#im behind to the point where i might need to drop some things and i dont want to drop any of my school work i still want to learn js i still

[the-s1lly-corner]

Could I request TADC with a character who has abandonment issues and is afraid they’ll be left alone again? 🥺 thank you in advance!

TADC cast x reader who has abandonment issues!

rubs my silly little hands (the admin also has abandonment issues/is working through them) gonna answer a few requests then i think i might make meringue cookies (they have a weird packing peanut texture that i love. or at least how i think they would feel, admin has never actually touched or chewed a packing peanut but he likes to think this is what they feel like)

CAINE:

honestly if anything you might have to ask him to give YOU some space; caine in his spare time always wants to spend it around with you. doesnt even matter if you guys are doing something, he will literally just hover and run his mouth because he just cant get tired of you. so i think out of all of the cast hes going to be the one where to feel the most secure around since he pours his heart out about how much he loves you (whether platonically or romantically!). even when youre away off doing something else, hes likely gushing about you to anyone who will, and sometimes even wont, listen. embodiment of the "shes my girlfriend ehehe" mickey mouse meme that i saw going around a few weeks ago; point is theres nothing you need to worry about! however he listens when you share your worries, and squashes them down with reassurances and affirmations

POMNI:

oooo okay so this one is interesting because pomni is actively looking for an exit out of the digital world. and i think that this is common knowledge to just about everyone around her, you included. so i think that this might very likely feed into your fear of her leaving you behind... because what are the chances you guys would reunite if she actually found an exit? i mean can you imagine? and thats even assuming you guys would remember your time in the digital world when you return; im kind of on the fence on whether or not the digital memories would still be there after an escape, since you forget everything when you enter the digital world... (also as a side note for fluff with that idea imagine meeting with whoever after escaping and not knowing youve met before but you guys still fall for one another. this isnt just for pomni but for any of the characters. love that idea, so much)

anyways, as ive said a few times before pomni is... not good at comforting... but she sure as hell were try.. though, even she doesnt seem so sure of herself when she says shes going to be looking for you when you both escape, like shes scared you guys will be separated forever

"together"

RAGATHA:

as sweet and caring as ever, if you confide in her about your fears shes going to make sure youre not left in your thoughts. the best at reassuring you, and perhaps even pulls up an activity for the two of you to do together so you have something to get your mind off of it. if you dont approach her, shes going to notice that something is wrong with you and ask you yourself if youre okay and if theres something on your mind... does her best to stamp out your thoughts of fear and doubt, shes not going anywhere and she doesnt intend on abstracting anytime soon (though, can she really help it, if she ever does?)

point is i think out of all of the characters shes going to be the best in terms of comfort and making you feel safe and secure; and if it makes you feel any better you guys come up with a system of sorts to pin down the other if you guys ever escape the digital world; so you can find one another.. very sweet stuff, i think

JAX:

while ragatha is the best in terms of giving comfort and security, jax is probably the worst. the guy does not particularly scream the most emotionally mature and available; if anything i think he might brush off your worries with soft jabs like "dont be dumb, im not gonna go anywhere" or something in that vein. as per usual i think it would take you showing real big signs of distress for him to drop the whole asshole thing and try to make you feel better and assure you that hes not going to go anywhere. and even then its still a little.... eh... i mean jax isnt the best at comforting people; its not really his... thing, you know? sure he wont turn his back on you or make you feel bad (on purpose) but his main way of assuring you is just pushing the statement that hes not going to leave you be ("besides, im not done messing with you yet,") and even offers to hang out with you for the day/until you feel better

KINGER:

similar deal with caine in the case of "youre probably going to be the one asking for space" simply because kinger is too paranoid that something is going to happen to you that hes always trailing you and keeping you in his line of sight... honestly, i think his fears might even mirror your own; youre scared that hes going to leave you behind, and hes scared that something is going to happen to you and you wont be around anymore. neither of you can bury the thought... and in a weird, and perhaps even an unhealthy way depending on how intense it is and how you personally view it, you guys find comfort in your shared fears. like a confirmation that the two of you are too afraid to let go... you poor things... in short, you dont need to worry about anything, kinger is not going to be going anywhere..! in terms of comfort, he lets you hug and hold him and mess with his robes fur while reassuring you. back pats n rubs are in order, me thinks

ZOOBLE:

while zooble might come off as mean and cold, i dont think theyre exactly an asshole. sure they can come off as such thanks to their tone and attitude, but they care about you and while they struggle with expressing that... theyre trying their best... so at least theres an effort to let you know that they at least enjoy your presence..! their... flat voice doesnt really do them any favors but thats just how they talk. very firm in telling you that theyre not going anywhere, and to the point about it. while the others may go on tangents about why they wont leave, zooble will be blunt in simply saying that they care about you and that youre cool and that theyre not planning on just up and ditching you. now THATS not cool, unless you did something to them that warranted such a reaction... but what are the odds of that + then they would be in their right to bounce yk?

that aside, theyre firm and blunt in terms of comforting you, and often times offer to let you take the reigns for the day to choose what you guys do, in an attempt to make you feel better with something you enjoy!

GANGLE:

oh ho ho i think she would also have abandonment issues.... i mean it comes with the shy artist thing, you know? outcast weird kid who actually is a neurodivergant individual energy, you know? ponders. so i think, similar to kingers piece you guys find mutual comfort in the fact youre both so scared of the other leaving (again, the energy around that is up to you) and in an odd way it brings you two even closer. though, i dont think that would be enough for either of you to actually overcome your fear of abandonment, because ultimately its both something you guys need to work on... but why do it alone? you guys probably share tips and build each other up, going through something with a friend/partner isnt as scary or intimidating as doing it alone... so thats nice, i think..! not many ideas for gangle, unfortunately but i think i will leave this open with the concept of both of you healing and all that :3

#tadc x reader #the amazing digital circus x reader #digital circus x reader #caine x reader #pomni x reader #ragatha x reader #jax x reader #kinger x reader #zooble x reader #gangle x reader

[river13245]

I Don't Beg

Navigation / SPN Masterlist

Warnings: Fighting, being taken, arguing. Lucifer being an ass. OH ALSO best friend Crowley

Crowley who had been one of your close,dare you say friend. So when he had called you very early in the day asking you for help on a case. You couldn't exactly just tell him no. You drop everything you're doing just to go to his place

He knew to call you at a certain time when your boyfriend couldnt hear you. Your boyfriend slept in rather late while you got up at a reasonable time and went to bed after the sun goes down. Unless you had plans throughout the night.

After ending the call you had went to you and your boyfriends shared bedroom and looked at him once more before leaving a note on the door.

Goodevening Darling I had to leave early this morning something had needed my attention Im safe and sound so dont come looking for me Ill be home before tonight. Try not to evil today xoxo ~ yours

-----

When you arrived to where Crowley was he was sitting on his throne. He wasn't the king of hell anymore, but you had managed to let him keep his throne even after your boyfriend took everything from him. You just stole it back and gave it back to him.

what do you need my help with crow?" You used his nickname and he rolled his eyes. "Ive told you to stop calling me that y/n/n" He got up from his throne and walked in front of you with his hands in his pockets.

As you hear his response "yeah well I don't think the Winchester boys enjoy you calling them moose and squirrel. Now do they?" He shrugs and smirks "well you might have a point there"

You both looked at each other for a moment before you broke the silence "Okay what do you need from me. What's the job we need to do" Crowley looks at you for a moment as if he's debating on if he really should bring you into this. However he really did need help. "There's a family of vampires in the next town over, I could take care of those myself really but there's demons all over the place. Those I cant take care of alone"

Sighing you shake your head "Fuck Lucifer is gonna be so pissed" Crowley rolls his eyes placing his hand on your shoulder "yeah yeah your dear old boyfriend will be upset. Never stopped you before, now come on"

----

When you got there you moved quietly trying to find an opening to sneak through so you can go straight to the vampires and deal with them first.

Crowley of course had other plans, he made himself known. He always had to make an entrance but you also know why he did it. It was so you can go undetected because they would be too focused on him.

As you walk into this abandoned facility that was in the middle of no where all you smelt was dust. You had to fight the urge to sneeze, it looked so unclean. Hell they were vampires, they had no class they were ugly creatures.

You make your way through the building until you find one. You knew that if you attacked now that there was a good chance of all of them looking for you but you decide to risk it.

When the vampire wasn't looking you grab both of your knives and jump onto its back. Legs wrapping around him and use your knives to completely cut off his head in one swift move.

It never had time to make a sound except scratch you slightly. That was something you could deal with later. You wipe of the blood from your knives so blood wouldn't trail behind you and give off where you were, you were smarter than to do that rookie mistake.

The next room you walk in there's a group of them all standing around a bit on edge from the demons outside causing a chaos. You had to think strategically so you grab the nearest thing you can throw and throw it across the room. A few of them go towards the sound but some of them come closer to where you are.

You end up slicing ones head off while the other one grabs onto you rather roughly. using your foot you kick high behind you right into the mans balls, you knew how painful getting kicked there is. he loosens his grip on you just enough so you could pull away and cut his head off too.

As you do this the other two vamps run up to you but you were quick and managed to get one. The other however did pin you down to the floor. However as soon as you manage to grab the blade you roll over on top of him as he beings his mouth to your neck. Before he sings his fangs in you cut his head off. "fucking ugly bloodsuckers"

Standing up you brush yourself off and let your guard down for one second before you hear a voice whose you've never heard before. "well that's a bit rude don't you think?" Turning around you see a demon.

"well what can I say im not very fond of vampires or demons. You guys are nothing but pricks" as you say that you go to step forward when something grabs you and presses you against them. When you hear a sarcastic evil laugh you know its another demon. "well thats no way to talk to a demon. Plus you cant hate us all to bad when you are dating THE lucifer"

I let out a laugh and look at the demon in front of me. "well lets just say he won me over. He is a fantastic kisser...I don't see any of you puckering up"

Saying this only made them more frustrated causing the demon behind me place a knife to my throat. "hm you've got a mouth on you. Wonder what Lucifer would react like if we were to cut your tongue out and then send you back to him"

Opening your mouth to say something that would be very stupid you heard someone come into the room and speak. "I wouldn't do that" everyone's head turned. The demon holding you turned the both of you around, the blade still against your neck and there stood your boyfriend. Looking at the others "you see if you would have cut their tongue out and sent them back to me I would have fixed them of course and then I would have found you and what I would do to you is a hell of a lot worse than you could think of"

The demon behind you falters just a moment but its enough that you are able to break free and swing your leg out tripping him and then you use his own blade to cut his head off. The other demon was running up to you who was stopped by lucifer and he instantly killed them with just a flick of his wrists.

Instantly he goes back over to you and looks over you. Clearly pissed even as you place your hands on his shoulders to try to ground him. "what the hell are you doing here?" he asks demandingly "I should have known you couldn't let me go anywhere without you knowing where I am"

He glares at you and before he responds Crowley comes rushing in. "shit y/n are you okay?" Lucifer turns to look at him and without even a second thought lucifer pinned him to the wall and punches him causing him to go flying back.

Running towards Crowley you shield him with your body so if Lucifer wanted to hurt him he would have to hurt you too. Lucifer looked at the both of you. "I should have known he would be the reason that you drop everything and leave to put yourself in danger"

Ignoring him you place your hand on Crowley's face and you keep asking him if he's fine and he leans away from you and stands up. "I'm fine y/n/n now shoo" he had a busted lip and was bleeding but he instantly used his magic to fix it and you were finally able to breathe.

You then stand up and look over at your boyfriend who is standing there glaring daggers at the both of you. Walking up to him you grab his arm. "were leaving"

----

As soon as your heels hit the floor lucifer is off of you and instantly yelling at you. "what the hell were you thinking. You really thought i would buy the whole "I'm safe" thing. Come on you should know be better than that by now"

He was pissing you off, this is how it was between the both of you. there was always something you do that angered him, the littlest things always ticked him off. "Yes because I thought since I'm your boyfriend that you wouldn't need to feel the need to come after me."

"oh come on. I'm Lucifer have you ever heard any stories where I'm anything but the devil. I'm not a nice guy, you knew what you were getting into when you got with me" he says as he glares at you his eyes turning colors but it doesn't intimidate you anymore.

Instead of coming up with another angry retort back you let out a sigh and shake your head. Lucifer looks at you and almost says something to piss you off but stops when you say. "Yeah you're right I did know what I was getting myself into" your voice is quiet but loud enough for him to hear. "maybe I made the wrong decision"

Finally looking up at him you see how he freezes. "what? what do you mean by that?" Tears start to form in your eyes but you take in a deep breath. "what it means is that I'm leaving. I cant keep doing this"

Lucifer looks at you for a moment before responding "cant keep doing what?" At his cluelessness you scoff and grab your bag. "I cant keep doing this. There's always something I do that makes you upset, I'm tired of being yelled at by you. That isn't what I want in a relationship...im tired"

Not giving him a chance to respond "I love you so deeply Lucifer but I cant keep doing this with you." He doesn't say much so you give him one last look before turning and walking to the door of your home.

The same home that you had to beg him to get because he just wanted you to live down in hell with him but he gave in and he even enjoyed this house more than you did. He was a good boyfriend some days. But you couldn't keep arguing all the time anymore.

Your hand is on the door when a hand grips onto your arm and turns you to look at him. He looks....heartbroken? Not really ever having seen this side of him before you yourself are confused.

When you see him start to kneel in front of you as he holds onto your hands you shake your head. "what..no..what are you doing?" you knew he wasn't proposing. He didn't believe in marriage, he had said "people will know your mine we don't need a label on it. You are my partner and that's enough for me" but it still made you nervous because he has never knelt in front of you like this before.

Lucifer looks up at you and in a shaky voice he speaks. "please don't go. I need you and I'm sorry for the way I've acted, I promise ill change." Now realizing what he's doing. He's begging for you back and your shaking your head placing your hands on his face gently.

You didn't need to speak right now all you had to do was focus and you would be able to see into his mind. As you hold his face he nods giving you permission and the memories he had shown you made your heart break.

He showed you the moment when you guys got your house. You had been so happy and instantly kissed him, or when you guys first kissed and he was so gentle. As he let you inside of his mind you seen everything and heard every feeling he felt for you that he struggled showing. However its the last one that finally makes you break.

~~~~

You had been taken by an angel who had been working with a demon and taking them both on had been a struggle but you did well enough that you were still alive. It had been almost three weeks and you know that the reason they kept you alive was because they needed something from Lucifer and the guys. They had fed you just enough to keep you alive but still keeping you weak and tied up. Then one day Lucifer had came and found you. The guys were there too, Crowley and Cas were defending you. You were barely conscious but conscious enough to hear what was being said. "Okay Lucifer you have something we need and we have something you want" one of the demons say before the other one finished "I think its a fair trade don't you think?" Lucifer wasn't having any of this while Cas was just telling him to just hand it over but that wasn't his style. "How about you hand him over to us and I let you go free" At the sound of them potentially gaining their freedom they almost let up. One grabs you by the neck tilting your head back ready to snap it. "hmm as tempting as that sounds I think id rather see you begging for your precious toy back" there is a chuckle in the air that's coming from Lucifer "I'm the devil, I'm not going to beg for anything." At his words you feel your heart break thinking he was just going to let you die to save his reputation but then you see the demons vanish and there stood Sam and Dean and you had passed out"

----

Coming back from the memory you move your hands to his shoulders and you kneel in front of him so you guys are kind of at the same height. Realizing that he was begging for you...not caring about how he looks right now. You place a kiss to his lips and wrap your arms around him. "I'm sorry. I don't want to leave you, but we have to work on the anger towards me. Ill work on my stuff too"

"of course as long as I have you with me" he says as he kisses you again

#river13245 #supernatural #crowley #crowley supernatural #crowley x reader #lucifer spn #lucifer x male reader #lucifer x reader #dean winchester #sam winchester #platonic crowley x male reader #angst #fluff #castiel #hurt/comfort #happy ending #angst with a happy ending

[dana-chan-the-control-brain]

Hello! I know you're one of the people who ship Moon and Solar (TSAMS) And y'all have gotten me into the ship as well! XD I'm not caught up on the lore of the show(s) So i haven't even seen Solar IN SHOW before (i am very behind to before Lunar was Sun and Moons brother :' D) But I have some ideas I'm debating writing for the ship buttt....I have no clue how Canon Solar acts??? Do you know if theres somewhere I could find a Summary on his personality? (and I suppose...new Moon?) I'll probably unintentionally make them OOC...never written for anything TSAMS related, but i'll try!

And is there a ship names thats...like used for them instead of Solar X Moon or is it just called that?

Anywho, I hope you have a good day/night!!! You make awesome stuff! (And I know theres been some people making drama over the ship, I hope you don't let them get to you too much tho!! <3 /P)

🦈Anon

AWESOME!

Heheheh. Thank you. I've been shipping these two since June 2023 so I'm glad I can share the brainrot and some people are more welcoming and cool then I expect. (mostly the ones who can't think critically are the youtube audience but that's expected. Since a lot of the youtube target audience are... like.. minors or really young adults who can't conceive the concept.)

I rewatch that Episode where Solar changes his name and rebuilds the Daycare in a week just for Moon constantly cause it's just... so much admiration and appreciation Moon has for Solar in that episode. I swear I don't know if it was a flub on the actor's part... but I swear Moon calls him 'sexy' as he's dragging him to charge. the stock sound effect of "OOOOH" doesn't help my APD and I've listened so many times and I have no possible idea what Moon could be saying to Solar other then 'come here you stupid, sexy-...." (trails off) sooo... idk. I might have misheard that severely but that's just what I'm hearing.

Like, in terms of New Lore of the show, it gets pretty complicated.

So complicated in fact, TSAMS themselves released a new video on the subject.... But it's NOT a very good guide, as it misses a lot of things. (and no I don't mean the stupid guest cameo stuff) this is more or less an abridged take on what happens with no emotional impact:

Like, this is a good starting point if you want the barest of bones, but it misses so much stuff. I think they don't even mention how Solar gets introduced into this family. lol. Just like "yeah Im here and I helped kill Eclipse" fheahehf. It's a super well made video though, and I don't mind the editing mistakes (clearly when the actors change the avatar on screen.... whoops. Happens a few times)

There is also the Fan Wiki, but as of now, it is incomplete, (@twinanimatronics is working tirelessly on updating the wiki and I wish they got more reconignition from the tsams community as a whole ) but it does give a decent look into Solar

There is also the huge TSAMS Lore Document, which Ceph(twinanimatronics) also worked on which contains a further detailed explanation of the story so far, for those who don't have time to watch 2 years worth of youtube content that aren't in a concrete playlist. (TSAMS. PLAYLIST YOUR STUFF PROPERLY. YOU HAVE TWO YEARS OF LORE HERE)

Liike.... yeah... this is okay but like..

This is VRchat. Aka the lore. Which also includes when they play videogames in VRchat, which don't impact the story... Like Uno, Amongus and SCP stuff.....

And it doesn't divide the arcs. Something that TSAMS severely needs more then any other SB Show channel.

Also, in the early days, the gameplay videos USED to be part of the lore. As the concept of Eclipse itself, being a rouge evil ai that lived in Sun's head (as it was presented initially but we know the truth it was the killcode moon planted in Sun when they separated.)

These days, they kinda dropped the gameplay videos being directly connected to the over arching plot. Other then just saying that their vids are pre-recorded or "we're back" after an annual halloween takeover.

Not to mention... When Earth and Lunar got a show, they became intertwined with the Sun and Moon show. LAES is very much it's own thing, but it's the ONLY Security Breach Show that consists of two Original Characters spawned from the Sun and Moon show. A rarity. So their lore continues off from the Sun and moon show, giving more info on Lunar these days and Earth (their sister)

Then you have the Monty and Foxy show (which is my least favorite of the shows... Personal Preference. I try not to complain cus I know some people like it. But I do not like the plot points in that show, or the character writing and weird directions they take while being connected to the same universe.)

And Monty is a character voiced by Davis, who also voices Sun. So Monty started out as a prominent character on the Sun and Moon Show, and then got his OWN show... at a point in TSAMS history after Eclipse got the star and killed Lunar.

So yeah. I wish the playlists were better organized here. So we knew when each era starts.

(people say Matpat should get on this show lore... And noooooooo no thanks. Keep him away. We got you covered. Ceph honestly has enough info to make a video guide at this point.)

But long story short, Solar is a "Good Eclipse" from another dimension that the Old Moon introduced to Lunar, when Lunar was struggling with his trauma of leaving Eclipse. Good Eclipse and Lunar become friends.

Anyway, here are some key episodes that outline NewMoon and Solar's relationship, as Solar had never met the Old Moon.

Old Moon had never met Solar. It was New Moon who introduced himself to Solar to help defeating Eclipse once and for all. (and by this point lunar had died)

He was actually surprised that this Moon was a chill Moon and could be reasoned with and talked to, considering he was living a rather oppressive life from his own Moon.

There's also a whole episode saga of just these two bantering and talking while they work on the satellite together. I can't remember which specific episodes those are.

You can also see the difference between the Evil Eclipse and Good Eclipse here in one of my all time favorite episodes:

Moon saving Solar's life: (also the death of the bad Eclipse)

Everything is good and happy after Eclipse dies for awhile. (aside of Ruin and Bloodmoon wrecking shit) He goes back to his own dimension... and you get to see what his sad life is like:

From his Moon calling him "byproduct" and failure very often.

But... Something happens and Solar is forced to come to Moon's dimension

here's Solar at his poor little meow meow "I have nowhere to go" stage and just... thought to go to Moon immediately due to their history.

Moon's only question about Solar moving in, is that if he wanted him to blacklist his dimension once he heard what was going on with his Moon.

And immediately, Solar jumps in to help Moon with his problems.

Also during the halloween takeover part 2 electric boogaloo, Solar was the one to help get Sun and Moon back after being teleported to a different dimension with no hopes of returning

Also, after Ruin was cured and Bloodmon ran off, Solar rebuilt the ruined Daycare in a week. And Moon is so grateful for it. (i rewatch this episode a lot. It cemented the ship in my mind and built the commodity that they've been building up for months)

We also get what Solar's daily life is like so far... How out of place he feels, being someone from a different dimension, despite the Brothers (and sister's) insistence, he still doesn't really feel like he's part of the family. He feels like an outsider. (He also has less opportunities to hang out with Lunar. As he expressed interest in playing games with him like the good old days, and as of recently, they have not yet)

also a good example of the Celestial family changing minds on family dynamics because they are robots. Lunar flat out rejected Vegeta-Animatronic is his brother even if he technically is. Like, they're robots. They can change their relationships to each other based on their word. I like to see it more flexible then it is in reality with actual people/humans.

Moon also trying to make Solar feel comfortable and feel like he's adjusting well here. Expressing his concern for him doing so much for him and his family. And hoping to not pressure him into so much work.

As of recently, his Sun died, and he killed his Moon. And in his therapy session (on the Lunar and Earth Show) he expressed regret over "Leaving" them...

But he has not properly told anyone about this.

My reasoning is that he probably thinks that the family will jump on the chance to call him "Evil" .....They don't have good luck with Eclipses.... and every Eclipse they met other than him has been Evil. (that must weigh on you. Every version of yourself is deemed as evil across every dimension. You are the only good one. Maybe there is something wrong with you)

I'm already at the video limit, but on Lunar and Earth show, there is an interesting episode where Lunar goes into Solar's head, and his mindscape looks like the Willy Wonka TV room, because it was a movie he watched with his Sun before they separated and Sun died. Showing that he did care about his Sun a whole lot... Which is probably why he doesn't interact with our Sun that much alone.

He also compartmentalizes everything before he can feel emotions, playing his own memories in third person as if he's not experiencing them.

Not to mention, he organizes and separates his thoughts on NewMoon and HIS Moon, just so he won't associate the two.

I also missed what episode it was, but Solar is always the first to call Moon out when he's being angry, or irrational, and Sun admits in his therapy session, that Solar is the only person who can calm Moon down. (mainly cus he's used to it, but unlike his old moon, this moon listens)

Anyway...

I love Solar a lot, can you tell?

#danachan's replies #danachan's asks #solarmoon #solar x moon #Solar analysis

[run2yew]

Frustrated.

Pairing: Han Jisung /Female reader

Genre: romance, suggestive, smut (minors dni), best friends to lovers au

Word count: 5.9k

Warnings: swearing, oral (male rec), making out, semi public (??)

Summary: "You want me to help?."

"I told you, you don't have to. I'll figure something out."

"No, like, right now. Do you want me to help?"

He stops, batting his eyelashes in shock.

"What the fuck are you talking about?."

You shouldn't do this, but right now, you're not sure if you're thinking with your brain at all. And that's probably why you get on your knees, spinning his chair to face you. Your face leveling with his core.

✵

hanji <3: come pick me up im scared

you: did I ask?

hanji <3: do you HAVE to be mean w me even when im struggling :((?

you: yes, and you like it

you: what happened to my favorite brat?

hanji <3: you know what time I got here? 6AM

hanji <3: my last meal was LUNCH

hanji <3: it's MIDNIGHT AND NO DINNER YET

hanji <3: im so fucking hungry and tired I might go insane

you: are you trying to die??

you: seriously, just tell me and I'll do it for you, no need to starve!!!

hanji <3: very funny

hanji <3: we can't go out to eat rn and I don't wanna eat the company food 😭

hanji <3: stupid changbin with his stupid pork craving now I want pork :/

you: im sorry, wish I could do something to help :((

hanji <3: you're bearing me, that's nice

hanji <3: plus, it's not like you could bring me food or anything lol

you: yeah

you: you'll be fine though, we'll have pork on the weekend, I'll pay!

✵

"What are you doing here?." Jisung asks, suddenly getting up from where he was sitting. His brows arching as he blinked slowly in your direction, although you didn't miss the way his lips curled up slightly.

"I bought food." You simply put, leveling the food bags with your face and beaming before closing the door behind you.

You turn back to meet his eyes again, bowing to his friends in the process.

It was late, and you couldn't help but feel bad when Jisung texted you. Admitting he was exhausted, rambling about how he couldn't stop to get some food and how the song was turning out great but they couldn't risk cutting the flow.

Jisung and the guys are hardworking, and even though you appreciate their art, it's not fair to their own bodies to ignore what they're feeling. 

So you had a brilliant idea: randomly showing up with food.

It was a bold move, of course, but if you wanted to do something nice for him you'd have to go for it. He'd do the same for you.

"I'm sorry for interrupting, I just..." Your eyes shift to the smiling ChangBin lazily placed on the studio couch, legs thrown over a chair relaxedly, leaning in like he wants you to keep talking.

"Jisung told me you guys were hungry and tired, so you know...couldn't fix the tired. The hungry was the next thing on my list." You chuckle nervously, finishing with a shrug.

"Please, you're not interrupting us, you're doing us a favor" Changbin points as he straightens his back on the couch, restraining his legs from where they were placed. 

"An amazing favor, actually. Thank you." Chan adds, eyes softening, and you can't help but give him a smile back, which he gladly returns with a small wink that makes you chuckle.

"Don't worry though, I'm just going to drop this off and go back. I don't mean to bother, just wanted to help."

Chan immediately stands up, vigorously shaking his head in denial, reaching for your hands as he takes the bags from you and puts them on the small coffee table in front of him. "No, no, no, no, no. Come on, you're staying and eating with us!."

"Chan, it's fine, really. I don't want to come in between your creative process. I'm already doing too much by having this conversation." You insist.

"Stay." Jisung's voice is assertive, a bit demanding even, and it echoes as the room grows silent, that's when you realize the effect that the acoustics of the place have on your conversation, and it's also when you realize he hasn't said a word this whole time.

"I can't just let you leave like that," He continues, crossing his arms in front of his chest and taking another step forward to meet you. "Eat with us and chill for a bit."

"The whole point of me coming here was to not interrupt-"

"You're staying. End of story" He states, waving his index finger warningly, "And you're eating."

You try to protest, whining in response, but you have no luck convincing him. He grabs you by the shoulders and guides you to the empty seat next to Changbin on the couch, plopping you there and mumbling a small "sit" when you try to get back up.

What are you? A dog?.

"So, what did you get?." The guy next to you asks, leaning forward, trying make out what was inside the bag, but by the way he was smiling, you assumed he already knew.

"Samgyeopsal." 

Changbin lets out a yelp, quickly shifting in his seat to face you, you can sense his mood lifting as he smiles so brightly it reaches his eyes, almost jumping from the words you said. Jisung was right, the man really loved food.

"You're joking..." He shakily trails off.

"Nope," you chuckle. "You were craving it. It'd be mean not to get it."

"Oh my God Sungie! I Iove you, I love you, I love you." Changbin sing-songs, standing up to chase the younger boy that fails to escape from his embrace, rolling his eyes at the display of affection.

"And you," he reaches out his hand for a high five that you happily return, "Thank you. I'm sure we'll be great friends." 

I'm sure we will." You try your best to sound nonchalant, nodding before deciding to open up for a hug. Sensing that's what he wanted to do in the first place, Changbin gladly takes the request and wraps you in his - insanely strong?- embrace.

When you try to pull away, he spins you, lifts you up and adds another "Thank you.", Your attempt to break free with is unless, laughing until Chan pulls you away from him.

Gosh, it was hard to keep a neutral expression around these guys, pretty soon your cheeks were going to hurt from smiling so much, but you couldn't help it, how are you supposed to keep it together?.

You turn to face Jisung to tell him to eat, only to be met with his eyes already on you, his expression completely neutral, his arms still crossed.  You wonder if something's wrong.

You give him an upside down smile, squinting your nose playfully, which he returns with a roll of the eyes, followed by a small chuckle.

He's probably just tired.

"You guys should eat before it gets cold." You say.

Chan nods, opening the bags and placing the food on the table, organizing everything however he felt like it. Jisung offered to help, and while he organized the cups on the table, you started taking in his presence.

Jisung looked different today, but you couldn't quite place exactly what had changed in the last two weeks since you last saw him. You wonder if it's the hair, parted in the middle, falling on his eyes every now and then. But when he rolls up the sleeves of his black hoodie, exposing his strong arms and veiny hands, causing you to gulp, you realize that's probably not it.

Doesn't matter.

Lost in your thoughts, you don't feel a small plate being placed on your legs by your best friend, you also don't realize you've been spacing out until a gentle squeeze is delivered to your knee.

Jisung stands by your side, completely oblivious to where your mind was wandering, as he hands you chopsticks. 

He takes a second to push his hair out of his face, a failed attempt since little strands fall back onto his eyes. 

His hair's really long.

And it looks really soft.

Regardless, you force yourself to look at him in the eyes, too afraid he'd catch what you were thinking if you didn't.

"Thanks Ji."

He chuckles, nudging your shoulder lightly, "Always."

You breathe out, hyperfocusing on the way his eyes stay on yours for just a bit longer than usual.

Shit.

What the fuck is going on?

"My God, this food is hitting, I feel like I'm going to ascend to heaven." Changbin whines contentedly, pushing your attention away from your inner conflict.

Chan, who's now sitting by his side, rolls his eyes, "You say that about everything we eat."

"It's true, though!." He takes another big bite, nearly whimpering at the taste of the food.

"Can you not moan while we're trying to eat?." Jisung groans in annoyance and you laugh at their antics. It's nice to see people so comfortable with each other, it's nice to see your friend in a different element. You're happy they're enjoying the food you bought.

Jisung scoots closer to you, your shoulders barely touching, but it's enough to make your breath catch, and you hate it. He's done this to you a million times.

"Yo, try this." He holds a spoon to your face, pouting when you take a second or two to analyze the food combination before taking his wrist and moving the spoon to your mouth.

He beams, watching you gleefully munch on the delicious food, licking your lips afterwards, leaving out a soft hum. "Oh my God this is life changing." You speak, eyes widening.

"I know, right?." He snorts, taking another piece from your favorite part of the meat and moving it to your plate, a simple but attentive act.

Suddenly, he stops mid-eating and moves back to stare at your face, like he's searching for something. You tilt your head in confusion, letting your gaze follow his.

"Wait," He moves his free hand to hold your face, pulling you closer to him by your cheeks.

You're not sure what makes you so warm, he's not even holding you tightly, but just the slightest bit of pressure on both of your cheeks makes you grow warm.

"What are you doing?" You whine, trying to get away from him, struggling to hide the way your heart pounds.

"Stay still!." He demands, brushing his thumb over the corner of your mouth and wiping what seemed to be sauce from the food he previously fed you with it. 

You blink, gaze shifting everywhere but his face, a new feeling begins at the pit of your stomach and ends right in between your legs. You have to gather all that's within you to try and form a steady answer. "I- uh, thank you, Ji."

Jisung though, is completely unbothered, batting his eyes as he takes his thumb coated with the small bit of sauce and props it onto his mouth, leaving a low hum at the taste, eyes still on you when he releases it with a pop. "No problem."

You clear your throat, left to face the table in front of you.

Except you can't concentrate because, holy shit.

That was hot.

Like, really hot.

Jisung's hot.

Wait, you think Jisung's hot?.

Oh fuck.

✵

"You have to chill." You mutter to yourself, pacing left to right inside the bathroom, trying to get a hold on when your mind started going where it did.

You take another look at yourself in the mirror, contemplating whether you should splash some water on your face to wake the fuck up or not.

You tried, you tried to forget what happened, but it feels like the thought is always there, on the back of your head, chasing you, haunting you.

It's been 30 minutes since the little "incident" with Jisung, and since then, you can't fucking concentrate on anything. Chan told you to stay with them for a while, to vibe with them, to keep them company, and Jisung and Changbin didn't oppose the idea, so you agreed. Now, you regret it completely.

You're having the most difficult time of your life, you can only think about Jisung. With his plump, red lips that seemed—oh, so soft - wrapped around his thumb, tongue swirling around to lick the remains of sauce from his callused finger, his eyes locked on yours throughout the whole process. 

You squeeze your eyes shut again, taking a deep breath.

It's too much.

How can such a small action rent a fucking triplex on your brain like that? Just the imaginative sight of him, grabbing on your face like that, so delicately yet so possessively...

No.

You have to stop.

You're imagining things.

What the fuck are you doing?. This is Jisung you're talking about, your best friend Jisung.

Pull yourself together.

It's your hormones, maybe you're ovulating. You have to be.

You can't let it get the best of you, not now.

Not when you're about to leave this bathroom and see him.

Inhaling deeply, you force yourself out of the room, attempting to get this over with quickly.

"Just an hour, an hour and I can leave." You tell yourself.

✵

"I need a break or I'm going to LOSE MY MIND." Changbin exclaims, stretching his body as he gets up from the chair.

"You're so dramatic, it's been like an hour since our last break." Jisung responds, still focused on the screen in front of him.

"Two hours." The other corrects.

Yeah well, the plan of staying just an hour didn't work that well, time went by quicker than it should and that couch was far too comfortable for you to dismiss it, especially after eating.

"Maybe it's time for some ice cream?." You ask.

"I'd kill for that." Jisung adds.

"I can get some, you guys keep with the work. You want more water?."

"No, no, no, you already got us food it's unfair." Chan refutes, "I'll go."

"But-"

"Don't worry, Changbin gets all whiny if we don't have at least one break, and I don't know if I can deal with him tonight without going the strangling route." He jokes, earning a nice laugh from you and Jisung. "it'd be good for us.

"You sure?." 

"Yeah, yeah you can stay with Jisung while he finishes off his part. Tell him off if he gets too distracted." Chan winks.

"You good with that?." You ask Jisung.

"As if I have a choice." He puts, ironically.

"We should be back in a a while. What flavor do you want?." He asks you.

"Strawberry." Jisung answers for you, his hand moving to hug your waist sneakily.

Your heart does the thing again.

Of course he knows your favorite ice cream flavor, he's your best friend.

And it's not like he's never hugged you before.

"I should get my wallet."

"Are you insane? You're not paying!." Jisung squeezes your waist.

"Shut up, I want to."

"Too bad." Jisung gives Chan his card, and the older boy shrugs whispering a "sorry" to you as he takes the card.

✵

Jisung gives you a smile, then turns back to the computer, slowly going over what he was doing.

You're still on the couch, but you decide to move to where Chan was sitting, in the chair by his left side.

Slowly, you watch him do whatever he's doing, huge headphones covering his ears as he skillfully works. You wish you understood at least a little about music production.

However, watching him work was always entertaining to you, and now that you're alone and you can see him properly, it's even better.

"You're really good at this." You whisper, resting your head against his shoulder, careful not to disturb him and making sure he can still move his hand with ease.

Jisung jolts a bit, and you chuckle, watching him take the headphones off.

"What are you doing?." 

"I missed you." 

You did. This was the first time you saw Jisung in two weeks, and physical touch being one of your love languages definitely didn't help with the absence of him. You didn't want to go overboard when the guys were there, afraid you'd make him (or them) uncomfortable or disturb their work. So you kept it light: a leg thrown over his while you were eating, occasionally getting up and reassuringly rubbing his shoulders to ease the tension. 

But now, you're alone, and you can express just how much you missed him.

"I missed you too, pretty." He pats your head and scrunches his nose, "Once I have the time, I'm spending the night at yours for a week straight. Prepare to be sick of me."

"Like is hard." You shrug.

"If it's so easy then why are you all over me right now?." He narrows his eyes, eyeing your other hand that placed on his lower thigh. 

"You're so annoying." You yank your hand away, surprised by your own action, convinced you did it subconsciously just to support yourself in the position you were in.

He lets out a sincere laugh and puts his headphones on, shoving your head back to where it was. When you whine, he simply gives you a pat on the head and focuses back on the screen.

Asshole.

You really missed him.

You go back to watching him, moving the hand that was on his tight to his upper arm, rubbing soothing circles on the skin to keep you from thinking.

It didn't work for long though, soon your mind betrayed you once again, and you were caught thinking about how big his arm was. You know he's hitting the gym, but lord, did he get even bigger with just two weeks? That's not possible, is it?.

Squeezing your eyes shut, you move your hand, realizing he's not typing on the keyboard anymore. So you take his hand and place it on yours, interlocking your fingers in an attempt to calm yourself down.

You stay like that for a while, playing with his rings, trying not to hyperfocus on his fingers, cursing yourself internally for being a pervert in such a sweet interaction, a time you have with your friend after weeks.

"I can't focus." He says, almost throwing the headphones over the computer. You jump, not expecting the sudden action.

"Is everything okay?." You move away from him, trying to read his expressions. "Did I do something? I can sit back on the couch if that's the problem..."

"No, no, no, no." He says almost immediately, barely letting you finish speaking, grabbing your hand and squeezing to reassure you. "I'm just..." He sighs, "So fucking frustrated. I'm working a lot. It's difficult for me to work so many hours like Chan and Bin, plus I'm not like them, I-"

He stops, mouth open as if he's pondering what to say before sealing his lips again.

"What?."

"It's stupid." He disregards, shaking his hand while staring at his own feet.

"Ji, if it's bothering you, then it can't be stupid." You affirm.

"It's weird, talking to you about these things. Trust me."

"Come on, we've talked about pretty much everything, nothing you say can be weirder than what I've already heard from you." You joke, and he lets out a single scuff, enough to feel like you're easing him in.

"Fine."

"Say it." 

"I'm really worked up-"

"Already know that, and I told you to at least try to get some rest-"

"I'm not done." He adds, tone dropping lower while you try to dismiss the sudden wave of warmth that courses through you.

"Sorry."

"I'm so fucking frustrated, in anyway you can think of. And it's not like I can relieve myself like Changbin and Chan do with their girlfriends, part of me feels like I just need to have a proper release. But lately, I haven't been able to do that." He sighs, moving his hands to his face, covering his eyes. "I love music and I love working, but all I've been doing lately is focusing on music all day, I can't even see you anymore..."

"Oh..."

"Also, you're here, touching me like this, in the most innocent way, and I can't help but... anyway- it's not really helping..." He admits, but then immediately snaps a hand over his mouth in shock.

"Sorry. I shouldn't have said it that, God, this is stupid, I'm just so-"

"Horny?." You lift your eyebrow in question.

"And tired." he adds.

"Well, I could... find someone for you?" I have some friends that-"

"No. Just forget it." He sighs, shifting in his seat, and getting ready to put the headphones back.

You stop him.

"Do you want me to help?."

"I told you, you don't have to. I'll figure something out."

"No, like, right now. Do you want me to help?."

"What the fuck are you talking about?."

You shouldn't do this, but right now, you're not sure if you're thinking with your brain at all, and that's probably why you get on your knees, spinning his chair to face you. Your face leveling with his core.

"I can't stand watching you suffer. I want to help." The proposition lingers, and you panic, afraid you're about to get rejected, scared he might not be interested in you in that way. "As a friend."

"You do?."

"Yeah, if you want me to."

"I do - fuck, yeah I do. But are you sure?."

You nod. Running your hands all over his thighs, he must've been really worked up, he's already out of breath from a simple touch, and you haven't even touched to his dick yet.

This could be fun.

At least for a moment, you can have him, without actually having him.

"How much time do we have?."

He glances at the computer, then turns to you disappointed.

"Like twenty minutes." He pouts.

"That's more than enough, Ji." You chuckle, "Should I remind you to be quiet?."

"Maybe, yeah." It comes out more as a breathy exhale than a sentence, and you laugh.

You begin by slowly rubbing him over his pants, Jisung immediately grips the sides of the chair tightly.

"Relax for me, hm?." You say. You don't want him to feel like he has to do this in any way, and you also don't want him to feel pressured or nervous about it. You're just helping him out.

"It's hard to..." 

"I got you. You're with me now."

Without a warning, you zip down his black washed jeans, skillfully pulling them down to his knees. He looks huge already, and he's incredibly hard over his underwear too, what a sight.

"Fuck, you're so hot." He whines impatiently, and you take the chance to finally free him from his boxers.

Oh my God, he's big.

Bigger than you expected.

You give him a stroke or two, staring directly into his eyes, and you watch the way his whole body jolts, leaning into your touch. You smile, so horny you can't bother to be shy, wanting to be so good at this that he falls in love with you.

Just like you fell for him.

Cockily, you begin to slowly kitten lick his tip, before swirling your tongue around his member saliva pilling on your mouth, just enough to make everything nice and wet, enough to make him let the sweetest groan fall from his lips. 

You take a deep breath and bring him into your mouth, making sure to relax and feel him around your lips, savoring the chance of being with him.

It feels so good to have Jisung like this.

A moan leaves your mouth the second he hits the back of your throat, that's when you pull back a little and get into sucking him, rubbing your thighs together, dying for some friction.

"H-Holy fuck, it feels so fucking good."

The way you're bobbing your head is driving him crazy, and the confirmation comes with how he's moaning so loudly , it has you reaching out for your clothed core and rubbing soft circles against your clit in a second - Not the way you want to relieve yourself, but I'd have to do it for now.

You've heard about how loud Jisung can get in every drunk late night talks you have with the guys — 'he's so loud we can hear him even when he's alone'

But this, being the one and only reason for these sweet sounds, felt much different.

You bring his balls into your hands, cupping and massaging his base, giving your mouth a second to rest.

When you put him on your mouth again, his eyes are already rolling to the back of his head, chest rising and falling rapidly, and mouth agape. You dig your fingers into his inner thighs, scratching the flesh, leaving pretty marks all over him, then move to do the same with his torso.

It seems to rile him up even further, considering he begins to quite literally fuck your mouth, fingers gathering your hair to move your head along with his hips.

You can't let him forget who's in charge, though.

So you push his hips down with all the strength you have and remove your mouth from him completely.

Jisung whines—almost screams, actually—from the loss of contact, narrowing his eyes at you.

"Don't be impolite, Jisung, I'm helping you." You joke, licking your lips.

"I know baby but I'm so close." He argues, breathless.

It's just a pet name

He's just desperate

He does not mean that.

"Either you let me do whatever I want, or I'll leave you here." You say.

"Jesus Christ, have you always been like this?."

You nod, "Can I get back to it?."

"Please."

Just to tease him, you don't put him in your mouth right away. You lick all over his balls, tracing your tongue against the base of his cock, never quite reaching the tip, feeling his body tense all over again, listening to his whimpers get louder and louder, before wrapping your lips around him once more. You're getting right back on track.

That's when your phone rings.

You roll your eyes, and Jisung groans in annoyance. Luckily, your phone isn't out of reach, right on your back pocket, so you can grab without stopping what you're doing.

Until you see who's calling.

"It's Chan." You mumble, detaching your mouth from him. You clear your throat in an attempt to sound normal, looking over to Jisung to gesture a small "shh."  

"Hey Chan, what's up?" You say, while evilly pecking Jisung's sensitive head, he squirms, hand flying over his mouth to muffle the sounds while you silently chuckle.

"Hey, we just got to the store because Changbin kept refusing to walk faster. I called to say there's no strawberry ice cream left. Any other flavor you'd want?.

Pouting, you answer, "Aww, that's too bad. Just bring me vanilla instead then."

You're pretty convincing. You're sure no one could tell you're licking a long stripe over your best friend's dick right now.

Chan talks about something else you can't quite focus on, and you take the moment he's blabbing to take Jisung deep into your throat, careful not to make any suspicious sounds. 

Not a good idea in the slightest, Jisung moans loudly, the hand over his mouth doing absolutely nothing to shut him up.

"Everything okay?." Chan asks.

You quickly take Jisung out of your mouth, saliva dripping down your chin in the most pornographic way possible. The man in front of you looks like he's going insane, tightly gripping the handles of the chair and staring at the trail of saliva. He's probably like this because he's been pent up, you argue, but it's undeniably satisfying to see him enjoy this so much. Going crazy over you.

"You there?." Chan asks.

"Yeah, yeah, sorry. Everything's fine, Jisung almost fell of his chair here." You force out a chuckle.

Chan lets out a laugh, but you can tell he's suspicious, and you silently curse Jisung for that.

"Okay cool, we'll be back in twenty, maybe thirty if Changbin keeps trying to buy every snack he encounters. Wait- Bin we have chips at home!. I should go." With that Chan hangs up.

You laugh, watching Jisung's eyes prick with tears as you painfully tease him.

"What? We have time." You say.

"Y-you're so mean."

"Oh, am I?"

He nods and says, "I would've never pegged you as that type."

"Eh, it depends on the mood."

"And what's today's mood?"

"Making you cum so hard you forget your own name."

"If you keep saying shit like that, I might cum untouched."

"Let's leave that for some other time."

At this point Jisung is a complete goner, he was already so close, so when you suddenly decide to go full out on him; messy, intense, delicious, it drives him insane. You look up to find him looking at you with so much desire while still struggling to keep his eyes open, you can see him fight the internally against the need to close his eyes, just to watch you. Probably the hottest thing you've ever seen.

"Fuck yeah, shit just like t-that..." His head is entirely thrown back now, his back arches and he reaches for your hair to pull on the strands again, you moan, a bit louder than you intended too as it gets harder to keep it together.

He groans, again and again, and you're pretty sure you've learned everything he likes by now because he's so fucking responsive, hips stuttering to your every touch, whimpers coming out whenever you tease him...you want more.

But this is all you can have.

Every sound that comes out of him just builds and builds and it doesn't take too long for him to turn into a whimpering, moaning mess, calling your name and all sinful things you've wanted to hear for so long.

"I-fuck I'm so close."

"Yeah? You're gonna cum for me Ji?." You ask, jerking him off a few times to rest your mouth before taking him in again. "I want you to do it on my mouth, I want to taste you Ji, please."

Jisung comes with one loud, dragged out moan that's music to your ears. He moves from your hair to your shoulder, gripping tightly at the skin.

"Holy fucking shit..."

He shoots so much into your mouth is hard to gather, but you make it a mission to swallow every single bit of him, making sure to lick him clean afterwards, only stopping when he cutely pushes your head away, overstimulated.

"E-enough, please..." He pleads.

You laugh, giving his tip an extra peck, before pulling his pants back up.

Silence fills the room, his eyes are still shut while you're resting infront of him, knees hurting and mouth already starting to feel sore. Jisung opens his eyes and you shyly smile, a wave of embarrassment hits you when you realized you've showed him a side of you he hasn't seen yet.

"So, you're freaky like that huh?." He asks, leaning in to meet your, face. "All this in the studio?"

"Shut up." You laugh.

"Come here." He taps his thigh with his palm, signing for you to sit on his lap. You think, once, twice, then comply to his wish, making yourself comfortable, yet awkwardness doesn't fail to rest inside of you.

You wait for him to speak, but no response. Instead, Jisung begins to deliver slow open mouth kisses on your neck, you sigh when he brushes his tongue right on the sweet spot you love so much, and hiss when he begins sucking and biting there.

He lets go of your neck to bring your face closer to his, staring directly into what felt to be your soul.

Jisung wastes no time in kissing you, testing every part of your mouth in such a particular way, exploring you like you're full of possibilities. His tongue works so perfectly with yours it has you squirming

When he pulls away, he's met with your love drunk face, staring right back with a smile.

"Oh my fucking God." You grin and he follows, shaking his head.

"We just kissed."

"After I sucked you off."

"Nice reminder." He slaps your thigh jokingly.

"So..."

"Yes?."

"I know the order is mess up especially after all this time of being friends, I'm definitely supposed to take you out and then you suck me off, but... would you still be up for a date?"

Your heart skips a beat the moment he finishes his sentence, still incredulous that this is actually happening.

"Sure." Is all you can manage to answer back.

"But promise me, it won't fuck up or friendship-"

"Jisung." You stop him, "Don't worry about it." You add, kissing his temple. "We'll make it work."

"We will." He afirms.

"Now that we got that out of the way..." Jisung's hand that's been resting on your thigh goes higher, it sends shivers down your spine. You're already so wet from the whole situation alone, it's unreal that you're gonna get to feel him touch you, after all this time.

When he reaches where you want him the most, and begins to apply pressure right on your clit, all you can think about is one thing:

You're a fucking genius for wearing a skirt today.

But you're interrupted by the loud sound of the studio door opening. Jisung's hand flies away from you and you quickly jump from his lap in an inhuman speed.

"We're back!." Changbin says before entering the room, Chan following him right after.

"Yeah, we can see you." Jisung rolls his eyes, turning his chair back to the laptop, like absolutely nothing happened. He easily wears the most cynical and hypocrite look to ever exist.

It's kinda hot

"I should eat your ice cream for the attitude." Changbin says, throwing the bag on the table.

"You okay?." Chan asks, looking at your currently state, your hair is not as messy as it was a few minutes ago, but the way your skirt has ridden up is definitely suspicious.

"I- yeah, I'm good. I think I'm going to head home though..."

"What about the ice cream?."

"I'll just have it on the way." You say, putting on your best smile and gathering your stuff.

"You fucked didn't you?." It leaves Changbin's mouth like it's nothing, a simple question he delivers while eating his ice cream.

"Huh? No!. What makes you think that?." Jisung asks.

But his smile gives everything away.

✹

hanji <3: hey lol

you: what do you want?

hanji <3: what do you mean 'what do you want'?? cant i just say hey to my girlfriend?

you: its 11pm and you texted 'hey lol', something has to be up

hanji <3: fine.

hanji <3 : im working on this song, nothing much, just a sample for myself, was wondering if you'd want to be on the backing vocals

you: you have to be kidding me

you: you cant possibly know me for so long and not know I cant sing for the life of me

hanji <3: well that isn't exactly what I want to record

hanji <3: there wouldn't be much singing...

you: what?

hanji <3: ;)

you: oh?

you: OH

you: HAN JISUNG

hanji <3: are you down or nah?

you: be there in 10.

•

If you enjoyed this don't forget to reblog it with your feedback, it means the world to me and I'd really appreciate it! Feel free to send me an anon or ask me anything, I'm always open. Don't forget to be kind <33

#stray kids #skz smut #stray kids smut #skz x reader #stray kids imagine #stray kids x reader #stray kids oneshot #han jisung #han jisung x you #han jisung x reader #han jisung x y/n #han jisung smut #han jisung one shot #skz jisung #skz jisung smut #skz jisung one shot #skz #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenario #kpop smut #kpop imagine

[didishawn]

Hey bestie!!!! Your works are chef kiss 🤌🏼🤌🏼🤌🏼🤌🏼 uhm I was wondering if you can write angst w Ferran? Idk like there's an argument n he says something hurtful?? Miss ma'am tbh I have no clue what im requesting😭😭 all ik is that I'd like some angst ending in fluff pls??? N ur writing is amazing so 🤌🏼

Broken souls (Ferran x Reader)

Warnings: angsty with happy ending, mentions of Ferran's insecurities and mental health, mentions of the internet being assholes, Sira mention (not in a truly bad way as the girl is amazing)

Masterlist

You know Ferran adores Barça and loves playing in it, it's where his best friends play and 9ne the best club's out there, but sometimes you can't help but wonder if things would be better had he stayed in Manchester City.

Words can bring down even the happiest of people, that person who everyone knows to be the nicest, the funniest, being broken by people on the Internet feeling the need to comment on all his flaws and creating insecurities.

It's terrible for anyone, brings them down, worsens their mental health and makes them sometimes not be themselves.

Your boyfriend, you know is broken, as months pass by he becomes even more of a shell of his true self, he might pretend everything is alright out there, but you know it isn't.

He overworks himself, training hours not enough for him, locking himself in the gym or using the goalie on your backyard to practice until late night hours, then waking up even before the sun rises.

You know he is exhausted, but he refuses to stop, you are worried about what will happen to him, you have told him so multiple times, and the screaming match you both are having right now is a repetition, already happened.

"I just told you to please come to bed, I don't think there is nothing wrong with it!" you shout at him, trying to get your words through that thick head of his, he shakes his head, a smile that is not truthful, almost cruel.

"You don't fucking understand, don't you? How can I go to bed when I fucking suck! Its almost as if you have fun seeing how terrible I am!"

"How can you say that? You know I am your biggest supporter! I just think you should also keep in mind to take care of yourself!"

He gives a dry laugh, face to face with you as he glares down at you, you are not afraid though, you know he would never hurt you -at least not with his hands that he furiously moves around and points at you.

"Really? Because I think you enjoy it, having all culers hating on me, maybe you like that I have no one by my side to have me all for yourself! Always so fucking clingy" he sighs "Sira understood..."

You both tense, his eyes snap into yours, apologetic, trying to reach out for you.

"Love, I'm-"

"Fuck you, Ferran. If Sira was so much better then she can take care of you so you don't fucking die from exhaustion" you are in tears "I fucking care for you and you just treat me as if I was a parasite, someone you don't actually love, maybe you didn't want a girlfriend -at least not me as its obvious you did want Sira, you wanted someone to keep your house clean and all that shit so meanwhile you repay me like this"

You walk away from his, you don't let him grab you a she wants, picking up your purse and intentionally leaving the house keys behind. You stop, see the promise ring on your finger, and go to take it off, his hands stop you.

"Please, amor, don't do that I promise I will try to do better, ok? You are right, I am sorry for treating you like shit, I promise I will listen to what you say"

You laugh "Only when you are about to lose me do you react, how can I believe your words for a second if maybe this conversation will repeat itself in a week"

"It won't, ok? I swear, y/n, I will do my best so there is no repetition on this, I want you, I love you, I won't be able to do this without you. I know I am an asshole, bit the one good thing I have is you and I will make sure to always remind it"

You think it over for a second, dropping your purse you let his arms wrap around you, taking a moment in them, you then go on to whisper.

"You are still sleeping on the couch after that Sira comment"

"Totally worth it if you stay"

#barca #fc barca #barcelona #spanish nt #spain national team #spain nt #ferran torres imagine #ferran #ferran torres #ferran torres x reader #ferran torres angst #pedri

[cassiefromhell]

Astarion Rewrites 01 - "The Meeting"

Series Summary: This is a new series, in which I rewrite classic Astarion scenes in short bursts (like when tav meets him, tav discovers he's a vampire, those key moments) because I need more chaos in my Astarion experience. So I'm writing it. If you have a particular moment you want to be written, comment or request it! I'm gonna try to write a gn!tav, but it might lean a little towards fem.

a/n: brainrot brainrot brainrot brainrot brainrot brainrot brainrot i just need chaotic tav

warnings: mention of violence, slight lae'zel slander. if he's ooc im sorry T-T

“Oh dear lord,” you grumble, tugging on Shadowheart’s arm. “Look. See that man? I’d bet you anything he was on the ship,” you whisper, pointing at a white-haired, pale elf. He’s glancing around nervously, and then he spots you, and you flinch. 

“Ah, shit,” Shadowheart mumbles, but begrudgingly follows you forward as you approach.

“Hurry! I’ve got one of those brain things caught!” The man hisses, gesturing towards the bushes. “There, in the grass. You can kill it, can’t you?”

You give him a once-over. And again. He’s too pretty to let die, but there’s something about his demeanor that’s got you narrowing your eyes at him. You’ve had too many fast ones pulled on you in Baldur’s Gate to fall for this one.

You put on your best heroic smile. “Of course, sir. But I’m afraid I dropped my weapon a bit back— could you lend me yours?”

He shakes his head. “What? No, I don’t have a weapon. Why do you think I’m asking you to kill it? Quick, before it gets away!”

“No, silly, I mean the weapon you meant to hold against my throat. Perhaps a dagger, or a shortsword?” your smile broadens, and you wiggle your fingers. “C’mon, I know a good ol’ Baldurian heist when I see one. Give me your weapon, and I’ll take a looksies at your runaway brain problem.”

He blinks. And then blinks again. “I don’t know what you’re on about.”

“Oh,” you laugh, pulling out your own dagger and twirling it around your finger. “This is cute. You’re cute, really. And you’re a good liar, I’ll give you that. Just… not good enough to pass by me.”

From behind you, Shadowheart gives a low whistle. 

The white-haired elf narrows his eyes, and then smirks — recognizing that he’s met his match, no doubt. He holds out a hand. 

“Astarion. And you are?”

You give him your name, shaking his hand.

“I saw you on that ship, didn’t I?” Astarion asks, glancing between you and Shadowheart. “Both of you. And some… green creature.”

“I do have a rather memorable face, hm? I’m sure you did see us— and that green creature is a cranky githyanki named Lae’zel,” you pause, considering that for a moment. “We’re not… actually sure where she went,” glancing to Shadowheart, you rub the back of your neck.

“How curious,” Astarion’s eyes rake over you.

“Well,” you turn on your heel, marching towards the wrecked ship. “Let’s go try to track down Lae’zel.”

Shadowheart shrugs and follows you, but Astarion stays behind.

You pause, looking over your shoulder at the pale elf. “You coming?”

He opens and closes his mouth a few times before speaking. “Why would I be following you?”

“You mean you don’t want to join us? I thought that’s where this was headed; you talk to us, we do introductions, you become our newest travel companion… would you rather be left out here alone? With the brain things?”

“Well, no, of course not.”

“Then come on.”

You continue walking, and this time, Astarion follows close behind.

#astarion #baldurs gate 3 #baldurs gate #baldurs gate astarion #baldurs gate tav #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #astarion romance #astarion ancunin #astarion rewrites #fanfiction #bg3 fanfiction

[mintmatcha]

i feel like it's the beginning of izuku having some kind of breakdown. he can't function and he hadn't seen his mom in so long and how could he just pretend it didn't happen for a tv interview and he doesn't want to be a hero anymore and--

that realization is like a punch to the skull and has him full-blown hyperventilating and trying to figure out where it went wrong, how he let everything get out of hand but who can replace him but he doesn't care but he has to care

the thoughts are racing and for the first time in a long time he's frozen in fear, and the tears start to come and it burns and hurts in a way he hasn't felt in a long, long time

(im not great at angst but djdjdjdjd ur izuku is making me lose it)

continued from this (cw for parental loss)

Swallowed by a pile of unfolded sheets and mostly dry blankets, Izuku can barely manage to look up at you. The suit you had pressed for his television appearance is crumpled behind him, tucked up and under his elbows, uncomfortably trapping his arms close to his sides, but he doesn't move. He lays there, watching the stationary ceiling fan as if it has the answers he’s looking for.

Every other time Izuku has been in your bed, it's been for sex, but now there's no sheen of sweat on his skin, no tickle of a genuine smile; his skin is pale with grief, stricken physically sick from anguish, a misery clinging so tightly to him that you feel it yourself, gripping your heart tighter with every beat.

He had disappeared immediately after his interview, gone before you could even think what to do. It took hours to track him down, calls to friends who hadn’t heard the news and visits to his usual haunts.

Any other day, you might tease him for breaking in with your spare key, tease him for not even folding your laundry, but today you offer the little peace you contain.

"Are you okay?" you ask as you approach, even though you know the answer. Deku calls you his 'fixer', the person who keeps things running smoothly from behind the scenes, but this is something you can't repair.

"My mom died," he repeats, voice brittle with disbelief.

"I know." You sit on the edge of the bed and hesitate for a long while, contemplating exactly what to do. You can't fix this. You can't make this better. "I’m sorry."

"I know." The stillness of it all, how his chest barely rising with every breath, how the street outside in silent, how you can’t bring yourself to move, haunts you. If you don’t do anything, maybe it’ll be like this forever, suspended in a moment neither of you wants to remember.

So, you inch closer to him.

“Sit up for me.” You tug him up by the shoulders, guiding him up into a sitting position. Izuku is still oddly like a rag doll, letting you move his arms where they need to be as you guide his suit jacket off his body, dropping it into the pile below you. Once it’s gone, you begin with his cuffs. Yucking your thumbs under the linen and caressing the soft skin there, you feel the scars from his youth. raised yet dormant, phantom pains sometimes still rumbling under the surface with rain is on the way.

When you drop the cuff links into the floor and begin on the front placket, Izuku seems to gather himself. His hands settling on your thighs, no playful squeeze or tender stroke. Just a simple touch to feel you there.

His voice reverberates in your hands as you undo the collar’s button. It’s a shiny, opalescent white, a stark contrast against the black of his shirt. Real mother-of-pearl, the salesman had told you, made from oyster shells. "Am I a good person?"

That question haunts you, doesn’t it?

You undo the next unbutton. His white undershirt is practically threadbare and it reeks of cigarette ash, something different from his usual brand. There might be a tinge of alcohol on his breath, but you can't quite tell.

You’re good to a fault, good to the point it’s bad for everyone around you.

Another button and you can see the dark curve of a scar across his sternum, still hyperpigmented because it hasn’t had time to fade. In the right light, you can even make out the remains of stitches under the surface, yet to dissolve.

You’re so good it’s almost killed you.

Another button. It’s as smooth and cold as it was before it was cut, nestled in some poor mollusc that didn’t know any better.

“Sometimes I wish you were less good,” you murmur.

 I think you’d be happier then.

"I haven't visited her in months," Izuku lets his head roll to the side as if it takes too much will to keep it up. His curls are held in place by too much hairspray, practically defying gravity as he talks, mumbling under his breath the same way he does when he’s analyzing data: even and scarily calm. "Ahe texts me every day, but I'm busy, I’m so busy, I’m-"

The hitch in his voice surprises both of you.

“There’s not enough time.” He helps you shrug off his dress shirt and his hands return to your sides, clutching your much tighter this time. “I don’t have enough time, there isn’t enough time to do it all, I'm only one person.”

His voice stays even and distant, but his hands are trembling as they close tighter, thumbs digging into the soft inside your hipbones. The pressure aches, then hurts, growing with every word.

“How am I supposed to do everything?” he mumbles, “I can’t be a hero and a person, I can’t be a hero and a partner, a hero and a son-”

"Izuku-" You think he might crush you without even realizing what’s happening. His palms are squeezing, fingers digging, all of it so tight you can’t wiggle away even when you try.

"I don't want this anymore, I don't want to live this life,” Izuku’s voice cracks again, “I don’t want- I don’t-

His eyes seem so verdant against their red rims. "I chose television over my mom."

“Izuku.” Your hands find his face, cupping his cheeks and pleading for his attention. “You’re hurting me.”

The pain unfurls when he lets go, blood rushing back to damaged skin. It’s going to bruise and you’re going to feel the hurt with every step.

"I'm sorry, I didn’t-" he watches his palms as if they can offer him any explanation. The skin under your touch smudges and you realize his screen make up is still on; you drag your touch down, exposing new seas of freckles, dark and bountiful. When your hand trail to the curve of his jaw, his throat bobs with a slow swallow, once then twice.

“I know you didn’t.”  And with that, you crumble into each other. Izuku buries his head into the soft below your collar bone, dragging you less than gently into his lap. You wrap yourself around him as tight as you can muster and yet it doesn't feel like enough.

"You have to let go," Izuku sighs after a long while, "I'm afraid you're gonna see me cry."

You slink off of the bed toward the door and he tenses with every step, muscles bunching with worry and self restraint. You give him once last glance before you turn off the light. You've seen him nude before but never so bare.

You can find him in the dark, arms extended, open and demanding like he needs you, even if he doesn't want you. Pressed up against you, you can feel what you can't see: the wobble of his lip, the wet against his cheek.

"I thought it was so annoying to have her text me every day," he whispers, voice barely pieced together through its cracks and gives, "And now I want is one more. One more text."

His body hiccups with a sob, silent before he lets go completely. It's ugly. It's snot and anguish, nonsense pleads to someone and no one, anger, grief, and emotions you aren't sure have names.

You hold him. That's the only thing you can do. This isn't a cross you can bare for him.

#content.cold #sad deku au

[doodle17]

Psychonauts 3 minor antagonist >:)

D'Artagnan Astubelief! The "mystery" person who's been framing Raz! Or at least one of the people behind it...

Im still trying to figure out was his motivation could be... I was thinking maybe his Aunt who I might make (at least One of) the main antagonist could be influencing him, but I still need a motivation. I'd love to hear any ideas!

I also updated his lore! Like- a lot! I'll put it under a read more >:)

*None of this official, btw. all of this based purely off my headcanons*

D'Art used to be born Psychic, but I changed it to where he was actually born NON-psychic, but becomes psychic due to some.... Stuff

SO D'Arts mom, Natasha, got super sick while she was pregnant with D'arts little sister, Ania. Unfortunately, after Ania was born, Natasha was so weak she couldn't fight her illness and she passed a few days later.

D'Art's dad, Ronan, was so overcome with grief over his wife, that it had a huge impact on D'art and his family.

Fast forward about 5-ish years, right as Ronan is finally starting to recover from the loss if his wife, D'art gets the same sickness. And similarly to his mother, he dies. Ronan is once again absolutely crushed by the death of his youngest son. At this point, he can't take the loss of another loved one anymore, and on one rainy night goes to see his aunt.

Dr. Vladlena Astubelief is studies in the paranormal. Including necromancy and re-animation. But don't let the "Dr." In her name fool you, a lot of her experiments are very cruel and botched. Unfortunately, Ronan is also very desperate.

He begs for her to help bring D'art back. She's only ever experienced on dead animals, so she was very delighted to be given the chance to experiment on an actual person. She took D'Art's body and sent Ronan back to the rest of his family, saying if all goes well she'll return D'art herself.

Fast forward 2 botched surgeries/dissections, and replacing bits of his non-psychic brain with psychic bits, which were totally not stolen, and Ronan gets a call, saying D'Artagnan will be dropped off, alive and well.

D'Art is returned back to his family, so things are all fun and good now! Right?... Well...

Yes, D'Art is back, but his personality and behavior is very different. He used to be very energetic and bright. Playing with his siblings and helping out with chores best he can, always willing to lend a hand. After he came back, he became distant and cynical. Appearance wise, he also looked a lot more pale, his hair even started to turn white, when it was originally jet black like his dad's

It turned white thanks to his Aunts experiments, and also the fact that he's basically half alive

#doodles rants #psychonauts #psychonauts 2 #Psychonauts 3 #d'artagnan #D'Artagnan Astubelief #Psychonauts d'art #psychonauts fanart

[sparksnevadas]

Hewwo its me sparks, a little bug that hasnt been feeling well for the past x amount of time. I wrote a little angst/comfort drabble thats not really canon to gihasm but it fits where you want it to fit after last chapter. Its not my usual quality but it seems lots of people are not doing great so im just going to share. I hope you all feel better. <3

(tw: negative thoughts)

===

The alarm bell rang and Grian knew it was going to be a bad day.

He had had the dream again, the one about flying high above the clouds before something changes, and he plummets to the ground. He’d kept dreaming as he hit the floor, pain a distant thing (shock, his sleep-brain reminds him, shock can make things hurt less).

On the floor, he was twisted up, broken and civilians gathered immediately. He can still hear the disgusted murmurs of them, see their pointed fingers and see their sneers.

“Someone put it out of its misery.”

Grian forces himself to turn off his alarm through the fog. His body feels tense, his wings are tensely held on his back. He doesn’t feel like moving at all, and barely manages to curl back up when his energy leaves him again. The wings on his back feel like a burden, their ugly state makes Grian want to go into hiding and not see another person. He was broken, trash that someone forgot to take to the curb.

Amidst dark thoughts and the blankets, Grian slips in and out of restless sleep. When he’s not asleep, he stares at the wall. He feels like a broken computer, repeating the same ideas over and over, feeling worse and worse as it gets harder to quiet the thoughts down.

“No one cares about you if you can’t help them,” his brain reminds him. “You're nobody if you're not Apollo. No one trusts you.  No one cares.”

He covers his head in the blankets, upset and angry at himself. “I'm useless, if I can't help people or make them safer, what's the point of it all? Why do anything at all?”

Pressure builds in his chest, something heavy and disgusting. “Im pathetic, worse than…”he hesitates as he realizes he can’t insert the name of his former nemesis, not after the past months. He lets the sentence linger.

Grian both wishes for and hates the idea of Scar or Mumbo noticing his lack of presence today. Maybe theyll realize how much of a burden he is to keep around. Will they realize it's better to drop him off at a random bus stop, send him back on his way to be dealt with by Pearl?

Mumbo would know. He left for a whole year and didn’t need him at all.

Grian surprises himself when tears burn through his eyes, forming fast enough that he doesn't process he's crying until he's struggling to catch his breath. It still hurts to remember that Mumbo did not trust him enough. Maybe he had been right to not trust him. Grian was an idiot, a fool who had to have his eyes pried open to actually see the reality of the world around him. The world was cruel, it hated him and it was right to-

Distantly, Grian hears some sort of sound behind his cries. It's only when a door is being opened that he realizes it was knocked.

“Grian?” Mumbo calls out cautiously. “Are you sleeping in?”

“Mm,” Grian hums noncommittally. Something must sound off to Mumbo, because he doesn’t retreat.

“Grian?”

“I’m fine,” Grian chokes out. “Give me a moment, I’ll- I’ll be back to-“

“Grian?” Mumbo closes the door and immediately steps further into the room, coming to kneel at his bed. “G, what’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

Grian frowns, face still hidden from Mumbo. He shakes his head emphatically so Mumbo can see his answer. His throat is swollen, he won't be able to talk like this.

“Are you sick?” Again Grian shakes his head. Mumbo pauses. Slowly, like a person approaching a wild animal, he asks. “Are you not feeling well?”

Grian doesn’t respond.

Mumbo waits for a long moment, before taking a deep breath.

“I can imagine what this might be about, mate, we should talk about-“ Mumbo says, and Grian curls up further into a ball. Mumbo pauses. 

Tense quiet fills the room. Grian tries to suppress a sniffle but doesn't succeed. He grips his arms, trying to hold himself together, at least while Mumbo sticks around.

Mumbo shifts, more of his weight pressing against the mattress.

“Y’know what usually makes me feel better on bad days?” He asks Grian. Something light touches the bed beside him. Grian hesitates to peek at it, but Mumbo tells him what it is. “Holding a friend’s hand.”

Grian tears up again at how considerate his friend is. Consideration even for someone as undeserving as himself. He pulls away the blankets, revealing himself in the process of taking Mumbo’s hand into his own. He doesn't look at Mumbo as he sniffles and silently cries. He's overwhelmed again.

Mumbo’s hand is warm and heavy. Grian holds his hand tightly, almost scared that Mumbo will disappear. Mumbo’s thumb caresses his own idly, his hold more loose, but still caring. Grian lays there, holding Mumbo’s hand tightly until the wave passes him, his head coming up for clear air after an indeterminate amount of time.

Grian slowly, almost cowardly, looks up to find Mumbo’s face, only to see that Mumbo is already looking at him. He looks saddened, but not angry. Grian isn't sure why he expected Mumbo to be angry. Mumbo was not an angry man by nature.

“I think it works a little,” Grian says, his voice a little stronger now. He squeezes Mumbo’s hand even tighter for a beat. Mumbo smiles and sighs through his nose.

“I'm glad,” Mumbo says. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Shame fills Grian’s mind as he shakes his head. Mumbo doesn't press further

“Then, Is there anything else I can do?” He asks sincerely. “I don't like seeing you like this, Grian, it hurts me.”

“Im sorry,” Grian apologizes quickly. “You don't have to stay-“

“No, that's not what I meant,” Mumbo cuts him off. “It's just… Grian you’re my best friend,mate, I don’t want you to ever feel bad. I… y’know I really care for you. You're one of the most important people I've had the luck of ever meeting, much less become friends with, yknow?”

The words almost fall on deaf ears, Grian’s brain twisting the words against him. How unlucky, Grian mentally corrects. He means how unlucky he is he's stuck with me.

Grian struggles to quiet his brain, something Mumbo likely notices in his face. He looks conflicted, almost lost as he leans closer to Grian.

“It’s true, you're my best friend,” Mumbo insists. Grian’s mouth twists, feeling himself tear up again.

In an impulsive moment, Grian lets go of Mumbo’s hand and throws his arm up, looking at Mumbo. Mumbo hesitates for only a second before climbing into the bed and wrapping his arm around Grian. With his weight against him, Grian suddenly feels like he can breathe.

He tucks his forehead against Mumbo’s neck, soaking in the warmth of his best friend's body. It warms him where he hadn't realized he had gotten cold, something human replacing the mess of tangled emotions in him. Grian presses his entire body into Mumbo’s, clinging onto him, feeling relief in every touch Mumbo easily offers.

Mumbo’s heartbeat is loud and clear, heavy and smooth. He presses closer, almost suffocating warmth in Mumbo’s embrace.

“I love you,” Mumbo whispers into his ear. It's not the first time he's said it at this point, but it's still rare to hear this soon. “You are so, so important to me. To scar too. He told me to check on you. Wouldnt tell me why.”

Grian nuzzles him, throwing a leg over Mumbo’s. He can feel Mumbo’s heartbeat through his neck, and he concentrates on it, closing his eyes. 

Scar knew he was feeling bad but hadn’t wanted to come in. Was Grian that much of a burden? Or was it that Scar knew Grian would more likely kick him out than let him close like he would Mumbo when he felt this terrible? Grian isn't sure. He feels himself starting to shake, his wings shifting and rustling. Mumbo reaches for them, but Grian pulls the betraying wings away, shaking his head. Mumbo relents, wrapping his arms tightly around his waist.

“Can we lay down like this for a while?” Grian chokes out through his guilt. “Or-“

“As long as you like,” Mumbo nods. “I don't mind.”

“…You're too nice,” Grian whispers. “I don’t deserve you, do I?”

“Grian…” Mumbo answers softly. “Don’t say that. You mean the world to me.”

It only makes Grian want to cringe more. It made him feel guilty. “You deserve someone as kind as you. Someone good.”

“You’re good,” Mumbo insists, hugging him tighter for emphasis. “Grian, you don’t understand how happy I am that you’re in my life, that you cared enough to keep looking for me after I left. It takes a good person to assume the best in others, even if we did nothing to deserve it.”

Grian frowns. “Still,” he tries to enlighten Mumbo. “That’s just the bare minimum of what you deserve, you should be with-”

“Stop it,” Mumbo’s hold loosened. “Stop talking about who deserves what. I love you. I don’t care about anybody else,” His hold shifts, one of Mumbo’s hands reaching into Grian’s hair as he pulls the avian against him. “Only you and Scar. I’m going to love you no matter what, Grian, stop trying to convince me not to!”

And Grain can’t help it. He tears up, feeling like a child. He whimpers and sobs and wipes his tears on Mumbo’s poor shirt, holding onto the shirt for his life. He’s so undeserving of this kindness, but he wants it so badly. Mumbo holds him through it, whispering little reassurances into his hair, gently combing it with his fingers. Intense and burning fondness for his friend rears its head in Grian, making him catch a sob in his throat as words spill through.

“I love you too,” Grian sobs into Mumbo’s neck. “I love you so much.”

“I know,” Mumbo kisses his hair. “I love you just as much.”

And to imagine this much  love and adoration flows through Mumbo like it does Grian breaks him a little inside. Mumbo deserves so much more. He deserves a nice set of partners, with a normal home and a normal kid. Or maybe it would still be Grumbot. But if this is the life he wants, all Grian can do is count his luck and love him back more.

Grian tilts his head up and kisses the underside of Mumbo’s jaw. Mumbo leans back, tilting his chin down to look at him. The angle gives him a bit of a double chin, which Grian eagerly obliges with another kiss. Mumbo smiles at him. Grian can’t quite replicate a smile on his own face now, but he leans up and gives Mumbo’s cheek a kiss. He kisses across Mumbo’s face until the two are forehead to forehead across Grian’s pillow.

“I don’t like my wings,” Grian says quietly. 

“Do you want to bleach them?” Mumbo asks.

Grian hesitates. “I’m not Apollo anymore.”

“You can still bleach them if that’s what you want, Grian,” Mumbo answers calmly, still playing with Grian’s hair, softly kneading Grian’s scalp in a way that makes him want to sigh dreamily.

“I don’t know,” Grian closes his eyes against the sensation on his scalp. It tingles pleasantly.

“Or we can dye them another color. Not white, but something different,” Mumbo suggests. “You’ll still be nice with any color of wings.”

“Pretty?” Grian asks, smiling a bit. He opens his eyes to see Mumbo roll his eyes.

“Yes, very pretty,” he corrects. “And very handsome, Grian.”

Grian smiles, leaning forward to press a kiss to Mumbo’s nose. Mumbo huffs.

“Can you stop missing already,” he says with mock annoyance. “I want to be kissed by my very pretty best friend.”

Grian smiles for a second, leaning in incrementally before the guilt makes him freeze. Mumbo closes the gap, pressing a kiss to his unmoving lips. Mumbo pulls back.

A few seconds pass before Mumbo leans up and kisses Grian’s nose. “It’s not just the wings, is it?”

Grian frowns, not meeting his eyes. Mumbo nods anyway. 

“We don’t have to talk about it now if you don’t want to. But Scar and I are here when you want to,” he reminds him. “We love you, you know.”

Grian sighs. “I know.”

“We love you a lot,” Mumbo nods, pressing his nose into his hair. “Do you want to cuddle until Scar misses us and comes looking?”

Grian rolls his eyes but tucks himself into Mumbo’s shoulder, closing his eyes. His dry eyes find relief in the darkness again, this time a lot less heavy than before. Before he knows it, he starts to fade into dreamless sleep.

—------

Grian wakes to hands combing through his wings, the sensation of a loose feather being pulled giving him relief. He finds himself laying on his stomach, warmly tucked against Mumbo’s heart. More than a pair of hands make their way through his wings, bringing him pleasant warmth. He spreads his wings further with a soft groan. Mumbo stiffens under him. Scar has the opposite reaction; he laughs delightfully. The sound is full of love, especially when it gets closer, and Scar presses a small kiss to the back of Grian’s neck. Grian tenses, feeling a warm wave wash down his spine from the feeling.

“Go back to sleep, birdie,” Scar coos. “We got you. We’ll take good care of you. We’re right here.”

And for the moment before Grian falls back asleep, Grian believes him and smiles.

#mumscarian #gihasm #grumbo #theres a few typos sorry

[aiyexayen]

helloo!!!!!!!! itse me from ao3 (oh that rhymes!) im a chatterbox as well, i love long comment/reblog chains and generally talking about stuff im passionate for a normal amount, and after reading your reply i had a question that i thought, why not drop into your inbox and ask you (if you want) to share a bit of your process behind writing The Only Place You Wanna Be!!!! my initial question is actually that im wondering whether at any point you were uncomfortable, like, exhaustingly uncomfortable when tackling gx/wkx/zzs as a rarepair. because when i write and im trying to break some mental barriers of my own i oftentimes need to take very long breaks frequently to rest. uve written rare ships before but mentioned in your reply that it stretched u to write this fic, despite becoming passionate along the way. what about the fic challenged you, what is it that was difficult to explore? and what had u be very enthusiastic about? also, when i was reading the fic i kept wondering how u were gonna handle gx/cwn, in what manner u where going to address it (if at all), and i really liked what u settled on, but did u have different ideas for it? do u have ideas for how it might look like when cwn returns home alone? (if u would like to share) im wondering if gx is now firmly in the wenzhou camp or if she might be going to experience her romance with cwn later too? i think that could work really well, because he is her peer and has different views and thoughts about the world and society at large than wenzhou, which i think is still smth gx would/could be drawn to. like, wenzhou are very jaded, they have to relearn how to love and trust etc, and gx in a way has to as well. in canon her cute romance with cwn is a way for her to experience mundane young adulthood. do u think thats smth that could still happen, that would still attract her, and that would fit into the new dynamic of the AU uve written?

hello hello!! i also love talking about things a normal amount so you've come to the right place and i'm so glad you asked. [chin in hands] i would be completely delighted to talk about the only place you wanna be, because it's truly one of my favourite stories i've written thus far.

first--was i exhaustingly uncomfortable at any point writing this fic? i honestly wasn't! it wasn't an 'easy' ship to write, i.e. one i'm very comfortable in the dynamics of and don't have to think overly hard about. but i was not particularly uncomfortable, either (i do know what you mean, though--i've had ships before that have made me uncomfortable and i've had to really sit down and rest between wrestling through my thoughts on it)

hands down the biggest thing i struggled with was the question "what the heck does zhou zishu find so compelling about gu xiang?" not because she's not absolutely charming, but because zhou zishu is not easily charmed.

the wen kexing facet was easy--the way he and gu xiang grew up together and saved each other from the horrors of gui gu puts them in such a state of enmeshment, their bond so full of complex emotional tangles and twists that all i really have to do is tweak the strands and bam! ship.

but zhou zishu and gu xiang? i had to really sit with that facet, turn it over in my mind like a rotisserie chicken, because anytime i've put them in proximity before it's just been this volatile-yet-fond bickering that doesn't really go further, or get them closer. zhou zishu is prickly, and aloof, and only diverted from his self-destructive bent by one wen kexing. and in this au, he already quite contentedly has said wen kexing. what does he need some charming girl for? what has he ever needed a charming girl for?

i thought gu xiang could easily find a whole host of things in zhou zishu to like and admire, many of them not dissimilar to what wen kexing sees in him. but how the heck would they come together? how would it go beyond gu xiang's crush on this super impressive, stupidly beautiful guy?

i took a hard look at my other most favourite ships with zhou zishu (han ying, xie'er, jing beiyuan, ye baiyi, liu qianqiao) and sorted through what things i thought he might care about in a person, outside of "is too stubborn to let him push them away" at least. i realised i really had to face my gu xiang and interrogate her more serious side, ultimately, as much for the sake of figuring out the ship vibe i wanted as for writing her as a compelling pov character. because for a character like gu xiang, a good portion of her seriousness happens outside of her conscious awareness of it. it's all background noise against which the bright flares of her imperiousness shines very distractingly.

but really, she learned from the best; her silliness and her brashness and the whip of her tongue are just another version of wen kexing's smooth flirtations and gently waving fan. she's clumsy and charming while he's elegant and disarming, but aside from him being a thousand times more intentional about it, they're not altogether that different of masks. after all, gu xiang was taught to kill first and ask questions later, no matter who may or may not be innocent. she grew up with the firmly-seated knowledge that she was not human. and even when she was a literal baby, she smiled when she was hurt because to do anything less was to risk being abandoned.

and, most damningly, gu xiang cares. she cares deeply, and thoroughly, and she gets attached even when she shouldn't, even when she knows better. she takes to humanity so beautifully.

and i realised that if i put someone like that into zhou zishu's life, into zhou zishu's once-abandoned home, and let her breathe life into the place, i could make my problem *his* problem and that suited me much better.

it's really two sides of the same coin, what i wrestled with the most to get into shape and what i was enthusiastic about. like with most rare ship challenges, i find it compelling simply to do said wrestling. i enjoy sitting down and hammering out the details of character dynamics--what they find compelling about one another, what draws their eye, how they fall in together, what makes them stay. or not, as the case may be sometimes.

i was excited to dig into the challenge of this ship and this fic, because i knew once i started getting the pieces hewn into shape it would be very satisfying. i was excited to tackle a siji arc au that was a new flavour, and write something really properly from gu xiang's pov that explored her arc of stepping onto the path to the human world through a new angle and from the inside.

i was particularly excited to dig my fingers into her relationship with wen kexing--not even really from the ship perspective (i mean, you've read this story, it's almost not about the shippiness of the ship at all until the very end) but just them.

i have a lot of ideas for someday-fics where gu xiang is more present in the plot and i get to explore her and wen kexing's relationship, in any capacity, more intensely. i have so so so many feelings about the two of them, no matter which hats you want to put on their dynamic. and this fic was really my first larger-scale opportunity to do some of that examining and reveling.

they were just two kids in a world of ghosts, clinging to one another until they could get out. a teenaged boy half-raising a little girl, full of rage and spite and the confidence and inexperience of youth and the wholesale abandonment of humanity, teaching her how to eschew it from an even younger age than himself, teaching her how to be a killer to keep her safe--and then playing games with her behind closed doors, making snowmen for her when she cried, letting himself be silly and warm in spite of everything. they're a master and the maidservant that attends his whims. they're a gui gu guzhu and his right hand that stands ready at attention to keep every secret and enact his plans on the jianghu.

they're so many things--each other's first priority, most trusted person, with the kind of knowing that only comes from years and years. the loyalty. the love. the way wen kexing's plan always made room for getting gu xiang out into the world to live a human life as its ultimate goal, the way he couldn't help but continue to lean on her assistance and keep her close and project his own fears even as he kept trying to push her away into that human life he wanted for her. the way he needs her, the way he tries to push her away anyway and rescue her from the fire that he plans to let consume him. the way he's so proud of her and so terrified of how similar she is to him at the same time. the way she's grown up into a better woman than he could have hoped, not in spite of him but because of him, and the strength she shows in being able to embrace even the parts of them both that built them into who they are, in a way wen kexing has never been able to.

it drives me absolutely banana pancakes sometimes until all i can do is wail and point at them emphatically.

anyway, a fic in which i got to explore gu xiang choosing to stay at her zhuren's side over choosing to follow his orders--letting her desires override her duty, letting one kind of loyalty and one aspect of their dynamic rule over another--in which wen kexing has to gradually come to terms with his plans for her being utterly and completely foiled, come to terms with the fact that she isn't rejecting the human path but instead is absolutely going to keep walking it while dragging him down along it with her, that all his hopes and dreams for her are coming true except with him in the picture. ugh. i'm legitimately going to cry just talking about it lmfao. which is another very good reason this fic happened from gu xiang's pov.

i'm going to put a header here because this has gotten unconscionably long and you also asked about cao weining. so. here we go.

regarding cao weining

i would like to start off by saying he is my precious bean and i love him. but as much as i like cao weining and gu xiang together in canon, they are not otp material for me. i find it quite easy to break them up, largely because they are young and their bond at first is pretty devoid of genuine understanding or deep connection.

cao weining's persistence, a soft mirror to wen kexing's, and his graceful handling of a traumatised ghost, a soft mirror to zhou zishu's, both pay off in the long run. but it's not too hard for me to conceive a world where they didn't.

in this particular au, i think cao weining will always have done much to teach gu xiang about being human, and about what she wants in that regard. and cao weining will always probably be a little bit in love with her, because he strikes me as the kind of person who's a little bit in love with all his friends, and still holds a little bit of a candle for every person he's ever fallen for before since his very first crush.

but one of the things i like most about writing, particularly au's, is the nature of choice, and how the choices we make define us. it's not just that you can become someone different, it's that you are always, constantly becoming someone different. and at every stage of yourself, you look back and the road you took may seem perfectly logical, may seem like of course that's who you were going to become, because you only see the road you've taken to get there. but if you took a different path, if you made a different choice, and then each choice based off that choice, and looked back, wouldn't you feel the same way about that road? that's the way i like to write my au's.

so in this case, gu xiang didn't make that first crucial choice to be with cao weining instead of wen kexing. she didn't dutifully listen to orders, and let him say goodbye. she didn't let that distance from her zhuren, that closeness with cao weining, define her, and she didn't make subsequent choices based off that one, leading her down the road of canon. she didn't keep choosing cao weining--didn't choose to not only be with him but to be like him, to go back for shen shen to save gao xiaolian, to openly confess her desire to be human with him and be the kind of human that she thinks could stand at his side as his partner. still feeling that love, that loyalty, for wen kexing, but allowing love and loyalty to cao weining to grow up alongside it as the months go by.

instead, she chose wen kexing. she chose to follow him and stay close to him, even going against his wishes, against his orders. she chose to get involved in his new life with zhou zishu and zhang chengling, in all their daily intricacies instead. to make zhou zishu living or not into her problem, too. to make their home her home, and then defend it.

i'm being so long-winded about this, my apologies, i just love tracing all these little paths out, because i do so much of this thinking when i'm writing and it never gets said anywhere XD this isn't even really what you asked. but i guess, the conclusion of it is, to this end, no, i didn't really think of any other way their relationship could go at this point than to split here.

cao weining's loyalty to his sect being compromised in favour of staying with gu xiang *at* siji shanzhuang is an interesting concept, but it feels considerably less flexible of a choice than gu xiang's, and ultimately, this fic wasn't about him, so i was content to let him choose his sect first here. he does so reluctantly, but since he has that loyalty to his sect, he can only understand gu xiang's loyalty in turn, and part with that understanding, a little bittersweet but with his optimistic hope to reunite someday in better conditions when all this is over.

and i do fully think that they will reunite. but in that time, they'll have each done an awful lot of growing and changing. you really hit the nail on the head there, that gu xiang's romance with cao weining is a way for her to experience a mundane young adulthood, and take that path to growth together with him.

in a lot of ways, i think she's essentially forfeited the possibility of doing that in this au. it strikes me a bit like an imperial court drama--she had the choice to run away with her young lad, to be a new bride with a new groom, young lovers regarded as such by the narrative and the people around them, given space to indulge in this youth and build their own concept of a household together and grow up into the world at their own pace. and her other choice was to be inducted into a noble lord's household as his second wife, to enter into a space that already has define edges and considerable growth under its belt, and to grow up a bit faster into the responsibilities of her station, with the trade-off of, perhaps, a bit more security.

and sometimes--most of the time--the story is indeed about the young woman running away into freedom and romance. and this story is the alternate path.

by the time gu xiang meets cao weining again, she will practically be the lady of siji shanzhuang--something more than a housekeeper and less than a wife. i don't think she'll have had to grow up too fast for comfort, i mean, have you seen zhou zishu's sheer capacity for mischief? but i do think she'll have transitioned out of the phase of endless possibility that leaving gui gu afforded her, and into a place where she feels more secure in what she wants and who she's becoming. she has a place to belong, and responsibilities to live up to that go beyond the whims of a volatile zhuren.

and in turn, by the time cao weining meets gu xiang, he will have had to face the entirety of the revelation of her ghost-ness without her there as a counterpoint. without even the comfort of having gotten to know her so much better to lean back on to explain his disquiet and doubts. (i actually have a little oneshot i kind of want to write about him running into shen shen in that town, without gu xiang to pull him away)

he'll have faced the rest of the battles to come side by side with his sect, and have needed to find someone else, perhaps even there among his shixiongdi, to lean on. the du xie attack, the perceived betrayal of his shifu. it's a lot. maybe he'll have found some renewed place in his sect through that hardship, without gu xiang there presenting a clear way out. or perhaps he'll choose to leave, but wander alone. he has a lot of choices to make, still, and anything could happen.

but either way, by the time the two of them meet up again, they'll be very different people than they could once have been to one another, even if they're still very much themselves in all the ways that count. if they have any kind of romance, it will necessarily be more grown up.

he is, though, still more gu xiang's peer than either wen kexing or zhou zishu, and i don't think that cao weining has nothing to attract her. i think she definitely has the need for peers that can see eye to eye with her.

wen kexing and zhou zishu ride the generational line between all the horrors of the previous generation's grudges and the potential of the coming generation's healing past them. but for all gu xiang was raised in gui gu and suffered for it, she was also sheltered in a lot of ways by wen kexing. and she has a particular brand of optimism that someone like cao weining (and like gao xiaolian for that matter) can match. and while chengling can match it, too, i have distinctly other plans for him in this au.

i think it would actually be really sweet if gu xiang and cao weining and gao xiaolian end up quite close, once everything is said and done. and if this occasionally involves little trips to see one another in which she spends nearly as much time in bed with one or the other of them as she does at whatever restaurant cao weining has raved about in his letters lately or playing hide-and-seek with gao xiaolian's children, well, who's to say?

as long as she comes back home to wenzhou, how can they mind? they probably get off on rewriting the poetry of marks on her skin to fit the shape of their own lips, the dorks. not like she's any better either, the way she'd learn to taunt them and goad them about it right in front of all the disciples' salads all evening. pff.

anyway. i've been going on for ages and i'm not even going to go back and proofread this because i'm lazy. i hope some of this was entertaining at least, and feel free to reply more! though, as you see, asking questions is dangerous and you never know how long, and redundant, and irrelevant the answers might be XD

#word of honor #my writing #my meta #long ass post

[masonsystem]

extremely scattered ramble of me giving myself an aneurysm from thinking abt the manga's plot 👍 and also miscellaneous kgpr plot things 👍 its long 👍

like. very long.

ow my head. i tried to think abt some of the manga's plot points but im so serious that if you question any of it's plot, you'll just end up with a bunch more questions. like i was thinking 'how does ayano receive favoring eyes and leave the daze? did she enter the daze by herself, did she enter with mary, did her parents enter with her??' bc this is never actually explained....... and also its super unlikely that kenjirou and ayaka entered the daze in mr2, since their bodies were still in the real world:

but then that begs the question of how ayano was able to leave the daze...... and how does the kagerou daze even fucking work??! like the common understanding is that two people enter, and only one person leaves with a snake. but this doesnt seem to be the case with mr2 ayano (maybe). and in fact theres been several times where this isnt the case:

- like harutaka in every route. two people died but they both received snakes.... except it kinda?? follows the 'two in one out' rule?? except its more of a three in two out rule um something like this:

with haruka's spirit staying behind in the daze. its important to note that takane's body never enters the daze, only her consciousness...... (I THINK.... cuz thats why her body still exists in the real world) but then that begs the question of why didnt hrtk have the same daze. cuz haruka's daze is an empty space with a hospital bed, and takane's daze is a crumbling city. but also hibihiyo has shown us that sharing a daze =/= experiencing the same events in the daze. hibiya sees hiyori dying countless of times, while hiyori sees hibiya dying countless of times. but at least theyre both in a city?? but also like in the novels kido had entered the daze with rin, but was alone when she met azami there. so... so its possible that harutaka shared a daze, but had completely different experiences. yes. that might be it...

- another exception of the 'two in one out' rule is hibihiyo. in the novels and songs (and maybe the anime but idk i havent rewatched it yet), konoha is shown to have entered hibihiyo's kagerou daze. another instance of three 'people' in the daze! what!! but whats interesting to note is that konoha is incapable of interfering with hibihiyo's daze. konoha also leaves the daze in these routes, which is.. hm... can a snake just jump in and out of the daze? can a snake even die... konoha cant die. how did he even get in there??? i guess he just got swallowed into the opening.. probably.. cuz thats also how saeru-possessing-konoha-possessing-haruka's body gets swallowed up into the daze in the novels and the manga. and maybe the anime.

and now that i think about it, in novel 3, there was a buildup towards exploring konoha's presence in hibihiyo's daze:

and im just only realizing..... THIS PLOT POINT WAS COMPLETELY DROPPED?!???? FJDSKLFJAKL oh my god bro 😭 but yeah... aside from that, mr2 hibihiyo are also exceptions. both hibihiyo entered the daze, and both of them got out! what!!!!

does this mean that the 'two in, one out' rule is bullshit? and you just need a snake to leave the daze? but if that's the case, then... why doesnt ayano ever leave the daze after mr2??? but before answering that, i have to point out that:

- the final exception to the 'two in, one out' rule is ayano. i mean mca shintaro is also an exception but ill get to him in a bit, plus his case is related to ayano. but yes anyways, ayano enters the daze on her own. the only other character to have done that is her and mca shintaro (i think. and maybe ayano entered the daze on her own in mr2??? ill come back to that) now back to why ayano doesnt leave the daze in routes excluding mr2.. at first glance, the reason for that seems to be tht ayano does obey the 'two in, one out' rule; bc she entered on her own, she cannot leave the daze. but as i just pointed out, mr2 hibihiyo had two people leaving when two people had entered. which makes it seem that the only prerequisite for leaving the daze is to obtain a snake. and in the novels, songs, and anime, ayano is shown to have received favoring eyes in the daze. which implies that she can leave the daze at any time... so why doesnt she leave?? and does this mean that the 'two in, one out' rule isnt even true??

ive seen several fans argue that this is the case, that the 'two in, one out' rule is false, and these three exceptions exist bc that rule didnt exist in the first place. but i find this hard to believe in, bc kagepro goes out of its way to consistently show two people dying together to enter the daze. like in the case of mr2 harutaka, the manga made a point of showing that they both died in proximity of each other, and on the same day:

^incorrect (or just confusing) pronoun usage btw and yes this is the official translation 😑😑😑 takane jumped out the window, not haruka

and as i pointed out in my silly diagram, someone does always get left behind: haruka's spirit. so the 'two in, one out' rule does kinda still apply to them. and as to why both hibiya and hiyori were able to receive snakes and leave the daze in mr2, saeru did state that he had manipulated hibiya into having a wish that would make him suitable for saeru to possess him:

so that may have played a role of sorts in their exception. but as to why (non-mr2) ayano doesnt leave the daze after receiving favoring eyes... well, ive seen some fans say that 1.) ayano willingly stayed in the daze, 2.) ayano didnt know she could leave the daze, and 3.) ayano could only leave in mca after shintaro (in all his yakitsu-powered glory) had given her a reason to + showed her the way out. except i cant really agree with these points, bc;

1.) people say that ayano willingly stayed in the daze in order to prevent saeru from gathering all the snakes in the real world. thats fair, bc that is, after all, the reason why ayano had entered the daze to begin with. but this logic then kinda falls apart towards the end of the novel route. here, she reunites with shintaro in the daze, learns that her siblings are endangered, and eventually learns that her only surviving sibling is seto. if she was capable of leaving the daze, wouldnt she have wanted to? like this is the girl who killed herself and thought abt killing someone to keep her siblings safe. i dont think shes willingly keeping herself in the daze at this point. and that brings me to the next point;

2.) that ayano didnt know she could leave the daze. if this is true, that would mean that in the ending of the novels, the reason why she didnt leave is bc she didnt know she could leave. and thats a fair assumption, except... in both the anime and novels, ayano is the one who leads hibiya out of the daze:

^ayano and hibiya chitchatting in the daze

.....so this kinda implies that, she does know how one can leave the daze. which then implies that in the novels' ending, she's not leaving bc she doesnt know how to, but instead bc she can't. which then nullifies the last point;

3.) that she only left in mca after shintaro had given her a reason to + showed her the way out. again, she already had reasons to leave in the novels, and she led hibiya out of the daze which implies that she knows how someone can leave the daze, its just that she herself cant leave. but why she's able to leave in mca...... man i dont fucking know 😭 does ANYTHING in mca's ending fucking make sense..... it probably has something to do with shintaro's presence. god maybe even the possibility that yakitsu needs to disappear for ayano to be able to leave the daze??? but thats just a guess but god who knows at this point, that might actually be the reason.

so yeah, i do feel like the 'two in, one out' rule does exist, but just not super rigidly. harutaka bent it a bit in their weird way, and saeru was able to manipulate it via mr2 hibiya. and it still applies to ayano hence why she couldnt just up and leave the daze.

but back to mr2 ayano... yes this post is about mr2 ayano in spite of that insane tangent. again, its not specified who ayano enters the daze with, whether she entered by herself, with mary, or with her parents, and how she was able to leave. i already ruled out her parents, and i just went over the whole 'two in, one out' rule, which implies that.... ayano shouldnt have been able to enter the daze and leave on her own. but just bc it shouldnt have happened doesnt mean it didnt happen. so its still possible that she had entered the daze on her own.

but its also possible that she had entered with mary. mary, in possession of azami's combining eyes, may have had a different set of rules applied to her there, similar to how konoha in hibihiyo's kagerou daze kinda had his own set of rules applied to himself, which is why he couldnt interact with hibihiyo.

and there's also this other observation i made which relates itself to mary, which is that in the novels, songs, and anime, ayano's kagerou daze is consistently a classroom:

except in mr2, where instead, her daze very closely resembles mary's, azami's, and shion's kagerou daze.....???

and this revelation brought up three points in my mind:

1.) maybe her daze isnt a classroom bc she isnt shown having school friends in mr2, so its likely that school isnt significant to her. after all, she isnt the only character shown to have had different kagerou dazes in different medias; in the novels, kido's daze is a empty black expanse, but in the anime, her daze is her still-burning mansion:

but also, this then started to make me wonder, why didnt ayano have school friends in mr2? specifically, why didnt she become friends with shintaro in mr2?? shouldnt they have both been middle school classmates in this route? i specify middle school bc in the anime, novels, and songs, shintaro and ayano befriend one another in middle school. according to 'my little daze', its during their second year of middle school specifically. also shintaro doesnt attend highschool in mr2:

but anyways yeah like harutaka were not initially classmates, but saeru, through kenjirou's body, manipulated their environment to have the two of them become classmates with one another. but i dont think he has any reason to make shintaro and ayano friends with each other, meaning i dont think saeru manipulated their friendship in any way. and theres like, no reason given as to why shinaya Wouldnt have been in the same middle school class. and yeah they dont recognize one another when they meet in mr2, but that doesnt mean they couldnt have been classmates. like who actually remembers all of their classmates? especially people like mr2 shinaya who have gone thru traumatic events.

so anyways with the theoretical possibility that mr2 shinaya were middle school classmates, the reasons i can think of on why they didnt befriend each other, could be that maybe ayano was too stressed about the mekatrio's + mary's predicament to go ahead and forge some meaningful friendships. after all, mr2 ayano learns that their eye powers are endangering them significantly earlier than she does in the other routes. in the novels, anime, and songs, she only learns this after ayaka's death. its not specified when exactly mr2 ayano learns this, but its right after mary starts living with them, which seems to be when she was very young.

^(also i wanna say that i was robbed from having the CUTEST mekatrio sleeping on the floor picture ever like if satou mahiro wasnt going thru hell at this time then oh my god. this couldve been the cutest thing ever.... ok mekatrio tangent OVER)

another reason i can think of as to why shinaya dont befriend each other in mr2 while they do in other routes is maybe... what if... shintaro's acquisition of yakitsu is something that subconsciously attracts ayano towards shintaro O_O that sounds kinda crazy but also like??? azami's snakes do gather around mary, who possesses combining eyes. its how seto is always able to find mary in every timeline. yakitsu however is mary's snake, not azami's, meaning that its possible that she may behave differently, aka, ayano (technically.. a snake...) would instead be attracted towards shintaro rather than mary.

also yakitsu is fucking insanely weird in the way that yakitsu, who is tateyama ayano, exists, but also other tateyama ayanos from succeeding timelines also exists??? like theres an ayano in shintaro's head but there's also an ayano in shintaro's classroom. and maybe the ayano in shintaro's head is attracting the ayano in shintaro's classroom towards him. and MAYBE thats why ayano has an almost insane crush on him in every routes? bc good god dude this boy is belittling you and doesnt even remember your BIRTHDAY etc etc etc but yet she still likes him. and what if thats bc like... a part of her soul is fucking enshrined into shintaro. damn its crazy when i word it like that but that's essentially what their relationship is?! so i dont think its too much of a stretch to consider this possibility......

though of course im aware its just as possible that in mr2, maybe they were just never classmates. idk. this is just another criminally underexplored aspect of mr2 out of many. but moving on...

2.) does the fact that mr2 ayano's kagerou daze is some snake hellscape instead of a classroom have anything to do with the fact that she essentially loses her mind when she receives azami's memories in mr2, but in the novels shes completely cool with it??!?

^novel pic is a convo between ayano and azami when ayano enters the daze. also this cracks me up lmfao like in the novels shes like 'omg azami 🥺 i'll do my best for you 🥺' meanwhile in the manga she's like I Went Through Hell And I'm Going To Kill Your Granddaughter Now

like this is something ive never seen other people point out but i feel so O_O by. so i do wonder whether the different kagerou daze environments was a factor on ayano's reaction. or maybe it has to do w the fact that this is the 'first' of the first times that ayano is receiving azami's memories. meaning that this is the first timeline which she receives favoring eyes, and that maybe subconsciously, on some spiritual level or something, she gets more accustomed to receiving azami's memories as more timelines begin to pile up, especially since the novels do strongly imply that the novel timeline takes place quite a while after mr2:

and another thing that reminds me of this unexplained difference between ayano's reaction to receiving azami's memories, and the possibility of accumulating timelines affecting her ability, is this:

^novel 5 fan translation by xpochama

in the novels, it never explained why kano was able to transform into ayano so easily after receiving his powers, when he had only met her very briefly. one theory i have is that maybe, bc ayano always becomes his big sister in every timeline, that kano is somehow intimately familiar with ayano on some deeper subconscious level. and that this accumulations of timelines, and this fact that ayano and kano are destined to become family, have made it so that ayano has became a person who kano will always be able to easily change into.

though ofc there may be other explanations. but im not going to explore them here bc jeez this post is long enough. and also im planning to make a long post abt kano's powers at some point anyways.

3.) and lastly, BACK TO THE ORIGINAL FUCKING POINT NO MORE TANGENTS......... does this mean that in mr2, ayano had shared a daze with mary??? cuz like mr2 ayano's daze does look awfully similar to the mary's daze. and if this was the case this would explain various things... like:

who did ayano enter the daze with? -> just mary, ayaka and kenjirou died outside of the daze

why isnt ayano's daze her usual classroom? -> bc she's sharing a daze with mary

if ayano entered the daze with mary, how were both ayano and mary able to leave the kagerou daze? -> mary has The Powers Of God, meaning its likely that the typical rules of the daze doesnt apply to her, similar to how the rules of the daze were different for konoha's presence in hibihiyo's kagerou daze. mary's presence may have warped the rules and allowed them both to leave the daze

and why does ayano react differently to receiving azami's memories in the manga vs in the novels? -> bc she was receiving them in mary's hellish kagerou daze, as opposed to her typical classroom daze

ok im done with this post. holy fuck

#least autistic kgp(r) fan. thats me #kgprambling

[em-writes-stuff-sometimes]

i'm so sorry for how nonsensical this might be but entertain me for a second here because i think you're maybe one of the only daemon writers who might understand where i'm coming from,,, anyway i'm pretty sure (unless i'm remembering incorrectly) that there's a scene in ilibitsos where we see babey deal with sub-drop, right?

so tell me why i'm now stuck on the thought of daemon and how he 100% deals with dom-drop (or whatever you wanna call the dom equivalent). he's such an emotion heavy guy and that, combined with his emotional constipation (which matches his literal constipation), probably leads him down the path of destruction to dom-dropping.

it would have to be after babey does something to make him worry - which, at this point, her doing anything without his prior knowledge seems to do the trick- and worry is something daemon typically expresses with anger. so let's say the reader pulled some shit where she went and done something that daemon, rhaenyra and basically everyone told her explicitly not to do. when she gets back, daemon's in one of his "gah im so angry i need to stab her womb with my flesh sword" moods (never thought i'd describe a cock as a flesh sword but here we are). so he's taking her from behind, either with his hand shoving her head down into the mattress or pinning her down to whatever surface he's bent her over and he's going at it. like, poor babey is definitely gonna feel it for a few days after. and he's just spewing his usual depravity, barely lucid of the fact he's slowly switching from calling her an ill behaved whore to ranting about how worried he was, how she needs to apologize for not letting him get a wink of sound sleep, how he hates how weak it made him feel to know she was in danger and nothing he could do would take her away from it. until, eventually, everything he feels- in his heart, not his cock- becomes too overwhelming and he just needs to stop. babey's smart so she obviously notices the switch in energy immeadiately and she's calling out to him, trying to turn around and get a look at him but he's not letting her. he's just... staring at the back of her head, hands slowly loosening the iron-tight grip they had on her hips and switching to caresing her skin, feeling that she's physically there. when babey finally manages to turn herself over and face her sweet tortured husband, he's frowning like he's angry but staring at her like she's the finest porcelain that'll smash if he's not careful with the way he touches her. he won't talk, can't talk, but that's okay cause she understands him even when he says nothing and so she gives him what he really needs, craddling him in her arms, soothing over his back with her hand, whispers of i'm okay and i'm right here, kepus and you can't always keep me safe but you'll always lead me home thrown upon deaf ears as daemon does his lil sad boi forehead touch and just melts into her, taking in her smell and just taking in the fact she's present beside him, letting himself finally feel all those dark, heavy, suppressed emotions he pushed down all those days she wasn't by his side.

and ahhh wtf did i just write, i'm so sorry this was genuinely meant to just be a short enquiry onto daemon and his possible dom-dropping but i started writing it and then this happened instead. i hope this wasn't overstepping any boundary or anything like that. all this to say, big slay, loved the first chapter of the pregnancy fic, excited for the possible future return of murderer-core daemon once the dance hits.

(this might have sent twice by accident so, if it did, sorry! tumblr's just a dramatic girlie who likes to tell me there was a problem sending my ask)

Hey! Yes, there is a scene that deals with sub-drop, and it's probably one of the few things that I know about dom/sub dynamics, to be honest haha!

And wow, this is such a good analysis of Daemon's whole come-down, it's like you shoved fingers inside my brain and wiggled stuff around and produced something really cool from half-assed fragments lying around in there, lol. His default is totally anger; it's what he vibes with whenever he has the Big Feelings, even if he's more upset, or worried, or afraid. He gets the Big Angries instead, haha! But oh, vulnerable Daemon hit me in the feels with this one - I fucking love it. Thank you so much for sharing this with me, I DEFINITELY need to start a new tag called 'daemon writing notes' so I can keep this on FILE.

Never be concerned about overstepping boundaries, I'm so fucking flattered that my silly fic was even worth the time it would've taken to type this out! I love your ideas - we are one spiritually, I swear. I'm so glad you liked the first chap of the pregnancy fic, and murderboi!Daemon might even be coming in this fic, to be honest! I'm really craving some violent energy from him, and we gotta start easing Babey in early!

(This ask totally didn't send twice, so you're all good!)

THANK YOU SO MUCH, MY @houseofhyde BAE!!!!

#fanfiction comments #daemon writing notes

[blueiight]

wheel inside of a wheel — continued (lighting out for the territories<3)

ingrid and annerose both having nightmares…..

Blindly, Ingrid’s hand found Annerose’s, curled up in a fist on the side of the bed. Ingrid uncurled her fingers gently, then linked their hands together. Her palm was sweaty, but Annerose didn’t mind. Ingrid didn’t answer the question for a moment, and when she did, her voice was almost desperate. “Because it was good there,” she said. “We say it’s a perfect place, and we believe it, because we don’t have to think about it. It’s good to have something like that to hold on to, to push out everything else. It’s mindless. It’s heaven. Don’t you understand, Fraulein von Müsel?”

“Annerose,” she said. “Call me Annerose.”

“That’s a beautiful name,” Ingrid said. When Annerose said nothing, Ingrid said, “It’s this place where time just passes. And you don’t have to be afraid of anything, because you know that everyone feels the same way as you. There’s no schemes. There’s no one who’s going to hit you. And they say, ‘You’re home! A home you never have to leave! Even when you die, you get to return to Mother Earth, and live forever in Her arms.’ You don’t have to think about the future. There’s just this… now… that takes up all the space in your head. I thought it would last forever. I really did.” She squeezed Annerose’s hand tightly. “Don’t you understand?”

“No,” Annerose said. “I don’t.”

….💔💔💔💔💔💔 oh wow this just confirms my sotp suspicions..

“You would do the same,” Ingrid said, but Annerose had to wonder if that was true. Despite being a member of the Rosenritter, and the fleet, Annerose had never killed anyone. She had never been tested like that. And she had always thought—

“I don’t know,” Annerose said. “Someone once told me that I’ve always been a little too good at enduring.”

Ingrid nodded. “You’re stronger than I am, then.”

“No,” Annerose said, emphatic. “Don’t say that.”

SHE HAS A CAPACITY FOR ENDURING… YK WHO ELSE HAS A CAPACITY FOR ENDURING???😭😭😭😭😢😢😢

the trouble finds u on heinessen as always girl😭😭and that FUCKING BISHOP.. id kill for ingrid’s POV on this situation and situation alone ik that girl is in love (cant even understand the alliance language just sees a pretty girl soldiering behind her) . the parallels of maggie and ingrid both having things for str8 girls😢maggie & ingrid once being an item … wow

i need some thyoxin ngl

“I’m just trying to protect her,” Annerose said. “There’s no point in bringing her through all of this if she’s going to be in just as much danger on Heinessen as she was on Odin, or Earth, or Phezzan, for that matter. She’s spent the last five years or however long having every independent thought poisoned out of her!” Annerose shook her head, frowning. Ingrid glanced over at her, concerned, and Annerose smiled, a little grimly.

They were pulling into the parking lot of the medical center now. “I won’t say anything against it,” Schenkopp said. He shrugged. “But let’s keep it professional, Müsel.”

She had no idea what he meant by that.

schonkopf dont be jealous ya girl is 1 of 2 ppl in space dat is undeniably het…

“And if I was her, mom? Would you say the same thing, if this was all happening to me? Would you tell me that this is all for my own good?”

Her mother’s face pinched a little, the professional facade broken for the first time. “I protected you.”

I Protected You!! why wont u play the long game & let ingrid be a useful tool .. being in an environmentalist cult that drugs its followers is just like the army if u think abt it… ur brother has fantasies of riding on odin in a conqueror’s ship.. and in canon lotgh he got that. wiaw will make his ass work for it tho lol

ice cream right after curry? human stomachs have evolved to be strong af

trunicht might actually be just as bad if not a bit worse than an earth cultist dropping on in😭😭 wiaw annerose getting all kind of (subtextual) gay allegations im obsessed… straight girl shoehorned in a political &!/ homosexual rigmarole

“I hope that Erwin is as sweet as your boy is.” Well hes giving some poor maidservant HELL in the empire 😭😭😭

annerose coming to this.. understanding of sorts after it being a lingering . conflict? issue? pre conflict but a line of dissonance btwn rein& anne in loob to now understanding reinhard’/ protectiveness over her situation a tad bit in dealing with ingrid & julian is rly nice. its rly nice. in a way, canon annerose kinda ended up losing both + was propped up as a political raison d’etre for reinhard (even deemed as space’s mother & responsible for reinhard’s own decision making) so its interesting that shes watching those parallel situations in julian+ ingrid n being so upset abt it like GIRL THAT WAS U.. IT WAS..😢😢

omg. ur brother’s an econ bro right? ask him to riddle me this. gotta love schonkopf😭😭

empire:alliance::noble families:elite corporations. forgot how the proper analogy format worked but ygwim.. reading about a heat planet while living under historical heat levels… nat rome u told the future big bro signed I.F. (he dont even know nat rome in this case hes just a bozo)

schonkopf’s tone being slightly disappointed when he heard julian cooks& not annerose…he came back down 3-0 with the flowers respectful manly man-ness & clocking ingrid’s tea tho LOL. getting confirmation that annerose is the only straight girl on this side of space is heartbreaking but annerose seeing ingrid as this sad wet pitiful baby cat is somehow.. idk..its even funnier to me.

Almost on a whim, Reinhard spent an afternoon putting together a fake resume and submitting it to companies on his shortlist who did have offices on Phezzan. He made up a degree for himself in structural engineering from PNU, gave himself a reasonable GPA and a scattering of skills, a fake year of experience at a local building firm as an intern, and a cover letter detailing his passion for challenging work in tough environments. He got one call back about it after a few days, and Reinhard showed up to his scheduled interview wearing a tie and a large pair of non-prescription glasses, his fake Phezzani ID card that he had borrowed from the High Commissioner’s office in hand.

reinhard canonly being unusually attractive (read: white bishie) tryna put on average joe disguises but being so bad at it is the funniest thing to me. u cant use ur boyfriend’s name to pretend at being both a prospective cultist AND a prospective engineer man!!!! if only frederica was here shed do reinhard’s face so he could at least try to blend in LOL. remember how she put makeup on a corpse? rly love how reinhard is sneaking around & pretending to be ppl throughout.… + obligatory nat rome engineering mention. sorry I.F popped out (except hed never be sympathetic to rvl he hates rvl cuz hes a tryhard extremist & a nat rome fanboy.)

A DUEL? these dumb nobles need to leave my yang out this mess (but itd be a boring story if he wasnt in the mix LOL)

Im actually crine at reinhard being bossy & demanding toward his foe in espionage😂😂😂well he did it ONCE he can do it AGAIN !! He The Blonde brat indeed

Muller scowled. “Salesmen always come when you’re eating dinner, because you’ll do anything to make them go away so you can enjoy your meal in peace.”

this line made me chortle. and the following dialogue is even funnier. unlike his beloved sister tho reinhard is NOT beating the gay allegations. what would rvl’s drag name be? he didnt get what he want exa-ctly. cuz miss muller dont put out easy but he got something~now will this intel make sis in time?

“I think you and your brother have the same kind of crazy,” he said. “You just haven’t had much of an opportunity to let it out.”

“What kind is that, Captain Schenkopp?” she asked, turning towards him. As he opened his mouth to answer, she reached up and grabbed his flyaway scarf, pulling him towards herself with it.

“The kind that I appreciate, Lieutenant Commander,” he said. woooo go straight people!

#wiaw read #wiaw

[queenofbaws]

well hello there your majesty long time no see

im so glad youre feeling better now :)

could you write number 5 about jossam and the twins please

have a nice weekend

six(ish) sentence weekend ;P

Her socks skidded across the laminated floor as she took the corner a little too quickly, causing her heart to jump out of her chest and into her throat. In her wrists, her neck, even the fleshy spot underneath her tongue, she could feel her pulse racing, beating hard to enough make her whole body shake. Moving like her life depended on it, she scrambled into the dining room, nearly rolling her ankle as she grabbed the cordless phone and backed herself up against the farthest wall.

“Hello?! Hello?!” she breathed into the receiver, pressing herself that much further against the wall. “Someone - anyone - please, I need help! Oh God, oh my God, oh shit, someone help me, please!” Her eyes widened to the size of dinner plates as a silhouette appeared in the doorway, no doubt drawn by the sound of her voice. “Jesus Christ, we need help here! There’s a maniac on the loose and, and, and...” Her eyes tracked the shape in the door as it slid into the room, approached the phone’s cradle, stopped before it could hit the hang up button. “And since I just caught her kissing my fucking brother, there’s just no telling what other sick shit she might be planning.”

From where her hand still hovered over the phone cradle, Sam slowly turned towards Beth. “Please tell me you didn’t actually call 911 just now.”

She drummed her fingers against the phone, posture going looser and looser until her horror movie cringe became a teen comedy slouch. “I should’ve,” Beth said defiantly, dropping the phone from her ear only to point it at her like a loaded pistol. “Still might. Haven’t made up my mind yet, actually.”

After a halfhearted swipe at the phone, Sam gave up, grabbing onto the edge of the table and leaning down almost to the point where her forehead touched the table. Once, twice, three times she started to say something before trailing off, eventually giving in and folding her arms into a makeshift nest around her head.

“Is this shame?” Beth asked, giving the phone a little toss and flip before walking around behind her, hanging it up again. “If it is shame, maybe there’s still some hope for you. Not our friendship, obvs, that’s dead and buried - ”

Sam groaned something that could’ve been “Beeeeeeeth,” but it was so hard to tell, given how muffled her voice was.

“ - totally dead, Sam. Dead, dead, dead. Deader than disco. Sorry. But if you’re ashamed of yourself for the truly abhorrent thing you’ve done, then like. Maybe you still have a shot of fixing yourself. It’ll take time, I’m sure, but maybe by the time you’re, like...mmm...fifty-seven, you’ll have a shot at being a functional member of society again.” As she crossed behind her again, she couldn’t resist reaching over and giving her ponytail a single joking tweak. “All the people at this party - all the fucking people at this party, Sam! - and you kiss Josh?! Josh. JOSH!”

That time it was “Beth,” that she said. Pathetically, too. In total and complete agony.

“So now that we’re definitely not friends anymore, and never will be again, uhhh...pressure’s off. Wanna maybe try explaining yourself?” She hopped up onto the table beside her, playfully swinging her legs as they dangled. “I mean, don’t get me wrong - there is no explaining behavior that rank, but you can try.”

When Sam finally lifted her head, it was with a timid - but not guilty - smile. “I mean...to be fair...youuuu definitely weren’t supposed to see that, sooo...”

Beth swiveled her head to glance her way, eyebrows high and legs momentarily going still. “That’s your defense? ‘I didn’t think I’d get caught?’”

“Pretty much.”

“Wow. Wow, Sam, just...wow.” Then, despite herself, she snorted a laugh, shaking her head. “You think you know someone.”

“Beth, oh my God...”

“You think you know someone,” she continued, raising her voice to speak over her, “And then they go and kiss your shitty older brother...”

Her head dropped back into her arms - a sure sign of defeat. Still, her body shook with laughter. Probably the embarrassed kind. “I get it, okay? I get it! Can we maybe just agree that this whole dumb thing is punishment enough? You making fun of me?”

She pulled in a long, long breath that ended in an even longer sigh, returning to slowly kicking her legs through the air. “Hmm...have you suffered enough...have you suffered...enough...I guess that’s like, the big question, right? Have you learned your lesson...well, okay, let me ask you this: Do you promise you’ll never do that sick shit again?”

Sam peeked up from her arms again. “By ‘sick shit’ do you mean ‘kissing J - ’”

“I think it’s pretty fucking obvious I mean kissing Josh, Samantha Giddings.”

There was a moment of silence that told her all she needed to know, and it was for that reason that when Sam finally did answer, Beth was staring her full in the face, mouth open wide as her eyes. “I...cannot make that promise, no.”

Her mouth snapped shut after a moment, and she stared through Sam as though trying to solve a difficult math problem. “Hmm. You know what? Okay. If that’s how things are gonna be...” In one fluid move, she hopped back onto the floor, preparing for what was sure to be a hell of a race (Sam was, after all, probably the worst one of their group to try and outrun). “Then I don’t think you’ve suffered enough. And that’s why...I’mtellingHannah,” she said as quickly as she could, immediately springing back out of the dining room before Sam could register what she’d said, laughing wickedly the whole way.

#save-the-dandelions #six sentence weekend #queenie writes supermassive #jossam #until dawn #well hey there!!! long time no see indeed!! ;P sorry you had to wait for this one!!!

[hoonligan]

PAPER RINGS!

chapter eight; thats the point asshole!

written - 1.3k words

masterlist - previous chapter - next chapter

warnings: dying jokes, swearing!

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eunbyeol wakes up to her alarm blaring, she opens her eyes to see light pouring into her room through her curtains. as she reaches out to her nightstand to turn off her alarm she notices as well the music playing softly as background noise in her bedroom. she sits up on her bed rubbing the sleep from her eyes she takes a minute and looks around the room, cracking her neck and knuckles and stretching out the remainder of the sleep left in her body. when she is finally snapped out of her post-slumber state she reaches out for her phone on her nightstand to check the time, oh its still 10am pretty early she thinks to herself. as she lowers her eyes to the date it said august 10, wednesday. eunbyeol’s eyes immediately widen as she drops her phone and gets out of bed in a hurry

“IM MEETING SUNGHOON TODAY” she says in a panicked whisper, she stumbles towards her closet pulling out dresses and skirts, “SHIT I NEVER PLANNED OUT WHAT TO WEAR” she says as she adds more clothes to a pile. as eunbyeol creates a tornado of cloth around her room, she hears her phone ding. that couldn’t be him could it? she thinks as she jumps onto her bed scrambling for her phone, morning byeol-ah! hope you didnt forget about today :) looking forward to it, im gonna run some errands with jay hyung this morning ill see you at around 12pm ;) , “TWELVE PM?? is he crazy thats not enough time to get ready!” she says burying her head into her pillow. she analyzed the notification and her eyes widen to see he sent it at 8:47am, why does he get up so early??. “morning sunghoon! goodluck with errands see you later :)” she mumbles as she types down her words and hits send. she throws herself back into bed groaning into her pillow.

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“sunghoon i don’t get why you’re in such a hurry, we just have to pick up a few groceries-a..” jay says as he pushes a shopping cart down the cereal isle. “i just have something to do today! and i don’t want to be late!” sunghoon says as he looks at the grocery list and looks back up to point out the fruit loops on the shelf for jay to grab. “well you said your thing was at 12, it’s still 10:48 calm down” jay says absentmindedly as he scrunches his nose at the fruit loops and grabs cheerios instead. “like i said hyung i really don’t want to be late!” he whines as he jogs back up to jay. “now that i think about it… you are dressed kinda formal for grocery shopping” jay raises and eyebrow at sunghoon. sunghoon’s eyes widen “i just-a.. uhm ah.. i always want to look good-a you never know when paparazzi might snap a picture hyung! advanced thinking” he says with a cocky smile thinking he convinced jay with his lie. “mmm okay sure dumbass whatever” rolling his eyes as he grabs 5 packs of ramyeon, “ill let you go this once, but you’re gonna have to wash the dishes tonight” he says as he thinks for a moment and grabs 7 more packs. “THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU HYUNG OKAY BYE” as he gives jay a quick hug, sunghoon runs out of the supermarket”. jay watched sunghoon stumble out the door and lets out a soft giggle as he looks back at the grocery list and mumbles, “aish young love”.

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eubyeol sets her own world record for getting ready, 1 hour 36 minutes and 45 seconds. she looks in the mirror fluffing up her hair and decides to add a pearl hair-clip to pull her look together. she made sure to add certain features that make her seem that she isn’t her, not for sunghoon but in case paparazzi spot them together. she looks at her phone 11:46am, she gets up immediately and grabs all her belongings and shoves them in her bag, she runs around the bloom dorm grabbing some of her stuff that was lying around and shoving whatever she might need in her bag, “where are you going in such a hurry” she looks behind her to see hayoon holding a mug of hot chocolate. “i uh somewhere! okay bye love you!” eunbyeol says as she messily puts on her shoes and stumbles out the door. “okay weirdo you forgot your wallet” hayoon mumbles with a roll of her eyes as she counts 3..2..1…, eunbyeol comes back and runs back in the dorm and grabs her wallet from the coffee table. “forgot my wallet okay bye love you ill text you when ill be back” she says as she runs out the door again. “love you” hayoon says as she sips on her hot chocolate.

11:57am eunbyeol was running at this point to get to the hybe building which was about 5 more minutes away. she speeds up her running to check her phone if sunghoon texted her anything, what if he went early and has been waiting for so long?? she thinks to herself. okay maybe he’s gonna be late, he’s a busy guy after all.. yeah she counters herself and slows in her steps a bit. “its gonna be fine! ill probably get there earlier now” she says to herself as she walks steadily towards the hybe building. its 12:03pm as she finally arrives in front of it, she walks near the main entrance. she looks around for sunghoon and decided to text him instead to tell him she arrived early, but before she could type anything she felt someone grab her elbow gently from behind her and she let out a yelp in surprise at the contact

“woah!woah! sorry im so sorry i didnt mean to scare you!” sunghoon says frantically as he tries to calm her down. “what THE FUCK oh my god i think i just died and came back to life” eunbyeol says as she holds her hand to her chest to calm her heartbeat. “when did you get here?” she says as she slows her breathing, “not long! i arrived just a bit before you did” he said with his shy smile. “also what did you do to your hair? you look so different i never would have known you were you” sunghoon asked pointing out eunbyeol’s now light brown hair that replaced her usual dark brown. “its a wig..” she said embarassed, “i just didnt want anyone to recognize me! especially paparazzi, AND fans” she clarified. sunghoon’s mouth fell into an o shape in understanding, “well i like this color on you, you look very pretty” eunbyeol’s eyes widen as sunghoon said that, blush immediately taking over her cheeks, thankfully not visible under her facemask. as if sunghoon knew she was flustered he smirked at her and leaned down to reach her face level, “did i fluster you?” he says with his face so close to hers, after a moment of silence eunbyeol slowly inched her hand towards his face creating some type of suspense, sunghoon’s featured softened and he awaited the contact of her hand that he thought would touch his cheek, but instead he felt a quick but painful pinch to his nose.

“you’re such a tease you know, you’re lucky we’re in public or else i wouldve pulled your hair…” eunbyeol starts walking away from him annoyed and embarassed, “WHAT THE HELL THAT HURT” sunghoon says nasally as he held his nose in pain while trying to catch up to her. “thats the point asshole!” she says looking back at him and sticking her tongue out at the end of her sentence. she then ran off to the mall laughing, “AISHH.. wait for me!” sunghoon says still holding his nose and running after her.

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SYNOPSIS! han eunbyeol just debuted as a member of hybe’s first girl group BLOOM! their debut is a huge success, to celebrate hybe arranges a company party, inviting other groups to celebrate the debut success of their first girl group. at said party eunbyeol is introduced to park sunghoon, both immediately feel a connection. exchanging numbers to keep in contact the two talked everyday, getting closer with each message. as time goes by the two slowly fall for each other, but what happens when our darling eunbyeol who never puts herself first, finds out that her best friend fell for sunghoon too.

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likes and reblogs are super appreciated <3

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[golbrocklovely]

Tis i with a part 2 of my editing rant. I get having your own style and being clear with your editor of what you want. Im a perfectionist too but i only ever act that way with myself. Once going through footage i’ll drop a flag or note cue on premiere reminding me what i want to cut and what adjustments i want to make. I drop A LOT of them but thats for me and when i dont have the time to edit straight away. Sam however was doing that during the interview process with an editor and was proud, he also made it seem like he was going to stand behind him and judge his work and he expected the guy to shadow him and see what he does to each video.

Which leads me to my next point, they have said that Colby cuts up the video (and if you’re a perfectionist there is no limit to where to cut and can take a long time) and Sam adds effects or music which is not hard at all even a beginner can do it. Sam has admitted to going through Colbys work and “perfecting it” meaning he even micromanages him, he gives himself more to do. There is no need for that if both agree on a story board what they want. There was a reddit post where op pointed out that Sam tends to get away when things get tough and Colby tends to stay in his room and sulk. Anyone not see whats wrong with that? Sam gets overwhelmed and travels and Colby stays and works. They need a better balance and out of work life that doesn’t seem like only one has the right to leave. They’ve been through countless editors that never seem to work for Sam. He doesn’t know how to word things and he doesn’t know how to let go. In regards to Kat. She is trying so hard to get in there, and if he didn’t ask her to move in right away in la then it makes me wonder what his approach with her was with moving to vegas. Im happy to see her do her own thing now, based on his posts though its interesting to see how suddenly active he is online when shes not around yet when she is he cant manage to shut the pc off and give her time.

Also im not trying to shit on Sam, im happy that for once we are discussing him and how he is as a person and aren’t being all Colby Colby Colby (though i love him too)

i think with the notes thing, maybe he was trying to see if the editor could do what he wanted. idk. who even knows what the notes were saying? all i can hope for is that he was nice to the person regardless.

and i agree with you, i think sam micromanages way too much. like, if colby's set job is to cut the video and make it make sense, i don't think sam needs to touch it up either, unless colby forgot something or a clip glitched or whatever. otherwise, sam should just stick to what he does which is graphics and music. and what i find funny about what sam does, he makes it seem like he does all this work, but if that's the case… give more to colby? like if you can't handle it or if it's too much for you, just give some to colby. which brings me back to my original point: they should just hire an editor to do the cutting, and not the "artistic" side of the video.

and the way they handle their "off time" which is basically to never have any, is super bad. they are gonna run themselves dry before they even get to 30. so i do hope for both their sakes they find someone that works well with them and that can give them a break bc they do deserve one.

when it comes to kat and sam, i think it's good to remember that we don't see everything. and i think everyone goes thry ebbs and flows of being really into each other and then just… existing, for lack of a better term. so, it's fine that sam sometimes doesn't want to hang with her or be cuddly, but if that is sorely lacking in kat's life and she needs it, she might end up leaving.

#ask #personal