#im not gonna stop reaching out to ppl i care abt | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

videostak · 9 months

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insaaane to me i mean i still need a lifetime of practice b4 i can rly even say i drive stick but like just being able to do it today felt like a huge relief like ok i can actually do it... AWESOME .. wanna take it as slow as possible cause unlike automatic if im not careful i really can get in a bad accident or just get stuck in the middle of the street all freezing up lol but like gonna keep driving to the record store as often as i can i mean i dont wanna waste money too much tbh but like wanna have somewhere to practice driving to then eventually go to the thrift which is gonna be actually tricky compared to automatic cause like theres a slope AND its where u have to turn from a big street so like the heat will be on lol but i dont plan to do that til like i really genuinely feel like ive gotten very comfortable driving to the record store n back. then after that once i can do that ill start driving to the mall which is a normal length drive of like 10 15 mins or so and doing that is like the test tbh to rly see how comfortable i am driving n how in sync i am with it. and then like oncei reach a point where i genuinely feel comfortable and safe driving in it (and more importantly handling slopes at like a full stop and just going up normal cause like theres a decent amount of slopes on the way to both swap meets) like once i got that down i can attempt to drive to the swap meets n stuff.. will probably use my sisters car still tho i mean like just to not get too cocky u kno and for running errands of course in the meantime but hope to eventually switch to using mines 100% of the time. i mean also rn my car has like no ac or cd player or aux or anything so if im going somewhere far id wanna like be able to chill tho also liek i rly try not to use the ac or anything when driving alone since its good to save gas n stuff i only use it when driving with other ppl so they dont complain abt it being too hot n stuff like when im by myself i roll the windows down soyeas but rly hoping i can get a cd player in my car and aux n stuff and listen to albums regularly n stuff :D well kidna cause thatd be real cool but also id be worried abt like having to switch discs n stuff when an album ends LOL well probaby wouldnt and would just listento an album on repeat for a ride regardless of how long it is or smthn .. i mean id probably also switch CDs like if its a real long drive like one album on the way there and one on the way back n stufff. anyways felt nice af driving today getting there and getting out of my car looking at it and locking it n stuff :) like since its an old car u actually have to lock it physically which is real cool i had to make sure all the doors were locked n stuff it was awesome. was paranoid the whole time while at the record store taht it was rolling away or smthn since that can happen if u dont park them properly like if u put it in neutral and the emergency brake doesnt work then itll just start rollin away so what u have to do is put it in first when u park like put the emergency brake and put it in first and turn it off with feet both on clutch and brake then u can not worry apparently but i was worrying like wondering if i had forgotten to do that lol.

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pinkseas · 11 months

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GOOD EVENING NIGHTY TO U ALYYY I HOPE YOU'LL HAVE A NICE SLEEP SOON or now as i type this immediately after. ur answer because i am in the Mood like YEEHAW anyway FIRST OF ALL SIRMA'AMMX SHANNON i hope u have the bestest day too like that is both Embarrassing and an honest surprise theres someone else reading our convos at all and i did,... stumble on this one comment someone wants to read more of my xiao deadge brainrot weve been throwing back and forth that u replied (more like me crying u crying back i wipe ur tears still crying cus its all from me my fault i did this to myself) and im like SHYYY but its all out in the open on tumblr anyway so we just. yeah. YeaghHFHEHDKDJFHDHHFHDJDJFH dies in a corner cutely PATCHES THE ONLY EVER that we can trust in the most honest answers regarding blake rwby and xiao genshimpact her words only that we hold like the bible amen 🙏

"i have sm respect for it esp as like a genuine coping mechanism and i cant really speak on fics for it but the thought of xiao specifically as a character regressing is so ??? i get it in Theory but in Practice." NO BUT I GET YOU i think the interpretation can still. maybe. be put into a good way though I Cant Really See It but if whoever does esp the fics then u cant rlly debate their reason its like any other screwed up hc ppl do so yknow!! "sometimes u just gotta write fics where you baby the fave and i look away from those in general out of personal preference but i am especially looking away from ones where its xiao" with all u wrote after like i can see the point of Babying Xiao but not him going actual baby and das not good at all,... cus all i do think abt esp if zhongli treats him is those two fics i told u that gets me so hard of the old man's willingness to care for him and how hes so gentle and patient and akfkfjshhxhshdh like THAT is the type of babying but not babying i can get by like YKWIM

"there's a difference between treating someone gently knowing their strength and capability and choosing to be soft regardless in a good, respectful way, VS flat out ignoring that persons capability and strength and treating them like glass and truly believing that they could shatter at any moment if thought of any differently." im gonna be fr i did use the second option but OFC ZHONGLI DOESNT IGNORE its the fact he Knows xiao can still be,... so fragile. like (skids back like im wearing socks sliding on marble floor) ur fic where lumine holds him like shes holding the world and he cries and cries and she holds him regardless,... that type of fragility. i dont know if you rmb me talking this but i mentioned abt some other brainrot abt xiao trying to move on after the events of the chasm and how the crew And lumine And zhongli play a part of it but i didnt say that while everyone has at least a piece of their worldview given to him abt grief and loss its ultimately abt xiao and zhongli going through their conflict of each other way back since rex lapis' death,... and in the end when they resolve it, xiao had been so. so fragile. like everything reaches his breaking point and he breaks. he misses the past he misses devoting his only purpose to rex lapis whos not rex lapis anymore he misses bosacius he misses his siblings he misses the adepti he couldnt even mourn properly. and zhongli lets him mourn. and its that moment where he cries it rlly shows how small he is to the world yknow. THAT kind of guilt of acting like a child but for a person like xiao that he genuinely doesnt realize nor have the power to stop it. (and all ur comments after it jsut hits so HARDDD SO REALL)

"I JUYST WROTE LIKE A WHOLE PARAGRAPH but it was super fucking rambly in a way that made NO sense whatsoever so it is gone now goodbye </3" NO WAY…. NAUR WAY U CANT JUSR DO THAT I WANNA SEE UR WORD VOMIT TO MY WORD VOMIT TOO u said it urself sumtimes u cant get entirely what im saying I GOTTA BE CONFUSED TOO SUMTIMES EQUIVALENT EXCHANGE shakes u like a piggy bank (and like yknow every single i wrote here is unfiltered. like. i just leave in all my nonsensical rambles cus fuck it its not like i can come back to it and it perfectly encapsulates how Not Sane i am in my thoghts and i must Let you Know)

i do not have the words or thoght to respond on the xiaolumi xiao and lumine one bc everythings there already ITS ALL THERE SO BASED SO REAL so. i cant say theyre perfect for each other for the exact reason i see flaw that theyre not. i think. pettiness flowing through me that i personally see their development slow that i dont vibe with others' praises abt how glorious they are as a couple but not in how i see it KFHSHFHEHFJJEJFJ "made for each other" "their souls are fated to be together" can be so Eck to me its funny that it sounds like i hate xlmi too when i can go 30k words on it WAHAHKDJHSH am thinkinf abt ur latest post instead when the two are brought up bc my brain goes fast melts fast like putty i cannot Bother going back sumtimes but i Will Try

"idk how they put up with me fr" NO BUT. NO i also cant believe how you put up with me especially with that many paragraphs and over explaining and extremely specific views of xiao and lumine and zhongli and everyone else i drag in bc i do doubt if i am being so nitpicky abt it when i mention the gnsn commu's common views on it KFHSHFHHSHFH like, being around the community in twt or at least trying to be at the sidelines can be so. draining. that u see sm stuff that contradicts how u think and it makes u a little irritated if not scared u feel like ur the only one with this thought u feel left out. so like. its kinda ironic i found who can get me outside of twt HAJFKSJFJ

"it takes xiao and lumine a long time to develop a very close friendship" has been important to me for a long time since i knew their potential, and ive been doing this even before them like 😭😭😭😭 exploring love in a way that it isnt romantic love. that it doesnt have to be them kissing to make them official, that their close friendship is that fruitful result they grew which makes it personally hard to me that them being a couple and doing sims woohoo feels like its lost entirely for that "new stage in life". and i do take them realistically i do try my hardest to make them make even a little sense bc i want them to be as human as they are, although they were never human in the first place. not just exploring abt live but exploring abt how humanity works in teyvat,... about how to live,... and that matters sm to me ughghhdh post-teyvat where they do kinda maybe be 'official', but thats after all the hardship all the misunderstandings they went during teyvat. during conflict. and once everythings peaceful do they try to let go and make their bond simply work and THATS SO IMPORTANT TO MEEEE

though dont take my pov too heavily bc i did have my moot who knows abt my xlmi views and how i speak them so delicately and aggressively (gentle) passionate that theyre even cautious abt speaking their ideas to me i felt legit bad 💔💔 like SURE THEYRE SUPER IMPORTANT TO ME i would fight anyone who wants to rebuke my ideals but not those who just wants to be around and share the sillies with me like AUGH I HOPE THAT THIS IS EVEN A LITTLE BIT COHERENT TO U SKSKHFJSHFHD

"me sitting here like a small child drawing them as stick figures holding hands and smiling “and then they were BEST friends <3” I MEAN WITH ALL THE SHT I SAID I DO THIS TOO FR sumtiems u get super analytic like a scientist lookijg thru their science thingamajigs to cure cancer sumtimes you go goofy ahh my blorbos i think theyre very neat tgt and we're so real for that <33333

GOOD MORNING BESTIEEEEEEEE <3333333

"(more like me crying u crying back i wipe ur tears still crying cus its all from me my fault i did this to myself)" NO BC THIS IS SO REAL LITERALLY

"PATCHES THE ONLY EVER that we can trust in the most honest answers regarding blake rwby and xiao genshimpact her words only that we hold like the bible amen 🙏" patches says xiao genshin impact is the only man ever and honestly i agree

"like THAT is the type of babying but not babying i can get by like YKWIM" I KNOW WHAT U MEAN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"im gonna be fr i did use the second option but" NO BC LIKE i didnt word that right i know what u mean and like. idk. u dont do it in a bed or weird or disrespectful way yknow ???? you do it Right you do it so fawking well it makes me so insane and for what

"and in the end when they resolve it, xiao had been so. so fragile. like everything reaches his breaking point and he breaks. he misses the past he misses devoting his only purpose to rex lapis whos not rex lapis anymore he misses bosacius he misses his siblings he misses the adepti he couldnt even mourn properly. and zhongli lets him mourn. and its that moment where he cries it rlly shows how small he is to the world yknow" o(-( crying shaking bawling sobbing GODDDDDDD i see it. i see the vision i get it i Understand dear fucking LORD im so. explodes. learning to live for yourself missing the simplicity of the past missing those youve lost it is all So Fucking Hard and for what !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"shakes u like a piggy bank" DORRYYYYYYYYYY next time that happens i wll just keep the paragraph i pinkie prommy <333333 just for u bestie anything for u bestie

""made for each other" "their souls are fated to be together" can be so Eck to me" BIGGEST HANDSHAKE EMOJI EVER its so weird like sometimes in writing specifically i really love it but its one of those like. i appreciate it when its Not Real but if it were ever real or if ppl ever truly believed that other ppl or any charactesr were 'made for each other' or 'fated' i would expldoea nd die /neg ITS SO WEIRD i cant Properly describe how i love it a lot in specific ways but then hate it so bad in other ways its soooo. man

"i also cant believe how you put up with me especially with that many paragraphs and over explaining and extremely specific views of xiao and lumine and zhongli and everyone else i drag in" are u kidding me ur paragraphsg and explaining are the Best Things Ever In The Whole Entire Universe i adore and cherish it every single time without fail. something something not "putting up with" or "dealing with" just love just care <- doesnt know how words work or how to describe things

everything abt the way u talk abt xiaolumi is so. pleading face emoji x1000000000 im just. smdnfmsdngnfdkg GOD

"like SURE THEYRE SUPER IMPORTANT TO ME i would fight anyone who wants to rebuke my ideals but not those who just wants to be around and share the sillies with me like AUGH I HOPE THAT THIS IS EVEN A LITTLE BIT COHERENT TO U" no i know exactly what you mean dw !!!!!!! and its weird for me specifically/personally bc like. on one hand im still working on The Thing where if Someone I Care About has an opinion thats different from mine my instinct is "oh, my opinion is Wrong and theirs is Right" and that used to be SAURRRRR bad and there's a little bit of influence still BUT!!!! character growth character development i am so much better at keeping my own thoughts and hcs now and not twisting and changing them the split second someone says otherwise...... like the past few months especially ive gotten SO good at it its unreal i feel like an actual person now. and like i fully understand the fear of "oh no what if i make them feel like they cant talk about THEIR thoughts" but w/ us specifically too its like. i love hearing about your thoughts So Fucking Much whther theyre super similar or super different from my own, and partially bc of that i am 100% ok with sharing my own thoughts even if i feel like they're silly or know they'll be different from yours. idk if you were like a Stranger stranger (which is so funny to say all things considered) id probably be all polite but in the bad way where i listened and then agreed and didnt give my own thoughts but its YOU so i give all of my own thoughts i give every thought ive ever had and i feel totally comfortable doing so <- word vomit paragraph bc im delirious but im also too delirious to reword it into somethign more coherent dorry </333

"sumtiems u get super analytic like a scientist lookijg thru their science thingamajigs to cure cancer sumtimes you go goofy ahh my blorbos i think theyre very neat tgt and we're so real for that <33333" REALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL we literally are so real for that. man. i love that for us sm <333

ANYWAYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS i hope u have been doing well i hope ur day today goes amazingly i hope u get some good rest tonight or maybe during the day idk i hope school stuff is going well and finally if anything goes wrong or bad i am beating it up with my tiny baby fists peace and love goodnight <3

#parasocial bestie tag

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comrade-bastard · 2 years

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mfw my moms been in the hospital for the past month and I cant even get ppl who've known me for literal years to ask if im doing ok. I'm not doing ok but who cares to ask about that (:

[[MORE]]

i know its not their jobs but man, i was literaly there for a lot of them when they were going thru their respective shit and it feels kinda bad to know that ppl who have known me for less than 6 months are making more of an effort to care than people who knew me before I knew how to tie my shoes (7th grade babey!!).

It's just hard to think about, but it feels like my old friend group never really cared about my wellness beyond very surface level Care you'd expect to have for a stranger. I don't think any of my friends care to the same level that I do, and I know that comparing is stupid and only causes pain, but i really do love my friends when they barely even like me enough to make sure I havent offed myself yet lmao. Kinda hurts to see all of my recent dms coming from people I've only just recently begun to get close to, because I cant ask someone whos known me for < 4 months to emotionally support me (because thats uncomfortable and i want to receive emotional support from people I'm close to but can't).

And like, I really can't ask my lifelong friends to emotionally support me because how the fuck do you ask that without coming across like an asshole and putting those friends in a position where they either have to force themselves to pretend to care (will resent me) or they have to blatantly say no (which they aren't going to do bc it'll make them look bad). Like, there's only so much I can ask for! And I know I'm not gonna get it! It's not like I've been hiding my emotional struggles, my loneliness, and my issues with my life. They've literally SEEN me venting and posting abt it. I just wish they'd ACTUALLY reach out and at the very least PRETEND to care. Ever. At all.

At least when they were blatantly lying to my face, they were doing it to be kind. When they told me they were there for me, it wasn't true, but at least it made me feel better. Sure, it hurt later on to realize it was just empty nonsense, but at the very least it worked to placate me. Where is that kindness now?

I'm tired of being the person who puts in effort bc as soon as I have a life crisis and can't put in as much effort, they ghost me and drop me. When I stop reaching out first, they don't even notice I'm gone.

I'm just genuinely so alone rn and it's just getting worse and everything happening in my life just proves my ultimate realization: I'm just not worth the effort. Never have, never will be. People only ever put in energy when they were bored and had nothing better to do. As soon as I became an Inconvenience, i was thrown away. Im tired of being thrown away.

#tbd probably #xoxo if u are my siblings friends and see this? no u dont ❤️🥰#genuinely grateful of the friendships i have made the past 5 months tho #just. not the same as getting support from a yearslong friendship n stuff

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cattles-bians · 3 years

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exes au part 11

post directory

obsetress: i'm about to fully fall asleep but i have been thinking about exes au danvi and like the isabel of it all and dani dating a single mom and how just like

obsetress: vi is so protective of isabel and as much as she loves dani like

obsetress: she took SO LONG before introducing her and then like

obsetress: when they broke up dani left and dani wasnt in isabels life anymore and dani was so good for isabel and viola just feels so fuckin shitty and blames herself and

obsetress: but i'm also thinkin bout soft fluffy stuff too like how much dani loves isabel and how much vi loves watching isabel w dani and

em: hey hannah what the fuck

obsetress: isabel has a nightmare one night and goes to her mom's room and dani's there too and she just curls up between them

em: do you think when they finally reconnected dani was like hey um. does isabel remember me. would it be weird if

obsetress: FUCK

obsetress: this absolutely happens

em: viola is VERY apprehensive at first

obsetress: god yeah esp after getting so hurt by it but

obsetress: viola sure cannot say no to dani!

em: i love some dani with kids tho

em: maybe too soft but do u think for at least a couple years dani would like. send isabel a bday card

em: like dead air otherwise

em: hmm idk i am chewing that one over more

obsetress: god it's hard i think dani wants to but she doesn't

obsetress: i could see dani writing them and holding onto them

em: oh that’s even worse

obsetress: even tho she really doesnt think she'll ever talk to vi again

em: what a soft and depressing thought. thank u. i resent u.

obsetress: yeah it hurts!

obsetress: but then she does! and she gives them all to isabel when she's older maybe

em: hold on i’m gonna bawl

em: sometimes my parents will be like um. do u remember this person and i’m like uh i don’t remember people i worked w two years ago let alone

em: but i think isabel does

em: i will be thinking about this all afternoon bestie have a wonderful slumber

[em note: em yells in hannahs DMs while she's asleep dot png]

em: no um. mate im still furious about the isabel of it all wtf

em: thinking about um. like ok i dont wanna use isabel as a prop but this is certainly one of those times where

em: violas been hurt before and viola's hurt other people before because she's deeply troubled and i feel like that would be one of the first times she sorta. sure she licks her wounds and feels miserable for herself but its also like uh

em: really sobering to realise This Hurts Isabel Too

em: because yknow violas very gatekeep gaslight girlboss i think shes got a strong enough sense of self that nothing really shakes that. maybe even to a deluded degree. i dont think she goes to therapy because shes like wow im fucked up i gotta get help, she's more like

em: shes really driven by her love for isabel!! gestures WILDLY

em: realised this is an au where parents get therapy and dont pass their traumas onto their kids and i want OFF this WILD RIDE im so tired of discovering things about myself through the realm of fiction

obsetress: yeah same i kept thinking about it too alfkadlsfkjdasf

obsetress: i want to reply to every single line of the isabel thing but i'm not gonna do that so let me just say: YEAH

obsetress: like isabel is her cornerstone full stop everything comes down to isabel

em: dani's probably so nervous reconnecting w isabel again. absolutely spinning her lil wheels

em: they set up a lil date and time and dani's doing her gay nervous babble abt if isabel even remembers her or god forbid resents her n jamies like...

em: im pursing my lips as i draw a line on the whiteboard between jamie's whole childhood and isabels and shaking my head Goddamn It

em: jamie lets dani babble it out n pauses and reflects on what she's saying n then jamie's like. the fact ur nervous means u care. n kids are v good at picking up when ppl care. you'll be alright.

obsetress: god yeah this bit i can just. hear it

obsetress: it's so visceral

---

em: viola

obsetress: god my favorite taurus hedonist

[em note: hannah yells in em's DMs while em is asleep dot png]

obsetress: god fuck what was i thinking about isabel this morning like

obsetress: that's what i get for daydreamin between snoozes and not writing it down alas

obsetress: but just like how excited isabel is to see dani again when she does and also like, isabel and rebecca

obsetress: then i started thinking about

obsetress: rebecca and vi getting married and vi's always like i'm not gonna get married again it's bullshit and rebecca's like it's not for me but then they just

obsetress: like they live together and they share everything and rebecca looks out for isabel just as much and they get to a point and it's like

obsetress: oh. oh

obsetress: like they're both like it's the logical thing to do. it's logical and it's safe and we should have this extra layer of protection but also it's like

obsetress: they find themselves more and more excited a lil you know? and just thinking about how isabel's there and how excited isabel is and

obsetress: but god yeah what i was thinking about this morning like. one day vi has to tell isabel dani's not gonna be coming around anymore and like

obsetress: isabel doesn't really understand and she's so sad and then vi feels even shittier

obsetress: and she's like "we'll be okay. it's you and me, remember? moving mountains"

obsetress: "you me us, right?"

obsetress: the first time rebecca meets her she brings her a book as a gift and is like "this was one of my favorites" and

obsetress: OH I REMEMBERED

obsetress: so like when dani sees isabel again finally (and yknow as nervous as dani was vi was even more on edge because it's so inconsistent and is she gonna understand yknow? and the two of them just spiral––which is also another thing about the two of them in a relationship! i think they push each other down spirals)

obsetress: jamie's there too and dani's like "this is... this is, uh, jamie" and it's like you said jamie isabel parallels and so jamie's like a lil tender

obsetress: spoiler: isabel and jamie end up bonding the most

obsetress: jamie's like running around with isabel on her shoulders and then showing her all these plants and taking her to gardens and

obsetress: another tentative jamie vi alliance

em: isabel mikey hangout When

obsetress: isabel mikey hangout!

obsetress: they're hanging with isabel and she and jamie have a very spirited discussion where isabel's like "i wanna be a princess" and dani's like "why not a knight?" and jamie's like "why not opt out of the feudalistic hierarchy entirely and ditch the kingdom for the high seas?" and convinces isabel to go full pirate

obsetress: and then isabel kinda passes out with her head in jamie's lap and jamie's just kinda idly playing with her hair (vi is already like "am i... attracted to jamie in this moment?")

obsetress: and jamie's like "y'know, i should bring mikey round next time isabel's here" and viola's like "......who?" and jamie's like "my little brother? mikey?" and viola's like "right.... right"

obsetress: cut to later, when dani and jamie have retired to vi and becca's guest room: "since when does jamie have a little brother?" "she always has, babe"

em: kinda obsessed w like. violas love for isabel means her wires get crossed when the surly gardener is Good With Kids

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: mikey and isabel immediately hit it off i think

obsetress: a bit of an odd couple because i think isabel is definitely, like, her mother's daughter and mikey is............. mikey

obsetress: but i think they meet in the middle and help each other grow and play pirates together

em: viola is like. of course mikey and isabel will get along. isabel is wonderful. but jamie is quietly Sweating about the whole thing

em: so damvibecca are having their afternoon tea and their little cakes and jamie is Quietly sweating and she’s like ‘quiet is good, right? like they’re not tryna k-‘ and then there’s the sound of two 8 year olds (idk how old they are tbh) YELLING as they chase each other down the hall w wrapping paper tubes

obsetress: nervous babbling dani x quietly sweating jamie, an otp

em: isabel has gotten into the make up n given them both black eyes n scars and moustaches n everyone’s like oh no how’s viola gonna feel about this but viola is DELIGHTED

obsetress: dani's like "chill you all she's gonna––" and then viola is getting up and asking them to do her face too

em: made a parrot outta a sock and newspaper

obsetress: viola playing pirates w isabel and mikey

em: kids w their endless creativity n absolute disregard for personal property is truly a thing of dreams

obsetress: mikey gives her a paper tube and she disarms isabel, takes hers, and offers it very seriously to jamie

em: cuteeee

obsetress: rebecca's giving dani a look and dani is completely unfazed and reaching for another tea cake

em: absolutely unflappable dani clayton

em: dani and rebecca sharing a Look like hey have you ever seen her this gleeful

obsetress: there is something very tasty about jamie taylor having a direct hand in making viola so gleeful

em: takes a village!

obsetress: when viola's two big loves are sitting five feet away from them both

em: everyone changes everyone for the better

em: fucken soft ass chat over here

obsetress: everyone changes everyone for the better

obsetress: soft as hell

em: thesis statement everyone likes each other so much (jamie pretends she doesn’t)

obsetress: (jamie pretends she doesn't) (jamie might like everyone the most)

obsetress: viola registers mikey for isabel's school n pays full tuition

em: oh my god

obsetress: jamie is horrified and refuses to accept it and viola waves a hand and is like "too late, deposit's non-refundable"

em: (they carpool)

obsetress: PLEASE

obsetress: oh god and like

obsetress: flora and miles go there too

obsetress: full circle complete

em: broke: highschool au woke: guardians of primary schoolers au

obsetress: dani jamie in bed jamie's like "you don't...... think it's weird?" "hmm?" "mikey going to.... school with our boss' kids?" "why would that be weird" "i dunno" "he also goes to school with my ex's kid" "he's best friends with your ex's kid" "and that's not weird, is it?" (grumbles) "not anymore" "so why would this be?"

em: jamie’s ribbing mikey for his silly tie and straw hat but she teaches him how to tie a tie and also she keeps crying for some reason???

obsetress: oh fuck

em: mikey: can’t i just get a fake tie >:/

jamie: no because when u have a real tie you can leave it untied a little as an act of rebellion

obsetress: god it's jamie crying for me

em: i love that big baby

obsetress: so much!

em: jamies like idk what’s gotten into me i never cry n danis like. raises one eye brow and mentally checks off all the times jamie has absolutely bawled watching a movie

em: not even a sad movie

em: dani plays along

em: maybe ur getting soft in ur old age jamie

obsetress: jamie i cry three four times a day five if i'm being honest taylor

em: thinking about their weekly weekend lunch w damvibecca and hannah and owen and miles and flora and

obsetress: dfjsldkfjslfslfj

obsetress: god big found family

obsetress: you know viola doesn't like

obsetress: dani and jamie respectfully toe around whatever the fuck owen and hannah have going on but viola just does not suffer it. she's so blunt to them

em: big viola grin and all ‘owen, hannah, i assume you will be each other’s dates?’ (owen chokes on his tiny egg sandwich)

em: hannah grose is serene and unreadable as she dabs a bit off yolk off owens moustache

em: maybe even a bit pleased

obsetress: everyone is always so tense when viola and hannah get together because neither of them take shit yknow

obsetress: and everyone's like "which way is this gonna go"

em: god. peak snarky broads

obsetress: but usually they end up good. two apex predators where one is a lil vicious but the other is so confident in its status that it just chills

em: they have the Best gossip

obsetress: would love to sit in and listen as they drink tea and gossip tbh

em: viola presses owen on hannah and he goes red and viola presses hannah on owen and she does a little wouldnt-you-like-to-know into her tea

em: viola nee willoughby and hannah grose friendship is. truly something i never knew i needed until now

em: they’re both just that lil bit older than the rest of the gang too

obsetress: an important coalition

obsetress: hannah grose! hannah looking out for rebecca and that's the couple times she gets a lil testy w vi

obsetress: mikey and isabel besties but flora and mikey get along really well and isabel and miles do too i think

em: the sheer chaos of a taylor-lloyd-windgrave story time

obsetress: LDKFjKLSDJF HELP

obsetress: taylor lloyd wingrave story time

obsetress: jamie suddenly very invested in story time

obsetress: dani's like "i know this is the first time you've actually cared about story time, babe, so let me give you some pointers"

em: i was just in my head thinking fondly about like. jamie is a drop out and plays a lil dumb sometimes for fun but also prolly reads a lot especially to mikey and now i’m like. wait i’m talking to Ms Floras Two Moms herself

em: idk if i had that headcanon before i read she taught me a lesson alright but yknow what! doesn’t matter it’s a beautiful one

obsetress: thank youuuu i love it a lot

obsetress: jamie big reader is generally one of my fave headcanons tbh i'm glad it seems to be widely accepted. can't even explain why it's just nice

em: sometimes i will talk 2 ppl about my passionate drop out jamie taylor belief n then they’re like but she’s smart (it’s only happened a couple times hahsj) and i’m like these aren’t mutually exclusive!! this is my very biased experience but my friends who do manual labor for a living seem to read so much more than my friends who don’t

em: your brain wants to chew over things while the hands are workin i reckon

obsetress: yes yes yes yes yes

obsetress: i think that's also like (sighs heavily)

obsetress: symptomatic of hegemonic perceptions of the working class

em: i love when u sigh heavily it’s always a fun take

obsetress: i think jamie is v clever and reflective and like if there's one thing i've learned getting older it's

obsetress: smart doesn't matter i think the most insightful most thoughtful people are the most reflective ones

obsetress: like none of it fuckin matters just be a nice person

#in which hannah says hegemonic perceptions of the working class and i pretend its foreshadowing vampire au #the dani jamie viola rebecca exes au #LONG one its like #2500 words which is #yknow! some pages #idk what counts as long all writing is witchcraft to meajhfjbnk #ik i should be pacing these a lil better but #i just wanna get up to vibeccas wedding im IMPATIENT

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alphaketoglutaricacid · 4 years

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@onehithero said: also we know theres at least some actual animals besides gadoll liek the scorpion n cows tht show up for a sec in ep 1 so tankers hav tht going for them re: food sources ..SORRY FOR RAMBLING SO MUCH deca dence essay got sleeper agent activated

onehithero said: i rly like what usaid abt kabu from natsumes pov too but i cannot form a half cohernet thought abt tht one

onehithero said: ALSO ALSO i think its interesting how the ep 8 conversation w minato is i think the only time kabu talks abt being jealous of humans being able to choose their own paths

onehithero said: also how minatos convinced hes like a good lil cog in the machine yet hes done 50 things tht wuld get him labeled as a bug but he just ignores all tht. the both of them can be so disconnected w reality

onehithero said: like minato didnt know abt 1)natsume 2) how the system has made kabu so severely depressed n he culdnt put up w it anymore.n minato continues pushing the just go along w the system shit he doesnt understand tht he was contributing to kabus misery.. n bc of tht kabu doesnt trust minato enough to tell him abt natsume for so long but then he goes n asks smth so big of him as go against the system

onehithero said: thinks abt how kabu n minato r obviously so important to each other but minato understands him less n less over time & kabu kinda already knew its risky to confide in minato like minato did know abt pipe which was a long time ago but he didnt know abt natsume til kabu was already sacrifing himself for her sake. n yet kabu then goes n tries to get him on his side anyway cuz he wants tht so badly..

onehithero said: OMG OMG CHEWS THESE WORDS SLOWLY N THROUGHLY SO DELICIOUS THANK U THANK U u get it u understand i love reading n writing essay lengh responses abt deca dence & again u just hit the nail on the head w this

Please let me know if this @ u 8 times and sorry if it did. I will reply under this readmore but i love this enthusiasm! I like discussing this stuff so if u want keep it coming. I wanna understand deca dence better and i think i will by sharing ideas w other ppl.

I think kabu and minatos relationship is as good as it is because theres clearly a lot of mutual love and respect between them even when they don’t understand each other and thats why minato still runs after him when he hears kabu going suicide mission lets go baby. I think its interesting that minato was like ready to lie down and accept getting mass scrapped until he hears kabu go im about to be hilarious and hes like actually living and staying alive sounds great actually forget what i said about it being over. you are so right about kabu and trust and natsume. I will always cherish episode 5 where kabu gives this big rousing speech about how natsume inspired him and saved his life and minatos there like ..who? ..what?? I think they may not be used to hiding things from each other. Also I think them drifting apart mirrors natsume and feis drifting apart tho I think while feis the instigator on that side kabus more on his side and minato like natsume is like wondering what in da world is going on. I think someone else wrote about this better than I can.

I do think minato does know kabus severely depressed because theres this line in ep 4 where he puts his hand on kabu and says like you’ve toiled enough at that awful job. and also in episode 11 when he and kabu talk and kabu says he was in a similar place as minato now in that he was waiting every day to be scrapped minato has no reaction until kabu says but that bug saved me. I think he knows kabus very depressed but he does not know how to address it cuz the system never gives either of them the tools or options for it. Though also I feel the system discourages meaningful relationships between the cyborgs so I think what minato and kabu have is likely pretty rare. Kabu donetello and turkey also fought together for a long time but turkey turns on donetello in a second even tho they fought together, he was his number two, and they were in prison together, and were pretty much all they got and donetello kills him in turn. I also think minato probably knew because he’s empathetic. Like I’m not sure about compassion but he’s very good at understanding where other ppl are and how to meet them in the middle so both parties get something they want. That’s how he got all the gamers to collect the old deca dence parts. Not by cashing in on ppl doing the right thing but by framing it as the final mission. He gets his lgbt community center coworkers for fight with him one last time by appealing to their sense of duty. He got the system to put kabu in jail instead of getting scrapped when Mikey got scrapped for a lesser offense. The list goes on. A tangent but I think the fact he acknowledges the living conditions of the humans are gonna get worse if nothing’s done even tho he’s apathetic at best towards them shows even when the system tries to mold the cyborgs into the roles it wants, sometimes the traits they have just keep on going despite themselves. I’m gonna stop myself before I go into jill and this theme but I’m gonna talk about it someday. So I think its more likely than not he knew but he didn’t know how to navigate around it also because it’s heavily implied he’s going thru the same thing and I think kabu might genuinely have no idea Bc kabu lacks empathy but his heart... is huge. When he hears minato express his feelings of not knowing what he wants he instantly tries to reach out and explain minatos not alone in what he feels. This is why they’re good foils. while kabu moves past where he was in the start where he states he does not intend to oppose the system and his compliance while also trying to do the bare minimum drives him to suicide, and finds the willpower and a reason to live and rebel against the system through his connection to other people (first natsume , he hangs out w kurenai sometimes too, and then with the jail robots). Meanwhile minato whos stuck in his literal ivory tower (it’s a Metaphor) never makes any of these connections. It’s the irony of kabu working at a armor repair job giving him some ability to connect w others vs minatos higher position isolating him from everyone else. I think kabu living amongst the ppl he harmed drove him to give up on life quicker, while minato being far apart shielded him from rlly having to see the effects of his actions I think he was headed a lil slower in the same direction. I think we’re led to believe minatos okay where he is but I think towards the end it’s clear minato has spent most of the series also in a bad place. I think he views things very similarly to kabu in that he wants to use what power he does have to protect the ppl he cares about similar to how initially kabu tried to just convince natsume to quit several times and he was like whatever at the rest of the humans who are natsumes comrades dying but he chooses to put it all on the line and try for some systemic change when he sees natsumes determination to fight. Also I think minato holds very little loyalty to the system cuz he doesn’t only like breaks 1000 rules for kabu (the hypocrisy) but he also looks the other way a lot. For example, when he overheard the top rankers talk about limiters he’s like I’ll pretend I don’t hear it also turn on private mode next time and he doesn’t berate them for considering cheating. Also donetello has been using an illegal avatar to climb to S rank again (isn’t it interesting that even after the ranked system is abolished something similar took its place). And his avatar looks the same as it did when minato worked with the guy. There’s probably like not that many ppl in s rank. And he calls himself donetello. Minato knows he’s supposed to be in jail but does he tell anyone? He’s like well.. that looks like someone else’s problem if they notice *goes and vapes* it’s so funny how little minato cares but it’s also not funny Bc some of minatos cruelest actions and things he’s complicit in are born not outta malice but apathy to everything. I think it shows (tangent number 4?) how the systems use of excessive force is counter productive cuz neither minato nor kabu are willing to report anything to disrupt the order Bc neither of them think the level of punishment is warranted. I also think that minato is probably the first person kabu really opens up to about why on a personal level he feels the system needs to be destroyed after Ep 7 is really interesting. It really speaks to how deep their [mutual and not platonic relationship I don’t know how to label ] is. I also think that he admits to minato that he envies human is rlly interesting and would like to hear what u have to think! I think it’s interesting that what really sets minato off is kabu saying he wants to choose for himself and also wants other cyborgs to have that freedom and I think it’s one of the few times we see minato get genuinely angry and have it not stem from worry. Tangent 5 I’m really extrapolating here but I think it’s very likely given how high up minato is that he likely knows of several cyborgs that rebelled against the system for similar reasons as kabu and knows how it ends and I think it probably feeds into his defeatist attitude. I think his role in the system must really kill whatever grasp of whatever minato has cuz he constantly has to act like it’s almost the end of the world and he’s strapped for resources all the time for like decades and decades of having to fake that type of desperation to entertain ur player base and cuz ur also on tv to entertain the general populace to distract them from their soul sucking jobs. I think that’s gotta mess with his perception of himself and also his ability to see that struggle as real and genuine. I think that’s also gotta be hard cuz he seems like out of his whole fuck we r under attack persona he seems like he’s a lil closed off but generally chill and somewhat upbeat to ppl who know him and he just wants to be isabella from animal crossing. I got really off track here. I think what really gets me is their relationship is built on knowing each other so well and so long , and how it’s managed to survive and persist through all this tragedy. They really mutually respect and love each other and that’s why kabu let’s minato walk away from his revolution even tho it compromises everything he works for. It’s why minato ultimently accepts kabus willingness to die for a tanker even tho he really doesn’t get it at all and it means it’s goodbye forever. But it’s still not enough to save either of them. Minato can’t save kabu from trying to passively starving himself to death and I’m not sure if kabu even knows where minato is at mentally. Sometimes no matter how close u are to someone there r things u miss and things u can’t help each other with. Even tho the two resolve to fight and then die together cuz this seems like the best choice Bc the system they were born into offers no alternatives, the deca dence doesn’t even activate without the help of other ppl. I think it shows one relationship cant support all that weight. In the end it is through their bonds with other ppl that gets them to an ending where they both survive when they decided alone their only option is death. Also u are so right about the other animals existing I totally forgot ty I cannot believe I forgot about the scorpion which calls to natsumes hairstyle which is a visual gag on how natsumes a bug and how like a scorpion, although unassuming, and fucking kill u, just like how her trying to get her boss to open up eventually leads to the whole thing toppling down. I also have a lot of thoughts about natsume but I’m still thinking of them and thinking hard Bc sometimes she becomes kabus inspiration Pinterest board and I don’t like that. When she shines she really shines but it starts getting sloppy towards the end so I have to think a lil longer about it. Okay I’m done. Also it’s kinda hard for me to look like I’m agreeing to ur points and nodding in this format but I really appreciate ur thoughts and will try to convey this. Maybe by formatting as a response to each of ur replies next time

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recordmcqueen · 4 years

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when ppl ask me why im anxious

sorry i just have a lot going on n i kinda need to vent

uhh trigger warning for a bunch of stuff? dont bother reading but if u are gonna click then just beware

this education system freaking sucks theres like 13h till school is supposed to start but i havent heard a peep from either of my teachers so uhhhh lmao what the heck wHAT IS GOING ON SOMEONE TELL ME SOMETHING PLS HHHHHH

ive been swinging between feeling bitter and spiteful and just plain sad cause heck i cant stop feeling lonely like ive basically limited myself to tumblr to avoid certain toxic individuals but even here its just so dead n lonely and i feel awful for underappreciating the people who are here for me on this hecksite but god a hyperfixation is a hyperfixation and ngl im kinda miserable :’)) not to be “not like other X” but fr theres a thousand ways i fail to relate from timezones to socmed platforms to talents and just hhhhhh yeah ive had way too much drama and bad experiences and i kinda wanna move but i also feel guilty again for underappreciating the ppl who Do support me and im just perpetually torn between wanting to feel accepted and wanting to just break away from All of Them and hhhhhh it just plagues my mind and wont go away :’))

the weight loss is so confusing and stressful cause i just end up feeling bloated and everything feels out of proportion and im so tiredddd all the time and just hhhh i want my body to look normal and my clothes to fit the way they used to :’))

university applications are coming up real soon and idfk what im doing like ye im pre sure im going into psych but god is it even worth it?? and then whereeeee do i apply like hhhhhhhhhh

cause like my dad is anxious as i am abt where to work hes got a job in bc which he loves but he just got an offer in ontario which is like TORONTO!!! but like uni there is so expensive and he really does like his bc job but the perks of being based in ontario like also cause all the social life is there?? hhhhhhhhh and hes constantly debating it and asking for our advice and man u know im indecisive hhhhhh

im always irritable and annoyed and ive been sleep-deprived for this past week and gosh look at school tomorrow :’))) it just gets so overwhelming ahahahaha

not to mention the depressive episode i had a few weeks ago we went to the doctor n talked abt it n the lab results should be in soon but oh gosh those episodes mess me up so bad like my train of thought is effed up and this time was even worse than the first cause this time i was at home and had access to a blade so ofc i just went for it but what iff next time (is there even gonna be a next time?? like i thought it was a one time thing but then it happened again and im???) and im scared ill be in an even riskier position hhhhhh i dont Want to hurt myself but,,,i also kinda wanna do?

i keep having thoughts of not deserving life and just how my presence isnt worth much to other ppl and how i end up hurting the ppl who Do care and just being hurt over and over but gaslit every time so ofc i end up feeling like every bad thing that happens to me is inherently my fault and god im so tired im so tired of having to reach out every time in attempts to communicate and make rationality of whatever mess my headspace is hhhh and im not a good enough student or friend or fan or Anything at least ill be good dead???

im not actively trying to hurt myself most of the time but its just that lingering feeling of wanting to go to sleep and not wake up and every moment of happiness is so Fleeting and dont get me wrong im doing Better but Better is still Bad so :’))))

on top of that i feel god awful for neglecting people who care abt me all while continuing to complain about being lonely lotus i am so sorry i barely check whatsapp idk why i just dont have the energy but you deserve better than that :’))

and ofc being surrounded by hypocrisy gets real draining so ahahahahahaha

therapy is $$$ but venting to tumblr under a readmore?? free real estate binches

#allya squawks #allya vents #ignore me pls #im just trying to make sense of my braincells #:'))#im trying okay #god its hard

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fandomfan315 · 4 years

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Ok random message but,,

If i have ever shamed ppl who wore like short short skirts/shorts, crop tops, the short sweatshirts, etc.....

I apologize.

Bc i just noticed that! When i feel good abt myself, i like to wear shirts that are a lil short bc then when i reach up and it shows some stomach, my brain reminds me that, "hey! You are confident enough to wear this! Here's some serotonin!!!" And i get a lil bit of Happy, lol.

So. Yeah. Wear whatever u want!! If ur comfortable in revealing things, go for it :DDD (As long as it isnt like. Inappropriate stuff. like wearing straight up fancy underwear and maybe a bra (for those who have a chest) to go grocery shopping or smth) Im sorry ppl hate on you for wearing "sexy" clothing/assuming its for attention when you're only doing it really for yourself, ya know?

(This is for everyone btw– guys, gals, nb pals, agender ppl and those who use neopronouns, and everyone inbetween)

Also, to clarify, im not saying this as a go ahead for clothing companies to keep making sexy clothing for afab and only that. Honestly, I'd love to just have normal t shirts and not-overly-tight jeans, skirts that are insanely short, extremely short shorts, etc. Im just saying: if you DO wear those tight clothing pieces, you dont deserve to be wolf whistled at/judged/catcalled. You dont deserve to go out in an outfit you chose bc it made YOU feel good that day, only to be told something like "daaamn bitch, everyone's gonna want a piece of that." without your consent (i dont know what catcalls are like, thats the best thing i can come up with rn srry). Comments like that, if you didnt ask for them/consent to them, arent okay whatsoever and its terrible that yall might need to worry about that when you wanna go out.

Tl;dr: STOP shaming people for wearing fuckin. Clothing. Just stop. Stop stop stop. Its mean and bad and just.... stop it, please. Its not your body. Its not your life. Just keep walking. To quote Thumper from Bambi, "if you don't have anything nice to say, dont say anything at all." (And no, catcalls are not being "nice" or a "compliment". Just say, "oh, i love your outfit!" or something, i guess. Idk. Better to just stay quiet.)

(Im not looking for ppl who agree or disagree, i just. Wanted to get this off my chest. But if anyone has any comments on it, maybe just dm me?? Idk i dont rlly care. Also if i am wrong about something in this dm me and let me know! I dont want to spread anything Bad lol)

#dee speaks #cw sexism #cw misogyny #long post #tw cursing #tw caps #rant post #kinda?#if u want me to tag smth else lemme know

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pepprs · 4 years

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im having so many thoughts i need to put them somewhere so here we go

i hate twitter so fucking much and i regret ever joining it and i want to delete all of the (dormant) accounts i have on there but im too scared to do it. that’s all

lately ivd been missing br*ghton a lot but im shy now and im scared to reach out to anyone and say hi 😔 yesterday i got so stressed and mad cuz this place is a wreck and i miss having a clean slate in my dorm w a mess that was manageable and that i was solely responsible for. and today i was thinking abt the farmers market and how i used to make my regular breakfast from home w all the same ingredients bht they tasted different cuz i was in another country and i didn’t like it at first but now i miss it a lot 😔 like the bread and everything was so good. also it’s absolutely bizarre to me that i like. walked around a city once. i took it for granted while i was there but it was only rly bc i was so anxious i couldn’t get my brain to slow down and soak it all in and now who knows if i’ll ever get to go back but like. i really really do miss it i would give anything to walk around town again. i had a dream the other night that i was on campus there in the main building and my dad was picking me up to take me to the airport for an emergency flight home bc of covid and it was like 4am and i ran out of the building and collapsed on the grass outside and just started crying and crying cuz i didn’t want to and i woke up and realized that basically happened to me i was just in my dorm and all alone and. lol

i have to make a post graduation plan and a timeline for my degree plan rn and i hate it so fucking much. activities and assignments that deal you the maximum amount of psychological torture

im like *makes my first discord server* *goes crazy* like i cant stop thinking abt it and it’s for work so i have to wait but like. i just wanna add ppl already so we can see how it works and setting up channels and everything is so fun. also i think discord could be a rly cool like... platform for art. like a server could function as a story or a poem or smth on there using read / write only channels or whatever and that’s ridiculously exciting to me but idk if id ever have the time to test that out

i keep saying all this shit in my degree plan abt poetry but i havent written since april i don’t think and im starting to wonder if im even like. good. also if i were to publish stuff that means the ppl i write abt would read my poetry abt them and that is SO profoundly unbearable i dont even have the words for it

it’s been almost a yr since my last haircut and idk what to do. i kinda stopped caring abt how long it is and i was just gonna get it cut when the world opens up again but now it’s looking like an IF the world opens up again so i might just have someone here do it or maybe do it myself although that would be bad. maybe on the anniversary of the day i flew to br*ghton lol

i have so many dishes to do and i don’t want to do them i just want to go to sleep WAHHHHH

#purrs #ok i think that’s everything. posting on here is embarrassing now bc i have so many new followers from the stupid crab post but if ppl don’t #have up close and personal access to the inner workings of my brain at all times i’ll go crazy #food tw #ask to tag #brighton

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bellahadidthat · 3 years

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im so annoyed lol my ex friend is posting on social media that she wants to commit su*c*de and I can’t even describe why but im angry at my bff for telling me abt it.

i shouldn’t be bc she did the right thing but i feel like she forced me to get involved. im in a terrible head space right now and I didn’t need the added stress of now knowing someone might die soon and feeling like it’s partially my responsibility to stop it. i know better than to think someone who genuinely doesn’t want to live anymore is going to change their mind bc a few ppl sent in some encouraging dm’s. but now im assed out bc if i don’t say something i’ll feel guilty but if i do say something and she ignores it i’ll feel even worse. i would’ve rather just not known tbh. and like i said im angry with my bff bc if it wasn’t for her i would have never even known abt it & now im gonna spend the next few days having to wonder if someone is still alive or not. and it’s even worse bc she forced me to involve myself bc she made me watch her story without telling me what it was abt when i could’ve just remained blissfully ignorant. like if she truly cared she could’ve reached out herself instead of putting that onto me without any concern of if I could mentally handle this shit right now. i’m wishing i could unsend the message i sent. I can’t stand ppl who are always trying to save ppl who don’t want to be helped & i have a tendency of attracting ppl who like to be in ppl’s business. not to sound narracistic but I can usually tell when people who are going through shit want to be helped or if they want to be left alone & every time i get the feeling to mind my business but one of my friends jumps in it always back fires. im good at knowing when to just respectfully watch from the sidelines & this was probably one of those times tbh. the last times this happened my addict ex was having a meltdown in the club & my friend told me to help him when i was going to ignore him but out of fear she’d think i was a bad person I tried to talk him down & ended up getting verbally berated & almost physically abused. the second time a girl we went to school with was going through a whole shit ton of stuff & i told this same friend just bc she’d asked abt her & I told her the girls new ig (that she specifically made to vent in peace) tell me why she follows the girl, gets all our old friends to follow her and dm’s the girl constantly even when she clearly wants to be left alone. the girl ends up making a long post saying almost exactly what i had thought, that she made the account bc she didn’t want locals following her & didn’t want to be bothered. she then deleted all her socials and no one other than im assuming her bf has heard from her since. to this day my bff says she regrets bothering her yet when I say she should’ve minded her business she gets mad. im so mad I woke up going through so much, started to feel better, all to have to go to sleep wondering if me ex friend committed. im so irritated.

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trueslove · 4 years

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✧･ﾟ: * ( park jiwon , cis female , she / her ) have you seen violet hwang around ? i hear the twenty-one year old is working as an art director . did you know they have 97 love alarm points ? if they ever want to be truly loved someday they should ease up on being temperamental & enigmatic . at least you can say they’re disarming & convivial, too. / love alarm blocked

hello ! im xan and ur watching d*sney channel ... just kidding we do NOT support big corporations who just wanna take ur money 😔 im 22 , from the est timezone ( even though my sleeping schedule ... does not reflect that sjbdwjkbdjdw ) & i go by she / her pronouns ! im gonna be honest this intro is gonna be completely winged so buckle up .... and meet violet 😋

━ ˙ ˖ ☆ quick stats + aesthetics !

full name: violet hwang.

nickname(s): vee, vivi.

zodiac: tba....

sexuality: bisexual.

birthplace: manhattan, new york.

current residence: toronto, canada.

aesthetics: maraschino cherries at the bottom of a glass, driving with the windows down at night, unanswered text messages, black nail polish, the sound of rain hitting the windowpane, kissing and not telling, smiles that don’t quite reach the eyes.

━ ˙ ˖ ☆ backstory !

was born and raised in nyc baby ! she’s a true city girl, grew up in lower manhattan ( the financial district if u wanna get specific ) to a family with lots of $$$$ thanks to her father’s position as a ceo of an investment bank located on wall street

life was pretty smooth until she was 17 and her father got arrested for embezzlement and fraud </3 it was actually a huge scandal for the investment bank he worked for because it was a whole group of higher ups who had been in on these crimes. basically a bunch of already rich men trying to get richer ... disgusting ik /:

her life changed pretty drastically after that ! the hwang name was all over the news, their family was pretty much disgraced by high society in nyc, not a very fun time for anyone but especially not for violet’s mom

after her dad got arrested violet was uhh high key furious with him for ruining their lives with his greed and she wanted nothing to do with him, but her mom couldnt let go. she was still defending him, spending the money they had left on lawyers which included the money the family had set aside for violet’s trust fund that she would have had access to once she was 18 </3

so her plans for college changed pretty drastically JSDBJWBDJW ( goodbye ivy league education ) she actually ended up getting into the university of toronto for visual studies on an academic scholarship

so she made the big move all on her own....moved into a tiny dorm...and vowed to reinvent herself. she didnt wanna be labeled as the daughter of a white collar criminal anymore so she just made it a point not to talk to much abt her past to anyone

her struggles as someone who grew up with $$$$ turning into a broke college student made for some embarrassing but funny moments <3 luckily though everyone else had their own struggles so no one found it suspicious JSBDJWBDJ

when love alarm launched three years ago, violet had just started college so it was really the Big thing anyone and everyone was talking about. since she’d never been a fan of other dating apps, she wasn’t gonna download it but her roommate at the time convinced her ! at first it was fun, just something she didnt take too seriously

fast forward to graduation and she’s snagged a job as an art director for a little local museum, doing freelance art directing on the side to help pay the bills. low and behold one day a photographer hires her to be the art director to a shoot they’re doing for a badge club member who was in a very high profile and public relationship at the time

violet ended up working with that photographer and badge club member a handful of times, enough for her to catch fee-🤢 catch feelin-🤢 i cant even say it .. she’d never rung anyone’s love alarm before, so of course her first time had to be with someone who was already taken </3 safe to say she ... freaked out

she was embarrassed above all else, but also heartbroken bc in her head like ... why would someone who literally is part of an exclusive club based on ppl ringing their love alarm care that she rung theirs ? she didnt think it’d be a big deal to them the way it was to her ( but also didn’t stick around long enough to find out jsxbsjbdjw )

when she was offered the block she didn’t hesitate to use it figuring it’s better if no one knows her romantic feelings ever again like that /: she’d delete the app but a part of her still likes knowing there are ppl out there who DO like her like that so ... Rip truly

━ ˙ ˖ ☆ personality + tidbits !

she comes across as ... kind of a bitch SDJBJWBJWBDW it’s truly not on purpose she just has a pretty serious resting expression most of the time ( so she looks mad or annoyed even when she isn’t ) and she’s pretty difficult to get to know ? not to mention the fact that no one has ever witnessed her ring someone’s love alarm .. so all that combined just makes it easy to assume she’s some sort of ice queen when that’s far from the truth /:

violet really isn’t one to open up too deep to people, but that’s got a lot to do with the past she’s kind of running away from ! so if you’re her friend most of the stuff you know about her is probably surface stuff, but when she’s close to someone she can make that fact hard to realize ? she just has a way with making the people in her life feel important so it’s easy not to be focused on how much you know about her

never bothers to correct the people that misjudge her. if you don’t like her, if you want to make up assumptions and rumors about her, go ahead like violet really won’t stop you which can sometimes make meeting new people difficult </3 if you’ve seen the dating class webdrama chuu was in she’s kinda like oh seyoung’s chara joowon 🤧

if she wants to, though, she’s pretty good at getting people to like her / trust her ! she does this a lot in professional situations, which is why she’s been doing so well as an art director so far despite being so young

she’s also very loyal to her friends ! if you can’t ask for extra sauces at mcdonald’s....if you can’t make a phone call to your credit card company explaining that a $3,000 charge to starbucks wasn’t you.....she’s your girl <3 since she’s relatively not bothered by the way people see her ( unless it has to do with her past ) she’s usually the one speaking up if someone she cares about can’t

after the ... incident ... JSDBWJDBWJ she’s really not a fan of the badge club and everything it stands for ): BUT she continues to do art directing work for a lot of the members when they do photoshoots, or instagram campaigns, or if they have a pop up shop, etc. it’s good money and she needs every penny considering she’s living without support from her family

cannot cook to save her life so she’s always eating out .. this really is why she’s taking those more high profile jobs she can’t budget .. but it’s better, safety wise at least, that she continues wasting her money on takeout aha <3

pretends she’s not a romantic and is all about the ~casual flings~ but really she’s just afraid of serious feelings and the idea of a serious relationship ... it’s the trauma 😔 constantly jokes shes gonna bring the tinder whore era back JWDBWJBDJW she is sick of this true love nonsense ! ( the irony of this url ahaha... )

she’s the most social after a few drinks, since drunk her isn’t burdened by a mind that overthinks literally everything the way she is sober. if you don’t supervise her though she can get pretty carried away and probably get into some kind of trouble so she’s definitely not the person you want to be in charge on a night out !

really wants a dog but doesn’t think she’s cut out to be a pet parent it feels just as scary as the idea of having an actual kid so ... BDWBDJW if you have a pet ? she’s gonna be living vicariously through you <3

━ ˙ ˖ ☆ wanted connections !

the photographer that hired her / introduced her to the badge club member she ended up having feelings for

the badge club remember she had / has feelings for because we love suffering 😈

old roommates from college !! maybe even the one that got her to download love alarm in the first place hehehe

also a current roommate / roommates because your girl can’t afford to live on her own <3

someone she’s confided in about her past ( maybe they judged her for it and had a falling out, or maybe they remain confidants )

an ex bf or gf she dated while she was in school ! she never rang their love alarm ( even though this was pre block ) so maybe that’s why things ended between them. or maybe they never rang each others and it was just a mutual thing where they both didn’t really have feelings for each other and tried to date anyway and it didn’t work. or perhaps they dated and when violet realized she was starting to have those feelings she dipped before she ever got a chance to ring their love alarm bc she didn’t want to be exposed like that and commitment is scary ):

spare best friend ? i’d use a knife emoji to show you how serious i am but i dont wanna scare anyone away aha .. i would just love a best friend plot 🥺

current flings / hookups or past flings / hookups ! i imagine most of them to not be serious but it would be kinda cool if there was someone she’s seeing now that she’s got the love alarm block that she’s actually falling for considering she’s never gonna be able to ring their love alarm hehehehe

people she art directs for !! i imagine she’s got a pretty long list of employers ( from badge club members to regular folk 🤧 ) so it would be cool to have people who hire her for stuff, or who collaborate with her for artistic endeavors since i’ve noticed we have a lot of artsy muses <3

ummm maybe an enemy. but where it’s like .. the hate isn’t even that deep it’s just like oh you dislike me ? well i dislike you FIRST 😠 and they insult each other and try and sabotage each other like five year olds fighting on the playground like it seems super serious to them but to everyone watching it’s like ... can you guys just get over it you dumb babies KSDBSDBWD like they could probably be good friends if they just .. stopped

and you’ve reached the end of this NOVEL of an intro post JDBJWBDJWBDW im literally so sorry i tried not to ramble but ..... its just who i am </3 please come shoot me a message to plot !!! you can use tumblr ims but im way more available / quicker to respond on discord so if u wanna add me there and plot u can find me at junhee mr. soft hands ʕ´• ᴥ•̥`ʔ#8172 i also did not check this post for typos so if u find one ... mind ur business 😭😭😭

#╰ ♡ . 𝒑𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝒅𝒖𝒎𝒃 𝒐𝒇 𝒂𝒔𝒔 ── ooc ! ┘#lovealarm.intro #HELPSDBWJD finally i finished.....im so sorry in advance this is . so long #also im going out in like 2 hours to eat so if im slow to respond to messages tonight u know whats going on <33333

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midoriyaizukustan-inactive · 4 years

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Angst ending- Deku focuses all the energy stored in OfA into his fist, including his own life force. He manages to defeat the villain, but not only his arm is ruined forever, but he manages to lift and clench it into a fist as a final gesture of victory, before dropping dead on the ground.

actual picture of me reading this ask:

HHH but,,,i can see this happening and ive actually thought abt smth similar

so im thinkin in the inevitable final battle we’re gonna have of ua vs. all for one and the league of villains, midoriya probably is gonna have to face off shigaraki and all for one all by himself (cause toshinori is not gonna be in any state to fight)(but i refuse to believe hs gonna be dead though nope no no)

maybe bakugou will be there for a couple of seconds but midroiya’s mostly gonna have to deal w it on his own

anyway so the nomus r the biggest problem. theyre strong and have absolutely no qualms abt hurting and killing ppl, and worst of all, they will not stop at anything unless u somehow manage to kill/incapacitate them bc they will Not stop obeying orders

and who gives them orders? shigaraki and all for one

midoriya picks up on this during their fight, so he’s trying as hard as he fuckign can to stop them bc holy shit his friends and teachers and schoolmates are all on the line and he CANNOT afford to mess this up

so as the battle wears on and as midoriya gets more exhausted, he realizes,,,theres only gonna be a couple ways to end this in his favor. and fuck, he’s so scared, he’s not even technically done with high school yet, he hasnt saved nearly enough people, but his friends, they need him to focus now, so-

so he starts building up one for all, but its gonna take time so he needs to figure out how he can distract all for one and shigaraki while he does this

so he talks and dodges attacks mostly bc he can’t attack at all if he wants a build-up of power

this leaves him,,,vulnerable,,,though,,,

shigaraki probs decays some of his chest nd hero suit, but its nothing midoriya can’t ignore for the time being. no, he’s mostly worried abt all for one, and if he’ll figure out what midoriya is doing

all for one does, in fact, figure out what midoriya is doing, bc this is exactly how his brother would act

so he does his power/red-black stabby quirk bs nd midoriya gets stabbed like three times (leg arm and shoulder) but still midoriya is holding on bc he needs their attention to stay on him so they cant give the nomus additional orders, nd also he needs to end this like yesterday

since midoriya is focusing on one for all, he can hear the other users’ voices. some of them are yelling at him, asking him what the hell he’s doing, doesnt he know he’s gonna kill himself?, some of them are shouting out directions for him to dodge and jump and run and anything to help keep him alive, and one voice (all for one’s brother) is telling him how to keep the power buildup so it wont rebound onto midoriya (…at least, not until it’s supposed to)

so midoriya listens, cause he cant really talk back to them to reassure them otherwise, nd he’s just. so exhausted honestly, and also his arm is starting to burn which is frankly the last thing he has time to worry about, but also it means it’s working, just a little longer-

midoriya feels smth click when his life force slides into the deal, nd all for one’s brother is kinda like “hey kid so problem” but midoriya still can’t talk back, and he can see his friends in the distance behind all for one and shiagraki on another part of the battlefield, and they look- they look-

theyre just as exhausted as he is, and theyre surrounded by nomu, and midoriya will not let them get hurt, so-

so he begins to charge, because when his life force connected with one for all’s power, he knew the build-up was ready to be used

all of the previous users are screaming at him for a hot second, before all for one’s brother gives midoriya directions on how and where to hit his brother to be most effective. midoriya ignores how sad and choked up he sounds cause he just doesnt have time-

just like all might, midoriya fakes one hit and parries with another; shigaraki is right next to them, a hand reaching out to disintegrate midoriya’s arm, so he gets caught up in the blast as well.

everything goes white for a moment and midoriya cant really feel anything for a split second.

then the world fades back in, and midoriya’s entire fucking body is burning, gaining intensity the closer you are to his arm. He’s almost certain his arm has been completely blown off, but when he opens his eyes, it’s still there.

horribly mutilated, but there. his hand is still curled into a fist, still punching all for one.

oh. all for one.

midoriya tries not to throw up at the sight.

yeah, he’s not getting back up again. the only problem is, midoriya thinks as he stumbles back a couple steps, he himself is probably not, either.

the force of the blow left him in a crater. he almost wants to cry, because dammit, everything is on fire; he knows that his entire arm and shoulder are broken, and it seems like everything else is not far behind. his nose and mouth are dripping blood, in addition to the flesh wounds on his chest (thanks, shigaraki) and the stab wounds from earlier bleeding like no tomorrow; how is he gonna climb out of here?

still, despite his grievances, midoriya shuffles forward, each step aching as he tries to claw out of the literal hole he’s punched himself into. he cant move the arm he punched with at all; his fist is still clenched.

still, he manages to heave himself up and out of the crater. the battle is at a standstill, is what he finds when he reaches the top.

some people have passed out from the sound, midoriya can see. jirou lies protected by yaomomo and kaminari as she tries to get her bearings again.

others have passed out due to the blast snatching oxygen away from them for a few precious moments. they’ll be fine, though, midoriya can tell; he can see kirishima’s chest rising and falling as he breathes unconsciously.

midoriya raises his gaze, exhuasted, to where his friends were in the distance, seconds before he punched all for one.

he can see shigaraki passed out, having hit the side of an upturned rock too hard, which was there thanks for pixie bob

his friends are okay. theyre stumbing to their feet, looking about, and he catches todoroki’s eye while they do so.

he smiles then, breathes out a sigh of relief – theyre okay – before raising his fist (the one that’s horribly mutilated; it hurts to move, but midoriya doesn’t care).

he starts falling back, then, and he can’t shift his feet to regain his balance.

he falls like a house of cards.

his breath rattles in his chest, and it’s how he knows he’s not long for this world, anymore.

he’s too exhausted to feel panicked, per se, but he- he’s gonna miss his friends so much, he’s gonna miss mom, toshinori-

tears start collecting in his eyes, but he’s too dehydrated to form enough of them that they can fall down his face freely.

he doesnt- fuck, he doesn’t regret doing it, he just-

he’s not going to last long enough for anyone to even get to him, he’s going to die with no goodbyes-

then the voices of the other users fill his head again.

their soft, sorrowful congratulations, reassurances that he did the right thing, and that dying is scary but it doesn’t hurt, and he’s going to be okay, wherever he ends up next.

it does little to ease the fear, but it does do something, so midoriya is thankful nonetheless.

im sorry, all for one’s brother says abruptly.

why?

my fight with my brother should never have ended at the cost of a teenager’s life.

midoriya can’t help but laugh a little then. he coughs up blood for it. if all it took was one life, i’m glad it was mine. i wouldnt want anyone else to fall to him.

and it’s true, midoriya isn’t lying, it’s just. he’s gonna miss his loved ones so much.

he closes his eyes, breathes out of a broken chest one more time. his lungs are too tired to inflate again.

distantly, he can hear his friends calling his name, but he’s just…so tired…

there are soft murmurings from the other one for all users, but midoriya can’t make them out anymore.

all he can really hear is a ringing in his ears, an echoing call of, “Midoriya!” but he cant…

he hasnt done nearly enough. he doesnt feel like he deserves this rest.

but…all for one is gone. surely he can take a few minutes for himself?

yes, that should be fine.

the world falls away.

#fun fact! i cried while writing this #also holy SHIT this got long im so sorry djkfjnkd #i just. have feelings #oh shit #also i learned how to finally add a read more link to go me #anyway im in tears #me: midoriya is my favorite character!#also me: what good is mha angst if midoriya doesnt fucking die in it huh #anyway u have simultaneously fed and hurt me with this ask #im cry #midoriya izuku #c makes a word #answer

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thefleshmustgrow · 4 years

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under readmore bc this shit gets rly fucking weird after a while srsly warning if ur gonna read this bc i feel sick from the dream

claps hand right so fucking

im skipping past the parts that dont make sense bc it dont rly turn into any kind of story till here ok so like i was in the car with my dad n sister and brother and i wasnt feeling well bc awake me had heart burn ig

we stop for somthing to eat at this place thats like a combo dairy queen, tim hortons, some fish fast food place and taco bell. also i can turn into a fukin goldfish for some reason so i do that.

theres this dude on tv but the tv is like a 2 way comune device. hes the owner of the worlds largest fish farming biusnes and owns the fish shop were eating in and he sees the goldfish and goes m lets cook that and i tell him to fuck off

so hes like whatttt a talking goldfish lets get some scientests on that and i turn back into me and use my deadname for some reasno ig in the dream im not out publicly either

and i tell him to fuck off and its this big thing he gets rly pissed and he tries to tell me i have to give him three compliments a day if i want to still use anything he owns and im like no 3 a week at max and hes like ok and also he wants to meet me for some reason

and this is were the stuff starts to get, weird.

so i jump thru a portal of some kind and it takes me to this tropicalish wetlands reiver were im meeting him. at thius point i reveal i can just shapeshift in general so like ok cool whatever.

some irelevent dream stuff happens and im partially in the water and theres these giant fish and someone goes oh no pirahnahs and im like no, piranahs r small and reltivly harmless to living creatures actually.

but like these weird fish r still there so its like ok, then the dude is there and aparenlty industrialism has goten wildlife fucked up and its a big secret. but suposedly thats also how i can shapeshift i tell him. at this point ive turnd one of my arms into a long alien tentical and i have tenticales sticking out from under the dress im wearing.

so its this big thing. and uh, lil time skip here more dream stuff that dosnt translate to awakeness.

so at this poijnt its kind of revealed that the end of the world is coming from higher forces. this dudes wife desends like and angel and shes holding this rly fleshy blobby constantly shifting baby that also has a halo made of flesh. she tells me their name is angel and the world would have already been ended if angel didnt come to like the world and decide not to.

so now angel is the only thing that can stop whats coming. its all baby themed for some reason. theres this didy as the dreams changes perspective to show the armies coming that goes like “we must fix it from the startt!”

everythings super body horrory at this point to anyway his wife tells me abt his daugter aparently angel has been watching over her for a long time and thats why angel dosnt wana doomsday stuff..

and so aparntly the daughter likes to eat in bed at night and thats cool but ig some of the doomsday babies came down and stated force feeding her and she nearly died. and idont want to describe it bc it was in incredibly sigurbing detail involing a tube and shit anyway so angel comes in later to find this out and angel is rly upset

so angel tells her mom and there out to stop this doomsday stuff.

again i wnaa remind u this is all super body horrory, fleshy, creepy stuff.

umm skip more stuff and im not prespective on me anymore. theres some confusing stuff here of exatly WHAT is being done but ppl r in a spaceship and like the rest of the universe has been corupted, the effect of witch is gliter. but the hero group has managed to scrounge what they need to save everything witch is like some kind of save file they have to find.

cue one of the ppl on bord mentining glitter. hes been infected. the infection spreads rapidly thru the ship till one person remains who has to jump onto this device and start searching for the save file on a shrunken down earth.

they find it. but this dude whos like a rectangle gets hungry and eats it. so our protag has to, jump thr the screen and go INSIDE this dude all shruinks down.

and its all like machinary themed but still fleshy in there and he jumps into this elevator going into the stomache and this flesh dude pulls him out bc ig thats part of the imune system and hes like hey u cant do that yank.

but going down there is the only way to get the save file so our protag tries again. cant rly explain to this imune system dude tho so the imune system dude thinks hes trying to comit susicde and is trying to console him on the conveyer belt. and describing whatl happen if he does go down there. protag dosnt care hes saving reality hes doing what he must.

imune system dude gets crushed in the converyer as some rly sad music plays and the protag reaches the end of the convery. and thats kinda were i woke up.

i can only describe this so well bc im mostly getting it off my mind bc like i said this was all incredibly disturbing and i feel a little sick from it all.

#dream diary #do i rly want to preserve this???#might delte it later or some shit

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microsoftedgy69 · 5 years

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Goliath, part 1

[prologue]

-- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering tremoloTangible [TT] at 11:11 -- TG: yo TT: Hey, what’s up? TG: have u checked up on our tl lately TT: Depends. What century? TG: ours TT: Then no. I haven’t been there in several months. TT: Why?

TG: k so TG: the carapaces are still there right TG: and i sometimes check up on em to make sure theyre doin ok. get enough to eat etc TG: but theyve all been losin their shit lately and i mean its kinda hard to talk to em properly but i dont wanna beat around the bush here so im not gettin into that TG: theres been some concerning stuff happening on our good old earth al TG: my alternian is p rusty and my translator gave me some weird results here n there but im gonna send u an article abt it and trust that ur language pack can handle it -- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] has sent file ______.png --

You don’t have blood that can turn cold. You don’t have breath that can stutter in your chest. But some years ago, you were a human kid, and in this very moment, you remember perfectly how all these things felt.

TG: al

You reread the article. In your mind, your non-existent blood goes from freezing to boiling. You almost forget to switch your language pack to English when you reply to them.

TG: u still there TT: Yes. TT: Sorry. TT: She is turning Earth into a military base. TG: yeah thats what i was getting from it too TT: Hmm. TG: i dont like what that prob means 4 the carapaces TG: cant imagine shell give a shit about em yfm TT: Yeah. TG: idk abt ur part of the world TG: u said the apartment is underwater anyway aint it TT: It is, yes. TT: It’s still… I don’t know. TT: This might be silly. TT: But it’s still my home. TG: its not silly TG: this whole thing feels wrong TT: Yeah. TG: sooo TG: what do we do abt this TT: What? TG: we should b able to do something about this right TT: You wanna stop the Condesce? TG: ppl in other timelines have done it TT: That is correct. TG: we could do it TG: right TT: I have drafted a plan or two in the past. TG: o have u TT: I wasn’t sure if you were interested. TG: im pretty interested these days TG: the others not so much tbh but i cant blame em TG: theyre worried bc u know. i happen to be a lot less immortal than her or you TT: I’ve planned for that. TG: lmaooo TT: We’ll get you immortal and kill the Condesce, Rox. TG: man u rly are him huh TT: Told you.

Your name is Alan Strider. Sometimes, when you jerk awake at night, you are sure, one hundred percent sure, that Her Imperious Condescension is not done with you yet. Sometimes, when you sit on the deck of the boat you live on, recovering from nightmares, you think that she might come for you one day.

When that happens, you make plans.

You prepare.

It’ll be you who comes for her.

It’s you who’s not done yet.

i wanna hunt like david. i wanna kill me a giant man.

Roxy looks good when they come to meet you by your storage unit in Brazil. Grown up, you think, and determined. Nevertheless, something flickers over their face when you show them what's inside; when they lay eyes on the dismembered imperial drone you stole from your home timeline. You can relate. Your face doesn't show as much, but you feel the same every time you think about it.

You sit on scrap metal and talk about your plans. You have several, for different scenarios, and you accept what Roxy wants to change about them. The phrase Are you sure you want to do this is uttered back and forth a couple of times, before you both understand that yes. You're sure.

The way you end up agreeing on is simple enough -- if it works, you end up with a dead Condesce, a conditionally immortal Roxy, and a destroyed spare body of yours. If it doesn't, you have a list of other plans you can resort to. Stakes are high, but you've thought this through.

It's worth it.

So, you and Roxy get to work. You have to program the drone to go back home to mommy -- step one of the plan is both to find out her whereabouts, and to start coaxing her back to the planet she's having rebuilt. It might take a while, so it'll give you both time to… well, to gather up your things and make arrangements like pet care in your absence and telling your respective friends what's going on, you guess. You're not looking forward to this part of your masterplan, but you barely have time to think about it.

Anything that has you accessing an imperial drone's software is still prone to give you flashbacks bad enough to make your mechanical hands shake, so it's good that you have Roxy by your side this time. Practiced as you might be, they are still way better at this than you. You give them pointers to where they’ll find the parts of the programming you need to hijack, just to speed up the whole process, then you leave them be and go do your own work.

Roxy laugh-scoffed at the way your notes concerning the drone looked. When you disassembled it, you made yourself a map so you could put it back together, but it doesn’t look like something anyone else could ever decipher. It works for you, though. Part for part, the heap of metal starts resembling the huge beasts that almost killed the both of you on numerous occasions again.

“You wanna look over this before I finish it off?” Roxy asks eventually.

“I’m sure you did great,” you say, but you want to look over it anyway. You don’t get shivers down your spine now that you’re a robot, but you feel the sense of cold and dread in the back of your mind, going over the very program that made your lives hell, that both saved you and killed Dirk. Roxy reaches for your hand, and you take it. You exchange another We’re really doing this, huh? look, but nobody says it out loud anymore. You say, “Looks good.”

You captchalogue the finished drone, then transportalize back to Roxy’s part of your home planet, and release it. It’ll find its way back to the Condesce, and then promptly self-destruct, leaving in its wake only a message to goad her back to Earth. Once she’s made it back here, you’ll move on to the next part of the plan.

Until then, for now, you will wait.

Roxy hugs you before they disappear back to a different timeline’s Barcelona, and you disappear back to your boat in a different timeline’s Indian Ocean. Only once you are home and alone do you allow yourself to actually feel something.

Everything from Roxy messaging you to your feet hitting the deck of your yacht again happened without pause, your mind going on autopilot. Something was happening, so something had to be done in response, your plans had to be set in motion, there was no time to think about any of this. No time to fully realize what’s going on.

You stand there in the scorching evening sun of your current timezone, stare out at the horizon, and wait for the fear to come.

What hits you instead is cold, calculating, ready-to-maim anger.

You are not scared of her. Not when you know exactly what you’re going to do, where, how, and when you’re going to do it, to bring her down. You’ve been scared your whole life, and it’s enough, now. It’s enough. She’s taken your family from you, your childhood, your friends, your life as a human kid. If after all she’s put you through there is one person who has the right to destroy your home planet as well, it sure as shit should be you.

You square your shoulders, flex your hands, and refocus. You’ll have to talk to Alma to make sure you can time this coup just right to be back home for his big day.

And before that, after months and months of fighting it, you’ll have to tell your boyfriend that you’re doing the exact thing you promised him not to do.

There’s no going back now. You’ll make whatever sacrifices you need to end it once and for all.

#action post #posted ooc #goliath #:3c #big plot happenings. beeg plot happenings #if all goes well this'll have four parts #over the next............. month im guessing #oh (rubs my grimy hands together) i have such plans

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impivus · 6 years

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very rushed very shit intro comin @ you all but here goes nothing ! i’m felix from the gmt tmz, i use he / him pronouns, and im gonna power nap any minute now because one thing you should know about me is that i’m eternally on the verge of passing out from minimum exertions during the day. this is my pain in the ass eunsu: not even going to sugar coat it - he’s the human personification of a headache dumpster fire all in one beefy package and i really don’t even blame your character if they just . ignore his presence because, me too !

under the cut there’s some information about him if you want to get to know more about him regardless. smash that mf heart if you want to plot.. and i will get to you ? sometime ? its an ambiguous promise but i keep them, discord is also an option so just ask if you’d prefer to plot on there. eun’s about is here but no plots as of yet because life is hard and We Cant all Have Everything

aka im lazy

* ☾ ✧ * º ━━ is that KIM JONGIN walking about ? nope ! that’s just EUN SU CHO. & i’ve been told that they work as a INFORMATION BROKER ! apparently, they are TWENTY FIVE ( 204 ) years old . some people say they are a CISMALE, DEMON ! HE is very CULTIVATED & INTUATIVE but also DECIETFUL & MENACING. i wonder if they are just as odd as the rest of us . ⇢ SYNOPSIS. MBTI TYPE / entp, the debater ZODIAC SIGN / scorpio ENNEAGRAM TYPE / 7w8 KINSEY SCALE / 3 MORAL ALIGNMENT / chaotic evil / neutral HOGWARTS HOUSE / slytherin ⇢ AESTHETICS.

goosebumps raised and feelings of growing dread, the dark corner of a room where light doesn’t reach, silver pocket - watches with dead batteries, the scratch of a record player needle, flares in the sky, bad ideas coming to life, half-assed clapping when it’s required, figures dancing within the shadows & a smile you shouldn’t trust .

⇢ OVERVIEW

literally anybody: when are you free? eun su: im forever imprisoned in my own personal hell so i am never truly "free" but i don't really have plans all next week except for monday

this is eun su, and will y’all believe me if i say he used to be a good egg before he turned into the rotten egg i’m presentin y’all with today ?? i kid u not.. bs free zone. he did once .. have a hort he was born to a cult of witches, his twin brother absorbing all the magic that was meant to be equally distributed between them in his mother’s womb, which pretty much left eunsu as the black sheep of the family. said cult had been living on a small, near enough desolated island for literal decades, entertaining themselves with magic, seeking out knowledge, observing the unassuming populace, and toying with other supernatural creatures who dared cross their paths. unfortunately for eunsu’s family, tragedy struck when one of his aunt’s tried to over throw the high priestess ( his mother ) in their coven. unyielding in her position and untouchable to the magic she was exposed to, her sister went about other ways to break the woman’s spirits, dabbling in black magic predominantly to achieve her goals. eunsu’s brother was, thus, cursed before he was even born with an incurable heart defect that would see him dead before he reached double figures. eunsu’s mother was broken not mourned over how much he missed out as on a child: but she mourned for the fact that he was the only child that harboured any magic in their veins, the only child that could’ve carried on their lineage. queue entrance of eunsu and his Whats the Worst that Could Happen Attitude. being young and naive, thought he could’ve been able to solve it by himself, solve the issues and earn his mother’s lacking affections. eun had heard about dark vessels that could miraculously grant wishes through summonings. though he didn’t have magic in his veins he had a fire in his heart, and after all, demons cared not for who or what they fed from: so long as they appeased their hunger. all it wanted in return was a good, pure soul, and that’s what the demon stole from him before it mended his twin brother’s heart, giving the boy a new lease of life that wasn’t intended for him from the start. pity that eunsu died before he got to the age of twenty, following a quick and hungry fever that overtook his frail body and too soon turned deadly. there was no surprise that, come judgement day, he was turned away at the gates of heaven, in exchange for becoming one of lucifer’s own.

as a result of being eternally cursed with immorality and a tainted soul, he's lived some hundred-odd years and is coping by making the current populace in jeonseoul suffer along with finding purpose in digging out the secrets of his past life, mayhaps trying to find the demon who cursed him.... which could definitely be a wc.. and strengthening his abilities as a demon.

his personality is a bit insufferable; eunsu keeps himself distant and cryptic, because he likes it that way. he's a real weirdo ( if u have ever watched hxh he’s hisoka.. THAT weird ) that's hard to forget: completely mischievous, dramatic, and malicious to boot. some days he's waxing poetic about the futility of having a sense of justice and the next he's using his demonic powers to make some innocent tourist think they're hallucinating as they attempt to walk into a steady flow of traffic.

ultimately life's a game to him and bih.. he’s here to have fun ! he's outlived his actual family and friends ( well, aside from his brother who he barely remembers, prolly be a wc if anyone’s interested ) and he's not looking to get attached to anyone. it would be great to Die because it’s his forever Mood but he also gets furious if anyone tries to actually expel him for real - so he'll simply prod at the world and its people until he gets the reactions he wants.

fair warning: it is a pain to genuinely care about eunsu and not many people will wanna do it. he comes and goes into people's lives as he pleases, stops reaching out once he's bored and only ever grazes the surface of a relationship based on its worth or his curiosities, innocent ppl, cute ppl, etc are just gonna be eaten up by him then dropped.

the people who will be closest to him are doubtlessly other demons ig ? but he also hates y’all too so.. don’t get too friendly like he’s not here to make friends he’s here to be Jeonseoul’s next top Demon. also since he died sumn like 200 years ago it’s possible some wizards / familiars knew of him and his coven, it’d be super interesting for someone to have known cute human eunsu in exchange for chaotic bastard demon eunsu

⇢ MISCELLANEOUS

since he’s a young demon, his horns are small and his wings barely span about two inches above his shoulder bones, he got itty bitty bat wings lbr he’s kinda pissed abt it. there’s tattoos over his scars from clashing with other demons / hunters / angels, but his devil’s mark lining the back of his neck, performed by first demon who took his soul, has never faded away.

he also works as an info broker, which ties in with the fact that he’s a contractual demon ! it's more of a hobby than a job, something he does for kicks and to restock his gambling money and alcohol money, but he offers a helping hand to solo clientele for private cases if need be, just remember to bring your negotiation skills because his manipulation skills are a1.

he's well-versed in witchcraft even if he can’t actually possess the abilities that actual witches can. while hardly the mentoring type, he could be convinced to equip people with his knowledge of latin, spells or dark magic they want if he's interested enough. then again he might decide to screw them over for kicks so ask him for favours with caution.

for someone who carries a ton of spite and secrets, he passes as an easygoing, casual literature major on the daily to disguise his true intentions. find him at the university pretending to be a student and failing miserably at it like edward’s thousand year old ass in twilight

he cheats at the casino with his demonic powers but does it infrequently enough to pass it as luck. play games with him at your own risk. casinos are one of his favourite places but he can really be found anywhere with ease but some other places he frequents are: beaches, libraries, museums, bars, etc !

he'll get on people's nerves, but getting him to care to the degree of hate is another story. living this long has numbed him; people don't surprise him anymore and he doesn't care to spend time thinking about others. the secret to getting him to turn deathly serious is as simple as telling him you can tell that he was once a good person - because the cheesy truth is he was. he just convinces himself that he's given up trying to remember his human life and finds it easier to live like he’s dead.. yknow which he is.

romance makes him queasy, he's a spiteful old bastard and the concept of sweet love rubs him 100% fictional. there's someone he fancied before he was cursed but i'll save you the story: that's a distant dream now.

he might quote romantic works or put some pretty words together but he's fake as Fuck. if he notices someone innocent and unsuspecting crushing on him they are in so much trouble. he'll kiss their hand then twirl them right off a cliff. corruption kink central right here laid ease

as of rn he’s trying to master how to teleport and shadow control but he really is like on level one and he’s got to get up to level 50 to achieve even a fifth of what these other demons can do

edit: i totally forgot to include eunsu’s ‘demonic’ title after he was banished to the perils of hell. it’s ironically just saint, and he goes around using that bc it’s blasphemous and a big ole middle finger to god himself. nobody will know his real name, but if there’s an off chance that they do, that’s a massive threat to eunsu and he’ll get his Snipers on Scene

tl;dr:

#oddintro #. I HAVE THE POWER OF GOD AND ANIME ON MY SIDE ── / OOC. ❞#so this is. a thing!

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