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#im gonna count this as big brain time
izzy-b-hands · 2 months
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Reason number idk to keep my shot day more consistent (tho tbf i had been doing really well on timing up until last week lmao):
Shot day being off means i get extra weepy over just. anything. everything. My brain looks at anything and goes 'oh yeah, that's like (horrible traumatic memory), you 'member that? Yeah, sure ya do! here's a recap of that particular time for ya too.'
and like??? I am not a fan of it today. i mean i never really am but, I have shit to do rn lmao (dishes and i keep having smutty ed/izzy and nathan/pickles ideas that refuse to actually flow on the page once i open a word doc.)
#text post#typing this up more as warning that i might be extra messy the next few days#there's an in person work thing this Friday im terrified of bc my transphobic supervisor is gonna b there and like#it's abt four hours counting travel time so i know I'll need the bathroom at least once while im there and he made a Big Deal of it b4#and i just. am not looking forward to figuring out how to handle this in addition to it being So Many Ppl in One Small Room w/me#my brain deciding that anytime i have even a minor hormonal shift means weeping and constant memory reliving time is not helping that either#all the more reason to keep next week's shot on fucking time!!!!!#but. yeah. might be some sad lil text posts like this and reblogging a lot of my usual fixations to distract myself#but for now: dishes while i consider my ed cockwarming Izzy's strap idea &#my nathan panic proposes to pickles post apocalypse w/the ring he made for Abigail idea#that one is actually mostly written but. doesn't feel quite right yet#i do like the detail that nathan got it in pickles size & planned to resize it for Abigail#bc he didn't know her ring size but he has pickles' memorised along with all his other measurements tbh#so it just. fits right away and is revealed that they designed the ring as their shared dream engagement ring during a frienderbender#and 'whoever finds the right person first can use it with them' but oh. it was made for the right person all along. right there#a stitched up charles officiates while they're just. sitting in a pile of burning rubble aksndjfngn#anyway enough of this i must dishes and address the anxiety stomachache starting now that i thought abt the work thing 💀
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pbaintthetb · 3 months
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saw the wip february post, got curious, decided to check up on my wips and tragically discovered I have like 33k written in wips (only counting ones I intend to actually write still i.e. no wen au, JC dimension travel etc), :-( so much effort and for what imagine if i FINISHED SOMETHING
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caffeinatedopossum · 1 year
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Me: well I don't have any counting compulsions
Also me: (anytime I have to count anything) *recounts it at least 3 times because I think I counted it right... probably. but now I'm not sure and I have to check*
#i dont think i considered this might not be normal until just now#this might actually be why physically sitting down to fill out a math sheet is torture to my soul#but i also know math just fine. its just the anxiety about counting things wrong#its worse when theres physical things involved though like when im cooking because im convinced#that im gonna majorly fuck up#idk if this is normal or not but i straight up count to 5. normally and correctly. and then suspevt i was wrong#and have to redo it again and again until i get so frustrated that i have to convince myself whatever it fucks up cant be that bad#i think it would be a big problem if i was counting something important or anything at a higher number though#but thankfully the most important thing i count is cups of rice that go into my rice cooker lol#also still doubting wether i have ocd or not but goddamn. the word 'probably' has single handedly impacted my brain chemistry forever#i think... probably :')#god forbid i be sure of anything ever#lmao oof i just remembered some things. time for a small tags trauma rant i guess#so I remember never being sure of anything ever as a kid. for some reason i was so anxious and unsure#that the only thing i thought i knew to be true for sure was my faith in my religion#lol needless to say... i deconverted at 16-17#now idk for real man. i was wrong about the only thing i was certain of#not sure how to recover from that#obviously im never going back to that religion. it was so incredibly harmful idk if i could even put it into words#but at the same time... im not sure why i doubt everything#or more accurately im not sure how everyone else DOESN'T#how can they be so self assured? how can they know anything? how are they#how is anyone so sure of something that theyre just at peace with never thinking about it or doubting it or questioning it#ive never had that i dont think
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opens-up-4-nobody · 7 months
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...
#hmm its been an interesting week i suppose#very busy in a good way. but that is always how it starts. i make myself so busy and it feels good and then i wobble and fall out of my body#so im feeling wary. also bc ive been under sleeping more than ususal but im not really tired but im also not boiling out of my skin with#energy. i just feel ok. so thats good. but also a demon in the back of my head is always like: then stay up all night. lets see how far we#can push this. which is not good. and in fact ive been proscribed like basically emergency mood stablizers to knock me out if i start like#losing my mind and not sleeping lol. bc i dont wanna b getting ready for something big and like completely unavailable to control my#ability to think. and ive also been proscribed birth control to get a handke on my fucked up hormones. so we'll see if that makes things#less all over the place. hopefully it works bc im so busy i kinda dont have time to like freak thr fuck out#but i am a lil apprehensive bc like i can count on my hormones to make me feel things when a lot of the time i dont have much emotional#range. so its like fuck finally i can cry abt this. or like fuck this is so beautiful. but then i also cant function sometimes#so i guess i just gotta see what happens. sigh. also the typical frustrating in having to read so much. like ppl hear im dyslexic and r like#oh do u want accommodation? like literally wtf r u gonna do to help me as a grad student? it just takes an agonizing amount of time to#understand thing. i have my computer read to me and i suffer. theres literally nothing else to b done abt it. and fucking next week i have#to teach a fucking lab abt reading scientific papers. they have to read a paper in class. fuck off. those r the types of exercises that make#me feel so fucking stupid. like do this thing right now. read it right here and answer questions abt it. and i fucking read it and retain#fucking nothing. im fucking 26 and literally in my grant writing class i have to apologize to every person before i give them feedback like#lol sorry i can barely fucking read. i fucking cant understand language. its fine but it sucks. theres nothing to do abt it. it just makes#me mad i have to teach a class that would have made me cry as an undergrad. so ill prob hold their hands thru it more than the other TAs#will. bc fuck u im not making them read a whole fucking paper in class. fuck u#plus the frustration of not being able to express myself well in thr moments. like theres a delay in my brain so i feel so dumb when im#trying to convey myself off the top of my head. like give me time and ill write it all out for u i just cant actually process wtf ur saying#to me. also i probably spaced out for a sec so i missed part of the convo lol. frustrating but at this point its just how it is. it makes me#more empathetic when i have to teach i guess. like listen ive got all kinds of fucking learning probs i just wanna help u learn something#how can i help? fucking dyslexia. god. i dont wanna prep for class this weekend. ive gotta show up like yea i kno reading papers is hard at#first but it gets easier! fuck u. its worth the suffering if i enjoy to topic but its always suffering. but thats what i get for going into#academia. thr dr who proscribed me stuff was like well sounds like u have a stress trigger and ur a phd student where life is stress... u#gotta figure out whats gonna work for u. sometimes thats a career change. not in like a pushy way just like: if what u do makes u suffer#then wtf r u doing? and hes got a point. but in contrast to what i was doing this is a massive improvement#well see if its manageable. ugh. i just wanna draw#unrelated
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angel-eyes05 · 11 months
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to leave the warmest bed i've ever known
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pairing: spiderwoman!reader x miguel o’hara 
summary: after miguel’s fight with miles, you confront him in his office
warnings: this whole thing is basically one big argument there’s SO much angst, implied suicide attempt, HUGE ATSV SPOILERS DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THIS MOVIE, im projecting a little in some parts of this ngl (i cried writing a certain section of this, you'll know it when you read it lmao), mentions and descriptions of blood, gore, and death
word count:  4.1k
notes: i watched the movie yesterday…and miguel is on my mind. but i remember reading this namor x reader fanfic after i watched wakanda forever of a similar idea to this and i loved it so this is HEAVILY inspired by that fic, but just make it miguel. i would link it but ngl that was so long ago and i dont remember the author. if i end up finding it again ill put it here. also, just pretend miguel has been doing this whole spider society thing for a couple of years at least, it just needs to work like that for this ik its probably not canon but just roll with it lmao. and yes the title is a taylor swift lyric im so glad you noticed (im so sorry she's in my brain rn with the eras tour)
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The anger boiled up inside your chest as you stormed your way across the lobby. Hundreds of different Spider-Man variants were scattered across the area, some more injured than the others. It sickened you sometimes. How he had so many people under his grasp and just decided to throw some of them at the walls sometimes, not caring how hard they hit the floor because they were all just ammo to him. How despite his denials of it, that’s probably what your role was to him as well. Nothing more than a bullet in his massive machine gun.
You normally tried not to think about it, how his determination towards his goal sometimes meant lack of care for others. But this time he had just gone too far. You always had a soft spot for Miles, watching closely on him whenever Miguel would let you go though scanners of all the different variants. You admired his struggle, but eventual success to taking up the previous Peter’s mantle, and always hated how Miguel talked about him. You knew there was no way Miles could’ve asked for any of this. For the pressures and struggles of being a Spider-Man, for everything causing such a strained relationship with his parents, for the death of his uncle, and for what will be the eventual death of his father. You definitely didn’t.
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Ok lets do this one last time. Eh, whatever, there’s probably gonna be 50 other introductions after this one so it doesn’t really matter.
Being Earth-837’s Spider-Man has never been easy. Especially since you were bit when you were only 13 (another reason you sympathized with Miles and Gwen). Your life had followed the order of canon events to a perfect T, your older brother killed in a fight with a robber only two months after you were bit. You tried to overcome the burden of your powers by trying to live as normal of a teenage life as possible, but it was mostly in vain, having to give up multiple friendships and relationships in fear of those you love getting hurt. This was only elevated when your boyfriend Peter was murdered in the crossfire of an encounter with Doc Ock. You didn’t understand. You couldn’t. What you had done to deserve all of this. All you did was just be in the wrong place at the wrong time. You wonder sometimes what would happen if someone was in the same place you were when you got bit. If someone else went to the closed down area of that museum and ran into that spider. That stupid spider that ruined your life. Those thoughts slowly started to disappear for a bit. For a few years things were easy. Things seemed like they were finally going in your favor.
You were 25 when it happened. The last canon event. Ever since you were a little girl you hated your mother’s job. Losing nights of sleep over if she would come home or not. She always did though. She was good at her job. Too good though. Good enough to get promoted to police captain, which for who you were, was basically sealing her fate. She saved so many people that day. You were too busy fighting Venom to notice how much collateral damage you were causing in the process. Your mother’s job was to evacuate all the citizens away from the fight. She died shielding a child from incoming debris. A noble way to go. But god was it gruesome. You found her after the fight was over, two metal poles impaling her. One through her stomach and one straight through her face, pools of blood growing bigger below her as she was left there, all the paramedics busy trying to save the heavily injured. You froze when you finally recognized her, unable to at first due to how mutilated her face was from the pole. Suddenly, you were transported back to being a six year old, falling asleep outside the door to your mother’s bedroom so you would know exactly when she would come home. Purposefully falling asleep in her arms so that she couldn’t go anywhere.
When you used the key she had given you to get into her apartment that night, and you slept in her room, desperate to intake anything left of her before she was fully gone. You doused yourself in her perfume so it still felt like she was standing right behind you. You had always loved her smell. The smell of vanilla, curl product, and fancy perfume. They were attached to memories you had of her. Trying on her heels when you were a kid to try and be fancy like her. Smelling her hair in the morning before school to comfort you before she left for work. Despite all of this bringing you comfort, all it really did was cause further denial in your heart. That one day you were gonna hear the keys clacking in the keyhole to your apartment one more time. That’s all you really wanted. You would give everything up in a heartbeat just to hear her police scanner go off one last time. But it wasn’t going to. And it was your fault. Deep down you knew it was. You should’ve done a better job controlling the debris. You had always been a messy fighter, but you didn’t know it was going to mean anything until it was too late. 
How you got up to the top of that building is still a blur to you to this day. But next thing you know, you were looking at the New York City skyline from the very top of the Empire State Building. And at the very edge too. You heard some sounds behind you, but you just decided it was the wind howling from how high up you were. You were just so tired. Everything and everyone you loved was cursed all because of you. And with your mother as the most recent victim, you decided you finally had enough. You took a deep breath, eyes overflowed with water, as you set your foot forward.
Your plummet was interrupted by a sudden contact you felt to your forearm. Shock filled your body as you turned around to look at what had stopped your attempt. The blue hand was massive, nearly wrapping back around onto itself as it held onto you for dear life. You finally looked up at face that the hand belonged to. The mask that covered the massive figure was a strange one. Blue with strange red silhouettes for the eyes. It kind of reminded you of…your own costume? That couldn’t be though there was no way. This must be the afterlife or something. You already jumped and that's why you didn’t remember your way up to the top. This was some kind of creature trying to stop you from jumping down to hell below. His breaths were heavy and loud, almost like he was desperate to stop you. This convinced you that this was real, which caused you to try to escape from his grip. He was stronger than you, and was putting up a huge fight. You were slick though. Once you were out of his hand, you closed your eyes and quickly made your jump. Everything flashed before your eyes. Your brother, Peter, your mom. You were hoping to see them soon. This was very quickly interrupted again when you suddenly stopped falling. Something had attached itself to your stomach. You opened your eyes. A web? This web was much different than yours though. It was glowing a bright, neon orange.
The man was holding onto the end of it tightly with both hands. His mask then disappeared to show his face. His was long, matching how big the rest of his body was, defined cheek bones sticking out. Brown wavy hair slicked back with a few loose strands flying out in the wind. The look of desperation on his face stook out most of all. Why did he care so much? He didn’t know you, and you definitely didn’t know him. “Let me pull you up. Please,” he said to you between shaky pants. You stared at him for a bit before nodding. He slowly pulled you up with the string of his web, each move more careful than the last. As soon as your feet were planted safely back on the roof of the building, he wrapped you up in his massive arms. You appreciated the gesture, but you didn’t return it, still very confused about why he was so concerned. He was so big around your body though, you couldn’t help but feel a little comforted, feeling his still shaky breaths against the hairs of your neck. Soon after, he clicked on some buttons on his neon orange watch and led you into a portal.
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The rest is history. You’re grateful he found you that day. It allowed you to meet so many people, Peter B., Jess, Gwen, Hobie, Ben, Pavitr, Margo. They all related to you and you felt like you could share things with them that you couldn’t do with anyone else. You had grown especially close to Peter and Jess, both of them having been in the game for a long time, just like you. They both knew how you felt, having lost so much and growing so tired after so many years. Peter even named you as Mayday’s godmother when she was born, a gesture that caused you to nearly kill him with your hug. Miguel though was different. He wasn’t nearly as social as the rest of your friends, but you found yourself having much more intimate moments with him (in more ways then one). You eventually found out why Miguel was so concerned for you the day you met. He had taken interest in your abilities early into looking for variants for his little “project”, but refrained from roping you into something so dangerous while you were still in your teens.
Once you were old enough though, he started paying more and more attention, hoping to catch you in a fight and recruit you then. But he was always pulled away with more important duties to attend to. That was until he witnessed your canon event. He had seen it happen so many times before through his scanners. It was going to happen. It had to in order for your universe to not collapse in on itself. But for some reason, yours hurt more than the rest to him. Especially how you coped with it. Seeing you wrap yourself up in her blankets and clothes broke his heart. He knew where this would lead to. That’s why he was there that day. To save you. He had to, or he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself. You got your own watch immediately, along with your own room in the Spider Society headquarters. He stayed close with you for the first month of you being a member of the team. When he wasn’t out on missions, he was with you. You didn’t really know what to label you two as, but whatever was going on, you liked it. And he did too.
That is until Miles came into the picture. Once Miles was bit, all hell broke loose for Miguel. He was always in some alternate dimension catching some Spider-Man villain who got out and rangled them back over here, falling back over to you more beat up and bruised than the last time. You couldn’t imagine how much stress he was under, the fate of the entire multiverse up to him. You had some ways of helping him relieve his stress, but you wish you could convince him that he wasn’t alone in this. But nothing ever got through to him. He had become distant, aloof even. You tried bringing it up to Jess every so often, but she would just brush it off.
“That’s how he’s always been.” Not to you he hasn’t. This week has been hell though. With Spot making it over to Miles, Miguel had been going into rages all week. You had put up with it for now, but that was all about to stop. Watching how harsh he was being on Miles, throwing so many Spider-Men at an innocent boy, risking all of their lives in the process. Disregarding everything Gwen and Peter were feeling and then throwing Gwen back into her broken world with nothing. He had gone too far. No one else was going to stand up to him about it, so you knew it had to be you. Maybe he would listen, maybe he wouldn’t. It didn’t really matter. He just needed to hear it.
“It’s not worth it you know.” The voice snapped you out of your thoughts, stopping you in your tracks. “You know how stubborn he gets over these things,” said Jess, trying to convince you to save your breath. “I don’t care. I have to at least try,” you responded, monotonically. “I just don’t understand how you can follow him so blindly and not see what he’s doing is wrong.” “Because he isn’t wrong. I don’t know about you, but I’m not just gonna stand by and let some kid’s stupid decisions destroy another Earth,” Jess argued. “He’s just trying to save his dad, I can’t understand how that makes him such a bad person,” you said, finally turning around to face her, shocked when she was closer to you than expected.
“You know exactly why. Don’t be so naive, y/n,” she shot back. “You can’t stop me,” you said staring straight into her. She shrugged. “Then I can’t help you.” She began to walk away. You did to, until you heard her say. “You don’t know how much he cares for you.” You turned around to face her again, but her back was still to you, her head tilted ever so slightly to look at you. “If you really do care for the kid, watch what you say to Miguel right now. Cause you might just give him the final push he needs to do what needs to be done.” You didn’t give her a response, and just simply kept walking. You felt Jess’ eyes on your back as you entered the elevator to get up to Miguel’s office.
The elevator ride up felt longer than it should’ve, as you tried to gather all of your thoughts and emotions together so even if he didn’t listen, your words would still stick with him in some way. You didn’t necessarily want to hurt him (though your fists were telling you otherwise), but you did want him to be aware of what he’s done. Once the doors finally opened, all of that work flew out the window as rage took over your body again, seeing Miguel up there looking at the scanners. The fact that he looked just as normal as he always does made you furious. It’s like nothing happened.
“You know, I could hear you coming in from the lobby,” he said, almost stopping you in your tracks. You hated when he did that. Claiming that he knew what your every move was going to be. Like you were under his control or something. “Yeah, well then you must’ve heard me talking to Jess, which means you know exactly what this is about,” you shot back, stopping to where you could see him perched up there. “Why don’t you just save me the conversation about morality and just come up here and kick my ass already. It’ll save both of us time,” he said, not even taking his eyes off the scanners to look down at you. This only added to your fury. “That’s not what I’m here for Miguel, so don’t you dare try to twist my words here. What you did to that kid was fucked up and you know it.” “Oh yeah, then why didn’t you try to do anything to stop me?” he questioned.
“Because I’m not stupid Miguel. I’m not gonna try to take down hundreds of Spider-Men at once.” “Oh, cause you’re so much better than that?” This wasn’t like him at all. That gentle, kind, and caring Miguel you once knew was gone, taken over by some sort of personal vendetta he had against Miles. “Listen, I don’t know what’s going on with you, but this all needs to stop before it gets taken too far. You’re getting into a fight you can’t win. That kid’s strong and so are his allies. And if you go any further into this, I won’t be here to help you.” He stayed still and only turned his head to look at you. “And what makes you think that you’re so important to my plan that it’ll fall apart if you leave? Have you really become that pretentious?”
Your body froze. Have I really? No no no, that’s exactly what he wants. If you begin to doubt yourself now, you’ll stay and nothing will change. You knew you were right. He was trying to crumble you down, but you wouldn’t let that happen. “And you really think that one kid is going to ruin something that you’ve been working for for years? How insecure you’ve become.” “You have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said, turning back away from you. You did the same, wiping off your face in anger. “I hate it when you do tha-,” you said as you turned back around, but were cut off to find Miguel standing there right in front of you. He was close. Too close to your liking, although in any other circumstance you would’ve found this attractive.
He tilted his head up, but his eyes were down staring daggers into yours. You hated how much he tried to make himself seem more superior to you. “You have no idea what you’re talking about,” he repeated, this time slower as if you were a child. “He’s just a kid Miguel,” you said in a low, quiet voice. “An anomaly. And a dangerous one at that.” “God Miguel, all he wants to do is protect his dad, do you know how insane you sound right now?” you said letting out a slight laugh when you finished. You backed away from him a little. “He doesn’t know how much damage he’ll do with this. Saving his father will only prolong the inevitable. His world will be gone within hours if he does this. All I’m trying to do is make him understand,” he tried to explain. “By trying to kill him.” “You always have to exaggerate the situation,” he said palming his face. “But that’s essentially what you’re trying to do isn’t it? Why not snuff out the problem entirely by taking him out!”
He signed and began to walk away while you were talking, bringing up your anger even more. “Yeah, use all the power you’ve accumulated over the years and just take out the small problem! Except this isn’t just a fly on the wall Miguel. This is a child! An innocent boy who didn’t ask for any of this to happen to him, just like how we didn’t. I get it, I’m sorry that this job is stressful, I really am. But that gives you zero right to act the way you are!” You were screaming at him at this point. You didn’t want to. You didn’t want your emotions to get the best of you. But he was being too stubborn. This was the only way you thought you could get to him. You might not have wanted to, but you needed to hurt him now. It was the only way.
“You can’t be so power blind that you refused to accept the fact that there could be a way around Captain Davis’ death. You said we saved Earth’s before, I’m sure we could do it again.” Your anger only kept rising when he kept walking away and didn’t respond. “This is a personal thing isn’t it?” you asked calmly. You knew it was working now when he stopped walking. “Yeah, it it. You won’t let Miles get his happy ending. Because why should he be pardoned of his burden while the rest of us have suffered so much. While you’ve suffered so much.” The answer to your question was confirmed when Miguel stayed silent. “Just because you didn’t get the life you wanted Miguel, doesn’t mean you have the right to stop other people from getting theirs.”
You knew you overstepped the line when Miguel turned around and started walking towards you, fury burning in his crimson eyes. “Yeah, so what! What if that is what this is all about! You should know better than anyone how much this job takes away from you!” he screamed at you, backing you up into a wall. “Why should he get to be let off so easily, while people like you and me have to suffer so much? Don’t try to turn me into the villain here when I know you’re thinking the exact same thing, y/n.” He wasn’t entirely wrong. You had wondered it at some points. “I won’t let you turn this onto me Miguel, this is about you,” you fired back. “Oh no, you’re not getting off that easily. I know you’re thinking it. And you’re right. Why should Miles get let off so easily when you’ve lost so much.” He held your hands in his, trying to connect to you. “And you have mi vida. You’ve had so much taken from you and it’s unfair. Why should he only have lost one person when you’ve had three taken from you. Your brother, Peter, your moth-.”
He was cut off by your hand striking against his face in a harsh blow. “If you’re smart, and I know you are, you’ll keep those three out of them. I won’t let you drag their names through the dirt for something as stupid as this.” You both stood there for a while, both of your eyes looking towards the ground, hoping it would open up to swallow you both as an escape from this god awful conversation. You never wanted it to come to this. In all honesty, you cared for Miguel. You might’ve even loved him, if you were even capable of doing such a thing. You hoped he felt the same way about you, but in a job like this, he always had at least one wall up around you. It just wasn’t worth it anymore. You were too tired to keep trying for something that was most likely going to fall apart in the end. 
“You’re still going after him aren’t you?” you asked, finally breaking the silence. Miguel looked back up at you. “You can’t ask me not to. You know better than anyone why this is so important to me.” He moved his hand up to cup your cheek and kissed your forehead gently. You let it sit there for a minute out of habit before pushing it off your face. “And you must know why I can’t stay anymore then.” His shoulders dropped. “Whatever this thing between us is. It’s over. I can’t stay beside someone who can’t see what he’s doing is wrong.” Miguel’s dropped hand turned into a fist of anger. “Fine,” he spat in your face. “I don’t need someone like you in my way. You’re just a liability to this anyways.” He began to walk away from you back to his scanners. “Just don’t come crying back over to me when your little plan doesn’t work out, cause I won’t help you.” He used his webs to pull himself back up to the platform to keep looking for Miles. You stood there for a second, gathering yourself.
Five years. Out the door just like that. It bewildered you how easily a bond like you two had could be broken all because of one teenager. You began to make your way for the door before you said. “When this is all over…don’t try to find me.” He didn’t respond. Once the elevator doors opened, you rushed inside, desperate to get away from him. So many thoughts rushed through your head as the doors closed and you sunk down back to the lobby to leave. You didn’t have much of a plan. This could end up being a horrible idea. Your gut told you it was the right thing to do though. And that was enough for you. You walked out of the headquarters lobby with a new heart and a new mind, ready to take action for your new plan.
First though, you had to find Gwen.
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a/n: god that took longer than it should've. dw dw i'll do a part 2 if enough people ask for one. im not 100% sure how im gonna do a part 2 cause yk....idk how beyond the spiderverse is gonna go so tbh, we're just gonna make it go the way i want lmao. thanks for reading, ik this was kind of a long one lmao
NEXT CHAPTER
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truetogaia · 1 year
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im feeding yall so good rn PUTTIN IN THE WORK
pairing: dilf!jake sully x fem!na'vi!reader
genre: smut, 18+
warnings: virginity loss bc im nasty, p in v, a lot of dirty talk, hand job, oral (m recieving), EXPLICIT AND MATURE THEMES, daddy kink hihiihih, a lot of depictions, tsaheylu.
notes: couldn't get over my dilf!Jake brain rot so here we are. Daddy Jake walking his innocent, virgin mate through sex
Word count: ab 800!!
Jake carefully guided you to sit in front of him, between his brawny thighs. It was your first time, and he was gonna make sure to teach you everything he knew. “There you go” your gaze followed his big hands as he lazily undid his, seemingly tight, loincloth. You looked up at him with your pretty doe eyes, looking like a deer in headlights.
“It’s okay, baby. We’ll take it nice and slow, yeah?” You nodded, hesitantly placing your soft hands on his thighs. His cock was rock hard, and huge. Being as inexperienced as you were, your mind raced to try and understand how it would fit. 
Jake couldn’t handle the innocent, confused look on your face, only fueling his lust for you. He palmed his growing erection, quickly catching your scattered attention. Your hands nervously reached out to him, gently grabbing his hard length. A dry chuckle erupted from deep in his chest as your soft palms started working up and down his shaft, and with some guidance from the older male, you soon got the hang of it.
“Wanna try using your mouth, hm?” His raspy voice sent a shiver up your spine, heat pooling between your soft thighs. You nodded slowly, letting him guide his fat tip to rest against your plush lips. Jake groaned loudly as your wet, hot mouth enveloped his aching cock, resting his large hands on your head.  
“That’s right… such a good girl..hmn- takin' daddy’s cock like this.” You felt around for something to grab, something to hold on to as Jake’s bulbous tip abused the back of your tight throat. His gentle hums and moans of approval reached your ears as you gagged on his girth, not yet managing to fit the whole thing in your mouth. “Atta girl..” His lidded eyes scanned your face, relishing in the fact that you struggled to take all of him. You were drooling, eyes fighting the hot tears threatening to spill over.
Jake pulled out with a grunt, not wanting his release to go to waste. The rough of his palm caressed your jaw, gently grabbing it to shift your gaze to him. “Y’ready?” You answered with a simple yes. 
His golden eyes searched for any kind of uncertainty in yours, and when he came out empty handed, he laid you down on your back. “Daddy’s gonna teach you everything he knows, would you like that, sweetheart?” you nodded meekly, feeling his digits run over your soaked folds. A quiet moan escaped you as Jake lightly rubbed your clit. Though he had taken his sweet time preparing you earlier, edging you and making you cum so many times that you lost count, your cunt was still begging for another release. 
“Still so wet. You filthy girl.” he cooed, teasingly running his tip through your folds. With a deep, satisfied sigh, he finally sunk into you, reveling in the way your velvet walls sucked him in. Your cunt was drenched in arousal, making it easy for him to enter you in one swift motion.
He let you adjust to the new sensation, and his ridiculous size. It felt odd, to say the least, but amazing. His cock stretched you out so good, stuffing your needy cunt deliciously. He was quick to set an easy pace when you gave the green light. His movements languid and sensual as he fucked into you slowly. 
It took a while to fully adjust to his size. The pain soon subsided and transformed into immense pleasure as the head of his cock prodded repeatedly at your g-spot. Your walls molded themselves after the shape of his cock, after every vein and curve that adorned it.
Your soft mewls and moans only spurred Jake on, tempting him to thrust harder, but he knew better. Instead, he brought his hand to rest between your plush thighs, digits rubbing over your puffy clit in sync with his affectionate thrusts.
“That’s my girl. Damn you’re tight, sweetheart.” Your cunt was squeezing him tightly as he rolled his hips into yours, and he couldn’t get enough. Couldn’t get enough of the sensation of your younger, soft skin under his rough hands, couldn’t get enough of the fact that you wanted him to be your first. His thoughts were interrupted when your hands came up to carefully grab hold of his thick braid, pulling it over his brawny shoulder. His heartbeat increased by a thousand when you connected the tendrils of your kuru with his, pupils dilating as the unfamiliar, soothing feeling coursed through the both of you. 
The connection was enough to tip you both over the edge. Jake’s hot release painted your velvet insides white while your pussy spasmed, milking him raw. You came hard, body jolting as Jake halted his sloppy thrusts. He chuckled, plopping down to lay by your side. You finally came to your senses when Jake pulled you into his chest, face growing a shade darker as you realized what you had done.
“It was that good, eh?”
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3am-cheerios · 2 years
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i have yarn arriving tomorrow and i only have 5 quizzes, my final, and second paper left to do. im gonna crochet so much before fall classes start i have MISSED it
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itneverendshere · 21 days
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erase all of my memories without you - rafe cameron.
part 2 of can't remember anything before you.
pairing: rafe cameron x thornton!reader; brother's best friend! trope or best friend's sister! trope lmao; fem!reader.
word count: a lot??
WARNINGS: boyfriend!rafe <3; rafe being the biggest lover boy; tooth-rotting fluff if im being honest; topper's a dick but just for a sec; rafe is down bad; so cute.
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“rafe, i told you, no hickeys!”
“can you blame me?” he has that mischievous gleam in his eyes, like he's testing just how far he can push your boundaries. “you’re just so pretty, baby.”
you roll your eyes, trying to maintain a serious tone despite the playful grin pulling at your lips. “shut up.” 
being with rafe cameron was not on your yearly plans, but every single day, you thank your lucky stars for finally doing something right. he's a total game-changer, your personal slice of heaven. 
who would have thought the universe had that kind of surprise up its sleeve? 
he leans in closer, breath warm against your ear, arms wrapped securely around your waist, and you feel a shiver run down your spine. "i should visit more often if that’s how you’re going to greet me each time.”
you can't help but lean back into his embrace, savoring every moment of closeness.
"you should." you reply, your voice barely above a whisper, your fingers gently tracing circles on his hand. “wouldn't mind that at all."
you’d been together ever since that fateful night in your garden, months ago. 
sneaking around had its thrills, especially with your brother always lurking nearby, but nothing compared to the challenge of a long-distance relationship. late-night calls, stolen moments of intimacy over video chats, and endless messages are your lifelines. 
so when rafe finally stepped through the door of your new york apartment last night, after weeks apart, it was no surprise that you couldn't help but pounce on him, eager to make up for lost time. his slutty grey sweatpants, his choice of comfortable for a flight, were imprinted into your brain. 
“so, so pretty." he murmurs, lips brushing against your earlobe, “y'know i can't resist leaving my mark on you."
you playfully swat at him, a grin spreading across your face despite your half-hearted protest, “topper would kill you."
rafe snorts, the sound traveling through your body as he presses a kiss to your temple, “he can try.”
you can't help but feel a twinge of guilt at the thought of keeping your relationship with rafe under wraps. it’s not like you don’t want to make it official, god, you do. but you’ve spent the last four months having him all to yourself, you don’t want other people to butt in and ruin everything with their unsolicited opinions. 
being with him feels right. he's your rock, your constant in a world that's always changing. 
“can we go back to bed now?” rafe’s warm breath tickles your ear as he speaks, his voice laced with a hint of grogginess, sleep still clouding his brain, “it’s fucking freezing.”
you chuckle quietly at his sleepy request, the sound mixing with the gentle hum of the heater as it struggles to combat the winter chill.
“course." you murmur, unwrapping yourself from his arms to press a tender kiss to his cheek, "let's get you warmed up."
his fingers don’t let you move an inch away, circling your wrist to pull you closer against his chest again, big cheeky smile on his face as he looks down at you. “you gonna warm me up, peach?”
"i might." you reply with a sly smirk, trailing a finger down his shirtless chest. "but you might have to work for it a little."
rafe's eyes widen with mock surprise. "is that so?" he asks, his voice low and husky as he pulls you closer. “well, lucky for you, i’m up for a challenge."
you’d never felt butterflies in your tummy until you started dating this man. he has you wrapped around his fingers, and you don’t want out. it physically hurts you to even think about a time when you didn’t have rafe like this.
you can't imagine being anywhere else but here, wrapped in his embrace.
with a playful giggle, you give him a knowing look. "’m counting on it," you murmur, as you pull him closer. you stand on your barefoot tiptoes, arms lacing around his neck. “really missed you.”
rafe's arms tighten around you as he pulls you impossibly close, his warmth enveloping you like a cozy blanket. his gaze softens, filled with a tenderness that makes your heart flutter even faster.
 “missed you too, more than you know." he murmurs, his breath mingling with yours as he leans in to press a docile kiss to your lips.
“always thinking about my girl.” 
as his lips meet yours, a wave of warmth washes over you, melting away any lingering traces of cold or distance. fuck, you’re in love with him and if he keeps kissing you like this, you might confess earlier. you’re way in over your head.
you sigh contentedly against his lips, savoring the feeling of being so close to him after being apart for so long. his touch, his scent, his presence—all of it feels like home to you. breaking the kiss reluctantly, you rest your forehead against his.
“stop staring at me like that peach.” he scolds, but there’s no bite to his tone as his fingertips brush your cheek lightly. “gonna end up buying this fucking building if you keep that up.”
you smile again, that’s all you seem to do around him anyway, as his beautiful eyes sweep up from your lips to meet your own. “rafe cameron living in new york? i’d pay to see that.”
rafe chuckles, the sound rumbling through his chest and sending pleasant vibrations through your body. his fingers trace lazy patterns along your cheek, his touch sweet and affectionate.
“you'd pay to see it, huh?" he teases, a playful glint in his face as he leans in closer to you, his breath warm against your skin. “’m that good of an investment?”
you can't help but laugh at his playful banter, shaking your head. you love that you get to see this side of him, how soft he is with you, only you.
“you’re alright cameron.”
"jus’ alright?" he feigns offense, his hand moving to rest over his heart in an exaggerated manner. "take it back.”
“nop.”
rafe lets out a dramatic sigh, pretending to be wounded. "no?” 
you can't help but giggle at his theatrics, finding it endearing how he always manages to lighten the mood.
"you big baby." you tease, poking him playfully in the side.
“oh, i’ll show you big.”
before you can even wrap your brain around his innuendo, you’re being thrown over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. he does it so effortlessly you almost swoon. 
you squeal in surprise, the sudden movement catching you off guard. "rafe, what the fuck?" you laugh, squirming slightly as he carries you effortlessly across the room. “what are you doing—hey!”
his palm smacks against one of your cheeks, covered by nothing except a pair of his ralph lauren boxers. “taking you to bed, where you belong.”
you play along, pretending to protest even as you secretly enjoy the attention. 
"and what if i don't want to go to bed?" you retort, trying to sound defiant.
rafe stops in his tracks, his grip tightening around your legs. "oh, trust me, peach," he says, his tone turning serious for a moment, "you definitely want to go to bed."
“hmm, not sure.”
“it’s okay brat, you’ll be sure soon enough." he teases, deep voice making you want to do the most immoral things on every single surface of your apartment.
a repeat of last night. 
you play along, feigning uncertainty as he deposits you gently onto the queen-sized bed, his stare burning with desire as he hovers over you, thick arms caging you in. one of your hands wraps around his bicep, nails grazing the skin as you glance up at him, head tilted to the side.
rafe’s eyes instantly move to your neck as your hair slips behind, tongue poking out to wet his lips, "i don't know, baby, might have to convince me."
he leans in closer, his breath warm against your skin. "consider it my pleasure." he murmurs, his lips brushing against yours in a tantalizingly gentle kiss.
you feel a shiver run down your back as rafe's lips meet yours, his kiss sending a surge of electricity through your body. you’ll never get used to this. his touch is both tender and assertive, his lips moving against yours with a practiced finesse that leaves you breathless. 
it's like every nerve in your being wakes up, responding eagerly to his touch.
as he deepens the kiss, his hands roam over your body, tracing the curves of your waist and hips with a possessive urgency, with a sense of familiarity as if committing every curve to memory. his fingers tangle in your hair, pulling you closer as he deepens the kiss even further, his tongue tracing the seam of your lips before delving into your mouth in a hungry, desperate kiss. you melt against him, surrendering. 
you feel a surge of heat pooling in the pit of your stomach, your breath catching in your throat as he explores you with a hunger that leaves you trembling.
“better than alright?” he mumbles against your lips and you find yourself unable to resist the pull of his touch, arching against him in silent invitation. his lips trail a path of fire along your jawline and down your neck, leaving a trail of kisses in their wake, “lost your voice, huh?”
he’s so addicted to sucking harshly on your skin, nibbling it playfully to drag out and elicit the sweetest sounds from your mouth. a melodic moan escapes your parted lips.
“you’re such an asshole.”
“there she is.” rafe's husky chuckle fills the air, sending pleasant vibrations through your body as he continues to pepper kisses along your neck, each one igniting a fiery trail of craving in its wake. “’m your asshole though.”
“not if you keep teasing.” 
his lips pause their trail, hovering just above your skin as he looks up at you, one of his brows raised, "teasing?”
before you can protest his lips are on yours again, hungry and demanding. his hands roam over your body with a newfound urgency, tracing every corner and eliciting a gasp of pleasure from your lips. he has the audacity to hush you when he pins you harder with his hips, clothed cock rubbing perfectly against you. 
your nails can’t help but dig into his shoulders, pulling at the skin. the way he's moving against you makes you feel like getting on your knees and letting him do whatever he wants to you, for however long he wishes to.
but then, your stupid intercom is buzzing.
you both freeze, caught in the throes of passion interrupted. rafe drops his head on your shoulder, groaning. 
"seriously?" he mutters, his voice tinged with frustration as he rolls off you, giving you space to sit up.
“it’s probably breakfast.” you’re smoothing out your rumpled clothes— if you can call an oversized tee and boxers an outfit.
rafe lets out an exaggerated sigh, flopping back onto the bed, “’m so hard it hurts.” he whines, throwing an arm over his face.
“you’ll be fine.”
“can’t even see you right now, might cum in my sweats.” he mutters, his voice muffled by the fabric of your pillows.
you stifle a laugh, shaking your head at his melodramatic response.
"you're ridiculous." you tease, moving to sit beside him on the bed.
rafe peeks out from under his arm, giving you a glare, his bottom lip jutting out in a comically exaggerated pout. “and you're making me harder, stop touching me and go get the door.”
you lean in to press a quick kiss to his cheek, feet planted on the ground as you attempt to get up, but he’s quick to pull you down again. his beefy arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you back on top of him.
“rafe.”
“gimme a kiss before you go.”
“though you didn’t want me to touch you.” you tease, leaning down to press a short kiss to his lips. it's meant to be quick, just a peck, but his hand snakes up to the back of your neck, deepening the kiss. settling on your lower lip, he draws it into his mouth, sucking lightly, pushing you even closer. he runs his hands along your sides, one stopping just below your covered breasts—
“the door,” you manage to stutter out between kisses, “behave.”
when he finally pulls away, both your lips are slightly swollen, red and you’re both breathless.
 "there," you say as you push yourself off the bed once more. but this time, rafe lets you go without protest, admiring you with a lazy smile as you make your way to the door. 
when you moved back to new york three months ago, you chose to do it independently. while your parents owned at least three penthouses in the city, you needed something smaller. what was the point in living alone in such big apartments? you’d be miserable and alone most of the time.
you chose a smaller studio, fancy enough to be your type, but cozy enough to make you feel at home, even though you were miles away. 
as you reach the door, you glance back to see rafe still lounging in your bed, arms crossed lazily behind his head. you shake your own, turn back, and open the door.
your heart immediately falls through your ass.
“topper?!”
he ignores you, pushing you aside to enter as he focuses on removing the thick scarf around his neck, struggling to get it off as he rants.
“about damn time, you know how long i was outside?! swear to god i hate this city, it’s freezing for no reason and—is that rafe fucking cameron on your bed?!”
you freeze in place, feeling a knot form in your stomach as you watch topper's reaction unfold. rafe, ever the cool customer, sits up in bed, a smirk playing at his lips as he meets your brother’s incredulous gaze head-on. you can feel a headache forming in the back of your head. 
"hey, top." rafe geets, his tone casual as if he's just encountered an old friend. which he has because that’s his best friend. "long time no see?"
topper's eyes narrow as he takes in the sight of rafe lounging on your bed, “okay, okay. what the fuck is going on?”
he's going to freak out on you.
you clear your throat, trying to find the right words to explain the situation, “he’s visiting.”
top nods, not leaving his best friend out of his sight, “clearly! why are you in my sister’s bed, cameron?”
“was i supposed to sleep on the floor?” rafe replies, tone nonchalantly as he shrugs casually.
you’re going to kill him.
topper's jaw clenches as he shoots rafe a glare, clearly unimpressed by his answer. "you know damn well what i mean." he says, his voice menacing, so different from what you're used to.
rafe's smirk only widens, “relax, man," he says, his tone dripping with casual indifference. "we were just hanging out."
and about to have sex, but your brother doesn’t need all the details. 
topper's expression darkens further at your boyfriend’s flippant attitude, and you can practically feel the terrible outcome. 
"in her bed?" he asks, his voice dangerously low.
you step forward, hoping to defuse the situation before it escalates any further.
 "topper, it's not what you think," you begin, but your brother holds up a hand to silence you.
“and why are you wearing his clothes?”
you glance down at your choice of outfit, flustered, you try to come up with a plausible explanation, “uh—well—it's a funny story, i-i'm out of clothes actually, who knew doing your laundry took so much work?”
his attention flickers between you and rafe, suspicion evident in his expression. you can practically see the gears turning in his head.
"out of clothes?" he repeats, his tone incredulous. "and you decided to borrow his?"
you shift uncomfortably under his scrutinization, trying to come up with a better explanation, but you can’t. “yeah?”
he squeezes his eyes shut as if he’s in pain, “please tell me my sister isn’t fucking my best friend.”
you swallow hard, feeling the weight of his scrutiny bearing down on you, but rafe speaks before you can conjure the words. 
“your sister isn’t fucking your best friend, happy?” 
you shoot rafe a warning look, silently pleading for him to play along and not make the situation worse.
you step forward, again. “topper, please, it's not what you think,” you say, your voice tinged with desperation. “rafe just came to visit, that's all.”
topper's stare softens as he contemplates, but his expression remains guarded. “and you didn't think to tell me?”
you bite your lip, feeling guilty for keeping your relationship with rafe a secret from your brother. “i wanted to, i just... didn't know how.”
rafe interjects, his tone more serious now. “top, i know this probably looks bad—”
“it looks really bad,” topper interrupts, his frustration evident.
“but nothing's happened,” rafe continues, ignoring the interruption. “we're just friends.”
but your brother is still inspecting you. and it’s only when his eyes descend to your neck, you realize what he’s looking at.
“is that why she got at least three hickeys on her neck?”
you feel a flush rise to your cheeks as topper's accusation hangs heavy in the air. you stare nervously at rafe, hoping he'll come up with a believable explanation, but he just shrugs nonchalantly, as if the hickeys are no big deal. 
“they’re not hickeys, i burned myself with my curling iron.”
“yeah and i’m fucking adriana lima on my spare time.”
“okay?” you quickly turn your head back to the wall because you think you're about to puke up everything you just ingested.
"oh fuck, not you." top groans in frustration, seeing where rafe googly looks are directed, “not you two! you can't be serious?! that's my sister, dude; come on!" 
rafe finally stands up from your bed, his tone is firm, his expression serious as he steps closer to your brother, his hands held out in a placating gesture. “it’s not like that.”
topper glances back and forth between you two, focusing on the blush of your cheeks and the adoration in rafe’s face now that you are looking back at him. a sick, knowing feeling had been building inside of him since he walked through the door. 
“i can’t fucking believe this.” 
“it’s not like that,” rafe repeats, walking to your side, hating the way your eyes are starting to water. he keeps his hand on your arm, thumb brushing circles over your cold skin, “we’re together. and watch your fucking tone when you speak to her.”
“don’t tell me how to speak to my sister!"
rafe's jaw clenches, a muscle ticking in his cheek. despite that, his hand remains steady on your arm, offering you a silent anchor of support. you feel a knot tighten in your stomach as you testify the tension between the two most important men in your life escalates.
"guys, please," you interject, your voice trembling, "this isn't helping anything."
“you’re in love with her, cameron?”
topper’s question makes you want to dig a hole in the middle of your studio and run.
what the hell?!
he can’t just barge in and make everything a mess. this is what you were afraid of, people meddling with your relationship. you and rafe haven’t discussed it yet. yeah it’s clear you’re in love with him, but you want to be the one to tell him and vice versa. you don’t want him to feel pressured to do it.
rafe's hand tightens on your arm, anchoring himself with the feeling of you beneath his fingertips. his eyes search yours for guidance. you can see the conflict in his expression.
he doesn’t shy away from the question, and his gaze never leaves yours. he traces every line of your face, “yeah, i am.”
the words hang in the air, a declaration that changes everything and nothing all at once. then time stops. your stomach turns unhelpfully, and you feel your skin turn clammy. 
from the corner of your eye, you see the shock register on your brother’s face before he can hide it. strangely, he seems to understand now, perhaps more than you realized he would. for a moment, there's silence in the room, the weight of rafe's confession settling over all of you. but then topper lets out a heavy sigh, his shoulders sagging with the weight of understanding.
"okay," he says, his voice softer now, lacking the edge of anger from before. "okay."
you let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding, feeling a sense of relief flood through you. despite the uncertainty of what comes next. 
rafe's hand finds yours, intertwining his fingers with yours in a silent gesture of solidarity. you squeeze his hand, feeling the warmth of his touch grounding you. 
"thank you," you say to topper, your voice barely above a whisper but brimmed with gratitude.
he nods, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "just... take care of each other, okay?"
“can you leave now?” rafe all but interrupts the sentimental exchange, “kinda need to properly confess.”
topper raises an eyebrow at his abrupt request, clearly caught off guard by the bluntness. but after a second of hesitation, he nods, pushing himself off the wall where he's been leaning.
"yeah, sure," he says, giving you a meaningful look before turning to leave. "just... be careful, both of you. i’ll stop by later for dinner."
you offer him a small smile in return, feeling a shit ton of emotions swirling inside you as you watch him go. once he's out of sight, you let out a sigh, the tension in the room finally dissipating.
rafe releases your hand, moving to close the door behind topper before returning to your side. his expression is softer now, focused solely on you. 
"you okay?" he asks, his voice soft as he brushes a strand of hair away from your face.
you nod, offering him a shaky smile. "yeah, think so. that was... unexpected."
rafe pulls you into his arms, holding you close as if he never wants to let you go. 
"m’ sorry peach," he murmurs against your hair, his voice filled with regret. "didn't mean to drop that bomb on ya like that."
you sink into his embrace, finding comfort in the warmth of his body and the steady beat of his heart. "t's okay," you whisper, your voice barely audible as you nuzzle into his chest. "just wish it had been different."
he presses a kiss to the top of your head, arms tightening around you protectively. "i know," he murmurs, his voice a soothing balm to your frazzled nerves.
then, as if a floodgate has opened within you, the words spill from your lips, raw and unfiltered. "i’m in love with you too, rafe."
his arms around you tighten, as if to reassure himself that your words are real. 
"i love you," he murmurs against your hair, "more than anything."
you feel tears prickling at the corners of your eyes, “you’re gonna make me cry.”
he pulls back slowly, cupping your face in his hands and wiping away the tears that have started to fall. "hey now, no tears, baby. only happy ones, yeah?"
you nod, sniffling but managing a watery smile. "yeah, happy tears. because i love you, rafe cameron."
he smiles back, a gentleness in him you've never seen before. 
"and i love you, more than anything in this world."
you can't help but lean into his touch, feeling the warmth of his palms against your cheeks. his stare is full of tenderness, his thumb gently brushing away the last traces of tears.
"you're everything, y’know that?" he murmurs, his voice overflowing with sincerity.
you nod, feeling a lump forming in your throat at the depth of his words. "yeah, i do. and so are you.”
he leans in closer, lips capturing yours in a sweet kiss. he moves against you with a gentle fervor, his hands cradling your face as if you're the most precious thing in the world to him. and in that moment, you know without a doubt that you are and as you pull away, breathless yet content, you rest your forehead against his, savoring the closeness and the warmth that surrounds you.
"i love you," you whisper.
"i love you too, always," rafe replies, his voice a gentle caress against your skin.
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gglitch1dd · 1 year
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I've been having a Golden retriever izuku type of boyfriend brain rot 🥺🤧
Well... looks like I know what Im posting for the week. Sorry for not responding sooner. Life has been a whirlwind and I haven't been able to get to everything yet.
Warning: Some suggestive content and mentions of a breeding kink. NO SMUT OR NSFW.
Izuku Headcannons.
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Now Izuku is such a sweetheart. It is one of the very well known things about him. He's kind and sweet, caring, great with kids... suspiciously like a dog. You didn't really notice his rather happy-go-lucky instincts until you really watched him.
For starters, Izuku loves bringing you food. His mother always used to bring him snacks or make him meals whenever he was sad, celebrating something or for any occasion really. Especially since it was just him and his mom most of the time, he learnt a lot of skills from her. Expect him to try and make you stuffed and happy.
... in both ways.
When you are happy, he's happy.
Izuku has been through a lot in his life and often than not those memories and dark moments don't just go away. They build and they effect him more than people think. Having someone else to focus on is sometimes better for him than focusing on the past. Which is why he loves making memories with you in the present. Seeing that smile on your face makes all his hard work and dedication so much worth it.
He has this huge smile and laugh that he does, a full one that makes even the grumpiest of people smile just slightly. A sparkling smile that never fails to make you smile. That's one of the things you love about him.
As I said earlier, he's been through a lot of shit. His eyes don't shine as bright as they used to, he doesn't smile as bbrightly and as often as he used to, and he is really good at hiding his true intentions. But all it takes is one nice long hug and that big exterior comes crumbling down to the same green haired boy who doubted himself because everyone else did too. He just needs so much love and comfort.
Talking about love and comfort, he'll give it to you endlessly. He will shower you with it. Every second day he has a fresh bouquet of roses for you and if not, a potted plant to grow instead. He takes you out on routinely dates as often as he can. He tries to always show you off. He doesn't like boasting about his accomplishment unless its to Kaachan's face, but he does love showing you off. I mean look at you!!
He loves just laying in the sun, on your lap, in your big garden with all the many rabbits you both have. When you met Izuku he had one rabbit. Then you bought a rabbit. Suddenly you lost count, which was one of the reasons why you had to move out of your apartment and get a space all to yourselves. All for the rabbits that swarmed your house like the plague.
Not because Izuku's breeding kink (He's a bunny too after all) was pressing him into thinking about getting more space for the family the two of you were gonna have.
Of course not.
Sometimes he would do the most simplest things and come show you because he just loved your attention and approval. He's really just a really big himbo who comes trudging to you from the kitchen, covered in flower and icing somehow ending up on his nose and sprinkles in his hair and in his large scarred hands is a green frosted cupcake. He would bestow it upon you like an offering and with your praise he would just beam and get you seven more.
Refers back to giving you tons of food.
He's a big bulky hero. He has to gain mass. So prepare yourself for a stocked fridge and constant food offerings.
But one you cook, he loves to sway in the kitchen with you. With his hero suit still on, white cape, lined in gold on his back, the pot brewing with who knows what you were cooking, he would pull you to his chest and slow dance with you. He wants to hold you and just enjoy your presence. Close his eyes and put his head on top of yours and want the world to just disappear.
Even though he was the number One hero and he was a very busy man because of it, he was your Izuku. He was your partner.
He would trade in One for All just to be able to kneel at your feet and praise you.
Cause that's just the type of person Midoriya Izuku is.
-Glitch1d
<Izuku Midoriya Masterlist>
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f1nalboys · 1 year
Text
Come Inside - Chad Meeks-Martin
Chad Meeks-Martin x Fem!AFAB!Reader
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hi guys. this is the fic that was giving me a massive amount of brain rot today!!! i dreamt this (yeah im lucky i know thank you) and havent been able to stop thinking about it since <3 shout out to tatianna (@castieltrash1) for reading it and doing some editing for me, she is the loml and u all need to follow her NEOW! (in fact, she has a charlie from scream 4 fic in the works and its DELICIOUS.) anyways hope u all enjoy this :3
WORD COUNT: 5384 (I KNOW TRUST ME)
WARNINGS: nsfw, first time sex, dub-con except not really?, chad begs to fuck the reader, male manipulator core, 'just the tip' turns into the full thing, unprotected sex, oral (afab and amab recieving,) dirty talk, praise, slight body worship, slight corruption, slight convincing so again, dub con to be safe, high/drunk sex, reader is more high than chad but neither are drunk but they drank if that makes sense, friends to lovers, im just in love with him you guys! reader wears a dress, chad calls reader good girl and pretty girl. actually proofread bc tati is a saving grace angel lady. <3
You feel him before you hear him. You’re at the bar, nursing your first drink of the night, trying to ignore the dull thud the music was giving you when suddenly there’s a large hand placed on the small of your back. “Can I get another beer?” Chad asks the bartender and you feel yourself relax at the sound of his voice, goosebumps rising on the exposed flesh of your arms as his thumb absentmindedly runs up and down. “Hey.” He tilts his head at you a bit. “Nice earrings.”
“Hi. I could say the same to you.” You look up at him and grin, matching his own wide and easy smile. Chad’s standing right beside you, toned body pressed against yours and you don’t know if it’s on purpose or just due to the crowd. “You having fun?” you ask as the bartender hands him the beer bottle. Chad takes a sip from it, looking down at you, grinning against the glass when he notices you watching the way his lips curve against the opening.
It was no secret in the group that you had a crush on Chad. It was hard not to have one on him; he was kind, funny, handsome as hell, and he always seemed to know just the right thing to say. “Now I am,” he teases and you roll your eyes, turning away from him to hide your grin. Just like that. “I’m getting fuckin’ bored though. Too many people. How about you? You find any lucky guys, Y/N?”
“Lucky guys?”
“You know, to take home?” He wiggles his eyebrows for added effect when you look back up at him. “I’m trying to ask if you’re gonna fuck someone tonight.” You nearly choke on your drink and he laughs, deep in his chest, and his hand which was still on your back begins to rub soothing circles. His hands are rough and calloused from his time playing football and they’re so big, with long thick fingers, and suddenly you’re shaking your head in an attempt to get the image of him using them on you, wherever he sees fit, out of your mind. “I take that as a no, then?”
You snort, shaking your head. “Yeah, no, not fucking anyone tonight,” you say, taking another sip of your drink and sighing. “And now my drink’s empty, the music here is too god damn loud, and you’re right, there’s too many fucking people here!” Shaking your head, you dig into the small clutch you had with you, fishing out a few dollar bills and placing them on the bar counter. “I think I’m gonna head out.”
“Can I walk you home?” Chad asks, finally removing his hand from your back as you slide out of the bar stool. Your eyebrows narrow in confusion. You had one drink, were the furthest from being drunk you had been in your entire college career, in fact, and you only lived five minutes down the road. “C’mon,” he says, shrugging his broad shoulders and flashing you that fucking smile that always made your knees weak. “It’s late, I just wanna make sure you get home alright.” 
You pretend to think on it, letting out a small ‘hmm’ noise as you tap a finger to your chin. “Fine, but you have to come inside and sober up a bit before you leave.” Chad’s smile doesn’t go away at your request. In fact, it seems to grow. He takes out his wallet and places a few bills beside yours, grabbing the bartender's attention and letting them know you both had paid off your tabs before holding his arm out for you to grab. You do so with a shy smile, trying to ignore the feeling of him under your fingertips, or how close you were to him, or how he kept looking down at you with a smile, or even how his eyes kept darting to your lips. Everything he did seemed to be a deliberate attempt to get you worked up and it always fucking worked.
He leads you out of the club with ease and before you know it you’re out on the New York street. “Which way?” he asks and you nod to the right, following beside him at a slow pace. It was a nice night, a cool breeze helping to offset the hot air that had permeated the city during the day, and the lights and noises of the city still awake helped set you at ease. “You really weren’t having fun in there, were you?”
“Why do you ask?” 
“Because we got out here and you relaxed like you had just gotten out of a fight or flight situation.” He laughs and you smile at the sound. Chad was always grinning, always smiling, but he had been through some tough shit. You used to wonder how he was able to keep this positive attitude but then decided to let it go and try not to dwell on it too much. 
“It was just… too much, you know? Lots of people, lights, that music-”
“I just think you’re old.” You elbow him in the side and he grins. “You are! You sound like my mom.” Chad sniffles and places his free hand on his back, slowing down to an almost complete stop, speaking with a crotchety old-lady voice. “Back in my day, we went to the sock hop! We were pulled by a horse and buggy, not these cars! Your music is too loud, Chady-kins, turn it down!”
You both fall into a fit of laughter, picking back up the original pace you had set. “Chady-kins? Oh, I’m so stealing that.” He shakes his head at you and you giggle, leaning further into his grip. “I mean it! And I’m telling your mom you called her old.” 
You stop walking, finally outside of your apartment building. “Too far,” he says, his smile dropping ever so slightly when you let go of his arm in favor of typing in your door code. “Am I still invited in?” he asks and you look over at him. He’s leaning against the old brick building, the lights of the restaurant across the street bouncing off of his skin and his smile and his eyes and you’re nodding, face burning hot. “Yeah?” His voice is deeper than it was just a moment before and it makes you swallow heavily.
All you can do is nod. 
“Good. M’glad. You know I’m not drunk though, right?” he says as you two walk into your apartment building. He lets you go first, leading the way, but you can feel his eyes on your ass each time you move. You not-so-subtly sway your hips as you walk and you swear you hear him suck in a breath. “Only had a beer and a half before we left, so, no real need to sober up.”
“I’m not drunk either. You can still hang out for a bit, though, if you want?” He hums in agreement and then you’re at your apartment, digging through your purse for your keys. “It’s a little messy in here,” you say sheepishly as you open the door, revealing the mess you had left behind in your attempt at getting ready to go out. Chad just laughs, kicking his shoes off at the door and locking it behind him. “I couldn’t figure out what to wear.”
Your heels are finally off and you hurry around, picking up the pile of clothes you had left on your bed and floor, shoving them in your closet and hamper. “Well I’d say you landed on something good,” Chad says from the kitchen, his voice muffled as he bends down and peers into your fridge. “Because you look fucking hot.” You squeak out a thank you and busy yourself at your desk, fixing up the few items you had left out and trying to ignore the butterflies in your stomach. 
“What are you doing?” you ask, poking your head over and seeing Chad in the living room. He turns around and holds up the ashtray you had left on your coffee table, an unsmoked blunt still on it. “You wanna smoke?” you ask and he nods. “Go ahead. You want something to drink?”
“Water’s fine. You’re not gonna smoke with me?”
“I don’t know,” you say, passing by him as you head into the kitchen to grab two water bottles for the both of you. “I get sorta… weird when I smoke.”
“Weird? Weird how?” Chad asks and you hear the sound of your lighter sparking as he sits back on your small couch with a groan. “Do you, like, talk about conspiracies or some shit? Because I’ve smoked with Mindy before and it’s either that or her talking about whatever girl she’s in love with that day.” You chuckle, face heating up as you turn around and see him on the couch. He’s sitting with his legs spread and you realize instantly how well-fitted his jeans are, tight around his thighs. His head is back on the couch looking up, eyes closed as he takes another hit. Smoke plumes around him in a lazy rolling fog. 
You nudge him with the bottle and he takes it with a thank you. Sitting down beside him, you tuck your legs up, knees pressed against his thigh. God, his thigh. You look away from them, opening up your own bottle of water and taking a few slow sips, the image of you riding his thigh, his hands on your hips, building in your mind. 
“So? How weird is weird?” Chad questions, holding the blunt out to you. You consider it for a second, eyes flicking between it and his face which was turned towards you. You couldn’t tell Chad that the ‘weird’ you got was different from what he was imagining. You didn’t spout off conspiracies about the government, or get paranoid. You got horny, and being around him would only make that ‘weirdness’ worse. The days alone when you would smoke, you’d find yourself in bed, hand between your legs, moaning his name. “C’mon.” 
It’s all the encouragement you need and you pluck it from his fingers and settle back into the faux leather of your couch. “There you go,” he says, taking the time to let his eyes drag down your body while you’re taking a hit.
The dress you wore fit you great, tight against your body, the color complimenting your skin tone. He hadn’t been able to take his eyes off of you since he saw you tonight from across the bar, nursing his drink for ten minutes before Mindy had shoved him towards you, telling him that if he didn’t make a move on you she would on his behalf. And now here he was, smoking with you, so close on the couch that he could practically feel your pulse under his skin. He wanted you so badly and everything that came with it, the good and the bad. 
The two of you pass the blunt back and forth a few times, talking about nothing in between, but you were being affected far more than Chad was. “Are you even inhaling?” you ask with a giggle, passing it back to Chad. He rolls his eyes, taking a large hit in order to prove that he was. “Alright, alright. Show off,” you mutter, blinking heavily. “How come it’s hitting me harder than you?” you whine, shaking your head when he offers the blunt back to you. “I can barely even think straight. M’all… fuzzy.”
“I’m cooler than you, duh,” Chad says with ease, taking a hit and waiting for your laughter to die down before blowing the smoke into your face. You let him, blinking, pupils wide. He thinks you look pretty normally, but he thinks you look beautiful like this. He leans over and places the roach onto the ashtray, sighing as he leans back, his left hand resting on your thigh. You swallow heavily, your vision fuzzy. Your dress had ridden up quite a bit now and his hand was so warm against your flesh. He’s looking at you with such an intense look it has you squirming, face hot when he laughs at you. “I wanna kiss you.”
You blink, sure you misheard him. “What?”
“I wanna kiss you. Like,” he laughs, shaking his head slightly. His brown eyes seemed to sparkle in the lamplight, the whites of his eyes red, pupils blown out. “So fucking bad.” His other hand, the one that had been resting on his thigh, comes up and he places it on your cheek. His thumb runs along your cheek, catching the corner of your mouth. His touch is gentle but everything is so intense still, your skin feeling like it’s on fire, burning against his own. “Can I? Please?”
You nod, closing your eyes when he grins and leans in. The kiss is slow, each movement of his lips done with a purpose. His hand drags from your cheek to the base of your neck, pushing you into his kiss, his touch, just a bit more. You follow his lead with ease, mind too hazy to try and take over. 
He pulls away for a moment to catch his breath, staring into your eyes. “Fuck,” he mutters and he’s kissing you again, harder this time, sloppy. His tongue is slipping inside your mouth and you let out a soft moan, his hand on your thigh dragging upwards, pushing past the fabric. “So fucking hot,” He mutters against your lips, and then you can feel the top of his fingers brush against your underwear, right over your hips, and you’re pushing his hand away gently. “What? You okay?”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m… I’m okay.” He’s still looking at you, hands dropping to his sides, and he looks worried. You can tell he’s wracking his brain for what he did, if he had gone too far somehow. “I’m a virgin.” You blurt it out and squeeze your eyes shut, embarrassed. When you had felt his fingers up your skirt it had hit you that if it continued he’d be touching you, that you want him to touch you, but that you weren’t sure if he’d want to.
“So?” Your eyes pop open. Chad is staring at you with a kind smile, dimple evident on his cheek, and you feel your face heat up. “I mean, I’m okay with it if you are, you know?” His hand’s on your leg again, fingers dragging up and down your thigh slowly. “Are you nervous about it?”
“I didn’t know if you’d be alright with it.”
“Well, I am. Besides, wouldn’t it be good to lose it to me?”
“What do you mean?”
Chad’s smile grows and he leans in, lips close to yours. You close your eyes, waiting for him to kiss you. “You know me, right?” You hum. You want him to kiss you again. “You trust me too, right?” Another hum and this time you're leaning in a little bit, a whine stuck in your throat when he pulls away. “Then you should know that I’d make you feel good. I’d take my time when I touch you,” His hand is up your dress again and your body jerks involuntarily into his touch. “That I’d take good care of you and your virgin pussy.” 
He brushes his fingers up your inner thigh and your legs spread instantly, giving him room. He grins at the sight of you, eyes closed, disheveled, breathing hard, legs spread and hand gripping his forearm. “Please?” you ask and then he’s kissing you, finally, and his fingers are brushing against your clothed clit. You keen into his touch, whining into his lips, but he doesn’t stop. 
His fingers begin to rub slow circles against you, a good amount of pressure, and it feels so different from when you touch yourself thinking of him. Maybe it’s the weed, maybe it’s the fact that this is happening, but everything is almost too much. You’re surrounded by him in every way possible, his very being filling your own body, replacing your own needs. All you want is for him to feel good, for him to moan, for him to gasp at each press of your hand against him, for him to be begging for more without even realizing he’s doing it. 
You want to make him feel as good as he’s making you feel.
“More?” Chad asks, parroting your own words back to you with a smile, taking his lips away from your own, his fingers speeding up. His nose is brushing against your neck before he’s kissing it, biting down against your pulse gently, soothing it with his tongue. “Bet you’re close aren’t you, Y/N?” His voice is right there in your ear, breath hot against your skin, but you can barely focus on that. “C’mon, be good for me and cum, okay? Please? Fuck, need you to cum so bad, baby.”
“Gonna-” Is all you get out before he’s biting down onto your neck again and pressing down hard onto your clit and then you’re cumming, nails digging into his arm, a moan stuck in your throat. “F-fuck, Chad, shit!” His fingers don’t slow down for a second but he’s moving off of you, pushing your dress up your body and pulling your underwear down in one fell swoop. 
He shoves your legs apart and you take a second to catch your breath, looking down at him as he slides down the length of the couch. His eyes are glued to your pussy, fingers swiping through your folds and popping them into his mouth with a groan. “Taste so fucking good, so sweet,” he says, prodding at your hole with his middle finger, looking up at you. “Can I taste you?”
You nod, heart hammering out of your chest, and watch as he leans in, breathing in deep, eyes fluttering closed. As his tongue flicks over your clit he pushes his finger inside you slowly, just to the first knuckle, and your hip bucks at the intrusion, forcing his thick finger deeper inside you. 
“Relax, it’s okay,” he soothes, watching your eyes squeeze at the feeling. His fingers were thick, stretching you out with just one, and his tongue kept moving, swirling around your clit and sending shockwaves up your body. You try to focus on relaxing your body and when he feels you do so he pushes his finger in all the way. “There you go, good girl,” he coos, spitting onto his finger as he begins to pump it inside you. 
Chad is moving slowly, finger pumping in and out at a snail's pace, tongue moving even slower somehow. It almost hurts how slow he’s going and you know it’s to prepare you, to make you want him more than you already did. He wanted you drunk on his touch. “Faster,” you gasp and you can feel him laugh against you. “More, please, Chad?” You feel another finger press at your hole and you could cry, your body begging for more. 
The stretch is only a little painful, his tongue helping to soothe the ache. You can feel the knot in your stomach growing with each quickening pump of his finger, each swirl of his tongue, and you swear you see stars when he scissors his fingers inside you. One of your hands grabs onto his head, pulling his head in closer to your cunt, hips rocking up to meet his fingers and tongue, grinding against him. 
You cum without warning, your cry caught in your throat when he pushes in a third finger. It was too much. Your brain was still fuzzy from smoking and everything he was doing to you was heightened. You could feel every taste bud on his tongue as he flicked it against your clit, every groove in his fingers as they pumped inside you. 
“Ok, ok, too much,” you get out and he stops, finally pulling away from you. His fingers are coated in your cum and you watch through heavy-lidded eyes as he sucks on one of his fingers, groaning at the taste of you, before holding his other two fingers out for you. They press against your lips and your mouth parts, tongue sticking out, and you wrap your lips around them as he pushes them inside. 
“Don’t you taste good?” he asks with a grin, leaning over you, his free hand resting on the arm of the couch beside your head. You hum, swirling your tongue around his digits. Your hands begin to fiddle with his belt, tugging at it, and he grins. “Wanna suck my cock, that it?” You nod, his fingers still inside your mouth, pressing down on your tongue. “Yeah, I bet you do. Bet you’ve thought all about my cock inside your pretty mouth haven’t you? Fuck, you’re so pretty, you know that?”
You grin, running your hand down his face, mimicking what he had done to you earlier, thumb brushing against the corner of his lips.“You’re pretty,” you say, compliment muffled by his fingers in your mouth, and he gives you a soft laugh, his head falling to hide his grin. He finally pulls his fingers out of your mouth, a small string of saliva connecting them to your lips. “Wanna touch you,” you whine, going back to working on his belt. 
“Whatever you want, baby,” he says, leaning back and shoving his jeans down. He leans backward on the couch, jeans tossed onto the floor, his cock straining against his underwear. You’re practically salivating by the time you are leaning over him, placing soft kisses over the fabric of his underwear, looking up at him through your lashes. “Hey, I didn’t tease you,” he says with a sigh, eyelids heavy with lust at the feeling. He had been hard since he kissed you and the taste of you was still lingering on his tongue and he swears it‘s fucking him up more than the weed did. 
You finally tug at his underwear, pulling them down just enough to pull his cock out. He grabs your wrist, turning your hand palm up and spitting in it, giving you a wink before leaning back, arms behind his head as he enjoys the show. “I’ve never…” you say, suddenly nervous. It was clear to you that Chad had experience in this regard with how easily he had made you cum and you were beginning to worry that you were in over your head, too nervous and inexperienced and high to make sure you did alright.
“That’s alright,” he says, giving you a soft smile, one that instantly quells your anxiety. “Just take your time with it, okay? There’s plenty of time for me to teach you, okay, pretty girl?” You nod, wrapping your spit-slick hand around his cock and he hisses, head tilting back as you begin to stroke him. You start off slow, tightening your grip at the base of his cock and loosening it when you get to the top, swiping your thumb over the tip. “Fu-uck,” he says, tripping over his words with a laugh and a thick swallow. “You sure you’ve never done this before? Feels fucking amazing, Y/N.” 
Leaning down, you keep your eyes on him as you lick over the tip of his cock, collecting the bead of precum there and swallowing it. He groans and you can feel him throb under your hand. You flatten your tongue and lick from the base of his cock up to the tip, following the prominent vein he had, and his hips buck at the feeling. This is exactly how you wanted him; his eyebrows scrunched together, eyes struggling to stay open at the feeling of you, him fucking into your fist with an eagerness he couldn’t control. You were making him feel good and fuck, it went straight to your cunt. 
You don’t try to take all of him in your mouth. It was like he said; there would be plenty of time for him to train your throat, just like he had always dreamt of. You keep your hand on him, moving at the same pace, and you take the tip of his cock in your mouth, swallowing around it. He was big, bigger than any toy you had used before at the very least, and when you take him a bit further down he bucks his hips, plunging his cock down your throat. You gag and pull off of him and he’s apologizing.
“Sh-shit, sorry! Sorry, Y/N, just, fuck, your throat felt so good, couldn’t help it. C’mere.” He pulls you in for a kiss and you know he’s sorry but even if he wasn’t you wouldn’t care. It hits you then, while his tongue is down your throat and his hand is cupping your cheek, that you’d let him do anything to you and that you’d thank him for it. “Can I fuck you?” he asks, pulling away from your lips and resting his forehead on yours. 
“I don’t know…” you start, chewing on your bottom lip. “You’re big… it’s gonna hurt.”
“How about just the tip, then? If you want more we’ll keep going, if not, that’s fine.” You ponder the offer for a second. He told you he’d take care of you, that he’d take his time, make sure it felt good for you. “Don’t you trust me, baby?” You do trust him. You know him, just like he said. You nod and he smiles. “Good girl. Okay, let's go to the bed, yeah? I’ll get you out of this sexy fucking dress and I’ll make sure you feel good, alright baby?”
He helps you stand and keeps kissing you, unzipping your dress as he moves you through the apartment, pulling your straps down. The dress is pulled off of you a second before your knees hit the back of the bed and you’re both falling onto it, giggling. “Hi,” you say, hands on his shoulders. He grins.
“Hi.” Chad stands, pulling his shirt off and tugging his underwear off, tossing both somewhere behind him. You both take a moment to stare at the other, nervous giggles leaving your lips. You had dreamt of this moment dozens of times before, had cum to it just as often, and now it was happening and it was somehow better than what you had ever thought up. “Look at you,” he says, hands dragging up your legs to your chest and back down again. He’s slotted in between your legs and you whine, wrapping one leg around him and pulling him in closer. “Use your words.”
It’s the first time he was really telling you to do something and you swallow heavily. “Please, Chad, can you?”
“Can I what?”
“Can you fuck me? Please? I want you to take my virginity so badly, I need it, please? I’ve thought about it so much, wanted it for so long.” You’re whining now, begging, and you swear you can feel the tears begin to fill your eyes. He’s smiling down at you and his eyes are so dark you’re not sure how much of his iris is left. Your legs spread for him when he nods and you watch with bated breath as he grabs ahold of his cock, spitting on it, before swiping up your slit.
He groans at the feeling. “So wet, baby. Bet your pussy will let me just slide right in.” He pushes the head of his cock in slowly and you gasp, tears filling your eyes at the stretch. It felt good but it hurt and you can feel him rocking his hips ever so slightly, pulling out and pushing back in, never going too far inside you. His hands are on your thighs, digging into your flesh, and you’re overwhelmed again. 
The two of you stay like this a moment, the head of his cock pushed inside, your cunt clenching around him desperately. When he leans down over you, resting his forearms beside your head, he pushes in just a bit more and you whimper at the feeling. Chad wipes a stray tear off of your cheek and kisses you, short soft kisses in an effort to distract you from the pain and him from the overwhelming urge to push all the way in.
“Can I move more?” he whispers against your lips and you shake your head a little, too fuzzy to really think about it. “Please?” he whines, nuzzling into your neck. “Don’t I feel good, baby? Doesn’t my cock feel good inside you?”
“It does-”
“It’ll feel even better all the way inside.” His voice sounds so desperate and now he’s rocking his hips further, plunging another inch inside you and you moan because he’s right, it does feel good. The burn and pain of the stretch have gone away, giving way to pleasure. You want more, you want him, you just don’t know how to say it. “Please, baby, fuck. Your cunt feels so good, so fucking tight and wet and fuckin’ perfect for me. Let me fuck you, god, I need it so bad. Don’t you trust me? You know I’ll take care of you, right?”
You nod, babble out some response close to ‘yes, please, more,’ and then he’s pushing all the way inside, hips snapping forwards. You yelp at the intrusion, caught off guard by how full you feel, and then he’s thanking you over and over and over again as he sets a brutal pace. Chad’s weight is fully on you, his arms wrapping around you to pull you even closer to him. He can’t get enough of your skin against his, of the noises you make, of the way your pussy clenches around him and pulls him in closer, milking his cock. 
“Thank you, oh fuck, thank you, Y/N. Christ, so tight.” His voice is cracking, raising an octave as he begins to lose himself in the feeling of you around him. The pain of his thrusts is quickly overtaken by the pleasure and you’re moaning, wrapping your legs around his hips, driving him deeper inside you. You both could die happy like this. “So close, fuck, how am I so close already?” He’s talking more to himself than you at this point and that’s okay because you’re too focused on the building pleasure in your gut to care. 
The position you’re in has his pelvis grinding against your clit with each thrust and you swear your mind melts just a little bit more each time he fucks into you. “Please, please, please,” you say and you’re not sure what you’re pleading for but all you know is you don’t want him to fucking stop. You’re right there on the edge, can feel it through your entire body, and then Chad is moaning your name loudly and you feel him cum inside you, hips flush against yours.
You cum at the feeling of him filling you and he whines, hips rocking as you pulse around him. He’s sensitive, his head swimming, and the two of you stay like that for a moment, his head in your neck and your arms and legs wrapped around him. “So good,” he finally says, pulling his head back to look at you, his eyebrows stitching together. “You okay? M’sorry, I got carried away, I didn’t even ask-”
“It’s alright,” you say, running your hands up and down his back. You can feel him shiver underneath your touch. “I liked it.”
“Yeah?” he teases, kissing you on the lips a few times, biting down on your bottom lip as he pulls back. “Wanna do it again?”
You gasp as his hips begin to move again, the squelch of your cunt and his cum being fucked back into you filling the room. “Y-you wanna go again? Already?” He nods, hand snaking down in between you two, pressing against your sensitive clit and grinning when you whine. “If you can handle it.” You nod despite not knowing if you could; he grins. “My good girl, right? Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you cum till you’re stupid. You’ll look so pretty when you’re dumb on my cock, won’t you?”
646 notes · View notes
jenniferjareauwife · 19 days
Note
JJ and Emily x reader where they find out that r smokes a ton of weed and like vapes and stuff when they thought she was really innocent maybe a few months into their relationship or a while in and she just didn't tell
(I completely understand if you can't do this request and If you can im fine with emily and jj together or separate and if both are too much you can choose one)
Sorry for the bother have a good day/night xx
High
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pairing: jennifer jareau x fem reader
category: fluff
warnings: weed, innuendo
word count: 601
summary: your girlfriend is shocked to find out that you get high
a/n: i don't write for emily so i only wrote it for jj. this was absolutely not a bother and please leave more requests if you have them!
I laid down on the couch, staring up at the ceiling as it swirled around, different colors everywhere. I smiled and laughed, the colors making weird shapes. "What are you laughing at?" I heard JJ's voice but I didn't care. She had never seen me like this and I was too stoned to care.
"Look at the shapes."
"What shapes?" She looked up at the ceiling, not seeing anything. "Are you ok baby?" She touched my shoulder and it felt like my skin was tingling under her touch, I leaned into her for more, her touch feeling euphoric.
"I'm great." I wrapped my arms around her waist and buried my face into the side of her leg as she stood next to the couch.
"What's happening?"
"Love you so much."
"I love you too baby." She reached down to pet my hair before kneeling down next to me. She wrinkled her nose once she smelt my breath. "What...oh my God. Are you high?" She shot up, her eyebrows raising in shock.
"What?"
"You're high!" She started laughing, putting her hand over her mouth. "Is this your first time being high?"
"No." I smiled up at her and made grabby hands, wanting the tingly feeling of her on my skin again. "Come back." She grabbed my hands and pulled me up, kissing me hard on the lips with a smile. "Do that again please."
"I didn't know you smoked weed." She whispered with a big smile.
"I do." I hugged her as tight as possible, relaxing against her body. "Is that weird?"
"No...no it's not I just never thought you would be one to do that." She held me against her tightly, stroking my hair.
"It makes me fuzzy."
"I can tell." She kissed the top of my head, I could imagine her smiling in my mind and it made me so happy. "Why are you so weirded out by me being high?"
"You just...I mean we've only been dating a few months and I guess I just never imagined that you'd be the kind of person to do it. I thought you were an innocent little baby." She kissed my temple, practically holding me up as I leaned my full body weight against her.
"Well...I'm not an innocent little baby." I giggled into her neck. "In bed...yes-"
"Oh my God shut up." She giggled, messing up my hair. "I'm gonna take you up to bed though, ok? It's getting late."
"Are you staying over?" I asked excitedly, wrapping my arms around her neck as she picked me up bridal style, carrying me
up my stairs into my bedroom.
"Of course I'm staying over babe."
"You're so nice. I love you so much." I made grabby hands for her once again as she laid me down in bed.
"I'll be back in a minute honey. I'm gonna brush my teeth and change into something more comfy."
"But I want you." She blushed.
"If you're always this cuddly while you're high I definitely want to see this more often." She kissed my forehead. "I'll be right back. Don't worry and don't go anywhere." I pouted but stayed where I was.
She came back five minutes later, pulling me on top of her while she laid on her back. I smiled happily and hummed, my brain going fuzzy as she left loving scratches on my back. "I love you so much baby." I blushed, my entire face turning red. It seemed like every compliment and every touch from her was intensified and it was almost overwhelming but I welcomed it.
"I love you too."
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1427 · 1 month
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When the Levee Breaks (pt. 5)
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Daryl Dixon x OFC
Story Summary: The one in which a stripper that used to know Merle and Daryl shows up at the Atlanta camp. Daryl’s feelings are complicated but mostly he hates her, right?
Chapt Setting: The Farm/Woods
Chapt Warnings: pretty explicit drug use (meth), season 2 Daryl, degrading/sexist language (he’s starting to get better lol), SOPHIA CHAPTER (I think that deserves a warning)
Word Count: 2.7k
A/N: Daryl’s POV story. Daryl’s starting to be less of a dick, trying really hard to make it feel organic/make it make sense in the story. Idk. This chapter was really rough to write because… it made me sad. Also have no idea if it even makes sense (the hallucination bit, really hope it does) lol ALSO; I looked up some timeline stuff and i just?? Really thought Daryl was out there for days on his own? But apparently he wasn’t? We’re just gonna say that he is in this story. 🤷🏼‍♀️ I can only do so much when the timeline of TWD is fucking stupid sometimes. (I mean it. Come for me. Idc. Rick was in a coma for 59 days without food or water???!?!!!? Bye)
masterlist
17+ mdni (no smut in this one tho sorry)
Like fiberglass in my veins, it tears through me. Mellow, at first, almost think I should rail more before I can feel myself sweatin’. Different kinda sweat, comin’ from my fuckin’ soul. 
Haven’t felt like I was doin’ something ‘wrong’ since I was little. That feeling that ch’ya get when you’re doin’ somethin’ ya know you’re not s’possed to. This ain’t the first time I done spazz, but maybe it’ll be the last. The anxiety about doin’ it goes away the second I feel the devil kick me through my nose to the back of my brain. Even though I know it’s comin’, it always feels like gettin’ skullfucked by satan. 
Been out here for a day. I brought Merle’s shit with me because I decided to finally get rid of it somewhere. But I got somethin’ that needs doin’. And anyway, I got years of experience with ice. Not doin’ it. Sometimes doin’ it. Never let Merle know, he’d’ve made some big whoop ‘bout it. And everytime he’d gone and done more than he remembered, he woulda blamed me. Shit though, sometimes it was. 
M’not like Merle and Beatle. Ain’t an addict. Can do shit and put it down. Always been able to put it down. Figured other people could too, that they just didn’t wanna. ‘m not sure, but still kinda think that. 
Never felt fuckin’ guilty about it before, though. Fuckin’ Beatle. I’unno if it’s cuz I’d be done with her if she did the same shit, or if it’s cuz I know if she knew that I was - she’d be mad at me. Mad I didn’t invite ‘er. 
But this shit ain’t for fuckin’ playtime. Only reason ‘m even doin’ it i’so I can find Sophia. So I can stay awake, focus, and get ‘er back. They use ta use this shit in war. War’s the reason methamphetamines even exist. Nazi’s? Hell, every single one of ‘em in WWII. Kamikazi’s loaded up, totally fuckin’ wasted outta their minds on crystal while they bolted ‘em in. Kept ‘em awake, kept ‘em happy, kept ‘em focused on the mission. Tha’s what I gotta do. 
I can’t stop lookin’ til I find ‘er. Sophia. ‘m the only one that can, only one that knows how. And anymore, ‘m the only one that seems to give a shit. ‘Sides Carol. And Beatle. She wanted ta come. Told her she’d only slow me down. Distract me. Drawn more geeks. She woulda. Told her I didn’t need food either but she packed me some anyway. Knew I wasn’t gonna be hungry. Knew I was gonna use this dumb shit to help. But whatever. 
Doesn’t matter what happens to me, right? My life’s not worth nothin’, not compared to that little girl. Now that her old man’s outta the picture she actually got a chance. Maybe not mucha one, not the way shit is these days. But she got ‘er mom. And ‘er mom can actually be ‘er mom now. Not scared of some piece’a shit prick that finally got what was comin’ to ‘im. 
Man fuck that guy.
The trail I’m followin’ disappears so I backtrack to the mangroves where I found her doll and try to find another one. 
I start to wonder what kinda old man Beatle had. What kinda mom? Startin’ ta realize I don’t know a damn thing about Beatle. I know she likes drinkin’, she likes laughin’, she likes fuckin’ with me. But… 
Beatle keeps surprisin’ me. Not just because she let me hump her face a few days ago, the fact that she liked it, shit I haven’t even had a second to process that. Nah, more cuz she hasn’t brought it up. Hasn’t tried to hold my hand again. Hasn’t been annoyin’ me nearly as much. Not even at all, if ‘m honest. 
My brain’s goin’ a million miles a fuckin’ second over Beatle and what happened between us. Not just the other night, but back then. Got questions that need answerin’ but she ain’t here. Try to keep myself occupied with trackin’ but it ain’t like trackin’ takes much thinkin’. Follow every trail I pick up, but none of ‘em lead me to Sophia. 
I’d prob’ly start gettin’ really frustrated about this, but that’s what crystals good for. All the dopamine I need, and nothin’s annoyin’. Focus.
✨🏹 
Bent branches, wilted leaves, mud impressions, walker guts. Trees and rocks and blood and mud and dirt and greens and browns and reds and blacks. And it’s dark and it’s light and it’s dark. And it smells fuckin’ rotten. Bent branches, wilted leaves, another trail, another dead end, another undead shithead. Bent branches, wilted leaves, mud impressions, Beatle. 
How many times did I go into Merle’s bag and take the devils dick up my nose? Cuz Beatle’s standin’ here right in front of me. ‘Cept she’s all done up in makeup and glitter and her pupils are the size of dimes. Little pink crop top, tiniest pair’a daisy dukes I ever seen. ‘n she’s in my face sayin’ the shit I been thinkin’ about her sayin’ since that day she said it. 
“I like you, Dar.” 
“You like bein’ fucked up more.” I say it like I said it the last time. 
“That’s not true! I mean - I like you, Daryl.” She steps closer, tries to put her hand on my cheek before I brush her off. She slumps back a little, turning away. “You like me, too. You said it.” 
My hearts in my fuckin’ throat and I’m standin’ there, this can’t be fuckin’ happening. I know is’not but doesn’t make it feel any less real. “Tha’ was before I really knew ya, Beatle.” 
Hate that I said that to ‘er. Did I really say that? Cuz maybe that’s how I felt. Hell, maybe that’s how I felt last week. But it ain’t fair. I don’t know her. Still. Now. Don’t know ‘er at all. Thought I did. Thought I understood what kinda girl did those kindsa things. Is that really what I said? Fuck.
She’s still turned away from me, but I walk the half circle around to look at her face. And she’s sobbing. Silently, trying to stay as still as possible. I… I don’t remember this part. Maybe I didn’t see it? Nah, I saw it. Just didn’t care. Didn’t wanna look at ‘er. Didn’t want to hear her lame ass confession. Especially after she’d brought up that I told ‘er I liked ‘er. She sniffles and wipes her face before she pulls a bubble pipe out of the waistband of her shorts and lights the bottom, starts smokin’ it. She asks if I want a hit, like last time. 
I go to say no, but the words don’t come out. Instead my hand reaches for it. I look back up and Beatle’s dressed all different. Baggy jeans and a bikini top. That night. Fuck. Shit. I don’t want to relive that night. 
“I promise, I won’t tell Merle.” She says, handing me her lighter. And I smoke it. Inhaling the vapor slowly like she had. “You gotta sip at it, like it’s a coffee and you’re drinking the air to see if it’s still too hot. Roll the bowl or it will burn.” I do it the way she says. She’s like ten years younger than me, but she looks at me - talks to me like it don’t matter. Like she don’t see it that way. Guess I don’t either, never really did. 
I’d never wanted to smoke it before. But that night I wanted to. With her. Woulda done anything she’d asked that night ‘fore she ruined it. I ruined it. Til it got all fucked up an’ it was never the same again. Not the way I saw her, not the way she looked at me. 
I’m goin’ through memories like they’re happening all over again. Feelin’ fuckin’ sick. I don’t wanna remember this. 
I hand the pipe back to her and she asks, “How do you feel?” 
“Fine.” 
“Just fine?” She smiles. 
“Good.” I clarify. 
“Good.” 
Don’t say it. Don’t say it. Don’t say it. “I think I like you, Beatle.” 
She laughs too hard, “you think?” I feel myself getting sicker and angry again all at once. 
I split in half. One half feelin’ those same feelings I felt. That this conceited fuckin’ bitch really acts like everyone likes her. I hear her words and it sounds like she’s sayin’ ‘well obviously’ - but the other halfa me hears it like a real question. Like she wanted ta know what I meant. I don’t remember how I responded then, but I can hear myself say it, “Self-obsessed cunt.” 
Beatle laughs, “Is that what you like about me?” 
My misunderstanding continues; Thought she was pickin’ on me. Makin’ funna me. All these years. All this time. Thought she was fuckin’ laughin’ at me. Never told a girl I liked her. Not that I never did like one, just never told ‘em. Not like some teenage fuckin’ confessional. And I do and what?  she just laughs.  
Shit. 
Cuz inside ‘m screaming. Screamin’ at myself ta say somethin’ different. To jus’ tell her. She’s special, she’s exciting, and when she smiles at the shit I say it makes me feel like I’m the only one in the fuckin’ world to her. Tha’s what she wants ta here. Tha’s why she’s askin’. 
“Nah. Forget it.” She nods, and I thought she did forget it.  She forgot until she brings it up again in the memory I already re-lived. 
Tha’s how I was so damn sure she didn’t give a single shit about if I liked her or not. Didn’t bring it up again for months. Didn’t give a single shit about me at all. Felt stupid for ever thinkin’ she might. Just a dumb crush on a dumb girl, and I forgot everything about it. An’ every little thing she did that made me like ‘er ended up as somethin’ else I hated.  And every time I saw her after that she was fucked up on somethin’. Meth or booze or weed. Usually all three. 
It comes at me like a fuckin’ freight train, her lips crashing into mine, but this time I want it. Don’t wanna stop kissin’ ‘er. Instead my arms move and I push her down to the ground. She’s wearing the crop top again, can tell she’d been cryin’. She’s layin’ there in the rocks lookin’ up at me and I flash back to the living room where this happened, where she’d told me she liked me back. I wanna beat the shit outta myself for makin’ her look like that. 
How didn’t I see it? 
I did see it. I just didn’t care. Thought I knew what kinda girl did those kinds’a things. 
Wonderin’ what kind of old man she had. What kinda boyfriends before she met me. How maybe she’s just as fuckin’ scared’a feelin’ stuff as I am. How maybe it took her months to even get up the courage to tell me after I’d told ‘er never mind and slowly started to hate her. How many’a those drinks were for courage? How many’a those hits were cuz she was nervous?
Shit. 
And she’s runnin’ away like she did then. Away from me an’ outta my life until a few weeks ago. I know it ain’t real but I run after her anyway. Screamin’ her name into the open air like maybe somehow I can change it if I can get her to come back. But she’s gone and ‘m still running tryin’ to find her. Screaming for her ‘til my throats hoarse. 
‘Til the walkers hear me. 
✨🏹
Andrea fuckin’ shot me. What is wrong with this fuckin’ group?
✨🏹
Beatle’s in the bedroom with me but I can’t look at ‘er. Don’t wanna. Feels like she knows what I was doin’ out in them woods without ‘er. Like she can see the dirty shit in my soul and for some reason it makes me ill. Can’t look at ‘er. Knowin’ I hurt ‘er like that all that time ago. Knowin’ it now like I ain’t ever known anything else. 
It’s just me ‘n her and she doesn’t try to talk to me. Just lets me lay there hatin’ myself for all of it. Didn’t even find Sophia. 
Spent a lot of my days in my life hatin’ myself. Thinkin’ I was good for nothin’. Now ‘m sure of it. 
I feel the bed move under the weight of her. She hugs herself around me, and like some pathetic kid I fuckin’ cry. Don’t know if she can tell or not but she tries comforting me anyway. “It’s okay, Dar. You did your best.” Her voice… how could I have ever thought it was annoying? Her bein’ so nice just makes me hate myself more. 
“Lea‘me alone, Beatle.” Shakin’ her arm out from around me. She gets off the bed and sits back in the chair she’d been in. God, I fuckin’ hate myself. Wanna scream No, come back. I didn’t mean it. 
Still got question’s that need answerin’. This time Beatles right here, and I ain’t got nothin’ to lose. “Why were you naked in Merle’s room?” Grateful that she’s sittin’ behind me. Don’t think I could talk to ‘er ‘bout this stuff if she was lookin’ at me. Right now? If I saw her face? Don’t think I could talk at all. 
She laughs. Fuck her stupid fuckin’ laugh. “I still can’t believe you think I fucked around with Merle.” 
“Why not? Y’all hung out every other day.” My voice is sharp, feels like she’s laughin’ at me again. Always feels like everyone’s laughin’ at me. 
“We all hung out every other day, Dar.” 
“Stop callin’ me tha’.” 
“I was carpet surfing. Your dumbass brother spilled all the schkag all over the damn place.” 
Oh…. But, “Ya didn’t have any clothes on.” 
“I never had any clothes on, Daryl. You sure I wasn’t just wearing something ‘slutty’? You know, like you always said I was? Cuz I don’t remember, but I’ve never been naked with Merle. Ever. Sounds fuckin’ gross.”
Oh. 
It made sense. Makes so much sense, ‘specially now. She keeps talkin’ an’ ‘m grateful cuz if I tried to say anything else I’d start fuckin’ cryin’ again. “I liked you, man. I…” she stops herself. Wanna beg her to keep goin’ but I can’t. 
Instead I ask ‘er the only question I got left, “Why’d ya leave, then? Ya left ‘n ya never came back.” 
She’s silent for a long time. “When you and Merle moved, where’d you go?” 
She did come back. 
“Why’d ya leave, Beatle?” Doesn’t matter where Merle and I went. She’s avoidin’ the question. 
“Got sober. After that night… with you. Wanted to get sober. Wanted to…” she don’t say the rest but she don’t need to. I got it. Fuck, my heart can’t take it. 
“Cuz I said ya liked gettin’ fucked up more than ya liked me.” It ain’t a question. I know. 
“Think it was more the other thing you said.” 
Tha’ was before I really knew ya, Beatle. I can still taste the words. “Shouldn’t’a said that to ya.” My voice is barely a whisper. 
She gets back up on the bed and puts her arm around me again, this time I don’t shake her away. Her voice, so close to my ear, “I didn’t want to tell you that I came back. I didn’t want you to know that I got sober for you.” 
What? “Why not?” 
“Wasn’t sure you’d care. And if you did… I didn’t want you to have all the what-ifs in your head that I have in mine.” 
She hugs herself into me so tight it’s hard to breathe, and she tells me, “It doesn’t matter anymore.” 
I feel guilty, can’t take any of that back. Can’t make any of it better. I don’t deserve this. Her. After all the nasty shit I ever thought about her. After what I did to her the other night. I can’t bring myself to tell her to leave cuz I know she wants to be here. Don’t wanna make her cry again. 
So I let her hold me. Even though I don’t fuckin’ deserve it. 
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soobiri · 3 months
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Our princess
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ENHYPEN Xfem!idol!reader
Summary° you, the perfect Y/N from the popular Korean pop group, ENHYPEN, is asked to describe your ideal type on an interview... what will happen??
Warnings:Reader is implied to be shorter than all members, reader is younger than Hyung line,petnames will be used, not proof read.lmk if I missed anything!!!
Genre:fluffy fluff, 8th member of enha,one-shot( my attention span is to small I'm sorry)
(💌): SHURRUP YALL... MY BRAIN IS NOT WORKING SO IM STRUGGLING TO WRITE ATM( even though nobody interacts with my blog🙂🤚) SO PLZZ SEND REQUESTS
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"Okay, Y/N, since your new to enhypen we want to ask you a few questions, while your members are still around." The interviewer spoke in such a calm tone, yet still excited to hear your answer. You never actually did a proper interview before, and especially not infront of the guys either, so you weren't as prepared as you would have hoped to be.
"so what was your first thought when you saw the boys and found out you would be apart of the group?" The interviewer asked with a wide smile, you wished you could just Slap the smile off his face, cuz at this moment you were NOT smiling inside. "Oh- uh well i-" you looked back at Jake as if the answer would some how be on his face, he nodded his head forward,as if to tell you to proceed further with what you were doing. " i was nervous before hand I suppose but after a while I guess I got to know them really well" you were soooo proud of yourself (I am too) for answering the question, even though it was t that big of a thing.the interviewer smiled at you and showed a thumbs up, signalling that you were doing great. "Next question?" He raises his eyebrow, you nodded, as a clear sign that you were prepared (bitch we know you weren't) "many fans, and even myself also actually wonder-"he let out a little chuckle, you were starting to get nervous. " What is Y/L/N Y/N's ideal type!" Shit, you didn't know what you were gonna say, you were officially on the verge of a panic attack. "O-oh Uhm- Do I have to-" just as you were about to finish your question he cuts you off. "Oh not just yet, come stand here in front for us,put you on the spot haha," that chuckle, that stupid chuckle. As you hesitantly stood up you looked back at jungwon "I don't wanna do this" "you have to" you guys were practically whisper fighting. "But-" "Uhm, Y/N, we're waiting on you" you rolled your eyes at jungwon and slowly stepped towards the front. He asked the question again "what do youu think your ideal type is?" You thought... For about 1 sevond before blabbing out "well anyone who's taller than me-" you stopped yourself, knowing you had said enough.
Riki clears his throat loudly, purposefully even. He stands up and walks up behind you."I'm taller Do I count?" He says with the most cheesy grin ever while towering over you with his large structure, you were stuck in one place only able to let out a "oh,ha,yeah-" before you felt your older member stand on your other side, "and what about me then? Pretty big difference if Ya ask me, huh Y/N?" Jake found it an appropriate time to chime in, not knowing he had started a new cycle and trend, soon all of the members were huddled around you, all with the same intentions, That's when heeseung decided to stand up from his seating arrangement, he issued Jake to go away, almost has if he was a fly, as Jake and the other boys moved back, heeseung swooped his arm around your waist, "now I think I'm the princess's ideal type".
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anime-grimmy-art · 4 months
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It’s this time of the year again, folks. Time to wrap up the art Ive made in the last 12 months in another Year in Review! I’ve noticed that this is my fifth Year in Review in a row, so I’ll be making an extra post looking back on the progress in those last 5 years!
I've got a lot to say about this year, but purely art wise, I've gone all when it comes to comics, damn! I've kinda found a format that is messy, and therefore more time efficient, yet still looks good. I even made 2 animatics and lotsa shorts/reels! All that on top of opening coms twice, and, oh yeah, MAKING A WHOLE ASS 4MIN ANIMATION ON MY OWN.
How is my hand still alive.
2023 has been….interesting, to say the least. The first half year I was working on my thesis project, aka making an animated short all on my own (in the art department), which makes it honestly surprising how much I managed to churn out between animating. Trigun rly did have me in a choke hold.
Summer was a bit more spotty, esp. with me not being able to draw anything during August as I was writing my thesis (and doing commissions). And towards the end of the year, Kingdom Hearts tried to save me, but alas, Genshin Impact has finally sunk its teeth into me and dragged me to the bottom of the rabbit hole. It all started with me watching a story summary and lore videos while I was sick after my thesis and I was too intrigued to not dig deeper and well, first I fell in love with Kaeya and then the ships started dropping in left and right.
I’m not gonna lie, the last few months have been weird. I finished my masters in October, and have been on job hunt since, sadly without success so far. I’m existing in this weird limbo of still not grasping I’m not a student anymore after 18 years in education, not really being able to accept I’m an adult, yet desperately trying to find something so I can make a routine, cos rn Im too scared to build a rhythm as I know I’ll have a so much harder time readjusting again. It’s left me in a weird emotional state, where most of the time I feel fine, but when it counts, there’s just, nothing. No joy at getting my diploma, no anticipation to finally go to a convention again, neither any sadness hearing my grandfather died. It frustrates me that it extends to my art as well, there’s excitement over ideas and concepts, but no motivation to pick up the pencil, which makes me either not finish art at all or making so many shortcuts and just ending up with sth not satisfactory to me since it’s not the idea I sought after.
Tho, not everything is doom and gloom. I DID finish a whole ass short animation and got my masters degree, that IS sth to be proud of. Also, while Im struggling at drawing, I’ve also kinda started integrating my shortcuts into my style and some stuff I’ve thrown together actually turns out real good nowadays. Also, and this might be a bit of a weird one, I’m so fucking happy to know I can still enjoy gay ships. I’ve been a bit uncertain over the last few years because when I was around 16-18, I had a real big yaoi phase, which mostly came from the fact so much stuff came out that tickled my brain in the right way (Free, Haikyuu, etc.). But over the years, my enthusiasm died down, and I even started to resent some ships because it’s all some fandoms produced. I often found myself liking a hetero ship more than the popular gay ship, which really made me not wanna stick around because I did not care for most fanart and you can only go through a tag with art you don’t care about so long before you lose interest. I think in retrospect that it rly had nothing to do with the ships being gay ships but rather cos the fans just shoved it in your face when you didn’t care (and shipping culture nowadays also can get real scary). But I’m so happy to see I can still get obsessed with a ship and it’s all thanks to Haikaveh/Kavetham. It really just needed the right flavour for me to dig in again. And oh my god, I FINALLY like a ship with a SHIT TON of art and fanfictions, no more scrounging the crumbs from the bottom of the barrel. 
Anyways, enough lamenting. Here’s to hoping I can bite my tongue and get shit started properly in 2024, and that my brainrots may make me obsessed enough to churn out an obscene amount of fanart again.
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hungharrington · 8 months
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i would uh.. like to put my own little menace!steve in bed thoughts out here.. they will make ZERO sense and will be all jumbly n gross but it’s like midnight n i have to be up at 6am so BE KIND <3
as someone who is 100% very shy/extra nervous at first, no noise, trying to mask facial expressions and hide parts of my body. this type of reader especially?? oh ho ho
menace!steve doubles as sorta loving!perv!steve. he can and will fantasise abt cumming on ur tummy and move his way up the best he can - still cumming - until he shoots some onto ur boobs as well. on his come down, all out of breath and smiling with his eyes closed, he can’t wait to open em and see ur blushy, shocked little face, and ropes across ur chest, across ur tummy, maybe he even dribbled some across ur pussy cus he didn’t time it right and shot a bit early (no complaints)
menace!steve who is all slow thrusting with his entire body, borderline begging u to take the big shirt off, he wants to see you all bare so bad.. he’s naked and skin on skin would feel so much better for u baby! steve who, when little noises do embarrassingly slip out, he lights up, copies em; he’ll nudge ur nose with his as ur eyes try and screw shut from embarrassment, his own eyebrows knit up in mocking and his pout mirroring the one he saw, all oh did that feel good sweetheart? oh, it felt so good right there, huh? look at me, look at me.. look at me, or im gonna make u cum.. right now.. so close to me, make u cum with my face so close to urs huh? with his hand trailing down towards ur clit threateningly (because the only thing more embarrassing than making noises like what u just made, would be cumming so quick and hard and probably very noticeably lmaoo)
menace!steve who notices that u like him beefy and hairy. imagine him laying in bed while ur getting ready, and he’s shirtless???? with the covers bunched over his hips, n he just busts out some little quip about how he’s been dreaming about u cumming on his chest so bad. wants to make u ride it, but he doesn’t think he’d be able to have ur pussy that close to his mouth without tugging u up onto his tongue. ur stood there with ur hair tie half done, frozen, bc he looks so nonchalant saying that with his huge biceps crossed over his chest.
menace Steve who wants to simultaneously cum inside u, suck it out, sloppily spit it down ur tits and into ur mouth and makeout, JUST AS MUCH as he’d want to cum inside and then not move. breeding kink menace Steve’s brain goes wee-woo-wee-woo empty when he sees u eyeing his cock when it leaks pre-cum. the man just cannot have his dick in ur mouth, he’s so serious he wants to make every drop count, but he also makes u want it so bad that whenever he gets the vibe that u just need it/need him, u come back into whatever room ur in to see him stripping. he’s so fucking coy abt it too, just shrugs and waves his hands for a second like duhh?? get with the program..
LMAOOO out of left field, but menace!steve who maybe does smthn mundane, like ur pipe breaks (i am NOT a plumber I don’t know what im talking abt), but while he’s down there, laid with his head in the cabinet tinkering around, he tries to role play a ‘oh no my pipes burst and oh? hunky plumber man came to fix it!’ porno scenario. but he doesn’t tell u. just works himself up and lets himself get so noticeably hard that ur like.. are u alright stevie?? n he just has to tell u to pls for the love of god ride him like he’s just some maintenance guy n ur just a hot babe who needs some good dick. take it from him - he’ll keep working (n if it’s a reader who like previously mentioned, isn’t at that point yet.. yea icl I’d do it. don’t judge me but if he’s all sighing and giving up like honey PLEASE take my dick out.. yeah 🫶)
menace!stevie who at every inconvenience, when his little princess is huffing and puffing abt something, rolls his eyes, tugs her under him like god okay babe, i hear you, u need eating out okayy i get it, need to let me kiss u down there for a bit as if he wasn’t the only one out of the two of u thinking that, but boy menace!steve?? can make an excuse out of ANYTHING. oh they gave u crinkle cut fries instead of french? his eyebrows raise as he sighs all dramatic, fully prepared to try n finger u in the diner booth. the dress ur trying on in the changing room doesn’t fit like u wish it would? he’s clicking his tongue, caressing ur hair back just to bend u over infront of the mirror, raring to go and dry hump. the reason??? he’s is. a menace. and kinda bitchy. but it fits.
(also, when ur making out and straddling him, he’d definitely break away, massive grin, just to tease u abt how he can feel that, yknow?? FEEL WHAT??? yknow.. ur heartbeat, baby? the grin is still there, head tilted down to look at u through his lashes. manhandles ur hips harder into his lap and u finally get what he means)
I WAS ALREADY SAVIN UR OTHER ASK TO COME BACK TO BUT HOLY FUCK I CANT ADD ANYTHING TO TOP ANY OF THIS
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i’m also a no noise & quiet, ‘can i keep my shirt’ on babe and this felt like a direct ATTACK. steve trying to make his plumber porn fantasy to come true is peak steve 😭 and i would fucking indeed. get his dick out and ride it while he fixed my pipes :)
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dirtysvthoughts · 11 months
Text
𝓟 𝓡 𝓘 𝓥 𝓐 𝓣 𝓔 𝓓 𝓐 𝓝 𝓒 𝓔 𝓡 - CHAPTER TWO
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pairing: model! minghao x stripper! reader
word count: 1.5k
general tags/warnings: smut, pwp, female! reader, hao’s sorta kinda a regular customer, soft dom! minghao, steamy/intense makeout session, super/mullet minghao inspired, partial nudity, vip room sex, slight use of pet names (doll, masterpiece, baby), aaand i think that’s it
playlist songs: adorn - miguel, mushroom chocolate - quin & 6lack, anime girls - melli
notes: thank y’all for the love on pd so far! i’m getting notifs nonstop and that makes me really happy :’) hope you enjoy this week’s chapter!
taglist: @im-gemmy , @enhacolor, @hooniewnderland , @svtup , @kawaiikels @weeevrse @diorsfxck @kyexvly @woozarts @ifuckcheol (let me know if you would like to be added to the taglist)
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you apply the finishing touches to your makeup, admiring how you looked in your silver sequined two-piece set and matching seven inch heels. to your surprise, you could already hear the loud atmosphere from the dressing room - and it wasn’t even 11 o’clock yet.
“it’s gonna be a good night,” you think to yourself, smiling to yourself at the thought of you covered in hundred dollar bills.
before you head out, you scroll through your phone one last time, looking at your social media feeds. double tapping on a friend’s post, you see a notification appear at the top of your screen.
minghao: hey, are you working tonight? i’m back in town for a show, but i need to relax and see you 😩
you bite down on your lip, your eyes rereading the message and your brain taking in every word. minghao is a famous model, somewhere in the world he was always in a show, walking the runway for all of the luxury brands. his handsome looks and his insanely gorgeous figure made him the it-boy every designer and photographer dreamed of.
you first met minghao at the club a few months ago, when he came for a magazine shoot and his friends decided to take him out. the second you laid eyes on each other as you were walking around the main floor, he took you by the hand and soon you were dancing for him in front of everyone. it didn’t take long to convince minghao about getting a room, your body clenching around nothing as you think about how big and hard he was in those jeans when you started to grind on him, thanking the heavens that your outfit made it possible to feel everything.
😈: hao! yeah, i’m gonna be working tonight. pay for a room as soon as you get here and i’ll be waiting 😏
minghao: i’ll try and get there within the hour. see you soon babe ❤️
you quickly toss your phone to the side when you hear your name being called, realizing that you would just have to kill some time before you got your main event.
——
as soon as they get through the doors (an hour later like he said), minghao walks in with his entourage, his dress shirt buttons deliciously exposing some of his toned chest, and his black distressed jeans accenting his legs. met with some screams, he greets his crowd as his people make sure he’s given enough space.
the music has switched a bit, and more sultry, intimate tunes fill the building. your hips rotating in rhythm as mushroom chocolate’s chorus comes on, playing with the straps of your top as you flirt with the customer in front of you.
so immersed in your own world, you don’t even realize that minghao has finally spotted you and approaches your space, sitting down a few inches away from your audience. your eyes for a split second reveal your shock and surprise, and minghao can’t help the smirk that crawls on his face.
“did you think i wouldn’t show up? i’m hurt, my pretty little doll. you know i’m a man of my word.” you stop dancing and walk towards him, gingerly sitting his lap, both your legs on opposite sides of his.
“mmm, trust me, i know you are, you know it’s just been a minute since i’ve seen you hao.. you look different,” you trail off, eyes wandering all over his body. did his muscles get bigger or something?
“good different or bad different?” he asks.
but before you can respond, someone clears their throat. the person sitting across from you and minghao stares in disbelief. right… you still had someone to “take care” of. you sigh, kind of wishing that you had gone straight to a room so your time with minghao would’ve been interruption-free.
“give me a sec, hao,” you say crawling off his lap, missing the contact and approaching the other customer. “i’m sorry, but it looks like i have to cut this short,” you say feigning a fake disappointment. “but, if you decide to wait for me, i can guarantee it’ll be worth the wait,” you say taking the cash on the floor, bending over in front of the two, teasing them. obviously you don’t notice, but minghao bites his lip at the sight, hoping that he would get to see that again in the next few minutes.
when you’re done, you take him by the hand and the lead the way up the stairs to the vip rooms. you stop at the first empty one you see, brushing the curtains away as he lets go of your hand to face you.
“you never answered my question, y’know,” he says staring directly into your eyes. you stare back at him a little confused, already forgetting what he had said earlier.
he laughs, “wow, you forgot already? what’s going on doll?”
“nothing,” you say chuckling back at him, “i just, have a lot on my mind now.. and it’s mostly you..”
“oh? care to tell me more?” he says, putting his hand on your waist, bringing you closer to him.
“i guess to answer your question, it’s a good different… you’re always hot, but tonight, hao? you’re fucking irresistible,” you swipe your tongue across your lips, biting down on your skin.
“really now?” he smiles, his lips inches away from yours. but before you can say anything else, his mouth crashes on your soft, pillowy lips, trying to take in as much as he could of you.
you put your arms around his neck, trying to bring him in closer as you match his energy and enthusiasm. minghao’s hands begin to roam your body, especially your breasts. he couldn’t help but admire how temptingly delicious they looked in your bra piece. you moan into his touch at every little trace and brush, craving for more.
“mm, minghao!” you whimper when he get adventurous and delicately touches your crotch, and you clench yet again around nothing. you continue to moan out his name in bliss and neediness, but after a minute, an idea pops in your head.
“m-minghao, you wanna take this to the couch?” you say trying to snap him out of his daze for a second.
without another word, he sweeps you off your feet and carries you to the couch, your mouths still on each others. when he finally feels his legs against the edge of the furniture, he sits down, placing you on his lap.
not wanting to wait any longer, minghao takes off your bra, slowly revealing the top half of your body. he hisses at the sight, nearly groaning out at how the colorful lights in the room added to the glow that covered your body.
“you’re such a masterpiece,” he says as he once again guides his hands toward your body, this time paying extra attention to you chest.
while he was focused on that, you took to the opportunity to unbutton his jeans and pull his zipper down. he realizes where you wanted to go, and helps you get them, as well as his boxers off. once they both pool at his ankles, you smile when you can finally get to what you want after all the foreplay.
as you sink down on him, you both let out a loud moan feeling of being inside each other. “g-god, fuck,” you whisper into his ears clawing down his back, pressing into his chest. even though the music has long been forgotten to you, somehow your hips naturally grind to the rhythm. minghao notices and takes hold of your waist, guiding them in the right places. “god, you feel so good, baby,” he groans.
slowly but surely, you begin to feel a good pressure build in your core, your whimpering getting more frantic. “ahhh shit, shit, minghao, m-minghao,” you begin to move faster wanting to release all over him. and when he hits the right spot in you, you can no longer hold back, and you nearly scream, coming all over the lower half of his body.
you try and catch your breath, not wanting to come down from your high, but remembering you still had a job to do. “fuck, i needa go back downstairs soon,” you say getting up to find your bra top.
“do you have to go back now?” he asks, pulling his boxers and pants back up.
“well, not right this second,” you respond fastening your straps. “did you wanna stay a little longer?” you smile sweetly.
“yeah,” he says leaning back on the couch, returning your sultry gaze. “haven’t seen you dance for me in awhile,” he plams himself over his pants, already getting worked up at the memory.
you walk towards the pole, your arm holding onto the pole. “then minghao, be prepared for a dance you’ll never ever want to forget,” you say hooking your legs to spin on the pole.
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