably just feeling melodramatic bc i overextended socially yesterday. but idk what to do. hope for a better year i guess #at least i kno i wont b living where i am in 8 to 10 months. so change is coming but things r still up in the air #and i mean 2023 wont b off to a great start bc i have to go to lunch with my grandparents and i dont want to #why? bc i think theyre bad ppl. and itll just b me. and i dont kno for how long ill b there. #my last day home and i have to spend time with them. i shoulf b working on a manuscript. i should b doing that now #but instead im laying here trying not to cry. i just wanna go to sleep. less than 48hrs and ill b back to the desert #feeling a little better maybe but idk all is not well #so yea hopefully 2023 will b a bit better #unrelated

[scoreplings]

cringe fail moment i got a lil nostalgic over my ex tonight. but then i remembered he was pathetic. godbless

#i was like auau… i miss him he was probably my soulmate 💔 im alone forever now (<- dumbass. u have a bf and many friends) #‘why did i ever break up with him :((‘ #thought for about five minutes about the reasons i broke up with him and was no longer nostalgic #lmfao. remembering the time he had be come to his house then hid in the bathroom and scream-sang mitski for an HOUR while i just kinda. #sat there #remembering the time he had me walk forty minutes to his house then didnt answer the door and let me sit on the porch for about a half an #hour before i gave up and left #none of these were even reasons we broke up 😭 #GOD… remembering that there was honest to god MOLD in his room at all times #like he would leave food sitting around until it molded and just. keep it there. #the amount of time i spent trying to clean his room for him. insaneee #plssss he used to tell me he was a psychopath and incapable of caring for people #so it really wasnt his fault when he treated people bad 😭😭 bro that isnt how it works #you are still choosing to be a shithead #so very not over him yet if you couldnt tell. despite the cringe fail patheticness of him he was unfortunately very hot and charismatic when #he wasnt being a man baby #and we were together for yearsss. so. it’ll be a lil while longer before i stop moping #but thats so funny. cringe of me to care about him still #even his mf boyfriend doesnt like him 😭😭 they used to complain about each other to me DAILY #idk why they’re together but im assuming he’s pulling the same ‘if im single ill kill myself 🥺’ thing on them he pulled on me #shitty of me to assume that but i make 0 good assumptions of this mf

[unkownknowledge]

Hello biteable human how are u today i wont bite u nope

(aka im trying to send an ask like manlybadassheros video titles xD)

Never heard of that so this is extra funny lol

Today is good! Except I'm regretting a decision I made in the game I'm playing.

Luckily it can be fixed and I'm realizing now the way to fix it causes even MORE drama in the next game than it I just killed the character causing the issue, which is exactly what I wanted!

Thank you for indirectly making me realize how to optimize suffering :D

#to explain: i romanced a character with the intent to kill them #they're the only character that can't be killed on the mission where characters can die #so instead ill break up with them in the 3rd game and headcanon it as my character realizing he was just trying to fill the emotional hole #left by his ex. but now that he had her back he realizes it would be cruel to keep up a relationship of lies #only with this character they'll die because of that choice! #I LOVE IT WHEN MY MIND GETS FUCKY WUCKIED UP!

[lovecrazedpup]

i dont want to sleep

#im like a toddler LMAO throwing things around my room bc im so fucking angry and upset #(im throwing a plushie into my bed but still) #i genuinely think i want to breakup like idk this isnt even a joke or looking for reassurance anymore #like maybe im weird for thinking abt a long term relationship and marriage at 18 but .... #we arent ? very compatible ? long term ? #its unfair to him if i keep this going considering hes a bit older than me yk #nvm im writing this out and im crying maybe i DONT want to break up #im tired of overthinking and obsessing over everything . im tired of seeing him as better than me and perfect . i want to be equals #i just want to be normal and to be in a normal relationship where we do normal things #i just want support i want love i want literally ANYONE to tell me that im ok and that im loveable #i hate our stupid time difference and his stupid job i wish i was like this earlier on in the day it is AWFUL being alone #my head hurts and my throat hurts and i hurt #i want to scream and cut and stab someone #i fucking hate her #so much #shes a fucking bitch i wish i could kill her . like genuinely . i want to pull out her teeth lmao if she didnt exist id be happier #GOD i want to stop comparing myself to her and thinking abt them together but ill always be a second experience and its depressing #'youll be my first for anal' yeah great bc thats exactly what i want to fucking hear #not doing much to stop the 'you only want me for sex' thoughts but YEP GREAT THANKS #me : pouring my heart out and trying to say what im thinking !! him : haha yeah sex ! oh also have some inspirational quotes #god just kill me . get me out . i dont want to be here . i dont want to think abt him. i dont want to talk abt him . #i wish we never fucking met ! i wish i never picked up that stupid game #i dont want to lose you though #i hate how attached to him i am . why did you start talking to me again . #shouldve fucking forgotten me while youre fucking your friends and getting high up north island #cant say shit to him though bc itll be the end and ill probably kill myself bc i unfortunately live for him #its over when we meet anyways lol so i got ? 2 months ? 3 months ? of happiness before its gone #i think im gonna do smth bad but i doubt he would care at all . would probably be happy if i die or ghost him . #gives him an excuse to talk to his friends again lol . its so over for me #jamie.txt