#im generally always there for people who need it

[fishbloc]

hiiii friend (it’s birdie shhh didn’t want to send on my main blog) i fully support avoiding wips as i am doing the same so here is my question:

what, if you have any, are some of your favorite desert duo headcanons? can be scar or grian individually or them together

HIII BIRDIE sorry one of the wips is said yours related sigh . we're in this nightmare blunt rotation together

anyway. im gonna answer this in both for general and my WTLT!verse because theyre kinda different LOL sorry this gets long

general hcs 1) scar is a... very practical guy i would say. despite his strength lies in his words he would still favour showing care and affection. yknow stuff like cutting fruits for someone without asking. hes littered with small fleeting gestures and only someone who knows him well enough like grian could pick up on them 2) personally i always see grian as the loud annoying friend/partner/whatever you wanna call it. sure he sometimes uses it as an excuse to repress things he doesnt wanna talk about (this is where scar would usually coax him out of it) but his loudness can be really handy at times when an uneasy awkwardness fall between them. ALTHOUGH this doesnt mean grian won't 'shut down' when the situation arises (because i like quiet grian too) 3) not sure how to fit in one small paragraph about my dynamic hc for them but i can say with full conviction grian and scar would stick fruit labels onto each other's forehead when grocery shopping to piss the other off. hope this helps 😁😁

where the light touches hcs: 1) i really really like the hc that scar is so unphased by everything because hes jaded like that (whether a placid facade or no) like oh suddenly he managed to sign himself up for a death game. oh heres an immortal who wounded up in his path. oh suddenly he needs to start manipulating people to win. and hes like ok 👍 (he was first runner up in 3rd life for a reason) 2) for grian i like that hes kinda cunning in his own way. like yes hes not to full power with his watcher abilities stripped away and he can be kinda weak at times, but then he uses this front to trick people and when their guards are let down and turns the battle's tide with it. literally a small guy who packs a punch to those who underestimate him 3) for the both of them, my hc will always be that they have no choice but to trust each other wholeheartedly. because one small falter can cause their faction to fall and the only way they succeeded is because they dont second guess every time when the other will put a knife behind their back. sure this is not a popular hc but in 3rd life grian constantly stood by scar's side so. also its my storyverse and i get to pick the dynamics!!!!

#sorry i yapped #me when i dont play around with desertduo..... #have fun reading my nonsense LMAOO 😭😭😭 #邮箱

[singwhenyoucantspeak]

i dont like the genre of post thats like "LESS movies about X type of queer story and MORE movies about Y" cuz idk how to tell y'all but we just dont have enough of any of it. I gaurantee we still need more X and more importantly queer artists still want to create X. you can say you want more movies about Y without throwing X under the bus. we need more of ALL of it.

#im tired #there are always going to be queer people who still need and want representation of ever kind of queer experience #we are no where near having enough queer art to say there's too much of anything #also this is generalized because ive seen many iterations of this genre of post #with different things emphacized as X and Y #and to prove my point some posts are incompatible with other posts #because guess what the posters are different people who need and relate to different types of stories #the answer is that they should both be able to find what theyre looking for

[spearxwind]

Oof I'm kinda scared to ask... Why do you not want to be an artist professionally?

Its just like, incredibly miserable in my experience.

Everyone wants their dream job of being paid to draw whatever the hell they want but 99% of the time you are hired and tasked to draw things that you don't have a lot of interest in, professionally speaking, and constantly getting your artistic efforts undermined by the rest of the team (this is esp. true in the videogame industry) artists always try to push for better designs and get their takes watered down for the sake of general public pleasing. Also you don't have a security blanket unless you're under long term contract. Most freelancers live gig to gig with the fear of not being able to support themselves if they don't take a job to take a break. Videogame and movie jobs arent stable because companies never keep the art teams, they are laid off and rehired whenever there is a new project

During my major, I drew nonstop for 4 years for class. Not always things I enjoyed, but also not always things I didnt like. In fact I enjoyed my major immensely! It was so fun. But the burnout is very, very real, and the workload was similar (even inferior to) regular art jobs. What happens if you like to draw in your off time? You spend your days making and pumping out art nonstop for hours, and then on your free time breaks you draw some more? I personally couldn't do it. I just wanted to do other things

And like.... I spent the first three years being told by teachers (people with stable, contract based jobs) how cool of a job it is to do art, and then the last year getting grilled on how insanely hard it is to make it out there. If you don't have connections, money, an audience, a studio, it's actually impossible. You need to be your own lawyer, abide by the very strict self employment rules that take a severe chunk out of your earnings. Do all of your finance/schedule/marketing etc while on top of that constantly producing work (I know there's people who can do it but, personally, I cannot) I really admire the people who were able to build themselves up as artists from the ground like this (because its definitely possible, just insanely hard)

Also, making something you love into your job ends up being miserable too. I experienced this with patreon, which I posted to as like a chill thing and it just got increasingly hard to make content for it or just post in general, even drawing my own ocs and sharing stuff about them started to feel like a chore.

Maybe it's just me though, this has just been my personal experience but yeah in general I realized I am immensely happier just keeping art as a hobby or its gonna suck my soul out (Since I already experienced it)

I don't mean to discourage anyone, I think the world in general needs more artists. But for that we would need to actually be taken seriously and valued, which sadly we are not, at all. And if there's anyone reading that is considering art as a job: it is absolutely grueling. It's not an easy job. Even if you desperately love art it can suck the life out of you and the joy for what you do

(As an extra sidenote. Artists are usually exploited using this mentality as well. That they are supposed to love their job. So they expect you to work your wrists off "For the passion". Dont fall victim to it)

#ask #anon #genuinely i just wanna share my stories and content. see others stories in turn and make friends about it #the desperate need to monetize everything that makes you happy is such an insidious mentality. #people need to learn that you can have hobbies without needing to monetize them. your joy has inherent value and you dont need to sell it #like... i need people to stop being like 'oh you are so good at art/crochet/writing you should sell things : )' it fucking sucks #there is a lot of nuance to the topic of course but im talking like. in general #doing art out of ones heart is always good but having to pump out content under the crushing wheel of capitalism and need to survive is not #this is about my experience with drawn art but this goes for any other artistic discipline #music... writing... etc. we are all in the same boat #sorry for the long winded answer and tags i am just so passionate about this #and especially as someone whos skill wasnt taken seriously until i started making money from it........ fuck that so fucking much #you are allowed to create. in fact you should create. without feeling the need to put a price on it #not everything needs a price tag to be valuable. #especially not your joy.

[skybristle]

maybe this is just me being annoyed but whenever i try to talk abt my ocs here [which i very rarely do for this exact reason] it always gets zero engagement whatsoever. like i dont come here for Attention i come here for interaction which do kind of go hand in hand but. getting like 7 likes any time i pour my heart out about my guys is. disheartening. and it sucks because talking abt them is part of the way to get people to care! but i dont have the motivation for comics all the time [and when i do they dont get much attention either]. i feel like i should just stick to discord but im soo desprate to be heard and i feel like its hard to find The Right People to talk to

#especially when some of the people i wanna rant to dont use disc much. so i just yell into the void #this is abt sparks in particular but im miffed in general. with the response i get. #sky rambles #its just. frustrating. not mad at anyone in particular ofc !!!!!! #i need a friend who is online all the time who is always willing to hear me talk about stupid shit /SILLY #im actually Deranged about sparks rn i wish someone who Clicked With Autism was online on disc rn . so i could yap . #whatever. #sorry. #i just don't get what my guys don't have ????/ i guess probably constant art #i wish i could explain things concisely so people would care at all

[wizardnuke]

i truly don't understand how people can get really into a fandom without seeing all/most of the material involved. how are you doinf that

#i do Not understand reading fic where i don't know the characters. doesn't matter how well-written the characters are #who are these people. idk them. i can't get attached to Characters without Meeting Them. in their natural habitat. thee original story #the Text. you could call it #idk what if i hypothetically loved a fic and then looked at the og media and didn't like it at all. hard to explain #To Me. fanfic and meta (im excluding art bc im not immune to pretty picture) have to be built off of the story like. they're attached. i #can't see it as seperate #i want to engage with media and Then be insane about it idk. fandom only experience feels like. storytelling lite #many beloved mutuals are capable of this. i don't get it at all. godspeed but What #like i understand u get the gist of the canon story thru fic and fandom in general but i need to get In That Canon #im elbows deep in the legos bin of the canon always

[liquidstar]

a friend who'd wait :)

#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops. #and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can! #and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol #finn's ocs #finn's art #i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me #and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun #i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here: #barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past #he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it #he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned #which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them #they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore #but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird #and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place #though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library #and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together #since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door #eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement #barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time. #barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate #but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd #he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself #but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done. #and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies. #and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them) #and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances'' #from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov #sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3 #but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh

[theokusgallery]

The problem with my art right now is that 1) the little drawing time I have goes to @daily-basil ; 2) I have phases, and am currently deeply unmotivated ; and 3) when I do draw what this blog is currently about (Arsenic) I draw him in a gay way (because I love him deeply) and not like the unhinged person he actually is. I'm sorry I'm so soft about him right now. Yes I want Sunny and him to tear each other apart but they also need to love each other so so so much first

#siiiiiiigh... #im sorry i need him to hold sunny gently and tells him he loves him and yes he'll say it in horrible unhinged ways BUT #poor man who does not know how to love and does not know he can be loved. he is convinced he needs to manipulate people to make them stay #writing down arsenic lore for tosteur like two days ago made me so emotional about him. shaking and crying #there's not even like An Event it's just that his whole childhood sucks and he's never been accepted by anyone and he's so lonely and #(starts crying) #he does horrible horrible things but all he does to sunny truly comes from love. deeply inhumane and twisted love but love nonetheless #(except when he's being a selfish ass who doesn't have any sort of morals and generally doesn't give a shit about other people. of course) #god he's such a horrible person (/simplification) i love him #he does not care about hurting other people and only cares about his own selfish desires #he thinks he can do anything he wants and if other people get hurt by his actions it's not his problem #don't you DARE touch a single hair on sunny's head. not in a 'i care about my bf' way btw. #but because if sunny gets hurt. he has to deal with that and 1) it's boring unless it brings him something and 2) that's *his* plaything. #even when he does nice things for sunny he doesn't make it just to make sunny happy #he does it so that sunny will associate happiness with him and stay. #that's what he thinks consciously at least. he always had ulterior motives for everything he does #it doesn't really make him calculating because it's automatic at this point. it just makes him deeply selfish #my poor little boy who has never had anyone genuinely care about him before... #which doesn't excuse shit of course but hhhh i love him so much. #(D if you see this. this is about the OC not the guy. of course) #arsenic #rant #sometimes i think about nick like a normal person ('he's so awful and interesting') and sometimes i just slhrflfbfb. (cries)

[piosplayhouse]

Me giving my hour long monologue about how trans lesbians jiang cheng x wen qing is the only form of the ship I'll consume

#i think its because jc would need to deal with too many neuroses before i think he would be good for wq #otherwise it just turns into an uncomfortable feedback loop where theyre forced into a weird dynamic of older sibling #with all the emotional responsibility and younger sibling who never learned how to deal with that . so a stalemate #anyway just pulling words in the tags before i sleep since i was thinking of it earlier but it really is so ? i guess weird to me how #normalized cq became after c ql s release and subsequent netflixification #because literally no one was shipping it before it was. Like its weird to me when people watch the show first and are like this shouldve #been canon in the book because like. idk . No LOL . sorry i dont mean to be mean im genuinely just fascinated #because when c ql initially aired everyone was making fun of or mad abt that plotline #like i can pull up tweets from back then but it was just a general state of disbelief like . why #of all the characters #so its interesting that its looped around to becoming accepted to the point where people project it backwards onto the source #which i have my hangups about but whatever s v doesnt even have a drama to change anything so i wont say shit #anyway goodnight thanks for indulging me as always buddies

[redrobin-detective]

I have read a thousand fluffy, happy Batfam fics and I read one thousand more but when the happy sanitized fanon is put away and I really think of the characters, I can never believe it.

The Bats love each other, I honestly, truly believe each and every one of those weird, repressed assholes would die to save one another. But the day to day is hard. They’re not just a family, they’re coworkers and soldiers and enemies. Bruce doesn’t do normal and shows his love through control, paranoia and shared violence and he taught that to his children. The siblings never feel quite at ease around each other, too many betrayals, cutting words, stinging injuries. In the field, they are a well oiled machine, when they’re at home playing the part of a happy family, they can’t quite relax.

Dick is a demanding perfectionist who sometimes can’t separate himself the job. He’s burned bridges at some point with every family member and though he dearly loves them, sometimes being the happy, welcoming, forgiving big brother all the time to too many siblings is exhausting. It’s hard to keep so many different people happy at once so sometimes he just lets them go.

Jason never fully integrates back into the family. He doesn’t legally reclaim his name and return to his life, just keeps his head down and sticks to his turf in the alley. He’s simmered down a lot since his resurrection and can hold conversations with his so called family but it’s tense and soured by the past. He occasionally still murders and break B’s moral code but B is so tired of the fighting that they’re in a bit of a stalemate over it.

Tim has grown used to feeling like an outsider in the family. He stays out of obligation and because he has no one else left to turn to. Sometimes it feels like he’s just going through the motions of being a brother and son. He dreams about packing up and leaving but knows he never can. Is still bitter at the fallout of previously good relationships (Dick, Steph and B) and in general wary and untrusting of Jay and Dami. He wishes things could go back to how they were.

Cassandra has never truly understood the concept of a happy family. The Bats are comfortably familiar with their frequent brawls and generally being on edge around the other. To her, this is normal. That said, as much as she loves, she keeps her distance because its hard for her to deal with and express that love. She’ll spar and cuddle and smile and then disappear for months making it hard to the others to feel connected to her. She feels most comfortable alone.

Damian’s inferiority and superiority complex are at constant war with each other. He’s learned to see the error of his earlier thinking and realizes that everyone will always see him as an assassin. He hates how much he looks up to his older siblings, their skills and experience how easily they seem to have his father’s love. His pride prevents him from admitting this, opening up to them and instead perpetuates the cycle of insults and fighting.

There is love and connection in the Bat family but also cracks from hundreds of little interactions brought about by stress and pain and misery. When the stars are right and the moon is bright, they can come together and be a family. But it’s never the whole group and never for too long before uncertainty and fear creeps back in. In battle, they are an unstoppable force that works in tandem. Outside of costumes, just themselves, they are broken people awkwardly trying to hold together a facsimile family.

#idk Im in a mood #sometimes I read tooth rotting fluffy batfam fics and I cant help but think 'but this isn't how they are' #I know canon is a dirty word to people but I still enjoy keeping thing generally along those lines #the bats are too messed up been through and done too much to each other to be always laughing and having movie nights etc #make no mistake there is LOVE and they would die for another no hesitation #but the comfort of a normal family? How can you casually sit across from a brother who tried to kill you 3 nights ago? #Bruce didn't mean to raise them that way but the inherent paranoia needed to be a vigilante colors all their interactions #they're controlling and not trusting and workaholics #not exactly conducive to happy family bonding time #they can have fun in bursts spontaneous little things #but overall its strained and uncomfortable and its as interesting as it is sad

[saturdaycrash]

i was talking to my wife abt stuff and she pointed out something that changed my view on this subject forever

for a long time i was highkey bitter about younger people today with their "scenecore" and "nostalgiacore" and "kidcore" and such b/c i was like "you werent there, what are you nostalgic for???? youre all such posers" bc like. i LIVED thru that. i was a kid in the 2000s/2010s and i was Involved in the culture of that time, i know what im talking about when i talk about that stuff. so it genuinely upset me and bothered me when today's kids would be like "i love scenecore :3 lolz XD" when they werent there for when that was like, A Thing. yknow? it felt so disingenuous and fake to me.

HOWEVER. my wife pointed out that its basically the same as like...ppl who were born later being really interested in the 70s or 80s or 90s for example. ppl take interest in cultural periods that they didnt experience and thats completely normal. so why are we treating the 2000s/10s any different

it rly made me think. like man. ive been kinda mean about it i think LOL im so sorry. i had my eyes opened today tho

yall youngin's keep enjoying urselves and make ur sparklefurs and rainbow checkered art pieces, i understand you better now 🙏

#honestly i need to check myself w this stuff more often #i do NOT want to turn into one of those bitter old adults who are always yapping about how much better it was in THEIR day #and how the kids today dont know shit about shit and theyre just complaining abt the kids of today all the time #i feel like ive almost slipped into that mindset a lot and i apologize for that. im going to try to understand younger people better now #like im 27. i am not about to let myself turn into that at my age especially #ive seen that it happens generally around 30 and im gettin there so im def checking myself going forward

[courfee]

i live in constant stress about the unread/unanswered messages i have because they're just So Many and the problem is that replying to them doesn't even solve the problem because i will just get another message in return

#on top of that i feel the same about comments now #like i still adore them so so much #but i always feel silly replying to them isntantly cause i just look desperate them #but now its been so long and i feel so bad about not having replies sooner and i just love comments so much #but i need the people who comment to know that i love them and appreciate them so so much but how do i do that when it takes me 24601 years #to reply to anything im so sorry guys #i promise i love you so much #i need a tag for general ramblings

[carpisuns]

theOrEticalLy . if I opened commissions at some point. would there be. a smackerel of interest . ??

#i have never opened them bc it’s intimidating and I don’t know how to price things!! #but mostly bc i work full time w a good salary so I don’t really need side things to make money #like it feels selfish to suggest that people should pay me to make fanart?? When #a) I already do that for free bc i enjoy it lol #and b) there are so many creators out there who are struggling to make ends meet #and I am privileged enough to generally not have to worry about that #this would be just like extra spending money to fund my scented candle habit DHDJDN #and the clothes I just bought while trying to Discover My Vibe and Finally Be Myself (at age 28 lol) #also tbh it would likely be reinvested in other commissions bc I buy commissions fairly often lol #anyway. idk the idea of commissions always sounded cool but also guilt inducing and scary #it feels weird and silly bc it would make me have to take my art seriously if that makes sense?? #like me saying ‘I think I’m good enough at art that people would buy it from me.’ that feels so bold and like. arrogant or something dhjsjd #coming from me I mean. just a silly little guy who still struggles to draw human limbs properly #ok I’m thinking about how I’d have to make a commission sheet and put a dollar sign on my art and I’m aaaaaaa #and I’d have to execute exactly what people want and what if I can’t!!! #omg ok maybe noT help lol #well im not committing to anything rn im simply. asking a question while the dash is asleep and then running off to bed seeya #i think part of me always wanted to try commissions to see if I could be a Real Artist about it ?? #and potentially end up with like. Portfolio pieces ?? #why I would need an art portfolio I don’t know. I am an editor. What do I think I will be doing here #ppl left comments on my animatic that have been giving me crazy what if thoughts. sit down #don’t look at me #ohhh swirly brain thoughts I need to sleep

[vampiremilfs]

so that “luxury/beige aesthetic in the sims is boring/ugly” girlie turned out to be racist…sorry but im not surprised 💀

#im always gonna be side-eyeing people who are LOUD about their hate for that shit and alpha in general #because 90% of the time that hate got something to do with how black people dress their sims and play. it never fails #you’re entitled to that opinion but iunno. you might need to unpack that! #another thing. as someone who used to be maxis match then maxis mix and is now fully alpha #can we shut the fuck up and leave other people alone. yall need to be fucking kinder for real im sorry #like why is this this shit normalized? yall just jump in here and say the most heinous out of pocket shit about people #who did not a damn thing wrong #and THEN we wonder why simblr got some dumb shit happening every week. yall need to learn how to mind your damn business

[littlepuddingsworld]

Adventurine brain rot? 🤨

-panna cotta

NO because im COMPLETELY okay and SANE and i DONT simp over some PRETTY SLY GAMBLING BOY im mentally HEALTHY and i DON'T INTO RED FLAGS AT ALL im just colorblind to some shades of green and hes ABSOLUTELY green even greenpeace JEALOUS of HIM i just want to CHOMP HIS CHEEKS let me IN or im NOT taking responsibility for my future actions because im going to get UNDER his skin because he's my little mewo meow GUINEA PIG and im completely OKAY and STABLE just let me IN or im going to in MYSELF—

#ৎ୭ — voice from under the bed #ৎ୭ — little puddings #ৎ୭.panna cotta<333 #babyboy didn't come to me very quickly but it's still a 50/50 win so #with my top 3.1 in general and bottom 49 i suppose i can still bear it somehow :/// #but like kakavasha is SUCH an yandere material im SO clearly not OBSESSED!!! #aventurine that lets you relax in the gambling and believe in your luck so that you can then offer to sleep with you for the night??? #a poker game where the bet is either he pays for your dinner or you go for a little 'walk' with him<3 #people like him don't make 'friends' - you're are sure - but you're still letting this holiday romance last a little bit #after all he's even *cute* and somehow resembles a gallant gentleman or a footman (affectionately) who is trying to court you #everyone needs to relax and even if you are sure that he is trying to achieve something using you #you condescendingly allow #you are only a little confused when things start to get out of control and the connection with your comrades disappears for some reason #but he is always ready to help!!! how cute<333 #no wait #since when have your companions been missing for so long and you feel so sleepy? #you *really* should return to your place in real world #how nice that he is concerned about your condition and is ready to wake up with you to help #such a gentleman<3 #... not that it's his fault. It's not for nothing that they say not very good things about the sigonians #someone may say that this is skill issues on your part #but for him it is definitely a 50/50 win without guarantee #it's all or nothing<3 #🍮.yandere

[realness-remade]

i think online discourse is genuinely one of the worst things to ever come out of social media

#i might touch on this more later but #for fucks sake im tired of being surrounded by people who say 'x person is good y person is bad' its so fucking stupid there is no point #and its always made so obvious that their Discourse Opinions are fueled by hate. they will try to hide it but they generalize every single+ #+person they speak to #and i know im doing the same right now its because i fucking hate them!!! All they do is spread hate and i cant stand it #and its not even people dedicated to discourse i more often see normal ass people hating other normal ass people. for the crime of notbeing+ #+like them. all im saying is the rest of the world needs to stoppp trying to put people in the Good Group and the Bad Group. shut the fuckup #i can only stand so much for the love of god. Have fun with your friends dont surround yourself with people you dont like

[vamptastic]

it's just like. okay. when i say i like men in a gay way and women in a lesbian way i don't mean that i think straight attraction is icky or my attraction is somehow more enlightened and progressive. i mean that I've spent the formative years of my sexuality in a place with my gender presentation where people are equally as likely to see me as a man or a woman and often seem to think of me as both, and i cannot separate both my attraction to men or to women from that. ive always felt drawn to butchness because its this concept that your love for the same gender shapes your gender presentation and vice versa, but it's specific to womanhood and attraction to women as a woman in a way i can't entirely relate to. like, in many ways i am both a man and a woman, and i am attracted to both men and woman in a way both shaped by and reflected by that fact.

#there's not really a clear label for that is there #i suppose i don't need one it's just to have that cos you can find similar people #i suppose bisexual as a gender is the closest i can get #like both sexes and also attracted to both sexes and those two things each are linked to and affected by the other #i don't know. i expect my feelings on this will change as i transition and people start to really see me as a man #and not the in-between ive been in since puberty (thank you pcos combined with massive badonkahonkawonkadonks) #it's just sort of frustrating to feel like nobody gets it #like lesbians are into me cos they think im butch #a specific type of man-autistic nerds (affectionate)-seem to just see me as a regular ol woman #and when confronted with the reality that i am not seem to not really care either way about my gender #other trans people are into me and they do generally get it but not always #and gay guys are into me sometimes but i don't really pass consistently enough for it to happen often #like im not actively seeking a partner n i don't both passing day to day cos everyone knows im trans already #n binding is a living hell when you're fat with a fucking. idk the size like E or F probably. cup size. #so mostly ppl approach me thinking im butch but occasionally ppl think im a guy in photos i post and such or #strangers will ask my friends abt me thinking im a guy #but like generally speaking no matter what i don't get to just be A Man. and i don't know if i really want to be! i like being trans #and it sucks because ive missed out entirely on dating in middle/high school like when you find out who you like #simply for being trans. ik most queer ppl end up doing it all in college its just frustrating yk. cos all my cis friends get to do it #realistically speaking im p much just t4t i really only have actually tried to date trans people + trans people are hotter + they get it #which im fine with. i love trans people . just sucks to be excluded sometimes even when u don't want in