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novascotiaducktoller · 3 years

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one thing ive been thinking about a lot recently: if you want allies in leftist spheres, you NEED to be prepared to educate. because we have opposition is who very very ready and willing to misinform.

educating someone who has, what seem to you to be, very basic questions (why are cops bad? what does transphobia in the medical field look like? why is [insert joke] antisemetic?) can be tiring, im not gonna deny this. but as someone who was raised in very conservative/right wing circles, i can say with confidence that we NEED to answer these questions, or else conservatives will answer them for us - and that's how we get a new generation of conservatives.

we need to have resources, and reasons, and kindness and compassion in abundance. it is so, so tempting to just answer questions with 'it's not my job to educate you', but if we want to have allies, especially now, when there's a growing fascist movement worldwide, then we have to educate. we have to start with the basics.

i'm thinking, particularly, of a lot of former friends of mine. i was raised in a fundamentalist-lite, extremely conservative christian/catholic community. we were all homeschooled, and many of us did not have internet access. i know a 19yo who is not allowed access to the internet. what little we did have was heavily monitored, on family computers or parent's phones. we were all taught conservative fundamentalist worldviews, ranging from 'history lessons are exclusively focused on religious figures and literally jack-shit is taught about anything else' to 'the earth is 6000 years old and if you think differently you're evil and going to be tormented eternally'. do you think a person like this, whose worldview has been incredibly controlled by conservatives, is going to go online and even understand leftist politics, let alone agree with them?

i was lucky in that i was allowed a phone with internet access at 13, and that i was smart enough to know how to hide my internet history from my parents. i am also lucky that in my early days on the internet, i was introduced to left-leaning politics quickly and had people willing to educate me. do you think that everyone like me will be so lucky?

people like me are far, far more common that many people would like to believe. conservativism is insidious, and conservatives are willing to educate. if we want to have a hope of stemming the rising tide of fascism, we NEED to be willing to sit people down and educate them.

i'm going to reblog this post with some links to resources for people who are seeking to help educate - please add on if you have any!

#political #leftism #education #solidarity #ok to rb

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oh-mother-of-darkness · 5 years

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answers (16)

Anonymous said: A lot of these secrets are really serious and sad so heres a lighter one: me and my sister are knitting christmas socks for the whole family as a surprise. Ive never knit a pattern before but im really good!!

Amazing!!

Anonymous said: idk if your still doing this but my secret is I fear im a terrible person who only acts nice to rick people into liking her and ik that actually does make me an okay but i still feel im doing it for the wrong reasons and someones going to get too close and find out the truth and hate me

That’s very self aware of you, I think-- probably too self aware. You’re absolutely right to say it’s the trying that matters, but I’m not gonna blame you for worrying about it. I have similar concerns about myself sometimes. I’m aware that for me personally they’re partially justified. Some of my kindness is self motivated.

I think though (and it seems like you already know this) it’s the effect of the kindness that matters. Maybe it’s better for me if I have “pure” intentions, but if I don’t, I should still do the kind things anyway, right? Because at the end there’s still going to be good. And there’s nothing bad about actively trying to be good, which is all we’re doing.

Anonymous said: my secret is that ive been chasing after a dream my whole life but im not sure ill ever achieve it. times running out and i dont know what to do if i cant. i feel like my whole life has been put on standby and i dont know the way out. i know ill be okay in the end but i dont know what the end will be and that scares me.

Shit that’s relatable. You really will be okay, but it’s terrifying in the meantime, isn’t it? To have those turning points bearing down on you?

Things will happen. You can’t stop that. Time is gonna continue, but you’ll still be there at the end. Your head’s already in the right place.

Anonymous said: My secret is that I really, really like one of my friends, but he has a girlfriend and slept with one of my best friends when they were both super drunk. I want the feelings to stop and go back to being just friends, because I honestly think I don't have a chance, but there is a small part of me that doesn't want to let go. I don't know what to do.

Well that’s a bitch of a situation, isn’t it? Romantic feelings aren’t really my area, but I understand holding on to things you consciously want to let go. Emotions always feel like part of me, you know? I don’t want to tear them away. Sometimes it’s better to do it, though. I don’t know from a few sentences if that’s the case here, but I hope you find the way that’s the best for you

Anonymous said: My secret is I used to be suicidal, in my pre/early teens. I had realised I was lesbian in a small, largely Catholic town and hated myself for it. I was awful at social situations and couldn’t make friends. I hated myself for having baby fat because I danced part time. Then as I got older I slowly got more confident until one day a friend died I realised that holy shit I used to be suicidal and I could have killed myself. I’m terrified that I might get like that again and actually do it

Honestly, and I know this is gonna sound cliche, but I’m always in awe of folks like you. I don’t handle my own mental health issues super well most of the time, and to hear about someone growing? Changing? Getting better? Amazing

Anonymous said: If you're still taking these... my secret is that I don't want to give birth to children ever, and would consider adopting instead (when I'm older), but if I were to voice that to any family member or even an acquitance, they would shun me for it and make sure they try to talk me out of it. I really hate how conservative people put so many expectations on my shoulders

Heyyyyyy same. I’m not planning on birthing any kids, but my parents have come down pretty heavily on the single-women-should-not-adopt-children thing, which is.... bullshit. I’m gonna adopt some kids one day, whether they like it or not.

You know your own mind and your own plans. Other people don’t have to be happy about them, even (maybe especially) family members.

Anonymous said: My secret is that I’m a bad friend. I don’t make time for the few friends I have and spend most my time working or being in my room. They deserve better than me.

I don’t think you’re a bad friend. Not being around isn’t bad-friend behavior. You’re not hurting anyone. You’re not doing anything wrong. And I certainly don’t think that it justifies the idea that they should leave you. Relationships are always kinda a difficult balancing act, but you don’t have to be perfect at balancing it, you know?

Anonymous said: My secret is that I'm extremely self-sufficient, I've always had to be. But because there's no one else taking care of me it's so hard to invest my time in others because I'll neglect my own mental state. It make sit hard to develop stable relationships. Every once in a while I re-realize that I'm no one's priority so I have to be my own. And it just sucks.

Shit anon that’s really really rough. It makes me sad with you. I’m not going to tell you you’re wrong, because I don’t know, do I? But I hope you are.

Anonymous said: My secret is I imagine myself as OCs I create for certain fandoms like Young Justice or Castlevania, and I spend all my time daydreaming of how I would act in episodes and how I would interact with the characters. I think it’s because I’m not satisfied with my life, and I’m also afraid that this makes me either weird or crazy.

Oh biggest mood

I do that too. I’m not in a position to say whether that’s a good or bad thing, but I like to think it just makes us creative. For me, it eventually found an outlet in writing, and that’s been a big source of joy in my life. I had some unpleasant experiences sharing that stuff with people in the past, but for me? I don’t worry about it anymore. I know a lot of people that do similar stuff.

Write some fanfiction, maybe :) You might be real good at it

Anonymous said: My secret is I’m secretly attracted to people who are better than me at stuff

That’s not really my area, but seems to me that’s a pretty good thing to be attracted to. One of the sweetest things I hear around school is people talking about how their partners are going to be such good lawyers. It’s cute.

Anonymous said: My secret is that my anxiety is crushing me. I don't want to feel this way anymore.

Oh, anon. I just.... feel you. I’ve been really struggling lately with the idea that other people move through life without that handicap, and it amazes and angers me. Why don’t I get that? Why am I like this? It isn’t fair.

And it isn’t. It just isn’t. You didn’t ask to death match your brain every second of the day. You’re not any worse than everyone else, so why do you have to suffer? I don’t know. I really don’t.

The only happy thing I can say to you is people do heal. It’s bullshit that it takes so much time and effort, but it is possible. I’m better off now than I was five years ago, even if it did take five years and a whole lot of therapy, medication, and energy. You shouldn’t have to fight like this, but you can, and you can win.

Anonymous said: My secret is Im so bitter most of the time that I cant be happy for others. Me and my best friend are both singers but I can never be happy for her when she gets compliments or any success bc im jealous and im scared I'll never learn to be selfless and happy for other people

You’re only human. You have human emotions. You have every right to feel them. The only thing that matters is your choices, because that’s the only thing you can control.

I’m so sorry you’re scared. That’s another emotion you have every right to feel

Anonymous said: My secret is that sometimes I hated myself for not express what I felt because I thought they'll hate me or make distance of me but I'm learning to express my feelings to others and try to be more confidence :) I hope you'll be brave too and do whatever you want to do 💜

I wanna be anon when I grow up

Anonymous said: My secret is that my hands hurt all the time but in different ways, and I’m scared to get help because I’m scared they’ll tell me I’m making it up or being dramatic.

Man do I hate the shit people put you through to get medical help. Everybody’s entitled to ask, aren’t they? So why are we all making that difficult? Why are we making people feel bad about their own pain?

I understand your fear, but I hope you start asking questions anyway. Other people’s opinions about it aren’t your fault

Anonymous said: My secret is that my dermatillomania has gotten way worse since I got to college, so I’m having to wear headscarves again to keep myself from picking my scalp. I smuggled my scarf collection out of my room without telling my parents.

I’m sorry, anon. That’s difficult. That sucks. That’s bullshit.

Anonymous said: my secret is that when one of my family members says something homophobic I'll laugh and agree because I'm afraid that they'll disown me if there's any shred of proof that I'm LGBT and it makes me feel like such filth

That’s not your fault. It’s theirs for making you feel unsafe, because your safety really should be your first priority! That’s okay! You’re not being a bad person by doing it. You’re just protecting someone. You’re allowed to make that someone you

#some pretty heavy subjects here so #suicide #suicidal thoughts #anxiety #depression #mental illness #homophobia #if there's anything else let me know #asks #secrets

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suttonfm · 5 years

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greetings , angels , i’m back AGAIN with a second muse , the lovely sutton marie attwood ! i have so much muse for sutton , seeing as she is a character i have been itching to bring to life for a long time ! i’m very excited for you all to read more about her , so without further ado , please take a gander below the cut , & for plotting purposes , make sure you give this post a big phat LIKE if you would like me to message / im you . enjoy reading about my presh ballerina :’ ))

𝓶𝓾𝓼𝓮 𝓲𝓷𝓯𝓸𝓻𝓶𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷

⋆ ╰ another year at hollingsworth , another year of the big six rivalry . i hear that SUTTON ATTWOOD is ensuring KAPPA KAPPA DELTA gets a solid pledge class and stays at the top of the ranks . oh , you’re not familiar with HER ? SUTTON is the BRIDGET SATTERLEE look alike from BOSTON , MASSACHUSETTS . apart of PC ‘16 , she is majoring in PERFORMING ARTS and has plans to JOIN THE BOSTON BALLET after undergrad . it makes sense they pledged their house , their BENEVOLENT & DOCILE attributes make them perfect matches . however , their SUBMISSIVE & NAIVE attributes keep their name alive on greek rank . if you don’t catch them dancing to GET WELL SOON - ARIANA GRANDE at a fraternity band party this year , you’ll be sure to catch them nursing their morning hangover at THE KAPPA HOUSE . cheers to another wild semester !

𝓬𝓱𝓪𝓻𝓪𝓬𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓼𝓽𝓾𝓭𝔂

𝕝𝕚𝕜𝕖𝕤 & 𝕕𝕚𝕤𝕝𝕚𝕜𝕖𝕤

so ! sutton has a wide array of things she likes : long walks in the park , puppies that are learning how to run , freshly sharpened number two pencils , the smell of an old book , baby clips , leather mary janes , dainty jewelry , bubble baths , pink or creme roses , daffodils , heart - shaped lollipops . she dislikes cursing , mean - spirited people , drinking alcohol / doing drugs , vulgarity / explicit conversation . she also hates having to walk alone at night , when she misses church , & all red meat .

if you want a lil’ more of her general aesthetic , click HERE for her pinterest board , loves !

𝕞𝕦𝕤𝕖 𝕡𝕖𝕣𝕤𝕠𝕟𝕒𝕝𝕚𝕥𝕪

lovely lil’ sutton .... where do i even start JSLDKAJSDLKJ ok so ... she’s . angelic vibes all 2019 , ok ? she’s wholesome , pure of heart , & overall , is one of the kindest people that anyone at hollingsworth will come across . her overall demeanor is docile , quiet , the girl usually keeping to herself , opting to stay quiet when facing confrontation or a new , strange situation . her voice is a lil deeper , not so much pealing bells , but something with a bit of a rasp , accented by the bostonian lilt to everything she says . she’s irish - catholic , her family being very devoted to their faith , & passing that on to her ... she’s always wearing her cross , & making sure her general attire is conservative enough for the lord ( lordt salkdjad ) . i’m talking tights , white ruffled socks , the whole nine : / she’s also ! very smart , well - read , writing poems & reading old novels . currently , she plays the piano , & is on hollingsworth’s dance team ! she’s very disciplined as a lifetime ballerina , her life revolving around the entire process . she’s devoted , loyal , kind , & overall just ! a lil angel ; _ ; so pls love her : (

𝓶𝓾𝓼𝓮 𝓭𝓲𝓼𝓼𝓮𝓻𝓽𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷

sutton attwood was born the youngest of four children , to her mother marie , and her father , alexander . marie and alexander had been married for the last twenty - seven years , having kids in their younger years , happily in love , ready to start a family . after her three siblings were born , there was a long gap until her own arrival , an accident that her parents had no reason to expect . but she came anyway , arriving into the attwood family , lungs aching as she cried & cried .

as a young girl , sutton was very well - behaved , but also very sensitive . she was careful to mind her manners , knowing the consequence of having her elbows on the table , or neglecting to fold her napkin across her lap . her parents had high standards & expectations , strict rules that they enforced to ensure their daughter stayed within the mold of the rest , the two of them scared that , with sutton being the anomaly , she may have the tendency to try to break from the restraints they had confined the rest of their kids in .

for most of her adolescence , the girl was extremely confined , repressed ; she had no way of exhibiting her freedom , expression , or creativity , except for one thing -- ballet . she had started as soon as she could walk , her parents having her join on the premonition it would be a good outlet for her , a way to teach her the discipline they were sure she would need . little did they know she would end up loving ballet , naturally poised for such a difficult art form , her grace & athleticism preceding her wildest dreams as she continued to train & train , changing dance companies over the years as she became better & better .

being raised irish - catholic , she has a strict church schedule , attending mass every saturday with her whole family , & sometimes during the week to help her church organize youth groups , bible study , & activities of the same ilk . being heavily involved in the church only served to reinforce her parents warnings , the people around her sure to remind her that if she were to sin , she was damned to an eternity of suffering . with that in mind , sutton always navigated the world as carefully as she could . her overall mindset was to stay out of trouble , avoiding temptation as she came across it . her will power is something that she praises herself for , being able to resist drugs , sex , & alcohol her entire life .

due to her kind demeanor , she has the tendency to be taken advantage of , her niceness taken as weakness over the years as people took the chance to belittle or berate her , but despite it , her exterior has never hardened , the girl’s heart forever warn & displayed on her sleeve .

since coming to hollingsworth , the girl has done her best to maintain her pristine image , her reputation untainted by the things a college experience may promise to tarnish . but somehow , she’s sidestepped trouble up until now -- senior year . as a kappa , she has the intention only to maintain her house’s top spot , her competitive nature from dancing making it so that her kindness isn’t always necessarily extended to the members of other sororities , but a part of her can’t help but still smile in other girl’s directions , happy to have them as a friend instead of an enemy . the cutthroat mentality of kappa house is overwhelming , but with chaise as president , sutton is even more nervous to see what happens .

with the promise of new experiences on the horizon , sutton intends to keep up the good work . to maintain her 4.0 gpa , to keep her virginity & promise to god intact , & to continue dancing without having any drama . whose gonna tell her .....

𝔀𝓪𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓭 𝓬𝓸𝓷𝓷𝓮𝓬𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷𝓼

tbh ! i want her BEST FRIEND , one - sides friendship ( i . e . sutton bothering them & always being nice , inevitably driving them crazy ) , her CRUSH ( this is a big one bcos ... well ... v*rgin or what not jlkjlajskdjaldaj but yes could be mutual / one - sided ) , someone she tutors bcos she’s a smart gal ! her confidant , her ex - best friend ( maybe dropped her bcos when they came into the college they were both wholesome & they gave into the whole greek lifestyle , losing themselves / sutton along the way :/ ) um ! i can’t think of anything else rn but u know me ... lets go off chem <3 ok , that’s all for now , folks !

#╰ ❥ disconnected so sometimes i feel frozen . / 𝓲𝓷𝓼𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽𝓼 .#rank:intro #!!!!!!!!!!!!#pls come plot w your girl : /#i tried to make it shorter than the first one so it's not just all word vom so <3 ily

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gizkasparadise · 6 years

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so it’s been a little over a month since i officially came out as pansexual

it’s been slightly surreal as an experience.

im not a teenager. im in my late twenties, in a long-term, established relationship with a man with whom im about to share my fifth wedding anniversary.

i have spent literal decades wrestling with sexuality and my relationship to sex-- i grew up in a conservative, roman catholic family. i remember being as young as 12 and going to ~purity retreats where i had to listen to some dickhead with an acoustic guitar tell me that he was experiencing so much pain because his sister “lost god” by coming out as a lesbian. i remember listening to my parents talk about how unpalatable they found “that lifestyle” and made homophobic comments as easy as exhales. i remember every sunday, playing guitar in choir that would be interrupted by 15 to 20 minute sermons about how sacred marriage was between (only) man and woman.

as i got older, i was subjected to sexual assaults from both men and women. sometimes as “innocent” as kissing without consent. sometimes pressure to have sex. sometimes groping. once, a lot worse than that. i’m straight, i would tell myself, as i had all my life, as i entered string after string of shitty relationships with men. one particular boyfriend was so convinced i was bisexual that he repeatedly “gave me permission” to have sex with women for what i presume was his own gratification.

as i got older, this became more common -- as people (typically men, but sometimes other women) assumed they knew more about my interests and attractions and well-being than i did for myself. i went from being told you have to be straight to you can’t possibly be straight and both were harmful. both did damage. both made me afraid to enter that dialogue with myself about what i was or wasn’t.

so i didn’t. for almost ten years.

eventually, i entered into a relationship that was with someone i loved, and, more importantly, someone i trusted. i made more and more healthy friendships with people who were out as LGBT+. the last five years has been an unraveling; of me slowly (painfully slowly, really) working through who i was-- an opportunity that has only been presented to me now that i’m an adult. now that i’m in the security of my own home and there isn’t the constant pressure for sexual engagement that’s so much more prevalent in adolescence and the bar scenes i used to be heavily involved in. that i’m not single, if i’m being honest, and my sex life is now of no interest to anyone but me and my partner (and god, how horrible is it to say that? how terrible are those implications?).

i figured out who i was, eventually. and then i spent at least 2 years trying to figure out if it mattered to say it. i was, after all, a woman married to a man. but it gnaws at you, and every day i didn’t at least tell my partner felt like it was a day i was lying. something had to change.

so anyway, here’s how i came out:

1. i got drunk with a friend. i waited in terror for at least 45 minutes as i tried to articulate what it was i was finally ready to say. i was sick to my stomach. part of me really wanted to die. another part felt fucking foolish (i’m an adult, why haven’t i figured this out yet? what if it wasn’t right? what if people thought i was lying?). after a few beers i finally said “i’m pan.”

1a. i spent the rest of the night laughing

2. i sat in a car with my husband. i knew, rationally, that this wouldn’t make a difference. but i still sat there, in knots and anxiety and fear. i wasn’t able to tell him. 2a. later that night, i wake him up. spend about 15 minutes rambling about something that didn’t matter. then finally, voice warbling in that terrible way it does when im nervous, i said “i’m pan.”

2b. “what’s that?” i explain.

2c. “oh, that’s good. love you.”

2d. i can’t sleep, so i read and i play video games and it did make a difference and i can’t stop smiling: love you too

i have since come out to more acquaintances, close friends, colleagues. i have not come out to my parents. i dont think i will. i don’t think i need to. i had to spend most of my life finding this information out, i’m only going to share it with who i want to share it.

im happier than i’ve been in a long, long time. it is getting better.

#coming out #schmoop #pansexual #cw for mentions of assault #and homophobia #coming out as an adult #!my post

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