#im a dude!! im a guy!! if you identify as a lesbian im not fucking dating you because im not a fucking woman!!!

[pastadoughie]

Read over what was going on with anon asks and your posts, and tbh, if you are 16 and you are reaching this kind of critical thinking and actively trying to better yourself through meaningful debates and convos, you are doing god's fucking work from early. I couldn't even begin to form the kind of arguments you are articulating at your age in your posts, so fucking kudos.

I have a similar opinion of sexism being bad no matter the form it takes, patriarchy affects everyone because it imposes roles on everyone, not only women. Breaking those roles on all sides and genders should be the ultimate goal, not try to benefit from the system to become the oppressor.

In any case dude, good luck with the unavoidable influx of people who will misinterpret your posts. Also, your art is hella cool!

i think that alot of ppl just have a rlly hard time like, getting over the gut response to defend themselves when they recieve some kind of serious critisism, like, i think ppl understand on some level that sexism as a concept is stupid, but it can be hard to fully see all the nuances it takes and like, actually recognize it when its subtler

sexism is bad and when i point out that alot of you guys believe ideas that are like, really sexist then thats like, im assuming none of you are like "YEAA SEXISM RUELZZZ!!!! I HATE PEOPLE BASED ON THIER GENDOR" and u rlly rlly dont wanna be lumped into that group

its rlly normal to not wanna be mischaracterized and if you dont self identify as sexist then when someone points out sexist retoric it feels like an unfair and reductive veiw of u

and its like, you really really really need to work past that, im talking abt this stuff because i want ppl to change and be better and if you want that for yourself u have to like rlly chew on these kinds of things

i think what alot of people have issues with is like, relatability in artwork, like "of course im gonna like art with queer women in it more and find it more valueble if im a queer woman" but i think that this points to a really rigid and uphelpful veiw of gender

ive discussed before that, because the mind numbing ammount of biological differences people have theres no actual objective definition of sex or gender, its socially constructed and entirely arbitrary and subjective

i think that labels for sexuality and gender are useful shorthand in our current society though ideally we wouldnt need them, but you need to remember that these things arent rigid

butch lesbian is not a definable group, gay man is not a definable group, they are arbitrary words that mean something different for literally every different person

likewise acting like those meaningless labels somehow make some artwork more or less valueble just points to a bias against people with a certain label

like, the labels dont mean anything they shouldnt change your veiw of a work, if you resonate with a peice of work why does it matter what label is put on it? why does that affect your veiw on the peice?

and yes you are objectively going to relate to some experiences more then others, but i dont think relatability should effect how you value the work, infact id argue seeing perspectives different then your own is incredibly incredibly valueble and, if your disregarding (even subconciously) certain things because theyre made by men then that not only hurts men but it hurts you, it isolates you

maybe i didnt word that perfectly im not always the most articulate but like, i think most of the issues people are having with this are coming from me articulating things maybe not as intuatively as i could or from people refusing to properly engadge with what i have to say

idk, regarding the people accusing me of transmysogeny i just wanna say that like, I AM NOT ALLERGIC TO TALKING TO YOU ABT THIS!! i want to be better and i dont want to be mysogenistic! and if you do see concerning behavior in me i want to be told of it, you keeping these kinds of things to yourself or refusing to engadge with me when i actively am trying to be like, thourough and nuanced about things is just kinda, not productive

#the beast speaks #ask #asks #the-fifteen #retchid opinions

[helloitsbees]

The posts and your bio are funny and everything, but how do you actually reckon with being attracted to a guy and identifying as a lesbian? /srs

to me its like a combination of the last dregs of comphet (i identified as bisexual for like 23 years before realizing im a lesbian) and also the specificity of it. like am i romantically attracted to Men, As A Concept? absolutely not. am i sexually attracted to Men, As A Concept? absolutely not. would i date a man? absolutely no. could i see myself falling in love with a man? absolutely no. and at the same time i feel like having aesthetic fondness to a singular, unattainable dude is “allowed” if you’ll excuse the reductive phrasing. i feel like im confident and comfortable enough in my sexuality to say “yeah i’d fuck adam from saw” and still be a lesbian. he’s not real and i don’t want to actually have actual sex with actual leigh whannell. he’s fun to look at! he’s very good at being covered in blood.

[violentviolette]

I may be misreading the tags, but how exactly does your wife identify with the lesbian label? You're a trans man, so I'm curious as to how your wife's label affects the relationship and what not (as in, how does your wife view you and be attracted to you in a 'lesbian' way). Fuck I am asking this terribly LMAO if your wife is fine with elaborating on their label(s), that would be cool! I'd like to educate myself on "unconventional labels" more.

i think my wife identifies as a lesbian pretty easily actually lol pretty sure it's as natural as breathing for her at this point after 25+ years. and i actually dont think there's anything unconventional about it at all, she's just a lesbian and it doesnt really effect our relationship cause neither one of us has any issue with the others labels and we dont feel they contradict our own. my wife is a butch lesbian and im a nb trans man and thats really all there is to it. she loves me like a person loves another person

real life is very very rarely as neat and orderly and catagorized as online queer spaces make it sound, and i think our situation is much more common than most people who mostly only interact with other queer ppl online think. in real life queer communities specific labels matter WAY less than they ever do here, u dont have to change ur entire label and identity for a single person. my wife and i are both deeply queer and we love eachother and that's what matters most to us both.

we met and started dating when we were 19, i didnt realize i was trans until i was around like 25ish and at that point we'd been together for 6 years and had built a life with one another. we obviously had a lot of talks about it at first while i was first coming out and figuring out what i wanted for myself. we talked about what was important to each of us, what we were comfortable with, where each of our boundaries were, what were deal breakers for us, ect. Obviously every individual person is going to be different and everyones comfort levels and needs and preferences are going to be different, and so not everyone in our same position would feel the same, and if certain things were different about either of us we might not feel the same, but for us we ended up not really having any issues staying together

i think the biggest thing for each of us was retaining our autonomy and not feeling the need to change either of our language to try and accomodate the other. being a lesbian and that label is important to my wife, she isnt attracted to men and has no interest in dating men, she's a very classic butch dyke and that identity and community is important to her, so there's really no need for her to change her label or sense of self just to justify her love for me, it's just not neccessary. i know she loves me for the person i am because no one alive knows me better than her, and thats more than enough for me.

and in the same way i dont feel the need to downplay my masculinity or hide my gender or call myself any less of a man in order to justify loving and staying together with her. im a dude and a guy and i use he pronouns and she has always respected that and never tried to discourge me for her own sake. she wants me to be happy and authentic and true to myself and has no need or desire to feminize me in any way in order to continue to love me. she knows the whole person i am and is not only okay with that, but genuinely enjoys it. she can not love men while still loving me.

and thats really all there is to it, i dont think it's that unconventional or weird or even contradictary. we're queer and thats what matters. i think one of the best things about being queer is being able to fuck with those conceptions and those binaries and the rules given to us by cishet society

im a bisexual femme ass boygirl and my wife is a dyke ass lesbian girlboy. we're both a little gender fucky and thats the way we like it.

#jack.speaks #anon #whats really fun is seeing the looks on ppls faces when we tell them im the boy and she's the girl #while she's in wranglers construction boots and a flannet with a pocket knife clipped to her belt #and im out here with a full set of manicured nails and enough eyeliner to put gerard way to shame #we live to confuse cis people

[amaianita]

💯 for the oc of your choice :3

dude you do be a life saver im desparate for oc stuff 🙏

ok so

ivo:

- his dad is gay;

- his name is pronounced as "Eevo";

- he had his head shaved for most of his life;

- also his dick is hu- .

molly:

- identified as a lesbian through college;

- has fucked denis once before she stole her gf;

- dates a guy who works in a funeral home.

denis:

- bi-lesbian girlie;

- tried to be someone in hollywood for a while;

- was in a relationship i would describe as Tallahassee by the mountain goats.

#ivoposting #mollyposting #denisposting #oc #mmm ooooh #i love asks

[syekick-powers]

im sleep deprived as hell right now but it isn’t painful yet i’m mostly just fuzzyheaded and kinda delirious but

like

i saw a hot trans man on my twitter timeline and god im just overcome by how fucking hot n sexy my fellow transmascs are. like god. we really out here saving masculinity and looking absolutely bangin hot while doing it. i love us. the amount of critically sexy trans men/transmasc people i have seen makes me so fucking happy. goddamn we are just the hottest motherfuckers on the planet.

#sye's babbles #at this point i basically consider myself fully t4t mlm #im a nonbinary trans man who wants to find and date other trans men/transmasc people #i have no time or space for cis nonsense but i want the hot sexy trans men in my life #i want to find joy in sharing my masculinity and experiences with someone who truly understands #fucking cis men grow up having their masculinity handed to them on a silver fucking platter #but us? we had to fucking work for it. we had to fucking sweat and labor for it. #we had to earn our fucking masculinity and live in a world where people still want to deny it to us #and im sick of this constant demonization of men in queer spaces as an nb trans guy #it only serves to alienate me from women even more when radfems spread their rhetoric about men being inherently evil #and that trans men are gender traitors or whatever #im a dude!! im a guy!! if you identify as a lesbian im not fucking dating you because im not a fucking woman!!! #'female-exclusive bisexual' chaser? you're a fucking chaser who cant reconcile your feelings for men with your bullshit rhetoric???? #I JUST WANT MORE HOT TRANS MEN IN MY LIFE SO WE CAN BE GAY AND TRANS TOGETHER #id say 'trans ppl really need their own dating site' but then i realize that something like that would probably be overrun with chasers #and i just want to fucking wring someone's neck #im not your fucking uwu soft boy bottom that you can fetishize #and im not your fucking butch lesbian gf either #im a nb dude who likes dudes. and thats the facts. #and i just want to start a forest enclave with a bunch of other trans men in the rocky mountains and fuckin hunt deer and fish and shit #build log cabins and get fucking ripped and kiss each others muscles #hgggh you'll have to forgive me i got literally no sleep last night and the sleep deprivation is making me a little bit kooky

[longearedowlfromouterspace]

THE BAD BATCH AND THEIR GENDER/SEXUALITIES 🏳‍🌈

im feeling especially fruity today, and i decided to do something fun with it. pretty sure this has been done before, but still, yay for gay space dads!!!

HUNTER

-this man is not straight in the slightest.

-elaboration you ask?

- i headcanon him to identify as a queer genderfluid person

-he thought he was straight until he saw Anakin on the mission in clone wars season 7 and his mind just went 'oh FUCK-'

- he experimented with bisexuality before deciding he'd stick with being queer

-he's now come to terms with being queer, and he doesn't really give it that much thought

WRECKER

-this dude is, in my opinion, aro/ace as HELL

-he probably asked tech where babies came from and he was never the same

-i mean he's still sex-positive, but he'd much rather be eating the space equivalent of garlic bread while wrapped in a blanket burrito

-when anyone flirts with him, he is CONFUSED, like 'no thank you, i want friends and arson'

TECH

-chaotic panromantic demiboy!!!!!

-he's slightly sex repulsed, which used to confuse him because in his studies, it says intercourse is natural and sometimes pleasurable...

-which, to him at least, wasn't the case

-but he knew that he didn't care about gender when it came to love

- he eventually came to the conclusion that procreation is not inherently the key to everything

-i'm so proud of them

CROSSHAIR

-🎶it aint no lie, baby, bi bi bi🎶

-this dude is bi as fuck

- as for gender, crosshair just said yes

-he, she, they, anything at all

-they also simped for Anakin on skako minor, but unlike hunter, crosshair knew he was bi since she was a cadet (crosshair knows ALL)

ECHO

-my boy echo is a demisexual homoromantic

-but he was so used to being among his brothers, he assumed he wasn't anything more than straight (even though the clones aren't straight either and it's the kaminoans heteronormative bullshit that represses them in terms of finding their identities)

-but after being freed from skako minor, he decided to try to find himself

- HE DID and he feels great

OMEGA

-omega is a mtf trans lesbian

- she figured this out with the help with the only not-complete-arsehat kaminoan nala se when she told her she didn't feel like herself

- nala se was actually super supportive, but she wasn't a patch on the bad batch *it rhymed!*

-she still thinks she's got some time to finish discovering who she is, but for now, this is who she is

- the bad batch are so proud of her :')

so there you have it, folks! those are my headcanons, and these are just for fun, so don't come at me with homophobia or any negativity, but if i did get anything wrong, please dm me

love you guys xx

#the bad batch #tbb #clone force 99 #tbb tech #tbb crosshair #tbb hunter #tbb wrecker #tbb omega #queer positivity #asexual #panromantic #homoromantic #bisexual #gay pride #nonbinary #trans rights #gender fluid #lesbian #aro/ace #star wars #no one is straight in star wars #pansexual

[flareguncalamity]

Yeah I’m about to jump straight into the deep end motherfuckers. Get your goddamn snorkels out.

I wish I could find one good take about lesbians that wasn’t made by a fucking exclusionist!

Oh no, Flare is getting into That discourse now?

Newsflash people! it costs you literally 0 dollars to let people self identify without you policing their goddamn identities. Now obviously I’m not gonna let any dumbshits who respond to this pull song fallacies out of their ass and slippery slope my logic into saying I support pedophiles or abusers or anything like that because I don’t. But ace spectrum people, ace lesbians, non-binary lesbians, and ace heteroromantics aren’t FUCKING DANGEROUS and y’all headasses need to stop acting like they’re all demonic threats to the precious sanctity of lesbian activism.

For Christ’s sake, I mean, you’re a lesbian. You must have had someone in your life, maybe a weird aunt or a catty bully, or an abusive ex friend, SOMEBODY, tell you that you’re not a lesbian because they disagree with your identity. Don’t you remember how that feels? Because I’m a lesbian and I sure as shit have and I sure as shit do. Every single exclusionist argument anyone’s ever told me has just been WORD FOR WORD something a townie homophobe who doesn’t know what bisexual means and thinks Mountain Dew is a food group has said to me in an instagram comments section.

You motherfuckers don’t understand what the human experience of the people who identify with those labels is like because you don’t HAVE that experience, and you simply never will, so who the FUCK are you to tell them what their experience is “really like” or what communities they “really belong in?” Get OVER yourself.

You don’t believe in asexuality because ya can’t wrap your head around it? You don’t understand how a non-binary person can identify as gay? That’s your cognitive dissonance to sort the fuck out, and until you do, don’t pick on my friends.

Who would have thought lesbians could coexist with other lgbt+ people?!

Anyways I saw a take validating lesbian comphet experiences and how they aren’t necessarily biphobic and I was like “hey nice take op! .... wait a minute” and sure enough the first thing in their bio was exclusionist. Disgraceful. Imagine thinking you’re being validating and the first thing you put in your bio is about how you hate minorities. Go eat your own kneecaps. I’m so tired of every other lesbian advocate on this hell platform hating asexual and non-binary folks. Goddamn.

#Its discourse time naughty followers #is this motivated by me identifying as asexal before i realized i was gay? a little #but its also motivated by my literal best friend and second half and basically younger sibling being ace and nonbinary #and when people insult their identity it makes me wang to bash those peoples skulls in violently with the nearest large rock #oooh look at the scary violent lesbian she said shed bash someones skull in not a very civilized way to make your point #tone policing is classist and racist and ill bite your toes off #if youre asexual and not a creepy abusive fucker because anyone can be as evidenced by exclusionists youre hereby invited to be my friend #i will defend your honor with my fists #follow me if you wanna kiss a girl and you dont care if she’s ace #dont hop in my dms telling me you disagree with me because i couldnt give less of a shit #good on you for forming all your opinions while fingerblasting a terf backstage during a production of dear evan hansen #leave me out of it this isnt a discourse blog #im posting this because im at a point in my depressive spiral where i no longer fear being called out for opinions im proud of #this post is obviously not anti lesbian because. motherfucker im a lesbian #im simply saying i see a lot more lesbian exclusionists than. idk. bisexual male exclusionists? whats the opposite of a lesbian anyways #fuuuuuuuuuck me dude. just really. fuck me up my guy #obviously i understand im not gonna solve exclusionism with one post #yeah i guess im just white knighting for ace people but hey you know what? its 4am #and ive had this exact type of lesbian say to my face before that im not a lesbian after knowing me for 3 months and it made me break down #so i do kind of know how it feels #ntm i literally did identify as asexual for like 3-4 years #i honestly might as well have been because at the time i was going through some genuine trauma and as we all should by now know #sexuality is fucking fluid and can change over fhe course of one’s development #and i dont think my identity was invalid at the time or a result of being groomed by evil aces to deny my true lesbianism #because im not a headass conspiracy theorist who thinks ace people are bourgeoise spies #what was i saying? oh yeah #so anyways im white knighting for the ace community now. i think this will simply be my career #if you would like i can make a silly magnet poem about it and put it on my silly magnet poem blog

[wearequeer-andwearehere]

Hello!:D i came here just to say that im identifying as a lesboyflux guy :)) basically i only feel like identifying as a lesboy when im dating a woman/fem-alligned person. My friends arent very supportive of mspec lesbians or lesboys and i dont want to start a fight, but im proud and i wanted to tell someone so here i am :)) this label feels really comfy

Heya :DDD

Fuck yeah my dude, that’s awesome and hella cool of you!!!!!!!!! Lesboys are awesome!!

Ooh lesboyflux is a really cool label!! I’ve never heard of it before but it seems awesome omg, shoutout to yall!!

Ahhh damn I’m sorry about your friends mate, you deserve so much better than that.

Fuck yeah, you should be proud!! That’s awesome, and I’m so glad you found a label that makes you feel comfy.

Have a wonderful day anon!! Ily <3 /p

#ask #anon

[its-an-inxp-again]

Hey

Idk if you ever got the answer to your thing. But I’m a person who is queer but regularly uses the term lesbian to make things simpler. I can tell you why I hate the phrase monosexual- it feels transphobic to me- I am not attracted to men at all, but I am attracted to women, non-binary folks, gender queer folks, and agender folks. If I was with a partner and they transitioned to be a man I would still love them. That wouldn’t change. Sexuality is fluid and calling someone monosexual seems to erase that and really put people in boxes. Everyone has exceptions. And as someone who has identified as bisexual and pansexual in the past and find those not to suit me and fit right (especially since I am not sexually/romantically attracted to people physically/based on appearances- it’s more about personality and what I could do with a person)

I don’t mean this in an antagonistic way, I really hope it doesn’t come off that way(I’m bad expressing myself sorry).

(I’m sorry, I know you’re not trying to be rude. My answer, however, will sound rude and upset because you touched upon some stuff that needs a lot of unpacking to me lmao. Just know this anger is not necessarily directed at you but at biphobia in general.)

Why do bisexual people may need to use the term monosexual?

A. It is descriptive

I see what you mean but as you said you're queer and lesbian is a term to make things simpler, right?

So I wouldnt call you monosexual because you’re clearly not attracted to only one gender (but if you want to who I am to stop you?). Monosexual is someone who is almost exclusively dating/is attracted to people of one gender. There are plenty trans people that are straight or gay that would NOT date a partner if they realized they were a different gender. For real: kat blaque made a video (here it is if youre interested) on youtube about this - she’s trans and she wants to date men and wouldnt feel comfortable on continuing dating if a partner of hers realized they were actually a trans woman all along. She wants to date guys not girls and that's FINE it just means A. She actually recognizes the girl gender, obviously B. She's straight af and that's wonderful! It’s not a box if that’s how her experience is and she likes it that way!

Also how is being monosexual transphobic? Cant a girl just like guys exclusively (both cis and trans) or like girls exclusively (both cis and trans)? It's not even enbyphobic since you dont need to be attracted to a person to support their rights. (Gay men arent attracted to women but can be 100% feminists.) Being open to fuck somebody is not the same as supporting their rights: fetishization is a thing. Again, I refer to the video Kat Blaque made.

Sexuality IS fluid but to some people (like me and you) it is more than others. Some people don’t feel comfortable dating people that dont fall into the gender theyre usually attracted to and thats 100% okay.

B. It helps in talking about biphobia and panphobia in society

Biphobia and panphobia are for the large part based on the assumption that you cant be attracted to more than one gender (not even non-binary and so on) and that if you do you're weird/disgusting/mentally ill/a sexual predator. I can tell you 100% that's the narrative both straight and gay people can and may perpetuate since I struggle w this kind of shit every single time Im attracted to someone no matter their gender (YES, EVEN IF THEY'RE A GUY, BECAUSE THE OTHER DAY I WAS ATTRACTED TO A GIRL AND NOW I FEEL LIKE A FUCKING ANIMAL THAT CANT CONTROL ITSELF, even though it makes NO sense because if it was two girls or two boys the actual number of people my hormones activated to wouldnt change, but it would make my experience not subjected to biphobia!). I’m not saying gay people are the same as straight people. But I do feel alienated BOTH from heteronormative society AND from (subtly biphobic) gay spaces because of my bisexuality. I costantly feel like I’m outside both of those worlds and you know how humans are: I just need a term to encompass it all easily, to say “I don’t identify with any of this” (which is both straight and strictly gay spaces: ie, monosexual). To me is literally the same as saying non-bisexual/non-pansexual.

I dont mean to say lesbians or gays have it easier or are just like straight people. But we do have different experiences and I need terms to express that. It honestly doesnt matter to me if you identify as lesbian or queer (though I think you’re implying you’re more queer than anything). But I do need a term to talk about how society at large treats sexuality; ie, as a monosexual thing. Another concept that’s been thrown around is bi erasure. A strictly monosexual society is bound to view a girl dating a girl (or girl presenting) as if theyre both LESBIANS and erase a queer person the moment they’re in a m/f relationship, because people cant COMPUTE that it may not be the case and that the girl dating a cis straight dude isnt betraying her queerness.To think so is basic biphobia.

In some ways, I think it’s the same as when transgender people started using the term cisgender - which is applicable to both straight people and queer/gay people. They simply needed a term which meant “not-trans” as they were saying “I dont identify with this” (ie the cisgender experience). Does it imply that cisgender people, no matter if queer, have something in common? Yeah, yeah it does. Does it imply that queer people are just the same as straight people, or face no oppression? Of course not. Seeing people being offended upon being called monosexual feels like people being offended upon being called cis to me.

Also, saying that the terms bisexual people use are transphobic is almost implying that bisexuality is inherently transphobic? Or reeks to me of that kind of rhetoric. I use the terms I need to use, just like any other marginilized group does, and nobody outside of that group has any right of denying me that. It’s like I’m trying to create a safe space for myself and people like me and yall come around to judge us YET AGAIN. And I'm just tired of hearing this bullshit. I could accept this kind of criticism only if it came from a trans person themselves, I guess? But it’s not usually trans people who accuse us of being transphobic, in fact, many trans people identify as bisexual and use bisexual terminology lmfao.

“Hearts not parts” rhetoric

Finally, about personality being superior to physical appearance. That's amazing but I do want to note that, not you necessarily, but many people who are into the “hearts not parts” rhetoric are, how can I say this. Slut-shaming people? I’m not sure if you are doing this but I feel it needs to be said just to be sure. A lesbian trans woman can be just attracted to a girl for her physical appearance and just want to fuck her - and THAT'S OKAY. That's fine. I am a sexually attracted to people and that doesnt mean I have to form a deep bond first. Sex positivity is about accepting that people can feel like this and not shame them for this. "Hearts not parts” rhetoric has in the past infantilized, sanitized or outright shamed other queer experiences. It's fine if you feel that way but dont start acting like you're morally superior because of that. That's catholicism with extra steps. My bisexuality its not the symptom of some predatory and animalistic thing that should be purified into something more palatable and less sexual. That’s the same thing they used to say about gay people and now gay (biphobic) people are using this against us. That’s also the kind of thing trans women (especially if they’re sapphic) constantly hear every fucking day. Queer people have a good part of their discrimination rooted in the shaming of purely sexual desires. Forcing ourselves to be more palatable and less sexual is just respectability politics. I’m tired of it. (This is obviously different from being on the asexual spectrum: but you dont see ace people going around pretending they’re morally superior than everybody else, and many are actually very sex positive)   You would still love your partner if they were a different gender: that’s great, but that’s not how some (most) people feel, and they aren’t superficial because of this, just different from you.

Also, I think you’d really benefit from hearing a trans person say they don’t care if someone has genitalia preferences. Here it is. This obviously doesnt mean that every trans person will feel like she does, but it does mean that we can’t generalize trans experiences/preferences/what they feel transphobia is. Just like straight people dont get to say what’s homophobic or not, cis people dont get to say what’s transphobic or not. The definition of those terms relies entirely on the community that is targeted by these things.

I hope this wasnt excessively confusing but I wanted to make my point clear.

#ask #anon ask #sometimes i say stuff #tw biphobia #tw transphobia #tw panphobia #tw queerphobia #lgbt #lgbtqia

[pogasm]

WAIT GUYS IM GONNA TALK ABOUT MY SEXUALITY CRISIS

ok idk what months this happened in bc my memory is absolute shot, but I remember the really important bits

For most of last year I ided as a nonbinary lesbian (LMAO) and I don’t think I was really into my lesbian label? Bc my sexuality was just ‘I’ll fuck anyone that isn’t a cis man’

And then about a few months (two or so) after the Witcher cake out on Netflix I watched the show, and I was like ‘wow. Henry cavil looks nice. It’s a bit sad that I’m a big ol lesbo and I can’t go for him tho’ (yes Ik I sound batshit but whatever)

And then a few months passed, and I was actively questioning my sexuality (not my gender tho) and then for some reason I decided to watch the Witcher again. Maybe to torture myself? Idk

And I was like ‘wow I would lick the sweat off this mans abs (but not in a sexual way)’

Tiktok lesbians convinced me that I was feeling comphet. And so I pushed my massive crush on Henry cavil to the side again

And then I started seeing femboys.

They were everywhere. And they were so beautiful.

There was buff ones, and skinny ones, and short ones, and fat ones, and they all looked so ethereal.

I still convinced myself that what I was feeling was comphet, or that I was just attracted to the idea of femininity.

Fast forward a few weeks (or months?) and then this random dude dmed me on tumblr and he was like

‘You like piss?’

(Paraphrasing ofc, I don’t remember word for word)

And I said yes and then he gave me the link to a discord server

At that point a was identifying as queer bc I just didn’t want to think about my sexuality.

Anyways I joined the discord everyone was having a gender crisis and I was like hey I’m probably transmasc haha! I mean I’d definitely be happier if I was amab so...

And then I did some more soul searching and I was like you know what? I’m tired of trying to figure out my sexuality. I just be liking people. I’m gonna slap the pan label on myself, and whoever thinks otherwise can suck my massive penis.

The end lol

Ik this is probably incoherent and very long but idk I decided to write it and post here

#long post #neon is venting again🤤 #neon says stupid shit

[izzyliker]

abt the whole bi lesbian discourse thing. I always assumed it worked like lesbians (and straight dudes) attracted to women would also be attracted to nb ppl that ““presented”” or passed as “female”. Obviously not all nb ppl pass or are perceived as “female” but I figured the ones who do are the ones lesbians/straight guys would find be interested in? Is this an enbyphobic way of looking at it?

okay im gonna try to explain this in a way thatll make sense.

i think the root of the issue is that people are treating ‘what kind of presentation sparks an initial attraction in me’ and ‘who i would be attracted to after finding out their gender’ as questions with the same kind of weight re: transphobic implications.

a lesbian being attracted to a random person that they have no fucking clue what their gender is but whose aesthetic/presentation matches what they read to be a woman is not enbyphobic. same with gay men or straight people. this is a perfectly normal thing. theres that one iconic tweet that sometimes circulates around about that gay guy who kissed a lesbian at a gay bar because the lesbian thought he was a butch lesbian and he thought the lesbian was a twink gay man. 

the ISSUE here is when people conflate that initial attraction with whether they have a pass to ignore the gender of the person because of the initial attraction based on their presentation. a gay man seeing someone they think is a man and thinking oh, theyre cute! and striking up a convo with that person based on that attraction is Perfectly Fine. when that person says ‘oh, im actually not a dude!’ and the gay guy continues to pursue them regardless because of their presentation, that is not awesome.

the other big issue with ‘nonbinary people can look like anything so everyone is attracted to nonbinary people’ is that people of any gender can look like anything. ive seen people i thought were women and thought eh, found out theyre fem presenting gay men and thought oh... maybe they are in fact cute.... and im sure the opposite has happened to others – seeing a cute person, finding out theyre actually not the gender you thought they were, and losing interest. eg the ‘kissing a cute twink who turned out to be a lesbian at a gay bar’ situation. those people probably wouldnt argue that lesbians are attracted to men or gay men are attracted to women based on that interaction, or continue to pursue one another, because theyre not interested in the other binary gender! yet people treat nonbinary people like nonbinary genders are actually not relevant to the continued attraction to the person, and that you can both keep being interested in them and comfortably keep identifying as your current sexuality which might implicitly misgender that person, because you think equating nonbinary people with their presentation is fine. 

some nonbinary people are fine dating anyone with any orientation. some nonbinary people are fine dating gay men. some nonbinary people are fine dating lesbians. some nonbinary people are gay or lesbian or mlm or wlw! some nonbinary people are only open to dating wlw, or only dating mlm [despite not necessarily identifying as wlw/mlm/gay/lesbian themselves]. some nonbinary people are only open to dating bisexual people [because they feel that dating someone whose attraction doesnt include people of a certain binary gender would misgender them – maybe theyre genderfluid or bigender]. 

(plus ‘female passing’ or ‘female presenting’ almost always ends up meaning afab or perceived to be afab when this is discussed. like, ok they say theyre nonbinary but theyre basically a girl<3 with the implication that theyre 1. afab and 2. not actually nonbinary, but rather a spicy girl.)

#idk. idk. i have a lot of thots abt this its just that not a lot of them are super concise #disk horse #kinda not rly but #Anonymous

[super-nowa-art]

tfw you don't know if youre a masc enby or a trans guy and you just get more and more confused every day also you have a lotta dysphoria right now and it is fucking terrible because you lowkey just wanna rip off chunks off your body

and then if you're a trans guy wtf happens with your sexuality like you've always identified as a lesbian and you really feel a strong connection with that word but you won't be "allowed" to use that word abt yourself and you'll have to say you're straight bc ppl are so fucking obsessed with other ppls labels

like why can't i be a lesbian trans guy???? i know it goes against the definition of lesbian but like fuck you

i hate gender i just want to be a random blob but with like a manly mustache

and idk if i just have a hard time accepting im a guy bc fucking all teen cis straight guys are absolutely terrible

like don't @ me but in my life i've never met a straight cis guy under 18 that i haven't had a single problem with

like not even i don't like their personality just they say problematic stuff or are just assholes

but idk if THAT'S why i don't know if im a dude

or if im just so fkn tired of being seen as a girl that i feel like i wanna go to the other "extreme" but im actually nonbinary

cuz i use they them rn but i think i might wanna use he him but I DON'T KNOW AND PPL SAY YOU FUCKING HAVE TO USE THEY THEM IF YOU'RE NONBINARY LIKE AM I THE ONLY ENBY WHO WANTS TO USE ONLY HE HIM??!?!?!??!

im very confused abt gender and i needed an outlet

this is no longer an art acount lmao i just post garbage

im trying i promise

but i don't get recognised on tumblr at ALL if it's not fanart and rn im not doing a lotta that so lol rip me

#lgbt #lgbtq+ #lgbtq community #trans #transgender #confused about gender #questioning my gender #enby #transmasc

[candymelons-moved]

ive talked abt this before but god figuring out my sexuality is hard bc theres so much shit i need to figure out in my brain.... is me wanting to be a lesbian just hating myself or am i just a lesbian. and its like looking at my life.... i can only identify 1 guy that i think i'm genuinely attracted to. every other guy its just like.... yeah, i wasnt attracted to them.

so much of my life has aligned so closely to so many lesbians' descriptions of experiencing comphet - choosing men to like, feeling pressure to like them, feeling super uncomfortable when guys are into you, only being able to find fictional men any sort of attractive, etc.

when i realized i was lgbt i almost immediately jumped to "lesbian" in my head, but i would only ever call myself heteroflexible, pansexual, homosexual biromantic, bi ace, abrosexual (because i couldnt deal with the possibility of not being attracted to men bc that would mean i was absolutely going to hell/identities like pan/abro/split attraction were pushed as more "progressive" but that's a conversation for another post), but whenever i thought about my identity in my head, i'd refer to myself as a lesbian first and then quickly "correct" myself saying no, you're pan...

and then i accepted myself as a lesbian. it felt right. i id'd as a lesbian through all of middle school and the beginning of highschool, but then i realized i might be attracted to men because for the first time i felt like i actually had a genuine crush on a guy. but i dont know if it's a real crush, or if im only "attracted" to him bc he happens to be the only male friend (my age, i know guys younger than me but they're like little brothers 2 me so ew) ive ever had that's treated me with genuine respect. i have a hard time picturing any sort of relationship with him (or any man) and id be lying if the idea of being liked back doesn't freak me out at least a little. and i know that sounds like im not attracted to men but like. i feel a very very intense pull towards him for some reason. and i don't know if that's attraction or just... obsession with being treated right?? or if this is just some incredibly fucked up and long lasting comp het? if that makes ANY sense. but i ID as bi bc of him

but like... lesbian doesnt feel right, and bi doesnt feel right either. (dont fucking come at me with bisexual lesbian bullshit, trust me, that's not it). but i ID as bi because of some dude that i don't even know whether or not im "truly" attracted to him

i just need 2 vent about the complexities of my identity and my struggle with finding what fits me. if youre a lesbian or bi and have had similar struggle in finding your identity you can comment (but if youre a man dont say shit)

#elijah.txt #personal #ask to tag

[luminescentauthor]

Sora/Tobi Getting Together and Relationship Headcanons

THEY’RE HEEEEEERREEEE! Maybe Tobi will finally leave me alone now and stop taking up my whole brain.

Please read this post or this won’t make sense, it’s HCs about their third year. There’s also a part two that you don’t need to read, since everything you need is in part one. (U can if u want to tho.)

(If you don’t want to, basically all you need to know is: Nao, Sora, Tobi, and Mokichi are on first-name basis since the end of second year; Sora and Tobi have had a running prank war since the end of their first year and everyone on the team hates them because of it; Sora is captain, Mokichi is vice. Oh also Tobi’s aunt is awesome and she stormed into his parents’ house in Hiroshima to yell at them for being terrible parents. Tobi didn’t find out for the longest time.)

This is some 10-ass pages so headcanons below the cut!

This. Is. So much more chaotic than my Sora/Nao HCs. Prepare for disaster gays, very tired and very exasperated queer parent friend Momoharu, very very tired Mokichi, "usually a functional bi but the second you involve emotions he becomes a grade-a disaster bisexual" Tobi, Sora struggling to deal with "OH shit I'm gay," and "bows to absolutely no one and done with everyone and everything 24/7" Nanao Nao. This version of Nao is so much more of a tired badass than Sora/Nao's Nao, who stays more true to her canon self. 

It's also twice as long. Yeet.

Tobi and Sora have had growing feelings since their first year and Mokichi and Nao are fucking suffering with these stupid gays.

They were friends at first, and it really was just pure platonic feelings. It started to turn into something more a little after the first Taiei game, but Sora is shy and a certified disaster and Tobi is way too emotionally constipated for either of them to do anything about it.

Tobi I love you but you're a fucking mess.

Tobi actually got kicked out by his "father" in large part for being bisexual, and therefore wants absolutely nothing to do with growing feelings for tiny cute short teammate, nope nope no thank you-

But basically, Tobi has known he's bi for a while now, and while he's having some acceptance problems, he's not having the "OH GOD I'M GAY" panic

Sora has not known, and he's having a panic in the background because "I'm attracted to guys?!"

Sora starts realizing what's going on some time in second year, and Momoharu takes one look at the panicking Sora and goes "aight the fuck happened to you?"

You will have to pry their friendship from my cold dead hands and I'm not sorry. I love Momoharu and Sora's dynamic. 

Sora eventually confesses to Momoharu (after a lot of prodding) that he thinks he's turning gay, and Momoharu immediately starts laughing. Sora, hurt and feeling very stupid, goes to run, but Momoharu tugs him back down to sit and tells him, "Jesus, Sora, you don't turn gay. You either identify as gay or you don't. Sorry for scaring you, the concept of turning gay is just... oddly funny. Don't worry about it dude, I'm pansexual."

"...Pansexual?" Sora asks nervously.

"Yup, I'm attracted to all people regardless of gender. Men, women, people who don't fit either -- I don't much care. Gender doesn't really factor into whether or not I'm attracted to people."

"You can be attracted to multiple genders?" Sora asks, eyes wide.

Oh boy, Momoharu thinks. Poor kid. "Yeah, folks who are attracted to just men and women are called bisexual. Homosexual is the official word for those who are only attracted to their own gender, but gay or lesbian is usually used. Heterosexual is for those only attracted to the opposite gender. Of course, the lines aren't as clear set as those labels suggest they are. Sexuality is fucky, dude. Don't worry about not having it figured out. I only decided on a label a few months back, myself. Some people just choose not to label it at all."

That makes Sora feel better, and he takes to talking to Momoharu about it quite a bit.

At one point, Sora brings up how the team would react, especially since they share a locker room. Momoharu just gives him a deadpan look and then says in the flattest voice ever, "Wow, imagine being so insecure in your masculinity that you can't share a changing room with a gay man." That gets a laugh out of Sora and makes him feel a lot better.

As it turns out, this was word for word Chiaki's reaction to Momoharu being nervous about coming out to the team back in their first year.

It is also, word for word, Chiaki's response to Sora coming out to him going "I'm sorry I hope this doesn't make things awkward-"

Momoharu laughs hysterically when Chiaki pulls the exact same face he did and says in the exact same deadpan tone, "Wow, imagine being so insecure in your masculinity that you can't share a changing room with a gay man." Sora also stares at Chiaki for about ten seconds in silence, then doubles over laughing. Chiaki is so confused until Momoharu explains. 

However, this does mean that Momoharu has to deal with the brunt of Sora's "TOBI DID A THING HOLY SHIT" rants for the rest of the year, even though he denies that Tobi is the one he was attracted to if ever asked.

Momoharu, rubbing his forehead: Chiaki the baby gays are being stupid what do I do

Chiaki: I'm a straight so unfortunately I don't think I can help here?

Momoharu: Ugggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Tobi is freaking out in the background because "oh no gay feelins oh no soft feelins fuck what do I do????"

His aunt: Kid, please calm down, you'll be fine.

Tobi, putting a groove in the floor with his pacing: NO I WON'T WHA' IF 'E FINDS OUT WHAT IF THIS RUINS THA TEAM DYNAMIC WHAT IF 'E 'ATES ME-

Accent go yeet when upset!

She holds him while he panics and lets him curl into her, and then makes his favorite foods and puts on a movie and cuddles with him, and once he's asleep, she calls her brother-in-law with every intent of murder because how dare you make this child feel so unloved?

Anyway, Tobi eventually comes to accept himself and his sexuality in full thanks to her, the team, and Juri. It's primarily just a thing of time and needing to have more conversations where he's open about it and accepted by people he cares about. 

Poor Sora still isn't totally comfortable with being gay? And a month or so into his third year, he comes out to Nao and later Mokichi. They make him feel much better, but the final piece is actually Tobi himself. Tobi finds Sora having a breakdown in the locker rooms and holds him to help him calm down and pushes him to talk about it, and Sora finally tells Tobi he's queer.

And Tobi, having been through this struggle before, just kind of pulls him into a hug and says, "Well, tha' makes two o' us" and Sora goes "wHAT" and Tobi tells him he's bisexual. Tobi does not pry about who made Sora realize he's queer, because it's personal and touchy, and he respects that.

That does, however, extend the mutual bullshit period.

But also: 

Sora: oH MY GOD HE'S GAY HE'S GAY HE'S GAY I'M-

Tobi: 'E's. 'E's Bi. Deep breaths deep breaths deep breaths just don' panic and ask 'im out that's a bad plan-

Tobi that's actually how you deal with romantic feelings like a functional human being but sure, go off. 

Tobi comes out to Nao and Mokichi with Sora's support shortly after that, and their reactions are, respectively: "NICE!" "Cool." and then Nao tackles Tobi in a hug that is the start of a big grouphug. 

There's lots of hugging and crying (the latter is Nao and Sora and a little bit of Mokichi), and Tobi will vehemently deny that he cried at all, but a few tears got out.

(Lbr Tobi's gay pining for Sora was Not Subtle, so they already knew, but they don't tell him that for a while. When they do tell him, he's gotten to the point where he just stares at them blankly for a moment and then groans rather than flipping out. Mokichi chuckles quietly and Nao just outright laughs at him.)

But anyway, both of these Absolute Idiots are still crushing on each other, and everyone is suffering.

Actually, scratch "crushing,” it's moved into full-blown pining now.

Sora eventually also accepts that, alright, he has a big crush on Tobi. Tobi, their ace. Tobi, one of his best friends. Tobi, one of the best wings in all of Japan. Tobi, who is ridiculously attractive. Tobi, who looks like an actual bush when he doesn't tie his hair back somehow, because his hair is insanely (and adorably) frizzy and voluminous. Tobi, who will whoop at the top of his lungs and grin like a maniac because he just pulled off a fantastic drive and double-clutch, even though he's exhausted and soaked in sweat and they're four minutes into overtime. Tobi, who makes the cutest face with the sweetest smile Sora has ever seen when he talks to his sister. (Tobi, who is a boy, and Sora has stopped caring.)

Sora even stops denying that he likes Tobi after a little bit, and Momoharu is just in the background going, "good job, it only took you two entire years to figure that out."

Sora: LEAVE. ME. ALONE.

Momoharu: Okay but have you considered: No. Absolutely not. 

Anyway Tobi mostly complains/gay rants to Nao and sometimes Mokichi, and at this point, even Juri is slightly sick of her brother talking about "our amazin' point guard." Yer not subtle, Anchan????

Except it eventually moves from "wow he's amazin' but NO I do not 'ave a crush on 'im" to "oh my God I am SO gay," and then later it moves to a more resigned gay panic. ("Nnnnnnghhhhh I nearly fuckin' kissed 'im after practice today what do I do-")

Nao is trying to bully both of them into confessing, but neither will take the first step, not because of pride, but because they're scared. (Nao is. So. Done. Even if she sympathizes, it has been two years of this bullcrap please-)

Tobi, especially, is afraid of losing everything again after his nasty stepdad booted him out.

Sora is like "that is one of my closest friends, and given this team's stability record I am Not Poking That Mess With A Long Stick."

Momoharu, who is the one he says this to, is just kinda like, "Yeah I can't really argue with that, as much I want you to confess."

Nao, later, having been subjected to a similar rant, after he said "closest friend" instead of "a dude": HE'S GROWING UP KANAME-KUN I'M TEARING UP-

Mokichi is far too tired of everything to interfere, which is fair.

Juri badgers Tobi for a solid four weeks before he admits what's really going on, and then it kind of all comes spilling out, and she encourages him to confess to Sora, but he's still reluctant.

Nao also bluntly says, "Kenji-kun's family abandoned him, Sora-kun, and it may be because he's the words ‘problem child' given physical form, but it may be because he's queer. If you want to work this out, I think you'll need to take the first step." 

(Tobi told the team about his past late first year/early second year. Crying happened and everyone basically group-tackle-hugged Tobi, and he finally got the hugs he very much needed and definitely deserved.)

And Sora angsts over that for a while until Chiaki very simply says, "Do you want things between the two of you to change?" And Sora realizes that yes, he does, he doesn't want things to stay the same, he wants to hold Tobi's hand and go on dates and call each other at weird hours for the sake of it and hold each other until they fall asleep and kiss him and -- well, you get the idea.

So he works up the courage, and it's one night some months before the national tournament when Sora asks Tobi to stay behind with him for extra practice. Sora is really nervous, and Tobi is like "??? Sure? Are ya okay?"

Sora, voice cracking: yEaH I'M FINE

Anyway, Sora misses like a solid sixty percent of his shots that practice and Tobi is. So confused.

Tobi to Mokichi: Did. Did somethin' happen.

Mokichi just shrugs, which does not make Tobi feel better.

So Tobi stays behind all the others to talk with Sora, and they're both really nervous. Obviously, Sora is about to confess, and Tobi is just so confused, and also some small part of him is going, "oh God did he figure out I like 'im????"

Nao and Mokichi kicked all the first and second years out after just an hour of individual practice, and Sora is grateful but also, "guys please don't make me confront my problems."

Nao: "Sora-kun if we waited for you to deal with this we'd be here 'till sunrise."

Mokichi, tiredly: "No, we'd be here until we turned old and gray."

Sora asks Tobi to sit with him while blushing, and Tobi complies, still very puzzled.

They make small talk for a minute, and then Sora abruptly says, "Kenji-kun... I... I think I have a crush on you".

Tobi gapes at him like a fish, opening and closing his mouth for a solid minute, and eventually, Sora.exe unfreezes and goes, "Sorry, I-" and Tobi just goes, "Fer real? Ya aren't prankin' me again?" in a surprisingly quiet voice.

And Sora is mildly offended but knows that's a fair assumption given their track record of prank wars, and he also almost wants to use the excuse Tobi has handily provided, but he just stands and goes "I'm sorry, I should leave-"

And Tobi leaps to his feet, grabs his hand, and says flat out, "Sora, I've 'ad a crush on ya since first year."

And Sora just kinda… short circuits. "Wait, really?"

Tobi just kinda rubs the back of his neck (shyly? Tobi gets shy?) and goes, "Yeah, I... I kinda only admitted it in tha middle a' second year, though."

And Sora says slowly, "You... you like me. You like me!" He laughs, relieved. "Holy shit, I was so scared you were going to reject me and it was going to ruin everything--"

And Tobi is just going oh my God, he's adorable, I can't deal with him, and takes Sora's chin in one hand and asks quietly, "Sora, can I kiss ya?" Sora's eyes, predictably, go wide, and he nods. (And please take a moment to recall and appreciate the fact that Tobi is canonically an entire foot taller than Sora. Sora is 149 cm (4'10.7) and Tobi is 178 (5'10.1). This is fantastic because I will bet actual money that this height difference has not shrunk; if anything, it has grown.)

They kiss just as the entire team bursts into the gym. Turns out, they were watching the whole thing, and honestly, none of them look that ashamed; they put up with the pair's bullshit for this long, they're invested now, and they deserved to know what happened.

"ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, THIS IS REVENGE FOR TWO AND A HALF YEARS OF USELESS GAY PINING," Nao yells. "KANAME-KUN, EVERYONE -- GRAB THEM!"

And the team lifts the yelling and protesting couple above their heads as Sora loudly objects and Tobi swears at them. The first years learn some creative new insults. The second and third years, on the other hand, are very accustomed to Tobi by this point, and aren't remotely surprised, but -- oh, haven't heard that one before, actually, says a second year. The others mutter assent. 

We have, Mokichi grouches. We third years have heard them all. 

Sora is small and easily hauled around, and Tobi is also pretty helpless when being held up above the heads of Mokichi and their first-year center. So they can’t really like... do anything about being dragged around.

Nao leads the team forward like an army, and they march to the pool to drop the two of them in, and when they resurface, fully clothed and soaked to the bone, Sora is laughing hysterically. (Assume Sora learned to swim at some point.)

Tobi is groaning, but he's grinning, and he swims over to the side of the pool -- and grabs Nao and Mokichi's ankles and drags them in, both of them yelling.

And Sora thinks, with Nao yelling in irritation but a sparkle in her eyes and a grin she's failing to fight off, with Mokichi laughing quietly as he flings his wet bangs out of his eyes, with Tobi laughing hysterically, his hair slicked back by water, with the four of them wearing all of their clothes and soaked to the bone, their entire team yanking off their shirts to jump into the pool with them and the moon and stars shining overhead, that he's never been happier.

And Tobi turns to him and grins, and Sora can't keep himself from jumping at Tobi -- who catches him, startled -- and kissing him again.  

And, like, hey, Tobi isn't about to complain.

They take about two months to settle into things, and then it's just like... I'm sorry, who thought letting Kurumatani "Embodiment of Chaos" and Natsume "Biggest Problem Child Ever" Kenji date was a good idea?????

It's a bit awkward for a while because they're still feeling things out and figuring out what they're both comfortable with, but then they finally click, and it's... pure fucking chaos.  

Sora will not stop stealing Tobi's clothes and Tobi is not happy about it, mostly because -- Sora, if ya keep stealin' my clothes while I am in the changin' room, then I do not 'ave clothes to wear ya stupid chibi--

Tobi has stormed into the gym shirtless at least twice yelling, "SORA! GIVE BACK MY FUCKIN' SHIRT!"

Listen. Listen we have a total of three scenes of Tobi being shirtless, and two of them were in front of plenty of people. Tobi is many things, but body shy is not one of them. He wouldn't care. 

(Post-Kitasumi loss, post-Shinjo loss, and that one scene of him dribbling in a park or something at night with an audience. The night before they played Taiei.)

Tobi: Are ya ever jus' tryin' to figure out where all yer clothes have gotten ta and then ya turn ‘round and see 'em all on yer dumbass tiny boyfriend?

Sora, clearly utterly unapologetic, wearing Tobi's sweatshirt: Oops. 

Chiaki, probably: SOME OF US ARE SINGLE STOP RUBBING IT IN.

As mentioned before, Sora is canonically 149 cm (~4'10.7), and Tobi is 178 cm (~5'10.1). There's a 29-centimeter difference, almost an entire foot, and frankly, that difference has grown a few centimeters, and you bet Tobi is going to abuse the shit out of this.

He literally holds things Sora wants over Sora's head all the time and Sora hates it. Like yes, Tobi did this before they dated too, but now Tobi is doing it more just to be annoying. It's also the only way Tobi can keep his clothes out of Sora's hands whenever they aren't on Tobi's person. (It's kind of hard to steal a shirt when someone is wearing it.) 

"THIS IS ABUSE!"

"Me holdin' m' own jacket above m' head so that ya can't steal it from me isn't abuse, it’s self-preservation! It’s like -20 degrees out there, Sora, use yer own jacket!"

I personally headcanon Tobi shooting up like a weed, but whether he did or not, he's probably between 180 and 190 now (5'11 and 6'3). Meanwhile, Sora is like maybe 155-60. It is possible that Sora also shoots up, but I feel like he would hit 165 at most. That would have him growing 16 cm, which is 8 inches, so. That's a lot of inches to grow in two and a half years. 

The things Tobi holds above his head are mostly his own clothes and also food items, plus the occasional basketball.

He also sometimes will nab Sora's clothes and hold them up in the air just to get back at him. Sora will be leaping up in the air, trying to reach his clothes, while Tobi stands there with a shit-eating grin holding Sora's shirt over his head. It looks so stupid. Nao and Mokichi both have multiple videos of it. (Nao has like five.) (What? She suffered, alright? Let her have this blackmail, at least.)

Sora: :( My boyfriend is too tall for me to kiss him on the lips, what should I do?

Momoharu: Punch him in the stomach. Then, when he doubles over in pain, kiss him.

Nao: Tackle him.

Chiaki: Dump him.

Mokichi: Kick him in the shin.

Tobi: NO TO ALL A' THOSE, JUST ASK ME TA LEAN DOWN!

Nao and Mokichi and Momoharu and Chiaki and Madoka and literally all of their friends are still giving them a hard time for being useless gays and taking two and half years to deal with their feelings even five years later. They're never going to live it down.

As adults, juggling careers and their growing relationship is hard.

They both go to universities in Tokyo, thankfully, and don't have to do long distance, and get an apartment together in their third year.

Tobi probably joins the B.League, and maybe Sora does too. (I dunno, I'm not committing to anything with career HCs.)

If they do, they have to keep their relationship secret; it would be a huge deal to be gay athletes in Japan (or... anywhere.) Most of their teammates know, though. Like... Sora regularly shows up to practice in Tobi's sweatshirts.

The sexual tension whenever they play each other is intense, though.

(My pet headcanon for Tobi is actually him going to university in America and joining the NBA. While I want to do that with Sora too, the mangaka apparently turned down two anime deals because they ended with Sora in the NBA. I haven't fact-checked that, though.)

They're around 25 when the world as a whole finds out. It either comes out because one of them is like, "hey babe do ya wanna just come out? We have enough money to retire if this goes south," "Oh sure," or because they mess up so drastically that people figure it out. After all, it would take a lot to break past the "they're such good friends!" mentality of sports reporters. Like seriously. These two are not subtle. They can let heteronormativity do most of the work for them, in all honesty. 

Anyway, it comes out, and the media goes into an uproar, and they retreat to visit Sora's dad in Nagano without telling anyone except their coaches and closest friends where they've holed up and just let the world burn while they enjoy tea and the view of the mountains and avoid social media like the plague. 

Assuming it was planned:

Tobi, the day before coming out, on his official twitter: I'll be doing a no-electronics retreat with my partner for two weeks, so I won't be on social media. Enjoy your week!

Or possibly the way he came out, besides their official announcement on Sora's account, was just "I'll be doing a no-electronics retreat with my boyfriend, @KurumataniOfficial, for the next two weeks. Bye y'all, have a good two weeks! :)" because that has Tobi's chaotic energy.

Edit: Actually? I take that back. SORA would do that. That has SORA'S chaotic energy.

When people get homophobic, all of their friends -- high school, college, adult life -- are immediately down to throw hands. 

The Japanese highschool circle of people who went professional is small and pretty close-knit, and the NBA and B.League sides are quite close to each other as well. Shiraishi and Fuwa, who are both in the NBA, both riot when people attack their old acquaintances from high school. I personally headcanon Fuwa as a raging chaotic bi, because -- hair. Yozan, for that matter, is also pretty pissed off. 

Fuwa probably gets on twitter and goes, "What's this bullshit about them being gay???? Of course they're gay. Have you ever seen them interact for more than two seconds??? Are you blind??? Wait, nope. Sorry. Don't want to insult blind people. ARE YOU ACTUALLY THAT DUMB????"

Momoharu tweets," 'Wow, imagine being so insecure in your masculinity that you can't share a changing room with a gay man' --My twin Chiaki, and Sora and Tobi's HS teammate, upon them coming out in HS" and first Sora's teammates start retweeting it and then Tobi's and then every single one of both their teams’ members retweets it. It's fantastic. 

Then Shiraishi (who, again, is in the NBA) retweets it, and it goes completely viral. Chiaki is so happy but also really pissed that it's Momoharu's account. 

Momoharu ribs him about it for a solid three weeks just to be obnoxious. 

There's actually no one on either of their teams that didn't already know about the relationship. Again, they're not subtle together. If there was any drama, it was presumably resolved by getting rid of the homophobe. 

Anyway, so while shit hits the fan, Sora and Tobi just shelter in place and their friends all react by going to war, which both of them are a bit taken aback by, but like, they aren't complaining about it. They're both touched actually.  

For marriage, honestly, neither one of them proposes in any fancy manner; they probably decided to get married because the topic comes up due to taxes. Sora goes, "Hey, do you think we should get married? The taxes would be cheaper," without really thinking about it, and Tobi goes, "Honestly, if it means everyone will stop badgerin' us about 'tyin' the knot' or whatever, I vote we elope," and that's that. Some two hours later while making dinner, Sora goes, "HOLY SHIT WAIT ARE WE ENGAGED?" and Tobi, who was reading, stares at him for three seconds, processes that, and slowly goes, "...I guess? Yeah, I guess we are. Wow. We did that." 

Sora slams his head on the table and Tobi just very tiredly says, "babe, no, ya need those brain cells." 

Assume gay marriage is by this point legal and accepted.

When asked how they got engaged, everyone is just like, "THAT'S SO ANTICLIMACTIC?????" This is also the media's reaction.

Interviewer: Why did you and Natsume-san decide to get married?

Sora, shrugging: Taxes are easier with your partner when you're married.

But they went to get rings together on their tenth anniversary shortly after deciding to get married, and if that isn't sappy as hell, I don't know what is. 

They probably don't wait long for the wedding and don't bother making it a huge thing; they invite all their friends, hire some folks to keep the media out no matter what, and hire a few people to film it and figure they can share that footage later. ("I am not havin' the media at my weddin' that is a private event for friends and family -" "Love, I am not arguing with you, I don't want them there either???")

Nao will be best woman for one of them at the wedding, and you bet she will give them so much shit for being disasters back in high school in her speech.

Juri, who by that point is like 20 something, because the disaster gays don't get married till they're at least 28 to 30, is either Tobi's best woman or playing some significant role in the wedding. She also roasts her brother and brother-in-law. 

Tobi and Juri are definitely half-siblings, just in terms of time. He looked five or six when his biodad died, and she seems about the same age, meaning there's a ten-year gap. 

Also, it's implied in the manga, so. 

The newly-weds are just sitting there groaning as their friends/family members roast them, but they're both grinning. 

The vows are probably really, really sappy, and Tobi can claim it's Sora's fault as much as he wants, but he's honestly also kind of a sap too and all his friends know it.

Tobi's stepdad is not invited. In fact, Tobi goes out of his way to send an edited version of the invitation to him that basically says, "Wedding! You're not invited!" while Sora and Juri die of laughter in the background. His mother does come, though -- she eventually moved out following the "her younger sister stormed in boiling with righteous fury on behalf of her son" incident. While the couple never got a divorce, they haven't spoken in years. 

The invitees are actually mostly friends, not family. While Sora's dad, grandma, and extended family come, Tobi's only present family are his sister, his aunt, his mother, and his biodad's brother (and the brother's wife and kids.) But they have hundreds of friends there; Nao, Mokichi, Momoharu, Chiaki, Madoka, Yasu, Chukie, Nabe, their kouhai from their second and third years, Satsuki with his wife and two kids, Shiraishi, Fuwa, Yozan, Mineta, Yakku, Nino, Tarou, both of their professional teams and all the team staff, the national team that they played with, Sakamaki, Yuka and Tomohisa’s friends, Madoka's older sister, their college teammates and classmates -- the list literally just doesn't stop. For like. Days. That guest list was the hardest part of the wedding, actually.

The symbol they use on the invitations is a dragon. Momoharu and Nao both cry when they see the nod to the Kuzuryu team. (Chiaki does not cry, he claims. Momoharu calls bullshit, and Momoharu is, for once, completely right.) 

The cake has wing patterns curving up the sides; one kite wing with a healed injury, and a duck wing in front of the silhouette of an eagle wing. ("I'm sappy, Ken, sue me." "Actually, I think that's adorable, so go ahead.") 

The healed injury was Tobi's idea, though. Sora was confused, but Tobi explained that Sora and Kuzuryu brought him back to basketball as a team sport, and healed him from the pain of being pushed away from his family. Sora cries.

The shadow of the eagle wing was also Tobi's idea. He says "I agree that yer a duck because I love ya to pieces but yer still short as shit-" "Oi." "-but I also think ya learned how to fly in yer own right. Swimmin' and duckin' be damned. Ya fly on the court, Sora." 

Sora does not cry again. He does not. ("Sure ya didn't." "SHUT UP KEN-") (He definitely teared up a little, because Tobi is looking at him with a soft smile and the most affectionate look in his eyes, and holy shit, I love him, and I'm going to marry him????

They go to Nagano and Hiroshima to visit their parents' graves after the wedding. Both of them are sappy about it. "I wish you could have met him" speeches, basically, while the other stands out of earshot.

They then proceed to screw off to Hawaii on a honeymoon for two weeks, since it's the offseason. 

Either they combine their names, or Tobi takes Sora's last name.

I feel like Tobi would, just to spite his stepdad. I'm pretty sure Natsume is his stepdad's last name, since Tobi is seen wearing a helmet that is probably his dad's in a flashback, and it has a different name on it. Might've been a company name, though. Idk.

Sora is maybe crying when they change the nameplate on their Tokyo apartment to read "Kurumatani-Natsume Sora and Kurumatani-Natsume Kenji" because "holy shit that's my fucking husband!!!!!"

And Tobi just laughs and wraps his arms around him and drags him down onto the couch to hold him, and Sora thinks that life is good. Very good. 

And if Nao and Mokichi and Momoharu and Chiaki and Madoka and Juri and crew all crash their place five seconds later, well, Sora thinks, that just makes it better. 

wow! if you made it through this entire thing i am grateful to you for reading! and lowkey impressed because this is almost 5000 words. see my Ahiru No Sora Headcanons tag for more! there is also a Sora/Nao relationship headcanons post.

#ahiru no sora #ahiru no sora headcanons #headcanons #kurumatani sora #natsume kenji #kurumatani sora x natsume kenji #tobisora #maybe these two nerds will finally LET ME REST IN P E A C E #go AWAY tobi jesus

[chronic-dysfunction]

Whoops im gonna ramble on my sexuality so here we go.

I came out as a transman two years ago. I was pretty sure I was bi/pan since softmore year. That was 10 years ago. I find both male and female bodies attractive and am attracted to all genders.

However, i'm starting to wonder if I'm aromantic and asexual.

I've identified as aromantic before in the past. I find people attractive, I love my friends very deeply. However, any attatchment any deeper than that just doesn't seem reachable for me. I'll date someone new, be excited and in puppy love for maybe a month or two before it gets boring. I'd much rather spend time with my friends hanging out than spending it with a romantic partner. People seem to fall for me quick and easy, which I find confusing because 1. Im a dirty little garbage troll lol and 2. They've only known me for such a small period of time? How could they already love me?

They become clingy and then all I want to do is push them away. I like my space and my own life and the idea of spending it with someone 24/7 and being socially obligated to them just seems more like a chore than something enjoyable. Which makes me think, "so am I bisexual, or aromantic?" Im attracted to both sexes yes....but I'm not wanting relationships with them.

Then there is the sexual aspect, I don't want to be intimate with those I'm attracted to either. I see a cute girl and i'm just like, yesss! You're adorable and I want to spend time with you. Or a handsome guy and I think, "you look so good I can't-" but at the same time I don't want that D.

Like, I get urges. I look at porn. I do things to satisfy myself with scenarios, but outside of that I don't want to have sex with another person. It's not pleasant for me, it's uncomfortable and I don't want someone else touching me. I don't even like kissing and never have. I'm not repulsed, and if my partner wanted it I haven't minded pleasing them. But at the same time lately I have felt that way? Like when that kind of attraction is viewed towards me I feel the opposite of turned on? I've been called asexual by a few friends before and I just really think that may be it. I like the idea of sex in theory but not reality.

So how does one explain their orientation?

Like, "yeah I find both sexes and all genders attractive but I don't feel societies norm of romantic attraction and I don't wanna fuck anyone." So I'm not biSEXUAL or even biROMANTIC then wtf am I? Lol.

(On a side note to further the confusion. Girls are cute af. Like, I'd be down for deep emotional connections and cuddles and I always am like "i'm so gay for them" but i'm also a trans dude and it's like "wait does that make me straight for them??" But at the same time im not straight no matter which side you look at be it gender or physical sex so which is it? And lesbians of tiktok are cute af and go further confusing me lmaooo)

#lgbt #trans #transgender #bisexual #bi #aromantic #aro #asexual #ace #im so confused on it tbh #just give me a bunch of deep connections #where i can cuddle all my friends #and love on them #without the romance

[lacehydrangeas]

edit: UMMMM just realized this never posted and instead went into my drafts. oops.

tagged by @glubbity (kinda) i’ve never done one of these and i thought it would be fun :o)

[instructions: tag ten followers you’d like to get to know better.] if u want to do this consider urself tagged...

gender: female! im cis but i dont mind they/them pronouns. i think gender IS something i need to put more thought into, but for now im comfortable presenting/being seen as a girl

star sign: im a scorpio babey!!! and if you have known me for more than 5 minutes its obvious. i like to think im a posterchild scorpio. my birthday is october 30, 2003, which i think is a very very good day to be born seeing as halloween is my favorite holiday and fall is my favorite season! im pretty excited to be turning 17 this year

height: 5′3 or 5′4 :o/ i wish i was taller SO bad. its been my dream since childhood to be like 6 foot... unfourtantly i think i might be done growing... my curse

sexuality: lesbian! i like girls very much. i used to identify as bi for most of middle school and then after kissing a dude and it making me sick to my stomach so i had a Realization freshman year. i think one of the sillier things that made me realize i was probably a lesbian is that i never felt comfortable doing one of the alignment charts... i would skip over them because something about saying “bisexual” didnt sit right

hogwarts house: i hate this question so fucking much. according to the official harry potter website i am a gryffindor but childhood me was crushed by that so i self-identify as a slytherin

favorite animal: CHINCHILLAS!!!!! i love chinchillas so fucking much... every time we had an animal project in middle school i would do mine on ‘chillas. did you know those guys fur is so thick they literally can’t get in water or they grow mold? thats why they do ash baths! while humans have one hair per follicle chinchillas have 50+ and fleas cant live on them because they would suffocate in the fur! thats why chinchillas r so soft... like little clouds. my second favorite animal would have to be rabbits... love them

average hours of sleep: when school was in session i would go to bed at like 10 and then wake up around 5, but now i go to bed at like 12 and wake up at like 8. so i usually get around 8 hours

current time: 11:13 am! im a California baby

dogs or cats?: god i love both so much but dogs win... both me and my mom r allergic to cats so i’ve never been able to have one but ive had lots of doggies! tigger, jasper, bailey, rosebud, pupcake...and a lot of my relatives have dogs! cats r very cute and sweet though and i love my neighbors cat even though cuddling her gives me hives

number of blankets you sleep with?: when its cold i sleep with two blankets and sometimes my comforter, and when its warm (like rn) i sleep with my thinnest blanket and my air conditioner on high. i can NOT sleep without a blanket and it needs to be cold. i always sleep the worse during summer

dream job?: i want to be a therapist... i want to be able to help people and psychology is so so so interesting to me. other careers i think would be fun: working at a zoo, professional scuba diver, working at one of those museums/activity centers where kids always go for field trips. you know the ones

when i created this blog: i think sometime in 7th grade? so like in 2017 i think? idk math. my first username was “just-a-tired-nerd” which i think is awful

follower count: 134!

why i created this blog: i thought that tumblr was THE place for gay people to go and i wanted to be around fellow homosexuals. also a friend had a tumblr and told me to make one

how i came up with my url: im so bad at usernames so its honestly kinda embarrassing trying to explain it LOL. i wanted a very ~aesthetic~ name (my previous user was aestheticallyjaded) and hydrangeas r my favorite flower! so i thought “ok whats pretty and feminine and also doesnt sound stupid?” and my brain went Lace! very recently i found out that lacecap hydrangeas r a type of hydrangea so i guess it all worked out in the end!

what do you love about yourself? (can’t be something you do for others): i love how true to myself i am! sometimes its a fault but ive always been very open about myself and my feelings. even if it makes me seem weird ive always acted and presented myself how i want to. when i create something (art/writing) i stay true to myself an express what i want to express. shoutout to all my old teachers who had to sit thru my short stories about lesbians xoxo

what kept you going through middle school? if it wasn’t hard, what was it like?: oh god middle school sucked so fucking bad. it was a really weird time of self discovery and absolute misery lol. i remember so many people whispering about me and talking behind my back because i was very open about being gay and it was when i first started getting really depressed. the only thing that really kept me going was art and nice teachers. ive always been a bit of a “teachers pet” so my teachers always liked me and treated me nicely. being able to have that kind of support and leeway really helped.

#aestheticchatter #this was fun... i like talking about myself