#ill tag this time for spiders cause yeah

[theunfortunateplace]

Say you love me (Neteyam X OC!Na’vi) Chapter 18

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Pairing (Neteyam X Original Metkayina Female Character)

Synopsis: follow Luaewe as her world literally gets turned upside down with new na’vi joining her village. Never having to face many obstacles besides finding her way back home. How will she be able to handle the constant jealousy she's faced with and an unwanted love triangle. Disclaimer: All characters in this fic have been aged up for the convenience of storytelling and to match the aging system up with both Pandora and Earth

AGES

OC Luaewe-22 Neteyam-23 Kiri-23 Lo'ak-21 Ao'nung-23 Tsireya-21

Warnings: Smut, Thigh fucking, P in V, Marking, Heavy impreg talk, Breeding kink, Creampie (let me know if I missed anything else)

I awoke bright and early along with the Sully family. 'Teyam and I said goodbye to my mother with her of course not sparing me the kisses. Even Neteyam got smothered in some. This trip was originally supposed to be us two but it quickly turned into a family trip. Was Neteyam happy about that? Nope. Not one bit but he eventually got over it. I on the other hand was excited regardless I never traveled that far before.

Travels like that were only meant for the traders of the clan. “Are you sure you packed everything?” I heard Reya ask as we approached the others by the ikran. “Of course I did! I even packed extra for you.” Lo’ak answered back while giving his ikran a pet. She was tagging along too her mother insisted it was the right thing to do and Lo’ak didn’t want to leave her alone. 

“Why do I have the feeling they will be bickering the whole travel?” Neteyam whispered in my ear as we approached his ikran. I chuckled and looked up at him. “ because it’s highly likely that it’s going to happen, but I’m sure if you fly fast enough we won’t hear it.” I winked at him causing him to smirk at me. He leaned down and kissed my lips. 

I felt his hand caress my face as he deepened it. “Ma teyam did you drink the tea this morning?” I asked in between kisses. He pulled apart resting his forehead on mine. “Yeah…I did…maybe we should have made this trip sooner.” He said in a worried tone. 

I tossed the items my mom requested for me to bring on his ikran and cupped his face. “You'll be fine… if you feel like you need to take a break do it. Don’t push yourself harder than you need to.” He nodded his head placing one last kiss on my lips.

“OK, love birds, are you guys done sucking face so we can fly out?” I heard Jake call out as he finished loading everything up. I heard Neteyam groan pulling away fully reaching to secure the sack I placed on top. 

I chuckled and quickly placed my hand on his. gesturing for him to check if the saddle and everything else were secured. I looked over at Kiri as she talked with Spider who sat in front of her. I still have yet to have a proper conversation with him… every time I try to it’s like he avoids me as if I were ill.  I shook my head turning back to the ikran that was staring me down. I gave him a pat on the head only for him to blow air through his nose at me nudging while against my hand. “ you ready for the ride big guy?” His face changed making me raise a brow confused by his reaction, but he quickly licked a long strip on my cheek. I groaned and patted his head. 

“Yup-yup, I love you too.” I walked off wiping all the slobber away and shook my head that dude needs to work on expressing his feelings in another way. I climbed on top and sat towards the front in my normal spot. I can’t believe I would be going to the forest…. Let alone meeting his grandmother. I felt his eyes lingering from behind me causing me to look and sure enough he was. 

We didn’t have much time and every second we spent here the less time we had to make it there before his rut. “OK, is everyone ready?” I asked shaking the worriedness from my voice. I gestured to 'Teyam to get on and he followed. “All set!” Jake called out. Before I could even reply back I felt 'Teyam wrap his arm around me tightly inching closer to me. “You know the drill hold on tight.” I gripped the leather strap and he took flight. 

I gasped feeling the wind rush past my face as the ikran screeched out. No matter how many times I fly with him it never gets old. 

Jake took his position leading us in the front while Neteyam followed closely behind. Ever so often I could hear their voices communicating their next move or to ask questions. The technology was all new to me. Neteyam didn’t wear the device often but I guess since we are going to the forest it’s necessary.

I wonder if they use it because you can’t hear anyone when flying and it’s not like us, the Metkayina, where we have sign language….

My mind was filled with so many questions. Sure I’ve wondered how different clans lived their life but it just dawned upon me that the Omaticaya use many forms of human technology… 

My mind was like this for hours new thoughts popped in. Questioning many different things it wasn’t until I felt a drastic shift in our direction that I realized we were making our first stop. 

He landed the ikran and got off. Holding a hand out to assist me, I smiled and thanked him with a kiss causing him to smirk. 

“Gosh, I have to pee!” I hear Reya say as she practically runs off somewhere. I chuckled and looked over to Kiri and Spider. I locked eyes with Spider and I saw nothing but fear in his eyes. Even though I was waving and smiling at the pair. I bit my lip and turned back to Neteyam who was looking at me with a confused face. 

“What's wrong?” He asked I shook my head reaching for the snack bag and pulling out some dried fish. “It's nothing.” I looked up and smiled at him only for him to caress my cheek. He leaned down moving closer to my lips, when I suddenly I heard a crunch. I opened my eyes to find this man chewing on my damn fish. 

“You little-“ he abruptly kissed my lips and started running away. “ I’m gonna get you once we get to the forest, you fish thief!” I yelled out. I huffed and ate the remains fish in my hand and walked over to Lo’ak who was stretching his legs out. 

“How was the ride so far?” I asked he scoffed and smirked. “ I’m sure you can guess what it was like Luaewe.” I chuckled and shook my head. 

“Well, it’s almost eclipse she will go to sleep soon, and the crankiness will wear off.” He smiled slightly and looked away for a short moment. “ I don’t suppose you have something that will help with nausea?” I smiled and patted his shoulder. 

“And who would I be if I wasn’t prepared for everyone? Come I’ll give you a couple of things to give her.” He let out a sigh of relief and quickly walked over with me. 

I undid the knot on the satchel that held all my medicine and took out some candy I made. “These should help.” He raised a brow. “You sure, because it just looks like candy to me.” 

I chuckled. “It is candy, I made it. I figured we wouldn’t have time to sit and brew tea and all that extra stuff…well you guys might but Neteyam and I don’t.” 

He hummed.” You know that’s a really smart idea. I never seen something like this.” I smiled and thanked him. He looked off again and scratched the back of his head causing me to raise my brow. 

Is there something else wrong? Why is he acting like this? Normally he’s cracking jokes or goofing around or something. “OK, what's going on? This.” I moved my hands in a circular motion. “ is making me worried.” 

“ I- shit…. You know this is really awkward to talk about especially considering you’re my brother's mate and now my sister...” I huffed and placed my hands on my hips.  What the hell is he trying to say? And why is it so hard? “Lo'ak?” He looked at me directly. “ Just say it.”

I chuckled, causing him to smile. “How did you know you were in love… what did it feel like?” I blinked slowly, completely stunned by the question. 

“Wow ok, I wasn’t expecting that um…. Well ha….At first, I was extremely conflicted due to some stuff that happened in my past… I don’t think there was a specific incident that made me love him, it was really everything combined. Like sure when you like someone you feel a pull or whatever but every second I wasn’t with him felt emptiness… when he held me even at the most awkward times.” I chuckled and looked off into the distance. “ It's like this warmth engulfed me and I’m not talking about body heat. I could literally feel his love. I don’t know, it's hard to explain but when you know you know.” 

I looked back at him only to find him in a transfixed state. As if he were thinking really hard. It wasn’t until Reya called out to him that he snapped out of it. We don’t have deep conversations together but I could tell he was going through something.

I felt arms wrap around me from the back and I smiled leaning into his chest. He placed a kiss on my forehead and hummed. “ Where did you run off to fish stealer?” He looked down and chuckled. 

“ I had to handle some business before we headed back out.” I raised a brow in confusion. I mean if he had to use the bathroom he could of ju- ooooooooh. I turned around and he tilted his head. 

“ Why didn’t you ask? I would've helped.” I said lowly. He smiled and gently grazed his thumb against my cheek. “Ma orae if I did that I definitely would have not been able to hold back and would have pushed myself into an early rut.” I pouted but accepted his words. That’s the last thing either of us want. “You're right.....well, did you at least get the satisfaction you needed?” He laughed out and gently ran his hands up and down my back only for him to firmly grasp my ass making me gasp out in shock. “‘'Teyam, your family is right there!” I whispered, yelled, looking around quickly to make sure no one was watching 

He lowered his face to my ear and playfully nipped it.“Shh, it's not like they would notice.” Of course they would you’re literally gripping my ass in broad daylight gosh I hope Tuk isn’t looking over here!

“It was enough, but I would have preferred that tight little pussy you have.” I playfully swatted his arm causing him to chuckle moving his head away. “You can be touchy all you want but you better keep that mouth in check!” I pointed my finger at him and furrowed my brows. 

“OK, I’ll keep it in check. Wouldn’t want to accidentally turn you on, or we would be stuck here for days and I probably would end up with a broken arm again.” 

Too late for that ‘'Teyam, and I’m sure he can tell because that damn smirk on his face is staying put. He leaned down kissing my lips. I felt his hands starting to grope my ass as he tried to deepen the kiss. I pulled away quickly and pushed his chest away. He looked at me as if I had betrayed him but quickly came back to his senses. “Shit, I’m sorry.” He pulled back fully and let out a frustrated sigh. 

I shook my head and gave his arm a squeeze. “It's okay, that’s why I’m here to keep you in check.” I said trying to lighten the mood, he let out a soft chuckle and nodded his head. “We should head back out. I’m not sure if everyone else is ready but we gotta go.” He said while looking around. 

He pressed his fingers on the device and spoke. “Me and Luaewe are gonna head out first.”  I watched as Jake popped his head up from whatever he was doing. “OK, we will meet at the third stop.” 

I reached back into the back and took out another piece of dried fish. I was just standing there watching them both communicate but I had no clue what they were saying. I felt Neteyam’s hand graze my lower back. 

I turn away from the bag making sure to close it and look up while taking a bite of the fish. He chuckled and leaned down. I instinctively moved away having a feeling he would take another bite from me but he held me in place and kissed my forehead.

“Come on, my pretty girl it’s time to go.” Heat suddenly rose to my face causing me to look away. But I quickly grabbed the saddle and hopped up. He positioned himself behind me swiftly connecting his kuru. He wrapped his arm around my midsection and before I knew it we were off in the air again. 

I have no clue when the next stop will be maybe hours from now well into Eclipse. I bit my lip feeling him reposition himself behind me as we leveled out in the air. Gosh, this was going to be a difficult ride. I mean I knew it was but shit his fucking dick is pressed up against my ass and it’s taking everything in me not to reach back and grab it. 

But the last thing I want is for us to crash into the ocean……this is gonna be a long trip. 

-

“OK, we will camp here for tonight leave out early morning and meet up with everyone at the third stop.” I hum as he helps me back off the ikran. 

“How many more stops till we get there?” He walked over to the bags and took some off. “maybe two more, it all depends on the weather really.” 

I smile and fold my hands together. That’s awesome we’ll I’m sure the weather won-“ the sound of thunder crashed interrupting me. “Well shit.” He chuckled as I looked up to see if there were any rain clouds. 

I quickly walked over to him and took some of the bags. “Will those be alright in the rain I’m not sure how your material holds up?” We moved under a tree and set everything down. “Yeah, it's made out of leather and we waterproofed it…. It would be ideal if we found a cave if it’s going to rain but we will have to make do with this tree.” He said fiddling with something in the bags. I tried to help but he told me to just sit so I did. 

If I knew one thing about Neteyam it’s that if he tells you he’s got it and doesn’t need help he doesn’t. Well until you hear cursing or a loud noise. I watched as he strung up the material that would keep us dry.  

I shook my head subtly walking back over to him and went into the bag taking out the blanket we would sleep on. I heard his playful scoff from behind me and I smiled. He should have known I wouldn’t stay put. I jolted up feeling a sudden wetness on my back. “Looks like we landed just in time.” He said while quietly moving the other bags under the material. I hummed and sat down watching the rain hit the sand. “ I should have known not to jinx the weather.” I lightly chuckle as I feel him pull me closer and wrap his arms around my waist. 

“It's fine, at least we get to enjoy the rain together…. You know I just realized this is the first time since mating  we will sleep alone.” I smiled and rested my head against his chest. 

“You're right… it’s weird not having Tuk trying to infiltrate our cuddle time or my mom waking us up.” I shook my head. I’ll never forget the day when Neteyam and I were about to have our afternoon nap. Anyone walking by would think we were about to have sex with how intense we kiss before we sleep. 

But that didn’t matter to Tuk. She ran into our area and jumped on us complaining how it was unfair we didn’t spend time with her as much as we do with each other. 

“Mhm, we are finally alone. Maybe when we get back our marui will be finished hopefully not though. It’s my duty- well back in my clan once mated the male or one who initiated creates the hammock or   marui as you guys call it.” 

I raised a brow confused do they not sleep in marui’s like us. “ wait so how do you guys sleep?” 

“ in hammocks. There are individual ones, then ones for couples, and lastly the family ones but after moving to the mountains because of the war… we had to set up tents you can still sleep in the hammocks inside or sleep on the floor…. It’s kinda complicated you’ll see when we get there.” I hummed and moved forward reaching for some fruit. 

“ I’m excited especially since you guys really talk up the forest.” He chuckled while placing a kiss on top of my head. 

“ because it deserves to be talked up!” He held his hand out and I placed some of the fruit in his hand willingly. “ you think Sa'nok will make some porridge for me?” He let out a laugh and I looked up with a serious face. “ I’m serious! You said it was better so now that I’ll be there I can’t leave without tasting it!”

“You'll get your porridge don’t worry… and the other delicious foods,” I closed my eyes and hummed. That’s another thing I had no clue about. The types of food they ate… 

I felt his face dip against my neck lightly nipping at my skin. “Why do you have to smell so good ma Orae?” He grunted against me. I bit my lip feeling his dick press against my back. “ I don’t know why this time around is so hard for me but shit!” I felt him squeeze my hips trying to lift me up but continued to restrain himself. 

“Let me help you-“ I said trying to turn around he lowly hissed warning me to stay put. “Luaewe, you know we can’t.” He strained. 

“But it’s hurting you! I can’t stand seeing you this way, 'Teyam. You don’t have to put it in. I can jerk you off or you can put it in between my legs.”  

He nipped my neck again as his hand slid around to the front forcefully cupping my pussy. My breath shuddered at his fingers grazing my clothed clit.

He let out a deep chuckle against the back of my neck but cursed as I touched his thigh. I was still wet from earlier. It’s probably what’s driving him to behave like this. Gosh, I feel so bad! And the fact that I can’t even help. “My hand isn’t even fully touching your pussy and I can feel how wet it is.” 

He playfully tapped against my clit causing me to jolt back in surprise. “What I would do to be inside you right now… feeling that tight hole squeeze me as I fill you up with my cum.”  I let out a whimper as he continued to speak in my ear. 

Fuck I don’t remember him talking this dirty before. I let a moan slip from my mouth and I could feel him smirk against me. “But this will have to do. Lay down for me sweetie.” He patted my thighs letting me know what he decided and I followed his instructions. 

I laid down on my side with my thighs pressed together looking back waiting for him to move closer to me. He looked at my ass hungrily grabbing it with his hand. Even with hands as big as his some of it flowed out between his fingers. 

He chuckled lowly moving his hands up my hips speedily undoing my tweng. His chest pressed up against my back causing me to lean into him. He dipped his face back into the crevice of my neck and let out a deep growl. “You smell so good.” His fingers found their way to my folds massaging my entrance. I let out an airy moan reaching back to hold his forearm. “So wet for me. Fuck I just want to be in you!” 

You and me both! “Please?” I let go of his arm reaching back further for his cock that was pressed between my ass. “ I don’t want your fingers. Put it between my legs ''Teyam.” I gave up trying not to sound desperate right now. I wanted my mate and I couldn’t even have him the way I wanted.

He moaned as I gripped the base of his cock as I lifted my leg up slightly. “mmmm.” I bit back my moan as I rolled my hips back into him. Setting him in place nestled snugly between my folds.  He forcefully grabbed my face detaching his lips from my now abused neck and latching them onto my lips. 

He started moving slowly at first. Almost antagonizingly slow. Even in his horny pre-rut filled brain he still had it in him to torture me. But that all came to an end very quickly. His hand caressed my body spending extra time on my breast. When suddenly he sped up out of nowhere causing me to jolt forward with the increase in stimulation. 

“ ssshit!” I moaned out while gripping his arm once again as he pulled me back holding me still. “I’m not even in you and you’re running?” He scoffed “How is my mate supposed to tend to me when she can’t even take my cock rubbing up against their tight little pussy huh?”

He lowered his hand to my clit rubbing it ferociously. I gasped, feeling an orgasm fast approaching but he switched up the pace on purpose. “Please please please please please-“ I choked out begging for him to make me cum but he refused. He pulled his hand away gripping my breast again. 

“Fuck, I love these! And your fucking ass. I wonder how big they’ll get when you swell with my child.”  It’s just his pre-rut talking. It’s just his pre-rut talking. I chanted to myself trying to rationalize his words. He leaned down kissing me once again quickly deepening it. “Please let me cum.” I begged against his lips. 

He smirked moving to my ear. “You wanna cum? Yet my cock isn’t in you? You think I’ll let you do that?” I whined getting frustrated with this game! “All you have to do is-“

“Just fuck me already damn it!”  I shouted out fed up with all this teasing and non fucking. Maybe I’m out of my mind maybe I’m just fucking horny but if he cheats me out of another orgasm I will lose it! 

I felt him smirk pulling back slightly and slowly pushing into me. “Yes yes yes yes!” I chanted as the swell of his cock stretched me. His lustful moans filled my ears as he settled deeply into me. I gasped, feeling our Kuru’s connection. I didn’t even feel him touch mine. 

He moved slowly trying not to hurt me but he could tell I was fine and quickly picked up pace. The sounds of our skin hitting and the sound of my squelching pussy overpowered the downpour that was upon us. Thank Eywa we were alone or else this would be an embarrassing thing to happen with everyone there.  Though his speed picked up his strokes were deep and with the curve of his cock it almost felt like it was intentional. 

“T- 'Teyam, you're too deep!”  His hand went back to my breast rolling my nipple in between his fingertips. I moaned out arching my back from the new stimulation. He chuckled sinisterly knowing exactly what he was doing. 

“You're mine.” He nipped my ear with his teeth “If your breasts are this sensitive now just imagine what they’d feel like full of milk.” His stroke grew deeper, more aggressive. I cried out feeling him grow larger. How is that even possible? “Fuck ‘'Teyam please you’re too-“ 

He growled tightening his hold on me refusing to let go. “ I’m gonna fucking breed you! I’m gonna get you pregnant muntxate.” My pussy clenched vigorously around him causing him to chuckle. “You like that huh? You like when I say I’m gonna get you pregnant hm?” 

His hand moved to my belly causing me to gasp. “ I’m gonna love watching you waddle around the village parading that round belly. Having it be a physical example of what I did to you.”  He said while caressing my belly as if a bump were already there 

He bit down onto my shoulder pushing me right over the edge. He held me tight as a scream of pure pleasure ripped through my throat. My body convulsed from how intense the orgasm hit me. But despite how forceful it was he continued to rut into me as his knot began to swell. I couldn't help but get turned on even more. Knowing the risk of us already performing tsaheylu. If he were to knot me, I would for sure get pregnant.  

He bit down harder as his cock twitched inside of me spurting his hot cum against my cervix. I can only imagine what it feels like to be stuffed with his knot. 

I reached placing my hand on his thigh and rubbing it as he came down from his high. His soft lips peppered my neck with kisses causing me to smile. “Fuck.” He breathed out, “I- I'm sorry, my love…… I got carried away shit.” I shook my head while attempting to look back. 

“It's okay, you're alright right?” 

“Mhm,” he said lowly while dipping his face in my neck still trying to calm his breathing.  I reached back brushing the braids out of his face. “Then everything is fine and you feel relieved no?” He nodded his head and I smiled. 

“Then there’s no need to worry ‘'Teyam.”I tried to pull away to fully check out his arm but instead, he tightened his hold around my waist. I chuckled while tapping his hand. 

“Alright big guy, let me go I need to properly check your arm.” He groaned and I couldn’t help but let out a little laugh at his antics.  But my laughter was quickly replaced by a shudder of my breath as he pulled out of me causing the cum to rush out of me. 

“Gosh!” It felt almost erotic feeling the warmth of his seed run out of me and onto my inner thigh. I looked back to see his glistening cock slowly relax and knot fully deflate. I sat up with him following suit and reached for his arm. 

Unlike Ronal, I wouldn’t be able to tell the healing status when most of it had healed already but I can’t tell if it’s broken. I felt around for anything out of place and listened to him for any small sounds to slip from him. But there was nothing everything was fine. I looked up and smiled while letting his arm down, “Nothing is broken.” I said softly 

He reached up to caress my face and pulled me in for a kiss. “Thank you.” I giggled against his lips and patted his thigh. 

“It’s my duty.” I squealed as he pulled me into his lap and laid down. “ ‘Teyam! We have to wash up.” I whined only for him to shush me. 

I let out a groan and laid my head on his chest accepting defeat. His cum is gonna get all crusty! “You're gonna be the one scrubbing your cum off of me!” Laughter erupted from his chest 

He cupped my ass while sitting back up. Good because I didn’t want to deal with that in the morning. “You just won’t let me enjoy my muntxate huh?” He said while standing up still holding onto me. 

“You must want a crusted-up muntxate then if you thought I would just let you let me lay there! Skin as smooth as mine takes care!” He shook his head playfully and scoffed. 

 I felt him playfully tap my ass, “alright, let's make it quick then”. He looked out from under the material keeping us dry and hummed. “It looks like the rain slowed down but we should still make it quick. 

“Are you gonna put me down?” I asked while tilting my head he smirked. “No, this is payment for not letting me lay down with you.” I groaned playfully but I enjoyed it when he carried me. To him, I practically weighed nothing. I leaned that quickly from how many times he scooped me up and placed me in his lap. 

I smiled and shook my head as I pushed my face into his neck. “Nga yawne lu oer“ 

“ I love you too,” he says.  I tried to shove my face deeper and he chuckled. The rest of the night was spent with us bathing and playing around in the water longer than we should have but we eventually got out and went back to ‘camp’ as Neteyam called it. 

I was cuddled up against his warm chest with his arms wrapped around me. I listened to his heartbeat while the sounds of light rainfall could be heard in the back. I gasped while closing my eyes feeling the connection of our kurus. 

His hand grazed my back as he placed a kiss on my forehead. “Sleep Ma Oare, I’m not going anywhere.”  He said in a low tired voice. I continued to listen as the sound of his heart beating turned into a trance….

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#avatar #avatar fanfiction #avatar the way of water #avatar smut #avatar oc #neteyam #avatar 2 #avatar way of water #neteyam smut #neteyam fluff #neteyam x oc #avatar slow burn #say you love me

[nymeriaaa]

tag game: get to know me!

thank you so much for the tag @svintsandghosts ! ♥

~~~~

1. Birthday? 22nd oct

2. Favorite color? green or purple, depends on the shade

3. How tall are you? about 5’3

4. How many pairs of shoes do you own? id say about 12 but i only wear like 3 pairs lol

5. Favorite song? currently it's regular by nct 127 buuuut don't ask me my all time fave coz like... i couldn't choose. it would probably be an mcr or green day song lol (or treasure by ateez)

6. Favorite movie? um well i love edward scissorhands and the lotr trilogy. oh and the harry potter movies too! school of rock... horror would probably be the descent part 1 only... ahh don't make me choose seriously i could list so many 😩

7. Who would be your ideal partner? idk... just someone who loves me for me and is kind, loyal... accepts the fact that i have many kpop boyfriends who will always own my heart 🙄

8. Do you want children? not really but i'd definitely compromise if i met the right guy and he wanted one

9. Have you gotten in trouble with the law? nope

10. What color socks are you wearing? none

11. Favorite type of music? pop punk/post hardcore/"emo", and kpop lol

12. How many pillows do you sleep with? ok so 2 for my head, 2 on the other side of the bed, my boomerang pillow and a big square/european one as well... so 6 lol

13. What position do you sleep in? i fall asleep on my side but when im just chilling in bed i can lay on back too for a bit

14. What don’t you like when you’re sleeping not having the fan on, i don't care what temperature it is. my fan stays on. (im keeping this answer cause same 100%)

15. Have you tried archery? nope

16. Favorite fruit? watermelon, blueberries and mango

17. Are you a good liar? no unless it's at work and i have to come up with an excuse to get out of going to another store or to not send one of my staff to another store... then im a brilliant liar. oh im also really good at lying about why i can't hang out or go somewhere if im not feeling up to it (which is most of the time lol)

18. What’s your personality type? istp. im very shy and the biggest introvert unless im comfortable around you, and awkward as fuck lol

19. Innie or outie? innie

20. Left or right handed? left

21. Favorite food? sushi. japanese good in general is just 🤌 delish

22. Favorite foreign food? oh well i just answered that in the question above? japanese. chinese, thai, korean and vetnamese are amazing too!

23. Are you clean or messy? both but trying to fix bad habits and keep my room clean and organised but it's hard when your mental health sucks sometimes

24. Most used phrase?

probably what the fuck and the word cunt in general. oh if you ask sandra my 2ic it would also be i don't care 😅

25. How long does it take you to get ready depends but if its for work about 30/40ish mins

26. Do you talk to yourself? of course

27. Do you sing to yourself? yes lol

28. Are you a good singer? hell no

29. Biggest fear? this is stupid and lame but spiders/insects/bugs/creepy crawlies... just all of that 😬

30. Are you a gossip? not really, maybe a little at work but it's more just complaining and bitching about our shitty area managers lol

31. Long or short hair? for me? long hair. but i like both on other people

32. Favorite school subject? um... none? lol like i didn't have any one subject i was really good at compared to others i was just kinda average in everything but really really bad at maths and science

33. Extrovert or introvert? introvert

34. What makes you nervous? yeah people, public speaking... there's more but ill leave it at that

35. Who was your first crush? his name was matthew it was in year 3. i found out he passed away a few years ago and he had a wife and kid so that was sad

36. How many piercings do you have? just my ears (which have kinda closed up lol) i used to have my lip done too many years ago

37. How many tattoos do you have? one but wanting more!

38. How fast can you run? no ❤️ (lol same)

39. What color is your hair? purple atm but it's faded so i need to redo it

40. What color are your eyes? hazel

41. What makes you angry? so many fucking things. work makes me angry (not my team in store but mostly everyone else) i could rant about my workplace for a whole fucking month i swear. when i see people talking shit about people/artists i love. people who play games and toy with other people's emotions and use them... im gonna stop but i could list a lot

42. Do you like your name? yeah

43. Do you want a boy or girl as a child? none but if i were to have one... i guess a boy... idk

44. What are your strengths? um im friendly and welcoming, kind. i think overall im a good person and that's a good thing... lol

45. What are your weaknesses? shy, ignore red flags and forgive people too easily. scared of confrontation due to being shy so i don't speak up as much as i should especially when it comes to my beliefs and i guess in that sense i can be a bit of a pushover... but only in certain scenarios. i definitely need more confidence

46. What’s the color of your bedspread? black and white atm

47. What’s the color of your room? black, grey and white wall paper on one wall then just a neutral, off white colour the rest

~~~~

Tagging but no obligation; @alphadisaster @septicrebel @jin-neck-shaft @hyuckilstan @saynofakke

#tag games

[buttery-art]

Sometimes ya gotta force him to sleep

#forgot to post it here too oops #ill tag this time for spiders cause yeah #2bhank #madness combat #madness combat hank #hank j. wimbleton #madness combat 2bdammed #spiders #arachnophobia #traditional art #butter art #spider hank

[yanderecandystore]

Could we get some more Male Beldam plz, a crumb of spider boi affection 🥺💖

Hello dearest! Sorry for the long wait, I was having an awful time trying to make this last chapter work. Also btw:

I messed up the story and now this isn't the last final chapter of the series 🤡 I told y'all I get too invested and too complicated with this shit-

So YEAH we're having ANOTHER ONE later on- That will be the true final chapter (depending on how this one goes, I ain't too confident-).

I made some HEAVY DECISIONS LOL-

This is going to be a lot different from my usual work (I think?) And a disclaimer:

I don't believe that the actions of the characters in my writing are valid or even morally correct, I write for yanderes because I'm extremely weird (I'm trying to accept that) but I don't support these actions in real life, I just like them in the media. BTW this is not an accurate representation of trauma/mental illness/or even anyone in general!

(Chp. 1) (Chp. 2) (Chp. 3)

TW/Tags: Following up from (Chp.2) // also if y'all want, there is this headcanon→ (🧵⚫🕷️) // manipulation // heavy angst // mentions of vomit // cursing // kinda edgy // characters death (I'm so sorry-) // mentions of death/gore (won't really detail it cause I'm horrible at it) // identity theft/pretending to be someone else // mental breakdown/guilty mindset

6,471 words!

Stitched Together (Chp.3) [Yandere!M!Beldam OC(?) x F!Reader - Fanfiction]:

A house filled with disfuncional people. Were they always like this, or did they become "this" when they first came here? Who knows.

People have their own struggles, we're always dealing with some kind of problem- Even the smaller ones. We all have different ways of dealing with them, of course. It's life, it's natural. Yet it's still pretty surprising how all these people got to know each other and form some kind of bond.

It's a weird friendship, but it's not necessarily a bad one, or -more accurately- it didn't used to be one.

Your roommates had a lot of issues, some of which you didn't even know off. It is very entertaining seeing how much they struggle with the most ridiculous problems with the easiest solutions.

Communication seems to be the heart of all their problems, and even he, a cold arachnid monster who eats the "love" of naive people, could see right through their flaws- And he hasn't talked with anyone in ages!

Other Dominick, or just "Dominick" now, has been enjoying this disfuncional group antics way too much, to the point he has actually developed some kind of- Feelings, towards you and your roommates. You're almost as pitiful as you are loveable, it's no secret why that other man couldn't stop obsessing over you for twelve long years, if only he could be a bit more honest though- Maybe he would have won your heart back, maybe you wouldn't be sleeping in a fabricated dimension with a hungry monster.

Cause that's all he is! A monster, that's all he'll ever be, he knows that now.

Still, this whole "he is my ex best friend" drama sure strikes a nerve, the truth is so obvious that it's honestly infuriating to hear you talk about that guy as a "friend". "Dominick" can't blame you though- Maybe you are just not accustomed to differentiating friends from lovers, especially considering how lonely you were.

The mice have told him so many juicy details about you and your roommates lives that he can basically read every single one of you like the palm of his hand. And seeing you four have such a hard time understanding each other was like a never ending soap opera drama.

Vivian was a nerdy girl "trying to break free" by acting like a complete airhead and believing that having fun is something only possible by partying and ignoring her anxious mind.

Richard is extremely dependent on Vivian, being his only friend for so long has made him believe he has more romantic than friendly feelings for her.

Dominick used to be a frail, easily sick boy who grew up without his "best friend" by his side to be able to protect his clingy self, and seeing how you never even talked to him in twelve years- he has fully believed he has done something wrong to make you despise him. He became a physically strong man, but his weak spot has always been you.

And you, oh, dearest you! You're so anxious and worried about building and maintaining relationships that you started to overthink their actions to the point it has led you to Other Dominick's arms! Dearest, it's true your friends have been neglecting you, but if only you knew how it wasn't their intention at all.

Even so, "Dominick" couldn't deny the fact he did fall for you in these last couple of weeks, this "feeling" has been growing on him like a parasite ever since you started wanting to be here more often, to see him more often and to top it all off: You asked him to let you sleep in his web, you asked him to not bring you back home.

What is normally a silent cold void of pure nothingness there was now the low sound of breathing and occasionally snoring. There was now warm, there was now something else aside from him and that little rodent he genuinely loves. It still takes him by surprise how you just invited yourself to this realm and doesn't seem to want to go back, it still surprises him that you left all those people in the Pink Palace just for him.

How absurd, right? You were so willing to escape your reality that you were now sleeping and cuddling with a monster. Granted that you don't seem to know how bad he truly is…. The other people he had preyed on were a lot more careful than you, yet they all still failed to survive in the end. You could say ignorance is a blessing if you have managed to survive so far by being naive.

You have stayed for the night in the Other World, having a wonderful sleep holding the person you seem to have fallen in love with. However, "Dominick" hasn't anticipated the amount of time you two would have spent sleeping together, due to the amount of energy he lost trying to create the perfect fantasy for you he has completely blacked out for what feels to be days.

He isn't sure what day it is, or what time it is, but he was sure both of you had slept for quite a while, maybe it had something to do with the nature of this realm that made you "hibernate" for as long as he did.

There was only one option if he wanted to make you live with him forever, to be able to indulge himself in this love for as long as you live- Yet he wasn't sure if you would agree with his terms for staying, that being never leaving, of course- And possibly having to see him carnage the body of others so he can feast on it.

And speaking of food, of course you would be starving after such a long sleep. He wasn't sure what time it was, breakfast? Dinner? Time almost doesn't matter when you're essentially immortal.

There isn't anything to eat here really, not while he is this exhausted, he can't make anything for you at the moment even if he really wanted to.

"- I hope you had a decent sleep, I bet that sleeping in a place like this may not be- The most comfortable of beds." He commented while looking around the web he called home. He doesn't even remember when was the last time he was able to sleep in a proper bed without feeling out of place. This web is just a lot more comforting to him.

"- … Well I think it was worth it. Though I'm not accustomed to sleeping in webs, or with someone else for that matter." Joking tiredly you responded to his almost self deprecating comment.

You have almost forgotten you slept holding him, and you almost have forgotten how his looks are still a little frightening- Waking up and looking at him sure is a fun way to get enough energy for the rest of the day, thankfully due to his own exhaustion he hasn't noticed your small expression of fear and surprise.

"- You're hungry." Was all he said. While you were still sleeping he could hear noises coming from your stomach, he isn't sure how he can fix this yet.

"- A bit- I assume you also haven't eaten yet? Sorry if it sounds harsh, but you look like you haven't eaten all night." Putting it bluntly like that could harm anyone's ego, but it was true that he hasn't eaten anything in years, waiting people to move in to the Pink Palace is both tedious and a almost unfruitful process, and as you can see he is too pathetic to kill every single one of his preys, despite how easy it would be to just do so right now.

But maybe, it doesn't have to be this way, maybe he could still work something out, you don't have to die to sustain him-

"- Can I help you this time? You have done so much during this time I've been here, I would like to do something for you for once." You were so sincere, and it was true that people have been cooking for you a lot these past days, mostly Other Dominick and…. Well, Dominick, once.

Just remembering yesterday makes you feel odd, as if you have left something behind- Wait, didn't you have plans to hangout with him and the others today?

"- Well- You can help me with something…" What would normally be a very easy thought process, was now taking him ages to complete- He hasn't completely finished his plan mentally, yet it was the only option left. In this state he is too soft, too dependent, he can't feed you or take care of you without first satisfying his own needs.

"- We don't have a kitchen anymore, I'm sorry if this is a selfish request- But could you please get us some food from your house?" He just needed an excuse, any excuse.

"- Hmm, sure! But- But why can't you just build a new one?" You questioned him, still not sure how his "powers" work or not work.

"- I can't, I can't right now- I'm starving." He wasn't lying really, but he did exaggerate it a bit to see if you could go faster.

"- I'm so sorry! I'll be back okay? Just hang in there." And being naive as you were, you made sure to crawl your way back to the little door you've come from, taking just another look at his bottom eyes and sending him a tender smile one last time.

You'll be back soon, he is sure you will.

You won't have to die, you won't have to die, you won't have to die, you won't have to die, you won't have to die, you won't have to die, you won't have to die, you won't have to die, you won't have to die, you won't have to die-

- But they will.

While crawling through the tunnel you realized how tight it felt, you knew you didn't fit exactly well here but this time it feels almost suffocatingly small. You don't know if this has anything to do with "Dominick" or not, but it was as if the whole tunnel was trying to squeeze you back to where you came from.

You're not sure what you should do in this scenario since he said there was no more kitchen back there, should you prepare something in your own kitchen and then bring it back? Or maybe you should just bring a snack to make him feel slightly more filled?

Whatever your plan was, you knew you would be able to fix something quick for him- And probably for yourself since you do feel awfully empty right now, and honestly your body hurts from sleeping in one position the whole entire time, especially on top of someone else.

You hope he was okay, it would be really embarrassing if he was also having body aches because of you, if you could give him something it would be a proper bed- Screw spiderwebs.

For some reason, you felt as if you took longer to crawl back to the Pink Palace than what you normally take- Maybe it was just your imagination, after all you did get to reach the end eventually. While still feeling your whole body weak and aching you got up from the tunnel feeling a bit dizzy, still your mind was focused on two things: Food and roommates.

It would be more appropriate for you to say "hi" or "good morning" right? It feels wrong cooking and then leaving them again without saying anything, maybe- No, no you couldn't, if you did…

Could you… Perhaps- Be able to tell them about the Other Pink Palace??

The idea sounds absolutely ridiculous, especially when you consider that they would probably not believe in you in the first place. Why did you even consider that option? What would you even tell them- "Hey I met like- A spider version of Dominick and a fake version of all of you and I hmmm kinda slept there over the night??" God, they would either think you're trying to prank them or that you went crazy!

Speaking of them- Where are they? It's still 6 am when you look at the clock in the living room. Normally Vivian and Richard would be awake by now, Dominick especially since he likes to exercise during the morning. Damn, you're the only one that wakes up late, huh?

Oh… Yeah… They're probably hanging out with one of their actual friends, how could you even forget that, right?

" They probably didn't even remember to warn me or something, not that it would matter since… I wasn't here in the first place." You thought, feeling a bit sad at the lack of your roommate's presence around the house. Maybe you should try talking with them whenever they come back, you can't keep leaving them and then expect them to call you to go out with them, right?

Maybe it's the loneliness creeping in, but you start to think that maybe you should apologize for your lack of presence around the house, and try to be open about how you really feel about them- Otherwise none of you would be able to survive at least an year together.

Yeah, you'll talk to them soon enough- You'll make something for "Dominick" and then tell him you'll be back soon, you'll send them a message saying you need to talk and then you'll open up to them and hopefully they'll still want to watch some movies together. Sounds like a good plan.

There is of course, only one problem:

"- W- What?! Why is everything spoiled already?? Who would even buy so many perishables and leave them on the counter? Goddamnit-" The smell of rotten food had invaded your nostrils like a punch to the face when you came back to the kitchen, after not finding anyone around the house.

They left the groceries on the counter and just- Ditched?? Who would do such a thing?? Why did no one put anything in the fridge and why was it all spoiled already?? Great, you have to buy more food now, unbelievable.

You would tell Other Dominick about this, but you're worried that if you take too long he'll keep starving- And besides, you're too disappointed with your roommates to think straight about this. You got ready, picked up your purse and stormed out of the house hoping you could buy something to make for "Dominick".

On the other side of this whole fiasco was Dominick, the real one, that is. He has been staying inside Sam's house with Vivian and Richard since you left, it's been the most long fourteen days of their lives.

Hmm? Why do you ask? Well- Maybe it's the fact you suddenly disappeared out of thin air like you were never there to begin with?! After that morning when he made you breakfast, he decided to have his own talk with the other two to see if they could all reach an agreement- They agreed with having the movie night like you suggested and they were willing to talk about the past few weeks when they neglected not only you and Dominick about also their own studies and responsibilities inside the Pink Palace.

You told him you wouldn't be there that day, which was fine, he was actually kinda glad to know you would be able to take some fresh air and not be stuck with only them for company, he thought it was just natural for you to want to do your own thing and didn't even question you where you were going. He thought you would come back later that day or maybe on the next day.

Oh but he was so wrong, so very wrong.

You didn't show up for two weeks straight. You didn't answer any calls or messages for two weeks straight. No one has seen you around, in two weeks straight. For some reason rats have been tearing up the house more frequently for two weeks straight.

At night time they could hear sounds coming from the living room and the kitchen. Every time someone would check it out, they would see nothing there except the small door on the wall being open. There was nothing behind it, only a brick unfinished wall. Someone would try to lock it up, but they couldn't find the key so they would just block it until they could find it.

For fourteen nights, that door would be back open again- Somehow the objects that were positioned to close it, would find themselves back in place.

And still, you weren't anywhere near them. No one has seen you around town, none of your neighbors could say they saw you when you left and which way you went and your family hasn't heard of you since then. They were starting to lose their minds.

Vivian, Richard and Dominick started to feel unsafe inside the Pink Palace after the tenth day. Richard was extremely superstitious, and the presence of the rats and that little creepy door were really obvious signs that something was wrong with that place, and in his mind, that something was related to you somehow.

Vivian, however, was now a nervous wreck, not only was she worried sick about you she also felt guilty in your disappearance. The confident girl has returned to her old anxious self, worrying that maybe the worst could have happened to you because of her neglect.

Dominick couldn't stand seeing them like this, so he suggested they spent the night somewhere else. One night became four, and still no sight of you, they told some town's folk to call them whenever they see you, and to warn you that they miss you dearly. Everyone misses you, especially him.

All options left for why you have suddenly disappeared ranged from bad to awful- From "maybe you got lost somewhere outside town" to "maybe you just didn't want to come back at all".

Or worse….

Maybe you were dead, and were now hunting the last place you've been through.

No! No, he couldn't think that way! None of them could… You were coming home soon, he knew that! He was sure of it…

He- He just couldn't bear the thought of you gone, of you actually really gone!

Both Richard and Vivian couldn't muster enough courage to be able to go back to the Pink Palace but Dominick knew he had to go back to see if maybe you have come back, if maybe there would be some hint to where you were, and how you were…

"- I'll be back soon, until then tell Sam I went to the Pink Palace to see if she comes back, okay? Stay safe you two." He told them goodbye before going out, after all both of them were still not accustomed with this sort of thing.

When he got home he saw that the door was open.

"- [Y/n]? [Y/N]!? ARE YOU THERE?" He came inside screaming his lungs out without considering the various possibilities as to why the door was open. I mean- Yes, the door could be open because of you.

"- [Y/N], IT'S ME, DOMINICK!" But what if it was a burglar that had entered inside to steal something...

"- PLEASE ANSWER ME!!" Or maybe they didn't lock the doors on their way out, maybe due to some animal or a strong wind, the door was now open…

"- [Y/n]..?" Or maybe… It was a trap.

"- How… How did-" He was speechless, not only because of the amount of screaming and running he did throughout the house, but also due to the scenery in front of him-

That little, pesky tiny door was open again. No surprises so far, but what really got him was the creepy, spider web filled, dark tunnel behind it.

" Since when was this here??" He thought, as he started to investigate the tiny door and the eerie air coming from the other side. Richard wasn't kidding when he said this place had some creepy shit going on, did- Did you have anything to do with this??

"- Do I… Fit in?" He wondered, the crazy man. No one would ever think about entering such an awfully tight place, with some more than suspicious vibes to it, when your friend has literally gone missing and was probably involved with some sort of occult-ish phenomenon.

But if this could actually help him find you, he was ready to do anything to be able to reach the truth, and he was desperate enough to go inside this hellhole if it meant this nightmare could end.

Again- He didn't consider the dangers of his uncalculated actions, despite the glaring red signs everywhere, he crawled down the creepy yet- Oddly magical tunnel, seeing light on the end of the darkness. Unfortunately, he probably couldn't have predicted what type of monster would be waiting for him.

"- Dominick?" Someone calls him from the other side, something about their voice is both familiar yet eerily different.

"- Are you there?" Was it you?? Was it really you calling for him on the other side?? It- It looked like you, despite how dark this place is and how far away you were.

"- What the Hell are you doing here??! I'm- I'm coming okay? Stay there-" Dominick was bewildered by the circumstances of actually seeing you at the end of the tunnel- This is almost so unreal that he wonders for a second if he is even fully awake. As wonderful as this moment is, he still feels like something isn't right, he still feels like something is missing out of this puzzle, he continues to crawl but now he is cautious of getting close to you.

Keeping you alive really did benefit him in the end, intentionally or not, these circumstances seem to be the most favorable. After a good rest, he found that maybe he had at least some amount of energy left, at least barely enough to keep one last charade.

" Perdón, love, but I must use your beautiful image, just this once." This is not exactly how he planned it, if anything, trying to look like you just to trick that guy seems a bit evasive- For the first time he isn't sure if he should really use someone else's appearance to trap another person.

He can transform himself to look like whoever he wants, but because of the current situation his appearance feels more like a mockery of your figure rather than an actual adaptation, like he did with Dominick.

However, now that he was here, Other Dominick would be able to eat from someone's "love", although- Ugh, this "love" sure doesn't sound appetizing, your Dominick's love is going to be the worst thing he ate in a long while, isn't it?

It's not as pure and sweet as yours, it is drenched in doubts and unresolved issues. Self loathe mixed with regret, he did yell at you recently, hasn't he? He sure smells like a coward, not to mention how awkward this situation is.

Think of it from his perspective: He is going to eat the love that is not directed towards him- Like all his other victims- But rather, love that is directed towards you. Other Dominick is planning on eating the heart of the one who wants your heart! It's a bit gross for him.

"- Dominick! Please help, I'm over here!" This is… Probably the first time he felt like vomiting while acting, but his stomach is empty so at least there won't be a mess anywhere.

Having to interpret you like this, especially without your knowledge feels so disgusting but he hopes you'll understand he did this out of necessity. He needs this man's heart, soul and mind, anything except hurting you, he is already too attached to you to see life fade away from your body. At least you won't be here to see him do it, that would be unpleasant.

"- [Y/n]! Why- What- What's going on?? Where were you?? What the Hell is this place-" Dominick was obviously holding a lot of questions in his mind, after all the fuck is he looking at? An empty void with only "you" here, you've been gone for so long yet somehow you were inside the house all this time??

Or more like "the empty hell-looking dimension inside the house".

It didn't take long to get to end of the tunnel, finally he got close enough-

"- I- I was so scared, Dominick-" Other Dominick tried securing Dominick on a deadly last embrace so he could do this whole process faster, but for a second, Dominick could catch the difference in voice tone, and pushed himself out of his grip.

"- W-Who- What are you? WHERE 'S [Y/N]?!" He trembled when he noticed it's eyes- The monster, whatever that thing was, the person trying to imitate you had button eyes. On closer inspection, it looked- Nothing like you, nothing at all like you! It was as if your face had been stretched out and redrawn by a horror cartoonist, whatever color your skin once had was too pale to resemble something living- And your hair- How could he forget how your hair looked??

Sure, it was the same hairstyle (barely-) but the texture, the color- Even if you did share similar traits, it just looks off! There was no other way to say it, this wasn't you at all!

"- ANSWER ME! WHERE IS SHE?!" Dominick shouted his lungs out despite his voice coming out a bit horse and mild if not completely pathetic due to his previous shouting inside the Pink Palace, this creature was threatening to come closer and he couldn't let his guard down-

He wasn't prepared at all, but he couldn't let this THING know that.

"- Oh. Well, I don't see the point in continuing this- Thank you for making it easier for me." Transforming and keeping a form is not only physically stressful, it takes a lot of mental power to not constantly have an identity crisis over these little "acting sessions".

Still, even if he could be himself, who would that be? Are they still inside of him or have they long been dead?

Whoever was left now was tall, moody, monstrous and skinnier than a toothpick. He's seen better days… maybe..?

"- Please refrain from screaming, that is absolutely the worst part and I have a headache." Headaches are the absolute worst, even to someone like him- Especially someone like him!

"- OH! REALLY?! I'm sorry, your HIGHNESS! I didn't know- u-GH!" Dominick tried to taunt the monster but all it did was earn him a slap from the creature's sharp claw hands and to be tripped over effortlessly.

"- You did that on purpose, I'm almost surprised." The man sat himself on top of the pathetic man on the ground, using his back as a support, completely humiliating the human who once thought he was now storing enough to handle this sort of confrontation.

Despite Other Dominick's appearance, his REAL appearance, that is, his way of dealing with rude "quests" was firm and elegant in a way, slapping the young man in an old fashioned way.

"- Fuck off me- You didn't even answer me-" Dominick tried to sound as tough as he could, and tried to struggled out of this position- But found his attempts to be fruitless.

"- I mean, why would I? You enter my house, you yell at me, you threaten me, I think I'm not in the wrong to do this." This was the way he would normally deal with- "Rude quests", try to mess with them. Poke, poke, and poke until they manage to fall off.

"- … You're kidding me? You LURED ME IN! You tricked me by looking like my friend, which by the way- WHERE IS SHE?!" Oh, how heroic of him! His heart beats faster whenever your name is mentioned, pumping determination down his veins, how cliche.

How… Annoying.

"- I gave you one condition and you choose to not listen, no wonder she left you- What made you think I would give you that answer?" He was being serious by the way, Other Dominick hates yelling.

"- L- What are you- What did you do to her?" Dominick whispered as if he was speaking with himself and wondering what could have happened to you in this- Fiend's hands!

"- … Hmm- Not treat her unfairly? Not pretend that me being weak was entirely her fault, not blaming twelve years of loneliness on her and only her and not taking a SMIDGEN of responsibility for my lack of social skills? Not tell her she is an awful friend because of something that happened so long ago-" Other Dominick kept teased, proud of how easily he could list off the things he DIDN'T do wrong with you, he would never have treated you this way.

"- How do you know all of this-" Dominick was shut down immediately- The monster was having fun poking him until he would fall and break.

"- Shhh, wait I got more- Be there for her when she needed, gave her comfort and care while you three were having a lot of fun without her- Leaving her to wonder to a trap like a naive little butterfly-"

"- YOU were the one to set the trap in the first place! I know what I did was unfair, I know I shouldn't treat her like that for something that happened when we were kids, but I didn't mean to hurt her- YOU DID! You tried to hurt her from the very beginning, didn't you?!" Ouch. The human managed to touch the monster's ego, a subtle yet extremely painful stab in the heart.

He was taken back by this, he stayed silent thinking about his moral ground on this petty competition.

"- You DID! You stalked us and preyed on our insecurities, you're the reason she is missing! Tell me where she is or I swear to God." The wounds didn't stop coming, Dominick was now the one pushing his buttons.

"- … Can you blame a spider for setting it's web? Longing for a prey to stick it's pretty little wings on its strings? I'm only doing what my nature tells me to do." Despite it being true, Other Dominick didn't feel proud of this notion, nor did he feel like he won this battle at all.

He tried to poke him, but ended up being the one left broken over their own guilty mind.

"- Y- You couldn't- You…" At least he still believed he would be capable of hurting you, and even if that was a lie…

"- Eat her?" It would still benefit in the end, right?

"- …" No words, only a shocked expression turning from fear and disgust to pure hatred. He expected him to say a bunch of things, horrible things, anything except that!

How could someone eat another person? Unless that someone was twisted or not human at all… In Dominick's mind, that guy was both.

Ya know, hate is not really the opposite of love, it affects us in almost the same ways love affects us- Love and hate are easy to get mixed up in this horrible world we live in, so even if he couldn't take Dominick's heart by love, he could still take it by hate.

Hatred towards him. A hateful heart would be a first for his taste, but hopefully it isn't as nasty as it sounds.

To the last breath, he fought, he did the best he could, blinded by rage, hate and love, your old childhood friend was now gone. He didn't go down without hurting his opponent, no, quite the contrary-

Dominick had made sure to rip his buttons out, making Other Dominick blind while also getting rid of the buttons so he wouldn't be able to find them later. Unfortunately, he died believing that somehow, he would see you again soon, as he didn't know you were actually alive and were just on your way back home- As a bunch of townsfolk managed to recognize you and warn you about not only the time you've spent missing, but how worried sick your roommates were.

In the end, the lonely spider did get to fill their stomach and still protect the one thing it cared about, but to what end? He was right, he was a monster, eating on the flesh of someone who you care a lot about, you would never be happy here knowing how dangerous he is for you, and for others around you.

Your silence seems to confirm his suspicion.

"- I know you're there. I heard you coming through the door, and I felt you standing there for a while now."

"- !…"

"- I can… Feel your hesitation. I didn't get enough time to get rid of the mess, I-I can't actually see now, thanks to your "friend", so I can only imagine how awful it must look to you."

"- …"

"- I'm sorry for making you see this, especially it being him… I tried- I tried to…. It looks awful doesn't it? His face is probably really messed up, I thought that maybe you wouldn't recognize him."

"- But you know it's him, don't you? Who else would- Come here and try to be your savior? Your knight in shining armor…"

"- …"

"- That makes me a villain, doesn't it?"

"- A-actually you don't need to… Answer that. I always knew I was one, I just liked to pretend I wasn't… I don't remember since when I've been doing this, but I've been doing it enough to forget who I used to be."

"- …?"

"- The truth is nothing makes me feel satisfied except- Well, this. This- Horrible thing, that I probably shouldn't be- showing it to you-"

"- …-"

"- Please don't- Feel pity for me, I wouldn't accept that. You knew something was wrong with me from the start but I kept lying to you pretending this wouldn't be… This wouldn't be your end."

"- I have told myself that this wouldn't be you"

"- !!"

"- W-WAIT! I-I know you're going away- Just- I-"

…..

"- ….. She is gone…. That's… That was a great decision."

You decided to run away, you stayed still watching that awfully brutal scene for way too long, you were frozen in place before he said something along the lines of "this could have been you"- And that was all the motivation you needed to get out of there.

However, your mind couldn't stop coming back to the body of your old friend, the body that was-

You- You can't stop thinking about it! You want to scream but you just can't- You locked his door while crawling back to the Pink Palace, the tunnel seemed a lot more tight and nauseatingly longer than last time- You could feel the walls moving but you considered that maybe that was just your terrified mind.

Your body told you to escape as fast as you could, but your mind told you to go back and- And see your dead friend again, to try to get him back despite the fact that would not be possible.

The moment you got that, all you saw was red, Dominick and that monster with him- Even without the buttons you could tell he didn't have the guts to look you in the eyes.

How did this happen? Why didn't you see it coming sooner??

What- Why did you trust him?? A complete stranger from a POCKET DIMENSION INSIDE YOUR HOUSE??

WHY-

If-

" This is my fault, this is my fault, this is my fault-"

You kept replaying that scene inside your head, over and over and over again- Feeling guilty for everything you've done wrong in these past few weeks.

You trusted a monster, and now your friend is dead. You trusted a monster and now your roommates are worries as fuck about you and you can't even explain what the Hell happened to you in all of this time.

You fell for a monster that was planning on taking you out as well as Dominick.

You couldn't handle this- You can't handle this!!

You sat on the front porch crying your eyes out, not having enough strength to pull yourself out of this twisted place. A part of you was hoping that the heavy knocking from the inside meant that he was coming- And that it meant you would be gone along with your crimes.

The other part was terrified to the very soul of that possibility even happening, so when you saw the police car come by with your roommates wondering what happened and why was Dominick gone for so long- You were both relieved and worried as fuck as to how the Hell would you explain what just happened.

" The man on the other side of the door ate him?? " Was absolutely ridiculous and in no way in Hell would anyone believe you-

"- It's my fault! Pl- Please!! I did it!! TAKE ME AWAY PLEASE-" You pleaded to be taken away while crying your eyes out, despite no one's understanding of the situation you've sat there hoping they would take you far away from here.

The banging inside the house only got louder, and for once in all of these days you were worried if you actually did lock the door or not.

The policemen heard the loud banging and decided to investigate. You were being comforted by your roommates who were happy to see you but extremely worried about what happened to you and why you were mumbling nonsense. One of the policemen was trying to ask you questions but it was clear your mind wasn't in the right place at the moment, the other was investigating the sound.

All he found was blood coming from underneath a tiny door, and the key you left behind in a hurry. He thought it would be a good idea to unlock it.

There was nothing there. Just blood.

But hopefully it would be good enough for the investigation.

The local police department was already aware of the weird disappearances that happened every year in this very house, so they already had a suspicion that this wouldn't be the fault of some random young adults that decided to move here. Sure, it was scummy for them to use your group as bait, but they needed something to be able to resolve the mystery involving this house.

And you survived whatever happened here, and you clearly knew things they would love to know about- Of course, on a better time than this.

It's clear you're fragile at the moment and that you'll need sometime to recover, and besides-

There is this weird feeling of someone watching them as they take samples of the blood.

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

🦉Owl Tag Delivery to🧺:

// @radbarbariancupcake //

I want to personally apologize to everyone who has been enjoying these series because of spider boy softness, I made him a monster and I'm sorry, but that doesn't mean I can't make him soft on future Headcanons! I would very much appreciate it cause I made myself sad doing this 😭🤡

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

#choco stuff #yandere oc #yandere candy store #yandere #yandere x reader #yandere oc x reader #yandere male #yandere male beldam #yandere male x reader #yandere fanfic #special delivery request #special delivery fanfictions #yandere coraline x reader #yandere coraline

[marabrosca]

[REUPLOAD] I Know Better Than To Let You Go (Surana & Morrigan Friendship)/(Zevran/Surana)

commission for @mahalzevran with her oc rhian

read on ao3

words: 1k

summary: When Zevran breaks the Warden's heart with his gift, Morrigan steps in. A cute ficlet about Surana and Morrigan's growing sisterhood.

tags: friendship, hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, bonding

The changes had begun long before the Warden noticed them. They hadn’t started when Rhian sat in her tent alone, holding a pillow close to her chest in defeated heartbreak. It hadn’t started when she avoided Zevran, and started taking anyone else with her away from camp. It hadn’t started when she began to notice that when Morrigan’s barrier was cast on them during battle, her spell just so happened to miss the assassin. Or when the injuries were severe and health poultices were gone, Morrigan only managed to supply enough mana to heal everyone except Zevran.

No, this had all started with that book. The old, leathery book that was bound in twisted branch patterns, and radiated the smell of cinders from Rhian’s hands, is what started the changes. Since then, Rhian saw Morrigan’s eyes melt in a way they never had, and she spoke quietly to her. She called her a novel experience- a friend, a sister. The elf’s heart leapt from her chest at the declaration, as the witch’s heart was becoming something new as well.

Since then the mages were often joined at the hip, even if Morrigan denied it upon Leliana’s teasing. Rhian felt a special bond growing between them, something that felt earned and special.

Then one night, seemingly from the blue, Zevran approached her with a gift. It was a gift of gratitude, he claimed. He offered a token of appreciation and loyalty, and nothing else. Rhian grasped in the dark for a deeper meaning, and not only was she refused, but scorned. That was when she began to spend her fleeting hours of peace alone. Shortly after a few days passed, Morrigan approached her just as the elf had finished her dinner, smoothly striding across the grass directly to her friend.

“Warden, I wish to have a word with you.” The witch stated, fingers entwined, stopping in front of her tent.

“Of course. What do you want to talk about?”

“I do not wish to speak here. Come, walk with me so we may be away from prying ears.” Morrigan replied, gesturing to the thick woods parallel to their camp.

“Don’t go,” Alistair spoke up from the fire “she wants to get you alone so she can hypnotize you. Or turn you into a rabbit and eat you.”

“If there is anyone I would wish to hypnotize, Alistair, you would be my first choice. At least possessing you would mean we could go a night or two without listening to your incessant humor, or mouth-breathing. Though you need not worry about being devoured; as I imagine eating you would cause one to become deathly ill.” Morrigan retorted without missing a beat.

Zevran chuckled from his tent, and Morrigan shot him a sharp look from across the fire. Rhian didn’t bother to look up at him, instead walking into the shrubbery with the other mage in tow.

The forest was pitch black aside from the glowing orb Morrigan had summoned on their trail. It unnerved Rhian to be unaware of her surroundings, as she had a hard time seeing even in daylight. Morrigan peered down at her, brightening the light over her hesitant movements.

“Do not be so frightened. Nothing will attempt to harm us here.” Morrigan assured with more confidence than the elf was willing to believe. The witch walked forward through the night, with no sense of alertness or fear to be had. Rhian broke the silence to settle her nerves.

“You said you turned into animals often when you were a child. Are you able to sense what creatures are out here because of that?”

“Becoming a beast does not make you omniscient.”

The answer did nothing to assure Rhian, so she stepped closer to the other mage and her hypnotizing glow. But she smiled suddenly, turning to her.

“Oh, I always wondered; can you turn into a giant bird like Flemeth? Or a dragon?!” Rhian asked almost too excitedly, her black eyes lighting up.

Morrigan let out a quiet laugh, and Rhian almost didn’t catch the rare expression before receiving her answer.

“I have never attempted such a form, for I see no use in it. My reason for such transformations was to hide in plain sight, amongst the wilderness and the village. I use them to observe and become part of the world around me, so I may study them at a safe distance. To become a giant, flying creature –such as Mother prefers- would be counterintuitive. She always had a flare for the dramatic.”

Rhian pouted, disappointed she wouldn’t be getting a ride on a mythical beast into the starry sky. But she enjoyed the witch’s presence nonetheless, trailing beside her along the shimmering river that glittered with her light.

“And that’s what you always did?” the elf questioned “weren’t you lonely?”

“Loneliness was a luxury; it was not as you know it. When the greatest thing you have to fear lies within your own sanctuary, it does not act as a loss. It is a relief to grow amongst your own terms without feeling the anticipation of anger…or amusement.”

“I think I do know how that feels, a little.” Rhian replied, crushing down memories of the Circle before they ruined her night. She stopped suddenly when Morrigan turned to her.

“You are not in a place of isolation any longer. Danger may well be around us, but you do not have to go through perils alone…darkspawn or otherwise.”

Rhian paused for a minute, registering the woman’s words.

“Is this about Zevran?”

“It is about you. I was aware of the Crow’s intention from the beginning, but you are far too trusting. I knew one day he would turn his back on you, but I was not expecting it to be so personal.” Rhian’s eyes fell to the ground, and she held back the need to cry.

“To be given the mercy of his life by the very target he failed to erase, only to string you along? He is far more arrogant than I gave him credit for- though I am not surprised. Tis a man’s nature.”

“He didn’t string me along, he…I guess I was just feeling more about us, our thing than he was.” The elf sniffled, rubbing her nose with her sleeve.

Morrigan abandoned the orb to levitate in the air beside her, placing a hand on Rhian’s shoulders, eyes piercing hers. “I am not versed in expressing my concerns to others; but you need not hide to deal with your sorrows alone. I will not let a man make you feel as though you are not deserving of affection. Do not be afraid to speak with me. There is much else in the world with value than someone who is not worthy of you.”

Rhian’s cheeks dampened with tears and the crisp wind in the air, heart filling with both loss and relief. She opened her arms, a grasp in the dark once more, a silent plea. Morrigan embraced her, for the first time, a foreign gesture the witch would offer to no one else. She could feel the shorter mage smile against her, whispering a thank you barely heard over her muffled face.

Morrigan allowed Rhian to stay there as long as she needed, admittedly less than comfortable, but with a feeling of accomplishment. The elf lifted her head, a quirked smile on her lips, distracting from her swollen eyes.

“Hey, you said you didn’t want to be a bird or a dragon, but you fought with us as a giant spider. I guess your mother’s not the only one with a flare for the dramatic.”

Morrigan’s mouth gaped, offended by the comparison, sending Rhian into a fit of giggles.

“That is not the same thing!”

“Sure it isn’t.”

“Certainly not! I do not parade myself as display of power.”

“You're telling me a giant spider isn’t showing off?”

Morrigan huffed, and Rhian laughed as she pulled away, gathering her composure. She was still feeling the weight of sadness in her chest, as it displayed itself on her face.

“Come,” Morrigan faced the path ahead “was there not a question you had for me a few days ago?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah there was! When you lived in the Wilds, did the trees ever move?”

“Did the trees…ever move?”

“Or talk to you? When I was in the Brecilian Forest, there were these magic trees that would…”

Rhian recalled her memories of the Dalish camp and the werewolves to Morrigan as they moved farther away from the camp, leaving her troubles behind with it.

#dao #warden surana #asian grey warden #asian warden commander #zevran x surana #morrigan #my fics #rhian surana

[spriteandnicotine]

Ennoshita 7MIH <3

Pairing:Ennoshita x GN! Reader

Fandom: Haikyuu!!

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: nyctophobia, arachnophobia (discussion of both and anx//ty)

Word Count: 900+ A/N: Doing this for a haikyuu creators collab! I haven't written a seven minutes in heaven fic before so I hope this is good >.< A big thanks to @tamcitrus​ for being my beta reader! I also want to say that if you do struggle with an/iety that the tips and tricks in this may not be for you and you may have more severe bouts. By no means am I trying to make this seem a certain way, and it isn’t 100% accurate.

Adrenaline is pumping through your veins as the bottle slows and lands on your crush, Ennoshita Chikara. 

It has always been hard to approach him with how busy he is between practice and school. In fact, you’ve only had the chance to have a full conversation with him once. Even then, the interaction was less than five minutes in length. When he sees you in the hallway, he always makes an effort to at least wave and flash his award winning smile.

Glancing up, your eyes meet his and your cheeks flush beet red. You stand up and shuffle your feet as you make your way to the closet. As your hand connects with the door knob, you let out a tiny yelp from the shock. Your face goes at least ten shades darker.

“Um, you okay?” Ennoshita asks. You quickly nod in response and open the door, wanting to hide until you calm down.

The light fades away until it peeks through the bottom of the door frame as Ennoshita closes the door behind him. Your heart begins to race, and the thumping is so loud in your ears; you swear he can hear the drumming as if the two of you were sitting in a circle beating on various percussion instruments.

From a young age, the dark has been terrifying to you. You don’t know what caused it; the stories of monsters going ‘bump’ in the night, or the feeling of warmth leaving and being replaced by your blood running cold as the ill-lit room engulfs your shape, forcing your body into the jet-black abyss.

As the darkness takes over, you instinctively crouch down and find the back corner of the closet. You begin to hyperventilate as the sleeve of a fuzzy coat brushes across your nose.

“Hey… Y/N… What’s wrong?” he asks. As he speaks, you feel a cool gust of air on your side that is quickly replaced by body heat. A chill runs down your spine from the rapid change in temperature, so you force your back into the corner. 

Your head is becoming fuzzy, and you barely manage to say, “Afraid…of..dark,” between pants. Ennoshita quickly takes action, slipping off his leather jacket and pushing it up against the door frame. Then, he fumbles around for his phone, turning on the built-in flashlight.

As light fills the room, you take several deep breaths, and your vision goes from fuzzy back to normal. You wipe the tears from under your eyes and say, “Well that’s embarrassing. I’m sorry.”

“No, it isn’t. Everyone is afraid of something whether we want to admit it or not. After all, we’re only human,” he gently responds.

You give Ennoshita a small smile and ask, “Oh yeah? What are you afraid of?”

“I have arachnophobia and I’m scared of rejection. I woke up with a spider dangling above my face when I was a child, and I never was told no as a kid, so that’s probably where my fears stem from,” he replies, softly looking into your eyes.

“Oh. I don’t know why I’m scared of the dark. I’m probably more afraid of the monsters that lie within the depths of darkness more than the dark itself,” you explain.

“Here, it always helps me to suck on hard candy when I need to ground myself,” he says, holding out a handful of jolly ranchers for you to choose from.

You take your favorite flavor and pop it into your mouth, savoring the fruity flavor as it spreads over every taste bud. You then look at him with confusion spread across your face. 

“Do you always keep these with you?” you ask.

“I have pretty bad panic attacks. One of the ways I calm down is grounding. I focus on the flavor and it brings me back to the present. Plus, these taste pretty good,” as he says this, Ennoshita unwraps a blue raspberry jolly rancher and places it in his mouth.

The two of you sit in silence for a couple of minutes, simply enjoying each other’s company until you remember how he said he is afraid of rejection.

“Hey, Ennoshita?” you ask.

He turns to the side just enough so you know he is giving you his full attention before you continue, “I just want to thank you for helping me out earlier. I also thought about how you can’t be rejected if you never try, but since I’m not scared of rejection, I thought I would see if you maybe wanted to get some tea?”

He smiles and you note the blue tint on his teeth from the candy, “Of course! I know this hole-in-the-wall cafe that makes the best tea!”

Just then, the door opens and everyone’s face falls when they realize you just talked for seven minutes, but you don’t care because you have a feeling you will have an infinite amount of time to hang out with him, which tends to always feel like heaven.

tag list: @strawbirb​

just dm me if you want to be added <3

#haikyuucreations #ennoshita chikara #ennoshita #ennoshita x reader #ennoshita x you #ennoshita chikara x reader #ennoshita chikara x you #ennoshita hq #ennoshita fluff #ennoshita scenario #haikyuu scenarios #ennoshita fic #ennoshita haikyuu #spritewrites #sprite writes #hq #haikyuu #hq x reader #hq x y/n #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x y/n #ennoshita x y/n #ennoshita is my bb

[ravens-rambling]

Spiders In My Hair

A/N: I felt the need to write some ~creepy~ virgil to get in the mood for halloween, so yeah

summary: People always told Patton that he was too sweet for his own good, he never thought twice before giving to others. And well, that generosity might’ve just costed him his life. 

WC: 937

ships: n/a

warnings: Spiders, panic, body horror

Tag List: @punsterterry @stormcrawler75 @frostedlover @mycatshuman @mutechild @panicattheeverywhere15 @overlord-winter @analogical-mess @saddestlittlebabe

~

Patton had known it was a bad idea to walk into this abandoned laboratory. He had heard the stories, heard the rumors. But he thought...if there really are creatures in here living alone and eating scraps from outside...maybe he can save them? Or at least...give them some food? That was his intention. He had just wanted to help them survive. He just wanted to help.

He couldn't see them, but he knew they were there.

Why was he so stupid and not listened to the others to begin with?! Why must he be so stupid and blinded by his heart all the time?! Why must-

Thousands of spiders have crept into the room. And he hears them crawling all around him.

Patton's breathing has picked up and he can't stop shaking. His hands let go of the box of cookies, and he heard with a loud crashed as it fell to the ground. Oh God is this how he dies?! Is this how it's going to end?! Oh, God. Oh, God. It can't be! He's still so young! He doesn't want to get eaten by spiders! There has to be some way out of this! But...he can't even open his eyes right now…

And they were hungry...

"My, my, children… look at what we have here… a rather kind-hearted male for you younglings to devour…" a slick voice came from beside him, right...next to his ear… it reminded Patton of lace… thin and delicate. But full of grace. And he could hear the clicking of its fangs, including the clicking of the legs against the ground. And… oh fucking no-

"P-Please… I don't...wanna die…!"

"Oh? You don't wanna die… hm? No one wants to die. No one purposely wants to die… even the ones that take their own life...they don't want to die… that's their minds playing tricks on them. But you...my good sir, have stumbled upon the wrong territory. You have stumbled upon the wrong place. And now you shall pay." He felt it moving closer, then he felt some web pull against his arm.

"Wait!! Wait!" Patton cried, "I… I come with no ill will… I come with no harm… I come bearing food for your children… I come...with food… once I heard about the rumors of a creature living here I thought I would bring you food since you have to hunt for yourself. I figured it would help you out. That's the only reason why I'm here! I promise on my life!!"

"Hm… Now, how can I trust you, I wonder? You could just be lying to save your own skin as most humans would do." The clicking came over to Patton's front and he couldn't stop shaking. "Open your eyes human. Look into mine. I can see if you are telling the truth or not. I can look into your soul…"

Patton took a breath, he doesn't want to open his eyes. He really doesn't. But he has to, does he? He has to if he wants to keep his life, he just hopes that this creature can read him correctly cause this all rides on it.

Slowly he reluctantly opens his eyes and what he saw before him made his entire body tense up. He started crying before he could stop himself.

This creature before him was terrifying, it reminded Patton of one of the horrible nightmares that would leave him screaming and covered in sweat.

Most of this creatures body was a human, just a normal teenager male. It even wore a black striped hoodie and a black shirt underneath, his long legs wore black pants. However, that's where the familiarity ends.

This creature is extremely pale, so pale that his skin was almost a chalk white. Around its lips, the skin was actually peeling off, and besides said lips were two small clicking purple fangs. It wore a skull over its nose and eyes so it was hard to see those features. But glowing purple and green eyes emerged from the eye socket of the skull. Curly dark brown hair poked out of tiny homes from the skull. And Patton didn't what to know where that skull came from at all.

On this creature's back were thick purple hairy spider legs that were as big as Patton's arm. Maybe even thicker. They were hairy and long, it looked like if you stretched them out it would be longer then Patton's body.

And the creature was smiling.

It's different colored eyes glowed brightly while he stared right into Patton's blue eyes, and Patton wanted to scream. This was his worst nightmare come to life. And he is terrified. But he couldn't move. And he wasn't sure if it was fear that was keeping him in place, or something else. But he is petrified nonetheless.

"Hm, so you were telling the truth. You must be idiotic and naive then. Why would you come here just to feed us? We could easily eat you and-"

Patton didn't hear the rest of what he said as his eyes went back and his body fell to the ground with a loud thud.

The creature clicked his tongue at the sight and looked amongst his children. "No, we aren't going to eat him, unfortunately… he really was telling the truth… he didn't come to hurt us. We should thank him for caring about us. Let's take care of him until he wakes up. Then we can borrow him and use him to get us more food. How does that sound, lovelies?"

There was a sound of tiny chirping and clicking, and the creature smirked.

"Wonderful…"

#idk i had this idea and i really wanted to write this out #i love the idea of creepy crawly virgil thats half human half spider and just #yes #patton sanders #patton #virgil sanders #virgil #sanders sides fanfic #sanders sides fic #sanders sides #sanders sides au #sanders sides human au #my fics #thomas sanders #thomas sanders fanfic #tw body horror #tw spiders #was this based off the drawing i just reblogged? maybe

[chickensarentcheap]

Best Part of Me -Chapter 48

Warnings: none

Tagging: @innerpaperexpertcloud​, @c-a-v-a-l-r-y​, @alievans007​, @ocfairygodmother​

She sleeps on the car ride from Broome, not even waking when he stops at a grocery store to pick up much needed supplies. One of his hoodies folded and being used as a pillow as her head rests against the window; body turned sideways, both legs draped across his thighs. She’s worn out; mentally AND physically.  The worry and the stress -and the enormity of the current situation- has caused a host of issues. Sleep problems, migraines, nausea, dizziness. Part of him wishes it WERE possible -even remotely- for her to be pregnant; another baby so soon after Addie would be a relief compared to the other scenarios running through his mind. He hates that his mind goes there’ into the dark and fatalistic place. Losing your first born will do that to you; strip away your optimism while heightening your paranoia.  Austin’s illness had blindsided him. What was suspected to be simply a stubborn and lingering flu bug turning out to something so much worse. The ferocity of his cancer had taken everyone -even the specialists- by surprise- and they’re been little they could do to contain it; to slow down the damage it was causing.  Three months. That’s all that remained between diagnosis and death. And it’s left a lot of mental trauma in its wake, even ten years later. It’s Tyler’s worst nightmare; the thought of losing her to something completely beyond his control. A threat like Mahajan is one thing. He can fight back against that; his own actions being what dictates the outcome. But a serious and possibly life altering -or even threatening- illness? Where there’s nothing he can to stop it from taking hold and progressing? That’s a thought that’s almost too much to bear.

When they arrive at their destination he leaves her in the car, giving himself the opportunity to perform a ‘search and secure’. It’s both old habit AND necessity. Anytime he’s away from home due to the job he thoroughly investigates his surroundings, whether they’re familiar or not. In that line of work you can never be too careful. Always assume that someone is watching; looking for the weak spot in your defences so they can take advantage of them. It’s just part of the game; his many years spent in a dangerous and unpredictable lifestyle have left a permanent mark. And he hates that there’s an actual NEED for it now. Theirs targets on their backs and not even this -the place that was once home- is safe. It’s a very real possibility that there’s someone, or even a number of  people, keeping their eyes on them. With Mahajan’s money, he can afford to hire the best. He won’t use street thugs or rookies that will only make mistakes. He’d send people that know how to get the job done.

While the old homestead is wide open, it DOES offer some sense of security A surprise attack would be near impossible to carry out. His hearing is sharp; he’d hear tires on the gravel, the squeak of the rusted metal gate, the crunching of dirt and stone under heavy feet.  The tree line is sparse and would provide little to no cover, and the mountains are rough and unforgiving even to those who are familiar with them. And even if someone did manage to navigate the terrain, they’d have to be one hell of a good shot. Not even the best of marksmen would find it easy; guys like G with extensive sniper experience.  And it’s those thoughts that give at least some sort of comfort. He’s experienced; confident in his strength and his skills. He knows the land; able to navigate it and use it to his advantage.

Mahajan would know that; his guys wouldn’t last long in the unfamiliar terrain and he would hesitate on sending them there. But there’s still a chance he would, and that’s not a gamble Tyler is willing to take.  So he checks the house and all of the outbuildings; anywhere that someone could possibly hide. And as he slowly and methodically walks the perimeter, his eyes scan the treeline and the mountain range; looking for anything that looks even remotely suspicious. His hearing is sharp and keen; listening for any unusual or unfamiliar noise.  There’s nothing. Just the faint rumble of thunder in the distance and the sounds of rustling trees and bushes as the breeze passes through them.

Esme’s awake when he returns; still sitting in the car and watching him through her side mirror. It’s why they work so well together. Not just her knowledge of the job and all the danger and unpredictability that comes with it, but her knowledge of HIM. After almost seven years, she knows how his mind works and trusts him -and his instincts- implicitly. She would have known upon waking and finding herself alone exactly what he was up to. And her own time in the game - her experience with working side by side with mercs and seeing how they think and operate- would have her staying where she is until the ‘all clear was given’. They always seem to be in sync with one another; common experiences and their shared life always ensuring that they function as a team. It’s what makes them as strong as they are together, he supposes. They know the other’s next moves before they even begin to execute them;  often aware of what the other is thinking or getting ready to say.

She waits until he’s a foot from the car before she pops open her door and steps out. “Everything good?” she asks, and then stretches noisily; bottom of her tank top rising up as she brings her arms over her head and revealing a slice of pale, smooth skin.

She complains about it often. Fretting over her stomach being nowhere as trim and smooth as it used to be. Lamenting the stretch marks that carrying five babies have left behind. And it’s not he’s never noticed them; often  tracing them with his fingers or the tip of his tongue. It’s that he doesn’t see them the way she does. Those so called imperfects are reminders; badges of honor. That she’d sacrificed her body to give him children. She’s carried life inside of her. That they’d made together. And that realization only makes her more beautiful in his eyes. You never fully appreciate how strong and selfless the woman you love is until you’ve seen her pregnant. And you don’t think you could possibly love her more than you already do and then she becomes a mother and everything intensifies.

“Everything’s good,” he confirms, and then lays a palm against her stomach and leans down to kiss her. Frowning when she pushes his hand away and then yanks down the front of her shirt. “What?”  She’s been extra self conscious since having Addie. Often refusing to even take off her shirt when they make love.

“You know I don’t like my tummy.”

“Well  I do. So…”

“You’re weird,” she says, and then moves his hand to her side when he once again attempts to lay it  against her stomach.

“YOU’RE weird.”

“Yeah, but you knew that seven years ago and you still married me. So you only have yourself to blame.”

“I’m pretty happy with my decision,” Tyler says, and covers her mouth with his.

The kiss is  slow and deep as his hand slides around to the small of her back and then down onto her ass; squeezing tightly as his body leans into hers and presses her into the side of the car.  Tasting a mixture of strawberry flavored lip gloss and a hint of the white wine she’d had on the plane. And while she’s the only woman he’s been intimate with -in any way or form- in the past seven years, no two kisses ever feel the same. Her lips are soft and familiar. The kind of  familiarity that is never dull or boring but always makes you feel welcome and safe. Like a favorite  hiding place as a child or that one sweater that is well worn and loved, yet still makes you warm and comfortable when you wear it. Every kiss...every touch...even every smile she gives him...brings him back to that. It feels like...home. And even after the kiss ends he stays tightly pressed against her, eyes closed as his hands move up to the middle of her back. Enjoying the feel of her body move against his as she perches on her tiptoes, her arms wrapped around his neck.

“So there were no bad guys lying in wait?” Esme teases, when he finally breaks away and tosses open the back passenger door. “Or did you already find and beat the shit out of them?”

“Now I know where Millie gets that talk from,” Tyler grins, as he pulls duffels and grocery bags from the back seat.

“She knows you’re an expert on kicking asses, just like I do. She knows there’s nothing you wouldn’t do to protect her.”

“I WILL  break someone in half if they mess with her. Any guy that breaks her heart is going to regret the day he was born.”

“Now you’re actually admitting she’ll eventually meet boys. That’s progress for you. You’re so worried about her, what are you going to do when your sons start having girls calling at all hours of the day? Or if they get someone pregnant and make us grandparents way too young.”

“I’ll kick their asses is what I’ll do. Tanner says he wants two wives when he grows up.”

“Men can’t keep one woman happy, never mind two at once. Present company excluded. You’ve become very good at towing the line and keeping me happy.”

“It’s not that hard. All I have to do is either say ‘yes dear’ or ‘no dear’ or even just smile and nod. I just have to bring you tacos, gets the snakes and spiders out of the house, clean the toilets, and fuck you good. I’ve managed so far, haven’t I?”

“Might not now that I know your secret,” she teases. “Although the last part you’ve always been excellent at. Even when things were really bad, that was always really good. And we least we have SOME consistency.”

She’s right. Even when things went to shit and were at their very worst and they were fighting and a permanent end seemed like a very real possibly, sex had been the one thing they could rely on. When all the arguing and the harsh words and the animosity were temporarily put on hold and the bodies did all the communicating for them.  It wasn’t a healthy way of dealing with things, but it was THEIR way of dealing.  And coping.

“****

“It hasn’t changed THAT much,” she comments; eyes surveying the exterior of the shack as they work together to carry the bags inside. “Other than a new roof and a touch of paint, it’s pretty much what I remember. Kind of weird, don’t you think? Being back here together?”

“Never thought about it.”

“Do you ever miss it? Being here?”

“Why would I? My life’s a lot better now.”

“You’re not for sentiment, are you. You don’t feel anything? Doesn’t it bring back ANY memories?”

“Other than the day we met? Not many.”

There’s not much to fondly look back on. When he was actually home, most of his days were spent in a booze and pain med induced haze. Or he was passed out. There are weeks, even months, that he can’t remember, aside from taking any job Nik brought his way; devoting himself to one suicide mission after another.

“Everything was shit before you came along,” Tyler admits, as he presses his back against the door to hold it open. “I was shit. You wouldn’t have wanted to know me. I don’t think you realize just how big of a mess I actually was.”

Dhaka changed everything. Most just the moments on the bridge and getting shot by Farhad or the months of recovery forcing him to get clean and sober. Or finding out that he was having a kid.  But those five days in that dirty hotel room. When he actually started feeling alive again instead of simply just existing.

“I think you’re too hard on yourself,” Esme counters as she steps past him, intentionally too close so her  body slides against his and the back of her hand brushes over the front of his shorts. “I know you had your issues, but you weren’t a lost cause. Look how far you’ve come in seven years. If you’d really wanted to give up...if you'd really wanted to die...you would have found a way to do it long before I came along.”

“Maybe,” he says, as he drops the duffel bags in the bedroom area and then joins her in the kitchen where she begins putting the groceries away.

“There had to be some reason you didn’t do it,” she reasons. “If you were THAT  bad off and wanted to die, you would have done it. You had guns in the house; you could have used them and just been done with it.”

“Maybe I was just a coward and couldn’t get up the balls to do it myself.”

“I don’t believe that. You are not a coward. You’re the furthest thing from being a coward. A coward doesn’t do the things you do. A coward runs away from those things, or they’re the ones that cause them in the first place. Guys like Asif and Mahajan? They’re the cowards. Getting other people to do their dirty work; preying on the vulnerable, ruining lives. You get people away from guys like that. You try to stop these things. You aren’t  a coward.”

“I thought we weren’t going to talk about Mahajan? Or the job.”

“I’m trying to make a point. My husband is NOT a coward. You’re basing that off of one mistake you made. You were twenty five years old when Austin died. You made a bad decision. A horrible decision. But do you pay for it for the rest of your life? You’re a different person now. Say one of our kids get sick.”

“Esme…”

“I know it’s your worst fear, but hear me out. Hypothetically speaking, if one of them got sick, would you take off? Or if I got sick. Would you haul ass on out of here?”

“Of course not. I’m not who I was back then.”

“Exactly. Way back then. When you were thirty one and had a shitty wife that had seen more pricks than a pin cushion.”

He can’t help but chuckle at that. “That’s a pretty accurate description, actually.”

“You’re almost forty one now.” she continues. “You’re NOT the same guy. At all. And you’re not a coward. You never have been. You know how you always say I need to stop talking shit about myself and try to see myself through your eyes? Well you should do the same. Because the way you look at yourself? That is not the way I look at you. Or how your kids look at you. You’re not a bad person, Tyler.  Regardless of what you think.”

He steps behind her now, reaching over her to help put things on the shelves she can’t reach.

“Something inside of you told you to stay alive.” she says. “Maybe it was telling you that things were going to get better. Maybe it was saying there was something...someone...out there that was going to give you a reason to keep going. I don’t know. But I do know that if you had really wanted to die, you would have done it.”

“I think you think too much about stuff like this.”

“You knew what I was like. You had your chance to get away and you didn’t take it. Now look. Now look how deep you’re stuck in it.”

“Yeah…” he lays his hands on her shoulders, kneading and massaging the tight muscles. “...five kids is pretty deep in it.”

“You think?” she scoffs.

“You know what would put me even deeper in it? Six kids.”

Esme turns around to face him, leaning back against the cupboards, hands on the counter top. “We are NOT talking about that either. It’s way too soon after Addie. She’s only five weeks old.”

“Millie was only eight weeks old when you got pregnant with the boys,” he reminds her.

“Even if we wanted another one this soon, we can’t. That can’t happen because we decided no more babies after Addie and you went and got the old…” she holds up a hand and mimics scissors open and closing with her index and middle finger.

“I’ll call the doctor when we get back. See what has to be done.”

“This is not the time to be talking about this.”

“Seems like as good a time as any. It’s just me and you. No one to interrupt.”

“You know what I’m talking about. With everything that’s happening right now, with everything that IS going to happen, this is not the time to be talking about having another baby.”

She doesn’t need to say it; the implication hanging heavily in the air. Every job you take on is unpredictable. Each one comes with its own set of hazards and burdens. Not once has he gotten out of one without some kind of injury; whether it be as simple as stitches or a concussion or a busted nose or a broken bone. Sometimes things were worse; knife wounds, bullets you have to dig  out of various parts of your body. But what’s coming up...Mumbai...it’s as dangerous and risky as it gets. There’s no real game plan; just arm yourself to the teeth and hope for the best. But she’s right. It isn't the time to talk about adding to their family. Or even consider it. Because nothing would be worse than deciding to go for it and then him not making it back home.

“When you get back,” she says, as her hands slide across his shoulders and down his chest, a somewhat confident smile curving her lips. “Once you get things done and you’re home, then we’ll discuss it. Once everything is finished and calm and we don’t worry about this anymore.” Her hands reach his waist, slipping under the front of his t-shirt and resting on his belt. “I mean, there will ALWAYS be something to worry about now that you’re back in things and we have the business and…”

“But nothing like this. This? Everything that’s going on? This is…”

“Fucked?”

“That’s one way of putting it.”

“Things will be okay” her smile is brighter now; eyes sparkling up at him. “You’ll go there and you’ll do what you need to do, and then you’ll come home. And then things can go back to normal. Our version of normal.”

He nods in agreement, his bottom lip between his teeth as he combs his fingers through her hair and then tucks it behind her ears.

“Don’t look at me like that,” she says, as his hands come to rest on her shoulders and his thumbs brush along her jaw. “I know that look, Tyler. I’ve seen that look before. That’s the look you gave me before you sent me off with Ovi and Saju, That EXACT same look. And we both know how things almost ended that THAT time.”

He wants to tell her that everything is going to be okay. That it’s as simple as picking a name from a list and tracking their owners down. But the truth of the matter is that nothing is ever that easy. Every job comes with complications and its glitches no matter how boring and routine they’re supposed to be. He might manage to get to two or three of the guys before Mahajan catches on and realizes who is responsible. After that the bounty on his head will increase significantly and moving around the city without being recognized will be complicated. Every gun in Mumbai will be trained on him, and that’s a hell of a thing to escape.

“You promise me,” she orders. “You promise me you’re coming home.”

He shakes his head. “I can’t. I’m sorry, I just can’t.”

“Promise me,” she demands, both hands yanking at his belt, pulling him closer to her. “Promise me, Tyler.”

“I can’t,” he says, then presses a kiss to her forehead before drawing her into his arms.

****

They lay in a mess of tangled and rumbled sheets and sweat soaked limbs; stifling heat and the smell of sex hanging heavily in the air.  Both sated and spent and resting on their sides, her back tucked into his front, their tightly joined hands resting on next to her head. Bodies and hair damp from perspiration; one of his thicker and heavier legs draped over hers and the top of his nose pressed against the nape of her neck. He can’t remember a time where he’s felt THIS relaxed; every muscle, every tendon, every ligament feeling loose and at ease. The pain in his back, shoulder, and knee nothing more than a light throbbing; a far cry from the stiffness and the agony that often makes getting out of bed in the morning seen like an insurmountable chore. Yet his senses remain sharp. Hearing her soft, slow breathing and the fluttering and flapping of the curtains as the breeze flows through open windows. Smelling the mix of sweat and other bodily fluids and the remnants of shampoo that cling to her hair. Still tasting her on his lips and his tongue and feeling the softness of her skin with her back against his chest and his thumb repeatedly brushing against hers.

These moments...the stillness and the quiet that exist after they make love...are rare these days. Their lives busy and full; the demands of raising a family often stripping away any real alone time and any form of true intimacy. There’s no one to blame for that; it is what it is. They often forget that their roles in each other’s lives extend far past just making babies and taking care of them together. And he’s missed these times. When things aren’t so hectic and their lives don’t seem so chaotic and all they have to worry about is each other. It’s been almost six years since they’ve been child free. Almost seven since those five days in Dhaka.

Of all the shitty and horrible things that had happened there…all the lives taken...how close he’d come to his own demise…it’s still nice to think about those moments in that cramped and dirty hotel room. Where he’d felt the first of the walls he’d built up around slowly crumbling down around him. It was the first time in years that he’d felt THAT alive. Where someone didn’t look at him with disgust or pity. He’d always seen on Nik’s face; written as plain as day.   How disappointed she was in him; how big of a mess he’d made of himself and his life. Yet she’d never balked when it came to fucking him. Maybe she’d seen it as a form of charity; believing she was doing him a favor and lowering her standards by hooking up with the hired help.  Yet in Dhaka, with Esme, he’d been both surprised -and slightly terrified- at how well they connected. It had never been that smooth and easy, especially with a woman. He’d spent years avoiding forming bonds with who he slept with; leaving almost as soon as the deed was finished and never looking back.

It had been different. SHE had been different. And he found he smiled more when he was around her. Laughed easier. He didn’t feel judged for his choice of career or the mistakes he’d made; especially when his son was dying. He found he liked the sound of her voice and the feel of her body pressed against his in bed and the way she’d smile at him whenever he returned to the room. Dhaka had been the first time where he actually enjoyed the moments after sex. Those sleepy conversations and how easy it was to share even the deepest and darkest of secrets with her.  And on the fourth day he’d found himself actually hopeful about something; confident that once they were out of Bangladesh and away from the job, they could make something out of whatever the hell was happening between them. It SHOULD have been just another job. Get the information, get out, get home. But it had quickly turned into something so much more. Two broken and damaged people somehow finding comfort and solace during such a crazy, unpredictable time.

“Tyler?” she asks now, and his eyes snap open and he presses a kiss to the back of her head.

“Yeah?”

“Are you awake?”

“Would I have answered if I wasn’t?”

“Don’t be such a smart ass,” she grumbles.

He chuckles into her hair. “I’m awake..”

“I think we should agree right now that we never…ever…tell Koen we christened his kitchen table.”

He laughs. “I agree.”

It had been intense. A brief but heated argument over his refusal to promise he was coming home turning into a quick hard fuck; her bent over the table and her hair clutched tightly in his first. The second time -after carrying her to bed still buried inside of her- had been slow and lazy; wandering hands and long, deep kisses and two rounds of foreplay followed languid, attentive love making.

“You finally got your kitchen table fantasy fulfilled,” she says. “Only took you seven years. Was it what you imagined it would be?”

He smiles against the back of her neck. “It was even better.”

“It’s weird being here with you.”

“Yeah?” He places a kiss to her shoulder, then her temple. “Why?”

“Not weird in a bad way. Just weird. This is where we met. Almost seven years ago. And we’re here and we’re totally different than we were back then. In so many ways.”

He nods in agreement. “If anyone had have told me that my fake wife would end up my real wife, I would have told them they were fucking crazy. That was the last thing I ever thought I’d do again. Get married.”

“I told myself I never WOULD  do it again. That there wasn’t any man on the planet that could convince me   to try it a second time. And...well...look where we are now.”

“Guess I should be lucky that Gaspar was out of the game. That’s who Nik went to first.”

“Oh god,” Esme groans. “I would have had to have been fake married to HIM?”

“Afraid so.”

“Well my Dhaka experience would have gone entirely differently  if that had happened. Because there was no way he would have gotten the same treatment you did.”

Tyler grins and nuzzles the tip of his  nose against her ear, then kisses it. “He wasn’t your type?”

“Eww! No! What is wrong with you? I do have standards, you know. Thank God he said no. I’m going to have nightmares now. Thanks, Tyler.”

“I’ll help you sleep better.”

“I’m sure you will. You know, to be fair, I didn’t want to be fake married to anyone. I thought the entire thing sounded ridiculous.”

“See. We DO agree on things.”

“I’m just glad you turned out better than I thought you would.”

“How you mean?”

“You know how you hear stories and rumours about someone and you create a picture in your mind? Of what they’re going to look like?”

Tyler nods.

“Well you totally did NOT look like what I pictured.”

“What did you picture?”

“I thought you’d be older. Much older. Rough looking. Weathered. Mean, even. I was not expecting you to look like you do. I was pleasantly surprised, to say the least. I changed my mind very quick about Nik’s idea.”

“You at least knew beforehand. I had it dropped on me. And she was fucking sneaky about it, too. Had me agreeing to get the kid before telling me about everything else. I didn’t have a choice after that. I was in whether I liked it or not. I couldn’t exactly back out.”

“Yeah, I saw the look on your face. When Nik talked about what she wanted us to do. You were NOT happy.”

“I’d already been real married,” he says. “Why would I want to be fake married?”

“Well for one, it doesn’t cost money to get a fake divorce.”

He grins. “Good point.”

“Was it THAT awful? The thought of being fake married to me? To be THAT pissed about it? Geez. Thanks.”

“That’s not what I was pissed about. It was the whole thing. The whole idea. It seemed fucked up. It still seems fucked up when I think about it. But it wasn’t about you. It was NEVER about you.”

“It scared you. Knowing you’d have to be THAT close to someone. You didn’t like that idea, did you? That I’d be that close. You were worried about what I’d think about you. If I saw you drinking and taking the meds. You didn’t want me seeing all of that. Seeing YOU.”

“That’s pretty much it,” Tyler agrees.

“But you still went along with it. You could have changed your mind.”

“I could have. But I didn’t. What guy is going to turn down five days in a hotel room with you?”

She snorts. “Bold of you to just assume that I��d sleep with you.”

“I didn’t assume anything. I was a little hopeful. I’ll admit that.”

“Just a little?”

“I was there to do a job. Not get laid. But someone couldn’t keep their hands to themselves.”

“I am not accepting blame for any of it,” Esme laughs. “You made the first move. You’re the one that had me pressed up against a wall. With your hand around my throat.”

“That wasn't a sexual ploy. I was pissed.”

“You were so hot. IT was so hot.”

He chuckles.

“And you kissed me first, so…”

“You kissed me back. You could have punched me in the face or kneed me in the dick. But you didn’t. You went along with it. So you’re just as much to blame as I am.”

“Bullshit!” she argues. “You seduced me and you know it, Tyler.”

“You and I remember that day very differently.”

“You seduced me with your stupidly handsome face and your stupidly ripped body and stupidly beautiful blue eyes.”

He grins and presses a kiss to her shoulder. “Sorry.”

“They were the first thing I noticed about you,” she says. “Your eyes.  I was on the porch with the dog, and when I looked up you were watching me. At first you were so intense and then you actually smiled at me. It was a little smile, but it was still a smile.”

“I liked what I saw.”

“I remember thinking ‘god he has beautiful eyes’. And then you turned around to say something to Nik and I got to see that you had a really nice ass too. I was sold right there and then. Beautiful eyes and an ass that looks like that? Sign me up. Maybe this fake husband thing won’t be so bad after all.  And then I noticed the hair and the arms and the hands.”

“The hands?”

“You have beautiful hands.”

Frowning, his fingers release the grip on hers and he holds his hand out with the fingers played. Palm down first, then up. “You call that beautiful?”   The calluses, the misshapen  knuckles; the scars from surgeries, various fights, knife wounds, and from when he’d repeatedly yanked out his IV in the hospital.

“Very beautiful,” she says, and places her palm flat against his; the size difference in their hands both surreal and humorous. “Because they’re your hands. They’re Tyler’s hands. I know what they’re capable of and I know how they feel.  I’ve seen them braid a little girl’s hair and rock babies to sleep and clean skinned knees. They’re very beautiful hands.”

Smiling, he lifts his head long and presses a kiss to the corner of her mouth. “You were so different,” he recalls. “Than anyone I’d ever met. Especially out here.”

“Different in a good way or…?”

“A very good way. I didn’t know who you were or what you were doing here, but all of sudden you were out there on my porch and  I was watching you and listening to you with my dog. It was almost like it wasn’t real. Mind you, I was pretty fucked up on booze and Oxy and it would have made sense if I’d been hallucinating.”

She gives a small, dry laugh.

“But you were. Different.  I saw the ink and the piercings and those huge dark eyes and I thought ‘fuck, she’s cute’.”

She groans.

“There is nothing wrong with being called cute. You WERE cute. You still are. You were cute and you were small and you had all those piercings and all those tats. Like part good girl, part bad girl. Certainly wasn’t expecting the likes of you to wander through my door that day. I’m glad you did though.”  He presses a kiss to her temple. “VERY glad you did. Sorry I was such a dick.”

“You were fine. You seemed more annoyed with Nik than with me. And you offered me a drink. Two drinks, actually.”

“I knew the second you downed the first one that I was in trouble.”

She laughs at that, then rolls over to face him.  “I have a confession to make.”

“Okay…”

“Promise me you won’t laugh?”

“Why would I laugh?”

“It’s a little...I don’t know...weird. Maybe even a little off putting.”

“Alright…”

“That night...when Nik and I got back to the hotel in Fitzroy Crossing...I was going to call you.”

“For what?”

She arches both eyebrows and stares at him pointedly.

“Oh…oh...THAT. You were going to call for THAT.”

“I was,” she admits, and then buries her face in his chest and giggles.

“Why didn’t you?”

“I have a huge fear of rejection. If I’d called and you said no…”

“I would NOT have said no.”

“...it would have made working together extremely awkward.”

He pushes a hand through her hair; those fine, soft, dark tresses slipping slowly through his fingers. “You should have called.”

“You would have showed up?”

“I definitely would have showed up.”

“Wouldn’t it have made things weird between us? If we’d hooked up that night, wouldn’t it have made working together...I don’t know...difficult?”

“Why would I? I still would have fucked you in Dhaka. That wouldn’t have changed.”

“Change one thing, everything changes. You always say that.”

“I don’t think THAT would have changed. Why wouldn’t I have wanted to in Dhaka? You think I would have been able to stop at one night? You’re underestimating your own skills.”

“What if you’d been disappointed? What if you showed up in Fitzroy Crossing and the sex sucked and you didn’t want more once we got to Dhaka?”

“That wouldn’t have happened.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I DO know that. I wasn’t disappointed the first time in Dhaka, right?”

“That’s a very good point. I’ll give you that. But…”

“There’s no buts. I would have showed up, I wouldn’t have disappointed, and things would have stayed the same in Dhaka. We wouldn’t have Millie if things DIDN’T happen Dhaka.”

“She’s the only good thing that came out of that place.”

“I don’t know about that. We’re pretty good.”

“Yes,” she smiles. “We ARE pretty good. I think we’re very good, actually.”

“We have our moments,” he agrees.

“We have more really good moments than we have bad moments. It’s just that we remember the bad before we remember the good.” She skims the knuckles of one hand along his jaw. “You’re letting it get longer. You’re unleashing your inner lumberjack again.”

“That’s how you like it best, right? You don’t like it like it when I trim it back.”

“I much prefer it like this. How it was when we met. Your hair’s growing in too. We’ll have to shave the back and the sides while we’re here.”

“I don’t ever want to hear you say I never do anything nice for you,” he chides.

“You shockingly do a lot of nice things for me. For a guy that’s such a bad ass that kills people with garden tools.”

Smirking, he wraps an around her waist and rolls onto his back, pulling her onto top of him. “You’re obsessed with that.”

“As psycho as it’s going to make me sound, it’s kind of a turn on. When I think about you kicking the shit out of people and getting all ragey and violent. I kind of like that side of you. Knowing what you’re capable of on the job.  Probably because I know what you’re like when you’re NOT on the job and how different the two sides are. They’re both sexy in their own way. Job Tyler and domestic Tyler.”

“I think you have issues.”

“I do,” she grins, and pecks his lips. “A  six foot three, two hundred and thirty pound issue.”

“I think I’m hovering at two forty. Maybe two forty five,”

“It’s your ginormous arms and shoulders and your big ass thighs. Sexy, big ass thighs, mind you. And your butt. It’s  a great butt.”

“You said that already.”

“Great butts need to be told they’re great butts,” she reasons.

“This…” he runs his hands down her back and grabs her ass, fingers digging into the soft flesh. “...is a great butt.”

“Not as great as it used to be,” she pouts. “ Having five kids will do that to you.”

“It’s still a great butt to me.”

“You’re very biased.”

“Maybe. But it doesn’t make it less true.”  

Smiling, she slides further up her body and kisses him. Soft and slow at first, then more demanding; tongue eagerly pushing its way into his mouth, fingers tightly gripping his hair as his own continue and squeeze and fondle the cheeks of her ass. And a low growl  rumbles deep in his chest when she grinds her pelvis against his and he feels the stirring of his erection.

“You’re demanding.” he grins, fingertips digging almost painfully into her ass as she kisses and nibbles her away along his jaw, slowly making her way upwards.

“I think you should make love to me again,” she whispers into his ear, then traces the outer edge with the tip of her tongue.

Groaning, he lifts his hips from the bed, pressing his rapidly hardening cock against her before gripping her hips and flipping her over onto her back.  A smirk on his face as both his hands and his mouth slowly descend her body, starting at the valley between her breasts.  

“I think so too.”

#tyler rake #tyler rake fan fic #tyler rake fan fiction #extraction #best part of me #chris hemsworth character

[toloveawarlord]

Pt. 2

Wow, to be honest, I was astounded by how well received part one was! Thank you so much for loving Alara as much as I do!

This took a while and the word count is nearly 3,000 so strap in for a long one. I struggled to find the perfect spot to end this one so it’s a bit longer than part 1.

Tagging: @plumpblueberry for always supporting me and @ihavenotfallenyet who asked to be tagged! ^_^

The cracks of thunder rattled the mansion with its monstrous noise, causing her chest to tighten with each boom, as if it stepped in time with the stomps of her stepfather growing ever closer. Any second he would appear, ripping her away from this place. Alara all but jumped into Arthur’s lap when the door was thrown open. Her small hands trembling as they clutched onto the sleeve of his jacket.

“There was no need to come through my window like that!” The irritation in his voice pointed to the other resident beside him that wore clothes she was not familiar with.

“Newt, old boy, you’ve given the girl a fright,” Arthur chastised with a grin to lighten the heavy cloud hanging over the child. As her grip lessened, he hooked a finger under her chin to get her full attention. “Those two live here as well. There’s not a need for those teary eyes, yeah?”

“I’ve told you to stop calling me that. My name is Isaac.” Taking the chair beside Arthur, Isaac glanced at the child out of his peripheral vision. Sebastian hadn’t given a real reason as to why he wanted an old shirt, but it was clearly the one she wore.

The other man approached her chair directly. “Ahh, a wonderful little soul has found her way into our humble home. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Saki-chan.” He took one of her hands and brought it to his lips for a gentle kiss, bringing a smile to her face once again.

“That’s not my name, mister.” Alara answered, giggling at his antics, nonetheless. Everyone that she had met were so kind to her, having so much attention had her worries scattered away. If only momentarily, she was happy.

Sebastian interrupted the commotion, wheeling out a cart of delicious foods of all varieties. “Please, have a seat, dinner is already late.” The hint of disapproval in his voice didn’t deter the young girl from returning to her pancakes.

The chatter around the table remained light, talks of their days and giving information about themselves led the child into the conversation. Allowing her to decide what she might tell them about herself. None wanted to bring that terrified expression back to her, even without knowing the extent of the circumstances.

Alara perfectly fit in with the lot, finding their professions and personalities intriguing, a mismatched bunch. Never in her short life had so many different people been in one room. The comfortable feeling settling inside her brought an ache along with it, but she didn’t know why. Like she’d been stuck in a China glass house, snatched right out of a doll shop.

Her swiping of the syrup off her cleared plate was interrupted with door opening once again. There were more men living here, and the lively atmosphere hadn’t broken around her, so a moment passed before the electricity in the air began to spark around her.

One word.

Her own name… in that voice…

It shattered the glass house around her, bringing the raging storm crashing down around the ruins. Her shoulders rose, head ducking down as if avoiding the ceiling that would crash atop her at any second.

The slush of each step like the strike of a whip against her skin. She shrunk down into the chair with every squish of his soaked shoes, lower into the seat as if wishing it would swallow her up and take her far away from him. Her fingers entangled in her raven locks, twisting hard to prove that this was real. Green eyes wide open, afraid of what happen should she shut them, but never rising from the view of her own lap.

“I’m terribly sorry for the trouble she’s caused you.”

Apologizing. Always apologizing on her behalf. Why? Why did every choice she make result in her mother apologizing about her? She followed the rules, yet it never stopped his constant shouting at her, never dissuaded that whip he wielded with the sharp tip. Begging, pleading, her mother on her knees, hands clasped.

Apologizing.

He’d never once ceased because of those words.

“I’ve been out in the storm searching all over, worried that something terrible had happened. I’m Oscar Arnette, her father, well, step-father but I love her like she was my own.” He spoke with a laugh, as if relieved to have found her. A fake smile plastered across his face.

You should have never brought her here! All she does is cause me grief!

Keep her locked in her room!

You foolish, insolent child!

Those were words of love? Words spit at her as if she were a speck of dirt marring his clean home, one he couldn’t wash away. Yelled in anger, in absolute hatred, tearing her heart and mind into crumbled pieces.

That is love?

Look at you! My beautiful girl! Come give your mama a big hug!

You are more special than any of the stars in the sky!

Her mother’s words. So differently spoken, always with a warm smile as bright as the sun itself, that chased away all the bad memories from her day. The only one who looked at Alara as a child that was wanted.

“I’m so confused,” Her whisper barely audible at all. Oscar’s calm tone explaining how he’d come to find her clashed louder than the thunder above with her memories etched with his shouting on those days he beat her till she went numb. Did he love her? Was that love?

Napoleon rose from his chair, blocking his advancement towards her. Heavy tension fell over the silent room. A declaration that they did not intend to simply let him take her. “It would be wise for you to keep your distance.

The other residents in the room were watching the intruder just as carefully. It brought a hushed pause, no one making the first move. Le Comte assessed the situation before him. The genuine fear radiating from the girl shielding herself came from years of mistreatment. This man, the source. “Shall we have a chat, Monsieur Oscar, in my study perhaps?”

“Oh no, there’s no need. Alara, you’ve caused enough trouble for these gentlemen. Come along, now.” His hand reached towards her, intent on taking her with him this instant.

So many times, those hands brought her nothing but pain. Her body reacted before she thought her actions through. Ducking under the table, the carpet caught her small frame, roughly jarring her from the impact. The very notion of him touching her crawled across her skin like a thousand bugs.

She did not want to go with him. If his actions reflected love, then she never wanted to experience love again.

A resigned sigh came from Oscar as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “That’s enough theatrics.” He paused, searching for the perfect words to draw her out.

“I believe you’re confusing theatrics with terror, old boy,” Arthur replied, not a drop of humor in his words. No one should strike that much fear into a child. He remained in his seat, arm outstretched to the now empty chair beside him, another barrier for the man to overcome before he would ever reach the girl.

Oscar feigned a graceful smile. “You must be careful with this one. Her imagination runs extremely rampant, causing all the fuss amongst my staff and guests. Just the other day she proclaimed the maids and butlers’ demons that must be slayed by her own hands. It’s extraordinary what children dream up–”

Dazai leaned forward to rest his arms against the table’s edge, a sly smile upon his lips. He could see right through the act before him. “Alara-chan only sows the seeds of truth that are blooming in all their sorrowful beauty, grown by the pain endured. While you, sir, only reap the strongest of vines with thorns slick with all your lies.”

“Preposterous. You’re believing a child’s fantasies!”

“My job requires me to spot a fake from the real thing and you are the most blatantly fake man I’ve ever encountered,” Theo interjected, blue eyes narrowed in pure disgust. Men like him were the lowest.

Oscar remained composed, though all could see the cracks growing ever larger with the passing of every second. “It’s time to go, child. Don’t you want to see your mother?” A last resort but it yielded the results he sought.

“Mama? She-” The quivering girl didn’t come out, but the hope in her voice was evident. It drew out an ache from all the residents, her innocent belief that for once, the truth was being told to her.

“Yes, yes. You can see her again if you come with me.” Sweet and empty words twisted as skillfully as a spider’s web meant to lull the struggling moth into its clutches.

Napoleon seized his arm as he moved to reach for her again. The seasoned soldier, the emperor, could spot the deceit dripping from every inch of the man. Words always meant something, and to see them being twisted into false hope made Napoleon ill. “Tell me how you became so splayed with blood.”

Oscar’s clothes drenched with bloodstains that not even the storm could wash away from him. His irritation had grown, no more faked smiles. “I’ll insist that you release me. I am taking what belongs to me and will be on my way.”

“She isn’t–” Isaac spoke up, eyes downcast at his lap but anger rising in him. “Alara isn’t your property that you can just claim and take away.” Kids were a mystery to him, but each time she smiled and asked him a question about himself, Isaac had felt warm and… happy.

The Frenchman could hardly fathom why these strangers were protecting a brat that they hardly knew. What could they possibly gain from this? He rolled his shoulders, giving a breathy laugh. “Ah, it must be a reward you are after. Name your price and-”

“I assure you, Monsieur, no payment is required. Her well-being is our priority.” Comte cut him off, an edge to his voice.

“Her well-being?” How much had the mousy child told them? The rage boiling up inside him became too much, overpowering his need to save face.

None of them could have predicted his next choice of action.

Oscar lunged, surprising the seasoned solider, and clambered wildly to the girl under the table. From the lining of his soaked jacket, he slashed a sharpened knife at her. “I’ll punish you thoroughly when we’ve returned to my home,” He growled through clenched teeth.

Alara reeled back, squealing in pain at the slice of the blade across her shin. Her entire being petrified at the crazed glint in his eyes.

Everyone moved at the same time. Chairs were knocked backwards, slamming into the carpet. Napoleon grabbed the collar of Oscar’s jacket, roughly tossing him away from the table and onto the floor.

Vincent had taken the girl in his arms, cradling her like a bride to keep her secure. “It’s alright, I’ve got you.” he had her tight, turning his back to the scene to shield her from view. He kept his rage hidden well behind a reassuring smile.

Oscar staggered but rose to his feet, only to be at the end of Napoleon’s drawn sword. He held up empty hands. “Give her to me and this will all be over.” Oscar cursed himself letting her escape his grasp once again.

“Down, put me down,” Alara whined over and over, struggling against the painter to no avail. She couldn’t remain here. He’d ignited her fears tenfold.

Vincent held her tighter, voice soothingly soft. “You don’t need to run again. You’re safe with us.”

“I’ll advise you to take a seat, Monsieur Oscar. We will have a civil discussion.” Comte left no room for argument. He’d seen quite enough. It’s no surprise she climbed through their kitchen window seeking refuge from this man. “Vincent, take Alara up to the guest room. Children need not be present for this.”

****

Her soft sniffs were all that filled the bedroom for a moment. Arthur and Isaac had followed after the painter, who still had the girl sitting on his lap. She’d refused to be put down. He gently brushed his fingers through her raven locks, slowly calming her down.

Arthur had her wounded leg stretched out, resting against his knee. The cut hadn’t been very deep, but the once doctor took his time cleaning the blood away and wrapping it with a bandage. “There all finished,” Arthur flashed her a warm smile.

Isaac stood awkwardly to the side. He could hardly find the words to say, nothing seemed appropriate.

All three men were visibly worried about how this would end. The display of the stepfather had rattled them, too. Comte would resolve the issue, but then what? Where would the little girl go with no family to send her to?

Soft rapping at the door drew all their attention. Locked from the inside for extra safety didn’t stop the tension from rising once again, but it fell again as Napoleon entered the room. “Jean agreed to stay with Comte.” He didn’t say it, but he’d come as added protection. As if reading the room, Napoleon smiled reassuringly. “Don’t fret, Alara. He’ll be gone soon.”

Alara bit her lip. She desperately wanted to believe him, but they didn’t know her stepfather as she did. He always got what he wanted. And… he wanted to hurt her. Even in this room surrounded by strong men, she didn’t feel safe.

Arthur clapped his hands together to gain all the attention back on him. “Why don’t you play a game with me, hm?”

“What kind of game?” Her curious interest bringing a more relaxed atmosphere.

“A guessing game.” Arthur held up a gloved finger. “I’m going to guess something about you, and you tell me if I’m right or wrong. It’s very simple, isn’t it?” There were many gaps to fill in about her and how she came into this situation.

Her head bobbed in response. The writer successfully had taken her mind off the earlier events.

“I’m guessing that you came from a very different country than France.” His first question not really one that had taken much to figure out.

Alara gave a soft yes, eyes darting around the room as if imagining what her home had been before coming to France. Not a home near as a grand this, nor the one that her and her mama had been brought to. “We left home when I was three. I liked it there. It was just me and Mama.”

Three years in this country. Three long years with that brute of a man causing her physical and mental harm.

She shielded a yawn with her hand, the adrenaline wearing away and replaced by exhaustion. The hour growing later, evident in the soft chime of the clock on the wall, signaling a new day.

“Why don’t you lie down?” Vincent shifted to make room under the covers but softly chuckled at her refusal.

A soft no. Alara leaned her cheek against his chest, fingers gripping his sleeve to pull his arm back around to cradle her against him. Safe. Within his arm, she could nearly say she felt completely safe.

“My second guess is that you don’t really like France, do you?” Arthur drew her attention back to him. He wasn’t so much guessing as leading her into a topic. Kids had few filters, so maybe she’d let more slip than she would realize.

“Mm… I miss our old home. Mama would take me out to the market or to the lake sometimes. Here… I could only go in the backyard for a few minutes.”

Stun fell over the room. Not only had she endured suffering at the hands of a monster, but the little girl had been trapped inside a home where she received little more than the bare necessities to survive.

Napoleon leaned back against the wall, finding it harder to sit here and do nothing when the culprit sat downstairs sipping tea with Comte. He listened to Arthur ask her more questions, each one leading into a topic more serious than the last, and her answers growing more heart wrenching.

He says that should someone see me; he doesn’t want to be bothered by stupid questions. I’m not allowed to play with the nice dresses on.

Sometimes if I’m bad, I have to stay in my room all day. It’s small and the window is too high for me to reach. And… it’s really cold. I don’t like it in there.

By not saying many words, she said so much. Topics about her old home would light her up for a moment, remembering the times before France. In a child so young, the four nearly couldn’t bear to watch that innocence fade from her green eyes, replaced by fear and worry.

She fought against sleep as hard as she could, but the soothing petting of the painter holding her had lulled her under. Vincent carefully put her in the bed, under the warm covers, gazing down at her. “This isn’t right.”

A light rap at the door. Napoleon warily unlocked it, hand on the hilt of his sword. Sebastian stood on the other side, no changes in his typical demeanor. He’d only come to deliver a message.

“M. Le Comte has called for a house meeting. Everyone is to be in attendance in the dining hall in 5 minutes.”

#alara has already won some of them over #i mean who wouldn't love her #ikemen vampire #ikevamp #ikevamp comte #ikevamp napoleon #ikevamp theo #ikevamp dazai #ikevamp vincent #ikevamp arthur #ikevamp sebastian #alara bayar #and so they met pt 2 #comte adopts a child #comtes future daughter #papa comte

[ariaadagio]

Tagged by a @thewollfgang :D  Thanks!  This one looks fun!

1.  Do you make your bed?

Why waste time?  

2. What’s your favorite number?

Five!

3. What’s your job?

I’m Ella Lopez IRL (aka a far more boring, more specialized person who performs exactly one of the, like, 27 different jobs Ella represents).

4. Can you parallel park?

Nope.  The state I grew up in didn’t require it on the driving test and now my car has such big blind spots ... forget it.  I mean ... I know the theory on how to do it, so if I had a gun to my head, I probably could manage (poorly), but, yeah.  No.

5. A job you had which would surprise people?

My guess would be the Ella Lopez IRL bit is the most surprising.  

6. Do you think aliens are real?

Yes.  But ... not like ... little green men.  More like, I’d be shocked if there isn’t some protozoa on some planet somewhere.  

7. Can you drive a manual car?

Oh, yes.  Learned on stick.  I own/drive a Camaro—stick shift is like ... requisite. 

8. What’s your guilty pleasure?

Reading trashy paranormal romance novels.  Eating raw cookie dough.  Watching television all day when I’m stressed or tired.  

9. Tattoos?

Nope.

10. Favorite color?

Blue!

11. Things people do that drive you crazy?

All the things.  

I’m not a people person.  

Hah.  

No, seriously, um ... cranking subwoofers beyond reasonable levels.  Camping in the left lane.  Fucking accelerating whenever you try to pass them.  Confusing misandry with feminism.  Ignoring science.  Cracking knuckles.  Picky eating that’s not caused by some kind of illness or allergy.  PLAYING.  YOUR STUPID.  LOUD.  SHIT.  WITHOUT.  HEADPHONES.  No, I don’t want to fucking listen to your entitled child playing video gaLSKDJG:LSDKJG:LSKDJG  

Um ... okay, yeah.  

All the things.

12. Any phobias?

Sharks.  Spiders.  Failure.  Looking like an idiot.  Death.  (Hi, anxiety disorder.)

13. Favorite childhood sport?

Tossup between basketball and horseback riding.

14. Do you talk to yourself?

A little bit.  Not when I’m around other people though.  My coworker does this thing where he narrates his entire fucking day to me and it makes me want to murder things—so help me if I ever do that to someone else.  That maybe belongs under #11, I guess.  Oops.

15. What movies do you adore?

I’m not really a movie person.  I guess the original Star Wars trilogy, before George Lucas started fucking with everything to make it “better.”  Oh, hey, more for #11.

16. Do you like puzzles?

Yasssssss, gimme!  One of my favorite things to do when I visit my parents is to do puzzles with my dad.

17. Favorite kind of music?

I am super eclectic.  Classic rock and various sub-genres of electronic seem to be my home base though.  

18. Tea or coffee?

Ew.

19. What’s the first thing you remember you wanted to be when you grew up?

A horse trainer.

Hmm, I tag:  @disappearinginq @writer-at-the-table @dragonnan @serotonin-up and @elilukes :D

#tumblr games

[blissfullylostinarabbithole]

Outsider Pt. 18

Pairing: Step Dad!Tony Stark x Teen!Reader

Word Count: 2k

Summary: The team can’t decide on a plan of action, and Thor finds out what’s happened.

A/N: I’m so sorry about the tags guys, I have no idea why they’re not working!

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You woke up covered in sweat. In the few days since you sent the letter, your condition only got worse. Cletus’ patience wore thin, demanding to know why the search hadn’t been called off yet. It was little consolation that you were able to convince him that the letter probably hadn’t been delivered yet. You were running out of time, and once you realized you weren’t going to get any better, you decided to take the next opportunity, no matter what. 

When you heard him unlocking the door, you scooted to the edge of the bed. He entered, holding yet another bowl of oatmeal, looking as ill tempered as he had in the days before. He handed it to you, and you took it, appearing grateful, and grabbed his hand as he turned to leave.

“Please stay,” you begged. “I miss your company.”

“I have a lead on a buyer.“ His cold gaze landed on you, but you met it with a soft smile. 

“That lead will still be there later. It’ll be fine,” you coaxed, patting the spot beside you. 

You tried to be careful not to lay it on too thick, even though this guy was so far in his mind you doubted he’d notice the change. Still, you weren’t about to take any more chances.

He sat, and you scooted closer, tensing slightly when you felt the key through his pocket against your leg. 

You caught yourself again wondering what you would do when you got out. Were you underground? How far would you have to go before you ran into another person? How long would you leave him in there before telling the police where he was? And again, you had to remind yourself it didn’t matter. All that mattered was that you got the key and locked him inside. If you succeeded, you’d have all the time in the world to find help and make decisions. If you didn’t, well, you didn’t want to think about that.

“You’re not eating,” he said, dragging you from your thoughts.

“Sorry. Just thinking.”

“About?”

“The future.”

He giggled, a sound you hadn’t heard in a while, and you met his smile with one of your own. Though this time, yours was genuine. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

At the tower, everyone was in an uproar. Your mom was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, and was in the hospital, while Bruce had a Code Green and was currently in one of the holding cells until he could regain control of himself. The team couldn’t come to a decision on what to do, and it was driving a wedge between them. Natasha, Vision, and the Sams argued they should pull back; give Kasady the space he needed to make his move. 

“Are you crazy?!” Dean shouted at his brother. “Every minute we don’t look is another she’s with that monster! He could be hurting her!”

Natasha cut in before Sam could respond and escalate the situation. “I get it, it sucks, but he’s not going to come out of hiding if he sees we’re still sniffing around.”

“And what if we miss him? What if he actually has been coming out, and no one’s seen him? They could slip past us, and then we’ll never find her!”

She sighed, knowing it was useless to argue with Dean. “Bucky,” she pleaded, “you know from a tactical standpoint it would be better to wait him out.”

“Are you done?” he huffed, meeting the redhead’s stare dead on. “‘Cause if ya are, I need to get back out there. For all we know, he’s got months worth of supplies and intends to wait us out.”

“Um,” Peter piped up from his spot on the couch, drawing every eye to him. “If we’re voting, I’m for keeping up the search.”

“What are you doing here?” Tony asked. “I thought I told you to go home.”

“I did, Mr. Stark, but I’m back now.”

Tony groaned, frustrated with the boy. “Look, I appreciate you want to help, but it’s dangerous and I want you to go home.”

Peter frowned, and as he walked to the elevator with his head hung low, he decided next time he was going to keep his mouth shut. Even if they didn’t want him out searching, he would at least be in the know on what was going on as long as the others didn’t realize he was there.

He was joined by Steve and Bucky, the former of which gave him a sympathetic squeeze on his shoulder. He was about to ask if he could join them on the search anyway, but when the elevator doors opened, Happy was already waiting to drive him back to Queens.

Peter returned the following day, and kept quiet. As he’d hoped, no one paid much attention to him. He was just a fly (or spider) on the wall, taking in everything around him. A couple of times, one of the others warned him Tony was on his way, and he’d hidden until the coast was clear.

The weekend came, and Peter had asked FRIDAY to grant him access to a spare room. There was a knock on his door the following morning, and he swallowed thickly, thinking maybe the AI had ratted him out. When he opened the door, Sam Winchester was stood there, smiling.

“Morning. Tony’s left for the day. You can come down now.”

“Oh,” Peter sighed in relief. “Thanks, I’ll be down in a minute.”

“You have your laptop with you?”

“Yeah.”

“Good,” Sam grinned. “Bring it with you. We could use another pair of eyes to scan security footage around the city.”

Peter perked up, happy to have something to do other than listen for any tidbits between everyone’s arguing.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Thor was furious he’d not checked in with his Midgardian friends sooner. By the time Heimdall had seen their frantic search for a missing girl, her life force was quickly diminishing.

The guards quickly moved from his path as he stalked angrily across the palace. He’d spotted Loki, a book in hand, possibly on his way to the gardens, and grabbed the front of his tunic.

“Brother,” he greeted in annoyance as he was dragged along. “I assure you I want no part in whatever you have planned.”

Thor ignored his protests, only speaking once they reached the Heimdall.

“Stark’s child has been taken by a madman.” He thrust some shackles into Loki’s hands, receiving a raised brow from his brother. “Restrain him. I’ll be along with the others shortly.” Loki scoffed, causing Thor to grab him by the back of neck. “I’m warning you, do not let him escape.”

“And what of my freedom?” he asked, eyes narrowed. “Surely you don’t believe I’ll be welcomed on Midgard with open arms.”

“No,” Thor admitted, “but the girl is their priority. Once she’s safe, and her captor apprehended, you may return before anyone questions your presence.”

Loki wasn’t convinced, but if there was one thing he could trust, it was Thor’s unwavering faith in him. With that, and the leverage he was sure to gain for his good deed, the others should hesitate long enough for him to make his getaway.

At Loki’s approval, Thor signalled for Heimdall to send them to Midgard. Loki separated from him only moments before he reached the tower, and he wondered briefly if he’d made a mistake in choosing him to help. Regardless, they didn’t have much time, so he pushed his doubts to the back of his mind as he stormed into the building.

“Thor!” Steve approached. “Thank goodness you’re here. We need help.”

“I know where she is.”

Bucky meant to use the distraction to leave, but stopped at the god’s words. “What?! How?”

“Heimdall has seen her. We must hurry.”

“Let’s go!” Peter jumped off the couch, pulling his mask on.

“Not the boy,” Thor addressed Steve in a low voice. 

“What? No, you can’t leave me here!”

Bucky was about to argue that trying to stop him would just waste more time, but the grave look in Thor’s eyes told him whatever they were going to see was going to be hard on all of them, let alone a sensitive kid like Peter.

“Go find Winchester,” he said, nodding toward the door. “Then call Tony and tell ‘em to meet us at the hospital.”

“No,” Peter whimpered, intent on holding his ground.

Steve stepped in, kneeling to look Peter in the eye. “It’s not that we don’t trust you to have our backs, or that we don’t think you can handle it, we know you can. I just don’t think she’d want you to see her like that.” Peter was about to argue again, but he didn’t give him the chance. “We don’t know what we’re walking into, and what she’s going to need is a friend by her side while she deals with everything that’s happened; a friend who isn’t going to see her any differently than they did before.”

Peter didn’t like the idea of staying behind, but he understood Steve’s reasoning. He sighed, nodding, and left to find Sam and Dean while the other two left with Thor.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Bucky’s head swam as they landed, but he recovered quickly enough to see the gathering crowd on the opposite side of the building before following Thor inside. They were met with many projections of a dark haired man, each silently pointing them through several hallways and a few flights of stairs. Bucky momentarily paused beside an opened door, his eye being caught by what seemed to be hundreds of photos of you wallpapering the room from top to bottom. He might have walked inside to investigate had he not heard an unfamiliar voice shouting obscenities in the distance. When he realized he couldn’t hear you, he rushed past Steve and Thor, following the yelling.

His stomach turned as he finally reached the room. Kasady was laughing now, probably at his paling face as he saw the same dark haired man wrap a green cloak around your still form.

Loki looked up as the others entered the room, swallowing thickly as he steadied you in his arms. “Her pulse is weak.”

Bucky stepped forward, lifting the cloak and grimacing at the gashes and bruises littering your body. The most prominent was Kasady’s name carved from your chest down to your thigh. He reached for your wrist, needing to feel for himself that your heart was still beating, and tried not to dwell on the implication of the ring adorning your finger. He slipped it off and handed it to Steve.

Steve quickly took you into his own arms. “Thor, your cloak. The people outside…”

“I’ve cast an illusion,” Loki said as Thor covered the parts of you Loki’s cloak didn’t. “They won’t see you.”

“Hey! You can’t take her from me! She’s mine!” Cletus screamed, getting angry again.

Steve thanked Loki, ignoring Kasady. He and Thor headed back out, pausing when he Bucky didn’t follow. “Buck?”

Now fixated on Kasady, Bucky dismissed him with a wave. “Get her out of here.”

He wasn’t pleased, but he didn’t have time to argue. Without another word, he followed Thor out of the room.

“You’d be dead if it weren’t for the other man,” Cletus said from his spot on the floor.

“How’s that?”

“You wanted to take what’s mine. And then he came. He made you mad too, didn’t he?” He paused, waiting for Bucky to reply. He didn’t. “I should have killed you anyway.”

“Doubt you could’ve,” Bucky finally answered.

“How’s that?” Cletus mimicked.

“Dean’s alive and well,” he said, watching the fury settle onto Cletus’ features. “Already released from the hospital and everything. If you couldn’t even kill a normal civilian, how would you have gotten someone like me?”

A grin slowly crept onto Cletus’ face. “It doesn’t matter. She’ll never be yours, or his, or anyone’s. She’ll always belong to me.”

Bucky regarded the man for a moment. He was in rough shape, with no shortage of wounds of his own. He looked around the room then, seeing the rusted bed with an old mattress, a small table, skull beads and dead flowers, as well as what he assumed was a shattered vase, scattered on the floor. 

He turned to Loki, who’d been quietly watching the exchange. “You said you can get us out of here without being seen?” Loki nodded, and Bucky returned his attention to Cletus. “Good.”

Permanent -  @melconnor2007 @ria132love @psychicwitchphilosopher @sireennotsiren @silence–in–the–library@thefridgeismybestie@hymnofthevalkyrie@abbybills22@mvasquez492@ek823@nicky10876@sophiealiice @madeof-ink@dugan365 @magnitude101999 @way-ward-whale @i-am-the-fandom-warrior @seabasstiantrash @eden-the-human-garden

Marvel/Avengers -@majd943@coolblueintrovert@danijimenezv@prancingdestiel@galacticalstarcat@beautifulbows924@lionheo04@dyanlzbb@pennywisethedancingclown13  @ludwigvonbaethoven @alilianamendez@cravingmustard  @thisismysecrethappyplace  @just4muggles

Outsider -  @whovianayesha @alicethecactus @writings-of-a-girl @problematicpastry @tienna-laufeyson16@sexysamsungl @purplekitten30 @xotaku-baekx @lexie-mo @buckybear97 @cookies186 @let-me-try-mom @captainmoon46 @snapdragonqueen @mjlo0305 @thatcrazybookwormgeek @nerdy-sherlock-fan-191 @stubbornwhale @hellomydearfriends @rainbow-anon @look-to-the-stars-and-wish @amnahs9695 @bucky-blogs

If I missed you in the tags, let me know!

[itsreallylaterightnow]

When I Was Older (Irondad Fic Exchange 2019)

-Summary:

Peter Parker never thought that something like this would be a problem, he always imagined with the spider-bite came a sort of overall health and wellness... well besides being shot at constantly. So when this terrible illness bites down on him suddenly, how will it effect the few days he has left?

or

Peter Parker contracts an illness that he has never heard of then learns that it has no known cure... will he lose his mind before getting the chance to say goodbye to the ones he loves?

Notes: 

AHH! I am so ecstatic for this!! I worked so hard on this, and I am very very proud of this work and I hope that elevators_not_worthy enjoys this work! I chose her, Author's Choice prompt and came up with this guy! It was a labor of love and I cannot thank @justme--Emily  & @seek-rest enough for taking the time to Beta read this work and help me round it out!

Warnings: This is a very sad fic, but no MCD! It is disorienting and could be upsetting to people. No major panic attacks or anything of the sort, just know that it is a bit intense!

Also, shoutout to @irondad-fic-exchange for helping this writer with the computer parts of posting this (I may be a millennial and I may be on my computer all the time but Im so bad with them)

**Tags: ** @irondad-fic-exchange @unfathomable-universe

Please enjoy!

         Peter smiled at MJ across the lunch table, tossing a potato chip at her. Her hair was loose around her face today, and he thought it made her look exceptional.

“Eat your lunch, loser. We only have five minutes before class.” She said, looking back down at her book.

He glanced down at his plate, frowning at the half-eaten sandwich. He hadn’t been hungry for several days, he’d still been forcing himself to eat, but it hadn’t been much. He had hypothesized that his body was finally watering down the spider bite’s crazy side-affect that had him eating like an elephant every day.

The bell rang and the Ned, Betty, and MJ all headed in different directions. Peter waved them all off and stood up himself. His feet led him down the tiled floors of the cafeteria. He stepped into the hallway, about to head to his class. It was time for… Peter stopped, staring at the floor. What class was he going to? He racked his brain, thinking as hard as he could to no avail. He shook his head, remembering that he had read that doorways cause you to lose your train of thought. But it was March of his senior year of high school, he should remember what class came after his lunch period.

           A laugh shook him from his stupor, Olivia Yung grabbed shoved his arm, a smile on her face. “Come on, Parker! We’re going to be late to Western Civ! You don’t even have your notebook, geez! You Americans! Come on, you can borrow a piece of paper and pen from me. We have a quiz on Thursday, you better start taking some good notes!” She tugged him along, and Peter shook his head. Olivia was really nice. She was a genius Foreign exchange student and had quickly joined the Decathlon. MJ and her really got along on account of Olivia was obsessed with politics and her and Michelle could talk about current events for hours.

           Peter sat down in class, a bit shaken from the weird memory lapse thing, but he just pushed it away, and began to take good notes. Mr. Harrington wasn’t the best chaperon, but he was pretty good at teaching. So good that Peter struggled to keep up with the points the man was making about the reformation. Peter looked up at the projection and paused. There was a misspelled word on the board. He stopped, furrowing his brows. He looked around, why was no one else noticing this? The word wasn’t even a real one, why would Harrington put it up? Peter looked down at his paper, then looked back up. He dropped his pencil while he re-read the sentence. It said, “Martin Luther posted the 95 These on the Wittenberg church.” The word Peter hadn’t been able to place was _church. _How the hell had he been so confused about that? Peter shook his head. This was getting a bit too weird for his liking. But he figured he would talk to Mr. Stark about it that afternoon at the internship.

           Peter got in the car with Happy, but the man was on a business call, so he had the partition up. Peter pulled his mask out of his bag and slipped on over his head. “Hello, Mr. Parker.”

           “Hey, Karen. Weird question for you.” He said.

           “Anything that I can answer I will.” She responded.

           “Um, have I hit my head recently on patrol?” Peter leaned back and waited, already knowing the answer, but needing to double check.

           “I have no record of you hitting your head recently. I am automatically required to alert Mr. Stark of any and all head injuries upon incident. I have not alerted him in exactly three weeks, and last time you hit your head it was nothing but a migraine inducer.” Peter gnawed on his lip, trying to come up with a reason behind the strange things that had gone down earlier in his day.

           “No reason, K.” And he pulled the mask off. He hadn’t gotten much sleep that night, maybe that was it. Peter closed his eyes. With the New York traffic, they’d be at least another forty-five minutes to the tower. His last thought was _that’s just enough time to take a nap. _

           It had been three hours that Peter and Tony had been in the lab when Mr. Stark turned to Peter with a look of annoying amusement on his face.

           “Kid, you’ve been tapping your fingers on the table for the last ten minutes and if you don’t stop, I’m going to absolutely rampage.” Peter looked up, and smirked.

           “Yeah, yeah, sorry Mr. Stark.” He stopped his fingers, a bit confused as to how long he had been tapping them anyways. Truth was, Peter could care less about the work in front of him. He and Mr. Stark had been doing updates to FRIDAY, and Peter’s attention span had been waning for the last hour and a half.

           Peter rolled his neck, the muscles in his back stiff as he looked at the clock. He still had three more hours of time in here. Normally it was too short of a time with Tony in Peter’s eyes, but right now, he just wanted to lay down.

           He cried out suddenly, dropping the pen he was holding. “What the heck?” He blurted, short gasps of air coming from his mouth as his arm locked up.

           Tony looked over at Peter, concern in his eyes. “What’s up kid?” Peter hunched over, laughing through the pain.

           “My arm is like- ow- spazzing!” He laughed through the pain, it didn’t hurt enough for him to scream, it felt like the one time on patrol when he had been shocked with a woman’s stun-gun when she thought he was trying to grab her. It didn’t necessarily hurt, just locked his joints up a bit. Tony just rolled his eyes and went back to work.

           Peter spent the night at the tower. It was Friday night, and May was on a weekend shift. Peter would normally either stay with Ned or Tony on these weekends, and Ned had called Peter saying he had come down with a cold. So, Stark tower it was. He sat opposite of Steve and Bucky who were watching the newest Yankees game. Peter felt exhaustion pulling at his eyes, but he forced himself to look back down at the homework he had been working on. Tony was on some conference call that Pepper had forced him to take, and he could hear Clint and Nat in the kitchen arguing about how to properly cook spaghetti while Wanda just laughed.

           The Avengers floor had a large commons area. There was the television, kitchen, dining area and a couple of video games. It was a flat and open space. It had two sides to it. The left side led to the bathrooms, and training area. The right side led to all of the bedrooms. Tony had offered to put Peter on his private floor, but Peter just shook his head. He liked being a part of the team like that.

           As the night wore on Tony and Pepper filled into the commons room. Clint had ruined the Spaghetti, don’t even ask Peter how because he didn’t know that was possible. So Tony had grumbled and ordered pizza from the nearest store.

           Peter looked at the food on his plate and sighed, his appetite still completely gone. He forced himself to take a couple of bites before he set it down, wincing at the tightness in his jaw. He began to tap his fingers on his leg, there was an itch in the back of his mind like his hand was being forced to move. Peter watched the movie in front of them. Wanda had gotten to choose tonight, and she had wanted to watch Chasing Mavericks. It was a movie Peter had never seen, but so far, he had kind of liked it. It was about this guy that, against the bad hand the world had dealt him, had found a father figure to replace the lack of his own. The older man, Frosty, took Jay under his wing, teaching him how to not only surf some of the largest and most dangerous waves in the world, but also how to be a better man.

           Peter couldn’t keep his eyes from flicking over to look at Mr. Stark. The older man had Peter’s feet laid over her legs, an arm around Pepper and a pen twirled in his fingers. As Peter watched the movie, seeing as Frosty lost his wife, and Jay helped him back from his guilt and grief, he felt every emotion that the characters felt. He saw as Frosty watched, heart in his throat, as Jay almost died surfing the mavericks. Then, the pain in Frosty’s eyes when Jay did die, taken too soon by his own drive for greatness.

           The movie ended, and Peter saw Tony, wiping his eyes as he leaned back. Natasha had passed out, sitting with her back up against Bucky’s legs. Bucky and Steve had been squished onto the couch together, looking a bit uncomfortable but relaxed, nonetheless. Clint had fallen asleep with his head on Bruce’s shoulder, who in turn had his chin on Clint’s head. The two would freak when they saw woke up.

           Peter went to sit up and frowned at the tightness in his limbs. He felt like his joints had been bolted together and were unable to bend. Peter cracked his jaw and rolled his shoulder. He was still a bit too emotional from the movie to talk, so he stood up and sighed.

           “See you tomorrow, kiddo. I was thinking that we could just have a lazy day at home. Watch some movies, fool around in the lab. The works.” Tony said as he helped pull an exhausted looking Pepper to her feet.

           “Great sounds, Mr. Stark.” Peter turned to go to his room, stopping at Tony’s chuckle.

           “Yeah, you do need to go to bed if you’re talking like that, Pete. G’night.” Peter didn’t know what the older man was talking about, so he just continued walking towards his room.

           And with that, the boy made his way stiffly to his room, fumbling for the king-sized bed and essentially collapsing onto it. School and patrol had really been kicking his butt recently. It had totally zapped his energy, so he was pretty glad to be able to just relax this weekend. Peter closed his eyes, and that was it.

           After the weekend at the tower Peter had finally felt rested. He went to school on Monday happy as could be to be there. Then of course it all went to hell. He had been having a fine weekend. His memory had been a little short, and he kept getting his words mixed up, but Peter had just attributed it to him having been so tired. And, no one had seemed to notice so it wasn’t a big deal anyways.

           He was at Decathlon practice when it happened. Peter had been sitting beside Flash and Betty, answering question after question when there was a strange _popping _sensation in the back of his head. Peter sat up a bit straighter, but he just ignored it, waiting for the next question.

           “Uh- Peter?” He looked up to where MJ was standing with the flashcards in her hands, a strange expression on her normally straight-laced face.

           That’s when he heard the dripping noise and felt liquid on his mouth. Peter put his hand up to his nose and pulled it away. More shocked and annoyed by the sight of the bright red liquid than anything. That’s when he noticed that it wasn’t just dripping, his nose was pouring blood.

Peter pulled his jacket off, holding it up to his nose as he pushed his seat back clumsily.    

“Mr. Parker, do you need to go to the nurse?” Harrington asked in his normally panicked voice.   “No, I-I’m…” He frowned, completely losing his train of thought as the jacket in his hand kept getting wetter under his nose..  “Bathroom, I’m going to go to the bathroom.”

He pushed past the others, bending his knee in annoyance at the stiffness it held. It made him think of his old bike. The kickstand had been rusted, so he could flip it down easily enough, but whenever he tried to pop it back up it would just stick down, aching and squealing in protest as he forced it upwards.

           Peter walked, albeit gimpily to the bathroom. He opened the door and stepped into the fluorescently lit room.

           And his mind blanked. Why was he in the bathroom? Why was his hand pressed to his face? And why on earth did it feel so sticky? Peter turned to leave, pulling the jacket away from his nose when he stopped. His nose was bleeding? When did his nose start bleeding? It didn’t feel like he had gotten punched and he was still at school, so he shouldn’t be having any injuries from school.

           Peter grabbed a couple of paper towels and bent over the sink. He closed his eyes, waiting for the bleeding to stop. It just continued gushing, running down the sink. He breathed out, praying it would stop soon.

           “Peter!” Ned’s voice had Peter snapping his head up. He opened his eyes and looked at his friend, his head pounding. When he looked at himself in the mirror he stopped. Under his nose was a smear of dried blood, and there was a deep red mark on his forehead from where he had been leaning against the edge of the sink.

           “What, jeez, Ned! Don’t scream at me like that, you’re going to give me a heart attack!”

           “Dude, you’re Spiderman and me saying your name is going to do you in?” He said in a voice that made Peter pause. Ned had this tone to his voice that he only got when he was freaked out about something.

           “Ned!” Peter looked around in wild panic as he dampened some paper towels to wipe the blood from his face. “Someone is going to hear you!” Ned just looked at him. His friend’s face was completely slack and dumbfounded.

           “Peter… it’s been two hours! Tony called me, and I told him you had to have goen home because you never came back to practice! I thought you’d gone home after the whole nosebleed thing. Then- then I just come in here to pee before I go home and you’re just like- dude, you were in some freaky trance! Eyes closed, bent over the sink! Are you okay? Is this, should we like, call Mr. Stark about this?” Ned asked so many questions that he just frowned.

           “No, no I’m ok, Ned. I think- I think I’m just tired. I need to go, ok?” Ned just watched as Peter pushed past him. “I’m fine, really! I’ll see you tomorrow!” He said, bringing his hand up to his jaw as he began to rub it again. God, his bones felt so stiff.

           Peter stepped outside and pulled his phone into his hand. His heart plummeted. Twelve missed texts from Tony! He was so dead!

           Hey kid, you still coming to work on the new update for Karen today?

_ _

_            Yo- you ignoring your old man now? I’m completely offended._

_ _

_            Blink once if you are in trouble. _

_ _

_            Peter, kid? You’re friend Ned said you left to go home? Everything peachy clean?_

_ _

_            Alright, I’m kind of panicking. Please call me. _

_ _

_            Now._

_ _

_            Kid, I mean it. Like NOW!_

_ _

_            Ok, your phone is saying it has no signal. _

_ _

_            So help me GOD if you turned off your tracking again_

_ _

_            PETER!_

_ _

_            Alright, I’m sending the avenger’s out now. _

_ _

_            Call me!_

_ _

_ _

_            _He didn’t get service in the bathroom he had been in, and Peter hit the call button. One ring later and Tony was yelling in his ear.

           “Mr. Stark.” He winced again, pulling the phone from his ear. Something was wrong. He couldn’t think. Peter looked around him and stopped. He was in front of some massive building. He could see a football field and stairs. The building behind him looked somewhat like a prison as Peter turned in a circle. “I’m-” He lost the word for it. “I don’t k- I can’t think!” He finally forced out of his increasingly uncomfortable mouth, rubbing his jaw once more.

           “Ok, your tracking is on now.” Tony’s voice was deadly serious as he picked up the predicament his kid was in. “Your friend said he found you bent over the bathroom sink, Bucky is closest to you, but I’m on my way.”

           Peter wanted to speak, but he was hit by a wall of fatigue. He heard someone calling his name, but his phone clattered to the ground as his hand fell limp at his side. He felt like a puppet whose strings had been completely cut.

He swayed. Peter heard yelling, but he couldn’t comprehend the words. He was exhausted, feeling as though he had been running for three hours.

He fell. Unable to hold himself up on his shaking knees anymore. Then he felt arms on his,

lowering him to the ground.

           “Hey, woah- woah kid. Hang on, Tony’s almost here. Geez, what did you smoke?” He heard Bucky above him, and Peter could feel as the ex-assassin sat him up, leaning Peter back against his chest to keep him supported.

           “I- Buck- I can’t think- I don’t. Working, words aren’t.” He could feel the man looking at him, but Peter just wanted help. He was so confused, and nothing was making sense. And what was this happening to him?

           He heard the sound of repulsors and felt more hands on him then Tony’s worry ridden face was in front of him.

           “Kid, what’s going on?” It was then that Peter realized he was crying.

           “I don’t- Tony- I can’t- I can’t- I can’t-” The older man held his hand out, eyebrows creased heavily.

           “Okay, alright. Brucy is waiting on us at the tower, and he’s going to get you all figured out. I swear, if you have alcohol in your system, I’m going to lose it.” Tony’s voice was deadly serious, but Peter knew he was just teasing to work through the anxiety he was feeling.

           “Where- where- are? Where am I?” He stuttered out, looking around, his eyes doing everything they could to put two and two together.

           Tony jerked his head to look at Bucky, he was still holding Peter’s limp head up. “Did he hit his head?”

           “No, I caught him when he fell. I looked, no dilated pupils or bumps on the skull. I have no clue what’s going on.” He said, concern evident in his voice.

           “Kid, we’re at Midtown right now.” Peter blinked. Midtown. That was his school. Terror began to grip at his heart and Peter looked around him. He had walked these sidewalks for years. He had been going to midtown for four years, and now he couldn’t even recognize where he was.

           “What’s wrong with me?” He whispered. Saying it so quietly that only Tony heard. The man bent down, hands around Peter’s face, looking him dead in the eye.

           “I don’t know, buddy. But I am going to figure it out, okay. You just relax. We are going to get everything taken care of.” Peter just stared at him; eyes wide. Tony then stood up, one hand on Peter’s bicep and one on his forearm. Bucky also shifted around, doing the same on Peter’s left side. He was completely limp, muscles absolutely exhausted as he was pulled up. Peter’s legs were completely straight as he stood. Bucky and Tony were the only reason he wasn’t falling flat on his face.

           “Think you can walk, Kid?” Bucky asked from next to him. Peter grunted, moving his legs forward carefully. It was like he was being forced to walk through a mud pit, his limbs feeling as though they weighed thousands of pounds. He could see the car pulling up, a worried Steve and Clint watching him from the front seats. They leapt out, opening the door closest to the trio.

           “Hey, kid. You’re looking like you had a bit too much to drink.” Clint quipped as he helped bend Peter’s knees to get him into the seat, but Peter knew he was terrified. The more time you spent with Clint, the more you realized that his humor covered up all other emotions that he felt. Bucky slipped to the other side of the car, helping to pull Peter through.

           He leaned his head back, sinking into the leather seats as Tony and Bucky supported him on both sides, hands hovering as they wondered what to do. Suddenly a sharp pain jabbed into his thigh. Peter cried out, hunching over. Hands were on him immediately, sitting him back as he continued to cry out.

           “What’s going on?” Steve asked from the driver’s seat. Tony and Bucky were bracing Peter back, holding him up against the seat as he continued to squirm in pain.

           “I don’t know, just get us to Bruce!” Tony kind of yelled, the team just knew that whenever someone Tony loved was in harm’s way, he got like this. Tense, agitated, and quick to snap. But, no one cared. They all knew that it was only because he cared so deeply and couldn’t stand to see anyone he loved in pain. Strangled cries came from Peter’s mouth, and a hand quickly cupped the back of his head.

           “Kid, we are going to get all of this figured out. Hang on for us, alright? I think you’re having a muscle spasm right now, good ole’ Charly Horse, yeah? No big deal, guys that play football get em’ all the time. They hurt like a bitch, but just try and relax.” Bucky said as Peter just let his head go limp. He was so, so tired, everything around him seeming to sap every ounce of energy he had.

           “That’s a good idea. Kid, just try and close your eyes and relax, alright?” Peter grunted, whether in agreement or agitation he didn’t know. His eyes closed, but his mind stayed awake.

The conversations making less and less sense to him as he drifted somewhere else.

           “I don’t know what this is.” A panicked voice started.  “He’s been acting weird the past couple of weeks, losing his train of thought and stuff but, God, this? He just, he seems completely out of it. He didn’t know where we were, and I- God, if I didn’t know better it seems like the same thing that happened to my grandmother.” Tony said from beside him. Peter listened, but he didn’t hear.

           “Like what?” Steve asked from the front.

           “Like- I hate to say this…” Tony paused, obviously deep in thought. “It’s like Alzheimer’s”

           Peter woke up to Bucky and Tony pulling him carefully from the car. Natasha was holding a wheelchair in place, her normally placate face creased with worry at the sight of the teen who could hardly stand on his own. It as something straight from a nightmare.

           “Bruce is getting a room prepped for him. He wants to start him on an MRI scan first.” Her flat tone said, but her hand found Peter’s face and she gave him a soft stroke.

           “Can- can you guys, s-s-s…. quit talking about me. Like I’m not h- like I’m not here.” Every word felt like a struggle to get out. It was like his tongue had been twisted and tied and his brain was doing flips in his head. Like reaching into a bowl of random words, looking for one specific one. Natasha bends down at this as the men get Peter settled into the wheelchair.

           “Kid don’t worry. Bruce and Cho are the best out there, you know that. Whatever is going on with you, we will get it figured out.” Peter rarely saw Natasha look anything other than stone-faced, but right now, her eyes had an air of concern and gentleness that soothed his soul. He relaxed as he was wheeled into the tower.

           “How are you feeling, Pete?” Bruce asked when they made it to the med bay. The man looked concerned, but calm as Peter was helped to sit on the reclined hospital bed.

           “I don’t- I can’t- it’s…” He stopped, taking a deep breath. He couldn’t think. And he was going to go crazy. Before he realized what, he had done, Peter’s phone was laying on the floor, a mirage of broken glass.

           “Alright, alright. Listen, you just relax. We are going to take an MRI, I think it’s possible that you hit your head, and this is just a severe concussion, alright? I’m going to get this done as quickly as possible, you just relax. If you get uncomfortable or feel off just let me know.” Peter just nodded, his eyes hot with tears, finding Tony’s as the man stared at him with worry creasing his features.

           “M-m-may?” Peter stuttered out. Tony nodded, understanding completely.

           “Yeah, I know. I want to wait and see what Bruce says. She’s going to be sleeping right now. Once he lets us know what’s going on, we will give her a call.” Tony ruffled Peter’s hair as one of the nurse’s brought him a hospital gown.

           “I don’t think.” His voice stuttered. “I can’t do it a- a- by myself.” Tony, sad eyes and firm lined mouth, nodded.

           “I know. I’ve you kid. I’ve got you.”

           The MRI was torture for Tony. He stood, watching through the one-way glass, his heart in his throat. The kid had exploded, slamming his phone into the wall on the opposite side of the room with enough force for it to completely shatter. Tony and Bruce had held a brief conversation about a sedative, but since Peter had calmed down, they’d decided to hold off.

           “Tony.” Bruce’s voice was low, and he jerked his head to look at the man. Everyone else was somewhere in the tower, awaiting news. He had sent Happy to get May when Bruce relayed the fact that it would be wise. Something as serious as this, it wasn’t a physical issue. He hadn’t fallen from a building, or been slammed upside the head. This was neurological. And that was scarier than anything else that could’ve happened. Peter was laid out, looking utterly too still as he stared at the white machine above him.

           “Bruce.” Tony’s voice wavered, completely uncertain, and painstakingly terrified. He had risked everything; the team had risked _everything _for that kid. To stop Thanos, to save that boy. That boy who looked completely horrified and unaware of his body. Who was moving like an elderly person, whose brain could hardly place a thought. Tony could not lose him. Tony would _not _lose him. Not now, not ever.

           “I think we need to sit down.” Bruce said gravely. Those were the exact words he had dreaded hearing. Tony just continued to stare at the man. Bruce, who was hiding behind his glasses, his face white as a sheet. And Tony suddenly felt the urge to vomit.

           “Tell me.” He said, unable to say anything more without his voice breaking.

           “Let’s si-”

           “_Bruce.” _He said forcibly.

           “It’s, God, Tony it looks like…” He paused, rubbing his hands over his eyes. He looked

as though he were about to drop to the floor. “It doesn’t make sense, but it looks like- Frontotemporal Dementia.” His voice was a hush, hardly a whisper, but Tony just stared at him like he was a foreign language.

           “_Dementia? _Bruce, he-he’s eighteen. He doesn’t have Dementia!” Tony exclaimed, throwing his hands. Because no matter how much he argued the point, it wouldn’t matter. Because Bruce wouldn’t have said that if it couldn’t happen.

           “It’s rare, Tones. But, it’s the only type of Dementia that can affect young people, and… Tony I think that the advancement that the spider bite gave him… I think that it is working against him and speeding up the process. His symptoms started until last week, and it just doesn’t move this fast.” Bruce gestured to the kid. “This is- it’s moving too fast.” Tony took a deep breath, feeling as though he was underwater.

           “What’s going to happen?” His voice was deathly low, but Bruce heard.

           “It looks to be in a more advanced place. He’s going to have problems holding things, moving, walking. We need to be careful and watch that he doesn’t fall. It will become hard for him to eat, and drink, his muscles essentially will start cramping or seizing up, he won’t be able to move. He… it’s not fatal in itself. But, God-” Bruce’s head fell into his hands. “There’s essentially no way to keep him from getting pneumonia. He will stop being able to move, and when the body lays in one position like that, it just- it’s not good.” And Tony felt like he was dying. Right then and right there. And he grabbed Bruce’s arm, because he couldn’t stand up.

           “Tony, I need you to breathe.” Bruce’s voice filled his brain as Tony sank against the wall.

           “I can’t- Bruce- I can’t lose him.” Bruce kneeled in front of Tony.

           “I will figure this out. Be there for him. Don’t act like he’s dumb or missing something. Treat him as normally as you can. I want him to stay on the Floor with everyone until… as long as he can.” Bruce grimaced as he stood up. “I’m going to give you a minute, and I’m going to go

talk to Peter. Talk to his aunt. I won’t stop until I can find a way to fix this.”

           There were tears and denial from everyone. Peter didn’t understand half of what Bruce told him; he just knew that whatever was going on was bad. It was bad for him, and everyone around him was upset. Bruce promised to not stop trying. Whatever that meant.

           May was there. She was crying and kept holding his head to her chest. Peter was sat on the couch with a blanket up to his chest. Tony was standing in the kitchen, and he had been looking down at the same cup of coffee for the past twenty minutes. Peter blinked heavily, his head dropping towards his chest.

           “Why don’t you take a nap, Pete?” May’s voice was soft as she played with his hair. Peter did feel exhausted. He leaned his head against her arm.

           “It’s like-like a …” He couldn’t think.

           “It’s okay, just relax right now, baby.”

           “It’s like a storm.” He muttered. May tilted her head, looking at him with tears rimming her eyes.

           “What?” His eyes were closed as he released a deep breath. He felt Tony’s hand on his hair, and he sighed.

           “This. ‘s like a storm.”

           It only got worse. Tony had called in every single doctor he could think of. He had called in Cho, Strange, even doctors from Thor’s world. No one could find a cure. Tony was sat with Peter today. May had a double shift at the hospital, and he had Peter duty. The kid was staring at the television. Nothing hurt Tony more than the silence from his kid. Peter had always been the chipper, chatting one. He was the one that was talking when Tony had been anxious or stressed about something. Now, Peter hardly spoke. The dementia was progressing faster than any of them had been ready for. The kid could hardly speak without stuttering. He was constantly confused, and he could hardly eat or drink anything, choking to the point that they had put in a feeding tube and he was now connected to an IV of fluids at all times.

           Tony looked at the kid, biting his lip as he bent his head, doing everything he could to hold back a sob. Peter’s face was void of any emotion as he sat, and Tony couldn’t handle it anymore. He needed an ounce of recognition, a hint of a smile.

           “Hey, Pete. Do you want to go outside? I’ll take you for a stroll?” Peter made eye contact with Tony before offering a stiff nod. “Alright. Let me grab you a jacket and the wheelchair.” Peter just stared back at the television as Tony pushed himself off the couch. The kid hadn’t been able to eat much before the feeding tube, and even with it he was losing weight, which meant he was always freezing. As Tony walked from the hallway with the items, he needed his heart dropped.

           “Pete!” He raced forward, the teen lying face down on the ground, trying and failing to push himself up, the IV had been ripped from his arm. Tony grabbed him and got him in a sitting position. “Are you hurt?” The boy just stared at him; no recognition is his eyes. Tony felt his blood running cold. “Peter, are you hurt?” He pronounced each word very bluntly, but the boy shook his head, his body shaking slightly.

           “Need’d you.” He forced out from his locked jaw. Tony grinned, knowing it didn’t reach his eyes.

           “That’s okay, kiddo. I’ve got you.” He managed to get Peter into the wheelchair, tucking the sweatshirt he grabbed, which just so happened to be his MIT one, over the boy’s head before slipping the IV back into the teen’s arm. He decided to tuck a blanket around the kid as well, making sure he stayed warm.

           It was dark out, and the lights of the city blinked at the two of them. Peter’s favorite spot was on the roof, looking over New York. They hadn’t talked about spider-man since Peter got sick, but he knew the kid missed it drastically, could see it in the boy’s face.

           “M’ scared.” Tony looked down, seeing tears in the kid’s eyes. He knelt next to him, touching the boy’s face gently.

           “It’s going to be okay, Pete.” Heart being torn from his chest.

           “Miss it.” A tear dropped down his cheek and Tony’s thumb caught it.

           “I know. I know you do.” He needed a cure, God let Bruce find a cure.

           “M’ lost, T’ny.” And that did it. It was a sledgehammer straight to his heart. Tony’s calloused hands cupped the teens face, and his distant eyes focused in.

           “You’re not lost. It just feels like you are. Bruce isn’t- we aren’t going to let you go somewhere that we can’t follow.” Each word dripped with emotion. Peter nodded. He was more coherent right now than he had been in the past several days, and Tony was soaking it all in. He pulled the kid from the chair, sitting both of them on a couch that he had set up outside, just for these moments. He grabbed a blanket and pulled a hat on Peter’s head for him. The two sat, listening to the soft music that FRIDAY had turned on, and for a second- one split second- everything was normal.

           Then Peter coughed.

           Ton sat at the table of the commons room, staring at his food and trying to force himself to eat. May was with Peter and Cho, working on finding a way to bring his fever down. Let’s just say, when Peter got sick, he got sick violently. He was coughing up a lung and you could read the discomfort in every labored breath he took. What had the medical team so worried, was the levels of his fever. The kid was racked with chills, and his fever was verging on 104, and Tony ached to see the kid’s hazy eyes.

           He felt a presence behind him and looked up. Helen stood, looking exhausted as she watched him.

           “How is he?” Tony knew, but he still dreamed that he would ask that question and it would be, _He’s healed, Tony! _And he would never have to let the kid get out of his sight again.

           “Not good.” Cho sat, sipping the tea that she held. “I don’t know how much longer he has, to be honest with you.” Tony felt his entire chest darken, running a hand over his mouth.

           “How did this happen? No one in his family showed signs of it, Helen! I looked into his family’s medical records; they show nothing like this! Not a single one of them had anything close to dementia or Alzheimer’s, and I’m just supposed to expect that this is completely random?” He dropped his face into his hands.

           “I wasn’t going to tell you this, because nothing came of it.” Cho looked down. “When Peter first came in and we took his blood, there were… abnormalities in it. A strange chemical mixture that I couldn’t quite make out.” Tony sat up straighter. “I still have the sample, and I’ve been looking into it, but nothing has come of it. If it were-” She stopped herself looking down, and a burning anger filled his chest.

           “If it were what?” She bit her lip.

           “It was foul play,” and his breath was torn away from him. “then it wouldn’t matter right now, because I haven’t been able to curate a way to stop this anyways, and I’ve been trying. I had Natasha looking back to see if Peter ever got hit with any kind of dart or injected with anything, she’s been looking since he came in last week but nothing’s come up.” Tony’s hands were shaking as he watched her. “I- the pain he’s in… I need to start him on Morphine.” Tony felt his chest tightening.

           “Morphine is a death sentence.” He choked out, unable to breath.

           “It- it doesn’t look good. He’s in pain right now. His body is shutting down and he’s sick. I’ll give you until the end of the day, but Tony- I won’t let him suffer any longer than that.” She said firmly, as Tony stared at the wall in front of him.

           “I will fund whatever you need. I will get you every scientist in the world. Get my boy back.” He stood, completely abandoning the food on the table.

           “Where are you going?”

           “I’ve got a very unlucky person out there waiting for me to hunt them down. Someone did this to my kid, I just know it. I have to find them. I have to do something.”

           He took Clint, Natasha, and Bucky with him. He needed to be sure that he had a team of people willing to do whatever it took to get this son of a bitch. Tony had scoured every ounce of footage from Peter’s suit, and he had found it. There was a man that Peter had fought, of course he had won, but the man had gotten a small cut onto Peter. Of course, the kid hadn’t thought anything of it, but as Tony had FRIDAY read into who the man was, he found out that he was a scientist from OSCorp, and there was no way that he was completely innocent.

           They had found his home and waited until nighttime. When they ambushed, it had only taken Natasha three and a half minutes to get the cure from him. Tony had already called SHIELD. Whenever the psycho, who said he wanted to see how Peter’s Spider DNA reacted to the Dementia, got out of the hospital, he would be in prison for a very very long time.

           Tony raced back to the tower, stopping in his tracks when he heard May weeping. _I’m too late. _He thought to himself. Peter was dying a terrible, painful death, and he was too late. Bruce came sprinting around the corner, his face pale and sweating.

           “Please tell me he-”

           “Not yet, but God- I would never give him something like this without testing it, but we don’t have time. I just pray that it kick starts his healing factor, because. Well, I’m not going to lie to you, without it he doesn’t have long. His fever is too high and with the way his muscles are shutting down, he’s losing his ability to clear his airway by coughing. Helen’s going to administer Morphine in twenty minutes if this does nothing.” Tony gave the man the vial and followed as they raced to the room, ignoring the growing shaking of his hands.

           May was weeping, Her face laying in Peter’s hand on the bed. The ventilator hissed as it did everything it could to do the job his lungs couldn’t. His face was ghastly pale, the bags under his eyes dark enough to look racoon-ish. He looked so thin, and weak. Tony hated it. He hated every second of seeing his kid look like this.  

           “Okay, Peter. If you can hear me, we have something to give you.” Helen said from where she entered the room behind Tony. May looked up, tear stained eyes that held a haunted hope. Because if this didn’t work- they knew the outcome.

           Helen prepped the needle and walked to the port in his left arm. She bent her head down, saying a quick prayer. Tony did the same. She inserted the honey-looking liquid in. And they waited. Nothing happened.

           The respirator hissed. The pulse ox beeped, dangerously low, and the heart monitor seemed to be counting down the seconds. Everything seemed to slow down drastically, as Tony rubbed his hand over the boy’s forehead, hand gripping his kid’s tightly.

           Then doe brown eyes slipped open. And they held more recognition and love in them than Tony had seen in weeks. And he thought his knees would buckle.

           Tony gripped the boy’s hand, staying out of Cho and Bruce’s way. They began examining him, giving him his pain medications that would work now that his metabolism was working again. The boy may at least be awake, but he was still sick. His metabolism working the way it was, had him beginning to fight the ventilator that he was on, and Tony put a placating hand on his shoulder, steadying the kid best he could. “We’ve got you Pete, we’ve got you.” He said over and over as the boy squeezed his hand, brown eyes blown wide. He knew this would be terrifying. He knew Peter would have a long road of recovering ahead of him, but they could do this.    

           By the time Cho and Bruce left, Peter was falling back asleep with exhaustion. The respirator would stay in until his lungs cleared, which, with his healing rates, shouldn’t take longer than a couple of days.

           May had stepped out to go shower when the boy fell back asleep, Tony having promised to stay with him. He had pulled a chair closer to the teen’s bed, tucking a blanket into his lap as he waited for the boy to wake up.

           “I missed you, kiddo. God, I was terrified.” He whispered as he sat, running his fingers through the boy’s hair. He hadn’t expected the kid to wake up with the amount of drugs he was on, but he felt the hand tightening around his own.

           Soft brown eyes forced themselves open, and Peter was looking at him, trust filling his eyes, and Tony knew he would never again take him for granted. “Hey kid.” Peter’s hand tightened on Tony’s. The man leaned forward, shushing Peter gently as he blinked. “Just rest, Pete. I’ll be here when you wake up. I’ll be here for the rest of your life. Whenever you need me.” Peter had tears in his eyes, and Tony just hushed him once more, running his thumb across the boy’s cheek. “You’re not lost anymore, Pete. We found you.” He closed his eyes as Tony continued playing with his hair. “We found you.”

#irondadficexchange #unfathomableuniverse #irondadficexchange2019

[cuthian]

Dancing in the Rain Chapter Four

Hi everyone!

Hope you're all still safe and healthy :)

Longer chapter this week, since it'll have to last you two weeks. I won't be able to post again next week due to my busy and hectic exam and work schedule now that everything is opening again here in Belgium. As always, but especially from hereon out, PLEASE mind the tags (canon-typical violence, kidnapping, angst) and if you have any concerns, please feel free to contact me (@cuthian on Tumblr).

Or yell at me in the comments.

As always, much thanks to @juulna for putting up with me and helping me whip this thing into shape.

Lots of love, Annaelle

Chapter Four

28 CELEBRITIES WHO HAVE OPENED UP ABOUT THEIR STRUGGLES WITH MENTAL ILLNESS

-        Research shows that stereotypes about mental illness often prevent people from seeking treatment or speaking out about their struggles.

-        In recent years, stars like Sophie Turner, Chrissy Teigen, Demi Lovato and Prince Harry have spoken candidly about their struggles with mental illness.

Despite the prevalence and global impact of mental health conditions, it’s still hard to open up and ask for help when you most need it. Research shows that harmful stereotypes about mental illness often prevent people from seeking treatment or speaking out at all.

Luckily, in recent years, we’ve seen a shift in the way people view and talk about mental health conversations about depression, anxiety, addiction and more have moved from the private to the public sphere. That’s not only important, but effective, according to mental health experts. In fact, when public figures open up about their own mental health struggles, it can help break down stigma, spark important discussions and even inspire people to seek out treatment.

Below, we’ve rounded up 28 celebrities who’ve spoken candidly about their own battles with everything from postpartum depression to anorexia and PTSD.

[…]

Prince Harry spoke to a therapist about his mental health after two years of "total chaos" in his late twenties.

[…] recently revealed he felt very close to a complete breakdown all the time, and faced anxiety during royal engagements before he finally began to see a professional to address his grief. Now “in a good place”, Harry has encouraged others to open up about their own struggles.

[…] started the Heads Together campaign with Prince William and Kate Middleton to help “end the stigma around mental health issues.” […] "The experience that I have is that once you start talking about it, you suddenly realize that actually, you're part of quite a big club," he told The Telegraph.

[…]

An outspoken advocate for mental health awareness, Demi Lovato is open about her battles with bipolar disorder, bulimia, and addiction.

[…] recently released a documentary about her own struggles, shared powerful side-by-side photos of her recovery from bulimia and entered rehab to address her substance abuse issues. "It's very important we create conversations, we take away the stigma, and that we stand up for ourselves if we're dealing with the symptoms of a mental illness," Lovato told Variety in February.

The singer continued: "It is possible to live well and thrive with a mental illness."

Steve Rogers, or Captain America, who struggles with social anxiety, depression and PTSD, once said he suffers from "a noisy brain."

[…] interview with Ellen earlier this year, the former Army Captain and Avenger revealed how his anxiety often kicks in when he is asked to speak for causes he cares about, or during press conferences. […] Rogers, who has tried everything from meditation with fellow-Avenger Bruce Banner to learning several new fighting styles with close friend Natasha Romanoff, said he’s “getting better”, but still has moments of self-doubt.

[…] Avenger also opened up about his struggles with depression shortly after he was woken from the ice. “The kindness that was shown to me by my friends—my team—as well as my family and my therapists saved my life,” he told Ellen. […] also shared an emotional letter about his PTSD following his experiences during World War II and during the several battles he has fought in the 21st century.

"There is a lot of shame attached to mental illness, but it's important that you know that there is hope and a chance for recovery," he wrote.

—Evan Agostini, Axelle Bauer-Griffin, “28 Celebrities Who Opened Up About Their Struggles with Mental Illness”, Insider.com, March 2016

-----------------

Avengers Tower, New York, Manhattan, New York State, United States of America

10:36 p.m., 2 April 2016

Tony

Tony was shaking a little, fidgeting, his heart beating unsteadily in his chest as he paced the floor again. He’d been hiding in his lab since this morning, because while he loved Pepper to pieces, and he was elated—re: terrified—that she was pregnant and that they were going to be parents, she was driving him fucking nuts.

At least while he was in his lab, he wouldn’t be shouted at for eating the last Oreo’s.

Pepper didn’t even like Oreos.

She didn’t even want to eat them.

Tony didn’t understand pregnancy brain, but he’d been informed by Google, J.A.R.V.I.S., Rhodey, and Cap that it was best to just not question it.

He also wasn’t sure why he was thinking about Oreos when Becca was potentially in very big trouble, and Steve had left the dubious honour of telling Thor to him. “J.A.R.V.I.S.,” he said, a little desperately, voice shaking. “You heard the man. Call everyone in.”

“I have sent an Alert to all of the Avengers’ personal phones,” J.A.R.V.I.S. replied readily, and Tony exhaled a little in relief. Someone had clearly planned this, had gone through the effort of setting half a building on fire to keep Steve distracted and get to Becca without drawing attention to what they were doing, and Tony was a little afraid to think of who they might be—of what they wanted with Becca.

He was going to do as Steve asked, though, because he would never forgive himself if something happened to Becca and he could have done something to help, to stop whatever it was.

The way Steve had sounded on the phone had kind of… scared Tony too.

He’d not heard Steve fall back to that dull, lifeless, monotone tone of voice very often, and when he had… well… it had never meant very good things for any of them.

The last time he’d heard Steve sound like that… the last time Steve had called Tony sounding like that, Tony had had to rush Natasha to Steve and Becca’s tiny Brooklyn apartment to keep Steve from doing something drastically stupid—she’d found the war hero crumpled in a heap on the floor with tears running down his cheeks and a gun to his head, begging her to just let him pull the trigger…

To let Steve stop the nightmares permanently.

He shuddered.

Yeah… Hearing that tone coming from Steve meant something.

Tony was barely holding himself back from rushing down to the lab and throwing himself into a suit, hurtling off to… to nothing. Nowhere.

He didn’t know anything yet.

Steve didn’t know anything yet.

He’d asked Tony to assemble but had left him with no other instructions and Tony knew, okay, he knew there was nothing he could do until he had more information.

And fuck if that didn’t frustrate him more.

He was stuck, wandering his Tower while his stomach twisted at the many implications his mind was set on conjuring up, each more gruesome than the other.

The elevator let out a bright ping and Tony jumped, eyeing the sliding door nervously until it slid open to reveal Natasha, dressed in a tight tank top and leotard, her hair coiled up into a tight bun and ballet slippers dangling from her left hand.

“What was so urgent, Stark?” She demanded, crossing her arms over her chest with a frown.

He waved his hands dramatically, because he was Tony Stark and if ever there were a time he were  allowed to be fucking dramatic, it would be when Captain goddamn America called him in a panic because he’d lost Tony’s little Baby-Becs, and then giving Tony a heart attack when her tracker wouldn’t work.

“Gotta get to the others first,” he said impatiently, snatching her wrist and pulling her along when he started walking again.

He led the Spider through the silent, unlit hallway, but didn’t bother asking J.A.R.V.I.S. to turn on the lights; he’d designed these hallways, he’d walked them so many times he could probably do it in his sleep—which he had a few times, when Pepper had dragged him to board meetings before he’d had coffee. The twins would likely already be waiting for them in the boardroom anyway, and after all of Thor’s dramatic appearances in the past few years—all of which had cost Tony more than a few light bulbs—he didn’t want to bother anymore.

He ignored the Widow’s cool, silent surprise and dragged her through the door, entirely unsurprised to find Wanda seated at the table in her pyjamas, spinning a thread of red light between her fingertips as she sat cross-legged in her seat, her brother next to her, lounged back in his own seat, boots propped up on his table.

“You know,” he drawled impatiently, glaring—okay maybe mock-glaring—at the silver-haired boy impatiently. “You live here for free. You could at least pretend to take care of my furniture.”

Natasha snorted a laugh and pushed past him, settling in the seat to Little Red’s left. Before the Red fucking Menace could do anything but smirk at him though, the door swung open again to reveal Bruce, dressed in an old band shirt and threadbare sweatpants, his lab coat halfway up his shoulders and his glasses crooked, almost as though he’d just rolled out of bed.

There was a single clock on the wall—for Pepper’s decorative purposes, Tony presumed—and he couldn’t quite stop himself from frowning as he eyed the clock’s hands.

10:45 P.M.

Bruce probably had just rolled out of bed then.

The other scientist had a disgustingly strict sleeping schedule.

“Why are we assembling?” Bruce groaned, rubbing his hand through his—surprisingly curly—hair, and Tony unexpectedly found his thoughts derailed from Becca and Steve to Bruce in much more pleasurable territory, fingers itching to tug on those curls and to press into Bruce’s arms, because the other scientist gave really good hugs, okay?

He’d always been a little sweet on Bruce, even if nothing was ever going to come of it.

He had chosen Rhodey and Pepper years ago, and he was pretty sure Bruce had been dating that astrophysicist girl that Thor had introduced them to a while ago anyway, but… There was a part of him that’d always be kind of weak for the way Bruce looked all adorably sleep-rumbled and soft, and the way he was one of the only people in the world that could keep up with him, one of the only intellectual equals Tony had ever met in his life.

He wasn’t going to do anything about it though.

It was a harmless crush—he was even pretty sure Bruce knew about it. Bruce was, objectively, handsome, and really fucking smart.

He hit all buttons for Tony—except that, you know, he wasn’t Rhodey or Pepper.

He shook himself, chancing one more furtive glance towards Bruce’s sleep-rumpled form before he sighed and shook his head. “Something happened at the gala,” he said. “Steve’s gonna tell us more when they get here.”

He pushed his hands into the pouch on his hoodie and contemplated waking up Pepper, but he knew well enough not to disturb her once she’d managed to get comfortable and fall sleep unless it was super urgent, and he didn’t know what this was.

What if Becca had just wandered away?

He ignored, for the moment, that her subdermal tracker—the tracker he had designed for her, for all of them, that he made sure couldn’tbe taken out unless completely smashed to bits—wasn’t working. The comms hadn’t worked in the building either; some of those older buildings were practically Faraday cages, even his tech wasn’t always good enough to get through that—for all they knew, Becca’s tracker had also been jammed.

It wasn’t worth risking Pepper’s wrath for, he thought. Not yet.

He couldn’t even call Rhodey, because he was off in Europe for the week, doing… military stuff.

Which was fine.

Tony didn’t need both of them around all the time.

He wasn’t pouting.

He wasn’t.

Romanoff snorted at him and eyed him carefully. She raised a perfectly arched eyebrow at him, but he didn’t budge—Romanoff always liked to pretend she knew everything—she probably hated that she knew no more than the others did, right now.

“You know more,” she stated simply after a few seconds. “Is everyone alright?”

Tony opened his mouth to say “yes”, to nod reassuringly, but the word wouldn’t fall from his lips. “I don’t know,” he admitted. The atmosphere in the room abruptly went from sleepy yawns to rapt attention, and Tony fidgeted a little. “The building caught fire during the gala,” he explained. “Everyone was evacuated, but Steve lost Becca in the chaos, and now… we kind of can’t… find her…”

“What do you mean, you can’t find her?” Natasha demanded hotly, sitting up straight and glaring at him. “Activate her tracker. She can’t be far.”

Tony winced and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Her tracker… isn’t working,” he admitted, looking up at the Widow defiantly. “Steve and Clint are canvassing the building and then getting back here. For all we know, she got taken onto one of the ambulances, or the building interfered with the signal. The comms were spotty too; it’s why Clint went inside with them.”

Natasha hissed, almost like an angry cat, and stood, stalking up to the large holographic screen present in almost every room in the Tower and began pulling up… documents? Tony wasn’t sure what she was doing, but she seemed intent on doing it, and far be it from him to discourage the Black fucking Widow from doing what she thought needed doing.

“Have you told Thor yet?” Pietro said, glancing between Tony and Natasha nervously.

Almost like the man was summoned by the mere mention of his name, a loud clap of thunder shook them all and the giant blond god bounded inside, his smile wide and infectious.

“Greetings, friends!” The tall god beamed, and Jesus, Tony was not in the mood to deal with Thor’s sunny personality. Christ. “I apologize for the delay in my arrival,” the god boomed excitedly, thumping down his hammer on the conference table. “Heimdall did not inform me of your request until I had finished the duties the All-Father assigned to me.”

Tony half-watched as Bruce stood to shake Thor’s hand, only to be brought into a tight bear hug, a startled squeak falling from his lips before he patted Thor’s shoulder awkwardly until the taller man set him down again and repeated the hug with Wanda and Pietro, who basically threw himself in Thor’s arms—Tony didn’t miss the pointed look Wanda shot Pietro at that.

He almost jumped right out of his seat when Bruce’s knee bumped against his, his eyes drawn to the other scientist’s immediately, because obviously Tony was a glutton for punishment and he really needed to get a fucking hold of himself.

Bruce looked a little tired, but not nearly as anxious and unsteady as Tony felt, and of course he didn’t, he didn’t know what was going on, none of them did, really—

“Thor,” he exclaimed suddenly, yanking himself away from Bruce abruptly. “We gotta… Steve called, about the gala—something’s happened.”  He ignored the way the rest of the team eyed him nervously and settled back in his seat with minimal fidgeting.

Thor’s smile abruptly disappeared and he sat, heavily, on the nearest chair. “Rebecca,” he said hoarsely. “The baby, are they—are they alright? Is Steven?”

“I don’t know,” Tony admitted, his leg bouncing erratically underneath the table. This was… he was doing something, even if it was just telling Thor, even if it wasn’t much, and that was better than nothing. Doing nothing drove him absolutely and entirely mad—and that wasn’t good for anyone.

“I don’t know a lot yet,” he continued. “The building… there was a fire, and everyone was evacuated, but…” He stalled Thor’s words before he’d even said them, holding up a hand as though to ward off the questions that were sure to come. “…Steve said they got separated during the evacuation. He can’t find her. Her tracker’s offline. She… She might still be in the building or somewhere around there, but…” He swallowed. “Well, it’s not like our trackers can be disabled accidentally.”  

Thor looked gutted, but the expression was swiftly replaced by one of utter rage.

“Who?” he demanded. “Who would dare take her from me? From us?”

Tony’s eyes widened when lightning sparked between Thor’s fingers and thunder rumbled loudly above them. “I don’t know, big guy,” he said in his calmest voice, although it didn’t seem to be doing much to assuage Thor. The crackle of electricity hung heavy in the air and made Tony’s skin prickle and thrum—the raw power rolling off Thor was… fucking intimidating, a reminder that the man wasn’t human, and that he could likely squash them all like bugs if given proper motivation—

The door swung open again and Steve and Clint walked in, and Tony nearly choked on his own tongue, because he’d seen Steve look pretty terrible over the years—in the throes of depression, bruised and beaten after battle, but…

He’d never seen Steve look like this.

There were dark circles beneath Steve’s eyes and several cuts and bruises were in various stages of healing, but Steve’s dark bespoke suit was riddled with bullet holes and splashed with so much ash and blood and Tony really hoped it wasn’t all his.

“Steven!” Thor bellowed, leaping from his seat and crossing the space between him and Steve in a few short strides. “You wear battle upon your skin, yet Tony informed me there was none. Where is Rebecca? Have you found her?”

Tony’s eyes flicked to the door again, then to Clint, who shook his head, and his stomach sank.  

“I—the—she wasn’t anywhere,” Steve finally said, his expression stony, but Tony heard the barely perceptible waver in his voice regardless, and he felt abruptly sick, keeping his eyes fastened on the door, begging for Becca to walk through at any moment, to just be there, to be okay—

Please, please, don’t let her be dead.

“Hydra took Becca,” Steve continued, and Tony’s entire world screeched to a halt for a long, tense moment, his breath punching from his lungs in a startled breath—

“Are you sure?”

“Hydra took Becca,” Steve repeated, but Tony could again hear the waver in his voice that matched the sudden nausea that crawled up the back of Tony’s throat. “Her tracker’s offline, and we came across some stragglers when we canvassed the building and the rest of the block,” Steve went on, turning his attention from Thor to the others. Tony wanted to do something, to say anything, but he wasn’t quite sure what words were for a moment there, because he couldn’t think past ‘Hydra took Becca’. “They had cyanide capsules,” Steve said. “Spitting Hail Hydra before they died.”

He took a harsh breath and looked up at Wanda. “You were right. They’re back.”

Tony’s legs gave out from beneath him as he fell backwards onto his seat. He had not even realised he had risen from his seat in the first place. “Why would they—”

“It was a trap,” Steve interrupted harshly, anger infused in his every word, but Tony could see him fraying around the edges in the way his hands trembled before Steve pressed his palms flat against the table. “It was specifically set to draw me—or us—in,” he continued tensely. “I don’t know how they knew Becca and I would be there or why they took Becca instead, but I don’t intend to let them keep her long enough to find out.”

Thunder rumbled loudly above their heads and lightning flashed through Thor’s eyes at the same time as it lit up the night outside, and everyone jumped again, turning to the God of Thunder with wide eyes. Thor looked livid, and Tony suddenly realised he had never seen Thor really angry before, not truly, not even during their most intense battles, and the sight of it was… surprisingly terrifying.

Outside, a storm unlike anything Tony had ever seen before raged, and Tony wasn’t sure what to do to calm the god down.

He was, honestly, not sure he wanted to.

Let Thor unleash his anger on the bastards who’d dared kidnap Becca.

“J,” he said briskly. “Pull up everything you can find on the gala tonight. I don’t care how many firewalls you have to bypass or how many people will know we’re looking. Just get the info.” He barely waited for J.A.R.V.I.S.’s murmured affirmation before he jumped out of his chair, pulling up a large holoscreen above the table.

“Tell us everything,” he ordered Steve as soon as he had the screen set up, whirling around to find Steve looking at him with the same kind of desperation that was burning in his own veins.

“Now, Steve,” he ordered sharply, knowing it would get through to him the quickest.

Steve faltered for another moment—which Tony guessed he could forgive him for, since he was pretty sure Steve had been up since yesterday morning—before he launched into a detailed explanation of his and Becca’s strategic plans for the gala, all the way down to the color of her dress.

Tony watched, a little lightheaded and in dire need of caffeine—or like… six 5-hour energy shots—as Steve’s plans were laid out on the holographic screen, in clear and direct terms. Clint and Thor were leaning forward, eyes flitting between Steve and the screen, and even Natasha sat, tensed, on the edge of her seat, staring intently at the screen.

His hands trembled when he swiped a picture of one of the targets to the side, and he was very much not thinking about how triggeringthe situation had to be for Becca. She’d been doing so good, and he knew, he knew his Becs was stronger than any of them, but there were limits even to what she could take. He was also very deliberately not thinking of his own issues with being kidnapped—even though he was basically an expert at it now, having been kidnapped like six times before he was even eighteen—or the way he’d found Becca in Iraq, pale and beaten on the floor in a filthy little cell.

She was important to him, always had been, even though he’d been annoyed as fuck at fifteen to be saddled with the baby at family gatherings. She was his Baby Becs and he hated the thought of someone getting their hands on her and hurting her.

He’d promised himself, the day he found her, after he’d led the Army to where she was being held, and the day he’d spent sitting by her bed after the Battle of New York, that he’d find a way to keep her safe.

It’s a pledge he felt truly shamed to have failed at.

“Wait, wait.” Bruce waved his hand slowly, pulling his glasses down his nose and pinching the bridge between thumb and forefinger and completely interrupting Tony’s train of thought. “We have good contacts in S.H.I.E.L.D. Why are we not calling them in? If we can legitimize the mission through them… Making this an official S.H.I.E.L.D. mission would make it easier, wouldn’t it? We’d have all of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s resources.”

“Because revealing that S.H.I.E.L.D. or the Avengers purposefully put active agents in that gala would have meant treading on some very powerful toes,” Fury boomed from behind them, causing Tony to nearly jump out of his skin, knocking his knee painfully into the underside of the table. “We cannot afford that right now.”

Tony swivelled around, because how the fuck did that asshole keep getting into his Tower without his goddamned permission, how did he even know—and then froze, his mind screeching to a stop as he watched Fury approach with Agent Hill—he remembered her, very pretty, badass, had a brief fling with Becca after the fiasco with Romanoff—and…

Coulson?

“Bruce, am I drunk?” he choked out, feebly patting around until his fingers found the fabric of Bruce’s shirt to clutch and hang onto. “I’m seeing dead people.” He was vaguely aware of the sound of Clint dropping his mug onto the table, but no one else said anything, and he couldn’t—

What the fuck.

“This is a whole new level of madness.” Tony shook his head dramatically. “J, call my therapist. Wait.” He frowned. “I don’t have a therapist. Damn it, call a therapist. If they’ll take me. Will they take me? Fuck. What the absolute fuck, Fury?!”

“Tony, shut up!” Steve shouted empathically, and Tony would yell back, but just then, he caught sight of Clint’s expression and oh.

Yeah.

Tony cringed. He’d only heard of Clint’s relationship with Coulson after the man had died on the Helicarrier—although not so much, apparently—but he’d witnessed Clint’s intense grief first hand. So… realising Coulson wasn’t dead after all?

Not cool.

Not cool at all.

Everyone watched, tensely, as Coulson tentatively moved  towards Clint, before Natasha suddenly stepped into his path—

That wasn’t going to end well.

“Don’t you dare talk to him,” she hissed, and if Tony had been on the receiving end of that look, he swore he would have just shrivelled up and died because damn, that woman and her icy glares.

“Nat, I—” Coulson began, falling silent immediately beneath the weight of the Black Widow’s lethal glare.

“Enough,” Fury cut in, and Tony almost wanted to pout—this was dramatic as fuck and it didn’t even involve him, for once—before he remembered why they were there and promptly felt sick, because how could he—or any of them, except for maybe Clint—have forgotten, even for a second, that Becca was missing and in danger?

“Yes,” Steve boomed, face stoic but hands clenched into fists nonetheless before he lifted one hand to point at Coulson. “Enough. You… I’m glad you’re not dead. Head’s up would’ve been nice.” He turned to Fury, and Tony was impressed by the way his expression actually grew icier. “And you… when I’ve got Becca back safe and sound, you and I are gonna have a conversation you’re not going to enjoy.”

It struck Tony then, in a moment of dizzying clarity, how much Steve was struggling to hold onto the Captain America mind set, in a way he hadn’t seen him struggle in…

God, in months.

Tony hadn’t understood, initially, that Captain America was Steve’s shield just as much as his vibranium shield was. He hadn’t understood that, to deal with the expectations people put on Steve from the moment they laid eyes on him, Steve hid behind Captain America.

He showed people what they wanted to see.

Tony could tell that, in the light of Coulson’s reappearance, in the light of Becca being kidnapped on his watch and the botched mission—Jesus fucking Christ—that Steve was on the verge of losing it though.

Tony caught Steve’s eye, and the exhausted desperation in the younger man’s eye nearly made him wince. Nearly. Tony was worried about Becca too, the frantic energy humming beneath his skin nearly electric the longer he sat still, but he was willing to concede—just this once—that Steve’s nerves might be slightly more frayed than Tony’s.

Slightly.

To be fair, neither of them was quite as badly off as Thor obviously was, vibrating where he stood, lightning continually sparking between his fingers and his eyes flashing white with each clap of thunder and flash of lightning outside. But then again, it wasn’t Tony’s girlfriend and child on the line, now was it?

God, he didn’t even want to think about Pepper and the baby being in this kind of danger.

Tony could be a good teammate and take the focus off of Cap and Thor for a bit, though.

Let it never be said Tony Stark didn’t play well with others.

Tony cleared his throat loudly, effectively drawing all attention back to him.

“Not that this isn’t fun,” he drawled sarcastically, rolling his eyes at Fury’s annoyed huff. “But I’d prefer to get back to why we’re actuallyhere.” He gestured back to the large screen, his heart clenching a little at the sight of the photo J.A.R.V.I.S. had pulled up—a picture Pepper had taken during one of the Team Movie NightsTony had insisted upon, catching Becca in the middle of a peal of laughter at something silly Thor had said to Steve—before he glanced back to Steve and Thor and steeled himself.

One of them had to keep it together.

Just figured it’d be him again. Tony never thought he’d be the stable one, but then…

Here he was.

Again.

------------

BREAKING: NEW YORK CITY HIT BY UNEXPECTED THUNDERSTORM

The torrential rains that have been ravaging New York City for the past few hours hit unexpectedly and, reportedly, entirely out of nowhere around 10:30 p.m. today. The rains and repeated strikes of lightning have yet to cause any real, lasting damage, but it is only a matter of time if it continues, according to experts.

[…] at least 46 people were caught entirely by surprise by the heavy rainfall and needed to be extracted by firefighters from a partially flooded subway tunnel. “[…] situation is, for now, under control, and we’re trying to help those that have been caught up in the storm, but the streets are flooding, and we recommend everyone to remain at home,” said Anahera Taumata, a senior official at the New York City mayor’s office.

[…] Military units have been deployed to assist emergency workers as they search for [missing] people and clear the streets for emergency vehicles. […] storm unlike any in living memory, according to local authorities. New York’s weather agency has reported up to 6 inches of rain fell within four hours, triggering several flash floods in various subway tunnels, and 4 reported lightning strikes to various buildings.

Amusingly, several New Yorkers have taken to Twitter to ask Thor Odinson, New York’s resident God of Thunder, to take the lightning and rain elsewhere. Interestingly, several weather experts have agreed that such a sudden change in the weather can only be attributed to the God of Thunder. […] no response from Thor or the Avengers yet, although the storm rages on.

[…] no reports of deaths or serious injuries yet.

—Pedro Isaac, “New York City Hit By Unexpected Thunderstorm”, DW.com, 2 April 2016

-------------

Avengers Tower, New York, Manhattan, New York State, United States of America

11:57 p.m., 2 April 2016

Steve

“This has to be a trap.”

“It’s a one-way video feed,” Tony said scathingly, glaring at Fury. “It can’t be a trap.”

The tension in the room was so palpable that it thickened the air surrounding them, making Steve feel almost like he was choking. The others were spread haphazardly throughout the room, eyeing the video feed J.A.R.V.I.S. had pulled up after receiving an anonymous email with varying expressions.

“Is there any way to trace the signal?” Bruce asked reasonably, looking between Tony and Natasha with a furrowed brow. Natasha had taken control over one of Tony’s holographic screens and had, in the past hour and a half, managed to collect a mildly terrifying amount of evidence of Hydra’s continued existence. The things she had found and was currently investigating were so immensely complicated and implicated so many people that it gave Steve a minor headache at just the thought of considering it all.

She’d managed to uncover a terrifying amount of documents, video footage, photos and other evidence, which was mildly terrifying, considering how hard it had been to find even the slightest scrap of evidence before. When Steve had asked why she was finding so much now, Nat had only muttered, “It’s easy to find things when you know what you’re looking for,” before refocusing her attention on the screen.

And yet, nothing she’d found—nothing pointed towards there having been plans to take Becca.

Except… Except that there had clearly been a plan.

The security cameras in and around the building had been masterfully and methodically rerouted to replay previously recorded footage starting three minutes and forty-three seconds before the fire alarm had been triggered until seven and a half minutes after the alarm had been triggered.

In addition to that, whoever had hacked the feed had done so at the scene—which meant they couldn’t be traced through an I.P. address.

The kidnapping clearly was premeditated, but whoever had done said premeditating had not left a paper trail for them to find. They’d not left anything for them to find, other than Becca’s glaring absence and the three trigger happy goons Steve and Clint had run into when they’d canvassed the area.

And now this dark video feed.

“I don’t care what it is,” Thor thundered, eyes flashing with barely suppressed rage. “Will it help us find Becca?” A particularly loud clap of thunder punctuated his words, making his feelings on the matter abundantly clear. Of course, the thunderstorm outside had been gaining in strength since Thor had learned of the kidnapping.

Steve winced.

After their initial explanation of what had happened at the gala, Thor had simply stood, walked out, and—according to J.A.R.V.I.S.—disappeared through the Bifrost. He’d returned not ten minutes later in full armour and with his friends, who had all immediately spread out into the city to track down whatever leads they could find.

Thor had, after they’d spent a tense few minutes watching him talk to his friends, re-joined the team in the board room, although he’d barely said three words since his return, and most of those words had been used to inform them Heimdall was also searching for Becca with his all-seeing gaze.

He hadn’t spoken to Steve directly since he’d walked in.

And Steve hated it.

He hated that he’d failed Thor and Becca so badly. He’d promised Thor that Becca would be safe, that he’d be by her side the entire time—and because he hadn’t been, because he’d decided trying to dance with the target’s date was a good idea, Hydra had been able to get to Becca.

He wouldn’t be surprised if Thor wanted to throw him from the Tower.

Steve kind of wanted to throw himself from the Tower too.  

“As soon as it activates,” Tony said fervently, nodding at Thor. “I don’t care what they’ve done to erase their digital footprints, as soon as they give us an inch, I’m gonna take a fucking mile.”

Thor nodded curtly. “Very well.” He crossed his arms over his chest and looked away, staring silently out the window into the dark storm.

Steve wondered, not for the first time, whether the sight of the storm soothed Thor, or if it made his anger and fear all the worse. It was, after all, a physical manifestation of Thor’s emotions—a blatant and palpable demonstration of everything Thor felt for anyone who cared to look.

Steve had seen Thor’s control over his lightning slip a few times over the years, but every single one of those instances had been… different.

With the exception of the two-week long thunderstorm that had followed Thor’s return to Earth after his mother and Loki had been killed, every other instance of Thor accidentally letting his lightning loose had been… if not outright funny, then certainly amusing.

It’d happened once after his and Becca’s second anniversary, when Becca had apparently done something very well—although Steve preferred not to think about what exactly she’d done so well, for his own sanity—and once after Clint and the twins had teamed up to play a prank on Thor, and the god had startled so bad he’d electrocuted the entire Tower.

Both instances had been hilarious.

There wasn’t anything funny about Thor’s lack of control now.

Steve eyed the raging storm—if it even was due to a lack of control on Thor’s part. He didn’t doubt that his friend was terrified, because Steve was too, and it wasn’t even his girlfriend, his child on the line. He wouldn’t be surprised if there was a reason Thor had decided to unleash the thunderstorm to end all thunderstorms on New York.

Maybe he was hoping to flush out whoever had taken Becca—quite literally.

Steve would be more concerned about the consequences of letting this storm rage—people could get hurt, there could be floods due to the unrelenting rain—but most of his higher brain function was too occupied with Becca to care.

While Tony, Bruce and J.A.R.V.I.S. bickered over how they were going to trace the video feed, Steve took his chance. Natasha, Clint and Wanda had their heads bent together to try to figure out why there was a video feed in the first place, and thankfully weren’t paying attention to him either.

Steve approached Thor, feeling simultaneously nervous and like he was going to get whatever horrible fate he deserved.

“Hey,” he said quietly once he’d reached his friend, leaning against the wall beside Thor.

Thor barely even glanced up at him, but nodded in acknowledgement nonetheless.

“I—” Steve tried, but his voice rebelled, and the words died in his throat. “I’m sorry,” he finally managed. “I promised you she’d be safe, and… I didn’t—I should’ve stayed with her. I’m sorry.”

Thor heaved a sigh beside him.

“Steven,” he said wearily. “My friend. I love you very dearly, and I want you to know that the only people I blame are the people that tookBecca from me, but…” He sighed again and looked at Steve with dark, haunted eyes. “I do not have it in me to reassure you right now.”

He turned away from Steve again and stared back out the window.

Steve opened his mouth, changed his mind, and then closed it again, feeling distinctly nauseated.

He wasn’t sure how long he and Thor stood there, backs against the wall in silence, before Natasha suddenly announced, “We got something.”

At the same time, Tony exclaimed, “The feed’s going live!”

Steve’s stomach dropped away and he felt distinctly nauseous as he eyed the video footage Tony had pulled up on the largest screen in the room. He pushed away from the wall and joined the rest of the team as they gathered around the screen in a tight half circle, each set of shoulders bumping into the next one over.

And there, right in front of them and yet completely out of their reach, was Becca.

The camera hardly shook at all, and the quality of the video was exceptionally high—whoever this was, Steve would bet anything they were using a professional camera, which spoke volumes about the level of preparedness of the kidnappers, at least in his opinion.

When he voiced said thoughts aloud, Natasha nodded in agreement and Tony insisted he had spotted the same thing immediately. Steve didn’t really pay attention to them, trying to focus his gaze on the details of the scene, on anything that might betray where the footage was being filmed or who was filming it—anything that might tell him where Becca was, but the backdrop was a simple, infuriatingly, undoubtedly purposefully white sheet.

He carefully refrained from looking at Becca, who sat tied to a wooden chair in the middle of the image, because he needed time to steel himself for what he was sure he’d see.

He remembered what Hydra did to the people they took.

He remembered what Bucky had looked like right after Steve had pulled him from that concrete slab in Azzano—remembered the blank stare in his best friend’s eye that never really left after.

Steve wasn’t sure he could stand to see another friend tortured by Hydra.

When he did finally look at her, she looked relatively unharmed, although she’d clearly not been handled carefully, either. Her hair had fallen from the elegant mess of braids and curls Nat had done for her earlier, and there was an ugly scrape on her forehead. She was paler than Steve thought was healthy, but when she looked up at the camera, he could recognize the defiant anger in her gaze.

“This is live, yes?” Thor demanded, glancing towards Tony, and Steve wondered if anyone else could tell just how badly Thor’s hands were shaking.

“Yeah,” Tony nodded. “Yeah. J.A.R.V.I.S. is recording and tracing the feed right now.”

He looked stricken, and though Steve felt a wave of sympathy for him.

“Well, smile for the camera, Barnes,” someone drawled on the feed, voice smug and self-satisfied even though it was clearly distorted by some kind of voice modulator.

When Becca continued to scowl at the person behind the camera, someone heaved an impatient sigh and stomped forward, roughly grabbing Becca’s chin with a gloved hand and forcing her to look directly into the camera. “Come on then,” the man—because it was a man, dressed from head to toe in black, a dark ski mask covering his face—in their field of vision spat. “Smile for your friends, bitch. Gotta say goodbye.”

Lightning sparked between Thor’s clenched fingers and jumped up his arm, and the thunder outside roared deafeningly loud.

Steve winced in perfect tandem with the others, and barely resisted the urge to grasp Thor’s shoulder in comfort. The gesture wouldn’t be appreciated right now, he was sure, and he wasn’t very sure he wouldn’t be electrocuted if he touched Thor right now, in any case. Thor certainly didn’t seem entirely aware of the light current of electricity that was dancing from his clenched fists up to his shoulders and the white that crept across his eyes—

It was, admittedly, slightly terrifying.

He returned his attention back to the screen, where Becca had bared her teeth in a bloody grin.

Steve fumed, because it was obvious she’d been slapped hard enough that her upper lip had split, which meant one of those sick sons of bitches had had the gall to hit a pregnant woman hard enough to make her bleed.

“You gonna scream real’ nice and loud for us, baby?” the male, though still unidentifiable voice taunted on the screen, shaking Becca’s chin roughly while several other voices jeered and the man in the frame cupped his crotch suggestively. Becca winced—a small, minute thing, but Steve had known her long enough to recognize her expression of pain—before she spat at the hand that was holding her.

“You and your pathetic little needle dick couldn’t make me scream if you tried,” she spat, voice strong and clear, glaring up at him.

Steve snorted a laugh despite himself, and even Thor smiled.

Unfortunately the kidnappers were not quite as amused by Becca’s innate inability to stop sassing people, and the man who stood next to Becca in the frame, who’d cupped his crotch to taunt her, slapped Becca hard. Her head whipped to the side and Thor growled as the thunder above them roared, and—miraculously, thankfully—the sound echoed on the video.

They could hear Thor’s thunder on the video.

They could hear it.

She was still in the city—whoever had taken her hadn’t taken her out of the city. And thunder had a limited sound range, at that.

Amateurs, he thought contemptuously.

Becca slowly swung her head back towards the camera, grinning that same bloody grin. “Oh, you’re fucked now,” she chuckled. “Thor. Babe. There’s only five of them. Fucking annihilate them.”

“Someone calculate how far that was,” Clint shouted. “How long was the delay?”

“Couple of seconds tops,” Tony said absently, hands moving feverishly across the keyboard.

“You insolent bitch,” the man behind the camera spat, lurching forward in a blurred movement to backhand Becca across the face once more, and Thor’s thunder howled so loudly everyone reflexively covered their ears. A massive bolt of lightning struck the nearest building and the city went dark beneath and around them.

The Tower, mercifully, seemed mostly unaffected, although there were quite a few red alerts popping up at the bottom of the screen. The video feed, too, seemed unaffected, although the lights shining down on Becca had dimmed considerably, and everyone except Becca seemed a little spooked by Thor’s outburst.

“Well,” the man chuckled, although his voice was just a little shakier than it had been before. “We know they’re watching, then. Good.” He disappeared from the frame again and ordered, “Go get the Soldier.”

Becca swayed a little against her bonds, clearly dazed by the last blow—though still with a slight smile on her face from the proof of Thor’s wrath—and Steve bit his lip nervously. Even though they knew they were in the city, that they couldn’t be far, he didn’t like that they couldn’t get to her right away, that they couldn’t bring her to the medical floor to have her checked out—

“Captain America,” the man on the video said, and Steve’s head snapped up. “You’ve been a thorn in Hydra’s side for far too long. Consider this a warning of what’ll happen to everyone you love if you continue to cross us—we know where your friends live, know that certain elderly friends of yours are particularly vulnerable. I hope you’ve enjoyed your time with Barnes while it lasted, because it comes to an end now. Hail Hydra.”

“What,” Tony said, baffled, and Steve’s stomach roiled—he might throw up; something he’d done maybe thrice since waking from the ice.

Becca had been shaking her head the entire time the man was speaking, but when she opened her mouth to say something, she seemed to spot something behind the camera and her eyes went wide, her jaw going slack. “Wh—Uncle Bucky?”

Steve, who’d been reaching for the nearest trashcan—just in case his rebellious stomach decided to stage a full-scale riot—abruptly jerked back towards the screen, wide-eyed and confused, and Becca blinked owlishly at whoever was behind the camera.

But then, suddenly, before she could gather herself, there was a commotion from the same direction she was staring into as if she’d seen a ghost. It devolved rapidly into unintelligible shouting, and before any of them had any chance to figure out what the hell was happening—

The camera toppled on its side with a loud crash, and for a second, through blurred, jagged footage, Becca’s feet were visible, before a loud bang startled them all, and the video abruptly cut out.

“J.A.R.V.I.S.,” Tony inquired shakily, “tell me you have something.”

“Why would she say that?” Steve whispered, staring at the blank screen without really seeing it, without really… without really thinking.

Why would Becca say Bucky’s name?

No one replied to him.

“I’m sorry, Sir,” J.A.R.V.I.S. responded apologetically, speaking over Steve’s whisper, and Steve felt sick. “The signal was heavily encrypted and was being bounced off servers on every continent. Even with the knowledge they were still in the city, I was not able to narrow down the location. Based on the delay before we heard the echo of Thor’s thunder, however, I estimate that they are no more than five miles away from the Tower.”

“We have to do something,” Natasha exclaimed a little desperately. “There has to be something—they’re in the city, we know they are in the city—you have to be able to find something.”

“Their lights weren’t off,” Wanda remarked from next to a quivering Thor, wringing her hands nervously, anxiously. “It was darker, but not fully dark, and I think there was a hum in the background after. They must have an emergency generator. Doesn’t that help?”

“Why would she say Bucky’s name?” Steve repeated, a little louder, ignoring the slight hysteria in his own voice, choosing to focus on that rather than the gunshot they’d heard at the end of the video, because… because…

Because she’d said Bucky’s name.

Steve was unable to ignore it or chalk it up to coincidence—he couldn’t.

He knew Becca would have known that too.

“I don’t know, Steve!” Natasha shouted suddenly, startling them all into silence. Steve stared at her with wide eyes—he had never seen Natasha lose her cool like this, and that more than anything shocked him into immediate silence and stillness. She exhaled shakily and continued in a—slightly—calmer voice, “It doesn’t matter why she said Bucky’s name. I’m sorry, but it doesn’t. What we need to focus on right now is where she is and who has her. Once we have her safely back we can look into anything she said and why she said it, but not now.”

Steve blinked at her. “Okay,” he whispered. “I’m sorry.”

He’d forgotten, for a moment, that he wasn’t the only one that loved Becca—that he wasn’t the only one that was going out of his mind with worry.

Natasha glared at him for another tense, drawn-out moment before she sighed. “It’s fine.” She looked to Thor, who was still glaring at the screen where Becca had been projected just minutes before, almost like he hadn’t even registered the commotion erupting around him.

“Thor,” she said, switching gears, her voice softening into something more comforting. “We’re going to find her. Can you meet up with your friends, see if they’ve found something? In the meantime, we can work out a search grid and work in pairs, search more efficiently—they can’t be far, so we have to make sure we get there before they move again. Maybe start on the outer perimeter of a five mile radius and work your way inwards; that’s what I’d do, and you can do it in a snap compared to most of the rest of us.”

“I’ll go with,” Steve said immediately, because his skin was crawling and he couldn’t stand sitting here and doing nothing any longer, because he knew his brain would drive him mad if he did.

Natasha nodded. “I’m going with you. Thor, with your friends—there’s four of them, yes?”

When Thor nodded, Nat smiled tightly. “Split up into groups of two. Tony, I need a map.”

Tony jerked into movement, blinking blearily but pulling up a map of the city obediently. Natasha walked up to it and indicated a ten-block radius. “You and your friend search this grid. Steve and I,” she indicated another ten-block grid, “will be searching this area. Your other two friends can search here.” She pointed again and Thor nodded sharply.

“We can search too,” Pietro piped in. “I’m fast, and Wanda can fly; give each of us ten blocks. Wanda and I can clear more than you can and faster, and that safely frees up Thor for the perimeter.”

Natasha nodded grimly.

“Be careful,” she told them after she’d indicated a good portion of the city. “Hydra will probably be looking to take you two back as well.”

Wanda bared her teeth in a snarl. “I’d like to see them try.”

With that, she slung her arm around her brother’s neck, and they blurred out of sight. Thor looked at the map intently for another few moments before he too, without words, stomped out of the room.

“Tony,” Nat said sternly, “Keep trying to hack the signal. If you find anything, any clue to narrow our search down, let us know.”

Tony nodded.

Clint settled in a corner, dragging several laptops, Starkpads and phones with him—staunchly ignoring Coulson and Fury, who were both pacing in the corridor, barking orders on their phones—and told Nat, “I’ll contact everyone I know—someone’ll know something.”

Nat nodded again before she turned to Steve. “Well,” she said, eyeing him up and down. “Suit up.”

------------------

Start from the beginning:

In Hell We Stand By You:

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8)

Never Feel Alone:

(1) (2)

Decisions:  (1)

Dancing with a Limp:

(1) (2)

Chances:

(1)

Starting Over:

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8)

Dancing in the Rain:

(1) (2) (3) 

Or read it HERE on AO3 :D Find the next chapter HERE on Tumblr :)

#stucky #stucky fanfic #Steve rogers #Bucky barnes #IHWSBY sequel #Dancing in the Rain #DitR #my writing #Lisa writes #thor #Becca Barnes

[bigthighsandstupidguys]

Thank you to the lovely gems @satans-helper @mountainofthesunn @beautifulcinephile @safarimama @gretavanfic for tagging me! <3

1. What is your middle name?

Raquel

2. How old are you?

27, yes I’m ancient in Tumblr years haha

3. When is your birthday?

Feb. 23

4. What is your zodiac sign?

Pisces sun, Aries rising, Scorpio moon.

5. What is your favourite colour?

dark greenish blue, like dark teal I guess.

6. What’s your lucky number?

13

7. Do you have any pets?

My kitty cat Padmé....and there’s Obi, too, a younger, misbehaving kitty cat.

8. Where are you from?

Southern Arizona (it’s a dry heat!)

9. How tall are you?

5′1 1⁄4 “(you will pry that fourth of an inch from my cold, dead, hobbit sized hands!) also all y’all are tall af! What gives?

10. What shoe size are you?

7 or 7.5 depends on the style of shoe

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

A reasonable amount, I do believe in having shoes for every occasion.

12. What was your last dream about?

I was trying to pair a body suit with a skirt or something to attend a concert, but then a “race of superior humans” took over everything and well, the concert was no longer a priority.

13. What talents do you have?

I like to think I’m a pretty good dancer...

14. Are you psychic in any way?

I have a strong intuition, I think. 

15. Favourite song?

Today I am going to say Free Fallin’ by Tom Petty.

16. Favourite movie?

Probably Forrest Gump

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

Someone kind and funny. A good human being who’s just trying their best.

18. Do you want children?

I think so, but not for a long, long time.

19. Do you want a church wedding?

I got opinions about marriage as an institution...but if I gotta get married I think I’d want it to be somewhere outside.

20. Are you religious?

Not anymore

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

Not admitted, just emergency room stuff

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

lol no

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

I met an actor from a kid’s soap opera in Mexico once idk his name tho. (and i swear to god I saw Travis Barker from Blink 182 at the San Diego Zoo once, could not confirm tho)

24. Baths or showers?

Showers (but Lush bath bombs are fun and fizzly and smell good)

25. What color socks are you wearing?

barefoot rn

26. Have you ever been famous?

no, but as a toddler my picture was used in a newspaper article lol

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

Not really, I just want to be able to wear gorgeous gowns and walk down a red carpet and pose haha. And also be interviewed, I pretend I’m interviewed a lot in my head.

28. What type of music do you like?

I listen to a little bit of everything in spanish and english, but mostly pop, rock, soft rock, oldies, r&b, hip hop. Like shoes, there is also a playlist for every occasion. 

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

NOT YET!

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

four

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

on my tummy, arms under my head, making a four with my legs (if you know, you know)

32. How big is your house?

big enough

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

an egg dish of some kind.

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

nerf gun lol

35. Have you ever tried archery?

No, but my middle school BF, Legolas Greenleaf, Prince of Mirkwood was really good at that.

36. Favorite clean word?

luscious

37. Favorite swear word?

Fuck

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

24 hours i think

39. Do you have any scars?

Oh, ya...thanks Padmé

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

Not that I know of...

41. Are you a good liar?

Ha! No! My best friend says my voice gets two octaves higher when I’m lying haha

42. Are you a good judge of character?

I believe so, yes.

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

I mean, I’ve tried to do British, that’s what happens when you grow up watching LOTR, Harry Potter, and Pirates of the Caribbean over and over lol

44. Do you have a strong accent?

My Spanish and English are unaccented, but i’m sure when i travel to other parts of the country they know I’m “not from ‘round these parts.”

45. What is your favourite accent?

One time I heard a man from Holland speak and I’ve never heard an accent as beautiful since. But usually I like New Zealand accents.

46. What is your personality type?

Chill and funny.

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

Probably my faux leather jacket

48. Can you curl your tongue?

Yes

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

innie

50. Left or right-handed?

right

51. Are you scared of spiders?

Fuck yeah, especially tarantulas. 

52. Favourite food?

Egg rolls

53. Favourite foreign food?

Chinese

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

My personal spaces are messy...there is order in the chaos, though.

55. Most used phrase?

“You guys are bad, bad kitties.” 

56. Most used word?

“Ubie” one of the many nicknames for my younger brother.

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

about 30 minutes

58. Do you have much of an ego?

it exists and is a fickle thing

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

suck and then bite when it’s been weakened lol

60. Do you talk to yourself?

oh yeah

61. Do you sing to yourself?

mmhmm

62. Are you a good singer?

no, not really, but that ain’t gonna stop me

63. Biggest Fear?

living an inauthentic, unfulfilling life.

64. Are you a gossip?

I like to listen to tea being spilled, I just really like a good story. 

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

The Prestige

66. Do you like long or short hair?

Long

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

I think so

68. Favourite school subject?

History/English

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

introvert

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

no

71. What makes you nervous?

being thrown into unfamiliar situations

72. Are you scared of the dark?

No (my best friend slept with a night light when we were growing up and it was the worst part of sleeping over, but I weaned her off of it eventually!)

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

Sure, kindly, the same way I’d like to be corrected.

74. Are you ticklish?

yes

75. Have you ever started a rumour?

no

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

yeah, at work. it’s weird, I do not feel like the kind of person who should be in a leadership position. I’ve always thought that was a thing for loud, confident people haha

77. Have you ever drank underage?

yeah

78. Have you ever done drugs?

like weed/edibles lol

79. Who was your first real crush?

Cody in fourth and fifth grade.

80. How many piercings do you have?

seven

81. Can you roll your R’s?

Yes

82. How fast can you type?

pretty fast

83. How fast can you run?

Like if I have a good reason to, my ass will sprint fast.

84. What colour is your hair?

It’s naturally a dark brown, but right now the roots are dark and the rest is lighter because i’m a dumbass who wanted rose gold hair 

85. What color is your eyes?

dark brown

86. What are you allergic to?

I think the combination of avocado and tomato causes some kind of reaction because every time I eat it, my lips feel all tingly and swollen.

87. Do you keep a journal?

I have a lot of journals that I occasionally will write in.

88. What do your parents do?

Their best. lol. My dad is a facilities director and my mom can’t work because of her chronic illnesses. But she was a teacher in Mexico, and worked at all kinds of things here before her health got too bad.

89. Do you like your age?

Sure

90. What makes you angry?

assholes lol people who don’t realize or care about the fact that we’re all on the same damn rock with the same needs. 

91. Do you like your own name?

I do, yes.

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

haha I really like the name Agustín

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

doesn’t matter

94. What are you strengths?

i’m compassionate and love deeply

95. What are your weaknesses?

i’m compassionate and love deeply lmao jk. It can be difficult to set boundaries

96. How did you get your name?

Named after both my grandmothers, they were quite different women and I think I got some of the best stuff from both.

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

Not likely, probably more like merchants. I’m convinced my mom’s side of the family left Spain because of some shaddy stuff haha or to incest in peace lmao

98. Do you have any scars?

Yeah, thanks Padmé

99. Colour of your bedspread?

It’s summer so i’m only using a flat sheet right now, it’s purple.

100. Colour of your room?

blue, specifically the shade azure

Tagging: @lazingonsunday @lantern-inthenight @gretavanfleetlife @littlegeekwonder @dreams-madeof-strawberrylemonade @eatmyshiftsticky @jeordinevankiszka @myownparadise96 @michaalien @mr-stank-i-dont-feel-so-dank @okietrish @thebatphone

#about me #tag game #this was long but fun lol

[spiderandman]

meta about peter and the whole battle w/ scorpion and the hallucinations? (that was one of my favorite parts of the game ngl kdgfhjk)

listen i turned my computer back on to write this because this is by far one of the most traumatic experiences pete has in the game and it’s sooo brushed over in the tags and even in the aftermath and like i know yeah its a game we can’t spend that much screen time on aftermath bc we want there to be a big ‘woohoo we won’ at the end or else it wont be as satisfying or something but LISTEN this is the fucking worst thing that’s happened to him

yeah okay finding out doc ock went fucking marbles and still tried to kill him even though he knew it was pete in the mask (and lowkey threatened to tell the world if pete didn’t help him, which MAYBE WILL HAPPEN IN THE NEXT GAME) and may dying were like legit terrible experiences that have forever altered how peter sees the world and it has seriously impacted his ability to trust people -- those were definitely bad, i’m not discrediting them

but the illusions with scorpion? they ruined him. yeah he pops out at the end in his underwear and makes a joke about it and moves on, but like i said, screen time, no room to dedicate to breaking that shit show down into pieces esp bc, yknow, devil’s breath and doc ock and everything, even forgetting the whole screentime issue, peter was way too wrapped up in, yknow, saving the fucking city that he didn’t have time to swallow everything scorpion threw at him, but yo, he had nightmares for months after that, and sometimes still wakes up not sure if things are real (paired with mr. negative’s illusions, his mind is all sorts of kerfuckled. anyway)

THE REAL POINT THOUGH is that the only danger to peter that entire time was the actual neurotoxin. scorpion was an hallucination (bc i dont think any of the illusion versions of him were actually him, bc honestly, why wouldn’t he just kill a drugged peter, you know? i definitely don’t think he stuck around to just... watch spider-man die. he just doesn’t seem to have the patience, and anyway i’m pretty sure he just assumed pete would die) anyway, scorpion was an illusion, doc ock was a hallucination (and ill touch on that in a moment bc woooo boy), the shifting acid-trip worth levels of roof pete traversed were illusions -- pete was in literally no danger from anything except the neurotoxin, and he even knew that -- he makes commentary about how the poison ground is probably not actually dangerous, but this toxin is hitting him so hard that he can’t actually be sure. and that’s why at the end, he’s actually fairly unscathed? like even though you can take a lot of damage in that scene, pete wakes up virtually uninjured because the injuries were in his head. 

BUT THE INJURIES AREN’T EVEN THE BAD PART OKAY BECAUSE LET’S TALK ABOUT THE FACT HE HALLUCINATED DOCTOR OCTAVIUS TELLING HIM HOW DISAPPOINTED HE WAS because listen, we all know mcu peter adored tony stark, and i dont mean to discredit that at all, but multiply that level of hero-worship by ten, okay. doc ock was peter’s everything (check the main fight when he literally shouts that doc ock was a father to him and he was everything peter wanted to be. pete admits to worshipping doc ock. like pete would have followed octavius to the ends of the earth if he asked. he was willing to help get at norman, okay, so long as nobody got hurt.)

having to literally chase after his surrogate father/mentor while listening to said father/mentor tell him all about how he expected more, how peter should have helped him, how he considered peter a son while having to put together an antidote bc he’s dying?? not to mention that he had to fight the doc ock tentacles and scorpion the entire time. and peter, he knew it was an hallucination, he knew it was just the neurotoxin working against him and causing him to see things and imagine things, but the thing is that the neurotoxin can only do so much by itself? like yeah i’m sure scorpion has some level of control over what thoughts his victim has, but for those thoughts to be displayed so strongly means that peter had to already be thinking them.

and that’s the worst part? like he saw doc ock on the raft, saw what happened to him, the changes in his personality, and he jsut felt he hadn’t tried hard enough to be there for octavius. he felt worthless and useless and weak. he felt like he’d let doc ock down -- he was so worried that the reason doc ock did all of this was because peter wasn’t good enough.(and to an extent that’s true because if you go back to the lab you can listen to a recorder doc ock leaves explaining how peter isn’t the friend he thought he was, and most of that is that neural interface messing with doc’s emotions, but you can bet after peter heard that he sunk even further into a guilt about not being the hero he thought he was, and not devoting enough time in to his personal life, bc he truly thinks if he’d been better he could’ve stopped doc ock from reaching this point)

so like he has these awful hallucinations where his worst fears are being validated and there are points in that where peter wonders if maybe it’s even worth getting an antidote all set up, bc maybe its too late

but he does. he fights doc ock and scorpion and the hallucinations and manages not only to recognize the toxin, but to get to all the locations where ingredients are even though the city was crumbling around him and giant tentacle monsters were coming out of poison to kill him, and then to synthesize the fucking antidote while essentially on his knees at death’s door?

that was some fcking trauma, thanks, and so goddamn amazing like. i cant even -- he’s so strong and yet seeing doc ock for the fight after this... hearing him say everything in person -- yeah peter will never get over that.

#;;headcanon #IM NOT EVEN SORRY FOR THE WORD VOMIT #sensesdialed #delivered

[thebeethathums]

An Adventure - 5

Bilbo Baggins x Reader

You were so intensely focused on aiding your party that you missed Gandalf creeping along the ridge as you crept forward to stab the leg of the troll about to eat Bombor, causing him to drop him as you darted back into the shadows.

“There's summin’ else out ‘ere,” the troll said after he yelped, his hand going to the new wound you’d given him. You quickly darted out and stabbed another in the arm causing him to yelp as well and then turn to Bilbo with narrowed eyes, “Is ‘ere more of you, burglehobbit?”

“Wait I smell summat… human,” said another and you silently cursed yourself for not noticing when the direction of the wind changed. The first troll, and likely the smartest of the bunch, smacked his friend on the back of the head as he sniffed the air, “Human you say. Smells more like elf.”

The dwarves fell silent, interested in this bit of information as they realized you were the only one not with them at the moment. The third troll chuckled dumbly, licking his lips, “I like elf.”

The first sniffed the air again as you tried in vain to move downwind and then let out a roaring laugh, “No there's more dwarf smell too… it’s a disgustin' mutt. Their mixed blood makes them taste so good tho'. What a rare treat.”  

You had frozen at the word mutt, your eye twitching in anger, you hated being called that and it was one of the few things that almost instantaneously brought out your temper. You tried to keep calm, there were more important things to focus on right now, but the troll called it out loudly again, “Hey Mutt, you deliciously dirty thing… Show yerself Mutt or your dwarf friends won't even need ta be cooked.”

“Yeah, Mutt.” The other two chimed in.

It was an empty threat, you knew it, and you should have just continued with your plan but your anger got the better of you. You lost it, springing from your place without thinking as you threw one of your last daggers into the leader troll’s eye, seething “Say that again to my face, you slime!”

He bellowed, clutching at his face, and in your anger, you rushed forward only to be taken up by your foot by one of the other trolls you'd temporarily forgotten about. Now upside down, your hair loosed from its poorly fastened knot and cascaded towards the ground, revealing the sharp point of your ears that you were always so careful to keep covered.

You kicked and struggled against the troll's grasp as he lifted you to his face, “Put me down, you overgrown worm.”

The troll poked you with a fat finger, “Well would ya look at tha'. It’s a She-Mutt.”

You spat in his face, much to the horror of Bilbo and the dwarves who knew that the troll could easily crush you or bash you into the ground in seconds, a fact you either hadn't thought of or simply didn't care about. Luckily the Troll didn’t have time to retaliate before Gandalf came to the rescue, splitting a rock so the light of dawn would turn the trolls to stone.

The dwarves rejoiced at his timely return but you were still stuck upside down in a now stone troll hand, struggling to get your foot out of your boot so you could get down. It was no use and you angrily called, “Yes that’s all well and good, Gandalf. Now would you please get me down?”

The wizard came and freed you, letting you fall gracefully to the ground to land on your feet like a cat, and you quickly tied your hair back to its usual bun, calming yourself as the dwarves stared at you. It was Thorin who stepped forward and roughly grabbed your chin to push the hair away from your ears before spitting the word, “Elf,” at you like it was a curse.

You yanked away from him as Gandalf stepped between you and the rest of the company, “Enough. Does your grudge run so deep that you would harbor ill will against her when she's been here, helping, from the start?”

"She deceived us all. I have no reason to trust her more than any other elf."

Gandalf went to argue with him but you piped up behind him to cut him off, “Gandalf, he’s right. I hid my heritage from them when they placed their trust in me openly. I can not ask them to trust me again after that. I shouldn’t even be here, my anger put them all in danger.”

You gathered your knives and then stormed off through the forest toward where you had left Blossom, with the company looking after you a little astonished.

“Does it really matter if she’s part elf?” Kili asked looking in the direction you’d gone, Fili nodding along with him.

Bofur added in, “It’s not as though she’s done anything but help us.”

Balin put in a final word to which all the other dwarves agreed, “She’s shown us nothing but friendship, Thorin, would you really cast her out because of her ancestors?”

Thorin actually looked a little ashamed for a moment, “No. I suppose that would not be wise, but do not ask me to place my trust in her again”

They went in search of you and found you just finishing saddling up Blossom with shaky hands, your face looking deeply sad. Bilbo stepped forward, “You’re not leaving are you, (F/n)?”

“I am.”

He began to protest but you spun and gave him the best smile you could, “You all will be better off without me anyways. If I can't even keep an even temper against slow trolls then I will be of no use against a dragon, I may even be a hindrance.”

Gandalf sighed, exchanging a knowing glance with you, “If you must go, my dear girl, then go.”

“What? You’re going to let her go just like that?” Fili growled as Kili pleaded to you, “Please, (F/n), stay.”

You wouldn’t look at them or any of the other dwarves, studying the floor for a moment before swinging yourself up into the saddle and giving one last parting thought as you looked off to the horizon, “I’m sorry I deceived you and I wish you luck in reclaiming your home. Everyone deserves a home… Oh and someone give the hobbit a dagger or the like. Even burglars shouldn’t go unarmed.”

With that, you trotted off in the direction they had just come from and Bilbo felt like his heart was breaking. Gandalf, on the other hand, was angry, spinning to face Thorin, “That young woman has been cast out of every home and family she has ever known, she will return in time but the damage you have done is beyond repair.”

Thorin clenched his jaw, stating, “It was her choice to leave,” before turning to stalk off towards the ponies.

Balin shook his head, “Are you sure she will return, Gandalf?”

“Of course. She does not know it yet but she just needs to gather her thoughts. She will likely head towards Radagast’s realm and when she is ready she will join us again” The wizard replied, putting the dwarves’ minds at ease.

Bilbo was still watching the small speck on the horizon that was you, “Will she be alright on her own?”

“Yes, my Halfling friend, she will. She has spent much of her life wandering the world alone. She will be fine.”

The mood was somber as they pillaged the troll hoard and Gandalf did as you asked and gave Bilbo a small elvish sword, just before Radagast showed up in search of the grey wizard.

Once alone, the first thing the strange man asked was, “Where is your apprentice, Gandalf? You haven’t gone and lost the dear girl, have you?”

Gandalf shook his head, “The dwarves did not take too kindly to her heritage I’m afraid. She has gone off somewhere with her thoughts.”

Radagast eyes widened, “You should not have let her go. There is an evil falling over the land, it has never been more dangerous on the roads and even in the forests.”

Gandalf quirked an eyebrow at him and Radagast set into explaining the situation in his forest with the giant spiders and the lack of growth before mentioning Gandalf’s worst fear- Dol Guldur was no longer uninhabited. The necromancer had returned.

Tags <3:

@xxdragonagequeenxx

@bewareofmyinside

#bilbo baggins x reader #bilbo x reader #reader insert #the hobbit #the hobbit trilogy #lord of the rings #gandalf #bilbo baggins #radagast #thorin and company #reader #smol!reader #bilbo x you #reader-insert #fanfic #fan fiction #thebeethathums #an adventure