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#im going straight to hell

another day, another round of Shadow and Bone promo pics, and another round of me quietly thirsting over Ben Barnes and trying not to make Shadow Fold innuendoes

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Now I’m sitting at work fantasizing about threesomes…🥴🥴

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This happened…

Buruberi and Chihiro…

on my 3ds xl….

in miitopia…

help me

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I’m going straight to Hell. 😂

My old lady and middle-aged coworkers are constantly seething with envy, because my husband is the best man in the whole damn world and he is forever bringing me snacks and coffees and flowers at the office (and even a space heater one time when the heat in the office broke).

My Dom wants to see me on Friday, because he’ll be in my area after a gig (he’s an opera singer), and he’ll be done around the time I normally go on lunch. And in a tux. And he is ridiculously attractive.

They might actually shit themselves with rage if he came to collect me…

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Yeah ‘tis a holy season and all that but also do consider:

Tony dressed up in a full Santa costume with Peter, donning the sluttiest 'santa’s little helper’ outfit, riding him mercilessly? The little golden bells on his pointed hat ringing sharply as the boy bounces himself on Santa’s lap with unbridled enthusiasm while letting loose little fucked-out noises of pleasure; the tiny skirt he’s wearing bunching up around his hips to expose the crimson silk panties underneath. Below him Tony’s driven wild with hunger at having a lapful of sinful temptation. Gripping the boy’s lithe body with his gloved hands, he grunts a low “naughty little boy aren’t you, riding me like a fucking slut. So desperate for Santa’s cock”– which draws out a needy whine from Peter, tinged high with desperation. “Say it, tell me who can fuck you the way you truly crave it,” Tony snarls, but the boy is too preoccupied with swiveling his hips to sink down further until the engorged cockhead buried deep inside him nudges deliciously against his sweet spot.

Toes curling and head thrown back, one hand clumsily fisting at Tony’s robes and the other one still clutching the candy cane Santa had used to lure the pretty elf onto his lap, Peter’s incoherent babbling lilts to a high cry as Tony snaps his hips upwards to aim mercilessly at his oversensitive prostate– the man’s teeth scraping dangeously sharp on his bared neck in a silent warning. Quickly realising his mistake Peter cries out, “only you, Santa! I’m your dirty little boy… just, wanna be good for you Santa–” and when Tony suddenly lunges forward to force his candy-red lips open with his own mouth and sucks hard on his tongue, Peter’s eyes roll back and with a stutter of his hips, the steadily leaking cocklet straining at the front of his panties jerks and spills sticky across his gaudy costume and over Santa’s belt. When Tony follows soon after with a growl, the tight velvet heat contracting around his pumping cock milks him for all its worth; squeezing his hot come out in seemingly endless ropes until it paints the boy’s insides white.

As they slump together in the silence that follows, panting heavily and catching their breath, Peter tilts his head while mumbling sweetly, “thank you for my treat Santa, am I on the nice list now?” and the older man curses.

“Christ. You’re killin’ me here, you little menace.”

“Hey, I’m not the pervert who thought up of this,” the boy retorts with a cheeky grin, gesturing at the sticky mess between the both of them. “Merry Christmas, by the way. Hope you enjoyed your present.”

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new ship

announcer bfdi x commander tartar splatoon


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A list of Christmas songs that just make Christmas better

• Up The Rooftops Sucking Dick

• I’m Dreaming of A Hoe Christmas

• Frosty the Stripper

• Rudolph the Red Nose Cokehead

• All I Want for Christmas is Weed

• Santa Daddy

• Your Nuts Bustin by an Open Fire

And last but not least………

• Santa Claus is Cumming in Me

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i almost fucked my best friend earlier and im so calm about it tho

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Being an exo fan has corrupted me. There’s literally for smut fics waiting to be finished in my drive right now for four different members why am i like this. im gonna go pray for forgiveness, ttyl.

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