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#im not really good at that but hey its a learning experience
carnageacorn · 1 month
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#ya boi be fucking around and FINDING OUT.#do yall remember (no) that text post i made back in november saying i am so sexy and fast there will be no rammies from this#anyway high key still dealing with the rammies and next month doesnt look great either REGARDING : the rammies#anyone: oh hey a few times i saw u were dating someone but u dont really ever talk about it#yeah dude because of how good of an idea it was and how its going and the choices ive made and how good its been for my life#that whole thing started in january but it only happened because of my november stuff if ur following along#anyway im single and soon nobody will be living with me and i CANT get into it all its so messy and ive been so silly#getting thru this work day with grit and spite and protein shakes. someday ill be able to stomach food again haha#its just that what would be in my way if i didnt manually create several difficult roadblocks for myself in quick succession#i would have to learn to identify sources of road blocks that are not ME something i have prior to now not had a lot of experience with#(due to that 95% of the roadblocks are placed in advance by me)#anyway lakevida voice if i speak with fewer than 4 layers of metaphor a sniper will shoot me thru my hoop earring so this is all u get#unless u are my sister which none of u are#NOT sure which substances r hanging out in my system in what ratios at this moment due to the sort of choices ive been making in the last48#but my boss is ALSO doing about how i am and we're both like. we left the problems at the DOOR of the BUILDING.#now what we have are the SYMPTOMS of the PROBLEMS and we are going to treat them with MANIC COMPLAINING#its gotten us thru a full hour of work so far but if i make it to lunch without throwing up i think they might throw me a party#anyway expect 4 more of these in the next hour due to the previously referenced substances
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girlboypersonthingy · 1 month
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Would it be ok to request Vox with an affectionate s/o?
More than okay, nonnie! I’ve been getting so many requests bro, literally every time I post one, I get like 2 more in its place. IM LIVING FOR IT, KEEP IT COMING YALL! But also plz be patient with me 🥺 been waiting for a request for my flat-faced prince. Tbh the first time I watched Hazbin, my immediate reaction to Vox was ‘OH NO HES HOT!!!’ So, enjoy these headcanons 😘
Notes: gn!reader, maybe a little ooc Vox?
Vox x reader- Affection 💋
Also oh my fucking godddddd the vest, him in a vest. I need more Vox in a vest PRONTO…🥵
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Okay so like…bro is more dirty minded.
He’s genuinely confused when you kiss his cheek or hold his hand like ???
Oh….you’re not just trying to fuck him and get famous?
Cuteee~
Sure, he’s fucked and made out with ppl and probably done some other crazy shit but his experience with sappy romance and affection like you show him is very limited.
He’s pretty dense, he’s got a tough shell and doesn’t really understand love languages and stuff like that.
His love language is most definitely gift giving and I just know he’s terrible at actually showing his feeling through words or romantic gestures or physical affection.
It’s usually just like “Hey! I love ya! I got you this.” *insert item you’d flip your lid over*
At least he’s a good gift giver! He really does try to give you cool stuff he knows you’ll like but he’s still learning how to actually speak about his feelings and show it physically.
He tries to match your energy the best he can
Get him gifts!!! Plz he loves homemade gifts too- gift him art, sing him an original song, sew him something, whatever your skills or talents may be, use them and he’ll adore it and also praise tf out of you
You took time to make this just for him? ‘Marry me’
Besides fucking around with Val, Vox doesn’t get much affection so he very quickly falls in love with all the sweet affectionate touches you frequently show him.
It’s all so different than Val, so sensitive and genuine. It really makes him swoon~
Melts when you kiss the corners of his screen- there’s something about non mouth kisses that really gets to him
He gets a huge dorky love stuck grin when you sit in his lap and hug him close, also hugs you back super tight
Absolutely loves kissing you and then noticing the lingering smudges/lipstick marks on his screen later
Fix his bow tie while giving him a sneaky wink in front of his crew and he’ll huff and look away while trying to hold back a smile
Invites you on his nightly broadcast as a guest one time and quickly learned how embarrassed he becomes when you flirt and call him pet names on live TV in front of tons of viewers
After only 10 minutes of talking, giggling and giving him bedroom eyes, Vox was struggling to maintain his composure- you’re so fucking cute.
All you had to do was laugh loudly at one of his crude jokes about Alastor and call him your “honey bunny” and suddenly the entire V tower lost power.
Poor man literally short circuits over your darling voice calling him such soft names- he’s so down bad for you he can’t even hide it
Val and Velvette have that specific episode downloaded and saved to every device they own bc there’s no way they are letting this go, he’s never living this down
If you pause the video right before it cuts out, just before the power goes out, Vox has literal hearts for eyes and his entire screen briefly becomes this bright blushy pink color- that’s a color no one has ever seen on him
Just keep doing your thing, you little hopeless romantic, and you’ll see that color more often.
But Vox might have to leave you at home when filming bc he can’t control himself around you sometimes and you obviously can’t either 🖤
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pineappleciders · 1 year
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heyy first of all its me the fucked up dream anon (now going by dream anon how original) second of all ive decided im going to learn about south park purely through your work so can i get some tweek (ive latched onto that boy) and whoever else you want (probably the main boys) with a reader (all platonic ofc) who's got that #anxiety? thanks even if you dont do it <33
🌌🌟/dream anon
main 4 + tweek with a reader who has anxiety; platonic headcanons
A/N: haii :3 i apologize if this like, distorts your vision of the characters or something. i am so glad you are being converted to the religion of tweek!!!!!!
TRIGGER WARNING: anxiety disorders, light mental health topics, paranoia, panic/anxiety attacks, death mention on kennys part
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stan marsh
i think stan has a normal amount of anxiety. like he's so regular. he's your average joe
like he gets anxious over tests, and giving speeches, and over wendy. other than that he doesn't experience it to the extent of a disorder
so it might be a little difficult for him to imagine getting anxious over simple things like ordering food and stuff like that
he'll try his best to listen though, although he'll probably try to kinda reason with you, esp if you're feeling paranoid or something
"dude, i checked twice, it's locked. relax, man."
he'll try to distract you, by playing games and watching stuff, and just generally kinda trying to be funny to take your mind off of things
if you're having a panic/anxiety attack, he kinda panics too at first, before quickly pulling you away and asking what's wrong. he is sweating very hard
if you're unresponsive, he tries to stay calm but is honestly considering calling an ambulance. like he thinks you're having a stroke
"shit, a panic attack? uh, okay, errr.... take deep breaths, okay? in.. and out. in.. and out. okay, that's good.."
he looks up grounding techniques on his phone and relays them to you until you calm down and catch your breath. he like sends you images off of google of the 5 senses technique randomly and says he figured you'd need it someday
he tries to keep your anxiety in mind, and might slip up sometimes, but for the most part he tries to be careful with his words and actions as to not worry you. he shows his care in subtle ways!!
kyle broflovski
he tries to kinda. logic it out a bit. like if you're feeling insecure he tells you how unrealistic it is for someone to think about one random passerby's appearance forever
he does feel bad though. he doesn't completely understand, but whenever he's feeling insecure he tends to get really anxious about people at school
he usually gets anxious whenever he's doing something wrong or sneaking out. like he's actually sweating and shitting his pants thinking about what his mom will do to him if she finds out
he'll encourage you to order food for yourself, to get yourself out there more, and if you succeed he'll pat your shoulder and smile a lil
if you don't want to, he might dramatically sigh but he'll do it anyways. cuz he knows how hard it is
i do think he'd get a little anxious about asking workers for help and stuff, but he'll be the bigger person... he supposes... smh my head...
when you have an panic attack for the first time, he's like really confused and gets super concerned that you're having a heart attack, and pulls his phone out to dial your parents or 911
"i'm here for you dude! listen- hey, listen to me. it's okay. can- can you-"
he tries to talk to you to de-escalate it, but he gives up and has his hand on your back, while looking up what the fuck to do
'friend havign panjc atgack what to do'
if you're okay with it, he probably talks to your parents about it. he doesn't really trust himself to be able to always calm you down, so he encourages getting outside/professional help
he does try though, and he'll always be there for you in different ways!! like when you need help with something or just need company to distract you, he's at ur door with his xbox 360
eric cartman
you can tell that eric gets a little uncomfortable if you're freaking out or feeling anxious. whether it's because he actually feels bad or just doesn't know how to handle your emotions, you'll never know
but either way, he'll probably just like. sit next to you like "dude, what's up with you?" or in other cases he'll sneakily slip out of the room unseen
he does try to be kinda logical about it, but that's solely because he physically can't speak words of comfort.
"i mean, dude, be seriously. nobody cares about you that much to notice." you speak such kind words eric!!
he doesn't really like it when things get serious, so he'll generally try to transition the situation into something more casual. like he'll try to ease your (his) mood by getting snacks and playing games together, or even begging his mom to take you both to KFC
if you have a panic attack, all of his alarms are blaring and his brain is screaming flight!!!!! flight!!!! run the fuck away!!!!
and he probably tries to, but when you notice him and call his name he physically deflates
he awkwardly turns around and slowly strolls over. "Y/N... heeeeeeey... what's up... duuude..." you can hear the strain in his voice
if it gets to be too much, as in you won't stop hyperventilating or can't breathe, he'll probably alert an adult or take you to the nurse or something. he tells himself it's because he doesn't want to be a suspect of your death
if ur having trouble ordering food he'll gladly take ur place and make a scene to get all eyes on him. "erm excuthe me they athed for no pickleth🤓"
other than when you're voicing your anxiety, he probably treats you the same. i don't really think he'd take advantage of your anxiety unless you were like. butters or heidi or something and he was really trying to get you to do something for him or just trying to. stick himself in your mind. because he's a narcissist and he loves that!!
kenny mccormick
he doesn't relate necessarily, but he definitely understands.
he lives a lot of his life in fear of his next death, and is constantly praying it be quick and painless
kenny is more of a reserved fella, but not really shy or anxious. so if you're having trouble speaking up or ordering something he'll step up and do it gladly!!
i think he'd be pretty decent at comforting. like he'll pat his hand on your back and speak assuring, muffled words
"mm, mmph mmph mmmph! mmph mph mph mmmfmf mmf mph mph mmph!" (aww, it'll be okay. i'll walk you every step of the way, buddy!)
he tries to take your emotions into consideration more, and grabs your hand and squeezes it sometimes if you need a boost of confidence. sometimes he forgets your anxiety and says something rude and feels really bad about it
when you're having a panic attack, he's honestly really scared and expects you to start foaming at the mouth or something
he'll hesitate, but he'll pat your back and try to help you with grounding techniques. the 5-4-3-2-1 in particular is his favorite, and he'll tell you how to do it in like a rlly sweet and calming voice
he's still spooked though, and gets you a water bottle and like a washcloth. he's incredibly thankful you aren't dying or anything
kenny is very good at comforting! sometimes all it takes is a simple moment of eye contact and seeing his eyes crinkle that gives you a surge of calmness you didn't know you needed
tweek tweak
tweek is no outsider to anxiety and stress. he's literally a living beehive with all that damn vibrating
to anyone else, it would seem like tweek had a severe anxiety disorder, or even ADHD. but it turns out it's just a result of his crippling meth addiction and caffiene overdoses
he tries to think about what craigs taught him, about grounding techniques and how to handle a panic attack, and tries to apply those for you
he's shakily take your hand and wrap you in a blanket, making you hot cocoa and helping you slowly come back to your senses
"okay, okay, what are 5 things you can touch? or- no- AGH! was it 5 things you see- hear? no, ACK! i can't remember!"
most of the time if you're feeling on-edge about something, his main goal will be to just listen to you talk and validate your feelings. he doesn't really make it a point to give you advice or try to be logical, unless you directly ask for it
he's great at listening!!! he also doesn't trust his own advice enough to say it to someone else.
he really tries to think hard about what comforts him when he's anxious, and so he tries to use the tactics for you. for instance, he tries to help you get into a hobby like painting to have a bit more control over yourself
hc that tweek loves to draw with crayons so he'll make little drawings of you and him as stick figures being all happy and give them to you. as a treat
overall he is very attentive, and cares a lot. he tries his very best to be there for you, and a lot of the time that results in you two just hanging out or gaming together, so you can both get your mind off of things for a while. it makes him happy to be able to be there for someone else like craig was for him
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thatdeadaquarius · 1 year
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Omg
Hey
Hey!
HEY!!
WHAT ABOUT GOD READER THAT GOT A CURSE PLACED ON THEM BY SOMEONE THEY DON'T LIKE
That curse makes them turn to random ages like,, one day you wake up and your like 3 and the other you're 29 and the acolytes just have to deal with it for a months (and just for funziz you don't keep your memories as a kid *evil laugh*)
I feel like people who are generally around kids would be great around us and some others .... Less so (*cough cough* ei)
AND EVEN BETTER
WHAT IF ENGLISH ISN'T OUR FIRST LANGUAGE AND IT SUMTGING LIKE FRENCH OR SPANISH, AND THE ACOLYTES ARE ALL OVER THE PLACE TEYING TO TALK TO YOU WHILE 14 YEAR OLD READER IS CURLED UP IN A BALL CUS THEY'RE SCARED LSKFJGJDLSK
let the tennage/ kid reader be neurodivergent/autistic (cuz i am and theres bot enough rep on this god forsaken app .·´¯`(>▂<)´¯`·.)
n E wayss <3
LOVE YA !!!!
Aka. your fave >:D kiss kiss
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A KISS KISS??!!! FOR ME?!!! 😊🥰😚 <3
BRO i literally designed a whole original character around that concept lmao (except they remember/just body change/everything else kinda matches ur desc! :0 )
Sun: Gender Neutral Reader (they/them only), Neurodivergent!Reader, Child!Reader, Teen!Reader
Planet: Language Shenanigans, Platonic
Orbit: Headcanons-ish, mini scenarios
Stars: Arataki Itto, Kuki Shinobu, ft. Kujou Sara, Ei + Raiden Shogun, Inazumans
Comets & Meteors: No Content Warnings & No Triggers Detected.
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no bc gif is me as a kid, bc I didn't experience snow until I was 12 💀 +it stayed for like one day, was 1 inch deep, or like 5 cm (for my non-americans out there), and was gone the next lmao- I was terrified when I moved and got REAL snowy days- jfc Snezhnaya would kill little me-
SO I was kinda stuck on this tbh, i usually default to like, headcanons or scenarios if ppl dont specify/im just adding onto what you already said like when its not even really a request u know?
so, uh tried to do headcanons, but idk how good it is Orah, sorry!
Also ik you mentioned as example, but we sticking to Inazuma, bc i feel like I neglect them lol
also i hope u like Itto 💀
you quickly found out that magic obeys some weird type of logic despite being magic, so you only ever fluctuate in age within the range you’ve already been,
ur kinda glad youre not seeing what you look like at 100 years old and getting stuck that way for weeks- only Sophie from Howl’s Moving Castle can be cursed to be old yet has so much rizz that she’s still badass and pulls a wizard boyfriend LMAO
so just bc idk what to make the max,
let’s put you at originally, also bc im not a minor, 20 yrs old
so what I mean by all the above is: you’ve lived 2 decades, 1-20 are the only ages you can be
-that being said,
you’re a menace.
so yeah you could’ve been a quiet kid, a well-behaved kid, a good kid even,
…but not in a magical world full of awesome flora and fauna, and magical creatures,
and gods, and vision users and-
you get the point.
plus, you hadn’t really learned English yet until u were a bit older so (who can blame you i hate this language ur so valid)
and for whatever reason English is the only one these guys speak, besides maybe some mythical creatures like the aranara or something
so its kinda absolute chaos trying to reign u in at times.
so needless to say the entirety of Inazuma is terrified for you.
like, even if you aren’t the “Creator” per say in this, they still know what the warmth of your power feels like
But more importantly-
You know who’s the first to spot a random wandering-non-Inazuman-child? And take you in? Especially one that radiates that same energy of presence they feel sometimes + makes them more powerful???
The Amazing, the All-Powerful, Awe-Inspiring Oni: Arataki Itto!
Not even his gang, or Kuki are the first to see you, nah it’s Itto himself,
he literally finds 12 yr old you just sneaking around in awe in Chinju Forest,
and needless to say ur pretty fascinated with the colors and the vibes, and it’s not like Genshin Impact existed when u were this young, ur poor younger self is just rlly paranoidly looking around
Itto is kinda a lot at first, and he was a little confused by ur constant rubbing your arms, or tapping ur fingers on stuff, (or all the stims u be doing when ur nervous) but he just took it all in stride
so Itto, after like an hour and a few well placed rocks at his face and groin by 12 yr old u who was ready to fight to the death at first, FINALLY convinced you by drawing a little picture of his house and his friends
and all that clear effort, despite the foreign world, foreign non-human guy, etc., made you warm up to him too, afterall, even 12 yr old you knew a himbo when they saw one 💪
at first he just thought you were another person who was getting powered up by that yokai he felt (he was convinced thats what you were when u weren’t physically here before, like some kind of powerful gift giving/deal making yokai)
but after he saw you shapeshift the next morning into 16 yr old you, (he lives with his grandma so ur younger self felt pretty safe staying with a himbo guy and an little grandma lady)
he was now more convinced than ever-
that you were some kind of god that’s been in hiding since the archon war (his granny has a lot of cool stories so what?! hes a very educated oni thank you very much!),
rather than a vision user, and he also thinks u being random ages is deffo a curse, and its to keep ur powerfulness limited!! - Arataki Itto, 202X
(bc younger u doesnt remember that u can upgrade ppl, or at least it takes em a learning curve bc they gotta relearn everytime)
okay but itd be so funny tho if nobody else believes that (esp the non-magical folk), bc to them, ur just like, a bunch of siblings (child, teen, adult you lmao) or a tanuki lol
he eventually gets Kuki to believe, after she also sees how you change/the aura is honestly more powerful too once she’s paying attention, like instead of like a blanket, ur like standing in front of a raging campfire
but she makes him keep it a secret
ur really vulnerable a lot of the time, so they’re both worried abt keeping u happy and safe, aw cuties <3
so yeah, ur literally just chillin with the arataki gang all the time now
the gang become ur besties no matter the age, like they love mild pranks, and general chaos, u wanna explore no matter the age, and also love chaos, esp since it can be magical now (oh child you is having the time of their life when they’re around)
its literally a match made in heaven
plus the more hands on deck, the easier it is to keep ur ass from running off as a kid (and an adult, bc omg a shiny?? a shiny crystal fly???!! lmao neurodivergent 🤝crow/raven = shiny solidarity)
honestly Itto has a blast with all versions of you, and he’s literally the best bc he’s a himbo:
so he’s fine with answering context or “obvious” questions all the time LMAO
and if he makes any conclusions abt ppl’s behavior u dont, he’ll explain pretty quick and simple and he never sees it as awkward or smth
its honestly kinda funny bc ur like 10, and just 🤨🤨🤨??? sometimes at ppl (u got better at reading ppl as u got older obv, and at english too, that doesnt help lol)
he’s super sweet abt it, just really quick which is great too,
“he’s irritated at the guard, not us!”
or “she’s relieved, not upset, don’t worry it’s all good!”
like, u never misunderstand ANYBODY with this Oni around!! <3
(this is mainly bc Itto’s gotta know when to bail, joke, stand his ground, etc. from experience, and messing w/Kujou Sara so he’s actually really good at reading people, only when he’s paying attention tho)
so younger u just feels safe around Itto, and so while u do get taught english (mostly by his grandma/Kuki) u also dont rlly mask,
nor do u know how to mask as well as you do in the future
so ur just running around with the gang, living ur little neurodivergent life, and anytime someone points out smth u do that might be awkward, like repeating something over and over as a stim (esp with learning english phrases/new words at times) the gang and Itto, and Kuki, are all ready to protect 💪
but most of the time what happens is- whether unintentionally or not, Itto manages to make THEM feel awkward or like they’re the ones doing something socially weird all the time 😭
just, a parent is like “this kid can’t speak English, do they even know any other language? Because all I keep hearing is them repeating that sound over and over…”
Itto: “Damn you're right they do that a lot, just like how you peek out your window a lot, but we all got our quirks man, no need to be shy about it, the kid isn’t, so just open those curtains, and that window and look out at the world!”
which announces to the whole neighborhood, bc Itto is only ever not loud when you tap his arm as a signal, that the parent is the nosiest bitch ever, he just puts them on blast for everyone to hear lmao
Itto is actually very respectful about you, and while it would, almost be easy bc of the age switching, for him to infantilize you, he’s really good at treating you like an equal no matter how old you are :0 :D
like a giant teddy bear older brother at times, and the guys and Kuki are all pretty good at it too
(tho dw, Kuki is doing all the emotional distress heavy lifting for all of them over your safety, esp bc when u switch at first u are VERY out of your element/disoriented bc u dont always recognize Teyvat/know less English)
but that being said…
Itto fucking loves your excited/happy stims!!!
You flap your hands? Ittos flapping his arms!
You jump up and down, Itto jumps!,
…with his full grown man self with MUSCLES, and causes a mini earthquake wherever you guys are- yknow a shop, the center of town, somebody’s house, near one of the guards 💀 (which always manages to knock them flat on their ass LMFAOO)
Or best of all, you do little stompy stomps??
ITTO DOES HIS STOMPS WITH YOU, like his idle animation does??? :D !!
DUDE- (/gen.n.)
u were like 8 at the time, and saw Kujou Sara for the first time, she’s looking all badass, mostly bc Itto pranked her and she’s power-walking toward u guys pissed as hell ready to arrest him, but u love it anyway bc shes so cool, and right as Sara gets to u two-
u start doing stompy stomps! And Itto joins!!
…and she’s shocked at first, but realizing how giggly and happy u two are, and then Itto explains its bc of her???
Kujou Sara lets Arataki Itto go, for the first time, ever.
she doesnt explain, but she literally was so melted by cuteness, and a warm familiarity??, by u two she couldnt be mad anymore lmao
Itto is now legally obligated to bring you to any and all matters involving the government, regardless of age, according to Kuki Shinobu, his grandma, and himself
all for different reasons tho, Itto’s like, “My lucky charm! My bestie goes everywhere with me!”
meanwhile Kuki/grandma: “A foreign non-Teyvatian speaking child/teen at times is more adept at keeping Itto in line than anyone else, or at least getting him out of the consequences 💀”
Bonus:
The first time you see the Raiden Shogun,
She scares the shit out of 6 yr old you 😭
And she recognizes that familiar aura immediately, so shes just like:
😶😦😰
(You warm up to her after she offers to show you how she can summon lightning, Itto helped her lmao, and Ei also came out to keep u safe bc Raiden is a little… unaware… at times, of mortal limits, and now that ur in a mortal body-)
Also both of them unanimously agree to be the sugar mother to all ur hyperfixation foods/safe foods ever, SCOREEEE
Bonus 2:
*KUKI WOULD LIKE THE COLLECTIVE CITY OF INAZUMA TO KNOW SHE DOES NOT APPROVE OF ITTO TEACHING U ENGLISH CUSSWORDS
I hope somebody likes Itto enough to enjoy this, sorry if u arent a huge fan of him Orah! I just think he's annoying and neat, and havent written abt Inazuma enough lmao
I finally graduated college/uni by the way guys!!!
Ill actually have a life now that wont be hogged by homework! Like writing! Like drawing! Like anything but school!
Anyway, love u guys, another post coming soon,
Safe Travels Orah,
💀♒️
♡my beloved♡
@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk
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ganondoodle · 5 months
Text
since seeing a post from a mutual yesterday i was thinking about how grateful i am that i can now, confidently say something like -im taking demise away from nintendo- or -hes MY character now- while knowing that the people following me will understand that thats not actually possible and also i dont mean that literally literally (duh)
bc (while i have mentioned it in the past and im not trying to fish for sympathy with this, the memories ... and trauma really does come back every now and then) there were people once that imagined i said that about a popular character in the fandom i was in when i was a teen and proceeded to try (and nearly succeeding bc i was already struggeling alot with depression, anxiety and undiagnosed autism) to bully me into killing myself; perhaps it wasnt their actual goal, but the shit they did (alot of them were adults too), was absolutely insane, but i've only been able to see that wayyyy after the fact
like even if im remembering wrong and i did word it wrong or weird or in a way that was easily misunderstood, i was a teen, with english not as my first language and it still was some fandom shit that ultimately did not matter and never in any scenario warrented that level of harrassment, i dont even think i ever told my parents bc i thought i had to deal with it alone since i 'caused' it too and since then just ... wanting to forget it ever happened
while i am much, much better now, and slowly learning to manage my mental health struggles too, i do wonder just .. how much of how i am today was shaped by that horrible experience, like the way i overly try to pre-apologize and put doubts on every thought i write out, or the panic i feel when something does go outside my usual range (mostly twitter really ..) was immensely worsened by that .. among stuff i probably dont even realize
funnily enough, i made my account on tumblr to try and flee from all that was happening to me (even if they did stalk me at first .. even here) and hey, im still here :D
i guess what im trying to say is, i am very happy to still be here, i am grateful to be able to be myself, even with its downsides, even with my problems, even if the things i do are passable at best, even if i will never "make it big", even if i am annoying at times, even if i do mistakes still, even if i am .... horribly bad at replying to the awesome people that message me-
there are, at least a few people, who enjoy, or even care, or heck, even think about what i draw and write, which is .. still mind boggling to me and i might never be able to truly believe its all real, there are people who are able to see beyond my flaws, forgive me if i do missstep or overreact, and just be aware that even with everything i share about me, there is lots you dont know that may inform why i feel a certain way about something, but thats okay, i am human, i am here, there are people who enjoy my brainworms, and perhaps even think i, as a person, am nice
i am so grateful for that
some things are good
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wachtelspinat · 28 days
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Hi, I saw your background with studying medicine and being an artist and I wanted to ask something!! hope it isn't uncomfy. so the school system by itself is killing my creativity and Im afraid I'll completely lose myself if I get into college... Even if I choose to study something art related. College is really absorbing and I don't want to graduate and have killed the only talent I have, thats scary!!! So, how did you "go" back? did drawing help with the stress of college or make it worse? Sometimes my studies define me so so much I cant do anything else, its so frustrating :(
hey there ! i really don't know if i can bring sth to the plate that's positive or uplifting in the matter because i've been in a struggle with art myself for almost 2 years now. i'm really trying to come back but the pace has changed drastically. it's still a constant mood crusher everytime i look back and see how my output has declined. nevertheless i'm drawing again in the smallest babysteps so hopefully i'm gonna pick up the pace again at some point.
as for school and art. yeah. i kind of opened with my current situation because altho (med) school was A Meatgrinder technically speaking i still found time to draw here and there. which was mostly thanks to my higher energy lvl back then and my BIG motivation to draw and to share. so i'd say drawing absolutely helped with the stresses of studying and med school. it was my happy place and escapism. and because of that there was hardly any doubt in my head that i'll ever lose that. so i think it is safe to say that as long as you want to draw you will always be drawing.
second thought here which is also important is that you won't be stuck in an eternal grind, even if it feels like it sometimes. there will be times in which everything sucks. and there will be times in which everything could be worse. and if you wanna draw then, you're going to draw. that's at least how i experienced it. even the longer periods of not drawing because of exhaustion/loss of motivation/exam periods etc eventually pass. and sometimes it's ok to remind yourself that drawing is not everything, altho we like to think that way sometimes. it's absolutely ok not to draw for a while.
another breaking point for me was when i actually started to study for art (anatomy as in for drawing etc) because it helped me at a point at which i felt stuck and it made me understand that i will never be done learning in regards of drawing. which is a good reminder whenever you feel like you are losing your "talent", which is not a talent but a work in progess for years and years to come. so in the end, even if you have to step back from drawing for the time being, you have the ability to always come back to it and get better again. like we have to treat making art like learning a language, there is never an end to it and we have to practice to be back in shape. i know this sounds like work but idk for me it made sth click in my head that i'm not losing sth here. i just have to warm up and get back on the track again.
i hope this helped in some way, i'm really sorry that you feel like you are about to experience a great loss (i absolutely get you, it sucks to deal with this, esp. when outer circumstances force you to push your hobbies in the background) but i think that if you really want to engage with drawing again, you won't lose this. you may have to put work into it, and it may not be today or tomorrow, but if you really want to do it, you keep at it.
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defodisturbed · 2 months
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Mastermind - Recoms x Singer!Recom!reader
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(A/N: heyy... hey.. im back :3. im sorry for leaving for SO LONG im dealing with a lot of personal stuff right now but im really trying to write more. i want to get faster at typing and i also needa feed my children. also most of this fic will be exposition and the events leading up to the climax like im not even joking its so long. hope yall enjoy this one. mwah) (and yes I based the songs on Taylor Swift and if you're gonna be in the replies being hateful, gtfo my page (kindly))
What if I told you I'm a mastermind?
And now you're mine.
I had always hid my true past from my teammates. Practically everyone. I only really had a journal, and even that was locked away under my rug under my bed. Nobody knew it was there, and nobody could access it without waking me up or making some kind of noise. It was a sacred book to me. I could talk to... something with it. I could express my feelings of wanting to go back to the way things were, but never wanting to leave Pandora. Never wanting to leave my friends. And never wanting to leave my lovers.
I'm a recombinant for the RDA. When I died in my human body, they had my DNA and were already growing my new body to be revived. I have my memories of my past life, and it was awesome. Until... my mom found out she was drafted for the mission on Pandora. I, being the best kid ever, took her place. My fans were scared for me, and tried to convince me not to. They'd heard it all, how dangerous Pandora was. Especially for a singer with no military experience or knowledge. But I accepted my fate. For my mother. For my family. I had siblings back home, and with me going on tour all the time, I wouldn't be able to take care of them if my mother was gone. So I accepted the fact that I was most likely, if not definitely, going to die on this mission.
And I did. My family recieved the news, but also learned about Project Phoenix. They were relieved to know that their kid was going to be revived, just maybe not the same.
-----
"Hey, ma. How're you?" Prager asked as I sat down at the table. It was lunch at the cafeteria. They pretty much just fed us protein-filled slop most of the time. Rarely, they would throw a cookie in there if it was a holiday on Earth.
"Oh, it's going alright, baby. Thanks. Hey, can I ask you a question?" I replied. Prager nodded and leaned in. "Do you think you could ask the Colonel if we could go out in the forest today and just... explore? He doesn't know this, but I actually have some science friends and they showed me some fruits and animals that we can harvest and safely eat. I tried some and Pandora food is good. Like, really good. I wanna surprise the team, and you know Colonel can't say no to you."
Prager agreed and once the Colonel sat at our table, he immediately started.
"Colonel, I was wondering if we could go out into the forest today and just have some fun. Explore, fuck around in some river or something?" Quaritch looked at Prager and gave that ONE sigh. (A/N: its giving "go get my purse") "Fine. But we ain't bringing a baby viperwolf home because Ja wants one." He glared at Ja. He was always the one to see a stray dog and say "please please pleaaaaase mom can we adopt it??" as a kid.
I silently thanked Prager for doing my bidding as always.
-----
We were out in the forest, going over the rules we've memorized by heart now. Once the Colonel finished up, I immediately took off. I was so excited to get some nice food that I didn't realize the cliff drop below me. I was suddenly falling, the wind rushing past my body and feeling almost painful as it hit my face and went away so fast, over and over again.
I dived head first into a lake. The drop wasn't that bad, I realized. Alicia was first on the scene, peeking over the dropoff with a worried look on her face as she hoped to God I wasn't dead. I waved my hand up at her and called out.
"Get down here, this is so fun!! Don't be afraid to get a running start either!" my voice echoed. "Are you okay??" she shouted back. "I'm amazing!!"
Alicia ran over to the others and told them to watch her. She embraced her inner child as she ran as fast as she could and leaped off the cliff. She felt the wind rush past her face as I had, and splashed in the water with me. The rest of my team ran over and looked. We were... fine? Lopez was next. He gladly jumped and plooshed in with us. Then Prager, Zhang, Walker, Warren, Mansk, Lyle, Fike, and finally... Quaritch. He took a chance and jumped.
We were playing and splashing each other with water as we finally relaxed for once. Of course, we had fear of predators. But we didn't care as much anymore. We were playing like kids and it felt so good.
-
After we dried off and got back to the forest, I took off again. This time, more careful. I found an abandoned basket in pretty good condition and took it with me to collect fruits and veggies. I collected some yovo fruit, some other stuff I didn't know the name of but still knew was safe, and finally it was time to get some meat. I was looking to make some nice Pandora burritos for everyone. I found a nice bow and some arrows, perhaps forgotten by a young hunter excited to show their family their haul.
While I was gathering food, one of my favorite songs got stuck in my head while I was thinking about my life back on Earth. I started humming... then singing the lyrics... then full belting the long notes. I didn't realize Lyle was near, close enough to hear but far enough to stay hidden. He'd never heard my songs because he was in the military before I even debuted. I'm sure he was confused who I was singing.
I got some hexapede meat, some meat from hard fruits, and I also took down a lone viperwolf. I put the stuff in the basket to bring home.
-
"What the Hell is all of this? What've you been doing this entire time? Why do you have a bow? Did you encounter a native?" Colonel asked. I said I found it and saw no booby traps so I took it. I explained that my friends at the lab wanted some samples so I got some for them. Obviously it was a lie, but I couldn't spoil the surprise.
He allowed me to take my findings and harvest home. I thanked him and was so excited to make him and our team a good meal for once.
-----
I got out my cutting board and my cooking knife and started chopping. I cooked some of that chicken-y stuff and some of that fruit. I thanked Mansk in my head for teaching me these things.
-
I radio'd everyone to come to my room. I said I had a surprise for them. "I swear to God, if we get there and you're on the bed naked again I will... actually not be mad." Lyle said back.
"This isn't that kind of surprise, Lyle. Just get over here!"
Once they all were in the room, I retrieved a tray with foil over it. The smell wafted into the room as I uncovered the gift. They were all so surprised and hypnotized by the burritos.
"For you guys! You deserve it. Take one, I insist!" I squealed. They all grabbed one and a paper towel and with the first bite, they relaxed their tense muscles and rolled their eyes back. They hadn't had a good meal like this in a good, long while.
"Hey, Y/N, what song were you singing in the forest? You were really loud... must've been one of your favorites or something. Is it on Spotify?" Lyle asked as he finished his first bite. My eyes widened. "You... heard that?"
"Yeah, I heard a little bit too. It was something about a new romantic or something like that." Zdinarsk added. "Yeah you were singing about something related to rings or something too." Mansk said. "I don't know, I could be wrong, but last time I checked, you weren't married." Lopez said.
"Um... can we forget all of that happened? Sorry, I was just getting carried away and I sang some of my own songs and-" I was soon cut off by the Colonel saying, "Wait- your songs?"
I soon shoved them out of my room, begging them to let it go and to not talk about it again. I closed the door behind me as I slid down the metal wall to the floor. I took some big, deep breaths and checked under my bed to check if my journal and hard drives were still there, even though I'd been with them the entire time. Phew! They're still there. I thought.
-----
The next day, at dinner in the cafeteria, I brought my bag with me and sat down with everybody acting like nothing was wrong. Conversation sparked when someone asked, "So what's everyone planning on doing tomorrow? Ardmore gave us the day off." I said I was planning on bingeing my favorite show wrapped in my blankets with my favorite foods. They all agreed and said they would be training, sleeping, exploring, hooking up, or something fun/relaxing.
I suddenly got a call from my friend on the phone. I knew it was something important, because my phone was blowing up with texts while she was waiting for me to answer. I hurriedly ran off to my room for privacy, forgetting my bag full of personal stuff. Including my hard drives. Zdog decided it couldn't hurt to see what I carry around all day, so she started digging. She found my sunglasses, hairbrush/comb, an unopened soda can, some loose candy, and... hard drives?
"Hey does anyone know why Y/N has hard drives in her bag?" Z asked. Nobody knew, so she decided to take them and pass them out for them to watch later. It for sure wasn't porn, Ardmore would've never let it through. It's gotta be some home videos or something.
-----
Zdog and the others piled onto the bed in her room and uploaded the drives onto her computer. They were numbered. They watched the first one and it was a black screen with the sound of a crowd cheering. It was around an hour long. They watched as a... stage appeared. A big one. It was a stadium full of people. A concert? Then appeared the person performing. It was... you. Some already made the connections, while others took a little bit. You were performing for around 70,000 people along with cameras so everyone could watch it live. they watched all of the hard drives all throughout the night, only falling asleep when they went through all of them.
-----
You were in your room, hanging up the call. turns out it was just some cute guy flirted with her at a restaurant. Only then did you realize that you left your bag in the cafeteria. You immediately went back for it, checking everything was there because people just love to snoop. You realized all of your hard drives were missing. You soon were banging on the Colonel's door, asking if he'd seen anybody take them or had anything in their hands. He wasn't there. You knocked on everyone's door and nobody answered. You went back to your room, wailing into your pillow. Those drives were the last thing you had of Earth. Of your entire life before the military. Soon enough, you cried yourself to sleep. In the morning, you slept in. It was your day off, after all. You heard a knock on the door. You recognized it as Z. You opened the door and there she was. She came in without an invite and immediately sat on your bed.
"Y/N. I am... just so sorry. When you left your bag in the cafeteria, I looked through it when I should've respected your privacy. I found hard drives and took all of them to my room and the rest of the team and I watched all of them. In order. All the way through. I am so sorry for disrespecting your right to privacy and watching the videos that were obviously private." She closes her eyes softly, looking down toward the floor with her hands twiddling in her lap. Too embarrassed and disappointed with herself to even look at me.
"Z, I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have been so secretive. Especially with the ones who love me most. The truth is, I was a very rich and famous singer on Earth. You probably know that by now. So does everyone else. But I'm trying to work through it and not be embarrassed to share my past."
"It's not your fault. I love you. We love you. You never have to hide anything from us, but if you don't want it to be shared, that's okay too. So... can we listen to some of your songs?" Z laughed. I said yes an radio'd everyone to come to my room. I had a surprise.
MWAH I love yall!!!! hope you guys enjoyed i've had this au stuck in my head since like last year :) 💋💋
@dyingofcookies ITS HERE BESTIE
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fakesimp · 8 months
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hear me out on ver x gn!reader baking together
reader has at most watched one minute of five youtube videos on how to cook, and ver’s baked for years
im sorry if this req isnt v interesting its like 3:32 am when im sending this and i pulled this idea out of my ass
Baking, With Ver Vermillion
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Warning !
Fluff ; Slight Crack ; Established Relationship
A/n !
Why are you awake at such hour.
➶◜◝➴
"Ver! Let's try baking today"
"... That's so random of you, I thought you're just gonna lay in bed reading like usual"
"Hey, don't call me out like that. I want to try something new"
"Hm~ okay okay, let's try baking"
. . .
That's how it started, but then you realize you've never got an experience with baking before, or perhaps you did but not really doing that much.
And now that you're in this situation, where you and your Beloved Kaichou, baking together.
He had way more experience than you, the way he moved around the kitchen to find what things you need to make this certain cake you wanted.
"Okay so, ..Jagiya, Do you know how to bake" He rolled up his sleeves and put on an apron on him, then on you. "No..." You can hear him stifling his laughter behind you as he tie your apron, "H, Hey! Don't laugh at me," You scolded him. Earning a small apology from him, though he's chuckling as he did.
"How about you?" You asked as you look at the preparation in front of you, a bowl, a whisk, ..other basic baking stuff that you need is displayed in front of you and him.
"I've learned about how to bake years ago, since, you know. I'm a sweet tooth, and I prefer not to spend money on them. So.." He looked over at you smiling, "So you decided to learn how to make them yourself" He smiled wider and nod his head, "Yes that's correct" he said as he now grabbing a scissor to open up some ingredients.
"Okay then-" You took a deep breath, "Teach me."
. . .
It's only been 10 minutes in, you, learning how to bake not only from Ver, but also watching videos about them.
You, kinda doubt yourself if you could get a hang of it, but Ver reassured you that it'll go well, he'll help you.
And so it began, you both started mixing the ingredients, as you whisk them, Ver went to grab the tray.
After you're done, you helped Ver pouring the dough on the cake mold. As you wait for the cake, you both decided to make icing for the cake, after you're done making the icing, you tried to grab a taste.
Ver beat you to it, before you could put your finger in your mouth, he grabbed your wrist and licked the icing off your fingers.
"Tasty~" He said and let your wrist off, pretending like he did nothing at all, "Y, You-!" You glared at him as he smiled teasingly at you. "Me?" He repeated, You smacked his arm, making him laugh as he brush his hand on your reddened cheek.
"You're so unfair." You pouted, but then laughed along with him.
. . .
After who knows how long, both of you finished making the cake along with applying the icing. You stared at the cake in front of you, nothing too much but it looks simple and it actually taste good.
You shared a plate with Ver, eating the cake together, satisfied with the result.
"Maybe we should do this more often" You said as you glance at the cake and then looking back at Ver, "I don't mind, it's fun to do it together"
You smiled at him, "Okay then, next time, we'll try to cook some food then"
"Can't wait"
©fakesimp . 2023
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A/n !
I hope you like this anon ! Even though you just pulled that idea out of your ass, I still manage to write a fic about it.
Anywho, thank you for requesting !
( 7/10 )
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faelapis · 9 months
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elemental has turned around at the box office and gone from flop to doing well. it seems this is pretty much entirely because of word of mouth. maybe theres other factors im not considering, but thats pretty fucking impressive.
and i think it deserves it tbh. it is far from perfect, but it might be my favorite pixar film of the 20s so far. granted, the bar isn't as high as the 10s or 00s, but hey, the decade is young. its pretty good!
i think what i liked about it was mainly that it was really emotionally sincere. like. its not too snide or self-aware, it just deeply cares about its characters and is totally committed to the world.
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so many newer pixar flicks have this "popcorn filler" middle where there's zany antics that barely connect to the emotional journey. this movie doesn't. its all about these two main characters bonding in a way i found organic and compelling. and there's very little cringe humor. that one annoying tree guy is basically just in it for two seconds. idk why disney marketing still (wrongly) believes that kind of eyebrow wiggle humor is popular, because that made the movie look WAY worse.
anyway. its definitely good for a movie that was written off en-masse as cringey and generic and a lazy race metaphor. i don't think its any of these things. i think the main creative voice speaking about their own immigrant experiences does the job in a decent way.
also, that one clip of "fire girl being racist" is ignoring the crucial context that SHES the immigrant whos discriminated against, not some white-coded karen who needs to learn to be less racist. shes aware that shes less privileged and doesnt want to rock the boat.
also-also, i'm not even going reason with the badfaith twitter take that "she doesn't wanna date the tree boy because she's RACIST instead of it being because he's a CHILD?? #groomer alert!1!!"
like. come on. she's clearly not interested in him, she doesn't need to Spell Out that its because he's a child. that's not the point of the movie. thats just the most lazy twitter hot take for the sake of morally justifying that you found a thing cringe. don't be that person.
if you don't wanna see it, hey, don't. its fine. i'm not gonna go to bat like its the most important movie ever or anything... but its nice seeing pixar have more well-rounded, developed girl characters, after decades of being the emotionally sincere boys club. about time.
also, the romance is cute. i totally get why the aroace community in particular relate. like. its a romance where they Literally cannot touch each other, so its a relationship that actually develops because of their personalities rather than anything physical. its nice :)
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the-magicians-blue · 2 years
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*walks up to you in my tattered victorian clothes, holding a dirty bread loaf* please sire (gender neutral)...one cup of micah yujin content again🥺🥺
Why did I cackle at this 😂😂😂 I feel like atp I should just do a week of Micah content ya know give everyone a healthy does of the Yujin Experience only if y’all want it though! Im thinking each day is a different topic you guys choose? Let me know what ya think!
1:26pm
Though Micah’s main love language is quality time, physical touch comes a close second. As much as he loves spending time with you and just talk, being able to touch you is a big bonus. He didn’t realize just how close physical touch was until he first came to see you. Being able to talk to you about anything with you all snuggled up against him was a feeling he didn’t realize he needed. The added intimacy just made your conversations feel so much more important, even the silly things like how if you ever became a cat he’d take you home and take care of you with Skrunkly.
The down side to learning this is that he starts to miss you in ways he didn’t before. When he went home and you went back to video calls, he’d randomly start pouting as he looked at you. When you ask him whats wrong he often complains about wanting to hug you or kiss you. It’s not that just talking doesn’t do it for him anymore, he just likes the little bonus. Its like trying a new version of a snack you like, the original is still good, but that doesn’t mean you won’t crave a little extra every now and then.
The longer he was away the more he wanted to hold you. So a few weeks later you find Micah standing in front of your door with a suitcase and an adorable cat carrier with that signature goofy ass smile he usually has.
“Soooo, don’t be mad but I remembered you saying you only had to work two days this week since your job is giving you a break after that big project they gave you so I thought hey! Why don’t we have a sleepover with the queen herself, Skrunkly! Pleasedontbemadijustreallymissedkissingandhuggingyou.”
You couldn’t be mad at him even if you wanted to, he even brought the baby with him. He does his best to make up for the sudden appearance by helping with cooking and cleaning. Is this his way to ensure more snuggle time? Yes. Will he ever outwardly admit that. Hell no. He’ll claim he’s just keeping to his word of cooking and cleaning while you work.
If he’s not cuddling you and Skrunkly he’s always touching you in some way shape or form. Whether its holding your hand when you’re out showing him around the city you live in or gently holding your waist while you prove you’re just as good a cook as he is, an argument he quickly admitted defeat on. Once he goes back home he won’t be able to do all of this so he’s trying to get his fill before then. Sometimes he’ll put on jazz or some old R&B just to have an excuse to drag you into dancing. If its R&B he’d sing the lyrics softly in your ear cause he’s definitely playing some cheesy love song.
“Gotta make sure I get a good dose of lovin’ before I go back home ya know?”
Micah loves being the big spoon. It makes him feel like your protector and it’s his silent way of saying he loves you and he’s not going anywhere. And when you snuggle into him it makes his heart flutter, it makes him feel like you want him there. He’ll sing the song he wrote for you if you ask and melts when you sing with him.
However on his more down days or when he feels like he needs a little reassurance he likes being the little spoon. He’ll bury his face in your chest and cling as tightly as possible. He doesn’t talk much when he’s like this. He really just wants your presence and affection. He’s prone to falling asleep when he lays on you like this. He can’t help it, the way you hold him and scratch his head makes him feel so… safe.
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hirsheyskisses · 2 years
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Hello Hir-san!!!May I request cooking with Ike? :D i just thought this idea might be cute <3 thank you!!!!!!
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❝..Paprika? Spicy-❞
┆Ike Eveland x Reader
┆┆FLUFF (spec of spice if you squint-)
tHIS IS SHORt-- but hey. Fun fact: paprika chicken is actually really good-- im also not used to writing for Ike so its a little off BUT ILL GET BETTER!
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"Can you pass me the paprika, my love?"
You extended your hand to Ike, and he quickly passed the small red bottle to you; watching your skilled, delicate hands work the odd mixture into the chicken. Paprika chicken bowls, you called it. When you suggested it, Ike got curious- any food Ike made had to be good, right? And, per your request, he was in the kitchen and actively helping you.
It was a pleasant experience- Ike humming softly, occasionally diving into a conversation with you, asking about the dish, how you came to learn it, and what changes you made to the recipe. A few simple explanations for a change was the lack of honey, for it made it too sweet; the adjustments of seasonings, etc, etc.
Your hands were graceful, and you were a very good cook. He admired it, actually. After having gotten so used to Mysta trying to cook for the last week- this was a nice change.
"So, this was one of your favorite dishes?" Ike questioned, glancing at you. "Yeah! My dad used to make it.. a lot. For events or memorable times. Throw in a baked potato and a burrito bowl, and you've got a pretty good meal, if you ask me!"
As you finished rubbing the seasoning into the chicken, you moved to the sink. Not for the first time, you could feel Ike's eyes on you, watching your every move from where he leaned against the counter. Hot water hitting your hands as you washed them. But as you did, Ike pressed himself against you, arms snaking around your waist.
"Ikeey wikey~ what're you?-" "You're so good. Too good to me." Ike mumbled, burying his face into your neck. You chuckled softly and, after shaking the water off your hands, turned and placed your arms around his neck. "It's just food."
"Good food.." "I think you've just gotten too used to Mysta's cooking, Ikey." "....Maybe."
Ike chuckled, and for a moment, the two of you stood there. Ike was clearly falling into thought, and you were simply happy to feel his warmth besides you. But when a few moments turned into minutes, you got just a little concerned.
"Ikeyy?" "Mmmmmmm... yeah?" "...Can you let me go? I need to finish cooking-" "...No." "Ike-"
He pressed a kiss to your neck, causing heat to rise to your face. Seeming satisfied, he slowly pulled away, and you set to work to hide your embarrassment. Placing the chicken on the grill, listening to the satisfying sizzle.
"So for dessert.. Can I have you?" Ike piped up,
"IKE EVELAND-"
Curse this teasing idiot, who chose the worst times to be a flirt--
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ladysantos · 1 year
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Hey hello :D first of all, I LOVE your artworks they inspire me so much 😭😭
Second of all,, what brushes do you use for your rendered pieces?? I'm in absolute LOVE with the texture and the way it blends together!! It would be cool if you make a little tutorial about rendering and all if it's not a problem for you ;u;
Would you consider uploading timelapses or WIPs of your art? I learn a lot from seeing other artist's process, and your art greatly inspires mine! ❤️
im so glad to hear these thank you 🥺💖 ill try my best to explain my rendering process because there really isnt much about it LOL
ive been messing around with these brushes for a while! its from @/mayexplode, really great textures and really fun to experiment with (ty aina ❤️)
i made a process gif of my recent piece, if youve noticed im only painting over the drawing and generally just cleaning it up and making it a bit more detailed
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adding and changing up details on paintovers. brush and texture work is usually on instinct LOL whatever looks good is fine with me, i try not to stick with one brush throughout the illustration to have variety on textures
i really hope these helped because im not really great at making tutorials!!
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aeoneris · 9 months
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for archival reasons, and because rise has officially ended, i'm coping by looking back at the past two years and thinking about the master utsushi rabbit hole. this is based on a long reply i sent to a mutual but i think it deserved to have its own post where others can read it and i can expand further on certain details. or something. i don't know. i have no idea who will read this but if you do, please enjoy...
the ballad of master utsushi.
he was there regardless.
always watching.
waiting.
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i wound up getting attached to utsushi-kyokan (master/instructor utsushi), ウツハン/utsuhan (utsushi x hunter) ship, and finding his Japanese fan community late 2021, and i've been chatting with mutuals and friends i made there since. at that time, capcom had opened up pre-orders for his nui (plushie). this plush is lovingly referred to as "Unui-kun", and people love to take him around and bring him places. here's my Unui-kun in new york city lol
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fans love to dress him up and make clothing and accessories for him. had i known just how attached i would become, i would not have set my Unui-kun to ship via surface mail delivery because it took about 2-3 months extra for him to arrive... ;;
but anyway, it seemed that his popularity was growing because they continued to make more merch of him. he seems to have more than any of the other characters.
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many of these are limited print/pre-order only, or were from specific events like the capcom cafe features. trying to get his merchandise became crazy, because scalpers started to pick up on how badly people wanted goodies of him?!
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just how popular is this guy?! what's with the character tax!!
and how did this even happen... we're playing monster hunter, not an idol game! but i think it really speaks a lot for itself how rise had such colorful characters that you could get attached to. it seems he really jives with many female and queer players, so good on capcom for that hehe. many of the japanese fans i've met are either older women, very often mothers, or gnc, which i found to be really cool. the english-speaking utsushi fans are usually the same, too. the solidarity is real...
I found out that a lot of ppl, including myself, shared a similar experience: they missed out on a majority of utsushi's flavor text in base rise bc they didn't talk to him or the other NPCs very much during village and high rank quests, and therefore didn't even think much of him until after the fact. people double-taking when going through the game again and actually catching on to his antics... I think what really got things going was when they released his DLC voice and learned about his, uh, extremely affectionate lines towards the hunter when it comes to mew mew and blowing a kiss LOL. (the "welcome back, master!" line?!?! there's so much art of him in a maid outfit... and the way he says ace/manadeshi in his sleep at the table?!?! scandalous?!?!) even for me, he got my attention only once i saw the official art of him (realizing "hey he's got a cute design actually") and eventually encountering utsushi x hunter fanart on pixiv. another thing that got me noticing him was brian david gilbert's now deleted tweet about how zac efron and utsushi are the same. thankfully, we have the internet archive to save the existence of this post and i have to make sure people experience this lost media.
once i realized how weirdly close he was to the hunter, the gears started turning
i confirmed that ppl really did notice that it was unusual for an instructor character to refer to his pupil as "manadeshi (beloved/dearest disciple)" in the manner that he does, being so close to them in a way that felt so familiar and warm. he was already popular enough that by valentine's day 2022, fans literally sent real chocolates to capcom addressed to utsushi. i knew about this for a while, but i was shook that they wound up officially addressing that this really happened during the last update video.
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after they received his chocolates, they immediately got one of the (female) illustrators on board to quickly draw that really cute valentine's day art of utsushi. the japanese tweet for that artwork had even a little bit more text than the english one…
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that "i'll always be watching over you" line…
(and while i'm here, i have to mention the valentine's day art we got for 2023- i made a separate post about THAT.)
we started to suspect capcom caught on to this niche community's love for utsushi, and they started to kind of... troll us??? LOL.
throughout the previews of sunbreak last year, they would start obsessively sneaking utsushi into those chibi artworks. and when npc followers were announced, people were scrambling to find out if he was going to be one of them, but there also was some weird radio silence about him for a bit...
in one of the earlier trailers that showed the elgado hub for the first time, there was a very short part of the clip where ppl could see someone standing in the distance at the corner of the screen. all the utsushi fans went nuts because they were taking a magnifying glass and zooming up at there wondering if it was really him, because everyone wanted him to be there in sunbreak LOL.
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of course we'd eventually find out that would be his perch for most of the game! it was only during the final preview trailer before the release of sunbreak did they finally announce utsushi as a follower, as if they were saving the best for last. and sunbreak dropped, we got to see him in elgado and enjoy hunting with him. and it didn't end there. he wound up being featured in two of the short stories released last summer, and we would not forget this incident.
when i think about how easy it is to just play through the story and miss out on following specific out-of-the-way flavor texts, let alone know about all this outside of the game, i wonder if utsushi joining the hunter in the battle against amatsu in the penultimate battle was strange, because he has such a spotlight on him, even being the one who allows you to ride an apex which was normally impossible. if people didn't acknowledge him before, certainly people would love him now.
his final line after you defeat amatsu: it's cute and silly in english... but in japanese, his line and delivery was extremely, almost unabashedly... romantic. many people were shocked because it sounded like a fervent confession.
"I'll say it once more... You are my pride, my beloved disciple."
finally, during the last update video…
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we got this line straight from the director LOL. utsushi wound up being his personal favorite character in rise, and perhaps why we wound up seeing more and more of him in sunbreak.
all in all, if you kept up with the flavor text of rise, and if you followed utsushi's dialogue throughout the base game and expansion, the emotional pay off at the end was even better! and it is a shame when this stuff is mostly optional or you have to go out of the way for it, with so much being missable with every bit of progression. but making a monhun where story and character interactions are pushed more… i think they were on to something. it's probably something that could be divisive, but personally I think they should go all in on it more in the future. Rise proved that they could make charming and memorable (not to mention, named) characters... if they lean into it more in a future entry, then i hope they do it in a way where everyone can enjoy it and not feel like they missed out. but I also hope they would make it so that people don't feel overwhelmed with flavor text... it comes down to taste, but i think i have faith that monhun can try making more character-driven stories while still keeping the core of the series in tact.
here are some more miscellaneous utsushi things that i didn't know how to fit in earlier:
he's been featured multiple times in capcom cafe entrees. here's his matcha latte dango drink:
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and for the sunbreak stories: a cake based on his fight with rathalos together with the royal guard, and then a drink that represents his... uh, struggle across the ocean to chase the hunter to elgado. because they will never let him live that down. i won't either.
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here's a t-shirt of utsushi and kagami you can pick up on amazon right now. kagami was a very interesting arc when he was first shown- he was introduced as a long time friend of utsushi, training together in the past, but eventually parting ways.
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his seiyuu in japanese is a sentai actor who loves monster hunter, so essentially, kagami is lowkey like a self-insert for him lol. he's goofy in english because he's voiced by a certain youtuber, but in japanese he takes a different direction of silly because he has a "chuunibyou" edgelord cringe way of talking. it's such a shame that kagami wasn't really in the game itself besides being mentioned in a few mission descriptions because i would've loved to see him interact with utsushi and the hunter, and i wish the royal knights and many of the NPCs had more cutscenes or something. it makes me think, if it weren't for the pandemic, could rise's story and scenario have been something more because of the DLC voice characters like hibasa/monju/kagami? anyway, a popular headcanon is that utsushi and kagami are ex-boyfriends lol (i personally like this one and adapted it for my utsuhan fanfics). but there are even those who ship kagautsu too (although it is rare because people overseas are a little wary of shipping characters who are based on real people).
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and lastly, one of my personal favorites... the diseased kyokan shirt. this is from an online capcom shop, and you can use a proxy service like fromjapan.com to order it.
if you read this all, thank you! happy hunting! with the instructor! we love that guy! the guy of all time!
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dballzposting · 2 months
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okay my brain isn't fully turned on and I have more to say on this subject that won't come out of my brain rn but ive been thinking about this for days and i need to share
I think trunks is like. he watches culturally important films, or like cult classics, a lot bc he feels it is a good way to expand his worldview or like just become more cultured. but by and large he does not like them.
oh for sure there's some he enjoyed. And there's a few where he's like 'Well, I didn't enjoy it, but i definitely think it was a good film. Just not my thing.'
meanwhile goten does not seek them out at all. he could not care less. BUT if Trunks is watching one when Goten wants to hang out, he'll sit his ass down and watch! He's not passing up a free fancy people movie!
And almost every time he REALLY likes it. And after every single one he goes on for like 30 minutes about Themes and Symbolism before interrupting himself to see if trunks wants to go get milkshakes.
and then after they get shakes trunks has to spend the night thinking about it. Why does goten seem to Get things so easily? Why does understanding worldviews he doesn't necessarily agree with come so naturally to Goten, when Trunks is actively trying?
Why won't Goten stop asking to see the movie where a disembodied head bites a girl in the butt (Hausu)??? Why does he think that's so funny????????????
PART 2: (Copy & pasted just to keep it all in one place)
okay i think i figured out the rest of what i wanted to say re: goten and trunks cultural movie bonanza as an example it's not like goten knows what chiaroscuro is. but he DOES notice and enjoy how filmmakers use lighting to draw the eye to or away from stuff. He picks up on the little clues. and once he starts watching enough of a certain genre he likes noticing how so-and-so film stands against the others. it's like i spy to him. and he likes hearing what a film has to say, under its layers. trunks talks like that sometimes, when he's doing business stuff. it's all code. it's mental stimulation but Trunks is like UGH nobody has said anything for FIVE MINUTES can we PLEASE move the plot along. this is like a BUSINESS MEETING tbh. and it's not like he doesn't get the plot or, once he's taken a film class, the meaning of certain techniques. he just can't bring himself to care. AND THE MAN JUST WON'T LEARN HIS LESSON AND HE KEEPS WATCHING THESE DAMN FILMS. also Goten like. he doesn't know these movies. his parents don't fucking watch movies. i mean maybe chichi watches like. romance and martial arts movies probably. he probably likes to compare himself to crouching tiger hidden dragon. so he DOESN'T know what to expect!!! when trunks is like 'hey im gonna watch Citizen Kane or Vanishing Point or Deliverance' or whatever and goten says NEAT i would like to watch also and trunks is like 'I know. that's why i told you. come over around 4 okay' and so goten doesn't have any sort of knowledge of these movies! it's exciting!!! bc the movies he saw growing up were his moms movies about kissing and punching and then whatever trunks took him to see in theatres. so like action and comedy and some horror. so it's new! it's fun! even when he doesn't really like the movie he's like 'well im glad i got to experience this new thing with my best buddy Trunks' ALSO they watched Eraserhead once and goten sat there afterwards on the floor (he likes to sit on the floor) for like ten minutes chewing his lips before turning to trunks and saying something to the effect of 'Trunks. I'm worried about what kind of father you're going to be.' and trunks just sort of. sat there. and looked goten in the eyes for a while. bc he didn't have a response. okay i think i got it all out of my system thank you for your time (i have been making my way through my movie bucket list so this is very strongly on my mind)
TL;DR: Trunks watches classic and high-rated movies becasue he thinks that he's an intellectual / because he's interested in increasing his cultural/artistic literacy & expanding his worldview. But he doesn't really enjoy most of them. And it is Goten who actually is able to see through to the heart of the film, exercise deep empathy, and reap delight at the tactics of storytelling unique to the medium. He's like WOOOAH SO COOL & MEANINGFUL .. (offers a critical analysis perfectly, that is sensitive and insightful). And Trunks is like wtf .... (stays awake at night pondering his deficits.)
DBALLZ COMMENTARY:
I WANT TO BE GOTEN ...
From what I'm gathering he A.) Has the capacity to UNDERSTAND what he's seeing B.) Has the capacity to ANALYZE/INTERPRET what he's seeing C.) Has the heart to EXPERIENCE the movie in full and D.) Has the faculty to ARTICULATE/VERBALIZE what he's experiencing.
Goten no doubt is lacking a lot of cultural and artistic context, but he makes up for it with his observant eye, and then over time what he gathers from one movie transfers to the next and he's able to feel even more moved and offer even more insight ....
It's because his heart is open .. Trunks is trying too hard without realizing it. And you can't have an open heart when there is inner pain that you're not aware of. That's what I think about Trunks .... his trying to be someone he's not (a movie-savvy type of guy) is entirely self-removed without intending to be... He thinks it's self-improvement but really he's being entirely daft to what intrigues his mind and what would really facilitate his growth. And he can't be open-minded toward others if he can't be open-minded with himself.
But the format of movies I guess really works for Goten, they're not usually longer than two hours and they're faster paced than say a novel and they're colorful and they have a lot of movement and the mode of drama-deliverance is altogether captivating for him .... They can communicate a lot with a few small visual or auditory details and Goten is hip to just picking up on those, because he's genuinely engaged and enjoying himself.
But Trunks has elected to adopt this hobby on an intellectual principle. But all the rest of him is like ehhhh whatyever. He probably likes sitting and chilling and eating popcorn. But there's a lot he's not into. It's just not his medium. Just doesn't work for him
I also think that part of it is that Goten notices a lot of things just because they are new to him. Trunks has been watching movies his whole life. Menahwile Goten has been only watching the movies of LIFE ... The lighting of the sun and the pacing of the seasons <3 Also Ponyo
So the whole thing is new and he's like "WOOOOAH .. SO COOL HOW the camera was so high in that shot so that it made me feel tall..... really shows you how small the character feels..." And Trunks just like Didnt notice that
Also trunks just DOESNT CARE !!!! But he doesnt know that he doesnt care. SILLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I like this part regarding Goten: "He picks up on the little clues. and once he starts watching enough of a certain genre he likes noticing how so-and-so film stands against the others. it's like i spy to him. and he likes hearing what a film has to say, under its layers. trunks talks like that sometimes, when he's doing business stuff. it's all code. it's mental stimulation"
Thats such a way to put it .... Goten is being such a genius rn. He would liken it to the mysterious business-speech. IT'S ALL CODE. IT'S MENTAL STIMULATION.
I don't know any of these movies but I do agree that Goten would sit for 10 minutes and then say that to Trunks ... It's like him to assume that Trunks would be a father one day becasue that's just natural to him that's just life.
When this all started I think that Trunks was like "You sure you wanna watch this with me? It's not like Kung-Fu Panda or anything."
And Goten said "Are you kidding? I LOVE your movies. They're like delicate poetry being told through the form of telenovelas."
Becasue the only life-action TV Goten had been exposed to before was his mother's telenovelas.
I don't really agree with this next part but it's obligatory.
Goten would pick up that Trunks isn't enjoying the movies as much as Goten is, before Trunks even gives proper acknowledgment to his boredom. Trunks just keeps watching them and Goten respects that and doesn't think about it much, but eventually it must be pointed out that hey, Trunks isn't getting as much out of these as Goten is.
Maybe he keeps inviting Goten over so that Goten can tell him what the movie is about. That would make sense. But really I think that Trunks just likes to chill out with him.
But the way that Goten woiuld crunch the numbers in his head (if he's ever removed enough from the movie to ponder) (maybe during a pee break or something) is "He doesnt like the movies. He keeps watching the movies. He keeps inviting me to watch the movies. He doesnt like the movies. But he always invites me. Why do people watch movies with somebody if they don't like the movies? As an excuse to be with them. He just wants to hang out with me."
But he would take it too far and he would fall on the couch next to Trunks and start kissing on him sweetly and when Trunks goes like WHAT Goten says "you dont even like the movies. You just want to hang out with me and eat popcorn."
And the most self-awareness that Trunks had exercised about this whole thing was when he was wondering why he sucked such shit at watching movies compared to Goten. He never really thought about WHY he was doing this to begin with. And so he's doing some hard calculations in his head meanwhile Goten nuzzles him like a pigeon
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hey uhhh i hope its fine to ask advice.
i (??? im really blurry rn sorry) got two new headmates relatively recently and im trying to figure out how i can let them front without putting us in danger.
if i dont let them front they will be even more mad at me, which just makes it worse.
i just really dont know what to do because we're busy with (online) school for 5 days a week and on the weekends i want to relax, but i guess i cant take all that time for myself because they need time to relax too. but im still really stressed because if they meet my parents and act wrong it might not go well like last time.
it seems really hard to put the time out of my schedule despite it not being that busy due to stuff like chronic pain and needing a lot of time to rest compared to normal. but i dont want them to hate me.
sorry if this is impossible to answer. i get it if you delete it /gen
Hey, this is a fine and valid question to ask. We’ll do our best to answer:
For hosts, allowing their other headmates time to front and interact with the world (if those headmates want it) is essential to ensuring that the whole system can live happy, healthy lives. We know this can be very difficult to come to terms with, especially if you’re not used to having to share your time like this. I (Parker) still get weary from time to time sharing my life with my alters. It used to frustrate me more than it does these days, though. I understand that my alters want to experience life and interact with the world, and in order for me to give that to them, I had to learn how to step back and just let things happen without trying to control every aspect of their lives.
We understand that you might have to mask at home for your own safety. If you are able to contact and communicate with your headmates, it would probably be good to try and explain this to them. Y’all might be able to reach a compromise where other headmates can front if, while your parents are around, they’re able to effectively mask or pretend to be you. We know this situation isn’t ideal, but at least that could allow these headmates a chance to front every now and then. Many systems unfortunately do have to mask for their own safety - and if y'all reach a point in your lives where you no longer have to live with your parents, you can focus on learning to unmask.
At the same time, maybe you could set up some ground rules for dealing with your chronic pain and the amount of rest you need. Could you educate your headmates about the body’s pain and fatigue issues? This way, if other headmates understand how to manage your body’s pain and get enough rest, they may be able to front more often and even help you take care of your body.
To start, even just allowing your headmates to front for 5-10 minutes at a time can allow them to test out the waters of existence, hopefully without exhausting you. The more informed they are about your situation, and the more willing y’all are to make compromises and cooperate with each other, the more you may find it’s possible for you all to live in harmony together. Perhaps with communication, patience, and taking things slow, y'all may be able to start switching in a way that allows your headmates to front occasionally, without putting your system in danger.
Good luck with this! Trying to navigate system life by allowing other headmates to front while keeping the system hidden can certainly be difficult, but for many, this sort of thing is necessary in order to accommodate other members and allow the whole system to experience the world. We're wishing y'all the very best as you try to figure this out!
💫 Parker and 🍃 Corrie
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sharpth1ng · 1 month
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Sorry if this is a weird ask but I’ve recently lost my billy person and im wondering how to move on. We were almost exactly how you write them except for the obvious so i was hoping for some insight. As of now i dont feel like a person with him not in my life anymore.
Hey so I'm probably not the ideal relationship/ breakup advice giver but I'm gonna do my best.
First of all I want to say that from what I've written so far Stu deserves better than what Billy is giving him. He deserves communication, reciprocity and expressions of care that Billy isn't emotionally mature enough to give at this point in the story, and you deserve that too.
Second, my breakup recovery formula has two steps:
Feel whatever you're feeling
Sadness, anger, loss, literally whatever you're feeling you need to let yourself have that. If you're like me it's really tempting to just stuff that shit down and bury it but doing that just makes it explode out of you later. So you need to vent, write it out, draw angsty stuff, go for long walks listening to your most emo song selection. Whatever feels right for you to let that shit out, just try not to take it out on yourself. You don't deserve that.
It also helps to treat yourself. Have special snacks, take a hot bath if you like those. Let yourself play video games for a whole day if that's something you do. Basically just indulge yourself in a positive way.
2. Figure out who you are on your own and who you want to be
Honestly that's the best advice I can give to anyone, whether or not you're going through a breakup or the loss of a friendship. It's a lot easier to build a healthy connection when you know and feel (at least mostly) secure in yourself. It can be hard to get there and it's alright to be a work in progress, but there's nothing scarier than being in state where you need someone else to define you. That makes you vulnerable to manipulation and in my experience it also just makes me weird and paranoid in the relationships I do have.
Figuring out who you are can mean a lot of stuff because there's a lot of things you can be, but basically you just start trying things. Make a list of stuff you've always wanted to try. Pick up a new hobby, learn a new skill, join a group or community. Sometimes it can be good to join an activist group or take part in some kind of collective action- helps you feel connected and like you're making a positive change outside of yourself.
You can also try out a new clothing style, try listening to some new music, just give yourself a dose of stuff that's somewhat new to you. You don't have to stick to any of it and you don't have to like it all, but trying shit gives you opportunities to get to know yourself more, what you like and don't like for its own sake as opposed to what anyone else thinks of it.
This shit takes time and it's not easy, but nothing lasts forever, including sadness. You'll get through it, you'll figure yourself out better, and eventually you'll move on, whether that's on your own or with someone else.
Regardless, I hope you're doing alright right now. Just take it one step at a time, you'll be ok <3
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