#im in to much pain and tired to write huhu | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

miyaur · 11 months

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omg can i req x-rated: the queen, blade with 7 and 10(?) its fine if u can only do one of those 👍👍 take as much time as u need to write huhu 🫶🫶

— i deleted my progress on this like 5 times, thne i went to sleep HELP

☆ warnings. nsfw, sex, all that stuff, fluff and smut at the same time, breeding kink (always n forever), bdsm, hickeys, choking

You look so adorable with my hands around your neck. You know we're more than just friends with benefits, you know that. — headcannons on blade being into bdsm ig idk

definitely likes to choke you during sex. the bruise it leaves when he lets go turns him on, like super on. it's not like he wants you to get hurt, but when he sees the bruises or marks he put on you and you can't help but just take it all in makes him feel so good.

probably you both got on the stellaron hunter business together, meeting either as kids and been with each other since or, well, meeting in early adulthood. I doubt that he went to college or what, but he probably just met you at work too. then you both worked it up from there

had an insanely hard amount of time trying to get to know you as a person honestly, and while on a mission, you both just got so tired of competing with each other in silence, why not work together?

basically you guys had hate sex for no reason, that's it, and no one else but you two know about it. the way he breeds your hole should only be to his knowing. and that's how he's done it. but slowly he's started to be more publicly affectionate, and almost barking at anyone that flirted with you.

he just.. wants people to know you are not up for dating of any kind. but it's not like you guys were the one dating.. right?

jealous asf when he sees someone else makes you laugh, and fucks his frutration out on you when you both are in private.

but he knows you don't like it either when he's acting up with someone else, only you should make him feel like that, and letting him work so easily in and out of your hole is a good way to say you're mine!

he loves choking, like seeing you in pain isn't really what he prefers, but when he's the reason to cause that pain, and hearing your little whimpers when they're touched or what? damn!! do you wanna see mini carbon copies of him or what???

likes to see when someone notices the bruises around your neck from last night, because you were just so adorable with his hands around your pretty neck!

you both actually liked each other, but treated each other like just another one night stand, like no ❌❌ dont say that ❌❌ like you bth are in denial till he gotta say somthimg ☹️‼️

during sex, probably after filling up your hole w his warm cum n stuff, he'll finally say; "we are more than just friends with benefits, you know that."

and indeed you do, you both start going officially out together, starting at a little coffee shop. somewhere far and away from everything else.

as he worked so sloppily and messily in and out of your hole, he couldn't help but utter the words "we're more than just friends with benefits, you know that." your eager nods were enough for him to finally finish, feeling all his warming cum shoot up inside you. slowly you felt his cock go soft inside you, looking back to his gaze, "gotta make sure it sticks, babe."

im mentally ill 😘😘😘‼️

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makur0 · 2 years

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GRR YUZURU BARK BARK- anyways ahem. begging for a rough nagisa that manhandles the reader. fucking them till they cry type beat frfr 🤭 WIF BONDAGE- okay im getting excited sorry (fem reader please and thank you huhu)

“Don’t disobey me.”

synopsis — he was in a slightly bad mood, and you didn’t seem to get the hints. but after a short altercation, and you pushing him on, things took a steamy turn. [nagisa ran x fem! reader]

content warnings — nsfw, mdni. hard! dom! nagisa, overstimulation, bondage, penetration, squirting, mindbreak(?), rough sex, reader being a whore 🤪 (i also just realized this was a bit more non-binary than female so sorry anon]

author’s note — this was really interesting to write because i think of nagisa as mostly a soft person. but it was fun, so thank you anon!

word count — 1117

"WELCOME HOME...?"

Well, this was certainly new. While Nagisa would always return your embrace, today he seemed... different. He merely gave you a strained smile before walking past you, his posture almost stiff as he went into the bedroom and shut the door behind him. You were confused, your arms drifting back down to your sides. You were perfectly aware that he could have had a tiring day as an idol, but even before he wouldn't be this closed off.

You probably were overthinking. Brushing it off, you jumped onto the couch and turned on the telvision as you waited for Nagisa to be done.

---

"Hey, babe~"

amber-red eyes looked up from his book, his gaze unsettling as he watched you walk around the bed and plop yourself next to him. The book in his hands almost bounced away at the motion, but he managed to keep a good hold on it. And was it just you, or did his mouth slightly twitched into a frown as you grew comfortable next to him?

Not thinking much of it, you placed your head on Nagisa's lap, facing his stomach. "How 's your day?" You mumbled through his shirt, wrapping your arms around his waist.

You weren't aware of the unreadable look he was giving you, and his tightening grip on his book. If you were really paying attention, his focus was now long gone from it. "It was... good," He started off slowly, almost as if he was holding something back. "How about- yours?"

You chuckled against his torso, the vibrations against his skin causing him to flinch, a controlled exhale leaving his mouth.

“It was really good,” You answered, grinning to yourself. “Like usual, having the house to myself is hella fun... but it got boring after a while. Hey, whatcha reading...?” Out of nowhere you turned over and grabbed the book right out of his hand, curiously looking at it.

That. Was his snapping point.

You yelped as the book flew out of your hand, now lying on the floor discarded as Nagisa towered over you. Burning crimson eyes glared down at you, a scowl twitching on his face.

“You really are testing my patience,” He hissed, his usual calm demeanor taking a 180. “And you don’t seem to know when to back down.”

Your throat dried up, forcing an uneasy chuckle out as you glanced back up at him. “Uh...”

The albino stared at you, snorting as you failed to give him an answer. “You were talking so much before,” He snapped. “Has the cat finally got your tongue?”

“Y’know,” You whispered, trying a weak smile as you took your chance at making the atmosphere light once again. “Th- this is kinda hot...”

“...”

Thankfully Nagisa pulled away from your face but still hovered over you, a searching look in his eyes. Yes, kudos for you for breaking up the tense air.

And also scoring you one hell of a night.

“So you like when I’m... mean to you,” He said softly, watching his own hand drift towards your chin and cupping it. “So...”

Fingers wrapped around your neck and tightened, your eyes widening like saucers and your mouth opening like a fish. Nagisa scrutinized your expression as he choked you, looking for any hint of pain...

But well well, we do have a slut in our hands.

Blush blossomed in your cheeks, a hungry look sparking in your eyes as you stared back up at the poker-faced male.

“My intuition was correct...” Nagisa murmured, his gaze darkening. Tilting his head and looking down at you from his nose, he chuckled a bit. “Then I guess the both of us will be having fun tonight. So...

“Don’t disobey me.”

...

“N-NagisammMMPH!”

You elicited a loud moan as he grazed over your sweet spot again and again, eyes rolling up to your skull. The male gritted his teeth, furrowing his eyebrows as you sucked him in whenever he thrusted deep inside of you. A dark green scarf tied your hands well over your head, your fingers twitching over the knots as he relentlessly fucked you into the bed.

Slick had started to build up from under the two of you, a white ring surrounding the base of Nagisa’s cock. You two were going at it for... how long? thirty, fourty-five minutes? All you knew was that you were close to your breaking point. As for him...

Well, he didn’t seem close to being done with you. At all.

“You said you wanted this, slut,” He harshly said, grabbing your face and forcing you to look at him as he fucked you through an orgasm, your sensitivity heightening. “And I’m giving it to you. So take what I have and don’t you dare try to stop me.”

Hot tears built up in the corners of your eyes, your limbs shaking violently from overstimulation. Nagisa had continued to pound into you, not giving you even a sufficient break even when he came himself. As the pleasure stimulated you once again, you noticed something different, something weird arising. But you realized too late.

With a loud wail and your body convulsing, you came again twice as hard as the previous one. Nagisa stuttered his hips, pulling out slightly to only see clear liquid spurting out of your sex. Red-orange eyes watched with wonder as your chest heaved, trying to recollect yourself in the limited seconds you were given.

“Amazing...” The albino slid back into you again, causing you to almost sob. Too much, too much-

The tears that were building up in your eyes soon fell as you cried out in severe overstimulation, the salty drops mixing in with your sweat and spit that collected at the base of your neck. Nagisa didn’t seem to notice, nor care. Your cries were white sound to his ears as he started to chase his own high, a stuttering groan leaving his mouth as he filled you again, some of the sticky fluid dripping out and soaking the sheets.

Your shortening breaths and hasty moans were more than enough evidence to tell him that he thoroughly broke you. He almost felt proud at this, almost as proud as whenever his idol group would successfully complete a live. And the fact that you were more sexually active than him certainly gave a boost to his ego... and probably bruised your own.

You didn’t seem to notice that he had finally stopped his motion, begs and pleas quietly spilling out of your mouth. He still kept himself well inside of you, but he dipped his head over to yours and pressed a chaste kiss on your lips, bringing you back into reality.

“You did great, love.”

#enstars smut #ensemble stars smut #nagisa ran smut #nagisa ran x reader #ensemble stars x reader #enstars x reader #enstars #ensemble stars

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snzunii · 2 years

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AND SUDDENLY, THERE'S NO YOU.

+ pairings. seishu inui x f!reader

+ tags. angst, established relationship, cheating, hurt no comfort

+ wc. 1.6k

+ note. hi hi. here's my first seishu fic and its angst yay hhehehe sorry huhu the things that i could only write as of this moment is angst and shits that would make me cry ehehe maybe this fic is based on real events, we'll never know 👀 jk, anyway sorry if its not that good cuz im jus typing what i feel hahadhjkashjkdsa

reblogs are always appreciated! <3 tagging bby pat @manjiroscum muwah hehe

You have been staring into thin air ever since you sat on a stool on the counter, stirring your coffee for what feels like an eternity. You look around your apartment and it has been the same morning everyday for the past few weeks—the same, miserable atmosphere that you have grown tired of.

You wonder why it feels this way—but you thought, life is just like this sometimes. There are just days that you feel like you want to fall apart and tear your heart into pieces. There are just times where the universe doesn’t agree with you.

But you know that you couldn’t put it all on the universe because you know the real reason why you have been feeling this way. You just don’t have the guts to take it; it was clear as a bell but you have chosen to be oblivious about it and the more that you do this to yourself, the more your days become unbearable—like you have been walking barefoot on the shards of your broken heart.

And it was true, you do not have the guts to take it and ask some questions. You want to let it be because there’s still a hope inside your heart that this was just a phase and everything will be alright in time. You refuse to just accept that this is beyond unfixable.

“Hey.”

With a faint smile, you looked at him. “Breakfast?”

“Can’t. Need to go to the shop right now.” Seishu informed you while pulling the zipper up on his uniform. “I’ll see you later.”

You have to understand him, that’s why you need to shove the disappointment down and be fine with it. “Oh. Okay.”

Seishu just gave you a mere nod as he was in a hurry. You stood up and accompanied him at the door, fixing his collar as you both walked by while you gave him your daily reminders. “Take care…”

You wanted to say it but throwing those words around feels such a waste when you know that you wouldn’t be reciprocated. You’ve chosen to ignore everything but you can't deny the pain that you feel whenever he taps your shoulder in response to the words you just said. Was it hard to talk to you?

No matter how you chose to be blind about it, you’re aware of how much he changed around you. Seishu is a man of few words at times but if he has to say something—he would say it, if he really wants to. He opens up to you and tells you all his troubles because you’re his safe place, he always has his defenses down when he’s with you—but now, it feels like you don’t know a single shit about him and what he thinks. There’s an invisible wall between the two of you and you couldn’t get past it.

He left you alone on the other side as if you’re anybody else—but you’re not.

“Thanks.” he simply said and he was gone. It was ridiculous, Seishu doesn’t know how or when it happened but it was worse when he woke up next to you and it felt like you’re just somebody else that he’s sharing the bed with. That he woke up and doesn’t feel like tucking your hair behind your ear, that he doesn’t feel like kissing your forehead.

Everything felt like a job that he doesn’t want to do anymore. You felt like a job that he grew tired of.

He wanted to let you down slowly. He’s direct and true to his words, you know that about him even if it’ll hurt him or somebody around him, but maybe you’re still not just ‘anybody’ to him yet because he doesn’t want to hurt you by saying things that he wasn’t sure of before. But as the days went by—weeks even, he was sure that all of this was just a cycle of things that he’s done for years on end and he wanted to get out.

And so, he started by being blunt—it doesn’t matter if it’s in person or in text messages—he was pulling away from you, little by little until the long tooth-rotting messages you always send to each other when you’re far away from one another turned to you, waiting for him to message you back and him, responding to you after hours with one simple word.

Until the nights where he would listen to you talk about your day and hold you close to him turned to the nights where he’s scrolling on his phone while you happily tell him all the details and in his mind, he was waiting for you to notice that he was not interested to hear what you’ve done all throughout the day.

He knew it was unfair to treat you this way but he couldn’t bring himself to just stand up and tell you that he doesn’t love you anymore.

It was unfortunate, it was a cruel twist of fate because he swore years ago that he would never stop loving you and yet, here he is.

He didn’t have the heart until he went home and saw you sitting on the couch and instead of smiling at him and asking him about how his day went, you greeted him with silence. He wished that you wouldn’t look at him and stay that way. He didn’t want to see the hurt reflecting from your teary eyes when he’s about to hurt you. When he's about to break the heart of the person that he loved for years.

He was about to walk towards you but you started saying some things that made him stop.

“I woke up this morning and you weren’t there to tell me good morning. You didn’t even kiss me goodbye when you went and left for work.”

Seishu wasn’t supposed to say anything but the look on your face made him blurt it out—he couldn’t hurt you anymore.

“I met someone else.”

…

How did it end up this way?

That’s the only question running through your mind as of this moment as you look at the boxes piling up on the floor—at the empty shelves that were once filled with all the memories that you hold dear to your heart.

You couldn’t deny the immense weight on your heart, pinning you down to a never-ending misery that slowly claws its way on your whole being; it was eating you up, inch by inch—every minute, every second and every hour of your every day for the rest of your life.

It eats up your soul and your sanity until all of what’s left is a shell of a person that you don't even recognize anymore whenever you look at the mirror. All you could see was a person who wasn’t even trying to get herself back because of the irreversible damage that has been done on her.

It wasn’t all your fault but how come you’re sitting alone thinking if you could have done something differently so it doesn’t end up like this.

How come you’re thinking that maybe there’s something you need to fix so that things didn’t have to be this way.

It was so mind-wrecking, it was like your heart was being squeezed whenever you try to breathe; it was so excruciating that you wish to just lose yourself into oblivion so you don't have to try and pick yourself up—saying that you’re fine when in reality, you’re not even a centimeter close to being okay.

“Guess that’s all of it.” Seishu said as he walked down the stairs, carrying a box filled with clothes that you neatly organized on your shared cabinet just weeks ago.

You couldn’t bear to look at him. Because you know that once you do, you’ll break down crying in front of him—you know yourself, you’ll beg and make a fool of yourself.

It doesn’t matter how much it hurts, how much you picture him with someone else. You think you can do it, you think you can shove it down as long as you’re with him you’re going to be okay because you couldn’t imagine a life—a new morning where you don’t see him the moment you open your eyes.

“Seishu.”

“Hm?”

“I want to be with you.” you looked at him, letting your tears fall as you walked towards him. The things that you were holding now discarded on the floor as you latch on to him.

You pulled away, pointing at your chest where your broken heart lies. “But it hurts. So much. Here.”

“Everytime I look at you, I always picture you with her. Everytime I try to remember the moment where you kissed me there’s always you and her. I couldn’t see you and me—us.” you sobbed, clutching your chest as you cry your heart out. “I couldn’t look at you the same. I always pictured you as someone who would never hurt me. Never. You were it, Seishu. You were the one. I swore that you’ll be my first, last and my only one but I wasn’t your only one. I wasn’t.”

Seishu could only look at you with remorse reflecting from his eyes which held adoration for you before. “We were okay. We had it all planned out—everything, Seishu. But how could you do this? How could you hurt me like this?”

“So, you should let me go.” he said, Seishu wasn’t void of his feelings for you at all, that he doesn’t feel his heart being squeezed just by looking and listening to you. “I said that I would never hurt you but I did and I don’t deserve you.”

What you will say might be cruel—but he shattered you, the things that you will say doesn’t compare to the damage that he put out to ruin you. “You know what I wish for right now? I wish that I hadn’t met you so I wouldn’t have to wake up tomorrow knowing that there’s no you anymore.”

#seishu inui x reader #seishu inui #seishu x you #inupi angst #seishu angst #inupi x you #inupi x reader #tokyo revengers angst #tokyo revengers x you #tokyo revengers x reader

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itsjusta · 3 years

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March 16, 2021

its been a long time since i asked for reassurance and comfort doeee becos i know that at the end of the day, all i have is me and that i need to stay strong for myself doeee but i also know that there are people who can help me doe and u are one of the people that makes me feel safe and comforted doe 🥺 you are one of the people jd doe nga i know will always have my back and das why i asked u to say those things today doeee hehe i was contemplating jd if i will ask dat cos i’m shy to u doeee but hearing it from you will make me feel better doeee 🥺🥺 hahah idkkkk doe this afternoon i cried a lot doe cos i felt so uneasy and i feel so scared for the coming months doe :(( i feel so scared sa changes doeee and bsag ingon ko nga i let go tka (hahahhaha hayst kaya ko ba?!?!), i still feel so scared nga ikaw mismo dili na gusto makig keep in touch with me doeee 🥺🥺🥺 cos aishhh i think a hassle for you gyd doeee to talk to me sumtyms i feel like you’re tired of me naaa hahah i’m scared doe that u will not want me to be in ur life aishhh i think not man pd na mahitabo ryt???? but we dont know gyd doeee basin u will not see me as ur bff anymore hahah its okay doeeee its very scary but if that comes i will not hate u or blame u doeee i can never feel that way saimo doe!!! no matter what i’ve e experienced the past year becos of all this, all i have for u is positive feelings langgg okayyy hehe and aishhh if i also see dat di na gyd ka ganahan makig talk doe, i will respect u doeee

i just feel scared doeee hahah 4 months pa ayha mag 4th year doe and so many can change and im scared gyd that the changes will hurt so much :(( aishhh hahah but we’ve come a long way since our break up doeee and i’ve come a long way also in fighting all the pain!!! basta no matter what life will bring i will always have love for you gyd doe and u will always hold a part of meee hehe and ion ever wanna cut u off from my life doeee i still want u to be updated about me and i want to be updated in you too 🥺🥺

(im writing this at night na doeee)

this day was emotional doeee i cried a lor in the afternoon and at night!!! thank you doeee for granting my request even doe its an idiot oneee hehe thank u cos u dont make me feel like im weak or a samok one doeee huhu u can also ask for support and comfort from me okaaay u know i will always give it to u just like how u give to meee 🥺🥺🥺 even tho u will probably not come to me when u sad or angry or scared cos u have a gf naman, i’m always available doeee i’m always a call and chat away just like old times okaaay heheh u can even just come to my house diretso aishhh!!! and u also bring me a lot of comfort doe just by reading my diariesss cos it makes me feel like u’re there listening to all my rants just like before alsooo heheh makes me feel like the old times where we just chika everything doeee and dat makes me happy cos u still give an effort to read my idiot diariesss hehhehe my diaries lang gyd doe is where i can say everythinggg cos im shy to tell people about what i’m feeling now doe and its also not good to tell them about us doeee cos aish i know gyd us talking is just a secret doeee hahah ion want people to talk about u doeee heheh das why i try my best to endure everything doeee

edit: this after our call na doeee thank u sooo muuuuch doeeee for talking to me and giving me timeee 🥺🥺 super thankful for u doeee!! issa nag labad na ako head dis is when i know dat i’ve been crying too much 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ but aish i get happy when i hear ur happy and lively voice doeee heheh u a jolly person gyd and im happy na ure back to being so happy doeee

have a good morning!!! (cos i think u’ll read dis in the morning na hehe) and u ampiiing doeee dont be an idjot aish

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morningpages-louise · 6 years

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July 19, 2018

hello hello. it's july 19, 2018. 1 more month til this term ends. ka fast uy. yesterday i had quite an emotional post. i had a rough time last night eh huhu and i feel like at the moment, im still feeling remnants of that, but im trying to look forward. it's a new day after all. i'm working on doing my routine, my everyday routine. i have waken up, taken a shower, listened to podcasts while getting ready and putting my makeup on, cooked a hearty breakfast and now im moving on to my morning pages, a habit i have started to look forward to as it allows me to pour my heart into words and scramble through my thoughts and emotions. i still feel a bit of sadness from what i was feeling last night. maybe it will always be like this? hopefully not . it's a new day. positive thoughts positive thoughts. i am surrounded by love and compassion. kaya this :) so what's in store for me today? well i'll have to get ready for my report for concept, and i think i will just have to look for a new topic for writing cause the schizo angle just doesn't seem like it's happening :( it's proving quite difficult to look for people with schizo. it is super sayang huhu cause it's such a good article. i think it is a very misunderstood mental disease and i'd love to get to the bottom of what it's like to live with the illness pero no one is stepping up eh. i feel like a lot of people are closed on this topic because they're somehow ashamed due to society's image of them :( but yeah i think ill also start on my homework for philippine primer, the proofreading one, daming time lol it's so easy to get distracted and paralyzed by ones thoughts. i have an intense longing for tsai i miss him so much :( not sure if i miss him or his company but i think it's a little bit of both. god it' s so hard to just keep your head up all the time and forget about someone i dont think it ever gets easy but we just keep trying don't we until one day we become numb to that feeling :( what a sad thought but it is the reality of life. sometimes i don't know why we take life so seriously. like why is it so hard? why is life filled with loneliness and pain and sadness and frustration? why can't things just be easy. why can't we be free to do what we want without the thought of what people will think of us not popping up. why is life so god damn hard. do we, people, make it hard? i feel like we do. i feel so imprisoned by my own mind. i can never feel authentic because of all the limitations my brain has created all the illusions that fill it. if i could do anything right now, i would leave this city. i love you manila but you can be so frikken lonely sometimes. i want to go to europe. it seems like a place where solitude and being alone is a normal occurence. something people don't look at :( i'm sad and i dont know why im sad all i know is i wish life weren't so hard :( im gonna work on my goals after this and my habit tracker. i constantly have to remind myself that 2018 will be the year of blooming for me. i will bloom. i will develop. i will become closer to the person ive always wanted to become. nothing will stop me. NOTHING GOD DAMN IT. huhu galit si ate but im just tired. these feelings can be so debilitating and tiring man :( i just wanna be freeee. i want to be free to be who i am. i want to embrace my authenticity. i want to connect. i just want to let go of all society standards and be my own goddamn person. i want to do yoga lol i shall do when i get back :( i fucking love my yoga practice, keeps me sane and keeps me grounded. so yeah i actually love sharing my thoughts in here. maybe ill make this a 2 day habit. it's nice to put out my thoughts here and let out what im feeling cause it can be such a burden at times just to keep it all in you know. it's nice to put it out i wish i could put out my thoughts to a real person but i guess this will do.. good bye

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itsjusta · 3 years

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TAAS2 NI DOEEE HEHEHE READ EVERYTHING HUUUH!!

Feb 15 (Mon)

i got so busy in da hapon doe 🥺 i cleaned da cr huhu im so kapoyyy and then i felt a little kulbaan doeee cos nag huna2 ko sako sched sa mon-wed dis week issa so busy doeee :((( i have to do pa today one assignment and then practice for our prelims then finalize half of my midterms theeeen study for ur philo HAHAHAHAH aissshhh i also feel very kahilakon doeee idk and my arms kay murag ga kurog2 doe :(( aish im too busy for these feelings!!!!

4:15 pm —— i was doing my assignment but idkkkk my heart is beating fast jd doeee and my arms feel numb and ga kurog2 and i have this kulbaan feeling :((( UGH issa need to take a break :(( also wanna cry but i cant cry doeee but i eventually cried na dayon doeee

i also didnt continue to work nalang doeee issa i dont feel well physically and emotionally hahahha �� im back to working doe and i cried a looootttt cos im writing about love HAHAHAH

but the practice was cancelled sooo i started na my surprise for u para mas less2 ako i do ugmaaa i started na the peanut butter bars unta lang di ma epic fail uyyy or basin di diay ta mag kita sa wed hilak ko!!!!

Feb 16 (Tues)

issa wake up ko so early kay gi wake up ko sako groupmates and aishhhh so busy na dayon mi prac and do sa amo midterms!!!! 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ and i’m so sleepy na gyd doeee huhu

so kapoy ni nga day doe cos whole day atubang sa screen issa maka drain doe and maka labad sa head issa wa gyd ko na do nga acads kay mag utro pami reshoot so sayang effort but sge nalang doeee huhuhu alsooo excited for my surprise tooom hope u like it :((((

Feb 17 (Wed)

Woke up at 7:30!!! so early so sayo pd ko nag cook for your giftsss and for our lunch hehehe im always excited to cook for u doe and give u gifts 🥺🥺🥺 and aishhh im really happy doe that u still laag hereee issa when i’m with u i feel safe gyd doe 🥺🥺🥺 u give me so much comfort gyd doe thank u sooo much 🥺🥺 even though u dont say it, i know u care a lot for me gyd doeee (or maybe assuming lang ko hahahah) but aishhh thank u for keeping me in your life :((

i’m sorry i cried a lot doeee huhu idk also but aishhh its hard for me to let go of you gyd doeee and moments like this issa makes me realize na i still have so much love for u gyd doe :((( issa both tears of joy and sadness man to kanina!! hahahha im happy na u still make time for me doeee and im happy gyd that i get to be with youuu but also sad cos aishhh issa i know everything is so hard gyd doe and usahay ra au ta makauban huhu what i said was true doeee that i will endure everything basta its for ur happiness!! hehhe u know i’ve endured sooo much the past months but i never got angry with u gyd doeee cos i know u were happy man with your decisions!!! heheh i can never hold bad feelings for u gyd doeee my heart is just full of gratitude and love for u!!!! i just want u to be happy saimo life doeee career, acads, family life, with friends, and saimo gf doeee heheh even though its so sakit for me but i just want gyd na mahappy ka heheh and aishhh im happy gyd doe nga part pako saimo lifeee 🥺🥺 im happy that u talk to me pa doeee and that i still get to be with youuu heheh makes me happy that you’re there for me whenever i have chikaaa!!!! thankkkkk youuu eriiiiccc!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️

and giving gifts is one way i can show how much i appreciate you doeee :((( and thank youuuu for making me feel cared for and special :((( issa u always make me feel lyk dat gyd doeee with ur hugs and kisses thank u :(((( and aish i get so soft for u gyd doe esp when u cry huhuhu dont cry na ok!!!! i’m happy this way man heheh i’m happy doe that u still let me show my love for u and im happy and grateful that u keep me in ur life doe 🥺 i just always hope and pray that my heart can endure watching u love another doe just until i can move on hehe and i think my heart is getting stronger naman doe but aish there are just times gyd that i cannot kaya it heheh but das okay ryttt!! thank youuu kaayo for coming here doeee thank u for giving me your time and for the effort!!! i appreciate it so much doe cos i know its hard gyd to come visit me with your situation now but u still make time for me gyddd thank youuuuu 😭😭😭❤️❤️

anddd how r u doe??? maulaw ko ask in person doe idk why :((( i hope you’re okay lang also haaaa maybe hurting napd ka there :((( i want u to be genuinely happy doeee and i will also get there soon!! apas rako!!! ❤️

Feb 18 (Thurs)

started my day early cosss we had to shoot sa gmeet doeee heheh its a nice day doe idk why!! the weather is nice heheh also i chika to u about khalid doeee hahaha shhh lang ok!!! 🤣 issa i got scared doe i just inbox zone him HAHAHHAHA di jd ko ga entertain ug mga laki doeee cos i dont have gana gyd to talk to others doe!! issa just want to be single lang gyd doeee cos di pako ready also wa pa gani ko ka move on!!! hahahahha

dis day was nice and chill lang doeee i did ur finman hehhe and had an exam dayooon and watched kdrama with mom!! pa tatt nako toooom OMGGG are u excited for me too?!!

Feb. 19 (Fri)

got my first tatt ommgggg it was sakit doeee but kaya lang!!! heheh i was also so excited to chika gyd to u doeee but i know galaag ka busa i have to wait doeee :((( aish issa ka cry dayon ko cos why am i so excited to talk to someone na naay lain priority :((( HMP KALUOY BA AYA!! HAHHAHA but aishhh issa i prefer lang like dis doe kesa i will pugos myself to entertain and talk to others issa cannot gyd doe cos i really dont have the gana hehhe just letting myself cry and maoy now doeee it’s just times like these when i realize how painful this situation is doe

also read this quote on ig dayon nga “I suppose I’ll just keep loving you, until one day it ends.” 🥺🥺 aish made me cry again cos i think this is what i’m gonna do gyd doeee and i hope u just let me love you until then doeeee 🥺 be happy and inlove with another doeee i’ll just be by your side loving you hehe and thank u for letting me love you and be in ur life!!! i dont think my love for u will end doe but u know what i mean hehe thank u cos u not shutting me out or pushing me away hehehe issa i’m sorry i always sorry doeee its just dat i feel like i’m putting u in a bad place :(( but ahhh i appreciate you so much doe and everything u do for me!! :((( thank u also for being so supportive and appreciative for meee aishhhh thank u for making me feel special 😭

Feb 20 (Sat)

happy marriage anniv to ur parents doeee!!! hehehe

woke up at 9:30 then cooked carbonara hehe gitiwas nalang nako pasta smol nalang maaan tired ko uy hehe issa rest day also today from acads doeee issa uban man ko there ila ate sweet and issa tambay2 lang ko there doeee tas pag uli so tayurd ko ka nap ko sa byahe and sa house kadjot hehe then at night watch lang ko kdrama sa room ni mom hehehe issa i like having no acads to do!!

Feb 21 (Sun)

soooo tugnaaaaw cos there’s a bagyo i woke up at 10 na!!! issa grabe ako kurog2 uy heheheh ion like dis weather issa so colddd dili ko ka lihok2 ug ayo cos tugnaw!!

issa also cried today cos aish i remembered our memories doeee and how we were so clingy with each other esp me 🥺🥺 issa like di jd ta agwanta not mag kita dugay doe and di pd ta sumhan sa each other hahahaha we were sumpay tinae gyd!!! aishh idk dali ra gyd kyko maka cry basta maka think ko about you or about sato past doeee issa aish cannot contain gyd emotions :((( and even if now i dont get the same effort from u doe its okaaay becos i chose this man pddd i chose to be in your life gihapon hhehe and aishhh lets just sulit dis doeee i want to sulit pd nga maka talk pako saimoha cos maybe a year from now dili na doeee!! maybe pila ka months imo nako i shoo shoo saimo life!!!! hhahahah but thank u doeee cos i know u want to keep me in ur life gihapon bahala lisod 🥺🥺 thank u im touched huh!!!

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