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nemeseos-noctua · 3 years

Note

Hey darlings! Can I request Xiao, Albedo and Diluc separately carrying reader around for a day because of a bet they lost? Love yall! <3

𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: diluc, albedo, xiao (separate) x gn!reader

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: not proofread

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒: THIS TOOK SO LONG I’M SO SORRY ANON (i was busy and didnt feel like writing anything for like a month ☹ but im back and ill try and write more, esp since my school year ends in like a month and a half)

oh you could see so much

Diluc was so tall.... it was great

“is this what height feels like?”

despite you enjoying every second of it, the pyro typhoon was slowly suffering

HIS REPUTATION !! WHAT HAPPENS TO HIS REPUTATION ???

the answer is nothing (except that Donna is jealous and pissed)

“How much longer are we going to have to do this for?”

“The whole day, obviously! That was the bet!” you cheered, clearly enjoying where you were currently. His suffering for your enjoyment.

The red-haired man sighed and continued walking around, eventually drifting over to the giant tree in the middle of Windrise.

He stops next to the base of the oak tree, slightly lowering himself down. You weren’t exactly surprised that he could carry your weight, since he wields a giant claymore as a weapon, but you couldn’t feel not just the tiniest bit bad for him.

you guys were playing a guessing game as Diluc took a shift at Angel’s Share last night

“how much is venti gonna drink tonight”

you won, obviously

that damn bard drank at least 50,000 mora’s worth in dandelion wine

HE DOESNT EVEN PAY FOR IT IN MORA

and thats how you lose money in a business, children

You lowered yourself off of the man’s back, assuming that’s what he wanted.

“Hey, sorry about the bet...” you trail off, taking a seat on the grass and letting the wind graze your face.

“It’s fine. A bet is a bet.”

“Yeah but--” you stopped. There was absolutely no way that you would win this debate.

The pyro user looked at you after a few seconds of silence. You usually talked a lot more than this and strongly believed in sharing your thoughts, so what was stopping you now?

“You know what? Let’s just go to the winery and take a walk there together.” You begrudgingly got up from your spot from the cool grass and started to walk in the direction of the winery.

There were a few hurried steps coming from behind you, assumingly from Diluc, but you paid no mind to him. He probably just didn’t wanna leave you behind--

“Woah-- hey! Diluc, wh--”

“A bet is a bet.”

you found yourself on his shoulders this time

dude really ran up and lifted you onto his shoulders

like dipped under you

mans said “woOOP”

you would kill him but hes too hot for that 😉

You sighed.

A bet is a bet.

you were taller than the alchemist

not by much, but it was enough that it was wacky as hell

(i hc that Albedo isn’t super strong so he’s struggling even tho he’s a sword user-- tbh i thought that he was a catalyst at first lmao)

it’s so funny because Albedo is literally holding you like a baby being burped while doing some sort of experiment

“Stop kicking before I spill something on the both of us, (Y/N).”

“No.”

The blond sighed and continued to work on some kind of potion.

It was comforting to be in someone’s embrace again. How long’s it been? Years, maybe...

And soon enough, you fell asleep while the scholar cradled you in his arms.

i can assure you that he was FREAKING OUT

he was scared that he would wake you up if he put you down on the bed that the he occasionally would sleep on (he survives on caffeine)

but he needed to do this experiment

like... NEEDED to

“../N)..? (Y/N), wake up.” You whined in response, not really processing anything that was coming out of Albedo’s mouth. “You won’t be able to sleep later tonight if you continue with your nap.”

“..what time is it..?” you let out a large yawn and covered your mouth. Since you had just woken up, your brain had refused to function properly. And with that, it took you a while to realize that you were laying on a bed.

Albedo was still working on something (you weren’t sure what) but stopped to wake you up.

he’s cute

but he almost blew up

impressive how you didn’t wake up

“Only around sunset. Come, I’ll make dinner.”

the least i could say is that Xiao was not pleased.

HE WANTED TO COMPLAIN SO MUCH

but he didn’t wanna hurt your feelings 🥺

karmic debt was nothing compared to you feeling sad /j

karmic debt is horrible :( poor xiao

also being in crowded places was not fun for him

LANTERN RITE !! he did think that the xiao lanterns were cute

“Ooh, ooh, look! It’s a food stand,” you excited pointed out from on the yaksha’s back, “wanna get something? There might be almond tofu!”

“Only if there’s--”

“--almond tofu. Yeah, yeah, I know. It’s the only thing you can stomach. Mr. Dream Eater...”

That must’ve struck a chord in him. The “young” man kissed his teeth, showing a hostile attitude that he had never done to you.

“Just because I agreed to let you win doesn’t mean that I won’t go back on it.”

secretly he didn’t

he really enjoyed your company and hates everyone else

funny because he desires company and love but WHATEVER !

xiao loves you in some type of way

he adores you and all of your stupidity

and sometimes you mess up and it’s fine

it’s just a “mortal thing”

(he also makes mistakes but shh)

You remained silent until the two of you reached the food stand, filled with savoury smells and delicious aromatics. Though there was no almond tofu.

“You wanna try somewhere else? I don’t mind going to find a different spot.”

Xiao grumbled. Not like you were the one walking and exerting energy to get from one place to another.

“Fine.”

“Look... I promise this is gonna be the last place. If we don’t find any, we can go back to Wangshu Inn and ask Verr Goldet for some,” you reasoned.

The adeptus remained silent, but didn’t show any signs of displeasure. You took it as a yes.

“Wanmin restaurant has some, I think! It’s the best of the best in Liyue too.”

“This better be worth it.”

“Don’t worry, it will! I’ll even pay for it and everything!” He sighed, making his way toward the restaurant. Honestly, you didn’t wanna even get anything to eat. For the most part, it was just spoiling Xiao for once since he never went anywhere and only ate the almond tofu Verr Goldet made at the Inn.

I hope that you can be happy, at least for today.

#genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin #genshin impact #genshin scenarios #genshin imagines #genshin headcanons #xiao x reader #genshin impact scenarios #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact headcanons #albedo x reader #diluc x reader #genshin xiao #genshin albedo #genshin diluc #ririsann

815 notes · View notes

tastyykpop · 3 years

Note

nct dating headcannons!

I only did 127 because there's so many but ill do the others if anyone requests it :)

ɴᴄᴛ ʙғ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴ

Taeil

Mr. Moon Taeil is the definition of a cuddly boyfriend

Hes always holding your hand or kissing your cheek

Definitely gets shy when the members are around but in public youre all his

Hes super sincere about anything too but also knows how to joke around

I mean have you seen him with nct

Hes funny❗❗

Like he's gonna make you laugh no matter what

And those deep convos yall would have at night while cuddling>>>

"What if we were put on earth by aliens as an experiment to see if we would live and everytime we see ufos its just our cousins checking up on us"

Eyes wide open, "bro"

Taeils either the big or small spoon too

There's no in between

Also the biggest baby when yall are chilling

"I call small spoon!"

"But you were the small spoon last night"

"K and what about it"

10/10 would complain if you didn't want to sit with him and watch a movie or show

Would probably guilt trip you by saying you never watch something with him

Hes a sweet manipulator...

But he could easily replace you with one of the members

Like sicheng

Taeil will always ask if you've eaten

If you haven't eaten he gets big sad

Don't make him sad

Plus hes always checking on your health

And he'll know if your lying if you say you're doing fine when you're not

Also don't lie in general cuz he doesn't like that

That would make him trust you a bit less and he definitely wants trust in the relationship

Trust is a huge key or hes out

Johnny

This man 🥲

Boyfriend Material™

So gentle and loving

Loves making you feel special and will hype the shit out of you when you don't feel confident doing something

Will always make sure you're doing okay

Johnny puts in so much effort to make this relationship work and expects you to put the same amount of effort into it too

Like taeil, hes really big on trust

Add honesty to that list

Plus he expects you to be mature when needed

If you're the type of person who depends on someone else for everything and I'm mean everything he will actually leave

Hes not your babysitter❤

But he will take care of you to some extent

Like basic things for instance

He'll make you food if you're sick, get you water if your dehydrated, will get your feminine products when you need it

Very sweet😌

Okay and he spoils you but wbk

"Why are you getting me so much things?"

"Because I love you."

"But why did you get me a kitten costume???"

He has some kinks to work out 😐

Johnny will go to shop after shop even if you say you don't want something (you do but you just don't want him to pay) he'll get it without batting an eye

"Youve been staring at these shoes for 5 minutes imma buy them for you"

"Huh? No! I-"

"Too late"

will take you out to dinner all the time just to be romantic

Hes actually really good at romantic stuff

I say Johnny you say whipped

Johnny👀

Whipped😫

His free time is always you time

So don't bother saying your busy cuz now hes busy with you

"Johnny i got a test coming up can you come later? I need to study

"Thats cute im coming over to help"

Taeyong

Judging taeyong on his looks, some say he would be cold to his girlfriend

Like a tsundere

But the man is quite the opposite

Though he can be stern if need be

He has 22 children what do you expect

Will literally treat you like his members and always taking care of you

But there will be times when you have to take care of him because hes so tired from work

He turns into a baby when he's tired or lazy too

So wrap him in a burrito blanket and hes all set for the day

Makes weird noises but thats normal

You're just watching tv and hes just making some old video game sounds with his mouth

No one questions it

If he didnt make sounds you'd probably question it

Talks in pout if he doesn't get his way with you

"Why don't you wanna play games with me~"

"Bruh I'm tired"

Or just gives you those big puppy eyes without even trying

Complete other person when you're not listening

He just kinda stares at you all intimidating like until you listen

Taeyong won't do anything too bad if you kept ignoring him, but you don't know that

Omg bro he'd literally bring you on vlive with him to chat

Even if the company is like '???Shes not an idol???'

But its taeyong so SM doesn't care🧍‍♂️

"We have special guest again! Its y/n-ah!!"

You'd be just chilling on his bed giving him a wtf look until you realize there's a camera and smile

"Shes cute. Isn't she cute guys?"

Don't try to escape the vlive, he'll just get up and sit you on his lap

Makes everyone watching jelly🥲

Bro he would make fun of you the same way he makes fun of doyoung

you'd be sitting with doyoung or sumn and taeyong just comes up to the both of you and decides

'Its time to end these two'

You and doyoung are just like 'tf did we do'

Somehow some other members are making fun of yall

Of course they aren't mean

Its all fun and games and gives you a good laugh after

Doyoung

Hes literally a mom

But its ok

You love it

Sometimes

He also nags a lot

And if you don't listen he gets mad

You wouldn't tell him this but you find it funny

And cute🤐

"Youre almost as bad as dream"

"what are u talking about im an angel"

"Kay then put the knife down we kinda need haechan to live"

Hes beaten you with a pillow once

In front of taeyong

Taeyong was watching like 👁👄👁

I dont think he cares much for pda tbh

But he doesn't hate it

He'll hug you a lot

And doyoung will probably kiss you here and there

But thats depending on his mood

If he's tired he'd probably just hold you in his arms

Either way he still makes you smile even with the smallest of touches

When you guys go out in public doyoung always holds your hand

I mean always

Remember when I said he doesn't seem like the type to be into pda

I lied

Doyoung wants everyone to know youre his

He won't kiss you but he will pull you into random hugs and hold your hand like he's gonna lose you any second

Doyoung also can't go anywhere without dressing his best

Like even if he's just practicing he's gotta look cute

And he always does because he's fucking kim doyoung

Doyoung also has a habit to make up names for you

Like one day he'll call you babe/baby

The next day could be angel or princess

Then there's you who just calls him bunny because he hates (loves) it

Expect some random gifts from him

Cuz like Johnny, he likes to spoil you

he just loves the smile thats plastered on your face

Pinches your cheeks evey time you smile too

When you guys are just chilling in the dorms you are always doing something to make doyoung get "angry"

"Angry" doyoung is a fun doyoung

Says you and taeyong 🤭

Literally will chase you around the dorm until he gets you and "scolds you"

Hell also scold taeyong

Sometimes you prank him with the other members

*cough*haechan*cough*

But doyoung knows youre just being playful

So he kinda laughs at you

Yuta

Hes a devil

Wbk

He can go from calling you the cutest lil thang to saying the most inappropriate stuff

"U have such a pretty mouth"

"no stop"

"how about u use it on my-"

"OUT DEMON"

Besides that he's actually very nice

Although he doesn't really show his affection like how most couples would

At first hes kinda like a "cold boyfriend" but not?

Gives off a tsundere kinda vibe

He lives for pda

Especially if you initiate it

His favorite is kissing your neck

Not in a sexual way or trying to give you hickeys tho

He just comes over and kisses it

Probably has a neck kink 😳

Same 😌

When you guys are out in public his arm is always around your waist or shoulders

He gets easily jealous when you give anyone any attention

Especially if you have a pet

He will be pouty for God knows how long until you notice

"I'll make it up to you"

"ok then prove it *pats his lap*"

"...I can and will replace you with this animal"

Will not let a dude flirt with you

If he sees a dude flirt with you he just gives them ㄒ卄乇ㄥㄖㄖҜ

Lowkey hot

But sometimes gives you that look if u aren't listening to him

Its an advantage

Freaks you out tho

When your sitting on the couch minding your own damn business yuta always pulls you onto his lap or sits you between his legs

He really likes to be close to you

So when you guys are sitting he keeps his head on your shoulder and his arms wrapped around you gently rocking you both

Omg im making myself feel single

If you are sad yuta will always be the first person you lean on

Even if its not serious

"Who do I need to fuck up?"

"Im literally just on my period..."

The members sometimes tease him because they'd never seen him so in love

He looks at you like ur his everything

Because you are

He'll tell you that too

If you say something bad about urself he gives you a whole ass lecture about how u should love yourself the way he loves you

He'd be talking for 25 minutes but you stopped listening 30 minutes ago

Literally scolds you for not listening

Loves how well you get along with the members

But also hates how well you get along with specific members because of how similar you are with them

What I'm trying to say is that you are a bit too similar to mark🚶‍♂️

Jaehyun

Frat boy boyfriend

Lowkey wants to fuck everyday

Idk he gives off that vibe

But jaehyuns just chill half the time

Hes like an American boyfriend like bitch you're Korean 👁👄👁

Hes super cuddly and warm

Thats weird wait

Like when you're cold just snuggle into him because body heat <3

Always loosely has his arms around your waist when just laying down

Whole different story if you're sitting on his lap and just standing around

Back hugs😫😫

Dead ass the first thing he does if he sees you is give you a back hug

It works for a lot of things

Surprise? Back hug

You're cooking? Back hug

Horny? Back hug

Solves his life problems basically

Hes a freak omg

Very flirtatious too

Hes just that bitch

Either he makes you blush or roll your eyes

"Y/n you're ass is fat"

Def an ass guy😑

Hes the type of guy to put his hands in your jeans back pocket

Wait no im feeling jaehyun too much rn

BUT MY POINT STILL STANDS

Or when yall hug his hand doesn't rest on your back but your ass

If you're wearing some shorts or something that makes your but pop

Hes gonna smack it and pretend like nothing happened

Yo someone pls save me im in my jae feels

Nah I've been talking about his ass kink for too long

Ummmm

Okay for real though jaes actually really nice and kind of careless when it comes to you

Fuck everyone else, if you've fallen and scraped your knee hes gonna be that soccer mom and rip a band aid out of nowhere

But if one of his members scraped their knee he'd just look the other way and smile like nothing happened

Earlier I said he was chill but hes also loud too

You walk into the dorms and the first thing you hear is "Y/N!!" Wyd?

You swear he doesn't realize how loud he is half the time because of that deep voice

This bitch always makes sure youre healthy and tries to take you to the gym with him

It dont work cuz this bitch just stares at your ass

Nah I need to do the next member

Jungwoo

hes literally the cutest especially around you

When he greets you its basically a whole ass bear hug

Whole lots a kissing

Literally doesn't care where you guys are

He will kiss you anywhere

Loves to kiss your forehead because he doesn't have to bend down as much🤭

doesnt care if the members are there

Nobody ever questions it either

"youre my baby right?"

"jungwoo-"

"riGhT?"

"Yes...."

He does aegyo if he doesn't get his way

It works every time don't lie

Will probably sit on your lap for some reason

Hes not light

But if you can do it so can he

you guys never get into fights

Even if you do its never anything serious

"you fucking pushed me so u could win"

"false I accidentally bumped my arm into urs"

"whats accidental is the murder im going to commit"

"what?"

"What?"

Smh young love

Going shopping with jungwoo is like shopping with a kid

Will beg for any food he lays his eyes on

"Omg can we get cookies?🥺"

"only if your paying"

“*gently places cookie dough back* lmao cookies? Never heard of her"

No matter how tired the boy is he will always find time for you

Hell take you too your favorite restaurants and even if you insist on paying he wont let you

If you don't marry him I will

When you guys are walking in public he will always be holding your hand

Says its because he doesn't want you to get lost

But you know damn well its actually him who doesn't want to get lost😳

Jk you just know he wants to be close to you

If you make any suggestive joke he always knows how to counterpart it

Leaving you speechless like the members

When you guys are going to bed he has his arms wrapped around your waist

first thing jungwoo does before sleeping is giving you a kiss

Doesn't care if your asleep or awake

Then a quiet 𝐼 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢

Mark

i dont even know how to explain this relationship bruh

like its mark lee its gonna be a weird time

ok so marks actually hella nice

kinda bro or dude zones you but you do it back

theres a bunch of yo’s too

as someone who says yo a lot im happy i can relate to him

“yo youre doing that wrong though”

“dude im literally reading the directions, it said 3 cups of water”

“bro it says 3/4 oh my god”

yall cant cook

taeyong wont even allow even you to help him cook

anyway marks special

but seriously marks actually a very gentle person with you

like legit is super nice to you even if you sometimes piss him off

marks probablys only been mad at you once then was like ‘its okay’

go to his practices cuz he loves that shit

he really likes when you are social with the members too

cuz then you guys are all friends and he can just bring you to places with them :D

this kid will literally not to pda in front of any member so you have to basically force him to just hug you

johnnys always making fun of you two and mark panics everytime while youre just like ‘yeah what about it’

compliment mark and hes blushing and squealing like an anime girl

inch resting concept

“mark you look cute today”

“o-oh um..yeah thanks”

and this man can take compliments but with you its a whole new story

aight lemme get serious

marks mad sensitive

so dont actually purposely make him mad, jealous, or upset

it would crush him

and he doesnt want someone like that in a relationship

cuz if he doesnt purposely do it to you, dont do it to him

take notes

Haechan

hes a brat bye

would actually fight you just to get his way

makes fun of you on a regular

thinks hes cute

hes not wrong

but actually he knows how to act mature when he needs to

like if youre genuinly getting upset with him, he will straighten up and quicky apologize, even give you a phat kiss and hug

might take you to get ice cream after if he really upset you

he can be nice

nah jk hes very nice and is a really energetic boyfriend

haechan always wants to do something with you liek go to the amusement park, go out to eat, or go shopping

sometimes makes everything seem like a hassle to leave and go somewhere with you cuz hes either lazy or playing video games

“cant you just go by yourself?”

“but what if i get lost”

“the ice cream place is literally five miles away”

“actually its seven so im gonna get lost”

hed groan the whole time just to be annoying but you dont care cuz you got your ice cream

if you go to any concert or practice, haechan always has to make things more sexy than they should be

like ‘fool’ became hella sexual and for what

its probably one of his favorites to make you blush

he loves your reactions

keeps him alive

hyucks always got something to say even at the most awful times

youre literally choking on water and he goes “ill give you something to choke on later”

and you have to cancel your dying session to smack his head

my guy has no filter

and he wont even hide that around the members

theres always that smirk on his cute ass face if he succeeds too

i have the sudden urge to fight him

466 notes · View notes

heyitsyn · 4 years

Text

Manager!Seijoh Part 3

a/n: yall i love seijoh so much like theyre my favorite school and my favorite boys and i know their names by heart and im just so SOFT for them !!!!!

also: yall will find out what other fandom ill be writing for in the future in this one

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

combined two anon requests:

- Could we get the boys reacting to finding out the seijoh manager is quite popular to both genders?? Maybe they over hear a confession?

- Why do I feel like half of the team would be all pouty when word comes around that a guy confessed to manager, the others would probably be annoyed/irritated. Oikawa being all bratty cause no matter what he tried,she never showed ant interest when he flirts. But now this boy comes alone ... (but like you said manager is too focused in school and the team)

MY HEART WAS RIPPED OUT OF MY CHEST AND THROWN INTO A BLENDER WHEN I SAW THIS PART OR JUST WHEN SEIJOH LOST IN GENERAL BC MY BABIES WORKED SO HARD AAAAAAA

oof girl the world is ending

so basically,,,,,

the entire just magically knew about what happened earlier and yahaba’s theory of team telepathy really does work bc not even a minute after it happened, they all spammed you messages and next thing you knew, oikawa was naruto-ing down from the 3rd floor to your class in the first floor

tbh, they shouldve seen this coming yanno?

you were ridiculously pretty and you carried yourself w such elegance and grace that it just seemed to hypnotize everyone into stopping what they were doing and watched you in awe doing the most mundane things like walking or sitting

lmao couldnt be me

your confessions usually happened over letters bc either tol boys kunimi or kindaichi are usually around you at all times so theyre too scared to do anything

hence why your locker was always filled with envelopes yet no upfront public confessions

it ranged from upperclassmen and upperclasswomen who expressed their interest in you and wanted to date you and get to know you better

but tf you dont even know them and you werent about to date a whole stranger

this made the boys a little peeved because you were popular with both the boys and the gals so they were constantly on edge on who was talking to you

it was like having an oikawa 2.0 but not indulging them and pretending theyre not even there

like when you walk to class and sit down, they would flock over and offer you drinks and snacks but you either turned them down or just flat-out ignored them

maybe this was what fueled others on more

your reserved attitude and your refusals made it look like you were playing hard to get and it was almost like a game on who could win the heart of the princess of seijoh

this was proven really difficult because not only do they have your dismissals, you also had guard dogs at every corner and would bite their head off at the slight indication of an interaction

however,,,,

today,,,

this morning,,,,

at 7:53 AM,,,,

they saw you walking down the hallway with a purple-haired boy holding your bag and you giggling at what he was saying

um EXCUSE ME MAAM WHAT

EVERYONE HAS BEEN TRYING TO GAIN YOUR AFFECTIONS FOR MONTHS YET YOU ARE HERE INTERACTING WITH A MALE WHO NO ONE EVEN KNOWS

ESPECIALLY SINCE HE WAS A MALE WHO WAS STANDING RIGHT THERE RIGHT NEXT TO YOU AND HE WASNT A MEMBER OF THE TEAM

!!!!!

and ofc, the boys would immediately know even though theyre spread all over the school

it was kyoken who saw you as he was leaning against your locker and his eyes narrowed before he secretly took a picture and sent it to yahaba, asking if there was a new guy who entered the team while he was away

when he replied with a panicked, ‘NO WHO IS THAT’

kyoken was already advancing to you

yahaba-san immediately sent the picture to the team group chat, that excluded you rood, and oikawa wasted no time and even pushed some fangirls so he could go to you

‘-and she destroyed my sheets’

you laughed at the story and hitoshi stared at you with awe in his eyes

how can someone laugh so beautifully?

like a snort should be considered ugly and gross but it was like cute little squeaks from you and he thought you were like a fairy

‘oh god, i wasnt-’

you were cut off with a hand that held your arm

you came face to face with the glaring face of one of your boys and you immediately turned to him in concern, immediately grasping an arm with the other hand on his cheek to look for any cuts

he rarely comes to you on a normal basis so you thought something was wrong

‘whats wrong, kyo-san? did you get into a fight? do you need me to patch you up?’

he didnt care what you were saying, instead heatedly glaring at this new guy, and grunted a response to agreeing with you going to the nurse

just anywhere to get you away from this,,,, stranger

‘toshi i have to-’

then you were cut off again

‘YYYYY/NNNNNNN-CHHHHHAAAANNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!’

‘OI SHITTYKAWA!’

‘OIKAWA-SAN!’

‘OIKAWA!’

‘CAPTAIN!’

from behind you, 5 tol looming figures were running towards you and next thing you knew, you were in the arms of your captain

‘oikawa-san! what are you doing?!’

oikawa held you tightly against his chest and had his arms tightly around your form to prevent you from being taken away

most of the volleyball team were now circling you and pointedly glaring at the poor boy who was so confused that he wasnt bothered by the death glares

‘oh, its you’

kunimi grumbled

‘kunimi, whats happening?’

hitoshi questioned

you fought away from the hold of oikawa and pushed mattsukawa and hanamaki to stand in front of shinsou hitoshi

‘so sorry about this, toshi. i’ll help you with your room later and ill text you when practice is finished, okay?’

you sheepishly smiled and he nodded, his own smile reassuring you

‘yep. ill see you later then’

‘bye’

you softly said and he turned to walk away

but as soon as he was out of sight, you turned around with a grim looking expression and your hands on your hips, a hard look in your eyes

‘boys, what was that?’

you gritted out

‘y/n-chan! don’t you see?! he was going to take you away! he was an intrude-OW!’

he yelped when you reached up and grabbed his ear before grabbing the other closest who was iwaizumi

they both whined and complained about the ear and slapped your hand but you didnt let up

‘he is a friend, oikawa-san. you have no right on who i can be friends and who i can hang out with because i still have a life outside the team!’

you scolded and the others hung their heads low like puppies

‘sorry, y/n-chan’

oikawa mumbled and iwaizumi also mumbled his apology so you let go of them, dusting off your hands

‘and the rest of you, hold back your captain and dont intimidate him like that!’

‘sorry’

you sighed but ruffled their hair before turning to go to class

‘now, be good boys and dont bother others like this again’

‘yes’

they chorused and you nodded, satisfied

‘ill hold you to it!’

you shouted as you walked down the hallway

when you turned a corner, oikawa grabbed kunimi by the arms

‘you know him, dont you? who is he? what class? address? mother’s name? father’s name? age-’

‘oi stop it, shittykawa’

but despite that, iwaizumi looked at the younger, expecting answers as well

kunimi sighed

‘thats shinsou hitoshi from class 1-3. we have gym together’

and ‘we’ was kunimi and you since you were both in the same class so you constantly saw this shinsou boy?

nuh uh, dont think so, francisco

from the looks of it, you were still single and there was a pining from shinso’s part, maybe yours they dont know

and they were going to do everything in their power to keep you away from him

this was excused to them as protecting their manager from someone else and they werent going to let you be taken by someone else

during practice, they grilled you over your relationship with him

‘i honestly dont know why this is your business but if you must know, his adoptive father, aizawa-san, is my mother’s co-worker and i usually catsit for them. dont worry, we’re not dating. just friends, that’s all’

but they know it wasnt just a friendship type of situation

so when the 4 third years saw you being confessed to by this ‘friend’ outside, they almost toppled out the window as they tried to listen to what was being said

‘shittykawa get off my back!’

‘nuh uh! i want to see clearly!’

‘everyone needs to know that code red is happening!’

yall what

mattsun took a picture and sent it to the gc about their princess being confessed to

no one replied, possibly too upset or too busy sulking

kyoken actually had to be excused outside bc he was glaring at everyone and everything and the teacher and students were so scared that they had to take him out of class

they were even more peeved when you just walked in like nothing happened

you didnt mention the confession to anyone else the whole day and when you entered the gym, it was very tense

the coaches even looked confused

‘did you guys fight?’

you questioned but no one answered

kunimi and kindaichi were playing with a ball and glaring at it as it hit the floor

the 2nd years yes including kyobabie were pouting to the side

the 3rd years looked annoyed and pissed off

overall just not seijoh babie vibes

i am uncomfortable with the energy we have created in the gym today🧚✨

‘hey’

you gently said and walked to the captain to figure out what was going on

‘oikawa-san, what happened?’

‘are you dating him now, y/n?’

the seriousness in his voice shocked you and you took a step back in surprise

your expression made him think that you did accept the confession and he scoffed before walking away and doing a jump serve that sounded like a canon blasting

but you were actually confused and surprised that they even knew bc you were sure it was a secluded area where no one could see you

‘dating,,,? dating who?’

you asked to them and the 3rd years just knitted their eyebrows

‘dont play coy, y/n-chan’

oikawa hissed

‘no matter how many times i flirted or asked you on dates, you never said yes. never agreed or even showed a little bit of interest. on me!! your captain!!! but now!!! this little grape boy comes along and you suddenly start dating just because he has cats! what kinda bias is this?!’

he started ranting and whining and being a brat that you pinched his nose shut

‘oi, oikawa-san, are you jumping to conclusions again? first the hickey accident and now this?’

he made a whining noise for you to let go and rubbed his nose when you finally let go

you turned around to face the others and you sighed, massaging your temples

‘everyone, who spread this misunderstanding?’

no one pointed to anyone but their gazes settled on the thick eyebrow boy that you were sure wouldnt have ratted you out

a noise of surprise and betrayal escaped from you as mattsun quickly scrambled to get everyone to stop staring at him

‘MATTSUN-SAN! YOU-!’

you pointed at him and mattsun rushed forward to grab your hands before holding them close to his chest

‘y/n-chan, we just saw you when we were passing! it was makki who wanted to tell the others!’

the betrayal made iwa laugh but makki ran up to kick mattsun to the side

‘youre the one who committed the deed! i was merely suggesting it! it was iwaizumi who wanted to watch them first!’

‘IWA-SAN!’

you gasped at the normally chill third year and you didnt expect him to be the one who started it first

iwa panicked and held his hands out cautiously

‘y/n-chan, understand that i was just worried and i didnt want you to be outside by yourself after what happened, okay? i didnt know he was confessing to you’

you closed your eyes and pinched the bridge of your nose tightly

‘again! whoever and whatever happens in my love life is my business! mine! and only mine! you cannot control it and get angry at ME because i do want a boyfriend and i do want to experience dating bc i want to know how it feels to be loved like that! so i wont let a bunch of children stop me from having that!’

the third years shared a look before they they gave up and nodded in defeat

but oikawa was the most offended

‘Y/N-CHAN! I ASK YOU ON DATES ALL THE TIME AND I ALWAYS OFFER TO GIVE YOU THAT LOVE SO WHY CAN’T IT BE ME?! WHAT DOES THAT GRAPE HUMANOID HAVE THAT I DONT?!’

he whined and stomped his foot after crossing his arms and a pout on his face

you shook your head, not even bothering to answer that, and went to the others

‘dont be mad and be upset, okay? i refused him bc i have no time for a relationship when im too busy looking after my own boys. i really dont want to add another’

kindaichi and yahaba’s face scrunched as they rushed forward to hug you

‘we thought you would leave us y/n-chan!’

‘stay as ours forever, okay?’

you were so relieved that they werent as aggressive as the oldests and gave each player their own favorite hugs

but you stopped in front of kyo, not really knowing how to hug him since youve never exactly showed any type of affection like that

so you were just awkwardly standing there with raised arms but he patted your head, you smiling and leaning more to his touch

‘hm, kyo-san, ya finally warming up to me?’

you teased but he scoffed, gently headbutting you with his forehead against yours

‘now, everyone! dont misunderstand and know that for as long as i will be a manager, i wont be in a relationship bc my time as a manager is too crucial since i would probably have to look after you so you dont get yourself to jail. a boyfriend is adding more boys in to that list and i dont want that. you will be my boys forever and i wont be taken from you so please trust on me and stop being so overprotective bc i wont give them the affection or wishes they want!’

oikawa teared up and was about to go trample you but he was held back

‘no! i want a hug! i want a family hug! cmon, iwa-chan!’

practice went by quickly but you demanded them to do 10 diving laps in punishment for all the misunderstandings theyve created

but they gladly did it bc it meant that you wont be taken from them and you would be theirs forever and their cute manager is going to pay attention to them and them only

i got serious yandere vibes from this but its so heartwarming that theyre so overprotective and lowkey you got yourself a harem

after practice, they all wanted to walk home with you but you told them that shinsou’s house was the other direction

‘y/n-chan! you said you wouldn’t-’

you rolled your eyes

‘oikawa-san, just because i refused that confession doesnt mean i will stop earning money. i still have to catsit for his family and earn my money!’

they only agreed when kyo said that he was walking that way too but they were still weary and jealous bc he got to spend more time with you than them

as you were both walking, you looked up at him

‘kyo-san, what type of hug do you like?’

‘hah?’

he looked down at you bc we short with wide eyes and flushed cheeks

you smiled and looked forward, skipping slightly

‘everyone in the team has their own special hugs. i want everyone to have one bc you all are individually special to me so-’

but he stopped walking and pulled arm before he lifted you up, making you squeak and wrap your legs around his waist

thank god you were wearing your tracksuit and not your skirt

‘k-kyo-san?’

bruh is it obv that kyoken is one of my favorite seijoh boys like bls love on him

he didnt want you to see his flustered expression bc he still has a reputation to uphold, yanno?

so he tucked it in your neck and you softly smiled before playing with the baby hairs at the base of his neck

‘you like this kind then, kyo-san? kinda aggressive but perfectly suits you, yanno?’

he just grunted and you laughed

he wasnt about to tell you that he liked holding you on his arms bc you were so tiny and so you that holding you like this makes him feel like he was protecting you and feel good about himself bc he gets to be the one who shields you from the world

yuhhhhh get it kyo

‘so yahaba-san told me that you got kicked out of class bc you scared the teacher and kids?’

you questioned and he left his spot on your neck and pulled his face back so you could clearly see his face

it was red and possibly flustered but you just snickered

he still held you by his strong arms so you were able to move your small hands to his face where he flinched at first but relaxed when you touched his cheeks

your fingers gently pulled the sides of his lips and you tilted your head to the side

‘you,,, look really handsome when you smile, kyo-san’

you whispered and he was so surprised that his tough mask fell and was replaced by wide eyes and his eyebrows rose up, the intimidating look disappearing from his eyes

‘i-i do?’

you bit your lip bc this was so different from the aggressive kyo you knew and you didnt expect this type of innocence that he just showed you

maybe he wasnt so innocent from the fights and arguments he has started or been in

but he was so innocent to soft touches and compliments bc he wasnt exposed to it, only used to the ones that were said due to the aura he exuded or his looks

‘yep, you do. so keep smiling for me, kay? dont have to be around the others or all the time, but i,,, want to see it sometimes’

he blinked at you but quickly went back to your neck to hide the big smile that was threatening to come out

you felt his lips move and you laughed

‘noooo! kyo-san!!! i want to see your smilee!!! dont hide it!!!’

but it was cut short when a familiar shout was heard from the other side of the street that was near the school

it seemed that oikawa was worried about you walking alone with kyoken so he followed you both with the other third years

‘kyoken-chan! y/n-chan!’

he shouted in betrayal

you were about to get away from kyo’s hold but he tightened his grip and leaned in to place a kiss on your forehead, still staring straight at the captain

‘mine’

again, do you know what happened next?

oikawa screamed

this was actually pretty funny to write bc wowza oikawa is so oikawa and hes just so oikawa-like, yanno? and im still simping over kyoken and shinsou is my ult fave in bnha and i really love him like ugghhhh :’)

1K notes · View notes

drawlfoy · 3 years

Text

Wonders of Ohio P.9

masterlist

requests are closed, but please read this first :)

if you want to be tagged, send an ask or message me!

pairing: draco x reader

request: nope, my original shameless self insert idea lmao

summary: american high school senior y/n y/l/n is in for the ride of her life when their exchange student is...a bit strange (but very hot). NOT a nonmagic AU, though you already knew that if you’ve read part 8 ;)

warnings: swearing, mentions of a break in, concerns about a home intruder, objectively the most fluffy scene we’ve gotten so far in this series (hehe), draco being fucking obnoxious and moody (did i mention swearing?)

a/n: ayoooooo so here’s part 9, as promised. i’ve started getting back into the hp universe more and more, so i should probably be picking up my writing soon. i’ve been feeling more myself again!! which is super awesome. i don’t think many people read this series anymore (or my author notes in general but i don’t blame yall) but i’m having a lot of fun writing it, so i’m going to keep going :)

music recs:

puppy princess -- hot freaks

loverboy -- A-wall

linger -- the cranberries

tags tags tags: @gruffle1 @missmulti @cleopatera @hahaboop @accio-rogers @geeksareunique @eltanin-malfoy @war-sword @cams-lynn @itsivyberry @ayo-cowbelly @nerd-domland @yesnerdsblog @shizarianathania @evanstanfanatic @strawberriesonsummer @hariosborn @night-ving @straightzoinked @imintoodeeptostop @naiomimoonshard @jejegu @ophelia-enthusiast @alwaysbeanunknownfan @nearly-memories @litty-dumb @callieclearwater @malfoy-wife15 @charlenasaxen @belladaises @fiantomartell @writeandtranslate @erisdogwood @loveissupernatural @sycathorn-slush @big-galaxy-chaos

word count: 3.8k :)

Y/N couldn’t help but wonder if Draco deliberately waited until the last minute to tell her family that he was leaving so he could evade her questioning. She tried to talk to him later that evening by knocking on his door, but she was met with complete silence.

Draco was ignoring her, and she didn’t get why. She’d promised to not tell anyone--even begged for him to trust her and essentially swore on her life--but he still wasn’t acting normal. Perhaps he didn’t want her to badger him with questions about the magical world.

Or maybe this was an excuse to get away from her.

Y/N swallowed the second possibility and locked it away somewhere out of sight. He’d left without a single word more to her (not even a congratulations for getting into a top 20 school, that loser) and never even bothered telling her when he’d return. And maybe that was the nicest part of it--she could pretend like he was never coming back.

As attractive as that option was, she had to admit that there was a Draco-shaped hole in her passenger car seat every time she drove to school. And in the kitchen when she was studying. And everywhere else he’d once touched.

“Why do you think he went back?”

Y/N took a break from reviewing her Art History final exam notes to look up at Lizzy. “Maybe something happened with his dad or he wanted to spend his holidays with his family? It’s probably not that serious.”

“Speaking of his dad, I tried to look up his name and see if anything came up,” Lizzy began. Y/N felt her heart jump into her throat. “Don’t you think it’s kinda sus? I haven’t found anything for him. It’s like he’s been completely wiped off the face of the earth. Do you know anything about it?”

“Honestly, I don’t think it’s any of my business.” Draco’s franticness when she found out lingered in the back of her mind as she chose her words carefully. “I’m sure if he’s a genuine political target, they’ve just scrubbed the web clean of him, being a minor and all.”

“But don’t you think it’s funny that he’s apparently so important but there’s no evidence of him or his father ever existing?”

“Lizzy.” Her voice was firm. “It’s entirely possible that his real name is different. And either way, it’s not our story to uncover. He’s entitled to his own privacy, and if he doesn’t reveal his true identity then we need to respect that.”

“Oooookaaayyyyy, Mother,” said Lizzy. “You’re so fun. You know that, right?”

“It’s my job.”

After the close brush with Lizzy, Y/N avoided the topic of Draco with her friends like wildfire. At the back of her mind, she registered that that was probably more suspicious, but when Sylvia asked her about him during lunch, she finally spun up a story.

“I told him I liked him,” she told everyone, the words stinging her throat. “He doesn’t feel the same way. I just would feel better if we dropped it.”

Her friends reacted immediately with sympathy, telling her that it wasn’t her fault that he couldn’t see her for what she was worth. Somehow, this made her feel worse. She didn’t even need to tell him her feelings to know his thoughts--he didn’t see her as anything but a “muggle”, or whatever he called them. She never stood a chance.

Y/N spent an embarrassing amount of time wondering how things would’ve been different if she was a witch. She didn’t know anything about his world (apart from the fact that they really had a stick up their asses about people knowing of them) but she somehow craved a place in it. Would Draco feel differently towards her if she was magic?

It was probably better if she didn’t pay too much mind to it, but she couldn’t let the thought go. Every time she shut her eyes at night, the memory of waking up next to Draco replayed in her head, over and over. She would’ve sold her soul to have gone back to that. Would things have been different if she had just...not found the letters? She was driving herself crazy digging through all her interactions with him. There’s no way she was imagining things, and judging by the surprised reactions of her friends when she told them he didn’t reciprocate feelings, she wasn’t the only one who thought something was there. If he was really so disgusted by her and her people, he wouldn’t have let her sleep in his room, in his bed no less.

As December wore on, her mind began to be occupied by another feverish stream of thoughts. If she didn’t already feel like she was going crazy over the Draco problem, she was going completely insane over the fact that she was misplacing things like crazy and forgetting the most basic of things. It seemed like it was almost every day that she was forgetting where she put her keys (even though she could’ve sworn she’d hung them up by the door) or getting home to find the door already unlocked even though she was sure that she’d locked it behind her. It would’ve creeped her out, but she was really off kilter. It just wasn’t right having Draco away, and the sense of dread she got every time she went by her room just threw her off balance. What if she still had lingering sickness from whatever magical infliction she suffered?

He really should’ve stuck around to watch after me. Just in case.

Another thing was bothering her--a name she saw pop up in the pouch from when she went through his letters. It was a small portion of his collection, and she didn’t even think to examine it until after he took them back from her, but she noticed that the name “Pansy Parkinson” came up more than once as a return address.

Her mind immediately jumped to the worst--Draco was madly in love with another girl, a magical girl, and traveled back home with the express purpose of declaring his neverending devotion for her and complaining about that rat Ohioan muggle that he had to spend his days with.

Y/N knew it wasn’t healthy, but no matter what she did, she couldn’t quite shake it. The fact that he’d no doubt grown up around girls that would be suitable for him to date was making her physically ill with jealousy, which was probably the most embarrassing part of her feelings for him. Nevermind how much time she spent fantasizing about how soft his hair felt or how his stupidly pretty fingers would feel grazing her skin--she couldn’t even cope with the idea of him existing with other women that were honestly a better choice to him.

That Christmas was surprisingly bleak. Being an only child always made for a quiet house during the holidays, but the expectation she held of having Draco there set her up for disappointment. Her house felt empty.

“Do you think he’s coming back?” Y/N asked her mother as they did the morning dishes together.

“Well, I assume so. Why wouldn’t he? He was scheduled to spend the entire year with us. I think that if he’s changed his mind we would at least know by now.”

“What if he’s still deciding?”

“Why, miss him already?” Mrs. Y/L/N’s tone was teasing, but she felt her cheeks grow hot.

“Quite the contrary. I’m just wondering if I’m about to become the pampered only child again or if I’m going to need to go back into the unglamorous life of sharing the spotlight.”

“Y/N,” her mother tutted. She’d stopped doing the dishes.

Y/N made a point to evade her knowing look. “Mom.”

Her mother took a breath before answering. “Nothing. As a matter of fact, I did get a letter from him a few days ago. He’s scheduled to return the second week of January, right before school goes back.”

“Oh,” said Y/N. No matter how hard she tried, there’s no way her relief wasn’t visible.

“How’s that for your Christmas gift, hm?”

“Mom!”

“Hey! Hey, it was a joke,” Mrs. Y/L/N said, throwing her hands up in a “no can do” sort of gesture. “I know that you’re good friends with him is all. Unless…”

“Mom!” Her cheeks were all shades of red.

“All I’m saying is that he seems to enjoy your company.”

“Stockholm syndrome, I’m telling you.” Her explanation of what that meant was on the tip of her tongue before she stopped herself. There was no reason to--the only person who would need that explained to them was no longer on the same continent as her.

“Whatever you’d like to think.”

The snowstorm hit them without warning, two days after Christmas. Her parents had left for the night to attend a charity auction, but unfortunately for Y/N, by the time that they realized that their daughter would be snowed in, the roads were too dangerous to drive on. Y/N begrudgingly agreed to do all of the things they told her to--get the generator ready, make sure the fireplace was prepared, and locate all the candles in the house.

On any normal day, she wouldn’t have been concerned in the slightest, but she’d felt uneasy in her house ever since the night of the break-in, and now that this was the first night she’d have to spend alone, her heart was pounding at the thought of having to sleep in an empty house. Especially if the power was out. Especially when whoever broke in was still on the loose.

She locked up at dusk, making sure that every entry to her home was completely sealed shut. The generator was in the basement, all set up in the case that the lights went out. She’d located all the bottled water in her house in case the pipes froze, and she finally retired to her room to relax.

The sense of dread that hovered around Draco’s room was gone, thankfully. The overall feeling of creepiness was just beginning to lose its jarring sting, but she’d never quite been able to shake how many things she misplaced in the beginning of the month.

She busied herself with mundane activities--she cleaned out her closet, organized her drawers, read, changed her sheets, and finished the last of her homework--but nothing could distract her from the gnawing inside of her. The hairs on the back of her neck constantly stood up, even when she was tucked away in the corner of her room, nestled into her blankets. The tingling was akin to what she felt when she walked into that antique shop on homecoming night--the same night when Draco helped her off her feet and narrowly kept her from throwing up all over Heather.

Looking back on it, she realized that when he grabbed her wrist, he must’ve done something to quell her nausea, something magical. There was no way her carsickness could’ve been able to disappear so quickly.

Her soliloquy was interrupted by what sounded like footsteps outside. Before she could assess the situation and decide what she was going to do, a boom sounded off in the distance and she was all of a sudden bathed in darkness.

Y/N froze.

Someone was most definitely outside her house, but thankfully she’d locked all the doors. And, thankfully, the boom told her that her fuse box hadn’t been messed with. A tree had probably just fallen on a transformer.

But those small comforts still didn’t change the fact that she was no longer alone--and not only that, but no longer alone without power.

Her thoughts were interrupted once again by banging on her front door. Y/N jumped, just barely managing to clap her hand over her mouth to muffle her shriek. She’d seen enough horror movies to know that alerting someone that you were home wasn’t the smartest move. She’d have to be strategic.

Heart pounding out of her chest, she crept out of her room and down the stairs. The power outage was quite lucky, she realized, as whoever was outside couldn’t see in. The moon only cast a slight light as it reflected off of the snow, so she was going to be able to see the person outside before they would see her.

She squinted from her perch by the base of the staircase. She could make out a silhouette, a tall and lanky one. The weak moonlight reflected off a very light head of hair, and Y/N was struck with a feeling of familiarity.

No way...

Y/N stood frozen for a few seconds as she heard the person knock on the door again. A muffled version of a familiar British voice said, “Is anyone there?”

Throwing all caution to the wind and praying to any higher power that was listening to her that her suspicion was correct, she pushed down on the doorknob and swung it open.

Her heart stopped.

“Draco? What are you--”

Before she could get another word out of her mouth, she was pulled into the tightest (and snowiest) hug of her life. One of his arms wrapped solidly around her waist, the other reaching further up to her shoulders to hold her closer. He was tall enough in comparison that he could rest his chin on the top of her head while she cautiously clasped her hands around him, breathing in the same soft pine scent that she knew so well.

When he finally let go of her, she noticed that his face was decidedly less pale than what it had been when she first opened the door. At a loss for words, Y/N just made her way behind him and shut the door to keep the storm from blowing any more snowflakes in. She noted that Draco was shaking.

“You’re okay,” he said, his voice low and quiet.

She grinned. “Yeah. Believe it or not, I’m not that scared of the dark.”

He didn’t look nearly as amused, wringing his hands out in front of him instead of meeting her eyes.

“You’re going to freeze to death if you’re gonna just stand there in soaking clothes,” she chided. “And what are you doing back half a month early? I know you must’ve missed me, but I didn’t expect you to miss me THAT much.”

He rolled his eyes, bringing Y/N the comfort that the sarcastic asshole was still in there. “We need to talk.”

“No, what you need to do is get changed into dry clothes,” she said. “Not sure if you’ve noticed, but until we get our generator working, there’s no heat...and I’m not sure if the Ministry is going to like it if I let you die on my watch.”

Even though he didn’t normally laugh at her jokes, he seemed especially solemn when she said this. It became very clear to her then that he regretted his brief display of affection.

“What are you doing, just standing here? Shoo! I don’t want to see you dripping snow all over the rug.” She waved him off until he made his way up the stairs, still eerily silent.

Once she was sure he was actually getting dressed, she made her way to the kitchen where she started heating up the water. She’d never been more thankful for the fact that they had a gas stove instead of an electric one.

The tea was almost finished brewing by the time that Draco was back downstairs, perched awkwardly on the couch. She’d never seen his sweater before--it was in a rich forest green with a silver crest of a snake.

“Are you going to tell me whatever is going on? I’ve never seen you like this before,” asked Y/N as she handed him the mug that she knew to be his favorite.

He took a sip and waited a bit before responding. “I found out some things while I was away.”

“Is that it? Must’ve been something pretty interesting for you to come in here and act like I’m your long lost love or whatever.” She took careful note of how his cheeks were especially pink, but it must’ve been because of the cold.

“I shouldn’t tell you everything, but I think you should probably know the gist of things,” he began. “First of all, I figured out why I couldn’t use the Obliviation cube on you. Also, you have to consent to an Unbreakable Vow.”

“A...what? Care to elaborate? Like, at least a little? Why didn’t it work on me?”

He sighed, a sharp breath of air that left his lungs in a huff. “Because you stumbled upon a very important box that can bestow the gift of magic onto anyone. And since you did something in your dream to try and open it, it permanently took root in you. I tried to reverse it, but there’s always going to be an imprint of magic on you.”

“Sick. So I’m a witch now? Like you?”

“No.” His tone was sour. “No, you’re not. For that to work, there needs to be a ritual actually completed by someone magical. That’s why you got so sick--because you would’ve needed me to help you through your dream sequence and open up the box. So, now that you’ve essentially pushed yourself into the magical world uninvited, I can’t use anything on you that’s catered towards Muggles.”

“Rats,” said Y/N. “That’s no fun. What about the whole part about my safety? And what’s that vow thing?”

“Apparently someone really, really wants that box,” Draco told her. “It doesn’t just give muggles the gift of magic--it can also give current wizards powers that are otherwise completely unavailable to the rest of the population. In the wrong hands, they could wreak havoc on the world. And I’m almost positive they think you have it.”

“Oh…” Everything started falling into place. “So, the break in? That probably was them right? And, uh, let’s say if you feel like maybe someone has been in your house while you’ve been gone? Like, that’s something I should be worried about, right?”

“Is that happening to you?” His face looked significantly more pale.

Y/N was tempted to tell him no--just to ease his nerves--but something in his look told her that she needed to be truthful. “Um, kind of. You know how I can be forgetful, though. It’s just little things, like sometimes I come home to find that the front door is unlocked when I’m sure I locked it, or I can’t find little things like my car keys and my phone, but it’s all easily explained.”

“I never should’ve left,” he said, tucked his knees up to his chest. “I should’ve known that that was Merlin’s Box.” He swallowed, meeting her eyes with a gaze that looked so forlorn that her heart ached. “I’m so sorry.”

“Hey, hey, all we have to do is tell them I don’t have the box, right? And then they’ll leave me alone.”

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I assume so, but if they didn’t find the box when they originally ransacked your room and they’re still hanging around, I don’t know what to do. That’s why I can’t obliviate you, the proper way that we use on wizards, because I can’t always be there to save you. Once I’m gone, you’re going to have to manage on your own.”

“Please, Draco,” said Y/N. “People will always talk a big game, but once I pull out my pepper spray it’s over. I can take care of myself! I didn’t need protection while you’re away.”

He smiled then, a small one that seemed more sad than anything. “You sound like me. When I was younger.”

“You probably don’t even know what pepper spray is. What’s that vow thing?”

“You have to promise that you won’t say anything that would reveal what you know about me and my world,” said Draco. “I need to find a wizard to say the incantations, but it shouldn’t be too hard. I ended up telling the Ministry what happened--I’m not going to get sent away as they have a clear record of me at least attempting to wipe your memory and they agree that you need to be able to protect yourself. Unbreakable Vows are just really intense promises. If you break it, you die.”

“Is that your way of saying you don’t really trust my word?”

He rolled his eyes. “It’s required by the Ministry. If you don’t comply, then you’re going to be completely obliviated and then you can have as much fun as you’d like trying to run from whoever that criminal is without even knowing why they’re after you. Oh, and without me.”

“Then why are you even offering the vow? Don’t you want to go home?”

Draco took a long drink from his mug. “I still have a sentence to carry out. If I go back home, I’ll get sent to the same prison that my father is being held at right now.”

“A...sentence?” Y/N stared at him. “I know you mentioned a punishment, but a sentence?”

He remained silent and refused to meet her eyes.

“Draco, what exactly did you have to do?”

“It’s none of your business,” he snapped. The sudden switch of tone made Y/N start, but he was unwavering in his scowl. “I’d prefer to not think about it.”

“But...Draco…” Y/N cast her gaze to the ground so she didn’t have to see the no doubt furious look in his eyes when she continued to push. “How bad? Do you think that maybe whoever is after me might know that I don’t have the box anymore? And that they might be trying to seek revenge against you for whatever it was that you did instead?”

He didn’t respond.

“Think about it. That would explain why I was untouched this whole time that you were away when they were still keeping tabs on me.”

With a pronounced bonk, he set his mug down on the coffee table. “I’m going to bed.”

She managed to get one more look at his face before he spun around to head up the stairs and was shocked to see what was etched into his face--anger, yes, frustration...and also shame. Unmistakable shame.

final a/n: weeoooooooo i’m like 3 minutes early...this is a monumental moment for my blog. let me know what you guys think (if there’s still people sticking with this series fjkds;al). i am going to go back into my hole and work on some math hw (wonders of ohio y/n vibes...i have low key become her trying to roleplay as a stem girl). the plot is going to thicken and hopefully there will be more fluff soon. i honestly didn’t want to add the hug bc i do want this to be slow burn but it has come to my attention that this is now about 30k words long and i haven’t given y’all so much as an inkling that draco has feelings/anything will happen between them so i gotta give you something to hold you over fjdska;

#draco x reader #draco imagine #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy imagine #draco x you #draco malfoy x you #draco x oc #draco malfoy x oc #draco malfoy #draco #dracotok #draco x y/n #draco malfoy x y/n

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writingsbymarie · 5 years

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Its You

Word count: a whole 5.4k

Pairing: Tom Holland x Female!Osterfield!reader

Warnings: Some steamy make outs, dancing without space for Jesus, swearing, Harrison being a cockblock lol

A/n: This is the longest Fic I’ve ever written so I hope yall like it.

Masterlist

Harrison is probably the biggest pain in your ass. Yes, you loved your older brother, but he was extremely overprotective when it came to you. Yes as your older brother he was “responsible” for you but sometimes it could be annoying as hell. You and Harrison currently shared a flat together splitting the price in half. The college you were going to was right by his flat so he offered to let you live in the other room in his flat since he was looking for a roommate since Tom was gone a lot and honestly so was Harrison which was definitely nice. But on the topic of Tom. Tom Holland had to be the nicest guy you ever met. You had a huge crush on him and by huge your in love with him. Your crush started 4 years ago. You were 15 and he was 19. Tom came over to see Harrison, but Harrison was running late. You were sitting on the couch wrapped in the blankets with a bowl of popcorn watching The Avengers when you heard someone open the door.

“Harrison” you called thinking he was back from the store.

“Not Harrison, it’s Tom,” he said as he walked into the living room. He was wearing a tight white shirt with sweatpants making you drool a bit. Before you had a crush you always thought he was hot, but then that developed into feelings.

“Harrison is at the store right now, but he should be back soon. You can watch Avengers with me until he comes if you want” you smiled patting the couch gesturing him to sit down.

“Could never say no to Avengers” he laughed taking a seat next to you. You looked over at him to see goosebumps arise on his skin, so you shifted puting half the blanket over him. You also scooted closer to him and your legs were touching. He smiled at you making you blush and look down which he definitely notice making you want to hide under the blanket.

“Ya know this is gonna be you in like a year” you grinned, and he laughed.

“Yeah I don’t really know how to handle it I’m still freaking out” he laughed covering his face.

“You’re going to be amazing, you are so talented, and soon you’re going have a whole army of fangirls, you’re gonna be a Harry Styles” you declared putting your hand on his shoulder.

“You think so” he questioned. “Its a lot to take in, and I’m the third Spiderman what if I’m so much worse than Toby and Andrew”

“Tom, trust me, you are going to be incredible and they are gonna love you” you assured, and he smiled at you which he had done many times before, but this time your heart melted and you felt the heat rise to your cheeks yet again.

“Thanks, Y/N” he replied grabbing your and hand and giving it a squeeze.

And that was the day you realized you had a crush on Tom, and flash forward 4 years later and that so-called crush was now love. And your love for Tom was now starting to drive you a bit crazy. Due to your crush on him you broke off things with guys way too frequently, and you knew that you would always be his best friends younger sister, but you had some hope that maybe, just maybe he felt the same way.

“Harrison can Willow and I please come to the club with you tonight, we can’t get in without you and Tom” you begged. There was a club by your flat that was supposed to be one of the best, but it was so hard to get into, but since you knew a certain celebrity that was going tonight you could get in with him.

“I do not need to see you wasted all over a bunch of guys, absolutely not I am not clubbing with you” he maintained causing you to groan.

“Ugh Harrison please, it’s supposed to be the best night they have had in a while and I’m 19 you have to stop acting like im 14 please” you complained.

“Harrison just let her come it’s gonna be an awesome night” called a voice from down the hallway. It was Tom who was staying at your flat to catch up with Harrison for the week. You felt heat rush to your face but quickly brushed it off.

“SEE, Tom agrees that you’re being overdramatic so Willow and I are going” you declared with a smile on your face. You were pretty sure Harrison’s eyes rolled to the back of his head.

“Fine, but if I see any guy touching you, ill beat his arse” Harrison grumbled as he walked to the kitchen. You saw Tom emerge from the hallway with no shirt making you feel a bit dizzy. He held out his fist and you bumped yours with his giving him a smile.

“Thanks” you breathed looking at the ground to stop yourself from checking out his body. He had just finished filming for Far From Home and his muscles were honestly too much for you to handle. You started to walk forwards towards your room to call your friend, but of course, you ran into slipping in on the tile causing you to fall. But you didn’t hit the ground. Toms strong arms caught you and your hands were currently places on his bare chest. And to say you were gone was an understatement. You looked up and met his eyes taking a deep breath. When you realized where your hands were you immediately removed them your face literally turning tomato red.

“Sorry” you squeaked practically darting past him to your room. You quickly shut the door putting you back against it taking a deep breath. You put your face into your hands feeling the warmth from being so embarrassed. You walked to your bed flopping down on it. You grabbed your phone and messaged your best friend Willow telling her tonight was a go. Tonight was the night you were going to get over your ridiculous crush on Tom and find a cute guy and have the time of your life.

***

You were leaving for the club in about 5 minutes. Willow had arrived at your flat wearing a skin-tight navy blue dress with satin pumps. You were wearing something similar except your dress wasn’t as short, and it was red. You walked to your room grabbing your purse. As you walked out of your room you ran into Tom whose eyes widened when he saw you. You swore you saw his eyes skim over your body, but you pushed that thought to the back of your mind. He was wearing a black button-up with jeans and well he looked hot as fuck.

“You clean up nice Osterfield” he smirked, and when you say you almost passed out you were not lying. Your whole body felt like it was on fire, and as he said that he for sure checked you out.

“T-thanks” you stuttered walking away from him towards Willow who looked like she was about to burst out laughing after seeing that whole altercation. You quickly gave her the death glare. Harrison walked out of the bathroom and the second he looked at you his jaw dropped.

“Okay yeah, you are not wearing that” he exclaimed making you frown.

“Haz, I can wear whatever I want, and out uber is here, so we have to go,” you said before he could say anything else you grabbed Willow’s arm and walked out the door. Harrison jumped into the front seat and you sat in the middle between Tom and Willow. Your thighs were touching and your heart was racing and Willow could tell, so she started laughing. You just shook your head leaning your head back on the seat. The club was only a Ten-minute drive so you were there in no time. You got out of the car and took a deep breath. You were going to find a cute boy, get drunk and forget about Tom.

You walked towards the entrance behind Tom and Harrison. Tom showed his Id and gestured for you guys to go in. You walked in to see lights flashing and music booming. Willow immediately grabbed your hand dragging you to the bar.

“Stay safe” yelled Harrison as you walked off. You turned one last time to give him a thumbs up and then you disappeared into the crowd of people. You both took a seat at the bar ordering a shot of vodka to take the edge off. The bartender poured the vodka into the shot glass and you downed it the taste burning your throat. You shook your head making a disgusted face from the horrible taste and Willow laughed and took hers. The bartender then gave you some kind of margarita and told you it was from the guy to the right of you. He was cute, but he looked a little old for you so you just smiled and looked away. Your eyes traveled to the dancefloor as you sipped your drink. Your eyes landed on Tom who was dancing with a gorgeous brunette which honesty stung. But when you made eye contact with him. He winked. The dude fucking winked, and honestly, you thought you imagined it because you were a little tipsy, but he definitely winked. You turned quickly ordering another vodka downing it once again. You were never going to get over him you thought as you leaned against your hand closing your eyes. You felt a tap on your back thinking it was just some random guy you stood up and turned around to say you werent in the mood to dance, but you were face to face with Tom.

“Hey” he bubbled stumbling a bit. He was much more intoxicated than you obviously.

“Hi” you responded a bit confused why he left the dance floor with the girl he was with before to talk to you.

“Are you having fun” he questioned wiggling his eyebrows. Making you laugh a bit.

“Yeah” you lied. He obviously noticed because his smile turned to a frown. He grabbed you handed making your whole body go stiff.

“Come dance with me, I want you to have fun” he beamed dragging you to the crowded dance floor. You were too shocked to say anything and before you could protest you were on the dance floor. Tom started dancing like an idiot shaking his arms and jumping up and down to the beat making you giggle. You swayed a bit to the music still nervous to do anything. Tom noticed that you were uneasy. He came closer to you and put his lips close to your ear.

“Just relax Y/N, and dance I swear it feels so much better when you just feel the music and forget about your problems” he assured and then backed away and smiled. You took a deep breath. He was right you were being uptight and worrying too much. You knew you should be enjoying this because you were currently dancing with your crush. Even though this was not your goal of the night you should make the most of it. You smiled back and started to sway your body to the music. You lost yourself in the music forgetting all of your problems just like Tom told you to. You danced with yourself for a song until you were pushed into Tom by another girl. You took this opportunity to wrap your arms around his neck. You refused to look at his face, but he didn’t object. Instead, his hands found your waist. You were already steaming hot from dancing and being enclosed in so many people, but somehow you felt yourself get even hotter. You both swayed to the music and you rested your head on his shoulder. You decided to make a bold move and you turned your body pressing your back against Toms. Honestly, you were making a move, and the only reason you were was probably the alcohol. Tom’s hands remained on your waist, but his grip got a bit tighter as your bum rubbed up against his groin. You felt his breath on your neck making you dizzy. He left a couple of kisses on your neck and then he spun you around to face him. This time you looked up at his face. There was a lot of tension, to say the least. His eyes went from your eyes to your lips and his head began to slowly get closer to yours, and suddenly reality hit you. You were about to kiss Tom Holland. The person you have been in love with for way too long. It was 100% the alcohol because there is no way you could this sober. You closed the gap connecting your lips with his. His lips were soft against yours. It was a slow sensual kiss. He pulled away, your foreheads still connected.

“You’re Beautiful” he proclaimed, and he kissed you again. This time it was much faster and needier. You pulled him as close as you could and his hands fell to you bum making you gasp into the kiss. He took that as an opportunity and slipped his tongue into your mouth. Your tongues fought for dominance him obviously winning. Your lips moved in sync and you felt as if you were on cloud nine. You made out on the dancefloor for what felt like hours until you felt your phone vibrate from the pocket in your dress. You pulled away making Tom giving you a confused look. You took out your phone to see Harrison was calling you. Your stomach dropped when you realized you just intensely made out with his best friend while he was in the place.

“I gotta take this” you squealed in a small panic terrified that he saw you and Tom. You answered the call once you got off the dance floor.

“Harrison are you okay,” you asked your heart beating out of your chest.

“Yeah I’m fine I was calling to see if you were okay” he responded. You let out the breath you were holding thanking god he didn’t see you and Tom. you felt your phone vibrate quickly looking down seeing a text from Willow saying she was exhausted and ready to leave when you were.

“Yeah, I’m fine, Willow and I are gonna head out, but you and Tom have fun okay” you insisted as you walked towards the exit.

“Sounds good, Tom and I will probs be out for a couple more hours, just let me know when you get back to the flat okay”

“Okay, See ya later” you finished hanging up. You texted Willow to meet you outside the club as you exited the front of the club. The cold air hit your body, and you started to process what happened. Yeah, it was wrong, but it felt so right. You couldn’t stop smiling. You turned to see Willow walking out the doors of the club the huge grin still on your face. Willow wiggled her eyebrows.

“Girl I haven’t seen you this happy since you met Jake Gyllenhaal what happened” she questioned.

“I kissed Tom” you squealed, and her eyes widened

“No fucking way” she gasped, but you just nodded. You both jumped up and down like two five-year-olds who got what they wanted for Christmas. “You need to tell me everything” she exclaimed.

“Okay my first question is was he a good kisser” she pressed.

“Oh my god yes, his lips may be thin, but holy shit that man can kiss, and the way his hands felt on my body I thought I was gonna pass out” you giggled and her face was filled with excitement for you.

In the uber, you explained how everything went down and the Uber driver probably thought you guys were crazy because you were both freaking out. Willow was the only person you ever told about your massive crush on Tom and shes “shipped it” since the beginning. You guys exited the uber stumbling up to your flat. You both plopped on the couch turning on the TV grabbing a snack. You both talked about your nights until you both knocked out the TV still playing.

***

The next morning you woke up on the couch and Willow was still fast asleep, but she was on the floor making you chuckle. You dragged yourself from the couch to the bathroom your head throbbing. You looked honestly horrible. Your makeup was smeared you were still wearing your clothes from last night. Your hair was knotted as well and you honestly looked insane. You popped and Advil and stepped into the shower. You washed all the makeup off your face your body relaxing as the hot water hit your body. The headache began to go away and then you remember what happened last night. Your closed eyes shot wide open. You made out with Tom. you felt excitement but also dread. Questions flooding your mind. What if he regrets it? What if he doesn’t even remember? What if it ruins our friendship? What if he tells Haz? Honestly, the thought of facing Tom made you so anxious you wanted to throw up and it wasn’t the hangover talking. You finished up in the shower and wrapped a town around your body. You exited the bathroom to see Tom who walked out of the guestroom. You stopped dead in your tracks. He looked hungover just like you. You were not ready to face him so instead of saying anything you darted to your bedroom closing the door. This was going to be a long day.

After getting dressed you walked out of your room to the kitchen to see Tom and Harrison making coffee. You avoided looking at Tom, but you for sure felt his eyes on you. Willow was still knocked out on the floor next to the couch, so you went over shaking her awake. She groaned sitting up rubbing her neck.

“I’m so fucking hungover” she groaned standing up to go to the bathroom.

“You feeling okay,” Harrison asked.

“Yeah, a killer headache, but yeah” you breathed. “I’m assuming your fine since you never get hungover you lucky bastard” you laughed.

“Yep I am totally fine, sucks you got the bad hangover gene” he joked making you laugh.

“Why did you leave so early,” Tom asked catching you off guard. You finally met his gaze but you quickly looked away.

“Willow and I were both tired” you mumbled as you sat down on the couch.

“Did you have fun at least” he probed. You knew he remembered which just made you more embarrassed because you were avoiding him, and you were going to continue to avoid him because talking to him about it freaked you out way too much.

“Uh yeah” you sighed. You heard the bathroom door open revealing a sick looking Willow.

“I think I drank too much yesterday” she groaned. You lifted yourself from the couch going to Willow.

“Haz, I’m gonna take her out for burgers across the street, so I’ll be back later” you declared. You felt Toms eyes on you again and you looked up for a split second your eyes meeting his, and he gave you the “we need to talk look”, but you looked down ignoring it. “Willow I’m just gonna grab my shoes and we can go” She nodded and walked towards the couch to gather her belongings. You made your way to your room and once you walked through the door you went to your closet. Right as you turned around you heard your door close. You whipped around to see Tom.

“We need to talk about last night” he pressed.

“What about last night” you shrugged trying to act oblivious. You felt like your heart was going to beat out of your chest. Your stomach was doing backflips and you were damn near about to go into full panic mode.

“The kiss Y/n, I know you remember” he scoffed. Walking closer to you.

“Oh that,” you said dumbfounded.

“Harrison can’t know, It was a mistake we were both drunk” he addressed making your heart sink. That hurt. You felt your heartbreak, and you felt tears begin to form in your eyes, but for your sake, you took a deep breath trying to act like you were fine. You were trying to figure out how to as if the kiss meant nothing, but it honestly meant so much.

“Y-yeah” you agreed looking down at your feet. Your nails dug into your palms and you bit your inner cheek to try and hold yourself together.

“I’m glad we’re on the same page” he confided. You didn’t say a word though. You were scared that if you did you would break. So you simply slid your shoes on him and pushed past him not even looking at him. You walked right out the door Willow following you most likely confused.

“You okay” she questioned looking at you with concern, and you just broke down the tears you were holding back finally flowing down your face.

“He said all of it was a mistake” you whimpered.

“Aw honey I’m so sorry” she offered wrapping her arms around you. You hugged her back crying in her arms for a minute, but you pulled away wiping your eyes. You weren’t going to let him hurt you like this. It was one kiss, and you weren’t going to let it ruin your life.

***

It had been about a week since the Tom innocent, and as much as you wanted to say that you were fine you were heartbroken. You had completely avoided Tom the whole week, which he definitely noticed because he texted you asking you if you were alright, and you just didn’t respond. Unfortunately today you were going to have to see him because the Hollands were throwing a pool party which you had already agreed to go to.

“Y/N we gotta go or we’re gonna be late” Harrison called,

“Coming” you yelled back as you grabbed towel slinging it over your shoulder. You walked out of your bedroom meeting Harrison in the kitchen.

“Are you okay, and please be honest with me because you’ve been acting weird all week” he acknowledged hia eyes soft. You gave him a soft smile and wrapped your arms around him.

“I’m okay just having a rough week, thank you for caring” you whispered. You backed away from the hug. Harrison gave you an endearing smile that you returned and then you were off to the Holland residence where you would spend the whole afternoon attempting to avoid Tom.

***

When you reached the Holland house you were greeted by Sam. You and the twins were pretty good friends. You were the same age as him and you guys had attended the same school. You gave Sam a small hug and then he led you to the backyard.

“I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever Y/n how have you been,” he asked curiously.

“uh, pretty good, what about you, anything new with you” you queried.

“Nah just the same old boring stuff as usual” he laughed as you walked towards the pool. You saw Paddy swimming in the water. His eyes lit up when he saw you. You were Paddys babysitter because the boys were never home, and you didn’t go out to the clubs much. Paddy got out of the pool running up to you giving you a big hug making you yelp.

“Paddy you’re gonna get my clothes all wet” you exclaimed trying to pry him off, but he just giggled now trying to get you as wet as possible.

“Will you come swimming with me” he beamed as he started to shiver.

“Of course just let me get my stuff together and I’ll come swim” you laughed he smiled wide then ran back into the pool jumping in. You found an empty spot and placed your belongings down laying your towel out on the lawn chair. You peeled your shirt off and pulled your shorts down. You then turned towards the house to see Tom’s eyes on you. He was yet again checking you out, and it pissed you off. You didn’t understand what he was playing at. You shook your annoyance off and headed towards the pool. There were a couple younger kids who were most likely paddys friends, and then Sam and some other people from your school in the pool. You entered the pool slowly the water cold against on your skin.

“Just jump in Y/n youll get used to it” Sam laughed.

“No way in hell am I jumping into this pool” you shivered, but then Sam grabbed your arm pulling you into the water with a small shriek. Your body hit the water and you felt the cold seep onto your whole body. You shot up from underwater shivering.

“Sam I hate you” you shrieked as you splashed him, but he just laughed.

Once you finally got used to the water you joined the game of Marco polo which then led to chicken fights. You were currently on Sam’s shoulders laughing your ass off because neither of you could stay steady. You were currently up against Harry and Paddy. Somehow Sam slipped making you both fall into the water. You both came up from underwater facing each other and you both burst out laughing falling into each other. You were pretty sure Sam was flirting with you. He was being extra touchy, and he kept complimenting you. You didn’t mind though, and as bad as it sounded you hoped Tom was watching. You hoped he was jealous. When you looked over at Tom he was watching, and his jaw was clenched as you began to flirt back with Sam. You felt bad because Sam was your friend, but making Tom jealous made you feel like you were on top of the world.

“Sam I’m gonna go to the bathroom real quick” you called as you pushed yourself out of the pool. You walked to your lawn chair grabbing your towel. You wrapped it around your body and entered the Holland home. You walked to the bathroom and did your business. You washed your hands then exited the bathroom to find Tom waiting outside the door.

“Why were you flirting with my brother” he pressed.

“Why do you care who I flirt with, you have no right to question who I flirt with” you sassed.

“I don’t care” he defended his jaw clenched.

“If you don’t care why did you ask” you provoked an eyebrow raised.

“I don’t know” he quipped his cheeks tinting red.

“Are you jealous”

“No” he replied extremely quick.

“I don’t believe you”

“I am not jealous” he defending moving closer towards you until you back hit the wall. He was so close to you, you could feel the heat radiating from his body. The tension in the air was thick. Your heart was beating out of your chest. You both stared at each other for what felt like age until Tom slammed his lips against yours making you squeal. Your eyes were wide open. You didn’t kiss back at first. After a couple of seconds, your eyes fluttered shut and your arms moved up his torso to wrap around his neck. His arms went from your waist moving over your bum to your thighs

“Jump” he mumbled against your lips, and you did as he said wrapping your legs around his waist pulling him as close as you could. Everything was moving fast. Tom’s hands began to fidget with the string of your bikini.

“Tom are you in here”

It was Harrison. You jumped out of his arms so fast scurrying to the bathroom shutting the door. Tom looked just as panicked as you. He pointed to the bathroom gesturing you to go in.

“Uh yeah, I went to go find one of the inflatables for the pool” he lied. You heard their voices get quieter until you couldn’t hear them anymore. You let out the breath you were holding. You dragged you back down the door going into a ball. You put your face into your hands wondering what the hell was going on. You were genuinely confused, because he said the kiss was a mistake, but then out of no where he kissed you again. Talk about mixed signals. You stood up rubing your temples. You walked out of the bathroom back outside. You sat on your lawn chair and watched Tom from across the backyard. Your eyes met his and he gave you a smirk. This man was going to be the death of you.

***

After the pool party, you headed back to the flat. Harrison had a date tonight so you would have the flat to yourself. You put a bag of popcorn in the microwave and turned the TV on. You looked at your DVDs seeing Spiderman homecoming on top of the stack. You didn’t want to watch it but you found yourself opening up the case and plopping the disc in the PlayStation. You heard the microwave go off and you strolled to the microwave dumping the bag of popcorn into a bowl. You shut the lights off and flopped onto the couch. You pressed the play button and the movie began. You sat there admiring Tom, thinking about what happened today. You wondered what would have happened if Harrison didn’t walk into the house. You were off in your head until you heard a knock at the door. You pushed yourself up and dragged yourself to the door. You looked through the peephole to see Tom. Your heart skipped a beat as you opened the door.

“Can I come in?” he asked his eyes pleading you to let him in.

“Sure, so what brings you here Harrison isn’t he-”

“I can’t get you out of my head. Ever since the night at the club, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. And this is so wrong I mean you are my best friend’s little sister, and if he were to find out I’m pretty sure he would kill me” he blurted leaving you speechless. You stood there your mouth agape as you tried to process what he was saying. “Can you please say something” he begged.

“I don’t know what to say” you gulped.

“I like you Y/n and not just as a friend” he expressed coming closer to you. He put his hand on your cheek and leaned into his touch.

“I like you too” you whispered. Tom let out a sigh of relief bowing his head. You then put your hands on his cheeks bringing his face up to look at yours. You smiled softly at him and then connected your lips. The kiss was sweet and slow. Tom’s hands fell to your waist pulling you close to him. The kiss began to get more desperate. Hands roaming each other’s bodies. You pulled him towards the couch, and he laid you on the couch and then hovered over you.

“I love that you’re watching my movie darling” He goated his lips from yours making you whine. You felt his lips fall to your neck sucking on it making you gasp and let out a moan.

“I can’t help that you are so attractive and your acting skills blow me away” You felt Tom smile against your neck.

“I’m pretty sure you’re the attractive one” he smirked. You pulled his head back to yours kissing him again. Your hands roamed his body sliding under his T-shirt. He then broke the kiss to pull it completely off. You gawked at his build body.

“Like what you see” he smirked making your face flush red. He dove back down to kiss your neck making you moan again. He then sat you up to remove your shirt as well. You usually would be insecure, but the way Tom looked at you made you dizzy. You were so in the moment that you missed the sound of your apartment door opening.

“What the fuck”

#tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland angst #tom holland smut #tom holland fluff #tom holland x osterfield!reader #marvel #marvel imagine #tom holland spiderman

550 notes · View notes

bma-2020 · 4 years

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Okiedok here’s the delio. I have a list of all the blogs from the last six months who’s actively either responded to a meme i sent, responded to a message ive sent, replied to something regarding mally herself, has actually written with me, written a starter for me from my liking a starter call, has at least liked a starter i wrote for them to awknowedge it exists, all that jazz, i have a lot of open field so it’s not just a possible tumblr didnt let them no option anymore, because i send memes to everyone who posts them that i see. I reply to most peoples ooc posts. I like most starter calls I pass by. I try my darndest to actually interact bc i know how it feels to be ignored and its… i’ve been called one before so i’m using the word, thats fluffing cunty behavior, and honestly if you complain about not being interacted with but never even try when i try with you, ya being cunty, end of. I gotta list. That list only entails Mally because she’s who I care about the most. I’m probably gonna start instilling a new rule in all my blogs that if you ignore Mally and/or Darcy( @tasedandconfused ), since I would say they’re my two main blogs tho darcy gets ignored even more than mally does, probably bc i denied canon and left it entirely we know fandom hates that, if either of them is ignored then… Ya out of luck, I’m gonna unfollow you. I’m debating soft blocking everyone who ignored me on both of them but I don’t want to like be mean and deny the chance to eventually try again but at the same time i shouldnt feel bad for taking a stand and saying this is bullsheet, idk my anxiety says im awful for giving a fluff about myself but also i should give a fluff about myself probably, ive nearly died in the last three months, my brain almost exploded, i just had three root canals on one corner of my face, i have to potentially get surgery on my inner ear which i cant even afford, i dont got time to deal with only being used for like smut memes or like as a resource blog or utter bs like that, i dont got time for it. So new rules here. 1: If Mally or Darcy are not acknowledged, written with, responded to, viewed as more than just their fluffing bodies? ya dropped, im unfollowing, potentially soft blocking, which means blocking and unblocking for those not in the know, on all accounts I follow you on. Every single one. I know most of my muses are on sideblogs but despite not being able to send memes from sideblogs you can block people from sideblogs fun fact, i will do that if i have to. 2: I’m gonna be posting SCs, PCs, memes, etc. I like and respond to plotting calls, starter calls, i send memes, all of that. If I don’t get any response within.. I’m giving one week for people who don’t run on a queue and a month and a half to people on a queue based system, if i dont get anything within that time like at least an im being like ‘its posted’ or ‘its queued i wanted to let you know in case tumblrs a fluffbutt’ (i do this sometimes if i dont get even just a like on the starters i post so i at least know people saw it since i know tumblrs bs, i wait until the day they’re active to do so in case theyre busy yknow) basically i need acknowledgment at all. No you can’t claim this is abt follower count bc when you unfollow someone they inevitably unfollow you too, thats gonna drop my following, not as quickly as soft blocking would but i wanna be fair i guess, which leads to: 3: I’m basing this on your activity too, like if i like a think and you’re gone for a month after that its fine, im not gonna unfollow you unless you never come back or youre online and posting others just not mine because that tells me youre specifically ignoring me and im gonna drop you for that end of. I’m done with the bullsheet im done w the dillish behavior, i love friendship but if im giving and never receiving thats extremely one way and not gonna work. I check through my follow list weekly and i go back about five-10 pages on someones feed before i unfollow them to see their actual activity and see if theyre here or if its a q so. I’m thorough basically. 4: You dont have to be active with me on all your blogs, i mean i’d prefer it but thats hard as fluff so essentially if you have like five blogs and are just like trying w me on two or three thats fine. Ten blogs, four or five with at least a plot formed is cool. Multis just one muse is all I’d need. I’m not gonna unfollow the blogs youre not writing w me on if you at least write w me on some. Again, specifically Mally and/or Darcy. If you ignore both of them, we’re done. I havent been active on darcy because of being ignored and its a huge butt mess and im just tired i wanna use my babies, you don’t get to have my ‘better’ muses like i know a lot of ppl only follow me for my boys or my villains, you don’t get them if you ignore my baby. But, there is a limit there too. 5: If you never respond to a meme or thread even once with Mally or Darcy, or post a starter, i reply, its never replied to again after a month, I’m unfollowing and/or soft blocking for that too. Bc that means youre just raising my hopes to fluff with me or get someone else and honestly, youre even more cunty than than the people just flat out ignoring me if you do that. And this isnt a specific person, this is five of the people actually on my list. Yes, my list is also annotated with specifics again I was very thorough on this yesterday, I hyperfixated I’ll admit it, I’m in a fluffing depressionary bubble and being told to get over it because people want something they dont deserve to have to. I am a believer that people deserve good things but if youre purposefully being cunty… no you dont. 6: No I’m not releasing my list, maybe I will and I’ll omit the urls because I don’t want people being buttholes to each other too but otherwise, yall not seeing it im not giving a callout because… really thats just unnecessary here. I don’t think yall are toxic people or something i just think yall are unintentionally being cunty. And no I don’t mean everyone that follows me i mean the ppl that add up to what i’ve documented so far and fit the bill of butthat that i’ve shown, its behaviors yall gotta check before ya wreck. Yes there will be some people who have priority, everyone has those people, I write w kathryn on other platforms since she doesnt go on here as often but when Kathryn returns from war here (if she does cause she also agrees most ppl on this platform are cunty, i feel really bad saying that word so often but im gonna keep doing it i recently deleted an ask saying I was a huge cunt for not sending someone smut memes when I didn’t even follow them or know they existed so, again the travesty of this place is nutballers) same with owly, alex is here too, my most active partners are always going to be priority because theyre the ones who show the most interest and the most care. I understand that with others as well which is why I have the timeframe set up, because I want to be as open and shizz as possible while atill being firm i guess. I don’t want to have extreme double standards like its impossible for double standards not to exist at least a little bit but I want to avoid a golden chest full of them I guess. 7: I don’t have a seven rn, this was an even number and it bothered me. Seven is nust my warning that I’m bittery writing this on mobile so formatting is not real but i tried my dandest to make this look like something people might actually mind. I dont want to be butty, i dont want to be awful, i dont want to start drama or have drama but that shizz comes around anyways so i might as well make my space as okay for me as i can cause im supposed to avoid stress so my brain doesnt almost explode again, like again i almost fluffing died i dont need ppl fake being my friend or anything, i want stuff to be real and clear. I want to be happy to be on here again and have fun like i used to since my health is plummetting and I’m not allowed to go outside near plants by myself anymore because i welt up. I have plants outside my work place and im surrounded by chemicals all day long I’m welted from here to new york constantly and never comfortable in my own skin because of it and constantly see people online acting like these actual real problems are pretentious because ‘its an excuse’ when, im a fluffing sagittarius, do you know how much i want to magically be a millionaire so i can pay for friends and my own medical stuff and go on traveling and adventures, be outside probably not camping bc as a pagan i know thats a death sentence but like be outside, lay on grass, go back to swimming because i used to swim competitively and due to health reasons i can barely even go in a pool anymore because theres too much sunlight which, bit plot twist i know, im fluffing allergic to vitamin D and the rays of the sun, so go figure, attempts to be healthy kill me more, i also cant eat most plants and am constantly dying from just eating food, they dont know whats wrong with me. i cant fix it by going ve/gan for a month inf act i tried and it almost made my heart stop thanks society. These arent excuses these are the lives of disabled and diseased and to a lesser but still very real point, ethnic lives every fluffing day. This is real shit and its murder and online and gaming? It may be all I have soon since I can’t just go out and make new friends cause, again, I’d fluffing die. I get sick going to the mall or the movie theater, I miss theme parks so much but have to minimize it to weeks i dont have work so i dont get fired for having a welt while working in the beauty industry. I may have to get a degree online and change my field entirely because of my illness that nobody understands. People even make fun of it constantly online and I wish I could just drop online entirely because of how unbelievably ableist the entirety of the world is, i wish i could drop humans in general for their ableism, but i cant. I don’t have choices in most cases, but throwing away people who maybe purposefully maybe unintentionally thats why i’m giving you this warning and will be repeating this warning for awhile, this is where i have choice. I have to use what little choice I have in life while I can since everytime i go to movies or a concert or a theme park i almost die because of not having an immune system that functions or being in certain air qualities pr being near plants or unclean people, I may not have much time and I gotta do whats best for what little mental health I have, and if that means dropping people i care about and really want to write with and do things with but who ignore me then, i guess so be it.

#out.#illness cw #health cw #food mention #ive been writing this since noon and its now two pm so this is great #i’s usually put this under a read more but... maybe most people dont deserve a read more rn lol #their behavior will keep being awful if its not pointed out to them so #im done im gonna go welt up from hugging my cat and cry for a bit because i feel mean

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bluesfm · 4 years

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( park chaeyoung , twenty two , & cisfemale ) who ? these days , it’s all about blue hyong, who comes from los angeles & ca and is making headlines as a singer . she currently has a fan count of 42k , no thanks to the rumors of them being inflexible ! but , on the other hand , their most devout fans say they’re actually imaginative . last i heard , they caused quite a buzz when she publicly dissed her new record label and the misogynistic treatment she was receiving from their reps ! it’s no wonder they remind me of long rants in the notes app being posted to her twitter account , empty bottles of wine laying at recording studios’ floors & notebooks upon notebooks filled with lyrics she might never use but refuses to let go of .

well hello human friends !! n also hello to the non human friends too , wassup . i’m angie a dumb noodle from the middle of the south american jungle , and i’m here to introduce yall to this mess i call blue who’s a muse i have had for yrs now n carry w/ me wherever i go , with some minimal changes but she’s still the same messy bitch on the inside don’t worry folks ! so i will provide u w/ some background info on her n some possible connections under the cut . issa lil messy but we’ve been away for a while pls bear w me

blue is the only daughter to a couple of south korean immigrants that came to america when they were in their very early 20s n already expecting blue in order to chase the american dream n create a better life for themselves n their family . their life was pretty hard for a big part of blue’s childhood , while they were both studying n working odd jobs to pay for their education all the while taking care of a child . so blue didnt have the best childhood , not that her parents were bad or anything they just didnt have time for her . nowadays , they are a lot more comfortable in life , since her dad became a lawyer n her mom is a nurse , but they definitely didnt have an easy beginning .

ok so maybe bc they werent present durant most of her childhood they didnt notice a lol of signs that might have made things a lot easier for them , bc by the time they were available to emotionally be there , during her early teenage years , blue was already kinda a mess . she had grown up w very lil structure n refused the rules they tried to instill on her n was already used to doing things her own way . that lead to a lot of conflict between them , since they expected her to study hard n do well for herself in a nine to fiver when she was already sure art was the only way to go n while she did ok , she definitely wasn’t as good as her parents expected her to be .

so ... u know her teenage yrs were basic girl angsty she fought a lot w her parents n rebelled frequently n ran away from home like ... weekly , but she never rly had any real hardships . life was reasonably good but she always had something to complain abt ... just as she liked

[ MENTAL ILLNESS TW ]

but then she reached her late teens they all realized there was something going on other than the usual teenage angst she displayed all the time when she had her first manic episode . her parents thought it was a “ blue thing “ at first bc she was usually a very impulsive person n she rly didn’t have a habit of thinking before acting on her impulses , but her mom quickly noticed the signs of a manic episode when she realized how aggitated n restless she was , specially when blue described an hallucination she seemed to be having . they took her to a psychiatrist , she was admitted to a hospital n diagnosed w type 1 bipolar disorder n very quickly medicated . while the medication brought her out of her episode , n she was allowed to go home after her mood seemed to stabilize , blue also noticed it stunted her severely emotionally n decided ( against medical n parental advice [ pls dont do it fam !! take ur meds ] ) to quit her medication , falling into her first major depressive episode a few weeks afterwards . n for abt four years she’s been living w her disorder , n she doesn’t medicate at all . she’s super open abt her struggles n she has a Lot of them , specially w how much drugs n alcohol she consumes . i never said she was smart yall .

[ END OF TW ]

ok so as u probably assume , blue is an emotional mess . she has a very chaotic personality , n most of it isnt even from her illness or anything she just is a very chaotic person in general ? she is one of those artsy ppl who forgets to wash her own clothes so she ends up wearing the same dress for like , 3 days . she’s super outspoken n outgoing n rly easy at making friends if u can get past the dumbass energy she exudes 24/7 ? but yes just a very outgoing person n a outright mess most of the time . she is also soooo stubborn u will never get her to change her mind abt smth she believes to be right about in any way . u just cant . she loves a good time n loves partying n is the lack of impulse Queen soo if u got any bad ideas she is the one u should go for if u need any company . also .... so dramatic . she makes a big deal of everything n has 0 apologies abt that . just catch her crying over high school musical 3 or smth like that .

but yea on the bad side tho , blue takes up n gives up on projects so easily n she can be super fickle abt things in general . like , she will defend an idea for 7 hours but 2 days later she’s already onto smth else n doesnt even remember being so obsessive abt that other thing ? a mess . is also Quite abrasive ? if she thinks ur acting dumb shes not gonna be scared to call u out on it . can also have a Reaally explosive temper . not usually but specially during manic episodes she can be quite easy to annoy ngl . is very unreliable , especially if ur not too close .. tbh that is something connected to her disorder . when she’s on a manic episode , she will be too busy planning things she will never get around to doing or painting her entire house or spending 3 days awake n drunk writing 17 songs by herself . n during her depression is very hard to get her to do anything n even if she feels terrible , she rly cant be an available friend .

in regards to her sexuality , she’s an open bisexual and also is a crazy romantic n falls so hard for literally no reason . but like ... doesnt have the healthiest mentality for relationships ? not like in a toxic way but she will usually give 145% of herself at all times n honestly believes all of the ppl she falls for are the one (1) just wants to make things work no matter what . she’s v impulsive w/ meeting n falling for ppl tho so things dont rly end up working n she always ends up heartbroken over it . Well . At least she’s trying right ?

in regards to her career n art , she’s posted youtube covers n original songs for a couple years and gathered a decent following ? she wasnt huge or anything but she did get a record deal w an actual big label out of it a few months ago . blue was pretty happy abt it but then when the recording process started she realized they werent treating her as she thought she deserved at all ? which resulted on her taking her thoughts to some reps of the label n when she didn’t feel any difference in the way she was being treated she took it to the public ? which definitely caused quite a sitr bc she wasn’t a huge name but she was big enough ? so now she’s in some considerable trouble w her label but Also more famous than ever so they are choosing not to bury her for now ? she’s in some definite trouble though so it’ll be fun to see what happens next n what her moves will be ? spoiler alert : it’ll prob be smth dumb.

i still have so much to say but i’m so lazy wow . dont start ur intros so close to opening time folks thats my tip as an old internet auntie . OK SO ONTO SOME CONNECTIONS NOW

some label mates who she may or may not get along with ?

hookups !! she prob has a few she regrets too bc who doesnt am i right

best friends !! ppl who actually support her n she loves w no restrictions just love all around friends

exes </3 not gonna lie i have some sad ideas abt this one

good influence bc blue is a mess she needs one of those pls someone slap her head n make her drink some water

a fling she has feelings for but may not be requited ... i like my romantic connections to be angsty did yall notice

artistic soulmate !! someone her artistic bitch side just vibes with ? could be a songwriter or singer or anything tbh

some indecisive romantic shit where blue rly knows sh’s too messy n this person is too amazing ? but they still have feels so ... now what ?

this is p mcuh it ?? it has taken so long to finish this i hate myself but HEY if u like blue or dislike her u should hit me up so we can come up w some plot ideas ? i wish i had a quirky goodbye idea but my brain has just quit working guys so u get nothing from me other than a good old fashioned goodbye thanks for ur attention i love u

#cala.intro #sometimes i surprise even myself w how unorganized i can be #i am sorry this is so messy im trying to keep it on brand tm #also i cant believe i actually finished this

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lenjaminmacbuttons · 4 years

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Hope you’re doing okay, I know there’s been a lot going on the past couple weeks. 🌈🌈💛💛

FOOF YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN

thank you for the good vibes anon, i love you and it means a lot to me. however unfortunately now im gonna use this to vent dump exactly how much has been going on the past couple weeks off the top of my head. this is actually pretty far from Everything thats happen but im so tired and dont want to think about any of it anymore

my grandma passed away last week. we were prepared for it and we know she’s at peace in a better place et cetera et cetera, her body was all full of restraints & impediments that she doesnt have to deal with anymore and the next time she’s in a body it’ll be all New And Improved and awesome. i missed so much work in anticipation of this that now i can’t get work off on the day of the funeral, so i can still go to it but i’ll have to go immediately to work right from it and have to pretend everythings fine and dandy and nothings going on.

everyone at work Does know there’s something going on however and the two coworkers i have who are actually like i consider them friends mostly they’re all like Hey Im Here For You Talk About Your Feelings Honestly with me and i. dont. want. to talk about my feelings at work. thats not what work is for and i dont like talking about my feelings anyway and i dont want them to ask anymore

the changes to the handbook and the honor code have completely sunk my heart. i had so much hope up until those hideous ridiculous unfathomably transphobic things they wrote and now i don’t feel like i can trust or have hope in ANYTHING the institution does anymore. ive been up all night going back and forth over whether i want to go to church today. or ever again. it’s not bringing me joy. it’s making me feel anxious and depressed and frustrated and alone. i keep seeing people just on the street or on facebook who are so happy and content with the church and whatever it does and i just…i get struck every single time with this thought of “they don’t care about me. they don’t care about any of these problems. they’re not affected personally by it and so they don’t care.”

and then that makes me feel like such a hypocrite because!!! ive been them too for so long!! what makes this moment so different!!!!! why is this the straw that breaks the camel’s back when the camel should have thrown off the whole burden and run to join its friends at the first strike of the owner’s whip!!!!!!

plus it’s making me feel gross about my mormon memes blogs. idk if i can keep running those anymore.

im failing this semester anyway and i keep getting emails about it. i was planning to take a break from school After this semester but ive missed so much class that i just really can’t go back to any of them so i guess im just dropping out right now. as much as i’d love to participate in all the incredible amazing protests going on right now i really really cant be on campus at all without feeling literally physically ill. and my Hope was to do really well this last semester and then submit mission papers and that way i’d know exactly what next to do with my life until i decide what After, and id be able to Get Out somewhere and travel someplace while still feeling like my life has some semblance of structure and direction. however! HOWEVER!!!!!!!!

i’ve been feeling so, so horrible and so worn down and i dont even know where or what my testimony is anymore. but that’s probably a lot lower on the list of Why I Can’t Serve A Mission, because a. i still don’t trust my Local Bishop enough to talk to him about things The Handbook says to b. i am finding it harder and harder and harder to be perceived as female. i never really have dysphoria about my body or my presentation or anything but like, when people say Sister and Ma’am and Miss and Daughter and Hey Pretty Lady It’s Me Your Relief Society President it’s like…that’s not me. that feels gross. and i wear suits and ties to church, have done so for a while and never get any flak for it, and im gradually working up the nerve to maybe start introducing myself as lev or levi instead of lillie buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut. socially transitioning apparently is not allowed.

not to mention my temple recommend expired ages ago anyway. anxiety about bishops prevented me from ever going in for an interview to renew it. i haven’t visited the temple once since before graduating high school. but every time i see it or think about it i long for it so badly and it hurts so much.

and also like, i get that same kinda horrible regretful longing feeling whenever i hear violin music? because i played violin for a few years and then stopped but i still have the instrument because it was given to me by my grandmother. who played it herself until sickness wouldn’t let her anymore and she entrusted it to me and i Stopped Playing but then i hoped to pick it up enough to at least learn how to play her favorite song and aw wouldn’t that be so nice to play that for her on her violin except i never actually got around to printing out the sheet music or practicing At All. and now she’s gone.

and one of the last things she said to me was that she would love to hear my book since her eyesight was too gone to read it so i said i’d record it as soon as i got the right software/hardware to do that and then i never did that either. also i promised alla yalls that book would be Published Published coming up on four months ago now and i still haven’t done that

i took a pair of safety scissors to my forearms as mentioned in a previous post and surprise surprise, the lines have not healed still, it’s getting warmer outside and thus harder to wear long sleeves, and guess what! a while ago on a separate occasion i complained that i kinda wished my self harm scars looked more like the classic cutter lines and Now They Do!! And I Hate It!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and a couple nights ago my little sister saw them and so i told her i got attacked by a spider-pawed bear and fortunately my brother Understands and backed me up like “dang what do they teach in schools these days i cant believe youve never heard of the spider-pawed bears that live in the mountains and are totally normal and real”

and steven universe is ending. that’s a thing.

and like….okay. not everything in my emotions right now is bad. some of it is just complicated. one coworker friend i have recently confessed that she’s had a crush on me for several months now. fortunately when she said this i was able to be honest and say that im not super eager for a relationship right now, im not ready in the slightest to settle down or anything, im still hung up on my high school crush and also dealing with issues from my last relationship, and she replied that’s all perfectly fine and she doesn’t have any expectations and she’s great being friends and we can take things at whatever pace is good

except i also now have a date with said high school crush loosely planned for tomorrow and i told this coworker friend about it and she admitted it’s making her a little jealous and then she said jealous is an ugly word and amended it to Insecure and i feel bad about that

but i also like. am really excited for this date. like it’s not really a for sure romantic capital-d Date and that’s fine, but i haven’t seen this friend irl for so long and ive been missing her so much over this past little while that we’ve been internet chatting and that ive been i guess officially falling back in love with her but i also like, i dont know what her deal is romantically right now i don’t want to presume anything but i really really really am itching to see her

work is stressful. it’s only gonna get more so as weather gets warmer. but we’re getting two new managers with loads of experience and glowing reviews next week. i have hope that they’ll makes things a little lighter.

and there’s also. good things. peridot took off her visor for the first time ever in canon and i saved like 50 different gifs of it to my computer cus it rocked my world. sonic has she-ra toys for the kids meals and i managed to snag a tiny inflatable version of the sword. i’m making cosplays of the tres horny boys from the adventure zone and they’re all very exciting and making things makes me very very happy. i’m finding joy in all the fanfictions i’m writing right now and in talking about dungeons & dragons with my brothers and friends. ducknerva is a very beautiful Good Ending version of marahope which makes me happy and taako is a super effective projection outlet. i bought cupcakes today and they were delicious. and when i think about those good things, when i think about any good thing no matter how small, everything else disappears.

whatever happens happens i guess.

she who lives will see.

#talkyllama #hey if anyone needs tags on posts like these please please let me know asap #i always forget that actual people see the things i post #i dont usually trigger tag cus i dont usually think i need to but if i do i will

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ukulelecal · 5 years

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Biggest Fan pt. 4

In which you’re a famous singer and Calum is a fan of your music.

Warnings: maybe like one swear, but other than that not really

Pairing: Calum Hood x Reader

Requested By: Anonymous originally

“hi can you do a blurb on calum where you’re also famous and u find out he’s interested in you and low key loves your music? shebjdjsj idk jus make it fluffy and ill love u forever”

A/N: another obnoxiously long wait, another part!!!! finally!! we got some cute calum all up in this bitch YEESS im in love with him. sorry its short (well like not super short but shorter than part 3), i wasn’t sure what else could happen without making it extensive for just one part. but give me some feedback, tell me what you thought!! also, do you guys want more parts? i could probably end it here if yall are done with this, but i also have some ideas for some more things that could happen!!! aka i could kill yall with some cuteness!! or make you cry with some angst!! what do you guys think???

Requests are OPEN!

*Gif not mine*

Series Masterlist

Your head was pounding. Your stomach was churning. All the telltale signs of a hangover.

A groan fell from your lips, bringing your hand up to rub your eyes. After they adjusted to the light coming in from the windows, you glanced at the bed next to yours; Cara and Sam were still sleeping soundly. Your eyes then fell on the clock, squinting to see clearly. 12:34 PM. You hadn’t even realized you slept that late.

The occurrences of the previous night were one massive blur. You remembered getting ready to leave and meeting up with Calum and Mali, having a couple shots, but after that? Not much came back to you.

It wasn’t until you picked up your phone, seeing a text from Calum, that perhaps the most significant event of the night finally popped into your head.

You admitted your feelings to Calum. You kissed him.

You weren’t sure if you wanted to smile or punch yourself in the face.

Sure, you had been wanting something like that to happen. But, in a club and being totally wasted wasn’t exactly how you imagined it happening. You couldn’t really complain, though. He liked you back.

He liked you back.

Yeah, you had to smile.

You glanced down at your phone again, actually reading the text that Calum sent you.

Calum: I have to get back on the road later today. I really need to see you again before I go.

You bit your lip softly, typing out a reply.

Y/N: Definitely. Where should we meet up?

You set your phone back down on the nightstand to wait for a reply, and kicked the blankets off of you. Might as well start getting ready if you were going to meet up with Calum. You quietly padded to the bathroom, trying not to wake up Cara and Sam, and glanced in the mirror. Oh, yikes. You had managed to change out of your clothes before crashing in bed, apparently, but neglected to remove your makeup. Your eye makeup was smudged everywhere, and your lipstick was smeared a bit.

Well, that probably wasn’t entirely from sleeping.

You grabbed a makeup wipe and cleaned everything off, then thoroughly washed your face. From outside the bathroom, you heard your phone vibrate, and you quickly scurried out to check. There was another text from Calum.

Calum: You can come to my hotel, if that’s okay. I’ll take you back to yours on my way to the airport after.

Y/N: Sounds good, Cal

He proceeded to send you the name of the hotel and his room number, and you scurried over to your suitcase to get some clothes. You decided on something cute but casual, just for a meet up. A pair of mom jeans, and a simple white t-shirt tucked in.

As you went about your morning routine, you pondered exactly what you and Calum were going to talk about. The night before was inevitably going to come up, but that conversation could go in many different directions. You weren’t sure exactly how it would turn out.

Still, you meant every word you had said. You liked him a lot. Although your time together in person was limited, you texted and Skyped him a lot and got to know him very well. You fell for him from miles away.

After you finished getting ready, making yourself look as presentable as possible being quite hungover, you shook Cara and Sam awake, earning tired groans in response.

“You can go back to sleep if you want,” you chuckled. “Just wanted to let you know I’m going to go see Calum for a bit. I shouldn’t be too long.”

Cara grumbled something incoherent and buried her head deeper into the pillows. Rolling your eyes, you reached for the pad of paper and pen that hotels provided, and wrote out a quick note. Chances were, neither of them were going to remember a thing you said, if they even heard you at all.

You slipped on some shoes, grabbed your phone and room key, and headed out the door.

On the way down to the lobby, you put the address to Calum’s hotel into your phone to see how far it was. Turns out, it wasn’t far at all, only a couple blocks away. You decided against calling an Uber; you could walk.

You turned left out of your hotel and started your walk. It went by quickly and uneventfully, and you soon found yourself in the lobby of the hotel Calum was staying at. You headed towards the elevators and went up to the sixth floor, where he had said his room was. You then followed the signs to room 659.

Taking a deep breath, you gently rapped on the door. It opened a couple moments later to reveal Calum dressed in black joggers and a green hoodie with the word “empathy” printed across the front.

“Hey,” he said, a sleepy grin resting on his face. You could tell by the dark circles under his eyes and the disastrous state of his hair, that he was feeling the effects of a hangover as well.

“Hi,” you replied, and he stepped to the side to let you in. Letting the door fall shut behind you, he gestured to the bed, sheets wrinkled and messy from a night of sleep, for you to sit. You gingerly plopped yourself down on the edge, and Calum did the same next to you.

“So, um, have you seen the pictures?” Calum asked, scratching the back of his head as he turned to look at you, face slightly scrunched up. You furrowed your eyebrows at the question.

“What pictures?” You asked, confused. The only thing you had done on your phone was text Calum, not check social media. He sighed and grabbed his phone that was resting on his pile of pillows, and unlocked it; you didn’t want to be nosy, but you couldn’t help but notice that his lockscreen was a photo of his dog, Duke. He had shown you pictures of him when you were in Paris. You smiled a little. Hopefully you’d get to meet the little guy.

Then the familiar blue of Twitter appeared on his screen, and Calum used his thumb to scroll until he found what he was looking for. He clicked on a picture and handed you his phone to see.

Your heart dropped in your stomach a bit as you swiped through the many.

The pictures were all of you and Calum at the club. You were used to having your picture taken when you were just trying to do normal things or have fun, but these weren’t exactly the same. There were a couple of you and him dancing, but the majority were of you and him kissing.

It was those that made you slightly uncomfortable. Calum had you pinned against the wall, hands gripping your hips and your arms thrown around his neck, having a sloppy makeout session. That wasn’t the type of picture you wanted of yourself getting spread around the Internet.

“Oh,” you breathed out softly. Wordlessly, you handed Calum his phone back, gently taking your bottom lip between your teeth.

“I know,” he sighed, tossing the electronic back on the pillows. “I wish they would just leave us alone, you know?”

“Yeah.” It was normal for you to be scrolling through Twitter and suddenly find a picture of yourself walking down the street, getting into your car, having lunch with a friend. It definitely did get pretty annoying. “What are people saying about them?”

Calum sighed again, fiddling with the rings on his fingers.

“Similar things to what they said about the Paris pictures,” he began. “There were more of them that weren’t so nice, I guess.”

“Of course,” you grumbled under your breath, more to yourself rather than Calum. Another thing you were, unfortunately, used to was hate on the Internet. You had seen it all; jabs at your music, your appearance, your clothes, your personality. Most of the time, you tried not to even read it, ignore it the best you could, but curiosity got the best of you every once in a while. Nonetheless, you tried not to let it bother you. “What are we going to do, then?”

Calum hesitated before answering.

“I’m not sure what there is to do. Just don’t acknowledge it, I guess.”

You weren’t sure why you felt a wave of disappointment wash over you.

“And, about last night…” Calum continued, voice trailing off. Your eyes widened a bit.

This had been what you really wanted to talk about. You knew what you were hoping for him to say, but there was always the possibility that he could take it back. Tell you he was drunk and it didn’t mean anything. That you should just keep being friends.

“Did you mean what you said?” He asked, voice soft, and you could hear the slightest shake in his voice. A small smile graced your features.

“Of course I meant it,” you replied, just above a whisper. “I really do like you, a lot.”

Calum smiled, and your smile grew to match his.

“Did you?” You questioned, letting your head fall daintily to the side. Calum chuckled.

“Every word.”

He suddenly stood up, reaching his hand out. You gingerly grabbed it, letting him pull you to your feet and close to him. Looking up to meet his gaze, you found his brown eyes boring into you, and you felt your heart flutter.

Those damn eyes got you every time.

“I don’t think we had a very proper kiss last night,” he mused, running his thumb over your hands that were held between the two of you. “C-Can I kiss you again?”

Calum was mentally cursing himself for stuttering, but you were nodding and smiling fondly up at him, already starting to slowly lean in. He moved his hands to cup your cheeks, closing the distance between you.

This was more like the romantic first kiss you had imagined.

Your hands found his shoulders, letting them rest there.

Your heart was pounding. You were weak in the knees. You were wrapped around his finger.

He felt the same. Ever since he met you in Chicago, he knew you were special. It was a leap of faith for him to tweet you that day, so long ago, and he about died when you replied. He couldn’t be more glad.

The kiss eventually broke, and you stayed with your foreheads resting against each other, dazed smiles on both of your faces. Before either of you had the chance to say anything, Calum’s phone rang from where it sat on the bed. Of course, something had to ruin the moment.

He sighed heavily, mumbling out an apology before reaching for it.

After he hit decline to whoever was calling him, he tossed it down and reached for your hands again.

“I have to leave for my flight,” he sighed, almost sounding upset that he had to go. As much as you wanted to have more time with him, more than just these few minutes, you knew he had a tour to get back to.

“Okay,” you replied, giving his hands a light squeeze. “I can walk back to my hotel.”

“Are you sure? I can ask my driver to drop you off on the way.” You shook your head. “No, don’t worry about it. I’m only a couple blocks away.”

He nodded, pulling you in for a hug. You breathed out deeply as you wrapped your arms around his torso, taking in his scent. You knew it would be a while before you saw each other again, maybe not even until after he finished the North American leg of his tour, which was the last one.

You just didn’t want to leave him.

“Text me later, okay?” You mumbled into his chest, eyes unintentionally falling shut.

“Definitely.”

You pulled away from the hug, looking up at him with a grin.

“Bye, Calum.”

“Bye, Y/N.”

Hesitantly, you removed yourselves from each other grasps, and Calum walked you to the door.

Just as you stepped foot into the hallway, Calum grabbed your wrist and spun you around.

“One more,” he breathed out, pulling you in for another kiss. You melted into it. How was a simple kiss so heavenly?

“Now I’m good,” he chuckled when he pulled away, and you couldn’t help but laugh a little as well. You bid your final goodbyes, and before you knew it, you were on your way back to your hotel.

…

After you returned and relayed every single detail of what happened onto the finally awake Cara and Sam, you decided to spend the day relaxing by the pool.

You were laying out on your chair, catching some California sun, when the thought came to you; you and Calum for sure liked each other, but nothing ever became official. What were you?

You wanted to wait, didn’t want to seem desperate, but it was nagging you. Did shared feelings and a few kisses mean you were together? Official? Unofficial?

Letting out a deep breath, you reached for your phone, typing a simple, straightforward text out to Calum.

Y/N: Cal? What are we?

You weren’t expecting a reply right away, assuming he was probably on the plane, but much to your surprise, you got one just a few minutes later.

Calum: I mean, I kind of wanted to ask you this in person, but that depends on how you answer this question

The typing bubbles appeared, signalling he was still typing. You bit your lip as your heart pounded in your chest. The next text couldn’t come soon enough.

Calum: Would you like to be my girlfriend, Y/N?

And everything suddenly seemed like it fell into place.

Y/N: I would love to be your girlfriend, Calum. And I would love for you to be my boyfriend

Calum: You’re fucking adorable. I wish I was there to kiss you right now

You giggled a little, covering your mouth with your hand.

Y/N: Can’t wait until I see you again so we can do boyfriend-girlfriend things like kissing xo

Calum: Soon, just a few weeks left. I’m boarding now, I’ll call you later, ok?

Y/N: Ok. Have a safe flight!

His response was a few heart emojis, and you locked your phone. There was no way in hell you could wipe the smile off your face.

It was official. Boyfriend-girlfriend official.

“What’s got you smiling like that?” Cara asked, returning with Sam from the bar where they had been getting drinks. You giggled, covering your face with your hands.

“He asked me out,” you mumbled from behind your hands, earning excited squeals from your friends.

“Now we can like, go on double dates and stuff!”

You laughed at the comment from Sam, finally removing your hands from your face.

It was surreal, but it was happening. After he tweeted you never thought you’d end up dating. After Chicago, it was a thought in your mind. After Paris, you wanted it. Now, here you were.

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tenaciousarcadeexpert · 5 years

Text

Criminal Minds- The Good Ol’ Days

Tagging: @marvelfanlife, @itsmeedee, @cynbx, @jaqren, @gabriellewritermua, @princesswagger15, @screaminginbi, @tleighstone12, @cosmicmelaninflower

A collaboration fic with @princesswagger15.

After a long hiatus, the wait is over. Here is the new chapter

Chapter 8-Whodunnit?

The next morning has been quiet apart from the sounds of birds chirping. Normally there would be the sounds of students marching to their classes outside the dorms though surprisingly, there was not a single peep from outside. Emily and Elle woke up to the sounds of their phones buzzing.

“Did you just get a message too?”

“I-I did and it’s from…...Marissa?”

“Isn’t that Reid girlfriend?”

“Y-yea, wait why would she text us?”

“I don’t maybe she’s in trouble? Let me check the message.”

“Meet at Joe’s Burger Shack at 6:30 pm at the booth in the very back. Me and Reid got somethings to talk about with everyone.”

The two ladies looked at each other. “Her and Reid? And what makes her want to talk to us?”

“I don’t know how to feel about this.”

“Oh christ……………...you don't think he….?”

“I’m not sure…..I’m more concerned on what Marissa has to say.” “You think we can trust her?”

“I mean, I’m not really sure but she has help us and Reid out a few times, Like at Meadow’s party.”

“Yeah, maybe we should just hear her out before we make any rash decisions.” Elle nodded. “

“I wonder if everyone got the message yet?”

She shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know, maybe maybe not.”

“Uggghhh, well i guueess ill get ready for the day. See ya!”

A few minutes later, both Emily and Elle head to the meeting place, where they are suddenly joined by the rest of their circle of friends that are waiting for Reid and Marissa.

“I see you guys all got the message.” Emily quipped.

“Hey guys! Nice to see you, took you long enough.” Derek said.

“So……..what do you think Marissa has to share?” Ashley asked.

“That’s why we’re here to find out.”

The group gathered around at the booth, still awaiting Reid and Marissa’s arrival.

“I don’t about this.” Tara complained. “What if this is a trap?” “She’s right…...I mean she could just be using us here and rat us out to Barnes.” Luke adds.

“I’m sure Marissa wouldn’t do such a thing, she saved Reid and Matt’s girlfriend.” JJ responds.

“She could just be doing that to gain our trust.” Just then, Elle slaps Derek’s arm. “Look, I get that this unexpected message from Reid’s girlfriend is jarring but I’m pretty sure she wasn’t playing us when Kristy and Reid were in trouble.”

“Relax Greenaway, were just being a little wary considering that Marissa decided to bring us here for whatever reason and she’s not here yet.”

While the group is waiting, Matt looks over to Hotch, who has a cold expression on his face.

“You okay Hotch? You seemed quiet lately.”

“I-I’m alright.” “You sure? Cause your arm is shaking. Seems like you got something in mind.” He lowered his arm. “I-I made it clear that no one outside this group should know anything about this, and now one of us decides to tell them what’s going on just because she’s their girlfriend? Does Reid even know the consequences this might lead us to?”

“Look guys, im sure Reid and Marissa have nothing but good intentions, they wouldn’t betray us.” Ashley says.

“And how do you know, Seaver? We don’t know her personally like Reid does.”

“I know that if we trust Reid, and he trusts Marissa, we have nothing to worry about.”

Just then, the group looks to see Reid arrive, taking small steps as he approach his friends. “Hey guys, so I know I have some ex-

“What the hell is going on Reid?! We told you don’t tell anyone!” Hotch yells.

“I-I’m sorry Hotch, I know what I did was wrong, and I should have listened to you-”

“Well I don’t think you should be yelling at Reid but if you want me to leave then fine.”

The gang all looked up to see Marissa arrived not long after Reid. “Well do you guys want me to leave?”

They all looked at Hotch, whom he rubs his face and sighs. “Alright, let’s hear what you have to say.”

“Thank you. Well the day y'all saw your teacher’s class destroyed, i noticed Reid acting a bit weird so i asked what was wrong. Eventually i got him to tell me what's been happening and we started coming up with theories. We were thinking, this is a team.”

“Interesting……..so you’re saying that we’re dealing with two unsubs, is that right?”

“No, not two, more than that. I’d say somewhere between 7, maybe even 8.”

“Eight? I think you’re exaggerating a little bit.” Emily suggested.

“Oh really? On a scale of 1 to HOLY FUCKING SHIT, how bad was the classroom when yall walked in?”

“11, if that clears things up.”

“So if it was that bad, you think only one person could do that? It had to be at least 2 or 3 people.”

“You don’t need to tell us who it was, Garcia and I know who trashed the classroom.”

“Who?”

“It’s Kyle, Kyle Hodges.” Garcia blurts out.

“That son of a bitch! I told him if i EVER heard of him doing some fuck fucky shit, i’d fucking end him!”

“I’ve should’ve known when I chased him, that he was the one who wrecked that place.” Reid responds.

“But why would Kyle do this? What does he have to gain from it?” JJ asked.

“Someone probably promised him some type of reward.”

Hodges...that bastard….” Matt growled. “This crosses the fucking line to think that he has the nerve to pull some stunt like that.”

“But even if we confront him, how to we get proof? The guy is too cocky to tell the truth.” “Ashley’s right.” Hotch said. “He’ll just lie his way out.”

“Garcia, I hear that you’re hella good on a computer, you think you can somehow get into the school’s camera system? Maybe we can catch them in the act on camera.” Marissa suggests.

“Better…..I recorded his phone conversation and call history.”

“Damn girl, nice!”

“Cool, now all we need to do is find Kyle. We just need to know where he is. Any ideas?”

“I mean after the party I saw him and his buddies in the quad by the huge oak tree.” Elle suggested. “And he’s usually at the weight room to improve on his biceps and legs.” Derek adds.

“Let's go back to campus and search the gym first. We stay together, we don’t need to be splitting up at this time.” Marissa says standing up.

“You just got here for like six minutes and yet you’re already acting as if you’re the leader of us.” Tara scoffs.

“Sorry but what can i say, im very dominate. And i like to work fast and i'm assuming that if your teacher is still missing, we have to move quickly. Now if you all want to sit there like bumps on logs while we have a lead, then by all means do it. Look, i know you guys dont like me, you don’t trust me, but im in this with yall. For the good and the bad, now let's go!” The gang all looked at each other with confusion as they turn to Reid.

“You sure we can trust her?” JJ asked.

“Of course we can. I know her, if she really wanted to rat us out, she would’ve done it awhile ago. But I promise to remain cautious at ease.” The two nodded as they and the rest of the group follow Marissa back to the campus.

Just as the group and Marissa return to the campus, they see a group of students running towards the exits, Tara grabs one of the students and asks, “Hey, what’s going on? Why are you guys running?”

“Some incident happened at the bridge near the forest. I don’t know what it was but it ain’t pretty.”

“Should we check it out?” Asks Derek.

“Let’s follow them.” Emily responds as they follow the wave of people running towards the exits. By the time they reach the entrance of the woods, it was heavily crowded with people, prompting the team to squeeze through and bump any bystanders to see what was on the other side. As Matt pushed through the last of the crowd, he stopped dead in his tracks.

“Holy fucking hell.” He mummers.

“What is it Matt-oh shit.” Kate responds. The rest of the group emerge from the crowd and look down in shock and distraught as they see Kyle lying in the dirt naked with stab wounds in his stomach and chest.

“So much for finding him.” Emily groaned.

“Okay well we can only assume that either someone from his team did this to his or this is his way of suicide but i'll go with the first option.” Marissa said crossing her arms.

“Look, I know Kyle is an asshole and all but why would someone do such a cruel act to him?” Garcia complained.

“Because he knew too much.” Hotch replies.

“Is there any way you can maybe check in the office if he was there earlier today, or maybe around the campus with someone else the night you and Luke talked to him?” Marissa asked.

Garcia shook her head.

Just then, Barnes and Strauss emerge from the crowds as they witness the sight of Kyle’s corpse. Barnes gestures at the police as they surround the area.

“Alright students, show’s over. Go back to your dorms and classes.” The people in the crowd groan as several policemen guide them away from the scene. As they walk away, there were multiple instances of whispers and gossip on how Kyle died, what happened and who could it have done it.

The gang then gathered at the quad to try and gather all their thoughts. With Kyle gone, there’s was only more questions than answers.

“So…….what now?”

“Well Derek, with Kyle gone, we just lost our chance to ask him some important questions.”

“We lost the person, not the answer.” Marissa states.

“What do you mean, Marissa?” Ashley asked.

“Well i mean, if we go back to the night of Rossi’s class being trashed on the cctv’s system, we can possibly see the person walk in the class and if we catch his face we can probably run it through the students and staff’s pictures.”

“.................and how do you know all this?” JJ asked.

“Just using the environment to my advantage, and it would make the most sense to actually check all our resources?”

“I still can’t believe you just joined us today and somehow you know more about this than we do.” Elle thought. “Yeah, even moreso than Reid.” Luke adds.

“Hey!”

“Well how can you not learn some stuff from crime shows and this handsome bookworm?” Marissa said as she kissed Reid’s cheek.

“Ehehehehehehe.” “Anyway……..so Marissa, you were saying?” Hotch interupts her. “If what you were saying is true about the cctv, how can we get access to the footage?”

“Well if Garcia, aka this beautiful ball of sunshine, says she’s as good with computers as you say she she is, it should be a piece of cake for her to get in.”

“Awww.” She blushed. “She called me beautiful……………...and yes, I can get access into the cctv footage.”

“So Garcia, are you sure you want to do this?” Elle asked.

“Chillax hun, this isn’t my first rodeo. I got this.” She cracked her knuckles as she pulls out her laptop from her bag.

“Well this may take a while so i'm gonna go get something to e-”

“What is it Garcia?” Hotch asks.

“I’m in.” Hotch and the rest of the group gather around her as she looks up cctv footage from last night.

“Damn, that was hella fast! Nice job babe!” Marissa says hugging Garcia.

They all watch as Garcia rewinds the footage.

“Try going back to the night of Rossi’s room being trashed.” “Got it.” Just as she rewinds the footage, they took notice of an unknown stranger walking into Rossi’s classroom.

“Wait wait wait wait…” Emily stopped. “You mind zooming that in?”

“Sure thing my fine furry friend.” She zooms in on the footage, showing a stranger in a black hoodie and loose clothing.

“There’s no way that person could be Kyle.”

“Yeah, this person is way bigger than Fuckboi- i mean Kyle.” Marissa says.

“Who is this guy? I’ve never seen him before.”

“Maybe he could be a professor or a custodian?” Kate shrugged her shoulders.

“Better to be safe than sorry, does his face ever show to the camera Garcia?” Reid asks.

“Well, it’s hard to see from the lack of lighting in the classroom.”

“Try seeing if he looks up slightly and try to screenshot then brighten the image.” Tara joins in.

“Okay.” Garcia then zooms in, brightening and clearing the image up. “How’s that?”

“Try a liiittle more?”

“Uh………..okay.” She continues to clear the image up. “Sorry, that’s as far as I can go.”

“It’s fine sweetcheeks. Try to run the image through the campus student and staff database.” Derek says.

“Okay, though this may take a while……..”

“That’s fine, just do it.” Hotch says.

She then goes through the student and staff database, only to stop. “Or perhaps not.” “So?” She turns to the gang. “..................No match.”

“Damn, well there goes that damn theory.” Marissa says disappointed.

Garcia closes her laptop. “So……………..what now?”

“Well is there anyone else acting strange around campus or anywhere you guys can remember?”

They all looked at each other, shaking their heads.

“Acting cruel to others or you? Anything guys?”

“No.” They all shook their heads.

“Well, then we’re all screwed.” ----------------------------------------------------------------------

Elsewhere, Rossi was in his cabin when he heard someone knocking at his door. He then walked up to see three familiar strangers outside. “Nice to see you again David.”

“Phillip, Mark, Kiera. You don’t know how glad I am to see you guys again.”

“Well, we’re always here to help.” Rossi took a step back, allowing the three agents to enter his cabin before closing the door behind them. “Though I wish this was under better circumstances.”

They all sat in the dining room.

“Can I get you guys something?” “Uh no thanks, we’re good.” “Okay.” He sat down. “First…..any leads on Gideon’s case?” “Sadly nothing yet, but we’re still looking.” Kiera responds.

“Oh okay, just let me know if there’s any update.” He rubs his palms. “I just don’t get how this could all happen. Besides, there’s no way his death could be ruled as a suicide. Something seems a bit off here.” The three agents were silent as they stare at their old friend.

“What? Was is it?” “When was the last time you kept in touch with your students back in Quantico University?”

“I-I don’t know. Maybe around a week.”

“Oh……..” “What is it Phil?” “W-well, let’s just say that it was no coincidence that we were brought here not long after you called us.”

“What? What do you mean?”

Kiera took a deep breath. “T-there was an incident up by the woodlands near the campus. A student has been murdered.”

“Oh my god, don’t tell me it was one of my kids! I can’t handle that again!”

“It was this student.” Mark pulls out a photo of a teen and another showing his corpse, sliding them towards Rossi. “Kyle Hodges, the M.E identified his body, police reported that he was found by two girls who where just hiking when they came across his body. Do you recognize him?”

Rossi compared and analyze the two photos before placing them down.

“No i don't know him. But did anyone find anything else? Are my students okay?!”

“Your students are okay. So far, Hodges is the only confirmed death. Our biggest concern is finding who killed him.”

“Any leads?” They shook their heads. “No, but we did find a connection between Gideon and Kyle’s death.” “And what’s that?” Philip then hands him autopsies and photos of Gideon and Kyle, comparing the two different photos.

“We were surprised to not notice it until now but if you look closely, both were found with a small symbol carved on their stomachs.”

Rossi eyes’ widen as he recognized the carvings found on the photos.

“Dave, you recognized them?” “I’ve seen this before.”

“Where? On a previous case or something?”

“Yeah…...it was a case I worked on a few years ago, where I caught…….The Replicator.”

“Woah woah woah! You mean THE Replicator?”

“Yes….unfortunately.”

“Oh god, this is worst than we all thought!”

Rossi then slammed his fist on the table. “M-my students, I need to warn them. If this is what I think it is, then we could be looking back at a repeat of the massacre of 90-Oh god.”

“Hey, don’t think like that, we won’t let anything like that happen ever again.”

“I know I know. It’s just……...my journal, everything I know about what happened is in that journal. If it gets into the wrong hands……”

“I know Rossi, we know. We are all trying our best, so don’t beat yourself up over it. Everything will be fine.”

“Let’s hope so, cause things are getting worse than ever.”

Just then, they heard the sound of the phone ringing. Curious, Rossi then got up from his seat and grabs the phone, pressing the button.

“Hello?”

“Hey Rossi! Um, uhhh it’s Emily. I was wondering if you could meet us in the quad back at campus, we have a few things to catch you up on.”

“Uh sure uh…...how did you get my number?”

“Ummmmmm………………. That’s not important, we just need you in the quad.”

“Yea, sure, I’ll be there soon.” He then hangs up as he looks at his friends.

“What’s going on Rossi? What happened, is something wrong?”

“Umm yeah, one of my students just called and said they needed to meet them at the campus.”

“Why would they ask to meet with you all of a sudden?”

“I don’t know, maybe they found out something? Maybe a lead?”

“You think your students can be trusted? We don’t know if this could lead to a repeat of ‘90.”

“Look, you said it yourself, everything will be fine right? And don’t worry, i know these children can handle it. Plus they got me, and we have you guys to help us.”

The three agents glanced at each other before shifting their focus back to Rossi. “Of course, we’ll do whatever we can to help, even if it means crossing bureaucratic lines.”

“I understand.” He then grabs his jacket. “Thank you, though.” He grabs his keys and phone before heading out.

“Think he’ll be alright?” Mark asks Philip, who gives him a reassuring look.

“It’s Rossi, he knows what he’s doing.”

-------------------------------------------------------

A few minutes later while Rossi is walking through the grass covered quad, he sees his team conversing among themselves. Most likely trying to come up with some theories. Once he’s walks a little closer, his heart drops as he sees an unfamiliar face talking with them as well.

Garcia looks up to see Rossi standing in the distance, smiling with glee. “Rossi!” The team looked back to see their professor, charging towards them, and embracing him.

“Oh professor, it’s so good to see you again, we’ve missed you so much. So much has happened since you left.”

“I know.” He said as he hugs his students one by one, making his way towards the table.

“Uhhhhh……………… Garcia, who the fuck is that at the table with the group? Please tell me she’s only a friend, please tell you guys didn’t tell her ANYTHING?”

“Uh yeah, about that……..” Marissa stood up and holds out her hand. “Hi, I’m Marissa, Reid’s girlfriend.”

“Hi, I’m David Rossi.” The two shake hands as he looks over to Reid.

“Would you mind leaving for a bit? I’m here to have a conversation with my students privately.”

Marissa glares at him. “Uh, I’m sorry, but why should I?”

“Because this conversation doesn’t involve you, so please leave.”

She chuckled amusingly. “No offense professor, but I’m pretty sure it does involve me.”

“Oh really? Why does it?”

She shrugs her shoulders. “Because I know everything, about your classroom, about what’s been going on, Gideon’s death, everything. And i am sorry for your loss by the way, he way a good man, at least from what i hear.”

“Really? Who told you?”

Marissa then looks at the team who’s standing behind her. As they all look at both her and Rossi eyes widen , they all point to Reid who’s standing in back.

“Reid……”

“Y-y-yes Pro-Professor?” He nervously asked as Rossi walks up to him.

“Didn’t I make it clear that no one outside out group knows about the situation?”

“Yeeeessss………………. I'm so sorry sir but I really trust her. She’s a good person okay, I know she is!”

“I know I know. I’m not saying that she is a bad person, my concern is that she might not understand what we’re going through and she might end up notifying Barnes or the authorities without our consent.”

“Professor, i know what your concerns are, and if this is as bad as you guys are saying that it is, i will not tell ANYONE what’s going on, i won’t do anything drastic like that without you guys’ consent. I swear it on my very soul sir, i won’t do it. Just let me help you all out.”

Rossi considers her offer to him and his students, he thinks about saying yes, but not without analyzing her behavior. She’s not bouncing or fidgeting, nothing that indicates that she lying about anything. She just looks hopeful, hoping that he says yes to her.

“Okay, I trust you.”

“Yay!” She gleefully cheers as she jumps up and down she says, “I won’t guys down!I won't let you down i swear!”

“I know you won’t………….which is why Emily and Tara will keep a close eye on you.”

“Of course! Of course, i totally understand!”

“Good, anyway………..what did you guys bring me here for?”

“Oh right! Something happened to your classroom while you were gone.” JJ said while looking at Rossi with sadness.

“What do you mean?” “I uh, think it’s best if we show you.”

As the students all gather their things, and start walking towards his classroom, Rossi starts to get more and more worried with each step he took. What happened to his class? Why would someone do this? Why would anyone want to do this to him? As they get closer to the room, a thought crossed his mind. ‘I hope no one found my journal…’

Ashley suddenly she slightly pulls on Rossi’s sleeve and he looks at her when she says, “Rossi, it’s not pretty in there, so what you’re about to see will be pretty shocking.”

“I’ve seen worse, I’m sure this won’t be the worst thing I’ve seen in these past few years.” He took a deep breath and opened the doors.

As Rossi sees what’s happened to his room, he feels so many emotions brewing inside him. Sadness, shock, anger, disgust, and worry. For himself and his students. As he looks at his desk flipped on it’s side and papers and desk lying around everywhere, he sees just how personal this attack is. He knows now that whoever this is has got it out for him in the worst way. As the tears swell up in his eyes, he feels his students gather closer to him and touch his arm trying to comfort him.

“Are you okay professor?”

“Y-yeah, i-i just………….. Who would do this? And why? What did i ever do?”

“That’s what we’re here to find out.” Hotch then pats his professor on the back. “Don’t worry professor, we’ll help you find whoever is going after you. We’ll do whatever we can to stop them from hurting anyone else, and we promise to help rebuild your classroom..”

“Thank you guys, you are all extraordinary students, and i'll be here from now on to help you catch these sons of bitches.”

The rest of the team all nodded as they gather around their professor into a big hug. Little did they notice a tall stranger observing them behind the window outside.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Elsewhere, Barnes and Strauss were at the Dean’s office, pondering over what to do with multiple incidents happening at the college.

“Man, these last few months have been a handful, I mean, the campus has been going nuts lately.”

“What are we gonna do?” Barnes complained. “We thought that we got this under control but apparently, things just get worse and worse.”

“Yeah i know, I mean between Hodges’s death, Rossi’s classroom being destroyed and everything else, what’s gonna happen to the college? What if they shut us down?”

Barnes slams her hands on Strauss’s desk. “They won’t….W-we just need to find a way to resolve this matter.”

“But how Barnes? We have no clues on who could’ve done this? We don’t have suspects! What are we gonna do!?”

“W-we’ll figure it out….I-I just need to think of some way to get some information out of some students. Maybe we can find something in Rossi’s classroom or anywhere in the campus?”

Strauss tilt her head. “You don’t think he had anything to do with this, do you?”

“I mean probably not but better safe than sorry right?” She felt Strauss touch her hand. “Linda, look, I get it. I am as desperate as you are in trying to protect the students and staff on this campus, but we can’t be too rash on this. Otherwise, more people will get hurt.”

“Yeah, I get it, I understand. I’m sorry, i guess i get a bit carried away sometimes.”

“We all do……..” She paused. “How about you get some rest, we got a long day ahead of us tomorrow.”

“Alright, same to you, go take a rest.”

She then grabs her bag and coat before closing the door behind her.

----------------------------------------------------

Near the forest, Meadows was standing next a tree waiting for someone. As she wanders around by the trees, she was startled by the sounds of footsteps approaching her.

“Who’s there?” She shouts. Just then, she sees a person in a red hoodie approaching her, prompting her to sigh in relief.

“Oh, it’s you.” She sighs. “For a second, I thought you were someone else.”

“Why would i be someone else? You and me are the only ones that are supposed to meet…. Right?”

“That is correct.” “Did you make sure that there was no one following you?”

“I made sure of it.”

“Cool, so, show me what you got.”

The person opens her backpack, pulling out a small journal and handing it to Meadows.

“Nice, I’m impressed. I didn’t think you’d be able to pull off.”

“Oh Mary, you’d be surprise to know what I’m capable of. Besides, I couldn’t have done it without the help from you.”

“Yeah sure, well we should start looking through this.”

“Yeah we should.” The two go through the journal, smiling at some of the pages. “Your friends don’t know about this, do they?”

“Like hell they do."

“Good, that's the last thing we need right now.”

#emily prentiss #elle greenaway #penelope garcia #spencer reid #aaron hotchner #derek morgan #luke alvez #kate callahan #jennifer jareau #tara lewis #matt simmons #ashley seaver #david rossi #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds au #the good ol days

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thoughtfulpaperback · 5 years

Text

Rant...on depression and toxic relationships

Ok so no one said anything or did anything in particular that made me want to rant, rather this is something that's been on my mind for a while and I sort of needed to vent especially after these last crappy 3 years.

So just a lot of background in 2017 my younger brother died in an accident. Everyone handles grief differently, I didn't handle mine at all. I arranged his funeral and picked his headstone and casket, I finished my last semester of college and got my degree, and helped start a scholarship in his memory, I became the speaker and awarder of another scholarship in his memory started by a non-profit, I started some masters classes over the summer online, got ready to move from a small rural idahoan town to Portland, Oregon, and supported my siblings as they grieved. My mom and grandparents (paternal) took it the hardest and I made sure I was there for them as much as possible.

Once I moved aand started school, while i loved the independence i had and I fell in love with the city, I struggled hard. It started off great and I was doing so well the first semester, then I was having trouble sleeping. I was staying up later and later until it got to the point were I wasnt sleeping at all. I would get the urge to pace around and do quick strides across the room and then hop back in bed. Then I lost my appetite, just wasnt hungry, then i lost my ability to tell when i was full or not. I wasnt hungry but i knew i had to eat so i would eat but just keep eating until i realized that i probably should stop after eating an entire pizza by myself or a whole Costco cheesecake (what the hell I wasnt even hungry?!?!). Then I started having anxiety problems, i would try to read for class or right a paper and my mind couldnt focus or think I couldnt write or remember the sentence I just reread four times. I'd get so angry and upset with myself that I would stay to throw up. And I couldn't stop. It got so bad that so much as looking at a book or opening my laptop would have me running to the bathroom. That's when I started isolating myself from the friend as i made there. I couldnt go out because I need to do school work (which never got done) and I would just spend the day crying in front of my laptop frustrated with myself and vomiting non stop. Then I became apathetic. I went from this organized strong focused lady who could finish college plan a funeral and make time to talk and care for her family and brother's grieving friends, to this lonely pathetic sick crybaby who didnt even want to talk on the phone with her grandma (how I saw myself at the time). I didnt want to go to class which I was loving at first. Then I actually started missing classes because I couldnt even get out of bed. But I wanted to I would spend hour in bed internally yelling at myself to get up, but it felt like the rest of me didnt want to listen and I started to hate myself for it. Then the suicidal ideations began. It was so subtle and harmless at first. I didnt want to talk to people but staying at home wasnt enough because they can come find me or call or whatever. But no one can interrupts you in the shower. So I started taking long showers. It was only once a day. Then it became twice a day. Then three. Showers turned into baths(which I hated as a until then) and pretty soon I was spending the whole day in the bathroom thinking about how much I just wanted to disappear. Just wanting to be left alone in the tub and never come out again. I didnt it think it was bad, but when I told my friend (who was seriously concerned at my avoidance of her and missing classes) she did think it was bad. I started going to a counselor and eventually started taking medication for sleep and depression (which was later switched to medication for PTSD). I finished the year and did well thanks to the support of my cohort and professors. Then my cousin died and I came back home to take care of my family. I took the year off. And in this year my aunt died, another cousin and this three sons were in a terrible accident which killed three of them and left one with permanent brain damage, and my mother left.

My mother leaving is kind of a big one because this isnt the first time. I just want to say that I love my mother and she has never physically or verbally abused me. But she is toxic as hell. She never grew up. Eloped at 18 to get out of an abusive household, had me at 19 and then my brother at 20, then my father died, she took care of us with the help of my grandparents for a while, then she took off for California with some guy and left me and my brother until her parents made her come back. Then she had my other brother. She was good for a couple of years and then had an affair and took off with some one for a couple of months, she came back. Then she had my sister, miscarried 2 times, and eventually had my baby brother (now 7). And she was mostly doing good, of course I was a co-parent, i took thier schooling and safety more seriously than my mom. If it wasnt for my grandparents, my brother and I wouldnt have had childhoods. He was my partner co-parent, but at my dads parents he was just my brother and best friend. My mom loves us but she is selfish. So I always tried to be selfless, but I also tried to give her the benefit of the doubt because she always comes back. She never apologizes or acknowledges what she had done she just comes back. It never bothered me before I just thought "well this is how she is and I mean she loves me and comes back, she isnt abusive so I cant complain".

Well she left in March and while my other brother and I had been through this and were just kind of indifferent to it. My sister was devastated and my little brother and his routine were messed up. My step dad was an angry mess and so I took care of them all and tried to be the adult (I mean I am an adult right?). I informed him of his rights and options such as divorce. He said he wanted to and I said I could help him with the papers. But I mean I figured she'd come back and i told my sister this over and over again. But honestly i was starting to become less indifferent as I watched what this was doing to her 16yr old psyche and how much it was hurting my brother especially because he didnt seem to understand what was going on.

She came back the beginning of this month after two weeks of coming back to the home to try to take her stuff, fighting with my stepdad, trying to take my little brother (not my sister which also hurt her feelings) and then stealing money from my brother.

And the thing is yall, I was ready and willing to just accept that and just do what we always do and pretend that it didnt happen even though for the first time (I was angry about it because of how much my siblings were hurting). But the thing is, my mother wont talk to me or look me in the eye. She came back and I tried to say high and give her a hug and she just avoided me. Which I was like ok fine you are in a mood let me know when that is over. Then my brother got into an accident (not fatal or serious thank God). She could have called me to let me know, to asked me to pick up the kids, to let me calmly inform them. She did not. She called my sister in a panic to tell her that my brother was in a bad accident (it wasn't) and they were looking for him and for her to find a ride home with a friend. This of course sent my sister into a panic attack she didnt know what to do or even if anyone had picked up our little brother. So she did what all of my siblings do when they are scared, in danger, or completely unaware of what they should do: She called me.

I calmed her down I told her to get on the bus and I'd stay on the phone with her. I had my grandma call the police department to see if they knew of the accident and could give information that would help me locate my brother (they couldnt) and had her call the school to see if anyone had picked up my brother (my stepdad had). I stayed on the phone with her as my grandpa drove me to the house to go get her because I didnt want her to be alone.

When I got there my mom and step dad had just arrived with my brother's (my brother had a panic attack at the wheel and went off the road into a field. No one was harmed but the policeman on duty saw it and my brother was taken to the nearest hospital because he hadn't calmed down and was having trouble breathing (he also has asthma). I get there check on him and my other siblings, we have a group hug (corny, but after losing our brother in a car accident previosly, we all were freaked and needed one). And my stepdad came up to me and thanked me for coming down to check on everyone. My mom rushed inside. I followed and she started putting pot and pans on the stove and didnt look at me. I said hi. She didn't turn around but said hey. I started to tell her what she should have my brother take for his nerves (old wives tale stuff but like in my mind it works so I am going to suggest it ok). Never looks at me. Or acknowledges what I am saying. Some I tell my stepdad. Look my siblings over one last time and head back to my grandparents house. On the way back I realize that she had no intention of calling me. She thought my brother had been in a bad accident, and she was not going to call me. I am the one who had to come tell her about my brother passing away. I left my grandparents crying and screaming (calling a bunch of people to go over there and be with them of course) to tell my mom about it before she heard it somewhere else. And she wasnt going to tell me that my brother was possibly hurt or worse. She rather let my teenage sister panic and try to find a way home by herself than to call me.

That hurt, but I was willing to let that go. I never speak ill of my mom to my siblings or to anyone in general. After everything I still couldnt because she is my mom and she came back and I know she loves me.

The she had my sister call me a couple of days ago to tell me she was dropping of my brother because he didnt have school and she was going to a job interview. Didnt tell me how long I'd be watching him (I asked and my sister said she didnt know). So I just figured I'd ask my mom when she dropped him off. I was waiting at the door for him and she practically made him tuck and role out of the car. She never got out never looked at me and my poor baby didnt have his shoes on the right feet or tied. I Had plans, canceled them because I didnt know how long he'd be staying (wasnt long). And she had my sister call (while she was in school) to tell me that she was outside when she came to pick him up. My brother was upset because he (while she was gone) became accustomed to being dropped off and left with me the whole day or weekend. So it was a fight to get his shoes on and him out the door. Again never looked me. I smiled and waved tried to get her attention. Nope. She didn't even get out of the car to open the door for him. He managed to get it just as I was about to go over and help.

I texted her happy mother's day. Nothing. I tried calling her to say it. No answer. Called my siblings to have them tell her I said it in case she didnt see the text. Nada.

I dont know what I did. What I do know is that I dont deserve to be treated this way. I never did. And that is actually super hard to admit because when we think of abusive and toxic, I wouldnt immediately think of my mother because even though she does things that hurt us, refuses to acknowledge it, expects us to take care of her and respect her time when she doesnt have any consideration for our time and property, she is my mother who loves me. She is the same mother who took us to pizza hut on Saturdays, to the pool and water park during the summer, who bought us Christmas presents, and who we have had good times with.

But she is toxic. she is emotionally manipulative and inconsiderate. I've made excuses and even blamed myself. Maybe I wasn't trying to communicated enough, maybe I made her feel unloved, maybe I am being sensitive since my history with depression and all that stuff. Maybe I am just misreading. Because it has to me, because she loves me so I must be at fault if she isnt talking to me.

But honestly, I am tired of blaming me. I am tired of being the adult in this relationship. I already have my personal issues. My future is pretty unclear as I try to decide if I want to go back to school (my grandparents are pressuring me just to get a job and stick around idaho), or if I still even want my Master's or If I want to do something else completely. Except for when I am watching TV or with my siblings and dog I am pretty much unhappy and confused all the time.

This year was supposed to be about self-care and healing. Not drama. I am just done.

I dont know what to expect into the coming year (in academic years not the year beginning in January) but I am done with self hate and I am done with toxic relationships. I probably cant take another year off without at least finding a job. But I don't think I am ready to go back to school (I miss it so much though), this break has felt more like work even with the fun tumblr convos.

Honestly thanks to the Charmed and Fallen Hero Fandoms because without y'all I dont know how I would have made it through all this. Also thank God for Hacy fanfiction because I needed good reading material in hospital waiting rooms, and in my moments alone to keep me from over contemplating on people who dont deserve it.

#depression #toxic relatives #toxic people #suicidal ideations

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unicyclehippo · 6 years

Note

can you write something about dina and ellie and that ring you talked about??

howie comes with her when she appears at their door, not even questioning the slight jerk of her head. there’s depth enough, darkness enough in that still gaze for them to know that questions aren’t what is needed right now.

well. one question, maybe.

‘got a hair tie?’ howie asks when they’re settled high at the top of the watchtower, feet kicked out to hang over the lip of the roof.

ellie snaps one off her wrist, one of those heavy duty ones she keeps specifically for howie, and they gather their thick, curling hair back into their best attempt at a bun and tug the band over it. a moment then,

‘awesome. that feels like it’s gonna hold. feel like a sip of ol’ jackson’s finest alcohol?’ they offer. tap a blue-painted nail against the murky brown glass bottle.

that’s technically two questions now.

‘if you offer me that blackwater shit—how’d i know?’ ellie sighs, but she still takes the bottle from them and opens with a slurping pop of the ill-fitting cork. ‘ugh. smells like…vinegar.’

‘yeah. gets you drunk though.’

‘it had better,’ ellie mutters and she takes a swig, gasping when the oddly hot liquid hits her tongue. swallows. rasps, ‘oh wow. tastes worse than it smells.’

‘and that, folks, is a preview to the incredible wine tasting review our very own ellie will be publishing in the jackson weekly,’ howie says in an announcers spiel, their voice smooth and rich right up until they take a swig from the bottle and they gag. ‘god, that is really foul.’

‘yup.’

‘…want some more?’

‘yup.’

they trade the bottle between them for some time, but cap it before the faint haze that falls over them can progress much further. it sits, weighty and warm on their tongues, tastes foully at the back of their mouths, and trying to put sense and order to the jumbling, all-important thoughts that come drunkenly to the fore of their minds feels a lot like catching frogs—slick and lurching and altogether not hugely successful.

howie manages first, wrangles a hefty one and presents it to ellie like a consolation prize. ‘bad night?’

ellie mulls it over. gives basically nothing back with a blank, ‘nah.’ they would complain about it but then she gives them the kind of frog that turns into a prince, with a little effort. she says, ‘couldn’t sleep. i’ve been thinking about proposing to dina.’

howie blinks. reaches behind their back to where they had set the bottle, nestled into the somewhat wonky tiles of the roof. they drink, and put it back. ‘holy shit,’ howie says. ‘really?’

‘what? you think it’s a bad idea?’

‘no, i don’t—‘

‘you can’t think it’s a bad idea, howie, i’m—‘

‘i never said it was bad,’

‘because i love her an’, an’ she’s all i want in my life,’

‘and me.’

‘and you, of course,’ ellie agrees, slinging an arm around their waist. she pulls in a deep breath, and howie copies her; the stars spin over their head and they breathe more deeply, feeling their chest expand, feeling the rush of a star-struck night fill them.

‘i wanna marry her,’ ellie says, the stars and howie as witness.

‘then you gotta do it!’

‘but you said,’

‘i said holy shit,’ howie tells her. they’re pretty sure that’s what they’d said—it sounds like what they’d say to something like that. they grip her tight, sling a hand up to pat her smile-creased cheek, to settle on her far shoulder and they give her a gentle shake, the boisterous love in their heart and hands too much to keep back. ‘i think it’s great!’

‘you do?’ ellie asks them, voice gentle and more vulnerable than she usually allows herself to be.

it’s so much, what howie sees in her—love constant and strong and fierce as the river that courses far below them, warm like fire, growing always growing like the earth, the trees, as endless as the sky—and they know, they know it’s their thoughts growing unprompted from their drinks but they’ve seen it with their own eyes, seen ellie leap—roaring—into the heart of a fray for dina. seen her cry, and kiss her, and laugh more than ever, and that kinda love…

howie settles, curls their hand over her shoulder to offer a place of stillness. if they feel dizzy at the thought of it, god knows ellie must be tripping always. they blink slowly at her and feel a warmth of an entirely different kind to the stomach-strip heat of bad alcohol settling over their skin, making them shiver and smile wide, wider than is uncomfortable.

‘why—why are you looking at me like that?’

‘i’m just,’ howie reaches a shaky hand up, swipes at their cheek, at the tears there. ‘wow, i’m so fucking happy.’

‘you’re grimacing,’

‘this is a smile, you jackass,’

ellie squints at them, clearly unimpressed. ‘it looks painful,’ she says doubtfully.

‘why do i put up with you?’ howie demands, and they fist the back of ellie’s shirt and twist their body toward her, pulling her into a great hug that ellie sinks fiercely into, returns it just as tightly. ‘i get to be your right hand, yeah?’ they ask after some time and ellie smiles into their shoulder, hugs a little more tightly.

‘yeah.’

‘fuckin’ A, ‘cause i’ve got plans.’

they climb down from the watchtower roof early in the morning and take the seat beneath the sprawling oak, laugh about how lucky they are it hasn’t been claimed. forgetting that all reasonable folk are asleep.

howie casts their legs over ellie’s lap, curl their arm in under her thick and warm jacket.

they talk some more—mostly drunk nonsense, though howie commands their brain to remember the way ellie describes dina’s face because they very much intend to tease her thoroughly about it later, or else recite it at the wedding—before falling asleep.

howie dreams hazily, a collage of orange-red faces and summer-yellow leaves and red red red.

‘did you two sleep here all night?’

‘shh,’ ellie whispers. whimpers, almost.

howie laughs, clutches their head. ‘oh that’s strong,’ they groan. ‘i didn’t know it’d be that strong.’

‘you two count yourselves lucky i’m not making you go to the clinic. cleaning out bedpans would sort y’out,’ perry says, definitely louder and doing nothing to soften the strident edge to her voice. ‘as it is,’ she continues, and howie turns their head into ellie’s shoulder so they don’t laugh at perry’s obvious soft spot for ellie, ‘they’re just about set up for breakfast. a cup’ll put you both to rights.’

‘yes, perry,’ howie says sweetly, as ellie chimes in with a, ‘right away, perry.’

‘you’re very stupid sleeping out in the open like this,’ she tells them, and they agree with her again, and when howie finally opens their eyes it’s to the sight of perry marching swiftly away.

‘she likes to be right, that woman,’ ellie tells howie, the fondness in her words only stopping where it butts up against the strain of speaking at all.

‘you look like shit.’

ellie groans. ‘your fault.’

‘guilty. god,’ howie scrapes a hand over their head, feels a tiny rush of delight that their hair tie hasn’t snapped. ‘glad dina isn’t here.’

‘uh, yeah,’ ellie agrees so forcefully she almost pukes.

‘not because of any of that,’ howie waves her off. ‘because she never gets a fucking hangover. actually,’

‘do not give my girl that trash.’

‘noted.’ howie stands slowly, groaning like they’ve heard joel and tommy do after sitting for too long, and they put their hands on their back and stretch until their spine pops with a series of satisfying cracks. ‘coffee.’

‘coffee,’ ellie agrees. holds a lazy hand out for them to haul her up to her feet.

‘does she even prescribe to the idea of marriage?’ ellie asks them later, hands curled around a mug of steaming coffee, feet kicked up onto the railing that encircles the porch. the sun reaches golden fingers up over their sky. ‘maybe she doesn’t. the whole thing is a bit insane in an apocalypse.’

‘is it still one?’ howie rocks back in their chair. ‘i figure we are well into post-apoc. surviving now with the after effects, y’know.’

‘does it look like i care about details like that?’

howie slowly shifts their gaze to ellie, not wanting to strain pained eyes. ‘no,’ they say a moment later, seeing how unimpressed she looks. and, though they would never mention it without an audience for her to get teased in front of, she looks like shit.

maybe they won’t mention it at all. after all, they don’t feel their best either.

‘definitely, you do not appear to care about details like that.’

‘no. that’s right.’

‘still, why wouldn’t she want to get married?’

‘some people don’t. it’s just a word. literally a piece of paper tommy writes YALL WEDDED on and you stick it in a drawer.’

‘he’s almost legible now,’ howie agrees fondly.

ellie laughs, clinks her mug to theirs in a silent cheers.

they drink and slowly feel themselves come awake, alive, more put together.

‘you want to, though?’ howie asks, careful to keep their words quiet and discreet in case some of the wandering breakfast folk are in a mind to eavesdrop.

‘yep. got a ring and everything.’ she pulls her other hand from her pocket—howie realising then that it had been tucked away there for some time—and they catch a very brief glimpse of a gold band before she slips her hand away again.

‘wanna sound more excited about it?’

‘nope,’ ellie says with a forced laugh. her eyes are dark and wide and howie figures she probably doesn’t want to want it as much as she does.

she has a terrible habit of assuming she won’t get the things she wants.

‘only thing for it is to ask her,’ howie tells her after a long while and they take her mug in for a refill. they settle next to her on a slightly too small for two seat, lean in to her shoulder. their hair tie snaps and flings out somewhere into the garden at the pressure. ‘fuck! anyway,’ they slide the mug back into her hand, pleased to note there’s warmth and colour in her fingertips. ‘she loves you, ellie. you should ask.’

#tlou #tlou 2 #ellie x dina #video gays #prompt fill

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moldypieceoflasagna · 6 years

Text

36 questions that nobody asked me

(except @lollipoppedchainsaw )

(the 36 questions that lead to love or whatever) https://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

I hate going out to dinner so much i probably wouldnt be able to enjoy it properly

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

It would be interesting to see what it’s like for a short period of time, but i’d never be able to keep it up; i’d probably have an identity crisis

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

yes i have to mentally prepare myself 100% of the time

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

hanging out with the people i love is enough to keep me happy for a good while tbh. sitting around doing nothing literally nothing with them is endlessly entertaining to me even though sometimes i might make that hard to believe

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

i sing to myself a lot, not so much to others- although i AM a slut for karaoke

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

body because i feel thats probably what old people complain about most. plus like,, 90 years of life knowledge? sounds great to me

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

probably an accident that’s almost statistically impossible

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

single rn (ladies) but i usually try to find friends with similar music tastes because scream-singing in the car is the most fun one can have

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

im most grateful for my dogs and for my friends! i love them and it means the world to me to have people that i can call family. also i would die without my dog juno, she is my rock (and my therapist)

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

Not rly how i was raised, but i wish i had a closer relationship with my older siblings. Three of them had moved out before i was rly old enough to not be an asshole child, so most of them still see me as an asshole child and they never take me seriously. im glad i have an alright relationship with them, but that’s kinda all it is and i know i could do better

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

Lived in Texas my whole life yeehaw. I have 2 brothers and 2 sisters; 2 of them dont like me, and my relationship with the other 2 is,, certainly not bad. Had a lot of physical and mental illness in the past, but 20gayteen is definitely my year, yeet

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

either speaking a different language or playing the piano. im very jealous of good piano players, and at some point i need to be able to speak a more useful language than french because so far in texas it’s proved absolutely useless (other than talking to my mom but that doesnt count)

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

I’d wanna know wtf im supposed to do with my life because sweaty i still have no idea. passion? dont know her please introduce me

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

i wanna go skydiving bitch, no one wants to go with me! pussies!!! the lot of you

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

that one time i did an entire semester’s worth of work in the last three days of the school year

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

being able to put up with my huge fucking mouth. also honesty is super important, even if it’ll make me feel shitty

17. What is your most treasured memory?

when i went camping with a bunch of friends and they were bitter i got to be in the middle of the tent because they were all cold. either that or the time i was getting really bad sleep paralysis and @lonelywaterfall & @skity stayed over so my paranoia didnt render me completely useless,,, also the paramore concert lol ive never been more vulnerable in my life.

18. What is your most terrible memory?

coming out to my mom haha

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

i’d go on a trip around the world to explore/to see a few people, and i’d put extra effort into my gender expression

20. What does friendship mean to you?

comfortable silence is my kink. also emotional vulnerability and SAD BOY HOURS we cant forget those

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

I’m such a slut for physical affection yall have no idea please hug me as much as possible and play with my hair or my hands

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

i guess ill do the same with previous partners so.. i think being funny is probably the #1 thing i appreciate in someone. when you make me laugh so hard i cry, just know that’s like. peak. also stubbornness is strangely attractive to me, plus like,,, uh having an unexpected soft side? an appreciation of art is super important, too. also SPOON VERSATILITY.

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

it was probably happier than a lot of people’s but there wasnt much to it. plus being the youngest in my ENTIRE family really sucked during my childhood because everyone picked on me and i think that’s probably what started a lot of my issues lol

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

better than it could be, but definitely not what i want it to be. we both love each other and i admire her work ethic, but she gave me a lot of anxiety problems (both genetically and not) and she isnt the most understanding person. i have hope though, people change

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling …

I’m hungry and sitting alone in front of my computer feeling like OVERSHARING ON THIS BEAUTIFUL THURSDAY MORNING, BOYS

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share …

many, MANY animals and a lighthouse in the middle of nowhere

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

I’m REALLY insecure about my body xd

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

LOVE feeling safe.

29. Share an embarrassing moment in your life.

probably every time that i’ve ever worn a dress, because i really,, really dont like wearing dresses and that’s it

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

last cried by myself this morning and last cried in front of another person at my friend’s birthday party

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

no partner but if youre reading this im rly proud of ur attention span. gj buddy

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

i think most things can be joked about after a certain amount of time, but like,, it has to actually be funny and it has to come from someone i know isnt serious about it. if a joke is made just for the purpose of being offensive and edgy, it’s never funny no tea just truth.

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

i’d regret not spending enough time with people that i love, not traveling as much as i should have, and also i’d regret not formally coming out of the closet to my family (they probably already been done knew but like. yknow). i came out to myself & the people closest to me a LONG ass time ago, but i’ve kinda seen what it did to my immediate family so im not too excited to do that to my extended family. if i’m not too much of a pussy, ill probably do it in the summer when i see them next, bc ive been meaning to for a while.

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

is it bad of me to say my computer? i feel like everyone else has a much more meaningful answer lol. it would probably either be that or the papers i keep on my bulletin board, bc most of them hold a lot of sentimental value (also my prescriptions would be a pain to get copies of)

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

either of my parents because i dont want them dying before i reach the point where i can expect them to be happy for me when i marry a girl

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

personal problems? what’re those lmfao dont have any srry try me again later

i’m too much of a pussy to tag certain people so if you see this and I've had any sort of conversation with you, do it coward

(also @skity @drawinintherain )

#love exposing myself to people on the internet #hot

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survivorsunsetrodeo · 3 years

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Ep 11 | No Regrets. No Mercy. It's Happening. - Ari

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Y'all.... the way I just.... asked Emma if she had an idol flaksjlakjfakls

She said no at first, but now she's saying yes lmao. OMG. I literally don't know what to do with this information other than like sit on it? Emma seems to be okay with me knowing this and as much as I want to tell Ari..... god idk this is so big.

This could really shake up the game for me and split up some of the big people in my alliance lkfjalkfja. GOD. Why did I even ask. Well knowledge is power and she wouldn't just like tell me if she didn't trust me???

I know I can't beat Ari and I think against Taylor it would be super close, but I also love them so much, so I would feel so bad if one of them went home bc of me lfkjalkfja. Like what is even happening rn!!! I just. Can't breathe.

YALL. I just. CANNOT.

Taylor calls me right. And says oh btw Jacob, Ari, and Ali pooled money at swap in order to get the REVOLVER. Which they neglected to tell me. Which is so cute. But THEN! She also tells me that Ali wants to go for Ari this round flshjsjshaa which is kinda hot and I’m BITTER AF because I literally fucking spilled my entire anxious heart to Ari and felt like they were my number 1 and NOW they’ve been hiding shit from me??? Goodbye. So then I tell Taylor about Emma having the beer and now we know where both idols are this round so woo!

So then Ali starts to call me to tell me goodnight and that he loves me (he’s such a sweetie) and I was like Ali what’s the tea? And he just SPILLS everything to me about all the alliances he’s in with Ari and how he knows we don’t stand a chance against Ari at final tribal council. WHICH IS ALL FACTUAL. And definitely things I’ve been thinking about, but also haven’t had the guts to say anything about. So basically a plan was hatched in order to get the 3-2-2 vote to still happen but have it land on ARI with the idol in their pocket this round. I am literally going to go ALL OUT for the next immunity comp bc Ari cannot win.

Sorry Ari, this town ain’t big enough for the both of us.

got my third idol probably gonna waste it thanks nic hehe <3 Its funny that i was on the very bottom of the tribe now that these people found out i have the idol they want to be my bestie and vote with me i am gonna try very hard to win this immunity so i could only maybe play the immunity idol on josh or he can play it on himself ASDFGH also f2 with 8 people jury just say that redemption island is happening i guess my game plan i hope is to get out ari (pain) then maybe flip and get out maybe dan/jacob i have a feeling after this vote that dan/jacob are probably gonna flip get one of me or josh out probs josh but i dont want that to happen so i am gonna try to make sure i keep on trying to build my relationship with taylor more like i did last tribal also noted wow my biggest weakness in orgs is not my emotions its honestly my self confidence damn also talk to ali more my goat brother <3 also i really miss brandi she was really nice also i feel bad but not super bad that jabari was out i wanted to work with them last vote but they were throwing me utb that wasnt good.. Idk maybe if i hella play these last few rounds then make a very convincing case maybe i do have a small chance of winning idk fuck touchy subjects AHHH it shouldnt effect me now but tribal made me remember again ASDFG even tho theres people who havent made moves like me.

https://prnt.sc/xo035n

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The way I was complaining weeks ago that I was gonna go 16th place...I have to laugh. Me and Emma seems to be in a power position this round since the majority alliance is probably starting to turn against each other according to Ari which is great because I'll have options. Last round I told Emma to distance ourselves and search for cracks within the majority alliance. That led to Ari creating The Clementines alliance with me, Ari and Taylor. Now I'm on board on this group but Tay's been doubting keeping me over Jabari as soon as they found out Emma bought another idol. I'm lying to everyone that I didnt give Emma money (which I did) and told them Nic gave Emma money before he left (which was true but it wasn't enough to buy a $500 idol). Emma got close with Dan and Jacob (separately?) but after all the disassociation with Emma people still think we're working together because they keep bringing our names in private conversations. Emma thinks it's Ari & Tay vs Dan & Jacob but Ari tells me that they are willing to vote with me and Emma this round (with Jacob? idk) but I'm not really sure what the dynamics is on their side but Ari wants to go after Tay and Dan which I'm totally on board with the idea. I would rather have Dan go first because I think the Ari and Tay thing can still be useful and Dan has more pre-existing relationships than Tay I think. The best case scenario is for me to win Immunity and with Emma having the tier 2 idol the majority alliance is forced to turn against each other prematurely. Signs have already been forming when Jacob and I called a few days ago about "Taking out the threats". If I can pull off pretending to have an idol too that'd be great because it appears that NO ONE knows where the t3 idol is which is weird. One more thing is that someone noticed about the finale being a F2 with 8 Jury Members. That really doesn't sound right and people seemingly getting money out of nowhere it's possible that some sort of Edge of Extinction or Redemption Island could be at play here. I wonder how far it goes....Premergers feel like they've been gone for far too long to have an impact in the game but hey I could be wrong.

lolz i need to win immunity or josh idk josh is probably good at math i hate math but im gonna keep on trying hehe also if i see something in the saloon brought i know alis ass brought the idol im just gonna keep on trying to remind ali like hey bro if u want a chance of winning dont vote me off aha

trust list you probably know 1: Josh > everyone else i need more ideas to make confessionals i am kinda tired at this point but dont give up until its over but honestly my tiredness is probably why i am in the retirement home also not me winning like 75 dollars when i almost wanted to abstain because this challenge is always a nightmare this challenge is more fun the emoji math maze... i think ali probs has the idol if he has 135 left when i told him if not if i see something in the saloon brought ill assume ali brought a tier 2 idol i know this tribal is gonna be crazy so i am gonna mentally prepare for it i also told dan i have the idol which is an L but everyone knows that i have it because why would they say they want to work with me when they hella lied to me during the nic vote also its the fact they seem me hey best person to take to f2 next to ali thank god for this idol honestly i guess another thing im worried about i need to distance myself from josh but thats impossible because i know jacob was straight up with me and told me he wanted to work with me and josh also dan also was kinda like that as long as i can get myself safe this vote ill be fine but like i said in my other confessional i know dan is probably gonna flip next round maybe i am thinking about targetting them if ari wins immunity o.o also i belong in a retirement hope random thing live finales make me wanna kms because what if i cry live thats so sad and my biggest fear im kinda okay at talking at finales.

so u can score like 100m in this challenge good bye brb gonna try to get the most points..

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ok here's the status report before i go off to bed:

dan is almost definitely tryin some funny business so he has got to go. i'm working with josh and emma on this one and i truly believe they are genuine, and jacob is obvs with that so it'd be four votes dan, three votes whatever the heck happens with the adoption centre split-vote plan. i don't think i even need to play my idol however im debating whether i should do so anyway because taylor is very much on the don't-break-ranks-just-trust bandwagon and i feel like she is going to be angery if i break that to go after dan without it looking like i felt very in danger? i dunno tbh. i could just pin it all on jacob and pretend to be shockedt but that feels a bit dirty and i'd like to own my moves thank u very much.... guess i'll play it out tomorrow and see how i feel

Not me waking up at 3am to a message from Taylor saying that Ari is feeling sketched out by me because I’m being calm.

Oh yeah Ari? Do you want me to act paranoid? I can do that, but maybe I’m not paranoid bc I know where both idols are this round. It just makes me think that Ari likes that I get paranoid and freaked out.

Part of me actually wants to tell them everything about the plan to get them out but at the same time I feel like that will get me voted out. I feel like the mind games are becoming a little too much for me and I don’t even really feel like playing anymore.

lol of course the person i wanted the least to win immunity wins immunity. Things are definitely starting to get spicy and i might've pushed it a little farther when i lied and said Dan is coming after Ari and I mean he might be but it's the push i needed to make for Ari TO STOP BEING VAGUE TO ME.

Bebop (named after Cowboy Bebop don't call me a weeb) has been formed yesterday and it's me, Emma and Ari. What a Galapagos reunion. Ari told that the majority alliance's plan is to split the votes 3-2-2. The 3 is possibly me because it's no secret Emma is going to play an idol. If no shenanigans happen it should be 3 for Dan, 2 for me and 2 for Emma with Dan going home but I do not feel good about this plan because if an idol is played then there's a high chance another one will. I plan on taking Emma's idol and playing it for myself with the reasoning is that there are people willing to keep Emma because of her goat status over me.

What's interesting to me is that Ari told me that Jacob doesn't like Dan and I'm not exactly sure why but if Jacob is open to voting Dan then I more than welcome it. Me, Emma, Ari and Jacob is the alliance that I've been wanting since merge started and how that hasn't been solidified yet is tragic. They're the three people I enjoy talking to the most. I mean, Taylor's great too but she's coming after me so she gotta go! The way that she messaged Ari saying "Are you sure it was the right choice to keep Josh?"....ARI OF ALL PEOPLE. Well, I'm glad the secret pair beware of #TeamLasagna is still going strong. Now that Ari has become less vague I know I can trust them a lot more.

i literally do not understand any of these people and it is driving me NUTS!!!

ok ok ok so like. josh tells me this morning that taylor said she wants to make a move on me because she heard i was talking to people one-on-one about her being most likely to flip. i immediately go oh f*#&$&#@ dan because i had SORT OF said that in our call yesterday so ofc he twisted it and used it against me. except!! then taylor herself calls me and says "josh came to me and asked if i trusted you and i wanted to get info from him so i made up this lie about how you'd said i was most likely to flip, i'm concerned he's coming for you" and i'm like oh f*#&$%#@ me. ofc my first instinct is to think she's lying as it seems like far too big of a coincidence for her to randomly come up with this story that is partially true..... BUT why on earth would she be telling me all this then? does she want to flush my idol? did she think the story would come back to me and wanted to get ahead of it? either way it doesn't make sense for her to say anything if she truly wants to vote me out, but the coincidence.... too much....... and should i be less certain of my relationship with josh? or are both their versions of the story true and they both don't want me out? my head is pounding i swear. plus jacob said that taylor told him she's "worried" about me because of what josh was saying, which lends more credibility to the idea she's being earnest in not wanting me out UNLESS she is aware of how close we are and assumes i'd tell him (i did)? I DON'T KNOW I JUST DO NOT KNOW

and then if that ISN'T enough, i have dan over here being completely erratic, first telling me how bad a day he's had that he almost wants to ask to be voted out, then saying that josh had thrown my name out which like ya i told josh he could do that. but dan's like "i'm not voting you ari i would never" and it's frustrating cuz he knows how to get to my emotions and i wanna believe him! i really do! especially since if he truly wanted me out he shouldn't tell me any of that shit. but i can't trust it i can't!!!!!! it's too risky!!!!!! ughhhhhhh

tl;dr this vote is a mindfuck and i'm 99% going to play my idol because i don't trust any of these fools anymore

also if i had a dollar for every time i tell jacob he needs to go be convincing to someone and he's like "ok bet" and fifteen minutes later that person is telling me "idk about jacob he's being so vague didn't really give me anything" i would have enough money to buy back my gun after i use it tonight

Y’all, sadly I think I’ve yeed my last haw

Well ignore my last confessional i dont want ari out idc how big of a threat they are or good at the game they are im gonna be loyal as i can to them idk before this i thought big moves and like flipping plus being kinda deceitful was to win i did get pots last year for playing that game tho but its like idk i feel like a new side to me like i rather be loyal to people who i been loyal to from the start and not make a move just to make a big move if i lose 7-0 so be it this game i had hopes of people working with me then being deceitful to me so i am just gonna do whatever tf i want this doesnt mean i dont like the people who i am against i think this merge was full of lovely people but theres people i am more loyal then others i honestly gave josh my idol to play because i rather not be alone without them in this game then be dragged to the end by somebody else also this is funny in orgs i thought years and years back ago me and ari are like oil and water, ketchup and ice cream but playing this game with them has been so much fun!! Also if i some how get betrayed or voted off in any round its okay NNN yeah i wish i had more of a game to prove but its very hard when everyone has different connections i really hope dan isnt super mad at me voting them off i really like dan as a person sometimes im dry in his pms but i did love like playing this game with them!! also i wish i can delete my first conf nnn

ugh i am just truly unsatisfied with this round no matter how it actually shakes out. i dont know what to say to taylor about dan going and i'm frankly too tired to think about it, i hate that im most likely wasting my idol but i would kick myself if i didn't play it & got stabbed, and i'm sad about the collapse of the adoption centre which is partly/mostly my fault anyway. i would like to get this over with as quickly as possible.

7th place isn’t something to be sad about I guess. Just wish I could have made it farther. I’m gonna be the most bitter juror out there tbh haha sorry Ari!

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This round is so scary I feel really bad about Dan

i'm so nervous about who is gonna go omg i haven't heard my name at all but i am still nervous and idk who to trust ahhhh

I came from the best player to the one going home

Power Rankings ONE - JACOB (+2) Threat: 6 (+2) Trust: 2 (NC) Looking back on this round, I didn’t realize how much power Jacob really had. Jacob could have single handedly sent dan home, but failed to communicate his intentions with the minority. Had Jacob of done this, I could have easily seen him sitting in the final 2. However, this misstep will have major consequences on his game. TWO - TAYLOR (+4) Threat: 7 (+2) Finally getting myself back into a position of power. Regardless of my downfall last round, I picked myself back up and went out of my way to message josh and Emma to see if they’d like to do something. Fortunately for me, they did. I could have sent dan home this round if Jacob had of talked to me (but he had no service). I would have been sitting pretty is a majority of 3 with Emma and josh. Threat level back up, back on track to win the game. THREE - JOSH (+1) Threat: 7 (+3) Trust: 7 (+5) Just like I predicted last round, Josh realized it was time to start making the right moves to get himself further. He just needed to break up the trio. I credit myself more than I credit josh though because I reached out to him, had I not of, he could have went home. But him joining with me was a good move for his game and he recognizes that. FOUR - EMMA (+1) Threat: 4 (+2) Trust: 7 (+5) Emma, similarity to josh had a good round because of me approaching them. Emma and josh didn’t even realize their games were at risk until I figured out that Ari, dan and Jacob weren’t voting me, rather voting one of them. Emma still left this round, but honestly if there was communication on Jacobs part about a flip on the revote, us 3 would have skated by. https://i.imgur.com/lFtZBsl.png FIVE - ARI (-4) Threat: 8 (-2) Trust: 1 (-1) Ari really lost control of their game at this point. Not only are they the biggest threat to win, but now they’re the biggest threat to win challenges. I also saw a different side of Ari that I can’t say I like. It’s funny because I used to always think to myself, “Ari seems nothing like an Aries, they’re so calm and wonderful and sweet” YEAH throw all of that out the window. Mad Ari is a different Ari lol. Anyways back on track, they for once I think were shocked by a vote, the double tie they had no control over. And finally, finally I think we are starting to see the decline of Ari’s game. Threat level is something I’m still trying to figure out how to control, and if you fail to control it like Ari did, you’ll see a similar result. SIX - DAN (-4) Threat: 4 (-3) Trust: 7 (+3) Dan lands here because of his failure to mend a relationship with me, now that I had Emma and josh wanting to work with me, Ari won immunity, and Jacob had an idol, it really only left me with the option of voting for dan. If Jacob had of said something, dan would have left this round. Because dan chose to link back up with Ari last round, and Ari lost control this round, subsequently that means dan also lost control. The one thing Dan has over is he isn’t seen as the biggest threat in the game.

#confessionals #AintNoGloryInTheWest

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