#im literally so tired of myself

[cacaocheri]

little doodle i did for myself bc when i got home i was so fucking drained

#ive just been doing a lot of socializing and when my battery crashes it CRASHES i need to be quiet for like an hour straight doing nothing #the thing is i still like to spend time with people #my point is if i had sun irl and my battery crashed i would just cuddle with him but like. silent #and it would be soooo nice #i just want to spend time with someone silently and they know i enjoy their presence #wait holy shit i just realized i did so much today #no wonder im so tired #dude i was literally gaslighting myself out of my tiredness #i completely fucking forgot today was waayyy longer than it was #i was like socially tired at 3pm but then i kept talking to people and now it is 11pm #man #im so funny #anyway #my art #security breach #sun fnaf #fnaf sun #sundrop #sundrop fnaf #the daycare attendant #dca fandom #charlie daydreamers

[rapidhighway]

#okay sorry for venting but i’ve been processing that session for months #like im the one who fucked up that session because i couldnt make myself say anything and actually naming any problem i have #felt like im begging to have a bunch of excuses #and god that paychologist really made me feel like i imagined all of that for attention and now im back here again and im once again #realizing my brain is just fucked up and what do i do now because if i went to a session now #i would be in the same situation where i can’t say anything that actually bothers me #so i guess im in deep shit forever or at least until i stop having some fucking mental block or whatever #im just fucking tired bro……. #she told me everyone is a little bit autsitic and that’s it WHAT #bro if i had little enough symptoms of whatever that i could do stuff by myself anyway i wouldnt fucking be ghere paying 200zł for the most #ruining hours of my life thank you so much. #instead i have to use everyone in my life as a crutch because i literally just can’t function without help IUOUOUGHHH #god im so sorry okay im gone im just really going through it rn #vent

[thejuicedbox]

Loser girls <3

Idk I feel like all of their faces have kind of drifted into looking more similar in my art recently so I'm trying to practice faces and push their feachures a little more

#doki doki literature club #ddlc #ddlc yuri #ddlc monika #ddlc natsuki #ddlc sayori #will i ever make full refs for my blorbos when literally all it will do is help myself draw them how i want? fuck no apparently #moika still looks weird but ive been messing with her face for like 2 weeks im so tired of these drawings

[y-vna]

Ty for 400!

It may be 1:30am, but honestly, I just felt like I wanted to write this. Thank you for 400 followers!! That's crazy. I'm super thankful, and honestly, it means a lot to me! <3 super excited for more to come, I hope my moodboards rn are up to standards!

I'm not tagging anyone this time since I don't want to disturb everyone every time I write one of these. Just know all my mooties and idols r amazing, and I love them. You guys know who you are, ily 💕

Just a boring text post for this milestone post cuz I can't be bothered rn ahh

Teeny Itty bitty vent in tags since I can't get my life tghtr rn erm! Don't feel pressured to read it, idrc ig?? 😭😭

#lil vent i will most def regret in the morning #im not quitting just tired ig? social media and my lack of motivation r just dragging me thru the mud brutally and thats why im slow postin #i literally cannot handle seeing pepple from discord that despise me from when i used to gossip and a bunch of stuff on there #im gonna prob delete the song req stuff in my inbox. im so done w it. js like the event prizes #i want to still provide the full prizes #but its so much work and im unmotivated so ill do it eventually :( #i dont rlly think ill makr an event anyrime soon cuz it kind sucks aaahh #my moots nd friends on here the only reason i havent quit bc im burnt out by myself i only live off the interactions i have on here #i dont know what else to say i just wanna like forget any accounts on anywhere from me every existed cuz im not a good decision maker at al #i'll be normal in the morning probably hahaaha #tysm for the support anyway

[clambuoyance]

I’ve never been so obsessed with a character so bad that I literally can’t do anything else I’m like the squidward meme watching SpongeBob frolic outside the window stretching a hand out to all the pretty paintings and animations and comics I see in my head but being unable to feel any motivation for it . If only i could use the energy spent to create 20 kon doodles to sit down and concentrate on a single finished full piece I used to be able to make like 5 page comics what happened to me

#sighs yes before anyone says anything IK it’s probably adhd related 😭 #BUT ITS GOTTEN SO BAD I CAN FEEL THE DIFFERENCE IN MY BRAIN HOW DID IT GET WORSE #it’s probably a mix of burnout too but I don’t get tired of drawing ? #it feels like when u get dizzy or change glasses or so #and it’s either everything is wayyy too in focus and you can see literally everything clearly that it hurts ur brain #which doesn’t help given how saturated w information the world is always #and simultaneously somehow everything is blurry or out of focus and I physically have to strain myself to hone in on one thing #I JUST WANNA READ COMICS AND FINISH A DRAWING AND HANDLE WORK AND SCHOOL AND TALK TO MY FRIENDS #ALL IN OME DAY #BUT MY BRAIN IS LIKE. TODAY IS ONLY FOR COMICS. YOU CANT DO ANYTHING ESLE #😫🫶 I’m deleting this later I’m just ranting LMAO #I’m highschool it’s crazy bc I did okay and then honestly i just think my ability to concentrate has deteriorated as the years have gone by #free me!!! #either way I want to lessen my social media and just pick One bc girl I have an Instagram a tumblr and a twitter this is horrible for me . #honestly I’ll probably pick instagram and just post on tumblr when I have art #I already do that #I mean when I have Good art. #IM RAMBLING IDK

[gothmiqote]

#ffxiv #ff14 #final fantasy xiv #zenos yae galvus #had to get my seasonal tires swapped today & remembered the 'i bet the drunk driving scene in garlemald fucks' post again #realized its entirely plausible zenos can Also drive #idk if he would be good or not but i know he never touches his blinker #anyway i need to know what the masses think. #myself? i theoretically CAN parallel park but literally haven't done so since i finished the drivers exam and refuse to do it now lmfao #ill walk idc theres no Way im trapping myself like that. doubt zenos would have that type of anxiety fgdhs

[stardust-vi]

Dumb ramble but I hate that you can't critique The Thing you love within a fandom space without some dude breathing down your neck like "Well actually that means you hate The Author and The Thing! And what about all the times The Author did this Good Thing? Checkmate, liberal." as if you can't be critical of something because you love it and want it to be better.

#just. i'm in a rush rn so i'm probably not articulating myself well and i could go more in-depth with my thoughts #at the risk of someone spinning my words into “cringe blue hair pronoun wants to cancel araki!” which... will happen inevitably #even though i don't know how many times i can repeat “i do not hate araki #this is specifcally about jjba btw because like. #look i love it and araki has done some good things (or at least had good intentions in most cases) #but i'm so over the fact he constantly has to reach for some form of traumatizing women in his writing #and I already hear “well it shows they're a villain!” #but does he HAVE to use assault? why does he have to use that instead of demonstrating their villainy in other ways #that don't need to use it as a crutch #i'm not even saying you can't ever write about assault #that's not my argument either. #I'm not even accusing him of being a bad writer or person but just. Can we please retire the overusage of assault for shock value? #i obviously don't hate people who enjoy the series regardless #i'd be a massive fucking hypocrite #i mean i've literally been in this damn fandom for 6 years and just now decided to post my art. #but i'm tired of any time someone brings up legit criticisms of the misogyny in his writing #it's met with “but araki did this-” like it changes anything. #i'm glad he did somewhat improve writing women over time compared to the earlier parts #that said. that doesn't cancel out the blunders he did make or will make in the future #even if he has good intent. #or really any criticism of the writing being hit with “but its not supposed to make sense #anyways rant over. probably going to delete later bc im tired. #tw assault #assault tw

[cathalbravecog]

i'm the antonymph of the internet

#how many tributes to this song will i make in my life #MANY ! it literally changed my life and means a lot to me. i love antonymph and vylet pony's music is worth checking out - please do. #unsupervised internet access as a queer neurodivergent kid anthem !! #i chose to do misty since we all know i like drawing her in experimental pieces and putting her in outfits. she also has art in a gir hoodi #from the clash team in treasure trove!! :D #this is also experimental/stylistic as well!! had fun!! nice to just draw something in one day and not worry. leaves me tired but... #haven't done a nice piece like so in one day in a while!!! i'm very proud :] it's a fun one #anyways... both a little tribute to the song and misty as a character #ihave so many thoughts about misty even if i dont talk publicly on them. shes a very interesting character to me and i care about her so #much. i compared her to fluttershy in the past - and realized that if i liked ttcc as a kid she would've been my favorite. #fluttershy on her own meant a lot to me as a child. including mlp itself as it's one of the core things that got me into drawing art online #a lot of my analysis on misty and headcanons at least on the more emotional scale do come from a bit of projecting but...it makes it more #fun to me when i can put myself into the shoes of a character like her who i already relate to. rrghh too bad im scared to talk about her #too much in nuanced detail in public since some people are... not so nice about her. though i know the tumblr audience is nice and unders #standing!! #anyways from me just having fun being me #i let misty have a little bit of fun... something i think she would possibly enjoy? i do see her as someone who gets nostalgic #and is stuck in more childish things and matters. she wants to play ip dip with you...its very sweet to me. letting myself and her be #confident through a song that means so much to me is kind of powerful to me. i had a lot of fun making this drawing. #anyways. love this song. love ttcc. love mity /p. be swag and be self indulgent and have fun. you can do anything u want forevah #toontown #toontown corporate clash #antonymph #guz art #rainmaker

[radmista]

Sowing seeds of discontent and disharmony by hanging up on my parents birthday phone call the second my mom asked if I gained weight. Hope that sits badly on their minds while they think about how that's the first call I've engaged with them in 2 months and it was for the dogs birthday. Dad scrambling to text me for my mom that she didn't mean it. Like fuck I told her I've been having a rough month and day. She couldn't keep it to herself that badly. Fucks sake

#was already not in a great place mentally but i entertained the call and was actually feeling okay talking to them giving them an update #she just hits me with that. and I'm not normally sensitive about my weight even when my mom harped on me for gaining some a few years back #i genuinely normally don't care bc I'm happy with myself. but i know ive lost weight because I've been on icu and we don't have time to eat #im so fucking mad and im even more mad I'm crying about it #bc what the fuck #i was actually feeling like momentarily safe talking to them and being vulnerable about working on my next life stages #and she just ruined the call. i wanted to talk to my mom and dad more. i do miss talking to them about some things. #i was happy to get to see my family all together even if it was for the dogs birthday. and people were smiling and shit #and ik theyre gonna say i ruined it by being sensitive but jfc #it was literally the 2nd thing my mom said to me on the call after we sang happy birthday #why couldn't she just shut up. why couldn't she have said anything else. why did i let it bother me so much i hung up #I'm just fucking tired and sad and now feeling even lonlier than ever #i just wanted a nice moment with my family god fucking damn is that too hard to ask for #and im even more angry and sad now that i cant call them back bc my mom will get on me about smth else we were previously talking about #that phone call was supposed to be a neutral zone just for the birthday song. and i was going to ride it out but fucking hell #why didnt i just put up with it so i could have talked to my family #and no calling them back isnt an option. they haven't apologized and it would be an un neutral call #which gives them space to harass me about work and shit

[twilightarcade]

oc-tober day 27 - monster!

#notwordswordstag #anyways we're so fucking back. Sorry for missing literally a third of the month goodlord #bweirdOCtober #oc-tober #ok idk what i want as a caption all significant thoughts are going into tags today #we missed friends week because of That. Luckily every week is friends week when I'm around #doing that.. hopefully this week? That said it /is/ halloween so it might leak over #anyways monster au.so funny 2 me like what if everything was the exact same except they we freaky little creatures #wouldn't that be fun. The answer is yes. I am having fun #maaaan i was supposed 2 draw something else I think. Here we are anywyas #didn't think about it too much #erm.. in terms of life news? may pick up the saxophone. For like 2 seconds. #or i'll teach myself piano that would be fun (and relatively easy given. Piano) #who knows. Maybe we'll do nothing. #but what if i'm REALLY good at sax. What if it's actually my true calling. Clearly not a flute player. #Man I hate the flute #ok im tired besties bye 4ever 🫶🫶🫶🫶

[leofrith]

ooooooh my god i need some fucking joy i need some fucking joy NOW

#literally nothing is bringing me enjoyment right now NOTHINGGGG #(yes i know its the depression. whatever.) #i havent played bg in like three weeks. not even enjoying that anymore either #and i CANT FUCKING WRITE!!!!! #I'm so exhausted all the time I'm so bored I'm so lonely #and yeah I'm reading more lately which is great but I'm hardly enjoying myself I just #im so fucking bored im sick of killing myself to complete job applications just to hear nothing back im so. so tired #whatever!!!!! life sucks and then you die #pretty sure my birth control is gonna kill me anyway so whooo caresssss #idk what this post is about #tbd

[rosesraeken]

hmm is it the autism, possible bpd, trauma? or is it all just trauma? maybe it’s just bpd and trauma? could just be autism and trauma? maybe it’s the dreaded hell of all of them at once?

the world may never know 😒

#or am i just constantly reducing myself to tears bc of overthinking idk #im literally so tired #autism #bpd #autistic #actually autistic #trauma #personal post

[original-punks]

shower pls fix me

#i literally slept so fucking early #and that sleep wasnt fulfilling #all i want to do is sleep #but the reoccurring nightmares are going extra hard lately #i wanna wake up surprised i had fallen asleep #instead of waking up tired as fucking ever #even if i deprive myself of a couple of days to force myself to “sleep” it just turns into extremely vivid nightmares #the only time i can sleep soundly is if i'm smashed #fuck hangovers #im a fucking waste #do i ever not complain wtf #txt.mine

[maimedaffair]

me at 12 : i have to go to bed to be a reasonable human adult !! me at 3am : i just think that its silly to sleep when i can write smut.

#dude with the amount of medications i take to sleep u would think id have no issues #anyway im writing to make myself tired and its !! kind of working idk ansdjf #tiktok wasnt working (shocking) and i havent started a new book series yet. so. #i am literally no help moving furniture bc of my disabilities so its fiiiiiine my roomies dont need me for anything more than moral support

[imabiscuitinthousandworlds]

crippling anxiety hours let's go

#a biscuit's rambles #theres a presentation due tomorrow we did Not prepare #and my partner is super anxious and the type to Need Perfect Grades #and she had a question and tried to call me several times and i saw too late and texted i was here now but then stupid whatsapp didnt tell #me when she called again so now i feel horrible #and honestly this presentation can go fuck itself i literally could not care less #im trying to do at least the tiniest minimum of Something for my friend but gosh. i do Not want to #just can't bloody get myself to do anything #doesn't help that i Know shell handle it because. she cant not without getting Way Too Stressed Out #i dont wanna leave her hanging with all the work like that but gosh im so tired #i just. cant. idk #on the bright side i did listen to a couple more tma episodes so thats something i suppose that was fun #........... i really need to do less stuff #i dont have a single free weekend for all of april and the beginning of may #goodbye emotional stability it was so nice to have known you even if for just a short while

[cncbb]

if one more person tells me I'm mature for my age I'm killing myself and then I'll be dead for my age instead

#not literally but like #i am SICK of this fucking shit #if im so “mature” then why cant i let myself date with significant age gaps? #oh that's right #because my frontal lobe is still developing #no matter how many ppl tell me “i thought u were like 27” #like yeah im WORKING on it #give me six years #also #i wanna be taken seriously amd no one takes you seriously when youre younger than absolutely everyone #im tired of it #autistic 20y/o bf who did i mention should be 20 and age appropriate WHEN #i just wanna be held #well #and diagnosed