#im not in trouble or whatever i just feel a lot better when i talk abt my feelings. barely do it anymore | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

spongeyspot · 5 months

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Toxic Traits/Red Flags HC

Characters: Arthur, Javier, John, Lenny, Dutch, Micah, Charles, Sean, Hosea, Mary Beth, Abigail, Tilly, Karen, Sadie, Molly

(A/N): WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT THIS DAWG. I LOVED @cowboyfromh3ll 's take on that shit sm and these hcs have literally been swimming in my head for weeeeeeeeks bro

Edit: some of these were kinda hard because there's not a lot of bad in the characters themselves... I had trouble with specifically Charles, Lenny, Mary Beth, and Tilly. Sorry if they may be OOC. IM EVEN DOING THE GIRLS BECAUSE IM IN A SILLY GOOFY MOOD

Content Warning: female reader, jealousy, self hate, narcissism, gaslighting, physical abuse, verbal abuse, mental abuse, mentions of murder and violence, mentions of infidelity, mentions of sex (Sean, Micah, Sadie kind of) (MINORS DNI)

Not edited btw

The boys

Arthur Morgan

- Honestly, I feel like Arthur would have this insane, crippling fear of rejection, especially when it comes to dating. - His self hate/deprecation plays a huge part in this, and quite honestly, him and Mary not working out probably also probably contributed to it. - Very emotionally distant. Has a hard time expressing his feelings openly due to that same fear of rejection.🚩 - Bottles shit up until he feels like he's gonna explode 🚩 - His impulse control is almost nonexistent 🚩 - Will resort to saying things that he doesn't even mean. He just says things when he's angry🚩 - Will hate himself even more if he makes you cry - Won't hesitate to run away from camp for a while to cool off. This isn't necessarily a bad thing per se, but he usually takes his time away to overthink the fuck out of everything - Prone to acting violent. (not to someone he cared about, but to other people, absolutely)Also due to his poor impulse control. 🚩

Javier Escuella

- Has a flirty personality, but around women, it just seems to get worse. 🚩 - Tells you you're overreacting if you tell him it bothers you🚩 - Overprotective of you. Always has his eyes on you, and practically orders you to stay in camp where it's safe. - As if you step one foot outside the camp without him, you'll spontaneously drop dead - Jealous asf. Are you laughing at what Bill just said? It wasn't even that funny. Why are you standing so close to him? You should be at least 6 feet away from him, not 5 and a half. 🚩 - Also has a problem with how you dress sometimes. God forbid your shirt is ever low cut. He'd probably ask you to change. 🚩 - And if you get offended or upset, he'll lie and tell you it's because he can't stop staring at your chest, and he'd like to focus of whatever it was he was doing.🚩

John Marston

- Stubborn as all hell. Doesn't listen to anybody for anything.🚩 - Commitment issues up the ass - Says mean things out of anger and sometimes actually means them 🚩 - Won't apologize half the time. He thinks kissing it better actually makes it better 🚩 - Regularly ignores his own bad habits instead of actually facing them 🚩 - Will run away from problems like Arthur, but worse. He'd be gone a really long time.🚩 - Gets annoyed with you if you get angry at him for leaving and staying away for a while. He told you he needed space, didn't he? What else do you need from him?? 🚩 - Ignorantly clueless half the time. Head empty, no thoughts.

Lenny Summers

- Not assertive in the slightest, and usually, respectfully, keeps to himself. -Takes orders without verbal complaints but inside he's annoyed as fuck 🚩 - Even if he hates doing something he'll probably just go "Okay" and do it anyway, and he'll sulk all day afterwards - Refuses to tell you what's wrong because he thinks he'll sound childish.🚩 - If you push the issue, he might snap at you out of annoyance like "Would you just let it be??" - Immediately feels guilty and shameful, and he'll hide away until he's ready to apologize and face you again - Also kind of a know-it-all... He'll correct you a LOT. It would get annoying 🚩 - Would blatantly tell you you're wrong before correcting you🚩 - Not necessarily an asshole about it but he still tends to get under your skin sometimes

Dutch Van Der Linde

- The BIGGEST Narcissist you'll ever meet.🚩 -He loses another piece of his mental state with every breath he takes. Slowly but surely losing his mind.🚩 - King of gaslighting🚩 - How could you even think that about him? He could never do anything wrong! You must be crazy...🚩 - Tries to recite his "pretty words" from Evelyn Miller to try and sound smarter than he actually is 🚩 - Expects you to just feed his ego without him actually doing anything to earn it🚩 - Will try to correct you even when he's wrong🚩 - Refuses to admit he's wrong. He can never be wrong. That word isn't even in his vocabulary unless he's talking about literally anyone but himself🚩

Micah Bell

- Where do I even start with this guy - Not above putting his hands on you if he doesn't get his way. Let's be honest here.🚩 - Mega Narccisist, almost as bad as Dutch 🚩 - Will brag and share every sexual encounter you've ever had with him like he's talking about the weather🚩 - VERY prone to Violence 🚩 - NO impulse control. Murders people for fun.🚩 - Backhanded and borderline abusive compliments 24/7 "You'd look so good if you weren't so fucking fat..." 🚩 - Selfish lover. Thinks just sticking it in will do the trick, and it does, for him at least.🚩 - Little to no affection. What are you? His girlfriend? Wait...🚩 -If he actually does show you affection, and you react in surprise, he'll tell you to go fuck yourself, and that that's the last time he ever does anything nice for you.🚩

Charles Smith

- Impossible to read sometimes - Like Arthur, Charles tends to keep a lot of his emotions bottled up until he feels like he's gonna pop 🚩 - Like most of the men in the Van Der Linde gang, Charles is also prone to acting violently. I mean, he started a bar fight with a fucking chair, and he fights in street fighting rings, let's be real for a second.🚩 - He's incredibly quiet and reserved a lot of the time, and sometimes you just assume that he's listening to you when you talk, but a lot of the time, he's lost in his own thoughts. - Will do everything anyone asks him to at the expense of his own free time and energy, and sometimes he works himself to exhaustion just to try and please everyone.🚩 - In doing so, he sometimes doesn't have time for himself at the end of the day. It also seems like you spend time together less and less as the days go on. - If he ever got himself hurt and you tried to help him, he'd decline any help with anything to save his own pride. The last thing he needs is you thinking he's weak. 🚩 - Extremely Overprotective. Like to the point where he'd beat the shit out of anybody you asked him to🚩

Sean Macguire

- An Alcoholic🚩 - horny 99% of the time, but half that time he probably has whiskey dick. Still asks you to try but doesn't understand that it's like trying to play pool with a rope... - If he can manage to be sober enough to actually get it up, and you're not in the mood, he'd get pissy and annoyed with you for "wasting his boner" 🚩 - Will probably also brag about having sex with you to everyone🚩 - Needy as all hell - Bro sulks on purpose - Low key loves the attention you give him when you continue to ask him what's wrong, but he never actually tells you and constantly says "I'm fine..." or "It's nothing..." 🚩 - But then sighs dramatically and continues sulking and dragging his feet so you keep giving him more attention 🚩

Hosea Matthews

- Ignores his physical health until he's practically dying. You've told him to get that cough looked at for literal years and he just says "I will" and does nothing 🚩 - sometimes talks to you as if you're a child especially if he's around Dutch -low key gaslights you sometimes 🚩 - and he says it with such a gentle tone, its hard to catch it 🚩

The girls

Mary Beth Gaskill

- Daydreams way too much - Likes to live in her romance novel fantasy land rather than face reality 🚩 - Cries a lot - Tries to be angry but can't help but cry instead - If crying makes you feel bad for her, she'll probably do it on purpose so you comfort her and give her attention🚩 -If you're in a fight, she'll turn on the crocodile tears to get you to stop being angry with her or whatever it is you're arguing about.🚩

Abigail Roberts

- She can be verbally abusive if she's pushed far enough 🚩 - Holds in a lot of her emotions🚩 - Neglectful of her own personal needs to make sure you or Jack are fully provided or cared for🚩 - a lot of the time, when she's upset with you, you're probably given the cold shoulder and the silent treatment - incredibly protective. Not necessarily a bad thing, but she can sometimes be super overbearing.

Tilly Jackson

- Tells it how she sees it, sometimes accidentally sounding a lot colder than she means to 🚩 - Too sarcastic for her own good 🚩 - Laughs a little too much sometimes when you tell a joke, and you can often tell it's actually incredibly fake🚩 - gets irritated really easily, especially if she's bothered while doing her chores. The last thing she needs is Grimshaw on her ass again.🚩 - irritable a lot of the time, unintentionally becoming short or snapping at you - like john, she also believes that kissing it better is better than actually apologizing

Karen Jones

- An alcoholic 🚩 - picks fights with you for fun, finds it entertaining to see how red your face can get from anger 🚩 - Screaming matches are a regular occurance between you guys, and she starts it almost every time 🚩 - Pretty jealous when it comes to the opposite sex🚩 - Has self doubt and believes that she can't give you everything a man probably could

Sadie Adler

- The nosiest woman in America. No chill. She reads everyone's mail. - Makes a lot of loose threats 🚩 - Anger issues🚩 - Low impulse control🚩 - Can be a little too rough sometimes 🚩 - If she's upset with you, she'll either yell or storm off. Sometimes both. 🚩 -(She tends to walk away a lot more often because she's actuall self aware that her anger issues are a problem) - She'd never admit that to you though.

Molly O'Shea

- Even more jealous than Javier🚩 - Glares at and envies anyone you talk to that isn't her🚩 - Has immaginary conversations with people in her head🚩 - Rubbing her hands together when the real life conversations are following the script she had planned out in her brain - Needs constant reassurance - "D'you even love me anymore?!"🚩 - Overthinks everything 🚩 - Paranoid as hell about infidelity - Gets mad at you when she dreams about you cheating on her🚩

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lace-coffin · 3 months

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Ughhh i love all ur asa things they make me so happy to read!!!!(the ughhh in a /pos way)

But could you do something maybe if u want of asa headcannons where the reader cant sleep without a stuffed toy because it just comforts them to feel safer and they ask him for one over and over and refuses to sleep without one (literally me fr) and they would be violent snap back at him or ignores him till he gets them one and when they do they would become the nicest person ever and start obeying again and snuggle with it all the time AHHHH also the reader would be a house pet if u write about them being at his home instead of the hotel

sorry for the rlly bad grammer or whatever im writing this ask on phone+im trying to be specific because you said it’s easier but im not that good at being specific😭😭

(even if that’s childish to refuse to sleep without a stuffed toy i rlly relate to it so💔)

Thank u sm for the compliment omg!! Don’t worry about being specific if it’s hard for you, feel free to request in any way that makes you comfortable!

It’s not childish at all to sleep with a stuffed animal so don’t feel ashamed, I sleep with my stuffed lamb “lamby” every night and have since I was like 2, she also travels with me!

Asa Emory x gn!reader! Who needs a stuffed animal to sleep

Requests are closed (for now!)

“Please..I’ll be good”

“We’ve been over this, you’re not having her back until you can redeem yourself. End of conversation.”

—

Usually you were a relatively behaved pet, well maybe Asa was more lenient on you than has other “projects” back at the hotel, but well behaved to your standards. You had the privilege of being your masters house pet and significant other, love and submission were intrinsically connected for both you and Asa.

More lenient or not, Asa would be sure to let you know when you were in trouble, and you fucked up. Bad.

You’d been in a sour mood all day, nothing particularly bad had happened to ruin your day however it was like you were itching for an argument, nit picking everything and back chatting your owner, flat out refusing orders just to be a nuisance. It all came to a head during bed time, after squirming whilst being dressed and refusing to get into bed, Asa had already lost his patience with you. Taking it out on your phone that Asa had recently gifted you was the last straw.

During your struggle you’d grabbed your phone, using it as a projectile to ward him off, not only had you missed, you’d watch it hit the mirror, smashing both the glass and screen. After a moment of shock you retreat back into the bed you were vehemently avoiding the minute prior, tail between your legs in panic.

He understood sometimes it can be a lot in this dynamic considering how it came about from less favourable circumstances but today you’ve been pushing him to breaking point. Pushing his buttons on purpose and running from the consequences.

Asa stares back at you from your place in bed, hands flexing and unflexing. He pauses, taking a deep breath and holding for a few seconds to ground himself before releasing and addressing you.

“Sweep it up” he says sternly, gesturing to the dustpan and brush stored in the corner. You grimace but comply, not wanting to make things worse. You clean silently and efficiently, returning to your bed once you finish.

“Better. Now, I don’t know what has gotten into you today and I’m more than happy to talk if you need to but we both know you’ve been deliberately disobedient and destructive. So, I’ll be taking this-“ Asa grabs your stuffed toy sat beside you “until you can learn to behave and treat your things with respect”

Your eyes widen in shock and your fingers twitch with the need to grab it back, you refrain and lace them together, instead settling to give your owner a pouty pissed off look. You knew that having your belongings taken away was an agreed consequence for bad behaviour but it didn’t mean it sucked any less.

“Don’t give me that look doll, you can have her back when you show me you can behave ok? Until then she’s safe with me.” His voice is stern but soft enough to be reassuring, you know he’s not angry at you and he only wants the best for you.

After placing your plushie into his office and locking it he joins you in your shared bed, letting you cuddle up to his side.

Unsurprisingly you ask for her back the next morning despite literally only sleeping between then and last night. Also unsurprisingly he says no. “It’s only been a few hours cricket, you need to show me how you can be good for me, I know you can be such a sweet pup if you try” you huff but agree.

After two more attempts in the span of three hours you declare war. You can’t and won’t wait. In reality you’re afraid, you know you can’t sleep without her, last night was restless and anxiety filled, you didn’t wake Asa because you didn’t want him to think you were being a baby…

Just like that you’re back to being snippy with him, rolling your eyes and talking back. Pretending not to hear him when he calls for you, making everything difficult out of pure spite. You need her back or you know tonight is going to be just as horrible as the last.

“I’m not doing shit until you give her back!!” You bite at Asa, stomping your foot for good measure. All he’d done was ask you to prepare for a bath…

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Asa relents.

“What is this all about puppy? You’ve been touchy since yesterday and somehow even worse today, I understand you aren’t happy about being punished but you’re supposed to be showing me how much you deserve her back.” He pauses for a moment, taking your hands in his and connecting eyes. The look on his face is taut but not angry, unsure of what the issue is but concerned with your distress.

“There’s more to this isn’t there pet. Tell me.”

“Can’t sleep” you mumble, eyes darting down to stare at your socked feet on the hardwood flooring.

“Speak up please”

“I can’t sleep without her! I couldn’t sleep last night and I won’t be able to sleep tonight unless I have her back! I know it sounds childish but she makes me feel safe, I-i can’t do it without her” you sniffle

Asa’s face softens, hand cupping your cheek and wiping away a stray tear. “Oh pet, thank you for telling me, I wasn’t aware confiscating her would distress you this much. I know we both agreed to this in the rules but it seems to have touched a nerve and for that I’m sorry. We’ll iron the rules out and then she will be returned to you, sound good?”

You sniffle and nod, leaning into the warm touch of your masters palm.

“I still expect you to take your punishment but we will discuss it later and make sure we’re both comfortable with it” he tacks onto the end.

Sure enough you update your contract and your fluffy friend is returned to you with another hushed apology from Asa and even one to your plushy, making you giggle.

The day finally feels normal again, tears are dried and you’re back to obeying and being your cuddly usual self, practically hanging off your master as he works or cooks, nuzzling into his neck contently. Mistakes are bound to happen but you always figure it out in the end, only wanting the best for eachother, there’s no one you would rather make mistakes with than Asa.

#slashers #slasher x reader #slasher headcanons #asa emory #asa emory x reader #the collection #writing #my writing #slasher fucker #slasher hcs #slasher horror #slasher #slasher fandom #slashers x reader

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unrequitedloveletter · 1 year

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Hi! I’m back :] im here to request a platonic!crows x reader kind just want some hurt/comfort I’m feeling pretty bad atm and just don’t do well w asking for comfort?? So could I request a reader who’s just having a bad time,nothing super specific just like feeling Sad more than usual and like being a bit more distant/distracted? If your not up for writing this that’s perfectly fine too :] Have a nice day! -🍒Anon

Come Home- Platonic! crows x reader

Hi! This one is hitting really fuckin close to home right now but selfishly, I could use a good cry and I'm in the same boat as you, so we're all good!

I'm sorry you've not been feeling too great lately and I am sending you hugs and a mug of your preferred hot drink of choice! I also hope you feel better and am sending good vibes your way :)

Fic type- this is hurt/comfort but pretty heavy on the comforting!

Warnings- mentions and depictions of general sadness, mention of lack of sleep/trouble sleeping both generally and due to sadness, mentions of being unable to reach out to people in search of comfort or a place to vent, mentions of being distant (emotionally) and also isolating oneself, a 'there but not there' kind of sadness, mentions of retreating into your own thoughts/mind

The crows couldn't quite say who'd noticed it first amongst them. Nina was pretty sure they'd all noticed it around the same time, could remember the fact that it was a date in the middle of the Spring.

You'd spent a lot of time in your room in the Slat, not really talking to anyone, seemingly both content and somehow discontent in the idea of burrowing into your own thoughts, retreating into your own mind.

When you were with the others, you were distant. It was like you were there but not there all the same, responding to conversations and laughing occasionally, but Nina could see it.

She knew what it looked like to be wrapped up in ones own thoughts, and recognizing it within you was like seeing water in the middle of the ocean; it was about as obvious as the day was long.

Wylan and Jesper and Matthias picked up on that, too, then Inej and Kaz. They'd all picked up on it the same day, and were sitting at a U-shaped booth in the Crow Club to discuss it in the days after they'd noticed.

"They're not the type to ask for help," Matthias noted. "I think they'd rather struggle in silence most days then reach out and vent to someone."

"They don't directly ask to be comforted or seek out things that people would typically find comforting," Inej noted. "I don't think I've ever seen them hug someone or be hugged themselves. They handle their emotions internally, it seems."

"How do we comfort someone who does not want to be comforted?" Matthias asked. "How on earth are we meant to be subtle about it?"

"The rest of us can worry about that," Jesper said. "Matthias, Kaz, don't you worry a hair on your pretty little heads."

"Hugs and arms around shoulders aren't always how it's done," Kaz said. "There are a thousand other ways, Jesper. Comfort doesn't just have to be about physically touching someone."

"Nice gestures," Nina suggested. "I didn't think you had a nice bone in your body. I'm pleased to be wrong in that."

"Pleased to have been underestimated," Kaz said. "Matthias, you're not touch averse. We are not one and the same, so you'll just have to figure it out on your own."

Matthias scoffed, and Kaz spoke the word before he got the chance to whisper it.

"Demjin," Kaz said, taking delight in Matthias' scowl.

"All right," Wylan said. "Our plan is figured out. Find ways to subtly comfort the one of us who needs comforting and just hope they don't notice? How long do we keep that up?"

"Until they notice or they feel better," Nina said. "It's--it's whichever comes first. Stop asking questions. We'll work out the rest of the details as we go along."

Everyone nodded. Whatever qualms anyone else had about the plan went unsaid, and the world around the six of them settled with the knowledge that they were going to help you feel better, even if you never caught on.

If you never noticed, if you thought your mood was brightening naturally, if you never figured it out and never said the profuse thanks that Nina knew you would've, that would've been fine. It would've been great because you were fine again, and in the end, that was all any of them wanted.

"Brought you a coffee," Jesper said, passing you the to-go mug as he found you in the Slat. "Kaz and I were in the Harbor. Kaz needed a dose of caffeine and I figured you'd probably done without."

"It's seven and a half bells in the morning. You were on the Harbor to scout before we left, and Kaz found the time for a pit stop?"

"I did things more efficiently then he'd expected," Jesper said with a charming grin. "Had twenty kruge. Grabbed Wylan a tea, gave it to him by the Crow Club. We leave for Ravka in a quarter of an hour, and it'll take us that time to get from here to Inejs berth. Your things are on her boat?"

"Matthias helped me take my things to the boat after Nina had the gall to wake me at five bells and then bribe me with waffles. I felt like a bunny with a carrot being dangled over its head."

Jesper noticed, though, that you were smiling.

"Thank you for the coffee," you said. "Saints, was the sleepy time tea a mistake. Do you know if Kaz has any jurda on him?"

"You've been having trouble sleeping?" Jesper asked. "I mean--he's finnicky with his coffee and the grounds he imports are delayed by two weeks, so he does. He's been keeping an eye on the shipments because the idiot would rather chew his way through a mile and a half of jurda before he listened to his bodys calling for sleep."

"As for the trouble sleeping--yes. It's been a rough few weeks and my sleeping has been impacted a bit. Didn't get much before, but now it's worse. Sleepy time tea has made me sluggish even though I've been awake for two and a half hours now. The box did say that was a risk, though," you said. "As for the jurda, I'm in desperate need."

"Lucky for you, I miscalculated the amount coming in our last shipment. I've been selling it at the Crow Club to keep the pigeons at the tables longer but we've still got a surplus," Kaz said, passing you a small black velvet pouch with jurda inside.

"How long on the boat?" Jesper asked.

"A week and a half, but the boat we've got is slower then the Ferolind, so it might take as long as it took to get to Fjerda."

"Good thing I thought to get books for the trip then," you said, smile prickling the edges of your lips when you noticed Jespers expression of terror. "Wylans bringing his flute, Jes. You'll be fine."

You took a sip of your coffee as Jesper gave a shake of his head.

"You say that I'll be fine, but you'll see. At the end of our first week, I'll be begging Wylan to play something slow so that I'll fall asleep and you can toss me overboard and have me drown in peace."

"You'll manage," Kaz cut in. "You managed the first time around, didn't you?"

"Just barely," Jesper said exasperatedly. The three of you left the Slat, Wylan joining you as he walked out of the Crow Club.

You took another sip of your coffee, sighed as the contentment you'd missed creeped back in just a bit. Things had been terrible for weeks, a general feeling of sadness having wormed its way into your heart and left you feeling like a shell of the person you were. That was the first decent--albeit early--morning you'd had in what felt like forever.

Nina and Matthias were sitting on one end of the ship, you and Inej sat together on the other, in the elevated area that was reserved for the captain to keep watch of the boat and manage the wheel.

The only sound to disturb you was the waves, and it didn't disturb you at all as you leaned back in your chair and continued on with your fifth book in a week. It was a book you'd not particularly enjoyed, and a last minute grab. It was a book of sonnets that you'd grabbed on the off chance you'd be in a sonnet-y mood, and thus far, it seemed you were not.

Wylan had begun to play the flute from somewhere near the center of the ship, and as you heard it, you smiled. You looked away from your book for a moment, glancing at Wylan as you closed it, having given up.

Nina couldn't blame you for that as she noticed it, though. It grew boring to read sonnets about the love someone felt for one singular person after you'd read two of them. She had not a single clue as to how you'd managed to read fifty.

You settled simply to observe the world around you instead of reading, thumb idly tapping along to the beat of Wylans tune against the surface of the hardcover book you had in your lap.

She looked at your eyes. She knew what it looked like when a person was distant and she knew what it looked like when, albeit slowly, that person was coming back to the rest of the world.

Come on back, Y/N, she thought. We've missed you. Come back to us.

She caught your grin, caught Jesper rushing up the steps to the captains watching port. She saw him reach for your hand and grab Inejs as well. Wylan started playing a dancing song and everyone on the ship was all smiles.

Even the crew was looking giddy, though their expressions only brightened when Inej signaled for them to take a break for a dance or two.

Hell, even Nina was smiling, having only realized it when she looked at Matthias and saw he was grinning as he squeezed her hand and pulled her up, their laughter coming up naturally as they rushed toward you and Inej and Jesper.

Someone--probably Specht, as he'd unearthed a talent for it in the weeks before--was playing a violin to go along with Wylans flute. You were beaming, and Nina was beaming, and Inej and Matthias and Jesper were all smiles.

Nina caught your gaze. Just a bit more, Y/N, she thought. Come home.

You were laughing as you turned and caught sight of it, Kaz standing to Wylans left, face only slightly turned to the waves so that nobody would see his grin.

You met Ninas gaze, wiped away a tear as she gave a joyous holler.

"Yes!" she shouted. "Yes!"

"Why are you acting like someone has thrown millions of kruge on the deck?" Jesper asked.

They're home, Nina thought. The distant look in their eyes is gone. Maybe not forever, maybe just for now, but it's good enough for me.

"I'm just so happy," she said. "Oh, I love moments like these. I love them with my whole heart. They remind me of home, of dancing with classmates by the tea samovars the minute we heard music."

Inej was hugging you as tightly as she could. "Better?" she asked. "Jesper mentioned it's been a rough time."

"Better than I was, yeah," you said. Inej pulled away and the music dulled, the moment becoming somber.

Wylan joined up, as did Kaz, and you were faced by the six people you loved the most in the entirety of the world. All of them had been trying to comfort you in the two weeks before you'd boarded the boat and in the week since you had. They'd been trying to go for subtility, but you'd noticed, and you appreciated it relentlessly.

"Thank you guys," you said. "For all of it."

"You noticed?" Matthias asked.

"You laughed at my jokes, Matthias. Nina, you offered me your toffees several times. You've never done that before. Kaz has brought me books and given me jurda and let me refuse on jobs wherein I was necessary. He's said that he would find someone else if I couldn't do it and he's said it in a way that wasn't malicious. He's told me a number of times that he understands what it is to be in pain, though he admits his is a different kind. He's given me several passes when the pain was most unbearable," you said.

"Inej has let me exist in the silence and not say a damn thing, she's swayed with me to the music we hear while wandering about in the mostly empty bodegas and boutiques. Wylan has willingly played the flute and the pianoforte around even people he does not feel secure because it might just have made me smile, he's tried to get me laugh so many times in the past month that I have entirely lost count."

"Jesper, you brought me coffee and leant me your Ketterdam uni jumper. You joke more than Wylan does, and your reassurances were near constant. I know you probably didn't want me to notice, but I did. Thank you."

Everyone--excluding Kaz, of course--pulled you into a hug. Nina was more relieved then not that you'd noticed, relieved that you were feeling better than you had three weeks before. She was happy you were okay, happy that you were smiling and that you were going to be okay eventually, even if it took time to get there.

Everyone pulled away eventually, and you gave Kaz a nod. You received a nod in return and knew that it was enough.

Being with your friends on a boat on the way to a job was enough, certainly.

#kaz brekker #inej ghafa #nina zenik #matthias helvar #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #kaz brekker x reader #inej ghafa x reader #nina zenik x reader #matthias helvar x reader #jesper fahey x reader #wylan van eck x reader #six of crows #shadow and bone #shadow and bone netflix

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cecillias-garden · 6 months

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Im thinking a lot about LOA this morning, in part thanks to @creature-wizard and their posts about the subject, and I think there are a lot of you in the tags that may be very hurt by what your seeing, but I want to talk as someone who practiced loa for a time, and has since moved on to other practices, other ideas.

A lot has been said about the appeal of LOA and other forms of "new age" mysticism for those who are in hard times, for those who are struggling and looking for hope, but there's an underlying central idea to New Age mysticism that I think needs to be touched on - one that I think a lot of us have trouble talking about.

The idea that the nature and the universe is fundamentally good.

We see it in the way "all natural" remedies are pushed, in the way that positive thinking and manifesting is sold as a way to be in-tune with the fundamental peace and understanding of the universe. We're told that being in-tune with the good intentions of the universe as the solution to our troubles. Let go and float downstream. Ask and you shall receive.

But all of this relies on that good intent to be real.

All of it relies on their being a structure, guidance.

We think we need that structure to make sense of all of the chaos around us.

Even recently it gets hard for me not to fall into the trap of magical thinking of aligning one's self with the intentions of the universe, to be one with God or source or whatever you may call it, but I'm sorry to say that these "intentions", this alignment, isn't real.

Hardships will come to you. They will hit you when you least expect it. They will hit you when you least deserve it. Some will be natural, and others manmade. They will come and it will hurt. God, it will hurt. I should know, I've seen it. I've felt it. I've lived it, and no amount of alignment or spiritual thinking was enough.

It is not the job of the universe or any god to shield us from hardship. It is not up to any movement to ensure our happiness. Happiness is something to be made for ourselves, in spite of our struggles. Its up to us to separate ourselves from what we think we deserve, and work instead towards what we want one step at a time.

It isn't going to be easy.

I'm fact, I'm afraid it will be quite difficult.

But there is hope without LOA. You can find that hope everywhere you go.

We are humans, a social species meant to rely on each other.

Let others rely on you, and allow yourself to rely on them when you need it.

And if you are to practice any sort of spirituality, understand this:

The goal of spiritual practice is in the practice, not the result. If you like meditation, if you like casting spells or feel good when you pray, keep doing that.

The goal of this post is by no means to cast doubt on spiritually as a whole.

Instead, think of it as a gentle warning, from someone who may have once been like you.

LOA advocates will claim you need the practice to be happy. They will tell you that things are so very simple. They will tell you that all you need is to align yourself with your happiness and everything will be okay.

You deserve better than that. You deserve the truth. You deserve to be able to look the world in the eye.

Happiness is something that each and every one of us has to discover for themselves. There are places to start - setting strong boundaries, setting goals, and finding fulfillment through whatever work or play we might enjoy. But you don't need someone to tell you how to be happy, and that includes myself. All I ask is that you listen to what others are saying, and understand why loa can be so harmful. There's a lot of nuance to the world and how things work, but if you made it this far... I think you can find yourself on a pretty good path.

I will give one parting gift that helps me. Take it if you want, but you don't need to if it doesn't fit with you. Its just a phrase that I find helpful whenever things go wrong:

"Well, that sucked. Now how can we make it better?"

#loa #manifesting #spirituality #ex loa

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oldworldpoolhall · 6 months

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HI OMGOGMGOGMGKGJGKGFG SORRY TO REQUEST AND BOTHER BUT. CAN YOU DO. LIPPMANN HCS.. I KNOW THAT'S VAGUE SO YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT WITH IT IM JUST. I NNNEEED LIPPMANN CONTNENT PSLFJFFJ TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF REMEMBER TO HYDRATE

Worry not! My requests are open, you can send me asks whenever you like ❤️

Thank you for your continued patronage.

Lippmann headcanons

•Lippmann’s very courteous and usually initially watches how he acts towards you, wanting to gain a good impression you can associate him with.

•He’s not doing this because he wants to deceive you— quite the opposite actually. He wants you to trust him, to make you see that he’s actually someone you can rely on despite the nature of his job that normally deceives people.

•Lippmann is good at catering to what you may want, though sometimes it may come off as excessive. If you don’t set proper boundaries, the light affection of giving gifts may turn overwhelming after some time.

•He would love it whenever you give something to him in return, it could be food you made, or maybe a handmade bracelet he would wear all day everyday once he gets it from you. Chuuya would complain about how annoying Lippmann is about it at some point, but the latter wouldn’t really be too concerned— he sings you praises behind your back.

•If you’re not a member of the mafia and knows what he’s actually doing instead of seeing just the facade he puts on for the public but refuse to turn him away or judge him, his love for you would increase tenfold. It would mean a lot to him for you to understand and still love him despite that, he’d understand too if you’re afraid. Don’t worry though, rest assured he won’t turn a blind eye to you if you’re in trouble.

•He’s surprisingly a bit shy when showing romantic gestures to you; he’s no stranger to hand holding, it puts him in a serene mood, something considerably less hectic than his lifestyle both as an actor and a mafioso.

•He’d teach you how to play billiards, he’s a gentle teacher, so you’ll be fine most games. He lets you win too— it’s a little thing that you two can bond over with together.

•He flirts lightly when teaching you too, and sometimes you both will become a subject of teasing by the other members of the flags because of this. They mean well and he knows this, and this often results in banter that everyone will laugh about for a week.

•He’s very reassuring in giving you compliments, it could be the little things really, maybe your hobby, maybe your hair, maybe the way you speak or your eyes. He’s very smooth about it, seamless in delivery.

•Lippmann would kiss you under the light of a lamp post either at dusk or very early in the morning before he departs from you for a job. He covers your kiss away from the eyes of others with the small book he often carries with him, the kiss being sweet and brief, before he gives you a beautiful smile and looks at you with adoration and then leaving.

•When you’re sad, he will let you talk it out while hugging you. As a negotiator, he’s a very good listener and remembers almost every single detail that you told him— he thinks it’s important, a good way to know more about you and he feels that you spilling your sadness for his ears to hear has a degree of intimacy to it. He takes it as you trusting him with your feelings. He’s more than happy to keep your secrets.

•On a bit of a darker note, much like Iceman he’s willing to resort to violence for you if he needs to. He’d usually try to settle it with a talk first, but sometimes, words aren’t needed because actions deliver a better message. He isn’t afraid to get dirty— he can always buy another coat if the one he’s wearing cannot be thoroughly cleaned. What’s more important is you. No money or a piece of clothing would be equal to you, and he will make sure you know that.

#bungou stray dogs #reader insert #bsd x reader #flags x reader #bsd flags #bsd lippmann #BSD Lippmann x reader #Bungo stray dogs x reader #headcanons

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softlyspector · 2 months

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i remember you saying you don't like the show/fandom interpretation of tlou. is it okay to ask why? im just curious because i was going to get the game soon and wanted to hear your opinion

Sure! You guys are determined to have me tarred and feathered it seems lol

I want to start by clarifying that I do like the hbo show. And when I first saw it, I loved it. It's what made me want to play the game in the first place and got me into gaming at all. After having played/watched both, I just prefer the game.

Before I get into the why of that I want to say that this has nothing to do with the actors. I love Pedro and Bella and their performances. I want to get that out of the way because people are really, really protective of Pedro in particular, and even though it has nothing to do with him it still ruffles feathers and gets me in trouble whenever I talk about preferring the game/game characters.

After playing the game, though, there was no going back for me. Especially after being spoiled for everything in tlou part II (which I won't go into, in case you're avoiding spoilers). It was apparent that a lot of the characterization in the show is retcon for the anticipated criticism. The creators looked at the crit of part 2 and made some changes so that things that happen later make more sense.

The characterizations of both Joel and Ellie in the show are different to their game counterparts. I, personally, find that there is more nuance and depth in the game for the characters, which is what's most important to me as a player/viewer. I talked at length here about what's different between show and game Joel. And @elliespuns talked recently here about what's different between game and show Ellie here.

They go to great pains in the show to portray Ellie as much more violent (relishing in violence more than once, David's comments about a violent heart, etc.) and more hardened than she is in the game. She's a child and I think the game does a better job of showing us that, that she's scared and needs Joel. She's a smart ass in the game but she's not an asshole. Similarly, Joel is annoyed with her in the game, too, but you can tell it's all superficial, which is not the same as in the show, where Joel does seem to genuinely feel contempt for her at times.

The show also goes to great lengths to paint Joel as uncaring and even cruel, and, at the same time older and weaker than in the game. I've already had asks about Joel's supposed 'lack of humanity' in the game which I just fundamentally disagree with and could probably write essays about.

It feels calculated, that they changed them the way they did in the show, so that part 2/seasons 2&3 will make more sense. They're recognizable in the show as Joel and Ellie but they are at the end of the day, almost entirely separate characters.

Also, we spend a lot of time with side characters in the show (not that I would take that away from the show or change it) but Joel and Ellie's bond does feel much more rushed/not as strong because of it. It does not have the same development as in the game and the relationship (to me) is fundamentally different and changed because of it. When you only have 9 episodes in a season and 4/5 of the episodes are focused on other relationships or other characters entirely, and the first episode is mainly setup without the main characters really knowing each other, it becomes a little bit of an issue.

The subtlety of the game, the setup and pay off, are all just better done, in my opinion.

Again, I want to reiterate that I liked the show! It's just that after playing the game and seeing what the original story is, how developed the characters and relationships are, what the set up and pay off of the plot and relationships were, the show does fall to second in my mind.

In terms of fandom interpretation. . .I'm not sure I actually want to get into that too much. Interpretation is subjective and fanfiction is, at the end of the day, a read and write whatever you like situation. I'll never be the person to say don't write something that way/ don't read that, etc. HOWEVER. I will say that interpretation is often just projection. I said it before but, in particular, by virtue of Joel being played by Pedro Pascal in the show, there are a lot of tropes commonly associated with show Joel in the fandom that are just not my cup of tea and, in my opinion, not even close to in character. But as I said, that's not always the goal when people are writing and that's fine, it's just not for me. I do have trouble when people posit fanon and those common tropes as universal truths.

Again, this is all just my opinion and interpretation. I understand why people like the show better. It's not justifiable that I regularly have to defend my love of the game characters.

Anon, thank you so much for sending me this ask. I could talk about his kind of thing all day long and I love doing analysis and comparison.

#bec talks #tlou #tarred and feathered i fear #didnt reread this before posting sorry if it doesn't make sense

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altraviolet · 4 months

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so im neck deep in reading echo garden - hi, hope ur doing well, holy hell what is this beautiful piece of writing and worldbuilding omg? i originally wanted to ask you something like; 'what's your inspiration for your worldbuilding, what ideas did you come up with, pull/build from etc'

..but instead i wanna try and ask you a different question/for advice, if that's okay? (your writing went and gave me a mild crisis, congrats you've reached peak 'make-ppl-feel-things-thru-writing' skillz. :}) how do you even 'do' worldbuilding? because i'm doubting myself, reading your story lol. i know the whole.. 'we get inspiration from literally everything around us', 'there's no such thing as a truly original idea' etc,

but i'm just now breaking free of the thought that i have to.. produce something big and unique and grandiose? (for others? it's a weird attention-y 'ey look what i made' thing.) like, honestly, i fell in love with your worldbuilding but feel.. envious? like, 'oh, damn, i wish i was this good.' which, yeah, I KNOW is silly.

I don't know.. how to worldbuild/craft (whatever term) something that feels like mine? I keep comparing to others, and keep feeling like whatever bits and pieces come to me isn't good enough. Isn't unique/cool/giant/'oh-so-new-&-different' enough. like I have to somehow reach that impossible 'true original idea', without using any inspiration at all (otherwise it's not 'mine') - when everything's already been thought of before by countless people.

I'm sitting here in a really weird, silly, downright stupid at this point, circular loop and I don't know how to get out of it. I think not understanding what worldbuilding is, or how it works or even how having ideas works, might be why I've screwed myself here? And the internet's weird.. impossible standard for idea-having.

I have tiny pieces, the barest little foundations, I just don't know how to grow them into.. something, anything. (is maybe the thought that I ought to grow them in the first place one of the reasons I'm having trouble? and it's.. okay to not? that just because they're tiny, or simple, or mundane, doesn't mean they're worth less than 'bigger & better' chunks of ideas/worldbuilding?)

Hi! I'm doing okay, thanks. Vacation could be structured more to my liking, but family & obligation something something.

Anyway. Thanks! I'm glad you're enjoying Echo Garden. Especially the worldbuilding, which is one of my favorite things to do. It seems like you're feeling a lot of mixed and heavy things about it. I don't know if I'm any authority to help you with that, but I'll give it a shot. Let's go through what you've sent me, albeit out of order. I'mma put this behind a cut, because it got very long.

>what is this beautiful piece of writing and worldbuilding omg? Thank you! I appreciate that. Here I would like to stress that this writing has taken me almost 4 years and hundreds and hundreds of hours, and hundreds of thousands of words to accomplish. If you think it is beautiful, I am happy to hear that! I will be honest: I am very proud of what I've done. But what I'm stressing here is that it was not effortless. It is beautiful, but it has taken a lot of work.

>i fell in love with your worldbuilding but feel.. envious? like, 'oh, damn, i wish i was this good.' which, yeah, I KNOW is silly. No, that's not silly. That's legit. Envy or jealousy are totally normal things to feel in any given situation. If the situations were reversed, I'd feel the same way. When I see people who have things or skills I wish I had, I feel it. This might be a good time to drop a little story about when I first thought about writing TF fic. Please do me a favor and go read this ask, you can skip down to the bold words that say NOTE THE WARNINGS AND TAGS BEFORE READING. Here I talk about how I didn't write for a year because I read a fic so good I knew I could never be that good.

tl;dr and/or moral: it's ok and natural to feel envious. Don't let it stop you from writing, though. If I had let TGWP stop me from writing, you'd never have Echo Garden. That'd be a shame, I think. I'm glad I decided to try writing, even though I knew I couldn't do something as good as what I admired. I did something else.

>how do you even 'do' worldbuilding? because i'm doubting myself, reading your story lol. i know the whole.. 'we get inspiration from literally everything around us', 'there's no such thing as a truly original idea' etc, I'll come back to your first question eventually, but I wanna address the latter statements: "We get inspiration from everything around us," yes, this is true. Being a sponge, being observant of the world, will help you build a 'library' of ideas. Artists have a term for this that escapes me at the moment, but the idea is, if an artist draws 1000 trees, and within those, 50 different kinds of trees, they now have an excellent mental tree 'library' to reference when they need to draw a tree. And since it's super easy to find irl references of trees, one might ask, what's the use of the mental library? It gives the artist the basics and a ton of variations on The Concept of a Tree. In a similar way, observing the world, reading stories, listening to music, absorbing creative works, etc will also add to your mental library. You can call on these things when worldbuilding later. Quick example: if you know the ins and outs of a hospital, because you're a nurse, you'll have a fantastic basis for a realistically operating sci fi hospital on another world. Take a concept relating to the hospital, as we know it on Earth, and change it. What if patients can regrow internal organs but not limbs? See what that does to the organization of the hospital. The staff, the pharmacy, the stock, the medical supplies. What changes? Organ donors aren't needed anymore. Would this mean an actual reduction in the species's understanding of how those organs work? An irl nurse won't have to do a ton of research to get the basics which are drawn upon to answer those questions.

This line of questioning took me to something I want to expand upon later, but for now: What kind of cultural issues could arise from this species's healing ability? Is someone who was forced to grow a new liver due to an accident "less than" someone who has their original liver? Hold onto the fact that we just went from hospital -> biology -> culture. "There's no such thing as a truly original idea," I disagree with this statement, though I know it is a very, very popular one. I think it is true that plots and archetypes are commonly used over and over again. I think there are still original ideas out there, though. I pride myself on it, to be honest. Some of the worldbuilding you like so much comes from ideas that I've not seen in either TF canon or fanon. They tend to be smaller details that feed into bigger systems, once you take them to their logical endpoints. More on that later.

>I keep comparing to others, and keep feeling like whatever bits and pieces come to me isn't good enough. Isn't unique/cool/giant/'oh-so-new-&-different' enough.

All I can say here is that comparison is the thief of joy. If we're talking strictly fanfic, it shouldn't be this stressful on you. People love tropes for a reason. Don't be afraid to use them. Echo Garden itself has a few. "Enemies to lovers" never quite felt like the correct term, but it is recognizable and there are tons of fans of it. Remember the thing about me not writing for a year cuz I thought I wasn't good enough. Don't do that. Comparison is the thief of joy! >like I have to somehow reach that impossible 'true original idea', without using any inspiration at all (otherwise it's not 'mine') - when everything's already been thought of before by countless people.

Again, I do think there are truly original ideas still out there. You have a unique view of the world. Writing is one way to share it. All your experiences, your education, your hardships and your victories shape who you are. No one else will be looking out the same eyeballs. With practice, you can find ideas. I'll explain how I do it. Maybe that will help you, too. Though you do have, by your own words, little pieces: I have tiny pieces, the barest little foundations, I just don't know how to grow them into.. something, anything. Little pieces are a good place to start. And if they stay little, that's fine. Having a ton of little pieces layered on top of each other is what contributes richness to your world.

My goal with all the above was to address the emotional aspect of your ask. I haven't gone through everything, but I'd like to get to your core question. I am going to answer it literally, in a way that might not help you, then try to break it down into something that might be helpful.

how do you even 'do' worldbuilding?

I think. All the time. I am one of those people who has a laser focus and is able to make connections between unrelated ideas. I am always, always thinking. It's not really daydreaming. It's thinking about a single idea and then taking it for a ride down a million "what if?" paths. Put it this way: I think watching astronomy lectures is fun and I loathe parties. Fun for me is world building: building literal worlds. Playing with ideas. So how do I 'do' worldbuilding? Mostly in my head. Once I get some ideas that make sense, I write them down so I don't forget them. If I'm lucky, I'm at home at my computer and can type them fast. If I'm not, I'm at work, and I scribble them on pieces of paper. It can be anything, from a huge plot point to a teeny tiny detail.

How do I think? If I'm world building from nothing (as opposed to solving a problem or building on top of previously thought of stuff), I just... think of things that fascinate me. For Transformers, that's their biology and how it links to culture. It's their alienness. The possible geology of their world. I freaking love just thinking about that!

Once you have a fascinating idea, you push it. What does that mean? Do you recall, in the nurse/hospital example above, I noted that, while we started with 'hospital setting,' it moved to how that healing factor could be interpreted in the culture of that species? That was what I mean: taking the idea of 'alien hospital' to 'what does this mean about their biology?' to 'what does this mean about their culture?' And to be honest, this is how I do a lot of world building. Culture comes from biology and geology. This is a personal theory I have, I'm sure anthropologists have a better definition of culture. But that's the one I use for worldbuilding. What is the consequence of your fascinating idea? That is the key for me. That is how I worldbuild.

If I'm worldbuilding on top of previous stuff, it's sometimes a bit harder or easier, depending on how the previous stuff narrows your possibilities. But in that case, I usually try to be as logical as possible. Here's an example for Echo Garden:

canon facts: the Lost Light has a fuel furnace and an engine room and a bridge

me: hmm, okay, the LL has utilities and facilities, kind of like a small town. someone has to tend to those things. I'm sure some mechs have specialized knowledge that makes them a better fit for maintaining/upkeeping certain things than others. We saw Blaster on the bridge acting as a communications officer of sorts. Hmm, he's probably the best bet for keeping comm-related stuff clean and running. Hmm, that fuel furnace... I bet it's really hot in there, lol. I bet it's complicated in there. They probably have to color code the pathways to the different furnaces. I bet most mechs wouldn't like being in there because it's so hot. I wonder who'd get stuck with that chore. Well... Rodimus is fireproof, basically, and Trailbreaker could protect himself with his shield. So they can do that chore.

It feels rambly when I write it out. I suppose it could be. I do this very quickly in my mind, though. I pull from everything I know: canon, fanon, things I know from my own life experiences. This 'pulling' happens all at the same time. So, going back to that 'mental library,' as you can see, that's a powerful thing for me to have for my worldbuilding method.

Okay okay, so how can I make all that into something actionable by you? Good question. I suppose I will answer it with more questions!

Precisely define what it is you want to worldbuild. Is it cultural (language, food, clothing, music, etc)? Is it biological (bodies, adaptations, appearance, etc)? Is it environmental (geology of the world, or the inside of a space ship)? What exactly do you want to accomplish?

Once you have selected your Topic, think about all the things related to that Topic. What are the usual characteristics of Topic? Which of those characteristics can you change to fit your world? Example: food in TF. Food is often energon or engex. Food in real life is a huge part of culture. If your goal is to showcase a character making a special dish, maybe pick an irl dish you like, and see how its preparation would change if it was made out of a pretty, glowy energon-y substance instead of whatever it's made of on Earth.

If you haven't worldbuilt to your satisfaction, try another avenue. What else about Topic can you think of? What are your personal experiences regarding Topic? Maybe go do some research on Topic- you might find a neat little tidbit to incorporate into your writing.

Once you've worldbuilt Topic to your satisfaction, link it to the rest of your world! What does Topic existing do to your environment? To your characters? It's okay if Topic isn't a huge deal. That's totally fine! It's lovely to just have little worldbuilding details hanging around in the background. Remember- layering lots of tiny details really helps make a world feel rich and lived in. In the event that Topic is a big deal, repeat step 2 to discover how it affects your world.

Once Topic is happily integrated into your world, repeat the process! Take breaks, listen to music. Zone out. See if your brain can make some weird connections while you're not even really thinking about it. Be open to something that sounds kinda nuts at first. Maybe there's a way to pull it off! Or maybe not.

Side note: if you think of a really cool idea but it doesn't fit into the story you're writing right now, stick it in a file for later. Mmm, delicious ideas file, ready to be cannibalized for your next story.

So... yeah! That's how I worldbuild. Thinking a LOT and connecting ideas together and then pushing them to logical extremes/conclusions.

If you have any specific questions about anything I've written, feel free to ask. I don't think my method will work for everyone, but hopefully you can put your own spin on it and find a method that works for you.

Best of luck and happy worldbuilding :)

#ask #long post #worldbuilding #world building #nyctocryptid

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sugar-omi · 6 months

Text

angst time :,) n a little comfort at the end bc I'm a sucker

i started thinking abt mc leaving rockstar cove after they get hurt bc of that crazy 'fan' (to the anon who brought it up, YOUBE BROKEN ME<////3)

even though you want nothing to do w him anymore, he'd pay for everything. even if you move out he'll pay for whatever you want and need until you're ready to go back to work

doesnt matter how much money you have, he'd feel so bad and this is the least he can do to relieve his guilt and your troubles.

I think him leaving music is very spontaneous yk that

he took a bit of a break before he tried doing shows again but it just wasn't the same. not like before he met you and definitely didn't feel the same as when you were dating.

so before the last song, he mumbles, only audible because of the mic, that this is rhe last show he's ever doing.

the crowd gasps and murmurs collectively, his crew and manager are freaking out backstage n baxter is prbly cussing him out thru the earpiece bc wtf is he doing? we never talked abt this???

and the last song cove plays is some sad song he wrote :,,)

he's crying in the middle of it, slow tears running down his face and by the end he covers his face, hands shaking and he exhales shakily.

he's in such ruins after everything that happened, and he thought he could move on, but he can't. it's too different. everything is too real now to ignore or play off. it's not simple anymore. it's real and it got dangerous and it's scary and hes.. he's tired.

he'll thank all his wonderful fans for supporting him, for all the love, especially after that stalker.

but through tears he gives a big fuck you to everyone who harassed him and especially you.

the internet totally breaks. the news is bumping for weeks especially with every new piece that comes out

"rockstar suddenly quits"

"hardass rockstar, cove holden, crying on stage during last show"

I'm torn between cove deactivating his socials and him just leaving everything as it is.

doesn't touch it unless you ask him to change his bio n pfp and everything.... that crushes him. he cries and cries n it takes so long to delete every post/photo of you/both of you. (he downloads every one, even if he knows he has the photo still.)

the internet breaks again, n if his fans know your socials n you took cove outta your bio/deleted your photos, etc. it just confirms the rumors that you're broken up.

which leads to a few a lot articles n posts n threads abt why you broke up, or fans in ruins bc they liked you together n hoped it wasn't true.

if it gets bad or annoying or whatever, and especially if you ask before he can act altho it wouldn't take long before he makes a statement or post on whatever remaining social he has to "Stay outta our business. leave y/n alone."

and maybe the pap, creepy as always, see you and cove moving things out the house into your car or uhaul depending on how much you run away with (you can take all his left shoes n he wouldn't complain)

n now the photos n articles are circulating like wild fire and cove tries to be civil telling everyone to stfu n get out your business, but somehow he ends up making a dark, pixelated video of him in what looks like the kitchen? cussing out the pap n telling everyone to just stop n fuck off, that you're blowing it up too much n to just stop

it blows over eventually, resurfacing here and there over the years

ik rockstar cove is dramatic n wild n blah blah blah, he's crazy ik stfu I think he's great n hes like the next beyonce in my head i think but yes he is a drama queen and he's still a big crybaby

definitely ends up back w his dad, helping w his shop early on (definitely got caught behind the register once bc some fan made a tiktok captioned "cove fucking holden just rang up my surfboard and stuff im going to FAINT" and now the shop is more busy than usual)

when you run into each other again and catch up, he definitely cries and can't stop feeling bad for not protecting you better. for not doing more even though he did the most whole youbwere together to keep you safe from crazy and delusional fans

please tell him it's not his fault, bc he really did do everything before and after the attack and you'll never regret being w him. he'd blame himself so much and would cry with relief to know you don't hate him

#olba #cove holden #angst

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freefolkfightorflight · 6 months

Text

Brain Dump

I started my adhd meds again for the first time in 2 years and my brain is like hey. We got a lot of thinking to do so here you go. My current fixation as I sit on the bed telling myself to clean and wash my damn sheets im covered in.

——-

Me: I just feel so ugly

Him: you are beautiful and good. You just have one defect and you know what it is. (I’m kind of a ho who lies when I think imma be in trouble😩)

Me: you too. You are handsome and good. You just have one defect and you know what it is. (He’s insecure and jealous)

Him: do you want to marry me?

Me: yes

Him: ok good

Me: ok…😍😂 wtf, Alej

———

I think we are both broken children just trying to make it through life and it’s sad and ugly sometimes. But a lot of times it’s really passionate and beautiful.

I don’t know why I’m posting this. This isn’t new news. We’ve talked about marriage before. I’m there. He’s there. I have a ring. he called it a pre engagement ring. And I’m like so a promise ring? And he’s like no. PRE! Lol. but it’s NOT an engagement ring. I don’t care but he does.

Speaking of. He’s more traditional than I’m willing to ever be again. I will never cook every single night. I will never commit to do things like that on a forever basis again. Sometimes I’m scared he will be disappointed in that. But I haven’t faked it these past 2 years. He’s gotta know exactly what he’s getting with me.

It’s just challenging because he’s an immigrant who still has a wife in Mexico. They married super young. they’ve been separated 25 years. She lives with her ‘fiance’/boyfriend etc. but she refuses to sign the divorce papers. Every few months she dangles signing the divorce papers in front of him, asks for money, he pays her, she disappears til the next time she needs money. Currently she’s saying she will sign the papers and he’s just done being used. I keep thinking maybe she means it this time. But he knows her better. He wants to go back to Mexico to sort it out but *I* don’t want him to bc it’s so fucking dangerous coming back. He’s got 3 kids and his mom here. Please don’t leave me to care for them all if you die. Lands alive.

That’s another obstacle. The mom doesn’t want to live with me. SAME😳 but I’d at least attempt it for the good of the whole family. She said absolutely not. He said absolutely not. She wants/needs her own place when me and him get married. Have you seen rent now a days? How will we afford a place for 5 kids, and then at least 2 bedrooms for her? (For when she has his girls). Lol. He doesn’t seem concerned about this part, but I am.

I have an evil ex who put in the child custody agreement that I’m not allowed to live with a significant other unless we are married 🙄bc yes let’s do this again. otherwise I wouldn’t care so much. Like we are two years in. I’d rather just live together. Test the waters. and fuck marriage prior to that just bc of how bad it’s been in my history. But I do see myself being with him forever. So it’s fine. Whatever. Except we can’t bc his ‘ex’. Brah

I just feel chatty and already talked his ear off🙈

I texted every girlfriend I know and they’ve all stopped responding bc I’m talking too much. Send help

#Mexican #Mexicano #marrying an immigrant

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izuhan · 1 year

Text

warning: kind of possessive/yandere behavior (expect mentions of locking someone up and all that), grammatical errors, this is word vomit/brainrot

just... seungmin who dislikes it when you’re partnered with someone else he feels to be a bad person. (read: he’s jealous of)

someone he truly despises for you to be around. someone he rather witness dying than next to you to the extent he comes lurking around in the dark just to watch over you, feel his blood boil and pull you close to him and whine silently. the said bad person watching whatever he is doing.

you would be talking to that person cheerfully, indulging in their interest because that’s what partners do in the job; to create connections to trust each other. whether they mean well or not, conspiring against you or not.

it’s the same old rules everybody is following.

but seungmin is already at his limited capacity of seeing you with people he doesn’t like. just because he knows you’re capable of protecting yourself doesn’t mean he can do his job well rest assured of your being and not be around within a fair distance from you.

admit it or not, you love it when he’s like this too. all yours, clingy and adorable.

your partner understands your situation. sending you off with a smile while seungmin wears a scowl on his face. he could practically growl at the person, but he wouldn’t show such a shameful and lame act in front of you.

“aren’t you cute today too,”

“no, im not.”

you could only chuckle lovingly as he brings you close to his body. pining you on the corner of a hallway no one goes around nor passes by. it’s a perfect place to hide and let seungmin succumb to his awful feelings. let it absorb him, corrupt him until he’s feeling better himself within your company. he doesn’t need to know you enjoy it too, his state of being, a rare seungmin who dislikes something with a passion that gets to his head like so.

he wouldn’t go as far as anything beyond, really. he would only embrace you as though his life depends on it. as though if he let you go, you’d be astray and led to that person he dislikes. yeah, sure, that person’s your partner, so? seungmin is too, he’s been always your partner.

why couldn’t they simply understand you’re more capable of doing a lot, showing a lot of your abilities with him than you do with others?

sure, it’s for your own sake of diversity. to test your capabilities to connect with other people. but, as your prolonged partner, as your fucking lover—he hates everything they throw and drags you in.

seungmin is well aware of your line of work. emotions shouldn’t meld with work. however, no one has told him off yet. no one has said anything in regard to his behavior. which means he gets to be feeling like garbage you’re ready to throw but kept forgetting.

he’d be that. if it means stealing you away from that person. he’s willing to be the one inconsiderate of anything just so he knows you’re out of that person’s sight. let his emotions run wild only for you, chan wouldn’t mind him in trouble at times.

“i need to get back,” you say it like you’re happy without him. “you know i’ll come back home to you,” then why don’t you just stay home? “seungmin-ah, i love to have you like this, but wouldn’t it upset chan and the others? we always disappear at such an inconvenient time. he’d punish us to de—”

he couldn’t take it. and took your lips to his. he wants to cry. this churning feeling inside of him makes him fucking sick to his stomach and his heart aches so badly. why couldn’t you just stay? why does it have to be this way?

he pushes his tongue inside, and his grasp on your waist and your head leads you closer and closer to melt with him. tongues don’t dance with each other nor does it battle for dominance. with how hopelessly he clings to you, you seem to let him lead and take it well. like the good lover, you are. so good it drives him insane. this is why he doesn’t like anyone around you than himself.

you let him do whatever he wants to. indulging in his wildest fantasy because it’s you. you let him corrupt and break you, make you fall apart, and dance around the palm of his hand like some mindless doll you are. but you give him so much love and comfort he understands well enough that you don’t need him. he needs you. seungmin needs you. always.

all his diary entry is about you. how you’re doing. how you’re holding up. how amazing you are. how much love he has for you. how you’re exceptionally ethereal. how you’re holding the best smile, the strongest body. how he loves you most. you. and you. how could it not be you? when one looks your way, he’s greedy, he’s loving, he’s hurtful to others, he’s so loving, so lovely, so sad and happy, feeling so good and well—he feels like a child at times. he’s stubborn as one, demanding as one, clingy as one, and loving as one.

having you all to himself when all there is to him is nothing but you. you accept him for who he is even when bloodshed comes to trigger your very being.

but isn’t it all for you? that, you understand. also, it’s your work too. to mindlessly kill whoever chan assigns you to. you’re so obedient you didn’t know how seungmin had you in shambles. crying in pleasure. begging for more. crying out your love for him like no other. as if seungmin is your life source. as if there’s no one to lean on than him. your only hope, your only love, your life, seungmin.

kissing him and allowing him to corrupt your everything because that’s what you’re best at. obeying him and controlling his emotions though you also let them run wild as yours get to that point too. he breaks into your world and invites you to his, only to create a new one where anything is allowed. though there are a few limits to which you don’t mind.

after all, all you need to do is be faithful and love seungmin the way you want to be loved in return. it’s never a contract. fuck chan for saying that.

you love seungmin so dearly that you can never think of cheating, even when chan presents himself to be better. no one is compared to your seungmin. he never has to do anything to be better. he’s beyond everything and he’s yours.

he’s so adorable it hurts. “i love you seungmin, i’ll have chan know we can go back to being partners.” he puffs his cheeks again, looking the other way blushing.

“i can endure it longer, i’ll be considerate for a little while.” you kiss him while giggling, running your hands through his hair despite it was dribbling with sweat from lovemaking a few moments ago. of course, it leads to that, and it’s amazing. “i don’t want you around that person, but i don’t mind you earning experience from someone else than me.”

“pfft—you say it as if i’m going to sleep with them or something.”

he whines, bumping his head on you and rubbing it together before he’s decided to lick and bite your cheeks.

“if you do, i’ll break you. i’ll lock you here; you can never go out without my permission. i will never allow you to see anyone nor interact with anyone but me—”

“if i do, but i won’t so...”

again, he feels a bit sluggish, more overwhelmed, and loved.

“i know. all the more reason to love and keep you away from pests.”

a/n: i wrote this when i woke up at 4am like....that's unhealthy.... but also seungmin jelly. u can think of them as mafias or assassins but yeah they do crazy shit for a job (not a snippet of wip but kinda somehow related--i talk too much so I decided to put my rambling here at the end bye)

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augustrambles · 1 year

Text

DAY 2, TWEEK TWEAK, fluff alphabet

Requested

A -> Affection; how they like to show their love.

tweek shows his love by gifts. if its coffee or handmade drawings which usually turn out as if they were drawn by a two year old, but im sure you still love them. while he freaks out in case you dont like one of his gifts or you're getting sick of them, your smile makes it all worth it

B -> Beauty; what do they especially admire about you?

confidence, even if its not about yourself, just you hugging him tightly in public without being ashamed just gives him butterflies, the slightest amount of confidence makes him smile.

C -> Cuddles; how they like to cuddle you.

little spoon. i dont make the rules, he loves when you spoon him, its just something about you hugging him from behind that makes him smile, he luvs it

D -> Dancing; their favourite place to dance with you.

home, he doesnt dance much, but if you ever ask him to dance, he'd say yes. so at home isnt his favourite place, just his preferred place, again he doesnt like to dance much

E -> Excitement; do they get excited with you about things?

yes, sometimes, he gets excited and nervous at the same time if you guys have a date the day after or if you guys are going to meet the others parents, he gets excited just thinking hes going to see you the next day!

F -> First Date; your first date together.

i feel like it would be a movie date, at your house, watching a horror movie and then cuddling together would be your first date with tweek. eating popcorn while hugging eachother wrapped around in one of tweek's blankets

G -> Goals; i have no idea for G, im sorry

H -> Honesty; how open are they with you?

very! depending of course, if he'll get in trouble for telling you something, he'd get a bit nervous before saying it, but at some point he would tell you, beside that, he tells you everything

I -> I Love You; do they say it a lot? did they say it first?

you defs say it first, this man needs a lot of reassurance on saying "i love you" in the first few weeks. he thinks that you'll think he's being too rushed or whatever, but after he feels like he can say ily without being judged, he says it quite frequently especially in hello's and goodbye's

J -> Jealousy; do they get jealous?

yep, he doesnt get really mad neither does he get really sad, just insecure about himself, but a little bit of reassurance can make him get all better!!

K -> Kiss; their favourite place to kiss you.

not much of a kisser, but probably on the lips, he likes giving you little pecks as a goodbye kiss, gets really blushy and just.. butterflies.

L -> Little Spoon; who’s the little spoon?

gee i wonder

M -> Melody; what’s your song together?

i/me/myself by will wood , you'd introduce him to the song and he LOVES it! so now one of you guys can just be hearing it and go "hey thats our song"

N -> Nicknames; do they use nicknames for you?

not much, probably basic nicknames though or just a version of your name. usually just calls you by your name though

O -> Open Book; how hard was it to get to know them?

depends on what. he talks about his feelings and emotions so if its about that he's pretty open, has his flaws here and there but you know. if its about something personal that happened like a traumatic event, he'd take a longer time to open up about it.

P -> PDA; how affectionate they are in public.

holding hands and thats all he can do, key word: he. he allows you to give him kisses or hugs but he wont start them, too much pressure, pun intended

Q -> Quirk: a loveable trait of theirs.

how much he worries over you even if you're safe

R -> Romance; how romantic are they?

in the middle, he isnt too romantic like asking you on dates frequently but neither is he not romantic, to where he doensnt do much.

S -> Secrets; do they keep secrets from you?

again, like in O, he keeps secrets depending in the subject. at some point he'll tell you though

T -> Thrill; do they like to keep the relationship new and exciting?

not really, the relationship just moves on, it doesnt get boring because, this is south park.. nothing gets boring. but you and his relationship is full of love and you both believe it'll stay like that

U -> Understanding; how they comfort/support when you’re upset or anxious.

not the best comforter, but does try to stay calm himself when comforting others and especially you!! lots of hugs and affection

V -> Vexed; how easily they lose their temper.

he doesnt get mad over small things, (he does im in denial) but if he ever does he takes it out on other things like boxing, while maybe he could yell at you for things, ofc w a well done apology later, he wont insult you or take it too far. probs just "WHY DID YOU DO THAT??" and pulls his hair out twitching

W -> Weakness; what’s their weakness when it comes to you?

"tweek, calm down, i'm here for you, alright?" basically, comforting.

X -> Xtra; random hc about them.

hes a pain to sleep with (not in that way you sick perverts), he either hogs the blanket or kicks you, its a win for heavy sleepers

Y -> Years to Come; how they imagine your future together.

i dont ger this???, he images marriage then kids what else i dont think he creates fake scenarios to arms tonite by mother mother imagining him in the afterlife while you're crying over him and you and his 2year old kid repeating "wheres papa" while he tries to escape the after life and after that the song ends and francis forever plays and hes saying "i dont know what to do without you"

what im basically saying he creates fake scenarios of future hypothetical events that might happen but he wants to marry you basically

what kind of self insert is this

Z -> Zzz; how they are when they sleep.

like i said in X, hes a blanket hog and kicks in his sleep, you have to put him down for him to stay still

#south park #south park x reader #south park x y/n #sp tweek #tweek tweak #tweek south park #tweek x reader #tweek x y/n #augustrambles rambles 😈

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zoeykallus · 2 years

Note

You make angst sooo good!!! Thanks for doing my last ask. I have something similiar I wanted to ask. Lets say the reader feels they need to leave the batch for safety reasons and they dont have time to explain, even to their SO. All they can leave is a "im sorry" note and bam theyre gone. No trace. How would the batch react? Also maybe Maul too since hes such a complicated character 😔

Thank you if you do this one!

Another "ouch" one. Got it.

The Bad Batch + Maul x Reader HC's - Left Behind

Warnings: Hurt / Angst / Strong Language

___________

Summary: Leaving a "I'm sorry " note without further explanation, you're gone. The guys don't take it too well.

Maul

This man will not let you go so easily. When Maul gets attached to someone, it's an obsessive and possessive thing. Probably the reason why you ran away.

He's hurt but also angry. How dare you leave HIM?!

He will search for you tirelessly. Maul is determined to bring you back. Very likely he will find you sooner or later. Get ready for him to pull you back by the hair if he has to.

"Wasn't I always good to you?! Why are you doing this to me?!"

He won't let you out of his sight, chaining you up when he thinks there's no other way to keep you around. He also doesn't shy away from using a slave collar.

Hunter

He can't believe it. You had a few fights, but he still didn't expect that. Hunter is hurt, deep and serious.

"Why?" The question is in the room and he will look for you. You won't get rid of him without a decent explanation. He loves you, he deserves an explanation. At least that's his point of view.

He has decided to talk to you sensibly as soon as he finds you. But it is quite possible that he will make a scene if he does not like the answer.

"I certainly deserve better than to be told off like that."

Hunter has a point.

You can see the pain in his eyes, you really hurt him. No matter how things turn out, he won't recover for a long time, especially if your decision is final.

He won't open up to anyone anytime soon.

Echo

He is miserable. He feels the loss physically. "So this is what heartbreak feels like".

He will first look for the fault in himself and try to understand what may have gone wrong. Echo will look for you and ask his brothers for help. No matter whether your decision is final, he needs a last clarifying conversation, otherwise he will never come to rest.

The matter will occupy him for a long time. He is not good at letting go. Especially if your relationship was intimate and perhaps went on for a long time, he will suffer a lot. He is not unreasonable, he will understand factual arguments, but not that you just leave without telling him why.

Even if you did it for his own good for whatever reason, he needs that final conversation where everything is cleared up.

Wrecker

He is hurt and incredibly worried. Wrecker wonders if you are in trouble, if you need his help. He will ask for the opinion of his brothers.

"Do you think I did something wrong?"

The thought occupies his mind for a long time, until he knows what's really going on. If you made the decision because you want to protect him, he will not accept it so easily.

"I can take care of myself, and I can take care of you!"

In any case, he won't give up on you so easily. He will look for you and when he finds you, he will want an explanation. You don't have to worry about him making a scene if your decision is emotional. He respects you and ultimately your decision, albeit with a very heavy heart.

"I'm sorry I couldn't make you happy".

Tech

He is confused. It hurts and Tech doesn't quite understand what he did wrong. His brain is working overtime, looking for an explanation you didn't give him.

He's smart, but he still doesn't understand what made you leave him, especially since you didn't give him a reason. He will look for you and find you sooner or later.

Tech is not very good at dealing with emotional pain, he will be quite upset, probably even begging you not to leave him. It will be hard for you to see him on his knees, with that pleading look.

"Tell me what I did wrong, I'll make it right. I'll make it better"

He won't let you go so easily, he will run after you, begging and pleading. You were his first great love, he doesn't want to lose that.

"Please! I'll do anything you want!"

Should you really go through with this, he will withdraw from everyone for quite a while. Whenever his brothers come looking for him, he's curled up somewhere staring into nothingness.

Tech takes a long time to learn and recover from this.

Crosshair

Of course he is hurt but also angry. Whatever your reason, he feels he deserves an explanation after all the time you've spent together. He will look for you and he for sure as hell will find you. He's determined.

Don't expect him to beg. He just want's to know why. If it's about his safety for some reason, maybe because dangerous people are on your heesls, he waves it off and tries to get you back. After all he is a trained soldier, he knows how to fight. And he is absolutely willing to potect you, no matter the cost.

But every other reason will make him snotty and angry. Crosshair doesn't handle criticism very well, to put it mildy.

"You think you can get something better? Well then, go ahead and search it. Good luck. Don't need you anyway. Much to needy for my taste"

Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)

@rintheemolion

@andyoufollowyourheart @clone-whore-99

@brynhildrmimi @kaliel2310

@misogirl828 @tech-deck

@meshla-madalene

@chxpsi

@thebahdbitch

@nahoney22 @ladykatakuri

@darkangel4121

@ttzamara

@arctrooper69

@padawancat97

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0fucsgiveon · 1 year

Text

“Let me show you” loki x fem!reader

𝙒𝘼𝙍𝙉𝙄𝙉𝙂𝙎-pure filthy smut, creampies, praise plus pain kink. Slight sir kink. Slapping, pet names, p in v, enemies to lovers, slight angst, cum eating Sigh

Today was a hard day, you had a mission that didn’t end up well because you and loki got in a fight on who’s plan was better which helped hydra sneak up on you two. So here you two were getting an stupid ass lecture from tony.

“Don’t you get how much trouble you two caused, you need to get your shit together and stop fucking bickering. When your on a team you work and come up with a plan TOGETHER!” Tony yelled the last part anger clearly shown on his face.

You rolled your eyes and looked at Loki, his eyes caught yours and you furrowed your eyebrows while he gave you the most shitty smirk ever. “Ah, im very sorry we will fix this as soon as were at the tower, im sure y/n here would be obliged to fix it instead of acting like a blipping idiot” he stared at tony than at you.

“Im the fucking idiot! Yeah right you cant even let me finished a sentence without talking over me if any one is an idiot it’s you!” You scream and threw you hangs in there when he standed up. “Look here darling you got two things wrong one is that i am actually 1,070 years old and two your the idiot here you dont even use that human little brain you have-“

“Enough! Your both acting like kids i don’t want another word out of you or im kicking you out of the jet you understand?”

The ride to the tower was quiet and you kept fiddling with your finger avoiding eye contact with the “god” in front of you. When you did arrive tony told you guys to sort out your problem’s and stop causing havoc for the team with your nonsense bickering. The team was out on a team dinner, you and Loki weren’t invited for messing up the mission. So here you were cooking a meal for the two of you. Loki looked over you shoulder every once in a while. “When is it going to be done im bloody starving!” He rumbled at the counter leaning over. Rolling your eyes your turned around “its almost done ok why don’t you just shut up and wait” he scoffed and walked away.

Dinner was finally done, the smell filled your nose making you smile. It was one of your favorite dishes and you knew it tasted delicious. In fact you would have been a chef if you had no powers and were “normal”. “Loki get your ass down here dinner is done!”

As you set the table Loki came down, looking over at him you swore you never saw him better. He was wearing grey sweats with a tight white shirt his hair damp while he was drying it off his arm’s flexing. “Are you gonna stare all day darling” he chuckled and you rolled your eyes.

“This is delicious, gosh you should have told me sooner you knew how to cook!” He scarfed down his food. Scoffing you looked up at him smiling “well you never asked just assumed i was bad at everything..” you softly spoke.

He looked back up at you “i never said you were bad at everything y/n.” He grabbed your hand.

“Look i know i can be a ass sometimes, but your a good person and im sorry i treat you like shit.” He rubbed your palm with his thumb.

You pulled your hand away and bite your cheek. You would never admit but you liked him a lot, to the point you had so much pent up tension causing you two to fight. “Yeah.. right” you looked down at the floor. He smirked “ why don’t i show you how good of a person like you should be treated”he bite his lower lip. You look up at him immediately “And how do you supposed you would do that?” You whisper in her ear leaning over the table. He groaned “just let me show you, yeah?” You softly nodded and in a mater of seconds you were on his shoulder being dragged to his room. He threw you on the bed and crawled on top of you kissing and sucking whatever skin he could making you softly moan and feel yourself get even more wet. “Fuck, do you know how long I’ve dreamed of this? How many times i came to the thought of you princess” he groaned in your ear. “You make me feel so fucking hard and filthy. You moan a d his confession and rubbed your core against his knee desperate for any type of friction. He grab ed your him stopping your movements. “Tsk none of that princess gotta tell me what you want ok?” He looked down at you which you simply nodded. He softly slapped you “words darling”

“Yes sir” he groaned at your response and slowly undressed you. “What do you want princess?” His hand dipped lower softly rubbing around your abdomen teasing you. “Fuck, please touch me needa feel you” he kept his movements im the same place. “I am touching you” he smirked. He wanted you to beg and you knee that you would as long as you got to cum you would do anything for him. “Fuck please just fuck me make me cum all over you please me like you said you would or are you just a liar!” He slapped your clit causing you to jump. “Fuck there she is my feisty little pet, ill make you fucking cum so hard you wont be able to do it yourself” he lowered starting fingering you hitting the spot you needed him. Breathless moans came out your mouth. “Mmm just like that, let me hear you” he groaned and lowered down to suck on your clit. Already on the edge you knew you were close almost embarrassed how fast he is going to make you cum. “Loki! Fuck gonna cum” you scream he only licked faster. “Go ahead darling cum all over my fingers let me taste you.” When your high washed over you he licked up every last drop. Slowly he sat up using his magic to dispose of his clothes.

“Ima fuck you now ok? Get on your hands and knees” he moaned while fisting himself. When you caught a glance of his member you felt scared and worried it wouldn’t fit. He was long and thick, yes he wasn’t human but you knew it would hurt. “Don’t worry ill go slow at first ok?” You nodded and flipped over on your hands and knees. He rubbed his cock over your hole covering it in your juices before slowly pushing in. It felt like hours before he was all in and you swore you felt him in your belly. After a min you finally adjust and thrusted back into him. “Fuck you feel jus’t like heave’n” he moaned i to your ear before slowly thrusting into you making sure to hit your spot every time making you moan his name.

“So’ goo’d! Harder please fuck!” He complied and fucked into you at a rough pace skin slapping surrounding the room.

He slapped your ass so many time sit stung. “Fuck gonna cum soon can you hold in for me” he could feel the way your pussy was clenching him and knew you were close. You mumbled yes and he rubbed your clit. “Fuck gonna cum inside you on the pill!” He moaned loudly! You moaned yes in response and you both came in pure bliss.

After awhile he slowly pulled out and spread your lips apart to watch both your guys cum spill out. He cleaned you both up and you guys cuddled. “Y/n i met what i said earlier.. your a really good person and i made so many mistakes in my life but. I like you a lot” he was almost crying. You pulled him in a kiss “ i like you to Loki”

“We’ll finally they fucked each-other” Thor howled while the rest of the team laugh.

#loki laufeyson #loki x female reader #loki x f!reader #loki smut #smut #loki fanfction

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moonlightshaiku · 8 months

Note

Hello! May I request a pair up? ^^

My names Dahlia (I go by Luka too but mostly Dahlia) and I'm non binary but kinda go with whatever pronouns people call me and wear whatever I feel like. I'm omniromantic and demi sexual!

I enjoy art (writing, dancing, painting, ect..), books, collecting things, bugs (I have a collection of bugs I preserved in bottles myself :), gardening, dyeing my hair black, diying clothes, luxury, science fiction and horror, cats or birds, classical music/metal/and some other alt genres of music, goth and alt everything ngl, gothic fashion or mall goth, organizing, stars, making edits, spending or earning money, bones, zombies, scheming, military stuff, debating, learning bcs knowledge is power, and hiking

My flaws and quirks are that I tend to be jealous, have a bit of a savior/supioriority complex but internally don't think I'm that great yk, a bit impulsive, really blunt, don't sleep don't eat just gotta get what I need done, petty, anxiety, depression, PTSD, ADHD, maladaptive dreaming disorder, nightmares 🌚, half done projects everywhere, competitive, loves to spoil my lover a little to much, can't sit still, needs to be uniqe, daddy issues, only ever listen to those I care for other than that im not a very good listener and a addiction to caffeine and success

My personality is entj with some enfp sprinkled in and 3w4, but basically, selfless to those I care about even a bit, polite, messed up but pretty self sustaining, eccentric, confident, can take charge, creative, assertive, sarcastic, blunt but can and will lie, extrovert, methodical, attentive, thrill seeking, witty, mindful of others unless I don't like the person, passionate, ambitious, stubborn, expressive, charismatic, sophisticated (most the time), adaptable, bit of a day dreamer but also realistic, and can and will do as I please to get what I please (unless your someone Im even just chill with I don't like hurting people to much unless they deserve it or I'm doing it on accident)

And that's it! I hope you have a lovely evening dear freind! I may have ranted a bit sorry :') but thank you so much I hope I wasn't to much trouble!

-🍷

Sevika!

(General Information: Sevika is a character from Arcane. She's a gruff fighter with a metal arm prosthesis. She's also very responsible, intelligent, and will try to end confrontations peacefully if possible.)

Sevika would absolutely love and spoil you! She's really relieved to be with someone who she believes can actually handle themself. She does worry, nonetheless.

She doesn't have a lot of time on her hands, but she'll spend every moment possible with you. Loves spoiling you, just as you spoil her. When her (relatively large) paycheck comes in, she would absolutely love taking you shopping.

She loves your ambition! Whatever you plan to do in your adult life, she will support. She'll get you whatever you need and put as much of her spare time forward as possible.

She probably picks up little trinkets and bugs when she has the time? And (especially if you're forgetful) will leave it on counters/tables. Just little offerings she hopes you won't mention.

Sevika has a lot of trauma, and is surprisingly good at calming people down. She'll usually boss them around, get them functioning and then talk. But she can also be soft. Kneel down and pat, murmur, whatever needed. Whenever Sevika is dealing something, she tends to get irritable and might even cry a bit, quietly and alone. A good, warm meal will calm her enough to talk it over.

Sevika isn't really jealous, and she's fine with your being jealous as long as it doesn't prevent her from doing something. If it does, she'll sit you down and attempt to understand and better the situation.

I can see a lot of good communication in the relationship, and a lot of mutual spoiling (and breakdowns)!

Alternate Pairing(s):

Kylo Ren — Star Wars

#sevika x you #sevika x reader #arcane sevika #sevika #arcane #pair up #lesbian #nonbinary #gay :)#wine anon

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quodekash · 9 months

Text

TIME FOR EPISODE 6 ive got my fingers crossed for a jengpok kiss but my hopes aren't high (but jokezo had better kiss this episode tho or im gonna riot)

this is so unnecessarily funny

DUDE WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, YOU LITERALLY KISSED HIM

YOUR FRIENDS DONT HAVE THAT BIT OF CONTEXT

THEY JUST THINK JOKE RANDOMLY LIKES YOU

THEY ARE FULLY UNAWARE OF THE FACT THAT YOU FULLY MADE OUT LIKE A WEEK AGO, AND THEN IMMEDIATELY AFTER, YOU SLEPT IN THE SAME BED AS HIM

no I will not shut up about the bed thing

LOOK I KNOW WHAT HE MEANS HERE, BUT THE PHRASING IS JUST SO FUNNY

"just be straight" YEAH THAT'S THE PROBLEM KOT, HE'S NOT STRAIGHT

I think im laughing a little too hard about this

literally everyone except zo, im pretty sure everyone knows

especially nita

she's the captain of their ship and no one can change my mind about this

oh nooooooooooo how terrible, how disgusting, what a terrible turn of events

now jokezo have a lot of time to spend together in an empty room, and nothing to do

what on earth will they do about this?

it would be a real shame if they kissed

👀

what kind of fun are you implying, joke?

are you going to kiss

I think that maybe they should kiss

HE PUT THE BAG AROUND HIS NECK OMG THATS SO FUNNY

they are holding handssssss

GIBU3RBKEJWGDSOVJRBE

HANDS

THEY ARE HOLDING HANDS

HES SO DRAMATIC

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

things we didn't know about joke before the series, yet are entirely unsurprising and make a lot of sense: 1. he's afraid of heights, 2. he's insanely dramatic when playing a zombie video game

im so mad that zo can't see his own face rn

if he could, he would SEE his feelings for joke, and then he would be able to communicate that with joke, and then they can go out AND THEY WOULD KISS

HES SO HAPPYYYYY

yes

agreement

yes

good advice with zo

communication is key

holy frick that is terrifying

frick

I dont know what to say

this is horrible and I hope whoever that was is found and stops doing it because nita's safety is really in trouble right now and im very scared for her

oh and it just gets worse

holy frick

this is not good

FRICK

NITA, RUN

CALL JOKE

PUNCH THE GUY

KICK HIM IN THE NUTS

FRICK

im not gonna put the blame on joke rn but I really feel like he shouldn't have left her alone after that

she was clearly terrified and vulnerable and scared of something happening, and I think he probably should've at least offered to go with her and make sure she was safe because now she's alone and im so scared of whatever is about to happen

I hate this guy so much please die sir

frick

im crying out of fear and anger and mostly fear

this is terrifying

OHTHANKGOODNESS ZO IS HERE

he said 'get your hands off my girlfriend' and like they broke up but if they have to lie that they're dating in order to protect Nita's safety, im all for it man

OH, OH, OKAY, THAT WAS A FLASHBACK

this also explains the awkward uncomfortableness she was clearly feeling when on that kind-of date with zo

ohhhhhhhhh so they never actually dated? that actually explains a lot of stuff that I didn't realise needed explaining

number 1 jokezo shipper wants to tell zo that she and joke aren't dating so that he can date joke, but she's waiting for zo to ask before she'll tell him

(either that or she knows zo likes her, but shush I want to stay true in my belief that nita ships jokezo more than anyone around)

huzzah, a confusingly worded confession to the girl after he realises he doesnt actually like her, im smelling pat napat jindapat

she knows its joke, I swear she knows its joke

FTSDFSTFDSFDT

HANDS

HANDS INITIATED BY ZO

AAAAAAAA

hang on

wait a second

what was that

jeng isn't single

bro you have a boyfriend

what the hell just happened

im so confused rn

its not like this is the first time that they've sLEPT IN A BED TOGETHER

and the first time it was immediately after they MADE OUT and then DIDNT TALK ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS

im still so angry about this

ill never not be angry about this

KISS

PLEASE

P L E A S E

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

DUDE YOU KEEP REACHING FOR HIS HAND

ITS LIKE YOURE IN LOVE OR SOMETHING

JUST KISS ALREADY

OR ADMIT YOUR FEELINGS

OR DATE

OR ALL OF THE ABOVE

I mean I do get that zo needs more time to figure out his feelings before hes gonna say them out loud and yada yada all that, I do get it.

but also: you keep reaching for his hand, you KISSED HIM, and generally im pretty sure if someone likes you and you know they like you and they make moves on you and you do nothing to stop them and you dont feel uncomfortable with them making moves on you and whatnot then that means you either really like attention OR YOU ALSO LIKE THEM AND IN THIS CASE ITS THE LATTER

wait what the hell, next episode jokezo are going on a date, AND we're meeting joke's grandma, AND she's homophobic, AND there's some guy zo knows who he's trying to avoid? CAN TI PLEASE BE NEXT WEEK ALREADY, I HAVE QUESTIONS

conclusion of this episode: a lot happened with Nita, jokezo DIDNT kiss, jengpok ALSO didn't kiss, I love Nita with all of my soul, aND SOMETHING HAPPENED WITH JENG GIVING HIS IG TO A GIRL COS HE SAID HE'S SINGLE AND I WOULD LIKE SOMEONE TO PLEASE HELP ME AND TELL ME I MISINTERPRETED THE LINES OR MAYBE IT WAS A MISTRANSLATION OR SOMETHING BECAUSE IF NOT THEN SOMETHING'S GOING ON AND IM SO CONCERNED FOR MY BABIES PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME

#quodekash's unhidden agenda to watch hidden agenda #hidden agenda #hidden agenda series #hidden agenda the series #jokezo #zojoke #jengpok #pokjeng #joongdunk #boomaou #aouboom #jamie juthapich #joint arches #dunk natachai #aou thanaboon #boom tharatorn

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maaxverstappen · 9 days

Note

I’ve been asking ppl cus im nosy. What’s your writing process like if any? Do u have a preferred place or time. Preferred device. Do u write rough drafts then edit or is it much more considered. How do u decide that an idea is worth fleshing out or pursuing if it looks like it’s plotty. Pls yap at length if u so wish — wiz

i love this question!! and would love to know other answers so if you want to reblog them i shall be on the lookout 👀.

i answered partly here so will just like build on that!!

the process is that i’ll have an idea and depending on how large it is write out some sort of outline. my preference for all planning in life is on paper so i have a little journal that ill write out some ideas in. kind of brainstorm / mind map style of just jotting down random ideas that come to mind.

however, with longer fics like my current post-as-i-go wip i have to do it digital bc so much changes and it’s too long (see pics in previous ask). that one i actually started planning in my notes app on a plane bc the idea had to come out of me someway and i was really excited about it. i then transferred it to a google doc and added onto my chapter per chapter outline (1st pic in previous ask). i felt like that was a bit overwhelming for understanding the overall plot so then i went and made a simple overview of the key plot points per chapter (the 2nd pic in previous ask) just so i felt like i had a better understanding of the goal per chapter.

now when i sit down to write a chapter ill get both the detailed notes and the main plot points and just write whatever i feel like in order to get to the goal of the chapter.

for shorter one shot fics i’ll either have no full outline or a one page idea list kind of thing. for instance, for worth the trouble i knew that it would start and end in the present time and then everything in between would be a flashback, but i didn’t know the flashbacks would be non chronological until i was writing it. same for the chewing gum aspect that ends up being quite an important part of the symbolism and that almost weaves the parts together, that wasn’t a *thing* until i was almost finished with the rough draft and i then went to add it in to previous scenes.

for my long fic i have to be a bit more calculated with the hidden messages/foreshadowing as i can’t go back and edit published chapters lmao so that is a little more thought out + i keep track of loose ends to tie together at some point.

editing is a bit of a harder one. for my long fic my overal editing is per chapter, but i do tend to go back and edit per section too. like right now I’m writing a texting scene and first i wrote the plain texting dialogue, then i went back to add the bits in between from characters’ pov. then i’ll read over it fully and edit where needed. finally when the whole chapter is done ill read over it and edit again, but at that point it’s mainly grammar and punctuation.

my main writing issues i’ve noticed so far is that i tend to switch tenses without realising so that’s something i look out for when editing. i also am always worried they don’t *do* enough so i like to think “hmm what action can i add in here to make them more human” when editing.

so far only worth the trouble has been beta read, the rest i do myself. if I’m stuck i will talk through a lot of it with my partner who will give me some ideas and just like help lmao (she’s also the one that beta read wtt!). but she’s not in the f1 fandom so it’s a little hard to have her beta read for characterisation and specific plot points so i do that myself. like when she beta read wtt she gave a few points of feedback that weren’t too relevant bc the average f1 fic reader would understand (like the significance of spa21, there is no need to explain it).

I’m a baby fic writer so a lot of my process will be redefined and refined as i go I’m sure.

as for deciding what to write, it’s really whatever captures my attention. the prompt for help me hold onto you is one i really liked and a trope i love reading myself. i was also ready to challenge myself to a longer plot fic and i was really excited about the idea so i just went for it! my main consideration is really just how excited i am for it.

i will say that i am currently really struggling with perfectionism / imposter syndrome. I’m having a hard time getting the words onto paper bc it feels like it’ll never be as good as my favourite authors anyway so what’s the point. (which is now also impacting the way i read fics bc it makes me sad that ill never write anything as good as what I’m reading lol)

i generally write on my laptop! in a google doc with grammarly activated and the word count on screen (which pisses me off bc i have to turn it back on after every refresh). i wrote my latest crafty!oscar on my phone (bc i was too excited to wait till i got to my laptop) but wouldn’t ever do that for anything much longer or plot-ier than that.

i fear this has gotten very long. i know u said yap away but …. i perhaps have yapped too close to the sun.

#really liked answering this :-) and the fic writer asks from the weekend too. so fun #she says as she still has unanswered asks from that game in her inbox #anyway #thanks wiz <3 a community gem as always #m answers #about me

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