#im going to have a little breakdown now.

[jade-len]

luo binghe better than me fr i think i would've gone fucking apeshit if the person i loved with my entire soul pretty much said "fuck you" because of my race and pushed me down into literal hell for me to suffer for years

i've said it before and i'll say it again, i really don't think we give binghe enough credit. that man was on concerning levels of forgiving all the way from the start

#this would all be without xin mo eating at my brain btw #were the things he did wrong? of course. can you blame him? absolutely not. #like lets not act like at least half of us wouldnt go insane #i would be devastated #just.. place urself in his shoes ok #like he was able to still change for the better despite all the shit he went through #able to realize his wrongdoings and make up for them #thats fucking amazing and we should not discredit him ok #my ass would probably do the same thing as him tbh. or have a whole mental breakdown. or both #also same goes for bingge i wouldve done the same shit too probably. id fuck shen jiu up #again #not excusing his actions but i feel like people seem to focus on that part of him way too much when we literally see his character growth #and yeah hes still just a little unhinged but arent we all #hell some people are WAY more fucked up than binghe and they didnt even go through #i love him so much can you tell #so anyways yes if he were real i would date him hes so relatable #because then id now that he would actually change for the better and make things up and learn from his mistakes #yeah haha yes hes a red flag whatever all jokes and fun but are we just gonna ignore his development??? #im not a binghe apologist. maybe. #svsss #mxtx svsss #luo binghe #luo bingmei

[lottieurl]

i'm well aware there are single parents out there working full time but i think working full time and living alone with my dog is about to put me in a psychward

#why cant i handle what other people seem to handle effortlessly lmao #im so fucking exhausted and burnt-out i need demonic possession to save me or smth #like please @ random demon you will do a better job for sure #idk its like. my dog is now spending so much time alone when im at home that i feel really guilty #if i wanna go out or do anything that doesnt involve her #i have no damn time and energy #i might spend half a free day cleaning but its all a mess anyway #and then i will come back home like today just exhausted after 5 days of work in a row #and i just wanna take her for a walk and get myself smth to eat and chill a little #and i find! is poop all over the damn floor i finally managed to wash like a day ago #and it stinks so fucking bad i nearly throw up cleaning up #and then have a breakdown in the bathroom. as you do. #HOW DO PEOPLE LIVE LIKE THIS I AM SO FUCKING EXHAUSTED #its also not fair to my dog idk this sucks so much #i doubt anyone read all this bht if you did hi and sorry #needed to vent unfortunately #wah im TIRED

[chronal-anomaly]

Little activity notice but I'm taking my praxis/boards at the end of March so I'll be extra unresponsive from here on out. See you all on the other side of this!!

#ik ive been on a little bit of a low activity hiatus anyway what with the 10-14 hour workdays i have rn #and i usually get home and just pass out or go to my other job rn #but ive been trying to be decently consistent on discord but honestly thats getting harder too #im usually lurking on the dash but anything that isnt studying/work right now is Too Much #ive already had one moderate mental breakdown cant wait for more :/ #but by the end of march I'll be wrapping up the unpaid internship and taking the praxis so ill be way more free after that #( ooc. ) #dont forget about me!!! love you all!!! #im a little bit more accesible on discord rn but even that might be a day or three before i get back to it sorry

[leafuxxtea]

god the announcement of hnk (houseki no kuni/land of the lustrous) has got me in shambles,,, i haven't read the chapters after the 10 000 years hiatus so i gotta catch up (actually I'll probably re-read the whole thing)

‼️rambling incoming‼️

imo, hnk is one of the best series for deep psychological analysis,,, it had such a deep impact on me when i first read it (like 3 years ago) and still remains in my top best/favorites series 🥹🥹 i could ramble abt it for so long,,, the process of one losing bit by bit the parts of themselves and replacing it with something else (both physically and metaphorically) in an endless need to help others, but also as an own selfish wish to become better than who they used to be. Then looking back, and realizing things were so much simpler back then, and mourning that past self. (The fact that all of this revolves around their self-hatred and the belief that they're worthless is just. It's so heartbreaking to me. They've become so desperate for affirmation and yet still keeps getting hurt, by others and by themself too.)

i have too many feelings about the manga 😭😭 im losing myself to the brainrot, help-

#leaf yapping #hnk #any hnk fans here?? 🥺🥺 #I MEAN IT WAS PRETTY OBVIOUS THE SERIES WAS GOING TO END SOON ANYWAYS #god I still remember the infamous 2 years hiatus #all because ichikawa got a ps5 #i have so many thoughts on so many characters #rutile...ghost quartz...diamond...yellow diamond...antARCTICITE...CINNABAR??? CAIRNGORM???? 😭😭😭 #and last but not least. lets not forget our endlessly suffering protagonist. gods sacrifical lamb. #IM NEVER GOING TO SHUT UP ABOUT PHOS‼️‼️ #this series made me so mentally ill...like i was already mentally ill but it made me worse #i rewatched the anime recently actually and it made me super emotional 🥹🥹 #ichikawa. when i catch you ichikawa. #THE TRANSFORMATION PHOS WENT THROUGH IS SO INSANE ACTUALLY #ur telling me the silliest little guy is now...some imposing shapeless deity figure??? #lets not forget about when [spoiler incoming] #they lost their legs. then lost their arms. then lost their head. #then got destroyed and slowly reconstructed into a horrifying mix match of broken pieces #not the mention how they get shattered by the alloy when they have a mental breakdown #WHICH IS SUCH AN INSANE DETAIL BTW??? #the way they just. fully physically break down to pieces. from inside of themselves. when their mind is spiralling. #i think their portrayal of ones trauma is so interesting #ANYWAYS IM STOPPING MY RAMBLING FOR NOW

[lecliss]

I'll never be able to take the theory that Vincent is Sephiroth's real father seriously cuz I cannot stress enough how important I think it is to the plot that Vincent wanted to fuck Lucrecia and did not get to.

#once again i jest but now i have to actually talk about it #like. okay we have no proof of any actual timeline for the dirge flashbacks other than. it was at least 30 years ago #so who knows how long they were at the manor. could have been weeks before The Incident. or months. or maybe a full year! who knows #but to me a timeline of like. they fucked and like a week later vincent found The Evidence and lucercia had her little breakdown #AND THEN EXTREMELY QUICKLY SHE AGREED TO THE EXPERIMENT AND IT COULD GO ONE OF TWO WAYS #1. she knew she was pregnant and thats why she agreed to the experiment cuz there was already a usable subject #and therefore she must have fucked hojo like a week after she fucked vincent AND THATS STUPID FAST FOR THESE EVENTS #or 2. she didnt know. agreed to the experiment. fucked hojo. and therefore thought seph was hojo's and NOT vincent's #AND BY THE WAY. i dont even actually believe hojo fucked either!!! cuz theyre both scientists so why wouldnt they think IVF was the best way #okay. well.... hojo is canonically a fucked up little freak. so. he might have taken the opportunity to... get in there. #also when did ivf even start being a thing? cuz that may play a factor into this if nomura even considered that #well either way lets just unfortunately assume hojo got in there #ITS STILL AN ODDLY FAST TIMELINE #also. fuck man doesnt lucrecia have a later line in dirge where she actually says shes in love with hojo? or something along those lines #IMPLYING ITS BEEN AWHILE SINCE SHE HAD THE FALLING OUT WITH VINCENT. YOU WOULDNT FUCK THE GUY AFTER ALL THAT SHIT #AND WHILE CLAIMING TO LOVE/CURRENTLY FALLING IN LOVE WITH HOJO!!!! LIKE CMON MAN!!!! SHE SUCKS BUT SHES NOT THAT KIND OF A MESS #i dont think vincent would fuck her until they sorted out their issues anyway and that CLEARLY didnt happen. #its VITAL that that did not happen!!!! #its just. if vincent and lucrecia fucked. everything would have had to happen EXTREMELY fast within like a 2 week timespan #and im just talking about up to when vincent learns shes partaking in the experiment. it was probably another week or two until vincent died #SO. logically it must have been like #fall in love->learn about the gimoire incident->refuse to speak to vincent->get obsessed with hojo->fall in love(?) #and then thats where i think its ambiguous on did the experiment become an idea before or after seph started to exist? #like chicken or the egg ya know. experiment idea or sephiroth zygote? #that feels fucked up to say. im so fucking sorry to seph to talk about this. yeah sorry i have to debate who fucked your mom bro #god imagine telling him that. like not even as a reveal thing cuz he knows who his father is. just like as a sick joke. your mom joke. #NO OH M Y GOD I HAVE A QUESTION NOW #in accordance to him having a photo of lucrecia in ever crisis. after he reads that jenova is an ancient (incorrect btw) #does he think that picture is still her? what about when he takes jenova's body from the lab???? #oh my god 30 tag limit. FUCK. i need like a rant blog for all this vincent talk now. my brain is going a mile a minute

[nychthemeron-rants]

I am so close to making a Hazbin AU where Angel is Niffty's dad because making this post and THIS vvvv

Fucking image made the idea go from "huh, funny coincidence" to full on brainrot.

#Angel is Niffty's dad now #im sorry for already going off the deep end #but its happened #I know it has zero canonical backing besides the speculated birth/death dates of these two #but it would be cute #and kinda sad #but cute! #Angel Husk Niffty and fat nuggets forming a little family unit #eventually getting redeemed and getting to meet aunt Molly #for angst you could have Alastor using this to manipulate Angel similarly to how he fucked with Lucifer #except Alastor actually has been more present for Niffty than Angel #and the fucked up extra edge of him owning Niffty's soul #not to mention that Angel 100% has no fucking clue he ever had a kid #like he's gay #and died in the 1940's #sure he's slept with women a few times for various reasons #but that was rare since again he's got no interest in women #so the chance of him having an illegitimate child was never even a thought #besides sex education in the '30's and '40's wasn’t exactly stellar #finding out he's a dad would be a complete shock and probably cause him a whole breakdown #meanwhile Niffty would either not care or just be excited to finally meet her dad #hazbin angel dust #angel dust hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel angel dust #hazbin niffty #niffty hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel niffty

[mashmouths]

anyone want to pull an edna pontellier with me

#we realize that we're alive individual people with agency and sensations we can pursue but are trapped by societal expectations (originally #Heavily gendered but this was also like 150 years ago) but we cannot give up our newfound selves for the sake of our children like we're #supposed to so we strip naked on a beah like a newborn animal bare before god for the first time and swim out and drown #spoilers for 'the awakening' i guess sorry #to put this is modern terms does anyone want to pull a brian david gilbert 'and now i am going to throw myself into the sea' with me but we #don't come jogging soggily up the beach towards the camera at the end we just actually drown #sorry to once again be sad on main i just. i cannot keep having the same breakdown every 3 months! every quarter i have to re-realize 'oh i #probably don't actually want to die i just cannot in any circumstances keep living like this' and then i keep living like this #i am so tired. i am so fucking tired of effort not meaning anything bc i try and try and try and i still can't turn anything in #finals posting #anyway edna and adèle should've kissed who's with me. adèle comes over and watches edna's kids while she's out gallivanting and recognizing #her personhood like a good little wife but she also is the first person to welcome edna im and like connect personally with her? edna is a #lesbian but she died before she realized that was an option. hot take. #whatever i hope everyone has a fun and safe st. paddy's #a post

[tortademaracuya]

I keep running out of time and changing my sentences in the middle of saying them ajsusjdkdkdk aaggggggg i dont want to do the presentation on monday :(

#fucking up in front of +40 people brought to you by yours truly #im so scared!!!!!! i like my investigation bt i do not want people to ask me questions about my game!!!! #idk girl idk how im gonna make it #also while practising one of my family members decided to joke and ask if i had done the art with ai :) go fuck yourself :) #god this is gonna be such a mess. both the presentation and the game. why did i pursue higher education #haunted.txt #i should have asked a classmate to practice with me but i didnt wanna bother her... #i feel like all i do is bother people lately im having the shittiest time even managing to progress a little with the art for the game #why did i choose a game why did i explain it with a cool concept now im gonna have to make smth worth playing #which it wont because i talk a lot so its just a very short and tedious text game that no ones gonna enjoy aghhhhhh #my breakdowns count as method acting of the game characters lol we are all having a horrible time #also my professors keep not giving me revisions we on week 6 of being completely ignored #please for the love of god at least leave me an emoji saying you read my shit oh my god im going to snap

[just-your-average-tangerine]

I cant do this I can't do this I can't do this I can't do this I can't do this I can't do this

#at my last job everyone did basically the same things every day #there was a routine #i knew that everyday i would go in and do the same things with minor variation #like some days the load wouldnt be broken down yet and id have to help with that for a little bit before i could start my usual stuff #but other than that kind of thing #every day i could go in #set the cleaning aisle then the pet aisle then the baby aisle #then i would throw and face the cleaning aisle #then the pet aisle #then the baby aisle #we took our break at 2 #it was the same thing every day #and now im doing the same job but theres no routine #we all breakdown the load but its assigned at random which aisle you do #so its different everyday #then we all together have to throw and face 2 aisles #and having like 5 people trying to do one job on one aisle sucks #were in each others way constantly #then the assistant manager decides which aisle everyones going to do #once again its different every day #breaks are whenever the assistant calls it #never at the same time #and theres no guarantee that the aisle you set will be the one you throw #so you cant do it the way you like it #i never realize how much i rely on routine until i dont have one #and i cant fucking stand it #it makes everyday miserable #i cant live like this #op

[stonedopossums]

starting to panic abt the move. im under so much stress.

#.txt #its been coming for years. weve been planning it for years. but now its 4 months away and its reslly starting to set in #being in wa feels right. when we went in oct it was the most 'right' ive felt in years. #seeing the mountain felt right. being in the rainforest felt right. i felt like i was exactly where i was supposed to be for the first time #since i was a kid. i know this will be good for me. i just dont know how im going to handle such a big task. #i was 12 when we moved to mn so i didnt have to deal with any of the moving process besides packing my room #so this is really big for me and its super overwhelming and i just want to shut down #but i CANT #its such a huge mental task and i know its going to be super stressful but i dont have the capacity to fully actualize everything until its #really happening. i need to talk to a therapist i need someone else to make sense of all the shit going on right now #i need someone to just take the fucking wheel for ONCE and tell me everything is going to be okay but so far every single adult in my life #who ive talked to is telling me its a stupid idea and we wont make it and its going to fail #i need someone on my side for ONE MINUTE #for the love of god can i please just have an actual support system for five minutes #can someone please just actually fucking support me for once instead of talking bad about every fucking decision ive made in my adult life #can someone please just fucking be my parent for once. i want my mom. i want my mom to tell me everything is going to be okay. #vent #vent in tags #i am so close to a breakdown but i cant fucking afford one. this cant happen rigjt now i need to hold it together for a little bit longer. #just a little bit longer

[diegoshargrieves]

listening to mcr while at a horribly low mental point is... an experience.

#going through alllll the stages of breakdown babey!! #apathy sobbing wanting to punch the wall and throw up etc #meltingdown because im grappling with not wanting to be feel like this forever while not seeing a way out anytime in the forseeable future #ffs gerard way couldnt just let me be mentally ill suicidal and content with that #motherfucker rose from the metaphorical dead after eight fucking years to give me a will to live #and now i have to deal with the emotional fallout of this shit #i feel like a fanfiction moment where a suicidal character has a close call with death or conversely sees their life change for the better #and both situations make them realize they dont actually want to die and they want to live and see things get better #and they just break down because all they've ever known was having little to no care or regard for themself and their life #god i would make such a good blorbo. the fandoms would love me. im mentally ill and traumatized as fuck i check all the boxes

[lecliss]

Having a lot of weird pressure feelings in my chest right now and on sunday in the middle of dinner surrounded by the whole family my grandma mentioned theres like a possibility she might have covid??? And the paranoia's going off the shit at the moment so like, if I go silent sometime this week maybe then you know I died, so, love you all ✌

#like not even saying this as a joke or exaggeration. im fucking freaking out in my head #and im not sure if this is what covid is supposed to feel like or not??? so just in case i wanna say bye as early as possible #im always fucking paranoid about everything forever so like. i dont want anyone being like where did he go??? #when its turns out im gonna like die in an hour when i fall asleep i guess?? #fuck and my dad never called me. i cant fucking do this right now. i just have to think about other things #my chest is kinda burning a little now. guys i m gonna die this is fuckinf it #im going to pretend its not tho or i will have a mental breakdown so. im good! 🙃 #personal #covid mention #covid /

[angelicgarnet]

.

#woof #i'm going through a very hellish time right now #my job has more or less been replaced with AI so im going to have very little income soon #unless i can find something new. and applying to jobs is so fucking draining and discouraging #and im stressed by my environment and dont know how to fix it #i think im going to have a very bad breakdown soon

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#i got like v little sleep so my brains been on fire all day #and while not sleeping i watched pacific rim for the 1st time and oh god i want to be newt #i want to be that sort of scientist. the kind that tattoos themself in their object of study and cant shut up abt how cool it is #i should get tattoos. many many tattoos. i already kno what i want its just a matter of finding the motivation to #actually book an apointment and follow thru #bc i want like a partial sleeve going over my shoulder and partly down my back #and like thats a big commitment chance wise and i dont deal well with change so id prob freak oit #also prob pretty expensive #hhhhh.... i should draw newt and some kaiju gore #i was minorly obsessed with pacific rim bsck when it came out despite never having seen it #maybe now i can test out my new pens. hopefully theyre not terrible lol #idk im just feeling slightly wrung out bc im having maybe a minor breakdown lol #unrelated

[gibbearish]

tells my boyfriend im overwhelmed lately bc ive had 0 alone time for almost a full month now bc we have a friend staying with us until we can get set up in the new house and he goes "oh yeah that sucks im sorry :(( but hey soon ill be working till 10 every night just like (roommate) so whenever we both work youll have most of the day to urself!" i go hide in the closet come out to make a drink and he sits in the kitchen and silently watches me make the drink the entire time

#i get youre trying to help but im going to fucking explode #oh boy a couple hours to myself several days from now thatll surely fix the breakdown im literally currently going through #and i have to go grocery shopping because roommate ate all the food while we were gone and cant afford to get more so i have to #do rhat tomorrow because theres Fuckinf Nothing in the house and im the only one who actually does the groceries right #have to get my tires rotated get my oil changed probably get new tires entirely #im mentally exploding from a -100 social battery and he sits there w #just STARING at me making my drink fuck off!!! literally the whole reason its overwhelmning me is because i NEED soace to Just Exist #without thinking about how im being perceived or how the way i exist effects others this is the opposite of helping i just want to #fucking rest #and theres so much more to do stil it never fucking stops not even for a second #just leave me ALONE stop touching me stop looking at me stop thinking about me stop BEING HERE ALL THE TIME #we just got back from an 8 day trip to canada where we literally spent 24/7 together only excluding bathroom breaks you dont need to #keep staring at me just ignore me for a little bit or just go AWAY #and he always chews with his mouth open and usually i can deal with it but especially now its like. even if were not directly interacting #i still have to just Be Aware Of You Near Me and i need a break #even the days ill have to myself later arent gonna do much because roommate doesn't wake up for work until like 3 but #i wake up around 10 and since its a studio i have to just Sit Quietly In The Dark for hours until they wake up until they finally leave #and then i get what maybe 5-6 hours alone? which like i do Need but its not fucking enough #thats good for a regular time when i have lther alone time as well not just my One Source #EVEN LITTLE THINGS earlier i started boiling water for a cup of soup and travis is like oh sweet grab me one tlo #and im not mad about getting him soup thats easy its just. that i cant do a thing for mtself without it becoming a group activity #and then he poured my water for me without asking which is nice but i like to put a certain amount of water so now mines too watery and #but i couldnt say no cause hed already done it and i cant get mad because thats a dumb thing to get mad about and im #already irritable so i dont want to make him feel bad at all but its just like. just leave me alone please #im trying so hard not to be resentful or let little things get to me but im just so. tired

[helloidkwhatimdoing-0]

I've been trying to get myself to revise all weekend but im clearly burnt out and clearly struggling with my executive dysfunction so I know I should just give myself a break, but I left my revision till the last minute again, so if i don't revise now then I'll have to go into a test having done no revision, so I'll probably fail, and like, yeah it's only finance, but thats the problem, it's only finance, and its gonna make me sound like a stuck up bitch but thats why i can't fucking fail it, like failing any of my subjects already makes me want the ground to swallow me up, but failing finance??? Failing arguably the easiest fucking subject i do, the one thats nowhere near as important and difficult as the others? I think I'd throw up, I'd cry and I'd throw up and I'd be so mortifyingly embarrassed, but now i don't know if I'll pass or fail or what because i didn't do any fucking revision because I'm burnt out because I've had so many fucking tests for no reason and I'm so fucking tired and fuck

#moss mumbles #moss vents #tonight on moss has a fucking breakdown #im gonna shower. and then I'm gonna try and skim read the textbook. and then im just gonna sit and pray i have good luck tomorrow #(i am not religious—) #and when it hits 10 oclock im going to sit and draw for a bit #and maybe I'll try and get up early so i can do a little revision then who knows #with how its going now. i might wake up tomorrow and immediately have a panic attck. wouldn't that be fun <33 #also im sorry this post makes me sound so fucking stuck up. like i know school isn't *that* important #but its also sort of the only consistent thing I've had going for me for my whole life so uh. yeah #if I'm not clever then who the fuck am i or whatever