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errorwarblesrr · 4 months

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do you like totk or botw better?

In short: Yes, I like botw better.

Here are my reasons, though!

I know a lot of people view it as the better experience, which is completely subjective and valid if you do and like it better, but I just view botw as being better in almost every way.

I will give it to totk. The dungeons have a lot better atmosphere. The game has some extremely high highs with the build-up to the wind temple, the whole great sky island segment, and the final boss is a much better fight (though dark beast ganon has a better theme song imo).

Other than that, I prefer botw. Totk has a much grander story, but it's completely mishandled. You can argue that totk has a great story but has poor execution, and to me, execution plays a big role in what makes a story good. You can have good ideas bit it all falls apart if they aren't executed well which ends up making the story bad. It's not that totk has a good story with poor execution, it has good ideas but the bad execution leads to a poorly told story. (I hope that makes sense). Botw has less of a story and is more like a set of events. Botw has history and backstory that is told more organically. Link has amnesia so he slowly regains some of his memories of the past with some people trying to help fill him in. It feels more real...in a weird fantasy way. I guess totk is similar with how we see Zelda's memories, but not really? It's weird to explain. Everything 100 years ago is felt in present day botw while in totk most of those things don't really matter as it happened so long ago. Things only start to resurge because Zelda wanted to investigate under the castle. Totk also has twists like a story. Idk if this is making sense but that's how I feel on their stories. There was just not much botw could mess up on story wise as the way it was presented.

Gameplay wise I can not lie totk is technical marvel with the zonai tech. That's the most impressive thing about it. Tbh building contraptions isn't my thing though, it takes too long to make and experiment with a machine when I can just do whatever that machine was gonna do much faster. I see why people have a lot of fun with it though, it just isn't my thing. One thing I HATE in totk though is the amount of menuing I have to do. Elemental arrows had a serious downgrade. Yeah it's cool to fuse stuff to arrows, but not when I have to do it to ever single individual arrow and if I want to try something new I have to scroll past 50 other items in a single line. It's just tedious. If I want to use a good weapon I have to go to the menu, drop an item, and menu again to fuse it to a weapon that will still break. Item breaking is still an issue but it's more annoying and the weapons no longer look cool. Totk has some cool abilities, but idk I'd trade them all for remote bombs lmao. I hate going through caves, especially early game, and having to deal with the rock walls where they want me to fuse a rock to a stick 10 times to get through one cave. There's just a lot of little things gameplay wise that bug me. They doubled down on botws gameplay issues and added some more annoying ones. I don't even have to mention the sages abilities, that's a whole mess.

On the topic of gameplay, botw just has the better world. Idc, exploring that world for the first time is an unforgettable experience. Totks main world is too similar so the magic is gone. The sky and depths are also unimpressive and repetitive. Botw also has the benefit on how the word felt so lonely yet alive. Everything had a purpose or a story. The world has a history. And totk just doesn't have that. Outside of the upheaval, totk doesn't really build on botws world that much. I was hoping to see if they would've added new towns or see how they'd rebuild hyrule, but they really didn't do that. We only got lookout landing, which doesn't really count as a town, and a bunch of building stuff lying around which is cool I guess. Hateno has a school and Terry Town expanded a little, but with the estimate of about 5 years since botw it makes you wonder...what have these people been doing? We can theoretically build Terry Town in one day. There could be new towns.

Totk is a sequel that doesn't really acknowledge it's predecessor which is so odd. Botw stands on its own and is an overall more cohesive experience. Everything in the world feels purposefully crafted for that world while totk just slaps things on top of it with not much thought. Botw has some amazing world building while for totk it's either "the Zonai did it" or has some contradictory world building. For example, the old sages lifted up the sky islands so that Link would be protected from Ganondorf shenanigans, but then other sky islands suggest how they've been around long before Rauru since young Zonai used to train in them or something. There is also how Zelda says Link never leaves her side, but people she interacts with on an almost daily basis do not recognize him and how even treat as if he doesn't know some facts about her. So either she is overexaggerating by a lot and/or lying in her own diary or that people in hyrule have the collective memory of a rock. There's also Zelda supposedly never giving Link the champions leathers yet as a gift, but we see him wearing it in the beginning. Idk there's more contradictories, but I haven't experienced this for botw??? Totk is so disconnected and disjointed in comparison.

I'm trying to be vague but there's a lot to say, I'm sorry. I really was enjoying this game at the beginning but the more I played the more I noticed or saw things that bugged me and just kept adding up and up on each other. Botw was never like this for me. It's just more cohesive and I like that. There are so many other things I haven't brought up like the repetitive cutscenes, or missing characters/characters that SHOULD know Link but don't (namely Bolson and Hestu). But this post is long. I can't keep complaining about this game. Botw really is that one of a kind experience, and totk tries to replicate it but worse. Botw had a vine that totk lacks. You feel so alone, but you meet knew people and make friends. You build connections as you learn about the past and help those around you. There is no story, you're just a person going through the motions and exploring the vast world around you. Totk can't replace that for me. I'm the main character playing a side role in a disjointed world where not much makes sense. Everything is similar in all the wrong ways.

And most important of all, they took away Link's fun dialogue and personality now he really is bland asf and used to defend that he wasn't.

#asks #botw #totk #tatk salt #breath of the wild #tears of the kingdom #totk spoilers #tears of the kingdom spoilers #sorry anon this was asked a while ago but college and I was recharging my battery lol #uhhhh not going to proof read I'm sorry lol #I have so much to say but I fr cant keep ranting about this game #like I dont enjoy being negative but I have so many thoughts and feelings fjsnnfn #totk doesnt spoil botw for me it actually made appreciate what botw does well even more #ik people are getting tired of totk hate already but oh well #for awhile Ive been saying how Im so conflicted on this game but my final stance is I dont like it #coming out as a hater 🤩

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archerofunspeakablelove · 3 months

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Finished Russian Roulette. Feeling sick again

#god the way that White Carnation was almost certainly meant to invoke the scene where he tried to kill himself #especially since it's placed right after it #so it's like. it's like the lesson he's learnt from that pretty much #and if he couldn't save himself #(because really the chances of him dying in that scene was 100% there was just a 1/6 chance he would physically survive)#if he couldn't save himself maybe he can save this woman.#im going to throw up #and the fact that he just. never sees Hunter ever again? kills me #he trusted once and never again. it was better to forget Hunter meant anything to him at all #the fact that he just “Hunter died a long time ago” and that's that?? I'm screaming #he doesn't even care anymore. or maybe he does but he can't afford to #and the fact that White Carnation gets deleted after you read it. what's up with that? maybe he reads it and decides it's not wise to #have proof that his humanity is still there if not intact #I've just been liveblogging myself reading this book tbh #wild ride. 10/10 would not recommend on the basis of the psychological damage it dealt me #russian roulette #alex rider #yassen gregorovich

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autumnfangirler · 4 months

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ill be the first to admit that i dont interact with the gaa fandom as much as i should, so id be very glad to be wrong about this, but from my (admittedly very limited) observations in the fandom susatos talked about mostly in the context of a) other male characters(naruhodo, kazuma, mikotoba, holmes) or b) shipping. which is fine, it makes sense! shes not very attention grabbing in the game, and while she does have her goofy moments, shes not nearly as silly as the rest of the cast. shes more of a straightman than anything else. but shes such a good character and i really want to see more people talk about her so fuck it, were making the overdue susato rant ourselves gdi

major spoilers for great ace attorney under the cut and in the tags!

i think a lot of people see susato as a #girlboss, which is true and undisputed, but ive never seen people dig into why. personally what sticks out to me is how determined she is. its overshadowed by kazuma, but she Clearly learned a few things. she was willing to travel halfway across the world to work as a judicial assistant, and in kazumas death she helped naruhodo become a lawyer in his stead. she broke the law to help naruhodo win ginas case, a decision that tore her up so much she nearly resolved to quit. and of course she won a fucking courtcase at the age of 16 while succesfully pretending to be a man. when she has a goal in mind, shes seeing it through. shes consistently pulled naruhodo out of (rightful) uncertainty and hesitation with this mindset. she followed kazuma, and then naruhodo, to the ends of the earth because she truly believed it was the right thing to do. shes competent in her work, and shes firm without being unkind.

thats another thing about susato. shes one of the most emotionally mature characters in the games (games filled with adults– iris is probably one of the few characters who rival her in that respect). shes emotional about the things shes passionate about, but shes never overwhelmed by it. the only scene i can think of where emotions really did overtake her was at the end of the first game, where she nearly threw her judicial book into the sea. which is,,, still relatively reasonable? she broke the law and had to leave britain to go back to japan. she couldnt practice as a judicial assistant anymore, and nobody back home had a need for her skills as a judicial assistant. why would she need it anymore? in every other instance, shes polite, calm, and most importantly, the heart of the whole cast.

because while shes a great character on her own, her main role in the story is always in servitude to others– whether that be as holmes number one fan, iris' big sister, or naruhodos ever-reliable judicial assistant. we never get the sense as to why until the 4th chapter of the last game, where her backstory is finally revealed. with it, a lot of who she is is recontextualized. she never had a mother and her father left her before she could have any real memories of him. shes headstrong and driven because there was no direction for her. shes compassionate and polite because her only role model for her formative years was her grandmother. shes emotionally mature because she learned what loss was at a young age and how to live with it alone. and all of that translates to a young girl with a fire to help others in whatever way she can.

shes just,,,, shes such a good character man. i love her.

#fellas get yourself a girl who is So autistic #besties i got myself a little bit insane about susato in this post and now i wanna make a post detailing her relationships with the cast #and also go in depth about why her relationships come up that way #god i didnt even talk about why shes so insane about people #she is such!! a lonely 16 year old girl!!!#she loves people so much but everybody in her life keeps /leaving/#her mother died #mikotoba left shortly after #kazuma “died” as well #and then she had to leave everybody in britain again #i think susato choosing to join naruhodo going back to britain is a way for her to take a stand #and say that she /will/ stay. come hell and high water #no matter what life throws between the two of them #she will stay by his side #btw im not proof reading Any of this #if this is incoherent in the morning then. damn that sucks :/ oh well #susato #susato mikotoba #gaa #dgs #ramblings

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lecliss · 13 days

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I'll never be able to take the theory that Vincent is Sephiroth's real father seriously cuz I cannot stress enough how important I think it is to the plot that Vincent wanted to fuck Lucrecia and did not get to.

#once again i jest but now i have to actually talk about it #like. okay we have no proof of any actual timeline for the dirge flashbacks other than. it was at least 30 years ago #so who knows how long they were at the manor. could have been weeks before The Incident. or months. or maybe a full year! who knows #but to me a timeline of like. they fucked and like a week later vincent found The Evidence and lucercia had her little breakdown #AND THEN EXTREMELY QUICKLY SHE AGREED TO THE EXPERIMENT AND IT COULD GO ONE OF TWO WAYS #1. she knew she was pregnant and thats why she agreed to the experiment cuz there was already a usable subject #and therefore she must have fucked hojo like a week after she fucked vincent AND THATS STUPID FAST FOR THESE EVENTS #or 2. she didnt know. agreed to the experiment. fucked hojo. and therefore thought seph was hojo's and NOT vincent's #AND BY THE WAY. i dont even actually believe hojo fucked either!!! cuz theyre both scientists so why wouldnt they think IVF was the best way #okay. well.... hojo is canonically a fucked up little freak. so. he might have taken the opportunity to... get in there.#also when did ivf even start being a thing? cuz that may play a factor into this if nomura even considered that #well either way lets just unfortunately assume hojo got in there #ITS STILL AN ODDLY FAST TIMELINE #also. fuck man doesnt lucrecia have a later line in dirge where she actually says shes in love with hojo? or something along those lines #IMPLYING ITS BEEN AWHILE SINCE SHE HAD THE FALLING OUT WITH VINCENT. YOU WOULDNT FUCK THE GUY AFTER ALL THAT SHIT #AND WHILE CLAIMING TO LOVE/CURRENTLY FALLING IN LOVE WITH HOJO!!!! LIKE CMON MAN!!!! SHE SUCKS BUT SHES NOT THAT KIND OF A MESS #i dont think vincent would fuck her until they sorted out their issues anyway and that CLEARLY didnt happen.#its VITAL that that did not happen!!!!#its just. if vincent and lucrecia fucked. everything would have had to happen EXTREMELY fast within like a 2 week timespan #and im just talking about up to when vincent learns shes partaking in the experiment. it was probably another week or two until vincent died #SO. logically it must have been like #fall in love->learn about the gimoire incident->refuse to speak to vincent->get obsessed with hojo->fall in love(?)#and then thats where i think its ambiguous on did the experiment become an idea before or after seph started to exist?#like chicken or the egg ya know. experiment idea or sephiroth zygote?#that feels fucked up to say. im so fucking sorry to seph to talk about this. yeah sorry i have to debate who fucked your mom bro #god imagine telling him that. like not even as a reveal thing cuz he knows who his father is. just like as a sick joke. your mom joke.#NO OH M Y GOD I HAVE A QUESTION NOW #in accordance to him having a photo of lucrecia in ever crisis. after he reads that jenova is an ancient (incorrect btw)#does he think that picture is still her? what about when he takes jenova's body from the lab????#oh my god 30 tag limit. FUCK. i need like a rant blog for all this vincent talk now. my brain is going a mile a minute

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pettyprocrastination · 2 years

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of all the boys to notice when something is wrong with you, its Benny.

They're all smart. Intuitive and in touch with subtle shifts of behavior and emotion, but they are also men. Men with their own lives and hang ups that it may take a big to click in their brain that the little joke you made about yourself at lunch was more than you let on. But Benny is the first one, turning his head to you and frowning the moment the soft self-jab leaves your lips.

It’s because he’s the youngest, you think to yourself. Even after years of bonding and being through blood and tears and trauma with one another, there’s still a bit of that fear of being left out. Of just being Will Miller’s Baby brother that he feels the need to overcompensate by being there, by taking note of what upsets who and who likes what.

Which is why he doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t ask whats wrong because he’s noticed you’re getting quiet again and slowly slipping from outings and not texting at much, he simply grabs the house key you gave him and invited himself in with a box of pizza and cheesy garlic bread.

He ignores your complaints that “i had a long day at work” and “I still need to do the dishes” because he’s already setting the box on the kitchen island and putting away plate by your side. “if you wanna get rid of me, it’ll take more than some housework.”

soon after you're both sat on the couch, watching some movie he insists you’ll love because its stupid, but a funny kind of stupid. The movie drags on and you curl into his side. Neither of you say anything of it.

“You know I love you, right?” He asks softly. You look up and see that look of care and concern that makes you heavy with guilt. “we all do. But, you’re amazing. You need to realize that.”

You don’t trust your voice to not crack. Because everything has just been so much. Work and life and having to look at yourself in the mirror compared to other beautiful women and you just aren’t happy so you just wrap your arms around him tight and he pulls you onto his lap where you stay for the rest of the movie. Eventually you fall asleep, but he gently jostles you awake enough to lead you to your bedroom where you unceremoniously flop onto the mattress, making him laugh. He’s ready to leave until you stretch out a hand and make a grabbing motion toward him. He slips into bed with you, face curling into the crook of you neck and cold hands slipping above the back of your shirt which makes you grouch and grumble, but you keep him close to you nonetheless.

Frankie is next.

You come home to see him in your home. The second overly polite home break-in you’ve had in two weeks.

“You know, I didn’t give you guys keys for this, right?”

He’s in the kitchen, standing over a bubbling pot with a sweet faced little girl straped to his chest, who shrieks with joy and wiggles the moment she sees you.

“Yeah well, somebody wanted to say hello.” His daughter kicks her feet and does her best to escape the contraption keeping her stuck to Francisco’s chest, it isn't until you unclip it and pull her into your arms that she finally settles. “She wouldn’t even let me drive home, little tyrant.”

You press several loud kisses to her cheek that mage her squeal. “sounds about right.” He lifts a spoonful from the pot and holds it over to you, where you tentatively sip before humming. “That’s what I thought. Mama Morales’ recipes never fail.” He nods to his daughter, now making herself content with chewing on the collar of your shirt. “Why don’t you go entertain the little trouble maker while I finish up dinner for you? I made enough that you’ll have leftovers for some time.”

You see it again, that look of care and thinly hidden worry in those big brown eyes that make your own begin to tear up. “Frankie, I-”

He shakes his head. “It’s okay, bug.” He tells you softly. “I know.”

You bring his daughter into the living room, where you tickle her tummy and groan dramatically as she slaps you with her little hands until her father calls you in for food.

The warm food makes you comfortable. Sleepy and fuzzy in a way that a soft blanket does, it also makes you honest. As you sit next to Francisco and look at the sleeping little girl in his arms.

“It’s just. Hard lately.” You confess. “And it shouldn’t be. I don’t know why it is and I can’t-”

“It’s alright.” He tells you slowly. “You don’t need a reason for this, bug. God knows I understand. Just...” He looks off for a moment and you wonder if he’s remembering his own. The falls and rises, the dark nights alone where he felt like he would never begin to pull it together because of how fast everything was unraveling.

Maria shifts in his arms, smacking her lips in her sleep before settle again against his chest.

“Don’t try to do this alone, alright?”

You promise him as such.

Will takes you for a drive.

Driving with Will, you gather, is lot like driving with your father. He’s silent. IN the way that even with music playing, you feel like there’s something unspoken that hangs in the air and he’s hoping you head.

When his hand comes out against you as he stops suddenly, you hear it loud enough.

He doesn’t park until the sun is beginning to set and you see no buildings, only wide green fields and the occasional group of cows chewing at the grass without a care in the world.

You slip from the car and walk behind him as he opens the bed of his truck.

“Is this where you finally kill me?” He scoffs. “God no, if I was gonna kill you it wouldn’t be out in the open, bug. I’m not a fucking amueter.”

You laugh, he laughs as well.

“You wanna talk about it?”

You fall silent for a moment. “no, not yet.”

He nods. The pair of you sit in the bed of his truck, watching the sky bleed orange in a blissful quiet. Will wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you close, your head falls onto his shoulder.

“your brother broke into my house last week.” You tell him. Will chuckles in reply.

“I told you giving him a key was a bad idea.”

“I’m starting to think giving all of you a key was a bad idea. I mean honestly, you fuckers stay over at my house more than I do at this point!”

The pair of you melt away into a conversation about just how comfortable your couch is on his back and the prospect of him maybe-maybe getting a dog. On the drive back you ask him if he has any names picked out.

He tells you that he has five.

Santi is the last to say something of it, which isn’t unusual of him. The man is a flurry of pain and ideas that sometimes he can forget the people around him until he realizes that the only person he’s been talking to is himself.

You can sympathize.

He invites you over for dinner. Invites all the boys too. He opens the door to you standing there, holding a case of beer and whistles.

“You look like shit.”

“yeah well you aren’t exactly princess Diana either.” You smile as he pulls you into his arms. You feel comfortable, safe and wear in your chest when he holds you tight against him. Pope always gave the best hugs. When he pulls away he touches your arm and tilts his head.

“You doin’ alright?” “No.” You tell him honestly. “But I will be, eventually I think. I’ve got a uh-” You pull at a scab on your hand as you begin to sweat. “Therapy appointment next week. I think...it’ll be good for me.” Pope nods. Not necessarily happy with your answer but content. He motions behind him. “The guys are out back. Benny is talking about how we should start having movie night at your place now.”

“Oh for fucks sake.”

The night is spent in his backyard, listening as Benny very passionately makes his case that yes. Your house may be smaller than Pope’s but your couch is more comfortable and you aren’t fucking stingy when it comes to ordering food for the group. Will asks if this is why Benny welcomes himself into your home without warning every goddamn week. The younger millers confesses, adding “that and she’s prettier than the rest of you assholes.”

Will is bouncing Maria on his knee, blowing raspberries into her tummy that make her shriek with laughter and her father smile from across the lawn.

The entire night they all subtly check on you. Each bringing you a plate of food after the other, a small hand squeezing yours or a soft “you okay?” asked so softly you could cry.

A group of soldiers, all tittering around you like a bunch of mother hens without any chicks of their own to look after.

But you can’t complain. Of their little pricks and prods because its all done out of good intentions. Of care and concern and love for you.

Love.

You smile into your beer as you lift it up to your lips. An argument between Benny and Pope rings in the background, something about who Mari’s favorite uncle truly is, as you sit back and feel at peace, if only for a moment.

It was easy to forget, you probably would again. But your boys would always be there to remind you of just how much love they had for you.

#anyways #in a bit of a sadtime funk and im trying not to get stuck in it #wrote this as a lil sum sum #benny milller x reader #ben miller x reader #benjamin miller x reader #will miller x reader #william miller x reader #frankie morales x reader #catfish morales x reader #francisco morales x reader #santiago pope x reader #pope santiago x reader #whats popes full name btw i have no idea lmao #triple frontier fanfiction #not even going to indent or try to proof read cause im in a tizzy its been a weird mental day but have this #anyways i think benny is actually very clingly in a non visible way that comes from spending his childhood as hte tag a long friend because #he likes to hang out with will and his friends a lot #so hes like..hyper aware when something is wrong sort of #but also can be an oblivious fool #layers #frankie shows love via food and fixing things/getting groceries cause he's a very practical man

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siobhanory · 4 months

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nothing comes between me and my fanfiction drafts.

#in holes (untitled princess kenstew project) is at 7k now #making (a ten year old) is also getting off its feet.#like owen and sassoon is literally like. needs to be proof read and then its done im just scared of posting it bc. i dont even go there #(tomgreg)#my writing #succession

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musashi · 4 months

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now that the dust has settled and i am fully confident i was not in the wrong i can say for certain the funniest thing anyone has ever spitefully said about me post-friendship-breakup is "you made the conversation feel like a cross-examination"

#wordy wendy #DONT CROSS VON KARMA. PERFECTION INCARNATE #ok well maybe if you dont want your LAWYER KINNIE FRIEND to ACT LIKE A LAWYER #you shouldnt COME INTO THEIR DMS GUNS ABLAZING #with a LITERAL ACCUSATION backed up by SHODDY EVIDENCE #i have severe and repetitive trauma RE: being falsley accused on on the internet #do you really think i'm not going to keep receipts #do you really think im not going to know exactly where to find the evidence to refute that #prosecutor miles fucking edgeworth?#it wasn't even a FUN cross examination.#literally just 'you did that' 'no i didn't. heres proof.'#cool life protip its a lot easier to collab with people and have conversations with them #if you dont make up a fanon version of them in your head and then write fic about them first #like perhaps next time just act normal. instead of like a freak #no greater joy than reading the comments on that thread and seeing so many people use the word 'deranged'#like oh thank fuck i wasn't alone in thinking it. that WAS deranged. you are deranged.#and your sweet little softboi schtick will only last so long. enjoy it while it does #once more people see what's beneath it they won't stick around <3 fix your heart or live with that

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arcaneyouth · 7 months

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fnaf fans are always like 2 steps away from having reading comprehension but always miss the landing

#*watches my hour long video about how the books arent canon* hey that was actually solved in the books!#i dont know how to tell you this because clearly the last hour of infodumping didnt get it through to you but the books arent good evidence #i know most of the fnaf fandom is kids so withholding most judgement but also you are So Close #i want you to reread the story you told me 'solved' the mystery and i want you to point at where the conclusive proof is #spoiler: there is none because The Books Aren't Canon And Never Have Been #but even ignoring that the proof you are pointing at can also so easily be a red herring #i read over one of the stories and didnt feel like anything got proven because that couldve been fucking anyone because #the books are constantly changing names and scenarios to Imply things but never explicitly states anything #and i can reinterpret anything to be anyone in fnaf because The Names Have Been Changed #the books are NOT. SOLID. PROOF.#the books are beinf made to sell to kids who love fnaf and theorists who dont know better so they are written in ways that connect #to the games but cant state anything directly because theyre designed to sell not to give answers #im not gonna say youre being swindled but youre definitely a victim of clever marketing if youre treating the books like this #i highly doubt the book writers even know whats going on in the games half the time.

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sualne · 10 months

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been looking for jobs for three years and in the past two months ish I’ve gotten for the first time my first job interview and for a different job my first job essay.

(I did have an actual job as a comic colorist for like six months but nobody around me considered it a Real Job so I feel like I just never have a job even though I very much did.)

and each time, during the interview where I know realise I was kind of being explained the whole time why I wouldn’t get the job and at the end of the essay(which might not be the right word, like a day we’re your try out the job to see if you can do it) one of the reasons given why I wouldn’t be taken it was ‘we need people who can smile’.

(there were actual argument like being ‘too introverted’ and ‘not dynamic enough’. That last one is funny because i had another ‘almost pass out for no reasons’ moment right for break time (genuinely perfect timing) during the essay and while I was cold sweating and going blind on the bathroom floor I realised, if anyone ever know I have health issues I will never get a job. So being told I wasn’t dynamic enough a fourty something minutes later was straight up comedic).

Back to the smiling, my entire life since I was a literal baby I’ve been told I wasn’t expressing the Right Way. ‘If you feel a specific way you Have to emote this specific way, act this specific way and not do anything else otherwise you’re not actually feeling what you say you’re feeling, it means you’re actually lying, faking it or don’t know what you’re actually feeling because your not showing it the Right Way’ and obviously I’ve dismissed this my entire life because I was sure it was obvious and everyone knew that everyone exist differently and people don’t act the same. I kind of assume everyone that ever bothered me about it was some flavor of 1 having a day and decided to being weird about it to me or anyone else that was also not existing the correct way. 2 just kind of an asshole and therefor they’re opinion didn’t matter. 3 just kind of strange about thing and so be it, ´not my problem tho’ I thought.

But seeing how it’s an actual argument people have use twice now to refuse me a job I’m kind of being thinking, it might actually, for real, be a thing people actually are worried about, actually. Which is wild, but also make sense because people have very much for my whole life, to me and to a ton of strangers, made comments on folks not existing the proper way. Like how in horror someone being slightly off, slightly wrong, a little bit not how it usual should be is the trope of all time. And I love this trope, someone who’s voice is in differed from how they mouth work, someone who seems to not walk directly on the floor but just slightly above it. It’s fun and interesting.

Anyway, real life stuff, being told I’m not smiling enough is wild, like yeah I don’t smile much at all that’s a fact, and both job were about interacting with people and every time you go to a restaurant you’ll ear someone saying out of nowhere mean thing about people who work there. Insane things like ‘I don’t like the way they’re standing’ and over analysing someone expression and body languages when they’re literally just doing their job.

This post is kind of a mess but I had a point which was, I don’t understand people and why are so many mean for no reasons but I wanted it to sound less like a kid complaining and be more verbose about it.

And (this isn’t over yet) I did force myself to smile, like I very much did, I tried my best to be as pleasant and polite as possible. And being told again, this isn’t enough, just suck. Like I have to mask and hide and deal with so much I kind of expected that of all thing I was allowed to keep my face. Like people have bothered me about it my entire life and I’ve dismissed it my entire life because it just did not make sense and I couldn’t make it make sense(still can’t). But I’m genuinely at lost at what to do about it, if apparently I also have to change my face to get a job, that I need to exist the correct way in order to have the damn job in order to exist at all is all so, Not Good.

#long post #Im not proof reading this becaus I’ll miss typos either way but yeah been having a bit of a I guess more A Confusion rather than a crisis #but like. yeah. confusion yknow. sending resume all the time. rarely every getting a response and when you do it’s a automotic ‘you’re not #profile we want’ or ‘the employer has move on in the process’ of whatever. so the two time I actually got as for as actually going to #places to talk to people feels both like a huge progress and ?? adjective for what in the world can I do about all this #and like I said i did have a job and k was so happy because it was working on comic and I was ‘oh I’m doing my dream job I’m doing it’ but I #haven’t been able to find anything since. and no one think of it as an actual job and people keep treating my like an helpless child. like #I’ve been told I’m not allowed to stay home alone for a few days even though I’m 23 so I just. wtf at this point yknow.#edit: hehhhh fuck it let’s make this reblogable. his do talk deal with The Everrginf actually. I’d like to ear about it. nothing I can do #how do y’all deal with The Everything***#but keep sending resumes and wait.

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