#im not okay right now

[itsana004]

#IM NOT OKAY RIGHT NOW #GUYS LOOK #JUST LOOK #aruani #aot #attack on titan #snk #shingeki no kyogin #armin artlert #annie leonhart #armin x annie #THE BOAT SCENE #TOMOATO BLONDIES #AFAHSHSGSJ

[birb--birb]

"You've clearly never been in a place where you have nothing but shame and fear " I need to go lie down

#bg3 #bg3 spoilers #astarion #baulders gate 3 #im not okay right now #bg3 astarion #astarion ancunin #neil really put his whole ass chest into that scream and im emotional about it #dear traumatized boy is trying so hard to convince himself but you can *hear* the absolute terror in his words #act 3 just comes for your throat right out of the gate huh

[buzzfella]

this song is so bdubs coded about etho. like every single line. some that stick out me to are:

"now here i lay as i wonder about you, would you just tell me what im meant to do? cause ive waited and watered my heart til it grew, you can see how its blossomed for you."

"maybe when you tell your friends you can tell them what you saw in me and not the way i am"

bdubs keeps going back to etho without fail, and even without the reciprocation from him, he keeps going. (id fail for you, say it back) (i wouldn't go that far)

and yet, etho sings bdubs' praises, an empty saccharine song. so maybe this version of bdubs etho creates can be what the roomies see, not the jealousy thats consumed him, violent to hunt down cleo for replacing him.

"cause there's nobody better than you"

#bdubs #bdoubleo100 #ethoslab #etho #secret life smp #trafficblr #slsmp #im not okay right now #like actually they hurt me viscerally #etho is such an interesting guy to watch with his relationships #and how they can go so well yet so wrong #poor bdubs though #his very bad no good session #Spotify

[unkreativstermensch]

steve harrington is just so pretty

#steve harrington #stranger things #st #steddie #im not okay right now #hes so pretty #steve #joe keery

[literary-ink]

Me after realizing I was just in love with the IDEA of him (he is a comic).

😭😭😭🤡

#laughing through the tears #fence comic #nicholas cox #seiji katayama #fence fandom #nichoji #nobody talk to me #im not okay right now #im actually having a cathartic moment #is this what a heartbreak feels like?

[rusty-gloinks]

FYULUFKYFXTUKCTGHJFKUYFFKYUFUYLIGLUILH. FGKYUGFUYLKFUY IM FUCKING CRYING. THEYRE SO HAPPY IM LITERALLY TEARING UP ANDND GOOING FERAL HELP MEEEEEE

#I THTIFUTH IT WAS A TEA PARTYY #THEYRE CLEANIHG I THINLTHST #THSTS SO FUCKING CUTE #OH MY GOF MY HEART #THEYRE GONNA BE BESTIES #OHHHH MY FUCKING GOD #PROBABLY #WRENBLES #IM NOT OKAY RIGHT NOW

[awalkingshitpost]

Trauma is so hard it's not fair that I'm the one with lifelong mental issues and he doesn't even think he did anything wrong it's not fair it's not fair ITS NOT FUCKING FAIR

#im not okay right now #my core being is fucking fragmented into like 6 separate parts because of him #and he doesnt even think what he did to me #was wrong he thinks he was in the RIGHT #FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOU #i didn't deserve this shit it's not fucking fair

[justanamesstuff]

I just remembered Phoebe Bridgers was in my dreams and it was kinda hott 🤭

#im not okay right now #everyone shows up except the ratty

[seung-scrittore]

somebody tell me that everything i'm seeing about the sardonic, cynical content creator i grew up watching being dead on my twitter feed isn't true

#im unironically sobbing #im not okay right now #three of my childhood friends called me and told me about it #that man raised me. he gave me my quick humour :/ #he gave me my nagging cynicism. im genuinely so upset #i really fucking hate that so much is changing so fast recently #✨.|| misc.🌤 #tw: death #is it bad that i didnt even want to find out his real name ? and now that it's public it just feels bitter. #im so fucking upset right now #this sounds so stupid. i realize im crying over someone i never knew :/ but it kind of feels like a piece of my childhood happiness is gone

[favoure]

"do the opposite of what people tell you to do"

#desert duo #grian #goodtimeswithscar #secret life #mcyt #trafficblr #favourarts #ok to tag as ship #so i posted this to twitter first right #and the amount of people i have in my replies saying that they'll kill themselves is honestly Very funny #anyways im back :)) #i missed drawing these two GOD #okay life update in the tags for this piece is: something about finals season just makes you want to draw more #<- has been saying this for 4 days straight now #YAAAAAAYYYY i got another desert duo sketch cooking fellas and this one is a Bit more self indulgent if yk what i mean hehe #<- SEE U IN THE SIDEBLOG

[femboty2k]

Oh boy here we go death spiral

#nothing can every work out #no ounce of hope comes without a metric fuck ton of just more fucking problems #I dont know what to do #im not gonna make it out of here am I? #im going to die in this fucking wasteland state #just like I wants me to #im not going to get to leave #see anything else ever again #im just gonna keep slamming my head into the wall until the money runs out and then end up in a ditch somewhere #I can't fucking do it man #everything's gonna crash now #it was going well for two days and now its all gonna pile up on top of me #such is life I fucking guess #I fucking tried #im not okay right now #delete later

[crunchchute]

My Sam & Max cosplay I debuted at a local con during the weekend!

#wasnt wearing leg padding in these so sorry sams a bit skinny #sam and max #cosplay #crunchchute art #my art #i could remake the pants and jacket entirely but that would be quite hard actually. i suck at making jackets especially #so those are just thrifted and edited #lots of color differences that bug me but. oh well #pants and jacket arent that different but its noticeable in these pics #as well as maxs hands and feet. theyre slightly lighter as the fabric i used is better quality #but i ran out of the stuff i used on his body etc and i couldnt buy more from that store as they took their sweet time shipping the stuff #oh well. didnt make them for a competition so its okay #im my own biggest hater and my own biggest critic #at the end of the day i made a handful of people really happy and thats all that matters to me #gotta share them every chance i get as i usually just make a cos #wear it to the con and then put it on the shelf #but im too happy with these to just hide them away after #they need a good scrub and after that id like to bring them to another con. next main goal is viecc but thats just a maybe right now

[deadlybean2019]

Would people be kind enough to send me as many sun and moon arts as possible?

I'm having a real tuff day, and need the serotonin in my eyeballs.

#please give #i need the jesters #they make me happy #im not okay right now

[gothgoblyn]

.

#im not okay right now

[inkskinned]

one of the things that i think we should pay attention to, socially, about the disney v. desantis thing is that it is really highlighting the importance of remembering nuance.

in a purely neutral sense, if you engage in something problematic, that does not mean you are necessarily agreeing with what makes it problematic. and i am worried that we have become... so afraid of any form of nuance.

disney isn't my friend, they're a corporate monopoly that bastardized copyright laws for their own benefit, ruin the environment, and abuse their workers (... and many other things). this isn't a hypothetical for me - i grew up in florida. i also worked for the actual Walt Disney World; like, in the parks. i am keenly aware of the ways they hurt people, because they hurt me. i fully believe that part of the reason florida is so conservative is because it's been an "open secret" for years now that disney lobbies the government to keep minimum wage down, and i know they worked hard to keep the parks unmasked and open during the worst parts of Covid. they purposefully keep their employees in poverty. they are in part responsible for the way the floridian government works.

desantis is still, by a margin that is frankly daunting, way worse. the alternative here isn't just "republicans win", it's actual fascism.

in a case like this, where the alternative is to allow actual fascism into united states legislation - where, if desantis wins, there are huge and legal ramifications - it's tempting to minimize the harm disney is also doing, because... well, it's not fascism. but disney isn't the good guy, either, which means republicans are having a field day asking activists oh, so you think their treatment of their employees is okay?

we have been trained there is a right answer. you're right! you're in the good group, and you're winning at having an opinion.

except i have the Internet Prophecy that in 2-3 months, even left-wing people will be ripping apart activists for having "taken disney's side". aren't i an anti-capitalist? aren't i pro-union? aren't i one of the good ones? removed from context and nuance (that in this particular situation i am forced to side with disney, until an other option reveals itself), my act of being like "i hope they have goofy rip his throat out onstage, shaking his lifeless body like a dog toy" - how quickly does that seem like i actually do support disney?

and what about you! at home, reading this. are you experiencing the Thought Crime of... actually liking some of the things disney has made? your memories of days at the parks, or of good movies, or of your favorite show growing up. maybe you are also evil, if you ever enjoyed anything, ever, at all.

to some degree, the binary idealization/vilification of individual motive and meaning already exists in the desantis case. i have seen people saying not to go to the disney pride events because they're cash grabs (they are). i've seen people saying you have to go because they're a way to protest. there isn't a lot of internet understanding of nuance. instead it's just "good show of support" or "evil bootlicking."

this binary understanding is how you can become radicalized. when we fear nuance and disorder, we're allowing ourselves the safety of assuming that the world must exist in binary - good or bad, problematic or "not" problematic. and unfortunately, bigots want you to see the world in this binary ideal. they want you to get mad at me because "disney is taking a risk for our community but you won't sing their praises" and they want me to get mad at you for not respecting the legit personal trauma that disney forced me through.

in a grander scheme outside of disney: what happens is a horrific splintering within activist groups. we bicker with each other about minimal-harm minimal-impact ideologies, like which depiction of bisexuality is the most-true. we gratuitously analyze the personal lives of activists for any sign they might be "problematic". we get spooked because someone was in a dog collar at pride. we wring our hands about setting an empty shopping mall on fire. we tell each other what words we may identify ourselves by. we get fuckin steven universe disk horse when in reality it is a waste of our collective time.

the bigots want you to spend all your time focusing on how pristine and pretty you and your interests are. they want us at each other's throats instead of hand in hand. they want to say see? nothing is ever fucking good enough for these people.

and they want their followers to think in binary as well - a binary that's much easier to follow. see, in our spaces, we attack each other over "proper" behavior. but in bigoted groups? they attack outwards. they have someone they hate, and it is us. they hate you, specifically, and you are why they have problems - not the other people in their group. and that's a part of how they fucking keep winning.

some of the things that are beloved to you have a backbone in something terrible. the music industry is a wasteland. the publishing industry is a bastion of white supremacy. video games run off of unpaid labor and abuse.

the point of activism was always to bring to light that abuse and try to stop it from happening, not to condemn those who engage in the content that comes from those industries. "there is no ethical consumption under late capitalism" also applies to media. your childhood (and maybe current!) love of the little mermaid isn't something you should now flinch from, worried you'll be a "disney adult". wanting the music industry to change for the better does not require that you reject all popular music until that change occurs. you can acknowledge the harm something might cause - and celebrate the love that it has brought into your life.

we must detach an acknowledgment of nuance from a sense of shame and disgust. we must. punishing individual people for their harmless passions is not doing good work. encouraging more thoughtful, empathetic consumption does not mean people should feel ashamed of their basic human capacities and desires. it should never have even been about the individual when the corporation is so obviously the actual evil. this sense that we must live in shame and dread of our personal nuances - it just makes people bitter and hopeless. do you have any idea how scared i am to post this? to just acknowledge the idea of nuance? that i might like something nuanced, and engage in it joyfully? and, at the same time, that i'm brutally aware of the harm that they're doing?

"so what do i do?" ... well, often there isn't a right answer. i mean in this case, i hope mickey chops off ron's head and then does a little giggle. but truth be told, often our opinions on nuanced subjects will differ. you might be able to engage in things that i can't because the nuance doesn't sit right with me. i might think taylor swift is a great performer and a lot of fun, and you might be like "raquel, the jet fuel emissions". we are both correct; neither of us have any actual sway in this. and i think it's important to remember that - the actual scope of individual responsibility. like, i also love going to the parks. Thunder Mountain is so fun. you (just a person) are not responsible for the harm that Disney (the billion dollar corporation) caused me. i don't know. i think it's possible to both enjoy your memories and interrogate the current state of their employment policies.

there is no right way to interrogate or engage with nuance - i just hope you embrace it readily.

#does this make sense #to do be deleted probably yikes #(takes a swing at a wasp's nest) #like i think ppl have started to just be really quiet when they like something 'problematic' #and im like... u can be like - #girl tswift NEEDS to just TAKE A BUS . LIKE????????????????????? #while also being like. #''she's a lot of fun'' #if ur personal policy is that u don't support her for that reason that's great #but it's like. eating meat??? #like yeah some people won't bc the environment. but the fact i eat meat doesn't mean i hate the earth #like i can say that i think the meat industry is HORRIFIC and also downright cruel to its employees #but like. still enjoy a chicken nugget.... #there are people who choose otherwise. it's okay . we are people. i make like no money. u probably don't either #us fighting about whether or not it's Right To Eat The Chicken Tender just distracts from like. #actually turning your ire on the corporation #i hope it's clear what i'm saying here is like. when we fight each other for Purity Reasons #we are just doing the work of corporations . for free. like they WANT us to be doing this lol #it's the fucking DREAM of the upperclass that now ALL forms of responsibility fall on the individual

[mechanicalinfection]

He gets a little quirky at night.

#art #digital art #fnaf #fnaf 3 #springtrap #he's so bbg guys #LIKES HDIWKBDKD #I TRIEDNMY BEST W NEW STYLE #I DONT THINK I PULLED IT OFF WELL BUT OH WELL #He gets a bit quirky ok leave him slone 💔 #hes a lil insane but like bbg #bbg material #trust #PLEASE HEAR ME OUT OKAY 💔 #HE'S JUST SO???? #pls 👉👈 #erhm #im going to die in a fire right now adiod #I'm bavk sgain i wsnt to take him home snd give him s bath #he needs a bath #like extremely #corpse bunny needs a bath #take the knife away from hjm #he'll committ several warcrimes