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luuuuucyscorner · 3 days

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𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐖𝐡𝐢𝐭𝐞- 𝐁𝐚𝐛𝐲, 𝐈'𝐦 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬

Chapter One. Info: spider gets called up and put into the SLT. upon entering, he meets the new student: Y/n L/n and is immediately taken by her

Tags: 18+, swearing, groping

word count: 5582

gif by me

The semester started off normally enough, summer had just ended and it was time to start a new year of school. Spider's peaceful start was quickly interrupted by some random girl running through the courtyard yelling; "Oi! Theres a fully-gacked sex map in the old stairwell! It's called the Incest Map." In a blur all students were shoving their way into the stairwell trying to catch a peek at the Map. As Spider walked with Ant, attempting not to laugh at the current situation, his name was called over the loud speaker, "Will the following students please meet at classroom 5D," the principle lists a few names before saying "Spencer White". Spider groaned, “oh cunt.” As Ant next to him laughs, "Anthony Vaughn." At least he wouldn't be alone. “Oi, shits fucked, eh?” he says to his friend, “can’t imagine what kinda arvo it's gonna be.”

The two of them walk into class 5D and sit in the back, and as she walks in looking down, he calls out to Amerie; the girl who got him and twenty or so other students into this fucking mess, "Map Bitch! Map Bitch." he laughed noticing her miserable look. The teacher of the class, Ms. Obah, finally introduced herself before dubbing the class a sexual literacy class or SLT's, which quickly got spun into 'Sluts'. Spider and Ant start chanting "Sluts, Sluts, Sluts" before he's quickly cut off by the door slamming open and a new student stepping inside, he narrows his eyes…

A girl he had never seen before walks in, "uh hey? i'm not sure im meant to be here but i was called up? im new here, im Y/n L/n" the girl explained.

ms. Obah greeted her and motioned for her to sit down at the same table as spider and his mates. Leaning back in his seat, Spider smirks at the new addition to their little group. "Y/n L/n, huh? Well, Y/n, nice ta meet ya, the names spencer but my friends call me spider" he drawled, spewing more Aussie slang than usual. Crossing his arms, he gave her a once-over, grinning when she mentioned she wasn’t supposed to be there. "Well, looks like me and Ant here are gonna teach ya a thing or two bout rules today. Wanna play along, darlin'?" He winked, eyebrow raised suggestively. With a chuckle, he motions towards Amerie, snickering softly. "'S her fault we're here, dollface."

Y/n watches on, unimpressed. "god, so you're the class dickhead then?" she sasses.

"Oh, I ain't even close to bein' the biggest one around, love," Spider retorts with a cocky grin, leaning back in his chair. Seeing her stand up for herself only made him more interested. "But thanks for makin' me feel special, darling. That smile, though... How could anyone resist?" He leered at her playfully, crossing his arms over his chest. "Better start learnin', kiddo. Looks like yer in for a wild ride in 'SLT's.'" He chuckles, looking around at their fellow classmates before turning his attention back to her. "You're American, aren't ya?

Y/n rolls her eyes, "uh, no. its a British accent, you asshat"

Spider blinks, adjusting his gaze to study her for a moment. "British? Blimey, ya sound American tae me, love. Or Canadian, maybe?" He scratches the back of his head, tilting it to the side quizzically. "I dunno, mate. But yer right, I shouldn't judge a book by its cover, should I? Jus' a typical Aussie mistake." He grinned widely, clearly enjoying the banter. "Alright, Y/n, im sorry for taking the piss outta yer accent" he teases, noticing your expression.

"fuck off Spider we both know you'll be jacking off to my accent tonight" she winks as Ant and Dusty shove and make fun of Spider. Spider's cheeks flush a deep red. He glares at his friends before turning back to her, a mixture of embarrassment and amusement coloring his features. "Alright, alright. I'll admit it - I might've been thinking about it a bit. But yer can't blame me, doll. You've got a voice like honey." He rubs the back of his neck sheepishly, feigning innocence. "Just enjoy the view." Swallowing hard, he tries to recover his composure. "But seriously, welcome to our lovely little class. Just try not to break anything, yeah?"

"Well stop taking the piss out of my accent then" she reaches over and palms his crotch under the table when no one is looking to enforce what she said. Spider jolts in surprise, gasping quietly as your hand connected with his crotch. His face turns bright scarlet, but he somehow manages to maintain eye contact with you. "Fuck, love! Not exactly what I was expectin'," he stammers under his breath, trying to stifle his laughter. "But I think I'll survive." He clears his throat, attempting to regain control of the situation. "Listen, if it bothers you that much, I won't mention it again." he gives her a lopsided grin, still feeling the lingering effects of her touch. "Now, let's focus on this class" he adds, subtly adjusting himself under the table.

"deal" Y/n winks and turns her attention back to ms. Obah. Spider sits, watching you intently, his heart pounding slightly faster. He couldn't deny the attraction he felt, nor could he hide the satisfaction in his eyes. Shifting uncomfortably in his seat, he forces himself to pay attention to Ms. Obah's lecture. Still, his thoughts kept drifting back to your bold move and the thrill of it all. And despite the awkwardness, there was undeniably a sense of excitement that lingered between them. "Deal," he agrees softly, keeping an eye on you during the lesson. Little did he know, he was already hooked.

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itneverendshere · 1 day

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guilty conscience (+18)

chapter iii

pairing: rafe cameron x female!reader

summary: when ward cameron, a renowned business man and millionaire specifically requested your services through an escort agency, you assumed it would be just another job—brief and straightforward. however, your entire world shifted when ward disclosed his true intentions and rafe cameron stumbled into your life. there were rules, and rules were meant to be followed.

was money worth breaking someone’s heart?

taglist: lmk if you want to be added (comment down below! if you've already asked me to be here and I didn't tag you LET ME KNOW AGAIN CAUSE IM VERY FORGETFUL) : @haruvalentine4321 @maybankslover

Your phone buzzed in your nightstand, startling you out of your reverie.

With a sigh, you fished it out, glancing at the screen to see Ward's name flashing in bold letters. You’d just texted him an hour earlier but spared any details for your sake.

Taking a deep breath, you answered the call, plastering on your most professional tone.

"Hey, Ward. How's it going?"

There was a moment of silence on the other end, followed by Ward's booming voice, filled with impatience.

"Well? Did you find him? How's it going over there?"

You hesitated for a moment, unsure of how to tell him you royally fucked up. The truth was things hadn't exactly gone according to plan. Rafe had slipped through your fingers not once, but twice, leaving you feeling more defeated than ever.

But you couldn't let Ward know that. Not yet, at least.

"It's... going." you replied vaguely, trying to keep your tone upbeat.

There was a pause on the other end, and you could practically hear Ward's mind whirring with impatience.

"Make it faster," he snapped, his tone sharp and demanding. "He’ll be at the golf course tomorrow, 9 sharp.”

The golf course?!

You had never golfed a day in your life, let alone attempted to blend in with a bunch of rich snobs on the green. For fuck’s sake. This was going to be a disaster.

On the other hand, you were nothing if not resourceful. You didn’t know the first thing about golf, but you were a quick learner. And if there was one thing you were good at, it was improvising on the fly.

“Sofia works there. Get his attention off her.”

Easier said than done.

“Ward, your son looks at her like she hung the moon and the stars."

"I don't pay you to play matchmaker, sweetheart," he retorted sharply, his tone laced with irritation. "I pay you to get the job done. Now, I don't want any excuses tomorrow. Make sure you're at that golf course bright and early, and don't screw this up."

With that, he hung up the phone.

Fucking assshole.

You slammed your phone down on the nightstand, cursing under your breath.

Ward might have been your current employer, but that didn't mean you had to like him. Dealing with his crap was like dealing with a spoiled toddler throwing a tantrum. Except, you know, this toddler had a lot more money and power, which somehow made it even worse.

You were not some puppet he could just yank around whenever he felt like it, constantly ordering you around like some sort of lackey.

But you were not about to let Ward's ridiculous demands get the best of you. If he wanted you to be a professional golfer, you would give him just that.

The evening turned into a crash course on all things golf. Who knew there was so much to learn about golf etiquette? You spent hours glued to your laptop, absorbing every last detail you could find. And those YouTube tutorials? Let's just say you had never clicked on a video so fast in your life.

Then came the real fun—practicing your swing.

Spoiler alert: it was a hot mess. You must've looked like a total dweeb flailing around with that golf club in your hotel room.

And let's not forget about perfecting your fake smile. You must've spent a solid hour in front of the mirror, trying out different variations until you found the one that said, "I'm totally a golf pro, trust me."

By the time morning rolled around, you were as ready as you'd ever be.

You found yourself standing outside the gates of the local Country Club, taking deep breaths to calm your nerves. You glanced down at your outfit, a bunch of preppy pieces that you hoped screamed "I belong here" rather than "I have no idea what I'm doing."

And hey, bonus points for the fact that it made your ass and legs look great. Confidence boost, check.

With a mental pep talk and a final adjustment to your collar, you stepped through the gates, steeling yourself for what lay ahead. The crisp scent of freshly cut grass filled the air, mingling with the distant sound of clubs striking balls and polite laughter. You felt like a fish out of water in this sea of polo shirts and khaki shorts, but you refused to let it show.

Taking a deep breath, you approached the pro shop, hoping they had something available for a last-minute rental. Inside, it was bustling with old men browsing through rows of shiny clubs and chatting with the staff.

You stepped up to the counter, plastering on your best smile as you tried to appear confident.

“Hi there," you greeted the clerk, your voice coming out a little shakier than you would have liked. "I was wondering if you had any clubs available for rent?"

The clerk eyed you curiously, clearly noticing your lack of golf attire. "Sure thing," he replied with a friendly smile. "What kind of clubs are you looking for?"

You paused, realizing you had no idea what kind of clubs you needed. "Um, just something... basic?" you ventured, feeling completely out of your depth.

The clerk nodded understandingly and disappeared into the back room, returning a moment later with a set of clubs. "These should do the trick," he said, handing them over to you. "Just sign here, and you're all set."

You hastily scribbled your signature on the rental form, feeling a rush of relief as you finally held the clubs in your hands.

The course stretched out before you, lush green fairways bordered by trees and dotted with sand traps and water hazards. It all looked so pristine and posh, like something out of a magazine. You couldn't help but admire the luxury of it all, even though you felt like a total fish out of water.

Glancing around, you realized you were flying solo. No caddy to show you the ropes, no fellow players to offer tips or cheer you on. It was just you, your instincts, and the vast expanse of the course.

And let's not forget, your sheer power of delusion.

Taking a deep breath, you placed your ball on the tee and tried to remember everything you'd learned from those YouTube tutorials.

Grip firm, eye on the ball, swing smooth. Easy, right?

With trembling hands, you lifted the club and took a practice swing, hoping to shake off some of the jitters. Then, with a quick scan down the fairway, you drew back and swung.

The ball sailed through the air, arcing gracefully before landing with a satisfying thud on the fairway. It wasn't the most impressive shot in the world, but it was a start. You hadn't missed the ball entirely or accidentally hit someone in the head.

Small victories and all.

You grinned, feeling a rush of pride. Maybe this golf thing wasn't so bad after all.

You continued to take swings, each one feeling a little more confident than the last. It was all about finding that rhythm, hearing that satisfying "thwack" when the club met the ball, and watching it soar through the air.

You got lost in the game, forgetting all about the stress of the morning. The sun was climbing, spreading this warm, cozy light over the course, and all around you, there were these little moments of nature - birds chirping, clubs swishing, and the occasional "fore!" from nearby players.

It was kind of peaceful, in a way. All you cared about was nailing that next shot. Walking down the fairway, you couldn't help but grin to yourself. Sure, you weren’t exactly a golf prodigy, but who cared?

Just as you were lining up for another swing, a voice startled you from behind. "Hey new face, need a hand?"

“Fuck!” You blurted out, nearly dropping the club at the sound of his voice.

There he was, Rafe Cameron, looking all cool and collected in his golf gear like he'd just stepped out of a magazine. And of course, he caught you in the middle of your amateur hour on the course. You were hoping to find him during a break, probably around the bar, lurking around Sofia.

"Hey.” he said with a smirk, sauntering over to where you stood frozen in embarrassment. "Didn't mean to scare you.”

You tried to muster up a nonchalant response, but all that came out was a nervous chuckle. "Yeah. Just, you know, getting some practice in."

For the first time in my life, you’d like to add.

Rafe glanced down at the clubs in your hand, a glint in his eyes.

"Practice, huh? Well, you definitely look like you're giving it your all."

You wanted to die.

You forced a smile, hoping he couldn't see the panic swirling beneath the surface. "Yeah, well, gotta start somewhere, right?"

He chuckled, a sound that sent a shiver down your spine. "Mind if I join you?”

Your heart skipped a beat at the suggestion. This was not part of the plan, but you welcomed it anyway. You couldn't help but feel nervous at the thought of him witnessing your less-than-stellar golfing skills up close. But then again, you weren’t here to become a professional golfer, you were here to woo him off his feet and get paid.

Ward's words echoed in your mind—get his attention off her. And what better way to do that than by keeping him occupied with small talk on the golf course?

You shrugged, "The more, the merrier, right?"

"Exactly.” He said, falling into step beside you as you headed down the fairway. "So, how long have you been playing?"

You hesitated, not wanting to admit that this was your first time on a golf course. "Oh, you know, just getting into it recently," You replied vaguely, hoping he wouldn't press for details. "How about you?”

Rafe ran a hand through his tousled hair. "Been playing since I was a kid," he admitted. "It's kind of a family thing."

Of course, it is. Rich people. Nothing like a little golf for some family bonding time. But it gave you the opening you needed to make a personal connection. Nothing like sharing personal information to establish contact.

“That’s cute. My family thing was shoving pizzas down our throat every Friday.”

Rafe chuckled at your comment, the sound genuine. “Pizza Fridays sound pretty great, actually."

You smiled back, feeling a sense of relief wash over you. Maybe this wouldn't be as awkward as you'd feared. "Yeah, they were definitely the highlight of the week," you admitted. "But I have to say, golf seems a lot more... sophisticated."

Rafe raised an eyebrow. "Sophisticated, huh? You must be hanging out with the wrong crowd."

You felt yourself relax a little more with each passing moment.

"Maybe I just need the right teacher," you said, giving him a sideways glance.

Rafe's smile widened, and he stepped a little closer, "Well, lucky for you, I happen to know a thing or two about golf."

"Is that so?" you replied, trying to keep your tone light despite the sudden flutter in your stomach.

Rafe nodded, his expression turning more serious. "Yeah," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "If you're interested, I'd be happy to show you."

You could feel every little detail, like how close you were and the intensity in his eyes, like they were trying to unravel some mystery hidden deep inside you.

No, no, no.

Pull yourself together! You mentally slapped yourself, shaking off the dreamy haze that seemed to cloud your brain whenever he looked at you. You had goals, a mission to nail, and getting all googly-eyed over some suave, wealthy guy was not on the agenda.

You flashed him this playful grin, trying to play it cool even though your heart was doing somersaults in your chest.

"Oh, I dunno," you teased, taking a little step back to collect yourself. "Golf lessons? Sounds like it could burn a hole in my wallet. Can't be going broke over a new hobby."

Rafe chuckled, his eyes lingering on you for a second before he backed off, “You think I’d charge you?”

The way he said it, so casually, it sent a thrill through you, but you knew better than to let yourself get carried away. This was part of the game, after all.

“You’re always this nice to strangers?”

His blonde, tousled hair fell just so, framing his angular jawline, while a subtle stubble added a rugged charm to his appearance. And his smile... ugh, it's like he knew how fine he was. Rafe had this smirk that was just... chef's kiss. And his eyes? Sparkling like he was up to no good but in the best way possible. You couldn’t stop staring.

“Only the pretty ones.” he replied smoothly, his tone dripping with flirtation.

You couldn't help but roll your eyes, trying to maintain your composure despite the butterflies dancing in your stomach. But damn, if he didn't have a way with words.

"Well, lucky me then," you quipped, hoping your voice sounded steadier than you felt. “But don't think you're getting off that easy. 'M not just some pretty face, you know.

Rafe raised an eyebrow, gaze fixed on your hands as you moved them to fix your ponytail, “Is that so?"

Ah, you have no idea.

"Guess you'll just have to stick around to find out,” you replied with a cheeky wink, feeling a surge of confidence wash over you. “But fair warning, I'm not exactly a pro at this.”

Rafe chuckled, his eyes twinkling with amusement. “Don't worry,” he said, his voice softening. “I'll go easy on you.”

His confident demeanor was infectious, and you couldn't resist playing along.

“Who said I wanted easy?”

He tilted his head slightly, his hair shifted with the movement, “You think you can take me?”

With that, he gestured for you to take the next shot. You could feel his eyes on you as you lined up your shot, the weight of his gaze fueling your focus.

Taking a deep breath, you blocked out all distractions and focused on the ball. Grip firm, eyes locked on the target, you swung the club with all the force you could muster.

The ball sailed through the air, soaring gracefully before landing with a satisfying thud on the fairway. You couldn't help but grin as you watched it roll to a stop, a surge of pride coursing through your veins.

Rafe let out a low whistle, his expression somewhat impressed. "Not bad," he conceded. "Let's see if you can keep it up."

“Sounds like you’re scared…”

His eyebrows practically hit the sky when you threw down the gauntlet, his lips curling up. "Scared?" he shot back, his voice oozing with playful doubt, “Of you?”

Oh boy.

“Of losing.”

“Pretty girl, I don’t lose.”

Yeah, we’ll see about that.

“And you’d swing a lot harder if you arched your back just a little.”

"How so?” you retorted, your tone teasing.

Rafe stepped up behind you, his presence suddenly much closer than before. His large hands gently adjusted your posture, touch gentle yet firm.

"Like this," he murmured, his breath warm against your ear as he guided you through the motion.

The warmth of his palms seeped through the fabric of your shirt, sending a wave of tingles across your skin. His fingers rested lightly against your sides, the pressure just enough to provide guidance without feeling intrusive. You tried to focus on his instructions, on the proper form and technique, but it was so fucking hard with him standing so close.

Every subtle movement, every brush of his body against yours…goddamn. You bit your lip to stifle a gasp, unable to believe how good it felt to have him so close.

"Alright, let's work on that swing.”

There was a confidence in his tone, a subtle reassurance that made you want to combust on the spot. The way his voice rose and fell with each word…it was difficult to do anything with the sensation of his touch sending your senses into overdrive.

You tilted your head slightly and threw out the question, "Like this?"

Before he could even answer, you couldn't resist the urge to push the boundaries a bit. So, you arched your back ever so subtly, pressing yourself back into him. It was a total spur-of-the-moment move.

There was a beat of silence that felt like an eternity. And then, oh my god, you felt his hands tighten slightly on your waist.

“Just like that.”

But then he stepped back and you couldn't help but feel disappointment at the loss of his proximity. You gave yourself a mental shake and got back into the swing of things – pun totally intended.

Grabbing the club again, you were all set to take your next shot. With Rafe's tips fresh in your mind, you took a swing, putting everything you had into it. And would you believe it? The ball actually went where you wanted it to, landing way closer to the hole than you expected.

Rafe's reaction was priceless. His eyebrows shot up again, and there was this look in his eyes like, this time he was genuinely impressed.

Score one for you.

But you weren’t about to get cocky just yet. So, you gave him a smirk and threw down the gauntlet.

“Funnily enough, I never lose either.”

#rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron au #rafe cameron outer banks #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe x reader #rafe fic #rafe cameron fluff #rafe angst #rafe outer banks #rafe obx #outerbanks rafe #rafe imagine #rafe x you #rafe x female!mc #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron x female reader #rafe cameron x y/n

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victimized-martyr · 1 year

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I love all your kyman hc's so much!!!!😭❤ I just need to hear more, so here are my questions: if kyman got married how would they act around each other? And do you think they'd adopt kids and if yes: what would they name them? And would they raise them jewish or christian or both?

Aaahhh I know there are too many questions I'm sorry 😭😭

Don’t apologize, I love talking about kyman :D

Regardless of context, the core of their dynamic is: Cartman is the instigator, Kyle reacts, a little back and forth, escalate the issue to Nth degrees of insanity, Kyle lands the final blow. Though sometimes, depending on the issue, Kyle lands the last punch thinking he’s won, only for Cartman to win the war last minute. Another way the show’s mixed things up, is that Kyle’s victory is undermined either by South Park itself, or Cartman. I see their marriage as an opportunity to expand their unique dynamic and introduce new plotlines/ jokes that couldn’t be done if they were still kids.

I see Cartman taking Randy’s place as the adult that’s always up to no good, the fixture of South Park’s weirdness. self serving hijinks flare up just about every week. Meanwhile, the Sharon (or straight man) to offset that cannot be anyone else but Kyle. This time however, unlike the marshes, and perhaps most couples in South Park, the Brofloski’s are truly in love. That’s kinda the joke. The couple that started out insulting each other and trying to kill each other on multiple occasions end up in the happiest relationship. I see them fitting nicely among the pantheon of sitcom couples— Mitchel and Cameron, Marge and Homer, Ralph and Alice, Gomez and Morticia. Their relationship, in Trey fashion, pays homage to and in the same breath, mocks those classic couples.

TLDR, Their dynamic is in tact, it’s just evolved to a new label. Instead of sort of friends-ish, they’re a couple. They’re still loud, obsessed with each other, fight over issues, hang out and share similar tastes. Only this time they got rings on their fingers. And if they don’t fistfight, how do they deal with their classic arguments? Well, like any sensible american couple, of course! they fuck each other’s brains out! ( just kidding. I have this vision of Cartman doing the most outrageous shit and Kyle chasing him offscreen in anger, Cartman shouting “domestic abuse domestic abuse!”)

I’m not sure what they’d name their kids. Does it matter? I do know what personalities I’d like them to have though— the 1st, their oldest, is outgoing, entitled, bossy, manipulative, a performative people pleaser, makes everyone’s problems their responsibility, and is quick witted. (A 2w3) Much like Eric, they are exceptionally charismatic and love being in the limelight. And like Kyle, they love getting involved in the lives of others, seen as helpful. The 2nd child is less outspoken, prefers to keep opinions to themselves, a dispassionate observer. ( poster child for 8w9) Like Eric, they’re materialistic, and prone to laziness. Still, they are an intellectual like Kyle, and far more principled in comparison to their sibling/Eric. They’re probably the most capable and dangerous in the family. They don’t shoot themselves in the foot like Cartman, and they don’t fight against the currents of South Park like Kyle. If they wanted to, they could take over the world and succeed where the Brofloskis failed. They just don’t care though lol.

I could never, ever see them as a two religion household. Yeah, Cartman has been portrayed as a bigoted Christian (or in his words, “[used] Christianity as an excuse to be a piece of shit”), but carrying that extremity to adulthood isn’t as funny. I don’t know how to articulate that other than, many extreme right wingers on twitter weren’t able to read Cartman’s bigotry in Cupid Ye as hyperbolic and instead took it as fact, and praised the stuff he whispered into Tolkien’s ears. His actions in Cissy were recently trending and was seen as heroic and like, justification why trans ppl can’t use whatever bathrooms they want. You can’t escalate the crazy stuff from real life anymore— it’s become reality. So the funniest thing to do, is either personify it as something else or, run in the opposite direction. If anything, PC has shown us that it’s funnier that the very same kid who once belittled Judaism in fact, became devoutly Jewish and proceeded to rub it in everyone’s faces rather than him ending up as some evil businessman. You rob bigots the chance to idolize Cartman, but give Cartman the freedom to hone his brand of idiocy on other things. So! Kyle slaps the antisemitism outta him, they get married, bam. They are a Jewish family.

#south park #kyman #eric cartman #kyle broflovski #cartman #what is brevity? hell if I know #asks #talk tag #Again it’s important that Cartman’s an asshole in different ways #like there’s this excellent trey quote where he introduces Matt as his wife #and like. wouldn’t that be the perfect way to piss kyle off??#‘My lovely wife Kahl’ ‘honey you really need to get that sand out of your vagina’#Cartman just loves Kyle’s attention in general so yeah he’s a tease but instead of insults he prefers flirting #is it because its the right thing to do and the way to respect his spouse? sure if that’s what u think. all Cartman knows is that #the less he insults his husband and the more praise he gives the better sexy times is #the insults don’t come from a genuine place anymore either bc again he’s reconciled how in love he is w/ kyle #and w/ kyle he knows cartman is all talk and he loves putting him in place and like why would he pummel his husband in punches if kisses #knocks him off his pedestal even more?? literally a look will bring his husband to his knees (reverence..apology..other..doesn’t matter)#oop im blurring this tag w/ my next answered question lolol

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dysfunctionaldogdude · 2 days

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I feel like actually shit like the entirety of last week getting to me. I wish I could have a moment of actual relaxation and not just me forgetting I have shit to do.

(Tag warning-> depressing talk, dark topics)

Might delete this idk..

#vent post #tag rambles #I have over 60 different things to fill out that I need to do by tomorrow and I forgot to do them. I feel so stupid #I actually hate having adhd #people try to make it out to be just a quirky thing that its not that big of a deal or anything #but it's not #it impairs on relationships #I struggle to remember important things that I need to do and even WANT to do. I struggle so bad #I even have fights with people about me being a “liar” even though I'm not #I just have a shit ass memory I feel useless 90% of the time and shit #gods and I doubt it's just me having adhd. Im pretty sure its my possibility of having bpd and autism #i show all symptoms of bpd and I relate far too much with autism videos #like this is stuff active in my daily life #people don't see it often due to have carefully Ive crafted.. this is going to sound a bit fannibal of me but literally a person suit #i swear a person suit #it's not even funny #gods i just wish I could function without getting all up and arms about how much of a pos I feel #if I don't get attention from.. basically.. my fp I get all sad and melancholy. i spiral #I'm pretty sure I have at least three fps #if I even have bpd #but gods #just so stupid how I can barely fucking function without all of these crutches #I'm not in a certian program anymore for a thing and now I can't fuction and work how I use to since it was a slower environment #I'm failing #like I won't be able to make it I feel like #not suicide or anything #just in things I wanted to do #feels like my future is doomed cause life keeps throwing curve balls at me #someone with at least two mental disabilities #i definitely have more

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spider-man-2o99 · 1 year

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hehee.i unnersand it all now.

#talking tag #spider-man #atsv #across the spider-verse #atsv spoilers #? in tags. maybe.#well. most accurately just Speculation since its still not out yet lmao #sony always put the climax in the trailer. Every Single Time they do it lol #they spoil their own films like it’s their Job to. and they GET AWAY W/ IT...#but. ANYWAYS lol.#everything we're seeing so far w/ the gwiles romeo-juliet Thing PLUS that ''you don't know what you're doing'' line from mig?#dude im. like. pretty solidly sure migs plots gonna be that he thinks theyre gonna get either themselves or others killed acting selfishly #(’’selfishly’’ in quotes as his guilt complex is not my guilt complex thanku)#’cause with how much gwen’s (and /jeff’s!!!!/) mortality is Seemingly being brought 2 our attention right b4 the film drops...#it is not for No Reason.#maybe tjat reason is fenuinely jonest to fod just Stir Jype Fet Butts In Seats #sorry. *maybe that reason is genuinely honest-to-god just Stir Hype Get Butts In Seats Come Junetime. idk. idk.#but. oy. freakin.. gimme this. if the Cracks have been showingfor months just pretend they have not been. thanks.#ANYWAYS I KNOW HOW MIGUEL THINKS & IF THE MOVIE MADE BY PEOPLE WHO HAVE ZERO OBLIGATION 2 ME IS BAD I BLOW UP THE SUN.#<- person who is well-adjusted and can be trusted inside all movie theaters i prommy

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petrichoraline · 8 months

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yall gotta start tagging me in meta and stuff cause I'm always late -I honestly feel better this way than having to rush to watch an episode live like I used to do with nlmg, msp and others but by the time I catch up, I have missed out on some great posts from both mutuals and strangers alike :( and going through the tag of these popular series is not as easy as for more niche shows

#like here i am ready to gush about how kang finally got sailom in his feet but in a way he didnt know he wanted #how sailom calls for help and it is out of desperation but its not caused by kang and the call isnt to make him stop but to ask for support #and how kang feels someone needs him for once and how he feels useful and appreciated when he does smth good for someone #which he hasnt done in how long?#and im thinking about how his starvation for sailoms attention will only grow bigger but its a need for specific attention now #and also thinking about how had his dad let him be useful in productive ways he wouldnt have gone down the evil nihilist route #so being given the chance to be of use almost by accident is changing the trajectory of his life #id argue this one incident is fundemental to anything that happens from here on out not only cause it gets them to work together #but because he got a taste of what he wants - to be appreciated for doing good and to be there for sailom in particular #yeah i wouldnt write that cause im sure at least ten people already have in a way more articulate and creative way #please tag me in things thank you!

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skeletalheartattack · 2 years

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Enjoy this Fanart of Boe and his Doggy! by @copperkatz

OUHH!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOODNESS LOOK AT THEM WAH!!!!!!!!!! GOD THEY LOOK SO PERFECT!! THANK YOU SO MUCH 🌺🍀🌸🌹

#submission #boe #boe tai marrow #budd #my characters #WAH!!!!!#WAHHHHHH!!!!!#sorry thats me crying WAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!#AND LOOK AT BUDD!!!!!!!!!!! WAH WAH HHHH #and stickie his tongue out.... LOVE #i nearly jumped seeing my boys like WAHH #sorry im gonna be crying a lot with these tags i cant help IT #i absolutely adoooore how youve drawn both of them...#the attention to detail too!!! budds little splotches and boes little sharp tufts of hair that go along his mohawk...#im about to start crying again #ALSO I HAD TO MAKE SURE THIS WAS AT THE TOP OF MY FEED #i usually try to do that with any submissions or asks or similar type things #bUT ANYWAY THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU #SORRY FOR THE INITIAL POST BEING BLANK #i swear submissions absolutely hate me they hate me!!!#anytime i try to edit them to include my tags and response it always gives me an error #idk why its like this! ive tried it on two seperate browsers and it hurts babes!!!!#anyway that aside thank you thank you thank you UGH

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larrysballetslippers · 3 months

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#it's been a while that I put something in the tags but Im very lost atm for reasons i don't know #i don't know if Im nervous to see my friendgroup from uni again because my ex crush is going to be there and I have to pretend everything is #fine while also not getting frustrated by that toxic friend that I can't stand anymore #or if it's because im feeling so damn empty from getting on a dating app after being rejected by said ex crush #i don't know know why Im on there my friend said it was an good idea but Im already regretting but I can't just delete it or whatever #because I actually have some people I have been talking to but why do I feel so empty then??#why does it feel like my life has been sucked out of me today? it can't just me the amount of interaction im sure that's not it.#i thought ... i thought this would make me happy to try bew things to get more attention from people get more confident #but why can't I shake this depression like feeling off #because I know this feeling well but I hope it doesn't stay please don't stay #how will I get better like this? am I still healing? i know I am but I was fine just yesterday just yesterday I didn't think of him #so why can't I shake this?#i have no answers I have nothing and I can't talk to anyone about it either because I don't even know what's going on #please just let me understand so I can heal this fix this #please just make me okay again #i can't start the year like this #please

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ragnars-tooth · 1 year

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Periodically i go through my camera roll and redraw characters as all the shit in there

These ones are like 4 months old but they make me laugh every time i flip past them lmao

#the last dragon chronicles #tldc #tldc russ #anders bergstorm #tldc tootega #p sure he had a surname but soz its 4am im not looking rn </3 #tam farrell #tldc bernard #david rain #tldc bonnington #lucy pennykettle #fuck it sure i guess this is a main tag post 😭😭#side note: idk if russ has a surname in canon but ive been calling him russ palmer #just watched the og the thing last week and found out the pilot's called palmer 😭#so thats sticking now #(at least. im like 80% sure hes the pilot. honestly was not paying a lot of attention <3)#dont worry guys im really normal about how much i enjoyed the thing in the middle of my tldc interest :) ... :)#these couldve been less yellow but i havent been awake while the sun is out for a week 👍#its silly doodles who give a shit #ragnar art #oh christ yea good luck with my handwriting #ill rb with a description tomorrow actually

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autistic-shaiapouf · 1 year

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Same anon as before, I’m happy that you’re accepting yourself! That’s great news. I had a very similar situation where I was very embarrassed about what character my brain chose to project onto, but after working with my therapist and years of reflection I’ve realized it had to be that character because they were the only one I could see myself in, we were both abused in certain ways that made it like looking in a mirror, and being Him meant that I was able to protect myself because he could (character is someone “dangerous” in their world). So I really think it comes down to a reflection of trauma, and there’s nothing to be ashamed about. We coped with what our brains found the most comfort in.

If I can ask, what does your therapist think about it? Only wondering because with my therapist, they are aware we have fictives of this character as well as the system as a whole projects through him but I’m still trying to figure out if it’s part fictives and other part alters with psychotic attachments or if there’s something else at play as well like past lives (the old fictionkin community used to be big into that but I know it’s not so much anymore so I’m a little embarrassed but I am still a spiritual person) alr that’s all, looking forward to your response!

First of all, I'm glad to hear back from you anon!!

My therapist and I figured roughly the same thing happened with me! When I say I use this character as a therapy tool, I don't think it's appreciated enough that it's bc my therapist familiarized himself with the source - my therapist watched (and enjoyed) 148 episodes of anime for my sessions and I cannot stress that enough lmao; we're pretty sure that what happened was that I saw a lot of my emotional trauma play out again in front of me in his character arc, mostly in the way he perceives himself but also with how he struggles with his emotions and general interactions with the world (with my own difficulty with such coming from the climate of the family that abused me). He did serve as a mirror, not just of my own trauma, but also of what I wish I could have done, which was to lash out and genuinely own my anger and frustration and do something. Of course there's a lot more to it, but with just covering the surface, looks like we've had pretty similar experiences!

As for my therapist's thoughts on this, we actually haven't put any clinical labels on it. I personally like labels, they make me feel sure and certain about things in my life, which is why I tried to nail this down with the OSDD/DDNOS (complete with question mark) in my bio, but truth be told I'm not entirely sure I meet the full criteria for either of them, in spite of the genuine experiences I've had with what definitely feels like multiplicity of some sort. Interestingly enough, while I myself am not very spiritual, my therapist did make a mention that this is an experience that I could try looking at through a spiritual lens, especially since it's been coming up a lot more as I'm trying to rework some deeply held thought patterns. There's been a pretty positive outlook on it overall and he encouraged me to interact with it - the episodes tend to come with some specific thoughts and feelings, so we're treating them (and by extension, this character) as a sort of conduit for them, sort of like a messenger bringing attention to them. This is all some pretty specific info for my stuff though lmao, I just wanted to cover the ground as thoroughly as I could 💖

#part of me genuinely does wanna reach out to the fictionkin community just for the value of having potential community experience #but also. maybe I'll just watch them for a bit and think about it lmao #my experiences with my dissociation is like. it feels like there's someone else with me you know? im alone but i can feel someone else #and I'm holding their feelings and thoughts in those moments #if i believed in ghosts hardcore this would 100% make me think im possessed but fortunately i recognize where #all this is coming from as far as functionality and the name attached; funnnily enough i remember a video my roommate #put on and it was talking about psychosis scenes in movies + gauging them for accuracy #and the guy starts talking about DID and I'm like okay i definitely dont meet the criteria for that but I'm half paying attention #and he mentions that one of the things that people have reported is feeling like they're possessed and i just sat there FLOORED by this #bc that was exactly how I'd described the feelings in therapy; 1:1 word for word 😳 again i know for sure i dont have DID #but the same guidelines that make up the definitions and criteria are kinda also running along my dissociative episodes as well #ive already said so much in the tags but i did have a session where i just sat there and was like. i want to love every part of myself #and that includes the episodes; i know they're a protective measure and i dont wanna feel like I'm fighting them anymore #that was months ago; this is by far the most vocal ive been about it #it took almost a year for me to settle into it and be able to talk about it even in therapy but I'm so glad i can do it now #and I'm so glad to be hearing from people who understand how this feels 💖💖💖 thank you so much again!!!#im realizing that i actually have a lot of thoughts on this now that im actually understanding it a lot better #the asks are just giving me some chances to infodump a little hehe 💕#you're welcome in my inbox any time!! thanks again!! 💖💖💖#asks

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