#im not actually upset this is just so fuckin stupid its funny

[labratboygirl]

🖊️ren ‼️‼️‼️‼️

YEEEEAAAAAHHHH BABYYYYYYYY ITS RENNIN TIME‼️‼️‼️‼️ seeing all the mutuals rb that one post withthe gore art of him made me realize how many of my mutuals dont know him ……….so now i get 2 explain ren lore 2 all the new enjoyers of him ^_^_^_^ yaaaayyyyy

SO BASICALLY for the first like 16 years of his life he was just Some Guy .tmasc insect lover with a dogshit home life that hed always SOMEHOW manage to survive .very very suicidal and self deprecating ((HEY hey stop that :o( )) but he was able to keep it together for a while because of his Cool And Awesome bf devyn :o)) yaaayyy ((ihavent made a design for him yet .but i will eventually))

BUT HEEERRREEESS THE KICKER .i havent figured out how yet but devyn fuckingdies . and as expected ren finally loses his shit and uhhhhhh does the thing thats shown in that gore art

heres where shit gets Stupid ………a few hundred years in the future after some magic bs happens to the human race he comes back from the grave as that Blue Ghost Thang ((this guy)) and manages to become this fuckin .harbinger of doom because hes just THAT upset at the universe . most of his bullshit involves possessing people and making them do unspeakable things

and devyn actually becomes the opposite of that !!!!!! he becomes this Funky Purple Angel named divvi ((purpleboy in this pic)) who lives inside an amulet and becomes the guardian angel of whoever wears that amulet .swag as hell

and after a toooonnnn of bullshit involving ren possessing abunch of different people and becoming like .the ultimate lifeform at one point ((doesnt last long tho like at all)) one of the people he possessed ((named hiro , this guy)) ends up being like . very forgiving towards him and resurrects him . HOWEVER hiro isnt really that skilled in the field of resurrection so he doesnt come back to life unscathed . he kinda just becomes a goofy zombie boy ((this guy))

ren and devyn/divvi DO end up reuniting btw :o)))) the last person who had the amulet passes it down to ren so they can talk and be cute togehter again ^_^^_^_^ but its a mortal/immortal relationship so theyre still kinda like . doomed by the narrative .but hey

THERES ACTUALLY SOMETHING REEEEAAALLLYYY FUCKING FUNNY ABOUT THIS ENTIRE STORY THAT ONLY A SPECIFIC MUTUAL CIRCLE KNOWS ABOUT . but im not gonna say it . im gonna commit to the bit here

#HOLY FUCK I DID NOOOOOTTTT MEAN TO WRITE THIS MUCH . HELLO EVERYONE #ren 🪞 #divvi 🔮 #hiro 🪽 #<- new hiro tag yaaaayyyyy #long post #*shitty bitcrushed voice* youve got mail!!

[nagdabbit]

What season of Dimension 20 should a noob start with I want to understand what the FUCK you're talking about

oooooooo yes, welcome, come on in, were all fucking weird here!

get ready to have Extreme Feelings about one (1) loud, white man

but also, you can kinda start wherever you want? i haven't even watch every single season, anyway. here's the seasons, out of airing order, probably

fantasy high - the original, the og. teens in fantasy high school, having hijinks and saving the world. honestly, if there's like an established place to start, this is it. there's a second season, and a couple of live shows that are so fucking fun. griffin mcelroy's live ep is fucking WILD, i love ficus

pirates of leviathan - fantasy high adjacent, post fh season 2. i didn't actually finish this one. i dont remember why. i dont super have a strong attachment to fh season 2, so the setting for this one just didn't interest me, but it's pirates having hijinks on a floating pirate city

unsleeping city 1 & 2 - urban fantasy weirdness, urban fantasy fun times. the magical world that lives beneath and alongside the new york we all know. like fables, maybe, but more fantasy archetypes than folklore. really fun, really enjoyable, i have no memory of season two but i know i watched it

the seven - another fh spinoff, but a little more tied into the first season. a fantasy party of all the people they spent season one trying to save. it is SO FUCKING FUNNY, and SO FUCKING GAMEPLAY CRUNCHY, and I CRIED SO FUCKING HARD. need some emotional healing? exquisite. i miiiight suggest watching fh first, just to understand who they are, but also you don't *need* to

tiny heist - borrowers and fairies and thug bugs and living toys, trying to run a heist. so goddamn fun. highly, highly recommend. i love a fuckin heist. its the mcelroy family season, so if you like them you can look forward to that. just mcelroy is just. he's fucking batshit.

a crown of candy - game of thrones ass campaign, but the characters and kingdoms are all based on the different food groups. for real and honest, this season didn't hit me and i didn't finish it. but i do enjoy compilations of it on youtube

the ravening war - crown of candy spin off. i also didn't watch this at all, but it has cr's matt mercer as the guest gm, and im sure he's a great guy and all, but i just don't vibe with his dm style. deffo the least amount of levity of all the seasons, i think

mice & murder - a sherlock holmes, agatha christie ass murder mystery where everyone is in the house trying to solve the murder. also everyone is woodland creatures. another highly recommend if you're into murder mysteries like that

escape from the bloodkeep - what if lotr was told from the baddies pov. it's so stupid, so silly, so much fun. highly recommend

shriek week - monsters on their final week of college. despite my love of guest gm, gabe hicks, this season just Did Not Hit Me. not even ify nwadiwe could hold me

misfits and magic - hogwarts ass magic school for little wizards, but without the transphobia and racism. need some kids upsetting an unjust society based on classism? this for you. so, so good! guest gm aabria iyengar, she fucking knocks it out of the park. there's also a christmas episodes and a live show with a different cast

a starstruck odyssey - did you know that brennan lee mulligans mom elaine wrote the comic starstruck? this season is based on the comic and its very fucking fun! scifi shenanigans out the ass

neverafter - horror themed season, about macabre fairytale characters and the enduring nature of stories. it took me a bit to get into this season, but it's so good! you gotta like horror, tho. that's important to remember. it's a dark season

coffin run - draculas followers try to get an injured dracula back to the castle before his enemies catch up. sooooooo so so fucking funny, one of my favorite seasons. guest gm jasmine bhullar kills it. absolutely unfuckinghinged season

a court of fey and flowers - EASILY my favorite, second favorite season. aabria is back, the fey are having a party, someone is trying to do something terrible, they need to navigate jane austen era ass court politics to figure it out. so, so fucking stupid and fun

dungeons & drag queens - i havent finished this season, cuz i got Depressed As Shit earlier this year and just couldn't, but im about to jump back in. honestly, the plot doesn't matter, it's monet x change, alaska thunderfuck, jujubee and bob the drag queen. do you need to know anything else? no, you don't

mentopolis - the current season. a good place to start it you don't want to binge anything, as only one episode is out. it's a noir detective mystery taking place within the brain of a scientist and is already climbing the ranks of my favorite seasons

godspeed, you little nerd. go forth and have fun

#asks!

[chromes-corner]

Hey it's me >:] for the character bingo thingie, can, can you try it with Affogato and Clotted Cream? if you can ofc!!, generally I need to know abt ppl's opinions on those sly bastards <3

-Mid

More brainrotting 😌😌 ah my sweet sweet catharsis 💕

Affogato up first!

I. Love. Affogato. I fucking LOVE HIM YOU HAVE NO IDEA!!!! Like he’s so conniving and sneaky that it’s lowkey comical and that’s such a FUN CHARACTER TRAIT. i just think affogatos a silly funny guy and he should be allowed to do whatever he wants <3

i marked wasted potential because i know damn well that hes never gonna be relevant to the story ever again and god that upsets me so deeply. like i said up there affogato is just FUN. i love the way he talks and how he enunciates everything to sound as evil as possible. i want him to read me bedtime stories about murder and betrayal. 

god i want to know more about his upbringing, because what we do know is SO INTERESTING AND GODDDDD IT MAKES CACAO OUT TO BE SUCH A SHIT KING AND I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!! like i can ONLY assume that it was because of cacao’s shitass kinglyness that affogato became the way he is. maybe this is just me making long winded headcanons about things, but in my eyes, because cacao was so focused on defenses and such, he neglected the other tribes of the kingdom which eventually led them to ruin. affogato grew up with NOTHING, poor as dirt along with every other coffee tribe denizen, thus leading him on this epic mission for revenge and regicide. oh what a guy. you go boo <3

for the love of god i want more on affogato. hes so funny but hes also kinda tragic oh what a little guy... i want him to eat out of my hand and then tell me im filth beneath his shoe.............

ummmmmmmmmmmm i dont like clotted cream. yeah erm uh sorry.

ok actually its kinda weird. i have a really strong love-hate relationship with clotted cream. i like him BECAUSE i dislike him so much. i want to step on this twink. i want to wreck his shit and punch him in the face. hes a stupid manipulative politician (i said the same word twice there) and i want him to lovingly fall into a pit of spikes.

that being said, I LIKE SEEING HOW HE INTERACTS WITH OTHERS!!!!! like by himself hes a shithead and i want him to take a nap forever, but when hes actively putting on the charms to manipulate other people??? fuck yeah honestly give that to me. he has really good fucking writing and i appreciate that the story is making me hate him. like go off bro convince those old geezers to give their weapons of mass destruction to you. 

and i cant mention clotted cream without screaming about his design. HES SO DUMB LOOKING. HE LOOKS LIKE SOME GUY. SOME FUCKIN SCHMO!!!!!!!!!! if someone didnt look closely they wouldnt even know hes supposed to be a food!!!!!!!!!!!!!! no anime boys in my pastry game thank you very much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i put a question mark over the deeper than they seem question because we still dont know everything about the guy yet. who knows. maybe therell be a twist in these next few story updates that make me love him. maybe ill fall deeper into my pit of hatred. im excited to see the outcome nonetheless.

#chromespeaks #thinkposting

[my-random-shit-blog]

They couldn't even give us a good ol' "trans rights are human rights!" ???

Just fucking, "You Exist."

Glad we got that misconception cleared up, I would've thought otherwise if it wasn't for this multi-million dollar cookie company 👍

#anti capitalism #lgbtqiia+ #tucute #trans rights #im not actually upset this is just so fuckin stupid its funny #anti transmed #transmed dni #leftist

[lovinkiri]

Hello, how are you doing? So listen this idea is really stupid and I’m not sure if it could be funny or if I’m just tired but here me out. Choose whoever you want if you decide to do this and it can be anything you want. But what would their reaction be to walking into their fem s/o’s room and seeing them lounging on their bed in sweatpants and a sports bra eating pie. I ask this because that’s what I’m doing as I write this and someone just walked in, saw what I was doing, sighed like I was a disappointment while shaking their head and left. Again I don’t know if this is funny or stupid so feel free to disregard. Have a good night or day or whenever you’re reading this. 💖💜💙

Hilarious

Katsuki Bakugou x Reader

Eijirou Kirishima x Reader

Denki Kaminari x Reader

Mina Ashido x Reader

Sero Hanta x Reader

Author's Thoughts: Decided to go with the Bakusquad! And I named this "Hilarious" because its freakin hilarious 🤣

Warning: None

ALL CHARACTERS ARE 18+

Katsuki Bakugou

Okay okay

You were just enjoying your pie on a Friday night

And in comes Bakugou

"Oi, Shitty Hair said to.."

He trails of at the sight.

And he very calmly snaps a picture of you.

Then a miracle happens.

He bursts out in laughter.

"Thats fuckin sad!"

And if you give him a look, he'll try covering his mouth and stifling his laughter.

"Y-Yeah, yeah, im good damn it."

"Anyway, you wanna do something less sad and go out tonight with the rest of us."

He says setting the picture as his lockscreen.

Eijirou Kirishima

"Babe, Mina accidentally swallowed a penny you gotta-"

Is put off by the sight of you.

Not because you look less attractive, he actually thinks you're adorable.

You just look sad to him.

So he's sitting on the bed next to you gently.

"Hey.. You okay?"

You're almost embarrassed by how concerned he is.

Because you're just fine!

And no matter how much you try tell him you are, he doesn't fully believe that.

Calls Sero.

"Hey man, Y/n isn't feeling well so im gonna chill with her. Yeah, she was just alone eating pie in her bra-"

Denki Kaminari

He was coming to cuddle with you.

"Hey, lovebug! Oh! Haha, well look at you~"

He was already wearing sweatpants so literally just takes off his shirt and lays next to you.

"Feed me? Ah!"

Ends up eventually just getting the whole pie.

And stats up watching Disney/Pixar movies with you.

"At first, I was confused, but we should do this more often."

And he looks so happy with you!

"Thanks for tonight."

The pie is gone and he's nuzzling into your breasts.

And all you did was lay down and eat pie 🥺

Mina Ashido

She completely understands.

It barely phases her.

"Hi baby! Nice boobies!"

She'll definitely tease you though.

"Damn, I see you're having a wild night. We got a party animal over here!"

Definitely pecks your lips after teasing as an apology.

"Sorry, Boo. Couldn't help myself, hehe."

And then she's stripping.

Down to her panties.

"What? I wanna be comfy too!"

And lies down beside you, showering you in affection.

Definitely also takes pictures though because she thinks its so cute.

Takes a picture of you with a fork in your mouth, laying against her bare chest.

Sero Hanta

"Pfft-"

Just immediate laughter 💀

"Sorry, sorry.. You okay babe?"

He is a bit worried that you're upset, but once you tell him you're okay, he's just chuckling.

Its just funny for some reason!

Sero definitely wears sweatpants all the time.

So he pulls off his shirt to reveal his loose white tank top.

And he lays next to you.

You two spend the night talking about the most random shit.

And he steals bites of your pie.

"Look. I'm just saying. There's no way aliens eat pie. They eat different because they're a different species!'

#eijirou kirishima x reader #katsuki bakugou x reader #mina ashido x reader #denki kaminari x reader #hanta sero x reader #bnha #boku no hero academia #mha #my hero academia

[mypimpademia]

Pull Up

Bakugo x fem!reader

TW: Swearing, mentions of alcohol but no actual drinking, Bakugo throwing hands

Note: i got this idea from @liltodo

College AU

This was just supposed to be pulling up to his house but the party idea was just spontaneous and happened while I was in the middle of writing so I just went with it

Also, I still aint good at writing fights 💀 it just gets repetitive because its just a lot of punching. And I personally wouldn't wanna read that so im not gonna write it. But enjoy

As of recently, there's been talk of a TikTok video that was going around your campus. You hadn't exactly seen it, which was odd considering everyone said you were the subject of said video.

And no matter how much you asked people for the video, or account no one would tell you or show you. They wouldn't even show your friends.

At this point, you were sure a majority of the campus had seen the video. Even your boyfriend, Katsuki, had heard about it, and he couldn't care less about the media.

But that was least of your worries as of now, because you and your friends were about to go to a party to release the stress of this week. Of course, it was at a frat house party, so you knew most of you were all going to leave wasted and tripping over your own feet.

This is exactly why Katsuki was coming in the first place. He'd never admit it, but it was so he could protect you from random creeps. Denki and Hanta would always say they'd do it so Katsuki could keep to his old man sleep schedule. But inevitably failed, as they'd get distracted by any pretty girl as soon as they walked through the door.

Katsuki also didn't trust Ubers, hence he was also designated driver for the guys while Momo was yours.

"Katsuki, hurry up! The others are waiting for us." You beckoned your boyfriend, turning over your shoulder to see him lagging several steps behind you.

"Don't tell me what to do, this is your fault y'know? I could be asleep right now if you weren't going to this stupid party." He grumbled, stuffing his hands deeper into the pockets of his sweatpants.

"Well, if its that bothersome, then you can go home and sleep." You tested him, knowing full and well that he'd stay.

Katsukis back straightened for a moment, making his face visible as he tilted his hooded head up. He scoffed, before slouching back down into his normal posture.

"Bakubro, Y/n, over here!" You heard Eijiro call. You turned to look ahead, and saw everyone waving in your direction.

You rushed over. You took turns hugging Mina, Momo and Jiro, and as you turned to hug the boys, you realized they were all talking quietly.

"No dude, Katsuki is gonna flip his shit." Kirishima whispered to Kaminari. "Yeah, but like, shouldn't he be allowed to know? Its kinda his business." Sero insisted.

"Whats my business?" Katsuki grunted, brows already furrowed, like he knew he'd be upset about whatever it was.

"N-nothing Bakubro!" Kirishima blurted, jumping back and holding his phone to his chest.

"Kirishima! They both have the right to know!" Mina told him, snatching his phone, and holding it out to you and Katsuki.

The video started, and the 'Let's Link' TikTok audio started. The back green screen picture was a screenshot of one of your Instagram posts. One where you were in a rather form fitting outfit, and in a pose that showed off your body shape.

The whole time during the "I like you" portion of the audio, he was pointing up at your picture, and grinding.

And then cut to a video of you playfully flipping off Katsuki, the boy flipping him off along with you. The whole time, he mouthed "dont give a fuck bout yo boyfriend.".

As the video replayed, you realized you knew the guy in the video. You had a class with him, and tutored him every now and then. And on top of that, the party you were going to was his.

Katsuki must've noticed this too, because he stormed off to his car.

And he must've been beyond mad, because he damn near broke his door with the way he flung it open. Denki, Eijiro, and Hanta all chased after him, somehow managing to not get dragged and/or run over with the way he peeled out before they could even fully get in.

"Holy shit, everyone get to the car." You said, grabbing Momos hand and pulling her towards her car. Mina and Jiro rushed behind you.

You all piled in, and Momo started up the car. You were struggling to keep up with Katsukis speed.

"Momo, go faster!" You told her, hearing Katsukis wheels begin to screech. "But I'm going the speed limit!" Momo told you.

"Would you rather get a speeding ticket or be a murder witness?" You asked her. Momo contemplated for a moment before speeding up.

You arrived at the party at the same time as the boys, thankfully. But before you could even fully stop and park the car Katsuki was already storming towards the front door, the guys chasing after him.

You got out of the car before Momo completely parked, and chased after him.

"Katsuki-" You tried to call out to your boyfriend, who was almost literally fuming. But as soon as you got the last syllable of his name out, he already blasted the front door open.

"WHERE THE FUCK IS JORDAN?!" Katsuki yelled, palms already emitting small explosions.

"Dude, my door-" Before Jordan could get his last word out, Katsuki was on him in an instant. He had Jordan by the collar, raised off the ground, back against the nearest wall.

Katsuki unlocked his phone to display the TikTok he has sent to himself god knows when. "This you?" Katsuki asked Jordan, holding the phone to his face.

"Y-yeah, but i-it was just a joke!" Jordan sputtered. "WELL IT AINT FUCKIN FUNNY. DO YOU SEE ME LAUGHING?" Katsuki barked, making Jordan flinch.

"L-look dude, I'm sorry, it didn't mean anything. I don't want any trouble." Jordan pleaded, beginning to physically shake.

"Yo, Katsuki, its just a video, chill-" Denki tried to soothe Katsuki, placing a hand on his shoulder. "SHUT IT, SPARKY, ITS MORE THAN THAT, THATS MY GOD DAMN GIRLFRIEND." Katsuki shouted, making Denki jump back.

While Katsuki had his head turned, Jordan took the chance to land a blow to Katsukis cheek.

However, it clearly didn't give the effect Jordan expected. All Katsuki did was scoff in his face. I mean, he's been punched by All Might, a basic punch wasn't gonna do much.

After a moment of all of you sitting in fear and suspense, Katsuki slammed Jordan to the ground and started punching him till his face started going purple. The collar on Jordan shirt was holding on for dear life, but Katsuki wasn't letting up.

Eijiro clearly wanted to intervene, but cringed away from the scene upon seeing Jordans swollen face, and hearing Katsuki give him quirk enhanced slaps.

At this point, there was blood splattering in all directions, and you knew you needed to intervene before someone actually got killed.

"Katsuki, that's enough!" You grabbed your boyfriends bicep, pulling it back. You both knew he could've easily shrugged you off and continue, but he decided to calm down for you.

He let go of Jordans tattered collar, standing up straight and taking jagged breaths.

Jordan spit out several teeth, and mouth full of blood, before seemingly passing out.

Katsuki stepped back, turning to you. His bloodied hand grabbed your wrist, and he leaned in next your ear.

"We're leaving." He told you, before tugging you towards the door.

He stopped right before stepping out, turning around to face everyone.

"NONE of you saw shit, and tell dick face to make up a lame excuse. If any of you snitch, ill kill you." He growled, staring to tug you back to the car.

"Fucking bastards..."

#katsuki bakugo headcanons #katsuki bakugo x reader #bnha #bakugou katsuki #bakugo headcanons #katsuki bakugo imagine #bnha bakugo katsuki #mha headcanons #mha #mha hcs #bnha hcs #bnha headcanons #bnha bakugou #bnha katsuki #bnha kacchan #mha bakugou #mha katsuki

[crazygaysex]

incomprehensible conjecture and rambling about sunny/rcg under the cut! idk man I got 1 hour of sleep in the past 24 or wataver and my brain is an abandoned swamp Good Nigte

i certainly am not arguing that mac Absolutely Isnt a stereotype of a predatory gay man/self-hating homophobe or whatevr. i wont argue the homophobe one at all really,not great even if they rectified it and further tried to make up for it or whatever w mac finds his pride (which i love, regardless). but honestly i dont think the predatory complaint really makes a whole lot of legitimate sense considering every charatcer on the show is Extremely predatory in their own right. if he wasnt i’d be irritated to be honest. i do agree w wat mcelhenney said something like that its cool that they decided to acknowledge he was gay without changing him fundamentally as a person; he still needs to fit into the show or watever. like idk he’s not Ideal Gay Rep ofc but he’s awesome still. To Me. I like when character’s sexuality can be an improtant acknowledged facet of them but doesnt overtake the rest of te narrative! It never occurred to me that his behavior toward dennis would be seen as predatory ina stereotypical way seeing as how their relationship dynamic is so fckign bizarre. charlie has the same level of dogged cluelessness about the obj of his affection’s true feelings, so it didnt occur to me to see mac touching dennis’ knee or stuff of that variety as being any different ig or as making fun of queers or watevr. if i am wrong/misunderstanding i apologize. i have never considered mac from that perspective before.

honestly i kinda get the complaints. i’ve never rly thought rcg all have 10000% pure intentions with the insensitive kind of humor they are into, no matter their loophole justifications for shit. sometimes i almost believe their reasoning and do basically understand but it still seems flimsy when you considers stuff like the blackface stuff which is indeed kind of funny at times mainly bc the joke is the absurdity of it all, like mac in the shower with the brown dripping off him like he’s melting; it’s not funny at the expense of black ppl but more so at the expense of how goddam stupid and unaware mac is. i havent seen the blackface/brownface ones in years sos i dont have a whole lot to say excepe they seemed to be clearly against using blackface as the moral while still using it to get laughs. so. really honestly i don’t know that it’s Liderally Ever edgy white people’s call to use something like blackface regardless of context, regardless of their obvious intent? i dunno i have tried to find Black ppls opinions online a couple times but struggled to find any tangible results. the only other thing i have to say with ym white person words is that i think it’s stupid that the streamig companies take down all insensitive episodes like theyre trying to brush them under the rug and pretend it never happened in wake of a changing political climate. i get it, but kinda just seems like corporate scrambling ie disney getting ridof all of song of the south but still profiting from splash mountain eprhaps. something seems dodgy to me about pretending it doesnt exist anymore just to cover their asses. i understand the sentiment i guess but i dont think that’s really the main goal of the BLM movement, to purge streaming services of any questionable/racially insensitive/Fully Racist material; there’s surely more important things at the top of the lists besids Good Branding . im not sure if that makes sense

also a lot of episodes the joke is the blatant but somehow woefully oblivious homoerotic overtones present between the guys, like a Lot of the time. it is very funny though is the thing and a lot of thm are my favorites. i dunno. i also thought hte pooping transgender bit was pretty funny mainly cause it was absurd. i think maybe because i have my own what i think are reaosnable and empathetic views about certain stuff like queer shit it doesnt necessarily occur to me that they are trying to make fun of queer people.. like people make fun of conservative fans for having completely missed the point of it all being satire, and wat if i am being tricked to into assuming rcg has kind intentions and isnt trying to make fun of queer people just cause the thought didnt occur to me? instead of taking all the gay subtext serious- WHICh i Do, i should probably be more aware that to rcg it is just a bit and not really that deep. but mac and dennis were totally fucjing in s5 canonically. anwyays like aside from the carmen shit which is handled So Fuckign Bad and it makes me so upset cause i actually love carmen they were just very clearly not bothered with actually representing trans people accurately. so in the bathroom one if even fuckin dee reynolds is like, saying a trans woman in a woman’s bathroom is obviously normal.. it seems like they’d rectified some of their previous Very flawed rhetoric surrounding trans women (ie the whole “u slept with me when i was still a man” line. makes me cringe a bit ebery time)u get wat i mean?? not that it atones for it obviously. i love carmen she desreved better

butreallt i dont have any like. Pure Faith in rcg to be super accountable or honest about their intentions or to have the most accurate or agreeable beliefs or whataver. theyre just fucking about really because they can without any lashback. and people i think like being able to laugh at offensive shit thru scenarios which supposedly distance you from bigots/evil people and make u feel better about yourself watching these dumbass evil people talk slime. when like. glenn yelling supposedly arabic-sounding gibberish for example: it is funny in this context not just cause it’s wildly inappropriate and absurd but also because there’s prob significant amt of people who actually dont have an issue with it who could watch it and not have that takeaway whatsoever. i dont kno wt im talking about anymore btu honestly if youre trying to watch a show that isnt rife throughout with controversial/offensive/insensitive language and story beats, i dont know why you would try to stomach it with sunny. like for gods sake they used blackface more than once! i dunno man

#x #iasip #i need to go to slepep now

[latulasbian-1]

what are your thoughts on kankri? personally i never understood the appeal and im interested to hear your take since he Was on the b tier of your list

OK! Sorry for lateness but I only noticed your question at like 2:00 AM and needed a full tank of brain-gas to be able to convey my thoughts even semi-coherently. 

So Kankri’s a weird one, probably one of the most convoluted and self-contradictory characters in Homestuck. Its fitting given he’s pretty much a one note joke and hussie’s one-note joke characters actually wind up being either his most oddly complex (see: equius and feferi for instance) or most sympathetic (see: Nepeta). Kankri’s a bit of both imo, though I wouldn’t call him a favorite for me. 

Kankri’s characterization is built almost entirely on one fuckin’ note: “LOL AIN’T TUMBLR SJWs FUNNY AND ANNOYING!?!?!?”. If you disagree with this then I don’t even know what to tell you, bc everything from his style of long-winded monologues (that wind up running up on Hussie Ableism Moments bc in-narrative his infodumping is supposed to be annoying???) to his inability to take social cues to his supposed-to-be-interpreted-as-excessive use of trigger warnings to his unapologetic killjoy attitude to his supposed hypocrisy/”privilege” are literally all just a fucking layer cake of anti-SJW stereotypes. This is where the issue of how the fandom interprets Kankri kicks in, as people’s opinions on him (aside from a few diehards) tend to scale from “DAWWW CUTE WIDDLE UPPITY BEANBOY” to “fucking annoying neoliberal”. For the matter, neither of these are intended by Hussie, while he did design him to be cute he wasn’t meant to be hateable for leftist homestuck fans as a (neo-)liberal or faux leftist. Hussie just designed him after everyone hussie found annoying in the social justice community primarily on tumblr. Even his political monologues, though not WITHOUT hypocrisy and bullshit, tend to actually skew towards “pretty fucking reasonable hussie just thinks people being upset by bad stuff is stupid”.  

Now, people cite Kankri being ableist in his criticism of certain other dancestors for ~conforming to stereotypes~, which yes from an in context scenario is pretty fucking bad. If someone IRL is dealing with their disability in a way you think seems pretty stereotypical keep that thought to yourself. HOWEVER, AS ONE OF THE MOST CRUCIAL POINTS TOWARDS KANKRI BEING GENERALLY SYMPATHETIC, WE GET THE META ELEMENT. Hussie, in writing a hypocritical mansplainer who goes on and on and on about everything thats politically incorrect about the people around him, practically beat-for-beat replicates talking points PEOPLE HAVE USED TO CRITICIZE HOMESTUCK ITSELF. YES! MITUNA’S PRESENTATION AS A CHARACTER IS 100% UNAMBIGUOUSLY AWFUL IN ITS PORTRAYAL OF PEOPLE WITH BRAIN INJURIES AND MENTAL DISORDERS. DAMARA IS A RACIST STEREOTYPE SO BAD HUSSIE SHOULD GET THROWN IN JAIL. INCEST IS BAD. If ANYONE in homestuck should’ve pulled the meta knowledge shit in post-canon, kankri would’ve been a WAYYYYYY better candidate than dirk for it, especially since kankri seems halfway to realizing he’s fictional just by political analysis of the story he’s in! Kankri seems to exist at the apex of Hussie’s confusion about fandom, given he’s baffled enough by people being obsessed with his work yet so intensely negative that he can only seem to think of them as obsessive manchild wierdos with no sense of rational thought. As someone who myself unironically loves Homestuck and yet have an entire third of my brain dedicated to ripping it apart on an ethical level, I can see some of myself in that turtleneck’d contrarian. Just because someone is a fan of something doesn’t mean they will or should unthinkingly defend it from all recourse. This is something homestuck as a whole struggles with, I think back to the aspect or extended zodiac quiz where one of the questions amounted to “someone is talking shit about a show you like, how do you respond” and there wasn’t even an answer for “actually listen to what they’re trying to say and consider if they could be right”. Kankri is a symbol of sorts for those critical enjoy-ers, in a way. A stupid silly not-that-meaningful way, but a way. I think people should reclaim him. 

I’ve touched on it a bit before, but the last main sympathizing aspect of kankri for me (aside from personality things like his frankly unearned patience with a friend group that entirely fucking hates his guts) is a trait share by almost all the dancestors: Hussie’s fucking disturbing use of mental illness & psychiatric disorders with them. Between Kankri’s unwillingness to observe common social cues, his overtly poised and practiced manner of speaking, his obsession with using trigger warnings to warn off confrontation in leu of not just speaking his mind with everything, his tendency to cling to certain articles of clothing for long periods of time, his implied difficulty taking care of himself physically, and the fucking insulting “mom-friend useless-manchild-who-needs-nannying” dynamic he has with Porrim, he comes off (intentionally or no) as a beat-for-beat embodiment of an autistic person as seen through Hussie’s tropey and horribly ableist worldview. This is a common trait he shares with both Aranea and Mituna, as well as many of the other dancestors to lesser degrees (many of them, like Mituna, also have OTHER mental disorders flat-out-stated in such a way that makes their depiction just fucking confused and bad). For me, and for at least SOME other people, it makes unbiased critical reactions to them damn near impossible. They deserve better than how hussie can write them. In a lot of ways I have friends like Kankri, and Hussie’d almost fucking certainly find them just as embarrassing and annoying as he meant for Kankri to be. 

So yeah, Kankri isn’t my favorite by any means but i don’t feel like i can or should condemn him. He’s fun. I’d watch his video essays. 

And this isn’t even BEGINNING to touch on how much I loathe Porrim as an example of “good cool fun feminists that hussie can sexualize!” And her more open bisexuality than other trolls being both a tool for fetishization by Hussie and a fucking skin-crawling thing to use as a contrast for Kanaya’s status as either “the only confirmed lesbian in homestuck (until postcanon showed rose was a lesbian too)” or “the only lesbian troll in existence ever bc thats totally how sexuality would work with aliens” (sorry if you ascribe to the “all trolls are bisexual bc they’re supposedly binormative as a get-out-of-jail-free card for hussie’s hetero-ass ship tease shit” then. well get better soon) 

(seriously though everyone who pulls the “kanaya is the only lesbian alternian” shit owes every lesbian 100 dollars) 

#homestuck #kankri #longpost #discourse #Anonymous

[littlebabycrybtch]

honestly its still so heart dropping and disgusting to continue to see aspec ppl have to put on that like. trained, overly polite, overly passive, complete Lack Of Self Respect tone that forces a sense of ‘i know i dont matter’ just so they dont get completely automatically ground into dust when they go out on a limb and ask ppl they wanna interact with; ‘hey please dont start anything but can you just let me know if you’re an aphobe or not’ and its Still met with soo much mockery and disbelief almost every time like....... bro what even is there not to understand. you’re literally being the proof of why they have to ask abt it i cannot Fathom that kind of Blindness like lmfao bitch they just dont wanna be around some1 who hates them.... thats .. normal... thats human?? thats human behaviors. its having standards for yourself. its FEELINGS like unironically rn pls tell me you’re clowning and that you do understand how fucken LOUD you all are abt normalizing aspec hate and how often we obviously run into bitches like you and have to ask this question. you know how LONG we’ve begged for basic support so you have to know that reacting to being asked if you give a shit abt somebody with that kind of mockery is disgusting and bratty and ignorant af bc bro lmao its YOUR FAULT for being a Part of the people HATING THEM....?

holy shit lol, nobody should be good with being around people who disrespect a part of them,,,, thats like a genuine personal problem if someone willingly wants to do that, so why tf would you be expecting that. bc its us? bc its us. bc its us and you feel THAT right in thinking that we’re so worthless, they we are just so Stupid for not knowing that too. its funny to you that we dont realize how little we matter. lmao its so ugly and warped like!!! god how fuckin evil can you get just calm down idiot lmao theyre asking if you respect them and you’re basically responding ‘why would it matter to you if i didnt?’ bhsejbjehg uhhhhhhjjjjjjjjj bc thats. a regular thing 2 care about. its standards like mam do you hang out with ppl who hate you. is that some normal thing to you like. avoiding the ppl who wish you werent around is sort of just . health and safety and basic emotional response and also common sense. really is. literally How dehumanizing and detached coudl you POSSIBLY be abt this to be directly asked by a marginalized identity group if you respect them or not, and actually say No, but Also be like ‘LMAO YOU REALLY ASKED ME THAT? IT DOESNT MATTER’ like. yeah it matters bc they stay existing actually, you dont have to hate them for that, and they wouldnt have to ask yall this stuff if you behaved lmfao. not to mention your reaction is literally the evidence that it apparently matters enough to You to make sure they know you dont accept them. fully, you are whats making it ‘matter’ so much bc you are the one going apeshit over a benign existence. you’re the one losing it over nothing.

like lmfafuckingo what is WRONG with your MIND dude im.... speechless like ‘dont drag me into discourse’ YOU HATING SOME1 AND THEM HATING YOU BACK IS NOT ‘’’’’’TUMBLR DISCOURSE’’’’’..............? WHAT R U DISPLAYING RN DID U NOT SPEND ENOUGH TIME IN THE GUIDANCE COUNSELORS OFFICE GROWIN UP WITH THIS ATTITUDE......... ITS THE NATURAL ORDER OF SOCIAL CONSEQUENCE......... ITS SOME BASIC ‘YOU STARTED IT’ TEE MOTHERFUCKIGN EM LOGIC...? YOU HATE THEM! FOR AUTONOMY! FOR HAVING AN IDENTITY AND ENOUGH SELF RESPECT TO STICK BY IT! THEY HATE YOU BACK I THINK THEYRE ALLOWED TO ASODLKFL;SDF AAAA DUUUDE lmaoooo and like good lord, passively existing around ppl who hate you and not challenging them isnt ‘avoiding discourse’. thats. so unhealthy sdjkf what kind of underdeveloped politics.... its toxic and absolutely batshit to genuinely ask that of Anyone. like bro stop Actually expecting ppl to hate themselves for ur comfort thats.... so weird i.... are you okay hhh nah you just need to step up and try to be a regular ass person actually and have sympathetic reasoning skills. being ace is fiiiine its nbd i dont need to to change for you, im allowed to be this, and i get to ask if you’re ok with that so i dont end up in a gross ass environment.

ace =/= discourse. you dont get a say in everything my dude. we’re not here for you to analyze, we dont give you permission and we dont need Your permission to exist, we’re not asking that of you when we send those msgs we’re tryna figure out if ur gonna be a bitch or not basically lol just seeing if we’re gonna be accepted by you or if we’re wasting our time like alksd;al its so traumatizing and unnecessary and MINDBOGGLING that u think its not fucked up ?? to feel like we are supposed to accept your hate of us as our truth?? you believe we’re that awful that its Funny when we dont Realize it or smth thats just so....... what would even make you respect us. literally absolutely nothing besides not existing in front of you. so. thats hate. thats irrational unwavering hate. beyond the fact that any group always has the right to ask you if YOU hate THEM, you cant sit there and mock the mere idea of caring when you are literally giving reason for it by trying your BEST to upset them and make them feel like they deserve to feel like shit for what they are afterwards. dfgjdfkgjdlfkgfd man the hypocrisy and like complete lack of self awareness in reg culture is like novacaine for my brain its so jarring sometimes. im allowed to have a problem with you having a problem with me bc i cant fix Being smth, you can fix how you feel abt it. balls in your court ill stay waiting. im not gonna hate myself bc you’re not right xoxo get a vaccine for w/e makes you this evil and selfish pls

[etherealskeletons]

i hate my uncle i say that often but its something that needs to be said a lot bc hes such a nasty disgusting fat fucking roach. me and dad get into a few [minor] car accident back in july/august and insurance gives us a lil bit of money to fix the cars up and this piece of shit is always up my dads ass asking if he got the money yet because he wants all of it and feels entitled to it [for whatever reason] like bitch what the fuck??? fuck off???

fixing the car was a bitch and cost some moneys i wanna use whatevers left to fix dads fucked up teeth - he needs fuckin.. $2500 worth of work done bc he hasnt gone to the dentist in 20+ years and everyone knows this my dad is very vocal about how he needs work done before he loses anymore teeth and this drug addicted loser is like “SO YOU GOT THAT MONEY YET????” and is open about how he loves to waste tons of fucking money at the casino and my dad is fucking stupid and irritating i love him but jesus christ he makes me wanna throw shit at him for being so fucking stupid

he had his mail for the cars sent to this bitches house so deans tearing open all the mail we get from state farm or the state or just literally any fucking piece of mail that has either of our names on it with hopes that theres gonna be a check inside he can cash in illegally - and what makes me upset is he got away with this before!!!! hed do this with my grandparents all the time and didnt get in trouble, and like a year or so ago he opened my dads mail in the past and found a $60 check from the storage guys and did check fraud and pocked the money for himself im!!! hhf!!! im sitll mad about it bc his excuse was “haha oops sowwry~ i caved~ can i have smore moneyyy~? pweaaaseee uwu??”

nd my dad would fuckin GIVE him money behind my back even after promising me he wouldnt, hed say shit to his piece of shit brother like "haha if she finds out shes gonna be soooo mad~ ill get in sooo much trouble~~ we cant make a habit of thisss~” and would LAUGH when id get so fuckin upset that hed break our promise and send lots of money over to his begging bastard brother bc its funny when im mad and having a meltdown ig!!!! now hes like “idk why u dont trust me like im gonna do it again and again like i did all the time in the past omg i said i wouldnt do it this time and i actually mean it so stop freaking out ://” and he keeps promising that this time is gonna be different but idk i just cant trust it fully,, and that sucks i hate that i cant trust him but hes the one who would do this bullshit behind my back and would laugh when id literally be having a big fuckin meltdown and would be like “omgg i didnt think youd get THIS upset” even though itd happen over,, and over,, nd over,, with the same results every time :^)

its just!!!! ANNOYING,,!!!!!! i hate that everyone ignores the elephant in the room that hes a 60+ year old leech and a drug/gambling/prostitute addict i hate that hes related to me i hate that im close to him that were in the same state that he knows exactly where i live bc he could come and harass me for money like old times i jsut!!!! i fuckignfd!!!!!

i hate everything i hate everyone i hate hate hate im jus!! mean little bastard that doesnt like anything or anyone

#💀.txt #diary

[kinkymagnus]

okay im fucking LOSING MY MIND LAUGHING

normally i like block anon hate and i might do a quick generic response but i don’t necessarily show the ask but this is too fucking funny not to. this is genuinely the best anon hate i’ve ever gotten. i’m almost wondering if it’s a joke surely someone isn’t this goddamn stupid???

ok ok ok so.

first of all. i actually was joking, mostly because while magnus’s actor, harry,  is very attractive he’s like late 30s and it would be kind of weird for someone that much older than me to have sex with me. and while magnus is, again, super hot, i also ship him with alec more than i actually want to have real sex with him or something, particularly again given the age thing and my own unrelated issues, so like, if somehow magnus bane became real, i would not want to have sex with him. although that’s irrelevant, as he isn’t real, and fantasies are harmless even if i was fantasizing about that, but whatever.

second. even if i wasn’t. what the fuck. i literally wouldn’t even be doing anything wrong.

anon please tell me what’s disgusting about being attracted to a FICTIONAL CHARACTER. it’s not like i’m out here thirsting over a 12 year old anime girl with huge tits or something, so i honestly don’t see the issue. he’s a fictional adult, and also he’s hot. people have fantasies about fictional characters all the time?? this is normal?????

like 1. on a more serious note some people only feel comfortable with sexual fantasies about a fictional character because it’s more coherent than vague “and then im having sex with...someone” but also its unattainable and like, can’t hurt you, and also, you don’t feel weird being attracted to someone (although you never should anyway unless they’re way younger than you or something??) and also again 2. WHY IS THIS A PROBLEM? DO YOU THINK THIS IS LIKE BESTIALITY AND THE FICTIONAL CHARACTER CAN’T CONSENT TO [checks notes] YOU FINDING THEM SEXY??? WHAT THE FUCK they’re not REAL, karen 

and even so no one needs consent to find someone attractive lmao what the fuck it’s attraction not action

i genuinely can’t get over this it’s so fucking funny “ERRRM just learned that you think a fictional character is hot. [vine voice] blocked and reported” i????????

or is this about the specific use of the word “topping” which is referring to the fact that i personally prefer being on the receiving end of things, but would be willing to be the “giver” so to speak for him? it’s a joke, i’m not even necessarily classifying him as A Bottom and me as a A Top in that post (although even if i did mlm joking and/or seriously headcanoning this shit is not the same as like Cishet Women clowning about it)  like..... ok??????? 

also “writing porn of characters is one thing but WANTING TO FUCK THEM YOURSELF? TOO FAR. IF YOU WRITE SELF INSERT YOU’RE GOING TO HELL.” i??????????????????????? I????????????????

I ACTUALLY WANT TO KNOW THE LOGIC BEHIND THIS I WON’T EVEN BLOCK YOU YET. because despite the whole “blocked and unfollowed” someone only sends anon hate like this when they want attention, and i have no doubt you are going to be checking my blog to see me crying or angry about this. of course, now that i’ve said that you might not respond out of spite or some childish willingness to be like “NUH UH” but like, we both know the truth. and i mean, congrats, you got my attention, look at how fuckin long this response is

anyway despite how hilarious i find this....  like i just... “oh...i......its wrong to joke about wanting to top a fictional character who literally couldn’t care less....it’s WRONG TO BE ATTRACTED TO FICTIONAL CHARACTER....WRONG TO GET OFF ON FICTIONAL CHARACTER (why do you think people read my porn, buddy, for the intellectual stimulation?) WRONG TO WANT FICTIONAL SEX WHEREIN YOU COMPLETELY SET THE BOUNDARIES AND WHAT GOES RIGHT AND WRONG AND IT IS SAFE AND THE FICTIONAL CHARACTER CANNOT HURT YOU IT’S THE FICTIONAL CHARACTER WE AREN’T EVEN MAKING WEIRD COMMENTS ABOUT THE ACTOR--”

[ahem] despite how funny this is, anon hate isn’t cool, and also, dude. if you really were upset by me.... [im about to start giggling again] being. being attracted. to a fictional character. like................ just......... unfollow. hell, you can block me if you want to, god knows i understand blocking people who make content that doesn’t feel comfortable to you. 

but like, sending a petty anon ask (anon! coward! if you’re gonna send hate show me your face!) being like “WELL I HOPE YOU’RE HURT, BECAUSE I HATE YOU NOW, YOU DIRTY SLUT, HOW DARE YOU DO THIS CONTENT I DON’T LIKE” is wrong! even if i was actually doing something that really was gross! even if i’m following someone and i find out they’re into j*lec incest or something, i don’t go into their inbox and go “DISGUSTING. THAT’S WRONG AND RACIST AND GROSS. BLOCKED AND UNFOLLOWED.” even though it is, and they are, because i have class. i unfollow, block, and move on! 

but like, this is even worse because it’s something so mind blowingly trivial it’d be like if i went into some poor person’s inbox like “YOU MADE A POST SAYING YOU THOUGHT AN ACTOR WAS CUTE. FUCK YOU. THAT’S DISGUSTING. BLOCKED AND UNFOLLOWED.” like??? ok??? bye. good riddance

anyway you’re really hurting yourself more than me. i mean, i’ve got [checks notes] holy shit my follower number has gone up one. 

oh my god this is so fucking funny i’ve got one new follower and as far as i can tell it doesn’t look like anyone’s unfollowed unless there’s another new follower buried in the notifications and/or you unfollowed ages ago. did you even unfollow or are you just trying to shame me for thinking magnus is hot, which he is???

that is so fucking funny oh my god i’m just laughing harder the longer i look into this

anyway i was going to make a joke about 601 going down to 600, a nice round number, and like, i wasn’t going to miss you, i block book stans that follow me all the time and people unfollow me for various anti reasons all the time, i’m used to losing followers, you’re the one who is apparently missing out on my porn--speaking of which, why do you like my porn? you can’t be attracted to the characters, right, because that’s a sin? or is it ok if you’re only watching but not involved. like the “it’s not gay if you’re watching and not touching” kind of rule. 

i just.......

“but then wanting to have sex with a FICTIONAL character???wtf??” LKGJFLGKHJFH I CAN’T GET OVER THIS THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY “i expected better of you” FROM ME? THE PORN BLOG? DID YOU THINK I DIDN’T FIND THEM FUCKABLE IN ANY WAY???????? I?????????????????????? 

also did you send a similarly childish ask to all the other people on that post? not that i’m encouraging you do but tothetrashwhereibelong sadly had their inbox closed and has personally expressed interest in a dumbass rant from you when we were laughing about this, so you can send that to me and i’ll carry the message! they’d be delighted to hear it.

anyway i’m actually not going to block you just yet because i honestly want another response but i’ll give it a few days, maybe longer. i’m so curious and also this is so funny lmaooo 

#what the fuck is this im fucking. #i want you to know i got this when i was barely away and it was kind of early for me cos i went to bed super late #and then instead of going back to sleep like i would literally any other time #i actually got up to immediately send this to my friends and LAUGH MY FUCKING HEAD OFF IM???? #this is just so wild #i love it #thanks anon youve made my day #this is it. the funniest ask ive ever gotten #im not even mad despite moral objections to anon hate and shit im just losing my mind #thirstgate #thirstgate anon #the og!

[yoongis-scooter]

senior year, but make it infected

pairing: yoongi x reader (yoongi seems to be in high demand so imma just keep writing for him until 1) someone requests another member or 2) i write something good that’s with another member lol)

word count: 1,029

genre: highschool!au, best friends!au (you n yoongles reminisce about your senior year) (also tried to make it funny but im not funny so)

warnings: this involves covid-19 and essentially how high school seniors are being effected by that so if that upsets you/triggers you don’t read! also there’s a couple swear words

authors note: hi y’all!!! i am/was a senior this year so i’ve def been reminiscing on my high school memories n such :’) also a lil fun fact!! all the stories told in this fic are inspired by things that have actually happened to me lolol but yea!! i hope you enjoy!!

new cases of covid-19 confirmed!

restaurants shutting down do to covid-19!

CDC recommends that citizens stay quarantined!

that’s all your news feed had been for weeks now. you feel awful for everyone that’s been affected, sure, but you find it hard to care now that your last few months of your teenage years have been infected with this god forsaken disease.

you’re mother told you that you were being over dramatic, and that it’s time you start letting go and start thinking about your future. maybe she was right, but you weren’t having it. 

you sit at your desk that’s placed by your window. it overlooks your front yard and you can see all the people that walk by throughout the day. some wearing masks, some not. many move away from the people they see walking towards their direction in silent fear, but they still said a polite hello to not seem too rude.

the time on your phone reads 1:18 AM in little white lettering. you and yoongi had been on the phone with each other since 11, and the call showed no signs of ending any time soon. these nighttime calls with yoongi were a regular occurrence now that the two of you can’t see one another every day at school. the two of you live only about a 10 minute walk away from each other, but your parents were so caught up in the news that they wouldn’t let you leave. so facetime calls would have to suffice until this all blows over.

you’re drawing little doodles on your notepad while you and yoongi talk about miscellaneous things. you look out of your window briefly and notice a lone duck waddling it’s way into your yard. he wanders for a couple minutes while you and yoongi continue talking. you watch him for a minute and then go back to your doodles.

“don’t even get me started on mrs.jung, i can pull up her mugshot at any moment so she better watch how much work she gives us” yoongi babbles. you had accidentally brought up the sore subject of the teacher, knowing how much she gets on yoongis nerves. sometimes you’ll do it just to watch get mad. what can you say, its cute.

“wait she really got arrested? i just thought that was a rumor”

“yea, it happened in like 2013 i thi-”

HONK HONK HONK HONK

your head shoots up, spotting the duck running around your yard and honking like the world was going to end. 

“what the fuck is that?” he asks, looking at your equally as confused expression through the phone screen. you groan loudly, but for some reason the obnoxious honking triggers a memory, and you start smiling a little. yoongi, still very confused, speaks up.

“can you like, not do that? it’s creepy” yoongi said, slightly disgusted by your sudden change in behavior.

“do you remember that one time jungkook was drunk off his ass and he could stop telling us facts about canadian geese?” you beamed, looking at yoongi through your camera. the memory brings a smile onto his face too.

“oh my god... i do. and hoseok was really freaked out because jungkook has never even left the country” yoongi hummed, the both of you now grinning like idiots.

this leads you into a rabbit holes of funny moments that had happened in your friend group.

like the one time you, taehyung, and namjoon had spent 20 minutes painting jesus’ ass to perfection in art history class and then realized you only had 10 minutes to finish the actual assignment but ended up just turning in the ass anyway

like the one time jungkook found one of your head bands on your bedroom floor and put it on like a tube top, then proceeded to prance around your house chanting california girls by katy perry

like the one time your class had taken a trip to washington d.c. and had gotten a chance to attend the changing of the guard ceremony at arlington cemetery, but when all of you got there, namjoon forgot to put his phone on silent so his ringtone started blaring during the what was supposed to be quiete ceremony

the laughter that had been coming from the both of you had finally calmed down and the two of you caught your breath. the both of you still had large smiles on your faces.

“i can’t believe i’m about to say this, but i actually think i’m gonna miss high school” you sigh, looking down at your floor. 

“yea... i mean we’re still going to see each other though. we’re literally going to the same college (y/n)” yoongi chuckles, wanting to tease you but he holds back, because he feels the exact same way. 

“oh shit” yoongi whispers.

“what?”

“it’s 3 in the morning”

you look at the time and yoongi is in fact correct. the numbers read a bright 3:07 AM and you grimace at the thought of having to get up tomorrow.

“well i think it’s time that i hit the hay. i recommend you do the same, (y/n), would hate to see bags under your eyes tomorrow” yoongi joked, and if he were right in front of you, you would’ve flicked him on his forehead.

“shut up! i’ll talk to you tomorrow?” you ask hopefully. and he confirms with an echoed tomorrow.

you throw yourself onto your bed and start looking at old pictures in your camera roll. you miss your friends, and you would give anything to just be in the same room with them again. 

you begin gathering all sorts of photos into a file. the folder consists of any and every stupid memory and greatest accomplishment that the eight of you shared throughout your four years of high school. you share it with them and finally shut your eyes, dreaming about seeing your best friends again.

when yoongi wakes up the next morning he sees the notification from the photo album you humorously titled ‘senior year, but make it infected.’ he chuckles at your amateur attempt to be funny

“what a fuckin’ sap”

#bts fanfiction #bts fanfic #bts fluff #bts drabble #bts one shot #bts imagine #yoongi #min yoongi #suga #yoongi fluff #yoongi fanfic #yoongi fanfiction #yoongi x reader #yoongi oneshot #yoongi imagine #yoongi drabble

[tfw-no-tennis]

mtmte liveblog - 2012 annual

iirc the annual takes place between 7 and 8, or something. whatever, im gonna go for it

shifts in art style always throw me off phewwww

i cant remember what theyre doing but i find it really funny that first aid is there squaring the fuck up to punch shit

ah yes of course how could i forget the time they shrunk down to fight tiny robots in ultra magnus’s head. a comic classic 

poor magnus lmao

HBJSDKFBSHJFDHJSD HIS TERRIFYING SMILE HAUNTS MY NIGHTMARES. LOVE IT

love the continuation of magnus’s law-vision

the fact that everyone is dunking on magnus for smiling ONCE hvbhjdksbfjks

rewind and chromedome ough

i feel like cyclonus spends 90% of his early mtmte screentime staring broodingly out of windows lmao 

tg so precious

lmaooo i love the flashes of rodimus saying ‘til all are one’ All The Time

rodimus just wants to be like his dad ok

rodimus telling drift to go meditate or something vbhjfdbhdsjkf

i love rodimus calling magnus out on referring to himself in the third person lmaoooo but also I'm like Oh I See That [eyes emoji]

wish i had emojis on the computer sigh

lmao so the circle of light is a bunch of pacifists With Big Ass Swords

them betting on how long it'll take rodimus to say ‘til all are one’ vbkjsdhbfjhkhsdf

damn so ambulon rlly did switch sides late in the game 

cyclonus is here!! being an emotionally closed-off fool as usual 

nooo rodimus let tailgate speak

cant believe rodimus graffiti’d tailgate

drift, immediately: rodimus is FUCKING POSSSESSED 

ratchet: ok, no, 

godddd everything abt the galactic counsel here is so funny. ‘its big - its grey - its taxpayer funded’ hvbkjshdbfjkdf and the fact that their ship is called ‘the benign intervention’ lmaooo

also DAMN that is a BIG ASS SHIP 

‘a fleshling in a stupid hat’ i love rodimus and his irrational hatred of hats

magnus comin in CLUTCH with the dry-ass clauses shit 

rewind vhjbdskfbaksdfn ‘the sub-section 7 defense - sneaky’ ily

tailgate hvbhjadkfbjskdf its ok that you don't know what's going on

also tailgate serves a vital role in the story as the audience insert character (or w/e its called), bc he’s often confused which allows for handy exposition that we the audience also need lmao 

i find it so interesting to see how the cybertronians are viewed by the rest of the galaxy - we don't see a lot of aliens but its always fascinating when we do, because of COURSE they’re mostly gonna think of the cybertronians as destructive and war-like when that’s what they’ve been up to for 4 million years 

ooof swerve :( swerve is one of those characters who you’re like ‘haha he’s funny’ most of the time but pretty often he’ll have startling moments of like, deep pain about life or w/e, and you’re like Oh Shit and then you kinda move on, until finally the swearth arc hits and it all comes together. what I'm saying is that this is some nice building towards that 

HGDSBJFKJSJBDF THERE IT IS THERE IT ISSSSSSSSSS

THE PANEL WHERE REWIND IN ALT MODE CAN FLY FOR SOME REASONNNNNN

i fucking love that shot so much. does everyone see this. rewind is a GIANT FUCKIN FLASHDRIVE and he’s hovering ominously thru the air. like, what happened to all the biz from issue 1 or w/e where his husband was roasting him for having a non-mobile altmode? if he can fucking HOVER than Actually rewind is the fucking coolest, no contest 

or like, is the implication that they all teleported there (having switched to alt mode along the way i guess?) and rewind is just like, suspended in midair? bc that's what the speed bubble text implies, but it also totally looks like they're just travelling across the area and rewind can levitate

anyways. that panel has always cracked me up lmaoooo

rodimus calling the council ‘fascists’ hvbhduifbjsdjfajskf sir i love you 

GODDD and there's the joke payoff from a few issues ago - rewind, facing front, hearing drift transform behind him and not only being able to tell its drift without looking, but also being able to tell that drift is upset, JUST like chromedome said he could....fucking PEAK i love that type of payoff humor

ooof and more swerve introspection. i mentioned earlier but i fucking LOVE how this series showcases the extremely wide range of reactions/coping mechanisms that everyone has towards the endless war finally being over - and swerve really nails it here: confusing peace with happiness, and assuming that everything would automatically be better after the war is over, when in reality you still have to work just as hard to build shit rather than break it

also i adore the horror of a guy who is half-embedded in the wall, his face stuck in a rictus of terror & death, waxing philosophical about how peace is about the freedom of choice, and how they should all just feel lucky to have survived...oof, that's very specifically ironic coming from you, dude 

but i do love the little characterization we get here for ore, a character who is literally already dead and has so far been used as a plot device pretty exclusively, but we still get to know little things about him here, and how HE feels about the war and the current peace, etcetc. it really makes the story and characters seem believable, like every character has a story even if we don't take the time to see it 

love cyclonus posing coolly 

kinda love how clear it is that drifts whole hippy schtick is just a front to cover his anger, and a tool to make him seem like an approachable, upstanding autobot

drift dramatically monologuing while pointing his sword at the sky is extra funny with everyone else just staring at him doing this

cyclonus why are you grabbing at the edge of the hole you're falling into, you can LITERALLY FLY, 

magnus finally getting some appreciation for being The most law abiding guy like, ever 

genuinely forgot abt the whole metrotitan plot that happens here 

GOD when rodimus is like BRAIN QUEST TIME and then we smash cut to them at the brain ‘six minutes later’ vhbhkudfjbjksf i live for that shit 

also that would be even funnier animated which further proves that we need an mtmte/ll animated series, please, somebody, 

HBDSJKFSHDJF REWIND IS SO FUCKING FUNNYYYYYY you cant even tell if he GENUINELY didn't think cyclonus could talk or if hes just being a dick but either way? comedy gold 

oh i adore the flashbacks being in a different artstyle, especially one that's so retro 

i love rewind being a history geek, and cyclonus passionately explaining cybertronian creation theory

HHHH i fucking LOVE the myth/lore stuff like....a lot of franchises tend not to dwell in this type of mythology, you tend to get The True Version Of Events, but this kind of explanation rocks bc it totally sounds like the kind of religious mythology that naturally develops based on a species’ progression

and drift and ratchet’s very opposing and polarizing views certainty do make for interesting perspectives, tho i feel like the story sometimes leans too much towards ratchet being ‘more correct’ bc, logic! or something idk i feel like i used to have a couple mild opinions on this but i don't remember

and its funny bc i am, irl, an atheistic medical professional who believes in science above all else - essentially just like ratchet. but i feel like the narrative portrayal skews a little more in his favor than i’d like, despite that 

skids just out here being a bummer, completely unprompted. cant even blame you tho dude 

hhhhhh chromedome talking abt rewind ;_; 

and when he says ‘maybe there’s someone out there who can save your life, too’ and cyclonus is there....hhhh

god i fucking LOVE drift and rodimus’s entire relationship. the layers...the LAYERS!!!

OH HEY ITS THOSE ROBOTS SKIDS FOUGHT 

ah, inconvenient laser time!

ok i fuckgin love how cybertronian’s brains look just like the planet cybertron. that's so fucking great 

of COURSE brainstorm brought his shrink ray 

truly i love the convo between ore and swerve, especially overlaid onto everyone fighting 

oof, the themes and plot threads of this annual are all so nicely tied up (which is something i love abt mtmte, especially early on when the story is smaller), with swerve now choosing to disobey an order from rodimus

oh yeah, the circle of light! that's who you've been looking for this whole time basically! 

and then the ending, hearing that magnus smiled (willingly!) :) i love it

rodimus’s profile says ‘finds it difficult to sit still’ bc rodimus is an adhd icon

lmao i feel like over half of my sentences in this recap - and in most of my recaps - contain ‘i love it’ or ‘i love how-’ or some variation upon that theme. I'm predictable 

anyways - the annual! i love this issue. its really long which is cool and i feel like it does a lot to flesh out the setting and lore, and even the characters as well. also, as i said above, it does an excellent job telling an exciting and well-contained story, with solid story beats throughout and plot threads that emerge and get resolved all within this issue, even while leaving plenty of stuff up for future resolution. that's the Early MTMTE Special, and i adore it. tho i will say I'm glad we’ll be getting back to the regularly scheduled art style, bc this one didn't really do it for me 

#lj rereads mtmte #lmao this is looong

[mattygraygubler]

our campus: chapter 4 (tom holland fanfic)

summary: frat!tom and reader go to the same college and y/n is tasked with being his tutor, they don’t really get along at first (because i love reader and tom hating each other trope)

warnings: none ?????

word count: 2.1k

a/n: so many texts and so much dialogue fuckin kill me also texts are bold

for a list of characters click here

to be added to the tag list send me an ask !

masterlist

✰✰✰✰✰

“I don’t know what you did to get her to give you a second chance, but I need to warn you.” Ally said. Tom turned to look at her, they had only ever spoken when necessary for theater stuff. 

“Warn me?” He asked. 

“Y/N can make your life either very, very good or very, very bad. She has most of the professors in this school wrapped around her pinky. And she doesn’t make it obvious, but she’s the smartest person I’ve ever met. She can really help you if you let her.”

“Well, thanks.” He said awkwardly and turned back to his stuff. 

“One more thing.” Ally said. Tom turned again and raised his eyebrows. “Don’t you dare catch feelings.” “Seriously? No need to worry about that.” Ally scoffed. 

“I’m serious, Tom. Don’t. She doesn’t need that right now.” 

“Yeah, fine, I get it.” He said. 

“Alright guys let’s get started.” Gigi said, signaling rehearsal was about to start. 

* * * 

It was finally Friday, and your phone was blowing up as you walked to the library. Class had gotten out late, so you were walking as fast as possible so you wouldn’t be late to your meeting with Tom. 

Al

if Y/N is ok with it its fine with me

Iz

i still dont know how i feel about this

Em 

pretty pretty please guys i really like this guy and he really wants me to go

You

what are we talking about i was in class

Al

harrison invited em and all of us to the delt party tonight

Iz

and i said we shouldnt go bc of what happened

plus isnt tom a delt? wouldnt that be a bit awk?

You

honestly i couldnt care less. after the week ive had im gonna too blacked to even realize where we are

Em

lets take it to a vote

aye

Al

aye 

Iz

nay

You

im abstaining

Em

the ayes have it! delt BABEEEYYYY

ill have harrison put us all on the list

You 

glad we got that sorted ill see u guys at mine at 8

You walked into the library, checking your watch and seeing it was 4:02. You bit your lip. Hopefully he didn’t give you any crap for being late. 

You walked quickly into hlab, and you knew you looked like a crazy person. Your bag was falling off your shoulder, you had a coffee in your hand and your water bottle tucked under your arm, and your phone in your other hand. 

You scanned the room and saw Tom sitting across from Max, both of them had books out. 

“Hi,” you said breathlessly. Max slid over a seat so you could sit across from Tom. “So sorry I’m late, crazy day.” 

“No worries dar-” You heard him start to say darling, but stopped himself. “No worries. It’s only 2 minutes after.” 

“How long have you been waiting?” You asked.

“Max and I have been hanging out for a while, not a big deal.” 

“Speaking of, I’m on alc duty for tonight so I better go.” Max said, did his stupid handshake with Tom, and walked out. 

Hlab was almost empty except for some freshman. Most people don’t like studying on a Friday, who could blame them?

“So I got a copy of your lectures from this week. What do you want to start with?”

“I don’t care.” 

“Ok, what is currently confusing you the most?” He thought for a second before saying “Astronomy.” You nodded. 

“Great, grab your notes and your textbook.” He pulled out a notebook and his laptop, opening the online textbook. You pulled out your laptop and a pen and highlighter. 

“May I?” You asked and pulled his notebook to your side. You went through his notes, circling certain things with the pen and highlighting others. 

“These are really good, Tom. I like how you put question marks next to things that confused you.” He laughed. 

“Do I get a gold star?” He joked. You rolled your eyes. 

“So phases of the moon.” You started. 

“Wait a second,” he said after you had been talking for a while. “You’re telling me that the moon doesn’t actually, like, change?” 

“It’s all shadows.” You replied. He nodded and seemed to finally be getting it. 

“The phases will most definitely be on your next lab, which isn’t open note, so make sure you memorize them.” You said. “Let’s move onto stats.” He groaned. “What?” You asked. 

“Statistics is so stupid. Letters and numbers shouldn’t go together.” You rolled your eyes. 

“Stats is easy, I promise you. This is the first unit, all we’re doing is descriptive statistics and graphing. Let’s start with some vocab.” You said, highlighting certain words in his notes. 

Once you could see his brain was about to explode, you moved onto writing. 

“There’s not much to talk about, just email me your most recent paper so I can go through it and look for themes we need to discuss.” 

‘“Themes?” He asked. 

“You know, on going issues that need to be addressed.” He nodded and emailed you his paper, which you would read tomorrow. You heard your phone buzz and took a quick glance. 

Em

al dont be upset

Al

then dont give me a reason to get upset

what is it

Em

……….. It’s themed

Al

are you kidding? were not freshmen, i dont wanna go to a stupid themed frat party

Em

its blackout !!!! itll be fun i promise

You turned your phone back down and didn’t realize you had an upset look on your face. 

“Everything ok?” He asked. 

“Just arguing in the group chat.” 

“Do you need to go?” He asked. 

“No, no, just arguing about tonight.” 

“What’s tonight?” 

“Tonight is not related to political conflict, which is what we should be talking about.” He laughed. 

“Do you ever have fun?” 

“Excuse me?” 

“I’m serious, do you ever have fun, or do you just go to sleep surrounded by planners and textbooks.” 

“That’s not funny. There’s a lot more about me that you don’t know.” 

“Clearly.” 

“So we’re starting off with socioeconomic issues over time and the class strugle. Did you read the Marx chapters?” 

“Yup. Didn’t understand a word of it.” 

“Ok, let’s get into it.” You said and began rambling about the bourgeoisie and the communist manifesto. Politics was your favorite subject, you could talk about it for hours. 

You were having a really good discussion with Tom. It was global political conflict, and he was able to connect the themes to both America and England, which made you really pleased. 

You were pulled out of your discussion when your phone vibrated. 

Iz

pickin up panera anyone want anything 

“Jeez it’s already past 6:30, I gotta go.” You said. 

“Oh, I’m sorry.” He said. 

“No it’s not your fault, I get so into politics I lose track of time.” “I can tell.” He said as you both packed up your stuff. 

“Wanna grab some food?” He asked. 

“Sorry, can’t,” you said. 

“Why, got a hot date?” He joked. 

“Maybe,” you said. 

“At least let me walk you to wherever you’re going.” 

“You don’t have to do that.” 

“Well where are you going?” 

“Congression Hall?” You replied. 

“Wait, you live there?” 

“Uhm, yes? Me along with practically every other junior.” 

“What floor?” 

“8.” You said. 

“Should’ve guessed.” He replied as you started walking across the quad. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“Honors 8. I forgot you were in hc.” He was referring to the eighth and top floor of Congression Hall, which was reserved for the honors college juniors. 

“Yeah.” You said simply. 

“I’m on six, by the way.” He said. “That’s why I was curious. I’ve never seen you around there.” 

“I’m not usually, I only really use it for sleep.” 

“Of course,” he replied. 

“I assumed you lived in a frat house.” You commented. 

“Nah, next year.” He said with a wink. “Speaking of frat houses, there’s kind of this party going on at Delt tonight-” 

“I’m aware.” You said, cutting him off. 

“Ah, well, if you want I can get you on the list.” You smiled to yourself. 

“No need, I’m already on the list.” You said. 

“Oh?” He said, clearly embarrassed. “Because of delta nu?” 

“Nope.” You said, not offering any other information. 

“Well maybe I’ll see you there then.” 

“Even if you do see me there, I will be pretending I don’t know you.” 

“Why?” He asked, clearly offended. “I run that house.” He joked, trying to play off the embarrassment. 

“No offense, but your reputation would not be good for mine.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“Well I have a certain reputation in the greek community, and if people see me with you they’ll get the wrong idea.” 

“The wrong idea?” He asked as you walked in the lobby of your building. 

“Well, see, the thing is,” you said, stepping into the elevator. He pressed the button for six and eight. “I have certain standards. If people see me with you, they’ll think I’ve…” 

“Wow, you are really uptight, aren’t you?” 

“Excuse me?” 

“Certain standards? Jesus christ, you’re not the queen, Y/N. And I don’t have a bad reputation. But god forbid I don’t live up to your ‘standards.’” He said, storming off the elevator without another word, clearly upset. You sighed. Good job, Y/N. 

Tom got to his room and threw his stuff on the floor, collapsing on his bed. His head hurt from all the tutoring, and trying to focus on not staring at your lips. 

delt juniors

Tom

aight important question guys

Cal

whats up tommy

Tom

do you guys know a girl called Y/N Y/L/N? shes a delta nu

Joey

dan knows her ;)

Cal

fuck, Y/N? what are you doing with her? 

Tom

shes tutoring me stop buggin 

Max

i know her which u know shes in hc with me 

Liam

oh danny DEFINITLY knows her 

Will

who doesnt know Y/N? shes a hot commodity

Tom

what do you mean? 

Cal

shes like the perfect girl next door, totally hot and so smart which just makes her hotter

Will

doesnt help that shes a huge fuckin flirt AND can hold her alc

Joey

dan is being suspiciously quiet……..

Dan

shut up joe

Liam

care to share with tommy your story with Y/N, daniel? 

Dan

i hate u all 

fine

i was like in love with her freshman year

and i thought she was into me too

and we made out a couple of times but nothing else

the second she found out i was in delt she stopped talking to me

like complete radio silence 

Tom

wtf? Why? 

Cal

she doesnt fuck with delts

thats like common greek knowledge

Will

maybe its because shes gonna be dchi sweetheart? 

Joey

nah theres gotta be something else

Harrison

well i just put her on the list for tonite

Tom

wait YOU put her on the list?! 

Harrison

yeah i invited her friend Emily Gold and she doesnt go anywhere without Y/N and these two other girls

Cal

Ally Park and Isabelle Miller

Harrison

yeah howd u know? 

Cal

theyre like those cool girls from high school everyones obsessed with that are just out of everyones league

Tom

wow american high schools are so weird

Dan

tom if u wanna get with her i wont be pissed

Tom

nah like you said she hates delts, and after three tutoring sessions with me i guarentee i am her least favorite delt ever

Liam

theres no fuckin way she shows up tonight

she wouldnt be caught dead at a delt party

Noah

wait you said Y/N Y/L/N may come tonight????

DIBS

DIBS DIBS DIBS

I CALL DIBS

Cal

noah u seriously show up just to call dibs?

Noah

yeah bro have u seen her? if she comes tonight and any of you try to cockblock me i stg ill deck you

Dan

pretty sure tommy has rightful dibs to this one

Tom

nah fam she hates me so fuckin much

let noah try his luck

i doubt she’ll even show

Max

she’ll show. 

Tom

what makes u say that? 

Liam

max does know her best

Max

she and ally and emily and isabelle are ride or die. they circulate who picks what party they go to and if its emilys turn and harrison somehow conviced her to go, Y/N wont miss it

Dan

she hasnt set foot in a delt house since freshman year, you seriously think she’ll show? 

Max

five bucks says she does

Dan

youre on 

Noah

i just wanna make it clear

that if she does show

D I B S

#tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland fanfic #tom holland fanfiction #frat!tom

[zanesgirlfriend]

Wind Tunnel Things | Jeff Wittek

Description: David and the reader try to convince Jeff to do something dangerous with her.

Requested?: Yes by @xxbabybluexx : can I request a Jeff imagine where David asks the reader to do something dangerous for the vlog and Jeff is all super protective and adorable and stupid

A/N: im so sorry this was so short, but my baby @jeffsbarbershop just posted two short little bullet fics, so if this wasnt enough jeff for one night, please go read those here and here.

_____

Everyone sat around David's living room as per usual. She checked her phone for the hundreth time, seeing if Jeff had texted her yet. He was at the gym, and she was missing his arm around her shoulder.

"What haven't we done in the vlog before?" David asked the room, looking for good video ideas.

"You've done everything." Natalie laughed a little as she remembered all the stupid things David's done.

"Have you gone skydiving?" Y/n asked, thinking of something crazy to do.

"Yeah, Liza and I did in Hawaii." David fell onto the couch.

"Imagine trying to shoot someone with a paintball gun while skydiving." Y/n was proud of her idea. David's face lit up.

"Natalie, find out if we can do that." She smiled as she pulled out her phone, looking up a local skydiving place.

"There's no way that would work." Erin said, bursting David and Y/n's bubbles.

"Why not?" Y/n argued. She paid no attention to Erin's response, too focused on the text she had recieved from Jeff.

Just got done. See you soon babe

She smiled as she replied, and she tuned back in to the conversation in the room.

"What if its in one of those, uh, wind tunnel things?" Zane tried to think of what it was called.

"You mean like indoor skydiving?" Carly corrected him.

"Ooh, that could work. I'm gonna look it up." David opened his laptop and started typing.

Jeff arrived within 30 minutes of his text, and y/n greeted him at the door. He grabbed her waist as they kissed, happy to see his girlfriend for the first time all day. He was freshly showered. His hair was still damp and he smelled of Old Spice. She took a deep breath, filling her lungs with the scent.

"Jeff, can y/n shoot you with a paintball gun?" David called him over to the couch. The couple sat down together as he formulated a response.

"Yeah, but you gotta train her, I don't trust her with that thing." Jeff rubbed her thigh, telling her that he was joking.

"Oh, yeah, real funny. Just remember who's gonna have the gun." She mocked as she lightly smacked his giant bicep. She probably couldn't even hurt him if she tried.

"Jeff, have you been skydiving before?" David asked. Y/n was curious too, it was one of the few things she didn't know about him.

"No, and I don't really wanna go skydivin' either." He said, warning David.

"Come on. I've been skydiving, and it's actually really fun." David was trying to convince Jeff any way he could. Y/n shook her head, remembering now that Jeff was afraid of heights.

"David, I'm not gonna jump out of a fuckin' plane. No offense, but only crazy people go skydivin'." Jeff asserted. David slightly smirked before responding.

"Your girlfriend is doing it." David glanced at her. Jeff immediately looked at her, wondering what drug she had taken.

"Tell me he's lyin'." Jeff's accent got thicker when he got wound up. She smiled and shook her head.

"No, it seems fun and I wanna try it. He's also paying for it so. . ." She left her sentence open, waiting for Jeff to give her what she wants. It was hard for him to say no to her, but he valued her safety.

"You're not goin' skydivin'. You could die." Jeff argued, his hands gesturing freely while he spoke.

"I could also die just sitting here, and I'll be strapped to someone who's done it a million times." She kept trying to convince him.

"You ain't gonna be strapped to no fuckin' muscley dude in a parachute, rubbin' his junk all on ya' and shit. No way." Jeff's mad face was cute. She loved the way his brow furrowed. She latched on to his arm, her face getting closer and closer to his.

"Babyyyyy, pleaseeeeeee!" She stretched out her words like a toddler. Jeff just stared at the blank TV. He struggled to not budge as his babygirl hung all over him.

"No." He was so close to breaking. He didn't want to make her upset.

"What if it's indoor skydiving? Then we'll just be floating around in a tube as I shoot you with paintballs. It'll be even more fun." She smiled, knowing he was cracking. He thought for a minute about how the tube was only so big and how nobody would be strapped to his girl, and he could still make her happy.

"Okay, fine. If you shoot me in the dick, though, I'm out." Jeff finally agreed, and smiled as he saw the excitement in his girlfriend's eyes.

#davids vlogs #vlog squad #david dobrik x reader #david dobrik imagine #david dobrik imagines #david dobrik #vlog squad natalie #natalie mariduena #carly and erin #carly incontro #erin gilfoy #zane hijazi #vloge squad imagines #vlog squad imagine #jeff wittek #jeff wittek x reader #jeff wittek imagine #jeff #jeff imagine #jeff x reader

[gothvince]

pls tell us more abt fake reboot lyds/claire?? i'm emotionally attached to this ship now too bc of you and lilliegoat

me and @lilliegoat are doin gods work by getting everyone to stan lydclaire (clairedia??? ship name needs brainstorming)

i wrote like a full fuckin episode plot and it’s so long and rambly i’m. so sorry im just PASSIONATE!!!!!

i have a claire/lydia bonding episode planned in which claire ends up stuck with lydia for a long weekend while her parents are away. beetlejuice comes up with a dumb scheme to make money and sets up this whole stupid summer camp kind of deal to make a quick buck, its super shitty and doesn’t go well and claire’s literally the only kid who shows up lmao. he regrets the plan immediately and he wants to just kick claire out to fend for herself for the weekend because He’s Beetlejuice And Claire’s Mean To His Friend, but lydia’s more kindhearted than he is and figures they cant just leave claire all on her own. because despite how much of a bully she is, she’s a person, and lydia knows what an emotionally distant father is like. so they reluctantly take her in for the weekend.

claire’s super angry/annoyed about it and acts super bratty (but she is genuinely acting out because like, her parents are neglectful and they left her on her own at this shitty summer camp or whatever while they go on a nice vacation together, and she’s hurt and upset and doesn’t understand why her parents never want to spend time with her). like. claire’s parents are super stuck up and they’ve instilled in her that anyone not on their class level is lower than them. the deetzes are rich, so charles and delia have some level of respect from the brewsters even tho they’re still looked down on, but they’re quirky and weird and that’s why they’re very much considered other, lydia especially. so it hurts her that her parents wld not only leave her, but also leave her with a family they all very much dislike. is she on the same level as the deetzes? do her parents think that lowly of her? what is she doing wrong?

so it’s rough for the first day. lydia and beej try a little to bond but they’re shut down immediately and since claires acting like a bully they just. decide they’re not gonna put up with it. so they go and hang out on their own in one of the stupid cabins beej built for this camp. and claire’s all alone, and she tries to convince herself she’s fine but she’s not. and she hears beej and lydia laughing - and she listens in, and they’re having so much fun and it hurts that she’s never had that, you know? like she has friends in the popular girls at school but they aren’t friends in the way beej and lydia are - they don’t do weird stuff and laugh at each other and stop caring what other people think. claire, in all of her relationships, is constantly trying to prove herself. but lydia and beetlejuice don’t have to prove themselves, or act like anyone else - they love each other for who they are. they dont need to change. claire wants that. claire wishes she could experience that.

so, y’know. she’s peering through the keyhole and watching lydia and beetlejuice (who by the way is disguised as betty juice for the majority of this episode, so claire is under the impression that betty’s just a normal girl however weird). and beetlejuice does something supernatural/demonic to make lydia laugh. and claire sees this, and she screams, and they realise she’s been watching them. so. lydia swings open the door and pulls claire inside and she’s like “you can’t tell anyone that beej is a ghost, claire, swear you won’t tell.” beetlejuice is being stupidly threatening in the bg and claire’s just fuckin scared out of her mind.

but she agrees not to tell, and then lyds asks why she was spying on them, and claire admits that she heard how much fun they were having and wanted to join in. and lydia’s shocked by this, but... honestly, she’s like yeah, okay. you can join in. and they teach her the game they’re playing and by the end of the night they’re all having fun and laughing! and the rest of the weekend goes like that!! claire learns to just be herself without caring what anyone thinks - she’s weird and funny and she absolutely loves making lydia laugh, and it’s a fun bonding experience all round. beej is a little reluctant to trust her, but he trusts lydia, so he and claire have kind of a ... shaky truce, where they dont particularly like each other but they’ll be civil and hang out for lydia’s sake. it’s good it’s fun it’s gay we love it.

aaaand then her parents come home. and they see their daughter, laughing and being friends with lydia and betty, dressed a little weird and tacky, just. being herself and having fun and they’re furious. they tell her in no uncertain terms that she better stop messing around right now, young lady, you’re a brewstery, we have a reputation to uphold. and claire dejectedly obeys. immediately switches back to her usual bully persona because that’s what her parents want, right? and they take her home and... that’s the episode.

after that, over the course of the next few eps, claire is back to being her usual self and acts like none of this ever happened. lydia, though, does her best to be nicer and more understanding, and tries to get her to let loose and just be herself because actually, she really fucking likes claire when she’s being herself. in another episode she joins a science project with lydia, bertha and prudence, and from that point it’s a fun slow burn enemies > friends > girlfriends kinda thing.

#fake reboot tag #s-aint-elmo