#im gonna say it: fuck ernest hemingway

[gauchogf]

"love always hangs up behind the bathroom door. it smells like lysol. to hell with love, love is you making me happy and then going off to sleep with your mouth open while i lie awake all night afraid to say my prayers even because i know that i have no right to anymore. i'm through with you and i'm through with love" im gonna go bang my head against a wall after reading that ernest hemingway you've got me fucked up

#ernest hemingway #book is to have and have not

[kawaiicherryblossomperfection]

no likee this is not a kpop idol manga and it never was im a special interest assasin in the russian mafia and i have no clue who in the world understands my content its just the SUICIDe boys and me and ive been writing manga for only 2 years 11 days and have already figured out my way out of homelessness and poverty which was my main goal of joining the army and i didnt fail in anway besides from the men i chose to dait which is why i will only marry the SUICIDe boys who are asian skateboarders they invented neo mixed motorcycle bitch? no way! i super fucking was only mixed until march 2023 then i went to skateboarder hell and became asian like... full! but i wont get the macbook pro and new bf until next year which i deserve i also deserve no roommate besides my actual bf and a really fucking nice apt in austin tx or portland why? not my choice yea u can try to hire me by contacting me by phone 1800loseadick which will rethink common sense? ew! ur choice faggot when win the second round hey adonis! its desarae our favorite pet i miss u she is not atheist she worships the greek gods literally not the only one at all hey! whats this? ok so no one can off her a one time planet unless they offer me something! 20B thats ok next try harder 20 million thank you ok so next try harder hes a planet hereo no! that wa bad hes a real charmer and her favorite prodigee its a new baby aniyah brooklyn hollins that caused the damage that was done aniyah raped desarae hollins adonis loves her! shit dude echo nigger ew! christmas is canceled stop stop she didnt mean anything by it i love u! wait wait wait i forgot all about the greek gods protecting me ooops! literally no but adonis said no! its worth it reading platos closet theyre not good goddesses theyre the best goddesses of all time thats it so watch ur back am i gonna get enough money to spend things on? do not stop writing antything we will come back to u whats gonna happen to keeho and chanhee? they will die like men die like men in the picture of ernest hemingway are u a goddess now? yes i am! the goddess of suicide literally! she is she is forever young she is greek nationally she is perfect for the job literally theres something wrong with her lets bye bye bitchs! she is now adonis what? sister who has helped a long way! desarae hollins is the goddess of suicide a lovely advesary no we want everything her husbands are dangerous not her! the suicide boys are ok but that was creepy dude even for her! so fuck right off screaming blue it was mee skinnytuna lol this is so funny! we have all the gold so go fuck off dudee nah theyre death theyve got all of her other answers deathy deathy deathy grunge! grunge! grunge! hi ok so send me shit and cash app me $des2838 u made that movie? well my turn to say? yea! so fuck u punch u im a dead grandma these are my kids lets go home to january uh! lalalala back pop

#surfing #delusionals #princeton #bye bye club #bite hurts

[zaritarazi]

amaya’s 100th birthday party:

- so essentially rip was positive bc amaya is old, that like him, she’s very poised and hates unneeded attention. last year the team took rip to a TGI Friday’s and said it was his birthday and he still has legitimate night terrors about it

- but amaya is like no i think it’s sweet if they want to throw me a party it’ll be nice!!! and rip is like i trusted you. i trusted you and you have betrayed me 

- the email rip sends out to the bureau before the party is just: i have not done enough to prepare you all. forgive me. god save the queen

- historical figures invited to amaya’s centennial: benjamin franklin. let’s bring ol’ caesar back. marie antoinette. josephine baker & the expats. caligula

- i’m not even sure where they host it. they hijack a ritz carlton and raid the mini bar. they “”””order””” that ridiculously expensive suite in las vegas with a rotating bed and a pool

- all the heroes are invited except oliver!!!

- the team: well since amaya is turning 100 she needs a 100 layer cake!!! this is foolproof logic. it’s not even those thin crepe layers it’s 100 pretty decent sized layers this cake is fucking enormous

- CALIGULA BROUGHT BOOZE rip: DO NOT DRINK THAT

- three words: dog pool party

- i really feel like they try to give the party a 40s theme but they dont understand what that means so they’re all just wearing their 1940s outfits and like, tried to make the suite look like the jsa headquarters and amaya is like, kind of wistful about it and theyre like NO DONT BE SAD HAVE SOME CALIGULA BOOZE

- all the lens are there! force ghost len! citizen cold! occulus len! e-1 len! e-2 len! teen len! baby len! they’re all here!

- mari’s here! time is ripping at the seams! birthday!!

- carter lends gideon his body so she can hook up with people and sara is like FUCK why can’t gideon just take over carter?? who needs him?? this is a solution for everyone

- nate got amaya a tiny horse for her birthday. she loves that tiny horse so much - my instinct tells me tiny horse eventually runs off to do his own thing but that’s a different story

- the time bureau gets weird. definitely too weird, weird enough that ernest hemingway is like what the fuck is their deal, and sara’s like fuck i wish i knew

- mick: im gonna try to kiss all the of age lens at once. let’s do this

- the cast of timeless shows up at some point like this party is so bad for time it’s literally now throwing us off and a very drunk amaya kisses wyatt on the lips and is like “you’re nate.. . right? are you... ray? which one are you”

- someone sings a song and comes out of a cake. not the 100 layer cake we worked WAY too hard on that. come out of this much less valuable cake

- i mean it took rip about 2 minutes to say fuck it and just start chugging so now he sara and ava are laying on the floor wearing each other’s clothes and theyre like... we shouldnt have taken ecstasy from ben franklin 

- side note: mick probably also kisses ben franklin square on the lips

- kendra + amaya hook up with josephine baker

- a party so wild that everyone wakes up in the fifth dimension and rip’s mom has to come rescue them

#lot headcanon #legends of tomorrow #amaya's 100th: gird your loins

[samanthasroberts]

Pretty Little Liars Recap: Confessions Of A Mid-20’s Drama Queen

Welcome back to another week where I sit through my own personal hell, aka , and try not to put myself into an alcohol-induced coma. And shoutout to all the keyboard warriors who love to type shit in the commentsyall take this show way too seriously.

We start with Mona and Emily discussing Charlotte, who apparently stood Mona up the night of the murder. What kind of loser gets stood up by another chick at a shitty diner?

Emily is like and Monas like, uh no? I feel like thats pretty much the only answer you can give at that point. Emily figures that Mona changed her mind in the trial so that Charlotte would be out of jail and Mona could get to her, which is like real far-fetched.

Mona is like and OKAY thats a line straight out of .

Chris Hanson: Did you know that this was a 13 year old girl? Mona: I, uh, just came to talk to her.

Monas like *what would you do if your son was at home, cryin all alone on the bedroom floor.* and Ems like Monas like, well even if I wanted to kill her, she fucking stood me up so yeah. Of course, this whole conversation is overheard by A.

Aria is like,lets tell the police it wasnt me at the diner! Arias really seen some shit lately. She got burnt and questioned by the police. All Hannas had done to her is getting shitty room service food with a cryptic note. Spencer is like,

Lucas is back. Goddammit. Anyways, he overhears Hanna talking to weird ass Jordan on the phone, and is like Hannas like, Where are you gonna seat him Han? No one wants to sit next to the virginal weird kid from high school. You cant just mix the band geeks with the Plastics, thats not how this works.

Besides, there is this scenario:

Priest: Speak now or forever hold your pe- Lucas: MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Hanna is like, . Wear those ties Lucas, you look like a second place winner at a science fair. He tells Hanna that hes thinking of buying some factory and giving Rosewood a second chance. LOL rookie mistake.

Ali and Snaggletooth are being sexually aggressive in some shit bed and breakfast somewhere in bumfuck nowhere, East Coast. The Ali from Season 3 would have been honeymooning in fucking Paris rn. Oh how the mighty have fallen.

Speaking of falling, Ali trips on her skanky heel and takes a tumble down the stairs, effectively knocking herself out. OKAY, did I not set that up just perfectly?

Alis in the hospital with a concussion, and Snaggle is like, you need to stay in the hospital. Shes like and its like, because thats how injuries work dumbass. The manager of the shit hotel is like and its like duh you know that shit is tampered with.

Ali: I was really happy before I fell, maybe this is my karma Snaggle: Thats not how the Universe works

ARE YOU SURE? Because pretty sure its an established fact that what goes up, must come down. Also, Ali its not karma, you just clearly dont know how to put one foot in front of the other and walk like a normal fucking human.

Snaggle is like, its an accident and he would know all about those, since his face looks like it was a victim of a tragic lawn mower accident. Ali decides to text her friends a selfie of her in the hospital, because concussion photoshoots, so hot right now.

All the Liars are like . They have 3 days to give up the murderer, because A is a psycho. All the girls are shit talking Mona and Hanna comes to her defense, because Hanna is like, such a good friend.

Aria and Ezra are getting ready to go to a dinner with their boss and Ezras talking about how he doesnt like the book ending or some shit. Arias like and that shit is about to go from an Ernest Hemingway to a really quick with Ezras freaky self.

Hanna goes to visit Ali in the hospital and Ali tells her she is going back to Rosewood when she can gtfo of this hospital. Ali has flowers all over the room, because apparently people like her, wtf?, and Ali says that they are all from Snaggle.

Of course, Hanna is looking at all the flowers and sees a very creepy card that has pictures of a staircase, and all of them on it. Either Snaggle is one fucked up dude, or A is just like, really a dick. Honestly, probs both. Obvi, Hanna steals the card.

Emily facetimes Spencer a video of Mona and Sara Harveys body guard dude chatting it up. Weve all seen , Im expecting some bodyguard three-way action ASAP. Also, how did Emily even remember that body guard? I watch this show every fucking week and make it a point to write down every flaw they have, and even I didnt remember this. Wow, I need to get it together.

Also, them talking looks like any relationship I have ever had: Mona talking shit and the dude sitting there looking awkward. Spencer and Emily follow the bodyguard when he leaves.

Back to Snaggle and Hans. Hanna is like, And Snaggle is like, Im sure you said the same thing about that B and B, you human chipmunk. Hes like and its like cough, cough, lesbianssssss.

Spencer and Emily follow the bodyguard and act like idiots on crack and pretend to hit the bodyguards car. Hes like uhhhh no its fine, and Spencer somehow manages to get information on the papers he is holding. I have seen better body guarding by the fucking preteens in Project X. Seriously who is this dude?

Spencer learns that the documents our shit security guard has are blueprints to Radley, because of fucking course. Do they just hand out blueprints willy nilly in this town? God I hate myself every time I watch this stupid fucking show.

Aria is reading Ezras newest chapter and it flashes back to a conversation with Ezra and Nicole. Ezra is begging Nicole to come with him, but shes like

Anyways, Ezra goes to his typical EZRA MAD, EZRA SMASH mode and basically yells at her and leaves fucking pissed off. And yeah, thats the last time he saw his girlfriend. One girlfriend you took advantage of when she was a teenager, the other you let get kidnapped by terrorists. Let that soak in.

Hes like , and Arias like,

Emily follows the bodyguard to a fucking ice cream truck? Wtf? And hes just casually sitting there, licking a Drumstick, when Sara Harvey drives up and gets something from him. Wait a second, she cant text and grip shit because of her hands, but she can drive? The streets of Rosewood are not safe. Maybe she was the girl who tried to run over Emily at the diner. She wasnt really trying to run her over, she was just making a very sloppy three point turn.

Hanna shows Caleb the staircase card. Caleb is like why did you come to me? And Hanna is like They decide to call As bluff, because that plan has worked every time before.

Spencer is on the phone with Emily, when she is greeted by her boyfriend and his ex. What a time to be alive. They act super weird, and then Hanna makes up some bullshit story about how she killed Charlotte. She starts crying to Spencer and Spencer is like YOOOOO THIS IS HEAVY SHIT.

Then Hannas like PSYCH and tells Caleb Well thats the stupidest shit Ive ever heard. Caleb is like and its like NO WTF HANNA DOESNT KNOW JACK SHIT. LITERALLY ANYTHING AT ALL. NOTHING. SHE KNOWS NOTHING. Why doesnt anyone understand this?

Aria and Ezra are at dinner with the editor and shes like, l Arias like and Ezra is like NAH I GOT U FAM, Ill have it to you by next week. Ezras that dick in every college class who votes against the deadline extension. There is a special place in hell for you.

Hanna and Caleb are pleading their case to Emily and Emilys like And for once, I agree with her. Spencer backs up Caleb and Hanna and is like, *under her breath* . This sounds like every parental argument.

Emily/Dad: We cant support our daughter moving in with her boyfriend Spencer/Mom: We need to support her, because if we dont shell work against us. And I want grandbabies!

Hanna is like and grabs Calebs hand very lovingly. Spencers like and its all v awkward. Spencer does what I would 100% do in this situationmake snarky jealous comments and guzzle a shit ton of red wine. I am Spencer, we are all Spencer (without the bangs, obviously.)

Emily also suggests they visit Ye Old Lizard King Toby and let him know about this whole shindig. Again, this idea never works out.

The editor lady tells her that Liam isnt on the team anymore and Aria is like, uhhhh okay. So I guess that relationship is pretty much dead. Good talk.

Spencer flashes back to a night with Caleb in Europe, talking about art and his foster homes or some shit. Yawn. For once, Spencer actually looks good in a nice dress. You did okay PLL wardrobe, dont get too excited over your one time you didnt fail.

Its a pretty pointless flashback, except it shows major sexual tension between Spencer and Caleb in Europe, which is like right after they both broke up with their significant others. See, I told you it was pointless?

Caleb goes to drop Hanna off at Lucas place and he asks Caleb on a very awkward man date. Below are the actual quotes:

Lucas: Do you lunch? Caleb: Uh, yeah I lunch. Lucas: Lets lunch!

A whole portion of dialogue that could have been summed up to we should get lunch sometime. Fuck yourself, Freeform.

Lucas shows Hanna the factory he wants to build and is like Shes like If she even THINKS her shit is going to be better than Clothes Over Bros, shes straight trippin. Lucas is like Bitches love companies.

Okay my high school friends will barely buy me a beer, let alone give me a fucking factory.

Ali has a dream of some kind and sees her mom, dressed in a fugly green top and with some bushy ass hair. I know they have leave-in conditioner in heaven, you lazy bitch. She tells Ali that Snaggle will take care of her and that she loves her, yadda yadda. For a loving mother, she also looks like she lowkey wants to strangle the shit out of Ali.

Mona and Sara meet up, the two sketchiest bitches on the block. Sara looks like Miley Cyrus if she ate herself and took makeup inspiration from a raccoon. Seriously there is like 6 pounds of eyeliner on this bitch.

Mona is like and Sara is like Sara is like, . Oh stfu Sara. You look like a balloon shaped like Nick Carter and your only friend is a dude who eats ice cream on a street corner like a fucking poverty stricken 6-year-old.

Ezra and Aria are having tea like a bunch of pussies and Aria drops the A bomb on him. She goes from 0 to 100 real quick and is like I HAVE TO END THIS.

Back to Ali and Snaggle. Lucky us. Ali tells Snaggle to go to his conference in Chicago and that when he gets back theyll resume their daily programing of boning each other (what a fucking gross mental picture.)

Caleb and Hanna present their shit idea to the group, who all agreeits a shit idea. Caleb is like . Hes getting awfully close to Hanna and Spencer looks like she is about to cut a bitch.

Caleb: This isnt a cheer-ocracy Spencer: Youre being a real cheer-tator, Caleb!

The plan starts by Hanna sending a message to A saying leave my friends alone and then a Carly Rae Jepsen-esqe version of Call Me comes on, while the binary code of her text shows up on the screen. A gets the text of that dumbass admitting to murder. Its about to go down.

div.body_middle_part_right .bodypart:nth-child(n+2), a.prevBody{display: none;}

Source: http://allofbeer.com/pretty-little-liars-recap-confessions-of-a-mid-20s-drama-queen/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2018/12/17/pretty-little-liars-recap-confessions-of-a-mid-20s-drama-queen/

[adambstingus]

Pretty Little Liars Recap: Confessions Of A Mid-20’s Drama Queen

Welcome back to another week where I sit through my own personal hell, aka , and try not to put myself into an alcohol-induced coma. And shoutout to all the keyboard warriors who love to type shit in the commentsyall take this show way too seriously.

We start with Mona and Emily discussing Charlotte, who apparently stood Mona up the night of the murder. What kind of loser gets stood up by another chick at a shitty diner?

Emily is like and Monas like, uh no? I feel like thats pretty much the only answer you can give at that point. Emily figures that Mona changed her mind in the trial so that Charlotte would be out of jail and Mona could get to her, which is like real far-fetched.

Mona is like and OKAY thats a line straight out of .

Chris Hanson: Did you know that this was a 13 year old girl? Mona: I, uh, just came to talk to her.

Monas like *what would you do if your son was at home, cryin all alone on the bedroom floor.* and Ems like Monas like, well even if I wanted to kill her, she fucking stood me up so yeah. Of course, this whole conversation is overheard by A.

Aria is like,lets tell the police it wasnt me at the diner! Arias really seen some shit lately. She got burnt and questioned by the police. All Hannas had done to her is getting shitty room service food with a cryptic note. Spencer is like,

Lucas is back. Goddammit. Anyways, he overhears Hanna talking to weird ass Jordan on the phone, and is like Hannas like, Where are you gonna seat him Han? No one wants to sit next to the virginal weird kid from high school. You cant just mix the band geeks with the Plastics, thats not how this works.

Besides, there is this scenario:

Priest: Speak now or forever hold your pe- Lucas: MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Hanna is like, . Wear those ties Lucas, you look like a second place winner at a science fair. He tells Hanna that hes thinking of buying some factory and giving Rosewood a second chance. LOL rookie mistake.

Ali and Snaggletooth are being sexually aggressive in some shit bed and breakfast somewhere in bumfuck nowhere, East Coast. The Ali from Season 3 would have been honeymooning in fucking Paris rn. Oh how the mighty have fallen.

Speaking of falling, Ali trips on her skanky heel and takes a tumble down the stairs, effectively knocking herself out. OKAY, did I not set that up just perfectly?

Alis in the hospital with a concussion, and Snaggle is like, you need to stay in the hospital. Shes like and its like, because thats how injuries work dumbass. The manager of the shit hotel is like and its like duh you know that shit is tampered with.

Ali: I was really happy before I fell, maybe this is my karma Snaggle: Thats not how the Universe works

ARE YOU SURE? Because pretty sure its an established fact that what goes up, must come down. Also, Ali its not karma, you just clearly dont know how to put one foot in front of the other and walk like a normal fucking human.

Snaggle is like, its an accident and he would know all about those, since his face looks like it was a victim of a tragic lawn mower accident. Ali decides to text her friends a selfie of her in the hospital, because concussion photoshoots, so hot right now.

All the Liars are like . They have 3 days to give up the murderer, because A is a psycho. All the girls are shit talking Mona and Hanna comes to her defense, because Hanna is like, such a good friend.

Aria and Ezra are getting ready to go to a dinner with their boss and Ezras talking about how he doesnt like the book ending or some shit. Arias like and that shit is about to go from an Ernest Hemingway to a really quick with Ezras freaky self.

Hanna goes to visit Ali in the hospital and Ali tells her she is going back to Rosewood when she can gtfo of this hospital. Ali has flowers all over the room, because apparently people like her, wtf?, and Ali says that they are all from Snaggle.

Of course, Hanna is looking at all the flowers and sees a very creepy card that has pictures of a staircase, and all of them on it. Either Snaggle is one fucked up dude, or A is just like, really a dick. Honestly, probs both. Obvi, Hanna steals the card.

Emily facetimes Spencer a video of Mona and Sara Harveys body guard dude chatting it up. Weve all seen , Im expecting some bodyguard three-way action ASAP. Also, how did Emily even remember that body guard? I watch this show every fucking week and make it a point to write down every flaw they have, and even I didnt remember this. Wow, I need to get it together.

Also, them talking looks like any relationship I have ever had: Mona talking shit and the dude sitting there looking awkward. Spencer and Emily follow the bodyguard when he leaves.

Back to Snaggle and Hans. Hanna is like, And Snaggle is like, Im sure you said the same thing about that B and B, you human chipmunk. Hes like and its like cough, cough, lesbianssssss.

Spencer and Emily follow the bodyguard and act like idiots on crack and pretend to hit the bodyguards car. Hes like uhhhh no its fine, and Spencer somehow manages to get information on the papers he is holding. I have seen better body guarding by the fucking preteens in Project X. Seriously who is this dude?

Spencer learns that the documents our shit security guard has are blueprints to Radley, because of fucking course. Do they just hand out blueprints willy nilly in this town? God I hate myself every time I watch this stupid fucking show.

Aria is reading Ezras newest chapter and it flashes back to a conversation with Ezra and Nicole. Ezra is begging Nicole to come with him, but shes like

Anyways, Ezra goes to his typical EZRA MAD, EZRA SMASH mode and basically yells at her and leaves fucking pissed off. And yeah, thats the last time he saw his girlfriend. One girlfriend you took advantage of when she was a teenager, the other you let get kidnapped by terrorists. Let that soak in.

Hes like , and Arias like,

Emily follows the bodyguard to a fucking ice cream truck? Wtf? And hes just casually sitting there, licking a Drumstick, when Sara Harvey drives up and gets something from him. Wait a second, she cant text and grip shit because of her hands, but she can drive? The streets of Rosewood are not safe. Maybe she was the girl who tried to run over Emily at the diner. She wasnt really trying to run her over, she was just making a very sloppy three point turn.

Hanna shows Caleb the staircase card. Caleb is like why did you come to me? And Hanna is like They decide to call As bluff, because that plan has worked every time before.

Spencer is on the phone with Emily, when she is greeted by her boyfriend and his ex. What a time to be alive. They act super weird, and then Hanna makes up some bullshit story about how she killed Charlotte. She starts crying to Spencer and Spencer is like YOOOOO THIS IS HEAVY SHIT.

Then Hannas like PSYCH and tells Caleb Well thats the stupidest shit Ive ever heard. Caleb is like and its like NO WTF HANNA DOESNT KNOW JACK SHIT. LITERALLY ANYTHING AT ALL. NOTHING. SHE KNOWS NOTHING. Why doesnt anyone understand this?

Aria and Ezra are at dinner with the editor and shes like, l Arias like and Ezra is like NAH I GOT U FAM, Ill have it to you by next week. Ezras that dick in every college class who votes against the deadline extension. There is a special place in hell for you.

Hanna and Caleb are pleading their case to Emily and Emilys like And for once, I agree with her. Spencer backs up Caleb and Hanna and is like, *under her breath* . This sounds like every parental argument.

Emily/Dad: We cant support our daughter moving in with her boyfriend Spencer/Mom: We need to support her, because if we dont shell work against us. And I want grandbabies!

Hanna is like and grabs Calebs hand very lovingly. Spencers like and its all v awkward. Spencer does what I would 100% do in this situationmake snarky jealous comments and guzzle a shit ton of red wine. I am Spencer, we are all Spencer (without the bangs, obviously.)

Emily also suggests they visit Ye Old Lizard King Toby and let him know about this whole shindig. Again, this idea never works out.

The editor lady tells her that Liam isnt on the team anymore and Aria is like, uhhhh okay. So I guess that relationship is pretty much dead. Good talk.

Spencer flashes back to a night with Caleb in Europe, talking about art and his foster homes or some shit. Yawn. For once, Spencer actually looks good in a nice dress. You did okay PLL wardrobe, dont get too excited over your one time you didnt fail.

Its a pretty pointless flashback, except it shows major sexual tension between Spencer and Caleb in Europe, which is like right after they both broke up with their significant others. See, I told you it was pointless?

Caleb goes to drop Hanna off at Lucas place and he asks Caleb on a very awkward man date. Below are the actual quotes:

Lucas: Do you lunch? Caleb: Uh, yeah I lunch. Lucas: Lets lunch!

A whole portion of dialogue that could have been summed up to we should get lunch sometime. Fuck yourself, Freeform.

Lucas shows Hanna the factory he wants to build and is like Shes like If she even THINKS her shit is going to be better than Clothes Over Bros, shes straight trippin. Lucas is like Bitches love companies.

Okay my high school friends will barely buy me a beer, let alone give me a fucking factory.

Ali has a dream of some kind and sees her mom, dressed in a fugly green top and with some bushy ass hair. I know they have leave-in conditioner in heaven, you lazy bitch. She tells Ali that Snaggle will take care of her and that she loves her, yadda yadda. For a loving mother, she also looks like she lowkey wants to strangle the shit out of Ali.

Mona and Sara meet up, the two sketchiest bitches on the block. Sara looks like Miley Cyrus if she ate herself and took makeup inspiration from a raccoon. Seriously there is like 6 pounds of eyeliner on this bitch.

Mona is like and Sara is like Sara is like, . Oh stfu Sara. You look like a balloon shaped like Nick Carter and your only friend is a dude who eats ice cream on a street corner like a fucking poverty stricken 6-year-old.

Ezra and Aria are having tea like a bunch of pussies and Aria drops the A bomb on him. She goes from 0 to 100 real quick and is like I HAVE TO END THIS.

Back to Ali and Snaggle. Lucky us. Ali tells Snaggle to go to his conference in Chicago and that when he gets back theyll resume their daily programing of boning each other (what a fucking gross mental picture.)

Caleb and Hanna present their shit idea to the group, who all agreeits a shit idea. Caleb is like . Hes getting awfully close to Hanna and Spencer looks like she is about to cut a bitch.

Caleb: This isnt a cheer-ocracy Spencer: Youre being a real cheer-tator, Caleb!

The plan starts by Hanna sending a message to A saying leave my friends alone and then a Carly Rae Jepsen-esqe version of Call Me comes on, while the binary code of her text shows up on the screen. A gets the text of that dumbass admitting to murder. Its about to go down.

div.body_middle_part_right .bodypart:nth-child(n+2), a.prevBody{display: none;}

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/pretty-little-liars-recap-confessions-of-a-mid-20s-drama-queen/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/181188109727

[cakeicing99-blog]

"Robert accidentally dates a cryptid" Chapter 6

(Theres been a change to the story. Amanda is 15 instead of 5 now. I realized i was missing out on some good conflict. But thats all thats been edited. When i post this fic to ao3 it would be fully edited. Enjoy!) "Dad? Do we have to move or not? Dad!?" "My god, Amanda, I have to think!" "What's there to think about? If the agents are here we have to go!" Amanda snapped back. "I don't know about you- but I am never going back to that lab!" "How many times are we going to have to run? How many times do we have to start over? We have to end this cycle, Amanda," Grayson said, putting a hand to his temple. "What's so different about this place?...no. It's not that guy you met...Robert?" Amanda scowled. "You're not seriously staying here for some romance are you?" Grayson jolted. "R-romance? I don't know what you're talking about. Amanda...what are you talking about?" "You think I'm stupid or something? The whole month of hanging out, going to the bar, being so happy whenever I'm sleeping over at one of the Emmas house." Amanda crossed her arms. "...He offered protection." "Wh-what!? You told him about-" Amanda turned away, her breathing going brisk. "I can't believe you. You risked our lives for your boyfriend." "It's not like anyone would believe him!" Grayson immediately began doubting himself again. "I'm packing my things. In case you change your mind for the better," Amanda muttered and slammed her bedroom door. Grayson let out a shaky sigh. 'What the hell am I doing?' :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Lucien Bloodmarch tugged off the black hankercheif from over his upper arm. He winced, screwing his eyes shut. The bitemark was still there, the teeth denting and carving into his flesh with purple bruising his pale skin. The bitemark itself was shaped like a lemon, and it was much bigger than any human being's mouth could be. Lucien noticed Ernest coming down the alley. He quickly pulled up the hankerchief to cover the bite. "Hey dorkus," Ernest grunted. "...Hey," Lucien mumbled. "What's with the hankercheif? Moving on from edgy goth to cowboy now?" "Shut up, smartass," Lucien scowled. "So what is it you wanted to show me?" Ernest asked. Lucien took a deep breath and pulled down the hankercheif again. "Woah! Gnarly, man!" Lucien couldn't help but smile a bit at Ernest's comment. "Yeah. I heard this noise outside my dad's garden and something knocked me down." Ernest came closer to examine the wound. "Okay, but seriously, you should go to the hospital." "No, man, they'll think I'm crazy or something." "Lucien. That's the dumbest fuckin' thing you ever said. There's evidence right there. It's on your arm." "Yeah, but...the thing I saw...how would I explain that? Everyone's gonna find out I was smoking weed that night. Dad would be mad at me. They're gonna think this-" he covered the bitemark again- "is fabricated." "That's still fucking stupid. If you don't go to the hospital, it's gonna get infected," Ernest grumbled. "Look, I just don't want my best weed dealer dead, okay?" Lucien snorted. "Whatever. You know the way?" "Remember when I broke my ankle because you threw my vape box on that old lady's roof?" "And then you tried to climb that tree to get it and that old lady screamed at you and you fell?" Lucien laughed. "Yeah, yeah, that. That's how I know, now let's go." :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Agent George threw down the medical records on a table before his team. "We got a lead, boys. Yesterday at around 11 PM, Maple Bay resident Lucien Bloodmarch was bitten by a large creature with scales, as he describes. He went to the hospital this morning. The only people that we know of who have seen the bite mark besides the victim include the following: Ernest Hemingway Vega, Nurse Amy Dock, Doctor Jose Paxton, and Damien Bloodmarch." "What is our course of action, commander?" agent-in-training, Barry asked. "We don't know how this wound will effect Lucien. We must bring him in for testing until he is proven to be safe and/or until we bring in Subject 98." :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Grayson was out on a walk, silently saying goodbye to Maple Bay. He didn't want to think about leaving Robert, so he put every memory of them together into the back of his head. 'Goodbye Coffee Spoon that I've never gone to and never will...goodbye bicycle store...goodbye "Jim and Kim's"...goodb-' An agent's van! 'Oh shit!' Grayson ducked into an alley. He peeked his head out, just to make sure if it was time to run...but the agent was talking to...Lucien? Damien's boy? The agent pulled out an electrical weapon and stabbed it into Lucien's stomach. Lucien flailed his arms and legs with a small shriek before falling over. Grayson watched in horror as the agent lifted Lucien's skinny body and threw him into the van and drove off. 'What the hell was that?' Grayson thought. 'Was Lucien just...kidnapped?' After a careful glance around the perimeter, Grayson stepped out. What should he do? Should he tell someone? If he did he could be connected by the government as a witness...but if he doesn't do anything, the lab could torture, mutilate, or destroy yet another child. But this is new. The lab usually used babies and young children who were given up by their parents to the government. Every so often the government would donate one to the lab. Grayson and Amanda just happened to be two of them. Was Lucien an escaped hybrid like them? 'Okay. No more time to waste, Grayson. Just leave an anonymous tip to the police. That'll work.' ------------------------------------------------ (If you read and enjoyed this please leave an indication that you read it. Thats the biggest reason im posting this fic. If youre looking for a specific chapter, the link to the tag is in my blog description)

#dream daddy fic #dream daddy fanfic #dream daddy #robert small #cryptid #cryptid au #lucien #lucien bloodmarch #ernest hemingway #ernest hemingway vega #ernest vega