#im having an existential crisis again 🙃

[perpetuallyuneloquent]

perpetually rambling again (:

thinking about the dynamic between ostania and westalis — i know it’s based off of germany during the cold war but there is something kind of weird about the whole *situationship* between the two countries

allow me to elaborate 🙃

- twilight and other wise agents seem to vaguely dislike westalis despite them being painted as “the mildly better guys” compared to ostania which is funny because yuri and yor seem to love their country even though there are ridiculous criteria for seeming ‘normal’ (yes this could be propaganda but like uh. idk yuri seems smart enough to be able to see past the shitty stuff the sss does but he kind of… doesn’t. and yor working for a covert assassination group that does the more dirty work that the sss doesn’t want to do is more fishy 🐠 🐟 > don’t mind me i’m tired and i’m word blobbing here <)

- ostania has like? 2 governments? which is not surprising and we know the desmond shadow government is war-oriented while the current government is mostly peace-oriented and which government does the sss and garden support? (i think desmond but wouldn’t that mean that the current government doesn’t support the sss ??? seems more complicated 😐)

- wise has a very “konoha/anbu” relationship where the spies at wise seem to hate their job to an extent but they believe that doing their job will help make a better world even if they don’t believe in their own country that much. so i doubt current people from wise would defect but i feel like there are probably people from the war who had the same existential crisis twilight had and may have defected (people who are *not* part of wise is what i’m saying — i think these probable defects may be war generals and such but probably not spies idk if im making sense here lol) which might be another reason why ostania seems to have a mild upper hand on westalis which wise might have limited knowledge about. idkkk

anyway it kind of feels like the only people who want war is the desmond group but they seem to be corrupting much of ostania’s government at the moment which makes it seem like ostania is the enemy here but westalis seems a bit bad as a country as well so i kind of wonder if wise knows what they're fighting isn't the government ostania currently has but the shadow government hidden deeeeep yet evidently clear if that makes sense. idk what i'm talking about anymore ✌️

#spy x family #sxf #ostania #westalis #perpetually rambling #uhhhhh this has probably all been said before tbh idk where i am going with this :\

[emergingghost]

My friend having a kid and I'm having an existential crisis again🫠 I knew her since I was 10. What do you mean she having a kid? I can't even do a job? Also this kid gonna be the first kid I get to know and watch grow up. Cause PY my friend so she get to decide if I hang out with isty bitsy. My parent don't let me interact with my cousin baby. So either way my friend having a kid rn and I'm having an existential crisis on my failures 🙃

oh gosh i can definitely relate in ways to this, idk how old you are but i know for me at 26 it's a very strange and unsettled stage of life! everyone is doing extremely different things. i have friends from high school getting married and buying their first homes, moving in with partners and getting a dog together, or friends moving to the other side of the world. but i also have friends who like me feel very lost and don't have a job or are living at home or still studying! we all move at different paces which is ok!! its hard to believe that sometimes, because its easier to just compare yourself to others who appear more successful or progressed which i do all the time of course haha but you must be kind to yourself! that's the only way you'll be able to move forward when you realise everyone is different and meet with different obstacles! don't let what others in your circle are doing make you feel pressured to catch up to them! or on the other hand sometimes its less about where you want to do but rather its just weird observing other people and what they're doing because its so hard to fathom that they're doing that when you wouldn't even dream of it for yourself! complicated for sure! also i am so excited for you though, that you will finally have the opportunity to be a part of a young kid's life, i have a young nephew and a young niece and its so fun watching them grow up and seeing how they interact as they older, very sweet! im sorry to hear you're not allowed to interact with your baby cousin, that sounds like a very complicated situation!! but being able to see your friend's baby I'm sure will be lovely!

#this ended up being a long post sry!! but im always here if you need to talk about it more of course!