#im gonna delete all of these later bc i dont usual put such like

[anarchistbitch]

well it's not like according to tradition I replied in a timely manner lmao dont worry about it

sfjkfjsdk me too, i dont usually make playlists, i just leave everything in my liked and shuffle it and let it be what the universe dictates but idk i felt like getting them into one playlist

well if you add pepa pig id burst out laughing in the middle of a call probably and one of my work friends would probably shout "send her to sleep" bc thats what we say when we send clients back bc we cant do anything from our end so it would be funny and we would just ultimately skip it lmao

im looking forward to whatever songs you add, the playlist is long as fuck already tbh so it might take a while for the oli london song to come on

SFGDSJKFGDS well in my defense I had to ask bc i didnt know how long youve been on tumblr so yeah (shiro's cloning and the episode about it and the fight with keith)

anyways i motherfucking hated that they exploded adam and then tried to console us with curtis but anywaaaaaaay the fanfic is dirty laundry which if you were in the fandom i doubt you didnt end up hearing of it or at least the discourse around it but anyway it got deleted but i had it downloaded so have a google drive link https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BwU9LMiUJoN7RjFWSGZVUlJQd1U/view?

yeah, the whole not enrolling classes in uni is a mess and i try not to think about it too much rn (i am seeing a therapist and i hope that by next year i have figured out what i want to do) but i like my job, we(my team)'re actually planning to rent a house and stay there a weekend very soon to celebrate our supervisor's bday :'3

making choices that will greatly impact our futures is seriously so hard, and i also not qualified for any career advice but manifesting that whatever you choose in the end allows you to be happy

just last night it started raining hard so i got up to turn off the fan but then like two minutes later i got up to turn it on again bc even tho it was raining it is still so fucking hot, seriously hate the weather rn

god mountains are so preetty, specially when the weather is cool and they get all foggy

atsv is a masterpiece and it continues from itsv so damn well, i really do love it and i hope hollywood gets up it's ass and pays their workers what they're owed so we can see it soon

KJSDFJKSDFHJS i am still seeing so many miguel o hara edits everywhere for real, i gotta say tho im in love with hobie and pavitr

JKSHFJS i used to do something similar with fob, i had a lot of them printed out and would put them on my binder cover so that i could memorize the lyrics so i was all day everyday singing them until i memorized it and the changed it for another song

idk how id rank fob albums, its so hard when theyre soo good but i really do love so much for stardust, aside from that one i think my favs are save rock and roll and american beauty american pyscho, mania was the first album i was a fan of them when it came out so it has a special place in my heart as well

my special lyric is part time soulmates full time problem, ive always been a fan of soulmate aus and hhhhhhhh just makes my brain smooth, also we started off as shiny dimes but we got flipped too many times, we did it for futures that never came and for pasts that we're never going to change 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

cheers to us and our interesting meeting jdfshjf

love you and i hope you have a good week :3 get plenty of rest and fun and water!!

-M

i feel like if we had a competition on late replies i would emerge victorious😎(crying inside)

honestly fall is prolly the best time to make playlists[not that im gonna, but sure is a nice time yk] but ahhhh anyway!!!! havent added anything but u will know when i add it <3

check hello tumblr user nonbinarymikaela pls provide access to the drive check [i checked out of any fandom drama cause i had so many exams that yr lmao. only time the edu system saved me]

[this is me actually hi]

honestly idek if i like my degree rn, like i really wanted to go for a history degree a couple years back before i changed my stream[its a whole educational system thats actually fucking fucked in india i hope it dies soon💜] but on the flip side - it was pretty hard to get a spot in my uni anyway so now im just in a whirlpool of smth. bleh

thinking of how next year is so close is like skewering me and roasting me like a kebab😭😭😭😭[but like dont keep a strict timeline yk, ur like seriously cool and i think any decision you take will be the best as along as your the one taking it ] [i wish i had answered this earlier so i couldve wish you good time on ur retreat but i hope it was good anyway💜💜💜💜💜💜💜]

man i need to like seriously cope up with my decisions cause i need to take an exam for my career which is seriously sooo..... but yea thats how its going

omg its raining here too and my college[which is seriously just a reformated jungle] turned into a swamp ish and they STILL didnt cancel classes. and i forgot my umbrella. i came back home like a sad wet cat .

gotta love that near-to-the-equator ass weather with climate change [i need to kill billionaires rn]

hope the strikes come to a fruitful end soon[for saf-aftra & iatse !!! fuck the amptp!!] but also i wouldnt mind waiting a couple years for btsv if the animators need that time to like animate in a safe and healthy manner yk

OH wait also im on my halloween movies watch rn!! just finished the addams family and watching paranorman rn [i need a gomez man btw. need him to be silly and obsessed and intense.and mwah]

[also if u wanna watch an indian series made in heaven is pretty cool(its okay-ish in terms of writing but it covers some very important social issues + the main leads are hot and dubious. what more do i need to watch a show)]

hobie kinda scratched a very specific itch in my brain like i want to be him AND kiss him , pavitr is so slay, and o'hara needs like a massage session thing where they unlock the trauma in ur knees or like a stamlo 50mg.

me & my friends fav fob lyrics was the 'how the mighty fall' cause we would do that "fall out...boi" intro everytime lol

i dont think i have a fave lyric but i think immortals was a top contender for reasons[i like big hero 6 :3]

Song rec: nothings new by rio romeo (saw it in a reels animatic and .. yea)

to many more yrs of late asks 🥂(appy juice cause i dont like the taste of alcohol)

my love and hopes to u💜💜💜 and also an umbrella for this weather☔

p.s. drink water/soup/iced tea + i care for u+ W in the chats

#m for mwah! and MWAH

[kekeslider]

oofa doofa thats. thats a Very Cold Take from your dad thats. hm. i dont know what i can do to help other than Sympathise w you..... maybe if theres another bin in the house with a lid you could swap it w the one in tve bthroom?

It’s okay lmao I wasn’t expecting advice or anything, he’s just like that sometimes. It took like 8 months but I finally just talked him into buying a trashcan with a locking lid for the bathroom. It’s just really odd that he has such an intense feeling that what is very clearly bathroom garbage should be put in the kitchen, where people like. Cook and eat. And that he fought so hard against spending like $15 on a trashcan to solve the entire problem

#keke answers #im gonna delete all of these later bc i dont usual put such like #personal and specific stuff on this blog #i just needed to complain about something that seems so simple and idiotic to me #Anonymous #he gets so mad when we need simple necessities but he spent like $1800 on an inversion table a couple months ago??? #like his shoulder is messed up so i GET IT #or i would if he like ever used it??? hes used it twice lmao

[readymades2002]

HM i think i will work on finishing my current sorting project before the year ends...i have a little under 900 songs left to go through which is more than halfway so i think its doable if i work hard 💪

#the problem is the focus it takes!! i cant exactly put something else on in the background while i do it! #i tried that for a bit but its like. it just doesnt work out the way i'd like! the ambience kind of makes it all sound the same #but i also cant get engrossed enough in a task that i forget to listen to it and i cant do something like...that also requires focus #bc i jump back to the tab im listening to often to prune songs and skip ahead if im doing something like #gif making is my usual go-to for listening to things like podcasts but if i click away from photoshop everything just HATES that #and it takes forever to go between them!!! #usually i just end up loading my other playlists in full and checking for deleted and private videos... #god im gonna finally finish my music playlist and go FINALLY i can add things to this again *clicks over to 3000+ watch later list' :) #its nice i dont really...have the energy to do much else lately so the few times i do have the focus to work on it its alright i guess #actually huh this is kind of pathetic. this is too much thought to invest in it. i dont do other things. god im so unhappy

[jimines]

7 29 32 36 ♡

7. Who are your top 3 gif makers?

when i tell you i literally put the 10 i could think of onto a wheel and spun it, i'm really not kidding T-T so, i'm gonna make this 5 not 3, bc i can't narrow it down that much T-T n the next ask im gonna post will have the remaining 5 </3 sorry not sorry

@jeonjcngkook - bc im a slut for dark colourings and jords gets it right every time n the smoothness of her gifs 😩😩😩😩

@namgination - when i tell you i dont even have words to describe katarinas colouring 👁️👄👁️ just lkgjshjkgdkjs stunning~~

@eternal-bangtan - queen of soft colouring and the way karina manipulates the blacks in her gifs? *chefs kiss* (lowkey inspired me to experiment more with blacks too :O)

@gimbapchefs - iconic captions, pretty natural colourings and her ability to make her gifs so sharp n stuff w/o vapoursynth ??? 👁️👄👁️ sorcery, nat is a witch confirmed

@min-boongie - i just really love dark colourings n reka is another one of the few that makes them regularly n theyre always so pretty n smooth i die a little inside (in a good way)

29. have you ever posted a set, realized you made a mistake later but it was already too late?

ALL. THE. TIME. usually its either a caption, adjustment, or my watermark glitching out at the end. depending on how late i notice it and how bad it is, i'll either fix it, leave it, or delete it lmaoo

32. What is your favourite tool/adjustment layer in photoshop?

i really like the basic curves/levels adjustments and the selective colour. i think mainly bc, when i colour, a LOT of time is spent neutralizing hues and stuff that i dont want and those adjustments are GODSENDS T-T i literally never make a set without any of those adjustments

36. Do you gif with something specific in mind or do you just wing it?

50-50. sometimes i know what i want to do and what the end goal is, like i can visualize the final product in my head. and other times i just go with the flow and mess around until i like the result.

send me a number from this list of questions for gif-makers🌻

#anon #replied💌

[lepidopterann]

📂👀

you didnt specify any characters But? im gonna go w some mc fnaf stuff >:] (bc I wanna talk about it)

(also more than just one, im many thoughts head full) Mike

- During his school years, he was consistently the strongest kid in school (bc robot duh) and though he wasn't popular by a long shot, if there was something heavy that needed to be lifted, he's your guy. (he'd ask for like candy afterwards tho bc... that just feels very Mike) - favorite ice cream flavor is rocky road)

- def had an emo phase, so he is decent at applying copious amounts of eyeliner

- freckles!! got freckles from his dad!! :]]]

- short! gets taller when he finds out he's a animatronic (bc then he can modify himself a lil and make himself Slightly Taller >:]]]!) (went from 5'4" to 5'6")

- loved superheroes as a kid

Other characters (bc uhhh im more focus on Mikey lmao)

- Wiliam is short like his son (also 5'4). If he were properly alive and saw that Mike was now taller, hell hath no fury like someone who is now Shorter (trust me, personal experience) (fav ice cream flavor is strawberry)

- Freddy draws sometimes. It's not Great but yknow? He's having fun. (He shows them mainly to Foxy and Mike, though the latter always wants to put it on the fridge) (likes neapolitan)

- Foxy and Bonnie play video games together and get so competitive that they get upset at eachother and dont talk for a few days (before later apologizing and playing smth casual together) (Foxy likes chocolate, Bonnie likes cookies and cream)

- Mikes looks through Chica's comments often (just to make sure no-ones being mean to her). If he finds any rude comments, the delete button's always there. (Chica likes reg vanilla but with lots o' Sprinkles)

- All of them occasionally have nightmares over stuff that's happened, and they all usually go to eachother when they do get them. Its the most vulnerable most of them have seen eachother. Occasionally, when stuffs been really stressful and theyre all having more nightmares, they'll have 'slumber parties' where they all just sleep in one room together.

idk if this is what you were askin me for But? Hands you this

#that last one is less useless than most of the others But it was too cute to leave out #can u tell mikes my favorite #i have no headcanons for toy chica yet #or goldie #anyway #minecraft fnaf #fnaf minecraft #my headcanons

[captainimprobable]

This photo popped up on my Facebook memories and I nearly lost my gd mind.  Everything under the cut is depressing so don’t click if you don’t wanna be bummed out

This is from Mother’s day, May 10th, 2015.  At this point I had been breaking down every night for a month, taking Ativan like it was candy, because lower doses stopped working since I took them so often.  I dropped out of college during finals week instead of just waiting for the semester to be over because I didn’t know if I could make it through another week. 3 days after this picture was taken, I checked myself into the hospital.  It was a planned check in, preemptively done so it wouldn’t come to a place where it would be an emergency.  I stayed for about a week, and when I got out I wasn’t cured or anything, but it had been the restart I needed to start working to get better. 2015 was the Year From Hell for my me and my family. (So far, it’s still beating 2020. Like. That many bad things happened in 2015.)

I spent most of my recovery alone, aside from my mother.  I had friends, that I loved and who I knew loved me, but when someone is going through something difficult and you don’t know what to say, sometimes you just say nothing at all.  Not to mention I kept all this very very quiet.  On the outside I looked fine.  I’ve been told by many, many therapists that  I’m the only patient they’ve ever had who can fool them into thinking things are great even if I’m wildly depressed, and my friends weren’t trained, so. Nobody really knew. I’ve been working my ass off for five years.  A year after this picture was taken, I graduated college.  By the end of that year I got my first job.  It took me a long long time to get to a place where I thought I could actually, maybe be a real person.  I was finally planning to start my career, which was going to lead to me moving out. I was finally, FINALLY, after 7 years of trying and failing, going to travel to japan. And then Covid happened.  And here I am, five years to the day later, feeling the same things I felt then, completely rewinded, like the past five years just haven’t happened.  We’re back, babes!!!!!! We’ve returned to the Shit Zone, no feeling good allowed!!!!  We’re back to having to take everything minute by minute, sleeping a lot and popping that Ativan again because I can’t stop crying. I’m fucked, my dudes.  Every year I’m so proud of how much progress I’ve made since May 13th, 2015. But right now all I see is the same pattern, the skipping work, the spontaneous sobbing mixed with being Totally Okay Somehow for a few days, and I’m alone again, because quarantine means nobody knows when we’re all gonna see each other again.  On top of that, i have nothing to look forward to since cons are cancelled.  Cons were basically the only thing I had..which I guess is shitty and lame, but it gave me an outlet, it was a place where I could be super gay and not worry about where I am, I was surrounded by people like me and not here, in my religious town, where nobody is like me.  (I am the Queen of the Drama Queens. Wow.) So all I see in front of me is the same thing, nothing, forever.  But hey the smores frapp comes out in two weeks!!!! Thank god.  I dont know what I would do without the smores frapp. (This is serious. Im not being sarcastic.  That shit is GOOD) Posting this is incredibly embarrassing for me because I’m not usually this open when something is wrong, but this picture popped up at an exact moment I was freaking out about something and I just had to do something.  So now, on top of everything, I’m severely embarrassed and I feel about three inches tall. Hi up there guys!!!! Things are great down here, I’ve managed to corral a spider and now I have a way of getting around without walking everywhere, so that’s rad.  Sorry if you think less of me. Surpriiiiiise Ive been a loser all along!!! I’m used to being vented to but the other way around...doesnt.....make sense??? Like, this feels illegal.  Was this too much information? I straight up Do Not Know. Anyway, thanks to the few people who know I’m losing my mind and have helped. Also I’m totally safe yall, that’s not something you need to worry about, I promise. idk wtf this post is for. actually. i might delete it like. soon. bc this feels Wrong and like Im crying for attention and i am a small helpless child. And Im not. But. Ill see. God this is bad if people see this they’re gonna think less of me but Im supposed to be this big advocate for mental illness on facebook, so I wanted to be honest, but I couldn’t get myself to post it on facebook so I’m putting it here and. Idk.  Sorry.

#jaytp #HELLO HELLO REMINDER THAT I AM OK AND SAFE #i dont think anyone thought i was cool before this but well #if someone did this will kill that quickly #i am baby

[starryace]

my personal introduction to vav

so i have a few friends who’ve been wanting to get into vav but dunno where to start so... i’ll just do this lil thing. obviously there’s gonna be my own opinions so don’t take everything i say to heart but like... here we go

vav (very awesome voice -- pronounced vee-ay-vee but i say vav bc im lazy) debuted in 2015, but when they debuted they had a different lineup. zehan, xiao, and gyeoul all left to pursue other activities. ziu, lou, and ayno joined the group in 2017! the fandom is called vampz because of the groups original concept but we don’t talk about that

title tracks/mvs: *under the moonlight | *brotherhood | *no doubt | *here i am | venus (dance with me) | flower (you) | abc (middle of the night) | she’s mine | spotlight | gorgeous | give it to me | senorita | **so in love | **thrilla killa | **i’m sorry | give me more

* = pre-line up switch! | ** = without jacob (due to his participation in a chinese program)

more about the members under the cut!

st van (lee geumhyuk)

note: during updating i ended up having to redo this entire section bc my computer deleted it all... sigh.

everyone’s dad

kinda gives off party vibes, like a cool club dad, you know?

super duper soft :(( he laughs at everything and he loves gentle things and he may be the oldest but he’s babie

gets really embarrassed really easily and blushes and laughs it off

oh! he also laughs with like... his entire body ekhrbgj

tattoos! on his shoulder and right arm

full sleeve completed

self composed the track “im sorry” off of the thrilla killa album

he lived in china for 13+ years and can speak fluent (if not, almost fluent) chinese

he’s super good cook and he wanted to be a chef before becoming an idol

loves jacob :(( with all his heart

weird but he can drink a lot of water really quickly, that’s his special talent

got a dog with the group! her name is cash and she’s super cute

im sure there’s more but i got mad after my computer deleted everything so i’ll get back to updating this part when things dawn on me

baron (choi chunghyeop)

dancer extraordinaire! he actually used to be in a dance team before vav

smiley boy ;;;; literally he has the prettiest smile and the nicest teeth

he can play the piano and a lil guitar im p sure!

he’s honestly a lil shit but we love him anyway

he’s very mom like, and loves taking care of the members, but i spy with my lil eye someone a lil more mom-like but that comes later

he choreographed a cover of shape of you!

unfortunately, his mom passed away early this year (may she rest in peace).

his nickname is baby prince (from his mom) and it was because of his mom that he was able to become and idol

baron singing??? yes,,, yeS!! his voice is godsent istg

he loves loves loves music and dance

wont shut up about millennium dance studio

was the pizza delivery boy in minx’s why did you come to my home

has a very intensive skin care routine

he!! loves!! food!! constantly nomming

ace (jang wooyoung)

remember how i said how i thought there was someone more mom like? meet ace.

literally babies everyone

eSPECIALLY ayno + ziu (sometimes lou, when lou will let him)

sassy, diva, can also be a lil shit -- esp with baron... 92 line is just lil shit line

lil fucking tease, too--

he has an oral fixation-- licks his lips a lot no bueno for me

teal hair? god tier. senorita? also god tier. everything about him? god tier.

plays the guitar... see senorita

“you’re doing wonderful sweetie” but like... a living version of that

abs... abs for days..........

works out with jacob

dimples!! but it’s more prominent on the right cheek.

god he’s??? literally ethereal. like i can’t put into words how pretty he is

he ;;;; has the purest, most sweetest heart

they need to start letting ace have more lines bc omg his voice ;;;;;

really good with kids ;;;;; they love him

he’s a BIG flirt, it’s like when he opens his mouth the only thing he thinks to do is say “i love you” or “you’re mine” or smthn

Prince Wooyoung™

ayno (noh yoonho)

was on no.mercy -- still kinda keeps in contact with monsta x now (hims was lil babie minhyuk)

yknow how baron is dancer? so is ayno -- aYNO IS GOD TIER DANCER ok he ;;;;; ugh he’s literally so talented

he raps too! also god tier

hims a soundcloud rapper -- dropped zero coke (mixtape) and god that boy is talented

self composed their song touch you (aka one of my fave vav songs)

ace’s baby... really, he’s vav’s baby, but still

fake maknae to the max. it still baffles me that he’s older than the others ima list

hims also pretty shy, but it’s real cute ;;;;

lou has such a big fat crush on him and he’s always embarrassed by it

he zones out a lot and is very mellow & quiet until something inside him switches and then he’s like BAM loud and crackhead

ziu.... brings out... the crackhead in him lbr

former happyface ent trainee w/ ziu

puppy!

also really good with kids!! prolly bc he is a big kid himself erhbjeg

often writes his own raps for songs

jacob (zhang peng)

resting bitch face to the max

800% done with everyone’s shit

chinese member!

he was performing in a chinese show called all for one -- his team got eliminated (sad) but that means he’ll be returning to the group (happy!)

that’s why he wasn’t in so in love/thrilla killa/im sorry

hims loves his st van

he also eats... a lot.

ok but like... he works out with ace, right? boy has such chiseled and nicely defined abs, it pains me

he’s a happy lil sunshine boy

savage as fuck

his smile literally adds 5 years to your lifespan

all of the members miss him so much ;;;; its honestly super wholesome and every once in a while they’ll be like “omg cobi would love this” or “jacob....... we miss you”

but then you have shithead lou being like “i mean... its nice having the room to myself” wrehbjehg

he dance too! idk what type of dancing it is but he does it!!!

he was in the chinese movie “the dreamer on the catwalk”

BRING HIM BACK ATEAM PLS I MISS HIMS

HE HAS RETURNED AND HE’S STRONGER THAN EVER

lou (kim hosung)

my #1, my one and only, my precious sweetheart

tall as fUCK

has a deep ass motherfucking voice

grew up in georgia as a kid (can speak fluent english) and then the philippines when he was a teen!

kinda the more quiet & reserved member

but dont let that fool you......

he too is a lil shit

AND A CHAOTIC GAY -- ziu bothers him a lot but he has a big ol’ crush on ayno and he never shuts up about how pretty he is and how much he loves him

he can be a grouchy lil bitch too tho hkerbjeg

in this interview baron and st van were being cute and he’s just in the corner like “youuuu shouuuld daaaate” -- gay. in the same interview thats one instance where he wouldn’t shut up about ayno

hims a rapper too!! he often writes his own raps for songs (much like ayno)

his own mixtape (goodnight) literally is so nice i listen to it all the time

he has a vlive thing he does called lou-dio and it’s real cute

big ears = the cutest thing ever ehkrbgjeh

he collects a bunch of stuff!! like pop figures and toys, like souvenirs from everywhere they go

he was in the youtube webdrama “lemon car video” (eps 1, 3, 7, and 8)

his stage name is lou (pronounced “low” but i refuse to say that) because his voice is so low

ziu (park heejun)

chaotic. just chaotic. chaotic gay, chaotic maknae, chaotic man.

he’s the real maknae tho... doesn’t look it, huh?

manly af

literally so charismatic and funny as hell

wants kisses + love + attention from everyone

goes in for a kiss -- everyone else usually backs away but he’s always disappointed that no one gives into him

kisses kisses kisses

did i mention kisses?

he makes a lot of random ass noises all the time

screm... lots of screm. like you know opossums?? think that kinda screm.

his vocals ;;;;; his singing voice is so, so nice ;;; i adore it.

his room is dirty af i could NEVER

he does some really questionable things sometimes... see here.

like i said, i cannot express this enough... he’s so charismatic. so charming. so handsome.

also!! super hyper fluff ball. hims cute.

aegyo up the wazoo too

former happyface ent trainee with ayno

was in the fri.sat.sun teasers by dalshabet

can get p loud & annoying but that doesnt change how much we love him

idk if any of that made sense... but there you go! there’s so much more to vav and everything they do and who they are, so i hope this just kinda gets more people to look into them? it’s a stepping stone, not everything possible to learn.

+ keep in mind, a lot of this stuff comes from both kprofiles, what i’ve seen in videos, and my own personal opinions & inputs. so... yeah. don’t use what i say as truth/fact unless you see stuff to back it up (or you adopt it as your own opinion idk).

thank you for taking your time to read this!!

#vav #*intro #god what do i even tag all of this #idk #n e ways!!! #lmk what you think #also im not 100% well versed with vav #im kinda a newer stan #but i also did a ton of research #and they're like my 2nd/3rd ults now idek

[codingcabin]

Hi! I'm just starting to learn how to code using all the resources I can find, but question: how do theme makers deal with the frustration of something not turning out just right? Or even the doubt that it might not turn out okay?

Hello! Interesting question! Here’s what some of our team members have to say about it:

@magnusthemes :  I just do it, and if I get it wrong I delete it and try again using a different approach. I feel like in today’s day and age a lot of people are afraid of failure to the extent that we don’t even want to try, but once you get over that and accept that it’s okay to fail, is when you learn the most and make the best things.

@annasthms :  I usually just keep working at it! And if I can’t figure it out on my own, I go to google for help (especially if it’s JavaScript that’s not working the way I want it to). If I’ve been working on it for a very long time, I’ll put it aside and work on something else. On very rare occasions, I might just scrap what I’m doing and start over.

@suiomi :  I don't usually think it's not gonna turn out ok bc I don't get myself to do something I know I can't do unless I'm actually wanting to experiment. Otherwise, if I get too frustrated I either take a break from coding that one thing or scrap it altogether.

@grangersdesigns :  The struggle is inevitable but you’ll learn a lot in the process! Googling and find inspirations help a lot! If something is really difficult and I’m stuck, I’ll do something else and come back to it later.

@octomoosey :  Definitely take a break, or try something different.  i tend to have more than one theme as a WIP at any one time and dip in and out of them when the mood or inspiration strikes.  also don't worry about something not working out, if there's a problem - try a workaround or a different method, and if all else fails -- ask for help!

#ask

[hyunjin-writes]

photographer!kihyun au

i,,, have had a thing for photographer kihyun for like,,,eVer sinCE i started stanning him,,,

and since there’s not much out there fics/aus about photographer kihyun

/rolls sleeve/

ok but photographer!kihyun would be both cool and cute i kid u not

the type to always???? ALWAYS!!!! have his camera by his side; either slung on his arm or in his backpack

there was this one time he forgot to bring his camera along and his friends thought something happened to him or the camera

“is ur camera oKay??????r YOU okay????” “why wouldn’t they be okay and im here aren’t i?”

turns out he just forgot to charge the batteries overnight shdsdsj clumsy

but how much do you wanna bet he can’t sit still without his camera by his side?

“yOo kihYUN sTop FidgEting” “i cant help it!!!!i’m so used to have my camera with me i-”

his camera is basically his wife,, but anyways moving on,

the type to be gone during the weekends to take short trips to the beach or countryside for pictures

“hey kihyun are you free this weekend” “can’t im going to the beach” “hey ki-” “CANT i have to go to the neighbouring city”

but his pictures ended up being to die for so it’s forgiven ;;

his phone wallpapers,,, would mostly b pictures of sceneries he took. Only on rare occasion it would be faces of people,,,, prob mainly bcs it was him who took it.

imagine him putting a picture of minhyuk because he loved the way the pic turned out and minhyuk saw,,,

“omg ki i didn’t know u liked me that much ;”^ )” “i  DONT. the pic just turned out nic-” “AWWW SHUSH I Like Me Too ;););)” “sdhjsdhjskajhskja remind me to not take a pic of u ever again”

“no way u like the way he poses for pics too much to not take pics of him” - prob shownu

“,,,,,, riTe”

its tru tho kihyun is picky when it comes to his pictures, especially potraits and he always complains about how its so hard to take pics of shownu

“shownu u do know you can breathe like normal, right?”

but anyways,

his instagram!!!!

god his instagram would b aesthetically pleasing nd like, low quality-ly hq,,

pics from his trips? pics from his coffee stops? pics of mx hanging out? you got them all!

but like,, what’s hard to see in his feed is probably his selfie since he takes bad selfies according to wonho and minhyuk

“i  DO NOT. take bad selfies” - says kihyun as he poses the same pose for 2938482 selfies with the same angle

sighs

so instead of uploading his selfies, the only pictures that would have his face in it would be the candids the boys took of him

from when he’s drinking coffees, or from when he’s taking pictures,,,

mostly r pics of him taking pictures w his camera since he find himself looking extra cool doing those

but like,,, since most of his pics r candids, u can hardly see his face since it’s always being covered w camera or looking down

also since most pics r from  the boys, u could expect to see minhyuk or wonho annoyingly commenting on his pics

“omg what a cool pic i wonder who took them” “i bet the photographer’s good looking tell him i’m a fan of him!”

“im  Blocking. both of u”

ok but you,,,, you do know kihyun, sort of

that is if u consider being friends with changkyun and hearing changkyun bragging about how good this one photographer friend is then yeah you do know kihyun

you follow him on instagram, but like,,, u never actually met him before??

tho judging on his ig pics he seems attractive but also seems like a snoob?? or a bit cocky?? based on his comments so idk,, u just dont really like those type of guys

but anyways, you’re studying filming major in school so you’re always standing behind the camera or screens instead,

but you’re been told a handful of time that you have enough visuals to be a model,, it DID crossed ur mind but like???me??? a model??? must b mad enough to do  That,  so u didnt

so you’re a close friends with changkyun, and you two are always hanging out when kyun ain’t hanging out w mx

so when you’re out together, it’s always u who takes kyun’s pictures and you’re no photography student, but you could say your pics r decent (since you actually like photography as well,)

changkyun loves!!!! ur pic and he always say that you would bond well with kihyun since the two of you have similar taste

youre like  “naaaaah no thx” and kyun just shrugs bcs like okay then sure no fOrcing u

so u continue to hangout with changkyun with him mentioning about wanting the two of you meeting up but you always refusing

UNTIL 

one day you two were hanging out at the park, just casual and being a bunch of goofs when kyun said some of the mx boys r here and wants to meet up nd if its okay with you

“yeAH??? i mean i would love to meet them anyways especially minhyuk! i heard he’s kinda cool,,”

“yeah but there’s gonna be kihy-” changkyun before his words being interrupted by a hollering minhyuk from afar

you immediately recognize minhyuk based on his jumpy attitude and also wonho who’s following behind a sprinting minhyuk

minhyuk immediately pounced on changkyun and you like,, laughed at how done kyun looked

u suddenly heard some clicker sound beside u and when u turn, ur eyes meet w a pair of very??? beautiful??? eyes???

it took a few seconds but u then realized it was kihyun,, with his camera his hand,, like OF COURSE kihyun would b around taking pics

immediately introducing yourself to the boys, changkyun immediately said, “ah ki hyung, she’s the one who always took my cafe an d ootd pics”

youre like ?? but when u look at kihyun he was like O-o and was saying “yeah i sorta figured?? since u hardly hang out w anyone else anyways” but he wasnt even looking at u or anything,,,

“wow he really /is/ snobby,,,,” was what u thought at first since even after a few mins of hanging out at the park, he still wont meet ur eyes??? even when he’s talking to you or something??? wow   rood.

but like yea you guys hanged out for a while longer before u decided to leave the boys alone

so when you excused yourself, changkyun was like “yeah yeah sure i’ll see you later” but

kihyun seemed weirdly and surprisingly disappointed for someone who hardly made any eye contact w you through out the hour of hanging out

nd judging on his personality around the boys and on what changkyun told you, you doubt he’s actually  SHY

(in which he is but we’ll get to that later)

but anyways, kihyun was like: “you’re leaving already?”

“????y ea??? i have early classes tomorrow so,,”

“o right your filming classes”

???? ?you’re actually surprised that he knows??? but okay then

so like u go home and attend your classes like normal for almost a whole week, nothing unusual happened, and u doing ur usual routine,

like going to classes, having lunch w your friends and changkyun when he’s free, studying in the library,, and even going out during the afternoon for an hour of,,, walk

so here’s the thing

even when you’re a film student, you have a huge interest in photography, so,

every afternoon you would go out for an hour or two, just to walk around town, stopping once in a while to just take pictures.

people thought you go out for some exercises but l mao n O

you always have your small handy little camera by your side,, your loyal best friend.

so like it was a week??? after that meeting with kihyun and the other boys, but nothing happened,

you did saw kihyun around the campus once in a while,

but everytime your eyes locked, he would blin k for once or twice then quickly look away,

in WHICH, helped u to think that he’s really a snob

(u gH HE IS REALLY NOT but we’ll get there anyways,)

so like one afternoon you’re just walking around town, taking pictures like normal,

and you’re at this small park at the end of town,

its small, and not packed, just like how u like it,,

so you ended up just spending your afternoon there, taking pictures and stuff

nd after a while u spot a cute little kitten playing around, and of course u took pictures of it

the cat spotted you and it just ran towards you and soon,,

your camera was forgotten and you’re there,

just sitting on the ground and playing with the little kitten,,,

it was really peaceful, with just you and the kitten, and maybe some one or two people passing by, a couple sitting on a bench nearby,, but that’s just it

it’s not noisy or anything, just the way you like it,,

at least until u heard some sound of the flicker of a camera

looking around, you were expecting to see someone taking photos of views or the trees,, BUT

what you wasnt expecting was seeing a camera lens being pointed directly towards you,, just a few feet away from you,, and the kitten

you just stared at the camera,, nd the person behind the camera since you’re not really sure what to do

because like you’re not sure either to be mad or not?? since yea, it’s not nice to take other people’s pictures without permission but like,

you yourself have taken so many candid pictures of others,,, so??? u’re not exactly sure??

realizing they were caught, the person quickly lower down their camera and bow down their head slightly

but like you managed to catch their face and you just,,,: “kihyun???”

the person look up at you and with his round glasses on the bridge of his nose, his beanie covering his black hair, a simple round sweater hugging his figure,

you could easily tell it is indeed your campus’ infamous photographer, Mr. Yoo Kihyun

“what are you-”

“look, i’m sorry for taking your picture without permission it’s just that the settings was all so nice and the sunlight was on point, the kitten was active and you look really pretty so i just had to,, and like i hope u dont ask me to delete them??? because it’s really pretty,,, like i could show u if you don’t believe me it’s ReALLy nice!!! and-”

“l mao kihyun you’re babbling and yea of course you can keep them,”

“please dont tell me to- wait, what?? reaLLy???”

“yea h, i mean, as long as i look good in them tho”

“o- oh,, well,, u do look decent i guess???”

“don’t lie, i heard it when u said i looked pretty.”

“o h sh OOt”

CUE a cute blushing kihyun scratching his nape, trying to figure out how to cover up his honest words he blurted out a while ago,

but when he looked up trying to spit out some words about how it was the sun that helped you looked nice,, he sees you grinning at him while the little kitten still playing with your fingers,,,

and he thought,, oh screw it

“y-yeah,, well you always look good anyways, so nothings new”

and when he sees your cheeks slowly growing red, he was glad he said those words,,

he’d always thought you’re cute anyways, only he never actually brought up the guts to approach you properly

and now,, with you here for once smiling at him instead of looking at him as if he’s some kind of snob you hate, which he knows you thought of him that way before this,,

he decided he’s gonna be a  Man and not waste this chance with you

“but like, do you wanna see it though? the pictures, i mean.”

a/n : i might do a second part of this, who knows since i have a major big fat love for photographer!kihyun anyways! Also, newton was released today and photographer!kihyun made his appearance!!!! 

#kihyun #kihyun au #kihyun scenarios #monsta x #monsta x scenarios #photographer kihyun #monsta x au #m: monsta x scenerios #yoo kihyun #monsta x fluff #ugh i love photographer!kihyun sosososomuch

[birdysnow]

Who is your favorite OC? Pls share their backstory I must know👀

to be honest it’s totally Devon. I’ve had him sinceee about the 6th grade, and he’s been concrete since about 7th grade (I’m almost a junior!). He’s so important to me :’). Whenever I feel sad I just work on him or write about him and it cheers me up real fast. 

haha his backstory is a loooong, complicated mess. I literally went on an 1.5-2 hour rant about his backstory at a sleepover once, it was ridiculous how long it took for me to talk about him. I actually wrote a response for this ask yesterday, but it got deleted I hate my life. It was soooo long because I wrote it in the way I speak. You’re probably getting a lot more than you bargained for :’). I’ll put it below the cut so everyone else doesn’t suffer. 

im gonna use bullet points bc i like them and theyre shorter

note: universe is like. sci-fi. there’s space stuff you know

full name: Devon Mateo Westmore

born: August 16th 

a leo!!! do with that what you will

as far as parents go, they’re kinda dicks basically

Devon was a complete accident and he’s kind of treated as such

they’re pretty neglectful?? they really dont give a crap abt him frankly

they’re more interested in making bank with their jobs and turning up

has a sister who’s like graduating or smthn. she’s old. her name’s Lucía. 

she also could give less than a crap about him and had a similar experience with their parents; just wants to be free and have no attachment to this rando baby 

is a total Problem Child™ during school because of his messy life, just wants attention and love really but never really gets it

universally hated by teachers all his life

high school is especially rough he is a disaster

he’s basically like party all day every day bitches bc is parents are never home/probably wouldnt reprimand him for going out anyways

he drinks a lot, does drugs 

he bangs a lot of people irresponsibly. A LOT of people.

is a player tbh he will flirt with anyone. very pansexual. 

makes a lot of (bad) friends 2 fill the Void™ and does a lot of illegal things

anyway fast forward to when he’s like 17-18 and school’s like yep time to graduate!! and hes basically like

but he does graduate in order for the story to move forward

but now he’s like careers????????

all he’s kind of enjoyed is music throughout high school but he’s like thats not what i want to do. 

yolo, he probably says to himself one day. I’ll just join the military and become a space pilot because thats what I wanted to do when i was 8

so BASICALLY i haven’t figured out how I want this space military to work but he ends up in like an academy (he’s like around 19ish) or smthn 

this is where he starts to like chill tf out tbh

he discovers that he likes this a lot?? and he’s like dedicated to it???

a lot of like. coping happens and he has to figure out what kind of person he wants to be and recover™ himself

but yah he does well and he ends up being valedictorian nice going m8 

basically if you’re #1 in your class you get the opportunity to go to this like. school/training thingy. and it’s very exclusive but if you like graduate from their you’re like. set 

its like harvard except you could die there 

yolo, he thinks in yet another life decision he really shouldn’t be taking lightly. I want $$$$ so i’m about to make that place my bitch

he does not make that place his bitch

he suffers so much

by the end of the year/2 years he’s there, he does pretty well

He makes a bunch of good friends, and he gets a ton of experience. he’s really good because of it, as to be expected

while there the top of the class is this girl and her name is Adella

shes my daughter

Devon likes her but she’s like super stand-offish and he’s a party kid so he’s like

“hard pass.”

but he has like mad respect and he thinks she’s chill

the feelings mutual

anyways like RIGHT before they graduate she gets recruited to this special program because she’s top of the class and like disappears he never sees her again

sike

but not for a while at least……………

so like fast forward he’s like 23 maybe

he’s got a good job, he’s living it up really?? he’s just like pretty happy all around he has a life, an apartment, friends

he gets an email from this girl and she’s like yo

I’m Tamara, my mother passed away recently but I discovered that our parents are apparently siblings?? I never knew I had a cousin, I heard you live in the area and I was just wondering if you wanted to get to know each other 

and hes basically like damn if i’m about to pass up this chance!!!!!!!!

Tamara works as a programmer literally one (1) city away 

basically they just?? end up getting along really well?? Devon spends a lot of his off days hanging out with her

he’s so ecstatic to finally have someone who’s his family like she treats him like a little brother

probably Tamara also has a younger sibling, their name is Calix. they work as a doctor and dont see Tamara often but the two are close regardless

they’ll be important later but for rn they’re not relevant

anyway, at some point they make plans for Devon to meet Tamara and he ends up at her work

and she’s chilling with this guy who is absolutely

fucking

gorgeous

Devon’s sure he died, right there, behind a goddamn cubicle,,

he’s frantically trying to think up something suave to say (are you the only tennessee no– wait–) when Tamara notices him

she introduces him to her hot friend, his name is Shay

Devon tries to play it cool

“Hey would you mind if Shay came w–”

“NO NOT AT ALL I WOULDNT MIND”

they go out for lunch

he chills out a little bit on the way enough to be his usual self

Shay mistakes flirting for good-natured joking

Devon suffers

They exchange numbers 

cue pining 

Shay continues to be oblivious

He has to be told point blank by Tamara whos like “Please, for the love of all that is good, fuck him go on a date with my cousin.”

“Has he been asking me on dates every time he takes me out?? every time??”

I love Shay so much u dont even know

Shay is basically a really pure and happy person, literally nothing can get him down ever he’s just trying to live his best life

he’s everything to Devon, he’s so sunshiney and nice and Devon has just been through some stuff and his life is going well and now he has been blessed with this beautiful, perfect boy….,,,

it’s not like Devon has never dated anyone before, most of his relationships have been purely physical but he’s been in romantic relationships w people

but this is like. it he knows it. 

they date for about a year, everything’s fantastic

and then

things are heating up politically, and Devon’s in the military so they need him somewhere else

right now everyones living in like?? around india somewhere and they need him in like. canada.

hes understandably upset

he’s gotta move. acROSS THE GLOBE.

he’s not going to break up with bae but they’ve got to talk through this like Adults™

so they talk through it

and Shay’s basically like

“fuck no, i’m moving with you idiot

did you think you were just going to move away from me bench?? sike”

they move in together

I used to have their apartment layout drawn up on homestyler but they reset the system and it’s gone into the void so i’ll have to remake it :’)

so now they’re moved in which is super great everything is popping

remember Calix? they’re relevant again

basically, Calix has been dating this girl for a while now and they’ve gotten serious but their relationship is not working out because she is a mess tbh and they love each other very much but they are not good for each other

Calix isn’t emotionally receiving or helpful he’s very blunt so they end up splitting up because she doesn’t need a relationship  

Said girl is Adella

Adella is a mess basically

the program she was recruited for made her very successful, very well known in her field and in a lot of ways, among common people

but downside is there was a lot of government dirty work she was kind of pressured into doing

there’s also a lot of hush hush skirmish’s that have been occurring that she had to stop

she’s been struggling with depression for a lot of her life and she has PTSD so when her contract is up she decides to take a break™ 

her and Calix’s relationship kind of falls apart but she’s friends with Tamara and she’s like I need to leave somewhere and get out of this messiness, i’m going to move back home (Canada)

Tamara is like

LIGHTBULB DING DING DING

she doesn’t think that Adella shoudnt be on her own, she wants someone to supervise her and make sure she doesnt accidentally starve or smthn

she has the best intentions but she kind of tricks Devon and Shay tbh

“Hey you guys got an apartment with an extra room?? Can you take in my friend for a while, she’ll pay rent, she has a job she’s just trying to find a nice place to live but she needs to move to the area rn”

the two of them are like “yeah sure lol sounds legit tammy we ly

Adella shows up on their doorstep with the intention to live there for like 2 years

cue Shay internally flipping his shit over this lowkey celebrity whos going to LIVE in HIS APARTMENT DEVON DID YOU CLEAN THE KITCHEN

Devon is not phased 

he knows Adella from school so he’s just kind of like hey its u whats banging girlie

he basically just treats her like normal and she is so appreciative 

basically they become SQUAD i love them and thats the beginning of my story and thus ends background 

i’m sorry this was so long i tried so hard but i got carried away. double sorry for taking so long I have like 3 end of school projects due rip me

Thank you so much for asking!! I can’t tell you how much it means to me :’)) If you made it this far through my story I applaud you. thanks for reading!!! Feel free to message me if you have any questions 

#ask #mine #im shook this happened im still dazed that anyone cares about my garbage children #i love my son so much #cheater157 #my ocs

[saintkimora]

ok……..here is the long awaited post of what happened on saturday night! (Last Saturday night btw not yesterday night) ive been too busy to post about it until now but it is juicy

so as i said on saturday, joel and i were texting on and off that day but it was weird as usual. so after i showered i wrote out a text to him saying that even though we havent been communicating much recently i still miss him and think about him all the time and that i appreciate the chances i do get to talk to him. so i sent this message but literally the second it sent i got a message from him. like we sent our texts at the same time. so i started reading his text and it started with “perry……im really sorry but what we have isnt working out” skafjhkajdhfkjads so i felt like a jolt in my legs and had to sit down. so he sent this long ass breakup text and here are the basic points that he used

he isnt ready for a relationship/exclusivity (even though HE was the one who literally deleted all his dating apps the day after we met bc he wanted to focus on pursuing me)

he hasnt been making the effort and i deserve someone who does

he hasnt been opening up and he is aware of that bc he knows he isnt ready

i deserve someone who is in a better place in their life than he is rn/someone who has their stuff together

i dont deserve what hes putting me through

he wants time to be single and make mistakes and regret them (stupid ass reasoning btw)

he knew using texts was the wrong way to end it but he wasnt strong enough to do it in person

he apologized if i feel like i wasted my time on him/if i regret anything ive done w him (since the last time i saw him before this was when i had sex with him)

hes sorry that he isnt treating me better

not my fault at all

so yeah that was the text! i didnt even read it fully until later on like i skimmed it and called him immediately and asked if we could talk in person (ofc i got all choked up trying to ask and almost started crying over the phone) so he said yes he owes me that much so i grabbed my tissue box, tried to put on my shoes (my mom had to help me bc i was shaking too much) and drove to his apartment and then sprinted to his apartment from where i parked a block away. i got there and his roommates werent home so it was just him. he opened the door and i said hi and he let me in and it was v solemn so we went into his room and sat on his bed and this is where the drama really started

so i was like “can i have a hug” and he was like “yes” so we hugged and i started crying. so we hugged for a while and then we separated and i was like “ok so explain why you want to end this” so he started explaining it to me. i was crying and he was crying too but i was crying more obv! i was like bawling. his eyes were red and tears were falling and he was sniffling but he wasnt like crying hard

so he just explained that he was in a bad place when he met me and he still is in that bad place (in reference to his depression) and how its not me its him and how i deserve someone who puts in the effort and doesnt distance themselves from me and actually has the time to see me and i was annoyed bc caleb did the same thing and i am sick of other guys telling me whats best for me like *vicki from rhoc voice* how do you know whats best for me? and like obv just bc you have depression doesnt mean you dont deserve love, like he said he still liked me and wanted to be with me and how it was breaking his heart to have to do this so i did not want him to end something just bc he felt he didnt deserve me or that he wasnt worthy of my love or anything like that 

so he also explained how he wasnt ready to settle down and i was like sis we arent even officially boyfriends yet, its not like im asking you to marry me and have kids lmfao and he said he wasnt ready for exclusivity so i was like “does that mean you wanna fuck other guys?” and he was like “i dont know” so ????? and he was like “im feeling conflicted” so i was like wtf is going on in here on this day

also i asked if his roommates were home and he said no he was home alone tonight and that was part of why he was feeling so bad and its like sis…..if being alone makes you feel worse then making yourself even more alone by breaking up w me doesnt seem like the best way to fix that! and i told him that i was free tonight and he couldve just invited me over if he was feeling lonely and he was like “i thought you would be busy” like sis literally the only times i am ever busy on saturday nights is when im with him!! lmao

he also said he wasnt opening up bc he couldnt/wasnt ready for it yet, but like i wasnt asking him to open up like all i wanted was for him to put a modicum of effort into our conversations just to show that he cared, like we can just keep doing fun things like im not asking him to get all deep and vulnerable with me (although i would love that too)

so we just had a very emotional time, i was crying my eyes out nonstop and he was lightly crying as well, there was lots of hugging and holding and stuff so like i was really really REALLY losing it like i was so MESSSSSSSSSSYYYY like i was just getting all in my feelings and saying all the things im gonna miss about him and like apologizing for anything i did wrong/apologizing for not being enough for him and like it was really really bad. but i was still also cracking jokes like a dumbass throughout the whole thing lmao bc i like to find the humor in things

i decided to mention that i was originally planning to ask him to be my bf officially on our next date (that plan had changed since he became cold and distant the past week or two but originally i was planning on doing it on the next date after i got back from the retreat) just bc i was being emotional

at one point he was laying on the bed and i was sitting on the edge of it crying (and covering my face bc im an ugly crier even though he’d already seen plenty of footage of me crying at this point) and he held out his arms and was like “come here” and i was like “no” and looked away and he was like “please” like that was very satisfying bc it showed that he needed comforting as well at that moment

at one point i was just laying on my side rolled up in a ball scream crying into my hands now THAT was messy. it was nice though bc joel moved in behind me and tried to hold me and calm me down. speaking of calming down! there were some points where i got like………REALLY bad like i was breathing so hard and fast it was troubling but whenever i had a wave of that joel held me and tried to soothe me and help me breathe

i even offered to have an open relationship if he wanted (bc this was during the exclusivity convo) bc i was just trying to grasp at any straws i could at the moment in the hopes of reaching an agreement or just stalling for time so i could move past his walls and get through to him. in reality i would never even consider it bc it is definitely not for me but at the moment i was desperate. he said no though bc he knows i wouldnt want that and he said he didnt want me to compromise myself for him

so then this is when we reached the turning point. so joel was laying down and i was like half sitting on the bed/half laying on him. and i said something along the lines of “you dont have to go through this alone, i wanna be there for you” and like when i said alone he lost IT! like we had a breakthrough he started bawling just like i was this whole time!! obviously it was hard for me to see him in that state but it was also kinda nice to see how much he cared 

but then he started breathing really fast and he was like “i think im having a panic attack” so i was like uh oh so i was like omg do you want me to get off of you or something but he was like no stay here so i kept holding him and tried to help him ride it out. but then he choked out the words “i think im making the wrong decision” like !!!! i have never felt such a strong feeling of hope in my life! but i was just like its fine dont worry about it just breathe and btw during this event he was laying on his side so he was looking to the side while i was kinda on top of him so i was like at him. so then he turned to look me directly in the face and………………………

he said “I love you!” like !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hearing that made me SO so happy so i was like “i love you too!” and we hugged and kissed and then he was like “ask me!!” and i was like “ask you what???” and he was like “ask me what you were gonna ask me before!” and i was like “OH! joel……will you be my boyfriend?” and he was like “YES!” and then we hugged again and laughed and made out and it was really really passionate even though we were both gross with tears and runny noses, like it might have even been the most passionate kissing ive ever had! it was a very emotionally intimate moment and i loved it

so then he was like “im sorry” and i was like dont worry about it lmao so then we just continued cuddling and kissing and stuff for a while. he told me that he knew i loved him back bc during my breakdown i said “i really really really really liked you” and he said he knew i wanted to say i loved you lol

he also said hes gonna try to open up more and put more of an effort in so!! that was nice

so it was hot in his room and we were all sweaty on top of being gross from crying so we showered together which is always fun. and during the shower he was very touchy and he would like press his body against mine and give little kisses on like my chest or my back which i really loved. we also did some sexual stuff too

then we got out and dried off and he finally said he would watch flavor of love with me!! so we watched a few eps and it was super fun. then we cuddled until we fell asleep holding each other which is always one of my fave parts of our dates. he was very affectionate and sweet and i really liked it. then we fell asleep and in the morning i had to go home bc i had work or something

so yeah thats it! it made me really happy that he said i love you (and that he said it to me first!!) and i made sure he knew that he could always ask me for anything he needed if he was feeling down again or something. so now fast forward to today he is back to texting me every day and being an active and engaging texter! and i went over to do homework with him on monday night which was fun! and then on friday night he invited me over at like midnight and we got checkers and then we hung out and cuddled and watched more flavor of love. and then we did some more sexual things which was really fun! he was really really into me again and he literally is the hottest guy ive ever met so i enjoyed getting to make him feel good and stuff

on friday the 13th i am taking the gsa eboard + jami w me to go see the addams family musical at his school since he is part of the pit orchestra so that will be fun! i am very happy to have joel back and i am even happier that we are officially boyfriends now! and its so so so nice to get i love you texts again!! overall i am very happy with how things turned out and i am glad i fought to make it work instead of just seeing the text and being like ok bye

#personal #I'm posting this from mobile but I had it saved as a draft on my computer #so I hope the read more is still on it #if not.....sorry lol