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doyouevenshipbr0 · 5 years

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gruvia drabble

author’s note: imma keep it real w/ yall... im a lil drunk rn!!! hope this fic is still good tho lmao! this is pertaining to the plot of the anime rn like how gray and juvia reunited after six months... well we never did get to hear gray’s explanation or apology..... so here it is! enjoy! side note: after actually writing this 1. im not rly drunk anymore, a shame. and 2. all my fics as of recently literally have the same exact format lol!!! cool! great!! we love a boring queen! ok hopefully i can stray from this format in the future but for now! here is ~this~.<3

“Oi, Juvia,” Natsu turned and called out to Juvia. They were finally beginning their long awaited journey back to Magnolia, to reform their guild, after just defeating Avatar. “Did you and Gray wanna’ go back to your cabin and get some of your stuff before you go back?”

“G-g-go back?! Just the two of us?! After all this time?!” Juvia’s face turned a blistering red as she cupped her fiery cheeks in her hands. It had been so long since they were both alone in that house together. What would it be like? How would they act? Would things be different?

“Oh yeah.” Gray calmly chimed in. “There are some things I wanna’ get.” He then turned to Juvia. “We should probably go.”

“O-of course! If Gray-sama insists!” She perked up, suddenly eager to go.

They caught a train back to the village they stayed in and made it there in a fairly short amount of time. Gray looked around their old home with suspicion.There wasn’t a soul to be seen. The town was once so full of life, and bright with spirit. Now the grey clouds above seemed to reflect the dreary village.

“Did something happen?” Gray asked Juvia as they casually walked through the town. “There’s nobody here.” He continued looking, looking for any sign of life.

“Oh.” Juvia remembered, and slouched slightly, partially ashamed. “Everyone kind of, well, left.” She said simply.

“What?” Gray was surprised. “Why?”

“Well...” She paused and took a moment to breathe. “Juvia’s rain sort of... came back, and it was, well, constant.” Her voice was sheepish. “It sort of drove everyone out of the village Juvia supposes.” She forced a smile and a fake lighthearted laugh.

That got Gray’s attention. He stopped looking through the village and snapped his focus onto Juvia. “What do you mean it came back?” He seemed annoyed.

“After Gray-sama left, Juvia’s rain came back.” She shrugged. Once she saw Gray’s look of what seemed like agitation, she began to panic. “It’s not a big deal or anything! Juvia was just being over-dramatic!” She gave another plastic smile, attempting to ease Gray.

“Tch.” Gray looked away from Juvia and turned back to the path to the way to their house, dropping the conversation.

Eventually, they approached their cabin. The wood that the house was built out of was seemingly becoming moldy, or at least dingy. All of the drapes to the windows were now closed, although Gray remembered Juvia always insisted they leave them open. The plants that Juvia adored that were littered around the porch were dead from drowning in her storm.

“Juvia is sorry the house is so out of shape, Gray-sama!” Juvia was embarrassed. She only ever had Gray on her mind, so she never took the time to worry about the appearance of their home once he was gone. Even though that place meant everything to her, she seemed to completely disregard it.

“Stop it.” Gray said, harshly. He didn’t need Juvia to explain herself. It was ridiculous of her. “It doesn’t matter anyway. We’re just here to get our stuff.”

“Right.” Juvia nodded.

Inside, the rooms were dark, and dusty. It was hard for Gray to believe they even lived their at one point, that this was the same home they shared. He remembered Juvia always making a fuss about keeping the place clean, and decorative, and so full of life: some things that this foreign lot was lacking.

Gray was finished packing up first. He had all of his belongings in a duffel bag with a couple other things held in his hand. The door to Juvia’s room was open, so he walked in and leaned on the frame of the doorway.

“Yo.” Juvia flinched to Gray’s low voice, it had been so long since she heard it. She paused her packing and turned around. “I’m all packed up. If you need any help just let me-” Gray paused. As he looked around, Juvia’s room seemed to follow the same format as the rest of the rooms. Dull, gloomy, muted, but something caught his eye.

“What’s this?” He set his belongings down. He walked over to her bedside table towards a vile of red liquid, which was now almost empty.

“Oh, well, nothing really.” Juvia sporadically said with a forced chuckle and quickly was at Gray’s side, hoping to take the bottle before he could get a good look at it.

“Medicine?” He read the label of the bottle. “And it looks like Wendy’s handwriting.” He turned to Juvia.

“Y-yes.” Juvia took a step back and nervously held her hands together. “Wendy-san made that potion for Juvia.” She looked away.

“Why?”

“Juvia was, uh, well, sort of sick.” She remained avoiding eye contact.

“Sick?” Gray’s voice and tone raised. “You were sick? And Wendy couldn’t cure it with just her magic? She had to make a potion?” All of these little things were building up to one big slap in Gray’s face.

“Juvia had a very bad fever. I was sitting outside most of the time, so it was caused by my rain...” She said to the volume of that of a mouse, fidgeting her hands.

“Oh my god.” Gray sunk. He put the bottle back on the table and collapsed onto the bed, holding his head in his hands as his elbows rested on his knees. Just what had he done?

“B-but none of this is Gray-sama’s fault!” She was quick to perk up and defend Gray.

“All of this is my fucking fault!” Gray lifted his head and snapped his gaze to Juvia with sharp, blunt eyes, glistening with a sheen of tears. Juvia dropped her defense, and looked back beneath her.

“If it weren’t for me, this place wouldn’t look like shit, your rain wouldn’t have come back, and you wouldn’t have gotten sick!” He was angry. Juvia said nothing. “Am I wrong?!”

Juvia’s shoulders began to bog, jaggedly, up and down. She had finally broken. She was out of false excuses.

“Why did you leave me, Gray-sama?” She looked back up to him, tears overflowing in her piercing, yet helpless gaze.

Gray’s eyes widened, the sight before him caused his breath to catch itself in his throat.

“I-it was a secret mission.” He looked away, bringing the blank look back to his face. “It was to get more info on Zeref. I had to go, and Erza told me I couldn’t tell or bring anyone.”

Juvia’s tears fell onto her face, and then onto the floor.

“Juvia knows.” Her head was down, once again. She gathered her composure, slightly, for a mere moment. “Juvia understands. Putting and end to Zeref and E.N.D is very important to Gray-sama. This was all for the best.” She sniffled. “So, why..?” She brought her hands up to her eyes, and lost the weak grip she had on herself for that second, and began sobbing into her palms.

“So why is Juvia so hurt?”

Gray said nothing for a brief instant. He looked at her, although she did not return the contact, with shock and sorrow in his eyes. He didn’t know what to think, and he couldn’t place Juvia’s emotions, but he knew what he was feeling.

Remorse, guilt, responsibility, sadness, Gray’s heart was a melting pot of these horrible things. He couldn’t bare to see her in so much pain before, and all because of him. He would not be the reason she shed tears. He refused, especially after all she’d done for him. She was by his side, supporting him through everything. Even after he abandoned her for six months, she still did nothing but be there for him.

He quickly arose from the bed and wrapped his arms around her, with her hands still covering her eyes, causing her breath to stop in surprise for a second.

“It’s alright. I’m sorry.” His words were soft though his face was flinty. He stared at the wall as he brought his hand up to the back of Juvia’s head, firmly bringing her face to his chest, as he rested his chin atop her.

“G-Gray-sama should not have to apologize.” She shook her head as she sobbed into his chest, her voice muffled.

“Like hell I shouldn’t” His voice was even lower. “So cut the crap. You’re allowed to be sad. From some aspects, what I did,” He paused. “What I did to you was a shity thing. Really shitty.” Her cries were much softer as he spoke. He remembered all the scolding Natsu gave him, and manifested it into his words.“So let me say I’m sorry.” He grumbled through his pouted lips as his cheeks were colored pink.

Juvia finally removed her hands from her face and wrapped her arms around Gray, being encased by his warmth. The warmth that she had missed, so very much.

“It’s ok.” She hummed; her mood was already much better just by appreciating being in Gray’s hold. “Juvia is glad Gray-sama is ok.”

She held on even tighter, and in about a minute, her instincts kicked in. Her mind began to soar with thoughts of Gray, and his big, toned arms that were engulfing her. She subconsciously began to sniff him, and exhale with delight.

“Ahh.” She swooned. “Gray-sama still smells just as delicious as he always has.” She snuggled up against him.

“O-kay” Gray announced. “That’s enough of that.” He said, avoiding Juvia’s odd comment. He pulled her away from him and turned back to his things. “We should probably head out. The guild isn’t gonna’ rebuild itself.”

“Aw!” Juvia said, defeated, and dramatically slouched over.

“Don’t sound so disappointed cause’ I stopped you from smelling me! Don’t you realize that ain’t normal!?” He exclaimed.

“Juvia doesn’t care about what’s normal! Juvia hasn’t smelled your sweet scent in six whole months! You can’t blame me!” She defended, reaching her arms out for Gray.

“Quit bein’ creepy and meet me in the living room when you’re done packing.” Gray asserted with an annoyed, but familiar look on his face as he quickly made his way out of her room and shut the door, as Juvia sulked on her bed.

They soon packed all of their belongings and walked through their front door, back into the village where a ray of sun peaked through the dispersing clouds.

“Juvia is so sad to say goodbye to she and Gray-sama’s home.” She frowned with exaggerated sniffles.

“I wouldn’t call this a goodbye.” He said frankly. “It’s more like a ‘see-ya-later.’“ He turned to Juvia with a smirk on his face. Her eyes began to glow, and she settled onto a content smile.

“Yes, Gray-sama.” She looked to the ground with her fulfilled smile.

On their walk to the train, Gray grabbed his arms and gave a small shiver.

“It’s gettin’ kinda’ cold out.” He simply said.

Juvia pondered and looked around a little to see any signs of anyone or anything being cold, which she did not, and felt her own body temperature at a fairly normal level, and for Gray especially, this weather was hardly anything.

“Really? Juvia doesn’t think it’s too co-” She turned back to Gray with confusion and quietly gasped as she saw him wrapping himself with a grey, poorly knitted, homey/cozy looking, seemingly worn in scarf. He did not make eye contact with her, and kept his sharp expression on the road ahead.

She knew that scarf all too well.

“Actually, Juvia is a little chilly.” Attempting to keep her overjoyed reaction in line, she simply wrapped her one arm around Gray’s and with the other she reached out and held his hand, causing him to initially flinch, but he kept his hand intertwined with hers.

They made their way to their true home, Fairy Tail, walking in bliss, putting the bad parts of the past behind them and looking to a hopeful future.

One where Juvia’s rain would never return.

#gruvia #Gray X Juvia #Juvia x Gray #gruvia fanfic #gruvia fanfcition #gruvia drabble #doyouevenshipbr0 #juvia lockser #juvia #fairy tail fanfiction #fairy tail fanfic #fairy tail #ft

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hyunjinspark · 3 years

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STOP IM LITERALLY SOBBING THAT LAST SENTENCE FUCKING BROOKKKKEEEE MEEEE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 dhmu logging off for literally FOREVER TOO HEARTBROKEN AS WELL

alright but am i stupid or am i stupid cause i forgot what nayeons relationship to hyunjin was so when i saw that i got so confused 😅 at first i thought she was friends with chaeyoung and she was gonna help her evil schemes by asking for wooyoungs info and says that yn likes him but oOP GLAD THAT WASNT THE CASE (however the reality also hurt 🥲)

also completelyyyy off topic to this but it was weird reading nayeons messages for a sec too cause im doing a twice dance performance and “im nayeon” lol

how are you today tho? i feel like we havent talked in a bit :((( sorry thats highkey on me, schools been A LOT recently

- 💜

AHHH im so sorry for breaking your heart, but am i really ? 🥰

and sorry, nayeon is coming back after pretty long to the story so that's completely understandable, you're not stupid ! nayeon is one of hyunjin's friends, from childhood, unrelated to their school friend groups. in a previous chapter, he helped her move into her dorm and they don't stay in constant touch but they have known each other all their lives.

and wow you dance that's so amazing ! if you post covers anywhere, i would love to se them, nayeon is one of ym favorite twice members.

#only fools

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sporesgalaxy · 6 years

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would Queen Nothing be a part of the superhero team? or would she be a villain?

IM SO GLAD U ASKED BC HONESTLY IVE BEEN THINKIN ABT THAT TOO

Overall she would be a really weird kinda chaotic wannabe villain that ends up doing more good than harm despite being really annoying. (as she usually is! :p)

The real reason she's a "villain" (that she won't even admit to herself) isn't any true intent to be cruel to others, it's that she just REALLY wants to lose fights. The problem is she's a wimp inside and doesn't actually have it in her to really PICK any fights.

So for the most part she would be a minor annoyance to a superhero team, unless they had someone hotheaded enough to accept an invitation to fight some rando who hasn't even done anything. That would probably end with her getting her ass kicked a bunch of times, to the extreme confusion and hopefully the eventual guilt of the hotheaded hero.

Eventually she would stop randomly asking for fights and embrace being a minor annoyance, and would continually inconvenience the team in small ways that, if you look closely, very strictly don't do anything that would put anyone in real danger.

Her superpower is the ability to have her ass kicked eternally, look scary, and be impossible to get rid of, so she spends a lot of time around the superhero team, because they don't have any choice, and she's having fun. Eventually she probably runs out of annoying things to do and is just casually chilling at HQ with everyone else, probably making snide remarks or asking weird questions. Batman-type characters would definitely hate her, because she would know all KINDS of stuff, and could EASILY share that info with other villains, but she just...doesn't. The one real conflict she might ever cause is refusing NOT to listen in on all of these highly classified superteam secrets, if only to make said Batman-type uncomfortable.

And then if the shit were to hit the fan, she would honestly, definitely fight for Earth. Fighting someone who actually deserves it sounds fun, she knows she's not an effective villain, and goodness knows she has nothing to lose! Plus, (tho she wouldnt say it out loud), she LIKES Earth. She really does. She left for the Void because she disliked herself (and got a little tangled up in the Void's supernaturally obsession-inducing nature), not because she had anything against Earth.

If anyone asked her to join the superteam, she would refuse, despite (assuming all of the above has happened at this point) basically being an honorary member. She has trouble letting go of the option to just duck out into the Void and wait for bad things to blow over, even if she's much too guilty to REALLY use that option most of the time, so she would never formally join a team. But because she's almost impossible to get rid of, and very nosy, she might help them out sometimes, For Fun.

Backtracking to pre-Earth-saving, I can totally see her having an edgy rogue arc in there where she gets fed up with her own ineptitude at being a villain and tries to work with some Actual Villains, so that a hero will actually fight her. She feels awful and guilty the entire time, and probably ends up being talked out of it by a hero and then crying. Basically QN in a comic book setting would be a big weird coward redemption arc.

I can absolutely see her being very gradually convinced to stop pretending to be a villain, and start actually saving other people instead of just using her powers to save herself, once she became close enough friends with a/some hero(es). Unfortunately, spending more time outside of the Void would make her gradually weaker (both because she draws power from the Void and because the Void is like, hey, what the heck, get back in here! You're grounded), and she'd be forced to take long breaks, much to her own dismay at that point.

Man look at all that!!!! She'd be so fun in a comic-style superhero setting!! Thanks for prompting me to think this all through!!!

#queen nothing

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sootonthecarpet · 4 years

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if it's not too much trouble to answer, can I ask what's been the going on with doctor who that's bad? I've seen little bits of it when my parents watch it in the other room but not enough to really get a good sense of it?

heyyy sorry to keep ya waiting on this. i tried to keep this as short as i could, but it’s about five paragraphs long, sorry. it’s not in any way a comprehensive list of problems with the last few seasons, just a quick tour of the moments i shouldve let be my ‘i can’t keep watching after this’ point. i wanted to write it objectively but i got pretty aggro, bc this show that in some part i genuinely adore has been producing unforgivably bigoted content. (it’s kinda a ship of theseus situation, except where the parts of the ship were replaced with worse, shittier, fake-woke parts.) i ask ppl to avoid reblogging this, because i don’t want my words to contribute in any way to online buzz surrounding this show or make anyone want to see it, even if ONLY to hatewatch or criticize.

content warning for misogynoir/antiblackness, racism, bury ur gays, some shit with nazi germany (yeah lol) and just the slightest kiss of antisemitism.

(edit: i seem to be having some problems with the read more cut. it’s there on dash view and when i edit the post, but doesn’t show on some instances of my blog. i can’t fix this but gksfkgls. wanted to at least be overt that i wouldn’t post this kinda long ranty stuff without a cut.)

in the last season where peter capaldi was the doctor, two seasons ago now, he had a new companion, Bill. she was a black lesbian and literally the only reason i started watching doctor who again. i loved her, and i was really glad to see the show moving back towards the more diverse cast of characters that we saw in the late aughts. then the season had a repeated theme of FORCING her to either repress or not feel her emotions. there are two scenes that stand out most to me. in an ep set in like, early 19th century london, she and the doctor are talking to a racist rich white dude who is being super nasty to Bill. the doctor keeps telling her to cool it and not show how angry she is. then HE gets to punch the guy out and knock him to the floor.

this theme of the white man being the only one allowed to get angry was big all season, iirc. then at the end of the season, Bill is turned into a cyberman. they’re usually like. soulless scary automatons, but some characters keep their individuality, which has been explored in a few past seasons, usually leading up to a tragic/heroic death. in Bill’s case, they did this trick with filming where we could see her perspective of herself in some shots–an intensely emotional performance, Bill was completely traumatized and her actress was working her ass off–and in others, just this metal body incapable of expression, scaring people like she was a monster and monotoning these otherwise very emotional statements. it’s an interesting narrative device, but after a whole season of this show putting Bill through all kinds of terrible shit and forcing her not to show her feelings on the matter, it hit me as like. this nauseating exaggeration of how society treats actual black lesbians as monsters and tries to make them bottle up their emotions and especially their justifiable anger. anyway, then Bill died and got to be with her dead girlfriend from her first episode. wow, cool.

idk what made me watch the season after that. i guess i wanted to see the new doctor, and i liked her companions (one was like. a young man with disabling neurological symptoms, tbh even if i’d missed Bill’s season that might have had me back on board). i had plenty of problems with how the season played out, obvs, but nothing was standout horrible to me the way the shit with Bill had been (except maybe the episode that started out like ‘space amazon is a hellhole’ and somehow ended with ‘space amazon was taken advantage of by a broken AI that hurt some people and they didnt fix the infrastructure we explicitly showed harmed their workers but now it’s fine!’ if that sounds weird and heavy handed with an unsatisfying ending, it’s because it was). the new season tho? the OPENING EPISODES OF THE NEW SEASON, THO? it opens with alexa product placement, in an episode about how a fictionalized google was actually run by a black man who had ties to a large number of aliens who had secretly infiltrated our society, altered our dna, and shit like that. so uh, 1. brand war lmao, sellouts etc etc 2. y’all remember those conspiracy theories about jews? and white supremacist beliefs that black people are ruining the world but aren’t smart enough to do it on their own so they must be agents of jewish corruption? HUH. HUH! that’s not even my big problem with the fuckin thing, but it’s FOR SURE a suspicious writing move from a tv show with suuuuch a huge viewership. (and it’s just plain embarrassing for a show with alexa product placement to try to go all scary panopticon tropes specifically @ a google analogue.)

anyway, we run into an old recurring antagonist, the master, a time lord like the doctor. he’s a guy again after having been a woman for a few seasons, and now played by an actor of color. i figure the reasoning at least partly relied on “dude, how fucked up will it be if we force the doctor’s black friend to call a white dude master” but i was immediately afraid it might go to the like…. Righteous White Woman Gets The Better Of Evil Brown Man tropes and oh boy!!!! i tried to be good and give it the benefit of the doubt until i saw something racist but it wasted no time. the doctor got stuck in the past at one point, and met the master, who was currently a military official with the third reich. oh boy. so she asks him why they let him work with them and he explains he’s using a device to psychically disguise himself, they see him as white. (we missed a great chance for him to monologue about how they were willing to bend their morals when they saw how evil he could get or something.) this was awkward enough for me as a viewer, but i wasn’t prepared to go into it, in case there was some tiny shred of nuance somewhere that would make this situation anything but a clusterfuck.

well, the doctor executes a genuinely clever scheme and makes a radio transmission to the brits that she knows won’t reach em, talking about how helpful this officer has been–setting up the master to be falsely outed as a double agent when the nazis intercept it. she tells the master this and then skedaddles, letting him be arrested by his own men. could be a satisfying karmic victory where he presumably gets a military trial and weasels out of his fate, although i don’t like the implications of a white woman punishing a brown man for racism. BUT IT DIDN’T STOP THERE! she disables his psychic filter, causing his men to see his true identity as a man of color–she exposes her oldest frenemy and Basically The Only Time Lord Who’ll Talk To Her to nazi racism when he was ALREADY about to fall into their hands as a prisoner. what could have been a marginally satisfying defeat was instead a kind of emotional horrorshow for me as i had to stop and wonder what kind of hell they’d put him through and why the writers decided that the doctor (who has literally since the show began in like the sixties been set up as an enemy of naziism via allegory and has always been firm in the idea that NOBODY, including literal maneating space monsters, deserves to be treated as less than human) would DO that. IT’S LATER IMPLIED HE ESCAPED FROM A CONCENTRATION CAMP. the narrative DOES NOT allow time for that to sink in before moving on.

i dont have a conclusion 2 this. im just hurt as fuck about it. i hope i gave u the info u were looking for without getting too deep into my personal feelings, but it’s difficult, maybe impossible to be objective about stuff like this.

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stuclyblrs · 7 years

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hi everyone !!!! i’m a rising freshman at college/uni and thinking back on the college apps process i realized that i learned a lot that i would like to share !! i was successful with my college apps so im hoping i can give good advice✨

want to see more of this series? click here for the rest of the posts !!

the basics

tbh i personally loved going on campus tours !!! i think they are a very important aspect of the application process and shouldn’t be overlooked. a campus tour can easily make or break ur college list. additionally, if it wasn’t for campus tours, i would’ve never found the ~perfect~ school 4 me

scheduling - a lot of posts abt tours i’ve seen say to try and go when class is in schedule to get the campus vibe but tbh even if u go during the summer u can still get a good feel of what the school is gonna be like i only did my tours over the summer and u can still get a rly good feel based on the campus itself and the small number of students are there !

info sessions - if an info session is offered before the tour then please try and go to it ! they provide some of the basics about a school and often have a small q&a session with the admissions officer running it

the tour itself - if you can hang around the front of the group. this will allow you to hear better, easily ask questions, and possibly overhear someone else asking a question that you might not of thought of. just trying not to constantly invade your guide’s personal space or bombard them with so many questions that they can’t give anyone else attention

ask for what you want to see - idk whose idea this was but so many tours that i went on did not show a classroom which makes no sense since you are here to learn. if you do not visit a classroom or any other facility you would like to see (for me, i made sure to visit the main libraries), then ask after the tour if you can see one! i rly did not have a problem with this and most people told me where there were open buildings where classrooms could be seen. just remember that you still might not be able to visit certain locations as most university buildings only allow students to enter (it never hurts to ask)

with this being said, pay attention on tours for classrooms. while the tour might not stop in one, there’s a good chance you could walk by one so peak through the windows (if their isnt a class in session there - dont be creepy) so you can get a feel for what they look like.

why you should go - as long as time/money permit, then you should visit every college you can. like i already mentioned (and will explain later in this post), a campus tour can help decide if a school is truly right for you. going on a campus tour also shows demonstrated interest in school which can only be a positive when it comes to applying. the school will have on record that you visited there and then you automatically end up on their mailing lists (if you can’t visit make sure u sign up for the mailing list for this same reason). even if u have unofficially gone to a school hundreds of times do a campus tour

note taking

i didn’t actually see a whole lot of other students taking notes but i felt it was important in remembering details about the school and to gather information (if needed) for the why X school essay. i had a small notebook that i would write the important things from the info sessions, the feel/look of the campus itself, the vibe other students gave, the way the dorms/classrooms/cafeteria/library looked, answers to any questions i asked, or whatever else i felt was important. just remember to give your tour guide respect and pay attention to them more than your notebook

as you can see i took note taking very seriously

asking questions

this is super important as it’s the best time to understand what a school is like from an actual student. while they are there to sell u a school, they’re still gonna be more honest then info pamphlets

questions to ask

what made u choose X school among others?

this question is so !!! important !!!! i think this can help you grasp what kind of student fits w/ a particular school. if you end up with a tour guide who gives an insightful response, it can help reveal the values of both the school and the students. if u are like me and didnt have any top picks in mind beforehand or didnt rly know what you want in a school this can be helpful in understanding why people have their top choices and why they feel attachment to a certain school. additionally, if you are torn between two (or more!) schools when it comes to decision time, this can help u determine which school will be a better fit.

however, in my experience, many students tend to respond to this “i just had the right feeling when i visited the school” or some variation of this so you might not always get the best answer but try to get them to elaborate a bit more. for example, one of my tour guides was from london so i asked her why she wanted to go to school in america and what made her choose this school over other american colleges. while it’s not directly asking why X school i was able to get a more detailed answer to this question !

what are some unique traditions that X school has?

this ties into the previous question as it involves reasons for selecting one school over another but the main reason to ask this is for the “why X school” essay (i’ll talk about how to do these in a later post). not every school will have this extra essay, but many do so it’s important to be prepared ! this will give you content that’s more in depth and shows that you did research on the school

what’s the student body like?

are they super involved in service/volunteering? do sports function as the main social events? are people quiet and chill or major partiers?

while i talked about this in my post about researching schools, now is the best time to understand the ~vibe~ a school as. you should also observe other students around you and see what they are doing. you don’t need to ask the specific questions/similar ones that i listed, but make sure you get a general idea ! (unless of course you want to ask specifically about these things)

specific programs for your major

if you know what you would like to study, then ask questions about their specific program. (i did not know what i wanted to study, so i didnt ask these kinds of questions and unfortunately can’t offer much advice on how to ask)

ask about your tour guide’s major

if your major is not their major, they might not be able to provide much information outside of the general facts about it but ask about their major(s) ! i’m sure they’ll be glad to talk about what they are studying and it can give you a feel how the academics work in general about the school (especially if your major is within the same college/school @ the university b/c policies and whatnot will be very similar.)

@studywithanu has a guide on asking questions on campus tours written from their perpsective as a tour guide please check it out !

questions to NOT ask i can’t speak for tour guides on what they find annoying and what they don’t but just on the few campus tours that i went on i heard so much of the same bullshit questions (not trying to be harsh but some of it got to me). who knows, maybe some of these questions are only bad in my opinion but honestly i felt people could be using their time to ask better questions

what’s the difference between early action/early decision?

pal not to be rude but if u dont know this at this point then one props to u for not being completely obsessed with the college apps process as i was and two u have access to google.....it’s right there

but in seriousness, why waste your time on a generic question that can be easily found out and isn’t specific to the school you’re visiting ?? the purpose of the tour is to learn about one school not the application terminology. it amazed me how many different people i heard ask this

in case if u don’t know what the difference is i’m gonna tell u right here cause im feeling nice !

early decision - this is binding folks ! only apply ED if ur sure that your school is ur number one choice and you can’t picture yourself anywhere else and you’ll die if you dont go here. also u need to be able to afford it. the only way u can be let go of ur agreement is if the financial aid offered to you is too low (like way too low) and the cost will prevent you from attending college that’s it ! you can’t change ur mind b/c you think you like somewhere else better or somewhere else gave u larger scholarship. additionally, you submit your application (often november) earlier and find out about ur admissions status earlier (often december). note: some schools have ED II which basically is still ED, but you submit ur application at the same time as regular decision and you hear back earlier (normally february)

early action - non-binding ! apply to as many schools EA if you want. like ED, the application process is completed earlier and you are notified of ur status earlier too. unlike ED, you are not bound to any EA school and can wait to accept or decline until their deadline (may 1st is the majority for most universities). sometimes, a school’s EA might have a greater acceptance rate due the lower amount of students but the competition might be stronger so keep that in mind ! note: there are some schools w/ restrictive EA meaning you can only apply to that school EA and no others (you are not bound to admissions tho) this is most common in the ivies and generally you won’t come across it much.

what’s the average gpa/sat/act scores or what’s the acceptance rate?

again, why waste ur time on facts that can be easily googled and were most likely presented to you in the information session

this will make you seem uninformed and ill-prepared, which we don’t want. ask the best questions you possibly can !

how did you get in/what did u do in hs/what were ur grades

while i (thank god) never encountered this on a tour, i do know people can be very upfront with asking other studyblrs/appblrs these questions - maybe it’s just due to the anonymous feature on here but sometimes people are quite rude about asking these kind of questions

while i do not think asking someone with a study/appblr what their activities in high school is bad (as we are here to discuss these kind of things), the question “how did you get in to X school” needs to stop getting asked in general b/c guess what - none of us know which little detail of our applications made the admissions officer know you’d be the perfect fit for the school

instead try asking them about their current activities (gives you an insight on how the students are involved) and if they find the academics to be just the right level of challenging

anything that can be easily found on a school’s website

i know im basically repeating myself but if it can be found on the first few pages under the admissions section online or in any of their info pamphlets, then don’t ask it. it’s a waste of time - you want this tour to allow you to make an informed decision on if you should apply to this school. if you only go to learn stuff that you know is online (even if u dont know it off the top of ur head or haven’t looked it up yet) then what was the point of visiting at all ?

however, if you need more clarification about anything posted online (such as deadlines !) then ask away

is it right for me?

okay you’ve done all your research, visited all the schools on your list. now it’s time to ask are these schools right for me? should i apply here? there isn’t a right or wrong answer only you can determine if you should apply. since this is a bit more difficult to write clear-cut advice for here’s some examples from my personal experience

in case if you haven’t read my previous posts, the only factor i knew that i wanted out of a school was for it to be located in a big city, so all the schools i visited/applied to were in some major cities in the northeast. there was one school that i had high hopes for since it was located in the city but still had a traditional campus (hard factor to find in cities). however, upon traveling to this college, i discovered it’s on the outskirts of the city and a bit too far for my liking (i felt that if i attended i wouldn’t leave and explore the city daily, only on certain occasions if i felt like going out). additionally, i did not like the vibe the admissions officer that hosted the info session gave off. these two things were enough for me to say this is not the school for me, so after the info session my mom and i left and skipped the tour

when it came to the school that i will be attending, i only knew that it was my number one choice because of the campus tour. it was the last school i visited and while i had liked most of the schools i visited, i knew none of them were necessarily the “one” for me. they were all nice but my general reaction was just kind of okay i’ll still apply here onto the next school.... i hate that i can’t give a proper explanation as /why/ it was the right school (i always hated when my tour guides would say they picked their school based on a feeling), but yes i did have that feeling where i knew this was it. i could tell the students values aligned with mine, it was right in the city, it has an A+ study abroad program, strong academics, and more that i can’t put into words. if this doesn’t happen to you, do not be alarmed (tbh im surprised it happened to me) you don’t need to find the one for you to love your school. in fact, not having a dream school might be better b/c you can focus on your options logically and not get stuck on one school

a side note to this is my aunt always thought this one school was her top choice and that she had to go there but when she finally got a chance to visit, she absolutely hated it and later found a university that she loved (she still goes to football games regularly) don’t underestimate the campus tour !

can’t visit a school?

you still have several options to use even if you can’t visit somewhere (or even if u can these are still helpful)

virtual campus tours

youvisit - super neat campus simulation and some schools even have a virtual tour guide

campustours - also includes interactive maps

youtube channels

look for day in life vids, dorm tours, or any other content posted by students at the school + they’re gonna be more honest since it isn’t their job to sell u the school

school’s website/youtube

check the school website/youtube channel and see if they have maps or any kind of virtual tour

wow this was very lengthy so i rly hope this helps everyone ! if you have any other questions please feel free to send me an ask! my next post will cover basics to the common app so check back soon !

#appblr #studyblr #appblr18 #college applications #appblr 2018 #appse #this is so long i died making this #adkjcsjkd im prolly posting this too late for co '18 oh well #mine

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survivormontenegro · 5 years

Text

Episode 8: “#StayLowAndGoGoGo” - Tom

I MADE IT WOOOOOOOO MILESTONE NUMBER 2

WE MERGED. THANK THE LORD, THE STARS AND EVERYTHING ABOVEEEE.

okay and thoughts. so evan went byebye, which was what needed to happen, super sweet, but him leaking stuff was really a mess. Merge is so exciting, I already love Caeleb, Jones & Mo, three legends already yay!

IM ALSO BACK WITH BENJ MY KING! I HAVE MISSED HIM SO MUCH.

MERGE I AM SCREAMING!!!

I am sorry Evan, we did 100% throw this challenge but hey ajdjdjf even tho we threw this challenge it was a freaking 5-4 points LOL thank god I didn’t do more than just put Marcus Lehman.

Let’s go merge, thank god I didn’t turned into pre merge flop!!

MERGE!!!!!!

IM REUNITED WITH ALI!!!!!!!! KING!!!!!!!!! im so excited omg so we had a HUGE catch up told each other all the tea of each others tribes

He suspected I was the flipper but doesn't care LOL so yay!!! Ugh I have missed him its so great to have him back as someone I can fully trust and rant to about everything! I also had Jones queen to help get me thru the tribe, just wish she replied more lol! ily guacamole . mitch also great, so glad he survived the budva decimation that I caused oops

I don't think anyone suspects me n ali are close, and everyone thinks Julia/ian/Jason are a trio and either ian or Jason have the idol LMAO this is so funny. I was even on call w the tribe and we were discussing it im thinking lolllll ik ali has it and no one else rlly does wowow

we think alex has durmitor idol bc . apparently it was not found pre swap, caeleb claims he made the end but it was gone, jones and mo don't seem active enough to guess

reunited w ian king aswell hes great, gonna meet some new ones like jules aka almia queen and tom the Australian he was cool on the call so its good ik everyone so far on this tribe except 2 ppl really, while 8 people on the tribe have not meet 4 others so I hope im connected well?

I honestly don't know what will happen from here . like is it og vs og tribe? swapped tribes? something new? IDK! All ik is my top 3 allies are ali jones mitch and I want to try get us far !! but idk how to do that so...… stay tuned

Still can’t get over that I made merge AHHHH

But wait...

THIS IS A CONSPIRACY THEORY BUT THE FREAKING COLOR OF THE MEEGE TRIBE IS SIMILAR TO MEEGE IN SWITZERLAND???! AND THE TWO STARTING TRIBES WERE LITERALLY ALMOST THE SAME COLOR. THIS WILL NOT END LIKE SWITZERLAND, IF IT DOES I AM GONNA CRY.

Anyway I got in touch with Mitch and Benj. I talked with Mitch first then I learned it was Benj who flipped during the Noah vote. I mean I honestly thought it was Mitch ahsjdjd but I guess the talk I had with Benj about rocks/ties back then was an omen. Anyway Mitch tells me he forgives Benj so I guess that’s something? Julia confirms to me that Mitch is saying the same thing to her so ok. I then chatted with Benj and he did tell me he was the one who flipped because he was not close enough with Noah to go to rocks for him which is understandable but I’m still weary on Benj.

Tom then tells me Mo and Caeleb are grilling him for JJ and Evan’s demise. Right now Tom feels that Mo/Caeleb/Alex/Jones are a thing and that they’re just using Benj. That’s kinda a good info to use to get benj on our side??

Anyways I don’t know if this is alarming or what but on the tribe call Tom told Mitch and Benj he knew about the Budva idol being found because Julia told JJ and then told everybody. I think Mitch and Benj were shocked that Tom knows? Idk I maybe paranoid but let’s see

Right now me, Julia, Jason and Ali are trying to hide the fact from Benj and Mitch that we made sort of a pact with Tom and Jules to vote together come merge. I trust Tom to know that I think he will vote with us but idk about Jules. Tho Julia and Jason seem to trust her so I hope she sticks with us!!

youtube

Last minute additions -

I got a vote cover from the choosing thing!! Drew didn’t really tell me what it did but if I had to guess what it was I’d say it’d be like,, a dark week thing where votes won’t be revealed? Who knows tbfh

SO I KNOW I'M TERRIBLE WITH WRITING CONFESSIONALS, but this is my first Survivor game, I'm not used to using Skype and it's weird having to type it to a whole other window just to get a confessional but WHATEVER ILL TRY TO DO AT LEAST ONE A DAY. Even if it's just like about random shit! Even it's just an astrology lesson! Anyways JJ, I mean, Alex is coming at me saying he thinks it's 6v6 now and i'm like......who's gonna tell him. BECAUSE EVEN IF IT'S ME NOT DOWN FOR OG DURMITOR ( i love them but game wise idk if i can hang with them ) I DAMN WELL KNOW other people might not be down for that. I'm just tired of the assumptions though I know Alex means well I'm just TIRED ugh he's a pisces moon too so he'll sense it from me so I better act NOT ANNOYED but I can't help it UGH. Did I miss the people from OG Durmitor? YES! Did I miss the gameplay and none of them calling out JJ on his shit and being surprised that JJ got out for being a crackhead? NO. NOT AT ALL.

okay so merge and I have lots of thoughts, i am gonna do it person by person so i cover it all ahh.

Alex C: Okay he lowkey terrifies me ahh. Like he is quite gamey, and both Mitch & Jules have said he is kinda leadery and potentially a bit pushy? I see him as an early merge boot (ideally), because I think he'll get a lot of attention on himself? He is fun though, and I like talking to him - we will see, maybe if idk Jones/Mo/Caeleb goes he will be a more workable ally from an underdog spot?

Ali: trash, disgusting, send him home, I never want to see that mess...

Benj: a KING, I have missed Benj so MUCH. He is such a, SUCH A KING, i love him, I'm so happy we are back together. I think he could be a great duo for me, since us two being close can be kept quite lowkey ha! We will figure it out, but he is going NOWHERE on my watch

Caeleb: Okay he is like... one of the only other newbies left in the game, and is potentially quite lowkey, so I'd like him to stick around for a while I think ahh! He seems super sweet, and could be someone to go to the end with if my faves go bye bye.

Ian: I've said it since round two, and I will continue to say it. Ian is the biggest threat in the game, I've been knew and I'm not dropping it. I will not allow him to go far, like he is super nice, but also... we are not allowing a threat like Ian to walk to the end.

Jason: Similar to Ian, I'm really feeling duo vibes with him and Ian, maybe even a trio with Julia I'm not sure? He scares me less than Ian, and I'd probs want Ian out first versus Ian? He still is also a king tho, even though I always get vibes that he doesn't like me eeeek

Jones: A legend! I can tell already, I fully get legendary vibes from her. But like... it makes me upsetti spaghetti that I really don't think I can let her get too far, like she... is someone I could see as a season winner, so she might need to go sooner rather than later, although getting her out might be easier said than done tbh

Jules: Okay an icon. Jules we LOVE in this house. I literally stan Jules with my 100% full heart, they know ALL and on my watch? they go NOWHERE. my clout is being used to keep an eye on Jules, even tho they are a much better player than me, and they will be able to watch their own back and go super far

Julia: Witch queen. I want her to go really far too tbh, like I love her and am so happy we have actually been able to work together this season. She told me about her self-vote thing she got from the merge feast, which is a big trust display. I think if I can get her woke about Ian/Jason, she could be a big ally and super important about my game long term. I think if we can get Alex C out particularly (since apparently they have history), then maybe she will be more willing to FINALLY make a move on them.

Mitch: I'm always sketched out by him KASDFA. Like I think he would work with me for sure, but I also like... don't know sometimes, like... he knows I was gonna vote him out premerge, can that go away? I think he could be a good ally moving forwards though , we will have to see.

Mo: MY SON. I MISS HIM. I'M SO HAPPY HE DOESN'T HATE, I THOUGHT HE DID. Its super exciting and like I said before, he is doing super good this season and I'm super proud of him. I wanna go far with him, but I think not being on a tribe with him till merge could be an obstacle to that ahh :(

Tom: Tom is a mega-cracked king. Like he is SO entertaining, and on a personal level I really vibe with him. I will not do him dirty, and I wanna go to the end of this game with him. We will see what happens, would love to be a juror voting for him at the end.

So overall final thoughts. I have a dream F4 alliance of 'The Flippers and the Flop' aka me, Tom, Jules & Benj, since those three flipped on their original tribe and I'm a flop. So I want that as F4, Julia at F5 (but maybe further, I love her too), and then for the rest:

6th: Mo 7th: Caeleb 8th: Mitch 9th: Jones 10th: Jason 11th: Ian 12th: Alex C.

We will see and figure it out and be flexible. Its gonna be a mess, but we will see. I just wanna make confirmed jury, then I just wanna play a bomb game, like finalist-schminalist, i just wanna end the season and my game not being an actual joke KASDFLAS.

hi i just wanted an idol

Okay so i dont know like when the last time i did one of these was but lets just start at last tribal council; I am lowkey so glad that evan is gone and we didnt try anything too fancy he really would've made merge that bit messier. But uhm also why the heck did he have to vote me grrr i wanted to try to not get any votes for a really long time but oh well cant have everything good happen in life.

M E R G E!!!!!!!! Yesssss finally merge has happened the playing field is even and i am ready to rumble. Bit nervous to see where abouts i stand in the tribe because i didnt feel very included in the original durmitor tribe and there are two people i havent met in benj and mitch.

Okay so like wtf is going on right now, sure say hello and all that shit but why is Mo, Alex and Caeleb like proper interviewing me, who do you think you are ELLEN? No youre not please stop investigating on what happened between jj and evan vote offs like i do not owe y'all anything..... i was probably going next if we didnt have that first swap! I am more than happy to tell them like what happened just it will be altered in favour of myself and they wont get the full indepth explanation.

Sorry I don’t have a vid confessional today laid ease

But um ya I think I’m getting TARGETTEEEEEEEEED or at least someone within the durmitor dominators group is. WHich is SKETCHY!! Idk it just feels really obvious since that core group of 4 literally,,, tag teamed all 4 of us first ,,, hello??? Mam?? I get we just met like 2 days ago but you could be a lil more discreet ab everything 😤

But ik we can’t just assume based on that,, If we’re just going by that logic then their hitlist is Alex, Caeleb, myself, then Mo. but idt it could be that,,, concrete?? They could just be playing us like Noah/Michael/Mitch TRIED to do before,, but we got them so ya 🥰 anyways,,

If we can somehow get a plan out of them or at least a name then we’ll be ok,,, that way we’ll at least know what’s going on for SOME PART. Mitch and julia seem kiiiind if close? So hopefully she’ll tell him some shit and come back to me ab it - if I have to play the idol then,,,, I guess,,, I will,,, but I don’t want to. Like let me save it for when IM in trouble at least sksksk who knows,, maybe I AM in trouble and I’m just a crackhead 🤷🏻‍♀️

But ya that’s my rant I’ll be back soon laid ease mwah

Okau so like woo! i won the first immunity of the season how bloody exciting! I honestly was confident going into the challenge however i didnt know whether or not i was going to win. I love the fact that i got shot 0 times so i literally could've gone asleep and potentially still won lol. But at this point my mission of staying low and go go go'ing has to be intact i cannot seem like a big threat in this game it doesnt get me far. So im telling everyone that im surprised and that it was really just based on luck and based on nothing so my target does not grow! So glad to have immunity in this game honestly first merge boot probably wasnt going to be BUT i know this round can get fucking messy so anything could've changed #StayLowAndGoGoGo

okay this is a grr grr angry confessional. WHY IS EVERYONE BEING DUMB AND JUST BEING ATTACHED TO TRIBE LINES. Like I messaged Jones, Mo and Alex about it yesterday, and Jones my meme queen gave like a good response, but Mo particularly I was like... wut?

Like Mo is my org son from all the way back in Azores, so I always have his back... but like... when someone messages you about being uncomfortable with tribe lines and not wanting to stick to them, giving the HEAVIEST HINT POSSIBLE that I'm not attached to like Ian and Jason, your response should not be 'I'm just accepting my fate'... Like that is such a red flag to me, no player should just... be resigned to stuff? Like Mo PLEATHE.

In other other news, we love Jules still. Tom is being weird recently, I think he doesn't trust me anymore, so I think my dream at the moment is a F3 of Jules and Benj, Tom 4th and Julia 5th? Mitch terrifies me (and he knows I shot him, which caused even more distrust), Alex is super nice but is like... evidently not trusting of me, Mo is my son but I wanna SHAKE HIM, Jones is my fave I love her already, really like Caeleb too he is so nice.

I'm just frustrated, I feel like.. people aren't willing to do enough and its making me frustrated I just wanna scream. Like at this point, I expect to go midjury, like 9th, and I'm thinking who I'd vote. I would vote Jules, because they are always on the ball and their read is unmatched, I'd vote Ian because he has playing smart since round one, I'd vote Benj because he is one of the few that has his head screwed up about not blindly sticking to tribe lines.

Of the rest? I'd like to vote for Tom/Jones, but would probs need to see more gamey game from both. I could respect Mitch's story to get to the end, but don't necessarily see myself voting him. I could vote Julia or Jason. The one who is currently least likely to get my vote is probably Mo, I am just... frustrated with him. Like he could do SO GOOD, I just wanna give his head a proper wobble, like.... LISTEN TO ME. I am telling you I would flip just READ KSALDFA.

I ranked who I'd vote for in FTC if I was a juror so far and its currently:

Jules > Ian > Benj > Mitch > Julia > Tom > Jason > Jones > Alex C. > Caeleb > Mo

And the order in which I trust people is:

Jules/Benj > Julia > Tom > Ian > Jason > Caeleb > Jones > Mo > Alex C. > Mitch

I have thoughts. I know its been a hot sec since I have sent one in but I have been just busyyy. So this one might be long and it'll have all my thoughts post-merge.

My first thought: Being reconnected with old tribemate (Jules and Tom). I love Jules. She's so kind and wonderful, might be hard to reach occasionally but when she messages its always full and heartfelt. I think that can go a long way in this game as she's fun to talk to and makes you feel like she's with you. So that also mean shes very dangerous of course. Tom is less so fun. He's kinda sarcastic kinda hard to read kinda edgy. He always acts like he's a little too busy for things. But he is fun and he has fed me a lot of information about Budva post swap, so thank him for that. BUT I'm like lowkey really annoyed with him. Losing that last challenge on purpose was dumb as hell. I know Evan is deceitful and hard to work with, but like hell keep that in your head and get him off as an easy vote right after merge. Because If they hadn't lost and instead we had gone to tribal (Durmitor), then we hopefully would've lost Mitch, secured the dynamic as 7 OG Durmitor vs. the 5 OG Budva, and it would have been much harder for Tom and Jules to chose the Budva members over the numbers. Obviously this works best for me and OG Durmitor but that just means that I don't know what Tom and Jules are thinking and overall that means I can't really trust them.

Second thought: That challenge was actually really fun. It put this merge into perspective and CLEARLY showed where people are at right now. The fact that OG Budva was so organized in their slaughter and got out Alex like hella fast and then me before we got out any of them was so showing. They are tight and they will remain to be tight. The fact that they were able to be so coordinated seems scary as well. AS it might mean that Tom or Jules or even Mitch or Benj is actually working with them to make sure we didn't win that immunity. Plus Tom won it and that is scary to me because I already was wary about trusting him in the first place. Putting thought one and two together makes me wary overall, because that means that together Tom and Jules and Mitch and Benj might be choosing to work with old Budva (I mean Tom and Jules don't have any inhibitions about voting out old tribemembers so) and old Durmitor might just be screwed.

Third thought: Annoyed that I was shot and destroyed second. I thought I was making a good impression with everyone. Maybe its not a good indication but also sad face.

Fourth thought: New tribe members! I love them all to an extent. Ali seems to be fun to talk to and likes chatting back and forth. But also he did say he was surprised I was out so early and since I know that Alex didn't shoot Julia then he was definitely shooting me. So I don't think I trust that all too much and he might be too sneaky. Jason seems nice. Not much to say our conversation has been pleasant but only so. The same with Ian tbh. They seem cool but thats it. Julia is fun and her background makes her seem like a total bad ass and a really cool lady, but she's been soooo hella dismissive of me. I don't like the way she's playing the game. I think she's putting on an act and playing a character to throw people off. I heard she was like sad or crying(?) that someone shot her and Tom confronted me about it. And sure I shot her but like hell thats the game. I'm 90 percent sure she was shooting me. I'm annoyed, and people seem to love her which just makes me think she's being dismissive to me because she thinks I won't be around too much longer and she doesn't have to put in the effort. And that's dumb, like if I do go I really hope this is the start of the Jury because I will have something spicy to say to her in the event she makes it to Final Tribal. Or maybe things will change and I will learn to really like her and stuff.

Fifth Thought: Game plan for tomorrow. My strategy going forward is simply to be not targeted tomorrow. That is truly the crux of it, because at this point I think I might get votes. I know that apparently I have a habit of getting votes in a new tribe (David and then Noah) so honestly I can see it happening, especially if they are worried about Alex having an idol and they got him out of the challenge first just to vote me. But if I can survive then I think I can go a little farther. The power struggle right now is 3 groups of 4 battling. There's the total Budva members, the total Durmitor members, and then the middle ground (Jules, Tom, Benj, and Mitch). I asked Tom who was more important the original tribes or the new ones and he said he wants it to be old but most likely will be new which basically means that he will vote with Budva. So in the event I survive with numbers I'll ride that until I need Alex (and his idol that I'm prettttty sure that he has but I can't be sure) out and will try to rally that we need him to be gone. If I survive but I'm not on the side of the numbers I wanna create a good bond with Ali and Jules as were all newbies and work that until we can start eating Budva from the inside. I'll see though DKSDSKDSK. I don't think it would be wise to concrete that before this first vote because their reasons for voting off JJ and Evan was apparently that they were making alliances with everyone. I don't want them to see me that way.

Sixth Thought: Okay another Idol Bridge BIG OOF. Those are hard as hell, and I am so confident that both tribe idols are gone which means there might be 3 idols out there pretty soon which is scary as hell. Durmitor Dominators are hoping to work together to get it and maybe we can actually use that together rather than having it hidden like this time. (Which I really think that Alex has it but whatev). If I'm idoled out imma be so sad but like also okay thats an okay way to go.

Have fun with this. Feel free to chop it up into mini confessionals or use it in its entirety. Up to you! Love ya hosts ur beautiful

okay a gamey and a dumb update.

julia proper wants to flip on ian and jason which iconic... its truly time. I wasn't necessarily going to vote them out first, but if that's what is gonna happen, that is what's gonna happen.

in a memey update, JJ just got cast in another game and it reminded me of a JJ-ism I never confessed about. JJ was on call and showing me... a pet in a glass box, but i didn't know what the pet was or what it was supposed to be, because I couldn't see it. but he was like wow isn't it cute, so i fully called a stick which was the only thing i could see, cute. a STICK.

anyway so like.... back to game. i think the merge boot will be ian or jason which dun dun dun! its probs overdue and will happen, or it'll be me! we will see anyway

why am i drinking white wine with julia on call at 3am, we are truly the wine mum duo drinking our way till the end

I think I'm in the middle of everything atm, which is a weird place for me to be. I'm not in the center, I'm not looking from the outside in, I'm not really a part of anything major or in any alliances and it's an odd feeling. I know I need to do something to secure myself in something but everything in this game just feels up in the air, it's odd. I don't know if it's just how Survivor is, but it's a very strange feeling not having a proper grasp on what's going on with EVERYONE. I have ideas but not a lot of real confirmation for much besides Jason/Ian, Mo/Jones, etc. Anyways. IDK WHAT ELSE TO SAY OKAY I'm boring AF this game

Ok so for starters the immunity challenge ended after 2 hours of its posting adhgfjgs Tom won so big woo for him.

The Budva baes agreed to target Alex/Mo/Caeleb/Jones in this challenge and we got Mitch, Tom and Jules to work with us. Well kinda because the four (Me, Ali, Julia and Jason) of us were the ones who did most of the shooting to eliminate the Durmitor four and we just like went back and forth eliminating one another. I was the first to die in my group so big yikes!! I don't know if that's an omen idk but I do know that I was killed by grandma jones. So I killed grandma too oops!

Anyway, fast forward to today. I got an idol clue from the Hamburger but idk if this will help me get the idol hfjhsgf. So I shared it to Budva Baes and with Tom. Who knows we might get it idk.

In other news, on call Jules flipped because of an earthquake jgfjshgf

A tribe call happened that had almost everyone except Jones and Benj join which lasted about like 3-4 hours?? Anyway, me, julia, jules, jason, ali, mitch and alex played cards against humanity so that was fun!

After Alex and Jules left the call, the five of us who remained then proceeded to plan for the vote. As of now I think we're gonna throw our votes towards Caeleb because apparently he doesn't talk to them that much? I do talk with Caeleb but nothing game related so I guess I'm on board with that. We're not gonna target Alex rn because Julia mentioned that Alex might wanna work with budva people? or that maybe just a ploy, either way Julia and Mitch thinks Alex has the durmitor idol so that's something to be weary.

If I had my way I want to target Jones because during the call, Mitch and Julia expressed how they want her to stay and how they insta love her and to me that's kinda dangerous. But rn I don't think the numbers are their for me to go after Jones. Another hot topic on the call we had was Benj. I'm really becoming more weary of Benj because umm idk even tho we talk I feel like he's hiding something.

So far, the plan is for Julia to approach Jules about voting Caeleb. Jules is important for this vote because she's like in the middle rn and we need numbers. Also ghasgdd julia got a freaking auto-vote on herself for this incoming tribal council so we are screwed if they vote for Julia. Tom is also important but me and Jason have an alliance with him that Ali and Julia are not aware of so he's good hopefully.

Anyways as of now, the plan is Caeleb (which kinda sucks because I kinda like him) but who knows whats gonna happen. Just hope things go in my favor for this vote.

Apparently I’m a secondary target for the vote, but I’m like oddly at peace? Maybe it’s because I’m super tired but being anxious is never fun so I’m relieved that I’m so calm.

This tribal is so freakin messy. Literally everybody be crackheads and I am a freakin crackhead. I knew Mitch was gonna do me in again, I am sad that JJ blew up chances with Tom working with us, and I can't trust Jules because she's right in the middle. I think Benj is still with us. But gosh they'll vote me tonight and I wannnnna survive. If only I could like strongarm whoever has this freakin idol into playing it for me.

Anyways, I love Grandma's boys. They're all sweet and nice and wonderful and I want us to get this to work out. I hope Alex can work his magic, but also I hate that this has turned me into someone who is just riding the coattails at this point. Maybe I need to do some FREAKIN crackheadidness but hell we'll freakin see.

ALSO

Jones has the IDOL OOOOOOOOOO. I think she might play it for me if things are looking bad. Literally my grandma is the most amazing I love her. Things be crazy and cracked here in Podgorica but the spice is nice.

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okay this confessional is a call out post, to basically the entire cast except for jules and benj. like its negative and mean, so I'm gonna scream, and then write some actually strategy and smart stuff KLDSAFAS.

Julia. I LOVE YOU WITH MY WHOLE HEART, but. You have got us into such a pickle and are playing the middle too aggressively, dragging me kicking and screaming with you. Why would you make a Budva chat yesterday, to flip on it TODAY, that is such, SUCH a quick turn around

Alex. You are so sweet, and I really enjoyed the call yesterday, but you are already terrifying as an ally and are giving off JJ game vibes. This 'alliance' I'm in, of Jules/Julia/Me/Alex/Mo/Jones... terrifies me, WHY IS NOBODY TALKING. And then I love how Alex was like 'lets vote out someone from each side across two rounds' and then like... suggests Jason, a) one name b) one vote. And then it's like... he goes okay maybe Mitch the following round? Another OG Budva? I have to laugh, I have to LAUGH, this alliance is so fake askdlfaf. I love everyone in this alliance as people, but as allies I'm not feeling it.

Jones. You are a legend, and naming my plants was so fun, but you go so crickets its really scary, like it just looks SO sus. I wish you were more open gamey, I really wanna work with you grrrr.

Mo. Mo is my son, and I love him, but oh. my. god. is he frustrating to play with JLSAKDFAF. I have never played with someone who is so passive and who literally... does not say anything. Like on calls, he is so fun because he is the sweetest and a great guy, but his only comments and contributions have been 'I think I am going' and 'I have accepted my fate'. mo, MO, you can't be doing this and pulling these shenanigans, you are so likable just... give it a go and play the game HNNNGH.

okay that was mean and negative but I fully needed to scream. To clarify my situation, last night Julia made a chat of all the Budvas - Benj after the call, and we settled on voting Caeleb? But Julia wants to flip, and formed this group with Alex of them two, me, Jones, Jules & Mo. Like Julia, I get playing the middle, but this is playing. the. middle. I didn't want to be in such a middle position I hate this so much SKADLFASF.

It's really frustrating. I want Ian/Jason/Alex out because they all terrify me on a game level. But Julia has put us in the middle in a way that we are gonna have NO NUMBERS TO MAKE A MOVE UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Like I just wish she ASKED me before she made a group with Alex that I got dragged into.

I feel like me and Jules have to just... get in with Mitch. Its the only way. And Caeleb too I guess? Like I think the alliance I'm going to need is like... Me/Tom/Jules/Caeleb/Benj/Mitch... like that's a 6, and with Julia might be the numbers we need going forward.

I'm like... not gonna win this season I know it already. Jason is gonna be furious with me, as is Ian. And then I'm gonna have to flip BACK in two rounds. This is literally the exact game I've played before that hasn't worked.

Having said that, the main thing I did wrong before was that I didn't own my moves. So I need to own it, when I vote out Jason I need to talk to Ian and pull me in, so we can just... remove Alex. I just want everyone gone already askdlfa, its so so so tiring.

Here is what I want to happen now:

Ian > Alex > Jason > Mo > Jones > Mitch > Caeleb > Julia > Tom > F3: Me/Jules/Benj

but like... its just... im in such a bad mood about all this, its really... just enough.

Also for the funsies, if I was a juror, at FTC from most to least, this is who I'd vote for so far:

Jules > Benj > Mitch > Ian > Julia > Jason > Tom > Caeleb > Alex > Jones > Mo

So this tribal is shaping up in our favor... hopefully. I think Jason's for sure going now at least. It should be a 9-3 vote if everyone's telling the truth... which would make it so easy to split the votes because I'm pretty sure Jason or Ian have the idol. The most we can hope for is make them think Caeleb is going home for sure.

Pray for me. I don't wanna be a merge boot. I feel like I have a lot more game to play.

im about to save jason and fix all my problems.

i'm gonna push the vote onto ian, saying jason is very nervous and seems like he will play an idol, pushing the vote onto ian. Then I will tell Jason before/after (to be decided) the vote that I saved him, thereby securing his trust so that we can make a move on Alex next round.

I have NEVER played so aggressively, and tried to take control so much in the vote, but Julia put me in a crap situation. But I'm not gonna like... sit here and have it happen, I am here to play a good game, I said so in my application.

I think this is the way of ensuring minimal blood on my hands, and I've wanted Ian out since round two KLASDFA.

I wake up and I then learn that HOW IN THE WORLD ALEX KNOWS THAT CAELEB IS A TARGET THIS ROUND???

Mitch told him? Like what the hell is happening???! I talked with Alex and he says he’s ok with Caeleb which is really weird??

Tom then goes online and tells me Alex has been going around telling people different names and he told Caeleb my name >.>

AND NOW JULES AND BENJ ARE MIA AND ITS REALLY SKETCHY

I am gonna get voted!! I can feel it ahsjdiff so much for my never voted out status :(((

50 minutes till tribal and the plan is to vote out Jason but make Jason think it’s Ian or Caeleb? Unless I’m getting blindsided which in that case, well done. I’m really tired and I just want some Mac and cheese and a nap.

why is the one time alex and jones pip up to squash my beautiful plan. like go back to being crickets at all signs of game talk thank you very much.

alternatively... tom and jules could come in clutch, flipping caeleb to vote out alex that works too.

i'm annoyed with jones/mo/alex they can go. like i've wanted jason and ian out as a duo for ninety-five years, but maybe i wanna keep them around.

Jones is fuckinf PISSED

THESE BUDVA ARE CRACKED AND WANNA CHANGE THE VOOOOTE SKSKKSJSJSKSJ WE HAVE LITERALLY 40 MINUTES

If Jason idols himself, I’m idoling Caeleb and I’m gonna gonna kill someone

If Jason idols Ian and we get Jason out I’m laughing my ass off

If Jason idols himself and I idol Caeleb and I’m SOMEHOW IDOLED OUT then fuck that shit I’ll literally kill someone

I just wanna tell these Budva in space jam then it’ll be ok

I DO NOT WANT TO BE VOTING JASON AT ALL THE FUCK I WANT TO GET ALEX THE FUCK OUT OF HERE BUT NO CAELEB APPARENTLY WANTS TO VOTE JASON I HATE THIS THEY REALLY ARE TRYING TO GET MY HOMIE JASON OUT!!! WAS I CONSPIRING AGAINST HIM AND IAN ALL WEEK? MAYBE SO! BUT I DON'T WANT HIM OUT YET!!! I DON'T!! WE ARE TRYING TO BLINDSIDE ALEX BUT THIS AIN'T WORKING UGHGHGHGHG *STOMPS ON THE GROUND* UGHGHGHGH I HATE THIS GOODBYE

me flipping my vote to make it a 5-4-3-1 sending Ian out... I'm either the second coming of Natalie Anderson or 11th place.

The moment Mitch, Julia and Ali stopped responding to me and Jason I felt it. That we were being bamboozled and it looks like we did.

Tom and Jason were true to me and the end and I love them for that. Screw snake Julia because she really fucking played me like a fiddle lol and fuck Ali, mitch and benj hahahahahahahahaahahahahahHaha Because it really hurts! Alex is a scheming lying bitch and at least Mo half lied to me oof

At least my vacation is saved. I love the hosts, Drew, Seamus, Johnny and Asya for having me. I stan Nicole G forever. Bora Bora will always be my home. Goodbye tumblr survivor!

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survivorwakea · 5 years

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Episode 5: “my scumbag ass did the unthinkable and dirtbagged myself to safety” - Adam

AHHHHH I DID IT my scumbag ass did the unthinkable and dirtbagged myself to safety, I’m not proud of what I had to do or how I behaved when Taylor got eliminated but in all honesty that was all I knew I could do to get me through.

So okay let me explain my mindset, I was a goner I felt fucked and my back was most certainly against the damn wall. Nobody was answering me and nobody was even trying to talk to me, I knew that Thomas and Chloe are tight as fuck so I needed Tom to think that Taylor was going for Chloe so he would feel that he needed to protect her. All the red flags were there for Chloe and she knew it was m I could see it in her face that she didn’t believe me at all when I was framing Taylor. She knew that I had made it and I honestly did the dumbest thing ever by snapping and celebrating cause it was live to the cast and being all new to live tribals I wasn’t thinking at all

Okay so after a very explosive tribal council one that I will honestly learn a lot from for future games 😂😂 a swap happens and I was hoping that I could be swapped with like Elmo but I got out with Zack and Ian oh and Chloe... she loves me I swear.

I think I just need to work on just staying calm and cool to try and claw back from that very unneeded aggressiveness just gotta grind this challenge out and get a W

I’m on a tribe with Asya. This is gonna go SO well😒

Im still reeling from that fucking tribal. Im so mad at myself for voting out Taylor and letting Adam fucking manipulate me. Im sick of men, Im sick of their shit. Men have no place in my life right now, theyre all lying cheating fucking scumbags and I would rather cut my tongue out before I ever have to talk to another man again

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So, this has been an interesting 24 hours. We swapped tribes again, and as it turns out, the two people who were probably beefing the most at tribal, Adam and Chloe -- they both end up on my tribe. It's a bit frustrating, because I like them both. And if we lose this challenge and have to go to tribal, and they end up opposite each other, I'm worried about picking sides. In fact, I'm worried, period, about this damn tribal. 5 people equals not many places to hide. Yikes.

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I’ve been crying about it. I fucking suck, we just established that.

Well it's another loss! I feel like Denise Stapley xD. Anyways, I was put all alone on my new tribe but since I wanted to strangle Adam after what he did it's a good thing, but then I realize poor Chloe is with him I hope he gets it after that last vote. As for this vote, I think of Joey and his third grade picture of a flag that says Kane instead of Milu makes him the easy target. But it is still early, something may change. I'm glad to be back with Asya and both Bodhi and Jared are really cool. I feel I have options.

No. Fuck this. I'm absolutely sick of going to tribal. No. I'm not happy at all. I'm pretty sure I'm cursed right now and all I want to do is sleep. Also Adam is back in my DMs being like lol I still wanna work with u. No thank u to that either. Adam plus tribal makes Chloe not very happy

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Well I’m going to another tribal council, I’m getting sick of these but I think if I survive this one their is a possibility merge is next so I think me and tribals will just stay being friends. Poor Chloe and Tommy though they legit have been to every single tribal where I’ve been to every one BUT one.

My plan here is to try and vote Justin with Ian and Zack and hopefully the three of us can Hold the majority this round and take him out so that way moving forward I still slightly gave chloe who I believe is starting to come around again. I think she is finally starting to understand that the only reason I did what I did was being I was getting voted out and desperate times call for desperate measures and I think she gets that.

I’m going to tell her about my plans to vote Justin in a little bit I just hope that she agrees to it calmly and we can just have a simple 4-1 and call it a day.

hey yawlls this round was wild... so basically we swapped AGAIN and I'm with ben, johnny, anabel and lily, so overall a very solid group of people.

I'm rlly happy that I'm on the tribe with Ben because we share a lot of same thoughts about the game and I think that we are somewhat of a duo? I mean there's no bond or agreement between us but still! Really happy to have him here bc I trust him a lot, maybe more than I should.

Then we also have Johnny. He's the obvious threat of the game. He loves challenges and he is pretty darn strong socially too. I was very happy when he approached me with a ride or die deal. It's rlly good for my game at least for now because in order for me to reach far in this game I need to work with a lot of threatening people, if I vote all the out, it won't be a good look for me. Johnny also revealed a lot about who he knows before the game (i kinda knew of a lot of the info though bc i follow a lot of different orgs oops sidfashfd). But yeah! I think this round could start a beautiful partnership between us, I doubt that it will last until the end but it's great that it's a thing at least for now

Next up is Anabel. She is a sweetheart and I see a genuine opportunity to work with her in this game. She's innocent queen so far and I think she'd be loyal to her alliances, however I am also aware that she has crackhead tendencies so I just can't take her loyalty for granted. I rlly like talking to her tho so I think the more I talk to her the less likely it is for her to try to make a move one me? We'll see I guess but I just don't wanna blindly trust her.

Lastly, Lily. Ugh, a busy queen. I am very happy that we won the challenge because if not, there's high chance of her getting voted out of the game. She isn't as connected as the rest of us. The reason why I went so hard for the challenge was because I don't think its smart for my game to vote her out. I REALLY don't see her flipping on me and if she were to do it, I think she'd tell me about it which is the exact reason I want her to be in the game cuz I know I'm gnna need ppl who are v loyal to me. I also have worked a lot on trying to build a bond with her on a gameplay level too and so far so good, I'd say!

I think my position in this tribe is vvvvv good because of the randomly formed group of me Johnny and Anabel (although nobody talks in there, I take it as their sign of I want to work with you). Johnny also has the Ku advantage and while he says that it's nothing, I am not sure if I believe that. I doubt its an idol but I have a feeling that it could be something to help him in the game, yanno? I think that eventually he's gonna tell me though, yanno? Idk this is my random thoughts of the game. It's a blessing to be at confirmed F13 but there's long way to gooooo and I'm kinda here for it. My predictions for the boots on the other tribes are Joey and Adam but we'll see what happens !

Just won another challenge. Kinda wanted to go to tribal for this one so I could solidify some bonds with ppl but oh well. It could be worse. I could be going home this round lmao

THIS. ROUND. WILL. BE. THE. DEATH. OF. ME! i feel like this round is gonna throw a major wrench in my game for the upcoming days because it's gonna show some people that i'm not as loyal as i say i am. adam and ian think i'm in an alliance with them and that is NOT the case! i feel more loyal to chloe and justin and think i can advantage further in the game with those two. adam and ian think we're all gonna be voting to evict justin, but when adam gets 3 of the votes and winds up going home, i don't think it's gonna be pretty. ian is gonna see that i was never loyal to him but WHATEVER! i had to do what i had to do and i had to lie to them to protect my own self this round! i didn't want them to flip the name around on me, because you never know what could happen in a game like survivor! so yes. me chloe and justin are in a serious alliance and we all plan on evicting adam. adam and ian think i'm in a serious alliance with them and are gonna be evicting justin. so.. this is gonna be another tribal council for the books of celestial i feel like.. so lets get ready and prepare for war! bring it gays.

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i honestly can't help but think the worse. yes, i trust chloe and justin 100% but.. justin seems to be stressed since adam and ian wanna vote him out. so justin can easily turn this around on me and tell adam and ian everything if he is LITERALLY worried about leaving. and chloe can just turn around and tell ian and adam what i'm doing if chloe wants me out. so yes. i trust them, but my mind can't stop thinking the worse. if chloe and/ or justin think i'm a threat in this game, they can turn this all around on me and vote me out since i'm doing the most here and lying my ass off to adam and ian and in an alliance chat with them right now. i'm worried, but i'm just gonna pray this all works out.

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https://youtu.be/P9aV81hAjZY

https://youtu.be/0hB313P66RE

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Adam is voted out 3-2. Thomas is voted out 4-1 at double tribal.

#episode #sailaway

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unproduciblesmackdown · 7 years

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yall ive had some shit this shift...i got lectured and vaguely threatened for having to pee a lot which was coz i drink stuff thruout the day like coffee and tea which is Pee City and since ive been on deliveries steadily all day ill be gone on that for ages and have to pee when i get back as well as the other shit i do. like i was literally this afternoon joking w coworkers who are actually cool to me abt how i can be at work for hours before people who have been in the store the whole tkme will realize im even there coz im a) out on deliveries most of the time, like for real if its a busy lunch period i can be at work for 2-3 hrs and actually be in the store 10-20 min and b) when im here im moving around actually doing shit and people have always been saying how its hard to get ahold of me coz im always going around doing shit and thats another reason people dont realize im here and c) people just dont notice me so like today my freakin bad i had to pee a lot coz my only comforting routine in this place besides constant disassociation is working my way thru a drink and i happen to like both coffee and tea even tho it does make me pee and sometimes i get the coffee dumps, truth. so today since ive been in and out on deliveries the whole time and i havent been talking to anyone since none of the people who notice me were much here and since ive been moving around the store since im actually doing shit, i get yelled at for using the bathroom too much.... like i get the issue of people who give themselves Bathroom Breaks which realistically we all do but sometimes people do it too long or whatever and like yeah while im taking a shit i will check my twitter or make a shitpost or something, like we all use our phones throughout the day including the managers and im not gonna feel bad for doing that but i am not thrilled w being accused of using the bathroom needlessly when im using it coz i need to use it....and like not like i can prove im peeing every time coz i'd be glad to give you a urine sample every time but they prob dont want that.... anyways whats real good is how i was just talking the other day about how this one delivery driver who's been here forever and was just given like acknowledgement for being a good employee, i was talking w someone about how like he doesn't actually do shit, and i was like i try desperately to ignore him but now that you mention it i never see him doing anything really? and like if you ask him to do some basic shit we're Supposed to do he wont or he'll ask someone else to do it. and today he was here and when we were slow and i was like washing tables and taking dishes and making coffee I actually paid attention to him and he definitely would just like stand by the computer even tho we had no new orders and then walk to a different spot and then go back to the computer and then walk energetically somewhere else and i think a couple times i saw him carry a few dishes to the sinks. and he's fine and im doing shit and getting lectured for causing issue for not doing my work like granted this was from the same manager who once made me mad for getting on me for Slacking Off coz i was leaning on the bread slicer, which i was leaning on coz i was trying to read the order info on the computer next to it, and was also happy about because i was doing a lot of work that day more than even usual. and another driver complained about her doing that exact same thing aka complaining about Leaning when the driver had been working hard and i was like yep ive had that happen too like now i essentially cant use the bathroom because the fact that i keep myself busy means that most people, who have a tendency to not notice my presence even if i AM standing right there, legit dont know im there and nobody sees me doing any work coz they dont see me coz im doing god damn work........ im annoyed coz like i can think of maybe seven other employees who distinctly notice me and are cool with me and im cool with them, and most other employees are fine and decent to me and stuff but theres a couple people who are shitty including this one guy who just now was talking with this dude who i thought was a decent guy? and they were kind of making fun of me and i went up to the decent guy like hey i was actually right over there and totally heard you guys, coz i was not in the mood, and he just brushed me off and i was like fantastic. plus for some reason the manager who fussed at me decided to do it all formally right before i had to go on a delivery, and so i didnt get enough time to say everything on my mind about my Problems with the fact that this was occurring which i was absolutely going to do in full on account of i think its bullshit and im no longer in the mood in my general life to act like i think that kind of bs is warranted, but before i could talk about it long enough i felt like id said everything i wanted to, she was like ok u gotta go on the delivery and im like you still havent given me that $60 you forgot to cash me out and you're allowed to say what you want and i cant respond? i get that mgmt is bullshit and i had just been talkingn about how mgmt is bs a couple days ago but i just dont care for me personally i am going to answer back. and because of being abused all my life a lot of times i have an automatic response to these kind of situations where i try to speak back and the stress just naturally makes me cry and then i gotta be like sorry im crying its a physiological reflex i earned for being alive. and now that you rushed me out to make a delivery i have to be trying not to cry at work, and extend my cryish period by having to try holding it back, and also extend it on account of im still got damnt pissed about it like god knows im not one to praise myself beyond reason but im a good worker here and ironically that means people might not ever notice it and I've definitely never heard a good word from management about anything i do since i dont even know when and instead i get in trouble coz one day i have to pee, coz other days i also have to pee coz i have established one comforting habit to get through customer service bs where i get weird treatment from other coworkers at least once a day usually and sometimes dont even have a work friend around and so my fucking bad i have coffee i guess like apparently my fuckin problem is that im both quiet almost all the time and keep to myself but also sometimes joke with people or say something to them at all just to be nice coz other coworkers are quiet and dont get shit from people or are always in a less than warm mood and dont get shit about it. i close tomorrow aka there for 10-11 hrs but at least a coworker im work friends with and who has a similar demeanor is around for most of it or i swear to christ. hopefully i ever deliver to someplace with a fucking bathroom coz i guess i cant god damn use ours anymore without being monitored coz im not a good enough worker natcho like i just dont know how im supposed to have my bladder on trial and if managers are only noticing that i pee more than them and not that i do work all day and extend myself to help out when things get dicey, well then like if nobody sees it i sure dont have proof i did it other that remember that time we had a massive dinner rush and i stayed an hr past my shift and was not only the sole person taking food to the tables but also taking dishes back and washing tables and restocking junk in the dining room, no you don't remember because nobody was working beside me and so as far as everyone else knows i did nothing and so anyways too theres nothing for someone with anxiety who worries about being monitored and judged like telling me ive been monitored and judged and now i cant pee anymore, that'll teach me to give myself one nice thing thru-out the day. i also dont have anything to rely on to comfort me after something shitty at work and tragically work is most of my socialization and most of the only thing i "do" and i feel like im being treated kind of crap for the fact that i do put in effort every day to be helpful around there. like thanks that i have to bite the inside of my mouth now coz im trying not to stress / angry cry coz i have nowhere to put it. like i dont care if this manager thinks this shit is part of the job like i deal with enough shit in life right now to Not be angry about this. like boy you guys are really making it hard to think about having to leave this store when i haul off to a different area in just a bit and i honestly dont know about the fact that some people especially this one guy who is just a dick to like everybody keep saying shit comments about me coz they cant see me and im like fuck off. like im honestly sick of it and im sitting on the fact that this dude also has said racist crap ive been an audio witness too and said something racist about a coworker to her face and she told me about it like. management is part of what i'm mad at right now but if im getting narced on for the fact coffee and tea go right thru me then i think i have a complaint here whenever the next time he says some shit is like when i'm here i honestly keep to myself and try to be doing work whenever we need work done and apparently thats why im now getting shit and sorry this post exists and is so long but im real peeved and the only way to put a long rant from me about shit anywhere is to put it here

#long post //

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survivormongolia · 6 years

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Episode 2: “I was prepared to come in this game and slay.” - Madison

ok well... none of us were voted out which is alright i guess but we are literally not winning this immunity with gloria and patricia on our tribe.... like no offense to them but they finna submit like 20 thinking its a good score like arghhh its whatever tho bc im going to get the highest on the tribe so if they vote me out theyre literally the dumbest people ive ever met. if we lose, i truly dont think im going anywhere bc i have 3 people im genuinely friends with and ive been having good convos with dennis and brian... wow i cant believe im aligning with mostly men

me as soon as i saw the blog for the game: "i should check the rules page, i know some hosts are sneaky & hide advantages in there"

me: everything looks a-ok to me!!!!

hosts: make sure you check the rules page!!!

me: hmmm seems fishy, let me check again!!!

me: nope, nothing ot the the blue

me: tells dan about the advantage in the results post

dan: something looked fishy to me in the rules page, but i tried to right-click and nothing worked, let me check again

dan: omg. it took me to the same page as the results

me: wow. i truly am a useless piece of garbage

ok im back and i found out more info. so apparently gloria has been on call with dennis AND francie which means they dont play around. i think theyre being really social with everyone and i KNOW francie has amanda and emily on the other tribe so im actually really worried about them. i have talked to them a lot and i feel like i wouldnt be their first target but maybe randy or madison would be?? idk. if we dont win this immunity it wont be the worst thing in the world bc everyone agreed to patricia last week so might as well try again this round ig. i talked to randy and he's on the same page and also is afraid of francie and dennis being really social so hopefully once our tribe gets down to 7 or 8, the 4 of us (madison, randy, tj) would be majority. i really trust tj and he always keeps me updated but... he has a mind of his own and i wont be surprised if he wouldnt be down to do one of them. btw ill probably make a podcast or a video dr tomorrow if i find more tea...

I’m not going to do as well on this challenge as my tribe mates I don’t think. So now, of course, I’m thinking about tribal last night and how I was asked about the first challenge and I was like “yeah keep me around bc I can help in challenges.” That’s not going to be good for now. I’m going to do my best given the calculus and government homework I have for tomorrow (EW). I’m also thinking about the game as a whole. I want to put myself in a position of power wherein I can be a big part of strategy and make notable moves while also not flagging myself as someone “running the game” (lol like that’ll happen) or someone who’s too big of a threat to stay. This involves identifying larger threats than myself and locking them out before anyone knocks me out etc. There’s a bullseye; let me find my quiver. This is also probably the last confessional I’ll make ‘til after the challenge because why spend time confessing when you can find invisible cows. (I’m on the way to school and confessing on my phone. No, I’m not the one driving. I may confess at lunch or study hall if anything worth confessing happens between now and then.)

Okay so I went back and checked the other posts and there wasn’t anything around. But when the new immunity challenge was posted, there was the same link hidden on the post. I sent it to my host chat and nothing. I noticed after I sent it that the link wasn’t hidden on the new challenge post anymore, but the previous ones are still there. Interesting….

So the Fans went to tribal and we were hoping that by sending Jon to Exile, they would vote out Randy and it would keep an inactive around to help them flop more. However, Jon struck out and was med-evac’d. Great. So now the Fans are gonna go super hard on this challenge since they basically got a free pass. This challenge, by the way…. Shout out to Drew. I hate this challenge. Invisible Cows can die, all of them. I told my tribe to make the window as small as possible so the cows have less places to hide, and I think its working out for everyone, so hopefully we can do this. I’m just worried because I know Madison on the other tribe just played this game in a challenge not too long ago and if she tells them about the trick then we are basically on even playing ground. Im at 800 right now and my goal is to get to 1500 but we will see.

I’m still trying to figure out my social game. Usually in games, I form some kind of alliance within the first 48 hours and generally keep up appearances with everyone. I want to do things differently this game. While I am still trying to be friendly and talk to people, I dont want to be the one to hold all the conversations. I’m having trouble keeping a conversation with Asa and Ian and Nicholas, but everyone else I’ve had at least a 10 minute conversation or longer every day. Colin has already suggested voting out Asa if we go to tribal because he’s talked to her the least. He says that me and him are good and I’m glad for that. I really like Colin. And I know that Emily will have my back, at least in the tribal portion of the game. Last night, Dan, Lindsay, and I formed an alliance. Finally! I really like Lindsay and we danced around forming an official alliance with each other for 3 days, and Dan and I have talked a lot, so I’m really glad this happened. With this alliance, and my bond with Colin and my relationship with Emily, I feel like I’ll be okay should we go to tribal. I’m hoping we don’t have to… here’s hoping we can find more cows than the Fans..

https://youtu.be/D45IAXpUHyA

This challenge is cute! And also my tribe is just Slaying this challenge. I love this tribe, we're stacked as hell djkfgfh

Oh well fuck. Well I was middle of the road with the scores so I didn’t go from top score to lowest ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ it still fucking sucks though. I hope enough people are down with the plan from the last round depending on who gets exiled.

Temujin exiling Patricia was the obvious move—keep the lowest challenger in the game and force the losing tribe to send a better challenge player home, increasing the likelihood of them returning to tribal—and from a strategic standpoint I have to give them a bit of credit but being on the tribe that’s getting screwed over? Fuck this.

So I'm in the predicament of which alliance to throw under the fucking bus, I should've been quiet about the group to Julia Rae and Madison. Best person to go home would be Brian or Randy, for my own personal benefit

Wow, so I don't know if you managed to see that but I told Julia Rae and Madison about GloForce...and then switch them to Brian

Wow this tribe really is doing that. I get a bad feeling we’re gonna get swap-fucked somehow. I guess now that its been a few days I can give my opinions on people a little more.

I get strange vibes from Amanda and Dan. I feel like they’re close just by interactions they have in the tribe chat. They both also seem like the type to be cutthroat. I think I’m in good with them tho so as long as I’m not doing anything shady they might not target me, since I have a feeling they’ll be the ones trying to lead the first few votes when/if we go to tribal.

I get good vibes from Emily, Asa, Quillyn, and Lindsey. They seem pretty trustworthy and easy to work with.

As far as Nicholas, Ian, and Colin go, I don’t really have any connection with them but I’mma try talking to them more while things are easy and peaceful so they would be hesitant to vote out me over someone else.

I’m really curious as to who got the secret advantage. I’m mad as hell that I didn’t get it but oh well. I feel like if anyone got it it was probably on the faves tribe, cause I feel like the fans aren’t putting in all that much effort or reading into things as much as an experienced player might. I’m glad to have been the one to publicly expose the advantage because I want whoever got it to be on their toes and that they’ll have to be more cautious and stressed about trying to do things involving it. They probably think no one is paying attention but I have eyes in the webcams on their computers. I see them.

Temujin won the second immunity and I'm very pleased with that as we are all getting along fine, but for how long? Eventually we will have to turn on each other and vote one of us out. My job is to just make sure it's not me, pre merge portion of the game I aim for a good score but not the best of unbeatable score. The sweet spot is upper middle, you are seen that you can be beat in individual challenges yet good enough to want to keep around for a strong pre merge tribe

Also i feel like horse culture is important?? Like idk why the hosts wouldn't just put a keyboard smash url or make the url (survivormongolia.com/secret-advantage). Like horse culture must mean something. I wish I was one of those girls in middle school who put horse stickers on all their supplies. I feel like maybe I could better understand horse culture and what this could mean. But just know i have made a mental sticky note saying "HORSE CULTURE" in bold sharpie.

Allow me to explain why Brian being voted off would be a fucking stupid idea or Julia and Madison, so if me, Julia, Madison, or Randy gets sent to exile and Patricia is gonna come back in our place just how well do you think that's gonna play out. Patricia isn't stupid and probably knows she was gonna get the boot...this time atleast. With the scores brian and randy have been producing it'd probably be them getting booted next, at this point I'm trying to stall...

I'm glad we won another immunity! although I'm getting sick of the fake sweetness of our tribe like nobody actually likes each other that much and that will show once we end up losing one of these challenges. I'm really tired of the passive aggressive competitiveness of some of these people too like, we can just all support each other and not like try to put people down who can't get as high of a score on a shitty flash game? I'm hoping for an early swap honestly I would definitely want to try working with some of these fans over the people on my tribe who I just can't seem to connect with.

So. Jon went to exile Island and got his 3rd strike. That was great, because he would've been voted off anyways.

Then the next challenge happened and disaster struck. First off, I love that minigame but holy shit, it drives some1 crazy UNLESS YOUR NAME IS MADISON AND YOU ACTUALLY FIND A TRICK TO SPEED UP THE PROCESS BUT THEN PROCEED TO NOT TELL ANY1. Eitherway I spend around 3 hours during all my exams and papers, that are due, to find stupid 800 cows until I was about to go to bed, wher TJ told me a trick to boost up my score. So I did that and brought it up to 1100 by another 20 min but that wasn't enough by FAR. The rest of the tribe decided that 300 or 600 is enough. Obviously we couldn't know how much the other tribe was getting, but after seeing that easy trick everyone could've atleast aimed for 1000.

We lose the challenge, they pick Patricia, which is a good pick (Since she would've most likely been voted off other wise - even though I did bring up a point in the alliance chat, that we might have needed her to keep the majority in the tribe, just in case the other 4 form a counter alliance). Me and TJ talked a bit and I told him before, that the only 2 possible votes are Brian or Randy. Both have barely been active in this tribe, with Randy just doing a tiny bit more (Flag challenge) but we can't hold that as a positive for him, forever. In the end it seems to be brian tonight, oh well unlucky.

But in my opinion, seeing how our Tribe works compared to the Favorites this wont change anything. They will keep beating us out in every challenge until we are at a low number of members just to be picked up 1 by 1 in the merge or at a tribeswap. Its super scary and I am already getting a little bit anxious and frustrated looking forward. The worst thing that could happen to us is, that we win the Reward challenge and then get on too much of a high, go back to doing the least amount of work, just to be crushed at the next Immunity challenge again. Lets hope that isn't the case. Lets hope a swap happens sooner than later, when we still have some numbers..

But, on a more serious note! That whole conversation about the secret advantage came up with Dan after he returned from Exile. He told me about the idol on Exile, & how it's the name of a Survivor, you only have two yes or no questions to narrow it down, & you only get three guesses. He also told me what questions he asked, & his guesses!

So, I guess my social game is better than I thought it was, because he said he was only going to tell Amanda & I, & we ended up making an alliance chat. To be honest, this group really makes sense to me, because I feel we are more of the "social" people on our tribe, where we'll message people first, & try to keep the conversation going, so I'm really happy with this core group. Now, I'm not a mathematician, but even I know that three out of ten people in a tribe is not a majority, but it's nice to have a solid core group that we can hopefully add to when needed! Plus, if you have a smaller group inside a bigger one, you're already in a better position number wise. I'm blabbering on about this newfound alliance, & how it's good for my game, just to watch it blow up when the inevitable swap happens, & we're split up. :) :) :) :)

I'm still trying to form relationships with other people on my tribe, but I feel like I haven't really gotten far. I think I have a good relationship with QuilLynn! We actually talk quite a bit, & have good conversations about things outside the game, & I really like her! She's someone I can definitely see myself working with down the line, so hopefully she feels the same way.

Like, I'm really glad & relieved that we've won the immunity challenges, but sometimes when you're on a tribe that keeps winning, it's easy to just relax & not talk as much. It's when you lose, where everyone starts to scramble, & relationships develop further. Basically right now, we're the Love tribe, where everything is sunshine & rainbows, & no one has a bad thing to say about anyone. But, if we were to lose, we'd go from *heart eyes emoji* to *knife emoji* real quick.

I don't want to say I thrive in chaos, because I don't, I'll overthink every possible scenario & hop aboard the paranoid train, full speed ahead. However, I thrive when people are very conversational, & I feel like the people on my tribe will only become like this when they feel their ass may be on the line.

Another update about our tribe idol: Still haven't guessed once. Still a flop. Let's try to turn this around, Lindsay! You can do it.

This confessional has been all over the place, so sorry I'm a mess. I don't know. I can't control my thoughts or put them into words very well.

I’m angry I found 2.6k cows and we still lost. I don’t know what this tribe is doing tbh it’s such a mess. I was prepared to come in this game and SLAY but that’s kinda impossible right now so.

Gloria is an icon.

That’s all.

So I guess I haven't done one of these this round! WHOOPS. Well, not much has changed in my game. I'm still really enjoying the tribe for the most part and just trying to do my best in the tribe! Like I'm really proud of myself for performing so well in the challenges so far. Jokes on the tribe bc when I start school again, I'm not going to have as much time to do things *shrugs* I know I'm pretty and successful and they'll just need to understand that.

On a serious note, I'm worried about Colin coming back from exile and the idol situation over there. I'm lucky I have some time to plot and think about how I'm going to address that. I think I'm gonna say something along the lines of, well I kinda wanted to see who went to exile next before I said anything to anyone about it. I would be open to sharing information with Colin, I just feel like with him working we really haven't had the chance we need to really like create a lasting bond. Yes, we talked about people we liked and about keeping each other's best interests in mind, but that was one curt little conversations. I know curt implies rudeness, but that's not how I mean it, I'm just not smart enough to think of a better word. But, any who, I have some scrambling to do with our relationship, but I'm willing to give it a go. We shall see what the future holdsssss.

Cow cow cow cow cow cow cow cow cow WOW IT WAS WORTH IT HEHE! I got 666 cows and our tribe won by an absolute landslide. I’m super happy! I am excited to see what happens when the fans actually have to um vote someone out and not be saved from a medical evacuation lmao. Also I haven’t been talking to people like I should because I’m so fucking lazy. And tired. Like give me a break people

Ugh we lost but I did so bad but I didn't had time to do it. I feel like I'm going home tonight unless I get to go to exile since I was lowest and last one they send had nothing

Hello it's me fallen tuna. I like my tribe a bit better it's pretty clear that we are all pretty busy. I suck the most at the comps so thats somewhat confusing but asa talks less so if we lost that might be the one person I'd try to get out

So this round has been me trying my hardest and obviously not succeeding. The faves tribe are just too dedicated for this game. Which is great for them, but we arent naturally as competitive as they are. Meaning that we're once again going to tribal. And they sent home Patricia. The girl who we thought would be the next voted off.

So now its scrambling. Julia told me her group of TJ, Madison, etc. is going to do Brian. I brought up the fact that me and Brian are close, and that Francie would probably be better since she's obviously close with Amanda on the other tribe. But Madison is also close with them, so i dont see them leaving this week. If I have to vote out Brian. Then damn, but I'm not leaving premerge. So its just time to cut my losses, and hopefully make it to a tribe swap.

Confessional: I am very upset with many players on my tribe who I feel don't need to be here because they are somewhat inactive and not trying all that hard in challenges. They need to carry their asses to be perfectly blunt. They are hurting our tribe and it takes all the fun out of the game to be honest. People are telling me they are voting Brian and I love him to death and know for fact he can be a great player but this game he has shown me nothing so I am going with majority and he was on my rdar this round for vote also, I am working with TJ Francie and Dennis and hope us 4 stick together and none of them turn on me. Thus far they are my safety net but who knows what will happen if a tribe switch happens and I hate this sending people to exile island it sucks big time cause I am afraid that will kill my game if sent. I hope that everybody 100% votes Brian out tonight and Randy isn't showing much attempt either after doing that gorgeous flag. That sucks but it is what it is in games take the good with the bad. Hope I last see you at tribal honorable host. <3 GLO GLO <3

So my gay ass is sitting here, minding my own business, and what do I see in a VL I'm in? Emily and Amanda are hosting an Athena season together? INCHRESTING. I will keep that little tid bit in the back of my head when it comes time to vote somebody out.

Okay so basically at this point my tribe is slaying the game! As one would expect, we have a lot of seasoned players who are hungry for redemption and really don’t want to be the first fave gone so everyone is going really over the top with these challenges. I won’t complain because they keep me safe by extension but i have a feeling that there is going to be a loss or a luck comp in our near future and i just don’t know how i am going to fare if we go to tribal. Right now i know that Quil, Emily and Lindsay wouldn’t vote me out. So that means hopefully 4/9 votes. Ive been trying to reconnect with Ian and I don’t think he would vote me out either so I think I could survive a tribal if I ended up going to one.

Right now i am putting in some work to make sure that Im not the first boot from this tribe. I’m trying to not talk to Asa or Thomas [they also don’t message me,,,,ew??? like wtf are you doing here if you aren’t going to message anyone] so that I can eagerly throw their names around if we go to tribal. Also ironically enough they are the highest placing members of our tribe so I’m hoping it can be an easy sell. That’s about it for now!

Honestly, I hate the fact we lost the challenge. I hate the fact that Patricia was given immunity because that means that my time may be up. People barely try and talk to me, or even bother to reply to me. So I think it's me tonight, which is fine. I am content with my journey. I was told it may be Randy but I doubt it. We'll see.

I'm good Patricia is coming on so hot. She's just like "I wanna work with you" and calls me right away like omg ajdhaidhss it's not that I wouldn't wanna work w her it's just that you'd think she'd spend st least ten minutes to have some small talk before throwing me six feet deep into strategy talk...

i dont think im getting voted out but if i do oh well... everyones voting brian i believe and my friends have no reason to lie to me so i am feelin GOOD!! i hope theres a tribe swap so i can be safe for once oh my god

I hope this tribal and the Brian vote are successful. Fingers crossed!

I'm confessing to say Emily was robbed in Athena All Stars and I love Drew even though he drags me always the end

#fvf6 #confessionals #MassTag

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