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GIF-Awake. Waking up in the middle of the night is not what I want~~

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Today I had a hard and long day! I’ll not bore you with the details…but to resume, I had an awful day at job searching.

And later I went to see my mom and I had a little arguement with her because we were talking about my computer and smartphone’s problems. And she told me I was a looser who didn’t  deserve anything good in life, and asked me why “I’m lazy and I don’t make more efforts” and why haven’t yet got a job with any famous franchise like Disney or Dreamworks if I said when I was 7 that my dream was to work making animated cartoons. And reminded me that I need her to help me with my money issues since I lost my job due the covid.

Yes I said it…and yes I still would like to achieve that goal! But is more difficult as I thought it was going to be when I was little. I don’t know why she said that…maybe she didn’t mean it, but she just said that cos she was stressed because the covid crisis is affecting her too.

That got me to the heart though…

And hurt me badly. I came home and I cried for an hour or two I think….I cried from shame, impotency, frustration and rage with myself for being a looser.

Yep. A ton of guilt and sadness is what I needed to start my 2021. Just what doctor prescribed me! And some people still wonder why I make those sad  journal post sometimes sometimes. So, this is the WHY folks. I have no mental illiness, I just have a lot of pressure arround me, combined with the fact that I lost my job due the covid.

So I have no energy left to draw, my energy, spiritually and physically have been drained by this awful day, I even don’t care nobody have watched my favorite film! XD

So I just guess I would like to remember a bit the good times I had before, when I had more energy to draw, and post this one piece of my original character Estelle I did back on 2017, because she’s cool!

When I was doodling this I imagined her in a 50’s look, and I thought she Could look cool in a polka dots dress and that kind of look. Also, I curled up her hair a lot more to make her hairstyle more like a 50′s. There’s something glamorous and pretty about this kind of style and I didn’t wanted to waste the ocasssion to try it on her.

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Brenda Francisco, dessins et illustrations

Brenda Francisco, dessins et illustrations

La passion à travers le dessin et l’illustration
Anders Turgeon | Dossiers Illustration, T-Shirt
Brenda Pereira Francisco est une dessinatrice et illustratrice talentueuse depuis l’enfance. Ayant effectué des études collégiales en dessin animé, elle a peaufiné sa technique. Sa passion pour le dessin n’a fait que croître. Armée de ses crayons, elle vit pleinement sa passion tout en ayant d’autres…


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Sorry it’s tilted. Don’t know how to figure out how to turn without having to use 3 dif programs/devices, don’t feel like looking it up 🤷🏻‍♀️

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Coucou

Je poste sur ça là pour vous dire que j'ai ouvert un ko-fi :) (alors que j'aime pas le café)

En effet, si le dessin est une passion, j'en vis pas (encore) (un jour peut-être, j'en rêve…). On m'a conseillé d'ouvrir un patreon, un tipee un ko-fi… et ko-fi c'est ce qui me convient le mieux, y'a pas d'obligation, pas de contrepartie… peut-être que quand on sera plus nombreux et plus actif j'alimenterai vraiment mon patreon mais pour le moment c'est pas le cas.

Bref

Si tu ne sais pas quoi faire de ton trop plein d'argent et que tu veux soutenir une petite dessinatrice, voici le lien de ma page ko-fi :)

En attendant bonne soirée à tous 🧡

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