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the-nefarious-vampire · 5 months

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"you only say you're autistic because you want to feel special and different" actually finding out i was autistic made me feel significantly less special and different. before i was autistic i was Strange and Unpredictable in some sort of Unknowable way which Surely meant i was Predestined for Greatness (like storybook character). now im just some fuckin autistic guy like any other. i significantly prefer it this way btw

#this isnt about being a gifted kid btw this is about being different from everyone else #seeing that all the famous people you look up to were Also described as being different from everyone else #and going “ahah! i must be a main character of some sort! i cannot wait for my fascinating tale to unfold!”#“perhaps i will be the first contact which alien life makes with earth! perhaps i am secretly a shapeshifting cat!”#only to grow up & find out what autism is & go “oh im actually just like millions of other people who are not famous at all. yay!”#autism #autistic #actually autistic

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puppyeared · 5 months

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aughg

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mewtwo24 · 2 months

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Not to be That Guy but like.

Am I the only one that can't stop thinking about how Tianlang-Jun says about Luo Binghe that he pretends to be cold-hearted like his mother. The hint of fondness there, the heartache in that utterance.

Like it drives me absolutely insane. Imagining her putting on a front of strength, cold and driven and unrelenting. Why does TLJ say that about her. Did she secretly look for solutions that meant reconciling with demons instead of hurting them when her sect wasn't looking? (I wonder this because I feel like his weird fondness for SQQ would lowkey track if it's connected to the woman he once loved.) Did he mean that she was tasked with basically assassinating him and she fell in love with him instead (re: failed step one)? Did he mean that she was fond and doting in her own way (e.g. conceding he was attractive, paying for his exploits and humoring him)? Did he mean that, like LBH, she thought that power would be the thing to protect her--and that it was disguising a person who was deeply and privately wounded? All four????? I don't need sleep I need a n s w e r s

Did she know about the Huanhua Palace Master's skeevy ass intentions before she met TLJ? Or did those only come to significant light after she fell in love with TLJ? Is that why she never anticipated that level of betrayal, because initially she had no intention of being with anyone romantically? And HHPM just assumed she would be under his thumb forever?? Was she furious at her own indiscretion or did she try to use the pregnancy as a bargaining chip, a way to try to stop the immortals of Cang Qiong Mountain from attacking TLJ (plus the bonus of marriage entrapment no takesies backsies this is where LBH gets it from)? Did she try to use that claim on her to dissuade HHPM from his covetous advances, framing herself as tainted so that she could finally escape? Did she dream of a life by TLJ's side, far away from Cang Qiong Mountain?

Like. Literally every single permutation of what this could mean guts me to hell. Do you ever just cry about tianxi because I--[loud bawling noises]

#svsss #tianxi #tianlang jun #su xiyan #like this shit keeps me awake at night #i'm trying to put fic ideas together and every time i go back to that line i just #find myself trying to parse and hone out su xiyan's mannerisms/personality #zzl's descriptions help a great deal but i also love that they're limited in the sense that #1. zzl was clearly scared shitless of/disconcerted with her LMFAO #2. he was suspicious of her (as a cultivator fundamentally) and its fascinating that TLJ did not seem to share this suspicion at all #or one could argue tlj just didn't care beyond his attraction and glee being around her jkahglfdskjhsfkhjg #there is also the hilarious implication that part of what turned tlj on so much about sx is the fact that she could prbly kill him #tlj really said 'i love a woman who can and WILL kick my ass'#'none of that soft power seduction shit manhandle me or nothing'#like he always believed deep down--or at the very least wanted to believe--that she loved both him and lbh dearly #i'm not usually the fix-it fic type but the Way I Need To See Su Xiyan Destroy Huanhua Palace Master's Entire Life.#i just want sx and her boytoy to live happily ever after is that so wrong?#i also think of that person (im so sorry tumblr user i dont rmr who u are at the minute) that said there had to be trust between tlj and sx #because YES. ABSOLUTELY. I AGREE. AND I WANT IT FOR ME #don't mind me just the usual descent into madness anytime i think too hard about svsss #i need to outline damn you airplane and your refusal to expand on LBH's juicy ass backstory #ill never forgive the chinese (joke)

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greensaplinggrace · 1 year

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does anybody else think about how all of the darkling’s survival techniques were taught to him by a woman experienced at surviving in a man’s world?

#aleksander morozova #the darkling #shadow and bone #grishaverse #sab #baghra morozova #general kirigan #myramblings #im sorry but *everything* about the way he views men and his oppressors and operates within the system is so incredibly similar #to how women navigate through life #and how they navigate power structures with their oppressors #i think a lot about that scene in ditw when he's observing how his mother seduces men #i find it fascinating #like obviously he's still a 'man in power'#and his privilege as a man is unmistakeable #but i think any analysis of his character as a 'man in power' only is wholly incorrect #especially when it comes to his relationship with the royal family #and baghra tries to teach him how to operate as a man in a man's world #especially with that speech about being a leader of men and reading the relationships between the elders in camp really well #but even that coming from baghra is SO incredibly 'you need to be able to read the power dynamics between men'#so you can learn to navigate them the way i do - as a woman #because that is all she really knows #and the way she teaches him to accept all of the trauma he will inevitably suffer #and instead only teaches him how to mitigate it #how to turn even the worst atrocities committed against him to his own purposes #it is all so VERY #oooauuughh #i think some of the WORST anti character analyses for him #come from people who ignore baghra's influence on him as a parent #in every way

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lover-of-mine · 8 months

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911 Hiatus Rewatch and Parallels:

3x05 "Rage" -> 3x05 "Rage"

Bonus:

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blindtigerart · 6 months

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Did you rummage to fruition??

I’ve had this in my unfinished wip for ages even tho i finished succession way back. anyways the show is great and i love how it makes me insane over rich people

#succession #tom wambsgans #greg hirsch #tomgreg #THESE TWO MAKE ME INSANE!!!!! they’re so awful for each other but their interactions are fascinating #i want to study them under a microscope #anyways i DID try to do a new painting style with this so #took a lot from leyendecker but also wanna add a shitton of texture #im rambling but im finding if i analyze and talk about my process? it like. helps me figure out what to do next

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nerdie-faerie · 1 month

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I'm once again thinking about the missed opportunities to have Klaus and Kol bond more. Part of Klaus' whole motivation as a vampire is to get his werewolf part back and to finally be stronger than Mikael (sort of, I'm simplifying) both of which can be obtained by breaking his curse. But Kol? Kol is the only other original that can relate to having a fundamental part of themself ripped away from them. Klaus might not have known he was a werewolf until he killed, but he likely still had a connection he couldn't explain, as evident by him going to watch the wolves transform. And something he'd never been able to explain was now gone. He might only be able to realise the connection afterwards through its absence.

Kol though. Kol had grown up with magic, a connection to nature and the world around him in a way the rest of his siblings supposedly didn't have. And then he gets turned. And not only has his baby brother died, his father has just murdered him and the rest of his siblings after forcing them to drink human blood, which he'll later learn. Now, not only does he have to deal with the grief of Henrik's death and also his own but also the loss of his magic. A loss that's likely only worsened by Kol being a self-proclaimed child prodigy.

Kol is pretty much the only one who could understand what Klaus is going through with the binding of his wolf. We know Kol searched for ways to get his magic back/carry on practicing magic in the same way that Klaus was looking for ways to break his curse. While Klaus likely could still feel his wolf there despite being bound, Kol has no access to his magic anymore. I just think they should've been able to bond or connect over their shared loss of an intrinsic aspect of their selves at the hands of their parents

#TVD #The Mikaelsons #Kol Mikaelson #Klaus Mikaelson #briefly back on my the originals shouldve gotten to be a family goddammit and as someone from a big family im personally offended bs #i did right a lil snippet about them bonding over this that i havent posted yet for the joml verse but still think its an unexplored concep #need more witch!kol acknowledgement honestly. just need more content of my boy #anyway. klaus having a fascination with the moon and kol telling him about celestial events and how it affects his magic when theyre boys #klaus losing that connection to the moon feeling lost & extra tempermental feeling his wolf claw at its binds and vowing to break his curse #kol determined to get his magic back at any cost relating to that devasting loss and promising to help him find a loophole for his curse #kol who becomes extra reckless and determined when he learns that theres a way to break klaus' curse so maybe he can get his magic back too #that knowledge and recklessness combined with his loss of magic driving him to become the volatile vampire that we see #that leads to him being daggered repeatedly but that first time breaks something in that bond between him & klaus that never fully recovers #it makes him bitter and resentful only fueling his reckless behaviour particularly when there seems to be no leads on reclaiming his magic #that he becomes distant from his siblings in the process especially with finn still daggered but that distance only cements the idea #to his siblings that hes a danger and cant be trusted that he needs to be daggered if theyre to stay safe from mikael #the loss of his magic leading to his spiral as a vampire and him being ostracised by his family > actual tvdu kol canon #klaus being trapped in a room staring at the corpse of his little brother knowing he never repaired that relationship with him #and now he never can so he refuses to look away as penance and a reminder of his failings to his little brother #*edit: one of the reblogs on this post is the author of big bad wolf and honestly she does an amazing job at portraying the mikaelsons #as actual siblings if you havent read it its one of my favourites for characterisations but we need more 😭 i want it to be the norm

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salemoleander · 1 month

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Given Mumbo's poll about weirdness in Hermit Minecraft control choices, I am immensely curious if in fact a lot of people have "weird" personal changes to the standard control schemes/ keybinds of Minecraft, and we just don't talk about them much in normal conversation

For instance, I play with the Attack/Destroy and Place Block buttons reversed. Place is left click, destroy is right click. (This seemed self-evidently more logical to me than the default keys when I started playing age 13 or so.)

I would be very interested to hear about people's personal MC keybinds and irl interactions w/ MC¹ controls in replies, tags, or reblogs!

¹Irl interactions w MC controls Example: Pressing Shift with your thumb isn't a weird keybind, Shift to crouch is the default! However, pressing with a thumb is a weird way to interact with that keybind.

#minecraft #tag game #before minecraft tag ppl get stressed: despite the opening line this is legitimately just a question about mc the game 👍#Also I sdouble-tap to sprint and don't use toggle-crouch #but I think those are normal for people who started mc before alternatives existed #and tilde is drop item rather than q but I know 'lets make it harder to throw my pick in lava dear lord' is quite common #salem tag #im worried this comes off as like. note farming. as if that fucking exists on tumblr lmao #im just fascinated by the ways people find most intuitive to interact with the same UI and game #I Love Footnotes. Chicago-Turabian style has poisoned my brain forever. also their use for humor in the Bartimaeus series.

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hoarding-stories · 4 months

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Continuing my lore note-taking:

1423- the term "lingua arcana" is coined

1440-the first college of summoners

1456- 3rd college of summoners, founding of the conclave of magi, the term wizard is largely accepted

1464- Siraz Imperium approaches the conclave in a show of support, wants to give money to help further wizardry

Two factions in the conclave, the Acordati and the Antivily.

Acordati- lingua arcana should belong to all peoples, accept help to continue their goals & better the world/people

Antivily- should refuse the offer & not accept help from the Imperium

The two factions fought, Antivily lost, 3 years later Eriean is formed & white desert created

#worlds beyond number #wbn #wbn spoilers #wwwo #wwwo spoilers #wbn lore #gonna start using that tag i think #in order to find things latee #im not in school anymore #so im getting my fill of note-taking through fantasy means #absolutely fascinating stuff

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monprecieuxx · 4 months

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See the thing is, to me, Twins at the heart of it has become about loneliness. Regardless of how much they’re explored or present on screen, every character is so painfully alone. By choice, by circumstances, by accident, just so crippingly lonely.

Sprite is alone by circumstance. He’s alone because no one prefers him, alone because Zee is a better bearer of their mother’s expectations. He’s the older twin and overlooked and he still tries, my goodness he tries so hard that it makes me wonder how anyone in his life can see that and not adore him to pieces. He’s so lonely he thinks his brother’s known nemesis is his closest confidant. In this team full of people who hate the one who wears his face he would rather tackle trying to befriend First, that it is the best choice. Idk if it’s naïveté or just unchallenged confidence he built up as a way to survival but it’s so audacious, it’s kind of brilliant.

And it works, it wears First down, he manages to get these people to like him but at the end of the day, it’s not him they like. This timed repose of belonging but only when he is standing in for someone else. Holding onto Zee’s life while his falls to pieces and for what? No credit, no appreciation, not even a hint of understanding from his mother, his father, even Salmon or Tan.

First is similar in the sense of never getting afforded the favouritism Zee enjoys from his father and his sister being a Zee stan just adds salt to the wound. The only people who prefer him are the team and even then they are so factioned he’s part of the in-group and still stands alone.

Zee, see Zee is so interesting to me cause his loneliness is self-inflicted. Maybe it started when the twins were split, maybe when he became part of the team we don’t know. We’ve only seen the worst parts of him until now and he seems to be content functioning in that window too. He’s thrust into this life w/o any input, seems to be doing it right and he’s still miserable. He has the recognition, he allegedly has the skill, he (undeservedly, in a way) has the girl and he still vows to take over Sprite’s life? And do what? Wreak havoc as him? Permanently replace him? Just hang around to fuck w/Sprite?

Idk where im going w/this, just ruminating about characters from this silly twin swap show.

#i find the twins' relationship fascinating #we don't even know what sprite feels towards zee even though he's literally doing so much for him #is there resentment? on sprite's side for never being chosen #on zee's side for in a sense being abandoned in the rigidity of their mother's guardianship when sprite promised to keep him safe?#im sure someone in the tag has said most of this already #and my scatterbrained ramblings are not known for being coherent let alone valuable insights #but hey when on a fandom tumblr blog yk?#twins the series #dae.txt

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queen0fm0nsterz · 5 months

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thinking about the Lady again and she actually is the Character Ever.

Starting off with her design. How ridiculously simple it is, right? Her yukata is plain brown and has a single layer, her wig (and yes, I am positive what she wears is not her hair but a wig soley because of how easily it comes undone... that kind of hairstyle is meant to STICK when done with actual hair) has no decorations befitting a woman of her powerful status and her mask is nothing but... empty. You could mistake her for a mannequin and you wouldn't even be wrong. It's by design, after all: she is as insanely important, as a figure, as she is anonymous as a person.

But then, it's with amusement that you note that that boring, unexpressive mask is called the "Rascal's mask" when unlocked. It's such an oddly affectionate nickname stemming from a person so utterly despicable. And then you notice her hair. Her long, black hair that should be hidden under her wig, as the hairstyle goes, but are instead hanging out freely. Not very traditional at all, right? You could almost read it as a small act of defiance of... something. Now, what that thing is, I doubt even she knows. Maybe it's just her way to seek individuality without having to step into zones she does not want to touch.

And then, of course, the lack of shoes. It's not uncommon for people to wear slippers in the house - especially for the Japanese - but she just... doesn't. In that small, small way, she is similar to Six - and every other child in the Maw running around barefoot. Except she's above running, of course. She's got the privilege of floating like a ghost so that she may never touch the ground.

(The only time when this rule is broken is when she fights Six, poetically enough. You can see her visibly step back.)

These strange little things are the first things that push you to wonder about her as a person. Not the title, not the Lady of the Maw: the individual behind the mask. Who is that person? What is she like? Is there a way to answer these questions? I think yes, if you know where to look - but is it worth to ask these questions considering what she does?

That depends on you. Me personally, I think there is narrative worth to be found in what she has to hide. Her foil, Six, finds value in the aspects of herself she does not hide: she is very unapologetic in her selfhood. The Lady isn't, for the most part.

(I wonder if that would make her envious of her younger counterpart in a different context?)

Frankly, looking back on her choice of attire, the fact that her personal bedroom is barely decorated is not surprising. She only has the essentials: a bed, the vase with the key, a few pictures of importance (of people long forgotten, herself included no doubt) and... an ungodly amount of misplaced clothes all over her quarters. All the same yukata, repeated over and over, maniacally folded and arranged in towers, but never where they're supposed to be.

A bedroom is the reflection of yourself. Of your inner world. The fact hers looks so barebones is quite telling about who she is. Or isn't. She herself may have some trouble trying to figure that one out.

I think that, in a vacuum, it's easy to assume that the reason she's so displeased by her reflection is soley out of vanity. That is definitely part of it, but I don't think that's all there is. Because after seeing the mannequins that all look just like her, the four women in the picture who also wear her same exact clothes... and that hidden quote.

This quote, which is from Alice in Wonderland. Specifically from a conversation in which Alice expresses how she doesn't recognise herself anymore because of how many times she grew big and small during the course of the day. She is not the same person she was before entering Wonderland.

I find the way she clings to the dolls and the music box to be much more... sombre when keeping this in mind. In a way, that scene is reminiscent of Monster Six clinging to her music box in the chaos of the Tower; an attempt to attach to something safe. For the Lady, it's even more personal. Those are her toys. Her song. No one can take them from her and claim them as theirs. These materialistic tomes are physical proof of her identity. She likes dolls, and she likes to sing that song from her music box. Surely, that much is something.

But a ceramic toy and an old music box are not really enough to placate the inner turmoil. Hence the broken mirrors, the hidden statues... the hung down portraits with their eyes scratched out - from times of the past. There is a person looking back in the mirror which she does not recognise. That can't be her, right?

It isn't. The reflection is but a faux image of her outward appearence. The inside, however... much like this concept art shows, she is melting away. Rapidly decaying no matter how much she tries to stick to her youth.

Because at the end of the day, that's what she's doing, no? The toys, the music box, her appearence... all of it, just to cling a bit more to the person she used to be. Point being that I doubt even she remembers what she used to be.

You'd think a person like this would be inclined to feel at least some sympathy for all the lost children wandering the Nowhere. A sense of kinship, perhaps, or even just... basic human compassion. She has proved to have very human emotions, after all. This is where she proves you wrong. Whenever you think she's stepped the lowest, she always goes lower.

In her humanity, she is brutal. Relentless, ruthless. She offers no sympathy to anyone and has no empathy to spare either. She is very much aware of what's going on under her roof: she not only allows the Maw to continue being the way it is in spite of having the power to change things, but she actively engages in its despicable practices. She has petrified children in her quarters, as well as their ashes - of which the use is unclear - and then she is responsible for the Nome population and exploitation being so large and so eerily heavy. She's twisted necks, broken bones, murdered innocents.

The Shadow Children are, to me, one her greatest offenses. I don't think they serve any particular purpose other than... being there because she wanted to make them. Children ripped away from their life because of her whims. Not even in death can they rest because she can get her hands on their souls. They're nameless, forgotten shadows with blank masks: they're just like their creator, in that way. Ripped of all individuality and devoid of everything.

Everything she sees, the Lady devours. Not a creature is safe from her shadows and her wrath, especially if they come and actively intrude in her activities. She's twice as aggressive if the Maw is at stake.

The Lady's personal bedroom has another motif piece which I did not previously mention: the Maw wallpaper. While Roger and the Chefs have wallpapers that portray them with her, the Lady... does not. She only has the Maw. She's not part of that picture.

The Lady can't let the Maw change its ways. She is the Maw. The Maw must survive: so must she. To change the Maw would mean challenging herself enough to bring about a change; to her, who does nothing but lament what she lost, that would be too much effort. Too outside of the comfortable zone where she can survive in peace. Miserable, but unbothered.

... For the most part. Until Six comes around.

#the lady #carols.txt #ln meta #{dude i dont even know where i was going with this #if it seems like this post comes from a place of love it does #not at her as a person but like as a character. i find her so interesting and i feel oddly tender about her writing #usually when this happens its because i see pieces of the person i could have been in a character (like scaramouche for example)#but this time its from the completely opposite perspective #i am a person with a very clear idea of who i am. i know what my identity is and i am not afraid to express it #so witnessing a character with such a confused identity is both alien and fascinating to me #i wanted to focus more on her atrocities and how capitalism is what changes a person but its... 2 am and i am sick rn #i spent an hour literally vomiting my ramblings on this post #as a person and what she stands for i despise her. as a character i wish to put her in a security blanket and see how she gets out #this post feels terribly personal for some reason. like whatever . shes not even allat #im lying she literally IS allat #idk i love well written female characters who feel like people and dont fit in a specific convenctional box. sue me #< goes for six too #not opening *that* can of worms rn but. yeah}#little nightmares

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arcadianico · 10 months

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rotating this scene in my head

I just think it’s so fascinating the difference between elq’s dynamic with cucurucho here and the dynamic between qq and cucurucho the last time we saw them together.

like functionally both qs are doing a similar thing (asking questions and talking on when cucurucho doesn’t answer them) but the power dynamic is clearly different. cucurucho’s silence with qq felt like amusement, here it feels like shyness almost? and elq’s reaction when he sees that the others are coming to the station feels somewhere between a boss and your parent saying “i told you so”. idk it feels clear to me that elq is the one with the power between the two of them

#im so fascinated by him #yes ive watched the vod four times what of it #i just think their whole thing is fascinating #i find the fact that elq seems to have the social power but not the administrative power also interesting #because he has to ask cucurucho to do things for him #like give him a key or allow them to go through a different door #but even still he feels like the one with power between the two of them #i also wonder how much of the asking for a key stuff was meant to be a performance in front of the audience #to convince us he’s still qq but amicable with the feds now #and how much is true to what he does and doesn’t have access to #idk i am having thoughts #elquackity #cucurucho #osito bimbo #qsmp

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moeblob · 7 months

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Demyx (my beloved)

#kingdom hearts #demyx #honestly is there an organization member i dont like? not really tbh #ok i lied maybe one but even then i find him fascinating so even he gets a pass #demyx being such a good boy who doesnt actually care for fighting then having the whole kh3 thing #where he has the yellow eyes but still just helps the good team vaguely then dips out of the entire game #where did he go and why .... what secrets do you hold young man #i should replay kh3 cause there are things i think i remember but idk for sure #like wasnt there actually a scene where hes just... been benched for being bad at being bad or smth #i really remember a scene where either he says or someone else is like oh yeah he got benched lol #like why does he have to be so funny yet get so little screen time im dying squirtle #though for the record him just handing a mannequin to even and saying peace out for the rest of the game WAS hilarious #this is me living the best time line where not only does demyx just dip and never get mentioned from anyone #but also in an otome i played theres a route where my fave guy just also dips early on #and then in the very end some other LI asks another LI what happened to him btw like where did he go #and the another LI was like oh my god i forgot about him idk man #my favorites just making an appearance and leaving is really funny to me #these tags got super long bc im very stressed and now devoting brain power to vgs in order to not cry

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haemosexuality · 3 months

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small brain: the scene where jayce gets it on w mel and the scene where sky asks viktor out and he refuses are paralleled to show that jayce has decided to focus on politics (mel) and neglect his partnership with viktor, while viktor continues to focus on science and experimentation (as well as poiting out viktors growing isolation from those around him).

big brain: the scene where jayce gets it on w mel and the scene where sky asks viktor out and he refuses are paralleled to show that viktor is not interested in women and is gay. and in love with jayce.

#not a jayvik truther or a jayvik hater but a secret third thing (i think viktor absolutely was in love with jayce but it wasnt reciprocated)#jayce said ''youre like a brother to me viktor :)'' and it kickstarted viktors villain arc #arcane #jayvik #jayce talis #wait does viktor have a last name #i googled it and he doesnt seem to have one no. only topsiders get to have surnames and hes a zaunite so he doesnt!!!!!!#i love the details in this show!!!#ive been rewatching it+watching a lot of reactions and analysis on youtube and i cant stop noticing how scenes parallel each other #every scene is a fucking parallel to another one!!! every phrase!!!! im going insane!!! this show is so fucking good!!!!!#i forgot to tag viktor #viktor arcane #i phrased the post as a joke but i truly believe this is part of his character. like an important part that helps drive him over the edge #a bit #idk if its what all the writers and animators intended but its how i see it #im rlly fascinated w viktors character after finding out what hes like in the game im so excited to see what hes gonna be like in s2

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incorrect-ikevamp-quotes · 6 months

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So was anyone going to tell me Faust is a bigger menace than EVERYONE in the game put together or like. Was I supposed to play the Impossible Choices event (Vincent and Charles ver) myself. I LOVE that he's the definition of: 'being smarter doesn't make me more mature or helpful, it just makes my inherent lust for chaos/entropy all the more unstoppable' This shit FUCKS

I think this is the first time I've ever seen a character make Shakespeare's life a living hell and the latter didn't expect/see it coming, that was AMAZING. Mf was out here like "What the hell??? You lot don't make me suffer I make YOU suffer. Let a man obsess IN PRIVACY" and then nobody cared. Peak comedic interaction, no notes everyone pack it up

#ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp faust #ikevamp shakespeare #i got issues with his main story route (the problem is me to be clear--also god i cant stand catholicism)#but i gotta say he's hilarious in other events #im so used to incredibly intelligent characters being wooden/mature/stoic #but this guy really out here like 'What If I Made Everything Worse. As A Treat.'#and sincerely i love it for him--mad scientist is such a limiting label #i also find it fascinating he just casually said 'don't stress out the butler' to charles #WHEN ALL HE DOES IS ACTIVELY STRESS OUT THE B U T L E R IN HIS RT #aight to be fair its prbly actually favoritism considering he [insert sebas rt spoilers]#but in my defense that was not clear until like chapter 20 out of 25 #i still remember being like 'faust you are arguably one of the hottest 2d men ever conceived. HOWEVER. if you hurt my nerd friend ->#and fellow ace icon i will be most put out with you.'#and then as soon as sebas was better i was like 'aight we fk heavy let's go'#also love that shakespeare lowkey wanted the company despite grousing he's just like me fr

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mishapen-dear · 4 months

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something about qbad mentioning how much horror he put red team thru every time purgatory gets brought up... something about how proud dapper was of him.

like this is just my late-night read but- it feels like guilt qbad is trying to twist into pride. he keeps needling away at it. “i killed them all, over and over and over again.” “they were hunted by a monster.”

it’s like- reassurance. like a nail he’s trying o beat into his head. he’s had SO much trouble with legitimately hurting his friends, despite making that vow all the way back when the eggs first went missing, despite all the tree talk and the promises to save the kids no matter what. He never faltered with elq, and that protected them. He keeps faltering now. Sometimes he doesnt remember the code, or cucurucho, or skeppy. But that doesnt matter, right? Because he’ll protect the eggs. He’ll be the monster. he is the monster. he can and he will protect them even as his seams start ripping and he keeps breaking further and further apart. even at his worst, he’ll do whatever he needs to protect the eggs.

he’ll be the monster. wont he?

#qsmp #he loves his friends and he wants to hurt them #he loves his friends and he doesnt want to hurt them #qsmp badboyhalo #ita like. He was torturing himself with the soul vultures because he kidnapped ron and threw down some scary magma mobs #and then forever changwd rhe whole fuckin narrative with that appreciation room and bad remembered the joy of community #and then cellbit. Where bad was like ‘i see him destroying himself to get the eggs back and i know where that road goes’#’his loved ones dont want that to happen to him. i dont want that to happen to him’#and then purgatory gave him the first actal legitimate lead for finding their kids and he just had to get worse #and so he fucking swandived into self destructive violence (and the cc was purposefully playing qbad more recklessly violent)#(bbgirl couldve been lured into a trap so so easily)#ive lost my point somewhere now im just rotating qbbh in my brain and all the parallels #ah yes. But now theyre out of purgatory. And he refuses to regret what he did because he *had* to do what he could to save dapper #and the other eggs #because he has a huge complex about being the ‘only one who can protect the eggs’ because of a thousand little cuts and his mental health #issues. Like he’s Wrong bur its such a fascinating little direction for his character. Yes king burn thyself on the pure of protection #and then burn in a nuclear blast too because your self sufficiency left you to care for your egg alone #you can take care of the eggs. you can hurt your friends. look at how much you hurt your friends #look st the monster you are . your teeth are sharp and your claws are large #never mind that time you sent tina into a panic attack because you tried to recreate safety #never mind that your friends and family are worried about you #you are falling apart. but so many monsters survive the killing blow

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