#im excited tho its going to be fun!

[mishapen-dear]

(end of bad’s Acceptance vod, about 1:48:30)

no but im never going to be normal again. LOOK at this. look. IMMEDIATELY before this he gave a whole miserable speech at the graveyard about how much he misses the kids and how he wants them to come home. He was grieving so hard it started to rain. He cried while he sang to them. It was the perfect end to 5 days of grieving- and then he does this.

and the rain isnt about grief anymore- the thunder isnt a peaceful background to a heartbreaking scene. It is rage. the whole context changes. The storm raged on while he grieved like he raged during the Everything Else that happened (“there are a lot of federation workers on today. I need to interrogate them about some things” he said while he was following forever ALONE to distract him. he knew forever was fucked up and about to put more marriage pressure on him and for anyone else that would have been Terrifying. how could you focus on anything but that? but. bad was thinking about tormenting more federation workers)

i just!!!! its so good. its SO good its so scary its so good. bad hasnt accepted the loss of his children but he has accepted how far he will go to get them back. (he will do anything)

#qsmp #Ik someone else posted the clip but i could not find it again and i Needed to go insane #i still need to go insane #i need to pick up every little bit of his character and pin them up and write an essay on all of it #you know that entire nervous system that was preserved? i need to do that to him #im going to be SO annoying about bbh for the next while #like i can feel the brainworms setting in so hard i am GOING to get pov rot and get so excited about my perceptions of his character that i #twist him away from what he is #it will be in the name of understanding him but really i will trudge thru those roots and trip into hell #or maybe not maybe ill continue to have fun and cool character analysis #50/50 on whether or not it will be comprehensible tho i think the last 8 posts at least ive made about him are nonsense #its because he is a bastard #with too many moving parts. i need a diagram neatly laying out every q!bbhism ever #qsmp badboyhalo #qsmp clip

[liquidstar]

the goddamn show came out

#no actual hate tbf i dont think its BAD but. very annoying on a personal level if youre greek sorry 💀 #i think the past couple weeks have been horrible for a lot of reasons and i do not have the energy to like #be reminded of dull takes on our mythos every 3 seconds esp when they hardly even acknowledge greece exists its just fandom blorbo shit #its annoyingggg its annoying i dont wanna see it i want it Gone #i actually think pj itself is a pretty middling example of this though. again its not bad esp compared to like booktok shit #a lot of it is often the /fandom/ but even still i find it annoying #at the very least the show does have jason mantzoukas which is more than the books did w like. acknowledging greece lol #to be clear tho i dont think all the characters have to be greek or played by greek ppl i think its cool to have a diverse cast play gods #and their kids and whatnot. its mostly just abt like somekinda nod to where youre taking it from i guess? acknowledging the culture #that still exists! in the books they go to fucking italy ffs whats the deal #basically i have complaints and find it annoying bc it doesnt care about greece like most things about.... greek mythos #so im not excited to see it all over my dash i just think its very annoying personally sorry #ppl can still like it and have fun with it idc abt that but doesnt mean i have to like it either 🤷‍♂️ #ergo. blacklist my best friend do your thing and get it away from me. and we will all be at peace again

[skitskatdacat63]

Why can I only ever feel dread and never excitement, I'm just incapable of being excited until I'm physically doing whatever it is

#like months before going to austria #i had to apply and everything #and just would have horrible horrible panic attacks and was losing it #and it was just so so so much dread and absolutely no excitement #i had to just resign myself #and then whoops i get there and its a whole month of fun!!! like was really barely every upset #and then: Austrian GP #same situation like dying about it. literally physically sick the morning of #i get there....oh okay fun fun fun!! #anyways this is about how atm i have the possibility of going to COTA #and like i know i should and i kmow i shouldn't miss out on something like this #but god the dread and existential crisis is so bad #like i cant even pinpoint *why* and its always been this way #i just need to someone to assure me and tell me i should push onwards 😭 #my brain: what if its disappointing. what if it doesnt live up to whatever preconceived notion you have #me: my brother in f1. this is literally my brainrot that i obsess over daily! why wouldnt it be fun????? #its just some mental hurdle i really struggle to get over and like i just can never feel excitement #like theoretically im like ofc yes this would be fun! but in reality can only dread it #but i really thinm i need to push thru it even tho i feel horribke abt it #bcs its the same exact thing every single time #and just all these stupid inconsequential things always come up in my head #like the fear of missing out on content on here. can literally bring your phone 😭😭😭 #anyways panic attack yayyyyyyyy #i just really should go right? AGHHHHHHH 😭😭😭😭 #trying to think positive is genuinely impossible. theres some other part of me that reminds me of all the potential bad things #and also this like weird guilt of 'people will think im greedy and spoiled and etc etc etc for getting to go to two' #its not like i really believe any of this but its also like so unavoidable #catie.rambling.txt

[ashofalltime]

i truly have no idea what to make my "art brand" other than Hot Boys With Thick Eyebrows :/

#and tell me how will that make me money?? in this world.................... #genuinely tho i just wanna draw and create and tell my little stories and have people be so into them that they send a few #dollarz my way #like. buy my graphic novel. buy my regular novel. listen to me talk about my creative process and my opinions on things and perhaps #i will make a living off that. #oh also i wanna start making stationary and stickers and fun stuff like that. like. i know its kinda outta left field but i like the idea of #creating products that are cute and functional and exactly my style. #OHHHH TSHIRTS???? I WOULD LOVE TO DESIGN SHIRTS AND HOODIES AND STUFF #like the super unique stuff crowlines does #like really playing with fabric and traditional clothing shapes #i have their tiger shirt that is one black sleve one orange with a triangle of orange down the side #WITH AN EMBROIDERED TIGER ON THE CHEST #its my favorite shirt ever for real for real #anyway. im starting my art business and excited but maybe a little pulled in 50 different directions. #go read my webcomic because thats the only thing i have semi-ready right now #lots of more art and content to come in the next few months!!!!!!!!! #:)

[mamawaffle]

happy beyoncé album release to all who celebrate😌🙏🏾

#beyonce #cowboy carter #listen i know tumblr ppl dont particularly care for pop artists #but im god damned excited #ive got 2 songs to go #i think its clever #not a country album #but there are Absolutely country songs on it #i kinda wish something had been done with the beats in ameriican requiem tho #felt like there was build up for no reason #and as much as i loved sweet☆honey☆buckiin want buckiin to be its own song😭 #AND YAYA WAS SO GODDAMNED FUN WHAT #miss yonce the way your mind works🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾

[sunmoonyandstars]

I just need to get through this week and then I'll be able to do cool makeup and wear my pretty dress and see my wife and eat a lot of sweets

#im very excited about easter #its fun to dress up extra for church even tho I dont like going to church #and seeing my extended family is pretty nice #easter

[isa-ah]

okay i looked into it and i think i will do the silly gofundme route for the isaiah stuff once i have all the pieces put together that i want! so there will be silly tiers for keychains, stickers, prints, and a (buttcheek) mousepad... i have to draw all the art first tho, whichll be slow going now that im juggling two jobs and losing a day off! ;w;

#ill keep u guys posted tho im excited #this is gunna be fun i think #my goal is to sell a handful of each just to cover the bulk creation price! bc its not cheap to make silly things #anything left over after overhead and shipping will go towards a handful of them to send my friends and keep for meeee

[wqxianvents]

// spoilers(?) to the new event ,, its just screenshots of the story aint rlly crazyy

bro this event is so poly!nxx coded im on my knees sobbing like theyre so domestic to eachother n THE OG CHARACTERS MAKING AN APPEARANCE HAVING ME GEN CRYING 😭😭😭

like when huey appeared PLSS “HUEY!!!” same. thats my son. they need more events where domestic nxx appears thank you theyre all dating idc

like not them fighting… i was gonna get annoyed if it was the typical banter LMFAOO also artem being passive aggressive 😭😭

but to my delight ✨ EVEN LUKE WASNT GETTING INTO IT THIS TIME LMAOO,, also doesnt luke feel a little softer in this event? hes so cute like :,) he just feels more relaxed idk how to explain it, they all do tbh!! but luke hasnt rlly been bantering and if he does its with marius (not out of the ordinary fr) SOMETHING IS JUST DIFFERENT. i’m lovin it rho

i have so many ss’ of this event and whew boy… the amount of times ive been screaming poly nxx is smth, hyv loves me and said its canon (believe it)

like they all feel so lively in this one and arent arguing like they always do so its a nice change of pace <33

sorry for long tags LMAOO just love them so much *grabs the nxx team and runs away*

edit: the event i was talkin abt in tags was dreams of childhood LMAOO that one and 2nd anni are a top fave for me neow 😌‼️💞

#tears of themis #!tot events #poly nxx true im a believer #omfg theyre obsessed with eachother? #the third place was so #<33 #i think this might be my favorite event of all time everything is just good to me #the games are good tho was confusin asf so hyv fix fhat LMAOO #but now that i know how to play properly its rlly fun and i love the rewards 😍 LMAOO #i aint pullin till the 30th for a couple of reasons but im so excited to!! hope everyone’s pulls r going well #also the LIs just feel so family in this one they all are properly hanging out as friends instead of ‘this is a fight to see who can get MC’ #i wrote abt it to hyv in the quiz thing so i was kinda caught off guard when everyone was just being… friendly and domestic #obviously cn got this first so the story is the same but it was rlly nice to wish for smth and to see it! #this is my favorite next to when they went to the hoyofair - i think it was? with the fireworks? #bc they were all soooo !!!! <333 😭😭😭 #and it feels the same in this one so im so happy #and and my favorite gag they got goin on is everyone looking at marius to get them into places 💀💀 #and hes just like…. sigh…. yeah yeah any other requests? LMFAOOO #is this love or is this sugardaddy and his babygirls lets bfr #e

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

.

#you wanna know what i fucking did today? #cleaned inside my freezer. outaide of my fridge. did the dishes. dusted the blinds #cleaned the bathroom sink. took all stuff off the walls. cleaned the microwave. cleaned my bedroom window #cleaned the kitchen baseboards. under the fridge. under the oven #packed up my art supplies and some clothes #cleaned my bathroom door. front door. wiped my bedroom walls. cleaned the bathroom floor #cleaned my stove top. tidied my bedroom floor. and listed my dresser in two facebook sell groups #all within about 2.5 hours #isnt that fuckin wild?? im so tired #oh and i sold my table. i had to get up early for that. and i went for a walk to get a fun little drink #my apartment is starting to get pretty empty. furniture is going and stuff is getting packed into bins. its wack #i need to put my shit furniture by the dumpster. isnt it lovely how we put furniture by the dumpster so others can take it #i mean. the sign by mine says not to put furniture in it. so maybe its just some malicious compliance by putting it next to the dumpster #but ive heard that furniture goes next to the dumpster so that others can take it. thats where i got my desk and my mirror #im gonna miss my desk. its so cute and i love it. but i dont have space. i dont mind getting rid of the other furniture tho #its shit furniture from estate sales that i bought out of necessity #now someone can have my shit furniture if they want it #its kind of fun to see my apartment get emptier and cleaner tho. my moving time is coming up and im so excited #its wild to look at the list of shit i cleaned today. i made a list in my notebook so i could keep track of what i was doing #and its really satisfying to cross stuff off of a list. it takes up almost a whole page length #im exhausted now tho. that was a lot of fucking cleaning #okay bye

[everymeloneveryday]

I fucked up and let q run out ill refill it soon I prommy

#literally only happened bc i forgot + got distracted #did you know ff14 is fun? dont play it tho its so fuckin racist it makes my skin crawl sometimes #it takes WAY too long to get to shb which is like genuinely fun AND doesnt make me feel like im being called slurs #and i actually liked arr except for the bits where theyre furry racist for possibly the worst reasons ever #like if youre going to have a self perpetuating cycle at least acknowledge it more than one or two times #hums. anyway #its my birthday on the 4th. thats exciting #melon speaks

[todayisafridaynight]

[ almost ] seasonal question; what do you think the arakawa family does for the holidays?

jo bbg answered that for us three seconds into y7 now didnt he

#snap chats #this was the best ask to send rn i gotta wait for the train to go back LOL #BUT NAW IM PLAYIN. kinda. jo is a bitch about holidays tho #when masato was younger and predominantly under his care arakawa For Sure spoiled him rotten with gifts and nice dinners #Its A Special Occasion Lets Splurge etc etc #of course the older masato got the more distant he became until he outright just dodged arakawa entirely #if ichi isnt hounded with work (coughjocough) he’s def hangin with arakawa then. Should He Be Invited Of Course <- he always is #jo’s lame ass is spending his holidays alone even when arakawa insists he can spend it with them #Theres Work To Be Done etc etc SHUT UP also his perpetual guilt prevents him from living a lil #in the event jo isnt being A Salty Bitch tho i reckon arakawa drags him to an outing :) with ichiban. #no its fun its great Holidays With His Boys Haha. Guys Please Stop Fighting— #masato’s just Too Cool to hang out with a bunch of yakuza for the holidays. its not easy getting him a gift either #yk since he can just buy whatever he wants whenever he wants and he isnt exactly the most generous guy towards the arakawa fam #insane to say that like girl HES a part of the arakawa fam… lol… anyway #the tl;dr answer is arakawa’s taking Whoever Is Willing To Spare An Hour out to dinner #perchance a cute lil gift exchange too. you know ichi always stressin what to get arakawa #nothin he can afford is as cool or awesome as he is etc etc <- arakawa’s just happy to have ichi’s company #arakawa learned his lesson with masato. that isnt to say he doesnt give ichi super nice things but. Within Reason. HUMBLE. #pops gettin him whatever game he accidentally started to infodump about durin lunch... #crying i just know ichi's an excited puppy whenever he gets a gift. i just know masato was a bitch when he got somethin #yes ichi is a Grown Man but he actin like the excited kid arakawa never got to see and it makin him tear up JUST A BIT #trying to give jo a gift is like pulling teeth he does that bit where hes all Oh No I Couldnt but he means it #he'll relent tho. he realizes it's more trouble than its worth to refuse #‘snap what happened to mitsu’ fuck man what DID happen to mitsu LMAO #hes prob got his own friends and fam…. he isnt as tight with the arakawas as that quartet is yk… #ily mitsu dont get it twisted….. i just know you got a wife in rggo.... #ok i should can it i have to drive now :(((((( byyyyeeee...... after i answer one more ask HANG ON-- #send me more holiday related asks for the arakawas..... i love them... AND the holidays..

[feua]

*taps mic* this thing on?

#r.txt #hi hi hi i miss being active sm i hate school :| #i still need a new computer too cause rn i cant run sims with anything installed it sucks ass #im excited for infants tho!!!! and the new pack im foaming at the mouth why do they make us pay for basic game things its so lame but wtvr!! #im just popping in for a min im on spring break but i still have hw :'(( #just a few more months and maybe i can get a job and save enough for a new pc lets hope #im taking a photoshop/illustrator class and i rly hate my prof i havent learned anything i didnt already know #and we have to use MACS :| actually wanna fight its me vs apple products till i di #e #ive been playing vanilla for a bit and its not as fun but its alright #ive uploaded some houses to the gallery if anyone is interested ig i could post those to be semi active #i have literally sm to do in my life i hate being old (19) im basically dead #i say it every time but im going to make my return one day i swear it i love this community despite its many many flaws i miss everything #unfortunatly i have to deal w an 8-5 school schedule twice a week the rise and grind mindset is not for me #if i get time i might try to post more silly updates ive been doing but for now au revoir (adios) (im into tfb now smile) #ok bye aggain 4 nowsies

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#ok. so the guy from school i visited emailed me today like: good news! we unanimously voted to extend u an offer here #so expect the formal offer in the next week. and im like uuuugh i wanna say yes so bad #bc in the us i would have more flexibility in the program than i would in the uk #and my options in the us r either to b a big fish in a small pond at this schoolor a little fish in a big pond at the other #bc this school is underfunded and a bit isolated out in the mountains but the staff r pretty great and big egos dont seem like a big issue #but if i go to the other school its like a big well funded school. the application was like 75 dollars. fuck u and really annoying #and i mean id have to live in new jersey. so in the city with city driving and prob a more high pressure school environment #and more of a chance of dealing with big egos. but like career wise im sure it would b good. assuming i don't mentally collapse #but i mean that doesnt seem as fun as spending 5 years out in the rocky mountains #like thry have fucking moose and bears! there were deer and turkeys in town! #and my dad just sent me a video of all the spring peepers singing back home and im like 😭 bc froggies and he was like i bet u could find #frogs out in [redacted city] and im like 😭 ur right. it just seems like the better choice for my poor overtaxed brain and the project is #so cool too. i want to get the cyano species as my computer background asap. and the guy is nice and apparently super supportive #and i could probably walk to hiking trails. god. i mean i have to say yes to that. i wanna say yes so bad. send me the formal offer bro #ill fucking take it before i even hear back from the other schools lol. ugh. i hate making choices #oof i am so excited to kno where im going and plan my departure. its gonna b such a pain moving tho i pray that my mum or dad can drive #with me bc otherwise the 20hr drive by myself might kill me. thats almost as bad as my initial move out here lol. the us is so big #ugh. again choices. is this the right choice? probably one of the biggest decisions of my life. the project feels so right. cyanobacteria #my algal group of choice. and hot springs. how tf do u say to no to that? i mean. id b doing that in new jersey too but with red algae #ugh. put me out of this misery lol. also as an aside. shout out to my fucking disaster brain for not being able to focus on a single thing #my boss in a meeting: so glad to have students and staff so excited to b working on this project!! me: lady i hate that im on this project #bc im just sitting in until they can get an actual student. i just do what im told but appreciate the enthusiasm lol #ay. im so tired. i wanna see the snow and mountains. and fix my head. and get outta the desert. and listen to frogs 🐸 😌 #unrelated

[fatsmyname]

i may have covid again but at least i got an interview with my top choice internship... a win amongst todays loss...

#fats talks #im bored out of my mind tho #very fortunate that i got my fourth shot in january so its extremely mild #just going to have a lot of free time for the next five days....... #n ee way im really excited about this internship interview! #my current internship ends in march so itll be really fun to do another in the summer #and its an illustration gig too so ill actually get to make art!!! #yay :3c!!!

[arolesbianism]

I'm still not over h2woah they're so funny to me. Especially the octoling, they rly managed to make the whitest ass character in the entire splatoon universe, I hope they explode <3

#rat rambles #splat posting #also points to the sight. stop agressively gendering characters before we know. thanks. #also I will not lie to you despite my teasing with their reveal I actually do rly like aquasonic it alas is catchy as hell #anyways Im excited to learn more abt them I wanna know what their dymanic is like #also how old they are cause they definitely seem young but I wanna know if I have to bully them extra hard cause theyre like 14 or smth #they definitely both have collector flavor autism to me tho I feel like they collect knockoff furbys or smth #the coral is always making sure theyre all nice and clean and the octoling does most of the skin bathing #since the coral feels too bad skinning them unless its for mechanical maintenance #the octoling makes them all ugly lil tshirts with horrible lil logos on them for their hypothetical future projects #oh and the coral in my minds eye also collects a few other types of old toys #mostly like small figure like ones that they clean up for fun #the octoling is mostly just in the offbrand furby game but loves any toys that use mechanical parts #any toy with a shitty voicebox and a skin of fur over hard parts will win their heart fast #well maybe not fur but yknow what I mean #idk maybe theyd still use fur for toys? at least in squid japan where they have the judds #actually maybe thats what the offbrand furbys they collect are like fluffies or smth that have a fluffy thing going on #anyways I should stop pulling hcs out of nowhere for an eternity and go shower lol