#im not judging people who do those things bc its me. im people lol

[perilegs]

You often leave tags worrying about your English spelling and typos, which is ridiculous because you have better English grammar and correct spelling more than most first language English speakers

ahdjdk i know but ty, i appreciate hearing it!

#ask #anonymous #to be real for a sec i know my level is pretty good but for a long time being good at learning languages was the only thing i was good at #so since there are a lot of words i dont know the meaning of or cant use and other ppl who dont speak english as their native language do #i feel like im not allowed to not know those things bc whats my excuse. would i know what those words meant in my native language if i was #given the translation? definitely not! #and i know i make an equal amount of weird grammatical errors and typos in both english and finnish #but i feel like i will b judged harshly for making those mistakes in a 2nd language and people will look at me and think damn #at least im better than him lol cant believe he actually writes like that yikes #which isnt true but idk i just feel like it's socially more acceptable to make mistakes in your native language than a language that youve #been learning since you were a child. its ridicilous to strive for perfection especially bc im not a writer or getting a degree in english #or anything like that #idk man #and the stress i have about speaking in a perfect manner has made it so that idk how to pronounce a lot of words and sometimes #find it hard to get even a single word out bc i know im going to sound dumb bc i have a strong accent and forget words #but not only that its bc i have nearly no practice in actually speaking english bc im terrified of it bc i have no practiced bc im terrifi #you get the point #anyways saying/writing things weird on purpose helps in a weird way?? everyone else with this problem should also try it #but yea idk something about being judged in a complete different way as soon as someone finds out english isn't your native language #like i know i got all a's in english all thorough school and stuff but agh idk #i hold myself to higher standards than i hold native speakers lmaoo #im trying to learn out of it tho #ive literally done some translation jobs and notice nuances some non native speakers miss bc some things you just have to feel no matter ho #w good your knowledge is #yet im still here like sigh if someone knows one more thing than i do its over for me #which is not good lmaoooo #leevi talks

[faintedlcve]

END OF 2023

sorry to anyone who didn't want to be tagged xx

hi! most of you will know me as lucy (unless you're @m3ntallyunstable34 and know my real name lol)

so yes, i am lucy. and this is me reflecting on 2023 on tumblr because it seems like a logical thing to do considering this year sucked like 20% less (one of us is lying reference) because of all my amazing online friends. so yes i guess in a way this is a mutual appreciation post 🫶

@berryzxx you wouldn't believe me when i tell you you were the first mutual i didn't have to be all professional and got to be a crazy bitch with lmao so thank you for not judging me and talking to me like we're besties (we totally are btw bc i said so) mwahh

@longlivestv the loml literally owe my life to you bee 🫶🫶 you are one of the main reasons i'm friends with all of the people i will mention after, so tysm and thank you for being so sweet to me and i love flirting with you /hj ilysm 💗 also if im too young to fall in love why do you keep running through my brain? 😍😍

@loserdiaz one of the very few people i get to openly talk to and not feel weird doing it akshdasjhd ilysm april <33 and youre one of the only people i will ever admit has better pick up lines than me (thats a huge honour btw) so thank you for keeping up with me and flirting with me it makes me feel very special mwahhh and ily and we should totally snuggle by the fireplace you know i made those cookies you like (sab reference) 😍🫶

@weeping-in-the-willows thank you for being the absolute SWEETEST person to me <3 ilysm and btw you were my first discord friend and i'm so honoured about that ajshdnjfe you're so nice and ily and i hope you get everything you want

@theladyinwhite13 thank you for appreciating my unhinged comments and you're one of the few people who deserve to be told that they are funnier than me (i rarely ever give anyone this honour btw so its very special) and i think you might appreciate this reference 'so what if i just wanna be a little out of my mind'

@bodybetters and @its-tortle karo and tortle my beloved <3 ilysm you're like two of the BEST mutuals ever and i was so honoured happy excited (any other positive adjective) when i realised you followed ME back?!? i was literally so ajshdnjfe i can't even put it in words you're like my favourite people on this hellsite (affectionate)

@suugarbabe ajdhhgajsgf my pookie <33 you always stand up for me and ilysm for it youre the nicest to me what did i ever do to deserve you 😭❤️

@patrophthia omg the absolute sweetestt!! youre an angel and ilysm and i hope you have the best life every <33 ilysm thank you for being so nice to me and making me feel valued asjdhajksd i love youu

@theautistmwitch omg idk how youre still sane after hearing to my traumatising jokes 😭 ilysm mwahh❤️thank you for being so sweet to meee it makes me so happy <333 can't wait to traumatise- uh i mean make you laugh even more next year!

@kurtcobainsgreencardigan ajkshdad i had the time of my life 'bullying' [insert their name] (i dont wanna get cancelled yk just in case people actually like them) with you <33 [i mean you technically didn't 'bully' them but we bonded over that] you're so funny and sweet and ily<3

@catastrxblues nadine the loml <33 i LOVED chatting with you and ranting to you and reading your answers to my asks akgdskg im so glad to have you as a mutual and i would love to have some more ranting convos with you in the future haha asdhjhajsh ilysm mwahh <3

@nyctophile-me omg you're so sweet to meee 😭😭😭 ily you're like one of my favourite wives too you're one of the only people i will ever share sab with mwah ❤️❤️ id love to talk to you more next year <3

@magicandmaybe @andi-is-bored @alltheliars and @animallover4000 omg you're all so sweet and ily and we didn't really interact a lot this year but i loved chatting with you on discord 💕

@imperpetuallylost omg ilyy you're so unintentionally (or intentionally?) funny ahsjdnfne and i guess it's inevitable sorry sky but it looks like you (lea not sky) deserve to [redacted] goosebot and it's well deserved ajsjdjdne ily and id love to interact more with you next year <33

@london-affairs literally started talking to you like 5 days ago and we were flirting non stop that's CRAZYYYY ily btw pookie 😍

@m3ntallyunstable34 my literal best friend!! i absolutely love you mwah mwah mwah thank you for being my best friend and dealing with me for 12 years llama im shocked you're not insane yet ahsjsj ilyyyy ❤️

these are the mutuals that made me throw my phone across the room and scream in excitement when i realised THEY followed ME

also i will take this moment to thank all of you for making my year amazing and i love you all so much and i hope you have THE BEST 2024. thank you so much for being a part of my crazy blog i would never have imagined 438 people would find this silly little blog 🫶

@cassiopeiasdaughter @faultsline @underthenightskydreamsneverdie @theostrophywife @slytherinslut0 @imperpetuallylost @themidnightarcher @stvrlighhttt @psychedeliccc @prettybaby-grande @nqds @themidnightarcher @i-miss-you-im-sorry @cottoncandywhispers @svnflowermoon @finalgirllx @fallingforfictionalcharacterss @ashisgreedy @moonffe @suugarbabe @wordsarelife and @xobridgertonblues (i might've tagged some people twice sorryyyy)

#moots <3 #end of 2023 #goodbye 2023 #here i come 2024 #please suck even less #luce posts 💌

[v4-v1]

There's one thing I do truly wish to understand here; why do you draw the things that can be considered pro-fiction? What do you gain out of this? Genuinely curious.

I really thought if i should answer this one since i don't wanna be too descriptive with personal stuff

But i always drew fucked up stuff, since i was 7 or so, with characters that i liked (before being in a fandom obviously) so its something i did from a young age because of the stuff that happened to me.

For a long time i wondered why i started drawing things of that kind, drawings that were even "glamourized". (I always knew those were no more than that: drawings, i was aware that stuff was wrong in the real life so you can calm down if you thought otherwise)

From some introspection that i did at 13 (bc i suddenly remembered everything with clear detail at that age for some reason) i realized i drew/draw those specific things in that way bc i wanted/want to have some control over what happened, how things could've been happen (positive or negative) and how i imagined those other people that did stuff to me might felt/feel about the situation. Closure.

Years passed and i still draw about things because i'm, well, traumatized lol but i don't feel pressed about that, i never did, i always knew something happened to me and it is how it is

So no i don't cry my eyes out while drawing fucked up things, i don't feel horny either. Is just normal in my experiencie and nowadays fun.

Today is just something that is part of how i express myself (and ppl who i know won't judge me). Because i do that stuff for myself

I guess what i gain from drawing that is autonomy and indivituality???? Im not going to let someone to tell me what i should or shouldnt draw and how should i express myself. Is liberating

But that's just me as an specific victim and artist so please don't compare me with other ppl just to say "well they are traumatized too and didn't do that", everyone have their own personal reasons and i know i'm not hurting anyone

#ask #pro ship #pro fic #< i put these tags bc i think maybe other people would feel seen with this! i hope

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

hi it's me again lol i started watching spy x family and omfg. i get the hype now. it's so good

matchup(s) for spy x family, bsd and haikyuu pls!! i added some more details

some facts abt my appearance lol: im 4'9 (i am fr), kind of chubby, brown filipino, dark brown hair. also im an istj. 5w6 based on a quiz i took some months ago.

in terms of personality, im naturally quiet lol i can't help it. even when im around ppl i like, im still on the listeners side unless i have something good to say. otherwise im sorry but you'll have to be the one to start convos 😭

my jokes are mean so im kind of afraid to joke around unless ik they can argue back jokingly. and aren't sensitive. i'm also kind of blunt to the point that it's sometimes a problem. i'll apologize obv but man it makes me a little antisocial lol

in spite of istj stereotypes, i (try to) give my criticism very gently. i try to make sure that the other person knows im not judging or insulting but giving advice. i'm blunt but not that blunt

i like helping ppl out & taking care of others, actually. i like feeling appreciated/needed by others. tbh, it's why im aiming to become a nurse if i pass the exams. if i don't, i still want something along those lines. :))

hobbies: reading (aka prowling around in libraries), watching shows, i like cooking too but idk if it counts bc i don't have many opportunities to do it

aesthetic: coquette, femme fatale sort of thing. laces, bows, frills, etc. i like everything on me modest tho

likes : coffee, any hot drink, reading (tho i don't have the mind power these days lol) , scary movies, ghost hunting videos, history docs, romance but with awkward fmcs. taking walks, and... pink.

dislikes : cluttered spaces (i can't handle stuff just being thrown around. i need even a bit of organisation. not much of a clean freak but i need to know where everything is), crowded and noisy places, non-specific instructions (stresses me out fr), not submitting stuff on time bc its embarrassing, awkward situations (ex. meeting someone for the first time)

have a great timezone!! hope ur food is always warm unless u want it cold 🍲

Hi! Thank you for your request! I took out the Bungo Stary Dogs matchup since you mentioned you've already got one before. Sorry this took so long. I hope you like your matchups!

In Spy x Family, I match you with...

This was a close call between Loid and Yuri, but I think you’d get along slightly better with Loid due to his less boisterous personality.

Loid loves cooking with you and taking walks. There’s not a lot in his life that he finds relaxing but spending quality time with you doing something as mundane as walking or cooking helps him take a load off.

Very clean so no need to worry about clutter. He does his fair share of housekeeping, so you also don’t have to worry about being run off your feet trying to keep the house clean all by yourself.

Admires your desire to help people. That’s one of the main reasons he became a spy, so he values that trait in others greatly. It makes him feel like he can trust you.

Loid is amazing at making you feel needed and appreciated without forcing you to work too hard for it. You hung up his coat for him? Thank you so much. You set the table for dinner before he got home? That’s great, it means you can cook together and have dinner earlier now.

In Haikyuu, I match you with...

You and Kiyoko are the quiet (and kind of intimidating) power couple. While you can both be a bit standoffish, you do like helping people and genuinely care about those close to you.

I see Kiyoko as someone who enjoys watching history documentaries and ghost hunting videos. They’re very different from what people think of when they see her, but I think she finds them intriguing.

Loves taking walks with you! There’s nothing better than being able to finish up with the volleyball team and walking home with the person you care about most.

Speaking of the volleyball team, there’s absolutely no way there’s ever going to be a peaceful or quiet moment with them around. If you’re still uncomfortable in noisy places like this, Kiyoko’s more than happy to meet up with you somewhere quieter.

Sometimes she needs to vent about school or her commitments with the team so she’s very grateful you’re there to lend an ear. Please know that she’s there for you if you ever need to talk as well.

#writing #fanfic #matchup #matchup request #request #spy x family #loid forger #haikyuu #kiyoko shimizu

[threebooksoneplot]

ok so this is a hypothetical scenario bc i listen to a buncha pods about books and sometimes the podcasters have Bad Takes and will b like "i think people generally think [insert bad take]" and i always want to scream and reach out to them like: no. respectfully, i luv ur pod, but shut up ur wrong, or at least to be like: if ur gonna insist on having this take at least acknowledge that there are also other takes out there pls n thanks (yall do this its gr8 im here for it!) anyway i was wondering if someone said something to that effect to you would you be like: ok noted thanks for the feedback ... or would you be like: anyway ur wrong actually bye what would ur response to this incredibly vague hypothetical scenario be?? im curious! thanks for indulging me/my curiosity lol ... ok thats all bye

I mean, I (G) feel like we've definitely done both of those things at different times! kinda depends on the take. like, does the phrase "it's not that deep" apply? then we're probably gonna go for a jokey "you're wrong" Response B. In fact, I'd say 90% of the time when we go for Response B we are joking (James did nothing wrong and Victoria should get to kill Bella as a treat.)

but in general we tryyyyyy to leave room for nuance and point out where we ourselves are biased? you guys are the best judge of whether or not we succeed at that, lol. personally I think the key is just doing what you said above, and acknowledging other takes exist. our experiences are not universal! we try to keep our finger on the pulse (haha vampire jokes) of what other fans are saying even as we acknowledge that "other fans" is a HUGE and diverse category that includes everyone from Cheryl in the Bite Me Edward facebook group who's been writing edbella fic on ff.net since 2009 to Emersyn on tiktok who saw Twilight for the first time last year to Princess Weekes, who just released a new video essay on how not all critiques of the series are bad faith vitriol.

it's also why we have guests! shannon and I are in such close agreement on most things that we knew from the start we wanted to introduce more diversity of opinions, lol.

we ourselves definitely have opinions of the reactionary "we've heard this take we disagree with one too many times online and now we can't help but rip it to shreds when it comes up" variety (stan renee for clear skin) but consider this our re-upped commitment to pointing out to the audience whenever that's the case. we know some of you guys probably like, touch grass and may not be aware of the niche online twilight discourse that poisons our brains 24/7

overall, New Moon has been a great place to build up our "acknowledge that other takes exist" muscles! it feels like every 5 pages we were both stopping to be like "well I don't find this compelling, but I can see why someone else...might...like this." it's definitely opened up my perspective to reread the books after years of being in fandom and being exposed to so many opinions.

so, yeah: it's a boring answer, but our response to the hypothetical situation would depend on the hypothetical take. we hope (and continue to work) to always leave room in our Serious discussions for other points of view!!

#asks #orri0nn

[markets]

hi markets how is life going for u bc basically the guy who was my best friend for years well we stopped talkign last spring completely bc long story short he was Very in love with me and i could not get myself to feel the same even though i TRIED girl i genuinely tried sohard but that just ended up with him feelinbg led on and hurt and asked to never speak to me again hahalol well yeah he just texted me out of the blue bc he got a leaked frank ocean song and sent it me. because he knows i love frank ocean and knew i wouldg love it and whAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THAT DOESNT HE REALIZE THAT NOW THIS SONG WILL BE FOREVER ATTACHED TO THE FEELING OF GUILT AND HEARTBREAK AND ILL NEVER BE NORMAL ABOUT A SONG THAT WILL PROBABLY NEVER BE RELEASED AND WILL ONLY EVER EXIST AS AN ATTACHMENT IN OUR MESSAGES????? anyway yeah. the song wasgood

ANON. anon listen to me because i literally had this exaxt same situation with my (now ex) best friend SINCE MIDDLE SCHOOL almost two years ago. i also tried and i also accidentally led on and hurt them and they didnt ask me to never speak to them again and actually jsut ignored me all summer instead and likely got all our shared friends (aka most of my friends lol) to do the same so i just didnt bother trying to reconnect once school started again. im also currently on the other end of this kind of as the best friend who took that old best friends place (though we probably wouldve ended up becoming best friends even without that whole mess i hope) broke up with me after a few very good months of dating and a few very bad ones and i asked him not to speak to me for a while but then decided to reconnect with (which judging by the fact that im active on tumblr could be going better).

so yeah now that ive given you my credentials heres what you do you thank him if you havent already and tell him you hope hes doing well and then you put your phone down and go on a walk far far away from it and think about the whole thing. that isnt the best advice because there realyl is no good advice for this situation its one of those things that tears you apart and then points at you and says haha oh YOURE torn apart you say wow what a selfish asshole haha!! but honestly its so clear to me just from this one ask that you care about him so much and im sure he can see that too. if hes texting you he can at least see it a little, and if you would like to do so im sure your friendship is salvagable. the person who put me as the heartbreak emoji in their "people i had feelings for this year" tik tok last december invited me to their house last month and we laughed and joked even though last time i had been there i had been pretending to feel something i could only wish i truly felt. and i dont think theirs an effort more admirable and beautiful than trying to save something like that, than looking the world straight in the eyes and saying "you want me to leave this for dead but i wont because i CARE and that means something." i mean if he wants too of course. which if he sent the text he might thats kind of how i wnet about it when i tried to reconnect too. maybe take this with a grain of salt because im in a highly emotional time in my life but all im going to say is im sorry anon. i know how awful it is to lose a best friend. and im hoping everything goes well for both of you

#angieanswers.txt

[flockofdoves]

as someone who was so so obsessed with the book good omens in middle school the show is so weird for me. like not in a bad or good way just like a neutral way of it having kinda different themes and aziraphale and crowley have a different dynamic and different perspectives on life and experiences and are more integrated into Plot instead of kinda existing outside of it as almost a constant symbol for the overarching plot arc.

and watching the first season without it being clear thered be a second made me a little sad that they werent as affectionate and familiar with each other as in the book. but as a starting point for a larger story where they are actually part of the plot it makes sense for them to have that conflict and have the plot be them working up to having a relationship like they do throughout the book.

so its cool to hear that crowley is in love with aziraphale for real explicitly in the show now.

but also its just so funny i like the process of adaptation but still im not usually in a place where im saying ‘thank god some of the things i most liked about the original ended up not being the case’ like dont get me wrong the idea of like a movie or something thats just the book but aziraphale and crowley are just slightly more undeniably in a relationship would be really really appealing to me. but i also can respect the choice to change their dynamic to explore what those sorts of conflicts would be like in order to have a more longform story. it was both a little weird bc i am of course watching in a way to nostalgically remind me of it but also its conceptually kinda cool to decide in an adaptation like 'ok people already know this story but how can it be reworked in a way that explores different themes i want to explore now and let people enjoy the freshness of that combined with the familiar'. but the first season on its own was in a weird in between place where i think a lot of people who only watched the show or watched the show first couldnt really feel out the distinctions and it was annoying to hear them conflating bc they both appeal in different ways to me and i dont want it to be flattened. so hearing the second season is just like totally off the rails from any resemblance to the book is honestly a really good thing to hear and i hope itll make that distinction clearer to people. but ig the question remains as to if the way in which it goes is actually good if judged on its own merits lol.. but regardless im gonna watch it soon

#cpost #go blogging

[wooahaes]

Hey! I just saw your rant about first kisses and wanted to put in my 2 cents . . . I'm 24 and I haven't had my first kiss yet either lol. People make a big deal out of it, but at the end of the day, your first kiss should only be yours! If you want to make it special, make it special. If you don't care and just want to get it over with, that's fine too.

I fall into the former category and frankly have not met anyone I would like to give that away too, let alone let them touch me lol.

As long as you like your reasons for not having done it yet, that's all that matters! F*ck everyone else for judging you for not having done it yet.

Take care of yourself, fam 🙌 Your experience matters too and don't live up to anyone else's expectations of you 🥰

🥺 ty for this!! ik the thing i read only affected me so much bc i woke up in a weird mood so that sorta threw off my day but like… it’s genuinely SO weird to me when ppl try to set age limits on things like that

like lol i grew up being the person no one liked but my reasoning later became part “i’m waiting for someone i trust” part “i dont want anyone to touch me bc trauma” so idk i think im just waiting until i meet someone whos willing to wait for me, no pressure or anything.

its always weird when ppl try to reason shit out tho!!! like some ppl just arent interested in that certain thing either yet or at all?? its the same w some ppl about sex tbh ppl act like its weird to go through college and still be a virgin by the end of it like…. some ppl have work and classes prioritized? some ppl just dont want to do things yet. stop judging them for not having a first kiss/time/relationship when it’s literally no ones business??? >:/ some ppl i s2g…

you take care too!! ty again for this ask 💙 all i can rly do is try to combat those weird expectations when i can through writing and maybe make someone else feel comfy in having a similar situation

#wooahaes.ask #twogyuu #ill delete the earlier post in a bit tbh #holly 💙

[imnotreal-png]

>:( -- Entri 4

im not a writer. like im not creative or mysterious with it. it's kinda aids bc then i feel like a try hard when i write my lyrics.

I doubt anyone who listens to my music even pays attention to my lyrics, judging from their other music choices,,,,,but its not for them

i can barely upload a song if im not happy with the lyrics. if i think they sound dumb even in the slightest way, it doesnt matter how long ive worked on the mix and master, its get vaulted forever. i just cant do it

even tho i wud like to be alot better with my creative writing, im glad i can still be content with all the songs i have uploaded. i am happy with them. i can only grow from it anyways, so why complain.

with time

some of my songs are stories ive made up. some are stories that represent actual experiences or points in my life but in a story telling way (???) idk i dont wanna write too much about me and my misery bc i dont want people to be under the impression that im miserable cuz i dont like people knowing those things >:( so i try to write abt shit in a very monotone way or in the pov of the narrator. but i also wrote a song in the pov of an incel so they'll nvr know whats real >:)

its a rainy day 2day.

i failed my ethnic studies exam. i knew i didnt do good but i rlly didnt think i did THAT bad. i was confused bc like 6 of the questions were abt systemic,industrial, and structural racism, which i thought were relatively the same thing..? apparently NOT. I couldnt even understand what the rest of the questions were asking me. my professor knows im not dumb, im like the biggest yapper in that class. i b knowing shit but wtf were those dumbass questions? what the flip, man?

i b eating boiled eggs like a snack lol. so yum. i wonder if they have protein...gnna google

ok they do. cool cuz i def dont eat enuf meat lol so this makes up for the loss of protein. i eat like 3 eggs a day and its only getting higher

devouring these chocolates that my frend bought me from London. european chocolate is always soo much better.

bruh its almost 5pm and my sister still asleep. cringe.

ttyl ~

#dear diary #journal #digital diary

[miupow]

thanks ! i am unfortunately an insane honor roll student so im like constantly on the grind tm - but i enjoy it! also. warning for the rest of the ask bc it is just a huge "here is my opinion, whats yours?" so if its like uninteresting lmk 😔 I am unfortunately studying craftsmanship and business/finance ethics in college so its like my thing tm

anyhow - i get what you mean about the whole seeing your peers' work not perform as well and being disheartened. i and many other nsfw oriented writers have been there before and im sure people will be there after : its not a bad thing to want recognition and it was one of the main reasons why i took a step away from writing.

but the main thing that brought me back was that writing itself so very fun, and in order to participate in "fun" i had to reevaluate what it means to "succeed" in a craft - esp on tumblr dot com hell site supreme - and re-reconcile that with my own wants and needs as someone who participates in the craft of writing. how much do i care vs how much should i care about numbers in comparison to others, and does it mean more when friends or strangers like my work, and so on and so forth. im not saying you should do this too or that i have a particular answer to that balance, more so just some misc. thoughts from one writer to another.

anyways sorry for the wild tangent - hope it doesnt sound like a lecture 😳 i know its "just" fanfiction but fanfiction is also tied closely to community, and to participate in community is a skill in and of itself ! all of this is just to say that, like fairy anon said, i think you should have fun. put your enjoyment and emotional enrichment in your craft first and foremost and be proud of the things you did and also be proud of the things that succeeded at the same time, and all that. its ok to get silly with it and still be scared, and its valid to let those fears keep you from getting too silly all the time - but i would still rather you get silly than not at all, if that makes sense

- 🐶 to the moon

omg honor roll student... i haven't been that academic since i was a freshman in high school TT

i get what you mean! part of my issue is that i have a genuine passion for writing, to the point where i want to be like. an actual author someday. so i spend days and weeks writing and editing and putting everything i've got into a work just to watch something i spent maybe ten minutes on get more notes and i'm like 👹👹👹

i might sound whiny and annoying about it and i really do enjoy writing just for fun and not for notes!! but. yknow. sometimes i don't feel like i get much back at all and i'm just like a monkey sitting at a typewriter

maybe i take this shit too seriously idk.. i've been having a lot of doubts about my writing and a lot of performance anxiety recently. like i have a lot of anxiety about people judging me for the things i write...? it might just be all in my head but i've always been like that i have really bad social anxiety lol one reason i don't have ANY socmed outside of tumblr

i'll try to be less serious and have more fun, but i get caught up in my own head sometimes.

#lia.talks #lia.loveletters 💌 #📥: 🐶 anon!

[lizzibennet]

me: the normalization of drug/alcohol usage among young teenagers is alarming. i know it's not impossible for people to have fun safely and responsibly, but the fact stands that it's a dangerous, delicate matter. as someone who's had to go to therapy for substance abuse, i don't know if i necessarily feel comfortable with the normalization of headcanons where young characters drink and/or use drugs. i know young people do these things, and i'm not saying it's inherently wrong or bad to have these headcanons, it's just something that makes me uncomfortable when it's too normalized in real life too, so when it trickles down into fandom matters it's bothersome as well.

also me: percy and annabeth smoke weed bc i'm projecting and would love to smoke weed w/ them

#drug ment / #alcohol ment / #this was in my drafts for a while and i felt like posting it cause i saw some of these again #this isn't coming for anyone btw i just saw posts in my dash from more than one person but i honestly don't remember who it was #as i said this is something that bothers me in real life. it's not anyone in here's fault so please don't feel as though im attacking u #me and bia and some anons were talking about percy drinking bad alcohol and dancing to funk recently so. it's not like i haven't done it!! #i never want to talk about this bc i don't want to sound like. hmm not sure how to say it in english #but as a boring old lady who thinks all drinking and drug usage is Reprehensible and Bad and Disgusting #im not judging people who do those things bc its me. im people lol #just. as someone who got into college at 17 and moved to a college town i see now how normalized it was to get absolutely fuckin shit faced #and people my age (im 20) talk SO much about drugs and alcohol abuse on twitter and like. i see it i still frequent the same social circle #even tho im not in college anymore so like i see the amount of honestlu unhealthy behavior that goes on in these circles #and no one says anything bc its cool and hip #and like i said i went to therapy for alcohol abuse and honest to god my view on all of it changed so much #that said again i dont think it's BAD that people do these things #i just don't think it's inherently cool and okay and everybody should accept it #it took someone sitting me down and being like look love you have a problem for me to see that yes i did have a problem #and the problem wasn't the drinking itself; it was the abuse of it #so much so i still drink... just now it's responsibly and i see this normalization of being high or drunk for days and it's just #it's odd it's what im saying #it's not bad it's just. weird #so im here to be the person u may find annoying or boring but just. maybe question the status quo on Recreation where u live #that was a tag rant i had things to say ok goodbye

[olivesjaw]

.

#im trying to tell my sibling that i want to go back to a psychiatrist bc i think i have bpd #and theyre not understanding that this is really frightening and bleak to me #and that id like some encouragement lmao #i cant even find any accessible psychiatrists in my area who specialize in bpd #and i feel like if i get a diagnosis everyones going to assume all of this bullshit about me bc its such a stigmatized illness #i just feel like such a bad person and i feel like a bpd diagnosis would just make everybody hate & judge me more #and i think about reaching out to people i wasnt good to in the past and i just imagine them telling me im crazy and that they still hate me #even tho theyre still a large part of my life in the form of thoughts and memories #its like i hope people will forgive me for sabotaging our relationships etc if i can let them know that ive an illness that made me do #those things without really realizing how wrong they were bc bpd #and i just would like to have different meds and perhaps an ounce of hope for myself #this fucking sucks so bad and im sure none of this makes sense #anyways im a bad person and i wish i didnt exist lol!

[grendelsmilf]

have you seen Turning Red? id love to hear your opinions on it if so, especially because it is purely about Teenage Girls

if you do watch turning red im curious on your opinion as to whether the girls in it are gay bc on the one hand they're very boy-obsessed but on the other hand they do have the type of very intense middle school girl friendship that i associate with baby dykes lol

i watched it last night with my brother, and it was so cute!!! i love how much thought and care and sincerity and authenticity was clearly put into this movie. normally i find pixar movies cloying and shallow, but i really appreciated the story being told here, with so much love and specificity. the person who told me to watch this movie bc sandra oh voices a repressed milf was 100% right ming was by far my favorite character lmao

and okay im not gonna lie, the immigrant identity / generational trauma aspect of it actually compelled me way more than the teenage girl aspect of it (although both aspects were really well handled and obviously intersected heavily in terms of mei's character arc).

i know a lot of people felt seen by its portrayal of middle school girlhood, and while i'm not denying that i knew plenty of girls who were very much like that, i.... wasn't. i'd say priya was probably the most relatable, but even then the fact that she read stuff like twilight instead of shakespeare made her fundamentally unrelatable to me, because i spent most of my teenage girl years feeling alienated and condescended towards by the constant marketing of boybands and romcoms and other heterosexual love fantasies that i was constantly being told i, as a young teenage girl, was "supposed" to enjoy. and this isn't to say that there's anything wrong with teenage girls who like those things, or who act in "cringey" ways (i mean you know i fully support them and their messy feelings and cringe interests), but i didn't like "boys, or loud music, or gyrating" (sidenote: i think it's really funny that mei is like "i like BOYS!" like being a heterosexual girl is some brave act of defiance. i know that embracing her sexuality in front of her repressed mother is really important, but that still made me laugh a little. it's not like she was like "guess what???!!! i'm into autoerotic asphyxiation, MOM!!!!"). i probably would've gone absolutely wild at the chance to hug a giant red panda though. i loved red pandas as a kid they were one of my favorite animals. and that fur was animated so impressively.... it looked so soft and fluffy......

anyway, i don't know whether or not (all) the girls are gay. i mean, priya and that goth girl definitely seemed like they had something going on, and the way ming talks about miriam feels very pointed (especially bc you know a chinese mother would only disapprove of a jewish kid if said kid was gay lmfao), but abby and mei could go either way idk. i wouldn't be surprised if they all grew up to be bi tbh they have those vibes. but again, other than that one moment with priya and the subtext w miriam, i rly think it could go either way. again, i'm a bad judge, because as a kid i felt a vitriolic resentment towards boybands and the popular girls in my class who listened to them and made me feel like a freak when i expressed the (totally reasonable!) opinion that "these dudes are all ugly as fuck." so i can say with certainty that at the very least, those girls are not baby lesbians.

one last thing. i don't think you meant any harm by this, anon, but to claim that this movie is "purely about teenage girls" is just wrong. so much of this movie is about generations of women, chinese heritage, familial ties and generational trauma, what it means to be an immigrant, (internalized) xenophobia, cultural expectations and the model minority myth.... there's so much more there than simply teenage girl friendships and navigating puberty (not that those are bad themes to explore either, mind you!). mei's friends are deeply important to her, and their friendship was really sweet, but to me, they were still the least interesting part of the movie. that said that 4town song was genuinely catchy wtf

#ask #anon #the only depiction of a modern teenage girl i have ever truly identified with is daria morgendorffer........ food for thought i guess

[twopoppies]

Firstly No pressure to read any of the below it’s just a lil rant after I ended up on the wrong side of tumblr!! ( + I have ADHD and i forgot my meds lol so its a bit disoriented and all over the place) and no response necessary unless you want to!

Oh god I accidentally ended up on the wrong side of tumblr....never ever ever ever again, I went back so fastttt lol im laughing at myself rn for how quickly i clicked away from disgust

i ended up on a blog that stalks u and some other larries and says absolutely atrocious things abt louis (I can send u their @ if u'd like so u can block them) and fully bought the stunt bs happening rn and it was horrible obvs but like i just do not understand like it was so creepy gina and im just so disgusted bc why? yk?

like u were not joking abt anti's actually being obsessed with larries - like half this person's blog was talking abt you and amy and i was just so shocked cause why??? like mate come on what the actual f? get a life please?? (im quite new so im like just now realising how insanely weird and obsessed these anti's are)

Also it was just an overall eye opener for multiple things:

Starting with that 1. the way 1DHQ and 1D Management managed to alienate larries actually worked and i like knew but truly doing a proper deep dive and seeing multiple blogs hate on larries and like obsessively stalk us was insane?? Like they truly believe everything they’re being fed???

Side Note: Lowkey feeling very lucky to have had the education i have because even before i even joined this fandom i believed partially none of the relationships in the news bc like i knew abt this industry and how it worked yk? i mean its logic? i have so many mates that arent even in the fandom that know i am in the fandom and texted me when the articles started rolling out calling it out for what it was: A PR stunt

Hell someone i know whom i had never even talked abt fandom stuff/stunt stuff fully texted me making a joke out of it!!! like people who aren’t even in our fandom can see it and its just insanely surprising that if they can why cant the antis?? im just a bit shocked rn

both from 1. finding someone who actually believes in this stunt and 2. multiple blogs that fully commit their time to stalking u and other larries and once again i knew but fully seeing it

YK AT FIRST I WAS LIKE IS THIS A JOKE I DIDNT BELIEVE IT GINA I THOUGHT SOMEONE WAS PULLING MY LEG OR THIS PERSON WAS IDK BEING SARCASTIC AND HAD A MESSED UP SENSE OF HUMOUR but ye anyway

It made me realise that 1DHQ knew what the fuck they were doing when they were trying to alienate larries from the rest of the fandom, once again i am feeling extraordinarily grateful to have grown up with an education where i was literally taught to never trust anything and to always think things thru using logic - “does it makes sense to you? if not find out why, there usually a reason behind everything” my yr 9 english teacher used to say smth like that all the time and it just never left me bc she was always teaching us to judge everything and to take every piece of news we read entertainment or otherwise with a grain of salt and to always if we’re gonna give someone else our opinion or spread this information do our research (its what i am when i say i feel lucky to have had the education i have had)

Eye Opener 2: Anti’s are fully standing y’all u were 100% correct this is some next level stan behaviour if i’ve ever seen some, you’re famous gina!!

It is while surprisingly to realise that anti’s fully believe these things, more surprising to see how they treat larries bc why on earth would u treat any other human being this way??? like dont get me wrong they’re horrible ppl and i fully felt like sending them a message telling them exactly that but i would never bc i just dont want to make another person feel bad abt themselves even if they are that shitty of a person and it was very tempting

I just would like to understand why they feel the need to do this? like why hate on a whole other person? for what believing smth diff to u? having a difference of opinion? how tf are they gonna make it when they get a job??? like??? do u know how often i run into a person with a different opinion then me? it shouldn’t be that big of a deal! we should still be able to be friends with antis! but we’re not - not for lack of trying btw!! they’re just so mean and rude??? when i was in other fandoms when someone believed different things there was never this much hatred at someone for it!! hell there was barely any bc it was understood that it was normal to have diff opinions abt things and i just am truly fascinated by these ppl i swear they remind how stupid the human race can sometimes be not for what they believe (altho ngl a lil of that too) but for how they treat other ACTUAL human beings with different opinions to them

Eye Opener 2.5: Some people need lives, man like they proper do need lives and something to do maybe a hobby or smth? just like a life they need to get one of those and actual live it

and Eye Opener 3: I already felt this way but like even god damn stronger now you deserve a formal apology from both 1DHQ and the universe

and until we get that u deserve amazing things coming from the boys on your bdays to make up for it

Lastly Gina I hope you didn't read thru all that bc I couldn’t even read it over and thus sorry for any grammar/spelling mistakes and I would also like to say that I love your blog and everything about you! you’re an absolute angel and one of the kindest ppl I have ever had the pleasure of well not meeting but stumbling across, you truly make this fandom a much much much better place with your presence (I shudder to think of it without u) that said if you ever need to take breaks or leave Im sure you already know but you should 100%

You first!!! Always! :)

Have a good day Gina, I hope its an absolutely amazing one!

Hi darling. LOL! Reading this was like talking with my kids when they don't take their ADHD meds. Lots of excited thoughts!! I loved it.

And yeah, that blog and their 4 followers are really... not well. But you're very right. 1DHQ made this fandom a breeding ground for people to hate larries and to think it's something Harry and Louis would both approve of. It's gross.

The gaslighting here is powerful, so thank goodness for fans like you who know to question what they're told and to look at things with logic and to do their best to see through their own biases.

Thank you for all the sweet words and your offer to kick butt (in your other message). I really appreciate it!

#long post

[iron-sides]

dsmp pantheon but for pjo au lets go

there is no like. ~king of the gods~ or wtv thats laaaame they are all just simply vibing

phil is like a wind god. he also is a bird king. listen hes a very powerful bird man he communes with the birds and has minor wind abilities. he has a secondary role as a god of death

-> phil doesnt really interact w mortals outside of like. because hes hanging out w techno lijkr4ed. also since techno's retired to to the camp he probably spends every other week w his wife

technoblade is a war god/the blood god this is a given. he runs the camp bc he's always been a protector of new soldiers and genuinely likes training young people. phil is there bc he follows techno around to carry the souls of those he kills to the afterlife. phil and techno are like. besties your honor, platonic life partners, whatever. him running the camp is retirement methinks

-> technoblade chooses mortal heroes that he blesses with the ability to hear the voices in battle and call upon the blood gods strength

phil's wife is the goddess of death. is she kristin, is the the samsung smart fridge, idk but shes married to phil. he comes to see her and brings her the souls of the dead as like a romantic gift, we know the deal

-> lady death has a soft spot for dead babies but shes not like. their mom? she doesnt really have kids or mortals that are "hers", shes not super interested in them. i think shes actually p cold and reserved, except to phil

drista is a trickster god, comes to earth and causes chaos until she is once again banished to the heavens- dionysus in pjo got grounded to camp half blood, drista gets grounded FROM camp half blood or whatever i end up calling the camp

-> drista picks out a mortal she likes and smacks them over the head in their early-ish childhood (before the age of ten) with her mark, thus labeling them as Hers. they may as well be a demigod at that point tbh shes technically their patron not their mom but the only difference is the dynamic lol

dristas older brother is dreamXD. i dont know anything about canon!dreamXD but im gonna make him a god of reality? bc as i understand it he comes to c!gnf in dreams or smth idk. hes probably the most powerful but idt he cares to be king of the gods- unless someone was claiming to be more powerful than him which theyre not dumb enough to do.

-> if gnf is a god, dxd never has mortal children, only blesses young adults and teens. if gnf isnt a god, dxd sometimes does blessings n sometimes has mortal children. his blessings work like how dristas do

foolish used to be a god of death before phil was, but when phil married the samsung smart fridge, he stepped down to become the god of life instead. he doesnt reign over births in any way, i think the ender dragon does that, but he like. u know. hes the totem of undying guy, ppl come to him when theyre trying to avoid death. or like, if theyre afraid someones gonna die- hes ya man

-> foolish fashions children out of clay ^^

herobrine is a god of destruction. you give up offerings to him to avoid, like, earthquakes n shit

-> herobrine curses ppl and then their kids are all herobrine descendants, inexplicably. i think there is almost definitely some kind of stigma? or smth? major downside. of being a herobrine kid bc of this.

gnf miiiight be a god of dreams or miight be the son of dreamXD i dont watch him so idk how/how much i wanna play into his and dreamXD's canon dynamic. ill have to watch some vods n talk to my datemates little sister and come back to it later

-> gnf does blessings if hes a god. his mortals have prophetic dreams :]

schlatt is a god of divine justice or punishment, he judges the dead and works w mumza to decide who gets what afterlife. i will not elaborate on why find the clip of wilbur reacting to the matpat video lij5rkefd

-> schlatt Has Kids

FUCK official minecraft lore the ender dragon is the benevolent ruler of the end in-game and here shes the god of like, birth/rebirth/life. bc her whole thing is that shes got this egg and shes protecting it.

-> the ender dragon fucks (love her so much)

lady prime is one of my favorites shes a god a wealth and of business endeavors of all kinds- genuine, scams, pyramid whatevers, if the aim is to get cash money in your pocket u should pray to her shell help u out if she likes u. very much a picker of favorites

-> lady prime Has Kids

the egg is here. its like a bad guy or smth doesnt have kids or anything but does possess ppl

@thenerdistrying pspspspsps give me ur takes

#pjo dsmp au #my thots #philza #technoblade #mumza goddess of death #drista #dreamxd #foolish #herobrine #gnf #schlatt #i wont tag my beloved bc this isnt abt the game mc so #church prime #the egg #tell me the name of god au

[pumpkinsy0]

you belong with me au with purly????? sending u kisses for this one <33

yes yes thank u anon for the kisses👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

now this isnt EXACTLY like the song, but ig its somethin similar sooo-

•alright uhhh I HAVENT SEEN THIS ONE B DONE SO HEAR ME OUT

•AT FIRST I W A S GONNA DO CURLY GETING A BF OR GF (we dont judge here) AND PONY BEING JEALOUS BUT THEN I HAD THE MARVELOUS IDEA OF CURLY THINKING PONY AND JOHNNY WERE TOGETHER SO STRAP IN MFS

•ok let me explain this one, curly thinks pony and johnny are together (they arent lol they are just rlly close friends)

•poor boy doesnt think he ever has a chance bc he thinks pony is into well people who are kinda like him????

•like people who think like him (like they like sunsets, drawing, books, those sorts of things)

•so hes just ENVIOUS of johnny straight up wishing he was in his place

•he would watch them laughing and play n just do shit together and just wish it was him basically

•subconsciously he would compare himself to johnny

•yall its not that hes insecure or anything, hes not, its just he wishes pony would pay attention to him like he did w johnny (dont worry my boy your time is comin💪🏽💪🏽)

•if it makes you feel any better at some point they DO get together bc pony admitted his feelings for curly to johnny and johnny would egg him on to talk to him more n what not, so in this au pony asked curly if he wanted to go out first 😁👍🏽

im so sorry it 1:02 am rn and i never re read my shit i hope this made sense

#ponyboy curtis #curly shepard #purly #johnny cade