#im curled up in my bed crying

[zhongrin]

torn between telling the truth and asking to push tomorrow's date to sunday and risking him being grossed out, or soldiering through tomorrow and forcing myself to attend and risk having the worst date ever from all the pain.

#rin rambles #i jst threw up my lunch we aint doing well fellas #does this mean i have to eat another paracetamol is that why the pain isn't subsiding #gods i am. A mess #fuck i still have to take my laundry and everything hhhh #just want to crumple and curl in bed and cry #i cant do this im getting a half day off

[bylrndgm]

DOCTOR WHO (2005 - ) 2.03 School Reunion

#doctor who #tenth doctor #david tennant #mine #mine:gif #oh well so i guess now i will post all the scenes from S2 that got me crying all curled up in my bed #i'm completely normal about these lines. #(im a liar) (im not normal about this) (still processing)

[the-sun-is-also-a-star]

what do you mean snakes can't see stars. what do you mean. no. this is devastating.

#i can't believe i learnt this from a good omens post #snakes #reptiles #SOMEONE TELL ME THIS IS NOT TRUE PLEASE #I BEG OF YOU #this has ruined my whole night btw #ok goodnight everyone im going to curl up in my bed and cry over this

[soldier-poet-king]

Literally went to brush my teeth and was struck by overhwleming anxiety about a hypothetical situation that might not even come to pass (I get that new job that I want and I have to tell my current boss that I'm leaving in the middle of this big project that I partially initiated & am the only person in-office currently competent enough to do it. It's not impossible, I'm writing clear guides, but they'll have to hire someone else who probably won't be as thrilled about the finnicky bits or as patient and accommodating and people pleasing with all the nonsense that goes on)

And THEN I saw/noticed smthn on tumblr that made me feel REALLY bad about myself and it's just. 👉👈 Are you mad at me? What did I do wrong? Is absolutely NOT the appropriate or mature response here so I'm gonna keep my damn mouth shut but also. Consider. I am a desperate void with abandonment issues living with the knowledge that everyone eventually gets tired of me, if I don't manage to push them away with my badness first like

Who out here living with the foundational belief that they are a fundamentally un-likeable/unlovable person, a fundamentally bad person, and beneath it all not even really A Real Person but just a gross void and that's why you can't keep any friends & will always be lonely

I can't even blame the internet bc being offline is equally lonely given the limitations of my day to day life, and it's all just different flavours of the same isolation

#the duality of fran #this is just self pity ignore me im going to go curl up in bed and cry i think #at least my sheets are clean #idk. it's just. this unending grief #and i had been having a good time playing bg3 with rose and j #and then just??? #it feels like life is kinda just an endless cycle of this #and maybe its normal and happens to everyone and im just too sensitive to it #idk how to not feel it so deeply or personally. idk that i want to #i just. give up #went to mass tonight so tmrws goals. meal plan and grocery run. read atfots all day probably. maybe bake #but mostly just curl up woth atfots and hide. it isnt hitting the same as hote #but kips personal desires. his hidden want in it. the endlessness of it #its the same melancholy as Tolkien's elves. the sea longing and cry of the gulls #and i am full up of that empty longing #how can you be full of emptiness? which is by definition absence? idk. but thats what it is #also my skin is itchy

[rykno-j]

imagining:

g/eto staying up with g/ojo at night. its late, and he's really sleepy. maybe they're watching a movie together or playing a game

g/eto feels the urge to yawn, so he raises a hand to his face and closes his eyes softly. afterwards, his eyes get naturally teary and he sniffles a little

then, he notices g/ojo looking at him

"...what?"

"damn s/uguru, that's the quietest one yet"

g/eto gets confused for a second, before:

"..s/atoru, not everything is a sneze, you know?"

"eH? that wasn't?"

▪︎•▪︎

#j/jk #mythoughts #js thinking how easy it'd be to mistake the smallest inhale/exhale from g/eto as a snez #g/ojo definitely made that mistake before #surely. especially if he purposely listens very closely to every detail (kink g/ojo?) #on that note: the new ep is gna have so much tired g/eto #until he breaks #im excited but scared and worried #and imaging the pain. #and i want to cry #and sob #and curl up on my bed

[kwikiwii]

so i wanted to get this out before new years but it took me longer than anticipated. i mean.. it's still 2022 somewhere in the world... right?? it's like 5 past midnight where i am but who careeeess

sorry for the wall of text but yea!! void and solazar!! i think they wouldn't get along at all !! also, i find it odd that i haven't seen any art of them together considering they're like, a sun and a black hole. yea also this might be rushed in some parts, but im really proud of myself for actually finishing something. sorry solazar looks so weird

happy new year :) hope 2023 will be better (i highly doubt it) (it will absolutely murder me)

#fnf fanart #vs void #fnf solazar #fnf void #friday night funkin #i actually tried to make this look good #still hate it !! ashamed to post this !! but i spent too long on it not to !! #fnf entity #im gonna curl up in my bed and cry now bc school

[joanbaezed]

LMAOOO i was just in my dorm and saw someone on instagram post a pic of my hometown and i started crying and at that exact moment my roommate texted me that she was bringing a friend to our room 😭😭😭

#i have never stopped crying faster in MY LIFE 😐 #good god. #now im just sitting on my bed while they talk on her side of the room and im just curled up on my bed lol

[bo0zey]

anyone else ever get in those silly goofy moods where u just hate urself sooo much that u instantly feel physically almost violently ill just thinking abt urself and also even tho u worked a 12hr shift w no breaks or water running off of the 2 cups of coffee u had for breakfast 20 hours ago, the thought of eating instantly sends bouts of nausea coursing thru ur soul while churning in ur stomach bc ur brain hates u so much that its convinced ur body that u don’t deserve sustenance or anything else that’s life sustaining or promotes ur physical well being because u subconsciously convinced urself that ur such a shit excuse for a human being that u neither deserve nor have any right to anything regarding maslow’s hierarchy of needs bc u r such an awful thing u deserve to be neglected n treated like the nonliving object ur own brain sees ur living body as or am i just mentally ill lol

#laying in bed everytime i think abt myself i feel literally nauseated n like it’s so weird #this feeling comes in waves intermittently just even .01 sec of ‘hm i’m hungry’ FFFFFNOPE HRRGRHFFF VOMITTY #i want to curl up in a ball and die forever i don’t care about me i don’t want to take care of me anymore i’m not even good at it #whyyyyyyyy did i stop taking my meddsssssss i guarantee y’all this is why i’m being such a crybaby on the dash lmaoooo #i have a headache i’m def dehydrated from crying n sniveling n barely drinking any water today while sweating like a mf at work #imma go to bed 🛌 if i don’t wake up i will be soooo pleasantly surprised y’all have no idea FINGERS CROSSED🤞 #real talk tho can someone tell me why my body is literally reacting this way for like no real reason #like am i truly that disgusted with myself i make myself nauseous just thinking abt me #ok yeah the answer is yes lol BUT LIKE WHY THATS SUCH A DRAMATIC BODILY RESPONSE TO MY BRAINS DUMBASS THOUGHTS??? #ik the body and mind have a super powerful link n the brain influences the body like crazy but like #why this why does my brain literally want me to berate and degrade myself and isolate me and make me cry alone n starve me that’s so mean #i’m not starving btw i’m literally always eating just these past 2 days i’ve been such a fuckup my body won’t let me do anything #i had a chocolate poptart for dinner last night (thurs) n threw myself to bed #i hope i don’t end up hurting myself that would be so lame #i literally don’t have time for that like i am Not doing wound care duty off the clock for my damn self lol #also don’t want to take care of myself so i wouldn’t bandage myself up properly sooo yeah i’m not gonna do anything actually #cleaning ur wounds r super important ok yall ur literally playing god if u don’t do good aftercare snfjfbdj #i can’t believe i’m in this nasty ugly depressive episode i hate this so much i don’t have time for this i hate this cycle #i hate being bipolar 2 n my moods n meds have been so fkcdd up lately that i don’t even have the rlly fun hypomanic episodes anymore #i’ve just been constantly having mixed episodes im unbearable to be around im so sorry for everyone that’s ever spoken to me im insufferable #ok that’s enough im done being dramatic lmao #im gonna give myself a bolus PRN dose of clonnie then i’m going tf to bed #ramblings #shut up cianna

[semercury]

Perhaps the only thing worse than being hated is being loved just enough to matter. Like you don't really know me, but I matter to you and my absence will be felt and isn't that awful that I both mean something and nothing to you? And isn't it terrible that that's how most people we meet are? We love them just enough to miss them but not enough to make any lasting change. Those passing through our lives, nomadically, never meant to stay. And what do you do with that? What do you do with knowing you can't be everything but you'll never be nothing no matter how hard you try? You'll never be inconsequential. Your presence and absence will be noted, documented in the hearts of those you get just close enough to to have an inside joke or casually talk about your lives.

And of course, the only thing worse than that is being truly loved. Standing naked in front of another, desperately hiding your scars and ugliness with your hands, hoping they stay. Hoping despite it all, they will choose to love you anyway. Because you know your absence will not just be felt but will be mourned. And their absence will rip your heart apart like thorns, never healing to what it was before. And everything ends in one or the other eventually.

#stuff sarah says #maybe writing #feeling weepy on my lunch break #this is mostly about my coworkers #but obviously the last part is about those i love so much #i often wonder what is worse: loneliness or love #they both feel equally terrifying in their own right #the only thing worse than going through life alone is with someone youre afraid of losing #and the only thing worse than being afraid of losing someone is actually losing them and then being back at square one #idk. im going to blame the monthly body horror torture for this. and this week. and my brain. and just everything #i feel very insecure in so much right now. i dont like it. #i shouldnt be at work. i should be at home curled up in bed crying

[literalite]

my stomach hurts. anyways does anyone want to test the iris preset

#im literally finished crying a bit curled up on my bed but i cant go to sleep thinking i havent done the thing i wanted to do so #seph.txt

[bledf1rst]

hi im coma and almost every single one of my favorite pieces of media includes a healthy/positive sibling dynamic because it's actually more important to me than my own life

#DO NOT PRESUME ME TO BE JOKING #THIS IS A 100% SERIOUS POST #TIM AND DICK BONDING!!! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING!!!!!!!! #im so upset over this. over everything. im going to curl up under my bed and cry #out of character. coma

[castielafflicted]

hate having to resort to bribes and tricks to get stella off the bed. like girl leave me alone

#zeph posting #god forbid i get off in peace #she just jumped back on the bed and is sitting fully pressed against my left shoulder #this is a queen sized bed why are you touching me #the catnip literally only distracted her for 2 minutes im in hell #i wish i could just lock her out of the room but she would Cry #at least most of the time shes content to curl up on the end of the bed

[phantomskeep]

Y'all ever need to make yourselves sad so you can write a chapter in your fic, so you go and read some hurt no comfort fics? And then suddenly it's midnight and you're crying and you can't write because now your depressive mode is kicking in---

#fanfiction struggles #im writing a danny phantom batman crossover and this is the lengths i will go to for it #im legit crying #in my bed #at almost midnight #and i have to get up at five am #am i asleep? #nope #did i ignore an essay that was due tonight? #yup #was it worth it? #absolutely not #im so sad now #im doing this for you guys #the lovely dpxdc fandom #rip jason todd #rip danny phantom #rip ME #back to curling in a little ball and being sad #putting the fun back in funeral #the spirit of gotham is a lesbian #pariah dark is a seahorse dad

[septembermonologues]

i have been feeling so horrendously bad at my job this semester and idk how obvious my baggage is that my advisor has to stress that i deserve to have a show next semester and that she's already talking to people about things maybe needing to shift around so no one thinks its my fault and her saying i have a good sense of what i believe and can listen to both sides without swaying easily just kind of felt like "youre so mature for your age!" all over again and i feel so behind in a class i was so excited for and my body image has been horrible and im lucky to be getting 6 hours of sleep a night and it's getting harder to leave my apartment and people who mean well but barely know me are laying on high school levels of "you need to make sure you're eating enough" scolding and its so suffocating and i just want to snap and tell them that this is the best i have ever been about taking care of myself and im trying and self aware and dont need to be parented by people four years younger than me and i haven't been to therapy since before the semester started because i HAVE grown and i CAN handle it but i also know its been too long and they just weren't kidding about how much your early twenties suck but i also wouldn't change it for anything and i just want to sleep for a week and then ill be fine

#personal #and i miss my mom. but so it goes #im just feeling silly goofy thats all #i want to go back to posting girlfailure imogen jokes and stupid little orym thoughts again but im 3 eps behind #and who knows when ill be able to catch up #i have not felt like i want to curl up and hibernate in bed this badly in a long time lol #this semester is doing me in #and apparently they're pulling the spring drafting class in the spring that i need to graduate #and i think im going to need my advisor to talk to someone abt it for me bc i dont have it in me to be nice and/or not cry

[milf-harrington]

i knew this would happen i knew it

#i told my sister last night i probably wouldnt be coming into town for this arvo #and i KNEW i'd get really sad about it in the middle of the day and now look at me!! #im sitting at the table listening to the radio and i just got smacked with 'my stupid brain ruined something again' #and now i want to curl up in bed and cry #because i LIKE my sisters parties and i LIKE hanging out with people and getting a little socialising in #but i cannot stand being perceived today because only like 3 people will see me as Theo: The Little Brother #and everyone else will see 'some weird girl with a boys name' #and usually it's a fun little game i play but i can't today #and i hate that im missing out on something i've been looking forward to for months #and i hate that i was so excited a few days ago when my sister and i were talking about it #and i hate that i can't even change my mind because im the only one who still lives out of town so there's no one to drive me #captain speaks

[ournextdoorneighbor]

#

#im tired. am i going to get my period soon #probably. #but its not like i havent been feeling like shit the last 3 months so i cant exactly blame my tiredness to my period cycle #im being so so brave about my job. im being so brave abt the idea of going to the office for 3 days straight #i feel like if i stop to think even for a milisecond im gonna start crying and no one wants to see that #at the same time i dont have time for it. #i keep thinking abt all the times they told me that you’d have to actively look for a job in the art industry #to constantly be advocating for yourself if you want to stay and i am trying so hard. im applying im submitting im rewriting my statements #im brainstorming im reaching out im making content. jesus christ im so tired. im doing so much and theres no pay off at all and im stuck #in this job that i hate will every fibre of my being. i just want to do something im happy with again. i want to wake up and be excited abt #doing work again. be happy abt going to work and talking to ppl i like. im doing so much but nothings working #what is the point #bestie i am so fucking done. i wang to curl up in bed all day and cry