#im listening to all 3 campaigns at the same time now and im not sure if thats the best plan lol

[foxtriestobiteandmaimandkilland]

Hi hello spoilers for the ENTIRETY of riptide (specifically episodes 78, 93, 110, tho the entire campaign ep1-ep115 is talked about here) and also. A read more since this is a very. Very. Long post. And i dont intend to colour of the sky you <3

Yknow im just thinkin like ik the common theory is that chips the nameless prince and im still pretty in agreement but im also. Thinking.

Bc i relistened to episode 78 where goobleck finds the book on the nameless prince. (32:35ish) And id basically entirely forgotten abt it until i relistened to 93, heard charlies sparknotes version n wanted to listen 2 it for myself. And like.

Im pretty sure, unless im interpreting grizzlys words wrong, that the nameless prince is whatever entity was mentioned in the 110 prophecy ?

Tho its hard because. He gave a summary of what the book was about since goobleck didnt properly read it i think he just kinda. Skimmed. And he started by saying that the book is about a prince, a self proclaimed prince at that, but mostly just an entity born in the abyss. So im not sure if that entity is the same person as the prince or if theyre two different people ???? But for the sake of Thinking ill say theyre the same bc i dont see why they wouldnt be.

But he goes on to say that this book talks about this abyss entity, and how it became obsessed w spreading corruption in a world of mostly peace. And how it wants to learn about the inhabitants of this world (?) And then the book ends in chaos and tragedy, where the entire world falls to corruption. The entity destroys all living things ("this race of living creatures") and then consumes even more worlds by spreading its abyss corruption. And how its also almost. Parasitic.

So. This sounds a lot like the 110 entity.

"An entity threatens world stability / caged in the deepest layers of infinity [...] forboded calamity, the chosen is warned / the shape of all life shall take a new form / its choice to be made with no time to mourn"

Definitely sounds like this entity is the same, it threatens world stability by spreading its corruption, and this infinity could be the abyss. The shape of all life line draws my attention tho bc of how grizzly described the entity as destroying "this race of living creatures" and like a parasite.

Althoughhhhh i will have to relisten to. The just rolled for episode 93 because i think it was then that the 3 players made their guesses as to who the guarding giant, nameless prince and unborn kings are and grizzly said One was correct. I know they guessed arlin as the guarding giant and i think niklaus chip or rose's kid were other guesses perhaps ? Tho im not sure as to Where they fit each.

[HI HELLO i have now relistened to the rolled for 93. Condi guessed Arlin as the guarding giant, Chip as the nameless prince and Rose's Kid as the unborn kings. Only 1 of these is correct]

Ill also have to relisten to the stone age what if. Because even though that what if probably doesnt contain much thatd be important since. Its a what if. And it was back in the desire arc. The ending of it reminds me a bit of the nameless prince section where the entity destroys more worlds by spreading its corruption. Andddddd yea if that what if means anything at all then that could suggest niklaus as the entity or the nameless prince ?

Something else that gets me though is the legend lore scroll itself. We all know about the guarding giant nameless prince and unborn kings but. What i keep thinkin on is the beginning and end:

"A map that is a guide and a key / passed around the hands of destiny / it leads to chaos infinity / beneath the seas / the guardian giant / the nameless prince / the unborn kings / all wait to be inevitably free"

The very end with the "inevitably free" sounds like. One line of the 110 prophecy ("its release in time an inevitability" IT being the entity) and niklaus' greatest desire: freedom.

There is a consistent theme of freedom throughout riptide - or instead, a need/want for it. Gillion and jay both work towards freedom from the elders and navy respectively, islands (and casinos) early campaign all wanted freedom from various curses, pirates strive to create freedom from the navys rule, navys claim to strive to create a world free of "chaos".

However, across the nameless prince skim read, the legend lore scroll, and the 110 prophecy, there are manyyyy many parallels between them. Parallels, which i spent about 2 hours brainrotting about yesterday

It has been a couple days since i have made this biggg graphic and ive had a lotta time to dwell on this all and think. Because there are definitely many reasons why chip could be the nameless prince - and like a lotta other people i Know he has a bigger role in the world of mana than it seemed at first. However, i do feel like that role isnt the role of the nameless prince.

I mean, i probably have forgotten some evidence since i havent rewatched the ENTIRE campaign in a littleeee bit, just random episodes i think would have points of interest. But so far, we dont exactly know a whole lot about the nameless prince, only that whoever it is, is waiting to be free, could be whatever entity these poems and texts talk of, and has links to the hole in the sea. There were also a lot of details in the hole during episode two of the oneshot, which could be linked back to the prince. Lemme justtttt. Get the notes i took during my rewatch of it.

So, on the staircase where the three had their flashbacks, there were a few engravings in the wall. Some were words in abyssal primordial which read "what do you desire", others were depictions of humanoids with gems and coins, some were depictions of slavery + power. However, one stood out to finn since whilst the others repeated, this one was unique and singular. And it was the mountain with a crown above it.

This ofc could be passed off as mostly unimportant since it appeared so very early in the campaign, but we all know grizzlys dming and worldbuilding style isnt like that - everything thats been mentioned so far has been important in some way or another, and events from incredibly early episodes still affect the present day.

Although, unfortunately, i am Not Smart. And dont really know what this could Mean.

Weve seen a few mountains throughout the campaign, and none that instantly feel connected to that. Theres the mountain they all climbed in 111 of course, but that just housed those ice pirates, not anything much to do with a prince. It did also make me think of edison kingdom, since that has a monarchy and is a stacked city, howeverrrrr i doubt it would be that since. I dont see the relevance.

The crown is of course the only part here we can really connect to anything, that being the nameless prince. Since, they are a PRINCE afterall (although i do think these names are more metaphorical than literal). There ARE other places throughout the campaign crowns appear (once again, edison, and queen) though i doubt the edison kingdom would be so important to what feels like personal riptide pirate story, and queen didnt exist much as a character until they were introduced in episode like. 80smth. And their name is only queen bc charlie started the bohemian rhapsody bit.

SOOO yea basically. Summed up. Shits addin up. And also not addin up. I have lots of thoughts on this stuff, howeverrrr like ive said before im. Not very good at analysing. And also not the most articulate either. All in all, i think chip could possibly not be the nameless prince, and whoever the nameless prince IS could be whatever entity has been mentioned around a lot. The end. Goodbye. Thanks 4 readin. Love u.

#night thoughts #jrwi riptide #jrwi spoilers #riptide spoilers

[orristea]

Just started listening to vox machina and I was NOT prepared for how dark percy is??

#critical role #percy de rolo #percival de rolo #critical role percy #critical role fanart #Vox machina #critical role campaign 1 #cr #cr 1 #im listening to all 3 campaigns at the same time now and im not sure if thats the best plan lol #myart

[dojae-huh]

there's a lot of things going on in ncity today. a ssng posted a pic of taeil smoking and he's w/ hc so idk if hc's smoking too, said jisung smokes too and has a gf same as taeil mark and doyoung (some said doyoung was seen going out of a taxi with a woman but i dont see anything so im not sure) the funny thing is one op said jaehyun is married to a girl who works at kfc and they have 8 kids while another op said jaehyun had an affair with a gangnam unnie who drives an audi. and it's jungwoo's birthday i feel bad for him, but the tweet or the user is now deleted kfans/kantis tends to be crazy it's scary and funny at the same time

Agreee, there is a lot going on. Taeil's drama is doing well, so his OST got more listeners in a few days than his first pre-debut OST in all the years. Chenle and Jisung did a last episode in their series, and there will be no more for some time. Doyoung's OST is in 3 days. He was noticed shooting the drama on the streets. Fans eyeing Tae and Jae's photos from SM's studios and hope for a JaeYong duet. NCT is the second most selling group in January on Gaon despite not releasing new albums. Yuta will appear in a Japanese programme with other famous people. Etc.

Idol's life is stressful. Smoking helps with stress. It's not surprising so many smoke. Half of Korean adult men smoke.

There are many contributing factors for such increased prevalence, including the historically low cost of cigarettes (approximately US $2.20 per pack), the relatively scarce anti-smoking campaigns and legislations, and social factors that encourage smoking. In addition, the recent emergence of electronic nicotine delivery systems (ENDS, e-cigarettes), which have been extensively marketed, is an additional challenge.

#ask me away #food all around chips all around

[candygothjester]

AAAA idk if my other ask went in but I think it was for your oc Jax w 7 and 21 from that as game ?? But if my other one DID go in then dont worry abt this one if u dont wanna alsjdkhfg

IT DID IM JUST so slow at responding to asks omg kjsdhkjsfd

I shan’t complain though because I love rambling about my OCs to no end, though apologies if this lacks coherency it is like 3 AM right now? But thank you sm for the ask!

3. What does your oc’s voice sound like? (Or, if you have one, what’s their voiceclaim?) Can they sing, whistle, or roll their rs? Do they have any speech impediments or notable dialects/accents?

Honestly!! This is something that I’ve struggled for the longest time with! I keep trying to think of a voice for Jax and I’ve yet to settle on anything? I’ve figured his voice would be on the higher end, generally being heavily emotive unless he absolutely wants/needs to mute out his feelings... which, either way, is a good tell to get a grasp on his state of mind in that moment, same with the pitch of it that well follows suit. Jax definitely has an awful singing voice, but I’d imagine him being able to whistle, roll his r’s, and he is (canonically to my campaign!) able to do other accents very well. Otherwise, he has an extremely strong Elvish accent, though I’m not sure what accent in the real world it’d be reflective of (one of my friends suggested Australian, which I can see for better or worse,).

7. What song reminds you of this oc? Does this match up with the type of music your oc likes to listen to?

yes /j

Realistically? An absolute fuckton of songs, though I’d have to say Grand Finale (matches his general personality and what I want his character growth to be like!) by Studio Killers; Nightlife, Music People, Welcome Kingdom of Addiction, and Ghosts of Utopia (all discuss very corruptive influences on his life and thus how those then reflect on his own actions and ultimately drag him down, making him suffer more and more) by IAMX; The World Does Not Revolve Around You and Irresistible (this man’s awful ego) by Temposhark; and The Prince (his present self more-or-less being reflected upon by him when he’s older) by Madeon! I can’t say this without including songs about his pairings, so I particularly associate Achilles, Come Down (if there’s any song that I could dedicate to their dynamic as a whole, it would be this) by Gang of Youths with Jax and Dekida (where I find that the singer’s voice would match Kida’s, to reflect on the previous question), then world.search(you); (again, another close descriptor of Jax and Hazel’s dynamic, particularly while they both think the other is dead) by Mili with Jax and Hazel! None of these match his music taste, I’d imagine at most he might listen to a FEW songs from IAMX, but regularly I think he’d listen to rap..?

21. What’s a fact you haven’t shared about this oc?

THERE’S SO MUCH... this man has an incredible amount of lore and things to his personality, I couldn’t even begin to start with just one... but I think I’ll go with the most recent development of him since it’s fun? So, to give context, Jax’s forearms and hands are completely black, their surface looking a lot like charred wood with many, many lacerations thanks to corruption from The Tower (and to give even more context, this whole world has a singular set of very magical tarot cards called the Dwelling Cards that all come with their own unique properties, abilities, intuitions, and corruptions, generally being held by a person that matches their stereotypical traits within divination. Only one Card can be held at once by a person, unless that person holds The Fool like Jax), as upon killing his father who held it, Jax took the card and it completely corrupted his hands which now burn with absolute hell levels of pain. From this, his mother created gloves for him which numb the pain of the corruption, though it still hurts plenty and tends to spike at random moments regardless; their edges are magically sewn into his skin to ensure that they will never accidentally come off. Eight levels of context aside and completely disregarding that I’ve mentioned this nowhere before besides TH, the one thing that I really wanted to talk about was the solution since I really haven’t put that anywhere before! I was thinking that when this whole situation gets sorted out and dealt with, since my campaign has an odd focus on elemental creatures (the Bronze Dragon, Mary, & a stone/construct hawk goddess, Uvetta, are like. two major characters), I’d make his blood turn golden in response (I think Uvetta would partake in his healing..? This would take more context, but for basic knowledge she is something of a healer and is also the essential creator of the Dwelling Cards) to match, in a sense, his ego and status, reflective of how much he sees himself as something wonderful and how others do too, but also how he’s not only a “null” prince but an idol, regarded by, looked up to, and favoured by many to the point where he makes his own self conform to these visions much like a trophy. He’s a god in his own right to some extent, the golden blood only reflecting that. On its own, the properties of the blood can be healing at first in regards to a person’s mental state, though if enough of it consumed it quickly becomes addicting and intoxicating whilst not once quenching thirst, only drawing people in to drink more and more. It is cool, kind of like water that’s been sitting out for a while in a colder location, and it solidifies into a metal outside of Jax’s body after some time passes. Since I think it’s cute, his own blush becomes very much golden, though I think at the same time his tears would turn black for... no true reason really, it just sounds kind of fun and ultimately reflects his contrast from the self he presents to others to who he actually is. Bodily fluids aside, I feel as though his hands and forearms would be permanently covered in tinted skin, like thick lines of blue kind of like bandages running over them.

#aro-zagreus #jax caeglas #jax #dwelling cards #my ocs #dc #dc spoilers #i think i do need to tag this as that #i do not think any of my campaign members have this blocked though. that is ok #here are random spoilers :) #long post

[im-just-trying-to-survive-man]

ok so i feel like telling the world my bias list (kpop) for no reason and i was a little scared to but oh well lol

im gonna do this in parts. this list is my bias’ in boygroups pt.1

soo yeah if you wanna see some beautiful asian men you can keep reading lol

kinda turned out long oop

imma do nct on another post bc thats fucking loonngggg

1. kim hongjoong; stage name: hongjoong (leader of ateez, rapper, lyricist, producer and composer (i forget if those are the same thing) )

king of the lesbians

personally i think hes SOME type of gay but, y’know, you do you baby (’good lil boy’ is the song he wrote on their new album akjsdl)

prince of mullets in kpop (king is minghao from seventeen)

so?? pretty???

he paints his nails for the polished man campaign!!! (this was before the group became ambassadors.) v socially aware as well

his voice is very high for a rapper but i rly love it

wanna hear what he thinks of atinys?? (the fandom) listen to ‘aurora’

korean big minion 

very very good at english, despite what he says

is so caring for his ‘children’ ugh such an amazing leader

also a little brat sometimes but we dont talk about it

a MAN

fuck gender roles

5′7 skirt guy you’ve probably heard of in the kpop tiktok community

the official campaign pic:

2. han jisung; stage name: han (main rapper of stray kids, lead vocalist, producer and composer, lyricist, ult bias uwu)

heres the tea

this man literally saved my life

he has been through so much and i relate to that. seeing that he made it through the worst gave me hope.

his music and lyrics just speak to me (wanna see me cry? send me the song ‘19′, its written by him)

on to the happier things

his s q u i r r e l   c h e e k s

hes honestly so pleasing to look at ugh

vocals????? fricking great???? listen to ‘hellevator’ and ‘district 9′ for his vocals

jEoGiYa NoOnA HoKsI nAmJaChInGu IsSeOyO (’wow’ 3RACHA)

part of 3RACHA, a rap group between him and two other members

his american name is peter and he loves nat geo wild and cheesecakes and honestly if thats not amazing idk what is

lived in malaysia??? for 6 years???? lovin the melanin y’all

THE FUNNIIEST MAN ALIVE Y’ALL WAIT PLEASE WATCH THIS VIDEO IDK WHY BUT ITS SO FUNNY TO ME

3. im changkyun; stage name: I.M. (lead rapper of monsta x, sub-vocalist, maknae (the youngest), producer and composer)

fam im WHIPPED for this man like honestly i dont like subbing or sex in general lol ace things but i’d let him r a i l me

lived in america for 3 years and israel for 4; speaks fluent english and its SEXY

rapping skills??? on point???? both in english and korean ugh

LOOK AT HIM HIS DIMPLES AND HIS FACE AND UGH

is one of those people that does n o t like to be touched but then he’ll kiss your cheek out of nowhere

babie

VERY SOCIALLY AWARE LIKE HE SAID FUCK TOXIC MASCULINITY AND MISOGYNY 

confident in his own skin and super open about it

“For IM, ‘Wearing a harness is just to express our song concept. Showing the audience what we want to show is the most important thing. We’re not ashamed. We’ve done a lot of sexual items, like harnesses and chains. We’re comfortable.’ “ 

“But, for argument’s sake, where does your own sense of masculinity come from? IM pauses for a long moment. ‘Having a dick,’ he says bluntly, sipping coffee as his bandmates’ jaws drop and shocked laughter ripples around the table.”

that interview is here 

kinky lil bitch

i can go on and on about this man but im just gonna stop there

i lied he has tattoos (one on his wrist [ :): ] and the one on the nape of his neck, it reads “the one who wants to wear the crown must bear the crown”)

i like this picture bc its his hands and theyre pretty and fuck gender roles from a kpop idol

thats enough of him 

4. kim wonpil; stage name: wonpil (pianist, synthesizer, and keyboardist in day6, lyricist, vocalist, also a a dj and mc for a podcast)

Y’ALL LOOK AT HIM UGH

was the maknae but then dowoon came along and now hes not lol

Unbothered™

honestly like hes such a good pianist and is really great on the keys

is really good at making song lyrics out of thin air

like, he can hear the sentence “i really want chicken rn but i can’t have it im on a diet” and he’ll get “i crave your taste, but there is a wall i built myself blocking you from my love” like literally

im pretty sure he wrote the chorus for their song ‘zombie’

honestly bruh his vocals are so good

like pls go listen to ‘emergency’ and ‘congratulations’ (theres an english version for that song alsjdk)

guys hes just a big babie honestly

so pretty to look at omg

HES SO FUNNY AND HE DOESNT EVEN KNOW IT 

“i dont really care what my spouse looks like or what gender they are, as long as we’re happy and they love me” (wish i could find that photoset)

5. kim namjoon: stage name: RM (leader of bts, main rapper, sub-vocalist, lyricist, producer and composer)

literally the reason im into kpop, so thank you namjoon

a 5′11 babie, tbh

i remember finding out he had his own like, mixtape (’mono.’) and iT WAS SO GOOD AND IT STILL IS KAJHDJ

an amazing rapper and leader

can sing and i do not CARE what anyone says

so as you can see by now i kinda of have a type (except wonpil, idk wtf is going on there with me biasing him laksjk #no regrets)

anyway yeah he was the first kpop boy i found, and it was on his birthday

so every year on september 11th 11:50 p.m., i start i planting a tree in my backyard (bc then its on his birthday in america and korea lakajs so quirky i know) also bc its the day i started listening to kpop so its an anniversary for me lol. 

mOoNcHiLd

very very psychological

also very inspiring and loving (to the fans)

doesn’t really show affection, hes better with words than actions, and i really relate to that

dimples aGAIN

and last but not least for this list bc its already so frickin long

6. byun baekhyun; stage name: baekhyun (main dancer of exo, main singer, sub rapper, pianist, actor)

he’s so talented???? and amazing???? and overall just kinda perfect??????

AMAZING FUCKING VOCALS LIKE Y’ALL GO GO GO GO GOGOOG OG LISTEN TO HIS GROUPS SONG ‘ONE (MONSTER AND INFINITY)′ BECAUSE THAT SHIT SLAPS UGH

AND LIKE GROWL??? BRO????? MY VOCAL CORDS SNAPPED

dated another idol in the past but personally i think he’s a little *hand goes limp* if you know what i mean

my sister (4) calls him bacon he said it in an interview one time and it stuck to her

chesticles

MONSTER ERA UGH GOT ME DEAADDDD

is a solo artist too!!!!!!! go listen to his albums!!!! theyre really good!!!!

hes so frickin funny omg like i can laugh at with him all day

understands english but refuses to speak it

honestly kokobop baek was amazing idc what anyone says

is in like 3 different groups damn (like two of them are sub-units of his group and the other one is superm lol)

pls go watch the ‘men on a mission’ episodes with exo bc hes so fucking hilarious i will never get over it

a clown ass bitch that is always ready to square tf up a caring and v nice person that wont fight anyone ever

AN AMAZING ACTOR OMMGGGG BABIE GOT SKILLS

can also tapdance

lots of video games

very very very very very loud when playing video games

another man i endlessly love

well. if you made it this far, congrats!!! and thanks!!! i honestly dont care if no one sees this lol i just kinda wanted to do it, so, yeah lol. theres still more groups (superm, nct (seperate post), seventeen, vixx, pentagon, the rose, annnd oneus)then like idk if i’ll do a soloist one, so yeah. this kinda gives me something to do its one big infodump and im sorry lmao. yeah, love y’all !!!

#kpop #lovely talks #info dump #rant #long post #LMFAO THERES MY DAY FOR Y'ALL

[whateverittakestoavenge]

The Deserter (Part 3)

Pairing: Avengers X Stark!Reader

Part One Part Two

Tony Stark had spent the past month looking for his daughter. He had the whole team running facial recognition around the world, looking for her. Every time they thought they had a lead, Tony and Pepper would hop on a plane to bring her home. So far they had been to  Minnesota, Alaska, and Sweden.

Every time they came back heartbroken because it wasn’t her. Just someone who looked eerily similar.

Tony had considered making a big press campaign to find his daughter, Steve and Pepper had to talk them out of it. “Listen, Tony, she went into hiding for a reason, let’s try to find her on our own,” stressed the Captain.

His Fiancee had tried to soothe him but, it was of no use. The man was in absolute agony over his missing child.

“Pepper it’s been three years, she twenty now. My little girl’s all grown up. And I have no fucking idea where she is.” All the billionaire could do was cradle his head in his hands and take deep breaths. His daughter was out there somewhere, he just had to find her.

----

Natasha spent three years thinking both Stark and his daughter were dead. And if she learned anything about Starks in the past two months, unless there is a body, don’t believe them to be dead.

She enjoyed looking for people. It took her mind off of the Thanos situation. She found Clint two years ago, staying in Japan under a pseudonym, and convinced him to come home. She was positive she could do the same thing for Y/n Stark.

Natasha had been conducting her own investigation into Y/n’s whereabouts. Tony had come back heartbroken every time, so she decided to find his daughter for him. She had used her various connections to try to find a lead. Natasha had been skimming through a crowd photo in Venezuela, that an ex-shield agent had sent her when she received a text message with coordinates from an unknown number.

35.6870° N, 105.9378° W, Y/N Stark’s Location

Natasha saved the coordinates and borrowed a helicopter. She was going to bring Stark’s daughter home. She didn’t tell Tony where she was going, as far as everyone was concerned, she was clearing her head. ---- Y/N hadn't stuck in one place for very long the past three years. She changed locations sporadically, leaving whenever people started to ask questions about her past.

She changed her hair color every new place she went to. She had an assortment of colored contacts to further alter her appearance. She didn’t need people to make connections. The only thing that she couldn’t change was the dark circles under eyes. They had become her signature trademark.

She was returning back to her small apartment in Santa Fe, after leaving to gather up supplies to move to a new location. The first thing she noticed upon entering her apartment was that her door was slightly ajar. She always locked her door when she left.

“Looters”, she thought to herself. The world was now full of them. She had come into contact with several over the years so, she tapped her father’s watch ready to scare them off.

When she was first on her own, the familiar whir of her dad’s technology made her reminisce on the past. She didn’t think about the past at all anymore. She didn’t think about the future. She didn’t think about anything except surviving. And now she was thinking about the thief in her home.

Y/n came around the corner with the iron gauntlet blaring, ready to scorch the thief. She was a little shocked to see who was sitting on the kitchen counter.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

“Nat! What the hell, h-how did you find me?”

“Y/N,” - she said as she scooted off the kitchen counter to embrace the girl, ”you have to come home.”

“I can’t.”

“And why not?”

“I just can’t, okay.” Y/N glanced around the room and took a deep breath. “I miss everyone, Nat. Really I do. I just can’t go back. I just can’t face everyone after what I did.”

“Y/n, we are gonna reverse this, trust me.” Natasha was only trying to soothe the young woman. She hadn’t seen the girl in four years and she was no longer a wide-eyed teenager, she was an adult who had to grow up too quickly.

“I know you guys are gonna try to fight Thanos again and what if you guys just make it worst. Nat, I saw so many people disappear outside my bedroom window and I-I-I can’t watch anyone else die. I don’t want to lose anyone else”

“Y/N, have you been on your own all these years?”

“I can’t get close to people anymore, Nat. Not after what happened”

“There is something you should know-”

“I mean, I don’t even think Pepper could look at me. I made her think I was dead. And if my dad knew that I abandoned Pepper, he would just be so disappointed” Natasha could see that Y/n was spiraling.

“Y/N,” Natasha demanded the young woman's attention, “he’s not dead.”

“What the fuck did you just say?” ----

Y/N had never been so still. The entire ride back to the compound she didn’t say a word. Natasha, never one for small talk, only giving her worried glances.

Y/N knew she was in the wrong. She was so upset over the people that she lost, she ran from the people she still had. Sure, she missed them and thought about going back every day, but they’ve would’ve called her a coward for running away. She couldn’t return, because she abandoned them, because they were brave and she was scared.

“Does he know you found me? Did he send you?” Y/N asked as Natasha descended onto the Helipad.

“He’s been looking for you, but I wanted you to tell him you were back. He needs to see it in person,” replied the spy.

Y/N was shaking as she exited the helicopter. She was terrified to see everyone, especially Happy, Pepper, and Rhodey. They mourned for someone was never dead. She would apologize to them later but there was sh=omeone she had to see first.

--- He was sitting in his lab staring at the wall. Friday interrupted his thoughts by saying, “Sir, you have a visitor.”

When Tony Stark turned around, a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

“Hey, dad,” said a voice he wasn’t sure he’d ever hear again.

When he saw his daughter he wanted to burst into tears. She was no longer the happy teen he last saw 6 months, no, three years ago. She was a young woman who had been through too much. He had noticed she had inherited the under eye circles from him. “She didn’t have those last time I saw her,” thought the man.

The Starks both ran to each other, meeting in the middle to embrace. Two people who had always hidden their emotions from others broke down together.  Once the tears had dried, the pair caught each other up on their time apart.

Tony was heartbroken after learning his daughter had migrated around the country by herself for three years. His daughter was equally mortified over learning her father was starving in a space a little more than a month ago. Although it was not said, all they could think was the time they had lost together.

“You should’ve gotten a chance at life. Not had to spend three years by yourself. I’m gonna fix this,” Tony assured his daughter.

“Dad, don’t.” Tony was not expecting to hear that reply from his daughter.

Y/N was about to finally voice her fears to her father. Whenever asked, Y/N would always say something like heights or spiders was her greatest fear. But in reality, her biggest fear was losing the one constant in her life. Her father. 

 “I watched you fly a nuke into a wormhole and ride a flying donut into space. Sit this one out. I can’t watch you put yourself in harm’s way again.”

What Tony never understood, was that he was her hero long before he was Iron Man. So, Y/N begged him to let it be.

“Dad, I love you, please don’t do this,” pleaded the young woman.

“Y/n I don’t have a choice. Peter died in my arms, everyone I was on that planet with died. And I come to find out three years have passed, and no one is able to move on.  We have to do something. I don't have a choice.”

“You always have a choice Dad,” she replied with a bit of anger dripping from her words. She didn’t want to be mad at him for trying to save the universe, again. But she was selfish. She didn’t want to have to hand him over again.

"When you can do the things that we can, but you don't, and then the bad things happen, they happen because of us,’ Tony’s choice of words gave the younger Stark a sense of responsibility that she hadn’t felt before.

“Ok…. Fine. But, I’m helping out too. I’ve been watching you guys from the sidelines for years now. It’s about time I get in on the action too.”

Hell Hath no Fury like Two Pissed Off Starks.

---

A/N so I’m probably gonna wait to finish this after Endgame comes out. Let me know how you guys feel the story is coming along!

@just4muggles @krystallynx @lilulo-12 @otterlockholmes @marvelandwweprincess @kwyloz @senpai-millionth-wig @bothersome-anon-pt2 @starabellaa @hey-mayonegg @definitleygay-com @hxppycrowns @deanholmes @justairaguys @wave-my-banner @bubbles-62 @musicsaved98 @bentacles-bestboi @rerox1987 @imissmymemes @kayleigh-jane123 @giuls-394 @marcelinebutts @flamingheadband1234 @ariel2812 @movinoutxx @cxrlyrxe @intheendyouwillalwayskneel @idk-im-perfect @bluestofsteel @just-some-stars @star-arm-and-shield @-thatgirloverthere @dttdanvers

#avengers x reader #avengers endgame #avengers fic #peter parker x reader #tony stark #avengers #avengers imagine #avengers infinity war #clint barton #natasha romanoff #bruce banner #hulk #iron dad #iron man #peter parker #marvel #stark!daughter #tony stark x reader #peter parker x stark!reader

[aalt-ctrl-del]

so you want to vote third-party?

Im gonna go ahead and put it out there, and put it into file, for future reference. My predictions based on behavioral studies, herd theory, psychographics, mass Values, and environmental, geographic conditions, have been thus far exceptionally accurate. The science and mathematical estimations behind the pandemic is super basic, not hard at all, which is most frustrating of all.

If you get to vote come Election day - given that you are all still alive by that point with no medical complications - and you choose to vote Republican. Or worse, third party, if you do not vote Democratic.

There is a high probability that you or those of your close relations will contract Corona Virus.

This is not scare tactic or alarmist, this is a loose estimation based on our current political climate and rising trends. I made a post predicting June to be a hard hitting month, that comes from our behavior in May - specifically, the dates 13-17 range. I checked the calendar, those dates are high weekends for a lot of people. It is also Graduations for seniors of high school and college. Classes end for more, finals come to a close.

So, those days were not random. This is a very important time for people. It is also the most lethal. Thus, given the incubation time of the virus, or its capacity for dormancy, we will see results of this May 13-17 spike within 2 weeks, and in June. If, y’know, you disregard stuff that the CDC is cautioning us to do.

Back to voting. By the time elections roll around, and you decide who to vote for, let me reiterate, if you vote anything other than Democratic, you have taken a mediocre percentage I have calculate - lets say 30% possible encounter with the virus. And you do the thing like, vote third party - there is a Risk Factor which bumps your probable encounter with the virus up to 43%. By then, we should have shot past 100,000 deaths. It is estimated that yearly, at least a minimum of 12,000 people will die of the flu, and in the year 2017-2018, source at least 61,000 people died in that year. We have only been exposed to Corona Virus for 3 months, and already have watched a documented 70,000+ die. With quarantine measures in place and state-wide shut downs.

So what is the difference between the Republican and Democratic parties, which factor into my Risk Equation? Simply put, the Republican as of current is inadequate and a joke. They are actively expediting the spread of the Corona Virus. I mean, we have protesters outraged by Quarantine. Science deniers, anti-vaxxers. Sure, there is a high ratio of recovery compared to those who have died, but even the people who have suffered mild symptoms are developing post complications such as organ failure, scarring of the lung tissue, and my favorite, liver failure.

You can’t live without your liver. Its an essential organ. You have only one liver. Its not on the the same turf as the appendix. Your liver blows up, you die a pleasantly painful death source. I really didn’t read this article, I only know that we’re finding these things, like strokes, haunting people in the age bracket 30-40. I mean, you survive Corona Virus like a champ? Awesome. I hope that doesn’t dump a whole aneurysm on you.

Okay, back to voting once more. The Democrat party, is not much more better prepared than the Republican at this point. But, the Democrats and Joe Biden will listen to the scientists and doctors, like Dr. Fauci, and Dr. Birx. They will look into the process of stimulating the economy, while minimizing the trauma and destruction the inadequate and soft trump group is going through. Our chances of getting through this lay with the Democratic group, especially in the fall out from this pandemic. The economic strain businesses are so frightened by, will shatter with trump doing his usual thing of ignoring problems until the problem is way out of control. Which Corona Virus is right now. No exaggeration, its hit full momentum; you’re only options right now are rigorous sanitation practices.

Everybody protesting quarantine would’ve been the type to launch them self out a window when the Stock Market crashed. That’s the sort of people they are. If you want to get through this, you’re going to have to survive first. We can always pick up the pieces and rebuild from the wreckage, but if there’s no one to rebuild, then the tragedy remains a mystery.

And if you’re one of those Russian a-holes “But the sexual harassment allegations”. Omg, you absolute blunt tool. trump is a walking PSA of pedo-incest-creepy-uncle. “Grab her by the pussy,” - trump. “I can go in there and start kissing them, and no one can do anything” bragging trump, about walking into a dressing room for one of those American models programs - idek. trump is a misogynistic creepy bastard, that objectifies his daughter. You reason that thing is gonna be your salvation in these trying times?

And I do vibe with the #metoo movement. I don’t dismiss or discredit Tara Reade, about these sexual allegations, but I question a lot of what she’s doing and saying. For context, we’re in the middle of a pandemic, and Joe Biden has the clout and experience to wipe the floor with trump. And the Democratic party will be the only faction to get us through this crisis with minimal casualties. The infection is beyond controlling at this point, but we will be ruined financially and physically, our economic infrastructure is edging toward a collapse the likes we haven’t seen in 50 years. But this Tara lady, makes allegations at this point in time of this specific year, when it would’ve have been more pertinent to do so at the time Biden was elected Vice-President. EVEN BETTER, DURING THE #METOO movement. 

If those allegations are true and do exist, then she has been paid by someone named trump - or an affiliate to trumps clan - to speak up. Right now. “BECAUSE OF THE EMAILS” I mean, allegations. I’m not saying Democrats are saints, but the parties interests and motives align far better with your chances of survival, and this Tara lady is trying to convince you to tie a noose for you to hang from. I mean, she could have as easily come forward after Biden was elected, or when his election campaign had more steam - that would have been appropriate. But she chose now, because of the pandemic, because people are dying so fast. At an alarming exponential rate. Tara isn’t doing this to be nobEL or help people, she’s been paid, she’s on someone’s salary. You’re gonna die, because you didn’t think this through. Because you think trump, in all his infinite wisdom, and poor business choices, cares about you? He doesn’t. He’s petty, spiteful, he took the landing gear from the plane and he’s trying to sell it back to the highest bidder, which isn’t you.

Right at this time trump is digging graves, and he’s nailing the coffin lid down. Each and every one of us is a statistic in this mess - you are either uncontaminated, infected-asymptomatic, recovered, or dead. And when you recover, there is strong evidence to show that the virus can still infect you once more. trump doesn’t care. He’s tossing out the pandemic team, we’re gonna get a whole new set of people in to lead us through this; unqualified people. Beautiful people, the sort of people trump likes to surround himself with. Yes people. Group think. People dumber than a blender with a massage feature.

so in conclusion, if you think voting third party is a good idea. 43% higher chance of encountering that virus. The infected and carriers is spreading, corporate businesses and franchises are forcing their GMs not to report those that have been infected, and they sure as hell are not closing their doors to decontaminate. No contact tracing, we have no test kits. No idea the actual statistics. And best of all, no idea if you have truly recovered, if you survive an infection with Corona Virus.

Did I mention the 43% will exponentially increase as we come near the election date? Yeah, it has a variable ( .43y ), it will fluctuate. Unfortunately, it does not and cannot go down. It only goes up. And 100% chance of an encounter with Corona Virsu, is not the highest number. Because you can get the virus twice, and it can stack with the flu or pneumonia.

August will be interesting :)

#covid19 #covid 19 #coronavirus #corona virus #flawed data #statistics #behavioral patterns #june #may #its gonna be may #13-17 #graduation #voting #2020 #pandemic #quarantine #Joe Biden #trump #donald joke trump #yeah this is scary and alarming but its not going away

[thewritewolf]

Nino’s Quest Chapter 6: Out of the Woods

The true struggle of DnD - getting the party together for a session. Not at all helped by magic terrorism attacks.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 (Final)

Enjoy!

Read on Ao3.  My ko-fi.

--- October 15th ---

Lord DM: Hey dudes, we still on for today? Since its been like two hours I’ll guess that was a no then

Adrien Regreste: sorry dude. Got roped into a last minute photoshoot :(

Marinoodles: same Wait no I mean- last minute bakery stuff Sorry to bail like this! D:

Alya’ll Beware: Don’t worry about it girl I was chasing that akuma that was running around It kept giving lb n cn the slip Got some good footage tho

Lord DM: Bummer dudes Guess thats one of the perks of living in paris We can try again next week, k?

--- October 18 ---

Direct Message From Alya

Alya: These akumas have been crazy, babe. Rain check on dates? At least until hawkbutt tires himself out

Nino: :( Can’t you take a break or two? You don’t have to be on the frontlines of EVERY akuma attack

Alya: …

Nino: [crying emojis, broken hearts, butterflies with red X’s over them]

Alya: alright, alright But just two, okay? People count on me for the latest news

Nino: totally, babe Just hope lb+cn won’t need rr+cara Cuz… you know That’d be rough

Alya: [eye rolling emoji] Yeah yeah I feel bad for them tho Their social life must be wack at this point

---October 22nd---

Lord DM: Hey, bro, we still meeting at your place or what? ??? Come on, dude! Not again! :(

Adrien Regreste: Sorry dude [sobbing emoji]

Alya’ll Beware: Akuma, babe. Can’t miss three in one week!

Lord DM: Yeah… guess so. Let’s just not miss the next sess, okay? I dont want this campaign to end

Alya’ll Beware: We’ve only missed two weeks so far. That’s not too bad We got pretty lucky with getting five in a row Esp considering how busy we usually are

Lord DM: Fair enough Next week sound good?

Alya’ll Beware: Should for me

---October 31st---

Lord DM: Im scared to ask but… DnD today?

Adrien Regreste: [thumbs up] I’ll be going on 4 hours of sleep But I can do it!

Marinoodles: Same here Lack of sleep and all

Alya’ll Beware: Yeah We good

Adrien Regreste: !!! Wait its actually happening Awesome! ...I should probably clean my room.

Marinoodles: XD Probably! :P

Adrien Regreste: :3

------------

An hour later and Nino had made the trip over to Adrien’s house, Alya and Marinette in tow. Their chatting had been less energetic than usual, no doubt because there wasn’t a single person among them who didn’t feel exhausted. A fact that wasn’t at all helped by the late hours that they were arriving at. It may have only been nineteen hundred hours, but when you’d only had a few hours of sleep each night for the past week, it made all the difference in the world.

Despite all that, they were determined. The very thought that they were willing to go through all this just to go further in his campaign was thrilling for Nino, and he didn’t want to let them down.

A wicked grin, looking out of place on him, stretched across his face. With the events he had planned for tonight’s session, he was sure they’d be awake in no time.

They entered Adrien’s room and saw the bounty of sugary treats and caffeine that their host had prepared. After some brief chit-chat, Nino got set up quickly and rolled right into the session. The longer he delayed the more likely it was that his players would fall asleep.

“The forest at last thins as you crest the top of a hill. From your vantage point, you can see the capital city on the horizon.” There were sighs of relief around the room.

“Finally! My character could definitely go for a proper bed after a week of roughing it,” Marinette said after taking a drink of pop.

“You’ll have to hurry, then. The sun is going to start sinking below the horizon. Unless you want to be stuck outside the city until morning, you’d better get moving.”

“My bard starts one last travel song as we rush over.” Adrien opened his phone, no doubt to a lyrics site and cleared his throat.

Alya quickly covered his mouth. “I do not have the time or patience to listen to another of your renditions of Take Me Home, Country Roads, Sunshine. Let’s just get to the city, alright?” Adrien’s eyes darted to Nino in a silent plea, but he simply shrugged.

“Sorry, dude. Babe has a point.”

Pouting, he closed his phone. Beside him, Marinette giggled and patted his back consolingly.

“You reach the city gates without any issue - no bandit or monster is stupid enough to get within stones throw of the capital, not with all the guards on patrol. They were a little suspicious to see you guys so late at night, but… two noble sigils, a bardic license, and my holy symbol put those dudes right at ease. There are still a few rooms open at the inn - how are you guys going to divvy up?”

A trio of blank stares looked back at him. He sighed.

“Each room costs money to rent. You don’t have a lot, so while you could get a private room for each of you, it’s probably better to room with someone else. So who is spending the night with who?”

“Dibs on the cleric!” Alya cried. She tapped her chin theatrically, “I guess that leaves you two together, right?”

“I- I guess so?” Adrien blinked, surprised at Alya’s sudden outburst. Marinette paled a little but nodded.

“Since you guys arrived so late, most of the rooms were already filled up and you had to make do with what you can get. When you finally find your rooms, they are across the inn from each other… and there is only one bed in each room.”

A slight blush, but neither Adrien nor Marinette were freaked out. Alya slumped in defeat - there wasn’t any roleplaying involved in sleeping after all. Unless they decided to do some method acting and have a sleepover.

“The four of us drift off to sleep, which was a totally great change of pace from the creepy woods that you’ve been sleeping in for a week now.” Nino punctuated his words with a yawn that proved contagious. “It was way late at night when suddenly… M, Adrien. Roll for perception.”

Adrien, naturally, rolled a one. Just when Nino was scared he’d accidentally killed them off, Marinette pulled through with a high roll. He breathed a sigh of relief.

“With your keen elven hearing, the creaking of the wooden floor boards was enough to jolt you from sleep. There is a glint of metal above you, and you feel a presence in the darkness. You have just a few seconds to react - what do you do?”

“I roll over!” Marinette blurts out, her eyes wide.

Nino nods. “Right, that puts you right on top of Adrien, who is now totally awake too. It was a good move, though - a knife plunges into the mattress, right where your neck had just been.”

All business now, Marinette asks, “What can I see?”

“Not much. Loose cloaks with hoods pulled up. Knives. Two people. The other person has stumbled back, probs spooked by your sudden movement.”

She taps her chin before her eyes widen again. “Wait, what about the others?! We have to go get them! Or at least get their help.” She shuffles through her character sheet. “Okay, um… I whisper to Adrien in Elvish ‘close your eyes’ and then I toss a flash flare thing at the guy.”

Nino rolls some saves - without the warnings, neither of them stood a chance. He looks up to see Marinette watching him with hopeful eyes. “You got ‘em, M. Now what?”

“I roll off the bed and try to take the guy’s knife.”

“You’ve got it and your turn ends there. The dudes are blinded, but it won’t be long before they’ve recovered. Adrien?”

“Can I cast a spell?”

“Not without your lyre, bro.”

“Fine, fine. I grab it off the bedside table.”

“And why do you think it’d be there?”

“...I’m a bard. Gotta be ready to play, first thing in the morning.” Adrien smirked.

Chuckling, Nino replied. “Alright, fair. What do you cast?”

Adrien stuck out a tongue as he thumbed through his spell list. His eyes lit up as he looked at Nino. “I cast summon monster one, and I summon the Good Boy.”

“Right,” Nino said as the others giggled. “So you’ve got your celestial dog next to you. I figure you want it to attack one of the dudes?”

To his surprise, Adrien shook his head. “No, I command him to go wake up the other two. Probably to go sit by their door and bark in a commanding angelic voice.”

The fight didn’t last long from there - the two of them probably would have been enough to deal with the assassins after they lost the element of surprise. But four against two made it a landslide victory.

“Even though you try your hardest, you weren’t able to catch either alive. One got stabbed and bled out and the other, well… hopefully the innkeeper will understand that it wasn’t your fault that the window got broken.”

“Do they have anything on them?” Alya crossed her arms. “I get the feeling someone is after us.”

“You’re immediately proven right when you find a note in the dead guy’s pocket that reads, ‘Information about the Necromancer cannot reach the king. Dispose of the adventurers before they get their audience.’”

The party exchanged looks.

“Spooky,” Adrien said flatly. The others nodded in agreement.

“Do I recognize the handwriting or anything?” Marinette leaned forward, the gears in her head turning. “Remember, I am a court brat.”

“Nope. Looks like it was written deliberately poorly. You don’t know if you’d recognize it normally.”

“Time for the king?” Adrien perked up.

“Yup, it’s time for-” Nino was interrupted by a sharp knock at the door.

Adrien gulped. “Um… hello?”

Nathalie stepped into the room and narrowed her eyes at the dice and character sheets. Belatedly Nino remembered that Adrien usually claimed they were working on a project or homework during these sessions. “It is late. Your friends need to leave.”

Without a choice in the matter, they packed up and had the door shut behind them.

-------------

Nino’s fears were confirmed later that night during a discord chat.

Adrien Regreste: Sorry guys. Looks like we won’t be able to play at my house again Not for a while at least. :(

Lord DM: Don’t worry about it bro Had to happen eventually

Marinoodles: I’m so sorry! :( I hope you didn’t get in trouble because of us

Adrien Regreste: Nothing more than usual They aren’t threatening to keep me locked up at home So, you know Better than usual

Alya’ll Beware: That’s something at least R they going to let u hang out again?

Adrien Regreste: *shrugs* Probably. Anyway… Sorry to be a bummer. Night, everybody!

Marinoodles: Sweet dreams!

Alya’ll Beware: Night, kiddos.

Lord DM: Don’t let the assassins bite! ;) [Three thumbs down, one angry emoji]

#Miraculous Ladybug #Nino Lahiffe #Alya Cesaire #DJ Wifi #Adrien Agreste #Marinette Dupain-Cheng #Adrienette #Dungeons and Dragons #DnD #D&D #ml fanfiction #my writing #Nino's Quest

[kvndeathmusic]

my favorite records of the 2010s pt 1 (the less great stuff/honorable mentions)

Neither this post or its followup are going to be in any particular order, however all the records I talk about here are, in my opinion, not as good as the records i will talk about in my part 2. they’re all fantastic but these ones slightly a little less fantastic than the ones in my “top 10″. none of this is based on stuff like 'influence' or whatever other critics base their lists on, this is solely how much I enjoyed these records. And keep in mind, I'm only human, I havent listened to a good lot of records I've heard others describe as top 10 worthy, these are just records I found and that I resonate with. long post ahead. 

Vacation - Bomb the Music Industry (2011)

If you asked me what my favorite band is i will either say bomb the music industry or jeff rosenstock, but considering those are pretty much the same things it doesnt matter lol. While Vacation isnt a perfect record, it is one I love. It lacks some of the ska elements that I love about earlier BTMI records, but at the same time, it is the first record where Jeff’s “””solo””” career sound starts to form in tracks like Sick, Later, Hurricane Waves, Everybody That You Love, Everybody That Loves You, and Vocal Coach. And these tracks are all fantastic, especially the absolutely explosive opener Campaign For a Better Weekend. Where this album suffers in my mind is the fact that it exists as a weird hybrid middle ground between BTMI and modern Jeff Rosenstock, it isn’t really ska like old BTMI and it’s not quite to the same standard as the tracks on We Cool?. And some of the songs are just, not as good as the others, like Why, Oh Why, Oh Why (Oh Oh Oh Oh), which is washed out almost entirely in reverb, and tracks like Savers feeling barren and missing additional instrumentation. But fuck man I can not dislike this record or just call it “ok” because despite this I still listen to this record a lot, it’s so catchy and fun and Im a bit too chronically addicted to btmi. 

Reflektor - Arcade Fire (2013)

i dont really get the hate/mixed feelings others have with this record. there’s so many good tracks dude!!!! sure theres a bit of a slump in the middle and it doesnt reach the same emotional heights as their previous records you gotta be ignorant to overlook this records strengths. while i do like The Suburbs more than Reflektor, man i just vibe HARD with some of these tracks; the title track, We Exist, Here Comes The Night Time, Normal Person, Awful Sound (Oh Eurydice), Porno, and ESPECIALLY Afterlife. Plus the cover art is cool and I like it. However Flashbulb Eyes is one of the worst tracks Arcade Fire has ever put out and I hate it immensely. And while far less offensive, tracks like You Already Know, It’s Never Over (Hey Orpheus), and Joan of Arc are just kinda boring and/or uninteresting. Now granted, I'm extremely biased when it comes to Arcade fire in general unless were talking about the trainwreck that is Everything Now. I started listening to Arcade Fire just before Reflektor came out, and I have a kinda sentimental attachment to the record. ill explain the feeling more when i talk about The Suburbs. anticipation oooooo.

good kid m.A.A.d city - Kendrick Lamar (2012)

i might get crucified by some for not putting this in my top 10, but whatever come at me i guess. gkmc is a fantastic record, but i do think the ending is weak, which is why it’s here instead of in the top 10. i mean, let’s be real, Real is a mediocre track, and while Dying of Thirst is an important track to the whole narrative of the record, it feels way too long. almost everything else about this record is fantastic, from the beats, to kendrick’s nasally flows, to the overall structure of the record spinning a tale of a young man battling demons both inside and out, and his eventual redemption. even if i find this record at times to drop pace, it really is flawless otherwise. it felt like a disservice to put this in the 20-10s, bc it’s a good record, but i had to make some compromises and this was one of them. 

RTJ2 - Run The Jewels (2014)

el-p and killer mike are a perfect duo, and the tracks they make together are always total bangers. and for me, RTJ2 is the best overall, with RTJ3 in a close second. it’s hard to put this on the lower half of the list, some of the tracks just don’t work as well as the others, but despite that there’s not really any tracks i hate or dislike on this record, minus maybe crown. the pure aggression in the opening track Jeopardy sets the tone for an aggressive yet highly focused record. This is some of the best rap out there right now if you want some music to fuck shit up to. 

Pure Comedy - Father John Misty (2017)

This record is both hilarious and extremely bleak. Josh Tillman is a master of satire and sarcasm, and Pure Comedy is the peak of his songwriting skills. The title track is one of the best tracks of the decade, period. And he keeps up the momentum on the following few tracks. The main problem with this record is its weaker second half, but even then it’s criminal to suggest that those songs aren’t good regardless. And despite the bleakness, the one line that sticks in my head after all this time is the line this album fades out to: There’s nothing to fear.

Knife Man - AJJ (2011)

Continuing on the trend of folky, satirical, and bleak records, Knife Man is AJJ’s defining record (next to their debut LP). AJJ blends loud, punky anthems with quieter, folk tracks that touch on sensitive issues in a way only AJJ manages to get away with. And there’s some genuine heart mixed in as well, with the final track Big Bird always striking a chord with me. However, I do feel the record is, let’s just say, padded at times in my opinion. Still, I can’t deny how much i enjoy tracks like Gift of the Magi 2, Hate Rain on Me, The Distance, and Skate Park. Speaking of which when I saw AJJ live recently they played none of those songs and that kinda sucked but hey it was like $20 I can’t complain. And speaking of not getting what I wanted...

You Won’t Get What You Want - Daughters (2018)

It was hard choosing between this record and their 2010 self titled record, but in terms of the overall narrative and variety this record shines through. If there was a number 11 spot in this unorganized list this would probably take that spot. It’s noisey, it’s abrasive, and it’s like nothing you’ve heard before unless you’ve listened to Daughter’s previous records. Tracks like The Reason They Hate Me are catchy in the weirdest and most unwelcoming of ways, Less Sex sounds like a long lost Trent Reznor NIN track, and Guest House is a masochistic and gut wrenching finisher. Fantastic record aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

We Cool? - Jeff Rosenstock (2015)

It’s obvious that I had to include this record somewhere on these list. It’s like a more refined version of the sounds that Jeff experimented with on Vacation. Definitely more punk than ska, but still some of those roots still shine through, especially in the track Nausea. Some of Jeff’s best songs are on this record, from the loud opening tracks Get Old Forever and You, In Weird Cities, to tracks dripping with bittersweet and moody lyrics like I’m Serious, I’m Sorry and Polar Bear or Africa. The main reason this record is on the back end of the top 20 is because the deeper cuts on the record do not match the energy and heights of the best tracks. Tracks like All Blissed Out, The Lows, Darkness Records and Beers Again Alone don’t feel like they belong and stick out a bit. They remind me more of the material Jeff put out on his 2012 EP I Look Like Shit. Mind you they aren’t bad tracks, but I’ll be honest I skip them often when listening to the record because i just wanna get back to the good good stuff. 

Sports - Modern Baseball (2012)

Sports is one of the best pop punk records ever, if you can even consider it as such. It’s like a blend of emo and folk punk, and it works so well. A good majority of this record is on my main shuffle playlist. Is it pushing boundaries? Not really, but tracks like Re-Do, Tears Over Beers, and See Ya, Sucker are undeniably catchy and memorable. I NEED MODERN BASEBALL BACK TOGETHER RN. There’s not really anything that wrong with the record, besides maybe lacking in variety, but at 30 minutes, it’s a record that feels nostalgic even on a first listen, and continues to feel that way even after numerous re-listens. Speaking of nostalgia...

The Suburbs - Arcade Fire (2010)

Some background, when I was 13 (circa 2013), I only really listened to whatever my parents put on for me. From my mom, I “inherited” a taste for classic pop and 80s new wave. From my dad, I got metal and hard rock. The first time I made the conscious decision to listen to a record fully, based on my own curiousity, was when I sat and listened to Sgt. Pepper in the summer of 2013, which broadened the scope of what I thought music could even be. And later that year, the first band I got into after The Beatles? Arcade Fire. When I think of my early teens, the memories are set to this record. I remember listening to Ready to Start in my brother’s old hot ass car while driving to the local fair with some friends on a chill fall night, eating tons of junk and staying up past midnight back when doing that was edgy and cool and not a symptom of my depression. 

If I was judging this record solely by its best tracks, it would easily be in the top 3. But I couldn’t place it in my top 10 because, frankly, some of the deeper cuts are lacking. I can’t say I like Deep Blue. I really don’t like Rococo. And Half Light I kills the pace of the record. But man, that title track, Ready to Start, Modern Man, Empty Room, Half Light II, Sprawl II... these songs defined my early teen years. I still tear up listening to the title track. Sure I have to skip a few songs when I re-listen, but I can’t place it any lower or my heart will break. It existing outside of the top 10 already hurts. And that’s all that’s left now. The top 10. 

But first, some random honorable mentions that didn’t make this list:

Sound & Color - Alabama Shakes

Black Star - David Bowie

Saturation II - BROCKHAMPTON

Melophobia - Cage the Elephant

Teens of Style - Car Seat Headrest

How to Leave Town - Car Seat Headrest

Daughters - Daughters

Sunbather - Deafheaven

Bottomless Pit - Death Grips

Year of the Snitch - Death Grips (should be on this list tbh)

Doris - Earl Sweatshirt

I Love You, Honeybear - Father John Misty

Helplessness Blues - Fleet Foxes

Plastic Beach - Gorillaz

Boarding House Reach - Jack White

POST- - Jeff Rosenstock

S/T - Joyce Manor

Firepower - Judas Priest

ye - Kanye West

KIDS SEE GHOSTS - KSG

You Were There - Kill Lincoln

Flying Microtonal Banana - King Gizzard

Infest The Rats’ Nest - King Gizzard

No New World - Mass of the Fermenting Dregs

Bury Me At Makeout Creek - Mitski

Puberty 2 - Mitski

Unsilent Death - Nails

Itekoma Hits - Otoboke Beaver

Morbid Stuff - PUP

A Moon Shaped Pool - Radiohead

RTJ3 - Run the Jewels

Angles - The Strokes

To Be Kind - Swans

Undertale OST - Toby Fox

Scum Fuck Flower Boy - Tyler, The Creator 

Igor - Tyler, The Creator

Weezer (White Album) - Weezer

nightlife - yuragi

#music #2010s

[coalessscence]

The Big Mun Questionnaire Thingamajig— answer these questions then tag 20 blogs you’d like to know better!

tagged by: @patiencetaught !! thank u sm my babe! tagging: UHHH ok imma try my best here, @zerotoherc, @gentlegently, @dvstv, @infcrtunii, @gvtshct, @skepticspooked, @skepticreal, @kradljivac, @bruadcr, @prctextlve, @amourfugitif, @keepgcing, @17escapes, @scaredvicious, @surrepo-iuvenisdomina, @withhclding, @femmeveined, @dyingthing, @thriceflamed, @axisii I THINK THATS 2O OF U and uhhhh whoever else wants to ???

nicknames: none that i know of?

zodiac: libra

height: 5′ 2

time: 9:24 a.m.

favourite band / artist: it’s hard for me to have just One (1) fave but if forced to arbitrarily make a choice i will say currently working fave is a toss up between panic! at the disco and marina & the diamonds, all time fave regardless of the fact that they are not together anymore is triumph, and/or rik emmet as a solo artist after triumph broke up, even though he’s now getting ready to retire

song stuck in my head: literally was humming “fuck up” by shane dawson all last night and this morning. i am currently listening to twtltrtd (its a panic album that has a long ass name dw abt it lol) so technically its not in my head rn but im sure it will be later.

last movie i saw: in my psych class we had to watch that movie with all the emotions in the girl’s head that the “do you ever wonder what is going on inside someone’s head” meme is from what is it called akdhffhg UPDATE: after much meme googling the last movie i saw is called inside out

last thing i googled: literally the entire text of the what is going on inside their head meme to find the name of that movie lol but before that, it was ‘sniper elite 3 siwa oasis’ bc i was looking smth up for my dad who was stuck on a level in a video game lol

other blogs: i no longer have any other rp blogs, just this one!

do i get asks: sometimes i do get memes and sometimes i even get those kindness campaign or similar messages which is hella rad and y’all are a buncha babes ok ily

why did i choose this username: uuuuh so basically i had like, a LOT of single muse blogs and brought them all together to this multi. so the word coalesce was relevant bc to coalesce means “to come together, to form one mass or a whole”. coalescence is like, the verb?? version of that word ??? idk how grammar works but basically thats the other tense of coalesce and it looked pretty so i chose it. then i just added S’s until the url wasn’t taken and here we are lol

following: 709 i need 2 stop

average amount of sleep: like, 5-6????

what i’m wearing: normally i make an effort to display Style and Fashion (tm) but atm i’m in pajamas lol rip i guess

dream job: i rly want to be an entertainer ???? like idk. i wanna have a youtube channel. i wanna get to work on tv somehow, i wanna be on a radio show or podcast, i wanna write a book,  i wanna put out an album and tour on it, i wanna be a model. i wanna build my own career based on doing a lot of different kinds of things that are fun for me to do and even more fun for other people to consume as content/media, but find the common thread in all of those things being my brand??? which sounds literally crazy i know but idk. with the internet doing what the internet has done for everyone i think its more possible now than ever so who knows. but i’m going to school for computer science so idk if that will EVER happen lol

dream trip: i honestly don’t know.... there are places i wanna go, like japan, but idk. i RLY wanna do that thing where you go from one end of the US to the other on the amtrak train with a good friend ??? and just see my own country and stop off in stations in little towns and see what people’s lives there are like ??? i just think that would be really neat. i’d make a video series about it.

favourite food: nearest food. nearest food is favorite food.

play any instruments: kind of sort of guitar/ukulele/piano also does singing count as an instrument? but at the same time god help me i probably sound terrible at all of them in reality so dont bet on it

eye colour: brown

hair colour: just as brown

languages you speak: english, know some very basic basic spanish and i barely know like five words and 2 of the 3 alphabets in japanese (one day when i have time to do things and can spend less time being Stressed & Depressed (tm)  i would like to be halfway fluent in spanish, japanese, korean, and hawaiian. if the resources become available to do so i would love to learn pottawatomie as well, which is the native language of the tribes where i am from, which is a big part of the culture there still (tho there are dwindling native speakers of the language itself and not a lot of resources atm, altho conservation efforts are being made).

most iconic song: im gonna be honest with you, the first thought i had upon reading this was all star, and i cant say im fully committed but im not gonna sit here for twenty minutes analyzing this answer so ????? its all star fight me

random fact: i need to wash my heckin makeup brushes more often bc damn im a Mess

describe yourself as aesthetic things: a pastel pink shirt that reads ‘empty inside’ in fanciful cursive. bright 80s colorblocking covering the void in your soul. white and gold christmas decor that’s still up mid january. a bed that used to be made but was rumpled by sitting on it. getting a hand cramp from taking notes with a glitter gel pen. a collection of handcreams in various airy scents. a heaviness in your bones that you can’t escape from. the fallout from rainbows of makeup smeared onto a desk. paint chipping off where your wrists touch a laptop from overuse. an adorable hair ribbon paired with a leather jacket. the tragedy of emotion. self deprecation that edges into mirth. being self aware of an unhealthy nature. kawaii smeared by the remains of an emo phase that never happened and invaded by the jewel toned velours of modern day culture.

#that aesthetic tag section is way too dramatic lol but listen...... i Tried Hard #and i think its accurate #ANYWAYS #THANK U FOR TAGGING ME MY BABE SORRY IT TOOK ME 10 YEARS TO DO IT #⌲ t a g s #⌲ m u n t h i n g s #⌲ m u n s p e a k #⌲ o o c #⌲ i don't wanna feel Q U E U E anymore

[readfelice-blog]

moominland chronicles Sechszehn: bloody tale of woe continued

Sunday, Monday, Happy Days,

Tuesday, Wednesday, Happy Days,

Thursday, Friday, Happy Days,

The weekend comes, my cycle hums

Ready to race to you

These days are ours

Happy and free. (Oh Happy Days)

These days are ours

Share them with me.(Oh baby)

Goodbye grey sky, hello blue,

there's nothing can hold me when I hold you.

feels so right you can't be wrong,

rockin' and rollin' all week long.

Saturday, what a day

Groovin' all week with you

It’s Wednesday // now its Sunday (I couldn’t finish this on Wednesday, it was still to close).

First off I’m asking for money, I will go into more depth next week because I’m facing the crisis of what the value of my work really is, for now this is my Crowdfunding campaign:

https://igg.me/at/bocemachtocho/x/19564227

Please support if you can.

Music….

Just listen to these, they’re both little slices of genius that deserve your time:

LYDIA LUNCH Queen of Siam

https://www.discogs.com/Lydia-Lunch-Queen-Of-Siam/release/392276

NICOLAS JAAR Hardcore Ambient Mix

https://soundcloud.com/otherpeoplerecords/nicolas-jaar-harcore-ambient …

Here’s the recap and then what happened next on my fine romp through the German Health service…

MONDAY 1/10/18

bleeding

First clot plops out, come into contact with rude receptionists, no one will give me an appointment

TUESDAY 2/10/18

bleeding

Horrible morning cleaning, go to TK and sort my insurance, go to emergency doctor who tells me to go to a gynaecologist

WEDNESDAY 3/10/18

bleeding

Home all day making work, have a little singsong at night. (national holiday - no doctors open)

THURSDAY 4/10/18

Bleeding

Go to job, go to gynaecologist who's not there / will be going on holiday, ring more rude receptionists, fall into the office of a gynaecologists pleading for help, take my pants off, get ultrasound spy dildo inserted up me, bleed all over the doctor. Am told I am pregnant, am told I am not pregnant, am told to go to hospital and go to my insurance. Go to my insurance, get my letter, wander round seemingly abandoned hospital, go home broken.

Oh, ask for help- email my boss / mentor and tell her what’s going on. Email all my clients and cancel all my jobs for the next week.

FRIDAY 5/10/18

Bleeding

Wake up and get a taxi to hospital.

Beg to be seen by someone.

Female gynaecologist sees me this time - take my pants off, get ultrasound spy dildo inserted up me and am roughly routed around in with alarming metal objects and no warning that it will hurt or being asked whether I am in pain. Am told it’s not a baby its a polyp, am scheduled for surgery, spend 2 hours filling in forms, waiting, am given appointment for 9.30am Monday morning and turfed out. Leave, realise I can’t get the note from my doctor (they’re all closed) I need before the weekend, go back, cry at admin assistant, have minor breakdown, am settled and sent away.

Sit shakily on bench in small square by U Bahn on the grounds of the hospital, talk to Moon, go home, tuck myself in and bleed.

My mentor says she’ll come to see me at the hospital, what do I like to eat (I have to stay overnight).

SATURDAY 6/10/18

Bleeding

Move very little, bleed very much, buy some food.

SUNDAY 7/10/18

Bleeding

Much like Saturday but I write and publish my blog.

My mentor asks me what time to come see me.

First wave of friends that read blog get in contact,

“Felice ….. now im sneakily reading your bloody ( literally bloody this time) blog to find out whats actually happening with you. I hope you´re okay!, and if you ever do ask for help I will do my best to help you.”

MONDAY 8/10/18

Bleeding

Get up 6AM, have shower very slowly, am in a lot of pain (its worst in the morning), sit outside my house and wait for Taxi, get taxi, tell the driver I miss free healthcare, he tells me he misses his family in Istanbul. Am deposited outside doctors (to ask for note), wait for 20 mins to get slip of paper and give the receptionist a hug.

Get another uber to Hospital, he leaves me at the gates and I walk to the Frauen Klinik, not sure of where to go I wait at registration then am directed up to my ward and power off with 45 minutes till my surgery, the admin assistant tells me “alles gut”.

Up at station 35, the nurses are friendly, I go to another registration office, back to wait in overcrowded little patient room, fill in a tome of forms in German using the camera on Google Translate to try make sense of them, hand back the forms and slyly observe the small Russian family to my right, the son talks expansively, the mother is softly spread from middle age and fairly tethered to the father, she beckons him to join her but he’s brittle and stands by the window instead, I don’t know what's wrong with her.

30 minutes after my scheduled surgery, 10am, then 45, I am called in to a nurses office where she tell’s me, as if I should know, I’ve been rescheduled for 12:50, she's nice and she tries to speak English, she asks what becomes some kind of pass code,

“Have you eaten on drunk anything today? Do you have any allergies?”

The nurse will take you to your room now, but go back and wait first.

I encounter a gorgeous young elfin nurse and ask if I can go a cigarette on my way to the patient room, where more people are piled in now, she says yes 5 minutes, I promise thats what I’ll do.

Inhale cigarette run back upstairs.

She’s there again, she didn’t know I was scheduled for surgery! Tell them when they take you to your room, just in case.

I stand in the corridor for 20 mins, there is nowhere to sit in the patient room.

A nurse comes and deposits me in my room, it's like places I’ve stayed in generic expansive hotels, a Holiday Inn perhaps, charge my phone, hug my pig because of course I brought him. A nurse enters roughly 30 mins later and tells me to change, its the young elfin nurse, I bundle my things in the cupboard and lock the door, give her the key. Then I change and wait.

In comes another nurse, high cheekbones and a wide smile, I climb into bed but manage to get her to listen to me when I say I’ve had a cigarette, a gasp, she calls down to surgery, a moment where I’m not sure if they’ll operate, but its ok and off we go. I am wheeled to the lift, she touches my shoulder often, she's forgotten all her notes and runs back to the room leaving me lying by the lift, she comes back, still no notes, they’re under my pillow. We continue.

It's like a hospital drama from first person perspective, I’m scared, I’ve never been wheeled around in a bed before, the viewpoint is totally new and robs you of all your independence, I am just a body, unable to move, looking up at the people that flash in and out on my journey down to surgery.

“Have you eaten anything today? Do you have any allergies?” Repeated over and over again, I tell my surgeon I’m not sure sure how much I love Berlin after the last week, I tell the man that doesn’t introduce himself to me and has a strange smile on his face that makes me feel uncomfortable, that I’ve lived here for 6 months, I repeat “No I’ve not eaten anything, No I don’t have any allergies, I’m wheeled next to the operating table, my clothes are removed, a drip is stuck inside me and I’m given a mask, I precariously climb onto the table and then nothing….

I wake up blearily, to be told there was no polyp, its low estrogen, blinking, moments of consciousness, they explain what’s wrong me, or not in this case because they don’t know, there was a lot of blood, I feel like it’s my fault. I ask for the blood clots they’re removed, because I want to see them, but they’re never brought to me.

My nurse takes me back to my room, there’s another woman there now, I’m so frustrated that after an hour or so of sleep I stubbornly dress and go for a smoke, despite the head nurse on the ward saying “if you pass out, I’m not coming down to collect you.”

Then back up, more sleep, my rose quartz angel (mentor, but this is her true form) comes to visit, she brings lilies and salted chocolate, I tell her they didn’t find anything, I am still bleeding, now in my hospital pants rather than my own knickers. She leaves when the nurses bring in dinner, 2 slices of stale bread, 2 slices of plastic cheese, 4 patties of butter, cheese, to be honest I’m not sure. I eat them but am glad I have the chocolate to.

I’m still high on the drugs they’ve given me, I buzz up and down for cigarettes and feel strangely lucid, I text and read the books the rose quartz angel brought me, I try and pretend to myself that it’s all ok now.

My roommate is Russian, she speaks in German or Russian on her phone constantly, but she does not understand English, so we don’t talk. At 21:30 the head nurse administers pain killers and offers to freshen my back “no thanks” then my roommate turns off her light, so I do the same.

But I can’t sleep, so I just toss and turn, 2 hours or so later I wake and patter off to the kitchen to look for food, I’m starving, I find a container of muesli and some milk, I sneakily pour it in a cup alongside a cup of soup, then I craftily return to my room feeling like I’ve subverted the system somehow. The water isn’t hot enough for the cup of soup to melt so there’s fatty globs of it still in the cup, I eat everything anyway, in the dark, then I try to sleep. Another few hours and I manage some shut eye, my body is craving touch from another though, it’s desperately shouting at me.

Good Omens is funny isn’t it?

Eartheater has played and is now probably at some hedonistic afterparty.

TUESDAY 8/10/18

Bleeding

My roommate wakes before me, but I’m half awake, people come in and out (nurses to attend to her requests), she talks on the phone, at 9:00 they wheel in breakfast, 2 slices of stale bread, a piece of plastic cheese and more patties of butter, plus some questionable conserves.

This bread is tough.

A doctor comes in whilst breakfast is still at my side table,

“So you can go whenever you want, we told you what's wrong with you right?”

“When I was high on the drugs you’d given me yes.”

“It’s a hormonal imbalance, you need to go see your gynaecologist so they can give you the IUD.”

“Ok.”

There was no polyp, or alien baby, but I wasn’t conscious so how do I know.

I pack up and exit like a rockstar, but maybe the kind of rockstar your dad becomes at a disco after a few beers rather than Iggy Pop. Before I exit the hospital completely I go see the admin team about my insurance one last time, to ask if I have to call my insurance, because apparently this little hospital holiday will likely cost up to 30k, the woman tells me its ok and I give her a big hug, lilies still in hand, then I dance down to the street, I must still be high on drugs.

i sidestep to the office of the woman I cried at on Friday, because it wasn't her fault so I drew her my lilies to say sorry, she doesn’t have her flowery crocs on today but she's still oddly special and her eyes are crystalline as I run off.

But I’m still bleeding.

I go home on the U Bahn, via the gynaecologists I’ve now crashed into 3 times this week, but my welcome isn’t so warm this time. I need to see the doctor, maybe not today but this week, I hand them my referral note and my operation notes, she goes to talk to him. I get the impression I’m becoming an annoyance now, as if this is all my fault.

“He can see you in 10 days”

“I haven’t stopped bleeding, I need it to be sooner than that.”

She is still kind faced as she ponders this, “ok Thursday morning 8:30?”

“Thats my birthday but yes.”

I finally get home after making some heady announcements via email and facebook that all is right with the world again (drugs still? Who knows).

My rose quartz angel brings me a ton of leafy greens, soups, nuts, tea, yoghurt, chocolate, the care package from heaven and she sits in my little yellow kitchen briefly not drinking her tea.

“So did they take hormonal tests if they think its hormones?

Are you not scared?

I don’t think you should go back to this doctor, I think you need a second opinion and I think he’s a tool, get some more contacts and I’ll do a call round for you tomorrow, see what I can find.”

She had botched surgery before she moved to Berlin, there’s a hole in her mouth now, she called and emailed surgeons all over the world to consult with. She sat opposite a friend of the surgeons, another surgeon, who told her that her investigation could ruin his friends reputation, he didn’t give his opinion.

Doctors are humans to.

After she leaves I’m thrown back in to a land of exasperated worry, I trawl the internet to find more English speaking gynaecologists, I phone the doctor that discharged me, who is not happy to hear from me and through gritted teeth tells me there are no hormone tests, any medical professional would just know that it was an imbalance.

I go to bed worried, the bleeding is getting heavier again.

WEDNESDAY 10/10/18

Bleeding

After a very goog nights rest I receive a call from my rose quartz angel, shes got me an appointment way out at templehof in 2 hours. I dress and get ready slowly, all the connections are seamless, I feel like my angel is with me, I get to the doctors in good time.

Walking through the leafy grounds of the hospital with crisp autumn sun shimmering through the leaves that are a spectrum of warm colours. Not in a panic because my rose quartz angel has sent me a map as well. I walk in exactly on time, have a little tussle with the receptionist about my insurance card, am seated, wait on a white wicker chair reading Alan Watts. The waiting room is airy and feminine, the staff wear pink t-shirts and German pop echoes out from the speaker just to my right above me, I pour myself water and have a little cup of tea.

When my doctor comes out I look at her for 5 minutes before registering she's asking for my name.

Then I repeat my bloody tale of woe to her.

She doesn’t want to just bung me up with an IUD, it will cost me 300euros to do so (or there around) and it won’t solve the problem. She wants to have a look in my uterus as well, so I climb on to her chair and have the spy dildo inserted up me for the 3rd time in the last 7 days, but shes gentle, she tells me it might hurt and to let her know if I’m in pain.

“Well they did a good job of cleaning you out at least because there’s nothing in there now.”

Clothes back on, my ovaries look fine, she’s going to check with her senior doctor to see what he thinks.

I’m back in the waiting room, then in her office.

“So, pills to clot the blood and stop you bleeding. You don’t have to go on the pill, what do you think?”

“I think I want to cover all my bases.”

“Great, me to. Once the bleeding has stopped call us, then we can do a smear test and try to find out whats going on.”

I walk out to a really beautiful autumn day, the kind that framed your first weeks back at school or college, when everything was so fresh and exciting. Whilst I wait for my pills I have coffee and cake at a small cafe that serves the passion cake my mum makes, its the only place I’ve ever found that does so and I’ll be back there again next week.

THURSDAY 11/10/18

Bleeding (getting less)

It’s my birthday.

The bear messages me that the doctor agree’s he's showing symptoms of chlamydia, he's been given antibiotics and I should go ASAP (but no test results as of yet).

“I’ll talk to my gyno next week, its my birthday today and I’m sick of clinics and hospitals this week.”

STI tests are not covered on my insurance.

Ok, no more days need to be charted now, the bleeding is nearly stopped I’ll be back to leafy Templehof at the earliest convenient time next week.

If it is an STI after all this let me just quickly cite what would of happened had I been in the UK with the NHS:

I would of gone to the sex health centre at Homerton Hospital, the same time I went to the emergency doctors on my first visit, around 3 months ago. But I would have had the whole spectrum of tests, rather than just doing 3, because I couldn’t afford the chlamydia test and it would cost 300euro if it came back positive anyway.

A week later I would of received an automated message telling me if I had chlamydia, I would of gone to collect my antibiotics and nothing more would of come of this.

It would of cost the NHS at least a 10th of what its costing my health insurance provider in Germany, because it would of been solved, no carousel of ultrasound spy dildos. No being wheeled down to surgery.

I’m not saying it is Chlamydia, it could be hormones, it could be cancer (but lets brush that one aside), but if it is Chlamydia then this glaring discrepancy of costs and stress is almost mind boggling, all because I would of had access to free testing and treatment.

Anyway I’m done for now, though will update again next week, hopefully in less detail as I’m hoping now I have a diligent and thoughtful doctor I’ll be able to start getting better, and as I say the bleeding has nearly stopped.

My birthday was fantastic, I got to lie on the floor of Saal 1 at Funkhaus and let sound wash over me, bless the folk at Monom, I’m off to Treptower now to see friends I haven’t seen in a while then to a dance studio I’m renting, to sing my heart out in peace. It’s another beautiful day and I’m really looking forward to seeing these friends, I’ve missed them.

But just before I round out this tale of madness for now, I want to say that during the course of the week so many people have been in touch from Berlin and from home to offer support and anything else they can do, it’s really a beautiful thing, there are so many fantastic people in this world and I’m so grateful, thank you. I put all my dirty laundry on display, I don’t really know why, but I get so much from doing it and I don’t think I’ll be stopping anytime soon.

Happy Sunday all.

#self care #Berlin #nhs

[nailriddenbat]

Road Trip | Series - More Like a Beauty Queen (1)

Requested by: Anonymous ; Yo! How about Steve and reader going a a road trip together for spring break and being cute and coupley?

Summary: It’s the summer of 1987. Another year of college is over for Steve Harrington and he is ready to hit the road for his drive back to Hawkins, but things change when he receives unexpected company.

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Reader (SLOWBURN)

Warnings: Language

Word Count: 2.4k

A/N: surprise ~ so this story is going to be slightly different from the request, but i hope do it justice. i’m very excited to share this with you and i really hope you all enjoy it. xoxo - k

Tags (PLEASE message me if you want to be added to the permanent tag list for any fic, especially if you already asked and I forgot!): @thegirlwhoisintoomanyfandoms @la-fille-en-aiguilles @jj-writes-shit @thebitterbookeater @with-a-hint-of-pesto-aioli @richletozler @royalwolfhard @just-smile-darling @w-ingardiumleviosa @buckysmaingir l @magic-and-timetravel  @jupiter-leo @ttrraasshh @somekryptonitewriting @dudee-what @tmalchow @hedabucky @wallacetdog @twelvedacrewoods @mikeygc3000 @stressedoutkylo  @istanuriss @anevenstrangerblog @scintillllating @dylanowhyyien  @daniimiss @xguardiangel  @me-a-hopeless-romantic @negroneon @sweetheartmendes @goimaginethiss  @madhatterweasley @cupcaitlyn96 @onlyalittleteenwolfobsessed @poets-are-sinners @harringtonhuddle @kingkenzieo @ssweet-empowerment @blackhawklove @harringtonwife @lola-winston-harrington @im-disgustingly-vain @alwaysmebeforeyou  @kinghairington @lilo-1398 @xanaphorax @ash-the-reader @heckin-harrington 

Parts:

More Like a Beauty Queen (1)

Don’t Masquerade (2)

Let’s Rock (3)

He Seemed Brokenhearted (4)

He Was With Me (5) ( Coming Soon)

Steve took a deep breath of that fresh California air, leaning his head back. The summer breeze hit him and tossed his hair back lightly and he slipped his hands into the pockets of his denim jeans. His dorm building stood tall behind him as its occupants fled for the summer break. They would be back in a few short months and so would he, and he would be ready to tackle his fourth and final year of college.

He pulled one hand out of his pocket and walked over to the payphones that were pressed against the exterior of the building. He pulled out the appropriate amount of change and listened as they hit the bottom before he reached for the phone and dialed the number. 

As he held the phone against his ear, Steve listened to the operator’s voice before he could hear the tone of a ringing phone. Seconds ticked by but soon he was grinning as a voice rang in his ear, “Steve! Did you hit the road yet?”

“Obviously not if I’m calling you right now, dipshit,” Steve chuckled.

Dustin Henderson had become the brother his parents could never be bothered to give him. He fit the description well. He was annoying, overbearing, and sure as hell never listened to a single thing that he was told. Dustin was also caring and compassionate and had a heart of gold, so he balanced himself out.  

“When the hell are you leaving? You have to get back here as soon as possible so we can start the next campaign!” Dustin shouted.

“How many times have I told you? I’m never going to understand that damn game,” he sighed into the phone but grinned the entire time.

“Never say never, Steve. Do you know how long it’ll take you to get back?” Dustin continued asking questions but Steve was unable to provide any answers.

“Dustin, relax for two seconds,” Steve had to cut him off abruptly. “I’m going to run out of time on this call but I’m going to fill the car up and I’ll be on the road after that.”

“Do you promise to call and check in at each stop so I know you weren’t kidnapped by some sort of psycho in the desert or some sort of truck driver? I’ve seen the movies, Steve. I know what happens,” Dustin continued to speak.

“Nothing is going to happen. I’ll call you when I can. Try to hold off on any trouble until I get there so I can keep an eye out on you losers,” Steve said his final goodbye before hanging up the phone, knowing that if he didn’t Dustin would just continue to speak.

With that being done, he was free to walk through the parking lot to where his car was parked. He swung the key loop around his finger before sitting down in the driver's seat. With the car started and the windows rolled down, Steve said farewell to the college campus as he made his way out onto the road.

Steve was comfortable with leaving the music off and listening to the sounds of California. He could hear snippets of conversations from people who were jogging by. He could hear clips of songs or the voices of local radio hosts coming from the cars around him. There were dogs barking and children laughing, and the breeze blew through the open windows. 

He would never admit it but there was something about California that had drawn him in from the second he stepped foot onto campus. He could remember the day that he made his college decision. 

Steve had been standing in an empty house. His parents were gone once again and the envelope bearing his name glared at him from its spot on the dining room table.  He could open it and face the harsh reality that he would be stuck in Hawkins forever. Or he could open it and sigh with relief that he would be getting a ticket out of there. When he decided to rip that envelope open, he nearly ripped the letter in half and dropped it on the floor. It fell facing upwards and from his standing position, Steve was able to read the life-changing words: “Dear Mr. Harrington, we are pleased to offer you our congratulations on being accepted...”

It wasn’t a decision that he made easily, but it was the best one for him. And so here he was, three years into his college career as he studied criminal justice. Steve had plans to come home and join forces with Hopper, but until then he would enjoy his time away from the crazy Hawkins, Indiana as best as he could.

Steve pulled into the gas station and parked next to the pump. As soon as he filled his tank up on gas and stopped for some snacks, he would be able to begin his peaceful road trip back home.

With his trusty wayfarers hanging on the tip of his nose, he perused the labels of chips and candy. Occasionally he would hold something up to look at it closely and it would either end up in his basket or back on the shelf. 

“How could you pass up a bag of Doritos? That’s heaven in a bag.”

Steve looked up and over to his right but turned to his left. You were leaning up against the display with your arms crossed over your chest and a red flannel tied around your waist. Your denim shorts were cut off and the edges were frayed. There was something about you that seemed so familiar. Was it the brightness of your eyes? Or was it the dimples that Steve could make out as you stared at him with a grin? Perhaps it was your sweet voice?

“It’s creepy to just stare at someone in response to a question,” you snickered.

“Sorry,” Steve cleared his throat and pulled his sunglasses off of his nose as they began to fall.

“You don’t have to ask,” you rolled your eyes with a heavy sigh. “Yes, we know each other. We go to the same school and we’ve shared a few classes. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen you lingering around the quad.”

“I don’t...” Steve shook his head slowly. How the hell could he not remember you, he thought to himself?

“Ouch. I’m a little offended, Harrington. I can remember our entire first encounter and you can’t even remember my name!” you pushed yourself off of the display and wandered over to Steve. You reached forward and picked up the bag of Doritos that he had just put back and ripped open the bag.

“You can’t do that,” Steve gasped.

You shrugged and bit into the first chip with a grin, then held the bag out to him. 

“No, I don’t want any of those,” he looked around nervously, expecting an employee to storm over and kick them out.

You bit into the second chip and hummed as you chewed. “The longer you take to figure out who I am, the more chips I eat. Tick, tock, Steve,” you shrugged.

“I don’t remember who you are, okay?” he started to laugh nervously and ran his hand through his hair. “Stop eating the chips and just tell me.”

“Fine,” you sighed dramatically and ran your cheese covered fingers over your shorts. “We took that psych course in the fall semester. I was the girl who had all the questions about serial killers and kept throwing the professor off.”

Steve dropped his head forward. Yes, he thought. He remembered exactly who you were. The professor had been subjected to handing out copies of his handwritten notes because he was never able to get through a full lecture without you turning the conversation around. It had been amusing, but also very trying on his patience. “Y/N,” he said your name and you clapped your hands excitedly.

“Give him a round of applause for remembering me!” you began to shout.

“Okay, okay,” he waved his hand to get you to lower your voice.

“So now that you finally remembered who I am, you can tell me what you’re doing at this gas station and why you’re passing up valuable snacks,” you continued to eat the Doritos as you looked at him.

“Uh, road trip. Stocking up,” he explained briefly as he waved the basket around a bit. 

“Indiana, right?” you asked him.

“How did you...”

“I remembered you mentioning that in your class introduction. I’m from there too! Don’t exactly have a ride, though, so I’ll be hitchhiking my way back,” you shrugged your shoulders nonchalantly.

“Hitchhiking?” Steve asked you. “You don’t have a car? Or a bus ticket? Couldn’t get home by plane?”

“Yes, no, no, and no,” you answered. You finished the bag of chips and crumbled it up, hiding it back on the shelves. You held your finger up to your lips and winked at him.

“That’s insane. It’ll take you ages to get back there,” he stuttered over his words.

“Do you have any other ideas, Harrington?” you turned to him and tightened the flannel around your waist. You lifted one leg so you could adjust the shoelaces of your shoes.

“Isn’t there anyone you know who could give you a ride?” he continued to ask questions. The thought of hitchhiking all the way to Indiana was absolute madness.

You walked by him and your arm brushed against his. You turned to look at him and grinned, “The only one I know who is heading to Indiana is you, Steve. You offering me a ride?”

Steve’s eyes went wide as he looked over at you. He mumbled incoherently and you grinned even more.

“I’ll go put my bags in your car, then! The BMW, right? Brownish, sort of reddish color? Indiana plates? You’re the best, Harrington!” you winked over at him and went to leave but turned back suddenly. “Might as well put Doritos in that basket.”

Before Steve could form a firm argument, you were skipping out of the store and over to where you had left your bags. As if he were under some sort of control, he scooped a few bags of Doritos into the basket before he rushed over to the counter to pay. He scrambled to grab the bags from the attendant and nearly tripped over his own two feet as you popped open his trunk and began to squeeze one of your bags in with his.

“Hey, hey! What the hell are you doing?” Steve asked you.

“Packing my bags up, what does it look like I’m doing?” you grunted as you squeezed the second bag into the trunk before closing it, moving to push the rest back into the back seat.

“I never said you could come along. I barely know you,” he started to ramble as he watched you pack up the car, but he couldn’t make any moves.

“You’ll get to know me on the trip, then!” you shouted out. You pulled back and closed the door, brushing your hands together. “I promise I’m not crazy. And think of it this way! I’ll be able to help with the driving and we can probably get back to Indiana ten times faster.”

Steve opened his mouth again, ready to present more arguing points but you reached forward and tugged the shopping bag out of his hand. “If you really don’t want me on this trip, say it. But I see Doritos in this bag which tells me that you’re okay with this.”

The two of you stared each other down as you stood next to the gas pump. Steve refused to let go of the bag so it dangled in between the two of you. After a minute or so, his hand dropped and he sighed, “You have to help with the driving and pitch in for gas and food. And do not open any other sort of snack without paying for it first.”

“You got it,” you winked and pulled the bag against your chest before sitting down in the passenger seat. 

Steve ran his hands over his face and whispered to himself, “What the fuck have I gotten myself into?”

Once he sat in the car and started it up, you reached forward to turn the radio on.

“I like the silence,” Steve groaned a bit.

“Fuck that, it’s the beginning of our road trip! We need good music!” you flipped through the channels but stopped when you heard the opening of one of your all-time favorite songs. “It’s Billie Jean! I love Michael Jackson!”

Steve tried to ignore you as he pulled out onto the road. You hummed along to the song as you reached into his glove compartment and pulled out the roadmap just in case it was needed. The song continued and you glanced over at Steve, unimpressed with his stoic impression. In that moment, you made it your goal to break that boy and get him to pull whatever stick had been stuck up his ass. 

“And mother always told me, be careful who you love,” you sang softly, pulling your eyes away from his.

He tried to hold in a sigh. You sang. Of course, you sang. 

“And be careful what you do, cause the lie becomes the truth...” you continued, raising your voice a little higher.

Steve gripped the steering wheel tighter and bit down on his tongue when he noticed you reach out to turn the music up even more just as the chorus began to play. He nearly pulled the car over sharply as you leaned over the center console to sing along loudly, “Billie Jean is not my lover, she’s just the girl who claims that I am the one but the kid is not my son!” You pulled yourself back dramatically, clutching your hands to your chest.

“Are you going to be like this the entire trip?” Steve shouted over the music.

You continued to sing but looked over at him, winking again. He caught your glance and suddenly felt his throat tighten. Steve looked away quickly, feeling as if there were something enchanting about your stare. As you went on with your singing performance in the passenger seat and as Steve focused on getting them onto the main road, he wondered if he had just made the best or the worst mistake of his life.

#stranger things #stranger things 2 #steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington reader #steve harrington/reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington you #steve harrington/you #joe keery #joe keery x reader #joe keery reader #joe keery/reader #joe keery x you #joe keery you #joe keery/you #stranger things fic #stranger things imagine #fic #imagine #stranger things angst #stranger things fluff #steve harrington angst #steve harrington fluff

[kadyshackkk-blog]

Final Reckoning Episode One Review plus a little info from seasons past.

Hello World! Mtv’s Hit The Challenge Returned Tuesday July 10, 2018 at 9pm! This season is “the end of the challenge as we know it”. Which as of right now I’m calling total b.s. since well mtv the last few season has been “recreating” older seasons ie; The Challenge Invasion of the champions, a very sad and terrible attempt to recreate the iconic The Ruins. Then we went into Dirty 30, the longest season in existence and a horrible rip off of Free Agents which in my opinion was the last great season of the show. In the dirty 30 we had something called the purge aka lets fuck Darrell over and allow a bunch of idiots to run the show. Yes I am still bitter because Darrell was robbed out of a title that season and instead our winners were a racist and an anti feminist douche lord, I mean Camila and Jordan. Then we slide into Vendettas after that tragic second season of Champs V stars, which we won’t even talk about since it was a bunch of d list celebrities who i didnt even know and well the terrell owens aka the biggest bitch in the nfl. Moving along, on Vendettas we received a much needed invasion of new people from big brother and mtv uk! Be warned I have never watched mtv Uk shows or any big brother so I had zero idea who these people were but I was excited to see them! We also got from season 5 of are you the one Kam, Eddie, and Alicia. I loved that season of ayto and the people they chose to come onto vendettas made total sense. But what didn’t make any sense at all was the poor get rid of eddie they did. Now I will only say this once and the source that told me this is very credible since he was on their season of ayto he also doesn’t like either person involved however he dislikes eddie more. Simple fact is Alicia Lied, plan and simple. There was never a restraining order or anything of that nature. You can look it up online its public information in every state. Moving on from that, the additions from the uk were all very attractive, and before you gasp and say even Kyle?! Yes even Kyle , I feel like he looks better in person then he does on tv. The fights that season we’re beyond annoying . This was my face anytime Kailah or nicole spoke or were on my tv screen  

I give them both a chance every season they are on but they always make me regret giving said chance. The luggage throwing incident pissed me the fuck off. & Before you all go WeLL cArA dID iT To JOrdAn guess what she put a waterproof bag of his clothes in water omg get over it. Jemmeye Kailah & Britni Ganged up on kayleigh because of a rumor about her and bananas that Devin started to get Johnny thrown into elimination. It was not okay, it is never okay to touch someone elses belongings ever. I do not care, her stuff was broken and none of the actual apologized for it. 

Now for what you came for my review of the Challenge Final Reckoning Episode 1

First off I was hoping this season was a team season sadly it was just a rip off of the Rivals series which was only decent for rivals 1 and 2. Rivals 3 was ridiculous and a waste of time and energy. In the beginning we see everyone show up and Tj is all like guess what your partner is buried and you have to find them! oh and the last two teams will be sent home ending their time in south africa. Me as a view knowing damn well tj is full of shit 

We see Zach dig up his partner Amanda first. Listen I was very excited to hear that Amanda was coming back this season! I really was until all the twitter beef with cara, and unless you’ve been living under a rock you know exactly what I am talking about. (hint him and amanda won the challenge wooooooooh)

Here is everyones partnerships.

Zach & Amanda; Their beef seems a little forced since it’s about Amanda “making up” lies about jenna that even jenna confirmed was true. This team will go far if Zach learns how to work well with women.

Angela & Faith; I honestly don’t understand their beef, really over tor’i really. irrelevant ass team. Angela doesn’t have that same energy she did with Alicia when it comes to Shane and Kam. They won’t go far unless someone (cough cough angela sleeps with someone in power, pulling a veronica in the ruins when she hooked up with my favorite toothbrush twin evan.)

Dj Bald I mean Brad & hair plugs pathological liar I mean kyle; THIS TEAM MAKES ZERO SENSE YALL DEADASS MADE SOME SHIT UP. UHM HELLOOO DARRELL TAYLOR DID NOT WHOOP THAT ASS ON THE RUINS FOR ZERO REASON. Like mtv please stop calling kyle , he literally makes me want to stab him daily.

Cara & Marie; Listen these two have serious dislike for each other over a fucking tweet cara liked & it makes sense they are together. I honestly think this team will do well if Marie Actually fucking tries which i think she will. Tbh marie did campaign to be caras Partner.. However I feel like we as viewers deserved a coral cara team. Those two are both very strong women who need to work out their issues and become civil because I personally love them both.

Ct & Veronica; An og team, ct called v weak but she won more daily challenges then the majority of the girls on dirty 30 . A team to actually fear if they try and win 

Derrick & Tori; Yasssss my boo derrick is back!!!!!! Don’t tell tyler but i adore derrick and think hes amazing. I really like tori as well but her taste in men is just as questionable as mine. Back story tori cheated on derrick with jordan. therefor they don’t like each other.

Bananas & ??? : THIS LITERALLY COULD BE ANYBODY. I’m hoping its sarah so he can break his curse and retire because honestly no one can touch his record unless Landon came out of retirement or if production doesn’t keep fucking over darrell

Joss & Sylvia the sheep; Joss is Hot , and he voted sheep into the elimination and she got mad. damn well knowing she would’ve done the same thing. they do great.

Kam & Melissa; I love this team, this “rivalry” started over a misunderstanding I’m hoping they do well...

Natalie & Paulie; I don’t care enough to waste my time

Nelson & Shane; I’m actually started to like nelson, my dislike for him comes from my loyalty to tyler.. I love shane he is the sassy gay bff that I need in my life. This team will do well if nelson and shane both keep themselves in check

Mama Day & Jozea; I’ve never watched big brother but this team is by far my favorite big brother pairing, I follow both on twitter and they make me laugh daily. underdogs i stan

Britni & Chuck; The hotmess express team. Clearly still feelings there, chuck sucks for what he did to her, they will need to find a way to get past their issues

Jenna & Jemmeye; One of the best moves in challenge history caused this feud. they will do well, jemmeyes brain and jennas brawn.

Kailah & Kayleigh; Failah likes to bully others kayleigh was her victim last season. they’ll probably be out pretty early..

Now to the results of the challenge

Amanda and Zach won.

I’m not to sure about the rest of the order except for the fact Day & Jozea came in last but before jem & Jenna and Chuck & britni.

it was chucks fault him and brit lost 

it was jennas fault her and jem lost

but was anyone really in shock

So then we hear bananas yelling for help since his partner left due to family emergency everyone goes digs him up and if it was up to me he wouldve been sent “home” and not brit and chuck since they almost beat day and jozea.. after they get bananas hoe ass out tj announces that amanda and zach are able to send another team home! And out of all the teams these two dumb asses pick day and jozea. like uhm helllooooooo!!! ya’ll deadass had the chance to send send strong teams home... I can’t the stupidity of these two i can’t. SO  then the three teams leave and “go home”. Everyone goes to the house and already a fight breaks out between shane and angela, over a fucking shelf. Homegirl didn’t have the energy with shane like she did with Alicia , but we already knew she was a fraud. Then cut to outside where Joss and amanda are already flirting with each other. I will give credit is due, Amanda is a beautiful girl but has a very ugly soul and joss is very smart to hookup with her, camera time is everything and why not hook up with one of the most dramatic cast members ever. Cut to Syliva saying this could go great for her alliance or terribly for her alliance at least shes smart. The Que the amanda and joss makeout session. Then we cut to bananas cara and hair plugs talking about cara and kyle. Everything out of kyles mouth is a lie and garbage. Kyle states hes gonna sleep with other people and caras like cool whatever . The cut to faith and hairplugs making out, then faith gets into hottub and johnny being johnny brings it up in front of cara, and cara pulls a queen move by being like if he doesnt want me im not gonna wait around. boy bye best choice shes ever made. Then baby girl proceeded to go into a room and make herself look bad by trying to get at paulie. Like oh no baby what is you doing go to sleep and leave him alone..

Then we cut to the best part of the night in my opinion, first we see melissa walk in and try to be civil with kailah, failah wants zero part in it but melissa still tries because melissa wants to be nice then failah pushes melissa and melissa molly whopped her then they were pulled apart 

Everyone but kailah stans on twitter 

Then the teams who were “sent home” arrive at the redemption house and tj explains some shit i wasn’t paying attention because i didnt care at that point 

Then they go to the photoshoot day and Tj shows up which is never good..

Tells melissa and kailah they are both out ..

Now we dont know kam and kayleighs fate, we find out next week..

Over all this episode was awesome , the cliffhanger was needed , we had a fight some hook ups and a twist.

this season will be interesting to say the least. 

#mtv the challenge #final reckoning

[himenation]

MONSTA X 2ND WORLDTOUR IN AMSTERDAM (LIVE REPORT) - AFAS 20.06.2018

This is a long live report containing things how I even became a fan, to the AMAAAAAZING (not) queue, setlist, live, m&g and random moments. All fan cams and fanpics are uploaded on my twitter which I linked in this post too!

I went to Monsta X’s 2nd Worldtour in Amsterdam this month! I started to get to know Monsta X during their Beautiful promotions and when I heard they would come to Europe the first time (in 2017), I was doubting whether I should go or not. I knew like 10 songs and another fan could go instead of me. It was not close anyway, so I decided to take part in the campaign for Amsterdam. For people who don’t know MMT. MMT is a fan dedicated promoter, in which you can request an artist to come to your city and if you have enough ‘makes’ (so points) they’ll talk with the artist. 

Anyways, I took part in the campaign in august 2017. Uni was about to start and I kinda forgot about the lives for a while. Until it was around the DRAMARAMA period (and their first win omg!), I followed them again; so after their MBC performance, I got a text message from MMT that they’re starting to talk to MONSTA X. At this point I would give this presale code to somebody else, but I didn't know when the actual concert was supposed to be so I waited. So while I was waiting for their JEALOUSY comeback, I started to watch their shows because I was bored and I LITERALLY FELL INTO THE FANDOM (and not just the music). I loved these guys so much? They were so precious and funny. I really wanted to see them live and regretted not going to the Beautiful Tour. So for their Jealousy comeback, I even bought The Connect; I texted every time they had a show and streamed their MVs so they could win another win (and they did!) (I've only done this for BTS before). So just around the time of the MV release, they announced they would be coming to AMSTERDAM. I was so happy. Flash forward to the ticket sale: I went to uni early, had a computer; laptop and my phone ready and immediately bought 2x VIP tickets!!

After counting down the days to the concert, I was finally here. I couldn't wait to hear Destroyer and Lost In the Dream live (My fav songs of the new album). Fans were allowed to queue from 11, but no-one seemed to listen to it :’) Every standing type had to get a wristband (VIP included). So I was kinda late and arrived at 12 , but my wristband number was 139. I quickly had sushi with my sister at ICHI-e and went to Starbucks (and a grocery store) to get some food and drinks for the queue. Just when we were about to leave the restaurant, I got a message from MMT that they messed up the wristband numbers for VIP and it was now FCFS (First Come first Serve). It was also the hottest day of the week, yippie :’)

Queue The queue was one big mess... Fans were incredibly rude and mean and staff didn’t do anything about it either. Girls were screaming at the security and talking very rudely, fans saying to each other ‘shut the fuck up and sit the fuck down’ (this is an actual phrase someone was screaming behind me). The venue staff gave us WATER IN A BUCKET and it wasn't until a monsta x staff came and gave everyone bottles. I also met two very sweet fansites! They gave out free stuff and were overall very sweet! They talked a lot to us and were next to us in the queue. We also met two friends who wanted to go to their friends, but since people were rude; my sis stopped them and they were next to us. Even though we were strangers, me and my sis shared our food and drinks with them. During the queue certain people started to push fans and we told them to stop and they started to fight with us??? and basically telling us ‘are you blind’ :)) (also they thought the fansites were Korean so they were all nice to them but shitty to other people, but the fansites turned out to be Chinese so these rude koreaboos were really boo boo the fools) at around 18:00 we were allowed to go inside but everyone started pushing each other so we were really stuck and could barely breathe. Once we were inside we had to wait another 2 hours and I was so tired, but wow I was 4th row!  Live I also made a big thread of Monsta X on my twitter. Fancams Fanpics Okay first of all, this group has no visual hole. THEY ARE ALL SO VISUALS I COULDNT BELIEVE MY EYES. Honestly they're so beautiful irl??????? Although I knew they were all handsome, I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw IM, Kihyun, Shownu and Hyungwon DAMN. 

The live was amazing, they kept playing DRAMARAMA, SHINE FOREVER and STUCK in the venue and we were so hyped! Once the live started; they all came in Swaroski Suits (they looked so expensive) singing Jealousy. The fan chants (at least in the VIP) were A M A Z I N G.  AAHHH I finally saw monsta x im sobbing. They then played Be Quiet (it’s one of my fav older songs) ;; and BEAUTIFUL IN SWAROSKI SUITS GUYSSSSSS. They didn't do the jacket dance since, yeah the jackets were pretty expensive HAHAHAH. Too bad.. They then had a long MC and started with Gravity and Tropical night (still wearing the suits). After changing their clothes (some kind of harness?)  they sung Crazy In love (finally a full version) and All In. The crowd really loved All In!!!!!!!! Then we had 20 minutes of solo stuff; the solo of Wonho, Minhyuk and Kihyun were my absolute favourite! It was so cute. The other solo’s were really good too!! The crowd died at Hyungwons and IMs solo though.  AAAAAAAAAAAAAH AFTER SOLO they sung From Zero (Seven member version) and oh my god Wonho looked so beautiful??? This song is so cute?? I can't remember much of Because of You im sorry ;; White love was really emotional, they didn't expect the banner project (1000days with monbebe) at all and really loved it. Rollercoaster was so cute live as well, they all pretended to sit in a rollercoaster lol. After they went off stage, the destroyer MV played AND I SCREAMED SO LOUD I WAS NOT READY, NO ONE WAS READY NO ONE! LITERALLY IM DEAD. But they bloody sung LOST IN THE DREAM and I was really lost in the dream, wow....... The vocals..... wow.. Im........................... it was so beautiful live. Guys, ive heard Kihyuns iconic high note (well a lot of people shouted OOOOFFFF BUT I STILL HEARD ONE OF MY FAV SONG I! CANT! BELIEVE!). Also very random to mention but Jooheon is one hell of a good performer, he was not even nervous and the stage was HIS BITCH, his rap and his stage aura are so mind-blowing.

I always joked they should play lost in the dream and destroyer after each other to let the fans die but they really did IT! The choreo of Destroyer was so good and fitted the song. In the beginning Wonho waved and gave a finger heart though... I was never a fan of Shine Forever, but It was so nice and also doing the fan chants! Rush is a song I used to skip but ooof, it was also very nice to hear. Monsta X really enjoyed singing Special too AND YESSSSSSSS FINALLYYYYYYY TRESPASS THE WHOLE CROWD WAS SO LIT WE ALL RAPPED ALONG AND IT WAS HONESTLY ONE OF THE BEST PERFORMANCES SO FAR IDGJKDSGS. They all positioned to the Dramarama pose and yes they did Dramarama!!!! but now the concert was about to end too :( Monsta X said they love Falling, Ive heard people say they love performing Falling and yes they REALLY LOVE FALLING. My heart was so full of uwu when I saw them performing falling, I love these babies so much :’). We showed them the banners during If Only again and Wonho, Minhyuk and Kihyun were really emotional and it was so sad to see this ending :( But I was about to meet these guys as well AAAAAAHHH. I dont know if it was Minhyuk or IM but one of them took of Wonho’s shirt lol and he threw it in a crowd. Before that they also took a group pic ;; tbh I wished they did Stuck and Hero as well, but overall I really loved the setlist so much.

Meet and greet Order: Wonho - Shownu - Kihyun - Minhyuk - Hyungwon - Jooheon - IM Usually when fans meet artist, fans are the ones talking to the artist but now Monsta X was rather talking to the fans, they were so sweet and they all had the most genuine and sweetest smile ever. The M&G was unfortunately very fast and I could only say  Wonho: I think he was still very sad and looked like he cried too but his hands are so soft ;; I thanked him and he nodded and gave a thumbs up lol Shownu: I knew it was his birthday in London so I told him a happy belated birthday ;; and he said thank you as well! Kihyun: ok, I may have said I love you instead of thank you AHHGHGHHGHAHAHG and yeah that was kihyuns reaction too he laughed and said thank you lol Minhyuk: He said thank you very much!! NO THANK YOUUU (while smiling so sweet) Hyungwon: Somehow he was very giggly but we both said thank you to each other!! Jooheon: We both said thank you to each other aaaaaahh IM: Since I barely had time (after hyungwon) I just told him thank you and he said the same ;; We then got a poster from the tour and the show was unforunately over :(( MMT announced a week before the concert there would be no merch so I didn't have a lightstick either so it was nice having a poster as a reminder (and the fans we got from the fansites ofc). Setlist (duration 2,5hours) 1. Jealousy 2. Be Quiet 3. Beautiful -- 4. Gravity 5. Tropical Night -- 6. Crazy in Love 7. All in -- 8. Wonho, Minhyuk, Kihyun - Neol Hada 9. Jooheon, Shownu - Versace on the Floor 10. Hyungwon, IM - Fake Love (Drake) 11. Hyungwon, IM - How long // another IM solo (not sure) -- 12. From Zero 13. Because of you 14. White Love 15. Rollercoaster -- 16. Lost in the dream -- 17. Destroyer 18. Shine forever -- 19. Rush 20. Special 21. Trespass -- 22. Dramarama *ENCORE* 23. Falling -- 24. If Only *Group pic*

Random moments -  They talked a lot of Dutch such as ‘I am...’, ‘I love you’, ‘I miss you’, ‘Fries with Mayo’. IM also wanted to say Sexy but he didn’t say Sexy and Jooheon said to erase our minds LMAO KSJKD he was so embarassed - In the beginning when Kihyun was talking about Hyungwon, Hyungwon looked at him and he kinda slapped away his face (Kihyun to Hyungwon) - Just before Crazy in Love, the group was devided into two to talk with fans (one group was changing their clothes) and Jooheon was doing a weird movement with his hand and was saying AY AY AY and the fans said it too, but then the other group came (Kihyun, Shownu, Hyungwon and Minhyuk) and they all looked honestly so confused and Kihyun was like ‘AY go change your clothes now’ and then Kihyun and Hyungwon were showing off their dance moves lol - Also during the live I started as the fourth row, but people behind me kept pushing and I was suddenly 2nd row and there is a higher place for the first row so my knees kept going on that and it hurted so much lmao - Shownu, IM and Jooheon went to Beyonce the day before and talked about how amazing it was (lmao fanboying on their own concert KAJDKSFJFS) and they also said we will make it possible for them to perform there one day ;;A;; - The day of the Amsterdam concert would be 1000 days with Monbebe we would show during If Only, but since London got cut off we weren't sure whether we would hear If Only and decided to do it during White Love. - Wonho, Minhyuk and Kihyun got teary at If Only - Their reactions to White love were so sweet :((  - Our group hyped up every member whenever they were close to us. Hyungwon, Kihyun and Wonho noticed us a lot lol. Hyungwon waved at us too ;; - During FALLING Kihyun was drinking water and then he came to our side and you could see in his face he was about to do something and when the beat dropped he threw WATER ON US and I got so wet :((((( the fan next to me, her fan was all wet lmao.  - I got a lot of confetti in my face :’)  

#monsta x #monstax #2nd worldtour #the connect #monsta x 2nd worldtour #afas live #amsterdam #livereport #live report #shownu #wonho #minhyuk #kihyun #hyungwon #jooheon #im #changkyun

[pappycat89]

and the saga of semi-weird dreams continues!

So i feel i should preface this with the fact that i rarely remember my dreams for more then a few hours after waking up, but the last week or so ive been remembering them for like a day and a half so thats weird

anyways, this one started with me, my family and a bunch of my friends heading for a party. It was Pink themed, so we all had to wear something that was hot pink, and i had found this really nice top while op-shopping that fit and was the right colour. It was a weird cut top, like a very feminine neckline but also like jacket tails and these weird sleeves. anyway, i decided to wear a skirt with it because even though i knew my family would be weird about it i had my friends so fuck it.

Anyway, we get to the party, which was being held in the student accommodation from an old university i went to, but the buildings had been re-arranged. Anyway, there were a bunch of tables with food and cake and games to play, and people had split into their own smaller groups. I wandered away to get some air (cos i sometimes get overwhelmed at parties and need some alone time) and was walking through some trees behind one of the buildings when someone yelled out to me, and started pointing a flashlight at me. I instantly knew they were hunting me and i had to run, but i was a lot further into the trees then i thought and they were gaining on me.

Just before they managed to catch up i burst out of the trees and back into the party. My mum started to yell at me about where i had run off to, and my 3 year old niece came running up and demanded to be picked up, so i did. She was then suddenly a baby born doll that needed its diaper changed, so i told my sister and my niece (who was still a doll) started yelling "poo bum poo bum" over and over. My sister started getting angry at me for not changing her diaper, and i started getting annoyed at her because i had no idea where the diapers were, and she ended up snatching my niece away and huffing off to do it herself.

Then, as dreams are want to do sometimes, the scene changed. It was after the party now, and my friends and i decided to go out. We were talking like we were gonna go party at a club, but the plan was to find a nice coffee shop/karaoke bar and just chill out for a bit. While walking along, we got stopped by this huge brick wall of a man. He grabbed my wrist and squeezed, saying some very rude things to all of us but in like this weirdly sweet customer service voice. Anyways, we tried to get him to let go, but none of us could, until one of my friends grabbed this guy just above his collar bone and squeezed so had we could hear the bone snap. The big guy ran off, and we were in shock, until my friend grabbed a nearby handrailing and squeezed, crushing it in his hand and we all started nodding like "oh yeah, we forgot you had super strength lol"

Another scene change, and we're now in a department store. Theres hordes of people running around and the whole place is getting really hectic. Our group got split up, and i was left with the same friend who had super strength. We were wandering and chatting, looking for the others, when a large group of people came running down the aisle ahead of us. I grabbed my friend and we dodged out of the way but kinda got knocked over. I sat up, and he was sideways in my lap. We laughed about the hordes, and checked to make sure we weren't hurt. He made a joke (i honestly dont remember what it was) but i laughed and did like that cat headbutt thing into his chest. I looked up at him, still giggling, and he looked down at me and said something along the lines of "if you're thinking what im thinking then do it" (he didnt actually say anything, it was like a bunch of thoughts and feelings all at once but the basic message of it was undeniably "yes, i would like this to happen") anywhos, we kissed, and it was really nice, and then an alarm started playing over the speakers to evacuate the store but it turned out to be my actual alarm and i woke up

So yeah, i have some weird dreams. well, not all weird. like i get what some of it meant. you know, like kissing people im interested in, and my family getting annoyed at minor things and then not listening to me. but the rest is weird Not sure why im sharing them here, but i figure i might as well if they're gonna be stuck in my head all day. besides, maybe if i keep this up my brain will write my D&D campaign for my while i sleep

(also im not naming people in the dream because i dont want to embarass anyone should they see this)

#personal #more dream stuff #i dunno why i keep posting about them but yeah #bens dream tag